#and most importantly i do NOT wanna wake up at 6am for 5 days a week for the next 40/50 years i do NOT wanna be a zombie for most of my life
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ducksbuttocks · 3 months ago
Text
also i'm in my mid 20s now i'm old enough to have this figured out. i simply have to accept that my ideal job is either self employment or working in one of those public administration offices where they give you a thousand benefits and a single daily 10 minute task that you just have to pretend takes you from 9 to 5 to finish. or ideally both at the same time so that i can have a lot of money to buy a million books and also take the whole month of august off <3
3 notes · View notes
twinklecheeks · 4 years ago
Text
Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 11
Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.
Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  
Side note: Sorry it took me over a week to post this! I just started my last semester of college and I also have a part time job, so I’ve been super tired. I’ll try to be more consistent.
Warnings! Pregnancy, Smut 
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,
Word Count: 2k
Christmas Eve 12/24/2019
Y/n: *Wakes up and stares at Jeff peacefully sleeping*
Jeff: *moans*
Y/n: *looks down and notices Jeff has a boner* Hmmm *gently rubs the swollen tip of Jeff’s cock*
Jeff: *thrusts into y/n’s hand*
Y/n: *Smirks and quietly gets out of bed to lock the door* *Pulls Jeff’s boxer’s down and sees his cock slap against his abs* *Softly licks the base of his Jeff’s cock all the way to the tip and sucks the head*
Jeff: *moans* mmm fuck.
Y/n: *You use the entirety of your palms and fingers with just how big and long he is. You hum greedily as you do this*
Jeff: *wakes up and smirks* I guess it’s a very Merry Christmas to me.
Y/n: I can suck on your cock all day daddy *winks*
Jeff: *groaning at how fast you’re going* F-fuck baby the way you’re moaning. You’re gonna kill me *bucks his hips*
Y/n: Shhh, I don't want them to know I’m sucking your cock ;) *continues to deepthroat feeling him twitch*
Jeff: Oh my fucking god baby yesss. Fuck me, fuck me, over and over. I swear I’d be fucking you every nigh- JESUS FUCK *cums inside her mouth*
Y/n: *swallows and sucks his cock clean* That was a great way to start Christmas.
Jeff: *laughs* Me cumming in you?
Y/n: *smirks* Mhmmm, I love it when you’re in me ;)
Jeff: What time is it?
Y/n: It’s 7:42am. I think your mom is already up cooking.
Jeff: Well if you want to see the Christmas parade at 11 w/ Jonah’s family, round 2 in the shower has to be a quickie.
Y/n: *looks down at his cock* You’re still hard? You just came a bunch in my mouth.
Jeff: I’m always hard for you babe *winks*
*After the Christmas Parade*
Suzie: I loved the parade! New York is so pretty during Christmas.
Vardon: Christmas is also more fun w/ snow.
Jonah: Guys it was fucking freezing outside.
Y/n: It was only 38 degrees.
Jeff’s mom: Oh good you guys are back. Marie (Jonah’s mom) and I are almost done with the food.
Jeff: Ma you’ve been cooking since like 6am. Have you had a break?
Jeff’s mom: We also did some last minute shopping/ gift wrapping. Everybody gets to open one present today and the rest tomorrow.
Y/n: You guys open presents tomorrow?
Jeff’s dad: Yeah, doesn’t everybody?
Y/n: Well in the Hispanic/ Latinx community, we call today Hispanic Christmas. So we open our presents today and then we spend the 25th stuffing our faces in left overs. We open on the 24th cause we’re too impatient and yes, we know Jesus was born on the 25th.
Jeff: Maybe we can do that w/ the girls next year.
Jeff’s mom: *tears up* Oh god you’re going to have daughter’s next year.
Jeff: Maaaa don’t cry again.
Y/n: Oh we are definitely doing hispanic christmas. If my sister comes over, she’d want to open the presents like a week before. She’s the most impatient. One year, she opened presents at like 3-4pm.
Jeff’s mom: I’m such a cry baby. Now help me set up the table!
*everybody helps set the plates and food*
Jeff’s dad: does anybody want to start the prayer?
Jeff: I’ll do it.
Karyn: Really? The last time you did it was Easter 2005 and you couldn’t stop laughing.
Jeff’s mom: Karyn.
*everybody holds hands*
Jeff: oh Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you’ve brought us. I know that Christmas is about you but I’d like to say thanks. Thank you for keeping everybody here in good health because I don’t know where I’d be w/ out them. I’m grateful for the supportive family and friends you have given me and most importantly, y/n. I know we were very rocky until recently but you brought her into my life for a reason. She was changing me into a better person and I was too stubborn to accept it. Now she’s going to be the mother of my 2 amazing daughters. Those babies already have me wrapped around their fingers and they’re not even here yet. I can’t wait for the day y/n and I get married and have however many babies you give us but don’t make it twins each time cause that’s gonna make my hair gray fast
Jeff’s mom: Jeffrey-
Jeff: okay I’m just kidding… kind of but you know what I mean. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and the rest of my family. Amen.
Everybody: Amen
Jeff’s dad: Hun are you crying?
Y/n: *sniffles her nose* NO. Maybe…. I wouldn't have thought Jeff was religious.
Karyn: Only during Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.
Jeff’s Dad: Karyn stop teasing your brother. Now that the prayer is over with, let’s eat!
Jeff’s mom: Marie and I spent all morning cooking. Also, since this is y/n’s first Christmas w/ us, I wanted to bring some of the food she eats during the holidays.
Y/n: What food?
Jeff’s mom: *shows the Pernil* (pernil is pork shoulder)
Y/n: NO YOU DIDN’T *tastes the food* AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE OUT MY DAD MAKES IT. How did you make it?!
Jeff: She asked me a couple of days ago what you eat during the holidays and I found your sister on instagram. I got the recipe from her.
Jeff’s mom: I saw that it was a Puerto Rican dish so I asked one of my friends who knows how to make it to show me the steps.
Y/n: Oooo imma try not to cry again but THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Jonah: Can we eat now
After Dinner
Y/n: I ate so much, I think I’m having triplets. But thank you once again. I was pretty nervous to come here because I didn’t know how y’all would react to me.
Karyn: Just know that when we get mad, it’s at Jeff cause he’s always the one that somehow messes up.
Jeff: What time is it?
Suzie: It’s 7pm. Should we watch Christmas movies and then open presents before bed?
Vardon: Let’s watch the Grinch
Jonah: *ignores Vardon* Any other suggestions? Please. ANY OTHER.
Karyn: Y/n what do you watch for Christmas.
Y/n: Well, my personal favorite is Jingle all the Way but the Christmas Line up in my family is usually Home Alone 2, A Diva’s Christmas Carol, A Very Brady Christmas, the I Love Lucy Christmas episode and other’s I can’t remember.
Jeff: I mean, we are in New York. Home Alone 2?
Everybody: Sure.
*After watching Christmas movies*
Jeff’s mom: It’s 9:45pm. I think we should be opening our one present before we go to bed.
Jeff: Youngest to oldest! So my niece goes first, then Vardon, Y/n, Suzie, Jonah, etc.
*Jeff’s nieces and Vardon opens their gifts*
Vardon: No way. Jeff got me airpods! Thank you *Hugs Jeff*
Jeff: You’re welcome. Now time for y/n to open her gift from me.
Y/n: Oooo okay. *opens gift and sees two little gold bracelets* what are these for?
Jeff: I always see babies w/ the small little charm bracelet. You mentioned your sister and you never got that from your parents but your older brother did. I wanted to do that for our girls even though they're not here yet. So once we pick out the names, we’ll get the charms.
Y/n: *sniffles* Dammit why do you keep making me cry.
Jeff: Cause I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you.
Jonah: Can we move on from this sappy shit so I can open my gift.
Everybody: JONAH.
*After everybody opens their presents*
Y/n: Thank you so much for accepting me on such short notice.
Jeff’s mom: Hun we’re family now. You’ll always be a part of us. Same for the Antonyans. We know how much Jeff misses having us around since he’s been living in LA and y’all have been a family to him.
Jonah’s mom: I love Jeff like he my own son. He help us so much.
Jeff’s Dad: Y’all just have to make sure to visit us often. Get’s kind of lonely here w/ Karyn living in Kentucky, Jeff living in LA. I mean Steven lives in the city w/ his kids but we miss having all of you together here.
Jeff: I’m starting to think that having girls runs in the family. Karyn has a daughter, Steven has twin girls and now I’m gonna have twin girls.
Jeff’s mom: I mean you never know if the nurse made a mistake. They thought your brother was a girl for half my pregnancy. Then they did the last ultrasound a week before I gave birth to him and they said he was a boy.
Y/n: Oh god I don’t even want to think about that. I’m already stressed out about the babies possibly being deaf now I gotta be worried if the nurse misgendered them….
Karyn: The babies are gonna be deaf?
Y/n: Hmm?
Jeff’s dad: You just said there’s a possibility the twins will be born deaf.
Y/n: Fuck. I did say that, didn't I… Jeff, you wanna help me out here?
Jeff: Ummm. Damn we weren’t planning on telling anybody this for a couple of weeks. We got a call a couple of days ago after we did some genetic testing and the doctor said the babies have a high chance of being born hard of hearing/ deaf.
Karyn: My doctors told me the same thing. Luckily my daughter turned out fine
Steven: I wasn’t a carrier for the gene…
Jeff’s mom: We’ll love those babies no matter what. If we have to learn sign language for them, then we’d do it. I’ll fly out to LA once it gets close to the due date to help out.
Jeff: Thanks ma. Means a lot.
Y/n: Thank you so much. I don’t know if my own parents would forgive me by then to be there for the birth.
Jeff’s mom: Anytime sweetheart. My god look at the time, It’s 10:15, we have to go to bed before Santa comes.
Jonah: Haha, but santa isn-
Jeff: Jonah you better better not finish that sentence cause my nieces are here and I don’t wanna see the magic ruined for them.
Jonah: What I was saying was, isn't Santa a little late?… He should’ve been here by now…
Going to bed
Y/n: I am so stuffed. Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought.
Jeff: See, you had nothing to be afraid about. Also, good job on keeping the deaf thing a secret haha.
Y/n: Hey! It’s been on my mind since we found out. WAIT. Jonah and Suzie.
Jeff: What about them?
Y/n: they were there…. What if they tell everybody else.
Jeff: Suzie would never… Jonah on the other hand… I have little faith in him.
Y/n: I’m afraid to check my phone.
Jeff: Same. I haven't looked at it all day. On the count of 3…
Y/n: One….
Jeff: Two.
Y/n & Jeff: Three. *looks at phones*
Y/n’s phone: 82 text messages & 24 missed calls
Jeff’s phone: 77 text messages & 21 missed calls
Vlog Squad GC
David: Was what Jonah said true?
Natalie: Is it serious?
Jason: Y’all I’m so sorry
Zane: There has to be a way to fix it. My babies will be okay right?
Erin: I’ll postpone my wedding until the babies are okay
Carly: Oh no Carly and Erin jr :(
Corinna: The babies are gonna be deaf?
Mariah: Is it confirmed?
Heath: Have y’all seen other doctors?
Matt: Guys they’re busy. I don’t think we should be spamming them on Christmas.
Toddy: We’ll stop one they answer us!
David: I’ll put in whatever money you need for surgeries or anything.
Jason: Guys stop. They’ll tell us everything once they’re ready.
(end of conversation)
Jeff: I’m gonna kill Jonah.
Y/n: Oh hun, so will I…
The next chapter might take a bit because I’m still thinking what will be in it. You guys can give be suggestions and I can give you credit for it!
Comment if you want to be on the taglist!
Taglist: @elvlogsquad​ @siemprestan​ @zavidzobrik​ @galxydefender​ @iminlovewithenchilidadas​ @ilsolee​ @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler  @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes
132 notes · View notes