#and my counselor said smth abt her that rly didnt sit right with me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

piplupod · 2 months

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so there's a trans woman who goes to the centre and everyone calls her by her birthname which she is like... fine with but only because she has no choice but to be fine about it. anyways I've known her for a while through a trans group before the centre so I asked her today if she'd rather I call her by her birthname or her chosen name and she said she prefers her chosen name but I can call her by her birthname if I want and oh my god I was about to cry for her bc god I really feel that whole situation fjdkdl, I just told her "no I WANT to call you by the name you prefer, that's why I'm asking, I want to make sure it's safe for you if I call you [preferred name]" and she seemed so grateful and I'm just :') eeurrgghh i hate how we have to be grateful with crumbs !!!

its just absolutely wild to me that she's presenting femininely and wears skirts and dresses and everything and uses her preferred name when she writes her name down on stuff and yet everyone at the centre calls her by her birthname and he/him pronouns. like. how are people so fucking rude and oblivious ??? she's even worn a she/her pronoun pin to the centre like.... people are so fucking stupid about trans people I stg.

idk I'm just hoping to make her feel a bit more comfortable and maybe if I start calling her by the right name and pronouns then everyone else will too eventually because I know she doesnt feel safe correcting people. I'm not going to make a big thing of it obviously bc I don't want to put her in danger but I will be using the correct name and pronouns now that I've double-checked with her about it, and if I start feeling like it's making things worse for her then I'll check in with her again at that point. I've honestly been stumbling trying to use he/him for her when I mention her to other ppl because she is just... she/her in my brain. it's what I know she wants to use so it feel fucking awful to use anything else !!!

#and my counselor said smth abt her that rly didnt sit right with me #but i was too scared to challenge her on it and ask what she meant by what she'd said #it might just be that this woman talks too much and will talk my ear off if i let her fjfkdl #and then i wont make friends if i just sit with her every day like i was doing the first couple weeks #but smth abt the way she said smth more like... ''getting sucked into all the stuff [she] has going on''#but said in a more... eugh way #idk it set off transphobia alarm bells in my head. ''ooh man wearing a dress who thinks he's a woman how crazy and perverted'' sort of vibe #I'm just... worried. that my counselor is transphobic lmao. I haven't talked abt any of my gender stuff w her #she can she/her me all she wants lol I don't talk about gender w mental health professionals ever after that initial exp a few yrs ago #I DONT KNOW THOUGH THIS IS JUST RLY MESSING WITH ME #LIKE WHY ARE PEOPLE BEING SO WILLFULLY OBLIVIOUS ???#its really fucking upsetting and I've been trying to not let it get to me too much but jesus fucking christ c'mon people 😭😭😭#im hoping i can maybe help change things for the better bc I'll be someone on her side #since she doesnt seem to have that there. god I've cried abt this a few times bc its just awful #and it rly reminds me a bit of my own situation where i just. grin and bear the misgendering and wrong name #except im a coward compared to her fjdksl i never mention my name or pronouns #i will say though that she has consistently misgendered me no matter how often I've reminded her of my pronouns fjdksl #but like... they/them is difficult. i get that. I can't hold it against her esp bc she's in her like 50s or smth #head in my hands. i wish life were kinder to all of us. i hope one day things can be easier #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #transphobia #transmisogyny #<- for blacklists. i uhhh hope this doesnt turn up in searches but oh well !!!

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