#and maybe we'll make french toast...

[robindaydream]

Spent the whole day making some challah for the new year! Shanah tovah!

[plussizefantasia]

CozyTober Day 8: Apple Cider Donuts

Dad!Steve Rogers x Mom!reader

This is a continuation of Pumpkin Patch from last year's Flufftober Event

WC: 1.3k

warnings: none, just pure sweetness

an: we're all going to collectively agree not to mention the fact that I'm like a week behind in posting these, but I'm actively caffeinated and on a roll so we'll see how long that stays true

Your family didn’t have a whole lot of traditions growing up, and Steve’s mom tried her best but it was hard balancing work and a sick son, especially during the depression. That just meant that the traditions you made with Caleb were just that much more special.

Last year the three of you made the trip to Henderson Orchard for their fall activities. You had spent the whole day watching your son have fun and fawning over your husband and how amazing of a father he is. You carved up your pumpkins and thus began a new family tradition.

Caleb is six now and despite the fact that he is adamant that he is a ‘big boy’ now, he’s still your little man and you still want to take him out for a fun day together. Finally, the weather cooled down enough that it felt “fall-ish” enough to make the trip. 

You made French toast for breakfast with some chopped strawberries and vanilla yogurt and waited patiently for your boys to wake up and amble their way downstairs. Steve used to be an early riser, years of military service and the need for a strict regime made his internal clock kickstart hours before your own. A life of domesticity had dulled that clock and now it wasn’t as rare for you to wake up before your husband.  

Steve was the first of your boys to join you in the kitchen though, taking the mug of coffee from your outstretched hand and placing a kiss on your shoulder as he passed you. 

“You made breakfast?” He asked.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” you chuckled at him. 

Steve and you enjoyed a few quiet moments together. Both of you are silent, merely enjoying each other's presence. There was a time when you would have tried to fill the silence but after ten years together small talk just didn’t feel needed anymore. 

Your peace is disrupted by the thuds of tiny feet from above you, followed by a creaking door and then even faster thuds down the stairs.

Caleb turned the corner and ran into the kitchen.

“Mom, Dad! I woke up in my room and wanted to tell you about my dream so I ran to your room but you weren’t there which was sad, but then I smelled breakfast so I thought you would be in the kitchen so I ran downstairs and then I found you.” He rushed out in one breath.

“I’m glad you found us, buddy. Do you still want to tell us about your dream?”

“Yes!” He yelled, “I-” He paused, “I forgot it.” He shrugged and plopped down on the stool next to Steve. 

Steve ruffled his hair and placed a plate in front of him. Caleb wasted no time digging into his breakfast and like his father, demolished the food within minutes. 

Soon the three of you were packed into your car and on your way to the Orchard for some fall family fun. 

Caleb spent the entire drive there regaling Steve and yourself all about what his new friend Archie and he get up to on the playground. He told you all about how Archie wasn’t very good at running games or climbing games or games with balls but that he was super funny and “Soooo smart mommy, like smarter than Uncle Tony.” 

As soon as the orchard was in view though, Caleb quickly switched gears, “What are we gonna do this time Dad? Will there be goats like last year? What about the corn pit? The corn pit was fun, though I got corn in my shoe. Are we getting pumpkins again? Are we getting apples? Can we get both? I don’t know how we’ll carry both though. Maybe Daddy and I can take them to the car so we don’t have to carry them. Can I help you carry the apples and pumpkins to the car Dad?” If there was one thing you don’t think you’d ever get tired of, it’s the energy your little boy has. His curiosity knows no bounds and it’s something that Steve and you are doing your best to foster in him.

“Why don’t we look around a little first before making too many plans, okay bud?” Steve said to reel Caleb in and more importantly, to get him to breathe. 

The three of you take a lap around the place, looking at all there is to do and making a game plan for the rest of the day. Caleb and Steve have fun in the Corn pits once again, you help Caleb pet the cows in the barn and all three of you once again pick perfect pumpkins. This year you also check out the apple orchard on the far side of the property and get a large bag on honeycrisps, both to eat and bake with.

While you were over there you noticed a small white cabin-like building with smoke coming out the chimney and other people trailing in and out. You pat Steve on his shoulder and nod your head in the direction of the building.

“Why don���t you boys take the apples back to the car while I check this place out and then we can meet back at the tables near the corn maze to check in?” 

“Okay, Mommy,” Caleb yells before giving your leg the quickest hug in the world and then grabbing his father’s hand and pulling him off in another direction. 

You chuckle and head towards the building. 

When you get inside you’re met with a woosh of warm air and a spectacular smell. Looking around you see this place is absolutely full of all kinds of baked goods stacked on tables, along with a bustling kitchen team behind the counter kneading, icing, and plating all kinds of amazing culinary creations. 

You smile to yourself and step towards the counter, wanting to get a nice treat for your boys.

When you got into view of the tables you had told the boys to meet you at, they were already sitting there and your heart melted a little bit at the sight you witnessed. Caleb sat next to Steve on the bench, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder and Steve’s arm wrapped around Caleb’s back. 

You felt a smile spread across your face and you quickened your pace to get to your little family quicker. 

“Well, aren’t you two just the sweetest?” You asked as soon as you were within hearing distance, both of their head’s perked up and they landed their eyes on you immediately. 

“We don’t have anything on you, Doll.” Steve winked at you and you took a seat across from them.

“You wanna know what else is sweet?” You lifted an eyebrow and looked at Caleb.

“Cotten Candy.” He replied matter-of-factly.

“That is true but I was thinking something a little more substantial.” You laughed and placed the boat of apple cider donuts on the table.

“Donuts!” Caleb yelled and began to practically vibrate in his seat.

“Go ahead, buddy.” Steve looked down at him and nodded his head towards the sweet treat, holding back a laugh when Caleb launched himself at the sugar-covered rings.

The three of you talk and share your treat until they are all gone and when Caleb wobbles his lip and bats his eyelashes at Steve, you all walk back towards the bakery and get more.

Caleb holds his donuts in front of him and walks slightly ahead of Steve and you, the three of you making your way back towards the main thoroughfare.

“So, are we keeping this tradition?” You bump your hip against Steve’s and look up at him when you ask.

He chuckles and pulls you into his side with an arm around your shoulder. His gaze stays locked on Caleb while the little boy ventures forward. “Yeah Hon, this one is for keeps.”

[beebee18]

My life?

Chan x Reader

(Inspired by @cheeseceli )

Super self indulgent (had a dream about it)

Reader speaks English and Hindi. (She's me)

Genre; Major fluff, curious Chan, whipped Chan.

Summary; When Chan feels like he could indulge in nicknames but not Korean or English, something else...

Would LOVE some feedback, it's my first piece to ever be posted on here. Thank you for reading 🎀

Main masterlist skz masterlist

He loved listening to you speak Hindi/Urdu. He thought it sounded sweet from you. True you did speak Hindi softer than English, you just thought that the language is 'softness' personified.

So when you were on your phone with you mom, he sat down beside you smiling to greet you. You smiled back and kept speaking into the phone now thinking to cut the conversation short as Chan was finally home, at 2am mind you.

"Accha maa abhi rakhti hoon, raat ke 2 baj rahe hai idhar." You say into the phone

(Okay mom I'll hang up now, it's 2 at night here.)

"Haa beta, so jaana and tell Chan I said 'Hi'." She says.

(Okay baby, go to sleep...)

"Haa bol doongi, love you." You says lastly, your finger hovering over the screen to end the call.

(Yes, I'll tell him...)

"Love you mere jigar ka tukda." With a kiss into the speaker she hangs up as you turn to face Chan.

He looked at you with awe and a little preplexed.

"Bed?" You asked getting up and stretching, looking at him for response.

"Bed." He nods taking your hand and leading you to cuddle you to death. (probably)

Next morning was something else...

"I want to call you something in Hindi, like a nickname. " He says from the dining table chair, as you prepare breakfast.

"Is there a special reason?" You ask plating the French toast now.

"No reason, I just want to." He says pulling you into him, smushing his face into your chest. You giggled at him.

"Okay" You replied, moving back to sit down next to him.

(Later)

"What about 'love'?"

"Pyaar."

"Princess?"

"Rajkumari."

"Angel?"

"Pari."

"I don't love any of them." Chan whined, looking up at you from his head placed on your lap. Doe eyes on complete display with utter annoyance glazed over them.

"You don't have to use them Channie, just call me 'baby' or something. I really don't mind." You assure him, not wanting to make him feel worse.

"But you call me 'jagi' sometimes and it makes me feel all tingly. I wanna do the same." He says, a little sad.

"Oh, what did your mom call you last night? Right before she hung up." He says sitting up straight and turning to you.

"Jigar ka tukda?" He nods violently at your words.

"Chan that means 'piece of my liver', it's not very endearing when it's translated but it's the sweetest thing in Hindi. Also, that's more of a parent-child nickname." You say as his expression turned from excited to grossed out to sad, again.

"Do you think we'll find something cute in animals?" He asks clearly determined to find a suitable name to call you.

"Maybe, I don't know." You shrugged.

"Bunny?"

"Khargosh...nope."

"Agreed, pup?"

"I'd rather you don't call me that at all."

"I was just teasing. Butterfly?"

"Titli."

"Why does it sound weird?" He asks as his face scrunches up.

"You're just saying that cause all you hear when I say it is 'Tit'." You giggle pinching his cheek.

"I do." He laughs, a light blush covering his neck.

"Let's pause this topic here, I'm hungry." You say to him pouting.

"Let's go out, I know this dude, that is an a-mazing chef." He gets up from the sofa pulling you up with his hand in yours and walking towards the door.

A few minutes later you were inside the cuties dorm.

"So by 'going out' you meant the dorms?"

"I meant, anywhere but home."

"And by 'a-mazing chef' you meant Minho?"

"Yep." He pops the 'p' at the end, kisses your temple before informing you that he's gonna go annoy Felix in his room.

You sit down beside Seungmin and Jeongin on the sofa as they play Mario Kart, very focused.

They greet with smiles and nods and hums.

You don't say much either as they seemed engrossed and you didn't wanna see them whine about loosing because of you later at lunch.

"Lunch is served." Says Minho standing in the middle of the dorm in an cartoonish voice.

Everybody settled on the dining table, Minho began to describe the meal he had prepared as the maknaes looked impatient to dig in.

Jeongin taking a bite as soon as Minho finished so everyone could start eating, earning an eye roll from Minho making Chan laugh a little.

"Jaan, could you pass the salt."

You pass the salt to him before fully processing what he said and freezed...

"What....did you call me?" You look at him, a little shocked but also curious.

"Jaan, do you like it?" He asks, looking at his plate, a little shy now as the boys were looking at you both in interest.

"Do I like it?? Channie that's like the best nickname anyone could ever use!!" You smile the widest with a blushing face and kiss his cheek while hugging his side, almost falling down.

He hugs you back of course (saving you from face-planting) laughing to himself.

A gagging sound from Seungmin brought you back to reality, as you looked around you saw a smirk from Felix.

"Did you use Google?" The first thing you asked as soon as you were out of the cuties dorm as your curiosity got the best of you.

"I didn't, jaan." Be says glancing at you with a proud smile before looking back to the road.

Everytime he used it, it felt unreal.

Did he even know the meaning. Of course he did. He wouldn't use such a word all the time without knowing the meaning right?

"Do you know what it means?" You ask, wondering how he found out about it if not for Google.

"Yeah, means you're my life." He answers grinning wide, glancing at you again to gauge your expression. You looked just about ready to be a ripe tomato wanting to melt away.

"How do you know it?" You couldn't just leave it, he could've seen it on the internet somewhere, Hindi wasn't exactly an unpopular language.

"Okay fine, I called your mom and she said she didn't have any but your dad always uses the word for her, so I asked her for the meaning." He says parking the car and coming around to open your door for you.

"So now you're besties with maa?" You snicker at him and walk towards your apartment door.

He's right behind you, his hands on your waist walking into the flat with you and kicking the door closed behind him.

"Can't blame me jaan, you're besties with my entire family." He says kissing your cheek and plopping down on the sofa, patting the space next to him.

"Hayee meri jaan, mera to dil aa gaya." You say kissing him and snuggling in his chest.

(My life, you've got my heart)

"I'm too tired to look for the meaning today. Let's sleep." He says kissing the top of your head and leading you to the bedroom.

"Old man needs his sleep." Seungmin's jokes rubbing off on you was not something Chan was pleased about as he mumbled a 'sure old woman' before pulling you into bed, into his chest to waft away into dreamland.

"Jaan, meri jaan." A soft whisper left his lips before kissing your temple and falling into a deep sleep.

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Yandere idol group! x F! Reader

Worker Bee 🐝

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

Kofi:

And here's my tip page if you want a more direct link:

TW: Smut, manipulation

Tuesday

Every part of you is sore, especially your jaw and pelvis. When you wake up, Jason is cuddling your body.

"Hi, baby. How do you feel?" Jason asks, rubbing your back.

You groan in pain, then curl up into the fetal position.

"I know that jerk Haneul played rough with you. So I'll be gentle today," Jason says, sitting you up. "Take these pills."

You do as he says and swallow the pain pills. You go back to relaxing on the bed. You feel Jason massaging your shoulders and practically melt into the mattress.

"Ah," You moan, feeling all the stress leave your body.

"That's right, babe. Let all the stress leave your body," Jason says, his hands moving down your body.

"Wait a minute! You don't want to help me! You just want to feel me up!" You exclaim, slapping Jason's hands away and pushing him off you. "Damn it, get off me!"

"Y/N, I just want to help you," Jason pleads, getting up from the ground.

"Yeah, right!" You scream, kicking him out of your room. "Leave me alone, and when you get the chance, go fuck off to the grave!"

You curl up underneath the covers and try not to cry from thinking about your current situation.

~~~~~~~~~

"Y/N, are you awake?" Jason asks, knocking on the door.

"No, I'm not, and I never will be," You groan, turning over in the bed.

Your door creaks open, and you sigh into the pillow.

"Drink this, you need it if you want to feel better," Honey says, walking into your room and placing a cup of tea and french toast on your nightstand. "Come on, I know you haven't eaten food in about two days. The female idols that are our workers may starve themselves to please others, but you shall not."

"Sort of mean, don't you think?" You comment, sitting up.

"No. Just an avoidable fact of being an idol. You know, you get scouted at 13, go on a survival show, endure weeks of hellish living conditions, get paid $36 for appearing on a music show to perform, deal with fucking sasaengs, and then we're all just supposed to smile and wave as we know that everywhere we go, we'll never be truly alone!" Honey rants, scaring you as he smiles at the end. " But please, eat. I want you to be well. We want you to be well."

You frantically pick up the toast and tea, scarfing it down your throat.

"Aww, there's a good girl! I knew you'd be hungry," Honey laughs, rubbing your back. "We've also got some good news for you. We went shopping and got you some clothes!"

You look at the pastel trendy clothes and tense up.

"Well, thank you," You respond, sarcastically. "I suppose this makes my situation a bit better. You know, I had dreams and a life too. I wanted to save my money from my coffee shop job and buy my own apartment. But, no, the universe had other plans, and now I'm here, stuck with four crazy and delusional men who need constant validation and love like a bunch of children!" You rant, crying at the end. "I hate this place!"

"Shh, let it all out," Honey whispers, consoling you. "I'll let you out for a few minutes if that makes you feel better."

Something was better than nothing in this case, and you wanted to see the night sky again. Honey covers your eyes and leads you to a balcony. When he removes your eyes, the lights from the streets, shops, and houses turn the night into a glittery canvas.

"It's beautiful," You gasp, listening to the nightlife below.

"I knew you'd like it. I'd do anything for you if it made you happy," Honey says, looking at you.

Anything? Maybe I do have hope? I could make him kill the other three, and then I could be free.

"Really?" You ask, holding Honey's hand.

"Yes, anything. I'd even kill for you," Honey replies, holding your hands tighter.

"Thank you."

You kiss Honey, and he melts in your arms. You straddle him, and he takes you to your bedroom again. He starts to unbuckle his pants, and you take off your pajamas. Hani leaves a trail of kisses and hickeys on your neck, his hands groping your ass. His head slowly goes to your crotch, and he deeply kisses your folds. You shiver from pleasure and nearly fall onto the mattress. Hani leaves more kisses on your pussy as you moan. You wrap your legs around his head then he inserts his tongue.

"Ah, ah, ah, yes," You moan as he eats you out.

His eyes are in a daze as he's focused on your pleasure and tasting you.

"Oh, Honey," You moan, about to cum.

You cum on Honey's tongue, and he removes it to lick around your folds and clitoris a bit more like a thirsty animal. Honey rises from the floor, kissing you with spit and cum coming out of his mouth. He takes off his pants, puts on a condom, and inserts his penis in you. Honey immediately starts to thrust into you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

"You feel so good," Hani stammers, holding your waist.

The bed frame is hitting the wall, the room becomes steamy, and the bodies are sweaty. Honey's body starts to twitch as he orgasms inside you, and both yours and his legs are shaking from the pleasure.

"You're so much better than the others," You say, rubbing Hani's head. "The rest of them are so mean to me."

"I know. I'll protect you from them," Honey replies, lying on top of you.

Honey pulls out, and he fully relaxes on you.

"Promise me you'll keep that you took me outside a secret. If they find out, they'll never let me out again," You plead, looking into Hani's eyes.

"I won't. I won't say a word. You're my queen bee," Honey whispers, kissing your neck. "All mine."

[jerzwriter]

Mono~poly Chapter 2: Love on Tap

A Tobias x Casey AU - Information and Notes

AU Premise: What happens when something that was supposed to be just fun turns into something real? When true love enters the equation between two people who view the very concept of love in different ways, can it work? In this alternate universe, we'll follow Casey and Tobias (and some others along the way) on their journey, where a happy ending is what both desire, but (as in life) nothing is guaranteed.

Fandom: Open Heart, Choices ** Pairing (This Chapter): Tobias Carrick x Casey MacTavish F!MC Other Characters: Jackie Varma, Ethan Ramsey, Sienna Trinh, OC: Addie Larkin Rating: Teen Words: 5,100

Chapter Summary: Tobias & Casey are reveling in their newfound love as those around them have different reactions to the news. Conversations with Ethan have him coming up with realizations of his own, and Casey sees that she and Tobias still have a lot to learn about each other.

A/N: Wow, I posted that without a chapter summary! lol See, don't do things when tired! No notes this time around, hope to have part 3 up next week! Thank you to all who have read this so far, it's so appreciated! :)

SERIES MASTERLIST SERIES INFORMATION MY MAIN MASTERLIST

“You’re out of your fucking mind.”

Standing at the brunch buffet, Jackie scooped a spoonful of scrambled eggs onto her plate as Casey stepped back. Her friend was known for her straightforwardness, which is why she valued her opinions, but her reaction was still surprising.

“This will never work,” Jackie continued. “You’re a smart woman; how do you possibly think it could?”

Casey snatched the last piece of French toast just as Jackie reached for it. She didn’t want French toast, but with her growing annoyance, the petty win offered a sense of satisfaction.

“Thank you, Jackie,” she replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I think what you meant to say was, Gee, friend! I’m so happy for you, friend! I can see you’re overjoyed, and that’s wonderful, my friend.”

Jackie sank into her chair and grabbed her fork, stealing the sole piece of French toast from Casey’s plate.

“Stop with the friend shit,” she snapped. “We’re friends because we call each other out on our shit. We’re real... no blowing sunshine up each other’s asses when we’re doing something stupid. That’s the foundation we are built on, and I see no reason to change that now.”

“A little support would be nice...”

“Then I suggest you call Sienna, but make sure to leave out some key details about last night when you do.”

“But I’m not being stupid! Come on! You like Tobias! You play the ‘he’s so irritating’ game, but I’ve seen you together. You welcomed him into our circle. He loves me and treats me like a princess, so why are you so negative about us?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said with a swirl of her fork. “Maybe it’s the conversation you had about offering him a pass to fuck someone else twelve seconds after you exchanged I love yous?”

“Jackie!” Casey snapped, glancing around to ensure no one overheard. “That’s not what happened!”

“It’s not? Because that’s what it sounded like to me.”

“Then I suggest getting your hearing checked because that’s not what I said! I said we’re taking things one day at a time. Neither of us wants to see anyone else right now, but if that changes, we won’t break up or cheat on each other like most people do. We’ll discuss it like adults and see if we can make it work. That’s so horribly immature of me, I can see why you would disapprove!”

Jackie opened her mouth to speak but thought better. With a sigh and a dismissive wave of her hand, she merely replied, “Whatever,” turning Casey’s irritation into ire.

“Really? You know damn well there are many ways to have a relationship! What’s with you! You’re always so open-minded about everything, but when it comes to me, this is how you react!”

“I live in Somerville, Casey! I’m pretty much polyamory adjacent, and you know I have no problem with non-monogamy. The problem is you’re monogamous, and no matter how much you try to tell me that you’d be OK with Tobias telling you he needs next Tuesday free to go fuck that hot nurse he used to hang out with at Kenmore, I know you’re full of shit. So, as your friend, it’s my duty to pull off those rose-colored glasses and make you see the real picture.”

Casey speared a hash brown so forcefully that her fork nearly cracked the plate. “He’s not going to fuck anyone next Tuesday. Did you miss where I said it’s just us?”

“For now,” Jackie emphasized. “It’s just you two, for now. It won’t be easier when you’re together longer, you love him more, you’re planning a future, and then when he tells you he needs... more?”

“Look, I didn’t make any promises outside of I'm willing to try. Obviously, there would be conversations and boundaries. But sex... it’s just sex! If I’m in a loving, happy relationship, why would I throw it away because my partner has a very normal desire to have sex with someone else on occasion?”

Jackie sighed with exasperation. “If you’re cool with it, that’s your choice. But... what if it’s not on occasion? What if he needs two or three nights a week with the side piece. And what if it’s not just sex? What if he falls in love with someone else? Are you willing to share that as well?”

“First, I don’t think the word side piece is used in consensual non-monogamy. Second, he’s 38 years old, and he’s loved one person in his lifetime. ME! So I'm no too concerned about that."

Jackie reached over the table and squeezed her friend's hand, the judgmental look in her eyes softening into one of sympathy. “Casey, we don’t exactly decide who we fall in love with. And when people start bumping uglies... feelings happen. A year ago, you two were just fun, and... now look.”

“Which is why we're taking it day by day.”

“All right,” Jackie resigned. “If this is what you want, I’m happy for you. I just hope you don’t get hurt.”  

“Thank you,” Casey demurred. “... I hope so, too.”

~~~~~

Tobias had an early shift the morning after their big declaration. While he was known for being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as others glowered at him over their first cup of coffee, today, he was especially effervescent,  and that had people talking.

“I’d say he got laid last night,” a passing resident observed. “But I think that’s pretty much every night for him.” “Rumor has it he and MacTavish are official now!” their friend added. “Official? Carrick?” A nearby nurse scoffed. “Look out the window. If there aren't any floods, locusts, and famine, you got your story wrong.”

But the rumor spread like wildfire, and even those who avoided idle gossip found themselves desperate to know the truth. That included Dr. Harper Emery, who went straight to the source for answers. Swinging the door to the diagnostic team’s office open, she found Tobias seated at the conference table, Ethan reviewing files across from him.

“There you are!” Harper exclaimed.

“Dr. Emery,” Tobias chirped. “How can I be of assistance today?”

Ethan raised his eyes with suspicion, for he had also noticed Tobias’s excessive energy this morning but hadn’t questioned it until now. He wasn’t sure if he had come to expect this from his colleague or that he didn’t much care for the reason, and he was leaning toward the latter. Still, when Harper began questioning, Ethan’s attention was piqued.

“You know I’m not one to engage in hospital gossip, but sometimes, it’s so outlandish the scientist in me needs to determine its validity.”

“Oh, really?” Tobias smirked, pushing away from the table like a peacock about to spread its tail. “And how can I assist you with your dilemma?”

“Don’t be coy with me, Carrick. Is it true? Are you off the market?”

“Off the market?” He chuckled. “As of last night, Casey and I are official if that’s what you’re asking.”

Harper shook her head with amazement as Ethan choked on his coffee. Tobias turned to him with concern. “You all right there, buddy?”

“I’m fine,” Ethan insisted. “Something just... went down the wrong way.”

“You could say that again,” Harper grinned.

“So,” Ethan recovered. “You... and Casey... are official?”

“Yep,” Tobias beamed. “We’ve been unofficially official, but last night, we finally said it out loud.”

“And they said it couldn’t happen,” Harper teased. “But I must say, you do look happy! So I’m happy for you.”

“Oh, I'm unabashedly happy,” he insisted. “We both are.”

“Do you mind if I confirm that we part with Casey?” Harper taunted.

“Feel free! I have no doubt she’ll agree.”

Ethan’s lack of response was noticeable, and the stupified doctor felt the weight of his colleagues’ stares as he struggled to speak. “That’s... great news. I suppose... congratulations.”

Ethan quickly pivoted the conversation to the potential achalasia patient admitted late last night. When the discussion ended, Harper excused herself, but not before congratulating Tobias one more time. With her exit, an awkward silence overtook the room, and while Ethan was content to let it linger, Tobias didn't let it go.

“So, are we going to address the elephant in the room,” he asked. “Or are we going to feed it peanuts to keep it quiet?”

“What?” Ethan asked. “You and Casey? I don’t see why we need to discuss your personal life in a work setting.”

“Well, maybe because we all share the same work setting....”

“You make a point. Will you be notifying HR? You know, to ensure everything is on the up and up.”

“Already scheduled,”  Tobias confirmed. “Case and I already made an appointment to speak with the Director tomorrow.”

“Then,” Ethan slid his glasses back on. “It’s taken care of.”

Tobias anxiously rubbed his chin, his leg jiggling as he decided if he should continue.

“Are you alright with this?” he blurted before having the chance to think it entirely through.

Ethan removed his glasses and placed them back on the table; his mood difficult to read. Anger, annoyance, indifference—any would have been fitting. He reclined in his chair, giving careful thought to his words before continuing.

“Tobias... you and Casey are grown adults... and what you do outside of work is none of my concern.”

“I know that which is why I wasn’t asking for your permission. I’m merely asking if you’re OK with this.”

Ethan shrugged with a weary sigh. “Why ask useless questions, Tobias? Would it make a difference if I wasn’t? Would that change anything? If not, this conversation is pointless.”

“Stop the crap, Ethan. It has a purpose. We all work together. I consider you a friend even if you're not fully on board with that idea. But Casey is absolutely your friend – a good friend – and your opinion will matter to her, so it matters to me.”

Ethan smirked. “Don’t worry, Tobias, I’m not going to tell your girlfriend to break up with you.”

He hid it seamlessly, but the word “girlfriend” stuck in Ethan’s throat, and the discomfort lingered throughout the day, no matter how much he tried to wash it away.

Tobias was not one to be easily annoyed, but he was bordering on exasperation. He eyed the door to ensure it was closed before continuing.

“Ethan... I’m going to put my cards on the table. Even if Casey hadn’t shared some of your history with me, it’s the worst-kept secret at Edenbrook. Add in our own history, and....”

“Ancient history,” Ethan interrupted.

“Yes. Yes, it is. But turn on the news, buddy. Ancient history has a way of fucking up current times real good... and that’s something I don’t want to occur here.”

“Don’t worry,” Ethan assured. “Your relationship with Casey will not be impacted by any history with me unless one of you allows it to.”

“All right,” Tobias mumbled, returning to his work. But after a few moments passed, Ethan was compelled to say something more.

“I know you may not believe me, but... I’m happy for you. Both of you.”

“You are? You don’t have to say it if you don’t...”

“I think you know me well enough to know I won't say anything I don’t mean to placate you. It’s a bit awkward, I’ll give you that. But you appear to make one another happy, and when it comes down to it, I’d like to see you both happy.”

Tobias smiled, and the tension that engulfed them moments before all but melted away.

“Thanks, buddy. That... it means a lot to me.”

“I just have one request.”

“Name it.”

“Be good to her. Don’t... don’t hurt her, OK?”

“Hurting Casey is the last thing I want to do,” Tobias assured. “I mean it. I love her. I’ve never loved anyone like this, and I won't do anything stupid to mess it up.”

Ethan did his best to conceal how those words left him stricken, unintentionally pouring salt into wounds most would have believed were long healed.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Ethan smiled so convincingly he could have been nominated for an Oscar. “Now, let’s get back to work before the rest of the team arrives.”

~~~~~

Casey was blow-drying her hair in her tiny bathroom, though attempting to dry her hair would be a more accurate description. Her roommates—and Bryce—continually barging in was one thing. She was a veteran of that and knew how to usher them away until she completed her task. But today was different.

Today, she longed for a secretary to assist with the non-stop barrage of messages she was receiving. She knew the news would travel fast; it was Edenbrook, after all. But she never expected such an enthusiastic reaction. “OMG IS IT TRUE?” texts arrived by the dozen. Those messages were fun, but she would have put them on hold to continue getting ready. But there was no way she was ignoring the messages coming from her new boyfriend. Boyfriend!

With that, Casey returned to being protector of the mirror; Sienna was her first victim.

“Hey! I was here first!”

The diminutive doctor turned with a sly grin. “Sorry. I love you, but you snooze... you lose.”

“Sienna....” Casey wined. “You’re supposed to be the nice one!”

“I am! Relax, I’m just making a braid. I’ll be out of your hair, no pun intended.”

“All right,” Casey smiled.

“You aren't usually this concerned about your appearance when we're just going to Donahue’s,” Sienna teased. “What makes tonight so special?”

“Si...”

“Oh, I know!” she playfully chided. “It’s your big debut as Dr. Mrs. Carrick.”

Sienna underestimated how quickly her friend could maneuver. Within seconds, Casey grabbed the hot pink spray bottle off the counter and took aim.

“HEY!” Sienna protested.

“Sorry, this is how people train their pets. I’m going to try using it on my roommates.”  

 “You know I’m just teasing you,” Sienna giggled.

“I know. I just don’t want you guys scaring him away. I'm his first serious girlfriend, so let’s leave the word ‘wife’ out of conversations. I want to keep him around a little longer.”

“Around him? Of course!” Sienna insisted. “Around you? No freaking way.”

She gestured toward the mirror with a flourish. “Your mirror awaits! I’ll block the others from entering so you can get ready for your debut.”

She embraced Casey warmly before stepping away. “You look so happy!”  

“I am so happy.”

“And it’s well deserved! Tonight's going to be a great night.”

~~~~~

Casey was a ball of nervous energy as they turned onto Donahue’s street. Her skin-tight black satin pants, glittery gold cami, and matching sandals made quite a statement, and the hair she worked so hard to perfect was now a cascade of luscious, blonde waves. Her friends teased, saying she already landed the guy; she could relax now. But they didn't understand; she simply wanted her exterior to reflect how amazing she felt inside, and she nailed it.

Tobias, dressed a bit more casually than his freshly minted significant other was already waiting. He didn’t require much to command attention. His well-worn pale blue jeans and a black t-shirt that perfectly showcased the work he had been doing at the gym worked just fine.

He attracted a crowd wherever he went, and that’s just how he liked it. Sure, he reveled in the attention, but there was much more. Tobias had a unique talent for making each person feel like they were the only one in the room, and he loved making others feel seen. Tonight’s audience was predominantly strangers who had fallen under his spell, but one familiar face sitting perpendicular to him wasn’t nearly as impressed with him.

Addie had been his friend since he arrived in Boston nearly a decade before. One particularly gloomy night, he couldn’t stand the thought of sitting alone in his apartment for a minute longer, so he headed to a neighborhood watering hole not much different than the one they found themselves in tonight. He was seated alone at the bar when the curly-haired blonde rushed in from the rain, promptly slipping on the floor beside him. He helped her up and offered his medical services; she thanked him, then promptly called him a pervert. His raucous laughter made it clear no offense was taken, and, to Addie, that made him worthy of sharing a beer.

Their friendship blossomed effortlessly, and before long, she showed him enough of Boston for him to feel like a native. She introduced him to people she knew, and sometimes they forgot they hadn't been friends forever.

She hailed from a traditional Boston Irish family with whom she was estranged, but she retained some of their best traits. Addie Larkin knew from a young age that she wasn’t made to fit any mold, and she remained true to that, regardless of the price she had to pay. While she didn’t share Tobias’s boisterous personality, she still commanded the attention of a room as well as he did, and when the two were together, a good time was guaranteed.

They talked frequently and cherished each other but never managed to see each other as often as they wished. In fact, she wouldn’t have been at Donahue’s tonight if she hadn’t heard the news. Tobias Carrick had a girlfriend? She wouldn't believe it until she saw it with her own eyes. Ordering another round of drinks, she rolled her eyes at Tobias, who was entertaining the crowd with a story about the two of them breaking into the Franklin Park Zoo after hours.

“You did not!” A fetching young redhead squeaked, attempting to step closer to the handsome doctor.

“Most certainly did, young lady. But I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the mastermind here.”

“Please,” Addie scoffed. “Tobias has a tendency to make me into much more of a legend than I actually am.”

“That is entirely untrue!”

“It is true. Did he tell you why we snuck in? I was obsessed with the ring-tailed lemur, and after way too much bourbon, I convinced myself that the poor little fella was simply crushed because I hadn’t seen him in two weeks! That needed to be rectified immediately. That’s not legendary children,” she informed. “That’s insanity!”

Tobias draped an arm loosely around her shoulder. “As if insanity and being a legend are mutually exclusive! I’m of the belief that you can't be a legend unless you're a little off."

Ethan sauntered in at that very moment, hopping on the barstool next to Tobias.

“If that’s the case, you have exactly what it takes to be a legend, Carrick.”

“You see!” Tobias raised his beer. “I rest my case.”

Addie was already eyeing Ethan, subtly assessing him. Another trait she shared with Tobias... she could size someone up without them being remotely aware… unless she wanted them to be.

“Well, who is this handsome guy?” Addie asked with a smile.

“Handsome? Behind that scowl, maybe,” Tobias tittered. “This is my friend...”

“His boss,” Ethan injected.

“...Ethan. Ethan, this is my friend....”

“...and legend,” she added.

“...Addie.”

The tiny blonde extended a hand, eyes twinkling. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ethan.”

“Likewise,” he simpered, nodding toward her drink. “Could you use a refill?”

“Thank you, but I’m cut off for the night. I'll be driving soon. I’m only staying to meet Tobias’s girlfriend,” she said to the dismay of several people surrounding them. “I refuse to believe it’s true unless I see it with my own eyes.”

“Trust,” Ethan chuckled, motioning toward the bartender for a drink. “We all felt that way. But I can confirm, it’s for real.”

Addie went to respond, but her phone rang in her purse. “Oh, I have to take this,” she said, sliding down from her stool. “I’ll be right back!”

Ethan’s eyes trailed her as she walked away, only to find Tobias staring directly at him when he looked up. Clearing his throat nervously, he decided he had nothing to lose by asking.

“She seems lovely,” Ethan began. “Is she taken?”

“She is,” Tobias shrugged. “But that never seems to stop her, now that I think of it.”  

“Oh, in that case, I’ll pass. The last thing I need is drama.”

“On the contrary,” Tobias smirked. “I think you need more drama, my friend.”

“Sorry about that,” Addie announced upon her return. “I own a store in Cambridge, and my manager’s sort of new. She had a few questions that couldn’t wait.”

“Oh, what kind of a store?” Ethan inquired.

“Bohemian clothing, metaphysical stuff, incense... no offense, I don’t think you’d find it appealing.”

Ethan glared at Tobias, who choked on his beer.

“Hey, T. Will Casey be arriving soon? Alysha's not ready to close the store on her own yet, so I need to head out soon.”

“Affirmative! She’s on her way. She just got delayed by a five roommate pile up in her bathroom. Luckily, she was still able to get dressed, and no injuries were reported.”

“Five roommates!” Addie approved. “My kind of girl! I’m so glad you didn’t end up with one of those gorgeous, snobby assholes you used to date.”

Now, it was Ethan choking on his Scotch. “You know, I like her.”

“Casey is gorgeous,” Tobias corrected. “But I don’t think snobby or asshole remotely describe her.”

He heard the bells on the front door ring, indicating someone had entered, and turned just in time to see Casey appear.

“There’s my girl!” He hollered, turning to Addie with a brilliant smile. “Told you she’s gorgeous!”

“Hey!” Casey beamed as he pulled her close for a tender kiss. When they broke apart, Tobias had a smile that went all the way up to his eyes.

“Can you do me a favor?” He asked.

“Anything.”

He stepped back, obviously assessing the subject, and let out a low growl.

“Can you walk out and come back in? Because I need to watch that again.”

“Tobias,” she giggled. “How about you watch me walk back from the jukebox. Would that do? Besides,” she said, inconspicuously tapping the front of his jeans. “I have a feeling if you watch me too much, you’ll want to usher me right out of here.”

“Out of here or to the coat closet,” he leered while Ethan muttered something unintelligible.

“There’s plenty of time for that later,” Casey insisted. “Tonight, I'm showing off my new boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” Tobias grinned, wrapping his hands around her waist and lifting her onto the bar in front of him.

“Tobias, what are you doing?” She squeaked.

“Hey... everyone! Everyone, look over here. I have an announcement to make.”

Ethan dragged a hand down his face. “Jesus Christ!"

“Do you see this beautiful woman?”

“Yeah,” the crowd roared as Casey turned ten shades of crimson.

“This beautiful angel is my girlfriend, and I want all of you SOBs to know it!”

While most of the patrons cheered, there were some shocked faces and a few disapproving scowls within the crowd. But if anyone noticed them, it wasn't Tobias or Casey, who only had eyes for each other's eyes.

Jackie had elbowed her way through the mele and stood next to Tobias. “Aww, kiss her already!”

“Wow, have we turned you into a romantic?” Tobias asked.

“Oh, fuck no! Just do it and get her ass off the bar so I can order a drink!”

Tobias reached up and placed his hand behind Casey's neck, pulling her down for a long, passionate kiss as wolf whistles and cheers filled the room. Even Jackie managed to smile... just a little.

When Casey was back on solid ground, Addie turned to her with a welcoming grin. “All right, I have to ask because I know this man too well. This is for real, right? He didn’t pay you to pull a prank or something.”

 “No,” Casey assured. “This is the real deal.”

“Well, I’m astonished... and so happy... to hear that. I’m Addie,” she said, extending her hand. “Tobias and I go way back, and I had to come see this for myself!”

Casey enthusiastically shook her hand, mentally sifting through past conversations to see if Tobias had ever mentioned Addie, but nothing registered.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you,” Casey beamed. But Addie raised a brow.

“He’s never mentioned me, has he?” She turned to Tobias and struck his shoulder. “You prick! You have been dating her for a year, and you never told her about me!”

“Well,” he smiled slyly. “We were often preoccupied with other things.”

“For a full year?” Addie bleated before holding up her hand. “Wait, no. Nevermind. It’s you... I’m sure that’s 100% true.”

Casey looped her arm around Tobias’s waist, and he pulled her close.

“In fairness, until last night, we never defined what we were. I’m sure we still have a lot to learn about each other now.”

“Oh, honey!” Addie said, taking Casey’s hand. “I hope I didn’t offend you. This is just how I bust this asshole’s chops.”

A wide grin spread on Casey’s face. “Oh, we’re going to get along just fine.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you,” Addie winked.

“Oh, great. They're already ganging up on me.”

Ethan raised his glass with a smirk. “This is why I avoid relationships.”

“Oh yeah,” Tobias teased. “That’s why!”

“I wish I didn’t have to cut out so early,” Addie sighed. “But I have to go to Cambridge to help my new manager close my shop. But I’m going to see a friend perform at The Burren in Somerville later; why don’t you guys come?”

“We’d love to,” Tobias grinned, turning to Casey. “But we’re a little tied up tonight.”

“Literally or figuratively,” Addie chortled.

“Whatever she’s willing to do,” Tobias shrugged.

 “Ahh, I’m never going to see this man again, am I, Casey?”

“Oh, no!” Casey insisted. “We'll be spending plenty of time together, of course, but our friends matter, too! He’ll still be seeing you. I'll make sure of it.”

“Well, that’s good to know!” Addie stepped off her bar stool, offering Tobias and Casey a quick hug.

“It was lovely meeting you,” she said to Casey, then looked over her shoulder at Ethan. "You too, by the way."

“Likewise," he nodded. Then Addie was out the door.

“I like her,” Casey confirmed.

"Oh, Addie is the best!"

“We’ll have to hang out sometime. Is she seeing anyone?”

“She has a boyfriend, but I’ve only met him once or twice in passing.”

“Well, we’ll have to change that! Maybe we can double date?”

“I don’t know about this,” Tobias said playfully, looking at his watch. “I have a girlfriend for 20 hours, and she’s already controlling my schedule.”

“Oh, fuck you, T!” She laughed as he snarled.

“Gladly!”

“Oh, Christ!” Ethan interrupted. “Are we going to be subjected to this all night?”

Tobias pat his friend on the back. “Nope. With any luck, you’re going to be subjected to this for the rest of your life.”

“I need to find another bar,” Ethan sighed.

“No, you don't,” Casey insisted, grabbing his hand. “Screw that, come and dance with me.”

“Casey, you know I don’t...”

“Dance with me!”

Ethan turned to Tobias, hoping he would save him. But Tobias just smiled as he hopped back on his stool.

“If the lady says dance... dance.”

Casey was having the time of her life on the dancefloor, while poor Ethan looked like a fish out of water. When the lively tune abruptly led into a slow ballad, Ethan thought he found his salvation. He already had one foot off the floor when he said, “I suppose we should sit.”

But Casey wasn’t done. “Ethan, you’re allowed to dance with me. Tobias isn’t going to bite you.”

“Is this where you tell me that’s because he’s saving it to bite you later?”

“No,” she grinned, placing her arm on his shoulder and keeping a friendly distance between them. “But dance with me. It’s the perfect place to have a private conversation in a crowded bar.”  

She could feel the itchy wool of his sweater scratch against her skin as his chest rose and fell, and she had to smile. Tobias and Ethan were only three months apart in age. Tobias always called himself an old man, but Ethan fit the moniker so much more.

“I didn’t realize we had to talk,” he whispered.

“Well, we do. I wanted to let you know that nothing will change between us. I'm dating Tobias, but our friendship remains the same. You still mean just as much to me.”

“Casey, I...”

“Let me finish!” She scolded as his face softened, that smile only she brought out of him spreading on his lips.

“Go on.”

“You always say I'm your favorite mentee, and you continue to be a mentor to me, but that role is secondary. The most important thing is that you're my friend. I know we didn’t end up where we thought we might a few years ago… or maybe we did. Either way, you’re very important to me. Promise me our relationship won’t change.”

Ethan smiled down at her, silently kicking himself for having been such a fool.

"Nothing will change," he muttered. "I promise."

“Good,” she replied, leaning her head on his chest. “Now, I need to hook you up with someone so we can double date.”

“What's your obsession with double dating?" He laughed. "But there is no need. I am fine as I am."

“No, you’re not,” she dismissed. “There’s no chance you and Harper....”

“Casey...”

“All right, what about Addie? She’s hot, and she was totally checking you out.”

“Did you forget Tobias said she has a boyfriend? Though, he also said that wouldn’t be much of a hindrance.”

“Oh?” Casey said. “Would that work for you?"

“Shut up and dance," he smirked.

Casey stepped back and grinned. "How can we keep dancing? The song is over."

“Then... can have one more?”

“Of course," she smiled.

When the song ended, they returned to the bar, where Tobias welcomed her back. The night was full of drinking, laughter, and friends, and the new couple was unable to keep their hands off each other, becoming more affectionate with each drink imbibed.

“Would you two get a fucking room?” Jackie grimaced.

“I’ve got several rooms at my place,” Tobias purred into Casey’s ear. “What do you say? Ready to get out of here?”

Casey didn’t think twice. “Bye, guys!” she yelled as she clutched Tobias’s hand and raced toward the door. “See you soon!”

Once they were gone, Jackie clinked her beer against Ethan’s. The two took a drink and let out simultaneous sighs.

“This is going to be difficult. Isn’t it?” Jackie asked.

"Varma, you have no idea."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

Just something silly for mothers day.

Warnings for minor mommy kink and daddy kink.

-

It is the wee hours of the morning, the sun barely risen overhead when banging on the front door has Steve tumbling out of bed and down stairs. He groans as he opens the door, blinking blurry eyes at Billy Hargrove standing in his doorway with a bouquet of flowers. Roses and baby's breath.

"What are you doing here?" Steve grumbles. He is excited to see Billy, always is but it is too early for whatever this is.

"Came to see my favorite mom." Billy motions up and down with the bouquet of flowers. They are pretty, really pretty too bad all he can smell is the nasty baby's breath.

"Fuck you." Steve says even if he is pleased to see Billy he is not going to just let that side without at least a little protest. Just because he occasionally gives the kids rides and lets them sneak movies they definitely should not have and use his discount, Billy likes to jokingly call him a mom.

"Let me in and we'll see." Billy waggles his eyebrows already pushing past Steve to let himself in.

"Who'd you steal those from?" Steve closes the door and follows Billy toward the kitchen biting his tongue about the shoes he is still wearing. That will just make Billy feel validated to call him mom again.

Billy pauses in the doorway and turns just enough to smirk at Steve. "Wheeler's front porch." Proch comes out on a cackles as Billy proceeds into the kitchen.

"Classy." Steve snorts ever since Karen hit on him at the pool Billy has been a menace to all of the Wheelers.

"If you don't want them I'll toss them in the bin." Billy threatens holding the bouquet over the trash can.

"No, no I didn't say that." Steve says quickly before Billy can drop them. There is three week old lasagna in there from finally cleaning out the fridge. If Billy dumps the flowers, there will be no saving them. "They'll liven the place up a bit." Steve tries for nonchalant. He actually really likes flowers, something Billy is aware of. "Just dump the baby's breath that shit stinks." Steve knows Billy feels the same way about the stuff.

Steve pulls down an old Tiffany's vase his father brought his mother flowers in once. It is covered in a layer of dust. Steve does not clean over the fridge but maybe he should next time cleaning day comes around. 

Billy pulls the bouquet apart and dumps the baby's breath in the trash while Steve rinses the vase and fills it with some water. He pulls out the kitchen scissors next and cuts three fourths off of each stem before putting them in the vase under Billy’s watchful eye.

"You going to make me breakfast as a thank you mama?" Billy asks with a grin that can be felt as he presses kisses to Steve’s neck, chest against his back.

Steve thinks about elbowing Billy in the stomach for the nickname but it is hard to tell when he has tender spots and Steve does not like accidentally hurting him just for teasing.  "Stop calling me mom names and I'll make you french toast." He offers, he is not much for eating first thing but Billy always seems to be hungry and he gets awful sweet when he is nice and full.

"Sure you don't want to play?" Billy drags his mouth along Steve’s neck, making him shiver, arms around his waist, keeping him where he is wanted. Steve huffs a denial on his lips that is stolen away and replaced with a groan by Billy’s next words. "You can call me daddy."

Billy has always known how to push Steve’s buttons and he always uses that ability liberally. Sometimes to annoy but more often than not these days to get him worked up. "I hate you." Steve grit out cheeks warm as his cock clubs up.

Billy grins chortaling like a hyena as he kisses Steve's neck once more."That's right, baby. Now make daddy breakfast." 

Steve rolls his eyes and after a few assessing nudges with his elbow with no signs that there are hidden hurts he elbows Billy just enough to put some space between them. "Fuck you it's mother's day you want to play you can make me breakfast." Billy groans and rubs over the spot as Steve shifts around him and flops into a chair at the rarely used kitchen table.

Steve is expecting backlash but instead he gets leering as Billy saunters to him, boots kicking his feet wider apart. "I got all the breakfast you need right here mama." Billy cups himself through his pants where the material is pulled taunt by his hard on. 

Steve sucks in a sharp breath, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. Billy grins and Steve wants to rebuff him on principle but his mouth is already watering. Billy unzips his pants one handed, pulling his cock out as he drags that bottom lip from Steve’s teeth, thumb rubbing over it. "Come on mama food is going to get cold if you don't eat up fast."

Steve should bite him for the continued use of mama but all he does is slide out of his chair and drop to his knees. Lets Billy get a hand in his hair and feed his cock between his lips. Eyes falling closed as pre slides down his throat and Billy groans over him.

"Happy mother's day mama." Steve pinches Billy’s thigh for it and glares up at him through his eyelashes. Billy laughs and snaps his hips forward, making Steve breath heavily through his nose and swallow around him. His eyes fall shut sinking into the feeling as Billy fucks his mouth. All in all not a bad way to spend mother's day.

-

I wasn't planning to post anything, mostly because I haven’t been inspired to finish anything but this little thing came to me last night, so here we are.

[ladybirdswritings]

BEAUTY AND THE HYBRID - Klaus Mikaelson Fanfiction

summary: the slip of burlap rope brings an unsuspecting girl into the arms of a vicious, bloodthirsty creature.

warnings: mentions of ab*se, stockholm syndrome, captivity, dea*h, and violence.

next chapter <3 | ao3 | tag list

one

"Oh fuck yeah!"

"Birdie!"

My face tints a rose-like pink, burning at my cheeks as I scold my sister with wide eyes. She is happy today, and that's rare for us. Regardless, happy or not, her sailor's mouth never fails to mortify me. The patrons of this syrup scented diner stare for a moment, but return to their meal soon enough.

Birdie is fourteen today, and her eyes are eager and swimming with starvation as she inhales the powdered sugar air. I can't really afford this, not right now at least. Probably not tomorrow either, but today is her birthday. She'll only be fourteen once and- mom would have done the same thing. In fact, mom did do the same thing. Many times for me. When I turned twelve, we snuck into a cake shop and ate each sugared treat cased in glass displays. That was my favorite birthday.

I am not brave enough or- stupid enough to steal from anyone else. I have done enough of that this week.

"Dude, they have french toast coated in chocolate syrup."

Birdie is drooling now, I smile at her.

"Whatever you want, Birdie."

It's sad, how this is like Christmas for her. A warm meal at a shitty Mystic Falls Diner for the big one four. I will do more, soon. This however, it will be dealt with if I just take over Riley's night shift at the Grille- she won't mind the time off anyways.

The waitress is a strawberry blonde, her legs seem to go for miles. Her eyes are a pretty blue and her smile is tinted pink. Birdie wastes no time.

"Chocolate syrup french toast please! Heavy emphasis on the chocolate syrup... Ooh! And a stack of four pumpkin pancakes with whipped cream and lots of bacon and eggs on the side. Some orange juice too."

The waitress stifles her grin as she jots Birdie's order down on yellow pad paper.

"And for you?"

Birdie looks at me hopefully. I gaze into her eyes for a moment and pretend that my next words will be a request of pumpkin pancakes too.

"Oh that's everything, I'm not hungry."

Guilt floods them,

"I can hold off on the pump-"

"No Birdie, really I am not hungry."

I'm starving. My stomach growls in protest, luckily quiet enough for only me to hear. Birdie believes me, at least I hope she does as she sinks back into the booth.

The waitress smiles sympathetically, nodding once before scurrying off.

Birdie is impatient, drumming her fingers on the cherry wood as we wait. It isn't just the food she's impatient for. She groans.

"Ahhh- apple! C'mon- can't we just take a two second peek at what's in the big dumb thing?"

My brows twitch in discomfort and urgency, and I lift my finger to hush her. Maybe what that man said was all just to scare me, maybe he thought it was funny. It is the month of halloween after all, I have learned in my years here how serious all of Mystic Falls takes it. Still, I don't wan't to take any chances.

I shake my head at her,

"No. Not happening. That dude told us to keep this locked tight under all circumstances."

Birdie only rolls her eyes at that,

"Pfft. That guy was probably just trying to scare us. Ooh! I bet its drugs, or illegal weapons! Or illegal drug weapons!"

I shush her again.

"It doesn't matter what it is, it's not ours. I'm not opening it. I need it safe till midnight, till I get the payout and we get the hell out of Mystic Falls."

Birdie frowns, eyes gazing at the lonely jack-o-lantern glowing golden on the concrete outside.

"You think all that money is gonna buy us real fancy meds for dad? Like ones that'll get him better quickly?"

I wince at the question, I want to say yes but I truthfully don't know. He's worsened this month, I only hope these days. So does Birdie. It's her birthday, I can't make her sad.

"I'm sure we'll figure it out, we always do. Dad's gonna be fine. We're gonna have lots of money, money for medicine and money for unlimited pumpkin pancakes until you're at least forty three."

Birdie nods in agreement with that statement, "fuck yeah." she whispers. She tries to keep it discreet but, I hear it anyways. I ignore it.

The strawberry blonde waitress returns, juggling Birdie's food on a golden arm. She places four plates down in front of my lanky sister, her eyes light up like a million fireworks have ignited within them.

"Brought you a coffee pot sugar, its on the house."

The waitress, Karen, she smiles softly and it's warm like the coffee pot. She throws pink packets of sugar and small cups of cream in front of me. It'll keep me awake, I'm grateful. I thank her as I pour the bitter drink into the mug and breathe in the aroma.

Birdie is devouring her food as if it will up and leave her.

"My my, all this food. Today a special occasion?" Karen inquires, I nod with a warm grin.

"It's her birthday."

Karen gasps, "A birthday!? Well how old are you sweetheart? Old enough to pay the bill?" She jests.

Birdie shakes her head, teeth crushing a mixture of chocolate whipped pumpkin toast topped with bacon and egg. Whatever she could fit in her mouth. "Nope. Fourteen." She speaks muffled with a mouth full of food- her words are hardly audible, masked by her chewing. I repeat it to the waitress.

"Well then, a birthday calls for a special treat don't it? I'll go get one."

I nod gratefully, "Thanks. Hey um- do you guys have a bathroom?"

She points to the right and I slide out of the booth-gripping the white oak case in my hands. I'll bring it with me. I would be a fool to lose it, let alone leave it with my very occupied sister. I almost don't believe it's anything of importance, probably just some cruel prank. My intuition reminds me just how too good to be true it sounds. Yet, I am hopeful this month. So I'm playing along anyways.

My eyes are glued to the case as I walk right, so much so that I don't see the polished boots in front of me. I gasp, accepting the fate of the floor before it even greets me. We never meet. I clutch on to the fabric smelling of maple and bourbon. It tethers me, lifting me to my feet.

It is silent, I meet ice blue eyes.

Christ...

They bore past my very being, into something I don't even see myself. My soul, maybe. He is tall, tall enough that it makes me feel quite small. He has golden brown hair that curls at the tips, and golden brown stubble that surrounds pink lips. His eyes, they're all I see.

I stumble, he steadies me again with two strong hands.

"Holy shit!" Birdie calls, maybe amused- maybe relieved. She saw that, everyone saw that. My cheeks are pink again, as are the tips of my ears. The man's eyes wander around us, and it seems like that is enough for everyone. They all mind their business and return to their meals. As if he just cast a spell to detour their gazes.

His hands still grasp me as his eyes devour my composure.

"Are you all right?" His voice is like honey, stuck in a glass pot but glazing sweetness dripping from the very lid. It is deep, accented. He isn't from here.

I can't speak, I feel like I am crushed under his boot, the same one I tripped over. I only nod.

He releases me, slowly.

His eyes remain on mine, until they don't. He peers at the white oak case with an expression I cannot begin to describe. I watch him for a moment, analyzing. Fear strums at my core... its familiarity- I think. Or maybe I am just paranoid. I gulp, bending down to collect the case in my hands in an instant before he gets the chance to. I gaze at it, praying my fall didn't disrupt whatever lay inside.

He gazes at it too.

I have to speak now, otherwise I will be stuck frozen here.

"I apologize I um- I should have been paying more attention."

He doesn't tear his gaze away from the case. Not at first, for a moment that seems far too long for me to stomach. He breaks, eventually and a part of me is relieved but it seems a bigger part of me wishes he would just return his stare toward the case again. His eyes feel like they're burning through me. Like as if I try and speak again, my voice will falter to nothingness.

"You're alright, sweetheart. On you go."

Sweetheart. It calms the nerves. I nod gratefully, but his eyes returning to what is grasped in my hands just reminds me of why exactly I should be stepping rather than shaking. A gulp, then I am on my way, feet clashing against the noir tiles. Birdie is accompanied by the waitress, I catch glimpse in a napkin holder and sigh in relief as I push through the faded blue door.

I am eager to release the case from my burning hands, I was gripping it tight enough to callous my reddened palms. I throw it on the ceramic sink as the faucet squeaks, my trembling hands splash my pink face with warm water. I heat even more.

The mirror greets my pallid features, sunken in with exhaustion and hunger. It also meets my eyes, swimming with a melting pot of emotions. My breaths are shallow and labored, and my heart is pounding on its cages.

I splash my face again and yet? I cannot shake the feeling that this won't be the last time I see that man again...

[balshumetsbaragouin]

Daily Excerpt: Passion

Since chapter three is coming out tomorrow, we'll continue with sneak peeks from chapter 5. Look forward to bits and bobs from later chapters and Lore posts next week! Chapter Five: Inquiry and Eleemosynary:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“All of that sounds wonderful, especially the French toast.”

“That’s good, because he says it’s not quite right, and he wants it perfect before this little soirée Mr. Masters is throwing for the siegnorial leeches of Amity.” She ducked back outside the door for a few seconds before leaning back in, “there’s a button on that table if you feel off before I get back with the food. It’s not a bother at all, young lady, so don’t hesitate to press it.” Her typical omnipresent frown returned for a moment, as she looked her over. “I’m not sure you shoulda let him juice you up with whatever fancy electronic doodads he’d been all excited about lately.”

“He mentioned it to you?”

“Only to the investors two weeks ago. They were from some medical group, maybe a bunch of heads of medical research? Oh, that’s not it,” she tapped a finger against the door jam, before her face lit up again, “that’s right. They were from a group of teaching hospitals and medical research focused universities. I think he was trying to drum up interest in human trials.” Her frown returned, “I don’t like him doing human trials on my favorite ghost fighting girlie.”

“I’ll be ok, Ms. D.; Mr. Masters knows what he’s doing.”

“Oh, most men think they know what they’re doing, in business and in the bedroom, but you’ll come to find out they are all faking it until they make it.” She shimmied out of the room, heading off to whatever duties occupied her when she wasn’t gossiping with Valerie.

[mentallyshattered]

This is part 21 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Goodnight, Yuu," whispers Grim.

"Goodnight, Grim," I whisper back. Korrak and Mandible are already asleep, and we dare not wake them.

A moment passes. "Grim, do you want to try and find another big stick tomorrow?"

"Hehe. Yes."

And then our eyes close.

It only feels like a moment later that we're up and walking again, back in the Backstage Room for our usual morning routine. The walk there is muscle memory at this point, so we arrive a minute earlier than Epel. Interestingly, Korrak isn't there, even though he and Mandible were out of bed when Grim and I woke.

Meh. I'm too tired to think about that and add it to my mental list of clues in the quest to unravel the mystery that is our human roommate and his 'possum familiar.

More people file in as I brush Grim's fur to the smooth and silky shine that is expected and achieved daily by every furry familiar in Pomefiore. I'm still half-alseep when I squeeze a dash of kitty toothpaste onto Grim's kitty toothbrush, but that doesn't last.

With my own hair brushed and Epel on my left, I think it's going to be a normal day. Still, something feels off. Very off. I'm unsettled, and I don't know why.

Then it hits me. Slowly, like something oozing onto my head, it hits me. If Korrak has pilot parents, then why did he do so well against Floyd?

This is going to keep eating at me until I solve it. Sigh. And I have classes today.

" 'Ats th'matter, Yuu? Yer lookin' pretty worn-out, an' th' day ain't even really started."

"Myeeh. Classes."

Epel looks at us, confused- before laughing. "We ain't got no class t'day, 's a weekend!"

Grim and I both thank whatever forces gave us a day off. Epel, Grim and I hurry through our routine and go to breakfast- eggs on toast.

I still haven't seen Korrak or Mandible today.

Before I can properly register it- or wake up- Grim and I are adventuring through the woods outside our dorm, continuing our quest for a stick.

We carefully dig through the leaves before I step anywhere, exercising all the caution we feel we'll need to ensure the perfect stick does not escape our notice nor break before we may properly obtain it.

The woods are peaceful. Grim has dismounted from my shoulder in favor of trotting along the forest floor, through the yellow-brown that carpets the grass and tree roots.

His ears perk up. He looks suspiciously at nothing, head turned, and then calms, ears lowering. Still, he's clearly on edge.

I've got a feeling about this. It's a little dread, settling in my stomach like tar, but there's also some determination, sitting atop the dread like snow.

The question about Korrak is still eating at me. It's harder to ignore now that the sleep has left my eyes and mind, but I'm setting it aside nonetheless to search for the stick. Still: why would he lie? Did he even? Maybe it's just redacted information he's not comfortable sharing, as opposed to an outright lie. Maybe his parents taught him self-defense.

But... that didn't look like professional self-defense. It looked like something learned on the streets- but how would I know? I'm new to this world, maybe that's just what their jujustu looks like.

What's that? It sounds like... chittering. I look at Grim. He's facing roughly north, at the source, ears pointed forward. He makes eye contact with me. The message is clear: I'm not just dreaming. There's something- or someone- out there.

Hold on. More chittering? It sounds... different, somehow. A different voice? Wait. That sounds a lot like Mandible. And the other voice is talking now, could that be...Korrak?

What language could that be? Not French, that's for sure... maybe something else?

Wait. I've heard people talking about an "Animal Linguistics" class. If animals have their own language... and Mandible is an opossum...

Grim and I make eye contact again. He's connected the dots, too. Another question: why is Korrak speaking opossum? I've heard other people talking to their familiars during meals and in the Backstage Room, but they don't speak the animal language- they speak their human language, and the familiar chirps, barks, chitters, or otherwise make animal sounds back. I often can't understand either side; a lot of Pomefiore people speak Dutch or Spanish or something.

This mystery just keeps expanding. My mental pinboard has even more yarn on it now, and no extra answers.

The chittering has stopped. Maybe that wasn't Mandible and Korrak? Meh. We have a stick to find!

The woods are pretty and peaceful. Leaves crunch underfoot and underpaw, respectively, and rocks must be carefully avoided- lest I fall over. Grim is a quadruped, so he doesn't have that risk.

Ow! Tree roots. I also have to watch out for tree roots. Wish I remembered that before I fell flat on my face, but it's a little late for that.

"Are you okay?" I know that voice. That's Mandible.

"I'm fine," I start, lifting myself from the leafy forest floor. But, before I ask about what was overheard, I catch myself. They probably wouldn't react well if I asked.

Wait... this is a new area of the forest. I'm standing on the edge of a clearing, set in an indent in the ground, like a reverse hill. The inside of the bowl-like shape is all leaves, with some decent-sized boulders around the edges. One, two... Thirteen boulders, arranged in a circle. Some have sharp edges, others appear entirely smooth. All are grey, but various shades- some are far darker than others. A few even look to have stripes, like the igneous rock I learned about in middle school science class. It's very pretty.

There's an indent in the leaves- a path where someone walked. This must be where Korrak was earlier.

"What are you two doing out in the woods?"

Before I can respond to Mandible's question, Grim jumps in for me. "We're gonna get a big stick to make into a toy!

"Oh, that sounds fun! I think I saw one over here!" Mandible hops down from Korrak's shoulder and trots down the steep slope, into the clearing. I follow, take one step down, trip again, and fall- a hand wraps around my right wrist, and I realize I'm pulling Korrak down with me. He's strong, but gravity and momentum are stronger.

I hit the ground first. My arm breaks my falk for most of my body, but my hips don't get that, and throb with dull pain. I don't feel blood. Then, Korrak hits the leaf litter- and exclaims something when he does. It's not English, but the chittering we heard before. He sounds indistinguishable from an actual opossum.

Oops. I'm staring. And he's noticed, too. Time to try and pass it off as an "I was worried" thing.

"Myeeh! Are you two okay? Yuu? Yuu!"

Well, Grim's beat me to it. And, oddly enough, Mandible is chittering at Korrak. I think he's asking if we're alright.

I stand, stretch, and offer Korrak my hand. He takes it, and I lift him. "You good?"

"S-sure am. Thanks." He pauses. "Are you?"

I nod. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"Yuu! Do you need ice?! I can summon some!"

"Don't, Grim."

Korrak is looking at me now. "You're pretty fluent in Cat."

I look at him, right into his smokey grey eyes. "What?"

"You're p-pretty fluent in Cat. I'm impressed."

"What do you mean by that? How can I be fluent in a species?" Only after the words leave my mouth do I remember Animal Linguistics is a class.

Korrak bursts out laughing. "Animals have languages. You seem p-pretty fluent in Cat, especially considering it's not y-your native language. That's what you and Grim are speaking. What's h-h-he saying, anyway?"

"He's asking if I need ice and offering to summon some."

Korrak laughs. "G-good ol' Grim."

"By the way, what did you mean by 'not my native language'?"

He pauses, nervous. "W-well, I'm assuming your native language isn't Cat. You seem f-fluent in it, th-though."

"I'm assuming the chittering is you and Mandible speaking Opossum, then."

Korrak nods. "Y-yeah. It's my, um.. Nevermind."

He whispers the last part, just a faint draft of breath, but my ears catch it anyway. Grim's do, too. This time, I take notice of how his words sound- he's speaking Cat.

"Your what?"

"Your what?" I echo his words, in English this time.

"N-nothing." That's a sound he doesn't usually stutter. He's nervous.

I give him a look. He doesn't cave, not yet.

"Found it!"

"Myeeh, that's too thin... maybe. Hey, Yuu, over here!"

I walk over to Grim and Mandible to look at the stick. It's wildly thin, and is shaped like a paperclip someone tried and failed to straighten out. It's not going to work.

"Yeah, too thin. Thanks for trying, Mandible." I spare a glance at Korrak. He's still standing there, nervous. I'm a little scared to leave him alone. Not completely alone, obviously- he'll still have his familiar- but an opossum can only do so much, and... sigh.

"Come on, hench-human. I wanna see Sam's. I heard there's a tuna discount!"

Of course, he's thinking of tuna. His favorite food. He's never told me, but, in the other world, my Grim loved tuna beyond any other food. He loves it here, too.

Maybe we'll run into Rook there; we can ask him for help if we do. Hey, that's right- Rook is probably here somewhere, supervising. Korrak will be okay.

I laugh. "Alright, Grim, let's go and look."

Taking one last glance at the nervous, purple-haired boy and the furry marsupial, we leave the little bowl clearing behind us, questions put aside in our heads.

[adamruz]

When Does it Stop Hurting

Summary: A “what if” Kim didn’t shut Adam out after the miscarriage.

Word Count: 816

Note: I originally drafted this back in January and just getting around to finishing it now.

It had been exactly twenty four hours since Kim found out that she had a miscarriage and lost the baby she was so excited about having. She was sitting alone in her dark empty apartment watching mindless TV. All she wanted to do was distract herself with work like she'd always done, but Voight forced her to take a week off. She kept reaching her hand down to rub her stomach where a small bump would have soon been growing, but now it was just a reminder of what she lost. Her phone was buzzing with texts from everyone making sure she was okay, but she only wanted to hear from one person - the guy who had been with her every step of the pregnancy after she let him in. But she told him that she needed some space earlier that morning, so it made perfect sense why Adam wasn't reaching out tonight as he was just following her wishes.

Kim decided to try and get some sleep since she had slept maybe only two hours total after finding out the news that left her heart broken. After tossing and turning and having flashbacks to those few minutes in the motel each time she closed her eyes, she decided to text the one person who she knew would make her feel better and who knew exactly what she was going through.

Hey. Can we talk?

Her phone never buzzed with a response, so she assumed Adam was at work, asleep, or just ignoring her. But within five minutes, she heard a knock on her door. Did he speed over here, she thought. Adam's apartment was at least ten minutes away on a good day with no traffic. But the fact that she didn't even need to ask him to come over and he knew exactly what she needed warmed her heart for the first time today.

Kim opened the door. "Hi," he said softly. "I know you said you needed space, but your text…I hope it's okay I came over." She nodded and moved aside so he could enter her apartment.

“How are you doing? Be honest with me Kim.”

She tried to keep it together and opened her mouth to speak, but took a breath and sighed. Adam moved closer to her to wrap his arms around her and Kim just broke down in his embrace. She was pretty sure she would've fallen to the ground if he wasn't holding her up. In between her sobs, Adam just kept rubbing her back and repeating "I'm here" until she gained some strength to stand up on her own.

Kim spoke for the first time since he arrived, "I know…thank you." She motioned for him to sit on the couch as she went to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face. As she returned to the couch, she sat down next to Adam. "I'm sorry for that. I know you just lost a kid too."

"Kim, don't apologize. We'll get through this together."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him as she was pretty sure she'd start crying again, so she was staring off into space until she asked a question she'd been asking herself ever since she talked to the doctor. "When does it stop hurting? You know, at first I didn't even want this baby and now I'm crying over losing them on my couch. Maybe it's what I deserve."

The tears started falling again and Adam reached his hand up to wipe them from her cheek. "Kim, look at me. Nobody deserves to lose a baby, especially not someone as caring and incredible as you." Turning to look at him, she thought he always knew just the right thing to say to make her feel better.

"And it's going to hurt, especially right now, but we can get through this together. What can I do to help?"

"Can you just stay here tonight and hold me and tell me everything will be okay? I always feel better in your arms."

"Of course I can darlin'. But first, let me make you something to eat because I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten anything all day."

"I could go for some of your famous french toast," she answered with a slight smile on her face that resulted in Adam smiling too. It was the first time either of them had smiled since they found out the baby was gone.

"French toast it is." Adam jumped up and headed for the kitchen to gather the ingredients for his french toast.

Kim followed him and moved to sit at the kitchen table. "You know I was really looking forward to watching you become a dad."

"I know you would've been an incredible mom."

Kim replied back trying to sound as hopeful as she could after suffering a miscarriage, "maybe we'll get another chance someday."

[jesters-shadows]

I agree. I'll make French toast, if you want.

Maybe but, you already cooked a ton tonight! We'll find something for tomorrow, and if not then yeah you can make French toast.

Alright, alright.... you two lovebirds get home safe, alright?

*Starro hurls a pillow at Icia for that one.*

conny laughed a bit

[iamskadhi]

Story of a villain - Part 1

Hello and goodnight (I'm assuming you're looking for a little reading before bedtime)

DABI STANS, it is my pleasure to release the little something I've been working on for a while.

As I mentioned before: it has male POV, a little explicit smut, drama (obviously) and I also made a conexion to the first fanfic that I posted (family and quirk of the female lead)

This is a long story , but I try to use the light novel format to make it a quick reading so a lot of things will happen this is not just some "smut" fic, this is a whole fanfiction.

This is just the first part and it has over 7000 words.

I'm not sure about the title though because he's not a villain here but we'll get there, I promise.

Also, I would like to give a name to our female lead - she has one - but I'm not sure if readers would like it. Lately, I've read a lot of "you" and "y/n" on all of the fanfics platforms and I'm insecure about naming original characters so I just changed it to "babe" or simply erased it from the sentence.

I think that's pretty much it, feel free to send me messages to correct mistakes, english isn't my first language so there must be a lot of parts that don't make sense.

PART 1

“Do you ever feel… scared of me?” I asked.

“I often feel scare of losing you forever, why?”

“Not that, I mean afraid of me, like if I would ever physically hurt you”

“Wha-why? What did I do? What happened?” she looked at me completely confused, she was making coffee while I was making French toasts for breakfast.

“You’re not getting it”

I shook my head and she came closer.

“No, I do. I’ve never been scared of you, Dabi. Don’t be weird, hon”

“Not even when we first met? I know I’m not exactly good-looking — or good at all. I know what I look like and I notice what other girls say, the way they look at me…”

“You notice other girls?” she looked straight into my soul for a second.

“You know what I mean, missy” I poked her forehead “Don’t ravel my words”

“You’re burning the French toasts”

“Shit, shit, shit” I turned the stove off.

She took a deep breath.

“Are you leaving again?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“Have you been watching doramas?”

“No” I chuckled.

“Good, I hate those things, half the problems are caused by miscommunication, so please, pleeease tell me why would you think I’ve ever felt scared of you?”

“I already told you, you didn’t listen”

“Touya” she only used my real name when she was pissed “I love you, why would you care about other people staring or whispering dumb shit about your looks?”

“I don’t know”

When I was seventeen, I met the strangest girl in Japan. I didn’t know all of the girls but I was sure, she was strange, not simply weird or chaotic, strange; and the reason she was so strange is because she liked me.

I liked her too… Well, I loved her.

The thing is I cannot stay with her, no matter how much I want to or how much she begs for it; but I would rather die than letting her go, therefore I just come and go all the time.

Surprisingly, she waits for me. I only left twice since I met her, for a few months — two, five — and in different occasions I only disappeared because I needed to make my own money and I don’t want her to be involved in anything that I do, so I leave for a couple of days, maybe a week each month.

The first time I left because I got scared, I was getting too attached to her cold hands and warm kisses, I used to sneak in her house and we’d cuddle in her bedroom, she less than a year younger but we liked each other madly and eventually we had sex. I never thought I could feel that much.

“Will you still like me after this?” she asked the first time.

“I think I like you even more,” I mumbled.

Her bright eyes widened, she gave me a breathtaking kiss.

“Can we do it again?” she asked.

She kept my brittle heart warm and we ablaze her bed together. We grew up together and went from sneaking in and out from her parent’s house to going to underground clubs and bars and it was enough, for me it was enough.

She wanted more and she deserved it, I just couldn’t do it.

“You make me feel like a fool waiting for you,” she said one night before falling asleep.

Now that we were older, I’d come to her apartment, spend the night together and we’d have breakfast before she’d go to work, a good work at her father’s company. I used to pace the apartment before leaving.

I meditated a lot about my feelings about us; I knew it wasn’t exactly scare of commitment. We knew the type of relationship we had, that was clear and I was all in it. She was pretty, affectionate, loyal and I… well, I was use to give 200% of myself in everything I do.

“Take your name back, I’ll help you,” she said one afternoon at her favorite coffee shop.

“I can’t”

Because of that, I was scared

She belonged to me; she became my home. No words needed, I thought, I think she knows. I didn’t feel like I could – no, I didn’t want to fit in her perfectly normal life.

I could go anywhere I wanted, but I’d keep running back to her and every time she’d open her door for me; caress me, kiss me and make love like if it was the last time.

“We could run away together” she used to say before falling asleep.

Every now and then, she would say: “Let’s run away, let’s get out of this country, I’ll go anywhere you go” but never insisted a lot; maybe she was afraid that if she was too clingy I’d run away on my own.

Maybe I needed her to cling onto me to stay. Who could know?

I liked watching her sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I could feel time moving, I’d put my hand on her breathing chest just to make sure she was real.

“Do you remember my friend Hana?” she said randomly one morning while making coffee, “she’s a med student and she has a healing quirk, I was thinking she could help to regenerate your skin. Only if you want to, my love”

“Why?”

I didn’t think it was possible but I wouldn’t mind if it was.

“Well — I just thought, it could help you to look and feel better, even if it’s for a short time…” she was murmuring but I could hear, she had something in mind but she wasn’t gonna say.

“Okay” I agreed and she smiled, I hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.

Every morning she would get her cup of coffee and become a kitten. Then she’d go to work and I’d stay a little longer and turn the housewife mode on. She didn’t know though.

It was fun. In my imagination it was the other way round, I liked picturing a different life while cleaning: I’d go to work at my father’s hero agency and she’d be a lovely housewife, by now we’d have our first kid, hopefully a girl, by God’s grace she’d have my sister’s temper!

She would be calm, nerdy, sweet and beautiful as her mother. Of course, this was all in my imagination.

I hated thinking about my family, but I liked the idea of us starting a family. One completely different to the family that I had, one where no one is use and discarded. However, it’s never going to happen. Not only because I stopped living by my name, but also because both her parents knew about me — and they loathed me.

At first, her mother made a scandal, she screamed and punched a maid in the face out of anger, and then her father talked to me in private, he handled it better than I expected.

“Whatever phase she’s going through I don’t give a fuck, you better never knock her up, I’ll strangle you myself if you dare”

He had balls and I respected that, at least enough — but only because I loved her.

Around seven years later, that phase wasn’t over and they were getting impatient, her mom would come to her apartment and change the door’s password (as if I needed it) on random days. The last time I was still there.

“You, get out. Now” she commanded and just as I crossed the door, she ranted: “Just because we work hard to keep this a secret doesn’t mean we’ll ever accept you, I’ll find a good suitor soon and she’ll marry him, get out of her life already!”

I sighed.

“I work just as hard to keep my manners, ma’am.” I lighted my hand with blue flames. She gasped.

“Are you threatening me?”

I just walked away. I don’t do threats.

About an hour later, I got a bunch of “sorry” messages and a phone call.

“I swear I’m gonna change the whole fucking door if it’s necessary… even better! I’m moving out and will never give her my new address so we can fully live together, you won’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to”

She started a whole speech about living together, I could imagine her walking in circles and moving her free hand all around and it made my day just listening but a life like that… it was impossible.

“You still coming home tonight, right?”

“I got a lot of things to do, babe”

“Wanna go out?”

I laughed.

“It’s Tuesday, you have work tomorrow, just eat your dinner and go to bed”

“Did you cook?” she asked happily.

“Yeah, probably”

“Did you burn it?”

“You’ll find out, send me a pic before you go to bed”

“Of course. I love you”

“Me too”

I’d never say “I love you” on the phone, it was too embarrassing, but she was fine with it.

A week later, she caught me off guard. It was her day off and her friend Hana came over.

“I don’t know how you manage to live here, it took me forever to get to this floor and I used the elevator! Oh, OH! He’s here! Good morning, Dabi!”

I suddenly remembered how talkative Hana is.

“Morning”

I met Hana when they were in high school — they were childhood friends. At first, Hana was cautious when I was around, she used to leave us alone almost immediately, I think Hana might have tried to talk her out of this, but obviously it didn’t work.

I don’t know when we started to get along.

“Good morning, sunshine!” my baby greeted her playfully.

“Good morning! You’re having breakfast, am I early? Really? You woke up late, it can’t be me. Can I have some? I ate before coming but I spend a lot of energy to come, the subway, the cab, the goddamn elevator, I’m starve!”

Hana was like a shot of espresso, and my babe is a caffeine maniac.

“I made extra, sit down please” my baby served two plates, orange juice and coffee just for Hana.

Hana’s quirk required her own energy to heal others if I’m not wrong, I realized why I didn’t have to make breakfast this morning.

“So you’re a med student,” I said casually.

“I’m resident already” Hana took a sip of orange juice.

“A what now?” I was in disbelief “Did you bribe her?”

“Not yet” she smiled.

“Oh, shut up” Hana laughed “I was just lucky my quirk is too useful and we’ve been friends for a long time. I know you both if I’m allowed to say so and also I’m curious about what you’d look like if I can fix at least those patches under your eyes”

They had a lot to catch up while Hana was eating; I kept bringing plates to the table just to make sure they had enough time to talk and create my chance to disappear.

I made my way to the door and Hana caught me.

“Where do you think you’re going, sir?”

“We ran out of orange juice”

“We have enough orange juice, go lay on the couch now,” my love commanded and I obeyed.

For a moment, I thought at least Hana would be quite while using her quirk, but she was like a radio host.

She required physical touch and her eyes analyzed me as if she could see right through my burned flesh.

“The damage is too deep, I don’t know if I can fix your tear ducts, you can close your eyes and don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt” she was narrating every single step while massaging both of my burned patches of skin under my eyes. “I’m removing your dead cells, I know it feels weird.”

I felt a little tickles but not enough to laugh.

“This isn’t exactly regenerating, you can’t bring back to life a cell once that is dead, but I can put your living cells to work and create new ones while removing death skin with this massage. This might take a while, but trust the process”

A few minutes later she washed her hands, my babe bought iced coffee and sweets, and Hana kept working hard on fixing my mess.

“You can go and watch a movie on TV, dear, you don’t have to keep feeding me, we’ll be fine,” Hana said.

“I’m starting to feel bad for giving you work on the little free time you have”

“It’s okay, I’m serious”

“Well… I… if you need anything just ask” she said before going to the bedroom.

“Talking requires energy too, you know,” I mumbled when she massaged my neck.

“It feels weird touching people like this in complete silence; you could talk if you want me to shut up”

“I have nothing to share with you, sorry”

“Well, you’ve been dating my best friend for a long time, we’re adults now and I’d like to know how serious you are about your future”

“Are you her mom?”

“I am concerned,” she admitted.

I opened my eyes, she gave me her more serious gaze and she was the type of girl that stops mid-walking just to say “hi” to all the kittens. She meant it.

“Concerned about what?”

“A lot of things! I don’t know your real name” she started a whole speech but kept working on my skin with a little more pressure as if she was prepared for this, “I know you’ve been an important part of her life since high school, you’re practically a pillar! When I first saw you I thought she was in big troubles, but you’re good to her in your own way; you don’t take anything from her and you keep her centered, you cook for her and…”

“So? Where’s the ‘but’ I’m waiting for?”

She stopped massaging my skin.

“I don’t know, I never dated anyone, but another friend just got engaged and I thought… when will I go to my best friend’s wedding?”

She sighed.

“I can’t do that”, I said.

Her eyes turned to knives figuratively, I was sure a thousand ways to kill me were running inside her mind.

“But my name is Touya”

I was surprised when she smiled.

“Good enough, I’ll take that for now” she took something out of her purse “And by the way, you’re really handsome, Touya. I bet she knew before anyone else”

Hana handed me a mirror, her fingertips had pieces of my burned skin stacked but she didn’t seem to mind at all. I was speechless when I saw my reflection; I couldn’t even see the parts where my skin used to be parted.

I touched the staples and piercings I had to keep it all together.

“I didn’t remove them because I suppose you’ll use your quirk again even though you shouldn’t”

“Thank you”

By now, she completely regenerated my face’ skin and half of my neck. She kept working in silence; she started to look tired but didn’t stop.

It took her over six hours to regenerate my skin from the neck down to my chest, she worked hard and it showed.

“I heard silence and I got worry, how’s it gooo… oh my god, Hana!”

“The devil’s in the details! I’d like to help a little more but I’m exhausted”

“You can take a nap here,” my babe pointed out the room.

“Oh no, I’m sure you’d like some alone time right now. I’ll have more coffee before leaving and can I have some toasts?”

“Everything inside my fridge is yours, you earned it”

Hana almost leaped from the living room to the kitchen, she was tired and starving but managed to keep her cool — and now I admired her, but I wouldn’t admit it out loud. My babe sat next to me and touched my face carefully.

“How does it feel?” she asked me, rubbing the back of her hand on my cheek.

“Soft. Good”, I admitted. “Can you go out and buy something for me?”

“Of course, my love, what do you need?”

After some instructions (and snacks), my babe and Hana were going out the door when she tried to give her something.

“Oh no, it’s okay, I just ate everything in your kitchen”

“This is for your silence”, she said resolute.

“Oh I see”, Hana mumbled and took it.

When she came back home, she helped me to bleach my hair. I was drying my hair with a towel in front of the mirror and barely believed my eyes, my whole face and now my white hair… it was as if nothing ever happened; except for the staples.

“My love, are you okay?” she knocked the door.

I lost the words when I opened the door and saw her big bright eyes and her pupils dilated, it felt so good as if I was reborn.

“Just for now, call me Touya,” I said taking her hand and pulling her closer to me.

“Touya… Can I kiss you now?”

“We’re so doing more than that”

We started kissing, she slipped her tongue into my mouth and I picked her up, tangled her legs around my hips, and touched my cheeks with her cold hands. It always felt nice. I took her to the bedroom; she was breathless when I put her down.

“You shouldn’t have put on any clothes,” she said while taking my jeans down.

“You should’ve take yours off before knocking the door”

I undid her blouse.

“Yeah, no more talking, okay?” she mumbled while turning around and took her pants down. Put her elbows on the bed, her back perfectly arched.

“Straight to the point?” I sighed and pulled her head up by her hair “But I want you to keep looking at my face right now”

“You’re feeling kinky, will you talk dirty?”

I licked her neck as she turned around, I gently caressed her clitoris with one finger.

“I won’t make any promises”

She ran her hands through my hair. Sparkling eyes locked in mine. Her warm breathe hit my neck.

“Fine, but don’t stop” she said.

I kissed my way down on her until I was on my knees, caressing her thighs with my hands and I looked up grinning when I licked her most sensitive spot.

When I heard her heavy breathing, I pushed her gently on the bed, I got up to see her naked body and licked my lips while caressing her vulva with my fingers; she was beautiful, wet and warm. I did my best to resist the urge to go deep inside her.

Missionary was not her favorite position but right now I felt like spoiling her a little more than usual. She tangled her legs on my hips, tempting me, and clawed her fingers on my back - up and down - impatiently while making out.

I took her wrists with one hand and put them up her head on the pillow.

“You’re being mean” she whispered with puppy eyes.

“I thought I was spoiling you,” I said while running my tongue over her nipples.

“Yes, you are, I might get accustomed”

I laughed; she was so strange. She led one of her hands down to my dick.

“Put it in”

I shook my head and she pushed my body and rolled us to be on top.

“Do it now”

“We ran out of condoms last night”

“What?!”

She suddenly turned all shy, her cheeks were blushing and she covered her breasts.

“Why didn’t you tell me when I went to buy your hair bleach?”

“I remembered just now, but you can sit on my face”

A sly grin made the timid woman disappear, she came over and I clawed my fingers on her ass while I run the tip of my tongue through her, different paces at different spots - gently where she was sensitive and rough where she wasn’t - and she wiggled her hips slowly, enjoying it.

All I could see from between her legs was her upper body bounce, heard her whispered sighs and I reached my hand down to touch myself. She was at the edge of coming done and she was gorgeous, I wanted to feel it but I had to settle with my hand.

I focused on her clitoris with the tip of my tongue and caressed her hips with my other hand, her knees were trembling, her hands reached my hair, I closed my eyes.

“Da… bi” she stuttered whispering. Her body lost control, turned weaker. “Touya”

I could see it in my mind. I introduced two fingers inside her; tickling her sensitive spot to help her more and with one last swipe of my tongue on her clitoris, she was done.

By now I had memorize every inch of her face when she had an orgasm and it always made me feel so satisfied and amazed as if it was the first time. Being able to make her feel this way was like a prize, I felt like if I was made for this and only this, the rest of the world stopped moving for that moment.

She pulled away unsteady, she kissed me sucking my tongue inside her mouth —I was sure she could taste herself and she liked it, she liked leaving me breathless; I felt like I could die and I wouldn’t mind it.

“Let me help you” she whispered as she went down on me.

After I finished, we cuddled and she fell asleep but I woke up. Just stared at the ceiling, time moved slowly, I had a bad feeling and wanted to get up and get some fresh air.

“Your heart’s racing” she whispered, “are you anxious?”

“I just need air”

We got up, put on some clothes and she opened the window, I took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me, concerned.

I didn’t know, shook my head in silence and she embraced me gently.

“Wanna go out for a walk? Let’s buy some groceries,” she suggested. I touched my face. “I bought some masks in case you didn’t want to go out like this”

We got ready to go for a walk; she put on a mask too.

“We’re spies now!” she exclaimed playful like a kid.

“You’re so cute” I caressed her hair.

“What? Spy ladies are sexy”

“Dummy”

“Let me be” showed me her middle finger; I took her hand and intertwined our fingers, after leaving the building we wandered around for like thirty minutes. It was getting dark.

Everything was normal, I looked around, nobody was looking at us or at least at her, I usually walk behind her to elude the attention she gets. My babe was like a daydream, I used to walk with my head down and pretend she didn’t draw the attention of other misfits like me - but that was the inescapable truth.

She suddenly pointed a convenience store.

“Let’s buy some juice or strawberry milk”

“Sure”

We walked in and I took the mask off my face. A trio of little girls wearing uniforms giggled and whispered to each other and she noticed too.

“Hey, don’t do that! You’re too gorgeous, it’s not fair”

I took her mask off and cupped her face with my hand.

“You’re the pretty face in this relationship, you know that. Go and get your strawberry milk”

“That’s for you, I want an iced coffee,” she said while walking to the aisle. “Grab some chips or instant ramen”

“Yeah”

I was looking for her favorites when the door opened again and I heard a girl’s voice that caught my attention, her words shook the back of my mind:

“Natsu, can we buy some soju? I miss it”

“If you find it we can, you know that,” he answered.

I froze standing there. It can’t be. There must be a thousand guys named Natsu in the area, it can’t be that Natsu, I thought.

I saw a glimpse of white hair moving towards the aisle I was. “Move”, I thought, “move, you piece of…”.

“Hey, Touya, they have mango flavored…” she appeared in front of me unexpectedly and I pulled her and tucked her in my arms.

I saw him and he looked at me for a moment. Natsu and that girl stood right in front of me for only a few seconds but it felt like an hour, he looked just like dad.

“My love? You okay?”

“Let’s go” I said and dragged her to the counter.

I paid and we left the store behind in a rush. I felt the anger heating inside my chest, we would not go home but I couldn’t leave her like this. Maybe that was the bad feeling I had before. We walked to the nearest park, the cold air felt nice, but I felt like shit.

I told her about Natsu.

“I noticed him too, he does look like… that man… but don’t resent him for not recognizing you – even if he saw the resemblance, he grew up thinking his big brother’s dead, he must feel really confuse right now”

I knew she was right, but it wasn’t fair.

“I know” I whispered. I was so mad about the whole situation. “But it still hurts”

The way that I froze and he stared as if his eyes were knives on my chest. My left eye burnt and I felt my cheek wet. I touched it: a single tear shed.

“Touya” she hugged me and buried my face in her shoulder.

“Hana’s quirk is amazing,” I admitted as I felt more tears falling.

“She’s the best”, she agreed.

The last time I cried I was thirteen and set everything on fire, so I pulled away from her and did my best to calm down — but my eye burnt with each tear until it finally stopped. I supposed I burned my tear ducts again.

We stayed at the park for a couple hours, on the way home she reminded me to buy a box of condoms. Usually, we would take turns in the shower, she liked hot water and I liked it cold (my burnt flesh couldn’t stand hot water), but tonight she was clingy and tried to bathe with me.

“I can do this,” she said “I can do this! Tell me I can do this”

“You can’t”

Her naked body was shaking in front of me; I couldn’t lie to her face. She jumped out of the shower the next second and waited to get a hot shower.

“I’ll be working at home these next days,” she announced.

“That’s convenient”

Hana gave me strict instructions to avoid using my quirk for at least a week: “wear SPF 1,000,000 if possible or simply stay indoor during daytime, you’re my masterpiece right now, take care of your skin please,” she said.

“You didn’t leave,” she murmured, “I thought you’d leave me alone at the park”

“It crossed my mind,” I admitted “but I think I make the same mistake every time. I guess I should start doing things right”

“What does it mean? You’ll stay?”

I noticed the excitement in her voice; bit my lip.

“I might try”

Is it enough? I thought. She was settling for less than what she deserved once more.

“I’d like that” she said.

It was too late and she had to work tomorrow morning, but that did not stop us. I supposed I could never give her peace, but she was okay with that; or at least she was good at pretending it was okay.

Spending the day watching TV while she’s working wasn’t exactly my idea of staying with her, but I felt like a dog when I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder so I had to do something.

She was typing fast on her laptop, I examined her concentrated face, and it was a mixture of depression with a little rage.

“So… when will you take a break?” I asked her.

“Around ten, I hope”

Barely took her gaze away from the screen. She was sitting at the kitchen island, if I cook anything it would distract her and I didn’t want that.

“You should go back to bed and sleep well,” she mumbled.

“Maybe I will”

“Yeah, do that, hon, we can go for iced coffee later”

I looked at the coffee pot, it was big enough for twelve cups and it was already empty.

“Not sure about that, but okay”

I checked on my phone: nothing new. Thought about the possibilities of getting a real job, but I would need documentation.

I cannot recall when I fell asleep, but when I woke up again she was there by my side, peacefully resting with her eyes closed.

I guess I was wrong, I thought. A cozy feeling filled the bedroom; it wasn’t unfamiliar, there was nothing new after all this time but definitely felt different for the better. I tucked her closer to my chest and unintentionally woke her up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “go back to sleep”

“No, what time is it? I need to work” she mumbled and checked the clock “damn, five minutes, I’ll make coffee”

“I’ll cook something to eat”

She smiled and stroked my face tenderly.

“You should be a chef, hon”

“Right, as if I could get back all these years”

Or if I wanted that, I thought. Even if I could, that’s not what I wanted.

“I would invest all my money to open a place just for you. No one would know who you are, my love”

Her face glimmered; she really believed me when I said I’d stay. How could I ever live if I end up leaving again?

I wouldn’t, I thought, I’d have to die.

“Are you doing this for real?” I pulled her closer, “Are you planning a future with me?”

“I’ve been doing it for years, thank you for noticing” she said and kissed the tip of my nose. “Gotta work, hon, gotta work, gotta work”

She fled out of the room and I followed. When she was finally done with her schedule, we got ready to go out. I took a mask and she threw it off my hand.

“Don’t! I want to show off my boyfriend”

“Why?” I asked.

“Yesterday you took my hand and intertwined our fingers, you rarely do that. You tend to walk behind me as if you were about to mug me, but I think you gained confidence now — and I like it. Even if you burn your face again, stay by my side for the rest of my life, okay?”

“I might go back to black hair”

“I like that too. I like every single thing about you, are we clear?”

“Like water”

“Good, now let’s get drunk as fuck!”

She pulled my arm as we were leaving the apartment. In a million lives, I would never thank her enough for everything.

We went to a bar really far from where she lived, it was new to me, underground, and I saw a “no uninvited man allowed” sign as we crossed the door. I walked behind her, she went straight to the bartender and ordered a bottle of something and the bartender served many different colored shots.

“You’re kidding, you gotta work tomorrow!” I yelled so she could hear me above the music.

“You told me you’d stay! We gotta celebrate!” she shouted back and drank directly from the bottle.

“What’s that?!” I wanted to know, but I didn’t understand her, the music was too loud.

“Try this! It’s sweet!” she gave me a shot of whatever-neon-purple-beverage thing and she was right, it didn’t taste like alcohol at all “I love those, hon”

“I bet you do!”

She drank a couple of shots and I grabbed the bottle, it smelled like cheap booze, took a sip of it.

“It tastes like cheap booze,” I muttered.

“It IS booze!” she yelled and laugh, she looked dizzy already, “those are the good ones here!” she pointed at the counter and the fifteen different-colored shots she ordered were gone.

I saw her drunk a thousand times, something was wrong here. The bartender served her another shitty drink and I immediately took it away.

“What’s this?!” I yelled and smelled it, it smelled like a margarita but it didn’t look like it.

“That’s to dilute the shots! I’ve been here before, my love!”

She was acting like a teenager drinking for the first time, I didn’t like this, but the booze was fine and I’d take her home safely so I let it slide. She drag me to the dancefloor, she had a way to make everything around disappear when we were out, and so when she dances I just follow her lead.

This reminded me of one time she ordered tequila for the first time and some asshole tried to pull her away from me. She was still innocent back then, always trying on new things to avoid boredom.

She clung onto me and kissed me passionately. Her arms wrapped round my neck, her body fitting perfectly tighten to mine. Too affectionate to be in public, so I thought that was my sign.

“But we just got here!” she complained, but I wasn’t going to let her ruin her reputation publicly, not even for a minute.

It was cold outside; I gave her my jacket. We walked a little trying to get a cab.

“Touya, I’m fine,” she mumbled, “seriously, let’s go back, we barely spend thirty minutes…”

“You drank like a sailor in the first sixty seconds, how could you even measure time?”

When we finally found a taxi, I felt a little dizzy. The road turned to flashing lights; she squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi. The driver said something I barely remember.

I don’t know how or when we got home.

Suddenly we were making out in her bedroom, taking our clothes off. In a blink of an eye, she was riding me desperately, still half-naked, moaning out of pleasure and my shaky hands were touching her nipples.

I felt like the whole bedroom was moving.

I clawed my fingers on her hips, laid her down and lifted her legs; put her ankles on my shoulders and changed the pace, deeper and faster. She pulled my head down to kiss and bite my lips.

It felt like a dream. I don’t know when we finished or if we did it. Morning light came through the window, I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there. I picked up the clothes on the floor and made the bed — I didn’t find the condom.

She was on her laptop, wearing my shirt, a messy bun and big dark eye circles.

“Did you sleep?” I asked.

“Like three minutes,” she answered with husky voice.

She looked focused but I had to know.

“Hey, did you, by any chance, picked up the condom?”

“The what?” she looked at me, “I’m sloppy right now, sorry, what did you say?”

“The condom, I didn’t see it”

Silence. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth.

“Me neither” she murmured but I heard.

I felt shock; she froze.

“We — We’ve been reckless before” I tried to be calm but I stuttered, “I probably pulled out before…”

“You don’t remember?!” she reproached me.

“Oh, you’re one to talk! What was in those purple shits?”

“You mean shots”

“I meant what I said”

She rubbed her face with both hands.

“My love, I really don’t have time for this, let me clear this other mess first and then we’ll handle the other mess”, she said while typing again.

“Did you take a bath or…?”

“Do I look fresh to you?!” she freaked out, typed faster and loud. I saw the coffee machine was clean so I assumed she hadn’t have her morning coffee yet.

I walked cautiously in the kitchen, made a full meal and placed the plates and coffee as near to her as I thought it was reasonable; then I took a shower.

When I saw her again she looked better, still a mess but calm.

“How’s it going?” I asked from a safe distance.

“I got this” her tone was back to normal. I waited in the living room.

When she finally closed her laptop, she looked at me and gasped for air, ran her hand through her hair. I felt genuinely scared, but I didn’t show it.

“I have to sleep,” she said and teleported, she was that tired; she rarely used her quirk. I saw her in her bedroom: she was lying on her stomach, her face buried on the pillow. I laid by her side and tried to touch her hair but she caught my hand.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“I’m mad at me” she mumbled on the pillow, she rolled to her side and looked at me, “I’ve been there before; drink, dance, the usual, and then I would come home by myself; I know it’s an illegal bar but I thought it was a safe place for woman”

“Some places change when they gain a little popularity”

“And that single shot took you down too? What the fuck did they put in it? I liked them because they’re sweet”

“Maybe they had something”

She came closer and cuddled.

“Thank God you were there”

I wanted to bring back the condom topic — it itched my brain — but knowing that she has been there on her own before and this happened suddenly didn’t sit well. Maybe the other male clients were all accompanying their girlfriends but the bartender wasn’t — and he was a man, after all.

“Never go back there, ‘kay?” I said.

“Yep”

“From now on, we can celebrate like normal people,” I suggested. “We could buy cake and balloons if you want to celebrate that much”

“Really?” her eyes sparkled.

“Sure, it’ll be fun”

I wasn’t sure at all, but I tried at least for that one week to stop running with the wolves. I tried to settle down, but everynight at 2 A. M. I found myself staring at the ceiling.

I wondered how she does this everyday. On day five, I was losing my grip, I don’t know how I managed to keep my shit together; on day six, I dyed my hair black.

Seventh day arrived; she looked at me and asked:

“Will you go out today?”

“I have to make some money”

“How?” she wanted to know, but I wouldn’t tell. I never told her before, I wouldn’t tell her now. “Will you come back?”

I wanted to say “yes” but I didn’t wanna lie. Realization crossed her gaze.

“Old habits die hard,” she mumbled disappointed and picked up the plates. “Way to go, tiger”

“I’m coming back,” I said but she didn’t look at me.

“This happens all the time,” she continued and it cut deep; she was upset as if I was already gone.

“That’s not fair,” I said.

“You don’t get to tell me what’s fair, Toya!” she reproached me: “Do you wanna know what’s unfair? The fact that… you – out of all people – discard me all the time”

That really pissed me off.

“Shut up”

“I knew it was too good to be true”

“You want me to stay here? I gotta work too, I have to make my own money! I’m not gonna live out of your income as if I was your bitch, this is already your place filled with your stuff…”

“You can bring stuff too”

“That is not what I mean, damn, you’re being so stupid!”

I wasn’t thinking when I said it, but I regretted immediately; her eyes widened and she came to me as if she was gonna kick my balls, I grabbed both her arms and hugged her.

“No, I didn’t mean it”

She bit my shoulder so hard I wept a little.

“Touya, if you don’t come back…”

“I’m obsessed with you,” I interrupted her “I’ll see you later”

We parted ways outside the building, she went to work and I –after sending some messages- went to make my own money too. On my way, I saw some kids on their way to school, it freaked me out because I forgot about the lost condom and she probably forgot too.

“Did you get your period?” sent.

She was writing… and writing… and writing…

“No, Touya, I’m not on those days of the month” Read.

By now, I wasn’t sure if she was using my real name because she was pissed or because I requested it a week ago. I felt sick and fucked up. I thought about us pushing a stroller and threw up on the street.

People avoided me in a circle; some hero clown came to me and asked:

“Are you okay, boy?”

“Get off my face!”

He tried to put his hand on me but I managed to get away; I put on a mask and mixed with the crowd.

When I arrived to the headquarters, the morons I worked with were being too cautious as I expected; I covered my face but my neck was uncovered.

“Who the fuck are you?” my boss asked.

“Dabi”

“Take that stupid mask off, are you sick?” he asked and I took the mask off, “What the fuck happened to you?”

“I cashed in a favor” I lied.

“That’s not your real face, don’t lie, you look like a pretty kid” he smirked and laughed.

“Where’s the idiot you need me to handle? I gotta go”

“Sure, after that little vacation you just had, see if I care”

After a good amount of bravado, I went with other two morons to handle a few poor souls that didn’t pay in time. I told the others that when I got my payment, I would quit, so they’d have to find their own way to handle their clients.

“What do you mean you quit? No one quits here” said moron one.

“Funny, I just did” I smirked.

“You think the boss doesn’t know where you go when you disappear? We all know” said moron two.

“So what?”

“So what?!” both of them were surprised. I hated them.

“He’ll send somebody after your little girlfriend. Think!” said moron one.

I thought about it a million times before.

“No one can touch her” I said.

If we move out.

“What do you mean?” asked moron two.

If I warn her.

“None of you would be able to catch her, plus the boss won’t send anybody after her, she’s not the reason I quit”

If I protect her. She’ll be alright.

“Sure, you just got that surgery on your face and now you quit. You probably think you can straighten your life, but…” moron one started a whole monologue I wasn’t even gonna pretend I was hearing.

Her dad’s a big fish too, I thought, she’s well covered even if I’m not with her.

“Dabi, is she pregnant?” moron two asked me and caught me off guard. He burst a laugh “Holy shit, she is pregnant”

“You’re soooo fucked up” moron one joined him.

“In that case, I think you may quit. Our boss is a family man after all”

He wasn’t a family man, he had a family with his first ex-wife but their kids were all grown and he was married to a fourth wife now. They mocked me all the way back to our boss’ office.

“Let me be there when you tell him you’re quitting, I wanna see you get fuck” they laughed then, but kept quiet when I told our boss this was the last time I’d do this for a living.

The big old man looked at me, made a face and gasped for air.

“Come with me, man,” he commanded with a serious tone in his voice, he usually calls me kid; I followed him in silence. “I think I know what’s going on here and let me tell you something you need to know”

He thinks my girlfriend’s pregnant too, I thought. He wasn’t gonna get my guard off too. He brought a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

“Marriage isn’t that great” he said and poured the whiskey. My mind went completely blank. “Woman these days! They are… insufferable! Especially if they have quirks, it makes them think they don’t need you but they want you to give them everything you have”

I had no words and he had a whole speech prepared apparently, so I just listened and drank the whiskey.

“I know I’m not your father but my eldest is almost your age,” he said in a sentimental tone, “sometimes I just see him in you”

“We’re good,” I mumbled and he poured some more whiskey.

“So tell me, when’s the date?”

I drank the whiskey as if it was water.

“I’m not getting married,” I answered.

He looked at me perplexed for a second.

“Get the fuck out of here”

I stood up and walked to the door.

“Hey Dabi, if you ever need quick-cash, just send me a message”

I just nodded.

It was dark outside; I wondered if she was still at her workplace.

“Want a coffee?” Sent.

“I’m good” Read.

She sent a picture, she was at her favorite coffee shop, near her building. I hurried to meet her there, but couldn’t find her so I called her.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“At the park”

I hurried again to find her. She was sitting alone with a bottle in her hand, she was drinking soju now — it was strawberry flavored — I took it when I sat next to her.

“You came,” she mumbled a little sad.

“I told you I would and you should be careful of whatever you eat or drink until you get your period, missy”

“Hey, my grandma sent me that”

“I don’t give a fuck”

She didn’t fight back, laid her head on my shoulder.

“Were you drinking?” she asked.

“A little”

“Darling” she whispered, “We need to leave the apartment”

I tried to look at her but she kept her head down.

“We’ll find a place”

“No, I mean right now, my mother got us evicted”

“Oh”

So that’s why she was drinking, I thought. I wondered where all of her stuff was.

[bewarethewolfarmy]

Musical Heart and Soul

(I warn you boys and girls: this one is a doozy. But hopefully it comes across as cute and fluffy to you as it was for me.

Chapter Seven: Mission in the Dark )

“You want to learn magic?” Nel's tone was somewhere between confused and mildly amused, the goddess raising one eyebrow as she regarded Erik from across the kitchen table.

It was early morning and the trio were currently having breakfast, Tsuki cooking them french toast and omelettes, humming some soft lyricless tone as she worked. Nel had been conversing with Erik and asked him what he felt like doing that day; it appeared that there was nothing of particular importance scheduled for the day, just the usual relaxation and quiet. At times Erik wondered what Tsuki did, in charge of this large Library where no one else seemed to visit and disappearing on occasion to do something she never actually explained but that sometimes she came back seeming more tired or almost sadder than when she had left. It worried him more often than not but Nel always told him it was fine and would go to talk to Tsuki for a time before both would return to him. It always seemed to pass and he never quite felt like he could ask about what was going on, especially when Tsuki would soon enough go back to being her cheerful warm self with him.

As she questioned his request he frowned a bit and shifted some in his seat, feeling awkward about it. Maybe it was too much, maybe it was presumptuous to ask? He wasn't too sure but he hoped that if so it would be forgiven and forgotten quickly enough so as to not negatively affect their opinion of him.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Of course the voice of encouragement would be Tsuki who gave a smile as she served them breakfast, her scarlet eyes glittering with something strangely akin to mischief, “And a lot of fun too I'm sure.”

Nel glanced at her then took a bite of french toast, hummed delightedly and nodded. “I agree. And honestly I'm a bit surprised it took so long for you to ask.”

Erik blinked a few times and then realized that he did that a lot with these two. They just had such a gift for surprising him and contradicting his expectations. “You...you don't mind?”

“Why would we mind?” Nel asked looking at him, “We've told you before: you never ask us for anything, you act like it would be a bad thing to do so as if you could possibly inconvenience us. We don't mind you asking us for things or making requests of us, we want to make you comfortable and truth be told considering the method by which you obviously found yourself here, again I'm surprised it took you even this long as to ask about learning magic properly.”

He frowned slightly and Tsuki chuckled, taking her seat between the two. “What she means of course is that we expected this request sooner and would have always happily granted it. It's obvious magic is what brought you here and thus you have to have an untapped gift for it that should be nurtured.”

He wondered if he should bring up that it wasn't just his gift, that he had done that before and in both times it wasn't his voice alone that bridged the gap of time and space. That something in both of them resonated to bring them together and thus maybe it wasn't his gift at all, not his skill but hers. But to do so would be to bring up the forbidden in his eyes, the dream of so many years ago, and he would not, could not do that. He had to bite it back and instead nod as if in agreement. “A gift I am sure you two could teach me much about I hope.”

“Leave it to us, Erik, we'll teach you all we know about magic,” Nel said with a smile and a wink, “As well as anything else you might want to learn.”

For whatever reason her words made him blush some and Tsuki giggled, shaking her head. There was a gentleness to the exchange, a warm sort of sense that made him unable to help a small smile of his own. Then again the two women always seemed to know how to put him enough at ease that he never truly worried for long. This time, this morning, was no different in the end.

After breakfast concluded, an affair that mainly involved eating but had moved onto to other talking topics of the day to keep them all some level of interacting, Erik and the two women found themselves standing in the Library, right above the massive mural of the forest that still seemed to call out to him every time he let his eye move to it. The symbols once more drew his eye and he wondered for the hundredth, thousandth time what they were, what they meant, but for once he felt in the moment that they were secrets he might start to know now.

“So how shall we start?” asked Nel, the goddess sitting on one of the nearby tables and looking over to Tsuki.

The woman herself had a book in hand, either skimming or actually reading through it, he was not entirely sure which it was. She did not look up, seeming engrossed at the moment in whatever she was looking at, and after a second or so of waiting Nel sighed and spoke a bit louder, “Tsuki my dear?”

Tsuki squeaked and jumped and Erik tried his best not to laugh. There was something cute in her startled expression and while Nel chuckled happily, he felt it would be wrong if he did so too. Especially as Tsuki's expression quickly went from surprise to annoyance and she puffed her cheeks out in a pout. “What's so funny?”

“You are, as always,” Nel said fondly, “Again, how do you think we should start?”

“Erik probably needs a little bit of background on what magic is and what types there are,” Tsuki said then paused, thought for a moment, and continued, “Not all of them, just the important ones.”

“I think I can handle that much,” the goddess said with a wink and then turned to Erik, “Alright let's see, to start....”

She seemed to think over it over a moment, leaving both Erik and Tsuki to just watch her. Nel eventually nodded and began.

“Ask a thousand gods of the thousand pantheons and they will each have their own story of the origins of magic. The truth is no one knows.” She put her hands out and he felt his eyes be drawn to the mural, to the forest, to the tree, to the symbols. They seemed to glow, he could feel them in his bones, in his breath, and he felt Tsuki grab his hand as if to steady him.

Nel continued. “Magic is....everything, and it's nothing, and it's the things inbetween as well. It's as much void as it is form, it exists in the air, in the flowing water, the raging fire, in the still mountains and moving trees, in every animal and every sentient being as well. Some say it exists only in a few, but I call bull on that. Those same people often say only a few should use it. But my eyes, my eyes see the truth. I see the flow of magic everywhere and I know that it is a part of every one of us from the smallest insect to the more annoying god. It simply is, but in some people admittedly, some have more than others.”

The goddess' eyes were glowing, a dim light that made his heart ache as she looked at him, but soon enough as she spoke her gaze turned to Tsuki and there, as it often did, it seemed to soften. This time though Erik felt like there was more, knew there was more; her gaze was not softer or different in any real way but it was like she was as much looking through Tsuki as she was looking at her. The scarlet eyed woman flushed and fidgeted a bit where she stood before holding out her free hand, still holding him, and humming softly. It was soft and warm, and he felt the strong compulsion to join her though he could not pinpoint the melody. Yet this was derailed by what he saw from the corner of his eye: movement of shadows, smooth and flowing to pool around her. His eyes widened and suddenly he remembered the cellar, how his leg had gotten grabbed by what had appeared to be darkness, something he had wanted to dismiss as simply a flight of fancy, yet he saw shadows move again and he was unable to help but look at Tsuki and wonder.

If she noticed his stare she did not speak, focused as she was elsewhere. As Erik looked next back to Nel he saw light forming around her hands, sparkling and uneven but light nevertheless. She smiled and played with it. “The main thing to know is that at it's very core magic is split into two camps: there is magic which is inherent within the wielder and magic that is external. External types of magic include pacts with greater beings, whether that be a deal with a devil or a pact with an elder god. Beings like Birdbrain will often create a pactbond with their preferred followers and lend their strength to them though it oftentimes comes with side effects that they don't exactly rush to explain to the poor souls. There's also familiar contracts which essentially do the same thing and are external magic but depending on the type the consequences of them can be borderline nonexistent for the contractor.”

Erik felt Tsuki's hand tighten in his and he wasn't sure why. Still he squeezed back in response and turning to look at her gave her the best smile he could muster, though it was an awkward unsteady thing. The one she gave back was sad but appreciative; he wondered if he would ever know the reason behind it.

“Other types of external magic are mana wielders, individuals who tap into the magical energy of nature to do their spells, and astral energy manipulators who can make use of the astral energy given off by living beings by way of living. The benefit of external types is that they can be pretty powerful pretty quick but they can't be separated from their source without losing that power, and there's a stagnation to their abilities; even among those who tap into the otherwise limitless power of nature, there is only so much that they can do with it themselves and no amount of training will ever be able to change that. Getting power by making a pact with Birdface can get you his power but never more than that without making more pacts, and many gods, like Chickenman, don't appreciate sharing as much as a benevolent and gracious goddess such as myself does. But I don't trust Living KFC so he can't get close enough to make a pact with Tsuki.”

Tsuki actually giggled and Erik had to bite back a laugh again as Nel proceeded to call Thoth by multiple names other than his actual one. Something that the phantom was certain would have had the strange god's feathers in a knot, not that he much cared. He still remembered how uncomfortable it had been meeting him, the discomfort, the unease. If to torment that pompous disgrace then Erik would say nothing and disapprove none.

“And what of inherent magic?” Curiosity though took the better of him and the intrigue of this lesson had Erik wanting to hear more.

Nel smiled at his eagerness as did Tsuki beside him, squeezing his hand once more. The goddess played some more with the light and let it snake around her arm. “Those born with magic in their blood and souls are as countless as the stars in the sky and as varied as the words for love. They are blessed and cursed with the promise of power, and are those in whom the energy gathered enough to be able to tap into without need of some outside source to use it, but the ways they use it and the names they call themselves are innumerable. I've met multiple in my life and most had souls that shimmered and glowed with their power, though none glowed quite as bright as my lady of the shadows and few as delicately as you.”

Erik felt his face flush. Delicate, him? The term never before had been used to describe him, not even by those who actually seemed to think of him as friend or at least ally. A monster yes, a walking corpse, an unwanted thing, capable of murder and violence, an angel of music, an angel of death, but delicate was never on that short list of words to describe the one who called himself Erik. He wanted to refute it, deny that this could be in any way possible, but her eyes pinned him down and he found all words fail him, unable but to stare back into those glowing golden eyes and try to remember how to breathe.

“I suspect I know what kind of magic he is born with,” Tsuki said softly, hand still holding to his, “I don't have your sight but I can hear it.”

Nel smiled gently at Tsuki and nodded. “The melody of the soul is it not? A fascinating ability of a rare breed though can we be certain if he can't hear it himself.”

“Hear what?” Erik asked feeling like a child, searching for answers from beings far more knowledgeable than himself.

Tsuki's hand tightened in his and he turned to her, looked into her eyes now. She looked serious yet hopeful, strange how that was. As if there was something valuable to her here, that something she had been waiting for was just within grasp, if only....if only...

“Erik, can you hear it?” It was a soft question, half whispered, half pleaded. He wasn't sure at first what she meant but he found himself trying anyway. He kept his eyes on her but he opened his ears and he listened, really listened. And he felt the essence within him, the one that had called him to sing in that housing building during his mission, was drawn into the symbols on the mural, that he realized now he'd felt once before so very long ago, when a slither of faith and hope had still lived within the small deformed boy locked in a cage for all to see like the monster he was. When he'd glance up on occasion to catch someone's eye and hear not their voice but something else, something indescribable, something deep.

What he heard looking at her was a string of notes that lilted and swirled, a symphony that echoed not against walls or ceilings but against his very soul. It was a song, desperate for something, wanting something: connection, familiarity, to not be alone, to not be the only one. It was tinged with love and with care, with an attachment to someone near but it felt like it was searching for something else. To not be alone, to not be the only one. It felt familiar to him and he stared, wide eyed and uncertain what to make of it, because he felt like he knew it so well. It was like a reflection, a memory, and not simply the dream either.

He started to hum, unable he found to stop himself of his own accord or recognizance. This went beyond mere music, it was compulsion, it was heartbeats, it was the soul itself. And he watched, as he slowly moved to wordless song, her eyes light up, that sound pulse with something he felt was happiness, and she joined him, their voices mixing as easily as it had once upon a rainy night.

The light around Nel's arm glowed brighter and slithered away from her though the goddess neither worked to stop it nor minded. She watched as it swirled around the two and light met shadow, dancing about their feet as they sang something without words, without meaning but with emotion that dug deep within the soul. She smiled, her eyes twinkling as to her she saw all the wisps and movements, the manifestations of magic given form to her and her alone; what a beautiful painting it was.

Tsuki placed a finger to his lips and Erik stopped, the music stopped, whatever this was stopped. The phantom blinked and stared and still heard the music until she spoke softly, “You can pull back now, you don't need to listen any longer.”

He didn't quite understand yet at the same time he did. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He remembered being young and the pain and how at some point, one day, it just hurt too much to keep his heart open like that any more. The beatings, the taunts, the cruelty. But she and Nel were giving him none of that, simply a gentle statement. He need not listen so openly any longer to know that though so much inside him wanted to.

“What....” he spoke softly.

Nel smiled. “The melody of the soul, that's what I've always heard it called. Just as my eyes see the truth, can see magic in the air and know it, know when someone is lying and when they are trying to hide, there are those who can hear the essence of other's souls. To them it comes through like music, changing with their emotions, their lives, their thoughts and needs.”

“The core never changes though,” Tsuki said, “The inherent essence within, that drives the song and forms it, makes us us. Yoru no koe are born with the ability to hear the melody and a compulsion to respond to it though as you might notice, we can make it so we don't always hear it; we can stop listening and close off our hearts to it, otherwise it can very easily drive us mad especially in a city like this.”

“Yoru no koe,” he repeated the term, feeling how foreign it felt on his tongue but not entirely wrong.

“It means voice of the night,” Nel spoke drawing attention back to her; he turned his head and saw the light move again, unaware of it's initial wrapping around him and Tsuki but now seeing it's return to the goddess, “The term used for the extremely rare type of magic both of you share. Most types and specialities are hereditary, passed through bloodlines and seen through various members of family; some clans even use that as a way to verify lost members though the number of individuals who might inherit their familal magic varies greatly depending. But special types like the yoru no koe are a different story; it's not tied to bloodlines in the same way. It manifests almost randomly, throughout time, throughout families, throughout the world.”

“My father had it too which is how I know most of what I do about it,” Tsuki said still smiling, “But as far as I know we were the first ones in countless generations to express the power; the fact both he and I did was a miracle and for a long time I've been the only one but now...”

Erik understood now he felt. That desperate wish he'd heard, that wanting to not be alone. This was what she had wanted: for Erik to prove to be like her, another yoru no koe. He thought of what that meant of her father who she spoke of in past tenses, he wondered what that meant of the years she had to have spent alone. He understood that and could not help a smile of his own in retun.

“Please teach me more.” They had just started, he knew this, but the slight plea in his voice was hard to control. He wanted to know more, for maybe in knowing he might understand himself better but more than that he found, he might understand and become closer to the two girls as well: Nel who seemed to know so much about magic and Tsuki who shared this rarity with him.

This seemed to please them both and with great hesitation, Tsuki let go of him to step back. Nel chuckled and crossed one leg over the other. “This is where I leave it to the actual expert then. After all who better than one who has the magic to teach you about it?”

“Thank you though Nelly for explaining so much beforehand,” Tsuki said beaming at the goddess who in return simply smiled and blew her a kiss.

Then she took a breath and hummed again, a clearer more concrete sound but still he could not place the melody. The shadows started to surge and crawl up her body which terrified him at first but seeing this she looked down then smiled. “Oh before I start I should likely explain that. In addition to being a yoru no koe, I have an added ability. As Nel stated before, my soul radiates light quite brightly, honestly when we first met she used to tease me about trying to blind her all the time. But the result is that my elemental affinity, the element my magic most resonates with and takes the form of, is shadows: they're drawn to me like moths to a flame, or rather the darkness to the light. Ever since I was born, they have acted somewhat automously to a degree, protecting and acting for me; I can control them directly but sometimes they do what they want so....”

She blushed, an embarrassed expression crossing her face as she sheepishly looked at him. “Its a bit late but I really should apologize for them scaring you in the cellar. They really didn't mean to, they were just trying to help me find where you were and I guess they got a bit overzealous.”

He blinked and watched as the shadows, almost like an affectionate cat, seemed to rub against her fingers, curl around her hands and arms but never with a sense of actual danger to her. It was strange to watch for a man who had only learned of magic by accidentally time traveling yet fascinating to the same man who loved and yearned to learn more and more. At the same time it also felt odd, being apologized to; it always seemed to be him doing something that needed to be forgiven, him making some mistake or causing some problem that just proved what kind of person he really was. A monster, a problem, a danger, unworthy, undeserving.

Yet she apologized to him, this sweet woman who treated him like he actually was a human, a normal one that wasn't deformed inside and out. And she looked at him abashed, afraid, that in some way he might be upset about it, be upset with her. It was a strange place to be for him, this position of admitted power when he did not ask for it nor want it but there they were and he tried to think of how to answer, what to say to her.

“I hold no grudge over that, I assure you of that Tsuki,” he said in a slow manner, less out of hesitation to accept and more of a confusion of having to; he pulled on his hood, “I know you would not mean me harm now and that is of the past now. Though I do appreciate your wishing to apologize to me.”

Was that the right way to go about it? Now he felt sheepish, wondering if he had accepted her apology correctly, or if he had just made her feel worse in his awkward attempt to respond to her words. There was a small chuckle of laughter nearby and he turned to see Nel covering her mouth with her hand though her eyes were crinkled with amusement.

He flushed and turned away again, clearing his voice. “Do all yoru no koe have elemental affinities?”

“Honestly no one knows,” Tsuki said seeming to be happy for the return to the main topic, “We're such a rare breed that information about our type of magic is pretty limited; I know what I know because of my father but he died when I was little and until I met Nel I had never come across anyone else who knew anything about us.”

“Even with my long life I've only ever come across one or two with the gift,” Nel said still smiling behind her hand, “I never got too close to them; gods of music tend to flock to them like moths to a flame, fools like Apollo and Bragi and the like loooove to say they created them but that's all hogwash if you ask me. Yoru no koe are special souls, born with their gift, not some poor sap granted a 'boon' by one of those fickle, perverted, lazy gods. But it doesn't change the fact that the unique relationship you have with music and magic makes for difficulty in getting those types away; honestly coming across Tsuki the way I did I feel incredibly lucky and would happily fight any of the other gods if they tried to take her.”

“Considering the barrier around the Library, I'd say you have proven that quite well, Nelly,” Tsuki said with a giggle and Erik had to smile and agree; he had no doubt Nel would do it if it was for Tsuki, something that made him feel a little jealous to be truthful. The two were so close, so connected, and while they welcomed him into their little world, he couldn't help but feel like an outsider. Like he always was, as he always would be he figured.

Tsuki then looked at Erik again and continued. “I know my father had one but our family lineage had a history of such so that's unlikely to be connected to being yoru no koe. And the elemental affinity isn't really the important thing; I just figured I'd explain about the moving shadows, especially since they do intertwine a lot with my magic as it is.”

“I appreciate it, Tsuki,” he told her with a sincere smile.

“So about the yoru no koe, where to begin?” She paused for a moment, seeming to be thinking deeply of what to say next; her thinking expression was cute he decided and he watched her diligently until her eyes lit up and her smile brightened further, “Ah yes, well, to start with yoru no koe magic is extremely powerful for multiple reasons. Every type of magic has it's strengths and weaknesses; infernal magic is highly destructive but bad at healing, elementalists are restricted to their element or if lucky elements but can become very powerful using such, witches and wizards theoretically can use any spell they wish but they need to find the right words for them, manatsukai can manipulate the universe with their words but only if they have the necessary will to enforce that. Yoru no koe though is less restricted; like manatsukai, who I suspect we are closely related to, we bend reality to our wishes but it's less a battle of wills for us and more a battle of hearts. Our emotions, our souls, our deep desires and heartfelt wishes, those pour through our song; the words of the song don't matter, aren't the most important thing though matched them to intent can make a world of difference in solidifying effect, but the intent beyond the melody is very much so. We can't enact effect without it. In addition we can use magic outside of using music to direct it though it will always be weaker than what we can do when we use our abilities.”

As if to show this she reached out and the shadows moved out, spreading around the room. Erik watched as slowly, carefully, books lifted from tables, out of shelves, and started to float about lazily. Nel too observed with a calm smile as they started to form a carefully rotating circle around the three of them. His eyes never left them, fascinated as he was, and after Tsuki seemed convinced he understood she wiggled her index and middle fingers slightly, the books returning to where they had been before.

She hummed softly and his attention returned immediately to her. “Though the name is 'voice of the night', yoru no koe can use their magic through any way that creates music. My father was a gifted singer but he also could create amazing effects upon the world by playing his violin as well.”

“Even playing the piano or organ?” Erik knew that was a stupid question but he felt stupid already. An entire world, an entire reality, one he was always a part of apparently but never knew before.

For her part Tsuki did not laugh at him, just continued to smile in that gentle way of hers. “Yes. For people like us, the ability often manifests automatically when we do indulge in music, at least until we learn how to better control the flow of magic. A common way it shows is in other people; yoru no koe have an uniquely strong power over others because of how much our emotions and wants and needs bleed into our magic.”

“First time I heard Tsuki sing I nearly got hypnotized, me the goddess of truth,” Nel said though her tone was strangely fond, “It was like listening to the purest expression of life, I could barely bring myself to keep from weeping openly.”

Tsuki flushed in embarrassment. “It's not uncommon for an unexperienced but powerful yoru no koe to accidentally ensnare someone with their song; if the sirens of Greek myth were real then surely they would be like us.”

“Oh they certainly are and they can't hold a candle to your song, Tsuki,” Nel stated which only seemed to make Tsuki more flustered.

Erik was only half listening though, his heart and soul feeling ice cold for a moment. All he could think of again was Christine, how often he'd sung to her, how enthralled she had seemed by his song, his playing, his music. The music of the night, from one who had the voice of the night, and he felt his stomach sink to think of the implications. Had he accidentally been using his power on her then, to hypnotize her, to entrance her? Tsuki stated that their emotions and desires played an important part in how their magic worked, more so than any of the words they used, and hadn't his been for Christine, to have her, to keep her, for her to love him and wish to be there with him? To think he might have been, on accident or not, using magic on her to make her his upset him deeply; he had wanted her to give herself willingly to him, to want him because she felt it was right not because it was his will. His last moments with her, the kidnapping during Don Juan and the ultimatum involving Raoul, all of that had been a desperation but in the end he had always known he couldn't have possibly kept her like that. His love for her was too great, her happiness too important. Yet even without meaning he might have almost undermined himself with power he didn't even know he had; it made their final minutes together, those kisses, those looks, that deep down he had been clinging tightly to in hopes of feeling like he hadn't maybe destroyed every good thing about their bond, it tainted them, corrupted them, and left him feel weak and terrified.

Perhaps all this showed on what could be seen on his face, or maybe it was in his soul that apparently Nel could see into and Tsuki could hear. But he felt arms around him and someone stroking his hair through his hood, and something in it made him just feel....maybe not comforted but like it was a start.

“There's nothing inherently wrong with the purity of emotion causing mistakes,” Tsuki said softly, stroking his hair all the more, “That though is why it's good you are showing interest in learning about magic, about what you can do. That way you can learn how to better control it and not repeat those mistakes.”

“All magic users go through the wild magic stage, where their power can't be entirely controlled and causes trouble around them,” Nel added, continuing to hold him in her arms, “Even us gods are not as perfect as we may wish to appear to mortals; I should tell you some of the stories I know of the other Norse gods' pasts, some of it is hilarious. The important thing is that we learned and so can you.”

“...Thank you.” It felt like the only correct response to this kindness and care. Still something in him still felt wrong about what he had done and knew he would not be able to forget this, nor should he, but it would certainly not be right to ignore and dismiss their kindness in trying to reassure him.

Neither girl spoke for a moment and he was acutely aware of them watching him during that time. It made him flush some and was both thankful and hit by loneliness and longing when they pulled away from him. They didn't move too far but the loss of physical touch made him feel sad and he had to stop himself from reaching out to one or both of them, grab onto them and pull them close. He resisted though.

“Anyway how about some practice then? I know you have the gift and it's just a matter of learning how to use and manipulate it. The easiest way is to match word to intent,” Tsuki said and held out a hand, “Like this.”

She took a deep breath and then started to sing. He knew that voice, he knew it from his dream, he knew it from his arrival here, he knew it from moments before when they had both allowed their voices to mix to that mysterious and ethereal song he swore he had heard, but in the moment when Erik was trying to learn and observe, he allowed himself to truly listen to it. It was sweet and light, reminding him of the gentleness of a breeze, the soft light of the moon as it shines through the night; beautiful at it's core but unrefined as well, she did not have the professional edge he had honed in Christine nor the crisp sharp confidence of Carlotta's voice. This was the voice of someone who loved to sing, lived to sing, for whom music was within every breath and fiber but who never had been given the chance to learn how to hone her song to elevate it. A diamond in the rough but one nevertheless that drew the attention and made him want again to sing with her though he knew not the words to this song, sung as they were in a different language altogether. Just that it was soft and danced, clearly a children's song with it's easy repetition and playful tune. Still coming from her it was lovely. “Karasu naze nakuno, karasu wo yama ni. Kawaii nanatsu no ko ga aru kara yo. Kawaii kawaii to, karasu wa nakuno. Kawaii kawaii to nakundayo...”

Beside him he heard Nel whispering words at the same time, a translation he suspected but barely paid mind to as he watched what was unfurling, “Mother crow, why do you squawk so? Because high on the mountain I have seven cute children. 'Cute, cute,' this mother crow sings. 'Cute, cute,' cries the mother crow...”

As Tsuki sang the the shadows pulsed and he could have swore pinpricks of light shone within the darkness. But his eyes widened, drawn forward as he watched shadows form in her hands, taking the form of a black bird, a crow, that took flight and flew about the room. As Tsuki sang seven smaller forms followed, taking the form of seven smaller crows that followed after their 'mother'; the mother crow cawed and left feathers in her wave and Erik was tempted to believe them a trick, an illusion, something, but they were truly birds, he knew this, and they were truly there and Tsuki, Tsuki had truly brought them to life. Eight crows that flew about and rose high, illuminated by the pure blue sky that could be seen through the glass ceiling, backed by the sunlight and looking....

Erik could find no other word to describe it but beautiful. Tsuki repeated the song two more times, allowing the crows to fly and flutter, one of the babies even deigning to land on Erik's shoulder to peck at his clothes before seeming to be called back to join it's siblings and parent in encircling Tsuki as she finished the last repetition. They continued to fly about her even as she stopped and with a gentle smile and an whisper that he could not quite make out she gestured upwards and the crows took off towards the ceiling again. Erik watched with fascination as they seemed to faze through the ceiling and out into the open air.

Nel started to clap and the phantom found himself speechless and taken off guard. He stumbled a little but joined the goddess in the applause, staring at Tsuki with renewed awe. It had been such an amazing thing to him who had had no interaction with true magic before; stage magic yes, tricks of light and smoke and engineering that he himself had performed for his own amusement and the occasional amusement or detriment of others at his own whim, but this was not that. It left sparks in his veins and he felt excited he found by it, drawn by her voice but amazed by the things she could do. “Bravissimo.”

“Thank you,” Tsuki said to them both, her face pink as she tucked some errant strands of hair behind her ear, “Though I assure you that was just a small demonstration. You should be able to pull that sort of little thing off in no time, Erik, I assure you.”

“Both your angelic singing and your demonstration of magic was absolutely beautiful, Tsuki,” Erik said, unable to resist the urge to compliment her; her face brightened further and he smiled, “Though unrefined, your voice filled the air with delicacy and warmth. And though you say that was a small thing, to one such as I that was a marvel, a feat I could not have dreamed of before. To bring forth new life, to control it so, it was awe inspiring!”

Tsuki squeaked and the shadows seemed to crawl around her legs, trying to encase her. Beside him Nel chuckled though she covered her mouth as if to try to hide that fact; still amusement again was in those golden eyes of hers. Erik though didn't seem to much mind and stepped forward, giving a deep bow. “Please, show me how; if this is something I too can attempt then allow me to attempt.”

It had been a while since last he felt so excited by learning something new but he found his heart racing in the aftermath. All this, the magic, the mystery, the possibilities all stirred something within him and he wanted to know more. It felt somehow right, like this was meant to be, and if she was right about them having the same sort of magic, then perhaps indeed it was. But there was another layer to it that he was aware of in some small way; her voice which called to him, that reminded him of his dream and what had happened once before. He wanted to hear more of it and to harmonize with it once more, for his mind might have forgotten for some time but hearing it again, singing with it once more, he found his heart had never forgotten. She was no Christine but something there still called to him.

“Erik,” she whispered in response, sounding startled.

A hand rested on his back and he straightened to look at Nel, her golden eyes glowing and her smile warm and inviting. She spoke with fondness and care, “You fool, we already told you we'd be teaching you magic. No need to ask again.”

“R-right,” he stammered and blushed as he realized that of course she was right.

For a moment there was awkwardness then a laugh broke the air, clear and delighted. He turned his head to look at Tsuki once more to find her face lit up with delight. He flushed with embarrassment but she simply smiled at him and shook her head. “Oh Erik, what will we ever do with you?”

He couldn't quite read the emotion in the way she spoke but it made him feel strangely shy and he pulled on his hood, before muttering an apology. Nel shook her head and turned to look at Tsuki with a knowing look.

After that the girls got to work on teaching Erik what they knew of magic for what left like minutes but based on the movement of the sun above them would appear to have indeed been hours. Tsuki took the lead in this, showing him how to focus, how to direct his thoughts, how to feel the magic within him. It felt a bit awkward to him but when he had drawn forth light with his voice, he could not deny the utter thrill that filled his body watching it shine in his outreached hand. Nel and Tsuki too seemed absolutely delighted as well and both had congratulated and hugged him with enthusiasm and warmth, nearly knocking his hood off his head.

It was getting into, strangely enough, late afternoon when Tsuki placed a hand on Erik's shoulder. “Alright I do think that's enough for today.”

He frowned some, disappointed. He wanted to learn more, try more; it felt like they had just gotten into it and now they had to stop? It felt unfair and cruel to him, to tear him away from something that he felt so happy doing.

As if reading his face Nel spoke up. “If we do too much at once you'll just exhaust yourself, I can promise you that. Magic takes time and diligence, one needs to take it slowly at first to learn or else you'll risk overwhelming yourself and possibly ending up causing yourself physical harm in the process. Or worse.”

The way she said 'or worse' made his stomach drop and Erik straightened up immediately, nodding at her words. “I understand, Nel.”

She looked at him and bit her lip before reaching up to touch his cheek, an action that made him both jump and wish desperately to lean in. What was it with these two and the way they touched his cheek that made him yearn so? “Don't make that face, Erik. I would never allow anything to happen to one of my favorite humans; I only have two of you after all.”

“Hey I wouldn't allow anything to happen to Erik either,” Tsuki said pouting and Nel chuckled at her expression.

“Of course not. How about to make it up to him you can show him that special place, you know the one?” Erik felt confused and looked from one woman to the other.

Tsuki blinked a few times then her pout intensified, coming this time with a small huff. “How could you, reading my mind like that.”

Nel smiled and moved to stand beside Tsuki, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Because I know you so well.”

This it seemed made it hard for Tsuki not to smile though it was clear she was trying to nevertheless. Erik, used as he was now to the two's interactions, smiled as well and nodded. “I would certainly be curious to see what it is you have in mind to show me.”

“Then follow me.” Tsuki gestured and headed off, her steps a little faster and more impatient than he could ever remember seeing her be before. She reminded him a little of Meg suddenly; he did not know the daughter of his primary opera ally Madame Giry too well but he had seen her more than a few times and knew that unlike Christine, gentle, sweet, but composed of some sadness and longing of her own that made her seem simultaneously seem older and younger all at once, Meg was the picture of a child in her prime, free and innocent but without a real fear in her head. Even as she spoke of the Phantom of the Opera, Erik had always found it more tinged with impish delight than real fear; he had wondered more than once if her mother had told her of their connection and Meg in her own way had chosen then to act as his impromptu herald, ensuring the rest of the company knew to fear him without being unkind about it like Joseph Buquet had been. That thought, as well as her close and dear friendship with Christine, was perhaps the primary reason that he had never tried to do anything that could directly hurt the dancer and now he found himself somewhat missing her as he followed Tsuki through the Library, to the house and to a section he had never been in before. Then again he rarely went exploring within Tsuki's home, for countless reasons including it being rude to him to do so and also because the Library was usually more than enough for him.

She stopped before a door and there was a strange moment of hesitation. He watched as she bite her lip, look at him sheepishly then beyond him to where no doubt Nel was standing, almost always seeming to be close by for either for them. Erik glanced back as well and there seemed to be something funny in this for the goddess chuckled and shook her head. “No need to be nervous, I'm sure he'll appreciate it.”

“Is it weird we waited this long?” Tsuki asked without explanation.

“It would be weirder to wait any longer. Go on, Tsuki.” Nel gestured for her to carry on and the scarlet eyed woman nodded before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

Erik recognized the smell immediately and for a split second, though it looked nothing like it, his mind was transported to his lair, where by the flicking dimness of candlelight he had composed an ill-fated opera for a woman who could never be his. But he knew the smell of finished wood and gently cared-for ivory and his eye stuck immediately upon the beautiful grand piano like a beacon in the darkness of the night. His heart lurched and before he knew what he was doing he was moving towards it, unable to stop his feet from approaching nor his hands, shaking as they seemed to be, from reaching out to gingerly touch the finished black wood of it's frame,lifting the fallboard to feel the cool chill of it's keys. A shiver went down his spine and a spark through his veins; he was vaguely aware of lights starting to turn on around him, lighting the room and making the piano seem to glow to his eyes but his mind was full of thoughts of music once more. He did not notice the electricity that did start to collect in the air, the energy of magic barely touched upon, barely awakened, but when given a focus such as this, started to solidify once again.

Nel and Tsuki did see it though and they exchanged looks, less worried or scared as it was curious. What might happen, what could happen? The goddess smiled and nudged Tsuki gently into speaking. The young woman cleared her throat. “That was my mother's originally.”

“Your mother's?” Erik asked and did not turn, his voice somewhat far away as he lightly ran his fingers over the keys from one side to the other; he did not apply pressure, not yet, though part of him desperately wanted to.

A different part felt guilty for being so rude as to not look at them and he pulled his gaze away to look at the women, his words slow and careful. “Your mother played?”

Tsuki smiled and nodded. “Beautifully. She didn't have our gift but she was a talented musician nevertheless and I have fond memories off my house full of music as my mother and father played together.”

“Did your father play piano as well then?”

“No, my mother was the pianist in our family. My father's talents were in singing and violin playing,” Tsuki said then smiled ruefully, “I sadly only inherited the ability to sing.”

“That's not quite fair,” Nel said and put an arm around Tsuki's shoulders, “You play violin fine, you just don't practice much.”

Tsuki chuckled lightly and shook her head. “It's fine Nelly, I'm fine with what I can and can't do.”

The urge to play still pull at him and Erik managed to convince his fingers to give enough pressure to sound one beautiful, solid note. It rang in the room and tickled his spine. It was clear to his ear that though Tsuki stated she did not play and it was her mother's that she had at least kept it tuned. Though impishly he thought of how it would only be proven to be such if he played every note and how good it would feel to do so.

Yet the words that left his lips next were not related to the piano. “I could teach you if you wish to become better at the violin, or learn the piano.”

Tsuki stared at him and Nel once more put a hand to her mouth, both watched Erik carefully. The phantom felt he should wiggle some under their stares but it seemed being so close to one of his instruments of preference, and such a beautiful piece at that, was giving him some of the confidence he lacked of late without his mask.

“You would do that?” Tsuki asked after a moment.

He nodded. “I see no reason not to. Think of it as a trade; you are willing to teach me of magic, it is only fair that I return the favor, as well as all the other favors you and Nel have done for me, in teaching you what I know. And music is something I know very well.”

Erik gave his best smile and did not know what to make of the reddening that seemed to suddenly dust Nel and Tsuki's faces. The two looked at one another then quickly Tsuki shook her head. “Y-you don't need to do that, I wouldn't want to impose. I just showed you this room because I thought as a fellow yoru no koe you'd appreciate it. Music is after all a big part of who we are as magic users.”

“Exactly, then why should I not take the opportunity to help you as well expand your powers by giving you more access to ways to express the beauty of music?” Erik said with a smile, allowing himself only a second to think how strange it was to hear her stammer even for a moment and endearing to a degree.

Nel seemed to chuckle, though with her hand hiding her lower face it was hard to tell. Tsuki bit her lip and looked shy. “If you say so. But I can tell you're itching to play the piano; you can if you wish, I don't mind.”

He was. He wanted so desperately to play it, to let his fingers dance upon the keys, to fill the air with the sound of every song he realized he'd had bottled up since his strange arrival. He hadn't had access to one before this, and with everything that had happened, with Christine, with Raoul, with the time travel and Tsuki and Nel and Thoth and Darius and Seer and that place, he had so much held inside that needed to bee let out.

Yet he shook his head, far gentler than the near frantic way she had, and held out a hand to her. “Play me the violin, Tsuki, let me hear how you sound so I may know where to start.”

She seemed somewhat surprised and it took another nudge from Nel before she moved, crossing the room to one of the many bookshelves in this room. Now that Erik was not focusing on just the piano he was able to get a good look; there were bookshelves lining the walls, not as elaborate as the Library's, simplier, homier. A fireplace, unlit, sat against one wall and there were some armchairs, a table, and then the piano. But upon one bookshelf was a case and she picked it up with some love and care he half suspected that it may be made of crystal or glass, something so precious it could not bare to be harmed. She placed the case upon the table and with ginger hands opened it, removing a beautiful violin, it's dark wood shimmering not with some sort of magic but simply by the light above their head that bathed the room. It too was obviously well taken care of, and Erik already felt a smile come on as she immediately checking the instrument for it to be in tune, her long fingers moving with practiced knowledge and ease. He had noticed the first time they met she had had callused fingers, though he had not thought of it since; now he knew why. She cradled the violin like a precious child, her eyes half lidded as she carefully made sure it was playing right and adjusted as needed before removing it's bow and taking a deep breath. He held his and Nel watched carefully.

The notes she played were beautiful but he had to agree with her assessment. Tsuki had a natural talent for singing, unrefined as it was, and he would say there likely was something here as well, but she did not have the same confidence and knowledge as she did when she had risen her voice to show him how to manipulate the universe by song. Though capable her fingers slipped ever so slightly in ways that to the layman may sound fine but Erik was not that; he was a musical genius, capable of playing any number of instruments as he pleased though the piano and organ were of course the ones most dear to his monstrous heart. His ear was refined and his pitch absolutely perfect; he heard the small mistakes and it made him move quickly to stand behind her and place his hands over hers.

“No, no, no,” he said adopting a stern and direct tone, “You must adjust; your posture, your fingering, your ear, like this.”

Without thought he moved her, manipulated her like clay in the hands of a master sculptor. It wouldn't do to take the instrument and try to show her, this much he was certain of; she had the basics down but she wasn't used to this, and she didn't know all the things he knew, that could only be felt not shown. He moved her fingers to proper placement, he adjusted how she stood, his hands moving quickly and with intent. His mind was settled upon the music, upon what was wrong and what could be done to fix it. He whispered, still in that tone, that voice that demanded results and knew he could get them. “Feel the notes, Tsuki, let them fill you. You told me that we hear the music of the soul, then show it to me through your instrument. Now start again and do not disappoint.”

He did let go but did not move away, staying close, right beside her; he saw the way her face had turned all the redder and the strangeness of her expression but she obeyed with little more than a nod and started to play again.

This time was better, he nodded and closed his eyes. Not perfect, nowhere near such yet, but with practice, with time, with instruction, perhaps this too could sound heavenly. He could tell she was caressing the notes better though hesitation still played a part in her motions but it was better now. Every time he felt she was slipping a bit of position he immediately corrected her; posture was important when she was still not even sure entirely of what to do and posture he would enforce. His hands upon her waist he could feel the vibrations of the music through her and he allowed himself a moment of a smile.

As the song finished he did not open his eyes yet. He simply nodded again. “Good, good, much better.”

“Erik.” Something in her voice made him freeze and finally look at her again. And suddenly everything, every little bit of Erik crashed down on him and flooded out the phantom. No, the Angel of Music. He pulled away quickly and stepped back so fast he nearly tripped on himself. Oh god, what had he done? He had been touching her, and been right up against her, and he realized he had slipped into old habits. Or rather, more specifically, old selves. The entity he had become for Christine, to teach her to sing, to guide her to become what she could be, and that had been Okay when he had been working from the shadows and had his mask and she hadn't known who he was and what he was, but this was Not Okay. Because he had placed his hands on hers and on her shoulders and waist and oh gods above and below, she was looking at him with such a strange look and so was Nel and he couldn't help but feel horrified by what he had done. Who was he to demand perfection of the woman who had been so kind and gentle with him, worse yet to actually touch her like he had that right.

“E-e-excuse me!” he stammered and quickly made his exit, rushing to his room. His heart was racing, his face he was certain more a mess than it always was anyway, and he did not wish to dare hear them scold or become upset with him over his audacity. But he couldn't bring himself to apologize because it was terrifying to do so, he didn't want to admit his wrongdoing or his lapse in judgement.

Nor how much deep down he had honestly found he liked being so close.

Left behind in the piano room, Tsuki and Nel watched as Erik made his quick and obviously terrified exit. The goddess was the first to pull herself together though and turned to Tsuki, seeing how her body shook and quivered. But unlike Erik, blind as he could be to the truth of other humans and their emotions and their body language, she knew the truth as she always had and always would.

Carefully she moved across the floor and gently took the violin and bow from his beloved mortal companion, setting them inside the case once more then spoke carefully, “Tsuki....”

“He touched me,” the young woman mumbled and that seemed to be enough to open floodgates; she was bright red and Nel could feel the shadows moving before she saw them. Honestly she had seen them during the whole incident, collecting and threatening to envelop both her and Erik but barely kept at bay. Nel would chalk that up to Tsuki's sometimes terrifying amount of self control at times.

That was no longer a point here though. She nearly collapsed in on herself and the shadows swallowed both of them, the entire room as the girl's emotions went rampant. “Nelly, you saw didn't you? He put his hands on mine and my waist and his whisper, the way he spoke, it was just, nnngh, I don't, I don't know what to....”

“Tsuki,” Nel said and tried not to laugh.

It was a bit funny to her to be truthful. Erik was oblivious to the truth, about himself, about what he meant to the girls, about everything it seemed, and it resulted in this moment when Tsuki was absolutely overwhelmed by the fact that their favorite time traveler, that shy and awkward and self-deprecating but oh so adorable man forgot who he was for a moment to actually press his body up against Tsuki's in order to help her play the violin better. He was a disaster in the making but Nel had to admit he was not the first in her very long life.

She pressed another kiss to Tsuki's forehead and hugged her, able to feel her racing heart against her chest yet trying her best to calm her nevertheless. “Breathe, Tsuki, breathe.”

“He wants to teach me how to play violin, he's so worried about us taking care of us; how is he so sweet, Nel?” Tsuki asked, an honest question asked earnestly by a girl Nel could not believe didn't see the irony, “It's not fair.”

“You better than I how hard his life had to have been,” Nel said and the girl stiffened some but at least the shadows were finally starting to understand their master was not in danger and calming down themselves, “You did the research after all, right?”

“...right.” There was something sad in Tsuki's voice but somewhat resigned.

She leaned against the goddess and Nel didn't press more, didn't think there was any need to. Tsuki would tell her, she always did and always would. But for now that wasn't the important thing. The important thing, to Nel, was to calm her overstimulated companion down and then probably, after Erik hopefully gets himself together, make sure the idiot phantom was okay. Who knew having two mortal companions could be so difficult but Nel could handle it. As long as neither of them gave each other a heart attack with their stupidly cute acts.

Or gods forbid her.

[igotohellsometimes]

day dreaming of winter break when you'll come pick me up in your car and we'll drive around the same 10 blocks over and over, laughing and talking, and somehow we will end up at the top of that hill staring at the nyc skyline late at night like we always do. but this time instead of dropping me off home, watching me cross the road from the drivers seat, I hope you drive straight past my house and to yours instead and you ask me to stay the night.

day dreaming of when you text me "breakfast?" and we sit in that cafe in town, you always ordering an americano and french toast. You make fun of me when I pour three artificial sugar packets into my iced coffee and cover my pancakes in syrup. We talk about the books we just finished, attempt to play chess but we cant ever focus because we're laughing too much and neither of us can remember who's turn it is. And the waitress will tell us we look like such a cute couple, we get that comment all the time, but I hope this time instead of laughing, you blush.

day dreaming of when I'll get to come back to your house again this winter, greeted by your dog and the smell of coffee in the kitchen even though its 10 pm. We take a walk around the block where you offer me a cigarette even though you know I dont smoke. You do that every time. Back in your house we sit on you couch and watch some letterbox classic movie, my head on your shoulder, but im too scared to lean any closer out of fear that maybe you'll feel my heart beating out of my chest. I can smell your cologne and I cant help but take quick little glances at your face in the glow of the tv. I hope you dont notice. But also I hope you do. I hope you put your arm around me next time.

day dreaming of what it will feel like to run back into your arms when we reunite this winter. How tight you pull me in, how I have to lean on my tip toes, your face in my dark hair, and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. When you hug me and you tell me that I mean the world to you, that I make you happy, that you're grateful you met me all those years ago, that you love me so much. I hope that when you hug me again this winter that I find the courage to kiss you. I hope you kiss me back.

[angstyaches]

ahh, i didn’t even realize! i saw it while i was finishing up my break at work and didn’t think to check if it was still there. i’m glad you’re not opposed though!

for felix and elliott: what would you do (or not do) if you had an entire weekend to yourselves?

for shayne and charlie separately: if you were planning a surprise date for your partner (they know it’s a date, just not the exact plan), what would it look like?

For some reason, I feel like I've given them all the most mundane answers ever, so I'm sorry if that's the case!!

Felix and Elliott

Felix claps his hands together. "So, we're starting it off right with a nice Saturday morning lie-in..."

"Saturday morning run at sunrise," Elliott interjects.

"Elli, I presume you don't need to hunt at all during this weekend."

Elliott nods. "I would still appreciate the running aspect."

Felix rolls his eyes but doesn't argue. "Well, I would get up around... ten."

"I'd wake you up at ten with a kiss."

Felix smiles. "Take a shower..."

"Together?"

Felix's smile deepens and bites his lip. "Mmhmm."

"Alright, and then after...?"

"After, we'd... we'd go downstairs in our dressing gowns and slowly make brunch. French toast and bacon and mimosas - we can make mimosas with blood for you, right?"

Elliott shrugs. "We can certainly try."

"And then watch TV and just be together for the afternoon... perhaps we'll go out to see a show in the evening."

Elliott puts an arm around Felix and runs his fingers against his shoulder. "Sounds nice. Maybe we get some drinks at a fancy bar afterwards."

"Yes."

"And pick up some sushi for my boo on the way home?"

Felix's eyes light up as he looks up at Elliott. "Aw. Thank you. Maybe I'll join you for a stroll in the park on the Sunday morning."

Elliott shakes his head. "There won't be a park visit on the Sunday morning, because I'm driving us to the beach to watch the -"

"Sunrise?" Felix sighs.

"Sunrise," Elliott says. "We'll bring coffee in flasks and take a walk across the sand as the sky and the sea change colour and the world is starting to wake up."

"Gosh, that actually sounds nice."

"And we wait for the funfair to open on the strand..."

"Oh, gosh, I do love a funfair," Felix whispers.

"I know you do. So we'll spend a few hours there, then drive home, and we can order in whatever you want for dinner, and then we can just cuddle and watch movies in bed until we don't feel like watching movies anymore."

Felix is smiling uncontrollably.

"Sorry," Elliott murmurs. "I hijiacked Sunday a little."

"No, no, it was perfect. I just... I thought your ideal weekend would involve more travelling."

"That's true, but the question was about our ideal weekend. I would want to spend it with you, taking it easy. Not watching you pull your hair out while trying to figure out some European city's underground train system."

Felix jabs Elliott in the side and then hugs him.

___

Charlie

"Oh. Well, it'd be hard to plan something without giving in to the urge to check in with him, to see what he thinks, to see how he's feeling, but... Shayne has never really travelled before, so I think I'd like to take him on a day trip, somewhere he's never been before. Maybe a lake or a mountain where we could have a picnic. Nowhere too crowded. And we'd come back before it gets too dark, because being outside at night can be kind of stressful for him... Yeah."

Shayne

"It'd be less romantic because I'd have to make him drive us there," he mumbles, "but I know he'd love a trip to the natural history museum in the city. I'd just let him talk at me about whatever stuff he's the most interested in. Oh, and he's always going on about these seasonal hot drinks he can't get outside of the city, so I'd take him to one of those places where he can get a ginger spiced... whatever. Oh - and if I could take him somewhere up high, with a night-time view of the city, that'd be perfect. Is that - is that enough, do you think?"

[izzysarchivedblogs]

THERE'S THAT ITCH. The flaw in who Clint was, the tick in his personality. HIS NEED FOR CONTROL, the way with which he had to be able to dictate the direction that his life was going, where his arrow was going to land. Hitting the mark.

He's terrible at schedules, at routines, and always had been. Something of which his therapist at rehab, had recommended him for an evaluation with which Clint had dismissed. YET Clint had always tried put himself under the illusion that he had control, that even when he was fumbling that, oh haha he had some idea here and there, that he still knew where his life was.

It's why the alcohol was such a problem, because he thought he had control even as a whole pack became regular, as two or more became occasion. NOW WITH THIS SOBRIETY THING? Clint thinks that he's creating control with this schedule, with deciding he'd give himself an off day from all of this. THAT HE HAD CONTROL, because he would start doing everything himself.

Conflating control with not needing help, with not asking. Holding up the fact that he had asked for help from Tony, from others here and there. CONTROL WAS DOING IT ALONE.

Clint stabs at his french toast, dragging it around through the syrup but not lifting it up to his lips. YOU ARE ALSO NOT AN ISLAND. He frowns, he doesn't quite think he's making himself an island. Maybe getting a little impatient, and than he already got his cast off which at least Tony had intervene from Clint doing it himself at the beginning of the week.

YOU CAN'T DO THIS ALONE. ❝ I know⸻ it's FINE, I'm doing fine and figuring it out. ❞ FIGURED IT OUT. He won't overdo it, and he's working on independence. Spending every day of every week thinking about this, why couldn't he take a night off, because every moment has been exhausting.

❝ Yeah, being driven. ❞ He agrees, wanting to point out like see he was letting help be had, that he wasn't doing this all alone in his attempt at re-establishing his independence after rock bottom, after rehab.

I KNOW YOU KNOW.... here it comes. Clint looks at Tony for a moment, and sighs because there's that part that he is the guy he asked him to help, his sponsor and has been-there, done-that. THAN there is the part of that sigh, that wants to reject that and push back against it. HE'S ALREADY MADE UP HIS MIND. ❝ WE'LL SEE TOMORROW. I got this all figured out ❞ Is all he says on the subject. He'll see how he feels tomorrow, and than he'll probably stick with his plan.

IT'S ALL BEEN SO EXHAUSTING. He just wants one night.

❝ We got time; have things in our pocket for days when we need to entertain Brandy, but we could do the smaller one some time soon.❞ IT'D BE DIFFERENT. He wanted different after these last five weeks.

Clint smiles, even if there is no way he wants to eat the eggs offered up to him. HE TAKES IT. ❝ Aww, Brandy, you're so sweet. Bibi-birdy thanks you. ❞ He does eat a bit of the thoroughly mushed eggs, only a little bit before he puts on his plate. ❝ You wanna eat more? ❞ He signs food and more to her, a few times, to see if she'd pick up on it.

Tony reached over the table and patted Clint's shoulder. "Look. I know you're trying to be independent, and that's great. You should aim for that. You need that. We need that. But please don't think that I'm bothered by helping you. I'm not. Just don't overdo it. That's all I'm asking. No - not asking - advising as your sponsor. You need to be independent, but you are also not an island. You can't do this alone."

Tony pulled out his phone and began to fill things in, so that he had an idea when he might be needed and when he would be free. "So I'm assuming you'll probably want to be driving over to your PT until your leg is stronger at least, just because it's a long way to travel there and back on the subway. Especially the back when you've just been doing PT for two hours." While it was phrased as a statement, it was a question. He definitely wasn't telling Clint what needed to happen. For a couple of weeks at least, Tony had cleared his schedule, and he was there to make sure Clint had as much support as he needed.

He would need to go back to things, but he could start part time if needed, and then as Clint had a routine and his injuries healed, he'd go back to his regular life, just checking in with Clint, hanging out in free time, and going to a couple of the regular meetings with him. For now though, he was ready for whatever Clint needed him for. He wouldn't force himself on the other man. But he was free when he needed him.

Ninety in ninety was the recommendation for addicts, and Clint hadn't even made it seven in seven.

Tony let out a breath. "I know you know that's not the recommended. So I'm gonna say that I do think you should at least try and get to the ninety meetings. But I also know you. So if you're really set that you do six a week instead of seven, can I at least talk you into doing seven days? You go to a meeting this Sunday. And then maybe after that, doing video chat meeting to make up the until at least the end of a month? Even if it's the same day as an in person one. They do have meetings all day long in the city."

He wasn't too confident that Clint would agree to that, but he at least did his due diligence in suggesting it.

"We don't have to set the zoo trip in stone. See how you feel. I mean, the central park zoo is two blocks away, so it's not exactly something we need to plan super in advance if you want to do it. Bronx is a bigger trip though. Do you have a preference?"

Brandy babbled happily when Clint asked her about the zoo and held out a handful of her eggs to him. They were very thoroughly mushed.