#and my hospital shifts start in two weeks and i start training next week bro

[soobasaur]

ugh i had a terrible first day back

[wiypt-writes]

Rock ‘N’ Roll People In A Disco World

Part 2- Panic At The Disco

Intro: You head to the hospital as Paul’s life hangs in the balance and as you wait for news, you start to reflect on the early days of your relationship.

Pairing: Paul Diskant x Reader

Warnings: Bad language, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: So, you migh recognise a few familiar names/faces in this as well- I can assure you this isn’t an Avengers/Diskant AU, just a way for me to pay tribute to a few of our faves…because, why not!

Rock ‘n’ Roll People Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Part 1

"All units, we have a possible 2-4-5 in progress at 4223 E Palm, South of Figueroa and 1st. Unit responding is requesting back up, 11-9-9, Code 3."

"Unit 613 responding, Code 3."

The call went out over dispatch and you felt a slight relief at the fact support was on its way. You took a deep breath, held firm, your weapon poised as your partner stood next to you. 

"LAPD, drop the weapon and come out with your hands up. We will fire." Officer Barton, a long time veteran on beat called out. "Panny, hit the porch."

You nodded and walked the short steps, bracing yourself against the stucco near the jam. 

"Come on Garcia, your old lady called it in, I have back up coming, bro. You don't want this to go down worse than it is," Barton shouted. "Don't make my Rookie work hard today, man."

Lights and sirens filled your ears and soon a second unit had arrived on scene. The suspect, now surrounded, soon surrendered, his weapon dropped to the ground as he came out of his home with his hands up. 

The second unit to respond to the call was helping Barton with the arrest while you headed inside to check on the girlfriend who'd called it in. She was beat up and bloodied, a bullet graze across her upper left arm. Paramedics were treating her as you wrote down everything she could tell you for the report to be filed later. 

You gave the woman’s hand a little squeeze as you promised her you’d be right back and headed outside where you saw Barton stood talking to one of the duty sergeants from the second unit and another officer who you hadn’t seen before.

"She's requesting an escort, both medics are male," You said to Barton.

“Okay.” Barton nodded. “You good to take it or do you want me to call back and request someone take over?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I’m good, I could use the overtime. It’s no problem.”

"Rookies, always looking for the pay out," Barton laughed at you and you snorted before you looked back at the house.

“Well, to be honest I wanna make sure she’s okay, she’s beat up pretty bad.”

"Yeah, well this isn't their first 240 but now, it's bumping to a 273D, if she keeps the chargers." Barton nodded. “Okay, go with her and I’ll file the initial report when I get back. You can add your details to it later.”

“See, we’re not always money grabbing assholes.” The officer you’d never met before turned his eyes to the sergeant who met his look with one of his own. “Some of us rookies are simply driven by our social conscience.”

As the two men looked at one another it was clear that the statement meant something, and you could probably take a good guess that the officer in question had also had his fair share of rookie jokes at his expense. It was part and parcel of being a newbie.

“Oooh I’m sensing a little bit of tension there, Barnes!” Barton looked at the sergeant who scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“He’s a wise guy, thinks he’s funny.”

“I don’t think it, I know it.” The buzz cut man shrugged. “Why else does everyone laugh at me when I walk into a room?”

At that you couldn’t help a little chuckle of laughter as your eyes looked over the hood of Sargent Barnes' black and white and caught the name plate of the wise ass, before your eyes flicked up to his face. A pair of shades were pushed up on top of his shorn light brown hair, revealing a pair of blue eyes which were twinkling slightly with good humour. He was clean shaven with a strong jawline, and a pretty handsome profile with high cheekbones and a smattering of freckles over his nose. Two strong arms folded over a broad chest, as he stood tall, a good inch or so above Sergeant Barnes and a fair few over you. 

His eyes caught yours, a smirk curling in his lips as he clearly thought you’d been checking him out.

Which, to be fair, you had, and all in all, he was pretty damned hot.

"Don't I know you?" He asked, his hands unfolding from across his chest and coming to rest on his utility belt, either side of the buck.

“I don’t think so.” You shook your head.

“I’m sure I do. I never forget a pretty face.”

You laughed at the blatant pick up line and looked at Barton who was watching, his eyebrow raised. You shook your head and turned back to make some sly quip of your own before the medic interrupted the exchange, telling you they were ready for transport. You nodded before once more switching your attention back to the three men around you.

“It’s been a pleasure, gents.” You smiled, nodding to both Barton and Sergeant Barnes before you turned to look at the other man. "Diskant.”

He feigns a pain to his chest with a hard slap of his right hand over his heart. "Uh, you do know me! That hurts."

“Read your name tag.” You shrugged and with that you turned and left.

The red and blue lights of the black and white bouncing off the concrete exterior of UCLA Medical Centre as you arrived brought you out of your memory. Officer Weiss opened the door for you and escorted you inside where the waiting room had been cleared and you were met with the somber faces of not only Captain Biggs, but Paul's Captain, Sam Wilson. But what brought your world crashing down on you for the second time that night was seeing your own Captain, Steve Rogers, waiting for you. Wilson had to have called him in.

"Steve," your voice quivered as your Captain and friend wrapped an arm around you. Sam, too, pulling you close. "What...." you couldn't even get the words out, each syllable choked back by the closing of your throat, sobs threatening to escape. 

"We don't know, not yet. The call came in as an officer down, unit in pursuit. Medics arrived and called in code blue, 10-45C GSW to the neck. As soon as they arrived he was wheeled into emergency surgery," Captain Biggs explained. 

The air left your lungs at the news and you near hit the floor, both Rogers and Wilson catching an arm, and had you been more with it, you’d have clocked the worried look that your Captain shot Sam. He'd known you since your training at the academy, his eye on you for SWAT from the get go, and never had he seen your lose control in such a way. You hadn’t on the job, not once. It was something you prided yourself on.

Biggs grabbed a chair from the wall behind him, where a dozen lined the sterile white space, and allowed you to flop into it. Your hands were shaking, legs bouncing on the balls of your feet, the tore up converse you’d slipped on squeaking a little on the clinical floor. You’d dressed in such a haste, your skinny jeans being grabbed straight back off the top of the hamper for you to put on, one of Paul’s hoodies being pulled on over a tight camisole. Whilst you hadn’t given a single thought to what you were wearing, clearly your subconscious had wanted to be near him, and you were glad as you pulled the dark grey item round you tighter, breathing in his smell. And you were reminded of the first time you were able to really be close enough to smell his cologne or deodorant, a smell that was uniquely Paul Diskant. 

It was Friday and your shift had just finished. It was the first time your rest days had fallen over a Saturday and Sunday, and you were making the most of it. A few from your team were heading to Jack's Bar for a few beers and, you suspected, a lot of shots and probably karaoke later, apparently that’s how your team nights went down.

You’d been there a few hours and your rounds had all gotten out of sync, as was always the case when everyone had had a few, so you stood up to head to the bar to get yourself a refill, cringing at the cat-screeching masquerading as singing which was ringing around the room. You found a space, placing your empty glass on the smooth wood of the bar and stood waiting for the bar tender. You hadn’t been there long when someone sidled in next to you, their elbow lightly brushing your arm and you glanced up to see the handsome, buzz-cut officer that had attended the 273D you’d dealt with in the week.

“Did you bring your cuffs?” He asked and you frowned, looking at him.

“What? Why?”

He jerked his head over his shoulder in the direction of the woman singing, “because she’s murdering Shania Twain and whilst she may feel like a woman, personally I feel that as police officers, it’s our duty to prevent crimes of this nature.”

You groaned out a laugh, “Jesus, you’re terrible”

“My name isn’t Jesus, but give me a chance and I’ll make you say ‘Oh God’,” he shot you a wink, “how’s that for terrible?”

You laughed and shook your head, cocking it slightly to one side as you studied him for a second. And then, you decided on a little joke of your own. “It’s Disco, right?”

He groaned, dropping his head in a dramatic sigh. “Diskant. Come on, you read my name tag, remember?”

"Diskant."  You shrugged, "Close enough."

He chuckled, nodding to your drink that was down to the foam at the bottom of the glass, "what are you drinking?"

"Beer," you replied.

"Any beer? Or..."

"The Heff," you nod to the taps.

Diskant waved the bartender over, "Jack, can we get another round, one for me and one for Officer...."

"Y/L/N."

"Officer Y/L/N. Whatever she's drinking."

"It's Paul by the way," he smirked at you while dropping some cash on the bar top as Jack returned your beers.

"Thanks for the beer, Disco," You winked and walked off to join your partner and the rest of the shift team.

“Woah, it’s like that? I buy you a drink and you bail, without even telling me your name?” He scoffed and you turned to look at him over your shoulder, giving him a smirk.

“Yeah," you shrugged, and when you turned away you could feel his eyes burning into your back.

Later, you saw him laughing in a full body tilt, eyes crinkled and his smile exploding. His partner, whom you'd recognized again as Barnes, had said something ridiculous causing the table to erupt.

You headed to the bar and ordered a round of shots for your team and another beer to chase it. But sent one over Paul's way, with a note on the napkin.

When the waitress took the beer to him, she placed the napkin down first, making sure he saw the scribbled note.

'Now we're even. - Y/N'

You watched as he read the note, a huge smile breaking over his handsome face and he turned, bright eyes searching the bar. When they fell on you, he arched his brow and raised his beer in thanks. You gave a sharp jerk of your head to show you’d seen and turned back to your team.

From then on, he was a persistent little shit. He'd somehow figured out your shift patterns, catching you in and out of the doors to the station as you'd be coming off shift and he starting his. Barton liked to give you shit for it as he'd always walk with you out, calling Diskant "your lost, little puppy-dog" and the unit were quick to catch on. It was all in good fun, until one day, you'd worked a tough shift; chasing down a couple of suspects and catching yourself up on a fence, gashing your arm good. Medics treated you at the scene, but told you that it required stitches. You finished you shift anyway and like clockwork, there he was walking in as you were out.

"Hey Y/N, you okay?" He'd expressed concern as your face was blatantly displaying your discomfort and mood which wasn’t great.

You were tired, irritated and in pain, now that the day was over, you wanted to just go home, so you seemed to snap in reply, "What the hell is it gonna take for you to just go away?"

Your response took him back a bit as he raised his hands in defense."Whoa, relax," his voice was soft and careful.

You sighed and stepped out of the way of the different people coming in and out the doors. He followed. "I'm sorry, that was shitty. It's just been a really long day."

"It’s okay, I get it. Look, I'm off today, I was coming in to get some stuff I left in my locker. I'm sorry if I've crossed a line somehow."

You thought to yourself for a moment. He hadn't crossed any line, not one that made you uncomfortable. You had your own reservations about dating someone from work, but it wasn’t like no one else did it, hell, half the entire force seemed to be married to one another, and if you were honest, you were actually kind of attracted to him and you found his flirty way of things to be fun and you liked it.

“No, you didn’t, like I said, bad day.” You shook your head. “I gotta head to the clinic for some stitches, and if I’m honest, I’m not a huge fan of needles so...."

He frowned “you hurt yourself?”

"Got hung up on a chain link chasing a perp through an alley. Finished the shift with the bandages from the medics, now I gotta take care of it."

"Do you... errr...", he moved out of the way of someone leaving the building and scratched the back of his neck, "do you need a lift up there or something, I got nothing else on."

"I could use a ride, sure," you shrugged, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your lips.

“Okay, well gimme two minutes to grab something out of my locker and I’ll be with you in a second.”

You headed out of the way of the various traffic in and out of the station and perched on the low wall that surrounded the parking lot. True to his word, Diskant emerged a few minutes later, sliding his shades down from his head to his eyes, a bright pink gift bag in his hand and for some inexplicable reason, you felt your heart sink at the sight of the item in his hand, it was clearly for a woman.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” You asked, nodding to it as he stopped in front of you. A smirk crossed his face and a brow arched over the top of his wraparounds.

“Is that your way of asking me if I have a girlfriend?” He quipped and you hastily shook your head, lying through your teeth.

“No, I was just…making conversation. Besides, you might be gay for all I know.” You finished lamely and he snorted.

“Well, I’m not, and it’s for my Mom. It’s her birthday tomorrow and she’s a pain in the ass for finding her presents in my room or wherever I hide them. That and I actually only picked it up yesterday and forgot about it.”

"None of my business." You shrugged and at that he sighed, looking down before he glanced at you, chuckling.

"You asked, sweetheart."

The pet name had you feeling a little warm around your neck. Thankfully, Diskant then led you to his car, the conversation moving swiftly onwards as you explained in a little more detail how you’d gotten your injury. By the time you’d finished you were out of the parking lot and had joined the steady stream of traffic on the main road.

“You should count yourself lucky that it was only your arm.” Paul mused, his thumb tapping the steering wheel. “One of the first shifts I ever did ended with the guy I’d been partnered with straddling a piece of razor-wire.”

“Ouch.” You winced and Paul wrinkled his nose.

“Lot of blood and screaming.” He sniffed. “Mind you, every cloud and all that, he said it would save him and his wife a fortune on a vasectomy.”

You blinked before your mouth fell open in disbelief and you scoffed, shaking your head. “Bullshit.”

“I swear down…”

“Don’t believe you, Disco.”

“Well, I’m offended on two counts. First that you think I’m untrustworthy and second you know that’s not my name.” He shook his head, hanging a right.

You shrugged, “I like it, it suits you.”

“I used to get that all the time at school.” He shrugged, “fucking everyone used to sing that damned D-I-S-C-O song in the halls.”

“Okay, now that’s in my head.” You smirked, and you opened your mouth to sing but he cut you off.

“Just, no.”

You laughed and took a deep breath. “Well, if it makes you feel any better my team call me Panny, short for Panic. On account of the fact I never seem to.”

At that he snorted, “yeah, I’m not calling you that, that’s, fucking awful!”

You let out a low chuckle, “Y/N’s fine.”

“Mind you,” he stole a quick glance at you before his eyes went back to the road. “Panic at the Disco, not a bad band.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled a little. The conversation flowed with little interruption or awkwardness and once you arrived, your time at the clinic seemed relatively fast. You'd figured he'd left as you'd said goodbye to one another when you'd entered the clinic but to your surprise, and catching you a bit off guard, he was still waiting. 

"You didn't have to wait." You smiled at him and he shrugged.

“How else you gonna get back for your car?" His eyes flicked down, noting the clean wound and stitches in your forearm.

“Uber?” You shrugged and he paused, before he took a deep breath.

“Okay, you could have but my mom taught me never to leave a lady in need of help.”

"I was in there for an hour," You chuckled.

“Yeah, and now I’m kinda hungry, are you hungry?"

“Diskant…”

"There's a little place I know where we get some great quick food."

"And if I say no?"

"I'm a gentleman and no is no, I’ll take you back to the lot and you get in your car.” He paused, "and then I'll go home and weep into my pillow as I deal with your rejection."

You laugh loudly, genuinely amused, "fine, take me to dinner."

"Woah, I didn't say anything about dinner. I said food."

"Fine, food, let's get some food."

With a grin he gestured for you to lead the way and you headed out of the medical centre back to his car.

It turns out the place he’d been meaning was the Santa Monica Pier. And the food he had in mind was hot dogs and fries, which suited you absolutely fine.

"Alright, I gotta hand it to you, this is a pretty good hot dog and the beer isn't half bad," You tilted back the drink and smiled. "But, it doesn't beat Coney Island."

"Never been," he shrugged, "so I'll have to take you at your word."

"What else do you take me for? Obviously, you're swindling your way into something."

"I resent that accusation, Y/N."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just suckered me into a date." You teased and he paused, turning to face you. “And, seeing as you said that was what it would take to get you to leave me alone…” “No, this is not a date.” He cut you off, shaking his head.

 “Hmm, just the two of us, you bought me food, pretty sure it counts as a date.” You wrinkled your nose, your tone flirty and Paul shook his head once more.

“Nope. Absolutely not. There’s a vital element missing.”

“What?”

“I haven’t kissed you.” He signed dramatically. “So, I’m afraid that if you want me to count this as a date then you’re gonna have to lay one on me.”

“Oh my God-“ You burst out laughing, “You are-“

“Hey, I don’t make the rules, Y/N!”

“So, to be absolutely clear, if I kiss you this counts as a date?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Well,” You popped a shoulder, stepping a little closer to him, your eyes flicking from his to his lips, “what the hell.”

You brought your lips to his, a littler firmer than you'd thought but the feel of his mouth against yours was soft and in a way delicate and as you began to pull away, his arm looped around your rib cage and pulled you back in for a longer, deeper kiss that if you'd been honest with yourself, made your stomach tilt and your toes curl. The way his tongue dipped into your mouth was delightful, the salty hoppy taste of the beer and fries you were sharing still an essence in his mouth. 

Breathless, you pulled away, “You gonna leave me alone now?”

“Not a chance.” He chuckled and leaned in again for a third kiss. 

"Y/N..." the voice calling out to you was familiar but your head was pounding and nothing but a fog had filtered over you. Tearfully coming out of your memory, you looked up to see Dorothy, Paul's mom standing before you, her husband Jim in the background talking to Sam. 

"Hi," you croaked and stood from your chair. She immediately wrapped her arms around you in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry... I didn't..."

"Its okay, Jimmy called us after Sam had called us both." She tearfully explained. "We came as soon we'd heard." She nodded to James Barnes, Paul's former beat partner who was talking with Jim, Sam and now Steve. 

"Dotty, I... I'm scared." You cried and she took hold of you again. Together you cried until Jim came and hugged you both, his eyes tearful but his demeanour strong. As a force veteran himself, Big Jim Diskant knew all too well how these things could happen but never did he want to believe it'd be his own son wounded in the line of duty. 

Barnes was quick to hand you a tissue and you accepted with a sad, soft smile in thanks. "He's gonna pull through, doll. Just you watch. You can't get rid of him that easy."

Your quivering lip turned to a wobble until you saw the doctor emerge from the double doors that led into the body of the hospital. His scrubs were bloodied and you feared the worst as he called out, "family of Paul Diskant."

The world around you felt like it was moving at a snail's pace, your stomach in your throat as you, Dotty, Jim and those there to comfort you all made their way to the doctor. 

"We've moved him into the ICU. He's critical, however, I'm hard pressed to say stable. He's not out of the woods yet. The bullet hit his carotid artery which supplies the brain, face and neck and while we were able to remove it, he's lost a lot of blood and I feel it's best to keep him medically sedated until some real healing takes place. That's all up to him on how long that will take and how his body works. Unfortunately, until he wakes up, we won’t be able to determine if there will be any long lasting damage due to the loss of blood to the brain. You should know, we nearly lost him once during the procedure and I know he coded twice before arrival. He's a fighter, that's for sure. For now, he just needs time."

"Can we see him?" Dotty asked, the words not able to leave your lips. 

"You can. One at a time," the doctor replied. "ICU rules. I can take the first of you up with me now."

Dotty very quickly turned to you, "go on." You looked at her like a deer in headlights. Jim nodded in agreement with his wife. 

"Follow me," the doctor nodded to go with him and as he did, he handed you a small plastic bag. "We had to cut it off. I'm sorry."

He placed the bag containing Paul's St. Christopher medal in your hand. It was covered in blood, no doubt from what had happened and the weight of it felt heavier than it ever had before in your hand as you joined the good doctor on the lift up.

It had been a month into your relationship when your parents decided to head out for a week trip to New York, your dad making good on his promise to treat your mom for their anniversary. That meant that you and Paul were playing house for the week.

After seeing them off, you'd proudly tidied up and made sure you pampered yourself before your date night to kick the week off. Fridays post shift were usually spent at Jack's but, you were off and Paul and Barnes were already day shift, as if the stars had perfectly aligned for tonight. Your gut was telling you that after a month of heavy, very heavy petting, absolutely breath-taking make out sessions and a few down the pants moments, tonight just might be the night things would change for the two of you. And if not tonight, then hopefully while the two of you were shacked up for the next five days.

A few hours of primping, preening and a ridiculously relaxing bath, setting fire to that very diamonds and pearls side of you, you picked out your nicest lingerie, a little all black set of bra and panties that hid lines well in your selected sleek black dress. Paul had said the two of you were going for a nice dinner, and he promised it was truly a nice dinner, not like the last he'd said was nice and you two laughed your way through burgers at the Beach Hut. He was going to pick you up at five, and you needed to be ready.

Punctual as always, your doorbell rang and there he was, duffle in one hand, flowers for you in the other. He always brought you flowers on your dates and you loved the old fashioned in him that clearly was a product of his parents love story.

You smiled at him from behind red lips and smoky eyes, your hair down and straight. "Hey! Thank you!" You took the outstretched flowers and welcomed him in. 

"Wow," he whispered, getting the full view of you as he stepped inside the doorway. "Sweetheart, you..., wow."

“You said nice... so if you’re taking me to some dive, Disco, when I’m dressed like this there’s gonna be trouble.”

"I promise, it's nice." Dropping his overnight bag next to the stairs, he followed you into the kitchen as you put the flowers in a vase. You turned from the island and his lips were on yours. "You do look beautiful, but if you want to get into trouble, I've got my cuffs in the car." 

You didn't miss the fire in his eyes and the feeling between your legs. “I thought only bad girls get the cuffs?”

"Maybe we should see how bad you can get."

"You're gonna have to feed me first."

“Damn, you drive a hard bargain.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss, fingers scratching at the nape of his neck, "You think that's hard, you should..."

His finger covered your lips, "don't, don't finish that sentence or we'll never make dinner. THAT I can promise."

You smirked and pulled away from him fully, grabbing your hand bag off the entry table, "I'm ready, let's go."

The meal was divine, expensive and rich in place and taste, you dined on steaks and lobsters, Paul pulling out all the stops for such a new relationship and start of a fun weekend. You didn't mind, but you also knew that you'd have been fine with something simple too. 

"You know you didn’t have to spend so much, I’d have laid on my back for a sub," you sighed contently as he drove you two back to yours. 

"Well, in that case, fuck it, next time it's Subway."

"Is that what this was? You buttering me up so I'd sleep with you, Disco?"

“No, that’s...” he stopped and shrugged, “did it work?”

All you did was smirk back at him. From then, until tires skidded into the driveway, Paul drove at lightspeed, making a snarky comment about needing a red light for the dash or wishing he was in his squad car because he couldn't get you home fast enough. You were barely in the door before he was all over you, hands tangled through your hair, you kicking your shoes off at the bottom of the stairs. His strong arms and big hands lifted you off your feet as you clawed at him, your legs wrapping around his slender waist while he carried you up the stairs. It was a mix of breathy sounds and lots of tongue until your back hit the lamp at the landing stair, causing it to tilt, and the bulb to break. 

Shit," Paul cursed against your lips. 

"I'll get that later," you replied, continuing to fight for dominance in your kiss. 

He managed to get you to your room, but your pace slowed down as you entered, the heat lowering to a simmer unlike the two horny teenagers you’d both been in the stairs and hall. Your toes curled into your plush carpet as he set you down. Breathless and chests heaving, you kissed each other softly and slowly as your fingers unbuttoned his shirt, trying to hide your nerves. Your nails raked down the chest of his crisp white tee he wore underneath. You could feel his heart under your palm. 

Your eyes looked into his and you saw deep and beautiful blue pools staring back at you, a soft twitch of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. He took a half breath and his lips covered yours, his tongue slowly rolling over your top lip to pull you in. It made your stomach drop in need, and you wrapped your arms around his neck to close the space between you. 

His big hand splayed over your right ass cheek and held you there against him while the other hand cupped your face. If anyone were to walk in, they'd think you were one person, the two of you were so close to one another. Then you felt his hand trail over the curve of your backside, closer and closer to the start of your zipper. You felt your dress grow looser as he pulled the little metal piece over the teeth of its track. 

His lips trailed over your skin, and you could feel his heart now racing through his pulse point in his neck. Your eyes met his as he pulled away a second, "me too," You whispered.

A breathy chuckle left his lips and you pulled your dress away from your body, allowing the fabric to hit the floor. You felt naked despite the bra and panty set, his gaze taking all of you in. By no means was this your first time with a man, but it was your first time with Paul, and so far, you'd never felt or experienced anything like this and he wasn't even inside you yet. It was like your skin was on fire from the inside out, all of your nerves firing at once, causing everything to tingle and your breath to catch as your heart threatened to leap from your chest. 

His foot stepped between yours and he placed his hands on your hips, gently backing you into the bed, his lips sealing with yours, your hands holding his forearms to steady yourself. His hands cradled you as the two of you fell into the mattress, his body covering yours, his lips traveling down your neck and nipping at that sensitive spot that made your panties pool and your thighs clench. Your hands shoved the material of his button down over his shoulders and, as his lips carried on toward the swell of your breasts, he flung the shirt wherever it landed.

You smirked as he figured out the bra you had on was front closure and with a snap your breasts were freed. 

"Fuck, sweetheart," he said with a tone you'd never heard from him before.

He had his mouth on you before you could reply, your skin flushing and that twist of stomach igniting with pleasure. His hot tongue lolled around your nipple before suckling it between his teeth and giving it a little pull. You moaned as he pulled away, your fingers scratching at his neck. He smirked against your other breast as you arched into him, his free hand running over your hip and behind you to palm your ass as your leg lifted and bent a knee at his hip.

"I....oh God," you purred as his tongue licked and his mouth sucked, alternating between your breasts. "Fuck, I... Paul, please."

He sat back and ripped his shirt over his head, adding it to the pile. You could see he was solid from your foreplay and you knew the size he was packing. Your stomach twisted in anticipation. 

"Please... What?" He said softly as he left hot, wet kisses up the inside of your thigh. "You know, for a trained police officer I would expect you to have a little more self-control, Baby.”

"Shut up..."

He nipped at your thigh, and you moaned obscenely, your muscles twitching. "You gonna tell me what you want?" He nipped again, higher this time. "Or.."

"I need you."

“I asked what you want...”

"Fuck me."

Quickly he was standing, undoing his belt and pants while pulling a condom from his back pocket. You laid there amazed and in awe of the thick muscles of his entire body, the bare chest and tight abs he had on display. You'd seen his thick and full length before, hell, you'd even put your mouth around it but now, all you can think of is how it would feel deep inside you. Your eyes watched him with a hunger you could feel coursing all through you, the way he rolled the latex circle down his shaft and kneeled toward you on the bed. 

He pulled at your panties, peeling them away from your body, your legs lifting to remove them fully. You were soaked as he tested your folds, slicking the head of his cock. It felt so good already, you were squirming by the time his head dipped inside you. He caged you in with his body as he pressed into you little by little until you were both moaning at the perfect fit as he became fully seated inside you. His St. Christopher medal dangled between the two of you as it ghosted across your chest. 

Your hand gripped the medallion as you gave a gentle pull, his lips barely touching yours, "I said fuck me, Diskant." You sealed your words with a hard kiss, nothing but tongue inside his mouth and his hips snapped, again the two of you making lewd sounds as your bodies joined together.

He broke away from your kiss and thrust his hips forward again, slowly pulling out and snapping back in. It was blissful torture, your body experiencing each movement as if it were new. Your walls continuously contracted around him, giving him a pressure around his cock. It was a tight fit, but not painful, not uncomfortable in any way. Your eyes and his never broke away from each other, only lashes kissing cheeks as you would close your eyes for a kiss. 

With a deep, intentional roll of his hips, his lips moved across your jaw and neck, settling near your ear. "I love you," he whispered. 

You gasped as you felt your body react, "Oh fuck!" You moaned, your orgasm coming out of nowhere, tightening around him hard. 

"Fucking hell," Paul moaned as his hips sped up, until he was spasming inside you, his seed filling the barrier. 

He stilled while inside you, pulling out and slipping away with a soft kiss, only to come back cleaned up and pulling the sheet over the two of you. He curled his body around yours, your bare skin against his chest, his hand entwined with yours as his lips kissed your tousled head. "You're amazing."

You turned to look at him with your tired but happy eyes, "did you mean it?" 

A soft smile splayed over his features as his eyes twinkled a bit, understanding exactly what you were referring to. "I was being ironic, as I was, literally loving you." He took a pause and leaned in for a sweet, all lip kiss. "But hypothetically... if I did mean it..." 

You grinned, “then, hypothetically I’d say I love you to."

He chuckled and quickly pecked you again before settling in behind you for sleep. "Good to know."

The bell to the lift beeped and the doors loudly opened, bringing you to the present. It felt like everything took forever since you'd received Captain Biggs' call. You followed the doctor down the hall and after a sharp left, he showed you the doorway to Paul's room. 

As you stepped inside, your heart shattered. The first thing you noticed was how small and pale he looked there in his bed. Paul wasn't a small guy, in fact he was six feet of thick muscle and hard strength. A built frame that loved to wrap itself around you any chance he could. Your firm and well taught body fitting like the perfect piece to him. You swallowed hard as you stepped forward, closer to the edge of his bed. There were so many wires, so many leads hooked up to the various machines that ensured he stayed in his medicinal sleep and keeping him alive. A tube for the ventilator was in his mouth and down his throat while monitoring equipment measured his vitals, IV lines and pumps full of medication surrounded him, a feeding tube was stuck in his nose, and not to mention the various drains and catheters. You found yourself cursing all the episodes of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ the pair of you had watched as you weren't sure if you'd rather not fucking know what the hell they all were. 

Despite the sick symphony of beeps and blips on the screens, the only sound you heard was the sound of his heart rate on its own monitor. A steady, morbid mantra reminding you that he was there but not really there with you. 

Gone were those beautiful blue eyes you loved waking up to each morning or staring deeply into as his pupils, lust blown with deep passion, love and desire stared back you while you made love. Hiding behind an ugly plastic tube were those pearly whites you loved seeing when he smiled or laughed with his whole body, his cheeky grin missing. Silent was the voice that would make your heart skip its beats, your body ignite, that would meet your voice in reply, 'sugar'. 

You held back the sob that was choking you breathless and you sat in the chair beside his bed, facing him. Your warm and soft hand took hold of his, and you were broken at how cold he felt. 

As you looked up for some form of help to the heavens above, your eyes looked back at him and you gave a breathy, shaky sigh, "hey, Stud."

***** Part 3

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//chocolate impressions. akaashi keiji//

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2.8K

Notes: I’m such a simp for Akaashi like hi.  He should not be allowed to be that gorgeous?  Choke me, please. *Single Parent!/Doctor!Akaashi x reader*

*Read Part 2 HERE*

“You’re stressing out over nothing.  It’s not like you’re going to be with him alone,” Akaashi soothes, placing the hand that wasn’t holding onto the steering wheel on your thigh in an attempt to get you to stop bouncing your leg.  

It was the first time that you would be meeting his son, so there was, of course, something to stress over.  What if his son didn’t like you and Akaashi broke up with you?  What if you weren’t cut out to be a step-parent?  What if Akaashi realized that you had no idea what to do around kids and decided that he should find some other woman who did?  Every hypothetical situation ran through your head, finding the worst possible outcome to conclude them all.  You had been worried about this day all week.  Akaashi had invited you to spend the weekend with him. Excited to finally be able to enjoy a peaceful weekend with your boyfriend where he wouldn’t be on call at the hospital, you were quick to agree.  There would be no phone calls in the middle of the night, begging him to come in to assist with a patient.  He would finally be able to get a good night of much needed rest and the two of you could just spend some quality time together.

But your plans for the perfect weekend when you caught sight of his calendar hanging on the side of his refrigerator one night when you were over for dinner.  There was a red circle around Friday and in Keiji’s sloppy script was “My week.”  He must’ve noticed the fall in your disposition, because he pushed the skillet to the back burner and wrapped his arms around your waist, a hum as he rested his chin on your shoulder being the only question.

“I didn’t realize that your son was going to be here too this weekend.”

“I hope you don’t mind, but he’s important to me.  I don’t want to move things further with you until he has a chance to meet you.”  

There was a pause in which you couldn’t think of anything to say.  Move things further.  The fact that he saw you in his future made your heart skip a little in your chest.  This weekend was important to him and to your future together, so you were going to try your best not to disappoint.  

“You’re going to have to cancel any plans that  . . . aren’t exactly PG,” he whispers, a soft kiss placed at the base of your neck.

“Damn, so we can’t play Smash Bros?”

You can feel his chest shake against your back as he laughs quietly to himself.  “No.  No, Smash Bros. until he’s back at Akiyo’s.”

The car slows down to a stop as Akaashi pulls into the driveway of his ex-wife’s house.  He hides a small yawn in the sleeve of his scrubs, climbing out of the car.  Not sure what to do, you stay in your seat.  Were you invited inside?  His ex-wife had never met you so maybe- no.  

“Are you coming in?” Keiji asks, giving you a bemused look.

“Am I allowed to?”

“Am I allowed to,” he mocks.  There’s a playful eye roll as he shuts his door.  You watch him walk, anticipating him to head towards the front door, but the passenger door opens and he’s holding out his hand for you.  “Come on, princess.  Let’s go.”

You follow him up the front steps, your anxiety returning as he rings the doorbell.  He gives your hand a firm squeeze as his thumb runs over your knuckles.  “You’ll be okay,” he whispers as footsteps on the other side of the door become audible.  

The door swings open to reveal his ex-wife, a polite smile on her perfectly painted lips.  “Katashi’s just getting his school stuff together.  Come in.”  Akiyo steps out of the way to let you both in and leads you both to the kitchen.  “Can I get you anything?  Tea? Water?”

“No, we’re fine.  Thank you.”

She nods, sitting down at the table across from you.  “I didn’t realize that she’d be with you,” Akiyo states as if you weren’t even there in the first place. 

“Is that a problem?”

“No.  You’re allowed to bring whoever you want into your life, Keiji.”

The quickly growing tension in the air causes the environment to go quiet as the ex-spouses try to refrain from getting into a hostile argument.  Keiji’s face carries his signature frown.  You can’t remember the last time that you’ve seen him annoyed enough to look this bored with another person.  His hands are clasped tightly together on the table in front of him, his steady stare trained on his ex-wife.  Her lips fell from their polite smile and have settled into a look of distaste, hands wrapped around a steaming mug, knuckles white as her grip tightens.

This is awkward.

The steady sound of feet running down the stairs is enough to break the tension.  Keiji stands up from his chair as a boy, probably no more than eight, races through the doorway, instantly running straight into the open arms of his father.  “Dad!”

“It’s good to see you too,” Akaashi says, laughter bubbling in his chest as he runs his hand through the messy black curls on his son's head.  “We’re ready to go home whenever you are.”

“Okay!” Katashi runs over to his mom, throwing his arms around her in a quick hug, a “Bye, Mom!” leaving his mouth as he excitedly runs to the front door, his backpack bouncing against his back with every step.  

“I’ll see you next week,” Akaashi says, waving politely to his ex-wife, following his son to the door.  

“Thank you for the hospitality,” you say, putting on your best smile for her before joining the boys at the door, bickering back and forth at each other before they even have a chance to step outside.  

“Well, I don’t see how it’s fair that you get a head start.”

“You’re older, so you have to be faster!” 

“I don’t think that’s how speed works,” Akaashi argues, his hands on his hips as he stares down at his son.  “Besides, these shoes put me at a total disadvantage!”

“Then take them off!”

“But, then I have to come all the way back here to get my shoes!”

“I get a three second headstart.  Take it or leave it,” the little boy huffs, holding out his hand for his father to shake.

“Deal.  Y/N, will you hold my shoes?”  Before you even have the chance to object, Akaashi is taking his shoes off and handing them to you.  He shakes Katashi’s outstretched hand and the two get in position at the back of the porch.  “First one to get in the car wins.”

“Hey, miss! Will you start us?” Katashi asks, turning to look at you.

“Uh, sure.  Yeah, I can do that.  On your mark . . . get set . . .” The boys get down in a track starting position.  “Go!”

You hear Keiji counting to himself before running off to catch up with the younger boy who is already almost to the car.  But, his old high school athleticism kicks in and he has little problem closing the distance.  You hear hands slam against the car mere seconds apart.  

“I win!” Katashi shouts, beaming at his father.

“I distinctly remember saying first to get in the car wins.  You’re not in the car.”  Katashi tugs on the handle only to find his door locked as Akaashi twirls the keyring on his finger.  “Wow.  That’s rough, buddy,” Akaashi says, unlocking his own door.  

Katashi sees his slim window of opportunity and jostles Akaashi out of the way, sliding into the driver seat.  There’s a smug smile on his face.  “Now, I win.”

Akaashi’s mouth falls open and he just turns to look at you, a silent plea to help him out in his eyes, but you can’t do anything but laugh.  “It’s not his fault that you were slow, Keiji.”

“That’s not fair.”

Katashi just shakes his head in disappointment.  “That’s rough, buddy.”

You try to hold back your giggles as Akaashi shoots you a soft glare.  “He’s got your sass!”

Katashi crawls into the backseat so his father can get in the front seat next to you.  “So, are you my dad’s girlfriend?”  He asks, buckling his seatbelt.

“Yeah, I am.  I’m Y/N.  It’s really great to finally meet you.  Your dad has told me a lot about you.”

“Oh, okay.”  He sits back in his seat as Akaashi pulls out of the drive, heading in the direction of his own house.  “What are we going to do this weekend?”

“Depends.  Do you have homework?” Akaashi asks, looking at Katashi in the rearview mirror.  

Katashi begins to shift in his seat and refuses to meet his father’s eyes.  “Well, not exactly. . .”

“Katashi,” he warns.

“I have extra lessons,” the boy sighs in defeat.  

“Math again?”

“Yeah. . .  I can’t help it! I don’t understand division.”

Keiji sighs heavily.  This had been the last thing he had wanted to do this weekend, but it needed to be done.  “We’ll work on it after dinner, okay?”

“Yessir.”  Katashi slinks down in his seat, staring at his shoes as his cheeks flare up.

You turn around in your seat to look at the boy in the back seat.  “I used to get extra lessons all the time.”

He looks up at you, almost startled that an adult would say something like that.  You can see his eyes had begun to water, upset that he had disappointed his father.  “Really?”

“Yeah.  I was really bad at math so my teacher sent extra work home all the time.  I just had to find what kind of studying worked best for me and I eventually caught up to everyone else.  You’ll get there too.”

Keiji takes his eyes away from the road momentarily to shoot you a look of confusion.  “You never told me that you had extra lessons.”

“Oh, sorry.  I must have left ‘given supplementary lessons in second grade’ out of my Tinder bio.”

He lightly punches your shoulder.  “And you call me sassy.”

“You are!”

“You are pretty sassy,” Katashi agrees.

“I did not invite you over so you could turn my own son against me,”  Akaashi says, mock betrayal etching his voice as he pulls into his driveway.

Once inside, Katashi immediately nestles himself on the couch, the television remote in his hands so he can watch cartoons.  Keiji follows you into the kitchen, setting his briefcase down on the counter and hanging up his jacket.  He can’t even bother to change out of his scrubs before slumping down into one of the dining chairs, the exhaustion of a long work week finally taking over him.  

In a matter of minutes, a steaming cup of tea is set down in front of him.  A soft sigh escapes his lips as your hands make contact with his shoulders, massaging the tired muscles.  “We could just order in tonight, if you want,” you say, watching Keiji’s form relax as you continue to release the tension from his body.  He only nods in response.  “You want your usual?”  Another nod.  

“Katashi likes the Miso one,” he mutters, further melting into your touch.

“Okay.  Why don’t you go take a nap?  I’ll get you up when it’s here.”

He shakes his head, sipping his tea.  “I’m fine.  I’m just going to take a shower.”  He gets out of his seat slowly, tired eyes hiding behind a small smile.  “Thank you.”  Keiji places a soft kiss on your lips before wandering off to the bathroom.

You slump down on the couch with Katashi, the take out menu and your phone in your hands.  “Are we getting take-out?!” He asks, scooting towards you to look over your shoulder.  

“Yeah.  Your dad’s really tired tonight, so we’re just going to order ramen.  Is that okay with you?”

Katashi nods.  “I like that one,” he says, pointing to one of the pictures on the little menu pamphlet.

“That’s what I always get too.”  You smile at him, dialing the number of the restaurant to place the order.  “Okay. . . Yes, that’s correct. Thank you!”  You say, hanging up the phone before turning to the boy on the couch who has, at this point, completely invaded any and all of your personal space.  “Thirty minutes.”

“Is that enough time to finish my lessons?”

“I don’t know.  Probably.  But, I thought your dad was going to help you after dinner?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

Your eyebrows furrowed together.  “What kind of secret?”

“He’s a really bad teacher,” Katashi whispers in your ear, making you giggle slightly.  Who knew that Dr. Akaashi Keiji was terrible at explaining basic math principles?  Honestly, you weren’t surprised.  His mind was so flooded with fancy medical words and the obvious secret doctor scheme to make any written prescription completely unreadable that he struggled to explain things in simpler terms when it was needed.

“Your secret is safe with me.  Go get it and I’ll see if I can help.”

Katashi runs off down the hall and returns a little later with a piece of paper and a pencil.  He sits himself down at the kitchen table and waits for you to join.  Rather than immediately sitting down, you start rummaging through the cabinets.  “What are you doing?” He asks as you start pouring chocolate chips onto a plate.

“This is how I learned how to divide.  We can always see if this helps you too.”  You sit down next to him, placing the plate down in front of him.  “Okay.  Number one.  36 divided by four.” Katashi watches as you place 36 chocolate chips in front of him.  “So, let’s think about it like this.  You have 36 chocolate chips that need to be divided evenly between you and three friends.  Four people.  We’re going to start by giving each person one chocolate chip.”  You push one chocolate chip to four different spots in front of him.  “But, we still have more, right?  So, let’s give everyone another chocolate chip.” 

Katashi adds one chip to each pile.  “Do I add more?”

“Why do you add more?”

“Because I still have some here?” He says, unsure of himself.  

“That’s right!  Go ahead and divide the rest out.”

Katashi nods, pushing chocolate chips into piles until all 36 have been evenly separated into four piles.  “Is that right?”

“Yes!  Very good.  Okay, so how many chocolate chips did each person get?”

You watch as Katashi counts the pieces of chocolate in each pile.  “Nine.”

“So, what’s 36 divided by four?”

“Nine.”

“Exactly.  And it works backwards too.  You have four groups of nine so how many chocolate chips are here in total?”

“36.”

“That’s right.  You’re already better at math than I was.  Let’s move on to number two.  18 divided by 6.”  You count out 18 chocolate chips and move the rest to the side.

“Everyone gets one. . .  There’s still some left, so they all get another one. . . And another one.  Three!”

“Very nice, Katashi!”  

“Division is so easy.”  He takes one of the chips and puts it in his mouth.  “And delicious.”

“See?  You just had to find what worked for you.”

“You’re pretty good at this math stuff.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that, but thank you.”

The minutes on the clock tick by as chocolate chips continue to be divided into various piles.  Katashi is lost in thought as he tries to divide 24 by three.  A pair of hands come to rest on your shoulders, causing you to jump at the sudden contact.  You gaze up into Akaashi Keiji’s smiling eyes.  “Hey,” he whispers, damp hair causing droplets of water to slide down his face.  You watch his face twist from soft happiness into pure bewilderment.  “Why are there melted chocolate chips everywhere?”

“We’re dividing!” Katashi exclaims, using his chocolate covered fingers to scoot around his division tools.

“Katashi, I told you that I’d help you after dinner.”

“Y/N helped me instead,” he shrugged, writing down the answer onto his paper and moving onto the next problem.

Keiji looked down at you and shook his head.  “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind.  Besides, now we have more time to kick your butt at Mario Kart later.”

“You’re totally going down, but okay.”

“Hey, Dad?” Katashi asks, not looking up from his hard work.

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to marry Y/N?  Because I really like her and I think you should get married to her.”

“Well, I’m glad you really like her, because I really like her too.”  Keiji reaches for your hand, giving it a loving squeeze.  He brings it to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on your ring finger.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Dramatic

*Not my Gif*

Request: Can you do 5 and 13 with Peter Parker please? Ps I LOVE THE PROMPTS YOU'VE BEEN WRITING

5. “You can’t save me, I’m already dead.”

13. “You left me when I needed you the most.”

Requested By: @flower-power-at-its-finest

Post Date: 7-6-19

Paring: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

~Prompt List~

~Master List~

Requests are closed

You felt the bullet rip through your skin as fell of the small height of the building into the smaller building below you. It wasn’t a tall fall, being only 25 feet, but the impact of the ground hurt. You landed on your left leg, painfully bent a wrong way as you tried to move, groaning as Peter swung next to you.

“Y/N!! Are you okay? We gotta get you out of here!” He yelled as he tried to pick you up. You groaned as his hand landed right on your newest bullet injury, which thankfully wasn’t as bad since the bullet wasn’t in you.

“You can’t save me, I’m already dead.” You threw your head back, closing your eyes as played dead. You hated getting hurt, Tony always overreacted and said you weren’t allowed on a mission again and you always sported a new cast or bandage. Peter was always there to make you feel better, like right now. Peter moves his hand as he took a look at your left arm and the blood running onto his hand.

“You done now?” He mused, smirking as you smiled up at him. You met his eyes, unable to hold back the giggles as your boyfriend towered over you, hands on his knees while shaking his head. His mask was gone long ago and you couldn’t help the thoughts going through your head at how cute he was looking.

“Yeah. Help me up!” You groaned as you tried to sit up only to crash back down. You didn’t know how much pain your leg was giving you until you tried to move it, to focused on the boy in front of you.

“You’re so dramatic.” He joked as he checked the fight around you both. Tony was flying through the sky shooting down anyone he needed as Natasha kept you two covered, making sure no one hurt you even more. Wanda was helping her as she used her powers to do whatever, not really paying attention as the girl is doing way to many things at once.

“Well I just don’t get why people insist on shooting me!”

“You do realize you’re hold a gun right.” You went silent as you looked down at your hand. Knuckles clasped around the handle of a gun that has been recently fired. You kept your eyes down as Peter laughed at you still unaware of the real pain you have.

“Shut up! And where were you? You were supposed to be with me!” You yelled, trying to hide your smile at what you know you’re going to do to him.

His smile dropped as he took in your words. “I was with Mr. Stark!”

“You left me when I needed you the most.” You interrupted him. His head dropped as he ran a hand through his hair, obviously huffing in annoyance.

“... I thought you were done with this.” You sat up on your right elbow, holding your left arm to your chest. You gave him a cheeky smile.

“I know but I’m in pain and being sarcastic helps. Also I think I broke my leg. Please help me.” Peters face dropped as he finally looked at your leg, suit torn as the leg bent.

“Oh right! How are you not in pain?” He quickly asked as he scooped you up in his arms. You frowned and thought back on all the ‘training’ you were given in hydra. Being taken when you were younger and taught to take pain made you stronger, but at the same time it changed you so much and you hated it. Peter noticed your silence before realizing it was your past.

“Practice.” You shrugged as you laid your head on Peter, choosing to not look at the broken limb. He felt his heart drop as he looked at you. You always seemed so strong and a force to be reckoned with, but when ever you thought about your past it made you quiet, as if you were trying your hardest to hide yourself. Peter brought you to the jet as the everyone else followed, finishing the mission. Peter grabbed a hold of your hand as he pulled you into him more. You didn’t mind, Peter’s lap was one of your favorite places to be. The ride back was filled with Tony yelling at you for not being careful as you nodded, not really paying attention until he stopped, shoulders falling as he look at the pained kid in front of him. Back at the compound, Peter took you to the doctor before going to the debrief, not wanting to leave you but you made him. As soon as Peter came back to the hospital wing, you were the first thing he saw.

“I missed you.” He cooed as you blushed. Peter loves the red tint in your face, always priding himself when he makes it appear.

“Oh shut up and cuddle me. I’m stuck in bed rest for a week before I can even move.” You pouted as Peter hoped up onto the bed, careful not to hurt your arm or leg. You let him shift you into his lap as you leaned your back onto his chest, listening to the the variety of beeps in the room when you followed your eyes. His breathing blended into yours, both of your chests rising and falling at the same pace. You could get lost in his breaths, addicted to the feeling.

“Babe, are you wearing my hoodie?” He whispered into your ear as you came back into reality. You didn’t even have to look down, you knew you were wearing it.

“Yeah... it’s cozy...” you snuggled into the sweatshirt, pulling the sleeves tight around your body as Peter guffawed underneath you.

“When did you grab it?” He threw his arms around you as you tried to grab them over the fabric. Peter kept laughing as he stared at you wrapped up in his blue hoodie, he loved it when you wore his clothes, he thought you always looked so cute in them.

You bit your bottom lip as finally managed to grab his hand.

“After the doc stitched me up, Wanda came down asking if I wanted anything. I told her I was fine but I think she might’ve read my mind because 5 minutes later she came down with your sweatshirt in hand. Hope you don’t mind.” You mumbled as you let go of his hand. The hand that you once held found its way to your chin as he pulled your face up to meet his. You quickly started to kiss back before he ran his tongue over your bottom lip asking permission before your lips parted, letting him continue. You love his kisses. You love his sweatshirt. You love him.

When you separated, Peter pulled you back so his chest pressed against you, hand intertwined with his as he looked at your wound.

“I’m fine Pete. Let’s just get some rest.” He nodded at your suggestion and you both pulled your blanket up to your necks, snuggling into each other even more as you fell asleep.

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED!!

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO ANY TAGLISTS!! (Specify which ones please!)

Permanent taglist: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @saturn-aka-six @nathaliabakes @whyamihere-bro @colored-confetti

[curiousdamage]

Drabble Post ? Lost count

#94: “I Won’t Lose You Too.”

Fandom: Karate Kid - Becca-verse

Pairing: John Kreese/ Terry Silver (Platonic)

Life in the war is hard.  It’s even harder when you lose those you love.

Warning: Death mentioned.

1966

Cara read the name on the chart. Twice. She smiled as she walked over to the bed. She'd seen the picture that John kept in his pocket of a smiling boy standing next to a horse. He was older, for sure. Taller and more filled out, but those eyes were the same.

"Hi, Soldier," she said, softly, so as not to wake the other soldiers around him.

"Hi," he whispered hoarsely, putting a hand to his throat, confused.

"It's a side effect of surgery," she explained. "It's from the breathing tube we use during the procedure. The bad news is that the sore throat lasts a few days, the good news is that you're going to be fine. The doctors were able to remove all the shell fragments and fix your leg. A few weeks of taking it easy and you'll be right as rain.”

"That sounds good," he smiled, those dimples creasing his cheeks. "Too bad I had to get shot to get a break.” 

"Let me know how it works out," she returned his smile. "I might consider it. Here. Have some water." She helped him sit up and held a cup to his lips.

"Thank you, ma'am."

“Do you have a brother named, John, Private Kreese?"

"Yes, ma'am," he smiled, with pride. "He's a Green Beret." His smile faded. "Wait, he hasn't been here, has he?"

"Not in your position, no," she answered. "Some of his men were wounded. He came in to visit them a few times."

“And Johnny Ray made an impression, I see,"

"Johnny Ray?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no," he groaned. "You didn't know that was his name, did you? He thinks 'John' makes him sound more grown-up. He always had to be more grown-up. I guess he needed a name to match."

"Get some rest, Soldier," she smiled, helping him lay down. "We'll talk more in the morning."

As soon as her shift was over, she raced to the Cobra Kai’s tent.

"Oh, hush," she replied to the groans and complaints. "I've helped operate on most of you. There's nothing here that I haven't seen before." She held out her hand. "Come with me, Johnny Ray, I have a surprise for you."

"Oooh!"

"Don't make me hurt you all," he glared around the tent, then looked at Cara. "What did you just call me?"

"Come with me, Johnny Ray," she grinned, again.

"Been reading medical charts?" he questioned.

"Just put your boots on and follow me, huh?" She rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

“Okay, okay. Damn, you're bossy," he said, lacing up his boots.

"Good thing you like that," she smirked. She led him over to the hospital.

He stopped short seeing the boy in the third bed. His mouth went dry and his breathing became barely discernable.

"Relax," Cara said, taking his hand. "He's going to be okay. He took some shell fragments to his leg. We were able to remove them. A few weeks in bed, some antibiotics, he will be just fine and have an awesome scar to show the girls back home."

"Will he get to go home?"

"It's not serious enough for that, unfortunately," she replied.

"Damn." He kissed the top of her head. "Thanks, Babe." He walked over to the bed and held the younger man's hand. "Hey, Twerp. Thought I told you to quit following me. You always get hurt and I always get blamed," he grinned.

"What I never understood was, if you knew I was just gonna try to follow you and get hurt, why you didn't just take me with you, to begin with?" the boy smiled as he opened his eyes. "Johnny Ray!"

For just a moment, Cara saw the boy that John had been before the Army and war had forced him to grow up too fast as the brothers grabbed each other in a hug.

"Well, the good news is, I don't think they can blame this one on you," Timmy laughed as they pulled apart.

"Oh, don't worry, they'll find a way," John smiled in return. "Damn, it's good to see you. I've missed you, kid."

----

1968

"So, where's that pretty nurse this time?" Timmy asked, lifting his beer to his lips.

"She's stateside," John replied.

"That's too bad," he lamented. "She seemed crazy about you.”

“You think?"

He nodded. "Like you didn't know that. You keep in touch?”

"Kind of have to," he smirked.

“Yeah? Why's that? You knock her up or something?”

"Well, yeah," he said, again, smirking.

"What?! No way," Timmy laughed.

"Yep," he grinned. "She traded her boots for booties.”

“You're pulling my leg again, aren't you? Trying to see what you can get your gullible baby bro to believe?"

"Not this time, Timmy," He reached for his pocket pulling out a photograph.

“Are you serious? I'm an Uncle? Get out of here!” 

"A little girl. Rebecca Anne. She's four months old now," he smiled, turning the picture around proudly.

"Damn!" He laughed, taking the photo. "Can't deny this one. She looks just like you."

"I think so, too."

"Man, you are someone's Daddy," he laughed, then pushed him playfully. "You're really a dad! How weird is that?"

John laughed, “It's pretty cool. I mean, I haven't actually seen her and I don't know when or if I ever will, but just something about…, knowing she and the hot nurse are waiting for me back home, it makes it easier to get through the days."

Tim nodded solemnly, squeezing his brother's shoulder.

"You'll make it home to your girls and if the hot nurse…,"

“Cara."

"What?"

"The hot nurse. Her name is Cara," he explained.

"Okay, if Cara still wants your stubborn ass, you two will have a whole houseful of kids. And Uncle Timmy will move in next door and teach them the important things in life. Like how to annoy you. I'll keep them hopped up on ice cream and soda. I'll be the best Uncle ever!" He looked at the picture again. “She is…, she’s beautiful, Johnny Ray.”  He sobered a bit.  “Have you told the folks?”

“I wrote them a letter,” he shrugged.  

“Oh, that should go over well,” Tim scoffed.  “You didn’t call them?”

“Like that’s an argument I want to have while having to scream ‘over’ every five words,” he retorted.  “Besides, I don’t want Dad…, being Dad about it and I’ll get pissed off and I just don’t want that.”

“Hey, it’s a grandbaby and a pretty one at that,” he shrugged.  “All parents want those.  Even Dad.”

“Won’t take that chance,” he shook his head.  

“Yeah, I get it,” Timmy agreed.  “Just think about it. Dad will be an asshole, but Mom will be thrilled. She deserves a call.”

“I’ll think about it,” John replied. “When do you ship out again?”

“Two days, you?” Tim took another sip of his beer and slipped the photo in his pocket.

“Not sure and I saw that.  Give me back my picture,” he grinned, holding out his hand.

“Oh, come on,” Timmy wheedled.  “She’s my niece.  Let me have it.”

“No.  It’s the only one I have. You’re not snaking my only picture of my daughter.”

“She’s my niece.  Your hot nurse will send you another,” Timmy laughed.

“Yeah, in six months, when the mail catches up with me again,” he replied, snatching the picture and putting it in his pocket, fending off Tim’s attempts to get it back.

“You’re still no fun, Johnny Ray,” he pouted.  

“Tell you what, next time the mail catches up to me, if there is another picture of Becca, I’ll give you this one,” John promised.  

“Then I’ll want the newest one,” he smirked.  “But I guess that’ll have to do.”

_________

“Kreese, I need to speak to you,” the base commander approached him as the unit was returning.  

He sighed.  What he really wanted was to sleep.  Not go over endless questions and paperwork with the Commander.  “Can’t it wait until I get a shower and a cup of coffee, Major?”

“Not this time, Son,” he shook his head.  

“Just go ahead then,” he sighed again.

The Major looked down and seemed to be having a hard time finding his words.  “Your brother, Private Timothy Kreese was brought into the hospital…, his wounds were too serious.  I’m sorry, John.  He didn’t make it.” He held out a set of dog tags.

John took them in a daze, still not believing it, as his soldiers crowded around to show their sympathy and support.

“His body is still in processing, if you’d like to pay your respects.”

“Thank you, Major,” John said, barely above a whisper. He swallowed hard, then turned to his men.  “Go ahead and get cleaned up, get some grub, you know what to do. I’ll…, um…, I’ll check in in a bit.”

“You want someone to go with you, Captain?” Racine asked.

“No,” he shook his head.  “You all need to rest.  They’ll probably send us back out first thing in the morning.  Take the time while you can.”

“Cap, we don’t mind,” another spoke up.  

“That’s an order,” Kreese replied.  “Racine, you’re in charge.”

“Yes, sir.”

He walked towards the makeshift morgue.  

“Oh, Timmy,” he sighed, finding the right table.  He pulled the sheet back.  He looked so young.  Too young to be there.  Too young to be gone.  “You weren’t supposed to be here.  I’m sorry. I was supposed to protect you.  I…, I’m sorry I left.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there.  I’m sorry I wasn’t here…,” he wiped his eyes.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better brother.  Maybe if I had…, let you take care of yourself more…, you…, well, it’s too late now.”

He fell silent, standing next to his brother.  At some point, he became aware of a tall figure standing guard in the doorway.  He should have known that Silver wouldn’t listen, even to direct orders.  He’d deal with that later.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, but when the light started showing through the door, he finally said goodbye.  

“I’ll call Mom. You were right.  She deserves a call.” He leaned down, putting his head against his brother’s forehead. “I love you, kid.” Just before pulling the sheet back up, he took the picture of Becca from his pocket and slipped it in Timmy’s pocket. “You would have been the greatest Uncle.”

He was surprised to see Silver still standing guard, though now he was more leaning against the doorway than standing in it. He hadn’t said a word all night.  That had to be some type of record.

“Come on, Silver,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder.  “Let’s get back to training.  I won’t lose you too.”

[santoteez]

In The Bronx- Hongjoong (2)

Part: 2 of (?)

Read Part 3 HERE!

Genre: Drugdealer!Hongjoong, Drugdealer! SeonghwaAU, Smut, Slight Angst, Eventual Fluff

Word Count: 2.7k

Requested: no

Warnings: MC is a black female, mentions of drugs, Use of guns and explicit language, Daddy kink, face sitting, unprotected sex (wrap your whopper before you top her), creampie, aggressive force, slight praise kink

NOTE: This fic does NOT, in any way, shape, or form, portray the way I view any member of Ateez nor does it depict their true personalities or actions. This AU is just that. An AU.

Night had fallen, and just like any other Hongjoong said goodnight to his brother and told him to make sure the door was locked on his way out. He walked to the train station, knowing Minjoon was watching from the window. He claimed he preferred to take the train to work rather than his car. Once he was out of view, he turned the corner and headed to the not-so abandoned warehouse down the road. There, Seonghwa waited for him. Together they entered the warehouse from the side door in the alley. From the outside, it just looked like an ordinary rundown building. On the inside, it was everything but. There were several stations, each equipped with an electric burner, Ziploc bags, pots, and everything else needed for successful packaging. There were already men hard at work at every station. Kilos and kilos of product were lined up against the walls, and there were lookouts posted at every entrance.

Hongjoong was greeted by workers as he passed each station, observing and inspecting for errors. One by one, he gave orders to each one.

“That one’s too full. It’s a dime bag, not a dollar.”

“Speed it up over here, we need at least 100 from this table by the end of the hour.”

“Did you let that powder dry before bagging it up? You got me in trouble last time.”

Hongjoong and Seonghwa headed to the office in the back. It wasn’t much, just an old desk and a few chairs. Hongjoong set his bag on the floor by the door and made his way to the desk, while Seonghwa sat in one of the chairs.

“Minjoon’s carrying that football team on his back, I see.” Seonghwa watched as Hongjoong retrieved some paperwork, presumably from vendors.

Hongjoong smiled. “That’s my boy.”

Seonghwa nodded. “Headed to college. You ready?”

“Damn right I am. The minute he sets up his dorm I’m getting myself out of this shit. You of all people know this ain’t for me.”

“And how exactly do you, the KINGPIN, plan to just waltz the fuck out of here?”

Hongjoong shrugged. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, we have a vendor that has yet to send us our supply. You know the drill.”

Seonghwa got up and lifted a large painting off the wall, revealing a safe. Opening it, he retrieved two guns, both fully loaded. He tossed one to Hongjoong before tucking the other in his waistband.

“Let’s roll.”

They alerted all the lookouts of their plans before hopping into one of the unmarked cars parked outback. They drove in silence to the next town over in search of the coca leaf supplier. They turned off their headlights as they pulled into the driveway.

“Remember, we’re just going in to have a conversation. No guns unless they turn on us first.” Hongjoong said, turning the car off.

Seonghwa nodded, hopping out the passenger seat. “Just talk. Got it.”

They made their way to the back of the house quietly, knowing the supplier tended to the plants in his backyard. Without a doubt, there he was, alongside his twin brother, harvesting the plants.

“I hope those are going towards our shipment, Nunu. Daedae, nice to see you here as well.” Hongjoong said, leaning against the fence. The brothers looked up, wide-eyed, before running into the house.

Hongjoong sighed. “See, this is what I was trying to avoid.” He said, hopping over the fence, Seonghwa right behind him.

Hongjoong knocked on the glass door. “Listen, guys. I’m not here to cause harm. You know that. Why would anyone wanna harm the Coca Twins? I just wanna know where my shipment is. It should’ve arrived last week. You think someone like Cutthroat from Harlem would let this shit slide for a week? Ray-Ray from Bed-Stuy would’ve been raided this place. I’m out here trying to be a hospitable motherfucker, and you run from me and close the door.” He said, in a deathly calm voice. “You wanna come open the door? Because I’m coming in one way or the other, but I’d you let me in yourself.”

When his words were met with silence, Hongjoong gave Seonghwa the signal and ran into the glass shoulder first. Seonghwa pulled his gun from his waistband, walking closely behind Hongjoong as the glass shattered.

“HJ, man, we just need a little more time. We backed up right now.” Nunu’s shaky voice said from behind the couch.

“Should’ve told me that before you took my money. You know who Paul J. Meyer, Nunu? How bout you Daedae?” He asked and continued when neither answered. “Paul J. Meyer is the pioneer of the self-improvement industry. Self-help books started with him. He has a say that goes ‘Communication- the human connection- is the key to personal and career success.’ Meaning, if you communicate, you’ll be successful. And if you don’t? You’ll end up behind a couch shaking and fearing for your life because a kingpin you tried to scam is standing in your living room.” Hongjoong laughed to himself.

“Bro, we just need more time to-” Daedae started.

“I’m not your fucking bro. In case you forgot, I’m HJ. That’s Dragon.” Hongjoong pointed to Seonghwa. “Fuck more time. I want my product now. Lord knows you already spent the money I gave you. It’s only fair isn’t it?” Hongjoong turned to see Nunu’s hand reaching under the couch. Within seconds, Hongjoong’s pistol was off his waist and pointed at Nunu. Immediately, there was a gun put at Hongjoong’s head by Daedae.

“You think you’re the only one that stays packin?” Daedae laughed, quickly silenced by the sound of Seonghwa’s gun being cocked by his ear.

“Maybe not, but we’re the only ones man enough to shoot.” Seonghwa said, his voice dangerously low.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen. Daedae’s bitch ass is gonna set the gun down and you’re both gonna sit on the couch, turn on the TV and watch it like nothing ever happened. While Dragon and I take the product you owe us. Easy, right? Just mind your neck, and you get to keep it. Comprende?”

Hongjoong didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he headed out after Seonghwa. They collected the plants from the garden and ran to the car, speeding out the driveway and down the block.

Upon their return to the warehouse, Hongjoong called over two of his best workers, Mitch and Carlos.

“Make sure these plants have space to grow and are taken care of. After that, hit the streets. There’s money to be made.”

“You got it, boss. Let’s go C.” Mitch said, already moving the plants near a window.

When everything was all set up, everyone except for the lookouts headed out to sell. Hongjoong knew he didn’t have to run the streets as kingpin, but he feels everyone should work all positions. On occasions, He and Seonghwa even worked as lookouts. He trained his crew to be well rounded.

They returned to the warehouse at dawn to package any product that wasn’t sold and store their earnings for the night.

“You did good tonight, guys. We made a lot. As usual, Seonghwa is my proxy for the weekend and will oversee any decisions in my place. Stay safe, and I will be back Monday.” Hongjoong said, walking down the street. It was Friday, meaning it would be difficult to hide his job with Minjoon heading out to parties and hangouts and popping up at different hours of the night.

Hongjoong stood at the train station, knowing Santana would pop up any minute to go to work.

Santana appeared about half an hour later, a smile on her face.

“You don’t have to wait for me all the time, you know. You barely sleep as it is.”

“I do sleep! I’m heading to sleep right now. And I doze off every now and again in the office.”

Santana shook her head. “You have to sleep more than that, baby.”

Hongjoong pulled her in by the waist. “Come over later, I’d sleep better with you there.” He pleaded.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t wanna scar Minjoon anymore.”

“He’ll be okay. Plus, there’s this party in Bed-Stuy. Some football player’s parents are gone for the weekend. He’ll barely be there.”

Santana tapped her chin. “Hmmm, alright. I get off work early today, so I’ll just let myself in while you’re sleeping.”

“Day off AND early leave? I should become a fashion designer too.”

She giggled. “And design what? Crackhead chic?”

“Feens gotta dress too. Why you hatin’?”

She shook her head, walking up the steps. “You are something else. I’ll see you later.”

Hongjoong shamelessly watched her ascend. He admired the sway of her hips, the way her skirt hugged her waist just right. The rich, deep brown color of her legs

“Go get some sleep, you perv.” She shouted from the top, to which Hongjoong smirked before walking away. He walked up the block to his building, where Minjoon was already standing.

“What I told you bout standing around like that? 12 gon think you’re looking for trouble.”

“Good morning to you, too. I wasn’t standing for long. I just figured I’d stand outside so you could just hurry back. You have to rest.”

“You sound like Santana. Get in the car, snotface.”

Once he made it back from dropping Minjoon off, Hongjoong fell into the sectional couch face-first into a deep sleep. He slept for hours until he heard the door unlock. He knew Minjoon was leaving school straight to Brooklyn, so it was either Seonghwa looking for something or Santana. He smiled when he saw perfectly pedicured toes come into view, confirming it was the latter. He felt the couch shift at the far end, indicating she had sat down.

He outstretched his arms. “C’mere.”

She sucked her teeth. “Stay asleep. Imma sit here.”

“I woke up the minute you put the key in the lock. Come lay with me”

She crawled her way up his body, resting her head on his bare chest, his arms wrapping around her waist.

“I wanna spend more time with you, HJ.” She said, her voice barely a whisper.

“I know, I’m working on it.” He said.

“You’re too smart for this kingpin shit, HJ.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious.” She rested her chin on his chest to look at him. “You could’ve easily graduated high school, and yet, you scored the highest on the GED test. Don’t you wanna go back to school? Remember telling me how much you love music production? All those beats you showed me? The ones that you released under that alias? The ones that went VIRAL? You can go back to school and perfect your craft.”

Hongjoong looked down at her and sighed. “Minjoon first.”

“Why does either of you have to be first? You can both go to college. You can commute if you need to. Life isn’t always about sacrifice. Just think about it.

Hongjoong slid his hands from her waist to the curve of her ass. “Lemme see how I feel after I eat.”

“Eat what? I know your ass don’t cook.”

“I’m not hungry for food. Come sit on your throne, Queen.” Hongjoong reached up her skirt, pulling her panties down in one swift motion.

Santana flung them across the room, placing her legs on each side of his head. She lowered herself on his face as his arms snaked around her thighs, locking her in place. His tongue teased at her entrance, the sudden contact causing her hips to buck. Her eyes fluttered shut as Hongjoong flattened his tongue along her cunt, his tongue flicking at her clit.

“Fuck, HJ,” She moaned as he sucked on her clit, her voice shaky.

The lewd sounds emitting from Hongjoong’s mouth as he licked, sucked, and slurped on her pussy caused heat to creep onto her cheeks.

Santana gripped onto the couch tightly, her legs slowly giving out.

“Fuck, baby I’m so close.” She said, out of breath.

“Yeah?” Hongjoong asked underneath her. “Ride my face. Show me how much you wanna cum.”

Santana weaved her hands into his light brown as she rocked her hips back and forth against his tongue. Her breath hitched as she felt that familiar tightening in her stomach. Her body felt like it was on fire as she shook uncontrollably, screaming Hongjoong’s name. As she came down from her high, Hongjoong unbuckled his pants.

“You ready to ride something else?” Hongjoong smirked when Santana loosened her grip on his hair and face.

“I’m always ready, Daddy,” Santana answered, sliding down to pull his boxers off. She tossed them on the floor to join the rest of the clothes as she pulled off her skirt and tank top.

She positioned herself, placing her hands on Hongjoong’s stomach to level herself before sinking down. The pair both groaning once he was fully inside her. Santana took a moment to adjust before beginning to move, bouncing up and down.

“Shit, baby, you’re always so tight.” Hongjoong gritted his teeth, reaching up to hold onto her hips.

Santana immediately pushed his hands down, speeding up the pace. “Uh uh, lemme take care of you, Daddy.” He tossed his head back, moaning as she circled her hips.

Her pace increased dangerously, her eyes snapping shut in pleasure.

“Take it easy, baby,” Hongjoong said, which was drowned out by Santana’s moans.

“TANA, SLOW DOWN.” He screamed but to no avail.

Suddenly, he flipped her over, and she landed on her back, gasping and the sudden switch.

“You don’t play fair, babygirl. You know the rules. Ladies first.” He lifted her leg onto his shoulder, his hips snapping into hers mercilessly. The room was filled with sounds of skin slapping, groans, and heavy breathing.

“Shit. Oh my God!” Santana shouted, pulling away slightly.

“Where the fuck you think you going? Take this dick, it’s yours, baby.” He said, pulling her back. “You getting close, baby? I can feel you clenching. You feel so good, baby. So tight, so warm. Cum for me, baby. I wanna hear you scream my name one more time.”

That’s all it took for Santana to become undone. Her toes curled immediately as her back arched, screaming a chant of Hongjoong’s name, her legs trembling.

“Where you want my cum, baby? Anywhere you want.” Hongjoong asked, kissing her neck.

“Mmm, cum inside me.”

“Yeah, you want me to fill you up?” His thrusts became sloppy, indicating his orgasm fast approaching.

Santana nodded. “I want you deep inside me, baby.” She muttered, overwhelmed by overstimulation.

Hongjoong nestled his face into her neck as he came, filling her up with his white seed.

They stayed like that for a while, until Hongjoong stood up. “C’ mon, we gotta shower.”

Santana whined. “How do you STILL have so much energy?”

He shrugged, pulling her up. “It’s a blessing and a curse. C’mon stinky.”

 Around 10pm that night, the couple was awoken by a loud banging on the door. Santana jumped up, alarmed. She began to fidget in the oversized t-shirt she had on. Hongjoong pressed his pointer finger to his lips, creeping up to the door. Peering into the peephole, he internally cursed when he saw the black uniforms and gold badges. He took a deep breath, pulling his grey sweats up to his waist and opened the door.

“Hongjoong Kim?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

Santana screamed as she witnessed her boyfriend is suddenly thrown to the ground and placed in handcuffs.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you doing?” She shouted.

“Hongjoong Kim, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Timothy and Clarence Claremont.”

“The Coca Twins? They’re lying! This has to be some type of mistake!” Tears stained Santana’s face.

“Baby, come here.” Hongjoong pleaded. “It’s okay. Don’t cry. Everything’s gonna be alright. Go to Seonghwa and find Minjoon. Stay together. It’s too dangerous. Tell Hwa what happened, and he’ll know what to do. Remember this phrase: Go back to when it all started, and that’s where your future begins.” He kissed her with all his might.

“Back where it all started, okay. Okay.” Santana nodded.

“Did you have an accomplice in this, Mr. Kim?”

“No. I acted alone. Just take me already. I’m not resisting.” And with that, the police dragged him away, nearly tearing his white wifebeater in the process.

And Santana was left standing in the doorway, feeling lost and empty. 

[literarytrashcollection]

Where Are Any of Us Going? (Part 7/?): Alone

(Bucky x Reader)

I spent the next two weeks going through tests with the Science Bros, hypothetical options to actually surgically remove my arms, to cut through my bones, the get through the surgery without me, ya know, exploding.

When I wasn’t in the lab, I spent time with Bucky. I made him watch hundreds of hours of movies with me, took him to my favorite restaurants, even brought him to school one day. No one paid attention that day, their eyes constantly wandering back to the deadliest assassin in the world sitting next to me.

That was the day I realized that I wouldn’t be able to attend on campus anymore. I went to admin and got transferred to the online program. When Tony heard, he made sure I had access to any information I needed for my studies. Him and Bruce were also fantastic resources for information when I didn’t understand a concept in my math and science classes.

I paused the lecture on my laptop and walked over to the door, interrupting the insistent knocking. Bucky stood there, dressed in his tactical gear, a small frown on his face.

“What’s up?” I stepped back and he sat on the edge of my bed. He didn’t speak for a long moment. “Bucky?” I sat on my knees on the floor in front of him.

“I have to go.”

“Go where?”

He waved it off, “A mission.”

“For how long?”

“Couple weeks.” He mumbled, fiddling with one of the holster straps on his thigh. “Tony said that they would have you fixed by the time I’m back.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” I asked and caught his hands in mine, resting my chin on his knee.

He shrugged. “I wanted to be here.”

“You still have to do your job, hon,” I murmured. He nodded, but he still looked sad. I stood up and sat in his lap, hugging him tightly. “Call me when you can. I’m just gonna sit here and do my homework and heal.”

“Steve’s staying, so if you need anything, please ask him.” He rested his cheek against my shoulder.

“Are you going alone?”

He shook his head. “Nat’s coming.”

“Good,” I nodded, running my fingers through his hair. “I know she’ll take care of you.”

He took a deep breath and sighed. “Don’t mention this to anyone else, but I think Tony is gonna make some calls and get clearance to start training you, once you’re healed. He wants to make you an Avenger.”

“You don’t sound thrilled.” I commented, tugging on the little growth of beard that had been growing for a while.

He huffed. “Of course I’m not.” I arched an eyebrow, waiting. “You’re my girl! Why would I want you to be trained and sent on missions that you could die on?!”

I stroked his face. “Baby, who said I was going to say ‘yes’?”

He froze. “Would you? Say ‘yes’?”

I snorted. “God no. I don’t need that responsibility. Besides,” I shifted in his lap so I could see him better, “someone’s gotta be here for you to come back to.”

He pressed his lips together hard and looked away, rubbing my leg absently. “I guess I didn’t think of that.”

“You’re right. Stop worrying. Go do your mission. I’ll be here when you get back. No more explosives in my head. Brand-y new arms.” I wiggled my fingers.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly, rocking us side to side for a moment. He buried his face in my neck, pressing little kisses in the crux of my neck and shoulder.

Steve stood with me while Bucky and Nat boarded the helicopter. The blades started up and Steve guided me back a little so I couldn’t get too wind swept. Nat guided the helicopter off the pad and I stood there watching it until I couldn’t see it anymore.

“Come on, Bruce said your surgical team should be here. They want to get your prepped.” Steve offered me his arm and I slid mine through it. “Are you scared?”

“I’ll either wake up with new arms or it will very suddenly not matter anymore.” I shrugged.

Steve looked taken aback, screeching to a halt to stare at me. “Do you really think that’s what it’s going to be?”

“Of course not, Steve,” I sighed. “But the more I distance myself from it, the easier this will be.”

He eyed me again carefully, then started walking again.

“You’ll be there when I wake up though, right?”

He nodded, patting the hand I had on his arm. “I think Bucky would kill me if I wasn’t.” He smiled a little.

He took me to the medical bay. Assistants and surgeons were preparing. Tony and Bruce stood to the side, whispering to each other. Bruce waved me over. Steve let go of me, staying just outside the makeshift OR, offering me a reassuring smile and a wave as I walked through.

“Y/N, this,” Bruce waved at one of the scrub-wearing surgeons walking around, “is Doctor Kahlid. She’ll be in charge of everything going on today.”

“Pleasure,” the doctor smiled at me. I shook her hand and watched for a moment as she continued to direct the medical team in their preparations.

“So, you’ve seen the vibranium scalpels we’re going to have to use. And the bone saw that we’re going to use to remove your shoulders,” Tony said, gesturing to the equipment set out for the procedure. “We’ll knock you out, JARVIS will monitor all your vitals and help guide Dr. Kahlid to ensure that we don’t explode you.” He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Questions?”

I knew the procedure. Bruce and Tony had gone over it with me a hundred times in the last two weeks, but that didn’t mean I was any less queasy. My stomach was in knots and my ears were ringing and I had cold sweat dripping down my back and pooling in my armpits.

“How soon can we get this over with?” I asked. Bruce chuckled a little and led me into a room so I could scrub up. Once I was prepared, I was laid out on the operating table and they started marking the cut lines, doing their final sterilizations, the works.

A mask was fitted over my nose and mouth, gas pouring in.

“Count back from one hundred for me, sweetie,” the anesthesiologist told me.

One hundred.

I could see Steve standing with Bruce and Tony. They were all talking, but I couldn’t hear them through the glass that separated the OR from the observation room.

Ninety-nine.

I tried to keep my eyes open. As much as I wanted to support Bucky and his job, I never wished more that he was just a normal guy, so he could be there with me.

Ninety-eight.

I watched another pair of scrubs cut into my leg and insert and IV. I didn’t feel it though, which was nice. My vision was starting to get fuzzy around the edges.

Ninety-seven.

I looked towards Steve again, desperately searching for reassurance, but I couldn’t find him. I could faintly hear the beeping from the heart rate monitor pick up in pace. My breathing was loud inside the mask as hyperventilation started.

Ninety—

“Who the fuck is listening to Marvin Gaye?” I grunted. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton and my eyes seemed to be glued shut.

“Language,” Steve said absently. It was silent again for a moment, then I heard the distinct sound of paper rubbing against itself. “And I like Marvin Gaye, thank you.”

I scrubbed at my eyes, finally peeling them open in time to see Steve get up and pour a glass of water from a pitcher on my bedside table. I was in my room. Why was I in my room?

I sat up quickly, ready to dart away if I needed to. “Steve?”

“Relax,” he handed me the glass of water and sat on the edge of my bed. “Surgery went great. They got the receptor out of your head first and Tony and Bruce are studying it right now. And your old arms. Everything’s attached and functioning. They just said be careful with the surgery site for a while because your skin isn’t fully healed yet. No heavy lifting, nothing more than a hundred or two pounds.”

“A hundred or two?”

“Tony said that in the final trails, he hooked them up to a robot and they held up eight hundred, no problem.”

I leaned back against the headboard, taking a drink of my water. “I was freaking out. The laughing gas scared me. I couldn’t find you and I really wanted Bucky—”

“I know, Y/N. You started thrashing. Tony and I had to hold you still until they could finish knocking you out. Your heart rate hit one-fifty. They were worried you were having some kind of adverse reaction to the gas or the anesthetic.” A battered copy of one of the Star Wars books was in his hand, but I could see bruises and scratches around his wrists.

“Did I do that to you?”

He looked down at the healing wounds. “You did,” he nodded, lips pressed together hard. “Tony was trying to hold your legs still, you fractured his elbow.”

“No,” I whined, rubbing my face.

Then it dawned on me.

I held my hands out, looking at them. “Why are they still black?”

“They haven’t activated the color match yet. They wanted to make sure everything worked and all of that before they started turning on all of the bells and whistles.”

My arms looked a lot like Bucky’s metal one, the slats moving fluidly as I turned my arms this way and that. Without asking, I reached out and touched Steve’s arm. My old arms had always been fairly receptive, I could always tell when things were warm or cold and all of that, but this was different. They felt real. It was like having the sensitivity turned up to eleven, after sitting at a solid six for a few years.

“Careful, you don’t know your own strength yet,” Steve said, flinching back a little. As much as part of me—deep in the back of my head—felt bad, I was admiring the fact that the feeling of his warm skin under my fingers felt so nice. “I already called Buck, let him know how everything went. I think he wants to hear from you though.”

I nodded, running my fingers over the blankets, my hair, anything and everything I could get my hands on.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked when I got up and started touching more things.

I turned and looked at him. “I haven’t been able to feel like this since I woke up with my bionic arms. I’m… I’ve never been happier.”

A smile grew across his face and he nodded, looking back down at his book for a second. “You should probably go tell Tony that, he’ll want to know that his suffering wasn’t for nothing.” I was about to run out the door when he caught me by the hospital gown. “After you put clothes on. I don’t think Bucky wants you running around with your… rear… hanging out.”

My heart fell through the floor and I quickly turned to hide myself from him, but he was already turned the other way. I quickly dressed, tripping a few times over my own excitement. Each time I stumbled, Steve would turn to try and help only to realize that I still wasn’t dressed and quickly look away again. At least he was a gentleman.

Once dressed, I grabbed the door, turning the knob in my hands and ripped the whole mechanism out of the door. My mouth involuntarily formed a little ‘O’ and I turned, showing it to Steve. “Oops,”

He sighed and opened the door for me, watched while I all but skipped down the hall to the elevator. JARVIS took us to Tony, who was in the kitchen. His left arm was in a sling and a tinge of guilt washed over me.

Instead of saying anything (because what would I really say?) I just hugged him, throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing.

“Y/N, gently,” Steve called when Tony started wheezing a little. I stepped back, holding my hands behind my back.

“I take it you like your new arms?” Tony asked, brushing himself off a little. I nodded, grinning at him. I didn’t think I would ever stop grinning, my face already hurt from it all. “Sensitivity at a good level, full function?”

I nodded again.

“Good. Now we can actually put you to work.”

“Doctor said she had to wait at least three weeks.” Steve interrupted.

Tony waved it off. “I don’t mean send her out yet,”

“Stark,” Steve’s voice was wary.

Tony took a deep breath. “Y/N, once you’re completely healed, we would like to train you to be an Avenger.”

I looked between Steve and Tony. I already knew my answer, but I wanted to see how they felt about it. Steve’s face was a mask, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he waited, and Tony looked… maybe not hopeful, but there was definitely something there.

“Respectfully,” I glanced between them both again, “I can’t.”

Steve’s shoulders seemed to loosen a little and he took a deep breath, whether out of relief or disappointment was still to be seen. Tony looked hurt though, and for a minute I felt awful. He’d just given me brand new arms and the one time he asks me for something in return, I shoot him down.

“I’ll work for you guys, here in the tower or whatever. But I’m just not… I’m not that person. I can’t go out there and potentially kill people for a living. I know, I’d be helping protect the world, but there are ways to do that without the spotlight.”

Steve was fighting a smile, his hand coming down on my shoulder with a squeeze that helped me solidify my decision. Tony had masked his disappointment and nodded, a short, curt, jerky motion.

“We’ll see what we can find for you here.” He quickly turned away from me, rummaging in the fridge for a bottle of creamer.

We went and saw Bruce next. He was definitely more excited that I was happy with the arms. He had me do a few tests, strength, dexterity, sensitivity, the whole nine. Then he turned the color match on and in a wave that washed from the middle of my shoulders, down to my fingertips, the sleek black turned into my usual skin color. I studied my hands for a moment, then looked at Bruce again.

“Can you turn the color match off? I kind of liked them.”

He eyed me for a moment, then nodded. He showed me the control panel in my left forearm and how I could turn the sensitivity down or up, turn the color match off and on, release the arms from the docking station built into my new shoulders.

He pulled up a scan on his work bench and showed me the extent of the new hardware in my body. A strip of metal helped to cover the wiring that trailed up into my head, then attached to the shoulder docks.

“Hey,” I smiled at Bucky’s image on my laptop screen. Instead of going back to my room, I went to his. He waved a little and looked down at the keyboard in front of him, quickly typing something out.

Can’t talk out loud.

Oh, sorry, I smiled and sent the message. His lips turned up a little at the edges and I watched his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath.

How are you feeling?

I shrugged. The numbing wore off. It’s more of a dull ache now, down to my bones.

He nodded and shifted in his seat. Steve said you did really good though, and you’re really happy.

Yeah. I broke Tony’s elbow.

He grinned, He probably deserved it. I shook my head, glaring at him. No, you’re right. Why’re you in my room?

I missed you. Figured this is the closest I could be until you get back.

His smile was sad and he took another deep breath. I love you.

I love you too. I replied. When they were knocking me out, all I wanted was for you to be there.

I know, doll. I’ve gotta go. We’ve gotta get into position, we’re staking out tonight. I’ll call you when I can, okay?

I nodded and waved a little. He glanced around, I think looking to see if Nat was looking, then blew me a kiss and disconnected.

I stared at my blank screen for a while before shutting the laptop and flopping back on the bed.

I went up to the rooftop observation deck and leaned against the railing, watching the city move down on the ground.

I thought about everything I’d learned since coming to the tower, all of the things that had been done to me. We’d made the first step, I had new arms and no more radio/bombs in my head. Step two was to take down the guys who had done this to me, and so many others.

Everything had been quiet after the charity event. No one stepped out to claim the work as their own, no one had tried to come take care of me. Whoever it was, was back in hiding. But Tony and Bruce had the receiver and they were doing their best to trace it back to the owner.

Then I thought about Bucky. It’d been less than three weeks with him and I was already so wrapped around his finger. Not that it wasn’t mutual. I think he was just as wrapped up in me as I was him.

“From my experience, the experiments get tiring,” called a soft female voice behind me. I turned and stood up a little straighter when Pepper made her way to stand next to me. “Tony told me you needed an assignment, ground work.”

I nodded.

“I have just the job for you.”

 TAGS LIST: (If you’d like to be added, let me know!) @veganfangirl5 @libbymouse @hiddles-rose @sonic-lipstick-is-mine @coffeebeforewater

[jackandmarksavedme88]

Anything But Average

TW: Alludes to some violence. @weirdmixofweirdness i had a brain and thought: why not pull up desktop mode ONTHEFREAKINPHONE. DUH 😂🙈

Formatting sucks but. Yeah.

@ashphoenix06 @nekob00

**************************************

Chase sat at the bar, his second glass of whiskey in his hand. He didnt want to go home, JJ and Jackie would want him to talk. And he just didnt feel like talking now. Itd been so long since she left it seemed...but seeing her today, across the street, holding hands with some guy theyd gone to school with, it seemed she was his just yesterday.

"Oh suck it up. She didn't want you. Youre here drowning your sorrows, and shes onto the next dick..deal with it" he thought to himself, draining the glass and waving for another.

"Ya know. Thats the cheap crap. You really wanna get blasted theres better stuff.." The bartender said "Yeah well. Im just drinking. Not getting crazy."

His phone buzzed and he looked down, laughing to himself at the meme Jack had sent him. Then a text came through from Alison She was Jacks friend that had become close with the Septic guys over the last few years. Based in Texas in the US they didnt see her in person much, but Chase and her communicated almost daily

A:Heyyyy. Whats up?

C: *picture he took of Stacey and her boy toy* Thats a guy we went to school with 😑. They were 'friends'

A: Dude. Thats a downgrade. Although she was never good enough for you anyway. Only good thing was the kiddos

C:yeah. It still hurts like hell though.... I need to run away. Get out of here. Theyre going to her moms for a month or so for school holidays and i dont want to be here.

A:well. You could always come here? My Dad and step mom are leaving so i have my cabin on the ranch plus the main house to myself for like a month. You should come!

Chase sat and pondered this. Him go to Texas? With horses and a lake and a bunch of land to explore with fourwheelers....that sounded like heaven

C: Are you for real? Because i could seriously use that lol

The phone rang with Alisons ringtone "Hello?"

Alison: Hell yes im serious! Itd help me out because i don't really want to be by myself out here that long. And you sound like you could use it. Seriously. Fly in, ill come get you and we can tear some shit up

Chase laughed 'alright. Be careful what you ask for Allycat"

Her laugh echoed across the line "Ohhh im shaking Mr Brody. Figure out a flight and let me know!"

Chase told her ok and hung up with her, immediately finding a flight that left in a couple of days "I am outta here" he said

************* 'Wait. So youre going for a month??' Jackie said in shock , 'Just like that??' He was standing in the bedroom door watching Chase pack. He had to be at the airport in about 2 hours

"Yeah. I need to get outta my head and Ali offered. So Im going. I think it'll do me some good. She has a computer and Stacey said i could skype the kids, they wont be in town anyway... I just need this Jackie" The hero stared at him knowingly and then nodded 'ok. Just be careful.... Hey..She ever say anything to you about her going MIA a while back?'. Chase shook his head. Thats one thing he hoped to get out of her. Even Jack had tried to get her to tell him where she'd been, but no dice. 'Hm. Ok. Well, let us know when you get there man...'

Chase zipped his suitcase and grab his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. 'I will bro. Thanks for understanding' he hugged his brother hard and then grabbed the suitcase and left.

******* Chase sat in the passenger seat of the truck, still speechless at Alison's appearance. He was expecting the Alison hed seen two years ago; but shed been training and gained muscle and holy hell. She was dressed in cutoff red shorts and a sleeveless black shirt. When she ran up to him at the airport hed almost stepped on his own bottom jaw. Her auburn hair gleamed in the sun as she talked about everything she had planned for this weekend

"Uh...chase..you ok? Awful quiet there bud" she looked over at him. Chase shook his head to clear his brain 'yeah. Yeah im good.... Hey. You look incredible!"

Alisons face flushed 'aw. Thanks' she laughed. "So. Here we are" she pulled the truck up to a gate and punched in a code. As she drove onto the ranch Chase stared out the window.

'Holy hell Alison. This is gorgeous.' They drove for another fifteen minutes, passed the huge main house and pulled up to a log cabin.

'Alright. Let's go in.' She grinned and stepped out of the truck. Chase smiled and followed her. She walked up the steps and unlocked the door. As Chase walked in he laughed. A Sam pillow and Pink Mustache pillow decorated the couch on either end.

'Really Alison?' He said, picking up Septiceye Sam "Hey! Yes really!' She said laughing. 'Just because im friends with them doesnt mean im not going to buy their shit!' He shook his head, all awkwardness gone.

There was the Alison he knew, a goofball with an affinity for Markiplier and Jacksepticeye.

She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling some steaks out. 'You hungry?' Chase nodded. 'Hell yes, ive been needin some of your cooking!' He said, his smile lighting his face. 'You know. Im gonna have to teach you how to cook Mr Brody.' She grinned at him. And he looked at her wide eyed "um..alison. You sure you wanna do that?' "Um. Yes" she said. Grinning at him. 'First lesson..music!' She pulled up an app on her phone and music began drifting through the room. Chase shook his head. Yep. Still Alison

****** Chase watched as Alison danced in place as she cut up some vegtables and potatoes. She was barefoot, singing along to the beginning notes of 'Small Town Boy' by Dustin Lynch, he smiled as he stood up from the barstool he was sitting on... Vegatables could wait He walked up behind her and took the knife from her hand, she turned to him 'what are you-?' Chase grabbed her hand and pulled her to the open kitchen floor and started dancing with her. She threw her head back and laughed as they swayed and Chase sang along

* I'm a dirt road in the headlights I'm a mama's boy, I'm a fist fight Kinda county line, kinda cold beer Little hat down, little John Deere I kinda give a damn I kinda don't care You see that girl standing right there She loves a small town boy like me She's my ride or die baby She's my cool, she's my crazy She's my laid back in the front seat She's my with me to the end girl My turn-it-up-to ten girl....* Alison laughed and sang with him. She was in trouble if her stomach and heart were going to continue playing Zoo escape with him here. Shed been friends with the guys a while. But this was out of left field. She hadnt expected her heart to try to beat its way out when she saw him standing there at the airport. His green hair had been replaced by a natural brown and his eyes shone as blue as ever. When he saw her and smiled as she started to run toward him for a hug, shed almost fallen over. This would be a very interesting visit.

*********** They were sitting on the back porch after dinner. Chase was watching Alison animatedly talk about training with some of the guys in her Dad's work, laughing when she knocked over her water glass when her hands flew into it 'Oh shit!' Alison cried out. Then she just started laughing and Chase couldnt help but laugh along with her as he went inside the sliding glass door to the kitchen and grabbed a towel and handed it to her. She mopped up the mess and then sat back down, still giggling.

'Well. Still gracefull as ever i see Miss Calaway' Chase said teasingly She stuck her tongue out laughing 'oh fuck off Mr Brody' They laughed and then sat in silence, watching the lake.

'So.' Alison said quietly 'how are you...really?'

Chase smiled at her 'you know.... Earlier this week i was in hell. Seeing her with him opened old wounds...but being here now i feel a little better. Like i can breathe. It hurts still. But i can breathe' Alison nodded and reached over and squeezed his hand 'im really glad you came. I needed some company...'

She dropped her hands to her lap and stared out at the water. The energy around them shifted and Chase could sense something hed been feeling all evening. Something was weighing heavy on her. 'Alison....whats going on? You never told me what happened that two week span you quit replying to anyone..and ive left it alone this long but.. i can tell now sitting here it wasnt a case of being too busy with fun stuff to look at your phone' Alison looked down, a mixture of sadness and guilt shadowing her face. He was talking about last year. Even Jack had tried to get out of her where shed been...but she hadnt told a soul. Only her family knew. Tears welled in her eyes... that had been during a bad time for Chase...she remembered the pain in the drunk texts from him that shed read when she got the phone back...

She stood and walked over to the railing. Trying not to cry and failing 'Hey...alison im sorry. I didnt mean to-..' Chase stood and walked up beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. She turned to face him and burying her face in his chest, silent tears rolling down her face for a moment. Then she took a deep breath, stepped back and wiped her face 'Sorry...its just... I never apologized for not being there for you. I read those texts a million times after the fact and... Im so sorry Chase'

Chase stared at her shocked 'thats whats upsetting you? Alison, i send angsty texts to my brothers every time im freakin drunk' he laughed. "You dont need to apologize. It was a bad point but nothing for you to feel guilty for being absent for... But i would like to know where you were. We all know when you reappeared you were different." Alison stared into his eyes, hed had never noticed how green they were. She was searching...but for what? 'Chase.... Not even Jack knows what happened...' She took a deep breath '....i was in the hospital.' Chases mouth dropped open in shock 'What?! Why???'

She stared at her feet and was quiet for a minute. 'Do you remember Chris?' She asked. Chase grimaced at the name, he remembered Chris. He also remembered the broken nose and black eye he gave him a couple years back when he saw him shove Alison to the ground "Yeah. Your boyfriend that no one liked?' She nodded 'yeah. That one.... God i shouldve listened to yall. ' Chase put his hand under her chin and lifted her gaze to his and spoke softly 'what did he do ali?' She swallowed hard. 'Short version? Got mad that i wanted to leave the country to come see yall.... Tied me up and used me as a punching bag for 3 days....'

Chases eyes widened in horror 'what the fuck....howd you get away???' She snorted 'my Dad came to find me.... Imagine for yourself how pretty that was' Chase knew it hadnt been.

Her father was famous for being called The Undertaker. Almost seven feet tall and 300lbs...and Alison was his little girl. His first daughter. His pride... Oh lord that couldnt have been good....

'So' she continued 'i was in the hospital for a good while... Actually the first time i texted you i was still there for another week.... ' Chase pulled her into a hug 'Ali im so so sorry..my God if i had known...' Alison laughed 'if you had known you wouldve been deported and arrested for murder...no i didnt want anyone knowing. Im the one who stayed when yall told me to leave. I'm the idiot.' Chase leaned back, arms still around her. 'No! Its not your fault. I dont care what we told you to do. You want to see the good in people. You want to believe everyone is good and thats an amazing trait. You should never think thats stupid' She smiled and leaned into his chest savoring the warmth and safety.

Later, after they had said goodnight and gone to their rooms, Chase lay there awake. He could still feel her head on his shoulder, feel the warmth from her, and his heart skipped. "What the hell is going on ??' He hadnt felt that since high school...that first skip of the heart when you find someone.... 'Oh grow up Brody. Shes your best friend and doesnt need your damaged ass complicating her life..' Little did he know she was in the room at the opposite end of the hall thinking along the same lines...

****** A week had gone by, they danced around the flirtation and the obvious tension that lay under their banter. The day before it had rained, creating mud puddles everywhere. Now it was sunny and muggy out. Alison excitedly threw a pair of 4-wheeler keys to Chase and grinned as she pulled her ponytail through the back of the hat she was wearing. Chase watched as she bounded down the front steps and followed suit. They were both in jeans. The day before Chase had bought a cheap pair of boots he could get muddy. They were heavy but at least it wasnt his sneakers. They headed down the path between Alison's and the main house. Chase studied her as they walked. He hadnt been as brave since the first night. He wanted to say something....anything. But he wasnt sure where to start. 'You good ?' Alison stopped walking and looked at him, his face flushed slightly "Yeah, im good. Ready to tear up the mud' Alison laughed 'well the shed is right over here. I keep mine here since its closer to my place' They rounded the bend in the path and came upon the metal shed. She unlocked the door and walked in, pulling the tarp off the two four-wheelers. She threw a michevious grin at Chase as she climbed on hers "You ready to get dirty?' She laughed Chase grinned 'Hell yeah!' He climbed on his and they roared to life, Alison shot out of the building and took off, he threw his head back laughing and started after her

****** After about an hour or two of flying through mud and water puddles, they were sitting on the edge of the lake on a blanket Alison had laid out under the big umbrella. Chase had his shirt off as it was wet and muddy. He looked over at her and couldnt help but laugh. She had mud streaked down her arms and some on her nose.. The only part that wasnt spotted was her legs. Shed taken off the jeans and was in her swim shorts that had been under them.

'What?!' She said

'Youre a little...uh...dirty there girl' She laughed 'you should see yourself, your floofy hairdo aint cuttin it kid' she said as she reached over and messed up his hair, dirt falling out 'Hey!' Chase cried and grabbed her hand as he chuckled 'you leave my hair alone. Youre just jealous' Alison laughed and rolled her eyes. 'Yeah. Ok' They sat next to each other in silence, her knees pulled up and arms wrapped around them. She leaned against his side and looked like she was ready to fall asleep on his shoulder. Chase scooted over to the far side of the blanket and laid back, then pulled her down so her head rested on his chest and an arm was around her. His pulse raced and she easily fit in his arm and curled against him.

She sighed contentedly 'hey Chase... Anytime i need to lay with someone im gonna find you. Because youre really comfortable' she said giggling. He laughed 'ok. But youll have to come across the pond a lot' 'Hmm' she said thoughtfully 'ok. Im good with that. Ill come over there for some Brody cuddles' He squeezed her and smiled. 'Hey....Ali?'

'Yeah?' She shifted her head so she could look up at him. Her heart raced as she caught his eyes. Shed been having trouble concentrating on anything since he took his shirt off and this wasnt any easier.

'What are we avoiding here?' He asked... He hadnt meant to be so blunt but it just kind of came out that way. 'I mean. We're good and normal and then other times its so freaking awkward..i dont get it' 'I-.' Alison didnt really have an answer for that. She knew what she thought she was avoiding. But she wasnt 100% sure. 'I dont know.. I mean... I think its obvious theres something to talk about. But neither of us wants to say it'

Chase stared into her green eyes intently 'Well if you want to say what i want to say, then fuck this silence. Tell me'

Alison sat up and looked the other way and he followed. 'Its not just that easy for me Chase.... I dont know what you want...i dont know what im supposed to do..i dont know wh-'.. '

He grabbed her chin and turned her face towards his 'what i want is for you to shut up and kiss me...what youre supposed to do is stop rambling and let me show you'

With that he pressed his mouth to hers and kissed her. Slowly at first and then harder. She sat up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back. They pulled away breathless and stared at each other.

'Now alison' he said, his voice husky "Whyd you wait so long to do that?' He grinned and pulled her to him again and kissing her deeper, laying back, her laying halfway across his chest. After a moment she pulled away and laid her head down on him and laughed 'Holy crap' He laughed out loud, 'yeah... Thats one way of putting it' He kissed the top of her head and wrapped her in his arm, they both drifted off..

****** It was a month and a half later. Chase stood by the front door. Nervous. He didnt want to leave. They hadnt been what youd call official..neither of them labled it . Sure they had held hands, slow danced with each other, kissed and gotten close..but it wasnt like *that* was it?... And now he was going home. He wasnt supposed to feel this way. His heart wasnt supposed to ache like this....

Alison stood in her room making sure she had her keys and phone...stalling. "What the hell...why is this so damn hard. Hes my best friend....a great kisser...but my best friend! Its not supposed to be like this' she thought to herself. Walking out she caught his eyes and saw her sadness reflected there

'Are you ready to go?' She inquired, trying to sound happy

"....you want the truth or the answer thatll make you feel better?' He chuckled.

'Chase...' She stood by him and grabbed his hand... 'I know, i know. We live a million miles from each other... I just didnt think it would-' 'Hurt this much?' She said, staring up at him He sighed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in and kissing the top of her head. 'Yeah' She opened the door and they walked out to the truck.

******** 'Seriously. Come out sometime, the boys and me will show you a good time' Chase said Alison smiled at him ' Definitely...ill miss you. Thank you for coming. I had a blast'

Chase smiled and her 'And stop standing so far away.' He grabbed her hand and pulled her close 'its harder to kiss you goodbye from over there....if thats okay.... Just one last time?' She smiled and nodded as a blush crept to her cheeks he leaned down and kissed her, both of them holding on longer than they intended. 'Alison...dont be a stranger' he said. Hugging her one last time and picking up his bags. 'I..i wont Chase. Tell everyone i said hi'

She waved goodbye and watched him walk toward his gate, then turned and headed for her truck. When she got inside she let go of her control and cried. The tears didnt stop until she was back to her place. She walked into the room Chase had been staying in and found one of his worn shirts folded on the bed with a note and a small bottle of cologne. She smiled and cried a little reading it

'I know its not the same as falling asleep on me. But this is the cologne i use, you can wear the shirt or use it as a pillow case... Ill miss you' She laid down on the bed and could still smell him as she drifted to sleep

******** 'Dude. You were supposed to go over there to get happier. Now youre just more mopey. What the hell happened?' Jackie asked Chase

They were in the living room, Chase sprawled on the couch. It had been almost two weeks since he came home 'Jackie. Just leave it alone man. Ok? I dont want to talk about it'

'Chase, you need to talk about it. I havent seen you like this ever. When Stacy left you cried and drank and talked about it... You dont even drink anymore. You just sit and watch tv or sleep' Jackie said, worry coating his words.

Chase sat up 'look man. Im an idiot and i caught feelings at the wrong time and the wrong place. Ok? And it hurts because i cant be where i need to be and where i want to be at the same time! I dont drink because then i dream about her and....'

His words drifted off Jackie came to sit by him and put an arm over his shoulder ' you always dream about Stacy though. I thought the sleeping pills helped with that'

Chase put his head in his hands 'Bro. This isnt about Stacy. I never thought id say this but i think this hurts worse'

Jackie was shocked. He couldnt believe what had just come out of his brothers mouth 'Then...who? And what did they do that was so bad???'

Chase shook his head 'thats just it. Nothing bad. It was all amazing... But.. Damnit man. I just wish it wasnt so fucking far, you know?' Jackie thought for a minute and his eyes widened and mouth dropped as he caught on

'Holy shit you mean Alison???' Chase's head shot up 'Jackie if you tell anyone so help me ill strangle you' Jackie put his hands up 'No no. I wont..but..what happened?' Chase laughed 'nothing like that... We just kissed and cuddled a lot and... I really think i fell for her man and i dont know how to process it... I feel like I'm losing my mind.' Then he opened up and told Jackie everything about the trip. His brother just sat and listened.

*************** Two weeks later...

'Alison!' Jack ran over to her, shed begged him to pick her up at the airport but hadnt wanted anyone to know. Hed been happy to oblige. Confused. But happy

'Jack!' She ran over to him and hugged him hard. Shed missed this goofball

'Ok so are you going to tell me whats going on?' Jack said as they grabbed her bags and walked outside to where the Uber was waiting for them

' um.... Its a little hard to explain. But.. I just had to come ok? Im actually meeting my Dad tomorrow. Theyre here because of a movie shoot. We are all staying a month or so.'

Jack shook his head 'i know when youre lying. Theres something youre not tellin me Ali' She looked at him. Knowing hed either laugh or help her... Well only one way to find out

'Jack....when Chase stayed with me for that month... We..I.... I fell for him ok? And i think he feels the same way. And this last month has been hell because i cant stop thinking about him. I know it sounds crazy but i had to come see him, and yall. ' it came out in a rush.

Jacks mouth dropped open in shock. 'You mean...youre the reason Chase has been so mopey? Thank God i thought he was on about Stacy again' and he laughed 'So. Wanna suprise him?' His smile conspiratorial Alison grinned. She shouldve known she could count on him.

*********** 'Well why do i need to go Jack? Why dont you?' Chase whined into the phone 'i dont feel like talking to anyone about filming man. I dont have it in me' 'Chase. Youre going. Trust me. Just meet the agent at the park. Theyll be by the river. Itll be a good opportunity for you man' Jack said on the other end of the line, trying to keep from laughing. 'And what about the others? Jackie and everyone left the house today. They said they were staying with you tonight because you were filming some stuff. Why cant i help?' Chase questioned 'Look Chase. I need you to do this for me. Ok? Please bro?' Chase rolled his eyes 'fine. But this better be a good meeting' Jack hung up the phone and laughed 'oh trust me Brody. Youll love it' he said to himself. Shooting alison a text. 'Now we wait'

At the house Chase threw the phone. He wanted to be mad but he knew Jack was just worried. Hed been holed up in his room since he came back, hadnt touched his skateboard in a month, hadnt even looked at his PS4.. All he could do was go through the photos from his trip. Hed talked to Alison on facetime and she seemed to be happy, was training and riding horses. She had sent him phtos of her and her Dad and little sisters... He felt like he was lying to her. He said he was okay, just more tired...but the reality was he wanted to beg her to come to him. He wanted to tell her he thought he loved her-- but he just kept a smile on his face because as long as she was happy, thats all that mattered

****** Later that night Alison sat on the bench. Nervously playing with the hem of her dress she had bought that morning. He should be here any minute.... What if he was mad...what if he didn't want her here? What if.... She recieved a text from Jack

J:Hes there.

Her heart pounded. Now what? She sat and waited...hearing footsteps

* Chase could see someone on the bench by the water and headed that way. As he walked his eyes focused on the figure. Their hair was an auburn color... That thought made his heart ache as he remembered brushing Alisons from her face... He got close enough to the bench and the figure stood and turned toward him. His heart jumped and he almost fell down 'Al-alison?' He whispered. Not believing what he was seeing. 'Chase..' She said softly. Her face broke into a smile as tears filled her eyes. She ran to him and he embraced her. He finally let go and looked down at her grabbing her face with both hands "ali what the hell are you doing here?!' Tears rolled from her eyes 'Chase....i couldnt stay away anymore. Im sorry...i know i shouldve told you but i didnt know if you wanted me here and-' her words were cut off as he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. When they pulled back he looked at her for a long minute and then spoke as he wiped her tears 'Dont ever apologize for making me this happy...ever. Of course i want you here. Its been hell just talking to you on FaceTime and not being able to say what im thinking. My God Alison i missed you more than i thought possible' She smiled and kissed his cheek and hugged him again. Savoring the feel of his arms around her

'Cmon. Lets go talk' he said pulling out his phone to call a ride 'I got it' she said grinning 'My dad loaned me a driver for my trip' she called someone and said whered they be. As they walked to the road Chase saw a black limo waiting and laughed 'Well. That beats an Uber'

As they rode he just stared at her. She was looking out the window. His heart beat faster. She came....she missed him so much that she came all the way here. He smiled to himself and then shot Jack a text

C:'Youre an ass for letting me walk into that unwarned....but thank you man'

J:no thanks needed. I did it for both of you. You both deserve smiles on your faces man. Now put the phone down... Also Jackie said to tell you 'stay in your own room' 😂

Chase laughed out loud and covered his face. He was going to have to smack him Alison looked over 'whats so funny?' She reached for the phone and snatched it before Chase could stop her 'alison i wouldn-' he warned laughing 'Oh my god.... Im gonna have to smack him when i see him' she said laughing as her face turned red. They both giggled and Chase grabbed the phone and turned it off after sending 'tell him i said ..' Followed by a couple of middle finger emojis

***** They walked into the house and Chase locked the front door before grabbing Alisons hand and kissing her again. He couldnt believe she was here. Alison leaned into him and kissed him back and then said smiling 'i cant believe im standing here' Chase laughed 'i cant either! I mean...why would you come all this way??' Alison locked eyes with him. 'Because... I never knew i could miss someone so much Chase. Honestly it was driving me nuts. I got tired of having the pictures from your trip and FaceTime with fake 'hey buddy' bullshit..... But i wanted to say it to your face.

Chase nodded. He knew exactly what she meant.

** Alison had been there a week and couldnt get over the fact that she was with him. Chase was sprawled out on the other side of the king sized bed and snoring. They had both decided to stay in the hotel room she had reserved for her time here. Chase wasnt used to such a huge bed and Alison laughed thinking back to his face when he first laid on it. She laid her book down and reached over, brushing his hair back and smiling. He stirred and blinked at her sleepily "Ali-- you ok babe?" Her heart jumped at that name. She felt a blush spreading as he sat up and his bare chest became visable. "Yeah- yeah. Was just admiring how cute you were when you sleep" He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair "what. Are you saying im not cute when im awake? " "Well....when youre asleep youre much quieter" she said laughing. His mouth opened in fake offense and then he grinned mischeviously "Oh. Okay.." He rolled over and caught her and tickled her and she laughed and squealed. 'Chase! Chase! Okay i give i give!!" He stopped and looked down at her as he laid across her and laughed 'youre pretty cute yourself Alleycat " he kissed the tip of her nose and she craned her mouth up. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her and she wrapped her arms around him. He still wasnt used to the sparks that went through his brain with her. That first night hed stayed with her they... Caught up.. quickly. He was still addicted to the taste and feel of her even after as many times hed experienced her. "Ali-" he whispered as he placed his forehead to hers "Yeah Chase?" "I...i think... This is gonna sounds insane' he laughed She pushed him up so she could look in his eyes "Baby...what?" Chase stared into her green eyes. Never having been more sure of what he was about to say...knowing if he didnt hed never sleep "Alison..... I love you...and i know thats crazy. I never thought id ever say that to anyone with this feeling behind it after her....but honestly if she walked up to me right now and asked me to come home...id say no. Youve made me feel whole. You make me the man i want to be. Even my kids when i saw them yesterday asked why i was so happy... ' He stopped and grinned sheepishly "i kinda talked about you a little...they want to meet you. I told them maybe in a couple of weeks..but thats up to you..Stacy was cool with it if you are..' She stared at him, not knowing what to say. A smile broke across her face and her eyes misted over "Chase...id love to meet them..." She pulled him to her and kissed him before saying quietly 'and Mr Brody...you should know. I love you too.." *****

[jackson-phillips-blog]

You Outta Know || Janton and Chase

Tagging: Jackson Phillips, Anton Mishka Morozov, Chase Olsen Setting: Jackson’s apartment, Afternoon of Tuesday, April 25th Summary: Chase comes over to check on Jackson and Mishka comes home from work. Awkwardness ensues and more than one secret gets revealed. Warnings: None

Jackson had been home for a few days and while he still wasn't feeling great--far from it actually--he definitely wasn't as miserable as he'd been at first. The limitations of his injuries still frustrated him infinitely and for as much as he appreciated Mishka's help, he still had trouble admitting that he needed it or accepting it when it was offered. It was slow going and a learning process for both of them but finally, he'd convinced his boyfriend to go back to work, that he didn't need to be watched around the clock. It was easier said than done, but eventually Mishka had left the apartment for a shift at Tall Tales and he'd gone back to sleep on the couch.

It was a little before noon when Jackson finally woke up and it didn't take long for the urge to do something hit him. But he knew he needed rest so instead, he fired off a message to Chase, asking his friend to come over. What better than time hanging with a friend, not to mention the peace of mind that his burn was healing normally? It wasn't that he'd purposely waited until Mishka was gone to invite the other man over b--okay, yes it was because on top of everything else he was still and would always be worried about being outed. Chase already suspected something and showing up to his one bedroom apartment where two men lived was hard for anyone to sell. Jackson made his way to the front door at the sound of a knock, not bothering to fight his way into a shirt. “Hey, man,” he greeted his friend before stepping back to allow him inside. “I was wonderin’ if ya got lost.”

Chase had already written out the instructions for Jackson after their conversation the other night and had left them next to a box of Thin Mints on his kitchen counter so he wouldn’t forget either thing whenever Jackson asked him to come over. Things at work were chaotic as usual, but Chase thrived off of chaos. It was much easier to throw himself into his work and put all of his focus on that than anything else. He had just gotten home and out of the shower when Jackson texted, quickly changing into clean clothes before he heads over, smiling as his friend opens the door. “Hey yourself. Sorry, I had to get changed.” The brunette says apologetically, holding up the bag he had brought with him as he steps inside, chuckling softly. “I come bearin’ cookies and instructions on how to take care of your arm. Want me to get that look over over with now? It’ll only take a minute.”

“I'm just fuckin’ with ya, Chase. Thanks for comin’ over,” Jackson said with a laugh as he pushed the door closed behind the other man. He couldn't help that his spirits lifted a little at the mention of the cookies and he nodded. “Yeah, just kick ya shoes off and come on in.” As he spoke his eyes flicked down to where his hand pointed at the line of shoes against the wall. After a second, his eyes went a little wide as he spotted a few pairs of Mishka's mixed in with his. Fuck. He hadn't even thought about that since his boyfriend has moved all his stuff in. Maybe Chase wouldn't notice though. He cleared his throat and did his best to shake it off mentally as he turned for the living room. “The couch’ll work, yeah?” Jackson asked.

“No problem, man. Anytime.” Chase replies, kicking off his shoes at Jackson’s request. “Yeah, couch is fine.” Grabbing the pair of gloves he had brought with him from the bag, he slips them on, setting everything else aside before following his friend over to where he sat. “How’s it feelin’? It’ll start gettin’ itchy as t heals, try not to scratch it too hard. You can put some plain lotion on it though if it gets too bad, just try not to overdo it otherwise the skin’ll stay wet and not heal.” The brunette murmurs as he looks Jackson’s shoulder over, being careful not to hurt his friend. “I don’t see any signs of infection - just keep puttin’ on whatever they gave ya at the hospital and bandaging it and it should heal up just fine in a couple of weeks.”

Jackson settled down on the couch and helped the slide the band of the sling out of the way so the bandages could be peeled back. “I mean, it hurts, but nothin’ like it was after it happened.” He hummed quietly in reply to show he understood the instructions and he was more than relieved to hear it looked good. Not that he didn't trust Mishka's first aid skills, but it was just good to have that reassurance from someone with medical training. “That's good to hear. Thanks, bro,” he said as he waited for everything to be shifted back like it was. “Just wish the swellin’ would go down already. I wanna take this damned thing off.” Jackson sighed at his own words though. He wasn't the type to complain this much. “Do I get my cookies now?”

“No problem. You could try putin’ ice on it a few times a day, if the pressure’s not too much.” Chase suggests as he reapplies the bandage, giving Jackson a smile. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll grab ‘em.” Getting up, he tosses the gloves out before going back to his things, grabbing the box of cookies. “I left the instructions for ya on the table. They should be pretty self explanatory, but if ya have any questions, ya know how to reach me.” The brunette says, shrugging as he opens up the Thin Mints, offering them over to his friend. “I’m no doctor, but I’m way better than Google. Google just freaks people out, I swear.”

“Jus’ have to figure out a comfortable way to make the ice pack stay where I put it,” Jackson said. It's something he'd have to get creative with, but it would be worth it if it meant the swelling would go down faster. He shifted around on the couch when Chase disappeared, fidgeting with strap of the sling for a few seconds. He really was over the damned thing but he knew better than to risk having to wear it for longer. Jackson grinned at the cookies when they were opened and held out for him. At least this was still normal more or less. “Oh yeah, have folks thinkin’ they've got some incurable shit,” he laughed as he tugged a few cookies from the pack and bit into one. Before he could say anything else, his phone buzzed and he sat the cookies down in favor for his phone. Fuck being one-handed. Of course that minor irritation was erased once he opened the snapchat from Mishka, the picture making him angle his screen away from Chase until the time was up.

“Try a bag of frozen peas. They’re easier to bend around your shoulder than an ice pack.” The brunette replies, leaning back against the couch a bit.  “You can always put the sling strap on top of the ice pack or whatever too.” Shrugging, Chase helps himself to a cookie, chewing it slowly. “Yeah, it’s crazy. I hate it when people call us thinkin’ something is terribly wrong because they’ve looked on Google and then it turns out to be somethin’ real simple.” He replies, shaking his head a bit. “You need to get that?” He asks once Jackson reaches for his phone, brows furrowing slightly as he moves his phone away - not that he was going to creep on whatever Jackson was looking at. “I can go if it’s bad time, the cookies are yours.” The EMT offers, not wanting to get in the way of anything, even though Jackson had invited him over. But Chase knew things came up all of the time, and he wasn’t gonna pick at it and start a fight. At least not with one of his friends. “Earth to Jackson, anyone in there?”

Jackson typed out a quick response to the picture before turning his screen off and tossing his phone down to the couch. “Huh? What? No, no, no,” he said with a laugh, waving Chase’s words off. He knew it had been rude to answer his phone while they were hanging out but he also knew that Mishka would have thought something was wrong if he hadn’t answered back. “Just a snap from my...friend.” Right, because that didn’t sound suspicious at all. The other man had already hinted he knew there was more to his ‘friend’ as it was. “You-uh--ya want anythin’ to drink or anythin’?” Jackson offered as he picked up one of the cookies he’d put down and took a bite.

“Mhmm.” Chase mutters in response, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Jackson was acting cagey, and it wasn’t the pain medication talking. “Nah, I’m good. Don’t trouble yourself, man. You should be restin’. EMT’s orders or whatever.” He says firmly, giving the brunette beside him a look, though he’s only half serious. He really doesn’t want anything though, pushing the sleeve of cookies back towards Jackson. “Don’t worry about me. You eat cookies and relax.”

Boy, was Beckie glad to see him again. Their relationship was purely based off of their profession, but he could tell that managing the store by herself and some newly hired employee hadn’t been easy. The second Anton had walked into work he saw how disorientated a lot of things was, but he was kind of happy for the distraction. It kept him busy for most of the shift and when his last hour was almost up he had been fairly surprised at how non-offending work was today. He had gone in expecting there to be some sort of Hell fire, alright poor choice of words considering the accident that happened recently, but he didn’t walk out of work with a permanent crease between his brows. Which, was a pretty rare thing to come by really.

As Anton walked back to Jackson’s place he texted Wade. His friend sent him that reminder about keeping Friday free and he had to reassure the Brit that he wouldn’t skip out. It wasn’t like he had a choice last time anyways- and even if he did he still wouldn’t have gone out to that art show. Not when Jackson had just gotten home and all of that. By the time he had his keys jingling in the doorknob he was smiling down at his phone. Leave it to Wade to say some stupid shit to try and ‘threaten’ him for the tenth time about not flaking out on the evening plan. “Гребаный идиот,” he muttered to himself as he unlocked the front door. “I’m back.” Anton pushed the door open and stepped inside only to toe off his shoes right away. “Beckie says hi by the way, and I have a thing on Friday to go to.” He pocketed his phone and nudged his shoes over towards the usual spot he left them but found the area occupied. Huh. Weird. Anton did a double take and frowned, but he didn’t think much of it until he went over towards the living room. “It’s an art show that Wa-”

Oh. Oh, fuck. His mouth remained open as he saw who was sitting on the couch. There was Jackson, of course, but there was also someone else that automatically made his stomach churn unpleasantly. It wasn’t because he found Chase unpleasant or anything, but it was more based off of the guilt he hadn’t gotten over. Anton pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked from one man to another. His hands flexed by his sides out of a nervous habit and he avoided eye contact for a moment. “Uh, hey.” It was said in the others’ general direction as he busied his eyes with the lily that sat by the windowsill.

Jackson had been in the middle of explaining how there was nothing left on Netflix that appealed to him when the door opened so he didn’t pick up on it right away and it wasn’t until he heard Mishka’s voice that he was aware they weren’t alone. He nearly choked on his cookie, a bit of panic rising in him immediately. Was his boyfriend home early or had that much time passed without him realizing it? He blinked up at Mishka as he stepped into the living room, his eyes a little wide. Not that he’d been doing anything other than hanging out with Chase, but that wasn’t what he was worried about being caught in. “M-Mishka...D-Did you get off early?” he asked, his voice shaking way more than he wanted it to. “This is my friend Chase, the EMT that bullied me into goin’ t-to the hospital.” Jackson turned back to Chase, trying to gauge exactly what was going through his friend’s mind at the sudden arrival of another guy in his apartment. “C-Chase, this is Mishka, my fr…” Fuck it, he was already caught now. “My boyfriend.”

Chase recognizes Mishka’s voice as soon as the other male lets himself in, and suddenly everything starts to click. The way both males are refusing to make eye contact, the way they’re both stuttering - this was the friend Jackson had been talking about. “Hey. We’ve met, actually. Over at the pool.” He replies calmly with a shrug, not about to throw Mishka under the bus. Obviously the other night hadn’t been brought up yet, and he wasn’t gonna do that to Jackson. “Yeah, don’t listen to him. I was just doin’ my job.” Gesturing vaguely, Chase shakes his head, moving to his feet slowly. “Jackson, it’s fine, you don’t-” He’s halfway through telling his friend that he doesn’t owe him an explanation when the truth comes out, causing him to pause. It wasn’t that he cared if Jackson liked guys or not, because it didn’t matter to him and it really wasn’t any of his business, but the fact that he had almost hooked up with his friend’s boyfriend a few nights ago was enough to cause concern, at least for Jackson. There was obviously more to the story there, but now wasn’t the time to get into it. “Well then I have instructions for ya, Jackson asked me to write ‘em out just to be safe.” The brunette finally adds on, nodding towards the kitchen. “I can go over ‘em with ya real quick before I go.”

He didn’t actually see how surprised Jackson was, but he sure could hear it. Hell, he could probably smell it if he wanted to the same old dramatic self he always was. Except he didn’t feel like that right now. All he felt was this crippling crash of how much of a shitty person he was all at once. It was always there in the back of his mind, but he was good at just going with it. Now though? Not so much. While a part of him was pleasantly surprised that Jackson admitted their relationship out loud, he couldn’t get over the fact that these two men were friends. Just leave it to him to find the one person that was on good terms with Jackson and himself. Anton cursed himself to hell and back internally as he finally sighed, but none of the growing tension in his body was released with the heavy breath. When Anton looked back over to the pair his gaze was tired and strained. The telltale tick jumped on the corner of his jaw as he listened to what Chase said. There wasn’t a reason to freak out, alright? There really wasn’t, but he felt his stomach go cold and his throat threatened to tighten. “Yeah. Yeah, that’d be grand,” he said with a crooked smile that lacked the passive happiness he had walked in with. Anton rubbed the back of his neck as he went over towards the kitchen to see where the instruction were as he tried to keep his breathing steady again. Panicking wasn’t the solution to this, it never was for any situation, but the shitty part of his mind was already spewing crap into his conscious about how terrible of a person he was and the worst part was that he didn’t deny any of it.

Jackson honestly had no idea what had possessed him to introduce Mishka as his boyfriend. It was the truth, obviously and he’d wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t ashamed of that. And Chase was his friend, right? Surely if anyone would understand, it would be the EMT. At least, that’s what he’d thought but it didn’t seem to be the case with the way Chase was suddenly trying to get out of the apartment and how he seemed to pause at the admission. Even Mishka was acting off, but Jackson hadn’t noticed it as much because panic and worry was rising in him. Had he just lost another friend? It was the main question on his mind as Mishka and Chase moved towards the kitchen, the fact that the two knew one another not really clicking in the moment. “Y-Ya don’t gotta leave, Chase,” he called after them, though his voice made it clear he was already sure he’d fucked up. Jackson didn’t even bother to move from the couch, not wanting to make himself look even more ridiculous by trying to chase the EMT down.

Chase can hear the panic in Jackson’s voice and his stomach sinks, mentally cursing at himself. “You go ahead, they’re on the table.” He mutters to Mishka before moving back towards Jackson, offering his friend a smile. “C’mon, ya don’t need me watchin’ over ya if Mishka’s here. We’re good, I promise. As long as you’re happy, Jackson...that’s all that matters to me, y’know?.” The brunette says, trying to reassure Jackson as best as he could in the moment, carefully giving the other male a one armed hug. “I’m gonna go talk to Mishka real quick, do me a favor and take a deep breath or two? Ya look like you’re about to pass out.” Chase murmurs, protective as ever. Jackson was still Jackson, and who he dated wasn’t gonna change how he saw him. Returning to the kitchen, he grabs the paper, giving it to Mishka to read over. “Alright, sorry. It shouldn’t be too hard ta follow, just make sure the bandage gets changed a coupla times a day. I checked Jackson’s arm out earlier, it looks like it’s healin’ pretty well so far.” He says, unsure whether or not he should bring up the other night or not. Mishka was already panicking, and Chase didn’t want to make it any worse. “You have any questions?”

If he wasn’t in the turmoil of staying here in the present then he probably would’ve stayed in the living room to try and smooth things out. There really, really wasn’t anything to be so freaked out about because he knew that the thing that happened between Chase and him was in the past. Things couldn’t settle at just that though. Of course it couldn’t. Anton merely leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. It wasn’t a defensive pose but rather one that was more geared towards making himself smaller. If that actually worked it’d be a damn miracle, but he knew that it’d never come true. He listened intently to what Chase said, finding the instructions a nice distraction from the constant drone that ran in the back of his mind. “No, um, not really,” he said with a fraction of a shrug as he covered his mouth with a hand. The urge to chew on the insides of his cheeks came up but he pushed past it.

“But, uh, yeah if you want to stick around then that’s fine. If you’re into Cinnamon Toast Crunch then we have a ton of that shit here too.” It was a weak attempt to keep himself out of the caverns of his mind and it didn’t much to make him feel any more positive than before. “I’m just, going to go to the bathroom for a bit, yeah?” For what reason? He had no idea, but it sure as hell didn’t have to do with taking a leek or washing his hands. Actually, a shower sounded pretty great but then his mind quickly countered that with that one time where things went to shit in said shower. Anton just continued to smile tensely as he excused himself. He made sure to smile at Jackson as he passed by, and he really hoped that his boyfriend didn’t pick up on how thin his mental state was in. Again. It was downright embarrassing at this point. He had gone several years without a single break but now he was experiencing them left and right. It was a way for his mind to tell him that he needed to quit running from shit, but he really wanted to just deny that and look the other way. Anton got to the bathroom, and instead of leaving the door cracked open like he usually did, he closed it with a soft click. His to-go reason was because of how weird it might be to leave the bathroom door open while a guest over but that wasn’t the case at all.

Jackson had slumped back against the couch, prepared to accept the fact that Chase was walking out because of what he’d just admitted to, but he sat up again quickly when the other man turned back to him. Honestly, he was a bit surprised by what his friend said, having fully expected...well the exact opposite of acceptance. He couldn’t find his words in the moment, so instead he just nodded and pressed back into the half hug slightly, shifting back when Chase moved towards the kitchen. It took a moment, but he truly couldn’t recall a time when he’d gotten that reaction when coming out to anyone that he wasn’t getting naked with. Jackson settled back onto the couch, doing his best to breathe as Chase had said. He heard the pair talking in the kitchen and a few moments later, Mishka was passing him and heading off to the bathroom. The smile seemed a little...tight, but he didn’t think much into it just yet.

“Mishka...” Chase sighs, running his fingers through his hair slowly. “You don’t have to go anywhere, this is your place too.” If anyone should leave, it should be him, but Mishka has already disappeared down the hall and Chase is left in the kitchen staring at the space where the other man once was. Sighing, he sticks the instructions on the fridge with a magnet before walking back towards Jackson slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew he had to come clean about the kiss, especially now that Mishka walked off. “Hey...I gotta tell ya somethin’, okay? An’ I’m not sayin’ it because I want to make things weird or cause any trouble, but because we’re friends and you should know.” Chase says slowly, letting out a breath slowly. “I don’t know how long you  guys have been together or anythin’...but the other night I ran into Mishka at a club and we went back to my place. We kissed a little, but that’s it, I swear. He started panicking an’ I got him a car to take him home.” The brunette explains, his eyes trained on the floor. “You know I never woulda done anythin’ if I knew about you two...I’d never wanna hurt ya like that, Jackson.”

Jackson had half expected Chase to head out of the apartment, but when the other man reappeared a few moments after Mishka passed by he just assumed his boyfriend had somehow convinced him to stay. His mouth had opened to make a comment on just that when the EMT spoke up first. And the way he was acting...The mannerisms plus the words were enough to make Jackson freeze before the other even finished speaking. Of course he knew about Mishka going out and picking someone up because his boyfriend had admitted to as much. But he’d never said the person he’d nearly had a drunk hook-up with was his best friend. The confession caught him completely by surprise and for a moment he just...sat there, not sure what to do or say.

Finally, Jackson’s brain seemed to kick back in and he shook his head over at Chase. “I-It’s not your fault, Chase. Ya didn’t know,” he said as he looked over at his friend. And that was the truth. He’d made sure to be so paranoid and secretive about Mishka and whatever they were that there was no way he could expect Chase or anyone to just know how he felt. Not to mention the fact that nothing was official until the day after this...encounter had happened. It still didn’t mean he was thrilled about the revelation, but Jackson knew that at the end of the day, the blame rested squarely on his own shoulders. “Thanks for tellin’ me though.”

“I’m still sorry.” Chase mumbles, forcing himself to meet Jackson’s eyes with his after a few moments. He had wanted Mishka to be the one who was honest with Jackson, but he also hadn’t wanted to lie any longer. Jackson was easily his best friend in Atlanta, and he never wanted to hurt him or make things weird between them. “I didn’t wanna be the one to tell ya, but...I didn’t wanna keep it from ya either.” He adds on, sighing heavily. “Look, you should talk to Mishka. We’ll hang out again soon, okay? I promise. But I should get goin’.” Giving Jackson a small smile, Chase heads towards the door, slipping his shoes back on. “I left the instructions on the fridge for you two. Don’t eat all of the cookies in one sittin’, yeah?” He jokes, chuckling softly as he lets himself out, heading back home.

Jackson would admit that maybe the news hadn’t been the easiest to hear, but he was doing his best with it. He just had to keep reminding himself that he and Mishka hadn’t been together and Chase hadn’t known. Still, he couldn’t help the way his stomach dropped a little and his face fell when his friend continued to apologize and shuffled to leave. He wanted to stop him, but at the same time, he knew Chase was right. He needed to talk to Mishka and there was a good chance that the EMT needed to get out himself. “Alright, yeah. Thanks like I said and I’ll see ya later,” he called as he watched Chase slip out the door. He sat on the couch for a few minutes longer, taking deep breaths and trying to figure out exactly how to talk about this with his boyfriend. Finally, Jackson pulled himself up from his seat and padded towards the bathroom. “Mishka? Baby?” he called out as he knocked on the door lightly. “Is everythin’ alright?”

The only question he had running through his mind right now was how he had gotten so weak. Since when did he let this side of him speak up and actually beat him down? He had always been cynical- at least ever since he had learned what sarcasm was and self deprivation, but it had never.. Hurt like this before. Then again, a lot of things hadn’t happened before since he was usually gone and out of any relationship that actually made him feel something. Maybe the reason was because he only had himself to look out for. He had to force himself to be somewhat calloused person he is today because he didn’t have anyone to fall back on, and now that he could he wasn’t sure how to accept it completely. It was new, everything was too new, and it was a moment of weakness that his self loathing self didn’t’ hesitate to jump on.

Anton honestly didn’t hear what Chase and Jackson talked about. He was more focused on taking deep breaths, holding it in and then releasing it. Most of the time he could avoid an episode by controlling how tense his body was. Right now though? It was a little bit more of a struggle than how it usually was. His hands clutched the edge of the sink as he closed his eyes. All he needed to do was just to breathe and it’ll be fine. He didn’t know that Chase was Jackson’s friend. Hell, he didn’t even know that they knew each other, and he tried his best to beat the guilt out of him. Yet, it was easier said than done. The moment he heard a knock on the door he gripped the sink even harder. His knuckles bled white and he cursed at himself for shaking a little. How could anyone want to deal with you? He honestly didn’t know. And yet here you are, still here about three seconds away from crying. Again. Yeah, yeah he was but he still couldn’t bring himself to just barge out and leave town. There wasn’t a single hint of want to do that anymore. He was just stuck in a rut and he didn’t know what to do. Anton ignored the way he winced from the pet name and made sure to suck in a really deep breath this time. “Um.” Amazing, really intelligent there. He couldn’t push another word out as he tried to mentally coach himself into letting go of the sink so he could at least stand upright.  

Jackson waited silently on the other side of the door, doing his best not to fidget. The silence from Mishka was not a good sign. Then again, he didn’t hear sobbing so maybe the lack of sound was better than he thought. His shoulder began to ache out of nowhere and he shifted in his sling, the pain coming from how tense he was. Tense? When had that happened? Honestly, he thought he was handling all this fairly well considering it had come out of nowhere. Sure anger was simmering somewhere under the surface and definitely jealously, but all that was easily missed because of the guilt and the sense that this was all his fault. He should have manned up and handled things differently and then the opportunity for what had happened would never have presented itself.

Jackson’s ear pressed against the door at the mumble, hoping to hear more, but that seemed to be all Mishka had to say in the moment and it worried him. “Mishka, I’m coming in,” he announced as his hand went down to the doorknob. A turn proved the door was unlocked and he pushed it open slowly, wanting to give his boyfriend plenty of time to see him coming. He let out a sigh at the sight of the other man, gripping the sink and looking a bit pale. Immediately, he crossed over, shifting behind Mishka as a hand came up to rub over his arm. “Hey, are you alright, darlin’?”

This had to be the nth time he’s had to tell himself that he’s overreacting but it still didn’t do anything to calm himself down. He heard the door open but he didn’t look over. His eyes stayed closed until he felt his arm get touched. Anton didn’t flinch and he honestly didn’t understand why he even thought that’d be a reaction in the first place. There was a response lodged in his throat but he couldn’t seem to push it out at the moment. So he just proceeded to breathe normally until he felt his throat loosen some. “He tell you?” He asked, voice slightly hoarse from how strained he had been up until this point. There was an awful gnawing sensation in the bottom of his gut from a lot of different reasons that were mashed together, but he tried to keep himself as casual as he could afford to. If Jackson was mad then he wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, he’d be more surprised if he wasn’t mad.

Jackson knew his boyfriend enough to know his tells, knew that he was close to a panic attack and that tears were threatening just from the way his muscles tensed and how his voice seemed almost forced out. His hand continued to soothe over Mishka’s arm as it made it’s way down to close over one of the other’s own that was still gripping the sink with white knuckles. He tugged at the fingers lightly, trying to loosen the hold. “Yeah. He told me he was the guy ya went home with last week,” he answered, his voice calm and maybe even a little softer than normal. Jackson didn’t bother to add in the rest of the details Chase had given them, even if there had been few. Maybe that was for the best because honestly, anymore of a play-by-play would have put an image in his head he wasn’t sure he could handle. It had happened, Mishka and Chase had done whatever they’d done, there was no way around it. And a part of him knew he had no right to be upset about something that had happened in the past before he had a say, so he was doing his best to hold onto that. “But that don’t answer my question. I asked if you were okay, baby boy.”

He couldn’t even try and hold his breath as he waited for an answer since he had to keep breathing unless he wanted to really fall into another break. Just hearing those words come out of Jackson’s mouth sounded so wrong, but he couldn’t help but feel even more sick than before. It took him a few seconds but his fingers started to uncurl from the the hold he had on the sink. Anton opened his eyes a little, just enough to see the physical progress he was making. “Okay enough,” he said after swallowing thickly. Yeah, he was always okay enough. This would pass- it always did eventually and he was honestly so tired of falling in and out of this.

Jackson was patient as he felt Mishka’s fingers slipping away from the sink slowly and he twisted his own in with his boyfriend’s digits lightly. While he had to admit he hated to see the other man like this, it was getting easier for him to know just what to do for him when it happened. He pressed his body against his boyfriend a little more solidly and his chin dropped to rest on Mishka’s shoulder as he tried to catch his gaze in the mirror. “I’m right here with ya, babe. He’s gone, just so ya know. I-I’m sorry I didn’t know and I wouldn’t a’ had him over if I’d have…” His head shook lightly against Mishka’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

It was slightly humorous, in his own shitty reasoning of course, that he felt this bad about what happened. He had gone from sleeping with whoever almost every other night to this single person. The same man that kept easing him out of the current distressed state he was in. He still didn’t understand how Jackson could be this patient and not be fed up with how he acted. The feeling of his boyfriend pressed against him helped. Another deep breath was taken in and he let his eyes close again just so he could try and kick out the shitty feelings and thoughts that had almost dictated his mind. “Not your fault.” It really wasn’t and he wanted to elaborate more on that but he’d get to that later when he could say more than just a few words. “Don’t need to be sorry.” He was the one that should be apologizing but he didn’t want to say that while he couldn’t see. As scary as it could be, he felt like Jackson deserved more than just some half assed apology. His body slowly relaxed as he felt more grounded and stable. The next breath he took ended in a sigh as he opened his eyes all the way. He couldn’t help but look at their reflection. Wow, he looked like shit and he had been just  fine a few minutes ago. Actually, that wasn’t true. He always had some sort of facade on whenever he was outside, but whenever he was here, at home, he let all of that fall away. So this was him. The real him and he still wanted to be scared of how open he was being but he let himself ignore it just so he could relax fully. “I’m sorry.” He had said it before but he still meant it through and through.

Jackson had honestly never found himself in such a situation. His boyfriend--of course that being a new situation for him in and of itself--and his best friend having a history together, however brief it was. He knew that he wasn’t willing to let something like a few kisses ruin either relationship and he could only hope the other two men would feel the same. He kept so few people close, relationships were hard to come by for him so the thought of losing any of the ones he had was not something he wanted to dwell on. He shook his head again at the apologies, catching Mishka’s gaze in the mirror finally and holding it as he moved to press his lips lightly against his boyfriend’s neck. “Everybody’s sorry,” he said, his tone almost sounding light as he shifted back to keep from trapping his boyfriend against the counter more. “But it happened and it can’t be taken back. So everybody’s sorry and that’s good. It’s over though, right? You’re not...interested in Chase, are ya? B-Because if you are, then…”

The urge to just melt into Jackson’s hold was tempting but before he could he felt the other pull back slightly. Then a look of surprise slapped the worried guilt off of his face a second later. It probably looked comical with how wide his eyes went but he craned his head around so he could stare at Jackson face to face. “There’s no fucking way I am,” he said with more strength than he had felt ever since he got back home. “You’re the only one I’m interested in- I only did that because I was fucking drunk and being really fucking stupid and honestly.. I was thinking about you the whole time. It’s the only way I could’ve done it and then I-” And then he went into a full on panic attack and just the thought made him suck in a sharp breath, but he didn’t fall apart again. “And then I panicked and got really sick but I swear I cleaned the toilet after.” It was jarring to go from only being able to say a few words to talking like a madman, but he couldn’t help it.

Jackson’s head spun a little with how fast Mishka seemed to turn around at his words and the sudden swing from near panicking to almost offensive had him blinking to make sure he hadn’t imagined it or the pain pills weren’t fucking with his head again. But his boyfriend was always full of surprises like that, zigging when he expected him to zag. Still, there was a part of him that was...hesitant. He was head over heels for Mishka and had been since the day he’d met him--even if he hadn’t known it then. But Chase...Surely he was better than Jackson. He was older and had more experience and...He let out a sigh, doing his best to stop the flood of his own thoughts. His head was never a good place to get stuck either. His hand came up to rest on Mishka’s chest and he forced his gaze up. “I hate it, alright. I know we weren’t official and I know nothin’ really happened...But you’re mine, Mishka. Chase is my best friend and I hate the thought of even him near ya like that but...I-I’m not mad at anybody but myself.”

Anton almost squinted his eyes at Jackson but he just stared with his brows slightly creased instead. It was nice to feel some contact again, and as much as he wanted to look down and visually reassure himself that this was as real as it felt, he held Jackson’s gaze without faltering. He reached up and covered the other’s hand with his own as he listened. It was surprising just how much he didn’t like to hear that ‘they hadn’t been official’ because there was a big part of him that was used to thinking that they were a pair. Which, again, slightly terrifying but he didn’t question it. It felt like his heart did a kickflip against his rib when he was told that he was Jackson’s, which he totally was, and then he only frowned deeper. “I am yours and I promise you that I don’t see him like that. Only reason that happened was because I was too afraid to let myself want you- to want this, but now that I have it- now that I have you you’re the only person I ever think about. Especially when it comes to kissing and that stuff, like I’m not joking when I say that you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

Jackson shifted his hand on Mishka’s chest to twine their fingers together once more and he moved to bring the back of his boyfriend’s hand up to his lips. It felt good to hear those words, a bit grounding. But he couldn’t help that he still struggled to let the weight of them settle onto him comfortably. Despite so many things, his insecurities were great no matter how much he tried to hide them. “You’re goin’ a lil’ overboard there, baby boy. My ego ain’t that big,” he said as he pressed another kiss to Mishka’s hand before letting it drop down a bit. In truth, he knew that his boyfriend was way more experienced in nearly everything regarding other people and relationships, love and sex. It was embarrassing to admit that out loud, though he was sure Mishka would find it out eventually. “Are we done hidin’ in the bathroom now? I really...wanna go sit or lay down.” Jackson hated admitting that he needed the rest, but he didn’t want to push himself like Chase had warned against.

A smile threatened to come to his lips from having his hand kissed but he kept that firm look on his face. “I’m not doing nearly as much justice as I could be,” he said stubbornly. “But you know mine’s the biggest since I’m so vain and all of that.” And oh look, there came the pessimistic and cynical side of himself again but he didn’t feel like he was being dragged down this time. Anton was back to how he normally was with statements like that and he was thankful for it. A part of him wanted to say that they weren’t hiding in the bathroom, but that was exactly what he had come in here for originally. He just nodded and waited for Jackson to take the lead since he was fine with both options.

“Do we need to whip ‘em out and measure right now?” Jackson teased. Mishka seemed to be feeling better and he definitely wanted to encourage that. What had gone down between Chase and his boyfriend wasn’t great, but it was in the past and he wanted to keep it there. Harping on it would just make everyone miserable. He offered Mishka a small smile as he turned for the door, tugging him along towards the couch. It was more comfortable lately because when he hit the bed, the urge to lay down and stretch out was strong enough to make the mountain of pillows he was exiled to more irritating than they really were. Jackson moved the box of cookies from one of the cushions before urging Mishka up as he settled down back in the spot he’d occupied before. “Are ya hungry? We can order somethin’.”

A soft snort escaped him as he followed after Jackson. “Rather whip something else out and measure,” he mumbled out loud before he could stop himself. Anton actually rolled his eyes at himself because now really wasn’t the time for that. It didn’t occur to him that his responding innuendo was what his boyfriend hinted at but he let it drop from his mind as he arranged himself on the couch. “Always hungry for something.” That he should want to have, and god he was going to bang himself upside the head with a frying pan or something. “But, nah I had lunch earlier on break but you want to order then I’ll eat too.”

Jackson was not the least bit bothered by all of Mishka’s innuendoes. If anything it just told him that his boyfriend was relaxing and feeling better. He settled down and tugged the other closer, tossing a bit of a smirk at the implications. Truth be told, sex hadn’t really been on the agenda...since before the fire. Wow, that realization hit him out of nowhere. Not that it bothered him, really, but Mishka’s teasing made more sense now, even if it wasn’t a conscious thing. “Maybe in a lil’ bit then,” he said as he moved to grab the remotes for the tv. The movement was met with a hiss of pain though because for just a moment he’d forgotten he didn’t have that other hand to use.

Anton merely smiled back tiredly as he leaned in close. It hadn’t been intentional but his lack of filter was in the negative numbers now with how scattered his head had been just a few seconds ago. “M’kay,” he mumbled back right before his eyebrows nearly flew to his hairline from the noise of pain. His hand was already lifted to, well, hover since he didn’t exactly want to reach out and touch the injured arm like he would have done instinctively. Anton leaned forward to get the remote and as he handed it to Jackson he turned towards the man to kiss him on the cheek. “What’d you have in mind?” He asked as he resumed his previous position before Jackson had tried to move.

Jackson let out a huff of frustration both at himself and the alarm on Mishka’s face. He’d get his shit together one day, but hopefully he wouldn’t be stuck like this for much longer. He accepted the remote and the kiss to his cheek soothed the irritation for the moment. Shifting around a little to get comfortable again, he clicked on the tv and began to browse through titles to see if anything caught his eye. After a moment, he settled on one of his boyfriend’s favorite movies and clicked play. “This,” he hummed out, tossing the remote to the table before he reached to tug a blanket down from the back of the couch.

He was thrilled to see what they were going to watch and it managed to pull a bigger smile from him even though he felt like he was about a minute away from falling asleep. Dealing with his emotions and mental health was a lot more tiring than any other physical exertion, but he was happy to spend this time together with Jackson. It seemed like there was always something out there to hit them over the head with bad luck so he was quick to appreciate small moments like this. They could use the rest and they were both healing. Well, it was in their own way, but it was fine. Everything was fine for now and he left it as that.