#and my fucking period started and G O D it is miserable

[yuribalisms]

Oohhhhh today fucking sucks

[plscallmeeren]

P R O L O G U E

My eyes turned to the cool grey shades of winter just beyond the window pane. I couldn't settle on a single glimpse to inspect, so my gaze flitted from one ghost of a plant to the miserably alone woman in the office across from the one I was sitting in. Nothing deserved to be scrutinised. It had to be contemplated, conceptually, as one.

"Miss Crown? Miss Crown? Can you hear me?"

"Yes, doc, I can hear. Now please, indulge me. What do I have to tell me so that you can write on a slip of paper what's wrong with me, tell me to fuck off and then we all live happily ever after?" I didn't look away from the weeping lady or the snow-covered flowers or barren branches.

"I'm not quite that far yet. First, tell me of your life. Include your family and perhaps your closest friends and where they were at the time, but no one else. Chronological, if at all possible." His deeply troubling, trembling hands and glasses so thick he looked like a cartoon character were comically familiar. A doctor through and through. And yet, what did I know of a random psychologist with shaking limbs and incredibly enlarged eyes?

"M'kay", I murmured, still focusing my sight on nothing in particular, just as I intended to for the entire session.

"So, I give you this little summary of Raven and her family's backstory, because neither of us have the time to tell it? That's great. Okay. Here I go, then.

A PHOENIX TIGER STUDIOS PRODUCTION

The Crown family is made up of seven people; Khalil and Marie, and their five children, who are, from oldest to youngest, called Raven - as you very well know -, Miriam, Evangeline, and the twins Brynn and Favian.

WITH NETFLIX

I was born in the same year as my friend Eddie - 1966 - to a happy, newly wedded couple in California." I chuckled wryly and could almost see the doctor look up from the paper he was scribbling on fervently until then. California, baby, you heard it.

DIRECTED BY

"In 1967 Billy Hargrove was born to a loving mother and problematic father, if you know what we mean, although he kept his distance from his son, also in California, at the beach... nowhere near me though. Man, if he had been nearby, things might've went differently.

THE DUFFER BROTHERS

Miriam was born in 1969, both our parents and me delighted to have her as she was welcomed into the world. Sometime after this, however, Marie - our mother - started having an affair. I used to think it ridiculous, but I didn't get life yet, I don't think. Hadn't gotten the hang of it.

EXCECUTIVE PRODUCERS SHAWN LEVVY, DAN COHEN, BRIAN WRIGHT AND MORE

This... came to light when Evangeline, or Evan, or Angel, as we like to call her, was born in 1972, neither of Algerian nor European ethnicity. Upon this revelation, Khalil... dad... began drinking, soon falling into the common addiction.

CINEMATOGRAPHY BY TIM IVES, TOD CAMPBELL, LACHLAN MILNE, DAVID FRANCO, RICARDO DIAZ

In 1978, the twins - Favian and Brynn - were born, also not as his children. His alcohol problem only worsened, his person tending to long periods of depression due to this, making him practically unavailable to anyone. Marie's anger at the world and her... her life... had long come to light, especially me suffering from her issues as I was often... hit? Yelled at? Blamed? It doesn't feel like I'm doing it justice. Around this time - I hope you don't mind my controversial religion, doc -, I turned to Wicca, beginning our study of witchcraft. Sounds scary, doesn't it? Anyway.

EDITORS DEAN ZIMMERMANN, KEVIN D. ROSS, NAT FULLER, KATHERYN NARANJO

Marie waited until the twins no longer required breastfeeding - funny, isn't it? -, abandoning the family few months after they were born. Khalil- dad... continued drinking, only just managing to earn money, albeit little, otherwise unable to look after the kids. Due to this, at... twelve, maybe? Barely. We was already the main paternal figure in the kids' lives. Yay, am I right?

21 LAPS ENTERTAINMENT

That same year - 1979 - we moved to Hawkins, where we only just got by, the eldest - that'd be us - working whenever I could aside from my school life... that included babysitting Johnathon for a while, who is... Right. Chronological. This was also the year Billy moved to Hawkins, as well as Eddie lost his parents, moving in with his uncle Wayne. Crazy, how that happens, ain't it, hon'?

MONKEY MASSACRE PRODUCTIONS

1980 - great times - Eddie and us first shared classes together in eighth grade, the former continuously flirting with me, making up the most of our relationship. However, I was too preoccupied with my chores to consider romance, to be completely honest. This was also the time I actually befriended Johnathon, the two of us soon coming to call ourselves best friends. Then again, we were also each other's only friends, for that matter, apart from maybe Eddie, on my behalf. At this age I was also convinced by my fuck-wit of a sister to go see a free psychologist in order to get diagnosed with Anxiety. Or, well, so it seems."

I fell silent, the scribbling continuing. My head filled with useless visions of past, present and future.

UPSIDE DOWN PICTURES

In 1981 Billy and I meet and start dating. This only comes to be because Billy quickly grows to be emotionally dependant on me, my idiocy immediately realising this and feeling I owed my compassion to him, although I soon balanced the relationship out as it became less and less one-sided. At this time, I was 14, Billy being 13 - one year younger than me. Stupid, how that bothered me so damn much. Eddie continued to flirt with me relentlessly, causing much drama, the dynamic lasting all the way into the year of '83.

WRITTEN BY EREN

At the end of this year, however, Khalil passes away, leaving the children in my hands and with not enough money to survive. The twins had barely gotten prepared for first grade.

WITH INSPIRATION AND PHOTOS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

For this reason, before the next school year could start in 1984, I drop out, Billy consequently breaking up with me over apparent 'prioritising my siblings over him'. Motherfucker, I even believe it. At this time, Eddie and I had both just finished eleventh grade, though Eddie had to repeat. Searching desperately for a well-paid job, Jim Hopper discovered my troubles and offered me a spot at the station as a nurse, the eighteen-year-old me slowly passing more and more tests from afar so that I could be paid as a real nurse. Upon my father's death I fought to adopt my siblings now that I was an adult, social services agreeing reluctantly because it was easiest and there was no way they could all stay together if they were brought into the system, especially in the times of the Cold Wars.

WE ARE PROUD TO PRESENT

In 1985 this life continued, Eddie now in twelfth grade, Billy dropping out of school for a year due to Max and Susan's presence. In this year, Eddie and I both turned 20, Billy aged 18 to 19, Miriam was 16, Evangeline 13 and the twins seven. For two years already Evan had been a part of the group including Mike, Will, Lucas and Dustin, although she was unaware of... something. She befriended Max better than anyone, the two labelling themselves best friends within months.

STARRING JOSEPH QUINN AND SOFIA BOUTELLA

I finally tore my gaze away from the small birds chirping in the freezing haze outside upon hearing my name called out to me. The doctor sat with one leg perched on another, his eyes now seeming abnormally small as he had removed his glasses and was looking at me, rather bewildered.

"Yes?"

"I just have a question", he stuttered, almost shy all of a sudden, "Why... You keep saying 'we' or 'us' instead of 'I'... Why is that? You sound like you believe not to be alone?"

A smirk crept upon my lips at understanding searching for me, getting lost on the way and diving down a rabbit-hole to madness.

"Oh, doc, didn't you know?

We are never alone."

STRANGER THINGS: SOUL TRADE

[purplesurveys]

1149

A

What is your age? 22, but there’s less than a month to go before I turn 23.

What annoys you? Literally every single person who still supports the government at this point. For context, we are back to square one and we’re under the exact same quarantine imposed in March 2020 because of the surge in cases. Nothing has changed and nothing has been done in the last 365 days while people are getting hungrier and poorer. I’m done feeling hopeful for this country and I cannot wait to abandon it forever.

Do you have any allergies? Apparently, grass. Can’t be exposed to it for too long otherwise the skin on my thighs turn red and occasionally even get rashes.

B

Do you know anyone named Billy? Kind of, but they’re girls with their name spelled as Billie.

When is your birthday? April 21st and spending it in quarantine once again this year...

Who is your best friend(s)? Angela and Andi.

C

What's your favorite candy? I like gummy bears and worms. As for sweets, I really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Twix, and the Hershey’s Cookies and Creme bar.

When was the last time you cried? Maybe a day or two ago while watching a snippet from Caught in Providence.

Have you been out of the country? Yes.

D

Do you daydream? Not so much these days. I’ve been better at keeping my focus at work.

What's your favorite kind of dog? I love alllllll dogs, but I’d usually be wary of smaller dogs because 87% of the times I’ve met some, they’re aggressive or a bit moody. I don’t like stereotyping dogs as much as possible but because I’ve had direct experiences to back it up anyway, *shrug*

What day of the week is it? It’s a Sunday.

E

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached, or an omelette with lots of fillings. Balut is also great.

Have you ever been in the emergency room? Only when I was born, I’m guessing.

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Idk, what comes easy to me might not be the same for others. But my answer would be to smile, regardless if it were genuine or otherwise.

F

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yeah, many times. The child-like excitement I get whenever I get on one will probably never go away, either.

Do you use fly swatters? No, my mom usually uses old shoebox covers or rolled-up scratch papers we have lying around to swat them.

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only in video games lol, never in real life.

G

Have you pet a goat? I don’t think I have. I’ve pet lots of animals before but I don’t think a goat has been one of them yet.

Are you a giver or a taker? Giver, but I’ve been allowing myself to take more these days.

Do you like gummy candies? Love them.

H

How are you? We’ve entered summer weather now, so I feel hot and miserable. It’s also Sunday and I am stuck at home, which doesn’t make me the happiest camper.

What's your height? 5′1″ or a tiny tiny tiny bit taller than that.

What color is your hair? It’s black but on extremely rare occasions I’ll catch a single light brown strand when I play with my hair.

I

What's your favorite ice cream? Cookies and cream and chocolate chip cookie dough. My friend Leigh actually started her own ice cream shop recently and I bought her coffee crumble ice cream, and it is sooooooooo fuckinggggggggg good??????? It’s so rare to find coffee ice cream where I live period, so I’m fucking stoked to have a close friend who makes literally the best one and in generous servings too.

Have you ever ice skated? Many times as a kid. I was never formally trained, but it was something I wanted to try from watching other kids play in mall ice skating rinks; and when I did give it a shot, I ended up enjoying it. Luckily my mom was encouraging and actually frequently dropped me off at a rink so I can practice gliding and all for a few hours while she ran errands.

Have you cheated the IRS? That’s like an American tax thingy, right? We don’t have that here and my employer handles my TIN.

J

What's your favorite jelly bean? Not a big fan but if I had to have Jelly Belly, I obviously would want to get the pleasant-tasting ones.

Do you tell jokes? Yes.

Do you wear nice jewelry? Only on special occasions.

K

Do you want to kill anybody? I don’t want to kill anybody but I certainly wish a good number of public officials would finally die.

Do you want to have kids? Yes. I really wish I could still have a future with them. Thanks for the trauma, my real asshole of an ex.

Where did you have kindergarten? Somewhere.

L

Are you laidback? I doubt my friends would use this to describe me. I for sure lean more towards the uptight side of the spectrum.

Do you lie? Eh, occasionally.

When is the last time you sent a hand-written letter? I have no idea. Christmas 2019 maybe?

M

Ever talked in a microphone? Sure. Many times.

Do you still watch Disney Movies? I very rarely get in the mood for them if I’m by myself, but yes, I’d gladly sit down and watch should an opportunity come.

Do you like mangoes? No.

N

Do you have a nickname? 99% of people call me Robyn while my family calls me Byn, but there are a select few friends who’ve stayed long enough with me to catch other names I’ve gotten over the years, which have since become inside jokes/nicknames. There’s Reben and Rolayn, and literally just yesterday ‘Roby’ happened when I ordered food for lunch so that will probably catch on as well.

What’s your favorite number? 4.

Do you prefer night over day? Absolutely.

O

Are you an only child? No, I’m two siblings away from that status.

Do you wish this was over? I haven’t felt that way, no.

What is the closet orange object near you? An orange tumbler my Kuya gave me as a Christmas gift in 2019. There is also orange tape wrapped around the charger adaptor of my company laptop.

P

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Waking up in the middle of surgery and being unable to speak nor move.

Do you play any instruments? Nope.

Do you think you are pretty? Some days.

Q

Are you quick to judge people? No, unless they are already blatantly showing their character like being rude towards service staff, tossing their trash to the ground, or cutting in queues. Whenever those things happen I give myself the space and freedom to guiltlessly judge.

What do you keep quiet about? How dysfunctional my family really is, and the things I really want to say about Gabie.

Do you have any quirks? Food-wise, I like peeling off the breading from fried chicken and placing them on the side of my plate so I can eat them last, because they’re my favorite part.

R

What’s a good reason to cry? Frustration. Crying can be really helpful in lessening stress.

Do you think you're always right? No.

Do you watch reality TV? Not religiously, but I love watching snippets of reality shows on Facebook because they’re all so embarrassing and it’s hilarious to watch hahahahah. Literally last night I was watching clips of Big Ed on 90 Day Fiance.

S

Are you a social person? More so now than I was years ago.

What states have you lived in? I lived in Manila briefly but it didn’t take long till we transferred to another city for a more peaceful life in the suburbs.

What is your favorite season? I wanna say winter because of what I’ve seen from it in movies and shows, but I’ve never actually experienced it before.

T

When did you last sleep in a tent? Sometime in March or April last year.

Do you like tomatoes? Mostly in diced form. Tomato sauce is fine but I don’t really like it in my pasta. Bloody Mary also tastes rather awful.

What time did you wake up? 8:30 AM.

U

Do you have an umbrella in your car? I think so, yeah. I finally placed one in there lmao.

Do listen to Usher? Eh, not really. 2000s R&B isn’t my thing, save for Beyoncé.

Describe the underwear your wearing? It’s light blue.

V

What’s the worst veggie? I never learned to like pechay. I’d still eat it, but only because I like cleaning up my entire plate.

Do you like movies with violence? Some. Like I hate action movies but I enjoyed A Clockwork Orange and Scream lol.

Where do you want to go on vacation? I recently bookmarked an Airbnb in Zambales and the accommodation is basically this super cute line of tipi-styled huts by the beach. I'd love to have a solo trip push through once this Covid mess subsides.

W

Ever been on a wave runner? No.

Where do you work? I work in a PR company.

Do you wish on stars? Just sometimes.

X

Have you ever had an x-ray? Only for mandatory medical exams.

Do you own a xylophone? I think I had a toy one as a kid, but it’s not with me anymore.

Have you watched the x-games? No, not interested.

Y

What did you do yesterday? I stayed at home; ordered food for Angela as a surprise; debated if I should buy a pair of Air Maxes – and ultimately decided I’ve already spent too much this month to deserve a new pair of shows lol; and just settled to buy a new night lamp for my bedroom. I also watched the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night and ate more of Leigh’s ice cream while doing work.

Do you like the color yellow? Only in mustard yellow. I also like the song Yellow, heh.

What year were you born?: 1998.

Z

Do you believe in the zodiac? No.

Has your bank account been at zero? No. I remember when I was first opening my own account at the bank and the clerk told me to make sure I don’t go below P2,000, and my intensely by-the-book ass has been following the rule ever since, even though my dad has told me it’s absolutely fine to go below it so long as I have P2,000 back in the account after a month hahaha.

Ever been to the zoo? A few.

[baekhvuns]

Omg I forgot to answer earlier 🤡

I don't know enough NCT bsides to form an opinion, maaaaaaybeeeee I'll listen to them one day. I listened to a few from the latest NCT U album, I think I like U's titles the most. I like Next Level much more than Savage, both songs have cool parts like I said they just don't always work together well and I like Savage more when I listen to it on speakers not headphones, lmaooo. But I liked their debut a lot, Black Mamba made me intrigued but then uhmm... did you hear their pre-released track? The song is pretty good but the beginning with yummy and tummy and all the slurping???!!! I'm UNCOMFORTABLE

Someone had a MILF sign at Woosung's concert!? It was great, but the show was so short like only an hour, but he came to my city so I didn't mind

About dark concepts, give me some dark angels, wings etc. Dreamcatcher and Pixy are doing great with the witchy and creepy stuff, now that would make those antis properly scared lolol. And judging by Black Cat Nero Ateez can deliver disturbing shit! I wouldn't mind them going more emo than hard-hitting EDM, but if they do I wanna hear rock or pop punk, something in the style of TXT's releases from last year, because the songs were still hype.

Yeah even my feet hurt during period it's awful. AK... why my first thought was about AK (Kalashnikov) idydisjdhhshs that one would help for sure 😭😭😭😭 for some reason I can't read smut while on my period, because the mood is just not there you know? Like I'm suffering and can't think about sex stuff, because I want my uterus G O N E

Rip, you could've had your Y/N moment 😔 Imo we should we able to hibernate during winter

Well sorry to Y/N's dad but it is what it is, you hired a bodyguard for your daughter and his guarding her body every night 🤗

Accidental murder framing 🤔 I like it but I don't like it...🧍🏼‍♀️

Yes bad girl x bad boy aka the worst people together - the worst in a bastardy way not literally toxic and awful, just dumb sad kids with issues. I can definitely see them in a prestigious school, even uni and everyone's like WHY ARE YOU THERE because they do not study and fail everything lmaoo, but rich parents and parental issues. <3 it would work in a regular school too, but this idea is more angsty because instead of being awful but popular, they could both be outcasts with problems 😩

NOT LIKE A BEAST 😭 because I picture them transforming into the Beat from Beauty and the Beast or some shit 🔫🔫🔫🔫 I know people are into monster-fucking but let's not go there!

Seonghwa's father simp vibes, from the phone conversations and letters I saw from his mum she sounds as sweet as Hwa. But I think my favourite Ateez mother is Wooyoung's, that lady is T I R E D and so funny 😆 I mean she has 3 sons I can't blame her

Imagine if Kboo was like a "proper" newspaper we would come to work, sit at our little cubicle work stations and write about Seonghwa every day 🤡 what a job. I once had an internship at Metro one of UK's trashu newspaper - dark times but I had no choice - and worked as a beta

I didn't wake up specifically for Hwa's live, but I stayed awake for him, hsysiwhdjahaysyqq. I wonder if he would be the same if there weren't thousands of people watching him, we know he can get frustrated and start throwing stuff. He still does that in tiny. But what a saint with great patience, ahhahaha.

ASMR Hwa is good boy x bad girl for sure. Imagine him being the top student, then a new student Y/N arrives and he's like 😍😍😍 I CAN FIX HER, but he would act "tough" to make an impression and fail miserably

I don't know Baek, first try to win over miss Tiny then we can see how it goes... I can't believe I called Seonghwa my son, please let's move on!!!

NERD HWA WHEN YOU ASK? NERD HWA WHEN I ASK?!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CeTWiErt7Kf/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 😩❤

- DV 💖

hi hello!!

I don't know enough NCT bsides to form an opinion, maaaaaaybeeeee I'll listen to them one day. I listened to a few from the latest NCT U album, I think I like U's titles the most. I like Next Level much more than Savage, both songs have cool parts like I said they just don't always work together well and I like Savage more when I listen to it on speakers not headphones, lmaooo. But I liked their debut a lot, Black Mamba made me intrigued but then uhmm... did you hear their pre-released track? The song is pretty good but the beginning with yummy and tummy and all the slurping???!!! I'm UNCOMFORTABLE

nct u has some rly good songs! dream also does beat box is rly good but main 127 one are usually a hit or miss for me 😭😭 i rec rainbow by nct dream and magic carpet ride by nct127 so good the nice r&b <33 YEAH DEF NEXT LEVEL WAS A BOP I BE DOING THE DANCE EVERY TWO SECS okay omg black mamba was a lit debut it was debuted when everyone was doing the same things and aespa just shifted it entirely I DID YES THE YUMMY THREW ME OFF BUT THE SONG IS GOOD IM JUST FBWNFH NOT GONNA LISTEN TO IT

Someone had a MILF sign at Woosung's concert!? It was great, but the show was so short like only an hour, but he came to my city so I didn't mind

HRKWHDKWHDWK NO WAY GOTTA GO TO HIS CONCERTS 😭😭 also svt concert, one ticket. $700. one of my friends went to the olivia rodrigo concert here and it was right after the grammy’s and someone had the sign “did v (bts) smell good? <3 <3” SHE NEVER RESPONDED

About dark concepts, give me some dark angels, wings etc. Dreamcatcher and Pixy are doing great with the witchy and creepy stuff, now that would make those antis properly scared lolol. And judging by Black Cat Nero Ateez can deliver disturbing shit! I wouldn't mind them going more emo than hard-hitting EDM, but if they do I wanna hear rock or pop punk, something in the style of TXT's releases from last year, because the songs were still hype.

yes yes give uS THE CULT DO IT GO SO DARK THAT WE CANT BREATHE and pls if the lyrics are like dissing antis >>>>> EXACTLY THEY CAN ABSOLUTELY BEGGING FOR THEM TO DO IT WITH THE CREEPY ASS MUSIC TONE 😮‍💨😩 omg yes txt does some of the best rock in kpop truly so so good !!!!

Yeah even my feet hurt during period it's awful. AK... why my first thought was about AK (Kalashnikov) idydisjdhhshs that one would help for sure 😭😭😭😭 for some reason I can't read smut while on my period, because the mood is just not there you know? Like I'm suffering and can't think about sex stuff, because I want my uterus G O N E

NO WAY???? BESTIE ARE U GOOD DID U GET IT??? 😭😭😭🤚🏼 NO I GET IT SMUT IS THE LAST THING I THINK OF but when its near the end of the cycle im suddenly reading every single one fbsndbd

Rip, you could've had your Y/N moment 😔 Imo we should we able to hibernate during winter

I COULDVE 😭😭😭 SOME RICH SENIOR COULDVE HELPED ME UP 😭😭😭 we absolutely should, we are bears.

Well sorry to Y/N's dad but it is what it is, you hired a bodyguard for your daughter and his guarding her body every night 🤗

THE WAY I SCREAMED AND LAUGHED MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN AND ALL FHWKFJQKDHWKDBWM so true, his absolute fault to put hwa as her guard, absolutely his fault if she starts to like him <33 BFWNBDK its rly crazy writing it bc the tension they have is insane, he cannot absolutely do ANYTHING but she’s like “why are u scared bro go for it!!”

Accidental murder framing 🤔 I like it but I don't like it...🧍🏼‍♀️

Yes bad girl x bad boy aka the worst people together - the worst in a bastardy way not literally toxic and awful, just dumb sad kids with issues. I can definitely see them in a prestigious school, even uni and everyone's like WHY ARE YOU THERE because they do not study and fail everything lmaoo, but rich parents and parental issues. <3 it would work in a regular school too, but this idea is more angsty because instead of being awful but popular, they could both be outcasts with problems 😩

GIRL U KNOW WHAT I WILL WRITE IT IM RLY AN INTRIGUED BY IT !!! a prestigious school and they’re the outcasts from rich families who expect way to much from them but don’t know what their kids do at school,,, “why tf are u at my hiding place” “you’re at mine” “did u fail again? lol” “didn’t you get a 2/10?” absolutely this, i will absolutely write this. yes yes.

NOT LIKE A BEAST 😭 because I picture them transforming into the Beat from Beauty and the Beast or some shit 🔫🔫🔫🔫 I know people are into monster-fucking but let's not go there!

LMFAOOOO BRKWDHWK THE BEAST ALWAYS MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM NAURRR FURRY KINK 😭😭😭 YEAH LETS NOT GO THERE

Seonghwa's father simp vibes, from the phone conversations and letters I saw from his mum she sounds as sweet as Hwa. But I think my favourite Ateez mother is Wooyoung's, that lady is T I R E D and so funny 😆 I mean she has 3 sons I can't blame her

absolutely his father is seonghwa’s idol in romance absolutely omg SHE RLY DOES 😭😭 she seems like she makes those cute little things and doodles and what not and thats where hwa gets it from 😭😭 LMFAOOOO MISS EUNKYUNG BESTIE IS TIRED 3 BOYS AND A HUSBAND GIRLIE WOULD BE SO MF HAPPY WHEN HER KIDS GET MARRIED SO A GIRL COMES IN THE HOUSE 😭😭😭😭 woo and kyungmin def the problem child <3 their house must’ve been so chaotic raising them

Imagine if Kboo was like a "proper" newspaper we would come to work, sit at our little cubicle work stations and write about Seonghwa every day 🤡 what a job. I once had an internship at Metro one of UK's trashu newspaper - dark times but I had no choice - and worked as a beta

u have the coolest jobs ever?????? omg??? NO FR ID COME TO WORK EVERYDAY IF IVE TO WRITE FOR HWA ANYDAY

I didn't wake up specifically for Hwa's live, but I stayed awake for him, hsysiwhdjahaysyqq. I wonder if he would be the same if there weren't thousands of people watching him, we know he can get frustrated and start throwing stuff. He still does that in tiny. But what a saint with great patience, ahhahaha.

“stayed awake for him” the shinestar dedication 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO OH ABSOLUTELY I JUST WANNA SEE HIM LOOSE HIS SHIT COMPLETELY like when he yelled @ hongjoong to “stop it!” in the thanxx concept photos 😩😩😮‍💨

ASMR Hwa is good boy x bad girl for sure. Imagine him being the top student, then a new student Y/N arrives and he's like 😍😍😍 I CAN FIX HER, but he would act "tough" to make an impression and fail miserably

YES ABSOLUTELY !!!! I CAN FIX HER FBWMFJWKB HE���S THE PICK ME FOR HER stop i will write this, he’s to tour her around while she does not rly care but she finds herself caring in the little things he does AND WHEN HE GETS BULLIED (??) IF HE DOES THE WAY SHE WOULD FIGHT HANDS ON ITS ON-SITE and then he patches her wounds ☺️

I don't know Baek, first try to win over miss Tiny then we can see how it goes... I can't believe I called Seonghwa my son, please let's move on!!!

LMFAOOOO SWEET HOME ALABAMA ANON???? WITH UR SON???? BFNWBDKW

NERD HWA WHEN YOU ASK? NERD HWA WHEN I ASK?! https://www.instagram.com/p/CeTWiErt7Kf/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 😩❤

gOD 😭😭😭 WHEN IS IT OUR TURN TO BE HAPPY AND BE WITH HIM 😭🤚🏼🔫 HE LOOKS SO SOFT AND DOMESTIC 😭😭

also,,

i also found a new manhwa and have to share the main lead.

😀😀🙂

[aeroknot]

k so some ns headcanon as requested by @spaceygayroses​

i pulled them from my long-as-fuck (like 700 chapters long) google doc but almost every one of those is like..... paragraphs long!! so i chose shorter ones!!

.....surprising to absolutely no one, i have no self-control when it comes to these two

a ) When naruto met sakura

b ) A mere few, fast weeks into dating, they have a discussion in the early evening about telling friends and family, and they agree to do it the next day. After finally coming up for air during their celebratory makeout session, she tries to shove him out the door to get on with their evening plans, she having to go to work. Deep down she’s amused that as she keeps ending kisses and pulling away, he keeps dazedly following after her with his mouth, not even opening his eyes. She gets persuaded back into it a few times. when a neighbor’s door slams she’s knocked out of their reverie and tells him to stop being a giddy schmuck and go! and laughs as he exaggeratedly swoons down the hallway of her apartment complex (well, she thinks he’s purposefully exaggerating, but he’s not, he’s authentically that mushy / dramatic) At like 1am she wakes up to boisterous noise outside and goes to her balcony to find naruto and kiba and shikamaru, all pretty inebriated tho actually the latter two more so than the former (he’s just using inebriation as a cover), and naruto’s standing on the gate at the edge of the little apartment yards singing songs he’s making up as he goes about how happy he is, crowing about dating his precious sakura-chan. She leans over the edge of the balcony and starts shaking her fist at him and scolding them and he just does the will smith pose and motions to her and shouts at kiba and shikamaru “DO YOU SEE HER!! HAVE YOU EVER MET MY GIRLFRIEND!!!” and they are just guffawing. Sakura hisses “naruto!! My neighbors!!” and he slurs, “awwww fuck ‘em!! One of ‘em slamming their door’s why i’m down here instead of up there loving you! I saved their asses, so they can just deal with me appreciating yours!!” and she just goes “YOU ARE.. SUCH A DUMB. ASS.” “yeah, but i get to be YOUR dumbass!!” “......I’m coming down to get you before Kakashi sics ANBU on you” and they all fully expect he’s done for as they watch her march out the stairwell resolutely, her speed increasing, but then she smiles while she jumps the gate even tho it’s not that tall and hops onto him, her legs around his waist, his hands supporting her under her thighs, and they alternate between laughing giddily and kissing

c ) they get married a month or so after his inauguration, which means HE’S the hokage that legalizes the marriage papers with his signature. and i just like to think… perhaps naruto is still his usual emotional self during the ceremony and does cry in happiness a bit during their vows… but he gets super sappy / sobby when alone in his office and signing the marriage papers as hokage. that’s…. that’s embodying both of his oldest dreams IN ONE MOMENT.

d ) they adopt twice, their first and last kids (of five): first is Arashi, last is Namika -- both names that reference Minato. Arashi asked them to rename him; he was six-ish when they adopted him. Namika’s name referencing Minato actually happens to be coincidence. she’s Shinachiku’s classmate and her parents are killed shortly after they graduate the academy :’( they give her a place to stay and it turns into adoption.

Arashi was shy and quiet with most people. he makes Naruto think of both Minato and Sasuke. Arashi was intimidated by Sasuke at first, but they become real close. Kurama loves Arashi bc he’s clever as fuck and adores studying history. Arashi has insecure attachments and is distrustful/distant for a while but when he’s older becomes a natural leader of his peers (tho sometimes even then can still seem distant). he has a very strong sense of justice like his parents. 

Namika is the perfect blend of chill and motivated. she’s so chill she gets along with all of the siblings. in fact she’s the only one without problems with anybody: shinachiku and sakuya butt heads, and arashi and konohana go at it all the time. while those four are shoved into get-along shirts naruto and sakura cuddle namika really exaggeratedly and joke about the exhausting nature of her siblings

e ) the kiddos kiss kurama good morning (naruto’s tummy)

f ) predictably, he takes every chance he gets to kiss sakura’s forehead, particularly right on her seal (he likes to kid around about her seal and say “sakura-chan, geez, you went through all that trouble training just for this tiny little target for my kiss”). she’s a little bashful, or kinda harumphs when he does it in public or when she’s miffed at him. then their kids notice, first realized by one of the youngest ones, and start copying him, as kids do: learning by imitating their parents. from there on out she’s often in tears or very near tears when they do this.

g ) it’s affection like this that grips her heart with gratefulness to be with him. he is continuously providing all she needs for her insecurities to be soothed and her dreams to be encouraged. these expressions of love are so deeply tailored to how he can best adore all that makes her, her. she sometimes can't believe how every expression of his love is permeated with his intense understanding of who she is, what she wants, often in ways so breathtakingly simple, honest and ingenuous that she wonders if he even consciously realizes the perfect appropriateness of his gestures.

h ) They are constantly hiding ink & brushes & markers from their youngest children bc in addition to mimicking forehead kisses, they’re constantly drawing on each other’s faces to give each other mommy’s “sparkle beauty sticker” and daddy’s “fox-marks” … which…. Unfortunately sometimes they pronounce as “fucks-marks” and naruto kinda…. Shrugs and makes a face like he’s conceding they might have a point (as in marks that once “fucked over” village approval of him)…. sakura’s horrified But she still laughs really hard when he starts calling any scratches he receives from their lovemaking “fucks-marks”

i ) if anyone makes the mistake of saying something particularly negative or abhorrent about naruto in front of her, especially if they’re insulting his suitability as hokage, she’s so incensed she can’t guarantee they’re gonna live to regret it. ...ok, sooo… she can’t and doesn’t actually maim or kill a fellow konoha citizen or any stuck-up diplomats... but damn is the confrontation and reprimand so scary; it’s like she flays their soul so deeply they have no shreds with which to hide their worst sins, guaranteeing no god would ever allow them into any heaven.

j ) naruto has to excuse himself every time sakura takes her gloves off with her teeth

k ) she loves to wash and pamper him. she doesn’t have an explanation for it, really. it can be but doesn’t always become sexual, but of course it’s always intimate. it’s not like a critique on him, finding him too dirty or something (he’s dirty, but usually in the ways she likes), she just really enjoys this avenue for expressing her affection. she likes preparing relaxing baths for him, or shampooing and rinsing his hair. she likes running her hands along his muscles, rubbing oils and lotions into his skin. she even likes to give him gentle little facial treatments if he’s in the mood to let her. (spoiler alert: he’s practically always in the mood to let her.)

l )  this vision came to me on a drive home form work: sakura on her period and being pretty damn miserable as far as cramping went. And she like…  has her arm over her eyes as she’s laying on her back on the bed and bemoaning her situation; she laments that she left her heat pack somewhere or let someone borrow it or something. So naruto just… takes his shirt off and gingerly lays across her, so they’re perpendicular with his stomach resting on hers. And she’s just like “what on earth are you doing” and he nonchalantly replies, “eh… I run hot. I’ll be your heating pad, Sakura-chan ♥”-- .. is… is there like, evidence the kyuubi chakra can make his temperature warm even if he’s not using it to fight?? Idk. either that or he just really does run hot, which makes sense because he is made of sunshine after all. “holy hell it actually helps. The heat along with the pressure” “yep I’m good for hot pressure” he winks at her and she rolls her eyes but is blushing. and so he just… provides his services pretty regularly from that point on. When this popped into my head I laughed for a full three minutes

m ) they both look young for a very long time, much to sooooo many people’s jealous chagrin. this is not bc I don’t like older features on them or want them to be ~~ooh~~~awww~~always the typical version of hotness~~~ it’s bc I legitimately think they both would appear youthful for longer than others bc of their chakra stores, etc. sakura’s would not be as intentional as tsunade’s, but it would still be an obvious side effect, and naruto is, well, naruto: I bet his uzumaki longevity is boosted by the demon chakra… plus his entire soul is youthful tbh

n ) they regularly visit orphanages together, bearing gifts and stories and their kind companionship. it amazes villagers-- how much their hokage and their head medic-nin, love their people. later in life they foster kids. (oh-- they had fostered two before immediately afterward fostering then adopting arashi)

o ) their first kiss is at Ichiraku’s (this hc is one’o those written in paragraphs but this is... the succinct version lmao)

p ) sakura finds the ring. she proposes. he’s so relieved and elated when she does especially because she isn’t mad he delayed (she actually is never harping him about it or lamenting/venting to her friends that they’re not engaged). she goes the grand scale public route. it’s a little unlike her, but she wants to reinforce in his mind and heart that she absolutely wants him, and wants the world to know it

q ) one of their really big fights happens when sakura is nominated as a hokage candidate. (this is also long paragraphs in the doc but i’ll try to summarize askjdlkj; -- update: i DID shorten it even tho it doesn’t seem it alskfjlaks)

she surpasses tsunade in every way: she fucking attains sage mode via wood style because why the hell wouldn’t she kishimoto??? (and i don’t CARE if people are poking holes in this, I will patch them up! let her be amazing--in other words let her be HER and the HEROINE she’s always been evolving into! why be a wet blanket when you can love women in manga? Tim Gunn voice: MAKE IT WORK!) (alsooo you know what I went and re-read this and it dawned on me this person wrote “should have,” not necessarily that she could one day develop this ability post-actual-canon. So I guess the headcanon is that Kishimoto liked women / her and gave her this arc from the beginning and all the details required to necessitate this development were actually present in the story). everyone admires the skills she’s exhibited running the hospital, and because she’s a war hero who is constantly at a major hospital and cures/saves people on the daily -- basically communicating that saving and protecting others is her life’s work -- a lot of citizens know her and really like and respect her... other reasons, etc., moving along tho-- 

naruto never thought his dream could ever be threatened or usurped by one of his most fierce and steadfast supporters. but…. He really loves her. And he’s so proud of her. And so he seriously considers refusing it if they choose him, so it would likely fall to her, or just flat-out taking his name out of the running so it’s not even a choice. It is in part self-sacrifice, but not merely; he respects her; reveres her strength and leadership; agrees she’s been indispensable and reliable for so long, and has worked so hard...  and, geez, he often thought HE was an underdog?? His life’s been no picnic, he’s worked incredibly fucking hard to get through things and evolve to his current station... but, well… his future wife has overcome so much to gain her status and prove herself, too, with as much effort as him, and while she did have teachers on the same level as him, she performed all her heroism with signiiiificantlllyyy less prophetic/demon/bloodline inertia to get her here (and by less we facetiously mean: none).

she’s pissed he’d even consider walking away from this goal. he tries to explain, “sakura. you’ve been my dream, too, for just as long.” it takes an emotional night -- mostly with her pleading for him to understand that she doesn’t want him to and is so sorry she’s ever made him feel like martyring himself is the only way to get her to acknowledge his devotion -- to settle it all. but yeah. he becomes hokage. a GOOD hokage.

r ) i love the idea of kurama just one day smugly bringing to their attention their shared connection to mito (i hc that mito developed the seal technique tsunade and sakura have) “naruto? what’s he saying? what does he mean?” “well, uh… y’know how baachan’s uzumaki mito’s granddaughter? and mito was kurama’s jinchuuriki before my mom? uh… what he’s saying is… mito developed the byakugou by accessing some of his chakra. so… that means…” and she finishes: “we’re both… kind of mito’s disciples?” “thanks ultimately to kurama’s chakra.. and.. being uzumaki...” he says somewhat blankly. and her brows shoot up as a sort of wry smile twitches on her lips, which then turns into a genuine grin. she looks at him with love in her eyes and repeats tenderly, “being uzumaki…” kurama immediately kinda regrets his decision to share this fact when they’re gonna be such sappy nerds about it

s) from my 1sentence challenge but it doubles as a hc: When he opened the door to their cozy apartment he saw her on the living room rug -- knees at a silly angle with fabric draped over her thighs, repeating the motion of her hand moving toward it, then away -- and when he got closer the red thread seemed to glimmer a greeting, her engagement ring winking in tandem, while she lovingly stitched the characters of his destiny onto the new haori.

..........i thought about stopping at n.... and then i decided i needed to get from n to s ;) (i’m embarrassing, i know, it’s ok, i’ve come to terms with it)