#and maybe a bad end path for mc x rika because those rika mc images were fire

[kumeko]

A/N: For the @mysmecircuszine! I can’t really write Rika without V, I adore them too much, so this ended up being a Rika/V/MC piece. I wish I could have gone a bit bigger with the Rika/V parts but alas, restrictions.

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Rika had known before she’d started her job that it would take a lot of effort. She was the ringmaster for a circus, after all, a job on par with being a manager. There was always something to do, whether it was inspecting the equipment, checking the performances, or even just managing the finances. Even now, scant minutes before the big tent opened for the first performances of the day, she was running ragged in the prep tent, double checking that everyone was ready.

Fortunately, for the most part, her performers were on top of things. Preparing for the open act, the acrobatic Zen limbered up, stretching in his shiny leotard. Golden ribbons were woven into his braided hair, both keeping the long locks out of his way and enhancing his visual appeal. Next to him, Vanderwood gave a thumbs up as she passed, confirming he’d already checked the nets and ropes were all secure.

The secondary act of clowns were almost suited up. Her cousin Yoosung was barely recognizable underneath all of the bright, gaudy makeup. He honked a horn as she passed, his smile brighter than the sun, and something in Rika uncoiled at the sight. She waved as she continued to run down the checklist.

Jumin and his white lion, Elizabeth the Third, hadn’t arrived yet, but she had expected that. They were the third act after all, and Rika found that Elizabeth tended to get antsy if she waited in the tent. Saeran and Saeyoung were operating the light and sound effects from up in the booth. V—

A woman stepped into the tent, scattering Rika’s thoughts instantly. She was a new performer, Rika remembered dimly. They had met before. For the life of her, though, she couldn’t remember. She couldn’t even remember her name. And she couldn’t stop staring at the stranger as she led her horse in.

To be fair, there was a lot to take in. The platinum silver steed had flowers braided into its tail and mane, bright daffodils and lilies that contrasted brightly against its pale colouring. Its harness and saddle had a plant motif, the equipment looking like it had been formed with vines. Yet, even more stunning was the woman. Dressed in a smart pink suit with black dress pants, she looked like a handsome fairy sprung to life. Even her coattails looked like flower petals, and a red rose was pinned to her short brown hair.

The only thing out of place was how nervous she looked. Her light brown hands fidgeted with the harness, adjusting and readjusting as she waited her turn.

Rika should say something. She should do something.

Noticing her stare, the woman brightened and waved.

Finally remembering how to move, Rika waved back and forced herself back to work.

-x-

“You mean MC, the new horse rider?” Jihyun chuckled as he fiddled with his camera, playing with the settings as he looked through today’s pictures. “You’ve seen her practice before.”

Rika moved her chair closer to him. Her trailer was small, just barely big enough to fit both a bedroom and a business room. At this point, though, the management side of things had taken over most of the surfaces, with binders upon binders of research, budgets, and other minutia claiming any open area. It was easier to just meet Jihyun here after each day’s work as they discussed their future promotional material. Most of the information they needed was in the trailer after all.

And, at this point, enough of his things were mixed up with hers that they might as well be sharing both trailers anyways.

“I know. I must have approved her act too.” Their shoulders bumped as she leaned forward, examining the picture he’d stopped at. In it, Jumin rubbed Elizabeth’s head, the pampered lion leaning into his touch with a content expression. “That’s a good one for the new posters.”

“I thought so too.” Jihyun smiled, pleased. “It’s a good shot.”

“All your shots are good.” Rika squeezed his hand affectionately. If he hadn’t offered to take care of the advertising logistics, she was certain he’d be a world-class photographer. One day, he’d go back to his real position, though she wasn’t sure what she’d do when he did. She could barely manage as it was with him taking part of the workload. “I don’t think I saw her in costume before. Or maybe she wore something different? I don’t know, she just…she just looked very different when she arrived yesterday.”

“I think she updated the costume.” Jihyun glanced at her curiously now, his fingers stilling. “Did something happen?”

Rika flushed, pulling back. “No, nothing,” she blurted. How was she supposed to explain her instant, visceral reaction earlier? If she couldn’t explain it to herself, how could she even find the words to tell him? Smiling weakly, she added, “I just forgot who she was, for a moment.”

“You forgot?” The words had the opposite effect and Jihyun frowned. He set aside the camera, reaching forward to cradle her cheek. His thumb brushed her baggy eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping properly.”

Instinctively, she leaned into his warm touch. “There’s just a lot to do. Once I catch up with my work, I’ll get a good night’s rest.”

His frown grew deeper. “You don’t have to do all that work alone. I’ve finished most of the advertising work, I can take on other tasks.”

It was tempting. Scattered around the room were bills, forms, layouts and other tasks. It wouldn’t hurt to give him just a little bit. Yet, this was her circus, her job. If she couldn’t handle her ringmaster’s duties, then what was she doing here?

And if she wasn’t needed here, then where would she be needed?

“It’s fine,” Rika lied, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I have it under control.”

-x-

Once a week, Rika had to inspect the equipment, making sure everything was up to order. It was a serious task. She took it seriously. She was definitely not using it as an excuse to stand stock still next to the outdoor paddock, watching as MC ran through her acts.

Honestly, what was she doing here? The sun was high in the sky, as sure a sign as any that Rika had to go before she got even further behind in her duties.  Yet, she couldn’t tear her eyes away as MC stood on her horse’s saddle, looking as steady as though she were on land. Today, MC was dressed down, wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. She still looked utterly handsome.

Now that she had time to think about it, Rika had seen her before, only she had been so busy rushing through her duties that she hadn’t paid her any mind. Maybe it was a good thing she hadn’t noticed—it was hard not to stop and watch as MC shifted through her stances. It was like watching a bird in flight, free, graceful, and entirely in its element.

“Oh!” Noticing her, MC almost tipped over.

“Careful!” Rika stepped forward, grasping the fence.

MC righted herself right away. Sliding down onto the saddle, she gently slowed her horse before coming to a stop right in front of Rika. With a laugh, she rubbed her neck sheepishly. “That was a close one.”

“It scared me,” Rika admitted, her heart still pounding from fear.

“Sorry about that, Ms. Kim.” MC ducked her head apologetically before sliding off her horse. She landed on the dirt with a soft thud.

“Rika,” she corrected automatically.

“Oh.” MC’s eyes widened and she swallowed thickly. “Rika, then. You can call me MC.”

There was something about the way her name rolled off MC’s tongue. Rika tried not to think about it. “Your performance was so amazing, I didn’t think you could stumble.”

“Really?” MC smiled brightly, still a bright red. Rika wasn’t sure if it was from adrenaline or embarrassment. Or maybe even something else, entirely. “I actually fall a lot. I’ve never really performed in front of such a big group before. I was afraid I’d do it during the show, but I got lucky.”

“You didn’t look nervous at all,” Rika reassured, surprised by the confession. “I thought you were a natural.”

“I practiced.” MC grinned boyishly. Her short hair ruffled with a stray breeze. “I had a lot of scrapes before I auditioned here.” She rubbed her arm ruefully. “Well, I guess I still have some now. I’ve got a long way to go before I’m a pro.

“That’s the mark of a true performer.” Rika chuckled. Everyone here kept striving for a higher point, a greater success. Even Jumin and Zen, who didn’t have a humble bone in their bodies, still pushed themselves for better performance.

“I’m not good enough to be called that,” MC replied bashfully, looking pleased nonetheless. She delicately clasped Rika’s hand. “If you want, I can show you a new act I’ve been trying.”

A pleasant jolt ran up Rika’s arm and she almost said Yes.

Almost, but the sun was still high, her checklist unfinished, and she had wasted enough time was it was. Reluctantly, she shook her head and stepped back. Her hand dangled limply by her side. “I still have a few errands to complete.”

MC’s expression dimmed slightly before she rubbed her neck sheepishly. “Right, I’m sure you have a lot to do. Maybe next time.”

“Maybe,” Rika echoed, a sense of hollowness filling her.

-x-

Rika stood in the center of the arena, the bright lights falling on her. Above her, she knew Zen was already starting his descent from his high-wire act. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,” she announced, drawing their audience’s eyes to her instead of the shadows as they moved equipment around the stage.

In her bright red tailcoat, she was impossible to miss. “You have seen our performers soar like bird, but have you seen anyone fly like a cannonball?”

A drumroll started, Saeran following her cues faithfully.

A second spotlight shone to her right as the cannon finally stood in place. Yoosung honked brightly as he stood next to it.

As the spotlight widened, encompassing the entire tent, Rika stealthily moved to the side as the clowns took over the floor. Above her, the crowd laughed at their antics, as Yoosung and his friends tried to figure out what the cannon was.

She wished she could share their joy. Instead, she was all too keenly aware of the empty seats above her, the delay in the music, the shift in the background as Vanderwood adjusted the nets for the cannon.

The show had to be better. Tonight would be another sleepless night.

-x-

Seated in the costume tent, Rika picked up a pair of blue sequin pants, admiring how the light hit the small mirrors sewn in. The clothes were in good order, they looked appropriately modern, and so she hung them back on the rack.

Maybe she could put off changing their base theme until next year. By that point, they’d need a wardrobe change anyways.

“Hey, Rika!”

It wasn’t like audiences didn’t like their current fantasy theme anyways.

“Rika!”

That jerked her out of her thoughts, and she snapped her head to her right to find Yoosung standing there, juggling three balls effortlessly. Wearing a pair of baggy overalls and a bright red nose, he looked like he needed a costume upgrade.

“Oh, Yoosung.” Embarrassed, she put back the dress she’d been inspecting. “Is something wrong?”

“Sorta.” There had been a time when he couldn’t even manage that with two balls and she felt proud at his progress. “Not for me, but…well, for you.”

“For me?” Perplexed, she raised a brow.

He stepped back, trying to keep the balls in the air. “It’s just…I was thinking…you could use a break.” A ball slipped out of his grasp, hitting his foot, and he jumped back as the rest fell down after. “Whoops.”

Rika giggled as he quickly picked up and pocketed the ball. Clasping her hands behind her, she teased, “Are you sure you don’t need a break?”

“Not you too. It’s bad enough Saeran can do, like, ten of these.” Yoosung pouted, glaring at her balefully. “He doesn’t even practice. I know he’s just doing this to show off.”

“I don’t think he is?” Rika scratched her cheek. To be honest, it was hard to tell with him sometimes.

“I know he is—wait, that’s not what I’m here for.” Yoosung grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. “Rika, seriously, you need a break.”

Part of her wondered if Jihyun had talked to him. His palm was warm and sweaty but she didn’t pull away. “Yoosung, I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” he argued, stomping a foot in frustration. “You’re doing too much work again. You always do this.”

“I’m not doing too much,” she protested. “Jihyun’s taking care of advertising—”

“And you’re doing everything else again.” Yoosung tightened his grip. “You’re always the first one up, the last one asleep. Every day you’re running from tent to tent. I don’t think anyone’s seen you rest for more than five minutes.”

“That’s…that’s not true,” she denied weakly.

“I can help you, you know? I can do more than clown around.” He looked down at her desperately and she realized with a start that at some point, he’d grown taller than her. “Jaehee said she could handle the daily checks. Everyone wants to help you.”

“I…” Rika bit her lip, staring at their clasped hands, at how his fingers dug into her skin.

“Please,” he pleaded again.

Even his hands had grown bigger and stronger than hers when she hadn’t noticed. Closing her eyes, she nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

-x-

Somehow, she found herself back at the paddock. Rika didn’t know when she’d started to come here when she was worried, but her feet always brought her here when she needed to think.

By this point, MC stopped stumbling when she’d arrived. Instead, she smoothly slipped into her saddle, looking like a horsewoman of old as she and her steed quickly cantered toward Rika. “Good afternoon!”

“Good afternoon,” Rika replied automatically. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Not at all.” MC smiled sunnily. She patted her horse’s flank. “We love it when you come, right, buddy?”

“Me too,” she murmured absentmindedly. “I like coming here too.”

There was something calming about MC’s presence, though for once even she wasn’t enough to stop the thoughts swarming Rika’s mind. There was so much to do. Jihyun wanted to help. But she had to be able to do it herself, it was pointless otherwise. Yoosung and Jaehee had offered their aid. But if she couldn’t do it on her own, why was she even here?

Her mind ran in circles, jumping back and forth between thoughts. The others had their own jobs. This was all she had: her position as ringmaster, her tasks as the manager. If she lost them, what else would she have?

“I was actually just thinking—Zen mentioned that we could try a double act, and I might not be as flexible as him but—” MC cut herself off. Gripping the fence, she leaned closer, peering up at Rika. “Are you okay?”

Rika flushed and stepped back, startled. “I-I’m fine.”

MC frowned, not buying it for an instant. “You’re not.”

“I am,” she repeated, insistent. “Really, I am.”

Crossing her arms, MC regarded her doubtfully for a moment. An unreadable emotion flickered across her face and she nodded. “Fine.”

“That—”

Before Rika could say anything further, MC opened the paddock and grabbed Rika’s wrist, pulling her in. “Then you have time to go for a ride with me today.”

“What?” Rika balked, but MC was stronger than she looked. “I can’t, I really don’t—”

“Have the time?” MC finished, shaking her head. Her hand was warm on Rika’s skin, her face too close. “It’s only for a few minutes. Think of it as a break.”

Rika faltered. “That’s not…”

Sensing weakness, MC pressed, “Then think of it as helping me with my show.”

“I…I can’t ride,” she argued weakly, unable to pull away, unable to do anything but follow as MC guided her to her horse.

MC chuckled. “That’s fine, I can. You don’t have to do everything, right? That’s why we’re all here.”

Part of Rika wondered how much MC knew, if Jihyun and Yoosung had come to her. The rest of her didn’t care as MC’s hands were on her waist, guiding her up onto the saddle, or as MC slipped on behind her, her arms caging Rika in place.

MC leaned forward, her breath hot on Rika’s ear. “Don’t worry, it’ll just be a normal ride.”

And without further warning, the horse sprang forward and they were off. Rika gasped as they picked up speed, moving from a trot to a canter to an all out run. The wind whistled as they rode, her body bumping on the uneven ground.

“Easy does it,” MC murmured, and Rika wasn’t sure if she was talking to her or the horse.

It didn’t matter. They rounded the edge of the paddock, turning swiftly. Rika had ridden Zen’s motorcycle once and there was a similar feel of flying, of freedom. A thrill ran up her spine as they charged across the dirt.

The sensation refused to leave long after she slipped off the horse into MC’s waiting arms, their heads almost bumping into each other at the clumsy dismount. Rika laughed and MC grinned. “It’s fun, right?”

“Yeah.” Rika pulled back reluctantly, brushing her messy hair back behind her ears. “A lot of fun.”

“Good, I’m glad you liked it.” MC reached up, pushing a stray lock out of Rika’s face. “You look better now.”

If her face felt hot, Rika blamed it on the ride.

-x-

Rika stared at the paperwork in her room. There were bills to pay, forms to fill out, material to approve. She had to pick a new theme for their next season and the lineup to match. It was something she used to look forward to.

Now, it was just another chore. She had forgotten how fun working at the circus could be, how fun it was supposed to be.

She could still feel the wind in her ears, MC’s arm around her waist.

That didn’t mean this couldn’t be fun again.

-x-

Rika knocked on a familiar trailer. There was a time when she used to go to Jihyun nightly, when she all but lived in his trailer. It had been too long since she’d visited him. Since she’d made the time for something other than work.

A disheveled Jihyun opened the door, his expression confused as he took her in. “Rika,” he breathed, her name several questions in one.

Rika smiled softly. “Jihyun, could you help me?”

His expressions softened immediately, and he stepped back. “Of course.”

[kumeko]

A/N: For the @mysmecircuszine! I can’t really write Rika without V, I adore them too much, so this ended up being a Rika/V/MC piece. I wish I could have gone a bit bigger with the Rika/V parts but alas, restrictions.

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…

Rika had known before she’d started her job that it would take a lot of effort. She was the ringmaster for a circus, after all, a job on par with being a manager. There was always something to do, whether it was inspecting the equipment, checking the performances, or even just managing the finances. Even now, scant minutes before the big tent opened for the first performances of the day, she was running ragged in the prep tent, double checking that everyone was ready.

Fortunately, for the most part, her performers were on top of things. Preparing for the open act, the acrobatic Zen limbered up, stretching in his shiny leotard. Golden ribbons were woven into his braided hair, both keeping the long locks out of his way and enhancing his visual appeal. Next to him, Vanderwood gave a thumbs up as she passed, confirming he’d already checked the nets and ropes were all secure.

The secondary act of clowns were almost suited up. Her cousin Yoosung was barely recognizable underneath all of the bright, gaudy makeup. He honked a horn as she passed, his smile brighter than the sun, and something in Rika uncoiled at the sight. She waved as she continued to run down the checklist.

Jumin and his white lion, Elizabeth the Third, hadn’t arrived yet, but she had expected that. They were the third act after all, and Rika found that Elizabeth tended to get antsy if she waited in the tent. Saeran and Saeyoung were operating the light and sound effects from up in the booth. V—

A woman stepped into the tent, scattering Rika’s thoughts instantly. She was a new performer, Rika remembered dimly. They had met before. For the life of her, though, she couldn’t remember. She couldn’t even remember her name. And she couldn’t stop staring at the stranger as she led her horse in.

To be fair, there was a lot to take in. The platinum silver steed had flowers braided into its tail and mane, bright daffodils and lilies that contrasted brightly against its pale colouring. Its harness and saddle had a plant motif, the equipment looking like it had been formed with vines. Yet, even more stunning was the woman. Dressed in a smart pink suit with black dress pants, she looked like a handsome fairy sprung to life. Even her coattails looked like flower petals, and a red rose was pinned to her short brown hair.

The only thing out of place was how nervous she looked. Her light brown hands fidgeted with the harness, adjusting and readjusting as she waited her turn.

Rika should say something. She should do something.

Noticing her stare, the woman brightened and waved.

Finally remembering how to move, Rika waved back and forced herself back to work.

-x-

“You mean MC, the new horse rider?” Jihyun chuckled as he fiddled with his camera, playing with the settings as he looked through today’s pictures. “You’ve seen her practice before.”

Rika moved her chair closer to him. Her trailer was small, just barely big enough to fit both a bedroom and a business room. At this point, though, the management side of things had taken over most of the surfaces, with binders upon binders of research, budgets, and other minutia claiming any open area. It was easier to just meet Jihyun here after each day’s work as they discussed their future promotional material. Most of the information they needed was in the trailer after all.

And, at this point, enough of his things were mixed up with hers that they might as well be sharing both trailers anyways.

“I know. I must have approved her act too.” Their shoulders bumped as she leaned forward, examining the picture he’d stopped at. In it, Jumin rubbed Elizabeth’s head, the pampered lion leaning into his touch with a content expression. “That’s a good one for the new posters.”

“I thought so too.” Jihyun smiled, pleased. “It’s a good shot.”

“All your shots are good.” Rika squeezed his hand affectionately. If he hadn’t offered to take care of the advertising logistics, she was certain he’d be a world-class photographer. One day, he’d go back to his real position, though she wasn’t sure what she’d do when he did. She could barely manage as it was with him taking part of the workload. “I don’t think I saw her in costume before. Or maybe she wore something different? I don’t know, she just…she just looked very different when she arrived yesterday.”

“I think she updated the costume.” Jihyun glanced at her curiously now, his fingers stilling. “Did something happen?”

Rika flushed, pulling back. “No, nothing,” she blurted. How was she supposed to explain her instant, visceral reaction earlier? If she couldn’t explain it to herself, how could she even find the words to tell him? Smiling weakly, she added, “I just forgot who she was, for a moment.”

“You forgot?” The words had the opposite effect and Jihyun frowned. He set aside the camera, reaching forward to cradle her cheek. His thumb brushed her baggy eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping properly.”

Instinctively, she leaned into his warm touch. “There’s just a lot to do. Once I catch up with my work, I’ll get a good night’s rest.”

His frown grew deeper. “You don’t have to do all that work alone. I’ve finished most of the advertising work, I can take on other tasks.”

It was tempting. Scattered around the room were bills, forms, layouts and other tasks. It wouldn’t hurt to give him just a little bit. Yet, this was her circus, her job. If she couldn’t handle her ringmaster’s duties, then what was she doing here?

And if she wasn’t needed here, then where would she be needed?

“It’s fine,” Rika lied, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I have it under control.”

-x-

Once a week, Rika had to inspect the equipment, making sure everything was up to order. It was a serious task. She took it seriously. She was definitely not using it as an excuse to stand stock still next to the outdoor paddock, watching as MC ran through her acts.

Honestly, what was she doing here? The sun was high in the sky, as sure a sign as any that Rika had to go before she got even further behind in her duties.  Yet, she couldn’t tear her eyes away as MC stood on her horse’s saddle, looking as steady as though she were on land. Today, MC was dressed down, wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. She still looked utterly handsome.

Now that she had time to think about it, Rika had seen her before, only she had been so busy rushing through her duties that she hadn’t paid her any mind. Maybe it was a good thing she hadn’t noticed—it was hard not to stop and watch as MC shifted through her stances. It was like watching a bird in flight, free, graceful, and entirely in its element.

“Oh!” Noticing her, MC almost tipped over.

“Careful!” Rika stepped forward, grasping the fence.

MC righted herself right away. Sliding down onto the saddle, she gently slowed her horse before coming to a stop right in front of Rika. With a laugh, she rubbed her neck sheepishly. “That was a close one.”

“It scared me,” Rika admitted, her heart still pounding from fear.

“Sorry about that, Ms. Kim.” MC ducked her head apologetically before sliding off her horse. She landed on the dirt with a soft thud.

“Rika,” she corrected automatically.

“Oh.” MC’s eyes widened and she swallowed thickly. “Rika, then. You can call me MC.”

There was something about the way her name rolled off MC’s tongue. Rika tried not to think about it. “Your performance was so amazing, I didn’t think you could stumble.”

“Really?” MC smiled brightly, still a bright red. Rika wasn’t sure if it was from adrenaline or embarrassment. Or maybe even something else, entirely. “I actually fall a lot. I’ve never really performed in front of such a big group before. I was afraid I’d do it during the show, but I got lucky.”

“You didn’t look nervous at all,” Rika reassured, surprised by the confession. “I thought you were a natural.”

“I practiced.” MC grinned boyishly. Her short hair ruffled with a stray breeze. “I had a lot of scrapes before I auditioned here.” She rubbed her arm ruefully. “Well, I guess I still have some now. I’ve got a long way to go before I’m a pro.

“That’s the mark of a true performer.” Rika chuckled. Everyone here kept striving for a higher point, a greater success. Even Jumin and Zen, who didn’t have a humble bone in their bodies, still pushed themselves for better performance.

“I’m not good enough to be called that,” MC replied bashfully, looking pleased nonetheless. She delicately clasped Rika’s hand. “If you want, I can show you a new act I’ve been trying.”

A pleasant jolt ran up Rika’s arm and she almost said Yes.

Almost, but the sun was still high, her checklist unfinished, and she had wasted enough time was it was. Reluctantly, she shook her head and stepped back. Her hand dangled limply by her side. “I still have a few errands to complete.”

MC’s expression dimmed slightly before she rubbed her neck sheepishly. “Right, I’m sure you have a lot to do. Maybe next time.”

“Maybe,” Rika echoed, a sense of hollowness filling her.

-x-

Rika stood in the center of the arena, the bright lights falling on her. Above her, she knew Zen was already starting his descent from his high-wire act. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,” she announced, drawing their audience’s eyes to her instead of the shadows as they moved equipment around the stage.

In her bright red tailcoat, she was impossible to miss. “You have seen our performers soar like bird, but have you seen anyone fly like a cannonball?”

A drumroll started, Saeran following her cues faithfully.

A second spotlight shone to her right as the cannon finally stood in place. Yoosung honked brightly as he stood next to it.

As the spotlight widened, encompassing the entire tent, Rika stealthily moved to the side as the clowns took over the floor. Above her, the crowd laughed at their antics, as Yoosung and his friends tried to figure out what the cannon was.

She wished she could share their joy. Instead, she was all too keenly aware of the empty seats above her, the delay in the music, the shift in the background as Vanderwood adjusted the nets for the cannon.

The show had to be better. Tonight would be another sleepless night.

-x-

Seated in the costume tent, Rika picked up a pair of blue sequin pants, admiring how the light hit the small mirrors sewn in. The clothes were in good order, they looked appropriately modern, and so she hung them back on the rack.

Maybe she could put off changing their base theme until next year. By that point, they’d need a wardrobe change anyways.

“Hey, Rika!”

It wasn’t like audiences didn’t like their current fantasy theme anyways.

“Rika!”

That jerked her out of her thoughts, and she snapped her head to her right to find Yoosung standing there, juggling three balls effortlessly. Wearing a pair of baggy overalls and a bright red nose, he looked like he needed a costume upgrade.

“Oh, Yoosung.” Embarrassed, she put back the dress she’d been inspecting. “Is something wrong?”

“Sorta.” There had been a time when he couldn’t even manage that with two balls and she felt proud at his progress. “Not for me, but…well, for you.”

“For me?” Perplexed, she raised a brow.

He stepped back, trying to keep the balls in the air. “It’s just…I was thinking…you could use a break.” A ball slipped out of his grasp, hitting his foot, and he jumped back as the rest fell down after. “Whoops.”

Rika giggled as he quickly picked up and pocketed the ball. Clasping her hands behind her, she teased, “Are you sure you don’t need a break?”

“Not you too. It’s bad enough Saeran can do, like, ten of these.” Yoosung pouted, glaring at her balefully. “He doesn’t even practice. I know he’s just doing this to show off.”

“I don’t think he is?” Rika scratched her cheek. To be honest, it was hard to tell with him sometimes.

“I know he is—wait, that’s not what I’m here for.” Yoosung grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. “Rika, seriously, you need a break.”

Part of her wondered if Jihyun had talked to him. His palm was warm and sweaty but she didn’t pull away. “Yoosung, I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” he argued, stomping a foot in frustration. “You’re doing too much work again. You always do this.”

“I’m not doing too much,” she protested. “Jihyun’s taking care of advertising—”

“And you’re doing everything else again.” Yoosung tightened his grip. “You’re always the first one up, the last one asleep. Every day you’re running from tent to tent. I don’t think anyone’s seen you rest for more than five minutes.”

“That’s…that’s not true,” she denied weakly.

“I can help you, you know? I can do more than clown around.” He looked down at her desperately and she realized with a start that at some point, he’d grown taller than her. “Jaehee said she could handle the daily checks. Everyone wants to help you.”

“I…” Rika bit her lip, staring at their clasped hands, at how his fingers dug into her skin.

“Please,” he pleaded again.

Even his hands had grown bigger and stronger than hers when she hadn’t noticed. Closing her eyes, she nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

-x-

Somehow, she found herself back at the paddock. Rika didn’t know when she’d started to come here when she was worried, but her feet always brought her here when she needed to think.

By this point, MC stopped stumbling when she’d arrived. Instead, she smoothly slipped into her saddle, looking like a horsewoman of old as she and her steed quickly cantered toward Rika. “Good afternoon!”

“Good afternoon,” Rika replied automatically. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Not at all.” MC smiled sunnily. She patted her horse’s flank. “We love it when you come, right, buddy?”

“Me too,” she murmured absentmindedly. “I like coming here too.”

There was something calming about MC’s presence, though for once even she wasn’t enough to stop the thoughts swarming Rika’s mind. There was so much to do. Jihyun wanted to help. But she had to be able to do it herself, it was pointless otherwise. Yoosung and Jaehee had offered their aid. But if she couldn’t do it on her own, why was she even here?

Her mind ran in circles, jumping back and forth between thoughts. The others had their own jobs. This was all she had: her position as ringmaster, her tasks as the manager. If she lost them, what else would she have?

“I was actually just thinking—Zen mentioned that we could try a double act, and I might not be as flexible as him but—” MC cut herself off. Gripping the fence, she leaned closer, peering up at Rika. “Are you okay?”

Rika flushed and stepped back, startled. “I-I’m fine.”

MC frowned, not buying it for an instant. “You’re not.”

“I am,” she repeated, insistent. “Really, I am.”

Crossing her arms, MC regarded her doubtfully for a moment. An unreadable emotion flickered across her face and she nodded. “Fine.”

“That—”

Before Rika could say anything further, MC opened the paddock and grabbed Rika’s wrist, pulling her in. “Then you have time to go for a ride with me today.”

“What?” Rika balked, but MC was stronger than she looked. “I can’t, I really don’t—”

“Have the time?” MC finished, shaking her head. Her hand was warm on Rika’s skin, her face too close. “It’s only for a few minutes. Think of it as a break.”

Rika faltered. “That’s not…”

Sensing weakness, MC pressed, “Then think of it as helping me with my show.”

“I…I can’t ride,” she argued weakly, unable to pull away, unable to do anything but follow as MC guided her to her horse.

MC chuckled. “That’s fine, I can. You don’t have to do everything, right? That’s why we’re all here.”

Part of Rika wondered how much MC knew, if Jihyun and Yoosung had come to her. The rest of her didn’t care as MC’s hands were on her waist, guiding her up onto the saddle, or as MC slipped on behind her, her arms caging Rika in place.

MC leaned forward, her breath hot on Rika’s ear. “Don’t worry, it’ll just be a normal ride.”

And without further warning, the horse sprang forward and they were off. Rika gasped as they picked up speed, moving from a trot to a canter to an all out run. The wind whistled as they rode, her body bumping on the uneven ground.

“Easy does it,” MC murmured, and Rika wasn’t sure if she was talking to her or the horse.

It didn’t matter. They rounded the edge of the paddock, turning swiftly. Rika had ridden Zen’s motorcycle once and there was a similar feel of flying, of freedom. A thrill ran up her spine as they charged across the dirt.

The sensation refused to leave long after she slipped off the horse into MC’s waiting arms, their heads almost bumping into each other at the clumsy dismount. Rika laughed and MC grinned. “It’s fun, right?”

“Yeah.” Rika pulled back reluctantly, brushing her messy hair back behind her ears. “A lot of fun.”

“Good, I’m glad you liked it.” MC reached up, pushing a stray lock out of Rika’s face. “You look better now.”

If her face felt hot, Rika blamed it on the ride.

-x-

Rika stared at the paperwork in her room. There were bills to pay, forms to fill out, material to approve. She had to pick a new theme for their next season and the lineup to match. It was something she used to look forward to.

Now, it was just another chore. She had forgotten how fun working at the circus could be, how fun it was supposed to be.

She could still feel the wind in her ears, MC’s arm around her waist.

That didn’t mean this couldn’t be fun again.

-x-

Rika knocked on a familiar trailer. There was a time when she used to go to Jihyun nightly, when she all but lived in his trailer. It had been too long since she’d visited him. Since she’d made the time for something other than work.

A disheveled Jihyun opened the door, his expression confused as he took her in. “Rika,” he breathed, her name several questions in one.

Rika smiled softly. “Jihyun, could you help me?”

His expressions softened immediately, and he stepped back. “Of course.”