#and maybe it's better for me to stay a goyishe ally
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And yet, despite everything going on right now, I'm still thinking about converting to Judaism.
#i'm just not sure i have the self-discipline required#and maybe it's better for me to stay a goyishe ally#because maybe i can help more from the outside?#anyway it's something i've been turning over in my head for years#i was raised in an evangelical christian cult#but one that taught that jews were above christians in the heavenly hierarchy#that jesus died to save everyone else#and that christians had a sacred duty to protect the jewish people#which i guess is better than wanting to use them as a blood sacrifice to bring back jesus#but it still seems uncomfortably paternalistic to me#so i guess i'm still kinda untangling the views my upbringing instilled in me from my own sense of morality and justice#and i think i have more work to do on that front before i make a decision#i de-converted from christianity in 2006 and was an atheist for almost 20 years#and now i consider myself to be just sort of vaguely pagan#but the thought of becoming a jew still holds a lot of appeal for me even now
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