#and maybe if you don't actually know what it is you shouldn't be using it? just a thought

[tizeline]

Okay I've been thinking some more about this and honestly I'm a little split about whether The Knight is Dess or Carol.

Cuz it's brought up several times that Carol has a damn katana for some reason which is, ya know, a sword. And The Knight has a sword. Actually several swords they're always throwing a bunch of swords all over the place. And it's pretty safe to say that Carol is very involved in.... whatever secret scheme Kris is involved in. After Susie gets the guitarr at the Holiday house, Kris talks to that person on the phone and tells them about it, they respond that they'll "be right there" and shortly after that Carol shows up to the house and takes back the guitarr. This is after it's been established that Carol is busy at work and shouldn't be back for a while yet.

Now I have seen some people say that the timing doesn't quite match with both the Dark World being created in the church, or The Knights appearance there, if Carol is The Knight. Here's the thing, back in the Holiday house while Kris is in the kitchen and talking to the phone person, who I'm just gonna assume is Carol, she seems to mention opening up a dark world in the church. Which means it's possible she had enough time to do that while Kris and Susie were at the Holiday house. As for The Knight's appearance in the church's Dark World, while they do show up pretty soon after Kris and Susie enter the Dark World, Kris and Susie do spend a bit of time walking around before The Knight first appears. It is not impossible for Carol to have had the time to get to the church if she left her house not too soon after Kris and Susie left.

Damn nevermind I was initially pretty into the idea of Dess being The Knight right after finishing chapter 4, but after writing this I might be more inclined to believe that it's Carol. But I do still wanna bring up the fact that... okay so The Knight uses a bunch of swords in their attack patterns, and the weapon that they're holding mostly looks like a sword, so it's PROBABLY a sword but....

I SWEAR it looks like a bat sometimes. And bats are associated with Dess. So like! What if! Ya know! Maybe???

But like, they open a Dark Fountain using the weapon, right? And it's established that you need specifically some type of blade or something sharp for that. So if the weapon was a bat, The Knight wouldn't be able to use that. Except here's the thing!!!! They don't actually really seem to use their held weapon when opening the Dark Fountain, they summon these other swords and use them instead!

Listen, I still think it's more possible that Carol is The Knight but there's just enough little crumbs of evidence that might hint that Dess is actually The Knight, so it's at the very least worth considering. Knowing Toby, Carol being the more obvious candidate could actually be a red herring to prevent us from figuring out that it's really Dess.

Knowing Toby, maybe both Carol and Dess are red herrings and the real Knight is fucking Rudy somehow /hj

GOING INSANE RIGHT NOW.

[creatingblackcharacters]

hello! just did a read-through of your pinned post and really appreciate all the information, resources, and perspective!! it's really helpful for me as both an artist and writer <3

i really liked the sections on Black hair and had a more specific question!

i'm currently writing a Black character who's going to be in a wilderness survival situation for 2-3 months or so? are there any specific hairstyles that would be better suited for those conditions? (for context, it's summer weather, fairly dry and mountainous climate! and he's got coily hair!)

currently, i'm considering twists because he could feasibly do them himself if he needs to retwist? and maybe cornrows but idk if they'd hold that long. locs are unlikely for this character, i don't think he'd be able to fully commit to them LMAO

also! completely different question but when posting fanfiction, do you prefer when characters that aren't explicitly Black in canon but are explicitly written as Black in the fic tagged? ex. Black Jayce (Arcane) or Black Hermione Granger (side note on that one bc she's not explicitly written as Black in the books but she's been played before by Black actresses and it's a popular interpretation of her!!)

apologies for the long paragraphs but thank you so much for taking the time to provide these resources! have a lovely night :D

1. It doesn't have to be in a style. He could just have his regular afro that grows out of his head. If he's got access to some extra water, a pick, and a scarf for his head, there's no need to do anything extra. But if you want some short braids- if that's what he's willing to do- then that's fine too.

2. Hm. I mean, doing it would be cool for us who want to read! So there's no harm in it! It will let people overtly turn away from your fic or complain, though (people don't find Black characters "relatable" and may say that).

I know for me, I have said "Patroclus is Black" in my notes, but never in the tags. Mainly because I don't think I should have to; if you get into my fic, read that he's Black, and suddenly you're not having the same experience, that's a reflection of YOU and YOUR antiblackness. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Because why you don't like it as much no more, 👀👀 unless- I shouldn't have to clarify shit, fr. Let em read it and find out on the way! There's no denying it when I'm done describing and glorifying him 👍🏾

But that's me lmao; again I don't think there'd be any harm in it. Some Black readers might go "oh! Something for me!" because it'll be easier to spot and thus cater to, and that's always a bonus. Just make sure you actually do a good job, because don't draw someone in with promise of diversity and don't deliver.

[thewisewill80sbyers]

hiii, i was wondering what your take on mikes monologue was (maybe you have posted about it but i havent seen it😭) i think you have the best takes and tbh i havent rlly been satisfied with a lot of takes ive seen on this cause i feel like it goes against the script of the scene so im curious to see how you thought of it

I had lots of posts about it in the other blog, but I've lost them 💔

My idea for the monologue is that Mike wasn't lying, but he is also not really telling the whole truth without realizing it, the thing is he doesn't know the truth himself

he thinks he's in love with El, but in reality he is idealizing her in his mind, and he feels really insecure about himself at the same time, like they shouldn't be together anyway, but then this changes when he believed Will's monologue and believed that El felt like that for him (a lie) and that they could fix things between them

he didn't lie about what he's saying... but he means that love more in a platonic way even if he is convinced it must be romantic - he does love her, but he's not in love with her

it's a mix of idealization + a desire of being needed + not wanting to lose her from his life because he truly cares about her + thinking that he doesn't have any opportunities with Will even if he feels different when he's with him (but he's suppressing this so he's not aware yet, it's more subconscious - he still thinks what he has with Will is Platonic) + wanting to save her life and wanting to help her fight/give her courage at that moment (which he did!)

It's sort of the same situation as when Laurie in Little women does his love declaration to Jo, that's also why this movie is directly paralleled to season 4 multiple times and why it was on the board of movie inspirations for season 4, El is even parallelled directly with Jo because both of them talk about feeling like they don't belong and then Mike is making a love monologue that sounds very similar to this...

Laurie believes 100% that what he feels for Jo is true love, but this was never true love, this was childhood infatuation + idealization...

He doesn't get it though, that's why he's hurt when she says that she doesn't want to accept.... but years later, when he grows up, and gets to know Amy as an adult and really falls in love with her... he's eventually glad that Jo rejected him, because he understands that real love is what he has with Amy, and he never actually was in love with Jo even believing that he was, that was childhood love !

You can still call it love if you want, but it's not mature or endgame material, especially in a TV show lol

He cares about her so, so much, and he does love her, and he does like being with her and kissing her etc. but what they have is not a real partnership, it's not the real deal as will be the love with Will, it's idealizing someone - and that means that you don't truly see them and if you don't truly see them you can't love them even if you think you do or want to convince yourself of that

It's also true that he was afraid of opening up and being vulnerable with her and telling her at first because he was afraid that she would leave him, and it would hurt more if she left him after he did that, after he trusted her with that, (again, he believes what he's saying, and he's convinced it's what being in love should be like... He's 14 so it's normal imo ) and then Will made him believe that he could actually trust her with his heart... when it's not true... but he liked that feeling of being loved (by Will) so much that he thought he would feel like that again once he confessed his love for her...

Will's involvement is actually what will make them fail, because you can't resolve things in your relationship using feelings from a 3rd party, if you're not confident on your own in your love for someone... there's something wrong in the relationship, there's misunderstanding in the middle and incompatibility... ESPECIALLY if you live in a TV show and you're being written that way lol

when you don't resolve this problem only between the couple or having a conversation and heart-to-heart where El makes Mike feel like he can fully trust her finally then it means that the writers are not really putting the couple as endgame IMO, literally never seen it happen, especially when the other one involved is part of the love triangle lmao

What happened is literally the "Cyrano trope" or the Benverly trope, the Dan and Blair trope from gossip girl? idk call it how you want to call it... but the painting is what made Mike feel so loved that he thought that feeling was because of Eleven when it was all actually Will, it's a misplacement of feelings

Plus if we think about it Mike here was prioritizing his own emotional safety to El's happiness, he looked at her crying in his face and still couldn't find the will to tell her on his own... Which I don't think that someone that is truly in love would have done, plus he doesn't resolve this on his own as we said, there's no real development outside of Will's intervention AND we don't even see a scene of Mike and El talking in the finale and "resolving" things, we have a scene of El looking weirdly at Mike and going in her room and then the final foreshadowing of El LITERALLY leaving Mike behind!!!!

Whatever Mike might feel for her, SHE is the one that I can tell you for sure doesn't love him romantically and has also fully realized that she doesn't really want to be in a relationship with him anymore 💀

Anyway for Mike, I think it's mostly because of his low self-esteem that we're in this situation, he somehow is convinced that she won't need him at all unless they're in a relationship, and he feels this desire of being needed ( BY EVERYBODY in his life not only El!!! ) and he feels like if El doesn't want him it will hurt so he doesn't want to let her go (yet) he doesn't want things to change between them, he is TERRIFIED of things changing because it could mean that if things change between them then she doesn't need him and if she doesn't need him she doesn't want him even as just a friend because she's a freaking superhero why would a superhero want to even be just friends with HIM???? He just started to think of himself in such a shitty way since when he started dating her, and she triggers his insecurities so much even if she doesn't want to do that that's what happens, and so they end up not understanding each other and just feeling all this pressure on themselves!!!

Mike feels the pressure of "I need to look cool to her + I need her to need me, or she will leave! I can't be myself because I'm lame as fuck, and she's an amazing superhero!"

El felt the pressure of "I need Mike to want me so I can copy him and be normal like he is and good like he is! I am a monster and different while Mike is good and normal and knows how to be normal, so I have to appear cool and make him believe that normal people like me so he will keep liking me and not see just how much fucked up I am from growing up like I did"

And they both place themselves in these roles of girlfriend & boyfriend instead of being just Mike and El because they have too many insecurities about themselves that they need to work on, and the relationship triggers them and is just making them stagnant because they don't feel like they can be vulnerable enough with the other or like the other could understand them... if this wasn't a TV show maybe they could have resolved things with a bit of therapy, but I really don't think this is what's going to happen because of how the writers handled it in season 4 and because they involved Will in this relationship... I think El and Mike are just not compatible at this point, and they need to be single and work on this by themselves and find who they are!!!

Also, the people that inherently fix these problems in Mike and El are Will and Max lol

Will is able to make Mike feel like a hero and like an inspiration and at the same time he ALWAYS puts Mike as a partner never above himself, but he sees the real Mike, and he's able to reflect that to Mike as the painting shows... El is not able to do that for him

Max is able to make El feel normal like she's perfect as she is and like she doesn't have to be a superhero, and she doesn't have to be special, she can be just El, and she's just as important and great, and she makes El feel like she can explore options and learn new things about herself and Max doesn't need El to need her, she just wants El in her life as a partnership too!!! I loved the approach/explanation of the stranger things VR game about their relationship, I strongly suggest people watch that whole game because they got it, they got exactly why Max is perfect to balance El!!!

Anyway I just started ranting LMAOOOO sorry I hope it's clear, imo the situation is actually pretty simple to understand! Just keep in mind they're all really young and El and Mike are the least mature of the group for now, but they're growing up ❤️❤️❤️

platonic elmike will be beautiful because they'll learn to be friends without the heavy weight of expectations on their hearts

[gothicdolores]

Spoilers for killer of killers LOOK AWAY MY LOVES

Having said that;

How are the bad blood girlies and gays feeling cuz yall fucking won I feel 😖😖😖 yes we don’t quite have their clans affiliation confirmed but given that Dan took some of the only best parts of Predators and The Predator I’m wiling to bet there’s something there that will finally give us some bad blood lore beyond the books and comics

Alot of how they operate doesnt really feel all that honorable, and bet that this could just be the new status quo, but Ive said time and time again Dan is very deliberate with that he does w the yautja so far. I don't feel as if he's turning his nose up at the extended lore, but that he likes playing with parts that keep being pushed to the outskirts of canon and given them a proper moment

To include something from what looks to be a proper yautja codex that can be interpreted many ways is genius "go amongst the starts and seek out the most worthy prey, become the killer of Killers" that sounds very standard to what weve seen yautja do! Going out and finding the best - and it's only been one specific group that's taken that mission to mean literally take them

Now we got this opportunity to explore the fact that different yautja are interpreting that message differently and that's 👀 oh so interesting

Translator device babes HERE IS YOUR TROPHY CUZ DAMN LOOK AT THAT COLLAR THING

The fact that it translates yautja but not inter-human languages feels so........poignant idk to me it's always been apparent that in they KNOW humans are crafty and in a pack? Deadly, that's why it's always been a thing to pick out one from a group, going one on one

Which again lends itself to this idea that this particular tribe might not be on the up and up, as the idea that the humans refuse to fight each other seems to confuse them and king Daddy's only solution to that is to blow them up before the good folks around him start catching or empathy cooties

IM JUST SAYING

And I know a lot of folks hate when the yautja die, but the last few movies have made it look like that's a shitty thing to do, when, if done right, reminds us why these guys are obsessed with us in the first place

Not to be all The Indomitable Human Spirit but they have left survivors alone in the past BECAUSE we prove we are indestructible gremlins who won't stop until we literally drop. The yautja of the earlier movies weren't meant to be particularly heroic (but damn are they hot 🥵) but we could respect them on the grounds that they had limits and rules and respected us when we met certain criteria.

Scar, wolf, cruci, fugitive are more far nobler yautja in contrast, so of course we don't want THEM to die, but we mightve lost the reason why we actually want some of them to live if we get upset when every random asshole dies

me personally I love seeing yautja doing some dumbass thing and biting it THATS WHY I LIKE THEM they fuck up, they bleed, that's why I think Dan made it a point for the Clan Leader or whatever to be double teamed by our humans because at the end of the day 👀 hey man if your going to be axed by three little humans maybe you shouldn't be our leader MAYBE IDK

Which brings me to the other thing that's scratching my brain: I truly think this particular group of yautja are just straight up stealing other clans kills

The yautja guards and everyone directly around and taking orders from Gunnar have a very distinct look. I know some are saying the three yautja from the three stories share a trait but I straight up don't see it at all. They're all varied and weird. These hunters fell to their prey and their prey was picked up after the fact - particularly Torres

Bare with me; Ursa's yautja relied so heavily on their prosthetic that it was almost a crutch that she could take advantage of, I didn't find anything particularly weird about the ninja/samurais hunter outside of their facial appearance which could just be a variance, but the dogfight hunter did all that for shits and giggles, there was no way he could've gotten trophies from that, I truly think that yautja was a badblood who was feeling himself

But Torres was literally back home and long since awarded when he was hunted down. That was SO LONG after his fight that I feel like this group just looks up anyone who bested a yautja before and snatches them up. And it tries to the fact that in the credits for Prey, Naru is seen facing down a yautja ship the same as torres

I feel ursa and the samurai had the same experience of "winning" but getting snatched up at some later point - which leads me to say my next words not lightly:

I think this clan of yautja, if not bad bloods, operate like poachers

These aren't big game hunters, these aren't the yautja we've run in before, I truly believe this particular clan poach other yautja's prey and claim them for their own

Gunnar is very showman-y, he knows his people want blood and excitement, he offers himself as the ultimate opponent because if he didn't have the gonads to put himself on the line, why would anyone follow him, he's very glitzy and glamorous but in a yuatjan way. A single "winner" wouldn't cause him any trouble, so it's easy to say hell fight them, but we've seen a FAIR fight would absolutely make him look bad.

...the crops circles were cute btw

But anyway, all those parked yautja ships? This place might look like it's on yautja prime but I live in Vegas and I know a rave when I see it, these folks were out here for a good time not a long time

These yautja are carnies I SAID WHAT I SAID

They take what entertainment they find and dress it up nice but you can't tell me something wasnt off about this whole operation, there is a reason why these yautja freeze their prey instead of letting them go and I don't believe it's because Dan is making any sweeping changes to the more I really don't. He has his OC on the front lines, I will follow Naru anywhere

But what a delight guys! I could actually go on such a tangent about so much but these are my initial thoughts; by all means come scream at me or with me I have time tonight to enjoy it either way

[osokasstuff]

(i have intermittent strabismus).

my problem with drawing strabismus in only one particular scene (even if it's not used as a gag) is that it's kinda... inaccurate.

some people have intermittent strabismus, but it's not like "their eyes are perfectly aligned 99,999% of time except This One Scene where it illustrates Something." it's not how strabismus works. basically, these characters are not intended to have strabismus, it is used as visual tool like these black ravels that represent negative emotions. especially in the second example when strabismus somehow illustrates thought process.

strabismus is not visual tool. it shouldn't be used as negative visual tool (for showing that someone does something "stupid," for example), but it also shouldn't be used as visual tool at all.

in other words: if your character has strabismus when they're overwhelmed or tired, and don't have it when they're chill, they have intermittent strabismus. actual eye condition. that should be represented respectfully like any other disability.

strabismus is not sneezing.

if you want to make a character with intermittent strabismus, go ahead! that's very cool to have representation! just make them actually have it. in other scenes where it doesn't communicate something Narratively Important. maybe their strabismus shows when they take off glasses & needs time to accommodate. maybe it's more noticeable at some day (randomly or because of completely internal reason like bad sleep). they will likely be disturbed during strabismus episodes (have double/blurred vision, that weird feeling of eyes can't move properly & it is discomfortable, eyes strain, head tilting to get clearer image, etc). it's actually more common for intermittent strabismus to be disturbed because brain can't adapt to constant image. because sometimes are align and sometimes not and brain just don't know what to expect.

but if the character doesn't have strabismus during the whole story and then suddenly has it in one scene, it's either disability erasure (they actually have intermittent strabismus and author portrays them as able-eyed) or disability mockery (strabismus is seen as a joke & not real condition).

(not mad at anon, i got a bit expressive, but it isn't an attack. thank your for stopping to ask).

hi! this is more art-related, so i hope this is ok to ask. i know giving your characters strabismus or the "googly eyes" for a joke/to make the character look silly or "insane" is bad, but what about when characters are tired, half-lidded, and have their eyes pointing outward? or, are like, screaming in pain? would those types of drawings count as putting strabismus in a bad light?

i've also seen scenes in the cartoons i watch where the characters' eyes kind of go wall-eyed or unfocused (for a lack of a better term), usually when they're surprised or have a realization— i hope you know what im referring haha. is that also a bad trope and thus something i should avoid drawing? thank you so much!!

Hey!

In my opinion, it depends on how it's depicted. There's nothing inherently funny or wrong with someone's eyes unfocusing because of fatigue or something intense going on. When I take off my glasses my eyes immediately go in opposite directions, it happens.

Basically ask yourself: why am I putting strabismus here? Is it supposed to make the scene funnier, make the character seem less intelligent, more "derpy", get a specific reaction from the viewer that's specifically related to the character's condition, etc.? If that's the case, don't.

And the reverse: is it just a feature of that character, and it also shows up in more serious scenes? Go ahead. Generally speaking, if the character has actually consistent strabismus (=doesn't just show up in a few scenes) then you're probably fine by default.

As for the last question, IMO it's not as bad/boring as your standard "eye condition=funny" gag, but it's still used to make it more 'comedic' than it would've been otherwise.

As a rule of thumb, I wouldn't count on media who don't have

a singular character, who has actually consistent strabismus, isn't the comedic relief, and isn't shown as "stupid",

to be a good representation of it. If the funny eye condition only shows up once in a while for The Effect then it's probably tired and overdone at least.

If other followers with strabismus have Opinions feel free to share, I don't know what the community consensus is.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[sciderman]

I would say you’re more of a Mr peanut butter type yeah

doggy doggy what now?

[originalcontent]

My least favorite thing about autocorrect is how it always corrects "themself" to "themselves."

[loumauve]

non-exhaustive list of things that will get to you at 10 pm

missing friends because you haven't been able to make yourself text them back in years even though you think about them nearly every day

not feeling wanted in a very particular way that shouldn't be so hard to communicate but is anyway

realising how much time has passed and how little has changed, like numbness after an operation lingering for nearly a year

the sheer exhaustion of trying so very hard every day and getting very little in return

thinking about the last time you were actually being held without having to ask for it or take the first step

that one spotify playlist

closing your eyes to the world hoping and hoping and hoping that naybe you'll have that dream again, where you felt whole and happy instead of lost and tired and lonely

that last bit of sun of the day painting the sky a dark orange

mourning the time spent dating people who you wish had even just wanted to try harder for you

thinking about any one of those warm summer nights spent with your friends, talking in hushed voiced around the campfire so the little ones could sleep

[rachymarie]

Rachel Rambles re: SchizAuSpec Productivity

It's kinda so freeing knowing that, really, i don't HAVE to keep having a coffee + pushing myself to be "productive" past midday* bc that is actually when the Sleepiness begins and I'm better off resting until mid-to-late afternoon so I can get up "reset" for striving towards more productivity.

Sometimes capitalistic values / hustle culture / neurotypical values* gets in your head and you feel guilty for ever daring to be "lazy" (meaning we actually find it hard to relax/devote time to not being "productive" in any way.

*or even autistic- have noticed a lot of autistics on reality tv seem to have something against "laziness" and "lack of hygiene", despite the other half of the autistic/neurodivergent population struggling with hygiene and "laziness". Prob just the internalized ableism/parroting the views of those they grew up around/influenced by.

So yeah some autistics on reality tv have made me feel crap/alienated bc of this. e. Michael on LotS, Sophie on Glow Up, etc.

And I am actually a deceptively ambitious person, but I am no match for the debilitation of schizospec. And schizospec combined with ASD is a powerful KO combo, designed by whatever cruel malevolent higher power there is, to be enough to knock "the best of us" on our feet - and then keep kicking/stomping us while we're down amd the world around gets rougher

[mackthecheesy]

rip to the person in my dream last night who i was in a time loop trying to save </3 woke up before i ever could

[sondersil]

note to self: if you have repeatedly been made to feel some type of way about your silly little doodles by someone in the past, don't fucking draw them something for their birthday.

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[talkorsomething]

genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]

[lambilegs]

getting acquainted with the dildo: attempt #1

contains: sevika teaching reader how to suck the strap, dry humping (reader doing it on sev's thigh), friends with (resolved, thank god) tension, slight humiliation kink, a bit of a spit kink, teasing, inexperienced reader, implied age gap (both reader and sevika are adults), sevika calls reader "kiddo" teasingly, reader's body is referred to w/ the following terms: "pussy," "clit," "cunt"

when you tell sevika that you've never used a strap-on before, you nearly beg some higher force to let the ground swallow you whole. you two have been friends forever, but lately, it's undeniable that some sort of molten desire has been pooling at the center of what you have. maybe it was always there, and had just been in denial. but, it's undeniably present now, impossible to ignore, thick and heavy in the air, lining every interaction with a sort of hot lava.

and it's made confessions like this, ones filled with sexual secrecy and exposed desires, carry a lot more weight than they did prior. you're pretty much confiding in a woman who you're aching to have sex with about just how much experience she should and shouldn't expect of you. it's way more vulnerable, and it feels like you're spoiling her prematurely by peeling away sexual secrets that in a different circumstance, one with just regular dating, she would've discovered on her own in the context of wanting to have sex with you. but, doing it in a friendship, when you don't even know for sure what she feels, is more uncertain. it's farther away from the line of actual romance and desire, and therefore feels risker to admit. because if your inexperience deters her, maybe she'll easily dismiss and rid herself of any attraction she might've once harboured for you, since it'd be simpler to as just friends.

so, to say the least, you're scared when confessing this secret to her.

at least, that's until you see the way her lip curls up when, while laying on her couch, you confess that you're nervous about one day using the strap due to never having done it before. she seems equal parts intrigued and amused by the revelation. from where she sits, picking at one of the screws in her arm, she asks, tone low, steady, "well, do you feel ready?"

"I don't know." you stare up at the ceiling, for the thought of maintaining eye contact through this conversation is a bit too unnerving for your liking. "I mean, I'm sure everyone feels... not ready when they start using it, right?"

she shrugs. "maybe. to a degree. but, you don't need to push yourself if it really scares you." her voice has turned tentative, face absent of the initial mischief. with the way she angles herself away from you, it seems that she's somewhat uncomfortable with giving such earnest advice.

"thanks for the sex-ed," you laugh, trying to ease the mood some.

"well, considering I've actually worn the strap and you've barely touched it, you could use all the advice you can get."

you try not to visibly tense up at the casually tossed comment. you knew sevika has used a strap, of course you did. you've been at her apartment enough times to catch sight of her lube or dildos (because, yes she has several) scattered about. but, god, the idea of it taut on her pelvis, ready to be used to pump into you, has your thighs tightening.

"well, then, oh-wise-one, what would be your advice?"

she shrugs, avoiding your gaze for a few seconds before saying, "getting acquainted with it. with things like sucking, touching, you know."

"sucking?"

"yeah." the corner of her lip quirks up as she raises an eyebrow at you. "never done that either?"

you feel your face warm, feeling awfully pathetic under her pointed gaze, years of experience behind it. "no." you groan, swiping a hand across your face. "god, I'm gonna be so horrible at it when I first do it."

"then, practice."

you scoff. "with who?"

"by yourself?" she drawls, casting you an incredulous look as though she aims for you to question your own stupidity.

you huff, turning away. "I can't do it on my own, how will I know if I'm even doing it right?"

"then, I don't know," she sighs exasperatedly, lighting her cigar. "someone you trust, I guess. someone who wants their dick wet."

"the only person I know who wants to get their dick wet is you," you snap, a petulant part of you hoping you can embarrass her as much as she does with you.

her lips wrap around the tip of the cigar, that scar on the bottom one seeming to deepen. it's almost entrancing, hooking your eyes in and leaving you resistant to its power.

you only snap out of the spell when she says, "is that your way of asking for it to be me?"

the words have your lips parting before you can force them shut. what the fuck is that supposed to mean? you're well-aware of the tension that's been there between you two, of course you are. but, you never imagined that sevika would actually initiate anything. sure, she's flirted here and there, and you're convinced she's started purposely mentioning stopping at babette's for the sole purpose of making you jealous (after all, she always has such a shit-eating grin whenever you fidget or glare at her in response). but, still, it's never amounted to an actual offer, an actual step over the threshold between friendship and, well, something else.

you know it's the more responsible decision to say no, and shut this down before things get complicated. or at least until you clear up whatever it is you guys consider yourselves to be in relation to each other, and if it's something that carries as much emotion to her as it does to you.

but, part of you wants to give into the throb between your legs, the thick tension crackling in the air, the way her gaze is resting on you calmly, as though debating whether or not she should pounce. and god, you want her to, itching with curiosity as to what she'd say if you teased back.

and so, you do. "why, are you offering?"

you get a world of satisfaction from the way she coughs at the question, puffs of smoke blowing from her mouth as she roughly clears her throat. beneath it all, though, is a very apparent underbelly of nerves in your stomach, tingling in anticipation for her answer.

when she finally sets the stupid thing down, giving her lungs a well-deserved break, she says, "why, do you want me to?"

you grit your teeth, a spark of irritation set aflame from this back-and-forth. you wish she could treat you with the courage she does anyone else, just answering your question then sweeping you off your feet with no action required of you. but, no, she just has to be cautious, and hesitant, and sweet. today, of all times.

you sigh. you suppose it's on you to end this game. your chest is tight with anxiety, the words about to roll off your tongue heavy and filled with consequence. but, you push through, anyways. if you remain vague, she will too. if you say no, you may lose your chance with her for god knows how long. so, the only option is: "fine, yes."

immediately, regret weighs upon you, sinking down into your guts. you shift, eyes pointed down to your knees, trying not to panic, when a small huff meets your ears.

it's sevika. sevika chuckling.

your eyes tentatively raise up to her, nails digging into the plush of the cushioned seat you're on. her small, endearing gap flashes as she shakes her head slowly, her laughter sounding split between amused and incredulous, bordering on a scoff.

you feel nearly glued to your spot when her eyes finally rest upon you, the grey shine in them wrapping around you and pulling, pulling and pulling.

she leans back in her couch, spreading her legs out. "well, then, hop on, kiddo."

and that's how you wind up on her thigh, her arm wrapped around your torso as you fist at the fabric taut over her broad shoulders. her mechanic hand squeezes into the silicone balls of a dildo, eyes stuck on your lips as she traces the tip over them. your breaths are heaving with anticipation as she strokes the head along the inside plush of your lips, getting the bulb of it wet and slick with your spit. the experience is exhilarating, for you know she's capable of going harder than this, of fucking your throat raw. but, no, she wants to take her time with you, draw out every drop and dribble of pleasure for the both of you.

"who knew you had it in you?" she muses with a raspy laugh.

before you can even speak to protest, she slides the entire head in, capturing your voice and transforming it into a broken, wanton moan of surprise. her eyes practically gleam at that, and she slides the dildo out of your mouth's confines with a pop before sliding the tip back in. your lips latch on automatically, hugging around the head and letting it roll around the flat of your tongue. despite the sheer anxiety of having sevika's attentive eyes on you, the motions of her push-and-pull into your mouth is almost -- well, relaxing? the repetitiveness of it, the way it gives you something to direct all your five senses to as it lolls about in your mouth, your lips tightening and loosening -- it makes your brain feel softened, hazy, lost in this.

"ah, look at that," she coos, her tone hushed and sharpened with an edge of mockery. "sucking on that like that's all you're good for."

the playful degradation makes your clit fucking throb, and without meaning to, your hips automatically jerk forward, the firmness of her thigh making your eyes nearly roll back.

"oh, someone liked that," sevika mutters.

her thigh suddenly bucks up, sending you bouncing on her lap and nearly toppling over if not for her muscular arm steadying you. the pressure against your pussy makes you whine around the toy, your lips stretching open to release the noise only has her pushing it in deeper, nearly a quarter of it now sliding up and against your tongue.

"suck it in and out, just like that," she whispers, her eyes burning into your skin as she intently watches you. you try to follow her directions, but your sucks are too eager, too fast, and sevika reaches her hand up and gently grabs your jaw, coaxing it into fluid motions that has the dildo being softly pressed and released by your lips' grip, over and over and over again.

you know this is a horrible idea, a fact that only becomes more punctuated with every thrust of the toy into your mouth. you know you should've had some more self-control, and should've put a stop to this inane idea before it had manifested into a reality. but, no, you just had to think with your pussy, and now look where it's landed you? on your friend's, a good, loyal, helpful friend's, lap, practically rutting like you're in heat and sucking dick with zero technique.

"when that gets a bit too repetitive, you can lick it." she abruptly yanks the dildo from your mouth, and an embarrassing wad of spit stretches out with it, spilling thickly down your chin. your face is practically burning from the heat of humiliation, but sevika doesn't seem to mind, only smirking and saying, "now, I was gonna tell you you can get messy with it, but you're a step ahead."

now that your mouth is finally freed, at least you get to spit out, "you're such a dick," as though your pussy isn't practically leaking with arousal.

"oh, so you suck off any asshole, then?"

"maybe I will once you're done with this lesson," you haughtily snap back.

her eyes narrow at that, but she says nothing to it, smacking the tip lightly against your mouth. "open."

despite your snapping, and much to your annoyance, your mouth immediately goes slack, falling open for her.

"tongue out, now."

you obey, sticking it out.

she snorts, shifting in her seat as she raises the dick to you. "such a little sub."

you roll your eyes at her words, jerking when she grabs your jaw, forcing you to face her. "keep those eyes on me."

your pussy clenches down on nothing. god, you need her. not that you'd ever admit it -- the last thing she needs is another ego stroke.

"show me how you'd lick this."

giving you so much control causes your confidence, however little you had of it, to waver. you hesitate before tentatively stroking the flat of your tongue along the head, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. a tiny burst of pride ripples through you when you see her eyes widen imperceptibly. it's barely there, but you know her well enough to know it wouldn't have happened unless, at the very least, a small part of her was surprised, or maybe even impressed.

the reaction eggs you on, and you do it again, running your tongue along the entire length of the dildo, using the tip to trace along the bulging veins. when that's done, you lap at the head, the flat of your tongue quickly moving along it in steady movements.

when sevika speaks, her jaw is clenched, and the deep breath she takes shudders. "good."

"yeah?" the clear effect you're having on her is most definitely getting to your head, and it makes you desirous to push and prod at her more. "am I being good?" you end the question with a kiss right to the tip.

almost as though sevika is tethered to the toy, she swallows hard at the sight. "yeah," she says, her voice firm. "you're doing good."

the praise has your hips bucking again, and you internally curse at the leverage you've so clearly given her, another wicked smile curling at her lips.

her thigh resumes its actions from before, pumping up to meet your clothed core as her arm grips your waist tightly, keeping you anchored as she encourages you to rub yourself on her. your body acts before your mind can catch up, hips pressing down so that your clit receives some friction through the layers of fabric. you hate to admit it, but sevika's muscled thigh is a perfect helper.

"you can flick your tongue on the tip, too," she says, her voice a lot rougher than it was a few minutes back. you derive some pleasure from it, for even if your resolve is loosening and waning in wake of her touch, at least hers seems to be too.

"how?" you ask, your voice an embarrassing pitch from the desperation accompanying the word. but, as soon as it slips from you, your mind conjures up a single image, and it drives you to ask, "can you show me?"

"you kidding me?"

"no." you bat your eyes, hoping it'll get her more susceptible.

"I'm gonna need a bit more convincing than some pretty eyes."

oh, well, never mind. you deflate physically, though something tickles your stomach at knowing she finds your eyes pretty.

"oh, c'mon, please, sevi," you say, tugging on her arm with a jutted bottom lip.

after a few moments of casting you a deadpan stare, she sighs, tentatively turning the dildo around and raising the head to her mouth. voice warm, so velvety, she murmurs, "like this."

you hold your breath as the tip of her tongue pokes out, flicking along the head of the toy, flapping over it fast and hard. she may not realize it, but she's giving you a crystal clear shot of exactly how she'd look devouring your clit. you pocket the mental image, already knowing you'll pull it out the next time you get off.

when you follow suit, lapping at the tip, your tongue's point making little zig-zag wags, sevika's hand tightens on your hip, and with just one pull, you're back to riding her thigh. the pleasure coursing through your pussy, deep and aching from the pressure, is making you lost in sensation. your eyes flutter close as your hole clenches and your clit swells up, sevika's muscular thigh hard and lovely.

meanwhile, she's easing the toy into your throat, laughing when you gag all over it, spit gushing from your mouth. she's relentless in her practice, just coaxing you to move faster on her thigh as you struggle to accommodate the dildo, pathetic whines tumbling from your mouth everytime she pushes it in and your throat seizes with a choke. it leaves you more sloppy, more wet, more nasty than you were before, saliva trailing down your chin and getting your neck cool and sticky.

sevika's hand slides up your waist, just barely grazing the side of your breast on the way up, before brushing a thumb against the corner of your mouth, wiping away the residue. the touch seems wholly intimate compared to the ones that preceded, especially when she uses the digit to encourage your mouth to open and take the dildo in again. she seems to be more cautious of your limits now, easing it only halfway in. your eyes flutter shut, sucking nonsensically at it, losing yourself to the rhythm as you jut against her thigh faster.

sevika's eyebrows furrow in as you speed up, her breathing laboured, and you nearly giggle around the toy at the evident impact you're having on her. but, that's not all there is to it, for her expression only has a series of more hot, tempting mental images bursting through your mind. her panting like that when thrusting into you, her eyebrows scrunching in concentration like that while she lavishes attention all over your soaked cunt.

the thought has you bouncing faster, and sevika growls. actually fucking growls. her hand abandons your face, opting to grip your ass tightly and drag you harder against her. your bud is practically weeping with desire now, desperate to have its wants sated as you grind down harder. the weight of the toy on your tongue, the way your mind is numbed from the bodily chaos of sucking, thrusting, clutching -- it sends you rolling close to your orgasm, just barely teetering on the edge of it.

what finally sends you hurdling past it is how sevika bites her lip when she pulls you forward again, her thigh pumping up and down to meet your thrusts. she looks so concentrated on you, her dark eyes hooded and intense, and the pure want on her face makes you feel so desired, so aroused at the idea of how many ways you can get that expression on her face again. that, paired with another aggressive press from her thigh, and a tight suck on the dildo, sends your body crashing with an orgasm, walls spasming as your thighs go taut. you writhe in her arm, nearly tipping all the way back if it weren't for her catching you and holding you close. your chest presses flush to hers as you tremble like a leaf, clit sopping and stinging in sensitivity as she continues pushing against it.

you whine in protest, slightly lifting your hips, and she immediately takes the hint, slowing her movements to a stop. all the while, you keep sucking on the dildo, the shape of it in your mouth, the way it offers you something to latch onto and ground yourself with, practically addictive.

sevika watches you carefully for a few moments before gently tugging it out, a string of saliva hooked between the head of it and your bottom lip.

you moan in surprise when shr leans in and runs her tongue along your chin, curling it right at your bottom lip, swallowing down the saliva all for herself.

"you're such a mess," she mumbles, sucking languidly at your chin.

"it's not my fault," you grunt, voice raspy from all the noises you made. now that the heat of the moment has worn off, the searing burn of embarrassment begins to imprint itself on you. god, you were so loud, so desperate, so--

"you looked good."

you lick your lips, some of the nerves calming. "yeah?"

"don't let it get to your head."

"that's true, I already had my fair share of head for today."

her eyebrow raises at you in a distinct lack of amusement. "you're lucky you're cute."

your stomach sizzles with oh-so-stupid butterflies. god, why does she have this much of an impact on you? and it's so effortless on her end too, which makes it all the more frustrating for you.

"you think I'm cute?" you ask, forcing your tone to sound teasing so she doesn't realize just how earnest you are.

when she falls silent for a few moments, you tense up, wondering if she can tell how serious you are.

"who's the one leaking through my favourite pants right now?"

or maybe not. face twisted into a cringe, you grip her shoulders to stumble into a standing position, her hand still loosely hanging by your waist. "on that note, I think I'll go wash up."

her fingers dig with a bit more pressure into your skin, and to your shock, she says, voice gruff, "not just yet. just sit for now."

you let her tug you back into her lap, your arms immediately winding around her neck. "what for?"

she shrugs. "just comfortable." her eyes finally lift to you, and it's like you could plummet to the ground with how swept over her steady gaze makes you feel.

"was it not you who just made made that stupid pants comme--"

"do I need to get the dildo again?"

you burst into laughter, eyes crinkling as you shake your head at her. "is that gonna be your go-to whenever I piss you off now?"

"amongst other possibilities." her fingertips ghost your waist, and you shiver.

other possibilities? you know it's not the smartest thing to dwell on -- after all, she might've just said casually with no serious intent. but, sill, your stomach warms from something you had been trying your best to avoid this entire interaction.

hope.

but, when she touches your waist like that, and seems to struggle to remove her hand from you as you walk away, you can't resist the little part of you of that whispers, maybe it's warranted.

but, you don't want to get ahead of yourself. so, you keep it at just a maybe.

[merlyn-bane]

unfriendly reminder that poppers are not legal for recreational use in the US and the person behind the counter at the sex store has better things to do than explain what plausible deniability is to you like you're five

[cinnasite]

nerd gone viral ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

꩜ pairing: nerd!armin arlert x female reader

꩜ warnings: explicit content, language

꩜ word count: 3.7k

꩜ synopsis: a harmless campus interview turns your best friend into an overnight internet sensation—and suddenly, every thirsty TikTok comment feels like it’s whispering your secret.

☆ art cred: @/juvianism on instagram :3

You nearly spill your coffee all over your Political Theory textbook when you unlock your phone. Another two hundred comments on that TikTok. You know you shouldn't check—you probably watched it about a million times yesterday alone—but your fingers move before your brain can scream at you to stop.

@/bookslvt01: ok but the way he talks about virginia woolf??? NEED HIM CARNALLY @/colossalthighs: i’d let him annotate my entire body fr @/arlertmeout: he looks like he apologises before choking you

You bite your lip, half-entertained and half-horrified, scrolling through the endless comments under what was supposed to be an innocent campus interview. The video has 2.3 million views now, completely insane for something filmed outside the modest main library—the same one you find yourself in at the moment—on a random Tuesday.

"Ugh, don’t tell me. You're watching it again, aren't you?"

Your head snaps up comically quick, caught red-handed, to find Sasha sliding into the seat across from you at your usual table, eyeing your phone screen with knowing amusement. 

"What? No."

"You are! You have that weird, glazed look in your eyes. The same one you get when Professor Ackerman extends the deadline for our research papers." Sasha unwraps what appears to be her third sandwich of the day. You don't mention how it’s only twelve in the afternoon. "You know you could just talk to him about it, right? He's literally one of your best friends."

"And say what exactly?" you finally close the godforsaken app, trying to ignore how your screen time report is definitely going to be embarrassing this week. "Hey Armin, I've watched your viral video more times than I can remember and I'm having very inappropriate thoughts about your tongue piercing that I absolutely shouldn't be having about my friend?"

Sasha snickers, a piece of lettuce tumbling to the table from her mouth. "Well, when you put it like that... actually, yes. One hundred percent that."

"Sasha, I can't just—" you frown in frustration, inhaling deeply. "It's complicated."

"How is it complicated? You've had a crush on him since freshman year."

"That was different. That was before we became friends. Before I knew him." You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling as fond memories overwhelm you. "Back then he was just this cute, nerdy guy in my intro psych class who got excited about statistical analysis and always smelled like that vanilla body wash I love. I used to sit behind him just to watch him get all animated during discussions about cognitive behavioural theory, you know?"

Sasha merely rolls her eyes. "Jesus, and you call me demented. Well, what about now?"

"Now? Now, he's Armin. He's my friend who stays up until 3 A.M. to help me with my assignments, who brings me soup when I'm sick, who texts me the dumbest memes about historical figures," you slump forward, close to pouting. "He's the guy who spent six hours teaching me how to play that MMO he's obsessed with just because I mentioned being bored over winter break. He's..."

"He's the guy you're infatuated with," Sasha supplies helpfully.

"I'm not," you start to protest, then wisely opt to give up instead. "Okay, maybe. But that's exactly the problem. I can't risk blowing up our friendship just because some stupid interview made me realise I want to climb him like a tree."

"A tree with a tongue piercing," Sasha adds with a cheeky grin.

"Fuck’s sake, don't remind me," you let your head rest against the table. "Do you know how many times I've replayed that two-second clip where he licks his lips? It's pathetic."

"It's not pathetic, it's kind of sweet. There's a difference." Sasha takes another bite of her sandwich, her eyes evidently lighting up. "Besides, you don't know that he doesn't feel the same way. Have you seen how he looks at you during our study sessions? Boy's got it bad."

"He looks at me like a friend, Sasha. Because that's what we are."

"Believe me, friends don't look at friends the way he looked at you last Friday when you were explaining your thesis argument. I thought he was going to combust from sexual tension."

Before you can blatantly disagree, you hear an all too familiar voice behind you.

"Sexual tension about what now?"

Your stomach drops directly through the floor. You turn around carefully, and there he is—Armin Arlert, campus's newest digital sensation, standing there with that signature bemused expression he gets when he catches you and Sasha gossiping. His blonde hair is mussed like he's been running his hands through it, and he's wearing that adorable blue sweater that brings out his eyes deliciously.

"Oh, um..." You scramble for an explanation, panicking on the inside. "We were just talking about... about..."

"About how Professor Ackerman's lectures are basically academic foreplay," Sasha jumps in smoothly. "All that tension and buildup with no satisfying conclusion. I mean, hello?"

Armin laughs, the sound warm and comforting. "That's fascinatingly accurate, I’ll admit." He shifts his weight, and you only then notice he's carrying his laptop bag and what seems to be a bag of takeout. "Mind if I join you? I brought Thai food and figured you might be hungry since you've been here since—," he checks his phone, "—9 A.M., according to the text you sent complaining about how it’s criminal that the library opens so early on weekends."

Your heart does a little flip at his consideration. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." He slides into the chair next to you, close enough that you can smell his cologne—a rich blend of velvety caramel and toasted cinnamon that positively makes you want to lick him all over. 

Stop. None of that, you horny bastard.

"Besides, I figured you might want to hear about the latest developments in my accidental internet fame."

Sasha perks up at once. "Hell, yeah. Have you been recognised on campus yet?"

"Five times yesterday," Armin appears to lament, pulling containers out of the bag. "Including once in the bathroom, which was... awkward, to say the least." He hands you your usual order without asking what you want. "But the weirdest part is definitely the DMs."

"DMs?" you pipe up, failing to ignore how domestic this feels what with him knowing exactly what you like. Typical, precious Armin.

"You have no idea," he opens his laptop and turns it toward you two with a nervous twitch. "I've gotten marriage proposals, offers to 'show me a good time,' and at least a hundred messages asking about my tongue piercing specifically."

Your face burns as you push away the thought that you've been mentally composing similar messages. "That's... wow."

"The worst part is, most of them are asking if I'd be interested in demonstrating its uses." He fidgets with his glasses, coming across as embarrassed but also endearing. "I had no idea that thing would cause such a reaction."

"Well, it is pretty noticeable," Sasha remarks with a meaningful peek at you. "Very... attention-grabbing."

"I guess." Armin glances at you pointedly. "What do you think? You've seen the video, right?"

The question is innocent enough, but something in his tone makes you look at him more carefully. There's an out-of-the-ordinary implication that you can't quite put your finger on. "Uh... yeah, I've seen it," you manage to croak out. Terrific. Could you get any stiffer?

"And?"

"And what?"

"What did you think?"

You stare at him blankly, trying to figure out if this is a normal friend question or if you’re incorrectly perceiving the foreign edge of curiosity behind it. "I thought... I mean, your book recommendations were really good. Very passionate."

"Passionate," he repeats, the fleeting flash of understanding across his face confirming your earlier weariness. "That's interesting."

Sasha's phone cuts through the uneasiness with its incessant buzzing, and she scans it with obviously fake surprise. "Oh no, would you look at that. I have to go... meet... someone... about... a... very real thing... I have." She begins gathering her stuff with awfully suspicious speed. "You two have fun talking about books. And passion. And tongue piercings."

"Huh? Wait. Sasha—" you squeak out, but she's already dashing out of the private study room you had booked for the both of you until late afternoon (traitor). Which leaves you alone with Armin, who's scrutinising you with an expression you can't quite read.

"Alright," he speaks after a moment, closing his laptop and leaning back in his chair. "Want to tell me what you actually thought about the video?"

"I already told you."

"No, you gave me the safe answer." He tilts his head slightly, studying you with purpose. "Come on, we've been friends for two years. I know when you're holding back."

You hastily shove some noodles in your mouth, avoiding his gaze. "I'm not holding back."

"Really? Because Sasha seemed to think you had some important opinions about it."

You make a mental note to start drafting your plan for the girl’s well-deserved comeuppance. "Sasha talks too much."

"She does," Armin agrees. "But she's usually right about things. Especially when it comes to you."

The rarely there confidence in his tone makes you look up and, when you meet his gaze, the intensity catches you off guard. "What do you want me to say?"

"Did you know," he continues conversationally, "that TikTok shows you analytics about who's viewed your videos?"

Almost instantly, your heart stops. "What?"

"Mhm. Very detailed analytics. Including multiple views from the same account." His lips quirk up in a small smile. "Want to guess how many times your account shows up in my viewer list?"

You feel heat creeping up your neck. "I don't know what you're talking about." You briefly consider denying reality, blaming a technical issue, or claiming a glitch in the matrix—but none of it sticks.

"Seventy-seven times," he announces, the metaphorical checkmate hitting you straight in the chest. "As of this morning."

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. He knows. "I can explain—"

"Can you?" He angles himself forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Because I've been trying to figure out why my very good friend has watched a boring thirty-second video of me talking about books seventy-seven times."

You want to run away, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "I... the algorithm is weird sometimes?"

Armin chuckles, low and warm, absent of any malice. "Try again."

"I was checking to see if the view count was going up?"

"Nope."

You're quiet for a long moment, trying to figure out how to get out of this without completely humiliating yourself. You don't suppose it's too late to jump out of a window? Ultimately, you sigh in defeat. "Okay, fine. Maybe I watched it a few times."

"A few?"

You narrow your eyes, crossing your arms in defiance at the unsolicited endless interrogation. "More than a few."

"How many more?"

You want to strangle him, and not in the sexy way. "You’re being annoying."

"Come on." His voice has dropped slightly lower, and there's something almost akin to teasing in it. "I told you about the marriage proposals. Fair's fair."

You mutter a profanity under your breath, groaning. "Fine. I watched it a lot. Happy?"

"No. We’re getting there, though. Why?"

"Why what?"

Armin’s glee sharpens into something ravenous, a flicker of desperation lurking beneath his carefree demeanour—like he’s itching for you to say exactly what he needs. "Why did you watch it seventy-seven times?"

Your lungs feel too tight, too exposed. "Because..."

"Because?"

"Because you looked really good, okay?" The words come out in a rush. "Because watching you talk about literally anything is incredibly attractive, and because that frustrating part where your tongue piercing shows has been tormenting me ever since the video came out."

The silence that follows is eerily deafening. Armin simply stares at you, and you wish the ground would swallow you whole.

"Shit," you grumble, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. That was completely out of line. I know we're friends and I shouldn't have—"

"Hey. Look at me."

The way he asks convinces you to peep through your fingers, reluctant but unable to look away. His expression is attentive and focused—definitely not one of disgust.

"You think I'm attractive?" he questions softly.

"I... yes?"

He blinks, his usual calm shattered by the raw vulnerability in your voice. His fingers tremble, revealing the fierce hope inside that there’s a potential chance that someone sees him as more than the sum of his quirks.  "Even though I'm just a loser who gets excited about obscure paranormal documentaries and spends too much time playing video games?"

"Especially because of that," you admit, having never been more sure of yourself.

His answering smile is slow and devastating. "Good to know."

"Good to know?"

He hums, reaching across the table, and gently pulls your hands away from your face. "I've been wondering if you'd ever see me as more than just your friend who helps you with your homework."

Your brain, without a doubt, malfunctions. "What?"

"Did you really think I started bringing you food and staying up late just because I'm a good friend?"

The words disarm you. You’re trapped between incredulity and the dawning comprehension of what he might be suggesting. "I…"

"And did you think I learned how to play your favourite songs on guitar just because I had time to spare?"

"Y-you said you wanted to practice—"

"And I presume you thought I got this piercing because I was feeling rebellious?"

That stops you short, confusion apparent in the furrow of your brows. "You didn't?"

Armin's grin turns almost predatory. "I got it because I overheard you and Sasha talking about how cool you find them. This was back in October, after you'd been dating that guy with the lip ring."

You feel like a kettle left on the stove too long. "You... what?"

"You said, and I quote, 'There's something about tongue piercings that's beyond exciting.’ Something along the lines of how the person has to be bold enough to get it, but there's the simultaneous insinuation of what they can do with it."

"I’m going to kill myself," you gape at him in horror. "You heard all of that?"

"I was sitting right behind you in the campus coffee shop. You weren’t exactly shy about it." He shifts closer, and you can spot the hint of silver when he speaks, "I made an appointment that very afternoon."

"You got a tongue piercing because of something I said about another guy?"

"I got a tongue piercing because I wanted to be the guy you were talking about."

The confession hangs in the air between you, charged and electric. You stare at him, trying to process this complete change in everything you thought you knew about your friendship. 

"I've been trying to get your attention for months. I was starting to think I'd have to do something drastic."

In spite of being made to face terrifying revelation after revelation, you manage to stutter out a breathless laugh. "More drastic than getting a tongue piercing for me?" 

"I was considering learning to play your favourite video game."

You snort despite yourself. "You hate that game."

He shrugs casually, as if the lengths to which he would go for you knew no bounds. "I know. That's how desperate I was getting."

The atmosphere between you feels tense now, full of possibility and two years of unspoken tension. Armin traces your knuckles and the simple touch sends heat shooting up your arm.

"So," you say, trying to stay as composed as you possibly can. "What happens now?"

"Now," he starts, standing up, "you tell me what exactly you were thinking about during those seventy-seven views."

He's close enough that you have to tilt your head back to look at him, and the unwavering want in the blue of his eyes makes your breath catch. "I was thinking..." you trail off, feeling timid with his attention on you.

"You can do it. Use your words for me?" his voice has gotten rougher, huskier, and it sends delightful shivers down your spine.

"I was thinking about what it would feel like."

"What would feel like?"

"Your piercing. When you..." You gesture vaguely, cheeks burning. Armin's hand comes up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your bottom lip. "When I what?"

"When you kiss me," you whisper.

"Just kissing?" The question is loaded with underlying intentions, and you shake your head slowly.

"Tell me what else you were thinking about."

"Armin..."

"Please." The plea is hushed but insistent. "I want to know what's been going through your head."

You swallow, your throat suddenly dry as you let go of the entirety of your self-restraint. "I was thinking about what it would feel like on my body. What it would feel like when you use your mouth on me."

His pupils immediately dilate at your words. "Fuck."

"Is that... is that okay?"

Instead of verbally affirming, he leans down and kisses you. It's gentle at first, tentative, but when you react by fisting your hands in his sweater and pulling him closer, he deepens it. The first brush of his tongue against yours has you gasping, and when you feel the metal of his piercing, it sends intoxicating pleasure shooting through you.

You break apart, breathing heavily, and Armin rests his forehead against yours.

"How was that?" he asks earnestly, voice raspy.

"Good," you breathe. "Really good."

His smile is full of care but there's primal desire behind it. "And the piercing?"

"Want more of it."

He brushes his thumb across your lip again. Truth be told, it’s plain torture. "You know, we're in public right now."

Every wall you built is crumbling under the weight of him, and all you can do is let it. "I know."

"Anyone could walk by and see us."

"I know."

"And you don't care?"

You drag your hand up his thigh, stopping just shy of where he clearly wants it, "Not even a little bit."

He kisses you again, harder this time, and you can't help the soft moan that escapes when his tongue meets yours in another dance of display. The sound seems to flip a switch in him, because his hands are tangling in your hair and he's pressing you back against your chair.

"God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he murmurs against your lips.

"Tell me ‘Min."

"Since freshman year. Since that first day in psych class when you argued with Professor Smith about the ethics of behavioural modification."

You draw away just barely, shaking under the intimacy of his declaration. "That long?"

"That long." He doesn’t think twice before trailing his teeth along your jaw, and when the metal of his piercing digs into your flushed skin, you whimper needily. 

"You were so assertive, so brilliant. I was completely and utterly gone."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were dating that business major asshole, and then when you broke up, we became friends,” he hesitantly halts his ministrations to flutter his eyelashes at you, “I-I didn't want to ruin it." 

Good heavens, you didn’t stand a chance from the beginning.

"But then you kept looking at me like... like you wanted me too, and I started hoping..."

"I did want you. I do want you." The admission comes out whinier than intended, but you can’t bring yourself to be bothered at this point. "So much."

His hands tighten in your hair. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You’re unaware of how many minutes pass as you lose yourself in the sensation of his mouth on yours, and the way he tastes like mint and something uniquely him. You dig your nails lightly into his sides, claiming him in an act of fervent possession. His breaths mingle with yours and the world outside your tangled bodies fades until there’s nothing but lust burning between you. By the end of it, your chests rise and fall in tandem.

"We should probably get out of here," he mumbles, peeking around the library.

Craving Armin has left you dazed, vision glassy as you attempt to make sense of your surroundings. "Right. Um, your place or mine?"

He pecks your nose, full of affection, tenderly guiding you. "Mine. My roommate's gone for the weekend."

You start gathering your things with shaky hands, hyperaware of the way Armin is observing you. When you bend over to pick up your bag, you hear his sharp intake of breath.

"Something wrong?" you ask innocently.

"N-nothing," he mutters, skittishly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

The walk to his dorm feels like it takes forever, full of stolen glances and the kind of anticipation that makes your skin feel too tight. When you reach his room, he fumbles with his keys for a moment—so fucking cute—before getting the door open.

You haven’t had a lot of time this semester to crash at his dorm—neat and organised, with anime posters on the walls and stacks of books and manga everywhere. But you barely have time to take it in before he's pressing you against the closed door, urgency lacing his actions.

This time, there's nothing apprehensive about it. His hands are everywhere—your waist, your back, squeezing your ass—and when you arch against him, he makes a low sound of approval.

"You taste so good," he shudders against you. "Everything I’ve imagined and so much more."

"You imagined this?"

"Every night for two years." His mouth moves to your neck, nibbling along your throat. "What you'd look like, what you'd sound like when I made you come."

The words send heat pooling low in your belly, prompting you to press your thighs together instinctively. "Fuck, don’t say shit like that.”

"Why not? I’ve been longing for you. All of you," he whispers, pulling back to look at you with dark, lidded eyes. "You’re not getting away until I’ve had my fill."

It would be an understatement to say that you hadn’t foreseen this when you woke up today. That you'd be spending hours with your legs over Armin's shoulders, forgetting your own name; the compassionate, stammering genius the internet drooled over. Too bad he’s not on the market. It would be a treat if his fans could see him like this—flushed and breathless, fingers gripping your hips like he’d die without you. Armin Arlert, golden boy of TikTok, practically begging to let him ruin you.

You grow dizzy at the promise in his voice. "Please."

He lets his hand trail lower, indecently tranquil, and just as you think he’ll do something reckless—he pauses, smirking wickedly.

"Want to find out what this piercing really feels like when I eat you out?"