#and maybe a lil bit of garlic

[moodyvoid]

no babe don’t turn me into a vampire, I love garlic bread 🥺🎀😭🧄🥖😔✨

[markatoto]

fan of breasts?

chicken breasts? yeah! they are, maybe & arguably, one of the most delicious part of the chicken. well, maybe next to drumsticks (which i personally prefer for things like fried chicken, or soups). in particular, i like to use chicken breasts for making katsu, which, lemme tell ya, i'm no expert cook, but id like to think that i do a pretty good job.

matter of fact, if you want an extremely simple recipe, here's how i personally make chicken katsu (all off the top of my head, so some slight details might be missing, so please bear with me):

you'll need a few ingredients

panko (any sort of breadcrumbs will work, but panko is just the brand i use)

cookin' oil (usually simple vegtable oil will work)

the actual chicken breast, of course

the ol' traditional: salt and pepper

one egg (u dont need any more than one egg, typically)

if u wanna make things extra crunchy, having some corn starch mixed in with garlic powder + onion powder for some extra seasoning. maybe even a scoosh of paprika for that yummy (i personally like using this filipino chicken mixture called "crispy fry", which is usually used for fried chicken, but it works here too. it's usually meant for fried chicken drumstick, but what is katsu but a different kind of fried chicken)

anyways, here's how u wanna do things:

take out your chicken breast, pat it down with a paper towel so that it aint wet on the surface and either: slice it so that the chicken breast is about inch and a quarter (or so) thick OR use a mallet to make it around that thickness. youll want your chicken flat as possible, but not too flat! i think you know what i mean.

salt and peppa that mothafucka, both sides (OPTIONAL STEP 2B: it's at this point id probably mix my chicken breast with the starch mixture/crispy fry. it just gives a lil extra flavour and crunch that i enjoy. but this is just me, u dont really gotta do it)

crack open an egg and put it in a bowl. MIX IT UP

put your flattened (and maybe crispy fry seasoned) chicken in the egg. get it drenched, you want that panko to stick to that shit

what i like to do is i like to put panko in a plastic container with a lid, then i put the chicken in the container, close the lid up and just SHAKE it so that its nice and evenly coated. super simple and fun and WAY cleaner to deal with after the fact LOL

pop your oil in your pan. put in generous amount, enough that your chicken wont necessarily be drowning, but enough that your chicken will be sufficiently fried. heat that up until the oil reaches that perfect temperature of around 350'F (that is THE temp for doing any deep frying)

pop your chicken on the pan and leave it frying on the one side for, id say, approximately 4-5 minutes. youre going to have to keep a close watch on it. make sure that panko is that GOOD crispy brown on each side. over all it should take you like…. 7-9 minutes for your katsu to be done.

BEFORE YOU EAT... make sure the internal temp of the chicken is around 160 - 165'F. if it is, it's good to go. take it out and, what i like to do is get a plate and pop on a paper towel to let the katsu dry off all the excess oil. even though its off the pan, that shit is STILL cookin, so youll want to leave it alone for like… a minute or two. plus if you eat it now you'll totally burn your tongue and that's the WORST feeling in the world

and after all that, your katsu is done! get some jasmine (white) rice, put on some katsu sauce and some japanese mayo with a lil bit of furikake for that slight seaweed flavoring and youll be GOOD to go!!

so yeah, i guess you can say i'm a fan of breasts.

[charliemwrites]

Before charmed slasher Simon revealed his true identity, what were movie nights like? I’d kill for a lil section on them almost cuddling on the couch while watching a scary movie and Simon absolutely adoring when you jump and scooch closer to him on instinct 🥹🥹 please charlie I beg you 😭

*Checks notes, chats with The Council* Yeah okay... we can do that.

CW for a bit of somnophilia and Simon being a creep!!

You open the door looking like some kind of pastry with too-big eyes. Soft, cream-colored pair of joggers and a thin pink jumper, so fuzzy he just knows he'll find fluff on him after this. You look so cozy and sweet; he wants to put a pretty belled collar on you. Maybe watch you curl up in a nest of blankets, safe behind the bars of a cage.

But maybe not, he muses as you chirp a greeting, taking his hand to tug him into your apartment. A lamb inviting a wolf to the pen. He likes you best like this, all loose limbed and free to roam. Thinks maybe you'd lose some of that mischievous glint if he locked you up.

The collar though... he'd like to hear it ring as you bounce around him.

"I am the bestest friend ever," you declare, squeezing calloused fingers so much bigger and crueler and blood-stained than your own. "You know why?"

He arches an eyebrow. Your impish smile widens with delight. "Why's that, luv?"

"Well, you know that one place you wanted last week, but they were closed?"

He grunts and nods. Last week was your choice to pick the movie, which mean he was in charge of dinner.

"Well... they're still closed for repairs but! I talked to the owner, who talked to his mum, and she gave me the recipe for that dish you like. So guess what I did!"

He stares at you for a moment, teeth aching his jaw with the urge to sink them into soft flesh. Mark you as his. How the hell are you real? How the hell are you here?

When he's silent a beat to long, you click your tongue.

"You're no fun - I tried to make it," you explain.

Only then does he become aware of the scent in your apartment. Garlic and red meat and savory spices. His mouth fills with saliva as he focuses his attention on you again.

"Smells great, luv," he says, flicking the corner of his mouth up.

You beam. "Hopefully it's good! I tried it first and it seems alright, but I'm not sure it's as good as the restaurant."

It's almost not a conscious thought to snap his arm out and scoop you up, dragging you in against his chest. You yelp initially, but it devolves into a little giggle as you flatten your palms against his chest.

"Thank you, luv."

Every time he comes into your home, it's a struggle not to keep you. Not to take this place for himself, keep you for his own among all your pretty, soft things. Blood washes out; he'd show you how.

"Rileyyyy!" you mock-whine, pushing at him. "C'mon, before it gets cold."

He wants to make a comment about eating you. Simon thinks he could survive a winter on your taste alone. Instead he lets you on your feet, eases his snake-like grip around your waist. You cast him one last, warm look and skip off to the kitchen to fill bowls with food.

"So what movie are we watching?" you call.

"You ever seen Sinister?" he asks.

You make an annoyed noise. "You know I haven't!"

"Well, that's what we're watching."

You appear with a full, steaming bowl and a beer, shoo him to the couch with a little kick to his ankles. "Get it set up while I finish serving."

"Bossy thing," he tuts, voice a little too low for teasing.

The bridge of your nose darkens with a flush, but you make a cheeky little face in return. "Someone's gotta keep you in line!"

You're gone before you can hear the rumble in his chest. Some days he could swear you know what you're doing; that you know just what sort of animal you're poking at. That you're seeing just how much you can prod before he springs.

He tries not to imagine that cheeky, smug little smirk going all wet-eyed and desperate with lust. Sits to hide the bulge forming in his pants and sets up the movie.

You saunter out with your own, less-filled bowl and a glass of white wine. Take one look at the screen and shoot him an exasperated look.

"I should have known," you complain.

"Literally called Sinister, luv."

"Yeah, I know," you lament.

As soon as the movie starts you're curling into his side, eyes huge. Meal forgotten in your lap.

"Oh, no," you whisper, tilting your face to give him a pleading look. "I can't eat like this!"

"Eat quick, luv. You'll have a break after this first part.”

You do as you’re told; take a big sip of wine when you’re done - just in time for the first jumpscare. You save the wine but quickly put it away, shrinking down against the cushions.

“You’re mean, awful, terrible,” you mumble, fumbling a blanket off the back of the couch.

“‘S not very nice,” he snorts, licking his fork clean. You’d made it quite well for a first time. Not necessarily as good as the restaurant’s but better for you having made it special for him.

“You’re not very nice,” you reply, going stiff with fear as the “home movies” start playing. “No no no, fuck all of that.”

As soon as he’s set his bowl aside, you’re clinging in his arm. Bicep squished against your breasts, little fingers curling hard into flesh. He hopes you’ll leave cute little bruises. Your eyes are huge trained on the tv, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

“Holy shit,” you squeak, hiding your face.

Chuckling, he nudges at you. “Uh uh, no hiding. C’mon, I’m right here.”

You whimper and snuggle in even closer, wedged up against his ribs, leaning into him. Nearly climb into his lap when the creature starts moving on the screen, hands flapping.

“Fuuuuuck that,” you whine, “he’s so fucked oh my god.”

Simon chuckles, setting his other hand on your thigh. Indulges in stroking his thumb over the inseam of your joggers. You barely even seem to notice, engrossed in fear.

By the end, you’re fanning yourself of the panic, shooting him a look that’s meant to be accusing but mostly just owlish.

“You have to make it up to me,” you declare.

Oh, he could think of a dozen ways to do that.

“Yeah?” he rumbles. “What do you need?”

“We’re watching something else. My pick this time.” You pause, shoot him a worried look. “Can you stay for another?”

He smirks. “Couldn’t kick me out if you tried, luv.”

You really couldn’t. Because you’re adorable when you’re scared. Look like something to ruin. But the aftermath is almost better. When your body melts into warmth and (false) safety. The anxiety drains away, leaving you sleepy and pliable. You’ll fall asleep within the hour.

And you do. Clue playing (subtitles on) you’re snoozing against his shoulder before long. He waits until the movie ends for plausible deniability, then takes you to bed. You hardly stir, save to press your nose against his collar with a little hum.

He eases you out of your joggers, eyes flickering at the pretty lace clinging to your hips. Tiny little bows at the sides.

Snuffs out the bedside lamp and fishes his fully-hard cock from his pants. He teases his free hand along your inner thigh, over the lace front of your panties. Scrapes his nail a bit where your clit is hidden. Nearly purrs when you moan softly, wiggling on the mattress to open your thighs wider, still out cold.

Fucks his other hand vicious and brutal, relishing the slight dry pain. Fast and hard, already worked up from having you trembling against him for over an hour. It doesn’t take long to fall over that edge, the memory of your squeaks and cries finishing him off.

He covers the sensitive, angry tip as he cums, no matter how much he wants to paint you with his spend. He takes a deep breath as the pleasure courses through him, twitching through aftershocks. Cracks his neck as he peeks your peaceful expression.

Can’t help himself. Smears his wet thumb over the front of your panties. Nothing you’ll notice in the morning, but you’ll spend all night with him marking your cunt. Maybe even all day tomorrow.

He should go.

Ends up gently, carefully, glossing your bitten bottom lip with a drop of cum as well. Gets rock hard all over again when your tongue flicks out at the sensation, tasting. Still unconscious. You roll over with a sleepy sigh and curl up.

Simon pulls the blankets over you and returns to the living room to clean up from dinner. He’s not yet willing to slink back to his den.

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Masterlist

[thegreatpapaya666]

I'M COMING OUT (a third time) I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW I GOT TO SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING (i forgot the words to the song lmao i heard it in trolls that one time)

hewwo bestie boos

so first i was like "hey y'all i'm pansexual yippee" and that was super fun

but then i got a bf and i was like "fuck this shit" and after a whole bunch of mental breakdances and introspection shit i was like "i'm pansexual and aromantic" so slay

and it was nice because when you're in the Gay Neurodivergent Theater Kid Friend Group™ when you tell your besties how gay you are all they do is laugh and make you a pride pin and doodle you doing shit corresponding to your sexuality (for instance when my bestie came out as ace we drew him throwing garlic bread at some badly drawn dicks it was a whole thing lol) and nobody really gives a shit besides for using the correct pronouns and lovingly making fun of your sexuality

but then i had even more mental breakdances and introspection shit and i was like "wtf??? i thought i maxxed out my gayness" (gay is an umbrella term here) and then i realized i'm ace. but then i was sorta kinda cornfuzzled (that means confused in papaya lingo) bc like how can i be aroace and pan? huh? and then i kept on thinking:

i experience some romantic attraction.

i experience some sexual attraction.

and when i do experience that (however rare it is), it can be for anybody regardless of gender.

so my bestie told me about oriented aroace where you're completely aro and completely ace and you feel the other kinds of attraction that aren't romantic or sexual toward a certain gender and feel like that fits your identity (feel free to correct me on any of this i suck at explaining things and i may have interpreted this badly)

and then there's also angled aroace which is basically the same thing except for aro-spec and ace-spec rather than 100% no romantic & sexual attraction

but my bestie also said that the dude who coined the term "oriented aroace" was sorta kinda gatekeeping and they didn't want grey aroaces invading their term and they weren't "real" aroaces or something whatever and it was super dumb and icky and I don't fully understand it

in conclusion: i think i like pan angled aroace! so I'm using that term now!

however, a lot of people really don't know what that term means. so i don't really know what to tell them cause i suck even more at explaining things irl than online. and i also don't know how to come out to my parents. but i also hate my mom so maybe she doesn't deserve to know. welp that's a conversation for another day.

so thanks for listening and bye bestiesssss <333

edit: i edited the title bc i forgot how to spell for a lil bit :c

[pokemon-void]

howdy, im lupi (they/neos) 16 👍

im a pokemon trainer (not too into battles anymore though lol) and i like helping pokemon and learning about them :] i currently live in hoenn but i was born in unova and i often take in retired battle pokemon and espurrs (from shelters, trainers and the like) to evolve them so theyre no longer nuclear threats lol

here are some of my current pokemon! (will update if i get anymore (yes i have space for them all and they are happy))

*below are my house mons, not ones with the professor

pierogi- my dear partner banette, caught him as a shuppet when i was like 8ish, battler

igris- my dear second partner ceruledge, battler

dumpling- my service riolu. non battler

sailor boy- my leucistic fomantis, non battler

sammich- my shiny mimikyu, a rescue with seperation anxiety, battler (sometimes)

meatball honk- my half blind hisuian zorua, malformed front left leg, non battler

lil man- my lil morelull, non battler

jimbo- my blind hisuian growlithe, has an everstone, non battler

hamburger- my vulpix with paralyzed hind legs, has an everstone, non battler

rui- my ralts, born without legs (has prosthetics), everstone, non battler

svetlana- hamburgers adopted mom, a shiny senior ninetales, retired from battling, non battler (for the most part)

herbert- my senior floragato, hard of hearing and has joint pain, retired battler

pudding- my corviknight, amputated right leg, retired battler

cheezit- my raboot, half blind, retired battler

muddy (nickname)- my senior vaporeon, retired battler

mango smoothie- my senior buizel, everstone, retired battler

rufus- my senior arcanine, stiff joints :(, retired battler

toaster oven- my luxray, battler

zucchini bread- my dragapult, blind, retired battler

vincent- me and my partners haxorus! we share custody, battler

fosters!

tsurara- a visually impaired froslass, non battler

my foster(?) espurrs

strawberry milk- an albino espurr

burnt cheesy garlic bread- a melanistic espurr

nuclear jalapeno popper- a common coloured espurr

theres also a few mons that hang around my house, but they arent actually mine

sooo yeah! 👍 feel free to ask me stuff, i might not know what im talkin about though lol

//very new to pkmn irl stuff! probably wont post a lot (at first at least) any pkmn irl blogs r welcome to interact but i still havent fully figured out tumblr lmao so replies and stuff might be late. in character hate is allowed as long as it aint too scathing. pelipper mail is a solid maybe, depends on what it is. no magic anons. no musharna mail bc it confuses me. interaction and asks very welcome!!

i have pokemon violet (no dlc) and am willing to trade away violet exclusives and some shinies! dm me and we can trade via pokemon home :]

might change the blog around a bit every so often, dont mind it. i think thats all :]

[inkandguns]

Day three of 1# of ground beef or bison bit breakfast. I cooked this pound with garlic mushrooms and Swiss, hamburger style. Pretty excellent. I have more energy and I’m not hungry at all pretty much until right before bedtime. I used 2 tbsp of butter and it was really, really filling. Maybe I’ll just start doing 1/2 pound.

Still got a lil chunk left.

[catboxghost]

ok actually. lemme give u a good weeknight stir fry recipe that comes together in literally 30 minutes.

buy some cheap flank steak, its usually less than $10 per half pound and thats really all u need. slice the flank steak real thin across the grain of the muscle fibers. this does matter, it will make the meat more tender. you also wanna put it all in a bowl and put just a little bit of baking soda, maybe a teaspoon per half pound. allegedly this causes a reaction with the meat that gives it that velvety chinese takeout quality. if youre cool you also add some garlic powder, black pepper, soy sauce and sesame oil and let it all marinate for at least 15 minutes.

while the meat is marinating take this time to prep your vegetables and aromatics (garlic + ginger+ shallot), you want everything ready to go because stir frys happen fast. i like to cut a carrot into little quarter-inch cubes, along with a red pepper, serrano pepper, and broccoli. this is entirely dealers choice of vegetables.

next mix together about a tablespoon of oyster sauce, 2 tbsp of soy sauce, a tbsp of cooking mirin (everyone recommends shaoxing wine but this is hard to find ime) and 1/2 tbsp of rice wine vinegar along with about 2 teaspoons of corn starch in a bit of water. i also like to add cayenne or red pepper flakes bc i like it hot but whatever u like. this is your stir fry sauce.

if you are blessed with a gas stove you can use a wok, but otherwise any large pan works. you just want to make sure you can get it ripping hot (be careful with nonstick pans bc the teflon can vaporize and that is Not Good For You). blitz the beef with oil for about 5 minutes until its not pink anymore and set aside. add aromatics, cook until fragrant (literally like 30 seconds be careful) then add all ur veggies along with some sesame oil to get em a lil brown. cook for 5 more minutes until at least the broccoli is tender, then add the beef back in.

once everyone is being friendly, add ur stir fry sauce specifically ON THE EDGE of the pan so it can evaporate a little bit before getting mixed in. you can also make a lil opening in ur ingredience in the middle of the pan and pour it in there. this is where u stir and also fry, for about 2 more minutes. you remembered to make rice, right? if not then just chop some scallions real small and scatter them over the whole deal.

proceed to eat directly out of the pan while watching a bad tv show. if u play it right this should cost less than $20. remember its always moral to put all ur produce in the same bag and ring it up as shallots at the self-checkout 💛

[dreamersbcll]

Could you write a fic where Sam and Tara seem finally happy, they’ve just finished up their meal at a pizza place that is just a lil bit too cheap to not raise an eyebrow and are now walking home to their apartment before they get bombarded by conspiracy theorists. They go to hassle Sam aggressively shoving her and interrogating her before Tara charges at the theorist, knocking them over and pummelling their face with punches. This protection doesn’t come free,though as the theorists grab Tara and beat her up while same is unable to help. Sam’s guilt would drive her crazy after this

“Loomis”-

————————————————-

“You know, for someplace that only had two stars on Yelp, that hit!”

Sam threw her head back and laughed, pulling her sister in for a side hug. The pair had just finished eating at Guido’s Pizzeria, a family restaurant down the block from their new place. Tara had begged to try it, even though the Yelp reviews were dismal. So they did.

Kissing the side of Tara's head, Sam sighed. “You know, it wasn’t half-bad. The tomato sauce was a little sweet for my taste, but I’d try it again,”.

Tara hummed. “The garlic bread was good. I love garlic bread,”.

“I know you do, my love. I know you do,”.

Sam was so busy fussing with Tara's jacket that she didn’t notice the crowd of men approaching them.

That was her first mistake.

“Oh boys, look what we have here. The killer of Woodsboro!” crowed the ringleader, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Sam moved Tara behind her, eyeing the men forming a circle around her. The two sisters both had tasers and knives on them, but six full-grown men were surrounding them. They would have to be smart about this.

“I think you’ve heard wrong. I’m no such thing,” she carefully said, watching as one of the men started cracking his knuckles.

The ringleader laughed again, a cold, calculated laugh. Tara gripped her wrist harder, her hands shaking. Sam stood straighter, one hand in her coat pocket, grasping the knife hiding there.

He quickly got up in Sam’s face, grinning wider at how both sisters flinched. “No, I think I’m right. You’re the bitch who murdered all those people. And enjoyed it. You’re bold to walk around this city, Sam, the murderer,”.

She bristled, eyes darkening. “I’m not my father. But if you ask nicely, I’m sure I can do a good impersonation of his work. Now back up before I make you,” she growled.

Grinning, he got nose-to-nose with Sam. “I’d like to see you try, Loomis,.”

Her second mistake was not punching him first.

Instead, chaos erupted. Within a blink of an eye, Tara jumped on the guy, screaming that she was not like her father, and pummeled him with a barrage of punches. The other guys, along with Sam, were frozen in shock, watching the man get beat up by a five-foot girl.

Her third mistake was not reacting first.

As she reached down to pull Tara off the guy, the other boys regained their confidence quicker. Two guys yanked Sam up, forcing her to her knees, her arms behind her back. The other three easily plucked Tara off their ringleader, holding her up in the air by her armpits.

The ringleader got up, wiping blood off his nose. He pointed at Sam, and she smiled at the damage Tara had done, despite the fear running through her.

“I’m surprised you let your sister hit first. Maybe you’re not your father's daughter,”.

Tara squirmed in their grip, trying to get free. The ringleader smiled a cold, bone-chilling smile. Before he spoke, Sam connected the dots on what would go down.

“But somebody has to pay for the deaths in Woodsboro. And your sister will be our penance,”.

With that, he advanced on Tara, despite Sam’s pleas and Tara's squirming. Reaching into Tara's jacket pocket, he pulled out the pocketknife.

He waved the knife in Tara's face, smirking at her eyes widened with fear. “Aw. You were gonna use this on me, weren’t you? I wish you did. It would’ve made what would happen next more fun,”.

And with that, he punched Tara in the gut, and Sam let out a scream she never knew she could make.

She doesn’t remember much after that. For every two punches they threw at Tara, one was thrown at Sam. Eventually, she lost track, and Tara stopped crying out.

They gave up after a while, throwing down Sam and letting Tara's limp body hit the ground.

Fighting the urge to black out, Sam reached out for her baby sister. Tara was covered in blood, bruising blossoming over her closed eyes. She wasn’t moving, yet Sam could tell she was still faintly breathing.

The whole image of her sister tore Sam apart. It was yet again another bloodbath she could’ve stopped.

But what made Sam’s breath catch in her throat were the words that were scratched onto her sister’s arm.

Sam Loomis

—-

Sam doesn’t remember getting to the hospital. It was all so sudden.

Flashing lights, questions, and people strapping her down into a gurney.

“I need to see my sister. I need to be by her,” she gasped, wincing as the paramedic stuck a needle in her arm.

The paramedic gently pushed her down again, silencing her. “She’s in the other vehicle. I need you to lay down, Ms. Loomis,”.

She jerked back up, crying out at the pain in her ribs. “It’s not fucking Loomis. I’m Sam, Sam Carpenter!” she spat out.

“Okay, I’m sorry, Ms. Carpenter. My mistake. It was just written on your sister’s arm, that’s all,”.

Laying back, Sam felt woozy. The medication was hitting. Was that a sedative? She hasn’t been sedated in so long. Where was Tara? She should be here.

“Loomis,” she mumbled, drifting off into a drugged sleep for the rest of the ride.

——

“Listen, if you don’t let me see my fucking sister right now, I’ll add more bodies to my list. I swear to god!”

The nurse pushed Sam back down into the bed. “I told you, I’m not afraid to restrain you. Your sister is in the ICU recovering from surgery. No guests right now. Now sit!” she said crossly.

Sam threw her hands back in exasperation. “I’m already stuck in this fucking bed. I want to see her, please!”

She wasn’t above begging anymore. She was stuck in a hospital with her ribs wrapped in gauze and stitches above her eye- and heavily medicated. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere else besides her sister’s side.

“No, Sam. I’m sorry. Maybe later,” the nurse sympathetically said, closing the door softly behind her.

Groaning, Sam laid her head back against the bed. She fucked up. She fucked up tremendously. Once again, due to her lack of awareness, she had gotten the sisters into a perilous situation.

And once again, Tara was hospitalized.

It was as if Sam was incapable of being a protector. She is incapable of taking care of someone that depended on her.

Sam knew deep down that those men were right. She was a killer. She took after her father. She knew all that, and she knew it well.

But she always took pride in how much she loved Tara. How Sam could anticipate her needs, calm her fears, and make Tara feel loved. She knew she could provide that stable love and home Tara craved and deserved.

Yet again, Sam repeatedly proves to the world that she’s a complete and total fuck-up. Unable to take care of the one person who truly matters. She was a failure in all accounts of the world.

She kept her eyes closed and breathed slowly. Deep down, she knew that if she looked into her reflection, she would see Billy.

And he would smile back at her, thanking her for following in his footsteps.

Sam Loomis.

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

I’m sure it’s not original but I improvised the most yummy meal that I’ve been eating for two days and I’m so proud of myself. Maybe this is too highly specific for anyone to get use out of, but I was just really pleased so I wanted to share

- chicken thighs baked with chopped onion, garlic, and salt. Was not too crazy with the flavors at this point because I was unsure of what I was gonna make. Remaking it, a person could do a slow cooker or however they normally like to do their shredded chicken.

- while the chicken was cooking I found some pita and vegan tzatziki sauce (from Trader Joe’s… so good) so I decided to do a gyro type thing.

- made a zaatar spice blend with equal parts cumin, oregano, sesame, sumac and a pinch of salt

- heated up a huge pan with a little olive oil, then added a can of drained chickpeas. When the chicken was out of the oven I shredded it up with forks and threw it in with the chickpeas. Mix in a generous amount of zaatar.

(- optional: I also strained the remaining chicken fat and put it in a container and it’s gonna be SO GOOD to cook veggies in later. Remaining bits got thrown in the pan)

- cook until all those flavors are blending together and the chickpeas are nice and soft.

- serve with pita and tzatziki sauce. Hummus would be good too. Would also be good with rice or chips. If you really want to live in luxury, toast both sides of the pita in the pan a lil bit

[aggressiveviking]

cabbage stew the way i make it

If you ask me why am making this a huge post with pictures, i don't have an answer 😂 just want to share it with a friend

So we start off with the cabbage, obviously. For this I can use fresh or fermented/pickled cabbage. in this picture im using fermented cabbage. Cut it up any way you like it (also I remove the middle stem but it's edible even if u leave it in). This is how I do it.

You get your pot. I usually fill half of it with cabbage, or a lil bit over half cause u don't want it to overflow when it starts to cook. Like so.

If your cabbage is fresh then this amount would shrink up to at least half. As this one is fermented its already shriveled up and it's as much as it would be by the end.

Then you can put some pork, chopped in pieces. You can choose how much or even if you want meat in it. Its still nice even without meat.

It nicer to put in fattier meat because cabbage cause more flavor. I make like 1 layer of it over the cabbage - that's for measurement more than being important for the cooking process.

This is how a chop it and how much I put in.

After that is the onion and the garlic. One big onion would be enough, but if u don't have that size mix and match a few depending on how big they are. I did one medium and one small for this batch, cause it looked right to me 😂 For the garlic 3 or 4 cloves, depending on how big they are. slice them. for some reason i feel like its better than leaving them whole, have flavor everywhere,

chop them up like this and i spread them over the meat, because for some reason i believe onion on top of the meat would make the meat softer.

For tomato I usually use tomato paste. when its this concentrated kind i used like 2 spoonfuls, this much. Prefer to mix that with a little water, like so and i pour it over everything.

Sprinkle some sweet red pepper, enough to cover the whole thing on top but not too much cause its gonna taste powdery 😂 and a few shakes of black pepper, just to have it in there.

Add some vegetable oil. I use sunflower oil but any regular oil would do as long as it doesn't have a strong taste. I usually add around maybe 4 or 5 big spoons. Don't really measure it. Cabbage can take a lot of oil anyway, but too much gets too heavy in my opinion.

and lastly add some bay leaf. very important, wouldn't taste the same without it. I put around 3 average sized bay leaves. 4 if they're really small. 2 if they're big. again just go with what feels right.

i then cook this in a multi-cooker (rice cooker) on STEW setting for 40 minutes, but you can do the same on a stove top. I think 40 min would be enough as well. I mean it's cabbage. you just cook it until its soft.

You don't need to add water to it cause the cabbage has a lot of water in it and it's gonna come out when u cook it on its own. If u start to see it burning in the bottom tho u can add a lil water

When it's done just stir it all up.

Either eat it as is, like a stew or lay it out on a pan/tray and bake it some in the oven.

It's like the best winter meal, especially when u put a lil chili in. I actually ate it today with sambal. Usually just use chili flakes or a chili pepper on the side that u just bite into. Mixed half a spoonful of sambal with my plate and it was so nice.

[batemanofficial]

ive been possessed by an idea for a dish and i just know i won't be able to rest until i make it. focaccia. rosemary in there. basil pesto on top. lil bit of scallion in the pesto. garlic too. shaved fennel and pears. taleggio. ricotta. gorgonzola. maybe a little burrata if we're feelin fancy. broil for gooification on the cheese and brûlée on the produce. top with prosciutto. truffle oil. a lil blowtorch action for crispety crunch effect on the prosciutt. wham bam thank you ma'am

[thestudentfarmer]

Hello hello, sharing a bit of food post as promised the other day :)

I made squash noodles! Yes, I was inspired by tiktok, Food use inspiration can be shared and come from anywhere :) this was my first time making noodles of any kind and I'm glad I tried it out!

I used acorn squash and delicata squash. I washed, halved and gutted them. Saving the seeds for a snack for us this time.

Baked them at 350-375 *f for about an hour. I like using a roasting pan and cook a few extra at a time to save heat and supplies. I also like to bake some potatoes to cook for breakfast the next day.

Cooked up and scooped out into containers for various meals for the week. The shells I set aside for compost/chicken feed.

Mixed some scoops of both squash w/ flour. I didn't measure but I did add quite a bit more flour throughout. Mix it well till the dough is no longer sticky and is fairly smooth. It may take awhile, if you have a stand mixer I'd suggest using it to protect your wrists.

Smooth enough for me. I let the dough rest a few hours before cooking so the flour could get more springy. I don't think it's necessary but I just didn't have time to cook immediately and like how it came out.

Used scissors to snip them into peices and dropped straight into boiling salted water.

What they looked like after boiling. I tried one right after and it's a bit bitter. Definatly wouldn't suggest eating as is (though I can't say all squash pasta will be so! Could jsut be that I used delicata/acorn squash)

To finish off I used green enchilada sauce, some salt, pepper, garlic and cumin. Mixed w/ the pasta and some shredded pork and let it reduce a bit. Plated and topped with a sprinkle of cheese and a lil more Chile sauce.

Came out very good, even the most skeptic veggie eater of the house enjoyed it and asked if we could have it again sometime! :D

Was it good? Yes.

Would we eat again? Also yes!

Personal food idea/suggestion w/for these noodles?

Maybe a carrot soup broth w/ coconut cream or heavy cream would be good w/ the noodles.

Chicken noodle soup would be tasty too, just cook the noodle in the chicken stock to take advantage of the startchyness of the flour for thickener. Lil more black pepper. Garlic and use pumpkin or a bit more sweet squash for the squash puree.

Now on to the seeds, I prepared them similarly to pumpkin seeds.

Wash well, let dry and then use a bit of oil, seasoning of choice and cook 375-400* f till crispy on both sides.

Much smaller seeds. But equally tasty as pumpkin seeds, I kinda burnt these ones a lil bit, I got distracted with tidying the kitchen a bit.

Well that's it for now :)

🌱 🎃 Happy Homesteading, gardening and good cooking! 🎃 🌱

12 28 2023

[frogwithhatto]

König being Austrian

I posted these like a week ago on Ao3 and totally forgot to cross post them here!!

- König speaks the roughest german dialect known to man there’s no way he speaks high/clean German like they do in Germany. He can talk clean German but just chooses not to just to fuck with anyone who might have a poor command on his language.

- He swears. A LOT, like to the point where there are bets on how often he will use certain words of his mother tongue. I’m talking „oarschdreck“ and „gschissener“

- When someone pisses him off he mumbles „deppada oarsch“ under his lil hood. He knows no one will hear it so maybe he throws in some more of his favourite curses.

- „Schau da die trotteln an so a Haufen deppada.“

- His phone has autocorrect on and some English words get corrected to German one’s so texting with him involves a lot deciphering. It also doesn’t help that he uses like 10 different emoji’s after every sentence.

- I know that man makes an excellent cucumber salad. It’s definitely his comfort food. It’s cut up cucumbers with a dressing made of sourcream, garlic, vinegar, oil and a bit of sugar. Most of the time he will eat it straight away but sometimes he has enough self control to let it sit for a bit. (It’s way better if the cucumbers soak up some of the dressing!)

- Speaking of food. He loves cooking for other people and will be incredibly careful and considerate when it comes to special diets, allergies as well as vegetarian and vegan food. (He just wants everyone to be happy and full okay??)

- He also bakes (occasionally). He got gifted one of those god awful aprons with the sexualised picture of a woman’s body wearing a Dirndl on the front. (please tell me you know what I’m talking about)…he wears it every time he bakes and cooks.

- L o v e s to sing along to German Songs knowing no one understands a word. (Especially when he’s drunk)

- He loves Rammstein. (No I won’t consider other opinions)

- König‘s taste in music is generally heavier but he does like to listen to Falco from time to time.

- Definitely watches children’s shows he remembers fondly from growing up whenever he comes home from a mission it’s sort of a tradition. Will ask other people if they want to join him because he forgets the fact he watches them in German. He would eat Griesbrei (with cocoa powder) or rice pudding (with raspberry syrup) while watching.

- English not being his first language he sometimes struggles with it especially when he’s drunk, anxious or horny. Switching between the two in a matter of sentences or sometimes even words.

- König knows his English isn’t as bad as it could be but he does get insecure about his accent sometimes. It’s hard for him to pronounce certain words especially if he starts to overthink them. German being a harsher/rougher language when it comes to certain letters makes him struggle with the smoother English ones.

- He loves complimenting people in German. If he musters up the courage to compliment anyone it’s in German and probably half mumbled too.

- Sings or hums german lullabies to himself if he can’t sleep or attempts to ground himself.

- Gets a bit shy about his heritage sometimes so he would be absolutely delighted to teach another person something about his culture and maybe you want him to translate some English words to German?? Want to try some of his favourite food from home? No problem „I vould luv to cook for u.“ he smiles.

- Speaking of someone using German when talking to him… Call him „Meins“ or „Liebling“ and he’s going to be putty in your hands.

Translations: Oarschdreck - fucking shit (?)

Gschissener - could be used for calling someone an asshole

Deppada oarsch - dumb asshole

Schau da die Trotteln an so a Haufen deppada - look at those idiots, a bunch of douches

Meins - mine, Liebling - my love

[ctrldoll]

Tuition with Mr. O’Hara! ✎ᝰ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

GN! Reader & Miguel O'Hara

Genre: Fluff, A Lil' Bit Of Angst & Comedy (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

TW: Swearing.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Uthman Esa (@uthman_esa)

If you can't watch the reel or you don't want to (You're so reel for that! <3 Okay, okay. I'm leaving!🚪👈🏾 🚶🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️)

This reel had me cracking up which just increased when I realised how much of a funny scenario this would be between Miguel and the grandchild (his child, he decreed) of the grandma who owns his favourite small corner store! (⁠个⁠_⁠个⁠)

Peace and Blessings to You, My Love! <3

“Carrots, tomatoes, onions, garlic, chillies, cu...” Miguel walked around the store, his cart rolling and stopping as he made a quick stop at the sweet section and then the snacks section, wondering if it would be worth it to indulge just this once in his delicious desire before shaking his head as he left the area. He rushed back to collect a box of cookies and maybe that box of tres leches cake as well.

The store was quiet; a few customers were scanning goods as others walked out, younger ones waving a bye and ‘See ya, Matt!’ then beating their chests with a clenched arm. The young man with a tussle of dreadlocks smiled eagerly and beat their chest as well, then waved. “See y'all at the game!”

Miguel was glad for the quiet atmosphere. His senses were more at peace and not as stimulated as they would be outside of it. The store was one of the few quiet havens he had access to in a city this active and a duty to its inhabitants so tasking.

Suddenly, the rough push of the store's door was brought to his attention, and the rushed footsteps of two into the storeroom made him stare at the direction they were headed. The elderly owner of the store, Donna, waved at him as she smiled before scowling when she turned to her grandchild. [Name], guilty, looked away from Miguel’s gaze, which questioned the situation that occurred for both to be upset.

“Grandma, I'm sorry.” He heard you plead, your voice breaking as you struggled to put together words to reassure her. “Do you not appreciate anything I do for you? I always have to defend your foolish behaviour. I’m tired of it.” She tiredly responded, stacking up small boxes to remove and arrange their goods at the store. You grabbed some boxes yourself, hearing a hum from her as she quickly glanced at you from the corner of her eye before walking out.

“Well, that's the last customer, Ms.Myres.” Matt said, twirling the closed sign at the shut door, then removing his green apron. “Thank you as always, Matt. Heading for the soccer game now?” She thanked him as he took the boxes out of her hand and knelt down to place the goods in their selected positions.

“I have thirty more minutes, Ms.Myers. It's gonna be great! The two teams have had a bit of rivalry, so the game’s going to determine who’s better! My team’s definitely winning!”

“Hmph. If he’s the one picking the winning team, they're definitely losing.” You said, smirking as you took one box from him and arranged it. Matt bit back a curse as Donna was in the room and instead glared at you. Your smirk dropped due to the stink eye your grandmother drew at you, and you turned back to your task. “At least I make the right choices, unlike some people.”

“You want to say that again?” You scoffed and turned to him with a glare. Frustration built up in you as you watched him ignore you. “Of course it's like you to say something stupid, then shut up. Prick.” You whispered the insult and stood up.

“That wasn't a very nice thing to say, [Name].” The rattle of the back door’s ornaments brought your attention to Miguel, who’s hands were littered with dust and guided himself to the sink at the corner. “Your security system’s fixed, Donna. It just needed some new wires.”

“Thank you, Miguel. You're so kind. Feel free to treat yourself to whatever.” Donna said, discreetly showing him the pieces of tres leches cake she reserved for him and a cup of tea.

“I was just helping out, Donna. No need to give me anything.” Miguel responded and uttered a ‘thank you’ before placing a piece in his mouth.

“Matt shouldn't say such things, then.” You responded, glaring at Matt as you wiped the countertop. Matt rolled his eyes as he discarded the trash from the bin. “Then maybe you should act your age. You're not a lil' kid anymore.”

“He’s so stupid.” You said, watching Matt disappear to the back of the store and rolled your eyes at the stern look Miguel had. “Your ears must be pretty good for you to have heard me.”

“They are.” He smiled and chuckled when you rolled your eyes. “What trouble did you get into today?” Miguel asked. A frown adorns itself on your face. You looked away from him and moved your eyes to your grandmother, silently pleading that she wouldn't talk about it.

“They failed a math test. What bothers me was not that they failed it, but rather their answers when I looked at the paper. Quite dumb, if you ask me.” Your grandmother sternly looked at you as you looked away, bothered.

“They weren't that bad, Grandma.” You tried to defend yourself but froze when your paper was handed over to Miguel.

You knew that your grandmother considered Miguel her son, as she bonded with him when he was a child, and she was friends with Conchata, and the woman trusted her to babysit him and his brother. Miguel also worked in the store for a bit. They were practically family at this point.

“I quit. Imma learn how to cook instead.” You cringed as you heard Miguel’s deep voice repeat, the tone suggesting that he had a lot to say about your paper as well.

You heard a chuckle and turned to Matt, who struggled not to smile, failing miserably when he saw your glare admist your embarrassment. “Guess, I'm done for the day, Ms. Myres. I'll be on my way now. See you tomorrow!” “See you tomorrow, Matt! Good luck! I hope your team wins!” “I hope so too, Ms. Myres!”

“You’re in so much trouble.” Matt mouthed at you and smirked, then left. Your hand gripped the door handle, ready to chase after him, before Miguel stopped you. “Cariño, ven aquí.” "Darling, come here.” He motioned to you, and you perked at him from the corner of your eye. His look was stern, and his eyebrows hightened at your hesitation. You loudly sighed in exasperation, then headed up to him.

“I didn't raise you to make such noises, [Name]!”

“Sorry, Grandma”. You said and held back a tut. Now, in front of the man, the cola that was displayed next to you looked a lot more interesting than you found it before.

“Look at me, Cariño.” You shyly turned your head towards him. “Did you prepare for this test?” You kept quiet, trying to not look away. “I’ve asked you a question.” He said, his heart breaking at the desperate look on your features, but stayed stern.

“N-not really. No.” You said and quickly wiped away a stray tear that fell onto your cheek. Tears threatened to increase when you saw your grandma’s sadness on her face when she looked at you, her shoulders slumped in disappointment.

“Why?” He asked, looking through each answer you gave out. “Your answers really show that you don't care about your grades. Academics, really.”

“Umm...” You took a sharp breath. The atmosphere was so tense. You knew that anything you said might stir the conversation in a terrible direction.

“I'm just not really good at processing things.” You whispered at the end, looking away as your embarrassment increased.

“Not telling anyone about your struggles and not asking for help isn't going to help you.” Miguel responded, disappointment curling his brow. “Isn’t Matt your classmate? Maybe you could have ask- Nevermind.” He sighed as he caught onto the way your face scrunched at the mention of Matt. “If you continue like this, you’ll end up struggling a lot in the future.”

“I know.” You responded, and lowered your eyes to the ground. “[Name].” “I’m sorry.” You apologised for looking away.

“If you want, I can tutor you.” Miguel said after a moment, with a soft smile on his expression. “...What?” You responded, eyes wide at his suggestion. “You would?” You asked, in disbelief.

“Would you? Don't you already have a lot on your plate?” Your grandmother asked and walked up to the both of you with a look of worry on her face.

“I'd be glad to. With your permission, of course.” “Yes! Thank you so much, Miguel!” Your grandmother hugged him while you processed the new task you had in hand.

“Thank you, Miguel.” You said after a moment, with a soft smile on your face. “I should have just admitted it.” You shook your head and chuckled when you heard him chuckle. “At least you know better now.”

“Yup.”

“Matt’s gonna love this.”

I ship Matt & [Name]! <3 ✧⁠\⁠(⁠>▽<⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠✧ They're so cute! ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

Yes!!! <3 ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃ (⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠)⁠つ⁠⊂⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠)

[cipheramnesia]

I’m Jewish and into freakish food, do you have a fried matzah recipe?

It's not especially freakish, but like usually people crumble up the matzoh into the eggs.

So like fried matzoh do one to one and a half matzohs per person. I like one and a half, and one egg per half matzoh so three eggs for one an a half. Anyway you mix your eggs with whatever seasoning you want, I like some garlic and dill and pepper in there, my heartspace enby like paprika and nutmeg and a lil pepper and my nonbinary wife just a dash of pepper, idk always season your eggs really I think.

You get your eggs mixed and you break your matzoh into around four big squares and around four smaller rectangles plus the extra bits the fall off, and next you hold em carefully in one hand and lightly run cold water on them, just wave em back n forth under the tap with a little bit going, not a lot, or don't the water bit isn't 100% required but they do cook better that way. Then dump em in the eggs and get out a really big pan and start heating it up to medium low or low or whatever you normally use for an omelet and while that's happening flip them around in the eggs to get all the pieces nicely coated, again don't be worried about getting it all everywhere just kinda toss an flip them a bit.

The pan probably is not quite heat up here and if you have other people this is when you start breaking up the next squares and dampening them. Now the pan's all good and hot with butter or oil or whatnot so you lay your squares in there, big ones on the middle, small ones around the edge, make a crude circle. I usually leave a tiny gap in the very middle between the squares because I found it cooks better that way. But you'll probably break a few bits off to make it all fit and have some overlap and that's fine, then pour the egg out in there on top.

Swish the pan around a bit to distribute the egg then mix up the next batch of egg and spices for your guest while that's cooking and dump the matzoh pieces in there. Go and tilt the pan around again so the egg that isn't cooked up gets more evenly distributed and then go flip all your matzoh pieces in the egg for your guest and if you have a third guest start breaking up the next set of squares. Probably this is five or so minutes and you go give that matzoh in the pan a little shake to be sure it's not stuck.

The egg can still be a little gooey on top but the whole thing should now slide around cohesively which is how you know the bottom is cooked, if the individual pieces wiggle separately it's not done, but when it's pretty together take your biggest spatula and flip the whole thing over, the bottom should be anywhere from standard eggy yellow to golden and let it cook for maybe another thirty seconds then slide that bad boy onto a plate and salt to taste. Now start the next one for your guest.

After you get the hang of it they take maybe 15 minutes from "I haven't gotten any fried matzoh ingredients out" to "I have fried matzoh " and the ones after that go even faster.

Ingredients are matzoh, 2-3 egg, some kinda oil or butter, spices, running water. Break matzoh into square, wet lightly, set in the egg. Put into med low heated pan and cook more than five less than ten minutes, flip and wait a few moments then serve.

Also obligatory flirting

Hi I'm Evil Deeds.

[shaymiens]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Day 15💙

What are your top 3 comfort foods? 🤗

And which 3 foods to you try to avoid at all costs? (aka how could Garrett completely ruin your day if you were on eioyi 🤢)

cute q!!

comfort foods:

a bowl of pho with beef balls and rare meat. making this my top comfort food instead of a filipino dish feels like blasphemy BUT WHAT CAN I SAY pho hits So Hard!!

homemade stovetop mac and cheese where you just throw in a bunch of spices instead of caring about fresh garlic or making a roux or other fancy stuff. like cook the noodles in broth and milk, toss in some garlic powder and taco seasoning and pepper, maybe some bacon bits if i have them on hand... i could literally down an entire pan. it's wild.

ok this is really specific and probably very gross to everyone who isn't me lol. my mom gets canned corned beef with with little hashed potato bits, and she mixes it with beaten eggs, and she cooks up like little corned beef hash patties. i ate them with white rice and ketchup for breakfast. i thrive on sodium.

foods i avoid:

dinuguan is a filipino stew. i used to eat it as a kid, not necessarily because i liked it, but because my parents wanted me to like it. once i learned it used pork blood, i stopped eating it. i don't view it any less of a food per se, but the idea of eating it myself personally makes me a lil uncomfortable

rare steak -- incredibly common, i'm just not a fan of the taste and the look!!

seaweed salad -- a weird one. every time i try it in a sushi place, i just think it tastes bad.

overall i don't think i'm too picky, i'm just opinionated :>