#and most of my wardrobe is six-style bright hawaiian shirts

[serpercival]

There are lots of things to criticize about the RTD era of Doctor Who but let me offer a different criticism than normal: RTD dresses his Doctors in normal people clothes.

That's normal clothes! Leather jacket, suit, other suit (admittedly with a splash of color). If whoever you were talking to knew nothing about Doctor Who, you could get away with wearing that to a job interview! Nine's a little grungy but it's not that out there.

Compared to the other Doctors...

Like, that's all bonkers. Eleven's approaches normal but I think is offset by the fact that Matt Smith was super young and wearing clothes for the oldest man ever (yeah, it's the Doctor, I know). But, like, look at all the velvet! The insane color choices! Whatever the hell Five and Seven have going on! If I wore any of these things, people would know immediately that I have an unhealthy relationship with this show! That is what I think costuming for the Doctor should be all about, and RTD doesn't manage it.

(Edit to add: Don't get me wrong, I do love RTD's version of the show. I have a lot of criticisms about every era <3)

[abstracttravel]

LOQUA - CIOUS

La Segunda Parte

James has the luxury of his own connecting flight. A bare foot straddles the wheedling away foam seat.  Jangling keys penetrate instead of the emergency screwdriver. The no seatbelt sign lights up and a “merge” into the foot traffic. Slow going with floaties, cozies and backward flippers jostling for the wrong of way. Make the bend at Duke’s statue and back to side street shorts and dodging the hotel detritus. A spill in that swill of air conditioner runoff, greased out oven dregs, eclairs gone sour and most likely some semen is a faux pas to the Nth. Ugh.   

James pops the kickstand, quickly imprinting the black tar, and steals a glance at the track team lapping on the stadium turf. The light will diffuse slowly this long summer evening, casting a hazy sombre over his military cornered sheets. The outer common area is jamming to Jamrock cuts and the Spliffs are sweating through the open doors. No time for that now, the daily party prepping and preening must commence post-haste.

The door was slightly ajar as always, no threat of the non existent Air Con seeping out. The sink sticky sweet with pineapple rinds and a small protectorate of ants from last night’s swarre. The typical random foreign pastiche of 7-11 wrappers of three less than hypoallergenic roomates, occupy the hinterlands of the formica. The sinkcastles of solo cups, dotted with watermelon seeds strew aside stockpiles of spent wasabi packets and chopstick splinters.     

“Hey man do you have anything on Saturday?” bellows Dave from the foggy bathroom.

“Not too sure depends on the morals of Val’s friends haha.” James jests.

“He told me they have some Pika frat dude boyfriends back UCSD. Good luck with that!” Daves says.

“Yeah I’ll be with Nikki anyways so I haven’t told her about the these girls. Ha. Besides they are only here this weekend. Should be a hotel party then I’m thinking.” James suggests.

“I was thinking to go to Diamond Head in the day and get smokey, walk around and bullshit.” Dave hints.

“You remember that time we went to the waterfall with Kate, right? We smoked behind the waterfall and your dumbass wants to climb to the top! Look mannnn… There’s a path!” James recalls.

“That was Stockholm syndrome bro! You wanted to go too.” says Dave.

“How long was that hike? Maybe getting lost for 3 fucking hours. Grabbing roots in wet boardshorts.. Going practically vertical with no path, that was you itinerary” James says.

“Yeah but…..” drags Dave.   

“So no, to joining your expedition.” James replies.

“Whatever, I’m taking my second nap…” trails off Dave as his dirty towel sundae sprinkled with backne jimmies disappears into the funk that is his den.

James lily puddles his way into his realm of borderline OCD. Throws the beyond the pale green Clive deck packin pack onto the doubled tucked sheets. He flickers the sticker cocooned LapBottom to submissive consciousness, the grogginess of 2 GB lists. The dregs of a Mickey’s Grenade tumult slightly as the BoySetsFire menaces. A quick cold douse in the hot water devoid petri dish, his salt and arenas ankles add more sand to the box. A dollar store PC speaker pixelates a tepid squawk through the limed fish curtain. Seth, the agoraphobic gamer and wisp chined squatter, has not left the nest for 3 days apparently. Why study in Hawaii when you could learn about stale kleenex sculpting stateside.

A few squeaks of the shower shoes come found loungewear and the bright vans Cholo button down is anchored in tight Element pants framing crisp unskated Es Blue Sal 23s. The smell of spaghetti pomodoro a la studienti poveri wafts from the neighbor’s cucina. Prefacing the dinner triangle there is usually some impromptu, 2 winded sheets foray into the dorm’s 10 communal iceboxes. Some quasi Italian or Mexican carb accompanies a yardsale of dogeared veggies and a non-spread-covering over/under of seasoning. The too many cooks but ample pot situation flies here as baking and pre-heating are pre-ordained. The vegetarian option usually turns out the be the former of bad and evil.      

This sundown, the juvenile California pink backed hawks have returned to their falconry gloves with Mai Tais in their gullets and Jack in their maws. Drunk and lit as their Gaslight District street lamps, they are in various states of undress and redress as James peers through a shade on approach. There is some “Thong-g Thong-g Thong-g” from the warm beer coaster slash Ghetto Blaster on the red carpet. The song became some kinda of late-night jam of the Summer, tho ironic or just ass-shakin left to debate.

The girls were in bathing suits, bras, or in various stages of blowdry. Everyone was sunburned, spilling and succeeding at life.

Shila and Noelani are in the kitchen, both cooking,  only one with the spliff.

“James what took you so long to get here? We need some more salsa from your house. We didn’t want to see your weird roommates hahaha.” Shila says as Noelani blows rings.

“Nah nothing just tired from the sun. We were there for like 4 hours and YOU can get the pasta. The creeper and the lurker are in their rooms.” James says.

“Hmm… Sara you go, we are busy. If we hear you scream we got your back!” Noelani laughs, exhales and coughs for the next 45 seconds.

“Ugh...only because you are too high to find it psssssh! Get lost in a cabinet haa.” Sara says.

“Where is Nikki? Megan did you see her in your place?” James asks.

“Yeah she was waiting for the shower, but you know Liz takes forrrrr ever in there.” She should be finished now tho?” Megan reports.

“She told me you lost at Vodka-Cran Pong last night so you  both have to do the dishes. Good luck with those 40 plastic fluorescent shot glasses you stole from that Tiki Bar! Haha… We need immaculate” Winks James.

“Ok J, I’m more worried about these greasy-ass Enchilada pans. Damn…” Megan confesses.

Cologne starts to intermingle with Ancho Chilli dust, and it can only James best dude. Val pops his head in the door with those stupid Terminator-Style sunnies leading the way. He is wearing some pomegranate red and bleach white hibiscus Tommy Bahama reject.       

“Jamessssssssss!!! Vatoooooo!!! Where you been bro.” Val So-Cal drawls.

“Just back from the beach with the girls. Came home and got spicy and breezy for a few. Hooked up that aloe.” James says.

“Yeah I was at econ class, hangover AF. Needed like 3 of those dollar Maki rolls just to get me straight.” quips Val.

James snickered. “Yea I was Bento boxing before the beach. That Giant Clam tho. Everyday I think I can do it, but nah… Ha!” replies James

“Gross. You always eat weird shit. Here man do you want a Corona.” Val offers.

“ You got lime? I want a Michelada” asks James.

“ Yeah we got that, but the muy picante hot sauce I brought from Cali is finished.So you got Food Lion.” grins Val.

“Weeeeeeeaaak… like that Hale crackerjack prize shirt. Psssssst!” James jibes.

“Man this is solid tiki barbeque quality shit. Some Kalua pig worthy wardrobe. Look at you with your sister’s tight jeans.” Val barbs.

“Whatever man… I’m not gonna know you at the club later. Wear those glasses too pimp.” James mocks.

“Shut up gringo haha. Take this beer before it is sweating. Make your own drink.” Val tosses the perspiring projectile across the counter.

“ Fine… so what’s the plan for tonight? You know what hotel the girls are staying at?” James asks.

“They are in some Ambassador place close to the beach. Told me it’s nice but not to nice to get thrown out of. Ha.. Remember, these are girls who do like 3 spring breaks a year!” Val replies.

“Yea you told me Haha. So we go to the hotel for some pregame and pick them up. After, come back here and get everybody rounded up?” James says.

“Def, let's check out Planet Hollywood later. They have specials for girl drinks.  It will be funny or stupid haha, and then we can dance at Hard Rock after.” Val proposes.

“Ok that’s all good. We can taxi there, maybe 2 vans? When do we bike over to the hotel?” James asks.

“Yeah man they should be at the hotel around 8. But supplies are running low so we need to get some refrescas before then.”

“Oh…. are you using my best friend's sketchy-ass looking Fake ID? It’s not even the same skin shade as me bro! It’s his shitty fake, not even mine Ha!! Like paying $25 bucks for six degrees or something.” James jokes.

“You buy stuff for the girls everyday. The people believe it. Just don’t go to that old Kamehameha guy’s place again.” Val says.

“Yeah that knife collection is massive…. Ok, but only because my Hawaiian Princess is working the 7 now.” James winks.

“She has some Hale crush on you man. Na Sked Brudah! Just cause she is big and has that weird eye thing. Haaha!” Val mimes the looks to James.

“Yeah she is def a better choice than Nikki. I’ll write her a poem and tape it to some Spam Musubi Ha! Unrequited love, right?” James pumps a beating heart.

“Whatever, I don’t think you could even find a hotter girl than Nikki. Even if you had those Julio iglesias swag!” Val invokes his Padre’s favorito.

‘Ha yea man, it's probably true. I know you are thinking some hook up with her and your girl.” James smiles.

“It’s not my fault Megan that sees that in the shower everyday ha! She said it, not me.” Val grins.

“Stupido… Let’s walk to the 7-11 now. Get the money and what people want. Remember we gotta carry all of it back. F.” James grimaces.

Val is quick and convincing, as if he’s done this before… Every day since June. The girls seem to always have their stash, and most are already half cornichoned at this junction. They request the always seaworthy Captain. Guys tend toward Coronas, sometimes conjuring and confiscating all the limes in Food Lion… Thrice. Val visits Seattle Mark and his seemingly sister wives roomies, who always got the good green and that perpetually high phosphoric, panorama swiveled chameleon. All from the Emerald City, Mark moved with his waif girlfriend and her wife hermana to UH even though he didn’t pay tuition or have a bed there! They always were burning, baking and flush with kush. Conex, conex. They threw in for more cervezas.

James and Val took the short walk past the track stadium, where they could see the UH Rainbows finishing up suicides. That Seven was an almost omnipresent blessing always being within reach and selling spirits. The staff smelling of endo and those bleary eyes easy to miss the DOB. The Japanese heritage of Hawaii probably is the reason there are so many Sevens, but the Spam Musubi sushi, and the mashup Loco Moco bentos are def under the rising sun.

Alana is working so the acquisition of imbibables should be no prob. A little flirting from James and a little extra dinero is all. They crip walk trying to look hard and then bust up in laughter at the absurd entrance. The condensed freezers beget condensed crowned cervezas. A funk wafts metalic from the freon fumigation, but the beer is always ice. Schlitz cicled stalagmites protrude skyward, kinfolk with Boones Farm’s Northern lighted hues.

They deadlift two cubes and put them on the dirty sanded tiles. Val takes a quick stroll to the Spirits section, literally a Ruffles shelf repurposed. The cheap bum whiskies and vagrant brandies segregated on the lower rungs for inconspicuous consumption. The mid-management Finlandias, the Oldschlager and the firesale Firewater slunk and shimmer at eye level. The Captain, Malibu and the Crown Royale perch and parry for parity. Two handles are handled.

The Hales waltz towards the register, past the acrid frankfurters and hypnopompic slushy machines. The two Morgans are plonked down next to the hand saran wrapped Spam Musubi by Val. The kettlebells on the ceramic floor.

“Looking good tonight Alana, your hair is a lot longer now” Val says.

“Yes I haven’t cut it for a while. I’m trying to grow it longer. Thinking about dying it too,” Alana replies.

“I think you should do it lighter, and I don’t like short hair,” smiles James.

“Aww you would say that with your always white blond hair. How many boxes did you use this time haha,” laughs Alana.

“Only two, I just did the roots. It takes so long though, it always burns me,” James responds.

“Well then maybe I will make it lighter James, if you like it,” coos Alana.

“You know his girlfriend is going to Maui soon. James you should take her on a date. Go to the moto-sushi spot. Candles and Sake, right Alana,” Val suggests.

“James! We couuuld do that. I know how to keep a secret,” winks Alana.

“Ok yeah we can see, Ummm… I have some tests next week but I can give you my number.” James says.

“Awwww. Yay, here write down your number. I don’t work Monday and Thursday next week” giggles Alana.

“No worries, here. Just send me a text. We are having some party tonight, you can come to one. You are like our bootlegger anyways, hahah,” James smiles.

“ Ok, but you know I can get in a lot of trouble for you guys. The ID isn’t even you. Everyone here knows that….. But it’s ok, You are cute and this job is sooooo boring.” she sighs.

“Hahaha, that was James before the plastic surgery! I think he looks worse now,” Val interrupts.

“Whatever… You guys are sooooo funny, are you stoned now?” Alana squints.

“ Noooo…. But I know you are, or will be on your break! I see you eating all those twizzlers and Starburst wrappers sticking to your arms.” jokes Val.

“No I don’t, idiot! James, give me that dumb ID and get Val out of here. Stupid Hales.” says Alana.

“Look Val is high or something, forget it. I’m gonna bring you a present next time since you are so sweet.” James apologizes.

“Yeah he’s going to bring you a box of Starbursts! HAHAHA.” Val says as he grabs the cases and starts to leisurely bolt out the door.

“Here is the cash and a little extra for your smile. Text me. And i'll bring Sour Patch kids instead.” James says as he picks up Cap’n.

“Hahaha. I will! Be safe Mr. James.” Alana blows a kiss.  

   With two 24 count Mexican suitcases, and two handles of mustache growers they plod up the incline. The only caveat of the location is the scooter non gratis, anti two passenger, four carry-ons doesn’t land well. They laugh about the upcoming night, make plans for a day of tandem moto tourism and get winded thrice.

They arrive to the pumpkin rust glow of overhead moth raves, and a few cigarettes and Natty ice cubes melting around the table. Kobe, Sara’s Virginian main squeeze is laughing really quietly to himself. When he gazes up, his eyes implicate the culprit. Mark is at his side, checking us on approach. He has his signature T-shirt wrapped angels on horseback style, a Bedouin top-hat that has become the rage for the beach days and the wee hours. Scruffed up and dressed down, his cuts a figure that is Pac NoWest for days. His silhouette always shaded X Files style by the enveloping and ever evolving kush conduits.

Mark perks up hazily glimpsing the MRE’s tucked under fatigued wings. Kobe just laugh-coughs a “Vaaa...llllll….llll…..l”

“Ahh Dopeman! We are gonna have some good times tonight! Glad to see you got the supplies” Mark rasps.

“Oh man, pass me one of those! I can’t ‘cough’ sto ‘cough’ p choking from this new bud.” laments Kobe.

“Damn Mark, you got some good shit? A good hook-up this time?” Vals asks.

“Yea man, Kobe’s boy came through. Was a little short, but dude this shit is horseshoes and clovers good! Hahah,” Mark says.

“Yea man let me try that blunt, then. Don’t be a shyster, parcero.” jokes Val as he reaches over the table.

“Thats cool dude. Kobe looks like he is lampin’ for the rest of the night haha…. So I think this is the plan. Val has some chicas flying in from home. They have a place close to the beach, maybe a pool? So we will go scoop them up, come back here for some preparedness. Then van to some spot. Maybe some club. But def trying for a pool party late night,” James proposes with a double thumbs up and a shrug.

 Kobe’s roommate Mike, always self-confident and with a coozie, shimmies over from next door offering an outstretched low five.

“Ah dudes, you got the goods for sure! You gonna skinny dip later, like at the beach last week? Hahah,” Mark pokes.

“Whatever, man. I was drinking vodka crans with the girls, and my boardshorts fell off in the waves. I didn’t see anyone complaining…. Ok I wasn’t seeing much of anything that whole day. Hahah! Anyways, did you pitch in for beer this time?” James says straightforwardly.

“Yeah I always pay… Or give extra cash the next time.” defends Mike.

“Well you didn’t last time, or even last week, so just checking,” James replies.

“Hey man, what time do you want to go out later?” Asks Kobe.

“Maybe like 10-10:30. They have drink specials for girl at Hard Rock. One time, Megan gave me one of her free ones and the security grabbed that Rum and Coke right out of my hands. Like 15 seconds top haha!” Val laughs.

“Man you gotta just share it and she holds it! Amateur Hour over here,” James shakes his head.

“Yea mannnnn haha. I don’t know if I am mobile tonight, I don’t think I can get up for a while. I’m so faded…. Wake me up if I fall asleep out here,” Kobe says, remembering the time everyone went to the beach, locked the doors and woke him up at 4AM with a communal shot.

“Ok Val, let’s put this case in the freezer and bounce.” James says finishing his Corona.

“You want to hit this? Its reeeeally good,” Val giggles.

“Naw man, you know I don’t smoke and drive. I’m still feeling it from the beach, anyways. Haha… You don’t even know where this place is. We gotta check that tourist map,” James says.

“Yeah, you check it. My brain is taking a siesta right now…” Val squints and grins.

They pass out a few more brews, even to skint-ass Mike and grab the Malt icebergs and giant plastic squeezy handles.

The kitchen is much quieter than during the Iron -ic Chef competition, where seesaw dull knives were swinging between tomatoes for pico de gallo and a burros-worth of limes for dranks. Everyone was sasiating there salivary glands after the long day on sand. The usually crammed fridge was trolling for  some Air BnB’s as most of the BBQ sauces, Texas Pete’s and the aloof ranch were postin for a fortnight. A figurative cornucopia of veggies was 1/2 chopped, 1/6 turned and ⅓ defrosted. That back of the fridge can be cooler than a polar bear’s toenail.

“Yayyyyy!” was enthusiastically shouted in stuffed face unison.

“Hey what took so long, guys?” Sara squeaked out, half a sloppy-joe looking burrito in her vice grip.

“You know James had to butter the cupcake. The juice is loose! Ahhaha I just thought of that. I need to write it down!” Val laughs in almost falsetto.

“Bitch, shut up! Yeah I was chatting with girl working at 7. She always hooks it up. So ask Val to go next time. Yep!” says James pointing at the cases.

“Hahaha yeah Valentino. You go!” Megan jokes at her now sheepish looking boyfriend.

“Ok here are the 2 Captains. Put this one case of beer in your room Megan. Val’s laaaaaadies… need some. Wink. Wink. Haha. We can put everything else in the fridge.” James says.

Shila busts out laughing and Carley starts to poke Megan in the side.

“Carly quit it!” Megan gasps, holding Carly’s wrists now.

“Val better be a good boy, right Val….. We have tickets to go to Maui, but I can just take Shy.” threatens Megan.

“I know these girls. They won’t be laying down anywhere. They drink Tequila like coffee. Haha. Don’t worry babe,” soothes Val.

“Ok player, get that case, and help me,” James asks.  

The freezer was half full with about 9 gangrene, about to burst roadies. These already had their asses blown out, so they could only roll on the Formica. The Captain and a few new hires were granted Ice Bar VIP. The rest, cheese drawered.

“Hey where did these Budweisers come from?” says Val.

“Oh my God! We forgot to tell you!! Noelani saw those Chinese students outside with this case of beer. They were looking for you James!!” Sara blurts out.

“What?!? Those kids who stopped to watch me and Mark skateboard over that fucking exercise bike! No way!” James says in disbelief.

“Yeah they were looking for you to give you the beer, because they were happy to meet you and liked hanging out here.” Sara replies.

“Thats crazy! They watched us kickflip that old janky thing Mark found in one of the rooms. I said come party with us some night. They really bought this? Are you serious?” James asks wide eyed.

“Who knows? Maybe that's what they do in China? Hahah! Let’s go there Shy!!” Megan laughs.

“I think they really didn’t understand English! Only the two kids were talking and everybody else was giggling…… Wait! Are they coming back?!?” James asks excitedly.“ That would be amazing and so funny!! We can take them to the clubs!!” Val says.

“Wow! So fun… But we should not drink the Budweiser just in case. Only at the end if they don’t come.” states James.

Everyone starts laughing and speculating what they would do if they came. Plans and arrangements start to get absurd. There is a soft knock on the door. A faint whiff of CK One and  super expensive conditioner waft into the salsa and cerveza clima. James’ smile and buzz percolate into a gum flashing smile. A “Hello Nicole.” wafts out before he starts to turns around.   

She is a vision, part Yahweh’s angel and part Victoria’s angel. Straight blond locks, always a few flyaways, curtain calls her collar bone. Perfect GMO Cali whites. A smile as big as her heart. Refractive mute pink lip gloss that says I like what I like. A plunging neckline that repels to a taut tummy. Some tiny amputated dungarees that shape and lift things that don’t need it. She is that Cali girl with a brain and that laugh.        

 “Hey sweetie! I thought you went to pick up Val’s friends. I was a little jealous.” Nikki says feigning a pout.

“Noooo. I was waiting for you before, and we just went on a seven run…. Jealous about what?” James asks.

“Well Liz and I have the flight to Maui in a few hours, so you will be with these new girls the whole weekend.” Nikki frowns.

“Yeah we can’t go out with you the flight is at 10. So we are already packed.” Liz says.

Liz is about the totally atithetical model of Nik. Unruly brown curls act as a mane for soft Italianese features. Big brown eyes that only come up to Nik’s shoulders. Curvy and opinionated, she is the more rational and conservative or the pair. She also has a boyfriend back at Notre Dame, which does not preclude some topless wilding. 100% They will be on that flight, sauced or not. She starts asking Val about calling Taxis.

Nikki comes inside and kisses James and clasps her arms are his thin waist.  

“Baby you know you don’t have to worry about me. I think I’ll never meet someone like you, like never ever.” quotes James as he gets those familiar butterfly feels.

“I trust you about girls, but I worry that you will get really wild. I know you want to show them a crazy party.” Nikki brow furrows.

“I know sometimes I get too excited and do crazy things. You are trying to help me and I really want to do it for both of us.” James confesses.

“Yes I know. You are like my kid. Haha. I have Megan watching you and Val. He makes you more wild.” Nikki squints. “Do not drive the scooter tonight… I mean it!”

“Well we have to pick those girls up now. I’m fine to drive. And anyways, we are taking a taxi babe. So really don’t worry. Just call me right when you land.” James asks.

“Ok. We are staying in a really nice hotel. I wish you were sleeping next to me not Liz.” Nikki pines.

“We will plan a trip here and we will ask Shy to borrow her car and camp on the beach for some days. Just us. No Liz. No Val.” James grins.

“Hahah you are joking, right. She will never. She already thinks we stole her car and had lots of sex in it.” says Nikki in disbelief.

“Oh man. Yeah they were mad for days… I shouldn’t have told them I took it to the beach not the store. With you. Hahaha.” James says.

“It was amazing with the full moon and no clothes! Don’t worry we will do something when I’m back Honey.” Nikki reminices.

“Ok baby, I think we have to go soon. I’ll be a gentleman. Promise! I’m going to miss you so much. Your cuddles.” says James with a puppy dog face.  

“I was missing you in the shower. Mmmm. I know you will be good because of what I’m going to do when I’m back.” Nikki whisper in his ears. A little parting bite to remember her by.

“Exactly, I’ll be in the bed when you walk in…. With flower petals everywhere!” James promises.

They hug tight and kiss deep, until Val and Liz shouts “Soooooo gross! Get a room!”

Like that, they go their separate ways. Liz and Nikki to take their luggage and call a taxi. Val and James to grab their bike keys and jet. They rendezvous at James’ door and walk to the bikes.They are already late but firmly on Aloha Time, so no rush. They saddle up and walk the bikes back.

“Val are you ok to go? You smoked a lot of that kush. We should go slow.” James advises.

“Haha yea… That stuff was good. I think it will be like Playstation driving there haha. I‘m straight dude, but you def need to find the hotel. I’m just gonna follow you bro.” Val says lackadaisical.

The taillights fade.