#and my eddie munson piercer agenda

[hammity-hammer]

thinking about steve going to cosmetology school and learning how to be an esthetician and cut hair, because nothing matters to him more than making sure other people take care of themselves and feel beautiful in their bodies

and eddie is an absolute little trash man who doesn’t know the first thing about skin care besides that he should probably wash his face with something other than his bar soap that he uses on his body, so he gets some cheap face wash that doesn’t have too many ingredients, but he’s still not 100% sure if it’s good or not. he doesn’t take care of his hair much, either, just washes it every few days (he does know the difference between shampoo and conditioner, and vaguely how to use them) and uses some random leave in conditioner spray he found that helps his curls stay,, curly. 

and eddie spends most of his time getting stabbed by his coworkers and friends, because he 1000% would at the least work in a tattoo shop, but probably would wanna stab people and help them look and feel cool as fuck

so one day steve decides he wants a cute little nose piercing, because robin got one recently and it looked cool on her, so why wouldn’t it look cool on him? plus, best friends do everything together, right??

he goes to the same shop rob went to, and sees one of the most beautiful people he’s ever laid eyes on, and then realizes that the man he’s been making googoo eyes at is definitely about to be the one to stab him, and holy fuck if that doesn’t make him so nervous he almost passes out

and when he’s sitting on the chair so eddie can mark his nose for the piercing, he gets a real up close look at him and realizes that his skin is fucking perfect, and being the little skin care nerd he is, he asks him about it

“oh uhh... i just kinda wash my face every few days when i feel like showering? not anything special..” eddie says, throwing him an awkward smile before he sticks his tongue out the side of his mouth and concentrates on getting his mark perfect.

“i think... this might be the best spot! take a look, don’t touch your nose please, and let me know if you want me to move it!” he tells steve as he steps back and gestures to the mirror next to them. 

steve checks his nose out in the mirror and nods, “yeah! i genuinely have no idea how it’s supposed to look, so i trust you.” he takes a moment to look at eddie again while he sets up the rest of his station, and makes sure his clamp has the right tightness. “are you for real that you only wash your face every few days..?”

“i mean.. i don’t know why i’d lie about that? i just... am real busy and haven’t ever really done anything else?” eddie shrugs, “if you’d please lay back, i’m just about ready to stick ya.” 

they finish the piercing, with steve barely bleeding, but crying quite a bit, and steve’s on his way with his cute little gem sticking out of his nostril. 

eddie definitely thinks that’s the last he’ll see of steve, even though he was so gorgeous and asked... odd? questions? but he guesses that seeing the pretty man at a beauty supply shop made sense, all things considering. steve doesn’t see him yet, because he’s bending over to pick items out of a box on the floor and put them on the shelves he’s stocking, and thank god he doesn’t because eddie really can’t stop a giant blush from spreading on his face. 

“uh.. excuse me.” he coughs awkwardly, trying extremely hard to keep his eyes off of steve’s ass. “i was wondering if you guys have any of this one face mask i like?” he asks, holding up an empty bottle of an old mask that he got for free from nancy forever ago.

“oh yeah! that’s just over here, it’s a really good mask!” steve says with a big smile, leading him over to the brand that it belongs to. “that one costs about... $30, but seeing as you stabbed me and definitely undercharged me, it’ll be on me.” he smiles, taking a box and starting to walk to the front counter.

“wh- how do you know i undercharged you? what if we just... do really cheap piercings?” eddie stutters, surprised that steve had even noticed. he definitely did undercharge him on account of being a total babe, but steve didn’t even have ear piercings, so how could he have known? they don’t keep their prices visible, and he just kind of gets to charge what he wants as long as he covers the jewelry and tool cost.

“i definitely don’t think normal shops charge $15 for a nose piercing, dude. plus, my best friend got her nose pierced by you a few weeks ago and you toootally charged her like.. $50 bucks.” steve grins, scanning the face mask and his employee card. “and i do so appreciate the cheap piercing, so just accept this as a thank you. and, maybe, let me buy you dinner this week?” he smiles, writing his number on a receipt and handing it to eddie.

“sure thing, stevie. lucky for you, flattery works on me. i’ll give you a call soon, sweetheart.” eddie blows him a kiss with a wink and walks off, his free face mask and steve’s number in his hand.