#and my fear with my TF F/Os since theyre a trigger and my abuser was always saying how abusive they'd be

[frecklystars]

Sierra Six canonically has c-ptsd and has a scene in the movie where he's triggered and having a flashback. The first time I saw that, I had to pause and process it... not only did I immediately feel safe when I saw him on screen for the first time, because he's such a protective person and his main weakness is his loyalty and devotion to his loved ones, but ALSO it comforts me knowing that he'd be so patient and understanding with me when I'm having my own flashbacks or panic attacks from my own abuse. He became a strong comfort character in less than 40 minutes, possibly a new record, I wasn't even done with the movie yet.

I literally paused the movie my first time watching it and NEEDED to write a self ship fic w/ him asap because I was so overwhelmed with how I just... I knew, I knew he would comfort me if I needed it. I knew he'd be here for me. I'm so certain of it. I wrote 30 pages in just a couple of hours and it was also the first time I wrote anything in over a year.

I still jolt awake from nightmares and I barely get 3 hours of sleep every night, sometimes no sleep at all. Insomnia is a part of ptsd and my sleep schedule was already a wreck before I had to deal w/ my abuser. And it feels SO comforting to know that when I wake up gasping, sweating, crying, Six is bursting through the door (or if he's asleep in the same room with me, he's immediately alert and scrambling to my side) and he's scooping me into his arms and he's immediately saying it's okay, it's okay. Keri, you're safe. I'm right here. His hands are scarred and calloused from years of fighting, but they're as gentle as his voice when he's holding me. His gaze is soft. He knows exactly how this feels. He knows grounding techniques. He guides me through breathing exercises. He has been through this same hell for decades. He knows. He gets it. He protects me when I'm awake and when I'm dreaming. I could not possibly be anywhere safer than in his arms