#and merlin putting making Arthur bray like a donkey?

[fuckingfandomfreak]

Just read a fic about the Hunter’s Heart and had to find a gif post just to rant about it

I’m about to get controversial.

Merlin is so completely awful here and the fact that no one ever points it out is insane. Fandom stop sucking Merlin off challenge. (It’s not sucking off actually it’s woobifying and that’s so much worse honestly) Arthur gets frequent criticism for his treatment of Merlin but Merlin never gets ANY.

First, why does no one mention the fact that Merlin has the AUDACITY to act offended that Arthur kept a secret from him???? Like wtf do you do everyday Merlin? And while Merlin’s magic does actually affect Arthur (Merlin frequently ENCHANTS Arthur) who Arthur marries is literally NONE of Merlin’s business. If you want to argue that Merlin doesn’t owe Arthur any of his secrets, then grant Arthur the same courtesy.

And then Merlin’s insane, out-of-fucking-line pressuring Arthur to take back his CHEATING FIANCÉ. Merlin thinks Gwen cheated on her own volition, and he still INSISTS Arthur needs to get back with her. He literally does not care what Arthur feels. This is like the only time where I actually thought that Merlin cared more about his destiny than he did about Arthur bc if he actually did care about Arthur, he would not WANT Arthur to get back with someone that betrayed him and broke his heart. I would literally be losing my mind if my friend tried to do that.

Of course, Arthur threatened to banish him. In what world is what Merlin’s saying not just fucking shitty??? Like why are you rubbing it in his face that he still loves a woman that cheated on him??? This conversation right here would’ve broken any trust i had in Merlin if I was Arthur. Merlin never once showed any real sympathy for Arthur’s broken heart, he only cared Gwen was supposed to be queen. Even in 4x09, Merlin is asking Arthur if he can find it in himself to forgive Gwen.

Not to mention Merlin’s angry expression. And let me fucking tell you why he’s angry. It’s bc Merlin feels just as entitled to Arthur as Arthur does to Merlin. Arthur cannot keep secrets from Merlin that’s ridiculous. Arthur cannot keep emotions from Merlin that’s RIDICULOUS. Anything Arthur has ever thought or felt is Merlin’s to opine over. Arthur wants privacy—and Arthur gives Merlin privacy ALL THE TIME—but Merlin does not allow that. Merlin is not only mad bc Arthur dared to make a decision about his heart WITHOUT Merlin (and how tf could Arthur know own heart obviously?) but Merlin DISAGREES about the decision Arthur made.

Merlin is literally just furious bc he thinks he’s right and he thinks Arthur is wrong when Merlin honestly, rationally has no fucking leg to stand on. Arthur didn’t ASK Merlin for his opinion, and who Arthur marries is Arthur’s business.

Why do people act like Arthur fucking beat Merlin bloody? All he did was tell Merlin to either mind his own fucking business or they’re done.

Usually, I love Merlin’s toxicity and entitlement. I find it just as enjoyable as Arthur’s. But I can’t stand that people act like Arthur’s an abusive, narcissistic asshole that doesn’t realize he needs to worship the ground St. Merlin walks on when Merlin is manipulative, gaslighting, and just as entitled to Arthur’s entire life: Merlin decides he should have the final say on all of Arthur’s decisions.

It just fucking drives me nuts. Bc everyone fucking multiples Arthur’s reactions to anything by 1 million. They make Arthur banish him, they make Arthur hit him, and they make Arthur threaten to kill him because without Arthur overreacting, Merlin might actually not be as righteous as we want him to be.

Endless Merthur scenes (6/∞)

[katiecomma]

Hey! For the Fanfic Asks: V, Y and if I may also Z, please? :)

V. Do you prefer writing established relationships or first times?

What a tough question! But I think first times. There is something so satisfying and addictive about first times... especially in a very long running fandom like H50... cause there are some many potential places to add codas and things to episodes that are PERFECT for first times... so the possibilities are ENDLESS... and it’s just SO DAMN SATISFYING.

Y. What is your favorite genre to write? (angst, fluff, pwp, etc.)

Fluffy smut - 100% - sex and intimacy are so tied together for me... and I just love writing those deeply intimate moments that happen when a character gives themselves over completely to someone else.

Z. Post an expert from either your first fic or your most recent one.

Why not a little from column A and a little from column B?

First fic (MacGyver 2016):

Mac was fiddling with a piece of paper in his hands and staring intently at the fire the way he did when he was thinking on something serious, or when he was mad at Jack. No reason for him to be mad at Jack: Mission had been a success.

“What you fiddlin’ with there hoss?” Jack asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees.

Mac flicked the paper with his hand and let the letter unfold until it was backlit by the fire and easy to read.

Jack sat back. She didn’t. She wouldn’t. “Now hold on,” Jack said, suddenly serious. “Just you wait a minute-”

“What the hell is this?” Mac asked, holding the letter closer to Jack, but still staring into the fire.

“Come on now, Riley wasn’t supposed to give you that,” Jack said, his face flush with embarrassment mixed with anger. What was that girl thinking? Just before Jack had run headlong into that gunfire in Istanbul, he’d taken out the letters he kept tucked inside his vest and given them to Riley. He’d been very clear in his instruction: if he didn’t come back, she should hand them out. There was one for each of them: Mac, Riley, Matty and Bozer. Bozer’s was pretty sparse, there wasn’t much left unsaid between them, but he didn’t want the poor guy left out. It had been a long time since he’d been in a situation where he thought those letters would be put to use. Mac almost always got them out of wherever before Jack even considered handing them out.

Jack’s face went serious as he looked at the letter. He hadn’t read it for a while, but there it was, staring him in the face. Phrases like: “since I stayed with you in Afghanistan” “the number of times I almost watched you die” “sharing my life with you,” all jumped out at him.

Last fic (Merlin BBC TV Series):

“Merlin?” Arthur asked, sitting up a little and putting a strong hand to Merlin's throat to steady him. “Are you alright?” Genuine concern, not playing anymore.

Merlin tried to fight the emotions welling in him, and take their love back to a playful place. It was too late for love, it was the hour for passion. He grinned and tried to make it mischievous. “Course,” he said, covering Arthur’s hand with his own and squeezing it lightly.

“You sure you’re feeling alright?” Arthur asked seriously, sitting up fully and putting the back of his other hand to Merlin’s forehead. “You look a little love sick to me.” The smile broke halfway through the sentence, Arthur unable to hold it back to make full impact of his joke.

“No, not at all,” Merlin laughed, “I was just remembering that time you were a donkey is all, and thought: And I’m going to kiss that?”

Arthur frowned through his laughter and tackled Merlin into the soft mattress, looming over him. “I wasn’t entirely a donkey, alright?” He clarified. “It was just the ears.”

“And the braying,” Merlin said, “let’s not forget the braying. I know I’ll never be able to.”

“Merlin?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

[tlcyellow]

merlin s3 ep3: goblin’s gold

ya girl is BACK

- omg the geoffrey the librarian is back. love that bitch and he’s super unhelpful. merlin’s like “i need this books” and he’s like “it’s in the east wing. no idea where lol” and makes no attempt to get up and help him look

- merlin has triggered a secret entryway into a spooky back room of the library and has accidently released a hideous cgi goblin voiced by arthur weasley

- the goblin is causing a tremendous amount of chaos and he’s running around and smashing things and ransacking arthur’s room looking for something? i presume gold just based on the title of the episode

- bradley james is FINE! how i could i have left him for so long?

- damn uther is still alive? what a disappointment. though its a bit of a consolation to know that the goblin caused him to lose his hair and he looks like a hard boiled egg

- we get SHIRTLESS BRADLEY JAMES IN THIS EPISODE?? YESSS

- merlins trying to sneak into arthurs room to steal gold to tempt the goblin and arthur wakes up so he enchants his bed hanging to fall on top of him and there’s like a full thirty seconds of arthur wandering around unable to see and flinging a sword everywhere and its hilarious 

- lol okay the goblin has possessed gaius and gauis is licking gold and throwing shit everwhere and merlin’s like “wow gaius is sure acting weird lol i wonder whats up??” what an idiot

- lmao this episode is fucking crazy. not as crazy as the episode where uther fucked a troll though so i will give it a pass

- lmao there’s a montage of goblin gaius ineffectively treating patients. he makes one man with a broken rib yell a series of nonsense words and then pauses for a long time and finally announces “he’s certain to die” and i laughed out loud lmao

- LMAO now goblin gaius is “curing” uther’s baldness by slapping him repeatedly over the head and i laughed out loud again. what an iconic episode. fuck uther.

- UTHER IS WEARING THE UGLIEST HAT IVE EVER SEEN TO COVER HIS BALDNESS IN FRONT OF THE COURT AND IM CRYING 

- goblin gaius told geoffrey the librarian to, quote, “lose some weight fatty”. what is this episode

- oh man merlin is being accused of causing all of the afflictions in the palace through magic. damn this boy gets accused of magic and gets away with it so often for someone who is actually a wizard. he tries to expose gaius as a goblin but obviously no one believes him. 

- LEON IS HERE HOLY SHIT. HE HAD SO MANY LINES OF DIALOGUE IM SO PROUD 

- damn merlin is really using magic to escape after being put in jail for using magic. bold move.

- katie mgrath is beautiful btw. i haven’t mentioned it yet and i needed to throw that in there.

- aw gwen still has feelings for arthur. cute. 

- ARTHUR DID BELIEVE MERLIN and he finds out the truth about gaius. what a supportive bf.

- GOBLIN GAIUS GAVE ARTHUR DONKEY EARS AND HE CAN ONLY BRAY INSTEAD OF TALKING WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON 

- merlin of course thinks this is the funniest thing in the world. i do too.

- damn okay so merlin has to kill gaius briefly in order to get the goblin out of him. im sure this is gonna go great

- leon had MORE LINES YES BBY

- wow okay so the goblin has been trapped but all of the potion bottles fell on the floor  and gwen and merlin have to frantially search to find the antitode to revive gaius. he’s not waking up and merlin yells “COME ON YOU STUBBORN OLD GOAT” which, personally, is not something i would say if one of my loved ones was actively dying in front of me. 

- gaius clears merlins name in the court and all is well and good

- gwen and arthur had the most awkward conversation in the hallway wow guys get a room 

- ohmygod arthur is still braying occasionally. imagine if he did that for the rest of the show

next episode: gwaine

[thedaughterofkings]

12

12. Your most scandalous headcanon for your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’m gonna go with Merthur for the current OTP (you know why^^), and scandalous made me think of gossip mags and I’m so bad with headcanons because they usually just manifest as fics, sooooo here’s a little modern royalty AU for you?

BABY IN THE BUCK’?

Scandalous pics of the royal couple reveal it all

Merlin slaps the gossip mag Arthur kindly delivered along with his tea face-down onto the table with a groan. He’d thought he’d gotten used to the gossip and speculations and the paps, but somehow they always manage to outdo themselves and take him by surprise. But now this? “Baby in the Buck’?” What is that even supposed to mean? Whose baby?? Merlin sneaks a look at Arthur, but Arthur is just badly hiding a grin behind his cup of coffee and Merlin knows that Arthur is not going to help satisfy his curiosity. Ungraciously, he thinks that that’s the real scandal the gossip rags should focus on: The King of England (and Scotland and the rest of the UK and Australia and everything else the merciless tutor that tortured Merlin before he was deemed ready to marry said King forced down Merlin’s throat) prefers a cup of coffee in the morning instead of good, old English Breakfast, or even Earl Grey.

But nope, they prefer to focus on babies. Non-existent babies, because Merlin would know if there were any new babies in Buckingham Palace, right? Right?? Arthur’s decidedly smug grin that not even The Times can hide does not fill Merlin with confidence. But all his silent pleading achieves is Arthur raising his newspaper higher and saying: “Just read it, Merlin, and stop stalling.”

With a sigh, Merlin gives in and picks the gossip magazine back up, quickly flipping away from his own face staring at him from the front page. It has become a sort of ritual between them: whenever the rags come up with something particularly absurd, Arthur will pick up a copy for Merlin and delight in Merlin’s disbelief and pain while reading it. Merlin’s revenge is usually to find the latest gossip mag to gush about Arthur’s abs and butt and watch Arthur’s face turn crimson while reading it. He has a feeling that he will need to find one that goes into a lot of detail on abs and butt, and speculates about the family jewels (nope, not the ones on display in the Tower) to make up for the atrocities he will be subjected to today.

The article itself is going by the trusted “a picture says more than a thousand words”, three pictures blown up as much as possible dominating the two page spread, with a few lines of text squeezed in between and a row of smaller pictures beneath. One is a very unflattering side shot of Merlin sticking his belly out, his eyes half shut, probably caught mid-blink. So far so not good, but the caption makes it a thousand times worse: “Royal Consort showing off his baby bum. Friends close to the couple say the King is so overjoyed that he has kept him up long each night, ‘celebrating’. 😉” Yes, they actually put a winky face in the caption. Merlin truly worries for the state of the nation sometimes.

The second pic is of Arthur hugging Merlin from behind, Arthur’s hands on Merlin’s still protruding stomach, his head tilted to whisper something into his ear. It all looks admittedly very romantic, but Merlin clearly remembers that moment, because he’d been complaining about having eaten too much cake and Arthur’s whispers certainly hadn’t been romantic, going more along the ‘keep eating cake and I’ll switch you out for a younger and thinner model’. Merlin can’t decide whether to be relieved or disappointed that the paps hadn’t caught him stomping on Arthur’s foot just a moment later. The caption for this pic is tooting into the same horn, anyways, talking about Merlin’s “pregnancy glow” and how doting the new father to be was, carefully cradling his unborn child. Merlin shakes his head in disbelief and ignores the dying walrus sounds coming from Arthur’s side of the table, a sure sign of Arthur (badly) holding back his laughter.

The last picture takes the cake, though. It’s a close-up of Merlin’s chest, his nipples on full display through his too thin dress-shirt, the caption shouting: “BRA-ve! Sensitive and full glands sure sign of male baby, experts say. Better start wearing a bra though before the royal milk starts flowing!” Merlin gapes silently, shocked speechless by the utter ridiculousness of it all before exclaiming: “It was cold! And you got me that shirt!”

That seems to be the last draw for Arthur, who stops trying to hold back his laughter and starts braying like a donkey. Merlin’s eyes narrow suspiciously before the realisation dawns on him: “YOU got me that shirt! You planned for this!”

Arthur shakes his head and breathlessly squeezes out between peals of laughter: “I might have hoped for something, but I sure didn’t plan for this. They really outdid themselves, didn’t they?”

Merlin shakes his head again, staring back down at the atrocity on shelves everywhere in the UK now, and finally can’t take it anymore: “How did they even come up with this? How did they get this to print? How did no one stop this? I’m a man! I can’t even get pregnant!!”

That proves to be too much for Arthur who has to hold onto the table to keep himself from falling off his chair from laughing too hard. Merlin tries to keep up his glare, but he can already feel the corner of his mouth twitching upwards and it doesn’t take long before his laughter joins Arthur’s, the whole thing too absurd to stay seriously mad.

Revenge is a dish best serve cold, though, and Merlin knows exactly the trousers he’ll have Arthur wear in the future, that will get the family jewels the attention they deserve.

Fandom Meme - send me numbers!

(and see, if you play ask games with me, you might even get ficlets! :DD)

[katherynefromphilly]

✓   Have Merlin moan Arthur’s name in bed while unconscious

✓   Have Arthur moan Merlin’s name in a cave while unconscious

✓   Have Arthur put Merlin on his knees in the bedroom in the courtyard

✓   Put Arthur and Merlin in bondage in a net suspended in the air

✓   Have Arthur threaten Merlin with a black fisting glove

✓   Have Merlin pull Arthur’s pants trousers down in front of his Council

✓   Reinact the “Something About Mary” come-in-her-hair scene Have Merlin let Arthur go outside with a mysterious substance in Arthur’s hair that Sir Leon thinks is “stew”

✓   Turn Arthur into a mindless sub Simpleton and have Merlin boss him around

✓   Have Merlin make Arthur bray like a donkey in bed

✓   Have Merlin and Arthur introduce themselves to each other in the first episode while Arthur has Merlin’s arm yanked behind his back with Arthur’s chest pressed against Merlin’s backside

You know, I think I’ll stop with that last one, because really it set the tone for the whole relationship.  I mean, apologies to op but humiliating each other was actually part of their whole thing.  They were assholes to each other a lot -- they loved each other too -- but man, if you ever find yourself writing Arthur and Merlin as fluffy boyfriends who are kind to each other?  That’s OOC my friend.

[vivoltron]

Oh OH NO WAIT!!!! YOU KNOW THAT EPISODE OF MERLIN WHERE ARTHUR GETS DONKEY EARS AND STARTS BRAYING AND HE'S SULKING IN HIS ROOM AND GWEN IS LIKE "aw poor baby" I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE EDITS BUT SOMEONE SHOULD PUT KEITH'S HEAD ON ARTHUR