#and my grandma is feeling very guilty abt it bc she defines her value as a woman (and this is very gendered ofc) thru being of service

[mallahanmoxie]

you guys don't even know how little I want to entertain the concept of being useful as a measure of value. I barely even entertain the concept of value alone as a definer of existence, but just adding usefulness to it like we're stuff... I don't even mean like there's several ways in which a person can be valuable, not just the labour aspect of it, they can provide load-bearing emotional support just by being there etc etc I'm saying they don't have to. Not that it isn't beautiful or welcome or even necessary, or that we don't owe each other nothing. I'm saying it has absolutely no bearing on being and deserving to be, and this is such a basic fucking thing to my understanding of the world that I am baffled by how often you find it goes against people's deep seated beliefs about themselves and others