#and move a few songs around so it flows and nothing is too jaring (like a slow quite song immediately followed by a quick loud song can pull

[velociraptoraddict]

I'm going on a camping trip this weekend

I'll still have my phone and access to the internet

But unlikely I'll get anything done with Chomp

I already have roughly 3/4 of chapter 17 written though so hopefully I'll have it done sometime next week then 2-4 weeks for editing (>_>; I really should figure out a better method to editing...😅 Right now my method is so complicated it's hard to describe without visual aid (no joke) but if you want to see how my weird (possibly ADHD) self edits, hit me up and I'll make a quick tutorial... maybe then someone can give me tips on how to actually edit where it doesn't take me a full month to go through one chapter)

EDIT: Apparently Tumblr only lets you have 30 tags on a post!? Thank goodness I was able to actually say everything I wanted/needed to say within that limit 🤣 (still though, I can provide visual aid like a quick video if anyone wants to see how exactly it is my mind works or if you simply don't believe me when I say this is literally how I've been writing/editing for over half a year (I'd probably be unstoppable if I didn't live this way))

[idreamofplaid]

Dean Lives Forever

Square Filled: Impala for @spndeanbingo

Characters: Jensen/Dean x Reader; Jared and Kripke mentioned

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Jensen is having a hard time with Supernatural being over. The reader has an idea to help him deal with his feelings.

Word Count: 2409

A/N: This is for you @lovealways-j. Thanks for your friendship and all the thirsty exchanges.

“Will you play something for me?” You hopefully held Jensen’s guitar out to him. He’d been home for three days now since filming on The Boys had finished, and in that time he’d eaten only egg sandwiches and barely said anything. Eventually, he’d open up and talk about it. Right now he was processing. That’s what Jensen did.

You’d known it wouldn’t be easy for him, being a different character after Dean Winchester had lived in his skin for fifteen years. It was almost a doppelganger type situation it had gone on so long. Dean was like a separate entity that came to life through Jensen every time Jensen flipped that switch, and flipping that switch had become increasingly easy over the years until the lines between Jensen and Dean were blurred.

Jensen took the guitar from you and turned on the barstool to face out from the kitchen toward the breakfast nook and give himself more room to play. He placed the instrument on his leg and started to pluck at the strings. Soon the familiar chords of “Simple Man” filled the air. 

He started to sing the words to the song he loved so much in his smooth soulful voice and had almost made it through the first verse when he stopped. His fingers strummed at the strings of the guitar for a few more seconds before they stopped moving too.

It was a Dean song. Jensen had always said it would become real to him that Supernatural was over when he walked onto another set and had to be somebody else. For the past several months, that’s what he’d done; and he had to do it alone. The travel restrictions were still in place while he was filming. That meant you couldn’t be there; Jared couldn’t be there. Jensen was alone in his head, and he was inclined to think too much sometimes.

The separation hadn’t been easy on you either. You’d lost sleep more than one night after a Facetime call when you knew things weren’t quite right, and Jensen was doing his best to put on a good face for you. He was a good actor, but he wasn’t good enough to hide what he was really feeling from you.

The irony was you had been able to see Jared, and the two of you had met for lunch regularly when he had a day off from Walker. Jared and Jensen were a package deal. You’d known that from the beginning and were more than happy to get a best friend/brother included in the greatest boyfriend ever set. Your conversations had centered largely around Jensen and the ending of Supernatural.

Jared was worried about him too because he knew how hard it was to let Sam go, and the truth was he hadn’t. He couldn’t. Jared provided a lot of insight into the things Jensen might be feeling that he wasn’t telling you about. 

Jared’s words echoed in your mind now as you watched Jensen set his guitar down on the terrazzo tile. He’s got to figure out how to make Dean part of him and any other character he plays, because Dean’s not going anywhere. 

You walked closer to stand between Jensen’s open legs and run your hands through his once again short hair.  Your fingertips massaged his scalp, and he leaned into your touch. “You miss him, don’t you?” you asked quietly.

Jensen opened his jade green eyes, and you could see the melancholy in them, the touch of heartache. He tried to laugh, but it was more of a heavy exhale through his nose and a sad smile. “I know it’s stupid. It’s been a year.”

You kissed the corner of his mouth. “It’s not stupid at all.” Then you took Jensen’s hand in yours, an idea forming in your head and putting a gleam in your eye. “Go get dressed. And when I say dressed I mean put on some plaid. None of this one layer business either. That’s not the Winchester Way.”

“What are you up to, Y/N?” Jensen narrowed his eyes, making the crinkles at their corners more prominent.

“We’re taking your Baby for a ride, so get your sexy ass off this barstool and go get ready.”  You gave his butt a good smack. That would either get him moving or get his dick twitching; both would be ideal.

Fifteen minutes later, Jensen was backing Baby out of her special garage with you in the passenger seat. Driving her was like swimming; you didn’t forget how no matter how long it’d been since you last saw water. Watching the way he handled his beloved Impala was a huge turn on. It had been when you’d watched “Dean” do it on your television screen, and it was even more so now.

As he steered her down the long driveway, Jensen asked, “Where do you want to go?”

You were distracted by the sight of his forearms, with their prominent veins, peeking out from the rolled up cuffs of the red and black flannel he was wearing; and didn’t respond immediately. He looked over at you, saw you checking him out, and smiled. “Why don’t you come closer? You’re too far away.”

Jensen had changed practically nothing on the car. Installing an air conditioner was a must, but he’d wanted her to stay as much the same as she had been as she could possibly be. That included no seat belts, so you could slide across the bench seat until you were next to him. Jensen put his hand on your thigh. “That’s better,” he said. “Now, tell me where to take you.”

You put your head on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. Just find a pretty backroad, and let’s drive.”

When he’d driven far enough out of Austin that the road was mostly deserted, you started to kiss Jensen’s neck and nibble at his ear. “How many girls do you think Dean had in this car?” you asked while you blew into his ear. 

“Do you mean had or had?” Jensen moved his hand around to the inside of your thigh and eased it higher up your leg, bringing it closer to your core.

“I think you know what I mean.” You wriggled down in the seat until your pussy made contact with his hand.

Jensen rubbed his thick fingers along the seam of your jeans, making you squirm. “Oh, I imagine he had quite a few.”

“Is this what he did with them? What you’re doing to me right now?” You rubbed yourself against his hand and moaned.

“Among other things.” Jensen’s voice had dropped down into the Dean register. “Why don’t you, uh, open those jeans you’re wearin’, and I’ll show you.” 

He glanced at you, his hand still teasing you through the denim. His expression had changed. You were looking into the eyes of Dean Winchester. He could still fall back into character in an instant.

You opened them up, granting him access to the cotton and lace trimmed panties you were wearing underneath. Dean slipped his hand under the waistband and curled his finger right up against your clit. He started making circles over the already aching nub and applied enough pressure to make you feel like you could come apart at any second.

“You are so wet, sweetheart.” He was watching the road, but his focus was on you. “I bet you’re tight too.” He said it like he didn’t know.

The idea that he was completely in character now, and it was Dean touching you made you come all over his hand. You couldn’t grab him like you wanted to, so you clawed at the seat beside you instead while your orgasm flowed through you in waves that made you weak. 

When your body stopped shaking, Dean pulled his hand from your pants and made a show of cleaning your juices off his fingers. God. His lips. You wanted to feel them on you. He was so close you could smell him, but you needed to be closer. You buried your face in his neck and breathed him in. “Find somewhere to pull over,” you told him. “Somewhere off the road where nobody can see.”

Dean/Jensen knew these Texas backroads, and within a short time he’d found a secluded place to park Baby. “Let’s get in the back,” you said, laying your hand over the swelling bulge between his legs. 

“Sounds good to me, sweetheart.” He kissed you once. His mouth claiming yours, and his need for you evident in the way his tongue tangled with yours. Then Dean opened the door. You smiled when you heard it make the familiar groaning squeak. He got out and gave you his hand to help you out of the car. 

As soon as you were both in the back seat and the door had closed solidly behind him, you reached for his belt. You couldn’t get him out of his clothes fast enough, and he’d worn all the layers just like you’d asked him to. With your clothes piled on the floorboard, you explored each other’s bodies with your hands and your mouths. 

Dean made his mark on you, leaving hot kisses on your stomach, your breasts, and the insides of your thighs. His touch was a little different than the one you were used to, a little heavier with an almost desperation to feel alive through the act of joining your body with someone else’s. 

You knew people said that Jensen should win awards for his acting, and you could verify that they were right because the way he kissed you, the way he touched you, it was tender, caring, and passionate. But the love wasn’t there. This man appreciated you, wanted you, worshipped your body, but he didn’t love you. It was Jensen who loved you.

The way he moved inside you was different too. His thrusts were deep and sharp, then he would slow down and roll his hips until you were begging for him to give you more. When he came inside you, the sound of your name on his lips was a more primal thing. It was basic and raw. This was sex for the sake of the pure physical pleasure, and it felt amazingly good. You clenched him tightly, determined to milk every drop of the pain out of him. 

Immediately after the finish of your mind numbing orgasm, he rolled off of you. “Thank you, baby.” Jensen.

You turned toward him and propped yourself over him, so you could look down into his face. What you saw confirmed what you’d heard in the change of his voice. It was the man you loved. You kissed him, and it was the kiss you knew. It was filled with a soft intensity that made you feel loved, wanted, chosen, and trusted.

You were overwhelmed by how much this man meant to you. Dean Winchester was as sexy as any man had ever been, but it was Jensen you were going to marry one day, Jensen who held your heart. It was Jensen who always thought of you in so many little ways like a true gentleman would.

As if to prove it, he asked, “Are you cold?” He rubbed his hand down your back to check and apparently decided you were, because he sat up and retrieved his flannel from the floorboard. “Here. Put this on,” he told you as he helped you into it and buttoned up some of the buttons in the middle, enough to keep the shirt closed. 

You settled back beside him, his arms wrapped securely around you. His body was warmer than any flannel. You placed soft kisses on his chest, then lay your head down on it. “It’s okay to miss him,” you whispered while you traced mindless patterns over Jensen’s heart with your fingertip. “It’s okay to be him again sometimes too if that’s what you need. He’s part of you, Jensen. Always will be.”

“It’s been so damn hard these past few months.” You kissed his chest again to encourage him to go on. “I hear ‘action’ and to me that means be Dean, but I couldn’t. I had to fight it. I couldn’t walk like him, or sound like him, or make any of the gestures he would have made. And, yeah, I missed him.”

“I missed being on set with Jared too, having him to play off of. We made each other better. We had a rhythm when we were doing a scene that was just natural. So natural, it almost wasn’t acting.” You could feel his arms tighten around you the slightest bit. ”I felt like I forgot how to act.” 

You kissed him again, letting your lips linger on his skin before you pulled them away. “I wish I could have been there for you. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

He tried to laugh again, just like he had earlier in the kitchen. It was a little closer to a real laugh. “I couldn’t be Dean Winchester forever, could I?”

You raised your head up to look at him. “That’s not even a question, Jensen.” You smiled when you said it. “You will be Dean forever. You can’t get him out of you. Stop trying to fight it. You’ve proved you can play another character. Eric can’t stop raving about how good you are, and I’m sure when the season is released everyone else is going to see that too.”

He reached up and took your face in his hand. “I’m one lucky son of a bitch to have you.” Your smile got bigger.

“See. That was Dean right there.” Realization crossed Jensen’s face. He shook his head and smiled, really smiled.

“So, you’re saying you wouldn’t mind if I bring Dean out to play every once in awhile?” The smile was still on his face, and it was beautiful. 

“I wouldn’t mind that at all.” You kissed him then with a light flirtiness for the first time that day. “In fact I think it would be a good idea for us to do that. We better keep you in practice because everybody knows Supernatural is coming back, and we don’t want Dean to come across like Soldier Boy,” you said playfully.

Jensen flipped you beneath him. “Soldier Boy? I’ll show you Soldier Boy.”

And that’s a story for another time...

Everything: @gambitwinchester​ @princessmisery666​ @peridottea91​ @beenlovingromansincedayoneish​ @emilyshurley​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @waywardbaby​ @atc74​ @shaniquacynthia​ @mariekoukie6661​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @67-chevy-baby​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crashdevlin​ @jules-1999​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @sammyimpala-67​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @timelordy-fangirl2​ @sweetness47​ @hobby27​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @becs-bunker​ @sandlee44​ @supernaturalgrandma​ @sea040561​ @dawnie1988​ @volleyballer519​ @kdfrqqg​ @lizette50​ @daisymoder72​ @sorenmarie87​ @lovealways-j​ @deansotherotherblog​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @spnbaby-67​ @wayward-and-worn​ @asthesunwentdown​ @vulgar-library​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @petitgateau911​ @calaofnoldor​

Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee​ @flamencodiva​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @ellewritesfix05​ @weepingwillowphoenix​

[immortalecstasy-blog]

After A Few

Pairing: Jensen/Reader

Inspired by the song ‘After A Few’ by Travis Denning. Jensen finds himself in Seattle, and runs into an old friend. It’s always the same thing with those two.

WC ≈ 6,000

A/N: Thank you to @thoughts-and-funnies for your enthusiasm, corrections, encouragement, and advice - and to @jayloxoxo for your kind words and your formatting advise. Also to @smol-and-grumpy for publishing the ask that led me to them!

When Jared had suggested road tripping to Seattle for the weekend Jensen didn’t hesitate to agree. Drive down, have a few drinks, greasy breakfast, rinse and repeat before driving back up to Vancouver on Sunday. It was just what he needed. There was a new bar that had opened, Rob had been telling them about it earlier that week and insisted they needed to check it out. They didn’t even mess around too much on set on the Friday, eager to head off. They even got dressed for their night out before jumping in the car, so as not to waste any time. But they’d straight up forgotten that they weren’t in their twenties anymore, and by the time they’d made it to their hotel they were both flagging. Weighted down by the gruelling week and the long drive.

“Oh man,” moaned Jared, rubbing his face. “I’m shattered.”

“Same.” Jensen laughed, “Grab some food somewhere and call it a night?”

Jared shook his head, as if he couldn’t imagine such a terrible plan and said, “Hell yeah dude.”

They walked passed the bar Rob had mentioned on their way to find food. It looked just as classy as he’d described. With flowerbeds and a rectangular fountain outside. The dark-tinted windows showing nothing of the inside but the smallest suggestion of overhead lighting.

“Looks nice.” Jared commented, and Jensen nodded, taking in the big black umbrellas hiding the outside tables and the orange glow of outside heating. It was when they passed it again on their way back to the hotel that he saw her.

Y/N. She was stood just outside of the umbrella’s protection, in a little black dress and huge chunky heels. The dress had triangles cut out at her waist and hugged her figure all the way to her knees. It was sleeveless and he could tell by the way she hugged her arms to her body that she was cold. She was talking animatedly and as he followed Jared down the street he craned his head to see who she was talking to. It was a group of girls, all dressed to impress. His steps faltered. What the hell is she doing in Seattle?

After A Few Seconds

“Ackles? Ackles? You coming?”

“I...” Jensen paused, frowning. “Yeah... no. I think I’m going to go for a drink.”

“Man, I’m exhausted. You really want to go for a drink?”

“Just one. I’m going to scope this place out. It’s all good, you go.”

“Are you sure?”

Jensen threw him a smile, “yeah, seriously dude, I just fancy a night cap.”

“There’s a mini fridge in your room.”

Jensen shrugged.

“Whatever man, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jared clapped him on the shoulder and carried on walking, leaving Jensen where he stood on the pavement like some creep.

He started to walk throw the flower beds towards the entrance, purposefully keeping his eyes straight ahead. He wondered if he should say hello to her. He probably shouldn’t, it had been a long time since they’d last seen one another, and she was out with her friends. He could just message her in the morning to say he was in town, see if she wanted to grab lunch or a coffee or something. Something that didn’t involve alcohol. He was about to turn around, to catch up to Jared and agree he could have a drink from the minibar when there’s a clatter of heels to his left, he glances over, he can’t help it. They’re all stood up, heading back inside. And she sees him.

There’s a brief moment where he could have got away with pretending he didn’t see her and just walk away, but he wastes it by staring at her. She’s frozen for a moment, and then his feet move towards her without his permission.

“Hello stranger.”

“Jay!” Her face breaks out into a grin as she takes in the white shirt and the blue suit.

Her friends hover by the entrance, but she doesn’t seem to notice. “How’ve you been?”

“Good. Good.” He tells her and sees that she’s hugging her arms to her again. “Do you wanna go in? You look cold.”

She nods quickly and they move towards the door. His hand rests on the small of her back without thinking. He pulls back as the bouncer opens the door for them and lets her and her friends go inside in front of him before following her up to the bar.

“So what about you? What have you been up to?”

“Oh this and that.” She laughs breezily. One of her friends touches her arm and she brushes them off, “I’ll only be a minute, I’ll meet you back at the table.” It’s only then that he really takes in the place. Jared was going to love it. It was all dark matte blacks and high polished metal. Giant filament bulbs hanging bare and low from the tall ceiling. Even the mirrors on the back of the bar were tinted black. She turns back to him, leaning up against the bar.

“You’re not on hiatus yet are you?” She asks and he shakes his head.

“No, no. Just a quick weekend break with Jared.”

She looked around with a frown, as if she could have ever missed his tall frame.

“And Jared can turn invisible now?”

“He’s gone back to the room. We only got in a couple of hours ago.” He explained, and then added “he did the driving.”

“So you’re drinking alone? Oh no, it’s really come to that?” She smiles and he can’t help but grin back at her as the barman appears with his perfect hipster beard and asks what he can get for them.

“What are you drinking?” She asked him.

“No no, I’ll get them.”

She reached her hand out to take his arm, to stop him from getting his wallet. He could feel how cold her fingers were, even through his suit jacket.

“I’m buying. What are you having?”

He let her because there was never any way to win an argument with her. It’s probably why they’d been friends for so long, even once he’d gotten ‘a little famous’ (as she called it), she had never changed. No special treatment.

The conversation flowed, and by the time she was halfway through her fancy cocktail she pulled herself up onto one of the barstools to ease her feet, he stayed stood for a while longer. But after ordering their second round of drinks he’d given up on the pretence and sat beside her. It was as if they’d only seen each other yesterday, it was always like that. The conversation went from what they’d been up to since they’d last spoken, to reminiscing about old times, catching each other up on how their parents and siblings were.

Her clutch bag was on the bar, her credit card in her hand as she paid for the third round of drinks when he noticed it was vibrating. She ignored it while she finished the transaction and then scooped out her phone. She frowned and looked behind her. Jensen followed her gaze and saw her friends waiting by the door, one of them had a packet of cigarettes in her hand and was looking at Y/N with an annoyed expression.

“So you’re still smoking?” He asked, teasingly. Aware he should feel bad about pulling her away from her friends, but he doesn’t.

“I am not.” She huffed, making a shooing motion at them as if to say, ‘just go without me, you’re grown-ups.’ The grumpy friends’ eyes find Jensen and he sends her what he hopes is a winning smile and gives her a half wave half salute. Her expression softens a little, but he doesn’t get a smile back in return.

“You’re totally still smoking.”

“Am not!” She repeats, balling her hand up into a fist and punching his shoulder. As their conversation steers towards his work, her phone goes off again and he watches out of the corner of his eye as she disconnects the call.

Her friends come back then, and he can smell tobacco smoke over their masks of breath mints and perfume. He turns his attention away from them politely. But then Y/N grabs his arm.

“Come on. Let’s dance.”

“This doesn’t look like a dancing kind of bar.”

“So?”

Keep Reading (AO3)

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

The Musician Next Door

[Close enough for me, Gif credit to @jensenacklescious]

Square: Vancouver ( @supernatural-jackles tell a story bingo)

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Summary: The reader is an extra on Supernatural, and has a musical talent. But little did she know her music attracted the attention of her neighbor.

Warnings: Nothing bad, just fluff, sweet music (I recommend searching on YouTube to listen to while reading), and some comedy.

Word Count: 1,860

Main Masterlist

Bingo Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

A/N: A small teaser of a possible series I have in mind thanks to Jensen’s recent Instagram post. But this is not going to be the series, it’s something similar. But still, I hope you like it. :3

~

She’s always wanted to come to this city. Well she’s always wanted to go to Canada, Vancouver was just the plus side.

And, an ever more plus side was the job she managed to grab. An extra on her favorite show. Supernatural.

Sure it was its last and final season and they were finishing up but with having a limited number of extras due to the pandemic she was one of the few they needed.

She drove down the towns streets, seeing it’s lights shimmer in the night. Making her smile softly at the scenery. Another reason she loved Vancouver. It was such a beautiful city.

She got to her apartment complex, the same one her friend lived in. And she learns quickly who her neighbors are.

After getting rather bored on day 3 into quarantine, she looked at her music set. She knew how to play piano and guitar.

She turns on the electric piano, picking the grand piano setting she begins to play with a few keys. Playing nonsense sounds, but a pleasant melody.

She then began leading into one of her favorites. Her favorite anime show, Inuyasha, playing his lullaby piano song.

Playing at the pace of the song, relaxing as she continued to play. After finishing one verse she began singing lightly with the music.

She began to slow the music as it came to a close. She paused for a brief second before playing more.

She began to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sentra first movement. And blending the end of it with Supernatural’s Dean’s Family Dedication Theme song.

A tear slipping down her cheek as she remembers this is the last time the show will air. She knows how it will end. They all knew. She doesn’t like it, but she didn’t voice it.

She finished the song with a nice peaceful and gentle end. Till her phone buzzed.

“That was beautiful sweetheart, can I make a request?”

The number belonging to Jensen Ackles. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Turns out he was her neighbor. Who would have thought she had an audience of one listening.

“Sure, what would you like to listen to me play…or attempt to play?” she texts back.

She saw him read it quickly before seeing the jumping three dots, showing he’s typing something.

“I am working on a song for my second album, if I send you a sample of it, could you try to bring it to life on the piano?”

Her heart rate skyrocketed. A song that hasn’t even been released yet, but also still in the works she was going to listen to.

“Sure, let me see what you got.” She texts.

He sent her the audio file to her phone promptly, playing it on her headphones, she can hear the notes coming to her.

Giving it a few play throughs, listening intently to the notes on the guitar, his words being sung. She looked at her keys on her piano and began playing around. Until she found the right notes.

Learning the piano, she didn’t learn the traditional way. She taught herself. Just messing around on the family’s grand piano, she learned the simple twinkle little star. Then an armature Amazing Grace. She had an ear for music, she let the music flow through her like wind blowing through her hair. The way the breeze felt on her skin. Making music felt like that to her.

She began playing the song, even singing the song to help her timing with the next verse and the next verse after that.

Once finished, she noticed it had gotten late.

“It was nice playing for you Jay, but I need to head to bed.”

“Okay, goodnight. Sleep well.”

 All throughout quarantine she had been playing with her instruments. Entertaining Jensen mostly, but it also relaxes her.

But on their first day on set, after being tested and gotten the okay to head on the sound stage for blocking she went to see Jensen.

Seeing him and Jared walking together to the sound stage, she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself at how much like brothers they were.

“There she is the little musician next door.” Jensen says, coming to her, wrapping an arm around her.

“He told me you play piano, do you really?” Jared asked.

“I do a little bit; it’s been a while.”

“Well, it’s like riding a bike. You never forget. You were so good.” Jensen comments.

“Aw, thanks Jay.”

“Got any new songs to play tonight or…can I make a request again?”

“You can always make a request. Besides, I was writing this song and I just need to get the notes right, the words right and then I’m posting it to my YouTube Channel.”

“Doing YouTube now, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m trying it out. I can’t seem to enjoy a single day job I get. I enjoy jobs like this. Acting, where I can tell a story. Writing, where I can create the story. Music, just creating good sounding, relaxing and calming music.”

“You are such an amazing creator; I think you’ll do great as a YouTube creator.”

“You think so?”

“Totally, right Jare?”

“For sure, hey, do vlogging, give us a behind the scenes.”

“I’m not sure about vlogging, that requires being in front of the camera.  And I’m so camera shy.”

“Yet you’re an extra on Supernatural.” Jensen smirks.

“Okay, maybe…I don’t know what it is. But I just don’t want to vlog, okay.”

“It’s okay.” Jared says.

 Later that day, she can’t get her thoughts together back at the apartment. She paced back and forth. From the kitchen to the balcony and back around. She was beyond distracted.

“Jay, are you available for hanging out for a little. I can’t focus.” She texts him.

A moment passes when she thought he might have been busy.

“Yeah, just had to get a pizza out of the oven. Want to come over and just chill for a bit?”

“Sure, I just can’t focus on my music right now.”

“It’s fine. Come on over.”

Putting on her shoes she walks over next door to Jensen’s apartment.

Knocking on the door she hears his dog barking.

“Quiet Icarus.” She could hear him beyond the door shushing his dog. Making her chuckle.

“Hey,” he says opening the door. “Come on in.”

She enters, taking her shoes off at his door.

“Want some pizza?”

“Sure,”

Jensen grabs two plates out, giving each two slices of pizza. And walking over to the couch. Turning on his apple tv.

He turns it onto Netflix, Orange is the new black.

But halfway through his second slice he notices she’s not paying attention to the tv. But instead is looking outside. Eating in silence.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks kindly.

“A lot. Stuff going on at home. This whole YouTube thing being real, I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore. It just seems like I’m just going with it.”

“Nothing wrong with going with the flow. But, this stuff at home, how bad is it?”

“It’s nothing bad, I can handle it. it just takes a lot of mental power to get myself past it. You know.”

“For sure.”

They sat back in silence.

“Here, how about we go for a little walk on the town. That should help relax you a bit.” Jensen suggests, as he finishes his pizza. Y/N not even halfway through her first slice.

“Where to?”

“Nowhere, just out for a little relaxing walk. Come on, and grab a jacket it’s supposed to be a little chilly.”

 Jensen may not have had a destination in mind, but he knew one place that would help her relax.

The ports, anywhere where there was ocean. He noticed in her posts on Instagram, when she’s at a tropical beach she looks relaxed and at peace with everything. And she knew deep down, once she saw the sun setting by the waters and seeing what they were walking up towards, she knew that he knew.

She felt herself calm at the sight.

“See, you look relaxed already.”

“Thanks Jay, I really appreciated this.”

“It’s not a problem.” he says. Leaning kissing her atop her head with an arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“That jacket’s not warm enough, is it?”

“No, not really.”

A small shiver shook through her as she said that.

He chuckles. “Lets get you home and warm you up.” he says, leaning in, pecking a sweet kiss on her cheek. A centimeter too close to her lips.

Y/N looked up at him with a smirk.

“What was that?”

“It was a kiss, why…”

“You were a bit close to my lips Jay…are you trying to tell me something?” she gives him a playful smirk.

“Okay,” he rubs the back of his neck. “I may like you, since the first day you and I met on set. You kind of took my breath away.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as her face heated up at the comment. Making Jensen smile with a chuckle.

“I, uh…I like you too Jay. I thought it might be a crush thing but, it just wouldn’t shake. I really, really like you.”

Jensen had a smile that went from ear to ear. He brought her in a tight embrace, holding her close.

“I know what you’ve been through. And I want to be there for you, to help you through it all.” He says.

“Thank you Jay, I want to be there for you too.” She says.

She pulls away slightly to look up at him. She could see his eyes glide down from her eyes to her lips as he slowly leans in. Planting a soft kiss fully on her lips.

Their lips moving in a soft dance with each other, his tongue grazing her bottom lip silently asking for permission. She parts her lips at the right moment to allow him in and dominate her mouth in the kiss.

Just when their kiss grew hungry, and their skin began to heat up at the attraction and arousal.

“Finally!”

They pulled away, stunned at the exclamation. Seeing Jared walking down the sidewalk, facetime on revealing Misha.

“It’s about time you two got together!” Misha shouted on the phone.

Y/N’s face heated up once again, hiding against Jensen’s chest. Jensen chuckling.

“Yeah, finally you two can stop with the longing stares and the…does she like me? Does he like me?” Jared says.

“How’d you know we came down here?”

“I didn’t, I saw you and I saw her, and I couldn’t help myself.” Jared smiled.

The couple chuckling.

“You two were being such idiots.”

“Well, we can be idiots together, now, do you mind?” Jensen says.

“Oh, right, get back to making out with your girl. See you two on set, you better have hickey’s to show for it!” Jared shouts as he walks away.

Jensen and Y/N just rolling their eyes, giving each other a quick chaste kiss before walking back to the apartment.

Only he walked back with her to her apartment and sat with her as she played her music, even joining in turning it into a sweet duet.

~

a/n: What’d you think? Let me know, feedback is always appreciated.

~

Dean/Jensen Girls:

@pandazombie69, @luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @jayankles, @winchesters-favorite-girl, @mlovesstories, @akshi8278, @flamencodiva, @megzdoodle, @anotherspnfanfic, @misfit0118, @shawnie74, @missmemoire09, @racetrackheart, @spnbaby-67, @moonlight-on-her-skin, @backseat-of-deans-67chevy, @salt-n-burn-em-all, @lyarr24​

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 4/17/2021

[impala1967dwinchester]

Jared Padalecki: I lost a shoe, babe

*not my gif*

Pairing: Jared Padalecki X reader/Y/n

Pov: Jared’s

Warnings: light swearing, overall cuteness

Summary: While Jared and Y/n are walking around the beach, she doesn’t realize she has lost her shoe until they go to walk the board walk.

Word count: 1.4k

Masterlist

Tag list: 

Deciding last winter that Y/n and I would end up going to the beach for a tiny visit. Dip our feet in the sand and just relax during the summer. Y/n had told many times over again that her favorite place was the beach, she loved the board walk. She just wanted to feel free.  

She wanted to feel the breeze flow through her hair. Smell the beach air, hear the crashing of the waves. She wanted nothing more than to do that with me. Y/n was a person who kept many things to herself, opening her up was hard. Eventually though, she opened up to me. Her heart and then her mind.  

Letting me comfort her, letting me listen to all those thoughts. She had expressed one day that she trusted me so much that she had fall in love with me. I know an odd statement to make, to tell someone. That was just the way that Y/n was, she was my odd girl.

So, I set the date reserving a hotel room for us, and told Y/n to pack her belongings for the trip to the beach. I packed my swim trunks, a few nice outfits for dinner, of course shoes, and some toiletries. After finishing packing, I sat down and watched Y/n methodically pack everything in her suitcase.  

Her make-up, shoes, and toiletries laying at the bottom of the case, while she rummages through her side of the closet to find what she wanted so badly. She’d pull out sun dresses, that flowed as she moved them. Pulling out a few outfits and laying them next to the case.  

Then Y/n went through all her draws trying to find all of her other necessary clothing. Still, I sat and watched her, she was still beautiful as the day I had met her. “You look beautiful, honey.” I said watching as she moved around the room.  

I saw a small smirk. “You’re going to distract me, Jare.” Y/n said as she started to fold her clothes and place them in her case. I had decided that we would drive, I honestly didn’t want to fly not when everyone would probably be on the cramped together. Trying to all get to their summer vacation.  

“We drive out tomorrow. We’ve got be up early, Y/n.” I said picking up my phone to set an alarm. “Yes, I know, I’m almost done packing. I promise.” She said zipping up her case and rolling it over to mine. “I’m going to go wash up and get ready for bed, you should do the same Jare.” Y/n said slipping her t-shirt over her head and ending to the bathroom.  

Do the same thing I slipped out of my shirt, and fell asleep in bed. And just like that my alarm was blaring, Y/n cuddled into my chest, hair spread all over the place. I somehow made my way out of her very grabby hands.  

I grabbed our suitcases and all of my personal belongings taking them out to the car. I waited until the very last few minutes before going back up to our room and waking Y/n. “Honey...” I said softly shaking her, “Whattt.” She spoke “Baby, we are going to the beach today, get up and go to the bathroom I’ll grab all your stuff.” I said pulling the comforter off her body.

I grabbed her purse and put her charger cord, phone, earbuds, and her wallet in her purse and waited for her to come out of the bathroom.  I only had to wait for a few minutes before she dragged her feet out the bathroom.  

“Grab your pillow and blanket, I’ll drive and you can sleep.” I said walking out of our bedroom. Then I heard the little patter and pat of Y/n’s feet behind me. I let her out of the door first, still no shoes so I grabbed her slippers that were next to the door. And closed the door and locked it.  

Making my way down to the car, I opened Y/n’s door and let her get comfortable before handing her purse to her. And putting her slippers on the floor. Shutting her door after I made sure she was buckled in. I walked over to the driver side of the car, turning the engine and backed-up out of the drive way.  

The drive was okay, not a lot of people on the road. And we barely stopped more than a few times. Y/n had woken up only a few hours after we started driving. She stretched and said “Hey, hon” A yawn interrupting her sentence. “How far are we away?” She asked  

I hadn’t really checked that in a while, so I took a look at my GPS. “About 6 hours left.” I said looking over at Y/n for a second before putting my attention back on the road. “Jare? Do you want me to drive?” Y/n asked.  

That was odd, normally if I drove us anywhere, I did all of the driving. She had never asked, but I had never asked either. So, a sort of cross road I was at. “The next rest stop is a few hours away, if you still want to drive at that point then go for its baby.” I spoke.  

Y/n turned on the radio, flipping through channels. Finally, she found what I could only assume was 80’s music. “Sweet child O mine, One of my favorites.” Y/n said, before the song started. I looked over at her, everyday there was something new I learned about her.  

So, with Y/n awake, and songs banging through the speakers. It made the driving much quicker, I turned into the rest stop and parked “You still wanna drive baby?” I said looking at Y/n’s bright face. “What type of question is that? Of course, I still wanna drive. You have driven us around enough.”  

Another thing that I loved about Y/n. She cared so much about everyone around her. Even without me saying anything, I think she known that I was tired of driving. Y/n got out the car, and switch places with me, shushing me to the passenger side.  

I had to reposition the sit, seeing as I'm a foot taller than Y/n. Y/n had to do the same thing, she looked over at me and said “I love you baby.” Another thing she always does just says ‘I love you’ out the blue. It took me a while to get used to it. “I love you too, honey.” I said finally getting into the car.  

I had turned the car off, so Y/n just buckled up and backed-up and started to drive. Finally, we made it to our hotel and unpacked most of our things out of the car and into the hotel room. Y/n wanted to go the beach the second we got there.  

“Jare, can we go the beach now?” “How about we go after we have eaten something?” I spoke She agreed and we went to go find food. Y/n had ended up finding a burger shop. So, we ate and then Y/n dragged me out to the beach.  

Y/n then I guess got frustrated with my speed and ran towards the sand, not even caring to slip her shoes off. And then waited for me, “You couldn't wait, could you?” I asked with a small smile crossing my face. “No... No, I couldn’t wait for you.” So, we walked back all the way down to the pier and then turned around walking the other direction.  

Finally, what had seemed like 2 hours of walking we had made it back up to the section of boardwalk. My feet hitting the wood of the board walk first, holding my hand out for Y/n to grab. And then her feet hit the board walk. Walking back to our hotel, it wasn’t until Y/n made it off the board walk that she noticed that she only had one shoe in her hand.  

When I couldn’t feel her hand I turned around and saw her standing there. Shoulder slumped, bottom lip out, looking like she was pouting. “What’s wrong?” She held up her one shoe, and said “I lost my shoe, babe!”  

“No, you didn’t the other on is on your foot.” I said looking down to see that she was right. “Nice Supernatural line, Y/n” She rolled her eyes and throw her shoe away. “How about you ride on my back until we make it back to the hotel?” She shook her head with excitement, and jumped on my back. “Here’s to not losing anymore shoes.” I said and walked in the direction of our hotel.  

Completed: 02/18/2021

[impalaimagining]

Guarded - Part 3

Jensen Ackles x Amanda, background Dean Winchester x Felicity

3,116 words

Warnings: bad past relationships, angst

*Written for Amanda as the next part of her Shotgun Riders series!

- unbeta’d

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

Jensen’s alarm sounded, pulling you from your slumber with a groan. You stretched and regretted it immediately at the protest of the muscles in your arms and legs. You felt Jensen shift beside you as you fumbled to find your phone on the nightstand.

“Mornin’.” His gravelly voice rumbled in your ear.

You whined and burrowed your head back into the pillow. “Don’t wanna.”

“I know.” Jensen chuckled, his hand rubbing down your spine gently. “How’re you feelin’?” You shook your head, face still smashed into the white cotton below you. “Hey.” He stopped the movement of his hand, splaying it out in the center of your back as his thumb rubbed your skin gently. You turned your head to the side and cracked one eye open to squint at him. “Why don’t you take it easy today? They can find a way to work something else into the schedule for your panel slot.”

You shot up, shaking your head. “No, no way. I won’t - I can’t do that.” You popped your back and sat up straight. “I need to get back to my room and shower.”

“Do it here.” Jensen dismissed with a wave of his hand as he checked the time on his phone. “I’m catching another few.”

You rolled your eyes and huffed as Jensen’s hand found your hip and pulled you backwards toward him. “Thought I was supposed to get a shower.” You quirked a brow as the corner of your mouth ticked up in a smirk.

Jensen shook his head. “Stay with me.” He nuzzled into your shoulder as you laid with your back to him. “Five more minutes.” You chuckled and closed your eyes, Jensen’s fingers tracing gentle lines across your hip.

His alarm went off again and you whimpered, the sound startling you out of the shallow dream you’d fallen into. “Son of a bitch.” Jensen rubbed his eye with the back of his hand. “I ever told you how much I hate timezones?”

You smiled softly, eyes still closed. “No, I don’t think you have.” You rolled over to face him, laying your hand on his upper arm. “Why don’t you tell me later while we’re walking to the panel.” You patted his chest and rolled over, throwing your legs off the side of the bed. “I’m going back to my room to shower.” You stretched your back and stood up, knees shaky under the full weight of your body.

“Seriously.” Jensen ran his hand over his hair. “Why don’t you take the day off? After last night, you could probably use it.”

“I’m not the one with a busted cheek.” You tilted your head. “Maybe you need to take it easy today.”

Jensen shook his head. “Been through worse before a convention.” He reasoned.

With a roll of your eyes, you grabbed your shoes and hooked them on your fingers, putting your other hand on the doorknob. “Can’t wait to see those photo ops online.” You winked and padded just down the hall in socked feet.

“Hey.” Jared gave you a warm smile when he met you and Jensen in the hall on the way to the main theater. “How ya feelin’?”

“About as good as you look.” You teased. “I don’t know why you two are so worried about me. You’re the ones who took the brunt of it.”

Jared shook his head and opened his mouth to talk, but Jensen shot him a look and cut him off. “Let’s just go get our coffee and try to get the morning started, okay?” Jensen painted on a tight smile and looked between you and Jared. He dropped his voice and muttered to himself, eyes lingering on you. “Even though I wish you would’ve just stayed in bed…”

You waited for Jared to walk ahead of you before you pulled Jensen back by the back of his shirt. “Jensen.” You whispered. “Please don’t act like I’m some fragile piece of glass after last night. I’m so glad you were there, but I would’ve survived either way.”

Jensen stopped, grabbing your forearm. He shook his head and looked down. “I’m sorry, but you don’t know that.”

The weight of his words hit you like a train. You could’ve died. You probably would have died if Jared and Jensen hadn’t been with you. You owed them your life.

“Hey!” Jared called over his shoulder as he looked back at the two of you. “Y’all comin’ or what?”

While Jared and Jensen did their morning panel for the gold admission package holders, you started your day in the green room, alone at first, and then joined by the likes of Rob and Rich and the rest of Louden Swain, Jason popping in and out every few minutes. After the gold panel, the guys left for the theater, officially kicking the day off for everyone else at the convention.

Jared strutted into the green room, his straw making that awful suction noise as he finished his iced coffee. “Find anything good in here?” He walked to the table of food against the wall. You hadn’t actually noticed the food, too occupied with trying to distract yourself from the weight of Jensen’s comment.

“Huh?” You looked up, pony shaking your head to clear yourself out of your daze. “Oh, um, no.” You cleared your throat and stood up. “I should probably eat something before I don’t have time to eat though, huh?” You forced a smile.

Jared’s brows furrowed together. He turned to face you when you walked over to the table. “You feelin’ alright?”

“I - yeah.” You nodded without looking at Jared, but the weak facade quickly dissolved and you found yourself on the verge of tears as you shook your head. “No. No, I’m not.”

Jared’s hand fell to your shoulder and he walked you to the couch, sitting you at one end while he situated himself in the chair beside the sofa. “What’s going on?”

“It’s - I don’t know. This morning, Jensen said to me that no one knows if I would’ve made it out of there alive last night if you two hadn’t been there.” Your voice cracked and your eyes burned with unshed tears. “And I didn’t think about it until he said it, but he’s right. Who knows what those guys would’ve done to me, Jared.”

Jared moved quickly from the chair and sat beside you, pulling you into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. We were there.”

You curled into his embrace, clutching his shirt in your hand as you sobbed. “You guys saved my life.”

Jensen walked in, the smile on his face shifting into an open-mouthed stare as he took in the sight in front of him. Jared looked up and met Jensen's eyes, giving a slight shake of his head to answer Jensen’s silent question.

Jensen crept toward the couch, kneeling down beside you and resting his hand on your knee. You jumped at the contact and looked at him, startled. “It’s just me.” Jensen said calmly. You turned at the sound of his voice and fell against Jensen’s chest. “Yeah.” He held you tightly. “I know. I’ve got you.” His arms cradled you against his body as he shifted and shooed Jared away and moved the two of you to the couch where you’d been before. Jared offered Jensen an empathetic smile and exited the room, making his way to his solo photo op session.

“I’m sorry.” Your apology flowed from your lips on a broken sob.

Jensen’s hand rubbed softly between your shoulder blades. “Stop. None of this is your fault.” He kissed the top of your head. “I really think you should get back upstairs and take the day off.”

You pulled back and looked up at him, shaking your head. “I don’t want to, Jensen. I want to do this. I need to do this.” You wiped your tears furiously on the back of your hand. “I’m stronger than this.”

“You have nothing to prove to anyone.”

“Jensen.” You huffed, sniffling. “You and Jared have come to cons busted up after bad nights before. I can do this.”

Jensen raised a hand in surrender, keeping the other arm secured around you. “Whatever you need, okay?”

You reached out and held Jensen’s hand, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles. “I need to do this. I want to go back to my room and wash my face and fix my makeup, but I will come back down here and go out on that stage.”

“You know where I’ll be.” Jensen leaned in and kissed your forehead, laying his hand on the side of your face as he cupped your jaw. He pulled his lips away from your skin and leaned his forehead against yours, the tips of your noses bumping gently before he pressed his lips against yours.

You walked into the theater behind the black curtains hanging from the metal structure above the stage. As Rob and the band played your introduction song and you made your way up the steps, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Placing your hand on the railing, you ascended the small staircase and popped onto stage.

The crowd applauded and cheered, though the theater was a bit more empty than you’d expected. Jared and Jensen were doing their duo photo ops, so you imagined that’s where the occupants of the empty seats were.

“Hi!” You painted on a smile and waved at the people still clapping for you. “How’s everybody doing?” They continued shouting, and you noticed a few people lining up along the sides of the crowd to ask you questions. “Alright, I don’t wanna talk too much,” you laughed nervously, “so let’s get this thing started.”

Fans asked about your time on set, what kind of plotline you’d like to see for Felicity, where you thought the love story between her and Dean was going - or at least, what you could tell them without spoiling anything.

You saw the signal from the side of the stage. Liz was flagging you down, telling you there were only a few minutes left. “Okay.” You turned to the next person in line at the microphone. “This might be the last question we have time for. No pressure.” You grinned.

“Well,” the woman at the microphone started, “I know a million people have already asked about how it is on set with the guys, but I was wondering - sorry, this is a little more personal. I was wondering if you could tell us what Jared and Jensen have come to mean to you? As people, as part of your life outside of the show.”

Your throat felt tight as soon as she finished her question. Your eyes burned and the air left your lungs. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out other than the squeak of a sob caught in the back of your throat. With a quick shake of your head, you dropped the microphone and covered your face with your hands.

Jensen ran on stage and threw his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a hug. “You got this.” He whispered as Jared followed behind him, coming onto the stage with a wave to the crowd and a nervous smile.

“Hey, y’all.” Jared plucked your mic off the ground and attempted to distract everyone, stepping in front of you so they couldn’t see.

Jensen held your face, running the pad of his thumb under your eye and wiping the tear from your cheekbone. He tilted your head up so you were looking at him. “You’re okay.” He spoke softly, speaking to only you. He was having a very private conversation in front of a very non-private audience. Cameras flashed and the ding of phones starting video recordings sounded around you.

“Jensen, I-”

“No.” He stared into your eyes. “You’re going to be okay. You can do this. You need to do this.” He echoed your sentiments. “So take that mic from Jared, turn to that crowd, and finish off this panel. We’re not going anywhere.”

“What?” You raised your brows.

“You heard me. We’re staying right here. Jared and I are finishing this with you.” He smiled and ran his thumb gently under your eye again.

You nodded and pulled away from Jensen, taking the microphone from Jared’s hand, cutting him off much to the amusement of the fans. “Sorry about that.” You painted on a smile as Jensen’s arm fell around your shoulders again. “Where were we?”

“I think you were telling them how much you love us.” Jared winked.

“Yeah, something like that.” You shoved Jared’s chest playfully and answered the question, explaining how much Jared and Jensen did for you, the way they kept your safe, how overall genuine they both were. “Oh, I’m getting the time’s up signal and,” Rob jumped through the curtain and joined you on stage, “the band’s back! That’s our cue.” You looked at Jared first, and then Jensen. “Exit, stage… uh, through there. Don’t worry, they’ll be back soon!” You giggled, laying your microphone on the chair and waving a goodbye to the fans. Jensen’s hand fell from your shoulder to around your waist, pulling you into his side before he ushered you down the steps behind the curtains.

He tightened his grip on you and kissed your temple. “Told you.” He said quietly.

You dismissed him and shook your head. “What’s up next?”

“We’ve got photo ops.” Jared motioned between the two of them. “With Misha.”

“She’s coming with us.” Jensen stated boldly. “She can hang out with Clif over on the side. We’ll figure it out. But she’s with us - with me.” He looked at his handler and nodded. “For the rest of the day.” Jensen’s handler quickly tapped the microphone on her headset and spoke into it, letting the other handlers know about the change in plans.

The day flew by in a blur, people squealing and crying in and out of the photo op room. Jensen sneaking sips of his whiskey and coke behind the photo op backdrop kept you entertained for the better part of the time you spent in the photo op room. Clif filled the rest of your time with stories, mentions of his wife and their trips.

“Hey.” Jensen stepped away from the backdrop. “They’re done with me for the day.”

“Okay.” You smiled up at him, grabbing his drink from his hand and finishing it off.

“Let’s go grab another couple of those before autos, yeah?” He shot you a wink and you nodded, disappearing behind the backdrop as Clif followed the two of you, shaking his head.

After the long night spent in the green room while Jared and Jensen were at their autograph sessions, you piled into the SUV with Jensen and Jared, Clif driving the three of you back to your hotel.

The three of you had found your happy place, riding out a collective buzz as you talked and giggled in the backseat.

“Hey.” You stopped the idle conversation, laying your hand on Jensen’s thigh. “Thank you.” Jensen frowned. “For earlier, I mean. Thank you - both of you,” you turned to Jared, “for saving my ass up there.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jared brushed your thanks away with a wave of his hand. “We gotcha.” He winked sloppily and turned his attention to his phone.

You squeezed Jensen’s leg, grabbing his attention. “I mean it.” You said quietly. “Thank you.”

Jensen lifted his arm, beckoning you under it and wrapping it around you, pulling you close. “You’re welcome.” He kissed you, just above your ear. “Whatever you need, babe.” You nuzzled into Jensen’s side and hummed as you closed your eyes. Laying your hand on his chest, you tipped your head up and kissed him.

Back in the hallway leading to your hotel room, you laced your fingers with Jensen’s until you reached your door. “Night.” You squeezed his hand, pulling away from him slowly.

“Yeah, night.” He smiled, not releasing your hand. Before you could turn fully, he pulled you back and his lips smashed into yours. “Goodnight.” He mumbled into the kiss. “See you in the morning.” Jared scoffed and rolled his eyes at the two of you, trudging back to his own room.

Reluctantly, you peeled yourself away from Jensen’s kiss, fumbling in your back pocket for your key card. Jensen lingered, but you waved him away as you slid the key into the slot and the light flashed green, unlocking the door. You pushed inside, waving goodbye to Jensen again before closing the door and your eyes as you leaned back against it. When you opened your eyes again, you drew your brows together as you caught a glimpse of an envelope perched on the end of your bed.

You peeled it open, unfolding the paper inside. As your eyes raked over the words printed on the page and the signature at the bottom, your mind flashed back to the first night Jensen had accompanied you to your trailer on set. You dropped the letter and ran for the door, throwing it open and shouting down the hall. “Jensen!” You called out. “Jensen, come back!”

Jensen turned on his heel and ran back to you, his shoes thudding on the carpeted floor. “What? What happened?” He ran his hand through his hair before he pushed past you and into your hotel room. “What’s wrong?” He looked back at you over his shoulder.

You bent and picked up the letter off the floor, handing it to Jensen with a shaky hand. “He - this is from him.”

Jensen’s eyes skimmed the page, reading the words, reading the threats. Logan. He swore he’d get to you, no matter what it took. Jensen dragged his eyes up from the paper in his hands. When his gaze fell on you, he watched you crumble in front of him, falling onto the end of the bed and sobbing into your palms.

All you wanted was one weekend. One night away from the nightmare that haunted you from your past. One day away from Logan.

Jensen sat beside you and wrapped you in his arms. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?” You twisted the fabric of Jensen’s shirt in your fingers. “I’m here.”

The last thing you wanted to be was vulnerable, but you were drunk, in a hotel room where your stalker - or at the very least someone your stalker had hired - had been within the last twelve hours. Your words were muffled, your mouth pressed against the cotton covering Jensen’s chest, but you meant them with every piece of your heart. “I need you, Jensen.”

gif: x

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Forever Tags: @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @beththedemonhunter @blacktithe7 @caswinchester2000 @countrygal17a @danathewitchywoman @deansgirl7695 @deanwanddamons @elizzysnow13 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @emoryhemsworth @esoltis280 @essie1876 @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @heartsaved @hillface89 @holyfuckloueh @hunterpuff @in-deans-arms @ladylachesis @lilredniki @linki-locks11 @mottergirl99 @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester @mrswhozeewhatsis @notyourtypicalrose @plaid-lover-bay25 @riversong-sam @sandlee44 @sea040561 @shaelyn102 @smoothdogsgirl @soulmates8 @speakinvain @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnbaby-67 @supernatural3002 @superromijn @tumblr-tidbits @vicmc624 @voltage-my2dlove @wayward-gypsy

Jensen Tags: @adoptdontshoppets @ashki8278 @cherrycokegirls1 @clarewinchester @dean-winchesters-bacon @deanandsamsbitch @deansgirl215 @fandom-princess-forevermore @iamabeautifulperson18 @lessons-of-red @mereka18 @princessofthefandomrealm @shamelesslydean @torn-and-frayed @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

Guarded Tags: @dean-is-my-superhero @deanw-is-pretty @for-a-brothers-love @ilovetoread44 @it-could-go-off @kalesrebellion @muchamusedaboutnothing @puppies-make-me-extra-happy @to-have-deans-love @vicmc624 @wayward-gypsy

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Loving the sailors while hating the beach (White Demon’s Love Song, Part 3.)

Series description: A new job was what the reason you found yourself on a lonely roadtrip on the western coast, ending up in the woods of Olympian Peninsula. Yet a sudden car malfuction was what cause your unplanned stay in Forks. To your surprise, there was a lot of sinister things going on under the veil of fog.

Part summary: As you spent another day with the mysterious man who invited you to stay at his place as a sign of his selflessness, you started to notice that Forks really is a strange town. And on top of that, that Jacob might be hiding something.

A/N: NCIS Forks be strong in this chaper, oh boy. 

Tagging: @missdictatorme​

Word count: 4.2 K

Twilight playlist: ✨ Twilight Crackheads ✨

Series masterlist: H E R E

The night fell on Forks slowly, almost as if it was lurking around for some time before covering the streets. For some time, you've been sitting in a super-small cubbyhole named the 'Administrative office'. Administrative up your ass, you barely didn't knock off the brooms you've been sharing the room with. It shouldn't surprise you that you were falling asleep while writing small numbers into the boxes. You've also picked up a few phones - for such a small town, there was a lot of cars just suddenly breaking down. But Jacob sometimes even took small jobs around in the smaller towns around forks - like La Push, Beaver, and Sappho.

It wasn't even nine hours when you were snoozing with your head in your palm because you've simply fallen asleep. Also, it was weird to see Jacob walking around the whole building, checking on the heating - as if he wasn't turning the heating on in such cold. It was summer and the city was still cold as hell. And this mechanic wasn't turning on his heating system? What kind of crazy he was? The man has woken you up after ten minutes, sending you to bed - yet you didn't know that he didn't walk to bed that night. As soon as he heard snoring coming out of the visitor's bedroom, Jacob made sure the door to the small flat were locked before he ran into the woods. It was time to check with the other guys - Jared and Paul, two of his friends from Sam Uley's spent their whole day on the northern route, trying to find out something more about the unwanted visitors of Forks.

At first, the werewolves weren't entirely sure if there was any vampires close at the moment. If it wasn't just some... Re-awakening of the spirit animals. That was until two days ago - now, the whole packs have transformed once again. Every night Jacob had turned into a wolf, he growled sadly when he realized there was someone he hadn't heard before - first, it was Quil alone. The man was confused, as most of them. Both of them were praying for Quil to be the last. But he wasn't - Embry and Seth coming right the night after Quil's turning. Leah was the last to join. In the meantime, Sam's pack turned at once as well. It was just like five years ago.

'Welcome back to the game, chief.' - Seth's happy and joyful voice started to talk inside Jacob's head. As he was getting closer to the manger of the Calawah river, he could hear two other wolves joining him. It was Embry and Seth - rest of the pack got their tasks the last night and went on a watch and tracking the vampire pack. Jake could hear most of the things Quil and Leah told them. - 'We know they are here. We captured the smell...' - The leader mumbled to Seth, running along the river. They weren't sprinting because there wasn't a reason to do so. Quil nor Leah hadn't smelled the rotten tomato stench the whole day, as if the vampires had suddenly disappeared into the thin air.

'Don’t worry, Jake. We'll take all of them down.' - Embry answered from the other side. Dear Lord, Jacob almost didn't notice that Embry is there, even if he knew that he's coming. He could be so quiet at times. - 'I'm silent like death, yeah, suit yourself.' - Embry answered Jake's flow of thoughts, making a few pampering sounds. This was how the wolves were laughing. To some, it could sound almost horrifying, but it made Jacob giggle as well. Giggling, when the boys were in their animal forms was a wild combination of growling and strange throat sounds. - 'Yeah, but admit, it's strange. No stench, no track, we can't find them. It's like playing blind man's buff.'

The vampires seemed to be poking around in the woods as if they were trying to find a blind spot. Maybe they already did find some. But Charlie, when Jacob was calling him earlier, didn't report any missing person. Yet all of them were sure that as soon as the vampires find the smallest cranny in the defense, it will go down. As soon as they smell a chance, it will go down. At last, this half of the pack was on the meeting point. Sam was already sitting there, watching Jacob approaching the estuary of the Bogachiel and Quillayute rivers. - 'Keep it down for a moment, alright, boys?' - Jacob asked Embry and Seth, who were waiting in a respectful distance. Embry was almost always quiet and Seth, even though there was a huge grin on his face, knew better than talking to alphas communicating. - 'I have news from Quil and Leah. They were walking the trail up at Calawah. What about your people?' - There was no greeting needed - the russet wolf simply shook his head at the bigger, black one. - 'Nothing. It's like searching for a ghost.'

Jacob had to say, that even if he wasn't in Sam's pack anymore, he liked that Sam kept it simple - no matter what happened, Sam never gave anyone too complex orders. - 'Nothing on our part of the territory as well. We will be trying to search through the North, there's lesser of us. Would your pack take the South?' - Jacob planned on trying to search through the whole Northern region, up to the Ozette Lake. There was a lot of tricky canyons smaller rivers, pounds and the vegetation was thick there as well. There was a suspicion that maybe, this time, this group of vampires was hiding next to a water source. He already had experience with the leeches hiding in the sea, why wouldn't they bivouac in a lake? - 'Sure. I'll send Jared and Brady to Hoh Ox, Lucas, and I will go a bit western closer to Oil city. We'll gather here in the morning and give all the information to Seth so he can tell everything to the morning patrol, okay?' - Without answering the question, Jacob and the rest of his small pack got up, running through the ice-cold waters of the river.

Most of the night, it was quiet and calm - sometimes, when the silence was too long, Seth started to throw in some jokes. Most of them were pretty cringe, but some made Jacob snicker under his breath. It was almost time to regroup and set to the meeting point when the whole pack felt it through Embry's eyes. The fur on the back of his neck stood up, his whole body tensed, and growls unintentionally escaped through his tests. Just as he saw a woman standing on top of one huge cliff, looking down on him, the pack tried to get to Embry's position as soon as possible.

The animal wasn't holding anything back - as soon as it saw the woman, it sprang forward to kill her. But she just leaned her head to her shoulder, furrowing at the sight. It appeared as if she wasn't even taken away by seeing such a huge wolf. Based on the stench, she realized this wasn't just some wolf, but she hadn't even flinched. - 'Embry, don't!' - Jacob cried out just when Embry made his way onto the cliff, trying to take the cold woman down. Yet just when the wolf almost caught her ankle in his mouth, she jumped down while still studying every move the animal made.

She wasn't supposed to attack, no. Her posture was strictly curious, careful - the woman might tease them a bit, see how they react, but she surely wasn't about to strike back. She was a scout, sent there by her pack to study the animals. Sam's pack might've encountered another one. - 'Back off, Embry. She's just playing with you!' - Seth, who realized it as well, called out. - 'He's right. wait for us and then we'll try to chase her down!' - Jacob yelled at his friend and jumped onto the lake's beach, circling at the woman's back. It didn't take too long until Seth slowly walked out of the woods on the other side. The woman was quietly scanning all of them and Jacob's size certainly did surprise her. Embry was huge - but Jacob was even bigger.

'We won't catch her, no matter what we do. She isn't going to attack.' - Seth realized and started analyzing her back. At this, the woman smiled and started to lean her head just like Seth was. The pack was still closing on her, but as soon as she would feel threatened she'll simply run away. - "Interesting." - She mumbled and closed her eyelids a bit. - "We don't wanna hurt you. We won't be attacking you or your packs - we just want free access to the city, that's it." - The woman cried out. A terrifying grin appeared on her face for a second as the thought she might succeed. The deep growling came from everyone's mouth at the same time, giving her exactly the answer she needed. - "So you have chosen death. I'll tell it to the others." - And with that, she disappeared. As if she wasn't there, as if she just disappeared into the thin air. The wolves watched each other. The scent didn't lead them too far into the woods, it was as if the woman was just a dream.

Forks, 9:00 a.m.:

You were sleeping in the bed, safe and sound. Your mouth tasted disgusting, and you had a slight headache - you didn't even want to see your damn hair. Even if you knew it was just a lie, the room felt too warm for a moment. For the first time during your road trip, you weren't feeling cold. Lazily, you searched for your phone and read through the news and such. Then your eyes flought to the clock - oh Lord, Jacob had to open the workshop already, hadn't he? And there you were, laying in the bed, covered in a thick blanket.

Never in your life before, you had dressed as quick as you did that morning. Just when you wanted to run into the bathroom, as you opened door to your room, you heard snoring shaking every piece of pottery. With a straight face, you looked at its source - it was the man himself, somehow puzzled on his small sofa - his hands and one of his leg were laying on the ground, his hair was way messier than yours and also, the blanket was too small for someone like him. Jesus, he must've come back so late, you didn't even want to stop yourself.

As you were tiptoeing around the sofa, you noticed something - his feet. They were covered in soil and needles as if he was walking around in the woods barefooted. What was he doing late, in the woods, and barefooted? Was he searching the best location for a grave? Was he checking out his secret killer case hidden in the woods? With risen eyebrows, you locked yourself in the bathroom. At first, you thought he was just working late. That was it. But the soil on his feet made you insecure. Quickly, you brushed your teeth, combed your hair, and sneaked out of the flat. For a moment, you were thinking about walking to talk to Charlie.

While standing in front of the back door, you were biting on your lower lip and tried to figure out what to do. But in the end, you closed the door again and walked to the 'Administration office' to work on another part of the messy paperwork. Dear Lord, Jacob was bad with bureaucracy. In this, he was honest with you. Sometimes, you couldn't even read what was written down on the paper - so you were re-writing the text and sums on a fresh document while lamenting about his messy handwriting. Jacob came in barely half an hour after you. Yet the man was so quiet he almost gave you a heart attack as he stood in the cubbyhole's doorframe. - "Morning to you too." - The man grinned at you when you finally realized he's standing there and yelled out loud for the God's sake. - "Am I looking that bad?" - The man looked all over his body to see if there was something wrong. He was now looking way better than when you saw him laying on the sofa.

His hair was put into a man bun once more, he changed his clothes and presumably took a quick shower. You didnt know what was hiding under these socks. - "I just... Didn't hear you coming. I was really into reading your 'Volkswagen repair... Re-hair..'. Fuck, I can't read it." - With that, you sighed and tried to figure out the hieroglyphs once again. Jacob grinned at your attempts and drank a sip out of his mug of coffee. Silently, you looked him in the eyes - there were deep, black circles. Well, you weren't surprised. Sleeping on that sofa must've messed with him. Yet even the color in his face seemed to be fading away. - "Man, you have coffee?" - You cried out instead of asking him weird, personal questions. - "Uh, I don't wanna break it down to you... But most people have coffee at home or at work. You want some?"

And he brought you the promised cup - along with a slice of apple pie from Mrs. Peterson. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Jacob was working on his cars, humming most of the songs playing on the radio, while you finished the first few months of that year's paperwork. With an overly concentrated face, you categorized the papers into files, thoroughly writing the months they've containing. That was it for the most part.

Sometimes, when your ass started to hurt, you walked around the workshop, and once, you were so courageous that you took your jacket and walked into the freezing Forks. You never walked too far - but dear Lord, wasn't it cold? The mist wasn't supposed to come out of your mouth in August. It couldn't be more than 46 degrees outside, Jesus Christ. And Tacoma was even more on the North.

You've discovered a few peculiarities on your way. There was a real good looking steak restaurant, a library, and a local high school... Which didn't look like high school at all, in your opinion. For the locals, it was clear as a day you weren't from Forks - mainly because anyone who was from the North wouldn't be shaking because they felt cold. The more courageous ones even stopped you, mostly the older women living in the town just so they could brag about talking to the new girl in town. However, they were respectful and nice, always laughing at your attempts to joke.

"Huh. I was thinking about searching for you. I thought you might've frozen somewhere." - Jacob hummed from under the car he was working on at the moment. It looked like an old minivan. Oh, you'd like seeing me freezing somewhere, might as well get your goal easier, huh? You thought to yourself. You also noticed that the radio was playing the Sea Wolf song (which you've heard at least ten times since you arrived at Forks) and that Jacob knew every word of the song. Well, he couldn't be considered a singer, yet this was slightly against your care of this huge man being a killer. What killer would be singing a love song so blatantly? - "I just met some lady named Karen Newton? She was nice, but I couldn't get out of the conversation, dear Lord." - "Oh, old Mrs. Newton? She's super nosy. What was she asking you about?" - Suddenly, his face appeared from under the car as he was searching for his rug. - "The basics, I guess. Why I'm here, what's my name, how old I am... She seemed very happy when I told her how old I am." - Throughout the small talk, you've taken off your jacket and sat on the 'Administration office's' chair while looking at Jacob drinking a whole cup of super hot coffee. His eating and drinking habits were making you a bit uneasy, but whatever.

"Dear Lord. I'll tell you why is that." - The man sat on his small chair as well, looking back at you. - "She has a son named Mike. And she's trying to find him a girlfriend... Again. Do expect the boy suddenly appearing here soon." - Oh. Okay. So she wasn't just nice... She was trying to figure out if you're good enough for her son. Mrs. Newton didn't seem to be thrilled by your career choice, but her eyes started to shine when you answered her question about having a partner. - 'No, I'm single.' - You told her. That was a misstep. - "But, worry not, even though he's not on my list of favorite people, most people say he's a nice guy." - "Unbelievable!" - A squeal came out of you as you started to laugh from the bottom of your belly. - "I'm here one day and you already think about who I should date. Oh God, that's why I don't like small towns!"

Jacob smiled into his mug. He hadn't seen someone laugh so hard for a long time - and honestly, it was nice to take some time off the vampire-hunting thing to think about stupidities like dating and such. - "I just think that two weeks is a lot of time. This seems like fun." - The man mumbled and climbed back on his small assembly bed. You couldn't understand how the thing could be still standing on its small wheels under his weight, but you weren't wrapping your brain around it too much. - "I also saw a pretty dope steak house like... Five minutes from here." - Okay, this was interesting. His head appeared from below the car once again. - "Do I look like I'm looking for someone to date? No, thank you." - With that, he disappeared again, leaving you to sit there with a subdued expression.

This was straightaway rude. There was the cold, annoyed man once more. And yes, it almost ruined your day. Jacob just flipped at least by 180° in front of you, showing you the fed up man once again. It was the mysterious Bella, wasn't it? Also, who was asking him out on a date? There was a cool-looking restaurant near the workshop and you didn't want to cook all the damn time. Dear Lord, you were in the temptation to spit something about split personality disorder, but you just sipped your coffee to keep your mouth shut. - "All I'm saying is that instead of sitting there the whole time and cooking all the time, we might at least consider take out." - Well, you were firing in the same tone as he was. Under the car, he muttered out a few curse words. The man realized he might go too harsh after you.

It was just... It sounded like a date proposition, to be honest. And there was a lot of going on for Jacob at the moment - the stress of shifting again, a vampire hunt... And to be honest, he still didn't get over what happened with Bella - so even though you didn't have any idea about who the hell she was, you were right in this. - "Sure. Take out sounds good." - Jacob told you when you were sitting in your cubbyhole once again, continuing to do your job.

The rest of the day was more or less quiet and calm - Jacob finished the minivan and started to poke around with your Beetle, at least until an old man came for the car. As you got to know when he introduced himself, this was Mr. Newton and Karen's husband. When he realized who you were, he started to apologize for his wife and the bunch of super-weird and awkward questions. He promised you that in any case, his son won't be asking you out just because Karen liked you. No way in hell.

It was that evening when Jacob finished half of the first step with your car - he cleaned most of the inside, mainly around the engine, and started to make a specific list. Said list was meaningless to you since you didn't know jack shit about cars. But Jacob seemed to know what he was doing, so you just continued with doing what you were doing. When the Sea Wolf were playing for the seventh time, that day alone, you were already sure about every word in the chorus. You were singing it along with Jacob.

When it got late, it was time for you to perform a subtle observation of Jacob's behavior. Around the same time as the previous evening, you pretended that you're sleepy as hell - and told him you're going to bed. And since you got to the bed, after a proper hot shower, it was the waiting game from that point on. You've been pretending that you're sleeping and you did so for such a long time that you almost fell asleep for real. But creaking of the floor made you aware that he ended his work in the shop. For a moment, it seemed that he's listening if you're sleeping. After a few pretty convincing snores, you've heard the door creaking again and the door to the small flat locking. With your breath hitched, you tiptoed to the window, leaned your thighs into the warm hearing, and looked from the window - you've heard him locking the garage, so the only possible exit was right under your window.

And he soon came out - he was half-naked, dressed in some torn pants, barefoot again, looking around as if he was making sure that there's no-one who would be watching him. There was a small moment where your breath hitched completely. What in the world was Jacob doing there, without a t-shirt when it was still just 46 degrees there? Quickly, he ran to the woods - and he didn't come out for the whole half an hour you've been looking at the exact spot where he disappeared.

Your throat got swollen as you climbed under the blanket again. Sure, you had the suspicion he might hurt you at some point, but you knew that the fear is irrational for the most part. You've been just freaked out by large dudes since... That happened. This was making you feel very uneasy and unsafe. Who would disappear in the woods dressed like that when it was so damn cold? How long was he just walking around? Or what was he doing in there?

Could he be a killer of sorts? Was this man dangerous? Did he hurt someone before? Bullocks, you stopped yourself. Charlie seemed to be fond of the man. And he was the crown cop of Forks. No way in hell police chief would be in on this as well... Or would he? The terror was making your sleep very bad. You were waking up every half an hour because you had pretty vivid, intense nightmares.

It was at around three in the morning, you've been up for some time, when you heard Jacob walking into the flat, locking the door behind him. He was... Limbing? It sounded as if he had trouble walking straight - he knocked something over on his way to the sofa. When he crashed there, a loud sound made you aware he did so, you heard him whine for a while before he got up again - presumably to put some clothes on. Then, after some time, you heard his body falling onto the small sofa once more. With closed eyes, you've been listening to the whole process and the silence after. After another hour of laying in the bed, not letting out a single sound, you carefully got up. Deep snoring was residing through the few rooms Jacob had in his flat. You've opened up the door carefully, making sure it won't creak and stuck your head out. With a furrow, your gaze scanned the sleeping man.

Again, his hair was let down, the blanket was too small for him and his whole feet were covered in the soil. Did he think you won't notice? As you closed the door, you sighed against your will. There has been something going on in Forks - and Jacob was heavily involved in this. You decided to observe him for at least two days, to make sure he does this regularly and then... What will you do then? As you laid under the blanket again, your legs got cold and you finally realized what you had to do.

You had to follow him and see what was going on.

[iwantthedean]

I’d Like to Know

Into Your Eyes Heart Won’t Lie I Can’t Love You Back

Summary: After months of not seeing each other, you ask Jensen to meet you on the beach one more time.  Pairing: Jensen x Reader Word Count: 1530 (Excluding Lyrics) Warnings: Leaving someone at the altar, angst.  Square Filled: Song Fic for BTZ Bingo. Song inspo is Scratch by Kendall Payne. A/N: This wraps up this lovely little mini-series! I’ve linked the first three parts at the top of this post for easy access to catch up! I’m not going to make any promises about writing/posting more regularly, but I’ll do my best :)

It’s a big girl world now/Full of big girl things/And everyday/I wish I small

Standing at the altar in a white dress, your hands in that of a man you loved, who loved you, the world started to close in on you. All you could think about was the ring on your finger — the one like the one Jensen had offered you — and the man in front of you who wasn’t Jensen. 

“Y/N, do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish …”

There were more words, but your ears drowned them out. Your vision blurred before coming back, and your heart raced in your chest. The pastor must have gotten to the question part of the vows. Your fiancé squeezed your hands, bringing your attention back. 

You looked at the man in front of you, looked at everyone seated in the pews of the church, waiting for your answer. When you looked back to your fiancé, you shook your head. A minute movement, barely detectable; the words you spoke next confirmed the gesture. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I can’t.”

I am tired of hearing myself speak/Do you ever get weary/Do you every get weak

Months had passed since Jensen had seen her in that bridal shop — and by chance, at that. He had moved into a smaller place, avoided the coffee shop, avoided any news of her wedding. That event had been scheduled for weeks ago. Hell, he had avoided even driving by the beach because it made him think of her. 

Needless to say, when he received a message from her, asking to meet on the beach again, Jensen balked. He read the message three times, then set his jaw and continued on with what he was doing. He had some scripts and interviews to review before meeting Jared for drinks later, and he was on a deadline. 

Of course, her message kept him from concentrating. The interviews had already been okayed by his agent, and the scripts were going to have to wait. He showered, dressed in a plain tee and jeans, and sprayed on a little cologne before finding his keys and heading out to find Jared. 

“Oh, you’re in rare form tonight,” Jared snorted, detecting right away that something was off. He ordered a round and waited for Jensen to say something. 

“I’m fine.” He picked a couple peanuts from the bowl between them and cracked them open, eating the meats and tossing the shells to the floor. He thanked the bartender for his beer and took a good gulp from the cold glass. 

Jared took a regular-sized drink from his own pint glass. “Yeah, I don’t buy that. Might as well tell me now, Jay. Get it over with.”

With a frustrated groan, Jensen opened his phone to Y/N’s message. He looked at it again, shook his head, and slid the phone Jared’s direction. 

“It’s been what, like, a year?” Jensen scoffed. “Now she’s just going to message and ask to meet me? You know how close I was to being over this girl?”

“Yeah, so close.” Jared rolled his eyes. 

Jensen frowned. “What?”

“You’re about as over her as you are over drinking.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Jared slid the phone back to Jensen. “I think you should at least meet with her and see what she has to say. Why are you so angry about it anyway?”

“She’s married, Jared,” Jensen felt the need to remind his friend. “What, is she going to rub it in how happy she is with some other guy? And I’m not angry about it, I’m … I’m …”

“Wanna know what I think?”

Jensen shrugged, drinking down more of his beer and dipping into the peanut bowl again. “Please, enlighten me.”

“I think you’re afraid of seeing her again at all, because you’re not over her. I think you know you’re never gonna be over her. I think seeing her again is going to wreck you, and you know that.” Quieter, Jared added, “And I think we both know you put a little extra cologne on tonight hoping to pick up someone you can take home and make you forget for the night.” 

Shaking his head, Jensen opted not to answer — mostly because he knew Jared was entirely correct. He chugged down the rest of his beer and waved the bartender down for another round. He looked down the counter at the pretty blonde already giving him eyes; Jensen smiled back. 

Jared shook his head and finished off his beer, gratefully accepting the second one placed in front of him. “She’s not gonna chase Y/N away. You’ve just got to go see her, man. Get some closure, or whatever. Do me a favor — quit looking at that girl over there. Text Y/N back.”

It took the rest of his beer and a shot of tequila, but Jensen finally took Jared’s advice and messaged her a time and place. Maybe Jared was right — maybe he needed the closure. Then he could finally move on with his life, in both head and heart. 

I’m so afraid/Of what you’ll say/I’d like to know if you’d be open/To starting over from scratch/I’d like to know if you’d be open/To give me a second chance

“Your hair’s longer.”

Pulling your attention from the waves and the wind you had been so concentrated on, you turned to your left. Jensen was walking toward you, hands in his pockets. Your breath caught in your throat; it had been too long since you set eyes on him. With a brief, grateful smile you walked through the sand towards him. 

“Thank you for meeting me,” you started. “I wasn’t sure if you would. It’s been a long time.”

Jensen nodded. “It has. I wasn’t going to meet you, honestly, but Jared thought the closure would be good for me.”

“Closure, right.” You pressed your lips into a thin line, looked down at your hands, wringing in front of you. “I guess that’s something maybe we both need.”

“Married life not going so well?” The disdain in Jensen’s voice was painfully detectable. 

You swallowed. “I didn’t get married, Jensen. I couldn’t. I was there, at the altar, and the only thing I could think of was that it should have been you.” Your hands dropped to your sides, balled into angry fists. Tears glazed over your eyes. “How did you do it? A few visits in a coffee shop, some phone calls … it seems like nothing, but it was so much more than that! You made me fall in love with you, but it wasn’t just me. There was her too and I — I just —”

There words ran out on you. You were having this spectacular rant, and then you met his eyes, just the once, and you were undone. Wrecked. You covered your face with your hands as the tears fell, uncontrolled. Even after all of this time apart, all this time of denying him, you couldn’t escape the hold that Jensen had on you — had on your heart. 

Gentle hands pulled yours away from your face. You hesitated to open your eyes and look up, but when you did, Jensen was there. His countenance had softened; he wiped your tears away with one hand, the other settled on your hip. 

“I’ve never stopped loving you,” he confessed. “I wanted to believe that I did, that I was over it. But I got your text message, and I got scared. I was afraid that seeing you again would set me back to square one. I thought maybe the closure would help, but now you’re here, you’re not married. Why did you ask me here?”

You let out a deep breath. “Because you let her go a while ago and I just — I wanted to know — without the chase, without the drama, in these ordinary circumstances, after the time that’s passed … could you still love me?”

The question was more difficult to ask than you had expected. Your voice broke on those last five words, too afraid that his answer would be no. You let your head hang, resting slightly against Jensen’s chest — more a result of his nearness than a purposeful action. 

Jensen put his hands on your shoulders and dipped his head to kiss your hair. He rubbed his hands up and down your arms a couple of times before quietly saying your name. 

“Look at me,” he beckoned. 

It took a deep breath and some courage, but you did as he asked. You sniffled back the tears, even though looking into his eyes made them flow harder, it seemed. 

Jensen’s mouth tugged into a soft smile, and his hands rested on either side of your neck. His thumbs caressed your jawline. Your hair whipped around in the wind; Jensen used one hand to push it away from your face. 

“I don’t think you understand, Y/N, that there’s no possible way for me not to love you. I’ve tried, very unsuccessfully, for too long now.”

 The tears that fell now were happy ones. You wrapped your arms tight around his neck as you cried, months and months of tension relieved with his one statement. Jensen held you tight around the waist, kissing your temple and promising you that everything was going to be all right from here on out.

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[you-and-i-for-forever]

10 Things I Hate About You AU Chapter 11

Fandom: Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hansen

Word count: 6.5k

Feel free the read this on my ao3 instead!

Evan tried to force himself to feel confident as he walked down the stairs. He had been able to keep his anxiety at bay so far, but there was no telling when it might overtake him.

He swallowed heavily behind the tie he had taken eight minutes to successfully put on. Evan quickly grabbed a small container out of the fridge and made his way to the front door.

Mr. Heere was sitting on the couch, legs propped up on the coffee table, reading a book about parenting.

“I’m going to the dance. I’ll be home later.” Evan said, looking out the window to see Michael was parked in on the road, waiting for him.

“That’s funny Evan,” Mr. Heere said, who didn’t look up from his book.

Evan let out a quick, breathy laugh as he closed the front door.

It was kinda was funny.

 -

Jeremy ran his fingers through his hair again, making sure it was perfect before racing downstairs. He smiled at his dad made his way to the front door where his ride of Brooke, Chloe, and Jake were waiting.

“What is that?” His dad asked, getting up from the couch and gesturing at him.

“A…suit?” Jeremy answered confused by the confusion.

“Stop. Explain.” His dad said, crossing over to him.

“Okay. Remember how you said I could date if Evan dated? Well, he somehow found this guy and they’re dating now. Which kind of really works out for me because I was asked to the dance. And since Evan went, I guess I’m allowed to go too.” Jeremy said with a smile and a shrug before opening the door and waving to his dad.

“This is not good.” Jeremy heard his dad sigh under his breath before he closed the door completely.

-

When they got to the school, Michael and Evan found Rich right away, standing outside and away from the crowds of people filling in through the doors.

Once they were out of the car, Evan watched Michael bounce over to Rich and fist bump each other and laugh. Evan smiled, happy that Michael was going to have a good time tonight, regardless of Jeremy.

“Hey.” A voice said from behind him. Evan jumped and turned around.

Connor looked so…amazing. He was wearing a black suit with a long black ribbon where a tie should be. His suit jacket was textured, almost velvety, with little detailing instead of buttons. His hair looked slightly styled and pushed behind one ear. He was so tall and lanky and absolutely, devastatingly beautiful.

Evan wanted to tell him so.

“Connor you look…I-I-I-mean-I mean you really look, just…you look...” Evan stumbled and stammered before coming up with “wow.”

Connor’s face grew a little red but he smiled, “You too…Nice tie.”

Both of them let out nervous laughs. Evan was just wearing a blue suit with black lining and Connor’s tie, nothing special. Nothing like how Connor looked.

“Oh here. I got this for you.” Connor said and pulled a bundle of flowers out of his pocket. Cedar leaves and small purplish-blueish flowers. Evan thought they might be forget-me-nots.

“We didn’t really say if we were gonna do these but I thought it could be cool.” Connor moved forward and skillfully pinned the boutonniere to Evan’s lapel.

Evan pulled his hands from behind his back to reveal his boutonniere for Connor in a plastic container. It had been sitting in his fridge for the past few hours. Evan fumbled with opening the lid but was finally able to pull out the arrangement of half blooming red roses. A small heart dangled from a chain on the end of the pin and Evan saw Connor raised his eyebrows at it.

“You might not wear your heart on your sleeve, but…” Evan let out a small laugh, and the air between them seemed to say, “but you can wear mine.”

Connor’s gaze trailed up from the pin to Evan’s eyes. Evan was surprised to see Connor’s face as red as the roses. He put his hands on either side of Evan’s face and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Evan made a noise in surprise but kissed back, pleased to know that he could make Connor look as flustered as he made Evan feel all the time.

“Hey! Come on you guys!” Michael called and Rich snickered.

The two of them broke apart and Evan gave an acknowledging wave to Michael before finally pinning the flowers to Connor’s lapel. Connor reached up and touched the heart charm delicately.

“Let’s go,” Connor said and grabbed for Evan’s hand but paused. He scrunched up his face in confusion, “Wait a minute.”

Connor pulled Evan’s hand up to inspect it. Evan had messily painted his nails black, with the help of a YouTube tutorial, to match Connor’s. 

“Oh, I thought we could match,” Evan said.

They smiled at each other and giggled, Connor brought his hand closer to kiss it.

“You’re a good boyfriend,” Connor said against his hand.

“Boy-boyfriend?” Evan stuttered out.

Connor squeezed his hand and nodded, “Well yeah, I wouldn’t just do all this with just anyone. Come on, let’s go inside.” He walked with Evan over to where Michael and Rich were waiting.

-

As soon as they entered the building, Michael tried to pull Evan and Connor onto the dance floor. The pair uncomfortably laughed him off and said they wanted to go and get something to eat first. They wandered off and ate some cookies and drank punch and sat at one of the decorated cafeteria tables.

Evan, not exactly sure of his end goal, kept shying closer and closer to Connor. Eventually, Connor put his hand on Evan’s waist and pulled him close. They watched their classmates jump around and dance to a bunch of pop music Evan had heard once or twice on the radio.

Evan saw Michael dancing around with Rich. Well, it was more flailing. After a while, Jared appeared out of nowhere joined them. Evan watched Michael point Jared towards him. Jared jogged over and rested his hands on the table.

“Hey Connor, love the jacket,” Jared said in a voice that was between teasing and genuine.

Evan watched Connor stare Jared down before giving a cautious, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Jared grinned like the Cheshire cat and leaned forward, “Say, you wouldn’t mind if I danced with Evan for a bit, would you?”

Jared reached his hand out to Evan. Evan felt Connor’s grip on his waist tighten.

“I’ll come with you,” Connor said and stood up, Evan following his lead.

Jared smirked, “Come on then!”

Evan and Connor followed Jared over to the group.

“Hey, finally!” Michael cried, out of breath as he continued to spring up and down.

“Told you I could get them out here.” Jared laughed.

Evan glanced over at Connor and was surprised to see his head bobbing to the music. Connor glanced over at his with a small smile before starting to rock on his heels in time with the music. He looked so genuinely happy and young. When Connor was upset it looked like he was much older to Evan. But right now he looked like any other 17 year old in the room, having fun and starting to dance a little.

Evan started to bop up and down, so embarrassed to be doing this where anyone could see, but willing to do anything at this point to keep the smile on Connor’s face.

After a bit, he and Connor were both jumping up and down with the rest of their group and singing loudly to songs that all sounded the same. He and Connor held hands the entire time.

-

Jeremy, Jake, Chloe, and Brooke finally arrived at the dance after sitting in front of the school in Brooke’s mom’s minivan for 20 minutes.

“It’s called fashionably late,” Chloe had said, rolling her eyes and applying more pink lipstick.

Jeremy and Chloe hadn’t spoken about what happened that night at the party and, honestly, Jeremy wasn’t sure he ever wanted to. Jake didn’t know it had happened and Jeremy didn’t want to bring it up now. Or ever, maybe. It didn’t sit well with him, but for now, it was better than causing a fuss.

As promised, Jake was wearing a purple suit, lined with gold trim and he did look good in it. He had painted the white casts on his legs purple to match and decided that this was the perfect night to dump the wheelchair and totter around on crutches.

Jeremy had his arms wrapped around Jake’s waist as they slowly made their way into the school, wary of the snow that was just starting to fall.

Chloe and Brooke immediately left Jeremy and Jake once they got inside.

“Probably going off to find their dates,” Jake said, smiling down at Jeremy.

Jeremy smiled back at him then looked out to the sea of dancers.

Michael caught his eye immediately.

He was jumping up and down, hair flying all over the place.

Jeremy felt the corner of his mouth pull up, almost completely forgetting everything bad that had happened between them lately. As soon as he saw who Michael was dancing with, Jeremy’s mood immediately took a nosedive.

Jared.

And Rich, for some weird reason.

But he was here with Jared. Of course, he was here with Jared. Who else would it be? They were always together and it was so obvious they liked each other so it really wasn’t that surprising.

Jeremy swallowed around a lump in his throat.

He completely missed how Jake was staring at the same group, how his eyes lingered on Rich.

“Let’s get some punch.” They both said and made their way towards the food table, both quietly trying to ignore their sadness.

-

The DJ continued with the steady flow of fast-paced songs before she finally reached for the mic and announced, “All right party people, it’s time to slow things down a bit, so grab a partner if you have one, and if not, this is a great time to go rehydrate and chat up that cutie you’ve been eyeing all night.”

Evan’s group of friends all stopped dancing around and Michael and Rich partnered off with each other. Connor pulled Evan close to him, looking warily at Jared, the only person without someone in the group.

“Don’t worry, lover boy.” Jared smiled and cocked his head toward the snack table, “I’ve already got someone else in mind.”

Jared disappeared and Evan turned to face Connor.

“I’ve never slow danced before,” Evan said, a hand instinctively coming up to pick at a cast what wasn’t there anymore.

“Me either.” Connor said and grabbed both of Evan’s arms and wrapped them around his waist then placed his hands on Evan’s shoulders, “But I’ve seen movies.”

Evan leaned forward and kissed Connor before nestling his head on his chest. Their feet shuffled along the floor and they just sort of swayed together. It was probably stupid…but Evan felt so safe when Connor had his hands on him.

As a second slow song started, Evan heard Rich and Michael gasp.

“What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out” Rich and Michael started to sing.

They sang fairly quiet for the most part, but as soon as the chorus hit, their voices became very loud and very obnoxious.

“'Cause aaaaaaaaall of me! Loves aaaaaaaall of you! Love your curves and all your edges! All your perfect imperfections!” They shout-sang.

Evan opened his eyes and saw that most other couples were moving away from the two, glaring. He laughed a little, but Connor huffed and started dancing them away from them as well.

“They’re having a good time.” Evan hummed.

“They can go have a good time somewhere else, I don’t want them ruining our night.” Connor murmured into his ear.

Evan pulled back so look into Connor’s blue and brown eyes, “Nothing could ruin this night for me.”

Connor’s face broke into a goofy grin then roughly pulled Evan into a kiss. Evan giggled as Connor trailed kisses up to his forehead. They started swaying again.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Connor whispered.

“Me too,” Evan breathed, feeling like all the wind was knocked out of him.

Connor leaned down and they kissed again. They were in their own little world, dancing closely together.

-

This night was not going as Jake had planned. He had wanted to dance and have fun and make out with Jeremy.

They had tried to dance, but Jake’s legs kept giving out from under him and his arms were tired from holding himself up.

They had tried to have fun, they went into the photo booth and watched Mr. Reyes perform some magic tricks and talked to a bunch of people, but Jake just wasn’t feeling it at all.

They hadn’t even tried to make out yet. Sure, Jeremy’s hands were all over him, but Jake knew that was to make sure he didn’t fall over.

None of this was right.

Now, he and Jeremy were sitting at a white-clothed table, Jeremy picking at some food on his plate and Jake watching Rich.

Why was he with those other guys? Since when was he friends with them? He recognized Jeremy’s brother and the weird guy he was paying, and he knew the other two were familiar, but he couldn’t really place them.

Rich was smiling and laughing and genuinely looked like he was having a good time. Rich never acted like that when he wasn’t with Jake.

Jake couldn’t help but hyper fixate on Rich’s face. A large red burn ran from his left cheek, down his neck, and disappeared under the collar of the shirt he was wearing.

He felt like an idiot. Rich was his best friend, what the hell was he doing here without him? What the hell was he doing anywhere without him?

Jake stood up suddenly, causing Jeremy to Jake.

“Jake? You okay?” Jeremy asked.

Jake didn’t answer, just stood staring ahead at Rich before coming to his senses and sitting back down.

What would he even say to him?

“Hey, sorry for not doing or saying anything while you were in the hospital for weeks?”

“You were smoking hot even before you caught on fire?”

“I don’t want to be with him, I want to be with you?”

The last one bounced around his head for a long time.

Jake flinched when he felt a gentle hand touch his arm. He looked over at Jeremy.

“You should go talk to him,” Jeremy said with a small smile.

Jake looked between him and Rich. Usually, at times like these, Jake would start talking a mile a minute trying to explain himself.

“I’m sorry.” Was all that came out.

“I think we both need to sort some things out,” Jeremy said with a kind smile.

Jake smiled back at him, “Yeah.”

Jake leaned over and kissed Jeremy’s cheek before grabbing his crutches and standing up. He took a few shaky steps before looking back at Jeremy.

“Thanks. I’ll never forget you.” Jake said.

Jeremy scrunched his eyebrows together, “We’re breaking up, not dying. And we’ll still go to school together.”

“Right,” Jake said with a huge smile and a laugh before making his way over to Rich.

-

Rich spun around when he collided with someone behind him. He was about ready to cuss them out for hitting a particular patch of sensitive skin on the back of his bicep when he realized who it was.

 “Hey, can we talk?” Jake asked, towering over him.

Rich couldn’t even make eye contact with him, he just nodded.

~

Rich staggered down the hallway. Jake was heavy. Rich tried not to jostle his legs too much, but he was so tall. Rich felt like he was so hunched over, his face was practically parallel with his ribcage, skin sensitive.

“Rich, stop, I can walk,” Jake said, Rich rolled his eyes at him.

“Yeah, barely.” Rich huffed out.

It was a long walk down a hallway from the cafeteria to the nurse’s office. He grunted and readjusted Jake on his back. Rich was really out of shape from having to not move too much with the burns.

Jake moved his arm that was dangling around Rich’s neck and Rich gritted his teeth to not let out a pained breath.

“Seriously man, I wanna talk,” Jake said.

“We’ll talk when you can get around without falling over,” Rich said between gritted teeth, “you almost fell over like seven times just walking away from the dance floor.”

Jake had kept stumbling and staggering every few feet when they walked off together so Rich stood in front of him and told him to hop on. Jake had tried to sidestep him but had slipped and basically fallen onto Rich. He had dropped the crutches and held onto Rich when he started moving and now, they were here, almost to the nurse’s office.

Carrying Jake was like carrying a huge dead body, a dead body wearing a purple suit and two heavy leg casts.

Jake helped Rich open the main office door and the nurse’s door when they got to it.

Once they were in, Rich practically dropped Jake down on the small, plastic bed that sat in the corner.

“How do you even know there’s a wheelchair in here?” Jake asked.

“I’m in here most days to put stuff on my burns. Saw this in here randomly” Rich said, opening the closet and pulling out the infamous wheelchair. 

“Here.” Rich brought it over to Jake.

“Thanks,” Jake said with a smile.

Rich braced himself for the pain and grabbed Jake behind the knees and around the back. Rich’s skin burned and itched and pulled but he bit the inside of his mouth to not let Jake know. He lifted him, shuffled over to the wheelchair, and gently set Jake in it.

“So…what did you want to talk about?” Rich asked after kneeling to help Jake’s feet find the footrests.

Jake reached up and rubbed the side of his face.

“I wanted to say…I’m sorry about…lots of stuff. I kinda got all wrapped up in Jeremy and stupid bullshit and it took me coming to the dance with some other guy to make me realize that.”

Rich felt his heart soften.

“It’s cool.” He said.

“No dude! It’s not! I wasn’t myself, we stopped hanging out, I didn’t even come see you in the hospital!”

“It’s cool,” Rich said again.

“Bro! No, it’s not! Stop saying that! You’re my boy and I was such a dick to you, that’s not cool!” Jake grabbed Rich’s hand and pulled him close, “I’m sorry Rich.”

Rich felt his heart flutter at his hand being held.

“I’m sorry too.” Rich said after a deep sigh, “I was annoyed you were hanging out with some rando. You’re, like, my only friend and I guess I got jealous or something.”

“Okay, I’m definitely not your only friend, that’s stupid.”

“No dude, you’re my only friend…and my first friend.”

“What?” Jake asked.

“Until we started talking last year, I wasn’t friends with anyone here.”

“Didn’t you have friends at your other school?”

“What other school?” Rich asked.

Did Jake mean middle school?

“Like before you transferred here?” Jake said, Rich tilted his head confused.

“I’ve been here since freshman year; I didn’t transfer from anywhere.”

“Wait, what? You went here then? How the hell didn’t I know?” Jake said.

Rich felt his face heat up and pulled his hand away. He walked over to a cupboard and pulled out his burn cream. He started rubbing his arms down with his to distract himself from having to look at Jake.

Fucking embarrassing.

“I was here, you probably just didn’t remember me. I was a lot different then. Like, I was just super lame and dressed like a fucking bitch. And I didn’t talk to anyone and I had this god-awful lisp and, you know, thank god you don’t remember me like that.”

It was silent for a moment then Jake rolled up to Rich and held out his hand. Rich sighed and handed the cream over to Jake. Jake lightly started smoothing the ointment over Rich’s collarbone.

Rich closed his eyes and blew air out through his nose.

  “I remember you. I thought you were so fucking cool. There was just something about you.”

Rich swallowed hard when Jake’s fingers moved up to the side of his neck.

“I just wanted to be your friend so bad, dude. You were just cool so fucking effortlessly and I just wanted to be around you so I changed so I could have a chance.”

Rich opened his eyes and Jake was looking down at his hands, getting more ointment. He put his hand on the back on Rich’s neck and rubbed in the cream.

Rich’s face heated up as he thought about what to say next. He was telling Jake the truth, might as well be the whole truth.

“And I also sorta had…a crush on you.”

Jake jerked Rich forward with the hand on the back of his neck and brought their lips together.

Rich instantly threw himself backward, almost off the chair.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked, practically sputtering.

Rich couldn’t think. His mind was completely blank. His heartbeat was in his ears.

“Dude,” Jake said with a side smile, “the whole time I was with Jeremy, all I could ever think about was you.”

Rich just sat there with his mouth parted and his eyes bugging out of his head.

“What?”

“I like you too!” Jake said, throwing his arms out towards him for emphasis.

Rich blinked a few times, “What?”

“Rich, I have a crush on you too!” Jake said

Rich sat there, processing for a moment.

“Oh.” He finally came up with.

Before he even realized what he was doing, Rich pretty much leaped on to Jake.

Their mouths collided painfully and they almost tipped backward over in the wheelchair and the burns on Rich’s legs hurt but, fuck, they were kissing.

Rich’s hands scrambling between Jake’s neck, face, and hair, touching everything he could. Jake still had ointment on his hands so he sat there with his arms spread out on either side of him, kissing Rich back.

Jake’s teeth caught Rich’s lips between his teeth and Rich immediately pulled away in pain.

“Careful, dude! My face is burnt!” Rich said, using one hand to shield his sensitive mouth.

Jake’s hands came up and started rubbing the rest of the cream on Rich’s face. Rich’s shoulders relaxed and Jake started kissing him gently.

“Better?” Jake asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah,” Rich said with a sigh.

“Nice,” Jake said, a large smile spreading across his face.

“Soooo…You had a lisp?” Jake said after a moment of silence.

Rich rolled his eyes.

“Yeth!” Rich said, letting his long-forgotten lisp come back.

Jake threw his head back and let out a good-natured laugh.

Rich let himself laugh too.

“Come on, let’s get back to the dance,” Rich said and got off Jake’s lap to push the wheelchair

“Let’s see how fast this baby can go!” Jake said, slapping the side of the wheelchair once they got out into the hallway.

Rich started running and they took off down the hallway, zooming quickly back to the dance. Large smiles plastered on both of their faces.

-

Jeremy watched Jake hobble over to Rich and the two of them walked for together. Michael was left alone on the edge of the dance floor. Jeremy saw him give Rich a thumbs up then scratch his head and look around. Michael had never been good with crowds or being by himself in crowded places.

Jeremy wasn’t sure what he should do though. He and Michael had been fighting so much, does Michael even want to talk to him? The last time they spoke Michael had said he never wanted to see him again.

Michael looked over at him and his chest tightened. Jeremy looked away to fiddle with his hair and smooth down his suit jacket.

When he looked back, Michael was standing right in front of him. Jeremy jumped a little in surprise.

Michael was scratching the back on his head awkwardly and Jeremy fiddled with his fingers.

They both started talking at the same time

“I-” 

“Jer-”

They laughed nervously and Michael gestured for Jeremy to go first.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been such a shitty friend…shitty person. I didn’t even…I didn’t even like Jake. I just wanted to be popular. You’re my best friend and I’m just really, really sorry. And oh my god the party! What was I thinking? I was hanging out with Jake and you could have died! I’m such an idiot.” Jeremy said, not able to meet Michael’s eyes.

“It’s cool, dude,” Michael said and Jeremy chanced a glance up at him. He was smiling so Jeremy let out the breath he was holding.

Michael clicked his tongue, “Come one let’s go sit down, my feet hurt from dancing.”

Jeremy followed Michael over to one of the tables and sat down next to him.

“Won’t Jared miss you?” Jeremy asked, trying not to sound jealous or annoyed or hopeful.

“Jared? I was dancing with Rich,” Michael said confusion coloring his face.

“Yeah, but…you came here with Jared, right?” Jeremy said.

“No dude, Rich’s my date…well was.” Michael said with a laugh.

“But I thought you liked Jared,” Jeremy said.

Michael looked at him with an incredulous look on his face, “What?”

“Don’t you like Jared? You guys are hanging out all the time and stuff and it seems a lot different than when you and I hang out so I just thought...” Jeremy said

Michael started out chuckling at Jeremy but soon started roaring with laughter. People stared at the pair as they passed by. Jeremy blushed, feeling stupid that he had guessed so wrong about Michael’s interest.

“What? It’s not that outrageous!” Jeremy said, defending his beliefs.

Michael howled with laughter and he wiped away tears from his eyes. Michael pointed over to the direction of the dance floor and Jeremy’s gaze followed its direction. He saw Jared dancing up on a girl from the musical theater department. The girl seemed to like it.

“Jared’s straight?!” Jeremy cried.

Michael laughed had died down enough that he could answer, “Jared’s bi, but he likes that girl, Christine.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Jeremy…I actually have to tell you something…like really important.” Michael said

“Okay,” Jeremy said, feeling nervous all over again, not really knowing what Michael needed to say.

Jeremy scooted closer to him as people started to fill in the table, no longer scared off by Michael’s loud laughter.

“So…when you told me that whole rule about dating thing, Jared and I actually came up with this plan to get someone to date Evan so we told Jake to pay Connor to date Evan so Jake could take you out,” Michael said in all one breath

“Oh,” Jeremy said, nodding.

…Wait, what? 

“Wait, what?” Jeremy asked

Michael nervously tugged at his suit cuffs in lieu of his red sweatshirt sleeves.

“Jake paid someone to take Evan out and so we told him to pay Connor cuz he needs money or weed or crack or something and–“

“Why?” Jeremy asked

“Cuz I don’t like Jared, Jeremy…I like you.” Michael said, “Jared was helping me out, that’s why we were hanging out so much, we were trying to figure out this whole stupid plan.”

Oh.

Jeremy felt his face, back, and hands tingle and get sweaty. He could feel like face getting red and itchy from a blush and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

Michael liked him? Mikey M, the coolest guy Jeremy knew, liked him? Best friend from preschool liked him? A loser like him? An asshole like him?

Jeremy swallowed again and reached out a shaky hand, Michael watching him like a hawk the whole time. He slowly set it down on Michael’s own. Michael moved his hand and for half a second, Jeremy was afraid he was going to pull his hand away. But Michael turned his hand over and laced their fingers together.

Jeremy put on a self-conscious smile, cheeks sore from the blush continuing to grow on his face.

“You set up a whole plot, just to date me?” Jeremy asked

“Well, yeah,” Michael said

“And even though I was a complete tool…you still might like me?” Jeremy asked, trying not to sound vulnerable.

“Yeah,” Michael said

Jeremy felt pinpricks go up his arms and neck.

“I like you too.” Came tumbling out of Jeremy’s mouth.

“Really?” Michael said, giving Jeremy a look filled with so much hope and fear.

Jeremy watched tears start to pool in Michael’s eyes and he nodded. Michael let go of Jeremy’s hand and pulled him into a tight hug. Jeremy hugged him back and felt Michael practically vibrating.

“Jeremy, do you want to go out with me?” Michael asked, voice thick.

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, squeezing Michael tighter.

They broke apart after a few more minutes and snuggled together on the bench. One of Michael’s arms was around Jeremy’s shoulders and Jeremy held his other hand in between his own sweaty ones. Michael didn’t seem to care though.

“I can’t believe you did all that just to date my lame ass.” Jeremy laughed and rested his temple on Michael’s cheek.

“I’d do anything to date your lame ass,” Michael said and squeezed Jeremy’s shoulder.

Jeremy hummed and leaned up to place a quick peck right next to Michael’s mouth.

-

Evan and Connor had lost their group, but they didn’t mind. They went back to dancing around like idiots once the music started pumping out pop songs again.

Connor spun Evan around and kept doing little dance moves that reminded Evan of a swing style. How Connor knew any sort of dancing was beyond Evan, but that was the best part about Connor, learning every little part of him.

The song ended and Evan wiped sweat from his brow as Connor ran his hand through his hair.

“Punch?” Evan asked. 

Connor nodded and offered Evan his arm. Evan curled his arms around Connor’s bicep and they made their way over to the punch bowl.

They filled their cups then walked over to a wall that was unoccupied to lean against it as they drank. Evan sipped his drink and watched the other people keep dancing.

“Smokey Point,” Connor said just loud enough that Evan could hear him over the music.

“What?” Evan asked as he turned to look up at him.

“That’s where I was last year. I wasn’t in juvie, I don’t know Marilyn Manson, and I didn’t sleep with someone from Fall Out Boy. I…at the beginning of last year…” Connor’s voice trailed off.

Evan squeezed his arm and pulled him down a more closed off hallway, “You can tell me if you want, but you don’t have to.”

Connor nodded and took a few ragged breaths. Evan saw tears shining in his eyes.

“I tried to kill myself.” Connor’s voice broke a little. Evan felt his stomach drop and his throat tighten.

“I spent the year in a psychiatric and behavioral mental hospital in Smokey Point…also some time in rehab. Prescription pills were my way in and out. You know, when I saw your meds on the bathroom floor that day I thought about just taking them and running but…then I saw you and the panic you were in and I recognized it and I had to give them back to you.”

Evan didn’t know what to say.

“That’s why I’ve been so different this year…I’m sedated now by all kinds of medication, and I go to therapy a lot so my anger issues have calmed down. But…you – you just asked me a few times about where I was and I wanted to tell you.”

“Connor.” Evan croaked and pulled him into an iron grip embrace. Connor relaxed into Evan’s touch and wrapped his arms around Evan’s shoulders.

“I tried too,” Evan spoke into Connor’s chest.

“What?” Connor said and let go of Evan. Evan reluctantly copied him.

He brought his hand up and started pulling at the bottom of his suit jacket. 

“I tried too. That’s why…I had the cast.” Evan said and pulled at his jacket harder. “I thought falling out of the tallest tree in Ellison Park…that tree we sat under…would do it but I only got a broken arm. I remember laying there, waiting for someone to come find me…anyone to find me…but no one ever came.”

Connor’s face was twisted into pain. He grabbed for Evan’s hand and held it. They were both shaking and weepy.

“If I could have…If I hadn’t been gone, if I had known you…If I had been there…I would have found you if I could have.” Connor whispered

Evan let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob and Connor pressed his back up against the wall and seemed to use his body as a shield from anyone who could possibly walk by. Connor reached up a hand and started brushing away tears on Evan’s face, Evan couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean into the gentle touch.

Evan wasn’t surprised at all when Connor’s lips brushed against his own. He reached up and cupped Connor’s face. Evan felt relief flood his body at telling Connor about how he broke his arm but it felt like torture to know what Connor had gone through. 

Being carted off to a hospital and having to be reminded every day of his attempt just by where he was. He probably had to talk about what he was feeling every day and try to find an answer when there was no real answer at all. Suffering through the mood swings and mental pain of the trial and error of medications and wrong dosages. Trying to shove food down his throat when really all he wanted to do was starve himself in his bedroom then keep doing something that was keeping him alive.

Evan knew all those feelings all too well, but at least in the end Connor was here and seemed to be doing fairly well. He couldn’t decide if Connor was the lucky one for getting treatment or Evan was for no one else knowing.

Evan was ripped from his thoughts when Connor’s loving touch suddenly disappeared and didn’t instantly return. His eyes flew open when he heard someone shouting loudly.

Connor was on the sprawled out on the ground and Zoe was standing above him, breathing heavily.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Connor? Money?! For drugs?! AGAIN?!” Zoe roared

“What?” Connor asked, shock melting away and anger blooming on his face.

Evan tried to take a step forward but a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked over and found Alana, sympathy clear on her face.

“Don’t play innocent! I heard Jeremy talking with that Michael kid!” Zoe continued to bark “You were getting paid to take Evan out? By Jake Dillinger? So you could buy weed or pills or something else?! What the fuck?”

Evan froze. No…That couldn’t be right. Connor would never.

Zoe straightened and spun around to face Evan.

“Evan, I’m so sorry. Jake wanted to date your brother so he paid mine to take you out…somehow it was all Michael and Jared’s idea.” Zoe said with a stony face

“You’re wrong,” Evan said, heart beating hard in his chest

Zoe ran her hand through her nicely curled hair, in such a way that echoed exactly how Connor did it.

“I’m not!” She insisted, “Ask anybody! Ask your brother or Michael or Jared or – or ask Jake even!”

Evan knew his face had a look of horror and disbelief on it. He turned to look at Connor, still on the ground. Connor didn’t look up at him.

“Con –Connor?” Evan asked in a hoarse voice.

Connor didn’t reply, eyes glued to the ground, looking guilty.

Evan’s heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest.

Zoe started to speak to him again but everything turned into white noise. His head started spinning and he thought he might throw up.

He didn’t believe this. He couldn’t believe this. Connor wasn’t like that.

Evan knocked Alana’s hand off his shoulder and shoved past Zoe, stumbling over to the dance floor.

He whipped his head around, looking for any of the four people Zoe had mentioned. This was all a joke. Zoe was just angry at Connor, Connor would never do this to him. He’d find one of the boys and bring them over to Zoe and then he’d know she was making it all up.

Evan reeled around and spotted Jared walking towards the bathroom. Evan careened over and almost ran into him.

“Jared!” He cried and grabbed him.

“Woah dude, watch the goods,” Jared said and tried to pry Evan’s hands from his suit jacket

“Jared!” Evan tried again 

“What?” Jared asked

“Did you and Michael make Jake pay Connor to take me out so he could go out with Jeremy?” He said in one, heaving breath.

“Oh…” Jared said and looked away, looking like he had just been caught red-handed.

Evan’s head started spinning more and he felt the panic attack that was looming over him set in.

Jared started to speak, “Well see –” But Evan pushed away from him and saw Michael across the room. He sprinted as fast as his shaking legs could carry him.

“Michael” He gasped when he reached him

Michael turned to face him with a wide smile

“Evan! Dude Jeremy and I are totally together now! It’s that awesome?... What’s wrong?” Michael asked

Evan gasped for breath even though he had only run maybe 30 feet. He was definitely going to throw up.

“Michael! Jake didn’t pay Connor to take me out, right? That’s a lie, right? Please say it’s a lie. Please.” Evan begged in between sobs.

“Oh…Evan, I’m really sorry…” Michael’s expression changed to one of remorse and shame, “It wasn’t to hurt you or anything, I swear…Just to get around your step-dads rule.”

Evan couldn’t believe it. His speeding heart shattered into a million stabbing pieces. He was heaving now, his panic attack taking over.

He had to get out of there now.

His brain screamed at him to find the nearest exit.

Michael shouting at him as he ran.

He tripped and stumbled and barreled into people but he didn’t stop running. Someone else was calling his name.

He somehow made it to the entrance of the school.

“EVAN WAIT!!!” A voice shouted from behind him.

Evan froze just as he reached the doors. He flung himself around and there was Connor, only a few feet away from him.

“Please!” Connor said in between puffs of air, “Let me explain!”

“You were paid to take me out! This was all a set-up, this was just a joke!” Evan cried, barely able to see Connor through his tears.

“NO! No! It wasn’t like that!” Connor said

“What was it like? A down payment now and a bonus for sleeping with me later?”

“No, I don't care about the money, okay? I care about you, please Evan.” Connor said and took a step towards him.

Evan pressed himself up against the door, terrified of him.

“I trusted– I trusted you.” Evan wept, “But you’re no different than the rest of them. I should have known that you were too wonderful and perfect and understanding to be real. No one like you could ever really want someone like me.”

He pulled his arms tight around himself, like that could somehow protect him now, after all that had happened.

“Evan, please, it’s not like that.” Connor pleaded

“I let you see me…I told you everything!” Evan angrily wiped at the snot and tears dripping down his face, “I told myself I couldn’t let anyone see the mess that I am because they’d hate it...no one could ever really want me if they saw it! I’ve never – ever let anyone see me before...but I thought you were different!”

“Evan,” Connor begged.

Evan was sobbing so hard his sides hurt and he was gasping for breath.

“But you’re not!” Evan lamented through tears “You’re so much worse than all of them! At least- at least they didn’t pretend to be my friend to get close to me then get me to fall in love with them! It was only ever about money for you! I’m so stupid!”

Evan ripped the boutonniere off his chest and threw it at Connor as hard as he could. It barely went two feet before hitting the ground.

“I hope you and Jake and Michael and Jared and my brother all have a good laugh because I never want to see you ever again!” Evan screamed and finally ran out the door, escaping into the night.

[shawnsorangeglasses]

The Opposition - Part 3.1

3.1k words

Shawn is a tightly wound, Type A law student in college. For the most part, he has his life figured out and planned to the minute. Then comes Caroline, a charming Type B and his unlikely equal.

thank you all for being so patient. ...

It's Wednesday. Shawn fears the closer he gets to Friday, the less motivated he is to crash the frat party. This morning, Caroline sent him a text riddled with lowercase letters and several typos to discuss the plan. He's meeting her in front of the library a few hours after his first class. On Mondays and Wednesdays, it's ethics and his third criminal law course in the afternoon. Tuesdays and Thursdays is legal writing and criminal behavior. He loves the work, but it’s nice to do something else, even if it is scheming.

He walks by a group of senior women on the way. They smile and wave flirtatiously, but he keeps his eyes low and walks faster. They laugh.

Caroline is waiting for Shawn on the back of the library's lion statue, conducting her hands to music only she can hear through her earbuds. Of course that's where she is, Shawn thinks to himself. Her sweater, the one from last night, is tied around her waist. She doesn't notice him at first because the song is up at full volume. Bright yellow socks are the only vibrant color she's chosen to wear today in an otherwise plain ensemble.

"You're not supposed to sit on those," he tells her.

Her head snaps around, "Oh, it's just you. Where's Harry?"

"Theater club until 6 PM."

Caroline grunts and groans, rolling rather ungracefully off the metal beast. "How the hell am I supposed to sit through this without him?"

"I'm sure you'll manage." Shawn leads towards the double doors, but a tiny hand latches onto his elbow, stopping him short.

"Can't you just tell me right here in the sun? It's freezing inside."

Shawn taps his heel on the pavement impatiently. "I suppose we can go to the old greenhouse out back."

Caroline cocks an eyebrow. "Oh, he's taking me out back. How scandalous."

"Relax, it's not in use anymore and half the windows are smashed. It's the furthest thing from romantic.

"She circles him, "Uh huh, sure it is."

"It is."

Shawn takes her down a path that’s gone undisturbed for a long time. The greenhouse is obscured by a wall of untamed trees and shrubbery. The only entrance is a gate overrun by vines and ivies. Shawn unlatches the lock and its rusty chain falls limp with a clang.

"After you," he says, permitting Caroline to enter first.

"Are we allowed back here, Mr. Rulebook?"

"This is the only rule you'll ever find me breaking."

Caroline gazes up at the quaint structure in all its decay and ruin. Branches extend in and out of broken windows. She can just make out a misty rainbow in the fog at the very top of the roof. Ironically, it’s probably the prettiest part of the campus she’s seen so far.

"How'd you find this place?"

"Ms. Attie brought me here my first semester. It used to be kind of panic room for me, but I haven't needed it lately."

She takes two steps forward. "Is it safe?"

"There's broken glass and exposed wires everywhere, but you're smart enough. I think you'll live."

“Aw, you think I’m smart?”

He has to smile at his slip up. “I think you’re adept. Don’t get a big head.”

Shawn pats her shoulder and moves ahead. Caroline jogs after him, trying to keep up with his long strides in the tall grass.Inside are only vague reminders of what the greenhouse may have looked like before the wilderness reclaimed it. All kinds of weeds have pushed through the ground floor. Unchecked foliage has made the once spacious house small and humid inside. Caroline picks up one of the few plants that are still in a solid pot, then sets it back in its dust ring.Shawn stops at the iron staircase leading to a platform above.

"This way. Attie said the steps are too corroded to be safe, so we have to use the ladder."

The ladder leans against the second floor ledge with cinder blocks at its feet to keep it in place. It goes straight up into a sunnier ledge, closest to the ceiling. It's the only part of the greenhouse with all the windows still intact. Caroline again goes ahead of him, but loses her footing on a loose rung. Shawn's quick to catch her, grabbing onto her hip. He doesn't let go until she's regained her balance, and even so his fingertips linger on her midriff.

"Any other surprises," she huffs.

"I don't know, maybe? It's been a while."

She smirks down at him, then continues to climb. Each step, she tests the rungs with a few taps before proceeding. Shawn is trying to keep from looking, but she's right there above his head, in shorts. He concentrates on his own steps.

Caroline's feet patter around the platform. "Hmm, I don't know Mendes. This looks pretty romantic to me."He's about to protest again until he makes the top of the ladder. A picnic is set up on one of the metal tables, but clearly abandoned. Shawn sighs.

"Harry must have been here recently with some guy or girl, most likely showing off." He can feel Caroline's eyes on him. "Which is not why we're here, for the last time."

"Alright. Did he leave any non-perishables?"

Shawn sifts through the picnic basket's contents. Every single bag is torn to shreds. "No, looks like the raccoons came through— oh wait, there's a jar of raw honey."

"I call dibs."

"You can have it," Shawn chuckles. "Harrison keeps our kitchen stocked with the stuff."

She takes the jar, holding it up to the sun. "Why did we come here, again?"

"Going over the plan."

"Oh yeah."

Caroline hops up onto a shelf in between two flower bushes, securing her jar of honey at the bottom of her bag. Sun spills shafts of light on her hair, making them a rich brown around the edges.

"The party's on Friday and I know I'm your plus one. We definitely shouldn't stay too long though. What's our out going to be?"

"I could get 'sick' or 'too drunk' and you have to take me home."

"That could work. I say we try to avoid attention altogether though. Kate knows I don't do parties and I won't know how to explain myself."

Caroline pokes a fern and its leaves retract. "Just say you're doing research on college party scenes and how they affect academic accomplishment or something."

"That's...actually a good idea."

She flips her hair and shrugs. "I know."

"Okay, don't get cocky." Shawn nibbles on his thumb. "I guess we're ready?"Caroline tilts her head at him. "You don't sound ready."

"I am very nervous, yes."

"Well don't worry. Just think of it as extreme eavesdropping."

"There's still so many margins of error," he mutters to himself. "Argh, this is why I hate parties. I have no way of actually preparing for this. What if something stupid happens? What if the cops show up? Cops always show up in the movies. Listen to me, comparing real life to the movies-”

"Hey," she slides down from the shelf and puts two hands on his shoulders. Her inky brown eyes penetrate his own. "Don’t spiral. That's why I'm coming with you. We can always improvise. It's gonna be fine. In the name of love, right?"

Shawn takes a deep, shaky breath. She'd been saying this to him since Monday. In the name of love. But Shawn isn't even positive he loves Kate, whatever that means. She just makes him tingly all over. All girls make him a little nervous once they show an interest in him. It isn't even all about love at this point. He just wants everything to go back to normal.

"Right," he says anyway. "In the name of love."

"Okay then," she gives him shake and lets go. "How much time do you have?"

Shawn checks his watch. "About two hours."

"Wanna go eat?" …

The dining hall is flowing with students coming and going. All the major groups have found their respective tables for the hour. Caroline seems to know at least a few people in every clan they pass by on the way to the kitchen, and every person is happy to see her or has some inside joke to share.

"Uh Caroline," Shawn taps her shoulder, "What exactly is your major?"

"I don’t know yet. I really like everything. Why?""

You just seem to know...well, everyone."

"Oh, I had psychology last year. Between surveys and case studies, you kind of meet people. And I made mine so they could be interesting and fun, so they’d come back."

Shawn gazes at a few of the people they passed. Music majors, science majors, even the business majors knew Caroline. A few are looking in his direction. Most people know Shawn from the mock trials because they get published in the school newspaper. His serious reputation has preceded him for quite some time. So naturally, they'd be curious as to why he's suddenly at breakfast with Caroline.

"Everybody's staring," he tells her in a hushed voice.

"Well yeah, it's me standing next to you," she said much louder, already having read the room.

Shawn has noticed the physical contrast of him Caroline before. His lean and broad figure just barely towering over her stocky, compact build is something to behold. They couldn't be more different.

"They might also be staring because of your face," she says as she makes a beeline for the pasta trays.

"What's wrong with my face?"

"Literally nothing. That's why they're staring, genius."

Shawn squints at her. "You have very interesting way of paying me compliments."

She gives him a tender pat on the shoulder. "What are friends for?"

He has to admit to himself, she is entertaining without trying. The honesty that comes with Caroline's words is refreshing. The few girls he's come across in the past hardly ever say what they mean or feel. Kate was one of them.

"Let's sit over there," Caroline nods at a small corner table well lit by a wall of windows. Empty booths are scarce in the cafe. A few feet away from that spot is Jared Price with a handful of law majors. Shawn grabs Caroline’s arm and pulls her behind a wall next to the vending machines. Without meaning to, he’s pinned her into a corner.

“What the hell’s your problem,” she snaps. “I almost dropped my pasta.”

“Shush,” he hisses.

It’s only been a few times that a guy has had Caroline on the wall in this fashion. Shawn’s approach is, of course, in no way romantic and definitely clumsy to say the least. Though she knows it’s probably not intentional, she can’t help but feel the tiniest impulse to misbehave right now.

Shawn’s still tensed up and peering around the corner. She takes a peek. There’s plenty of people to look at and her heart was kind of hoping to see Kate floating in between some of the tables. No one seems to fit the description Shawn’s given her in recent conversations. In fact, his panicked eyes are completed transfixed on a table surrounded by what look like carbon copies of him.

“Must be a law thing to dress like the dean,” she says. “Don’t you want to talk to your kin?”

“Not necessarily,” Shawn says with a shake of his head.

"Well, do you mind," she says looking him up and down. "I'm kind of stuck between a vending machine and a... well, a hard place."

A harsh blush seeps into Shawn's face and neck as he realizes the position he's put them in. Caroline holds her takeout box of food close to her chest in one hand and pushing back on his abs with the other. A wry, all-knowing smile pushes her dimple deeper into her cheek. Shawn bolts backwards.

"S-Sorry, I wasn't trying to-,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, hoping his thoughts would gather up easier that way. “I'm not- I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry."

"No worries Mendes," Caroline pats his chest. "If I have to pinned against a wall by anyone, I'm fine with it being you."

Shawn shields his face with his hand, which is already starting to get clammy and prickly. "Why do you have to make everything so weird?"

"It’s only weird in your head, Shawn. Come on.” She nods in the direction of the other exit, away from the law school table and the rest of the cafe. “We can go eat on the lawn.”

She trots over to the double doors. Her thick messy curls bounce on her shoulders in a manner that's almost teasing. With one backwards shove, she pushes the door open, making room for Shawn to follow after her. He unbuttons his collar, then trudges through the uncomfortable air he’s made for himself. It amazes him how nothing else in the room changes after an encounter so awkward.

The outdoors presents a hot and dry midday heat. As nice as it would be to sit in the air conditioning and eat, Shawn would rather sweat than be stuck arguing about the ethics of this assigned case with Jared Fucking Price.

“Right over here,” Caroline says.

She’s pointing towards one of the few crepe myrtles on campus in the middle of a green lawn. The tree is still young, so it’s shade is small and requires them to sit close if they want to cool off. She’s already made herself at home on the petals scattered at its roots. In any other setting, this whole picture would seem staged, but Caroline looks like she belongs there more than anyone. Shawn takes this brief moment waiting for her to sit down to observe again. Another nuisance of a sensation settles in his gut. He dismisses it as a hunger pain.

He crouches down at her side stiffly. Even in such limited space, he maintains the usual respectful distance. The shaded parts of the grass are soft and cool beneath his palms. Shawn expected to just eat in silence since that’s usually what happens when he’s out with someone other than Harrison. Every time he’s met with Caroline in the past few days, she’s allowed the silence to happen. Now, she’s practically itching to talk.

“So,” she sighs, “are we gonna talk about what that was?”

“I already said I was sorry. Please drop it.”

“Not that,” she sighs. “You totally ghosted your friends the law majors’ table. Why?”

It almost slips out, how much he hates Jared and his elitist herd of followers. Caroline has this way of talking that makes you forget you have secrets. It’s for this reason that he bites his lower lip and chooses his next words carefully. The law department is already a tough enough crowd without them knowing he doesn’t enjoy their miserable company.

“I didn’t ghost anybody worth calling a friend.”

“Oh,” she says, light and flippant in her tone.

“Oh what?”

“It’s just a little cold,” her eyes skirt around his face. “Even for you.”

“You don’t know them, Caroline.”

She throws her hands up. “Hey, I get it. That law department is quite the dickhead factory.”

He shakes his head, well aware that she was throwing him into that lot. “Touchè,” he mutters.

“You always this distant with peers?”

“Do we have to talk about it?”

“No. We don’t have to talk about it,” she eventually says, and she almost sounds sad when she does. “But Shawn, we’ve had these meetings for a few days now. I get that you don’t talk much, but it’s kind of weird not knowing you at all by now.”

"Funny. I believe I've said more about myself in the last four hours than I've told anyone in the last year."

It’s one of those jokes that Shawn thinks is funny at first until no one laughs. It’s even worse in a conversation with only one other person.

“How generous of you,” she deadpans. For the first time since they’ve met, she sounds genuinely irritated with him.

He looks around the environment as if he’ll find something to talk about there. Nothing appears of course and Caroline is still quietly pulling weeds from the grass. Quiet was the intention, but not if it meant her shutting down. He leans back on his hands in the mulch and dirt to stretch his legs out into the sun.

“I wanted to be a musician, you know.”

Caroline’s ears perk up. “That’s...random.”

“Guitar and piano was as far as I got. Long time ago.”

“Were you any good?”

“I was told I was good. I always thought I could’ve been better.”

She snorts, “Yeah sounds about right.”

“Obviously, I changed my mind. Got into debate and ethics in high school.”

“Is that what changed?”

He nods. “So many times the system gets it wrong and sends innocent people to prison. It’s insane, I mean, the amount of laws we have overlapping and changing everyday would surprise you. No scenario is ever so thought out. Not to mention ethics aren’t always in black and white. I could talk for hours about the-”

Shawn grinds to a halt when he finally notices the smile slowly breaking his face. Caroline’s given him her full attention. Somehow, he’s leaned in closer to her, like he does every time he goes on a tangent.

I’m getting carried away,” he sighs.

“No, it’s wonderful,” Caroline cooed. “I’ve never seen you so happy.”

He cocks his head to one side. “Nobody likes a rambler.”

“Guess that makes me the biggest nobody of all.”

She shoulders his arm, rocking him slightly. Shawn’s ears start to burn. He looks down. Caroline’s sweater sleeve has ended up in the mulch somehow. He carefully picks it up, pulling the wood chips gently from the threads before setting neatly onto her thigh. She doesn’t say a word while this is all happening. In fact, she watches his movements intently. He’s going to ask and she wants to be ready.

“I have a question,” he says. “The other night, when you came back to my room for your sweater, why were you— well I thought you were, I don’t know. Maybe I was seeing things-”

“Bawling my eyes out?”

A faint grimace flashes across Shawn’s face.

“I’m not touchy about it,” she assures him. “Short answer is that it belonged to my mom. Then Dad gave it to me when I graduated high school.”

Shawn steals a look at her and she’s smiling softly. “Can I have the long answer?”

Caroline leans back. “It’s a real sob story,” she says loftily. “I’d hate for you start feeling sorry for me.”

“Please, ‘sorry’ is the last thing I’ll ever feel for you, Caroline,” Shawn quips

“Shawn,” says a familiar voice. “Shawn Mendes?”

Shawn looks up and to his disappointment finds Jared Price standing over them casting a condescending shadow at their feet. The other law majors aren’t far behind, coming closer to their spot under the tree. ...

taglist:

@tnhmblive @rulerofnocountry @matchamendes @damselindistressanu @gxccicoffee @yoelleex @5-seconds-of-mendes @darling-shawn @imaginesofdreams @nervousaroundmendes @hiyabich @sinplisticshawn @peterbrokenparker @sauveteen @allaboutthatdrummer @particularnarry @shawnwyr @1am9root

[deanwanddamons]

The Best Weekend Of Your Life - Chapter 5

Summary: You are obsessed with Supernatural and go to a convention with your best friend. You are 100% a Dean girl while your friend is a Sam girl. Both Jensen and Jared are single in this. You both catch the guys attention and things go from there. At the end of Chapter 4, Y/N has had sex with Jensen, and you have decided to try a long distance relationship. 

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Jared x readers best friend

Word Count: 2378

Warning: Romance, fluff, smut, sexual language and shower sex, a lot of smut. 

Beta: @winchest09​ and @queen-of-deans-booty Song for chapter : https://youtu.be/IKnz3kAwRu8 - Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette 

Read Chapter Four here!

The Best Weekend Of Your Life Masterlist

Pulling back the covers, Jensen slips out of bed naked. He stretches, and you are mesmerised by the way his lean body moves. You stare at his muscular back, that beautiful pert ass and those sexy bowed legs. 

You have loved this man from afar for years, and have watched every episode of Supernatural over and over until you could quote from it. You have a T-shirt, a mug (although you would never admit that to him), his picture is the screensaver on your phone and your music playlist mainly consists of rock, especially songs used in the show.

Now you are lying in bed, looking at him stood in front you naked, having just had the most incredible night of sex with him and you would have been content with that, but you have a feeling that this could become so much more. Struggling to accept this amazing man wants to continue your relationship, you pinch yourself to ensure you aren’t dreaming.

‘Ouch!’ You exclaim, causing Jensen to spin around. 

‘You ok baby?’ he asks, a look of concern on his face.

‘Yeah, just pinching myself to make sure I’m not dreaming,’ you answer, with a smile. 

‘No baby, you’re not dreaming,’ he says leaning down to kiss you. ‘I’m going to shower.’ As he walks away, he stops to look over his shoulder, ‘you joining me?’ he asks with a cheeky grin and a sexy wiggle of the eyebrows, in a way only he can. 

Even after all the orgasms you have already had, the way he looks standing there, grinning at you, sends shivers all over your body, and heat rush to your core. Pulling back the covers you get out of bed, but wrap the sheet around you, suddenly feeling embarrassed by your nakedness. Seeing Jensen standing there looking like a Greek God brings all of your vulnerabilities to the surface. How can someone like him be interested in someone like you? 

‘Don’t cover up that incredible body,’ Jensen protests as he walks towards you. He takes the edge of the sheet in his hand and goes to pull it away but you pull it closer. ‘Hey, what’s up?’ he asks, concern in his eyes. 

‘Look at you,’ you whisper as your eyes roam down his body. ‘No wonder you’re so confident being naked.’ You can feel your cheeks start to redden. ‘Me on the other hand….’ You shrug, leaving the sentence unfinished. 

‘Sweetheart, you are so beautiful, don’t ever put yourself down,’ he reassures you in a low voice as he gently takes the sheet from you and drops it to the ground. Wrapping his arms around you he pulls you towards him, kissing you softly, ‘now get that smoking, hot ass in the shower,’ he whispers as his lips find your ear before he slaps your thigh, smirking. 

Smiling, you follow a few steps behind him as he leaves the room. You hear him turn on the shower as you walk into the bathroom. Jensen is already in the cubicle. He opens the door and with a crooked finger and a cheeky smile, he beckons you in. 

Moving aside, he takes your arm as you step in to join him. The water is the perfect temperature as it flows over your sore body, so you lean your head back to allow it to run over your hair and face. You feel Jensen’s hands snake around your waist as he pulls you towards him, your back against his chest. Looking down you see he has a bottle of shampoo in his hand. After dispensing a small amount into his palm, he drops the bottle. Reaching up he starts to massage the shampoo into your hair. 

The intimacy of this action makes your breath catch in your throat. Apart from at the salon, no one has ever washed your hair for you before. You lean into him, savouring the feeling of his calloused fingers kneading into your scalp, the lather running over your shoulders. 

You close your eyes and a contented sigh leaves your lips. 

‘Is that nice baby?’ Jensen murmurs.

‘Amazing,’ you breath, your voice barely above a whisper.

He continues washing your hair, ensuring all the suds have been washed away. Placing his hands on your shoulders, he turns you to face him, and kisses you hard, pushing you back against the tiles. Leaning back, his green eyes slowly survey your body. 

`Oh honey, I hurt you,’ he whispers, fingers tracing the purple bruise that has started to come up on your hip. 

‘No it’s okay, it’s not painful,’ you say, wincing slightly from the pressure of his fingers. 

His hand moves to your shoulder. ‘And I have left a hell of a mark here where I bit you.’ You stretch your neck as he places his lips on the mark, kissing it softly. 

‘A hickey from Dean Winchester is a hallmark,’ you chuckle, quoting from Grease, changing the name from Kinicky.  He laughs, his lips still on your neck, the vibration causing goosebumps to rise all over you. 

Wrapping his arm around your thigh, he hooks your leg around his waist. Gripping his ass cheeks, you pull his hips towards you. Attempting to balance on one leg, you stumble, but he grips you harder and in a fluid movement lifts you off the ground. With both legs around him, you clench your fist in his hair and pull his head back. 

Water cascades over both of you as Jensen grinds his pelvis against your heat. It’s not just the water that is making you wet. The walls of your pussy start to involuntary contract. You need him inside you again. 

He places you down and spins you around as he pushes your chest against the tiles. His lips find the back of your neck, and he licks along the line of your shoulder. Pushing your ass against him, you hear him moan as strong hands grip your hips, and you feel his hard cock between your thighs. 

He slides into your aching pussy easily, the water acting as extra lubricant. You bend over even more, needing to feel him completely inside you. He releases his hold on your hips, and puts his palms against the wall. Using it as leverage, he slams into you. You’re still sore from the previous session, but the pain you feel is nothing compared to the pleasure flowing through your core. 

His movements are fast, breathing ragged. ‘Fuck me Y/N, I’m not gonna last,’ he murmurs thickly. 

‘It’s ok baby. Fuck me harder,’ you purr. His thrusts get harder and faster. His hands grasp your hips firmly, the pain from the bruise already there making you gasp. He slams into you, the low, guttural, animalistic sounds coming from him making your pussy clench tightly around his cock, and with one final buck of his hips, he sags against you. 

Groaning, his now soft cock still inside you, he lightly kisses your shoulders. Slowly pulling out of you, he turns you around to face him. 

‘Shit, I’m so sorry,’ he groans ‘I didn’t mean to be so quick.’ With a shy smile, he takes your face in his hands, ‘you’re just so damn sexy, but I’m not leaving this shower until you cum.’ 

Bending to pick up the shower gel, he squeezes a drop between his palms and runs his hands down your back. His touch is so light and gentle. His lips graze yours, moving across your cheek, eventually finding the crook of your neck, resting his head there. 

Wrapping one arm around your waist, his other hand traces the line of your hip bone and slides down your stomach, searching for your slit. You open your legs slightly to give him access, going up onto tiptoes. Finding your aching clit, he lazily circles it with his fingers, tongue licking the drops of water off your shoulder. 

You grip his hair as you feel the now familiar waves of pleasure flow through your stomach. He increases the pressure on your clit, his fingers pressing harder, building a perfect rhythm.

‘God Jensen,’ you hiss as your knees weaken. 

‘Cum for me Y/N,’ he demands quietly in your ear. The sound of his voice and his breath on your neck pushes you over the edge. 

‘Yes, fuck, yes,’ you whimper as you slide down the tiles your orgasm forcing the strength out of your legs. His strong arm grips you tightly, stopping you from falling. You go limp in his arms, as you try to catch your breath. ‘You’re going to kill me at this rate’ you mumble. 

‘Shower sex is complicated,’ he says with wink. 

‘Oh hello Dean!’ you respond, playfully punching him. Laughing you open the cubicle door and push him out. ‘Now, leave me be Ackles. I need to wash the smell of sex off me’ 

Wrapping a towel around himself, he leans back in through the door. After briefly kissing you, he leaves the room. You finish washing your hair, clean your teeth, and go back into the bedroom. Jensen is already dressed, sitting on the bed. 

‘Jared just text. Him and F/N have just left his hotel. I said we will see them in the pub across the road for breakfast in 30 minutes.’ Going to your case you put on some clean underwear. You retrieve your comb, make-up and hair dryer. He points at the floor between his feet. ‘Sit,’ he demands smiling up at you, green eyes glinting in the light. 

Doing as he asks you sit on the floor. He takes the comb from you, and pulls it delicately through your hair, making sure he works out every knot. Once again you are amazed how intimate your relationship is becoming. Jensen is treating you like a goddess, and you know you are falling for him. Hard. Naturally, you have concerns that when he goes home, he will be too busy to contact you, and all this will be an incredible memory, but pushing all negative thoughts to the back of your mind, you relax and enjoy this moment. 

Kissing the top of your head he hands you the comb. ‘All done’. 

‘Thank you baby,’ you say as you get up and go to your case. Pulling out your clothes, you get dressed, and blow dry your hair. Jensen lies on the bed, TV remote in hand, flicking through the channels. You glance over at him, noticing how relaxed and contented he looks. He eyes meet yours and his succulent lips break into a wide grin. He is so beautiful your heart melts.

You are suddenly reminded of who he is, and the realisation makes time stop for a moment. Your heart swells and it’s beating increases at the sheer enormity of the situation and what your future could hold. If someone had told you yesterday that this was going to happen, you would have laughed in their face. You have never felt like this about anyone before, the feelings completely brand new, and slightly overwhelming. 

Forcing yourself back to reality, you go to the mirror. Checking your reflection, you notice your lips are red and swollen. Pulling back the neck of your T-shirt you trace the red and purple bruise on your shoulder. You look like someone who has been well and truly fucked within an inch of their life. You smile to yourself. 

Putting on light makeup, and spraying some perfume, you pick up your phone and bag, and you turn to him. 

‘Ready?’ you ask. 

‘Yep.’ He nods. Switching off the TV he gets off the bed, and picking up his over-shirt you both leave the room.

‘Aren’t you worried someone will see us together?’ you ask as he takes your hand, both of you walking down the corridor of the hotel towards the lifts. 

‘Baby, I don’t care,’ he says, wrapping an arm around your waist. ‘Let them see, they will know soon enough anyway.’

The lift is empty when it gets to your floor, so you get in. 

‘Now,’ Jensen starts as the doors close, ‘this is something I have always wanted to do’. He quickly pushes you against the wall of the lift and hungrily kisses you hard. You automatically respond, but pulling away you start to laugh. 

‘We are only on the second floor,’ you snigger. ‘You were quick earlier,’ you tease, ‘but I don’t think you could be that quick.’

‘Cheeky,’ he gasps, tickling you as the doors open. Luckily the foyer seems empty so you manage to get to the front doors without anyone seeing you. Well, not that you noticed anyway. 

Walking over the road to the pub, you walk in and see F/N and Jared in a booth near the back. F/N jumps up and runs towards you as Jensen walks over to Jared. 

‘Hey sweetie!’ she yells throwing herself into your arms in a tight embrace. ‘How you doing?’ 

‘I’m tired, sore, hungry and completely in love,’ you tell her laughing. 

‘Ditto’ she responds, comically rolling her eyes. ‘So, was your night as epic as mine?’ You pull aside the neck of your T-shirt showing her the mark on your shoulder. Clapping her hands she squeals. ‘I’ll take that as a yes then!’ 

‘Sssh,’ you warn her, looking around. 

‘Oh Y/N! I can’t believe how happy I am right now,’ she whispers. 

‘Me too.’ You smile at her, ‘happier than I ever thought I could be and that’s before my morning coffee, which I’m in dire need of’ you say taking her arm and leading her over to the table, where the boys are waiting.

CHAPTER SIX 

Tags - @sherlock44​ @for-a-brothers-love​ @ilovetoread44​ @supraveng​ @jawritter​ @sandlee44​ @prettydeaneyes​ @moonlessnight126​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @maddiepants​ @in-deans-arms​ @mummybear​

[preface2adreamplay]

Under Your Spell (Part 10) - Ashes On My Shoes

Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.

Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

Chapter warnings: Flirting, swearing. 

Chapter WC: 2,458

The night of the Texas show was here. Stef was always nervous for every gig, why wouldn’t she be? There were a hundred and one ways that things could go sideways. Most of them had already happened during her career. But Jared would be at this show. He had text her to say he was incoming, ’With the boys.’ She assumed Jensen would be joining him. 

The bus was parked up next to the venue, the first of bands that were playing with them had started their set. Stef was already dressed for the stage, usually she kept it simple enough but tonight she made a special effort to be a little more flamboyant. Claire had helped her put together this flowing ensemble. A dress with a plunging neckline that just about reached to her navel, long sleeves and a train of black and silver material that followed her around as she walked. It was a flirty, Morticia Addams inspired dress with a slit up the front that came up to her knees. When she moved it dragged behind her, showing off her long legs. 

The legs that Jared had kissed and ran his fingers up and down teasingly the last time they were together. He said he loved her legs. She loved them when they were wrapped around his waist.

‘Focus, Stef.’ she scolded herself in the hand held mirror she used to put on her make up. 

Just then her tour manager pulled open the door, shouting ‘you decent?’

‘Yeah, come on in,’ Stef had one more coat of mascara to do and she was done.

‘Wow, you look great. You going on a date afterwards?’ Jeff was cool, he was a friend from years back, from the beginning. Always a good guy to have with you on tour. You needed a snack at 3am, he got it. You needed a replacement guitar string before you ran on stage, he had it ready. 

‘Maybe.’

Jeff carried on with his checklist, talking to himself more than to her.

‘Your stuff is on stage, the band are hanging in the waiting room. You staying on the bus?’ 

‘Nah, I’m going to go in now.’

‘Just so you know there are some fans at the gate, waiting for you.’

There were always a few people hanging around the venue before her shows. The first time she got off a bus with people shouting her name was definitely one of the highlights of the business for her. They were the reason why she still did shows. Her fans were always hungry for more music.

Recognising a few of the faces in the crowd, Stef hung with them for a few minutes.

They were complimentary about her ‘new style,’ asking if it was for the new album.

She agreed, butterflies nesting in her stomach again at the thought that she had made this effort just for Jared. What had become of her?

Smiling and doing her best poses with the fans, she waved them goodbye. Promising to give them a shoutout from the stage.

The venue was packed. Though she put that down to the most excellent support acts that were with her. Slipping into the backstage area through the rear entrance, she noticed her band mates were rowdy. 

‘What is it about the Texas crowds that get you guys so wound up?’ She laughed, watching the empty mini bottles of Jager tumble down from their ludicrous game of dominoes. 

‘What is it about Texas that’s got you looking like that?’ Evan queried, the boys wolf whistled. 

‘Settle down.’ She scolded. Forever the mother. These guys had been around nearly as long as Jeff. She found them all adorable and annoying, referring to them as her ‘hairy ass babies.’

Curing her nerves with two glasses of whiskey, she saw the second support act coming backstage, sweaty and loud. 

They’d be up next. 

Jeff appeared again, ‘Hey Stef, c’mere.’ 

‘Your friends just arrived,’ he said in a hushed tone, nodding his head towards Jared and Jensen. Misha stepped out from behind the two taller men and waved energetically. ‘Hey!’ he called across the corridor at her.

Stef ushered them into the room. Giving Jensen and Jared a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. Jared was smiling from ear to ear, but said nothing.

‘Hey hot momma,’ Jensen tried to keep a straight face, glancing at Jared. ‘Can’t wait for the show. We brought this idiot, he loves your music too.’

‘I’m a new fan.’ Misha pulled her into a tight hug. ‘Not as big a fan as Jared, but I still love your stuff.’ 

Misha seemed to be a guy you could instantly like. Stef patted him on the back, letting him know that the hug was done. 

’Sorry, I’m excited to meet you. Jared talks about you non stop.’

‘Do I?’ Jared was looking at Stef, taking her in, his eyes pausing on all the right places of the dress. 

‘You do, actually.’ Jensen clapped his friend on the back. ‘Come on, let’s get ready for this show then.’ He gave Misha a playful push out the door and threw Jared a look that said ‘hurry up.’

When they had disappeared, Jeff pointing the way up to the box Stef had booked for them, Jared was still standing over her. ‘You look beautiful.’

She could feel herself getting a little bashful. ‘Thank you,’ she replied, deciding it was best to just say it rather than pass it off as ‘this old thing?’

‘Good luck, I can’t wait to see you play.’ He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. That surprised her, she didn’t think he wanted to advertise that they were somewhat ‘together.’ 

‘I can’t wait to play for you.’ Stef smiled, giving his chin a little tug. 

‘You got about five minutes,’ Jeff came back and took Jared by the arm, leading him out of the door. 

With the lights glaring into her face, she could never see the crowd. That often helped with her nerves. Being up there made her feel so vulnerable, that was why she loved doing it so much. It was like therapy, pouring her heart out into the songs and letting them take over. The crowd were waiting impatiently when the lights went down. It was her cue to walk on stage. The guys were at their instruments, playing the intro to the new single. Stef reached the mic as the beat kicked in, her words flowing easily. Everything sounded right. In the moment, she forgot everyone around her. Forgot about Jared sitting forward in his seat taking in the show, watching her move with the music, doubled over when the high notes required it. 

There was little time to chat between songs, Stef preferred it that way. It was easier to just get on with it. 

She hated the ‘hey there..*insert city* you’re the best.’

Halfway through the set, she thanked the crowd for coming out, introduced the band and pulled out her acoustic guitar. 

‘This isn’t usual for me, I like to kick it full steam ahead for you guys. But, someone recently sang this song to me and it revived some old feelings. Despair and lost love. Sounds good, right?’ The crowd whooped and cheered.

‘Ok, cool.’ Stef started right into the song, keeping the pace that Jared had set when he sang it to her on the floor of Jensen’s cabin the night they first made love. 

Burning soft skin of two

Trying hard to let go of you

Hoping it will do

Pulled right out from underneath you

She heard the crowd singing it along with her, her breath caught in her throat when she finished the song, pushing her guitar aside and holding up her hands in thanks to the fans. 

‘You know what, I don’t usually say this, but y’all ARE the fuckin’ best.’ 

Backstage, everyone was in high spirits. The whiskey was flowing and Stef was so buzzed. Misha was taking pictures of the band, wanting her to strike some ridiculous poses with Jensen and Jared.

Several of the shots made it on to instagram. Jared and ‘the boys,’ each posted a picture with Stef, exclaiming about how great the show had been and how excited they were to be invited backstage.

Stef even posted one with Misha, Jensen and Jared holding her up as she lay across them. There were so many comments on it, she just didn’t have the energy to read them.

Back on the bus, the guys were continuing their little party in the ‘living area’ behind the driver. Jared had come back with Stef to have a chat before they had to go.

Checking that no one was watching, Stef pulled him halfway into her tiny bunk, there was no way the both of them would fit in there but they managed to squeeze in, legs dangling out from behind the curtain. Giggling like teenagers, they made out for a while. Jared punctuating each kiss with how much he enjoyed the show. Eventually, after several phone calls from an increasingly pissed Jensen, Jared took his leave. Kissing her wrist to her shoulder and then giving her several kisses that made her head spin, he left. 

‘Stefanie’s got a boyfriend!’ One of the guys stuck his head out through the sliding door of the living area, he was so drunk he could barely stand. 

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Stef threw a pair of his balled up socks at him. ‘And clean up after your-damn-selves.’ 

The next day they were playing a much smaller venue, but the crowds were still coming out, thankfully.

Stef had taken a moment to look at her tagged posts on social media. There were a few great shots taken the night before, she was incredibly grateful her tits didn’t pop out of her dress. 

‘Wow, you know J2?’ ‘OMG Jensen’ ‘OMG Jared’. Was how most of the comments were going. Several were suggesting she was fucking one of them, or all three.

‘She sucks, her music sucks and she’s ugly.’ Charming. Stef often deleted the nasty ones, coz who wants to see them, right? 

There were more followers on all platforms, that was nice. More people to hear the music, she supposed.

Her heart skipped a beat on seeing a post on insta from Jared. It was a picture of them striking a ridiculous pose, his arm around her waist. They were doing their best blue steel. The second was a shot of him, Jensen and Misha heads together at the show and the third was Stef on stage, she couldn’t recall what part of the night it was. 

‘If anyone gets a chance to see this girl live, go see her. You rocked us last night, Stef. So proud of you.’ Several love hearts.

Misha commented, ‘get your hands off my girl, Jared.’

Jared: ‘And how long do you know her that you think you can lay claim?’

Jensen posted several laughing emojis, ‘as MJ said boys, ‘the girl is mine.’

Stef liked each of the comments. Adding her own ‘I’d take all three of you, no problem.’ To which Jared added a sad face and a broken heart. 

Her phone began vibrating, the long stream of comments disappearing. Oscar’s name was flashing on screen.

‘Hello, Oscar.’ Her voice was a little husky from the night before.

‘There she is. I see your show was well received last night.’

‘Oh?’ She feigned ignorance. 

‘There is a write up about it already, some fans of Supernatural are getting quite excited about it. You wouldn’t happen to know anyone from the show would you?’

‘Maybe.’

She heard Oscar sighing down the phone where there would usually be laughter.

‘You better not be messing around with a married man, Effie.’

‘Why would that be any of your fucking business, Oscar?’

‘I thought as much, you won’t deny it either. I noticed something about you when you came down for Dar’s party.’

‘You noticed what?’

‘Well, don’t get me wrong you are always lovely but you were simply glowing when you arrived at the airport.’

‘Oh shut up, you’re so full of crap.’

‘Am I?’

She supposed he wasn’t. But again, she didn’t want to tell him he was right. 

‘Yeah, your silence speaks volumes.’

‘I’m a big girl, Oscar. I look out for myself. Always have.’

The last two words stung him and she knew it. He shifted in his chair, she heard him clear his throat the way he always did, before he wanted to launch into a speech about how she was getting herself into trouble.

’Before you start, because I know what you’re going to say!’ She warned, hearing him start to tell her to watch herself.

‘I appreciate your concern, but I’m not getting myself into anything I haven’t thought about for many sleepless nights. We have...an agreement.’

Oscar scoffed, ‘so you’re fucking a married man. That’s fine is it?’

‘It is for us, Oscar. Please don’t judge me.’

‘I can’t not judge you. What’s with you lately? You’re not really acting like yourself.’

‘Hey, you told me I needed to loosen up a bit.’

‘Loosening up a little means go out with your friends more and have some fun. Not start a relationship with a married guy. A famous married one at that. Jesus, Stef, you have to be more careful.’

‘Oscar, I appreciate the concern.’

‘That’s it? No fighting back?’

‘I don’t want to fight, not with you. I can’t fight with you anymore.’

Oscar was sighing again. ‘Promise me, you’ll be sensible. I can’t stand seeing you broken hearted.’

‘Oh don’t start that shit again, please.’ Stef buried her face in the crook of her arm, laying across her bunk. 

‘I mean it, Stefanie. Don’t do that to yourself, you’re worth more than that. You’re more than a mistress.’

‘I know that. And as I said, it works for both of us right now.’

‘Yeah, yeah sure. You frustrate me so much, you know that?’

‘I do. It’s why you love me though.’ 

Perhaps she had chosen the wrong words, his voice which had been pleading was now just sad.

‘Fuck sakes. I’m shaking my head right now, but you can’t see me.’

Stef bit her nails, ‘yeah but I can imagine it, vividly. You still got that nice head of hair?’

‘Yep, I’m shaving it off as soon as this movie is done.’

‘I hate your bald head.’ Stef complained.

‘I am doing it just to annoy you, and I will be sending pictures.’

‘Ugh, delete me from your life please.’

‘Never,’ he smiled a little, ‘I gotta go.’

‘Later Oscar.’

‘Goodbye, love.’

CHAPTER 11

[resilientsovl]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME:  samuel  william  winchester. PRONUNCIATION:  pronounced  how  it’s  spelled. MEANING:  so  from   the  hebrew  name  שְׁמוּאֵל,  it  means  god  has  heard,  or  name  of  god.  it’s  a  little  ironic  considering  sam  is  lucifer,  god’s  fallen  son’s,  true  vessel.   REASONING:  sam  was  named  after  his  maternal  grandfather,  samuel  campbell. NICKNAME(S):  sam,  sammy,  little  winchester,  moose,  738273  other  height  related  nicknames. PREFERRED NAME(S):   sam. BIRTH DATE:  may  2,  1983. AGE:  honestly  he’s  not  sure.  he’s  died  3-4  times,  been  the  vessel  for  demons  and  archangels  which  probably  stalled  his  physical  aging  too.  i  say  he’s  probably  biologically  somewhere  around  35,  even  though  he’s  technically  47ish. ZODIAC: taurus. GENDER:  cismale. PRONOUNS:   he/him. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  heteroromantic. SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  bisexual.  (  he  can  appreciate  that  men  are  attractive,  has  probably  even  slept  with  a  couple,  but  has  no  desire  to  be  in  romantic,  serious,  relationships  with  men.  ) NATIONALITY:  american. ETHNICITY:   wonderbread  white. CURRENT LOCATION:  san  francisco,  ca. LIVING CONDITIONS:   a  crappy  two  bedroom  apartment  he  rents  by  the  month.  it’s  small,  not  in  a  great  neighborhood,  but  it  does  the  trick.   TITLE(S):   n/a.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE:   lawrence,  kansas. HOMETOWN:  technically  lawrence  kansas,  but  they  moved  around  frequently.   SOCIAL CLASS:  blue  collar. EDUCATION LEVEL:   undergraduate  degree  from  stanford.   FATHER:   john  winchester. MOTHER:   mary  winchester  (  neé  campbell  ).   SIBLING(S):   dean  winchester,  adam  milligan  (  half  ).   BIRTH ORDER:  dean,  sam,  adam.   CHILDREN:  jack  kline  (  adopted  /  unofficially  ) PET(S):   n/a. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES:  bobby  singer,  pseudo  uncle.   castiel,  pseudo  brother  /  brother-in-law.   SIGNIFICANT  OTHER:   natasha  herrera,  wife.  (  separated  ) PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS:   jessica  moore,  amelia  richardson,  meg,  sarah  blake,  ruby,  a  few  one  night  stands,  amy  pond  (  first  kiss  ),  etc.   ARRESTS?:  a  few,  yes.   PRISON TIME?:  minimal,  seen  in  folsom  prison  blues.  

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME:   credit  card  scams,  illegal  activity.   SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME:   n/a. TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME:   hunting,  but  it  pays  for  shit.   APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR:   unknown.   CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?:   this  is  never  the  job  he  wanted.  so  no,  definitely  not.   PAST JOB(S):   student.   SPENDING HABITS:  extremely  frugal,  only  on  necessities.   MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION:  john  winchester’s  journal.  

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH:   peak  physical  condition,  human,  in-shape.   OFFENSE:   extremely  skilled  with  weapons  and  hand  to  hand.   DEFENSE:  extremely  skilled  with  lethal  and  non-lethal  defensive  moves.   SPEED:  faster  than  average. INTELLIGENCE:  educated  and  above  average.   ACCURACY:   above  average. AGILITY:   above  average.   STAMINA:   above  average.   TEAMWORK:   below  average.  he  doesn’t  work  well  with  people  he  doesn’t  know  or  trust.  it  takes  time  to  develop  a  bond  /  ease  of  working  with  others.   TALENTS:   computer  skills,  digesting  information,  critical  thinking  skills. SHORTCOMINGS:   stubborn,  naive,  reckless,  deep  psychological  trauma,  suicidal  ideation,  a  nice  grabbag  of  issues.   LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN:   latin,  english,  probably  a  bunch  of  other  old,  dead,  languages  that  might  come  in  handy.  he  probably  also  took  spanish  in  school.   DRIVE?:   yes. JUMP-STAR A CAR?:   yes. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?:   yes.   RIDE A BICYCLE?:   yes. SWIM?:   yes.   PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?:   no. PLAY CHESS?:   yes. BRAID HAIR?:   no. TIE A TIE?:   yes. PICK A LOCK?:  yes.  

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM:   jared  padalecki.   EYE COLOR:   hazel. HAIR COLOR:   brown. HAIR TYPE/STYLE:   long  and  flowing.   GLASSES/CONTACTS?:   n/a. DOMINANT HAND:   right.   HEIGHT:  6′4 WEIGHT:   220  ish  lbs. BUILD:   slender  but  muscular.   EXERCISE HABITS:  rigorous.  he  jogs  in  the  mornings,  does  sit  ups  /  pull  ups  at  night,  and  lifts  weights  during  the  day  in  between  cases.  he  stays  in  shape.   SKIN TONE:   tanned.   TATTOOS:   anti-possession  tattoo  over  his  heart.   it  was  carved  out  in  2026  but  the  scar  has  been  tattooed  over,  replacing  the  original.   PEIRCINGS:   none.   MARKS/SCARS:   he’s  died  and  come  back  so  many  times,  it’s  hard  to  say  what’s  still  there  and  what’s  gone.   he  does  still  have  the  bullet  wound  from  where  he  shot  chuck  though.  it  never  healed.   NOTABLE FEATURES:   nose,  hair.   USUAL EXPRESSION:   smirk  of  disbelief,  concern.   CLOTHING STYLE:   lumberjack  lesbian.   JEWELRY:    he  wears  a  chain  with  his  wedding  ring  around  his  neck,  the  one  he  never  got  to  put  on  for  real.   ALLERGIES:   none.   BODY TEMPERATURE:   normal. DIET:   not  great.  hence  the  need  to  work  out. PHYSICAL AILMENTS:   general  fatigue  from  a  rigorously  active  lifestyle.  

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE:  INFJ JUNG SUBTYPE:  Introvert(47%)  iNtuitive (34%)  Feeling(31%)  Judging(38%) You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (47%) You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (34%) You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (31%) You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (38%) ENNEAGRAM TYPE:   the  reformer  or  the  challenger.   MORAL ALIGNMENT:  chaotic  good.   TEMPERAMENT:   melancholic.   ELEMENT:   taurus  are  usually  earth  elements,  but  i  think  air  suits  sam  better.   PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE:   logical-mathematical,  probably.   APPROXIMATE IQ:   unknown.  we  know  he  scored  a  174  on  the  LSAT,  which  is  incredible,  but  that  doesn’t  always  translate  over  to  IQ.  i  would  say  he’s  got  a  pretty  high  IQ  even  if  he  lacks  a  few  common  sense  points.   MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS:   undiagnosed  depression,  anxiety,  PTSD,  imposter  syndrome,  and  survivor’s  guilt  —  and  that’s  just  the  tip  of  the  iceberg.   don’t  ask  me  to  psychoanalyze  the  winchesters,  it’ll  break  us  all.   SOCIABILITY:   he  doesn’t  seek  it  out  but  he  can  keep  up  with  the  joneses.   EMOTIONAL STABILITY:   not  good.  he  has  exhibited  severe  signs  of  codependency,  suicidal  ideation,  lack  of  regard  for  his  own  life,  and  believe  that  he’s  cursed.  the  boy  is  a  mess.   OBSESSION(S):  vengeance  after  significant  loss,  saving  people  (  even  if  it’s  from  themselves  ),  trying  to  make  up  for  all  of  the  blood  on  his  hands.   PHOBIA(S):   clowns.  not  a  fan.   ADDICTION(S):   demon  blood  (  previously  ) DRUG USE:   no. ALCOHOL USE:  recreationally.   PRONE TO VIOLENCE?:  can  be,  yes.  

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE:  casual. ACCENT:   american.  nothing  specific.   QUIRKS:   chewing  on  pen  caps,  tapping  to  songs  on  the  radio  against  the  steering  wheel  with  his  fingers.   HOBBIES:   reading,  researching,  pool,  morning  crosswords.   HABITS:   stress  pacing,  irritability  under  extreme  pressure. NERVOUS TICKS:   jaw  clench,  nostrils  flaring,  hands  curled  into  fists.   DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS:  vengeance,  restoring  order  /  protecting  people,  survival.   FEARS:  losing  the  people  he  loves,  hurting  innocents,  isolation.   POSITIVE TRAITS:   dependable,  loyal,  protective,  determined,  strong,  honest,  vulnerable. NEGATIVE TRAITS:  impulsive,  reckless,  guilt-stricken,  naive,  obtuse,  too  trusting.   SENSE OF HUMOR:   dry,  sarcastic.   DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?:   no. CATCHPHRASE(S):  damnit, dean.    jerk  /  bitch.  

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY:   long  drives.   ANIMAL:  hedgehogs. BEVERAGE:   monster  energy  drinks.   BOOK:   probably  the  classics,  or  something  by  neil  gaiman. CELEBRITY:   he  doesn’t  have  one. COLOR:   blue.   DESIGNER:   doesn’t  have  one.   FOOD:  philly  cheesesteak.   maybe  mashed  potatoes,  if  not  the  cheesesteak.   FLOWER:   sunflowers. GEM:   none. HOLIDAY:    none.   MODE OF TRANSPORTATION:   car.   MOVIE:   mallrats.   MUSICAL ARTIST:  none.  he’ll  just  listen  to  whatever  they  have  in  the  car,  or  is  on  the  radio.  before  i  think  he  was  probably  into  top  40,  maybe  even  classic  rock  as  much  as  he  complained  about it.   QUOTE/SAYING:   none. SCENERY:   autumn  leaves  falling  from  trees.   SCENT:   linen.   SPORT:   none.  he  doesn’t  care.   SPORTS TEAM:   see  above.   TELEVISION SHOW:   none.  he  probably  only  watches  soap  operas  every  now  and  then  again.  he  doesn’t  watch  anything  he  would  have  to  invest  time  and  energy  in.   maybe  pawnstars,  or  mythbusters.   WEATHER:  drizzle.   VACATION DESTINATION:  somewhere  warm,  tropic,  and  free  of  monsters.  

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM:   to  have  a  normal  life.   he  knows  he’ll  never  get  it,  has  come  to  terms  with  the  fact  that  he  was  never  going  to  be  normal.   GREATEST FEAR:   ending  up  alone,  watching  everyone  he  loves  die.   MOST AT EASE WHEN:  around  the  people  he  loves.   LEAST AT EASE WHEN:   on  a  hunt  that’s  starting  to  go  awry.   WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN:   turning  into  a  monster  —  the  very  thing  he’s  dedicated  his  life  to  hunting,  or  becoming  evil.  being  forced  into  killing  his  own  brother,  or  someone  he  loves  like  family,  would  also  make  the  list.   BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT:  in  a  really  soft  way,  i  want  to  say  it’s  becoming  a  pseudo  dad  to  jack.  it  might  not  have  been  what  he  saw  for  himself,  or  how  he  imagined  being  a  dad,  but  he  loves  the  kid.   if  not  that,  maybe  stopping  the  apocalypse.   not  that  it  lasted  for  very  long.   BIGGEST REGRET:   not  telling  jessica  the  truth.  he  will  always  believe  he  got  her  killed.  that  guilt  will  set  with  him  until  the  day  he  dies.   MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT:   too  many  to  count.   BIGGEST SECRET:   he  remembers  a  lot  of  what  the  demon  did  when  it  possessed  him  in  2026.   he  fought  with  everything  he  had,  but  every  time  he  broke  through  they  pushed  him  back  down.   TOP PRIORITIES:  figuring  out  what  comes  next,  i  suppose.  

[allaboutthebooz]

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) Part Twelve

Summary: Y/N’s mind brings her down.

Warnings: flangst (is that even a word? No, well then I made it up.)

A/N: Finally! The long awaited part 12 has FINALLY arrived! I love the reader’s love with Jake and this will just be a filler piece before we have a small time jump! But I hope you all love this as much as I do!

Wrapping up Far From Home was hard. It meant that you would have to say goodbye to everyone. Your new friends. Precious Tom and Zendaya. Of course, Jake. You knew you would end up having to say goodbye, but he always made sure that you knew it wasn’t a definite goodbye. He already had a trip planned after Christmas, to fly up to Vancouver and the both of you would visit one of the ski resorts in the area for New Year’s. But it didn’t make it any easier. You had one last day together before he flew back to New York and you to Vancouver. You both spent the day in bed. Only leaving to eat and use the bathroom. You wanted to memorize each and every part of Jake. You didn’t want to leave him, but you both had other commitments arranged before meeting each other.

‘Come Away with Me’ by Nora Jones playing softly from somewhere in the apartment. You laid across his chest. His heartbeat under your ear, lulling you to sleep. His fingers gliding up and down your naked back as he hummed along to the song, gripping each other tight. Boxes scattered around the apartment. Your stuff packed away to be flown out to Vancouver. You watched the sun set beyond the buildings, casting a warm glow across your bedroom.

He had become so much to you in such a short amount of time. You didn’t want to let him go. Letting go meant, going back to reality. Going back to reality meant, getting on a plane and being apart from each other for months.

“I can hear you thinking.” He whispers, pressing a kiss into your hair. You prop yourself on you elbow, hair flowing and falling around you like a curtain. That sense of Deja Vue hitting you. The memory of your first your night in Greece, pushing its way into the front of your brain. The only difference this time, is the heavy weight in your heart.

Tears pricking your eyes, your throat growing tight. “I don’t think I can do this, Jake.” You see the shock begin to fill his face, thinking the worst. You quickly reassure him. “I can’t leave you. I can’t go back to Vancouver. I don’t want to.”

Sensing the panic beginning to fill you, he sits up and grips your face in both hands. “Hey, where is this coming from? I thought you wanted to go back. You have to go back. You have to say goodbye properly.”

“I know, I just don’t think I can do it.”

“I know it’s going to be hard, but you have to do this. If you don’t, you’re going to beat yourself.”

“Then come with me. I know you need to go back to New York, but you could come with me.”

“Smalls, you gotta go. You know I gotta go back to New York. I have to meet up with my manager and move things around, so that I can be in Vancouver for New Year’s like we planned.”

“But you could do that in Vancouver. It’s not too late to change your flight. I don’t want to leave you.”

“Y/N. We have a plan.”

“Screw the plan!” You pull away from him and climb off the bed. Picking your robe up from the floor and pulling it around you, tying it closed. “Don’t you want to be with me?”

“You know I do!” He stands up, pulling his boxers up around his waist. “What’s going on, Smalls? What’s wrong?”

“You run a hand over your face and through your hair. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to be by myself over there.”

“Who said that you were going to be by yourself? Jared will be there and Misha and Alex. And Genevieve and the kids are flying up there for the holidays. You’ll never be alone.”

“Yes, I will. You won’t be there, so I’ll be by myself. Just the idea of having to be away from you is making this huge in my gut. I love you and I just want to be with you. Why can’t you come with me?”

Jake moves around the bed to stand in front of you. He grips both of your arms in his hands, lowering his head enough to look you in the eye evenly. “I love you, Smalls, but you know you gotta do this by yourself. You have to do this. It won’t be forever. Just a month and half and then we’ll be together. I told you. We might be miles apart, but I’m not letting you go. You just have to finish filming and say goodbye to Anne the way you and the fans deserve and then we’ll be together.” He pulls you to him. “Just because we’ll be apart doesn’t mean that we’re done. I’ve already told you that you’re it for me. I don’t want anybody but you.”

You wrap your arms tighter around him, burying your face in his chest. “I’m just scared the you’re going to fly home and forget about me.”

He pulls away and looks at you, taking you face in his hands again. “How much longer do I have to prove to you, that you’re everything to me? I have never cared about anyone else, like this before.” He strokes his thumbs across your cheeks. “I don’t want anyone else. I will never forget you, Smalls.”

“Promise?’

“I told you I would always catch you. I meant it. Nothing will keep me from you. You’re going to fly to Vancouver and kill your final season with the guys and then we’re going to destroy a mountain.”

You give him a small smile but find it hard to truly mean it.

“I was going to wait to tell you this, but I’ve actually been looking at renting an apartment in Atlanta.”

“What?”

“I know that being apart is going to be hard on both of us and I know that when we’re back together things will be different and I’m not going to want to leave you again. I was going to surprise you after the new year, but you need to know now so that I can give you another reason to see that I’m not going anywhere.”

Tears pool in your eyes. “Jake.” You sigh out his name and then start laughing. He looks confused at your sudden change of emotions. “I bought an apartment in New York. I knew that after I was done filming Supernatural, that I wouldn’t want to be that far away from you anymore, so I had Amanda go and look at a few different apartments and she sent me the papers of the one we both agreed would be great me. I just signed the papers and had them sent off yesterday. I’m selling my place in LA. I want to be closer to you. I wanted to move to Texas, but home is where you are and you’re in New York. I know that I have to fly out to Atlanta after the premiere of Spider-Man, but I want to be with. I’m all in.”

He doesn’t say anything. You start to grow concerned that you made the wrong choice. Did he not want you to move to New York? Before you can question your concerns, he crashes his mouth to yours. The kiss ending too soon for your liking.

“I love you. We’ll make it through that small time apart and then I’m never letting you go.”

You smile up at and him. Your concerns about being away from him being eased by your confessions. They always said that fools rush in, but you didn’t care. You were going to spend the rest of your life with the man in front of you and no one could tell you otherwise.

@mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @spnfamily-thewinchesters @aomi-nabi @tmiships4life @jxnnxbrxwn @liebemeineslebensx @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @cookiechipdough @maralisa124 @greyeyedsmile14 @keikoraventeller @captaindorit0 @frozenhuntress67 @nerdygirlwithacrush @everyfallentear @parkeret @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @mml232 @sing4mejensen @voideandotherstuff @samuelwillliamwinchester @sherlockedtash88 @31shadesofbrown @deansbbysblog @linki-locks11 @mirandaaustin93 @hiraethclaire @love-my-not-natural-babies @nickigv @flamencodiva @supernatural300 @gh0stgurl @sexykitten235 @holylulusworld @heyitscam99 @atlas-of-the-world @colie87 @woodworthti666 @princessizzy36 @pretty-fortune @death-unbecomes-you @theloudkilljoy @nea90sweetie

[nichknack]

request: deh, treebros, western

 *Blasts Weird Weird West*

(Also, fun fact! Acorn Calf means a weak or runty calf.)

—

Evan Hansen had always been a sickly child. His grandmother used to remark–whether she knew he was listening or not–that “he’s got no constitution for The West. One step outta town and…” she’d just shake her head, hands raised. 

That alone was one of the main reasons Evan moved from behind the bar. People tended to ignore a barkeep so long as he kept the flow of moonshine going. 

Day after day he’d pour drinks and watch the patrons slink in and out, making mental notes of who’s who and what’s what. He knew there was no point in offering full-price to Big Jake, always half price, anything more and you’d have the barrel of his gun prodding your chest. Those three brothers, on the other hand, the ones that looked nothing alike, they tended to be much kinder, they’d even sing a few songs if you got the amount of whisky just right. 

The town was small and by the time he reached his twenty-second year, Evan had a mental library of almost every citizen, ranger and miner–even a few outlaws. 

Well, apart from that long-haired one in the corner. He’d arrived in the town three days earlier and said barely a word other than “scotch.”  

“He might be a new miner,” Evan murmured, more to himself than his friend. Jared had scoffed at that. “He’d snap like a twig the moment he held a pick.”He raised an eyebrow. “Not that he’ll get the chance. Ain’t that Big Jake’s usual seat?”

Evan nibbled his lip. “They’re not going to kill him over a seat,” he said, though he didn’t sound sure. 

The stranger didn’t move from his spot in the corner, he didn’t even look up when Big Jake loomed over him. 

“Move.” Big Jack’s voice sent a wave of silence over the bar. 

Again, the stranger didn’t move, he didn’t even speak. He just raised his glass to his lips. 

Big Jake’s hand swiped out, sending the glass to the floor. The sound of the glass shattering made the hair on the back Evan’s neck stand on end. 

“I said move, Girly.” 

Again, nothing. 

Big Jake grabbed the stranger by the roots of his hair. “Cat got your tongue, kid?!” he snapped, giving his hair a hard yank. 

“I don’t see your name on it,” the stranger muttered. 

“Huh?!”

The stranger looked up, his nose wrinkled into a sneer. “The seat. I don’t see your name on it.” 

Jared’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Welp. He’s fucked.” 

“Ha!” Big Jake boomed a single-noted laugh. “You’re too big for your boots, kid.” With his free hand, he grabbed the stranger by the throat, lifting him off his feet.

Evan’s stomach twisted. “H-Hey!” The word escaped from his mouth before he could even think. 

Big Jack paused, though he didn’t let go of the stranger. 

Evan swallowed, trying to return some form of moisture to his mouth. “P-put…put him down…or…or I’m afraid I won’t be able to serve you any…anymore…” 

Big Jake’s eyes narrowed and the stranger fell to the floor with a soft thud. Jake gave him a hard kick before leaving. 

Painfully aware that the whole bar was staring at him, Evan hurried out from behind the counter. “Are you alright?” he asked. 

The stranger rubbed his throat. “Fine,” he hissed, his voice hoarse. 

“Are you sure? Let me get you another–” before he could even finish his sentence the stranger had clambered to his feet and was already walking towards the door. 

—

Evan knew something was wrong the moment he locked up for the night. A dark shadow sent shivers up his spine. 

Hugging his coat around his body, Evan set off through the streets. It didn’t take long for him to hear the footsteps trailing behind him. Ahead of him, someone stepped out onto the street, blocking his way. 

“You got some nerve.” He head Big Jake speak up behind him, the cold barrel of a gun pressed between his shoulder blades. “No hard feelings, I got a reputation I need to uphold. Can’t have some Acorn Calf thinking he can order me around.”

Evan screwed his eyes tightly shut, his breath catching in his throat. 

A gunshot rang out through the streets, but Evan felt no pain. 

He opened his eyes and saw the lacky blocking his path crumpled on the ground, blood leeching into the earth. 

He and Jake both whirled around to see a figure in the dark, a revolver raised. 

“Move on,” the stranger called. The gun in his hand clicked as he moved the barrel to the next chamber. 

Big Jack tisked and looked at Evan over his shoulder. “You got lucky, Kid.”

The moment Jack was out of sight Evan sank to his knees, his breaths coming in short, sharp gasps. 

“Hey,” The stranger put a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “Get moving.” 

“H-Huh?” 

“You think he’s just going to leave us be? He’s getting reinforcements. Get up.” He pulled Evan to his feet, holding him by his arm. 

“T-thank you.” 

“Thank me once we ’re out of town. Keep moving.” The stranger kept pulling him forward.

“Who are you?” 

“Connor. Save the intros for later or we’ll both end up with bullets between our eyes.”

[spnfanficpond]

February 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting today with @impala-dreamer!! Thank you so much, Beka, for joining us!

We talked about self-publishing through Amazon, how to do it, what the benefits are, and the challenges to making a finished product. A rundown of the chat, as well as some general Pond news, is below the cut!

Q: What sort of music do you listen to when you write?

Beka: Oh, uh... Well, Actually, I have a lot of playlists on youtube. So it depends. I have a hardcore smut list that is just music that gets my hips moving... then a romance thing which is feely stuff. A "Deanspiration" list that oddly has zero Zepplin in it, just stuff that reminds me of him or gives me ideas. Sometimes I hear a song and it instantly snaps an idea. I write to music a lot.

Q: For everyone, do you reblog everything you read or do you think likes have the same “power” behind them?

Beka: No. If I read it, I reblog, unless it’s iffy. Iffy means, I read it, but wasn’t up my alley or I think it would be too triggering for people. I avoid those types of fics, anyway.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: There is a very small percentage of things I read that I won't reblog, but then, I haven't really read them, I've noped out for one reason or another. Usually grammar/formatting or content, not writing style, to be clear.

@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish: I guess one reason I suck at reblogging is a lot of the stuff I read has nothing to do with what is currently reblogged on my blog and that just doesn't match in my very matchy brain...is that just me?

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I believe that everyone should be able to put on their blog what they want. Some folks see their blog as a collection like in a museum. Some folks, like me, see it as more of a news feed. Collectors are less likely to reblog because they're carefully curating their blog. My advice to collectors is to then make a side blog where you can reblog the things you don't want to collect.

Q: What’s the biggest challenge you find in writing?

Beka: I think the biggest challenge for me is writing in the moment. I can't write if it's not flowing, and sometimes I try to force myself just to get the story out bc i fear i'm letting people down by not posting enough? But it’s not good when I do that, so I have to let myself go with the story that's with me at the moment. Sometimes it's two at once, like today. lol. Also, Sam is hard. (heheh no really, he is. also he is. but pg13)

Q: There are so many questions to about this process!

Beka: I do really get asked about it a lot, and it's really not that hard once you do it. It's annoying to navigate and decide what you want to do, but it really is awesome and not too frustrating. Amazon is really great because they do have an extensive help section AND message boards so you can ask and talk to other self publishers so it's like having someone with you.

Q: You said you chose to publish through Amazon. Out of curiosity, were there any other ways you heard about or considered before you settled on Amazon, and if so, was there a specific reason you didn't use them?

Beka:  I'm basically a Google fanatic, so when I decided to do this, I had no idea what I was doing so basically I goggled "How to self publish a book" and there were THOUSANDS of sites thrown at me. I honestly can't remember the other sites I looked at, but it basically came down to amazon was a company name I knew, I trusted, and had the best help and resources. And I have a kindle, so I figured that was easiest. I think I only looked into one or two others but I can't remember what they were. Amazon just stood out.  I did read up on like actually doing it yourself like through a book binder and all that and it was SOOOO much work this was just the easiest and most cost effective.

Q: Okay, but with Amazon, do they, like, own part of your content if you publish through them?

Beka: NOPE. I hold copyright to all my works. they just are the people who produce the actual physical book.

Q: What was the time frame, like from start to finish, I guess? Or the process if you don't mind. What did you have to do to get set up with Amazon?

Beka: Ok- so getting set up was easy. if you have an amazon account, you're good. Or you just make one. then there is a website- kdp.amazon.com -and they literally walk you through the entire process.  Someone up there asked how long it took -  I rushed it. my novel started as fanfic, which I wrote in about 2 months, then I took 2 weeks re-editing and changing to non-fanfic, then about a week editing again and formatting and then i had my hard copy. So, all in- maybe 3 months, but the actual amazon stuff takes a few days to get you a book in hand.

@kittenofdoomage: One thing I will say about Amazon, it's very convenient but I struggled with the covers and formatting.

Q: Did you have to use special software to submit your work?

Beka: I write in google docs, but amazon no likey- so I had to move everything over to Microsoft Word. and from there it gets updated. HOWEVER, there is now in beta testing an amazon program which I downloaded for my 3rd book but was too frustrated to figure out so I never used it. it's specifically for Kindle, but kindle didn't like my poetry format so I couldn’t do it.

@kittenofdoomage: They have step by step guides. And I use Google Docs, too, but you can download into a PDF or .doc file from there.

Q: So it's not a copy-paste thing, you upload the completed file then reformat it for amazon?

Beka: well... it's two different things for paperback and kindle. There are specific formatting guidelines for paperback such as margin sizes and gutters and such so when you turn a page it's not all wonky. Kindle formatting is MUCH easier to do. you just upload and it does it for you. The files for paperback need to be formatted with specific things. it's not hard... just annoying.

Q: You mentioned changing your fanfic into non-fanfic. Does that mean you can't have any fan elements in a story to publish it?

Beka: Well... my novel was basically a J2 x Reader BDSM fanfic, and so I changed J2 to original characters, I changed the show, the car, the everything. If you know that I write SPN fic, and you read it, you can see it's clearly SPN, but those who don't know SPN don't know that, because I've asked. lol. Also- someone read it recently and thought the Jared character was Jensen, so I guess I changed it enough.  I personally would not publish anything that actually said SPN or J2 or anything because those are copy-written characters and not mine so it does seem illegal to make money off of them, ya know? 

@mrswhozeewhatsis: It is actually illegal to make money off of fan fiction. The WB owns the characters and the show. If anyone else tries to make money off the characters or identifiable elements of the show, the WB can sue and win.

@kittenofdoomage: Those who use Patreon are covered under fair usage only because Patreon is a donation site.

Q: Were there any parts of the process that surprised you?

Beka:  Honestly, the entire thing surprised me. I went into it like just to see if it was possible and then i realized- I CAN’T publish my work. they WILL sell it. People WILL buy it. and it was all very shocking. It was scary, and I know people are intimidated by it, but it really was simple in the end, and if you want to do it- do it. It's awesome to look over at my bookshelf and see my name on actual, physical books ya know?

@kittenofdoomage: I was the same, Beka. I procrastinated for months. And okay, it wasn't a huge success but I learned from the first time, bettered myself the second time, and now.... I'm procrastinating again but that's not the point lol

Q: How much money do you make per sale?

Beka: It depends on the format and the cost you put. Like, for my short story and poetry book I make PROBABLY a few cents on it. My novel I make around $2 depending on the price I set. You set the selling price, and you can do sales and freebies. 

@kittenofdoomage: You can choose everything. They tell you how much you'll make from each copy sold.

Q: Do they tell you how much other authors sell similar works for, to give you an idea what others think is reasonable?

Beka: Yeah, you can look it up, too. They have a chart that's like, "This is your sale price. This is how much we take to make it. This is how much you get," and you can fiddle with it.

Q: Is there any kind of marketing happening on Amazon’s side, or is it all you?

Beka: They can do promotions, but you have to pay them to promote it.

Q: Did you look into promotion costs through Amazon? What kind of money are we talking, here?

Beka: Honestly, I don’t remember. When I see a fee of any kind I run for the hills because I'm cheap like that. lol. It's prob not too cheap BUT they also have this thing you can sign up for that's like a library kinda deal where your book can go on the free book a month kindle deal- i didn't do it bc you don't get royalties for it. but more people read it? idk what's best. It's all very over my head marketing.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I guess if you're looking to become a popular selling author, and you have the cash to pay to promote it, then after a few books, it would pay off when you develop an audience.

Q: Do you think self publishing is the way to go long term, or maybe a better in terms of testing the waters? I realize you are still in the latter stage but I'm curious about your opinion...

Beka: Here's my thoughts: I used to be a singer/songwriter. I played in Manhattan. I had paying gigs. I recorded an album. I thought I could make it work. But I didn't go for it. No one handed me a record contract. I let it all go to have my kids and family.  I want to write. I realize no one's gonna stick their hand out and hand me a publishing deal. BUT I might be able to pay some bills with my books. I might be able to write enough, well enough to sell some books. and if i sell enough books, maybe a publisher WILL see me and then I can attempt the next stage.  I think self publishing is great. Why not? Do it if you want to do it. If you want to write, write. If you want to share it, share it. Who's to stop you? And if you can share it through self publishing with people all over the world?? freaking do it, man. 

Q: What is your best piece of writing advice?

Beka: OK, my best writing advice is... See it, feel it, write it. If you don't feel what you're writing, I'm not gonna feel it reading it. I think i'm more of an emotional writer than a descriptive. I can't tell you what the room looks like that they're in, but I can tell you how it feels that Dean just stepped on that Lego. ya know? Idk. Write what you see and feel, and put yourself into it, and it'll be amazing. 

Q: Are you a planner or a pantser?

Beka: Planner? SOMETIMES. It depends. I have plans for series, but shorter things I just go with the flow. I'm constantly messaging Ashley like "DEAN JUST DID X. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" lol

Q: Do you outline at all, or just have a general goal in mind?

Beka: I do outline series. but not... strictly or drastically. Like, right now i'm working on a series for my kink bingo that's alternates between the brothers. I have a general plot line over all to follow, but i've also set it up like c1- flogging. c2- spanking, etc. 

Q: What is something you know now that you wish you knew before you published?

Beka: I think I'd tell myself to not worry and just freaking write what I want.

Q: Do you have a writing schedule or something that keeps you productive?

Beka: No. I try very hard to have a schedule, but I'm a little... slightly... bipolar I think and my writing follows my moods. I can write 20K in a weekend and then nothing for a week. I just literally ride the wave of ideas. Like, currently I'm in a slump. but I wrote 10K this week before the slump hit. It's quite annoying.

Except for some general conversation about the stupid places and times we all get ideas and the incomprehensible notes we’ve all left for ourselves, the chat ended. A good time was had by all, I think!! Thanks to everyone who was there! @littlegreenplasticsoldier @kittenofdoomage @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @because-imma-lady-assface @canadianspnhunter (And two folks whose URLs I never got: Cassie and Shaila)

General Pond Updates and Reminders

Angel Fish Award nominations are due soon! Click the link for the list of raffle prizes! Remember, every nomination is an entry! So far, we’ve only received three or four nominations. If you have sent in a nomination, but have not received a private message confirming we received it, we didn’t get it. Send it in again! Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - New prompts go up after every new episode, and there’s no deadline! Check out the prompts and rules at the link!

Say hi to February’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the chat room and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

Next month’s LiveChat details will be published as soon as we know them! Hope to see you there!