#and my mom says if they don't stop swimming they'll die

[noro-noro-noro]

dreamed about the flesh disease

dream that I was in an apartment by the beach with a bunch of strangers. I went outside in the morning before the sun rose and there was a lot of sea life visible in the water - I called this other girl out o take a look bc there was a family of 3 orcas. then there were more and more anyomals and it became stormy. lightning was striking and the waves were huge & all sorts of massive sea life was getting flunf about silhouette visible through lightjing strikes in the waves or being hurled up onto the beach. we were on the 4th floor but I still worried.

when we took back the inside it was now my mom's house and this wall of flesh sat on the outside balcony. I opened the door to peek out and it was right there and extended tendeils inside & we had to play an extended chase sequence where it was inexorable. it would not stop until we can't run anymore and it consumed us - I replaysd this minigame a few times and it never worked and I could never escape. it created disease baby things to chaw us down like grenades. innthe end though a flaw in its programming msde it stop chasing the last uninfected person, so there'd be one survivor at least until they were infected through other means.

anyway those with infection showed no symptoms. something happened and I think we abandoned our plane and aimed at at the flesh source to plummet out into the artic - if the plane blew t up would we be safe? but then I thought about allthe pieces that would fall charred into the ocean and be eaten by fish. would that really be ok? then we hit the absolutely freezing water and all I had to think about was gathering my crew and supplies to try to do anything with before night fell, and it was almost here. the sky was all dark blue approaching. we were doing our best to swim aroudna and gather debris and sticks and finding something thick enough to stand on.

inexplicably I found the tardis half buried in snow on an ice shelf. I gathered my crew & david tennant -lite character answered the door looking like he had a bad cold. the interior lookstlike a mishmash of architecture rather than your usual mental image of it with all the pie tins in the wall - there was a front hall now & it looked like an overgrown abandoned sewer, & then it wenr into small rooms similar to the beach apartment, & only then did I realize that my crew were acting strange. everyone who was flesh infexted had a singular desire. to leave? to go outside? to find others? i don't know. I tried to lock them out of the bathroom that me & mr t were in and pleaded with him to save me & leave them all there - use your machine. get us out of here. they'll die in the Arctic surely. and we'll be ok.

ut the only thing stronger than the flesh induced desire to wander was their need to follow their captain. no matter what they kept coming back for me. they opened the locked door with ease and looked at me and I could not say no. my responsibility is to them. and I was their figurehead & their banner & their flag. somehow still immune.

we left back into the nighttime storm, but I saw there was a rescue team out from the nearby town drawn out because of the downed plane. people in gear were kayaking around & I saw the city over the hill. I thought if I drowned myself my crew would follow because I didn't want to infect anyone else - I can only imagine how it'd spread. but when I dove down deep and tried to breathe out I saw that they didn't need to breatheat all. thet looked at me and in the dark from 10 feet down their mouths and noses were sealed.

so I resurfaced and tried to warn the rescuers to leave us be & take us away from civilization. they don't believe me about the infection but their leader was a guy with smooth brown hair & brown stubble long enough it was pretty much actually already a beard and mustache. he was a well known adventurer and his name ended with an O -mambrino or something. he kind of listened and did agree to take us far. but I think he got sick too - he was hiding in the other side of an ice floe nearby town trying to hide but a kid fan stills saw him. I went over .

now we're in a hotel almost completely overgrown with blur and yellow fleshy tendrils. many are walking or staggering around like zombies with their upper body consumed by it. one of my crew members now made really horrible stopped and said something I didn't understand about the largest tangle of thorny tendrils. there were motion sensing yellow thorn traps in the walls. any injury from these meaty plants would cut you and infect you too.

I had to fly to get over this & back to the surface, & it was almost an amusement park. there was the typical play in this half abandoned church building & I had a seat on these ledges high up on the wall for the best view, but it turned out that the park was now run by people who only wanted more infection fodder. made sure to pack the area full . surround them with spikes walls. they didn't listen to me as I flew overhead begging them to leave. announce and demand the killings - and if you're uncomfortable with this ride, jump in these tubes for quick escape!

the tubes were meat grinders. there was no escape that way. people started panicking & shoving as metal tore through the crowd, but I shot towards the entrance. the rest of my family was there & I told them we had to head out like now, so they turned around before reaching the kill floor & we started makig our way out. I flew up to scout and then back down & as we were escaping, a more hopeful turn was revealed through reading my old diary entries of this day about what factions were fighting back and where.

[twirlingfairies]

more reasons

A is going to get together with her crush and i never will

E wouldn't be embarrassed to be near me

I'm so fucking tired of being the fat one

I'm not good at anything and I'm also fat

my period would stop and I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore

J would like me

my freshies would look up to me and think I'm so cool and want to be like me

I can be skinny like every other nursing student

this hole in my chest would go away

i won't have to look at thinspo because I would be thinspo

i could watch TV shows and focus on the plot and not just the skinny girls

so everyone will want to be my friend or if not they'll be jealous of me

so I will look like pink A

so I can wear sweatpants without looking gross and ugly

so i can wear little shirts without my stomach being the main point

so mom will keep asking if i lost weight

so grandma will do the same every time I see her

so I can eat and not feel guilty

so people will take me seriously when i say I'm fucking sad

so i have a chance with even one guy

so I can get dressed without crying

so I can buy clothes without crying

so I can look in a mirror without crying

so I can shower without crying

so I can wear a swimming suit without crying

so I can wear a swimming suit at all

so I can eat at work and people will worry if I don't

so I can feel faint all the time

so I can be so small I won't dent my mattress

so E will be jealous of how thin I've become

so i could go the gym

so I can do yoga without wanting to die from how bad I look

so girls would like me and guys would too

so when I walk the stage no one will care about my accolades but they will think about how tiny i am in my gown

so my doctor will say I'm a good weight

so I can be small

so someone will love me