#and maybe Logan and Remus but mostly Roman

[halfgood-halfbad-badboy]

Yknow how some autistic people dont get along because their autism manifests in slightly different ways

That’s Logan and Roman

[not-your-average-highschool-au]

✨Dynamics✨

Okay so👏 Character dynamics at the “start/beginning” of the au:

Patton, Logan, and Roman are a tiny best friend group. They don’t really have many friends outside of this group since Roman finds it hard to mesh well with people, Patton finds it hard to even talk to new people, and not many people appreciate Logan and his fandom talks. So they don’t have too many friends outside the group but they don’t mind.

Remus and Janus are super close. They’re the best of friends and constantly are spending time together, only not being seen together when they’re off doing their respective school activities (ex: Janus’s practices, Remus’s academic activities, etc). Aside from that, they’re basically attached at the hip.

Virgil is apart of a completely separate friend group and is kinda detached from everyone at first. Since he’s super popular, he’s got a huge friend group and they’re who he mostly hangs out with. However, he knows of the other sides and they know of him.

In terms of groups crossing paths with each other (idk how else to word it lol); Patton, Logan, and Roman do end up hanging out with Janus and Remus since… you know, Roman and Remus are brothers. Since Janus and Remus are older though, they kinda lovingly make fun of/tease the group. They don’t think badly of them but they still tease them a bit. Logan and Patton don’t really mind but it really can get under Roman’s skin for sure.

With Virgil, Janus and Remus respect him due to how popular he is and they do sometimes hang out when the opportunity arises. As for Patton, Roman, and Logan, the dynamic with Virgil is a tad different for each pair individually.

With Virgil and Patton, they both had a mutual respect for each other. Patton admires how kind Virgil is to him and others while Virgil thinks that Patton is super cool (he’s a huge fan of Patton’s aesthetic). Currently working on a drawing to show off a bit of this dynamic so keep an eye on for that haha

With Virgil and Roman, Virgil thinks Roman’s pretty cool but Roman can’t really stand Virgil. Roman doesn’t hate him exactly but he is a little annoyed whenever he shows up. Roman can’t really explain why he has this kinda distain towards Virgil. Maybe it’s cause deep down, Roman’s a bit jealous of how popular Virgil is; idk👀

With Virgil and Logan, there’s also a kinda mutual respect. It’s not in the same way as Patton and Virgil though; it’s a bit more of a muted and chill respect, if that makes sense. Logan thinks that Virgil’s generally pretty cool and has more of a neutral, positive leaning feeling towards him. Virgil feels a similar way towards Logan; he admires how open he is about his interests but he doesn’t really admire it as much as he admires Patton.

Anyways, I think that’s everyone!! Thanks for reading!

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

feel free to discard if this doesn't strike your fancy:

what would an AU of ping verse where LMP start out as villains and ADR start out as heroes look like? how would things have to change in order to make that happen, and would it still end the same way?

just spitballing but i think theres some angles i could take here

Logan is easiest - his first instinct is always to shut off and stoicly handle everything himself, but if he'd had even one moment of weakness long enough to tell Rémy what Hammond had done 1. Hammond would have been blackmailed into the underworld and 2. Sandman would have acquired a shiny new star powered partner

Virgil is next easiest to switch, if his parents had paid even a marginal amount of attention to him after dropping him off with the Peacekeepers, and especially if they'd permitted him to talk to zoe, he definitely would have gone the route of "if im just Completely Perfect All The Time they will Love Me." in this scenario i assure you Zoe is constantly talking shit about the peacekeepers to his face and he's stubbornly sticking his fingers in his ears

The think about Janus is that "society is terrible, let me fix it" is that it can be very easy to fall into the trap of "people are terrible, let me fix them." it wouldnt have taken much more than one decently-nice handler to radicalize janus in the direction of authoritarianism instead of the other direction

the other three i have more trouble seeing flipped - Roman maybe, if upon being thrust into actual keeping/combat and being harshly confronted with the reality of the violence he was inflicting on other anomalous people knocked his head a bit

Patton's hard mostly because i cant see him doing anything other than what he did - maybe if Morgan had lived, and he'd come to resent the peacekeepers enough, but its also hard to see what his angle would be as a supervillain

and by far the least likely switch i could see is remus. i cant think of anything the peacekeepers could have done to engender loyalty from him to be honest, and he's got far too much of a chip on his shoulder to go along with them anyway like patton and logan

[vampypurplequ33n]

I just imagined the Sides playing Stardew Valley, and I have no regrets for what I say.

————————————

Here’s what I think each of them would do:

Logan would probably be playing the game either like a speed run, or just think of profit. He would avoid the dateable NPCs like the plague and barely grow relationships with anyone. He would be only thinking about the tasks and nothing more. Oh, he’s also definitely finish the community center the quickest out of the other sides. He also has the most organized farm, and he’d only go to the festivals where he knows he can get something out of it, like the strawberry seeds from the egg hunt festival. He also would either sleep too early, or pass out at 2:00 AM. No in between.

Patton would be friends with everyone, have full hearts with them all, and would either marry Harvey or Elliott, mostly cus they fit his type. (Cough cough Janus/Logan) The kids would love him, he’d be full hearts with all the animals in the pen, and it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to not see him without the golden retriever dog. Or the white cat because this is the only game where he can have a car and not be allergic to them. Also, he would avoid the mines like a plague and do all the help wanted requests even if he didn’t have the items right away. I can also see him having a not too organized farm, where 90% of that farm will be saved for animals or be a hot mess, and the 10% just having farmland that’s decently neat after Logan taught him what it could look like for maximum efficiency.

Roman would DEFINITELY have 6 saves with each of the dateable men married on each one. His farm would be AESTHETIC AS HELL with either a shed or a cabin decorated like crazy. He would be in the skull caverns or mines just killing monsters, and he’d be besties with all the female NPCs. He’d be gravitated towards Elliott or Sebastian, and probably join the save with Shane less but would still go because he’d be like “I can FIX HIM!!” Even tho after marriage he goes RIGHT BACK TO SQUARE ONE WITH THIS MAN. After all of that, he’d probably finish the community center after like… maybe year 3 or 4?? And I’m being generous here.

Virgil would choose the Spooky farm, and would ONLY start actively socializing in fall. Only because of the Halloween season. He would avoid all of the NPCs like the plague, and barely want to go to Pierre’s because of social interaction to buy seeds. He’d probably be friends with Abigail and Sebastian, and would definitely develop a crush on either Sam or Alex after maybe year 2- He would also be SUPER anxious about the tasks, sometimes to the point he’d never do them. He’d only go outside to either be in the mines, or on a rainy day. He may also call Elliott a knock off version of Roman, and definitely would say Harvey is Logan. And he would choose any of the cats, but definitely the black one.

Janus would probably say he wouldn’t bother, but would secretly play it for hours after everyone’s gone asleep. His farm would be a mix of Roman’s and Logan’s, with it leaning more towards the Logan side. He would probably call very NPC a knockoff of each of the sides, saying Linus is the closest to Remus but would more so compare him to any hostile mob instead like a slime. He would probably marry either Elliott or Alex, and would probably try to divorce them soon after marriage. He DEFINITELY would cheat his way through occasionally, only to get a loved gift by an NPC, or would get himself extra buffs if he was too lazy. Shit, he’d probably start with the cheats just cus he’d say something like “The start of the game is too slow” or something like that.

Remus…. Oh boy. He would use cheats but use it to get bombs, and explode everything. He also would drink mayo infront of all the NPCs, and gift each of them trash cus he can. He would dig in the trash every single day, and would chop down all the trees. He’d constantly pass out at 2:00 AM, pretty sure he’d be at the Saloon 60% of the time, and would probably romance Sebastian and would make Elliott hate him cus yknow.. he reminds him of Roman.

Y’all can pick the farms they’d most likely pick, but I know Logan would choose the standard farm, Patton would choose the group farm so he could play with the other sides, Roman would maybe choose the meadowlands for the aesthetic, Virgil would choose the Spooky farm, as well as Remus, and Janus would prolly pick the hilltop or forest farm just to say he can be away from everyone.

[fandombead]

Sanders Sides human AU where they’re all camp counselors at some backwoods Alphabet soup upstate summer camp—

Camp Sandside

Also locally known as Camp Mindscape

C!Thomas is the newest camp director trying to keep the camp funded and running every year. He advertises and keeps in touch with people who help everything work out each year.

Logan is head of schedule and morning role call. He makes sure camp has an educational side to it, so they have something to take away. He enjoys accompanying on the nature hikes and takes their slightly older campers stargazing. You can find him usually hanging out in the camp archives and he can answer any question about its history.

He coordinates camper activities with Patton, who is the poster child for Campy Dad-Counselor™️. Patton knows every campfire song ever how to make 477 different crafts from sticks and rocks you can find in the forest. He is good at wrangling the kids and making any activity fun so everyone gets included. He’s excited to be there every day. He’s been there the longest and has dappled in every other job as needed.

Remus runs all the sport activities and Roman throws together a little theater group production for the parents at the end of the summer. Both twins help each other out for those activities depending on whose day it is. They also keep up the Canteen and craft workshop. They tell the best campfire stories. (Fun fact: they went to this camp as kids and are working here now during college)

Virgil’s shadowing Patton with first aid as a trainee nurse and handles safety protocols/checks. He’s just stressed out trying to keep everyone alive till the end of the summer. He particularly sticks around at the sport fields, lake, and obstacle course. He barely sleeps and runs on caffeine and spite. He enjoys playing guitar for the kids at campfire time. He makes sure everyone wears sunscreen, is drinking enough water, and that no one wanders off from the group.

And not least of all, Janus, who is the mental health counselor and resolves incident cases between campers. He also is someone the other camp counselors can confide in because the job is draining. He makes sure everyone is taking care of themselves and not doing too much, short-staffed as they are. Camp has run much more smoothly since they added him to their team and everyone is happier for it after getting used to the changes.

They all really enjoy the work and each other. What started as an interesting, versatile summer job that let them hangout together turned into a fun tradition they were quite invested in. Every summer is a memorable one and they look forward to it every year.

I just think it’d be a fun story setting, a series of glimpses at camp life with chapters dedicated to silly or fun happenings at the camp. For some reason all that are coming to me is chapters that sound like history event logs and just imagine it’s because the twins hijacked Logan’s documentation of them and rewrote them with more flair and drama. The Hiking Disaster of 21’. Battle at…Vine Lake (okay maybe not the name but I WILL work Vine in somewhere—maybe that’s the name of the theatre). The Kayak Wars. Surviving the Storm. Bear-ly Active.

(Actually half the chapters will be puns and you’ll know Patton had a hand at assisting the twins’ shenanigans for those retellings~)

Depending on the number of campers, they might also each be head of a cabin and in charge of 3-5 campers specifically on top of everything else that they manage to make good connections with even the most unlikely campers by the end of the summer. (I mostly thought of this just because I wanted an excuse for Logan to be head of the ‘Crofters Cabin’ bwahahaha)

I want Campy adventures!!!

Side notes expanding on the AU bc I have tons of scattered ideas:

I also had the alternative (/prequel? With a few tweaks) idea where some or all of them are campers instead and they meet at the summer camp years before they decide to work there~ ^^

I think that’d be a great story too, where they become lifelong friends in the end and grow to be glad they got sent to this weird old camp for the summer and just have a great time after getting through a few challenges. And they go back every year to see each other again.

Patton calls the campers “saplings” and other nature/tree related nicknames

Their camp shirts have a white star border in black incorporated on the front with the Camp Acronym and everyone styles theirs differently (example: Remus cut the short sleeves off of his)

I imagine they have a rival camp too that every one of them is personally invested in beating yearly, as you do in Camp media. (Alt version where it’s “light” vs “dark” sides camps)

Logan got stuck up a tree once as a kid camper and they still haven’t let him live it down. There’s a photo of it in the archives he keeps trying to get rid of but someone keeps replacing it every year. They call him Pinecone and Lookout 🤣 (Forest Watch)

Janus was someone they never expected to see again. He came to camp in their last years of being campers and joined the group through Remus and Patton. After some getting used to him (Roman and Virgil kept butting heads with him), they were tentatively friends…Roman saved him when he fell in the lake and Janus came in clutch and saved their team at the camp games! they kinda took one step back when he joined as counselor, but they worked it out eventually for good that time~

The twins have a fun rivalry they try to drag their friends into every year…even as counselors now 😂 there’s always some sort of competition going on with them, especially when they start being heads of their own cabins and take pride in their little campers destroying the other teams (but especially each others’)

I think each cabin has a little flag the campers remake every year hanging out front, featuring the animal trait and color of each counselor in charge. Tentative Ideas:

Logan’s Cabin: Team Crofter (of Discovery Cabin). Campers have dark blue bandannas/necklaces

Patton’s Cabin: Team Friendship (of Amity/Compassion Cabin). Campers have light blue bandannas/bracelets

Roman’s Cabin: Team Braveheart (of Ambition Cabin). Campers have red bandannas/necklaces

Remus’s Cabin: Team Chaos (of Endeavor/Spontaneity Cabin). Campers have green bandannas/bracelets

Virgil’s Cabin: Team Storm (of Vigilance Cabin). Campers have purple bandannas/necklaces

Janus’s Cabin: Team Serpent (of Accord/Cunning Cabin). Campers have yellow bandannas/bracelets

They collabed on these name ideas themselves~ The twins’ cabins also relate to one another.

Roman’s theme is having goals and dreams and Remus’s theme is trying ways to reach them, not giving up when it doesn’t work the first time. Together they encourage campers to find something they wanna try that’s new and going for it~

You can probably pair Virgil and Logan’s cabins + Janus and Patton’s in a similar way of their themes relating or balancing each other.

Every year you return to camp, you get a charm to add to your bracelet/necklace (typically all moved to whatever cabin color you are for the current year’s summer). Represents the overall theme of that summer, received at the end.

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

NO NO NO do not let the Spooky Gays kiss!

I mean—absolutely, 100% let them kiss, but NOT LIKE AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY DID

I do NOT need a Dukexiety version of the Ineffable Divorce SPARE ME FROM THIS PLEASE

however.

if Virgil is Aziraphale would Heaven be the "Light" Sides? Roman as Michael, Logan as Gabriel, and… I guess maybe unsympathetic!Patton as the Metatron? (😭nooo) (someone has to be the Metatron though and also manipulative Patton working "for the greater good" go brrr)

and then I guess Janus as Beelzebub… this is not my greatest casting job ever. like, it works fine, but.

hang on I’m redoing it.

FROM THE TOP!

Aziraphale—Patton (they’re both just doing their best and fucking it up a little bit in ways that will irreversibly affect the plot. also repression twins)

Crowley—Janus (snake theme on point)(oh hey look it’s tragic moceit)

Beelzebub—Remus (slimy)(oh he’d be so funny as Eric though??? kill him over and over and it’s unclear how many of him will keep coming back. pathetic and has eyeliner.)

Gabriel—Virgil (for the purposes of the ship, though Logan would also work pretty well as Gabriel)

Michael—Roman (idk why exactly but this would work)

The Metatron—Dragon Witch or Orange or someone who barely exists as a character, so we can still safely dislike The Metatron

Muriel—Logan in a happier timeline. he would also slay as Anathema but the Good Omens fandom is mostly focused on S2 right now.

Honorary mentions!

Nina—Remy (coffee and toxic relationships)

Maggie—Emile (adsfbjcfygl imagine him having a little shop that’s essentially a Blockbuster instead of a record store. (ignore that I don’t really know what a Blockbuster is. he sells cartoons, is the point.) imagine. him with a cartoon shop and a pathetic crush on Remy.)

Thomas—nonexistent. fuck that guy /j it’s not his fault I don’t know how to cast or write him. he’s great. unless anyone really wants to explain Thomas Sanders discourse to me, I will continue to assume he’s just a human being doing his best. he can be the barkeep in Edinburgh or something if he really wants to be. one of the other angels. part of the Shopkeeper’s Association with his friends. who knows.

In summary, don’t make them be Aziraphale and Crowley. but they would be SO GOOD as Aziraphale and Crowley. paralleling Ineffable Divorce with Accepting Anxiety. Aziraphale leaving Crowley for the greater good vs Virgil leaving Remus for (what I assume to be) mainly his personal good. Crowley/Remus = stupid gay sort-of-evil disasters. Virgil would also be good as Crowley but I would be terminally impressed by any fic author that managed to make Remus as Aziraphale make sense.

-🐢

To be fair Ineffable Husbands are A L O T more Moceit coded than Dukexiety but it makes for a fun dynamic for the Spooky Beloveds like the example you gave XD But I absolutely A D O R E that casting I've seen Ineffable Husbands as Moceit but I've never seen those for the others before!!! (Also making The Dragon Witch or Orange The Metatron is so R E A L)

[rosepetalgold]

Not to add angst to a delightfully fluffy little episode but I'm thinking about how the pairings in TSNAND illustrate the current (not good!) state of things in the mindscape and the rampant tension between all the sides. Because really, despite all the possible duos, I think the pairings we got were the only pairings that were feasible so that all six of them got to have an enjoyable day.

Janus and Remus are probably the easiest two to pair off because of the general animosity between them and the others—Virgil clearly doesn't get along with either of them, Roman might maybe tolerate Remus but probably wouldn't have a good time and would definitely rather dropkick Janus out of a window than try to spend a nice day with him, and Logan is presumably still upset at both Janus for yanking him out of POF and Remus for interfering with Thomas' schedule in WTIT. I could see Patton actually getting along mostly fine with Janus, but that would leave Remus without a buddy.

So Remus and Janus it is, which leaves us with the light sides.

And these four bring with them their own set of problems. Roman, for example, could be paired up with Patton, Logan, or Virgil and theoretically any of them should be fine because they're the light sides! They're famILY! They all (mostly) get along! But there's still major unresolved issues between him and Patton from the whole POF debacle, so that leaves Logan and Virgil as potential partners in crime for a fun day. He and Logan would likely have a nice time together considering there's not really any drama between the two at the moment, but that would result in Virgil and Patton being paired up with one another, and from the endcard of WTIT there also seems to be unresolved tension between those two, at least from Virgil's side.

Which just leaves Roman to be paired up with Virgil and Patton with Logan, which obviously is exactly how things worked out in TSNAND.

But my point is that there shouldn't have to be mental gymnastics to figure out how to pair everyone up so that they can all have a nice day; they don't all have to be best friends by any means, but ideally they should all at least get along well enough that randomly mixing and matching everyone would still result in each of them having a good time doing their little activities. That there seems to be One Way and One Way Only to currently pair them up without any major issues speaks volumes about the bigger problems lurking underneath the surface, the sheer amount of tension between all of them, and the untenable strain their relationships with each other are under.

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

weird question, but- if you were to do a series of unfortunate events au with sanders sides, how would you place characters into different roles? i was just curious since you mentioned in the jantigone annotations that you read lemony snicket (LOVED lemony snicket, childhood memories right there lol) and i was suddenly struck with a stark vision of snicket!janus narrating the ordeals of his dead ex-lover thomas's children and i wanted to know what ideas you might have ^^

What a brilliant question. If I ever wrote an ASOUE crossover, it would mostly likely be canonverse, because that’s the way my brain likes to go with these sort of things! I think c!Thomas would be quite awful at looking after a trio of orphaned children, and possibly even worse at seeing through a Count Olaf disguise, and I think even more fun would be had with setting the whole thing partly at a local theatre. Obviously playing a bit fast and loose with the way the Sides can interact with real people, but don’t I always?

Most things I write, and especially crossovers/fusions, are challenges to myself; i.e., me asking myself, can I write this certain strange thing and make it make sense? And in the case of a lot of the crossovers, the challenge and the fun is taking two different canons, often with different styles and sense of humor, and fusing them together smoothly. And in this case, the most fun bit about a ASOUE/TSS crossover for me would be performing that reconciliation of tone and style smoothly - and I think I could manage that best with canonverse. (If you've ever wondered why I write so many canon fusions, here's your answer.)

BUT if I were to take a route closer to the one you’re probably suggesting here, Janus as the Lemony narrator would indeed be very fun… but I think I’d probably actually lean more to LOGAN as the narrator character, and have Janus be an active VFD member (with the disguises and such). Not sure who is cast as the kids, I swore I’d never write another kidfic after the Matilda AU but I’m bad at keeping promises. I think maybe Remus and Roman as a twin duo would be funky, and if I’m doing that I might genuinely leave it as just the two of them, with the other Sides coming in and out of the narrative as required.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t find straight-up role-replacement AUs terribly interesting to write for the most part; it’s much more fun to try to work out where the canon characters would fit into the universe as they are without trying to fit them into preordained boxes. In this case, I figure Virgil, Patton, Janus, and Thomas (maybe Emile too, why not?) would be Potential Guardians for the twins in this case, all with their own specific problems and Snicketesque Situations to deal with. No idea who the Olaf character would be. The Dragon Witch is always a good standby, I guess? Or maybe Remy? If I wrote this properly I'd put tons of thought into it, this is just me throwing things at the wall.

...That being said, fuckin LOVE Thomas as Janus's Beatrice. If anyone less inclined to weird esoteric crossover stuff than I am ever writes that, please let me know, I'd eat it all the way up.

[hahanamegobrrrr]

If all the Sanders Sides characters were switches, what percentage of Ler/Lee would you hc them as? (Bonus points if you include Picani and Sleep)

ooooo yessss

I feel like Logan would be pretty 50/50, it would really depend on the day or what other people wanted. I think he might not have very many ler/lee moods just unprompted? but if someone asked him to tickle them or asked if they could tickle him, he'd be happy with whatever. if that makes sense?? LOL

Virgil is like 70% Lee and 30% ler. any given tickle mood is likely to be a lee one, but sometimes something will prompt the biggest ler mood ever and no one will be safe WHAHHDA

Roman is also pretty 50/50, I feel like. but he's way more likely to act on his ler moods than his lee ones. he would be really embarrassed about being lee, no matter how many times the others tell him there's no real reason to be

Patton is a super silly ler. maybe 90% ler and 10% lee? his ler moods are often and he acts on them LOL. but if he does have a lee mood he is also not embarrassed at all to find someone willing to help.

Janus would be like, 60% ler and 40% lee. I think he'd be similar to Logan in that he'd be pretty influenced by basically just whatever someone else wanted, but he would also get his own unprompted moods sometimes, and he would have slightly more ler moods than lee.

I don't know if Remus would have lee and ler moods the same way that everyone else would LOL. he would just be out to cause as much chaos as possible, and sometimes that would be by tickling everyone silly. or sometimes he would walk into a room with multiple people in a ler mood and just offer himself, watch as people fight over who gets to tickle him until they realize that they all can LOL. he'd also probably be 50/50 I think.

Picani would be mostly lee, maybe 80% lee 20% ler. he would be so very silly.

Sleep would be a super sassy ler LOL probably like 90% ler, but also sometimes wouldn't mind if someone was to take him down a peg by methods of a tickly persuasion

I think I've recognized a pattern of a lot of true 50/50 characters

sorry I didn't have as much to say on picani and sleep, I don't know their characters quite as well LOL

[delimeful]

in sickness and in health (6)

warnings: remus-typical gore/nsfw mentions, injury mention, captivity, panic, logan mad scientist moments: mini edition, cliffhanger

-

The situation had spiraled out of control faster than Virgil’s self esteem mid-mental breakdown.

His mind kept replaying the last few moments, trying to find the choice that would have saved him. There were a hundred obvious answers, and ones that had been obvious even before he’d landed himself in his own worst case scenario.

He should have realized something was wrong with the stranger’s act before they’d gotten to the point of trying to stab each other. He should have been less harsh with the tackle, going by the wince-worthy crack of skull against marble. Most of all, he should have just cut his losses and ran the moment he’d realized the other borrower wasn’t even listening, but—

“You don’t get to take anything else from me,” he’d said, squinting against the light, each movement more stumble than step.

The guy was trying to protect Patton and his friends. He’d clearly had a run in with the Monoxide group before, had lost people to them before, and he’d still decided to confront Virgil.

Murder attempt or not, he couldn’t just leave the stranger there to get caught.

Now that he was squarely in the palm of a hand big enough to crush him in one motion, he was admittedly having some regrets.

“Woah there, Goth Thumbelina, no need to panic,” said Remus, hurriedly moving his other hand close to form a wall as Virgil attempted to duck away from the fingers curling over him. “A guy as small as you does not want to fall from this height, trust me. We’d turn the kitchen into a total splatter zone.”

And here Virgil had thought his heart couldn’t beat any faster. Life was always surprising him in the worst ways possible.

“Hello? Can you hear me, little guy?” Remus asked, lifting his hands to face level in a motion quick enough to shake what little balance Virgil had left. “You’re not dying of shock, are you? If I accidentally murder a fairy in Patty’s house, I’m pretty sure I’ll legally have to commit some kind of elaborate ritual suicide to atone.”

Well. His parents would probably be happy to know that he’d taken one last human down with him, at least.

Virgil drew all his limbs in until he felt more pillbug than person, his mind too full of mindless panicked shrieking for anything resembling a plan to form.

He couldn’t get away. He couldn’t fight the human off. He couldn’t even say anything, not unless he wanted to make this even worse for every other borrower in the world.

In the end, for all their malice and arrogance, a borrower from the Monoxide group was the same as any other borrower. There still wasn’t a single technique that would save them when they were in the clutches of a human.

All he could do was wait and see what the human decided to do with him.

… At the moment, Remus mostly seemed to be intent on poking him, over and over.

“Hey, c’mon, don’t kill us both in the world’s bizarrest murder-suicide! I haven’t even gotten to third base with a ghost yet!” The finger prodded lightly at the curve of his back again. “If we both die here, we’ll have to haunt this house together. Is that what you want? Because I will inevitably make it weird.”

Do not bite the human, Virgil reminded himself. Do not bite the human. That is a one-way ticket to getting thrown against a wall. Do not bite the human—

“Wow, you are way more polite than most of the small creatures I’ve held,” Remus noted enthusiastically. “On a completely unrelated note, are you venomous?”

Maybe one bite would be fine.

“Remus, if you’re cavorting with rodents in Pat’s kitchen, I swear—,” an annoyed grumble came from the entryway.

“Au contraire, less fair brother of mine,” Remus replied as he spun around to face his twin, “Any true rodent would have given me rabies twice over by now.”

Roman, who had a blanket cape draped over his shoulders and a cranky expression draped over his face, didn’t even glance down at Remus’s cupped hands. “Well, unless you’ve found a mouse-sized poltergeist, my beauty sleep—,”

“Huh.” Remus tilted his head, as though considering Virgil from a new angle. “Actually… maybe this is Patty’s mystery polterguest! Come look!”

He beckoned his twin over with a jerk of the head, and Roman’s suspicion deepened immediately. “Remus. If you are about to throw a cockroach at me, the repercussions will be severe and without mercy.”

“Heh,” Remus looked as if he was indulging in a fond memory. “Nah, I don’t want to ruin my intact-window streak by making you scream like an opera singer in a saw trap.”

Roman edged closer, eyes narrowed. “I still don’t see what kind of ghost would be that small—,”

“Tsk, tsk! Don’t judge a home invader by their size, RoBro!”

Virgil barely bit back a yelp as the human promptly stuck his cupped hands out, nearly knocking his kneeling form right back over. He ducked his head slightly, as though he could somehow prevent them from seeing what he was when he was literally being displayed at that very moment.

Roman’s eyes went wide as quarters as he peered down at him. “Holy Heracles. Is that a fairy?! Patton really is a Disney Princess!”

“That’s what I thought, too, but check it,” Remus nudged Virgil onto his side, revealing his back more clearly. “No wings, or even wing stumps. Plus, they live in the walls.”

Great, he’d noticed that. Still halfway to a panic attack, Virgil spared a pitying thought for all of borrowerkind.

“I feel like there was a Barbie movie that addressed the validity of wingless fairies,” Roman mused, before pausing to frown. “What do you mean, the walls? Tell me you didn’t try eating drywall again. This is not our house.”

“Nobody ever wants to try my fun sleepover activities,” Remus pouted, before rolling his eyes at Roman’s glare. “Don’t get your crown-patterned boxers in a twist, I caught them pre-wall entry.”

“‘Caught them’?” Roman echoed, glancing back down at Virgil, whose body had decided to start trembling hard enough to hopefully vibrate him right out of existence. “Oh my god, you traumatized the fairy. We are so gonna get cursed.”

“Awesome!” cheered Remus. “I hope it’s something with boils.”

“I am not re-enacting the Princess and the Frog as the more amphibious role!” Roman snapped, and lunged forward as though planning to snatch Virgil right out of Remus’s grasp.

Virgil had managed to keep his screaming internal thus far, but the strangled noise of terror that escaped him at the motion was entirely involuntary. Luckily, it was also probably high-pitched enough to bypass human hearing entirely.

“Woah!” Remus recoiled sharply, his hands cupping together to completely surround Virgil, like a child holding a firefly. “Do you even know how breakable itty-bitty creatures are? If I wanted to play tug of war with someone’s guts, I’d kidnap a politician!”

“If I shouldn’t be trusted with delicate creatures, you definitely shouldn’t be,” Roman shot back, though going by the distance of his muffled voice, he’d aborted his grabbing attempts. “Just put them down, they can’t even fly!”

The two of them exchanged some petulant, mostly-indistinct muttering, and then Remus shuffled to the side before placing his clasped hands down on something solid and slowly shifting them out from underneath Virgil.

Rather than fight the motion, Virgil pulled himself upright and let tension coil in every muscle, prepared to take off the instant he felt stable countertop under his feet again.

Sure, running hadn’t worked out for him the first time, but the first time, he’d been dragging the majority of a concussed stranger’s weight along with him. Seeing as Remus had barely caught him even with that handicap, he was more than willing to give fleeing for his life another shot.

His weight dropped onto a surface that was distinctly smoother and slicker than a kitchen counter, and his heart dropped along with it.

Sure enough, when Remus’s hands pulled back, he found himself standing at the bottom of a glass lemonade pitcher, no closer to escape than he’d been when a human hand had been the only thing between him and a fatal fall.

The twins were looming close enough to make his heart stutter, but they were also currently too preoccupied bickering with each other to pay their captive too much attention. Virgil backed up until his shoulders met glass, and slowly slid down into a sitting position, tucking his knees up against his chest.

He was never getting out of this.

–

“Janus,” Logan started, from where he was peering out the wallpaper doorway. “Haven’t we always agreed that we wouldn’t wish our humans on our worst enemy?”

“I don’t recall agreeing to that,” Janus countered halfheartedly, squinting past his near-blinding headache to follow Logan’s gaze. “Really, if you think about it, our worst enemies deserve to be faced with our least merciful weapons.”

In the kitchen, Remus cheerfully put his brother in a vicious headlock.

Also in the kitchen, the borrower Janus had totally and utterly screwed over flinched and flattened themself further against their glass prison.

Logan hummed in a way that did not make Janus feel like he was winning the argument. “And is this solitary borrower our worst enemy?”

“They could be,” Janus replied, indulging in as much of a sulk as his dignity would allow. “They have the mark, they knew what I was talking about. This could all be part of a long con.”

“A long con,” Logan echoed, “to get captured by humans.”

Humans that could have easily caught Janus instead, he pointedly didn’t say.

Janus felt the phantom pressure of a pair of hands shoving him to safety at the last moment, and nausea bubbled up in his throat. He felt fairly certain that it was only partially because of the alleged concussion Logan insisted he absolutely did have. “Anything’s possible.”

Logan turned from the nightmare scene in the kitchen to give Janus the look that comment deserved. “There were no passages to window box gardens or stores of harvested poisons in their home. All of the equipment I found was intended for borrowing, not assassination. There’s only signs of a single borrower residing here, when Monoxide members favor traveling in pairs or trios.”

Janus hissed under his breath. “We can’t just dismiss the possibility that they’re an outlier. A really strange, ineffective, idiotic outlier.”

“Perhaps, but looking at the current evidence offers us a far more plausible conclusion,” Logan said, and then paused, taking in Janus’s grim, hunched-over posture. “... Of course, we can’t truly confirm any theories without investigating our suspect further.”

“Our humans seem entirely too willing to interrogate them for us,” Janus replied bitterly.

Logan turned away from the doorway, dragging his oversized pack in front of him and rummaging through one of the side pockets. “In my experience, our humans have also been very susceptible to distraction.”

Janus perked up, recognizing something familiar in Logan’s tone. That was the tone that preceded a scheme risky enough to make typical borrowers faint just thinking about it.

“Of course,” Logan continued, pulling what looked like miniature explosive prototypes out of his bag, “a distraction loud and flashy enough to divert the twins would only worsen your concussion. I, however, am not concussed.” He paused to give one of the prototypes a dubious glance. “Yet.”

Janus leaned forward to try and inspect one of the devices, and received an armful of coiled thread and a meaningful look from Logan instead.

“Oh, sure,” he complained. “Leave the guy with the head injury with the job of convincing the stranger he tried to stab to participate in the rescue attempt, that makes perfect sense.”

“I have utmost faith in your persuasive abilities,” Logan said in that deadpan way that always made Janus doubt his claim to not understand sarcasm. “Be ready to move as soon as the twins are lured away; I haven't tested the new formula and I’m not sure how long they’ll burn.”

With that extremely concerning statement, the borrower tucked a pair of matches under his armpit, turned, and vanished around the nearest corner.

Janus pulled the thick loop of thread over one shoulder, crouched by the kitchen entrance, and waited.

To Logan’s credit, he worked fast. A series of crackling pops went off, distant but distinct, and their humans only exchanged the briefest of glances before haring off in an unspoken competition to get to the mysterious noises first. Truly, they were predictable in the most amusing ways.

Running had proven to be highly disorienting, so Janus speed walked across the counter to where the borrower’s prison sat. Undignified, but effective.

It hardly mattered; the stranger had crossed the width of the pitcher to peer after the twins and thus was facing the entirely wrong direction to notice Janus’s approach.

They did notice the weighted end of the thread clunk onto the glass behind them, going by how high they jumped and their vehement, half-wheezed swear. They glanced between him and the rope several times in bewilderment.

Janus waggled his fingers in an obnoxious little wave, just because he could. “Any day now. Unless you prefer your current accommodations, I suppose.”

“You’re… helping me?” they asked, with far more dubiousness than Janus felt was warranted. He hadn’t even managed to actually stab them.

“Do you really have the luxury of suspicion right now?” he asked back, shaking the rope for emphasis.

That seemed to snap them out of it. In the next moment, they were wrapping the end of the rope around their wrist and planting their feet on the glass wall, hauling themself up with impressive speed.

Janus leaned back, planting himself as a firmer counterbalance, and then paused.

He could still hear the muted bangs of borrower-sized chemical warfare going on in the other room, but that was it. For a space inhabited by both twins at the same time, there was a suspicious lack of shouting.

Unless…

A chill ran up his spine, and he resisted the urge to yank pointlessly on his end of the rope. “Hurry.”

“I’m trying,” the stranger bit back, grunting as they got a grip on the edge of the pitcher and pulled themself up. They lifted their head and froze in place, all the blood draining from their face.

Janus knew what he'd see before he even turned his head. 

“I knew it,” Roman crowed from where he stood in the kitchen doorway, “you do talk!”

[virgil-isnt-a-lee]

If all the Sanders Sides characters were switches, what percentage of Ler/Lee would you hc them as? (Bonus points if you include Picani and Sleep)

Virgil is pretty easy, I'd give him about 75/25 lee/ler. I 100% see him with a huge lee lean, but don't underestimate him as a ler! C'mon he makes such a good ler, he absolutely plays off the anticipation and shit, and he and Roman get into tkl fights ALL the time, and someone's gotta bring princey down a peg or two, no? As a lee, he's just the cutest little shit ever, definitely tries not to giggle and fails.

Logan, hmm.. maybe 65/35 ler/lee. Definitely ler leaning when he indulges in the playfulness, but he's very methodical as a ler, he does that slight smile as he gets someone's worst spot, definitely. Makes mental notes of their reactions too. But also he gets tickled frequently when he's been working too much (usually by Patton, Roman, or Janus)

Patton is a solid 55/45 ler/lee, like ALMOST an even 50/50, but just slightly more ler leaning. Listen, he loves laughing and making the other sides laugh, even though he is the resident tickle monster and he 100% gets evil tickle monster moods, he always ends up wrecked too, and he loves both very much, but he's morality, and he just slightly loves making the other sides laugh more

Roman is an even 50/50, okay? He may start most of the tickle fights, but let's be so fr, at least half of those he starts because he wants to be tickled and he won't admit it outright. Very playful and teasy ler, probably calls the others princes or some other noble title while tickling them. Definitely curls up into a ball when he's tickled

Janus is like a good 80/20 ler/lee. He's got no problem wrecking the others, though he sometimes feels a little less secure when he's the lee, though he enjoys it occasionally. He usually only lees in three scenarios; Remus is bored and no one else is around, he didn't wreck his lee into being too tired to get revenge, or he really looks like he needs it. Very methodical ler, like Logan, but he's very teasy, unlike Logan (usually)

Remus is like 60/40 ler/lee, like Roman, he starts a lot of tickle fights, but not always because he wants tickles. A lot of things time, he just wants the chaos, the noise and laughter and adrenaline. And the tickles. As a ler, he's teasy but mostly focuses on making the lee laugh as loud as he can (he does know when to stop) as a lee, he is very squirmy but very happy and teasy, laughs really loudly and unrestrained, too.

Now I don't know too much about Emile, but I know enough to say he's probably lee leaning with a super cute laugh, so I'll give him about 70/30 lee/ler, because he and patton definitely have tickle fights.

Remy though, listen I love Remy. He's a solid 75/25 ler/lee. The other sides (really just picani) might try to tickle him out of bed, and it'll wake him up, but he'll just pull him back down into bed and tickle him until he agrees to take a nap with him.

Send me more asks y'all 😭

[edupunkn00b]

Roomies, Ch. 3: My Brother's Best Friend

Prev - My Brother's Best Friend - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

WC: 3028 - Rated: This chapter, G-ish - CW: vaguely suggestive

Patton, Remus, Roman, and Logan at breakfast the next morning

By the time Remus cracked open his eyes the next morning, Patton was already up, hair damp and bouncy from a shower, fully dressed with his bed made. “Damn, Patton,” he groaned, pushing back his weighted blanket and stretching. “It’s college, not boot camp.”

“Oh, yeah,” he laughed, high pitched and brittle, and looked down at his feet with a little shrug. 

Fuck. Remus dragged a hand through his hair. You’re trying to not freak him out, remember?

“Guess I just got in the habit, y’know?” Patton continued, filling the silence. “Be a good role model for my campers. Oh!” He looked up, eyes wide, feet shuffling back. “I—I didn’t wake you, did I? I can—”

“Nah, man,” Remus yawned and swung his legs over to one side of the bed. “You’re good, really. Honestly, I’m impressed.”

Patton eyed him like he was waiting for a punchline so Remus just smiled and draped the blanket over his own bed, ‘making’ it. More than he would usually bother, at least. “Hey, you hungry? Dining hall’s probably open.” He looked down at his own bare chest and laughed. “I should probably throw something on first but, then we can go together?”

He scratched his shoulder, waiting for the surprise splashed over Patton’s face to morph into some kind of answer. He’d meant for the invitation to sound confident and casual but it came out… not.

“You really want—” His jaw snapped shut and he stood as tall as his cute little 5’7” frame would let him. “Sure.” He smiled after a moment, nodding. “Yeah, um, take your time and we’ll go whenever you’re ready.”

Remus was already headed to the closet and grabbing the first tank top his hand closed on. He tugged it down over his head, pulled on his jeans from yesterday then swung around, buckling the belt. “Tada!”

It earned him an almost-laugh. Patton’s eyes sparkled, and his lips twitched into a bright pink smile. “You really meant ‘throw something on.’” 

“Yep.” He let his ‘p’ pop as he stuffed his morning meds and his ID in his jeans pocket, then shoved his feet into his boots. “After you?” he asked and opened the door.

~

The dining hall was quiet and nearly empty when they arrived, the silence marred only by a faint murmured conversation in the far corner and the clangs and beeping timers coming from the kitchen. He shuddered, the racket reminding him of his old job at McDonald’s.

Including the two of them, there were only five students in the entire dining hall. Apparently most of the campus had not arrived fresh from summer camp with an ingrained habit of early rising. Go figure.

“I’m gonna hit the—” The word ‘lavatory’ came to mind and he shook his head. He’d definitely spent way too much time around Logan. “The can,” he finally said, jerking his thumb toward the restroom doors. “Wanna grab us a table before they’re all gone?”

“Um…” Patton scanned the mostly empty room before nodding. “Sure.”

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, turning and walking backwards toward the restrooms. “I’ll bring you a coffee!”

Patton’s mouth opened but then snapped shut again before he nodded again, scanned his ID and picked up a tray.

As soon as he was out of sight, Remus backed open the swinging door and slid into the bathroom. After using the toilet he washed up and ran wet hands through his hair, wrangling his curls into something of a style. Finally, hand cupped with water from the tap, he took three tiny yellow pills, then splashed cold water over his face. Stubble pricked his palms and he frowned. He needed a shave. Patton’s face already looked baby smooth again. 

Remus chuckled. Patton really did have his whole morning thing down to a science. His stomach clenched, hunger or his meds. Or maybe just remembering Patton’s face last night. Fuck, Ro could be so blind. Had been since before high school. How he couldn’t see what was right in front of him all those years. Fucking dumba—

The restroom door swung open and a guy Remus vaguely recognized from move-in day sauntered in and gave him that weird head nod greeting. Apparently forgetting Remus could see him in the mirror, the guy’s gaze lingered on his ass as he passed. Remus grinned. That’s okay, Ro. Patton’ll find somebody who’ll appreciate him here. Plenty of pickings.

After smoothing down his mustache one more time and shoving two pieces of cinnamon gum in his mouth, Remus nodded at his own reflection. Plenty of pickings. He maybe even had some closer than he knew.

~

Once Remus had left, Patton collected his food quickly and sat at a large table far from the noise of the kitchen and alongside the windows facing the path from Ro—and Logan’s— dorm. He told himself he hoped to catch them before they sat somewhere else, or to save them from having to take one of the tables closer to the hisses and alarms in the kitchen as the dining hall slowly filled.

In a moment of honesty, though, Patton admitted to himself he was a little afraid Ro and Logan might accidentally-on-purpose not notice him when they did finally arrive. Ro was a devoted friend and he would likely be an even more devoted boyfriend. The Logan Patton remembered from school had been confident, even a little arrogant. This Logan was crushed and Ro’s tender heart felt responsible. Patton couldn't blame him if Logan pulled his attention away from anything—anyone—else.

Patton’s phone was heavy in his pocket. The only thing stopping him from double—okay, triple-texting Ro—and telling him he’d saved a seat for them at his table was last night’s Really Obviously Muscular And Nice 👑 has turned off notifications message and Patton's unread good morning text.

He took his time sprinkling pepper and salt on his eggs before taking tiny, slow bites. After a few long minutes, he spotted them in the distance, hands locked together and walking close. Patton couldn’t help but smile at Ro’s familiar stride, his excited movements, waving his arm about as he talked. Patton watched as Ro curled his other arm around Logan’s waist and pointed out the late summer blooms still clinging to the pine trees, then the bulletin board outside the dining hall, already plastered with student club announcements.

He waited for them to get closer, then rose from his chair, waving both arms when Logan seemed to notice him through the glass. Warmth filled his chest when Ro followed Logan’s gaze and waved back.

This was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay.

~

”Good morning, you two!” Patton grinned when Ro set down his tray and gave him a little half hug before taking the empty seat next to Logan.

“Have you been here long?” Ro asked, frowning as he looked around the still mostly-empty dining hall. “Alone?” he added before pursing his lips like he had more to say.

Patton shrugged. “Not alone, Remus is here, just…” 

“Couldn’t get away?” Roman frowned again and cut into his omelet. “You know, if you need me to have another talk with him about boundaries, I will.” 

Logan was quiet, watching them talk.

“I—I don’t…” Patton shook his head and smiled. “Thank you, Ro, but I don’t think it will be necessary.” 

“Pat, you don’t have to try to protect him.” Ro leaned closer, searching his eyes. “He’s my brother. Trust me, I know what he can be like.” 

Patton poked at his breakfast. Remus hadn’t been that bad. He’d even… Patton bit back a smile, remembering when Remus had tried to help Patton with his personal items, eyes closed and fumbling with the dresser and a stack of boxer shorts. Was he wrong to think it’d been kinda funny? “He’s been okay,” he said at last, nodding. “Really.” 

Ro opened his mouth but before he could continue his argument, Logan nudged his plate closer to him. “What do you think of your omelet?” he said pointedly, holding his gaze. “You should try it while it’s still warm.”

”Okay, okay,” Ro said, laughing. “I can take a hint.”

“Purportedly,” Logan said not-quite under his breath and Patton tried to hide his laugh behind a napkin.

Logan met Roman's pretend glare with his own before sipping his coffee. ”I must admit I was wrong to believe the stories of college dorm food. The offerings here appear fresh and reasonably healthy-” He cringed at the loud and protracted swooshing sound of canned whipped cream. “With some exceptions, of course.”

Roman laughed, “You should see what ten year olds do when get to put whatever they want on their pancakes. Remember my tenth birthday party?” he grinned at Patton across the table.

”That was one time!” Patton laughed. “And, for the record, ice cream on pancakes isn’t bad until it starts to melt.”

“That’s when it looks like a horror show,” Roman said, mostly to Logan.

Contemplating his own eggs, Logan hummed and took a bite. “There is an element of body horror in many of the foods we consume each morning.”

“Now you’re sounding like my brother,” Ro laughed.

Eyebrow raised, Logan turned to Ro. He nearly smiled. “Indeed.”

Ro laughed again and kissed his cheek before he looked at Patton. “Okay, since Lo brought up the body horror," he flashed Logan a smile when he sighed and made a 'go ahead' motion with his other hand. "I still don't understand how you ended up rooming with Remus.” He reached across the table and gave his hand a little squeeze. “Pat, you can tell us for real… how is it going? It’s not too late to get another room change, you know. Your parents could call the Housing Office if the RAs won’t listen to you.”

Ro's hand was warm but he let go entirely too quickly. “I…" Patton shook his head. "I… I don’t need to… An—and—and besides, Remus is fine. He’s been…” Aside from increasingly inappropriate—and ridiculous—guesses about what he’d brought in his little blue bag, Remus didn’t once try to find out what was actually inside while he’d helped him unpack. He hadn’t even touched it.

“He’s been great, actually.” Patton tried not to sound so surprised. “You know, he’s really—”

“Hey, these guys bothering you?” Remus suddenly said from behind him, setting down a tray heavy with two mugs, a pile of fruit, oatmeal and yogurt. A plate of toasted bagels and jellies teetered on top and Remus set that in the middle of their table before sitting next to him. “Don’t want Ro getting hangry on us, do we?” he winked at his brother who scowled back.

“Your company is a pleasure, as always, Re,” Ro murmured, his raised eyebrow and pursed lips saying just how much he meant it. “When we found dear Patton here dining alone we assumed you’d abandoned him for some tryst in the hallway.”

Remus threw his head back, laughing. “Nah, you woulda heard me. ‘I’m quite the screamer.’”

Logan looked up from his coffee, eyes narrowed. “Doctor Who reference?“ Remus nodded at him, his smile two shades brighter. “Fantastic,” he murmured and took another sip.

“Don’t encourage him,” Ro whispered.

“I told you he said he’d come back,” Patton said but Ro just rolled his eyes and shifted his chair a little closer to Logan.

“I sure did.” Remus took one of the steaming mugs and set it next to Patton's plate along with a little handful of creamers and sugar packets. “You like it light and sweet, right?”

“I do, but when did…” He wracked his brain, trying to remember when he might’ve told Remus how he took his coffee. He’d only started drinking it senior year and only at— “Oh, the sleepover!” he grinned up at Ro. “We stayed up all night after Homecoming.”

“That is most unhealthy,” Logan said, frowning lightly at Ro.

“Do not worry, mi amor,” Ro soothed, wrapping an arm around Logan’s shoulders before jerking his chin up at Patton. “I didn’t stay up all night, he did.”

Patton shrugged and he hoped no-one else noticed the heat crawling up his face. “I’d never had coffee before. That first cup was…” The memory of the bitter coat on his tongue made his nose scrunch and he shook his head. “It was not good.”

“It’s better with a little something in it,” Remus laughed, plunking two creamers into his own cup.

“It was,” Patton said, nodding with a little laugh. “So much better I had three cups. Don’t worry—” he said when Logan’s eyes widened. “I drink a lot less now.”

“Hm.” Logan’s grunt seemed to end the subject but he eyed the three of them like he half-expected one of them to guzzle an entire pot. Roman leaned close and whispered something in his ear. Whatever he said seemed to mollify him and when a flush grew over Ro's face at Logan's too-quiet-to-hear response, Patton returned his attention to his own coffee.

Remus coughed, loudly, and the couple stopped whispering. Logan cleared his throat and took another bite of his breakfast while Ro snagged one of the bagels Remus had brought. “Your tattoo appears to be healing adequately,” Logan remarked, eyebrows raised over the top of his glasses. “Perhaps your experience with your first tattoo impressed upon you the importance of proper aftercare?”

“Oh, you know I never skimp on aftercare.” Remus chuckled, some inside joke pulling a half-laugh from Logan. Ro got the joke but didn’t like it, glaring at his brother for a long moment before spearing a bit of omelet. Still grinning, Remus turned to Patton. “Yeah, it hurt like a bitch. I didn’t use the lotion they gave me and… whew,” he whistled. “That was too much even for me.” He craned his neck to and looked at the edge of his shoulder. The rainbow-hued jellyfish peeking out from around his tank top already a lot less red than it had been yesterday afternoon. “It's looking better already and hurts a fuckton less.”

“Remus…" Guilt fluttered in Patton’s belly and he looked more closely at the sore skin around Remus' new tattoo. He hadn’t thought the redness meant it hurt, just— "Is that why you slept with your shirt off?”

“Re!” Leaning across the table and glaring at his brother, Ro sounded outraged. “You paraded around in the nude in front of my friend? You promised me you’d—” 

“Excuse you, I paraded around my roommate!” Remus shot Patton a quizzical look before his glare returned and he stared down his brother. “And no, I wasn’t nude.”

The image of Remus hurrying to get dressed that morning, squid-decorated boxers dancing with his movement, came unbidden to Patton’s mind and he dumped another sugar into his coffee and stirred.

“Fine,” Ro snapped, pointing to his own eyes and then at Remus before sitting back, arms crossed over his chest. Logan stroked his arm until he relaxed, smiling back at him with a soft blush. 

“Anywhoo…” Remus bumped Patton’s shoulder and grinned when he looked up. His smile was wild as usual, practically vibrating with energy. Remus’ eyes, though, were serious and met his for a long moment, searching for something. He seemed to find whatever he was looking for because his smile softened and he nodded before giving him a little wink and addressing the table. “I’ve been thinking about the design for my next tattoo. Maybe a little something in a more… personal place?” He waggled his eyebrows, watching Ro and Logan’s expressions, clearly waiting for one of them to take the bait.

Patton bit back an inappropriate laugh and tried to hide his smile behind his coffee. Remus wasn’t suggesting what it sounded like, was he?

“You know…” He shimmied his shoulders. “Something a little glans-dular?”

Logan’s fork dropped to his plate and he sighed. “Roman, please share with your brother the inadvisability of tattooing one’s genitals.”

“Aw, come on…” Remus whined like he was pleading for a puppy from strict parents. “You don’t think I should get a little happy face tattooed on my happy place?”  

“No!” Ro and Logan said in unison. Turning to look at him, Remus waggled his eyebrows and winked.

Patton lowered his eyes, face hot. He caught sight of the sausage links on his plate and the charred bit at one end suddenly made his stomach turn. “Um, Remus, you can have these if you want.”

“Mmm, while I’d never say no to a bite of your—” he started to laugh then stopped when the table shuddered. Patton caught movement underneath and spied Ro’s heel pressed into his brother’s boot.

He flashed Ro a grateful smile.

“Remus does not consume meat,” Logan said. He ignored the brothers’ partially hidden wrestling and instead spread raspberry jam on one of the bagels Remus had brought.

“You’re a vegetarian?” Patton blurted out before he could stop himself, mouth agape as he stared at Remus.

“Well, yeah,” Remus said, shrugging. Was he… blushing? 

He took a closer look at the food Remus had brought to the table. The bagels… An apple and an orange, a big bowl of yogurt sprinkled with nuts and little black chia seeds, coffee—well, coffees , he’d made good on his promise to bring him a coffee, too.

Patton frowned. How had he never noticed before? Remus had come along a few times when he and Ro had gone for pizza or chinese or whatever but Patton couldn’t remember noticing whether or not he ate what they did. He couldn’t actually remember noticing much of what Remus did, aside from his dirty jokes or his loud music. Or his bullying of the bullies. 

“Guess I read Charlotte’s Web a few too many times as a kid, huh?”

Patton looked up and Remus was watching him with unexpectedly soft expression, an almost shy smile replacing his earlier smirk. He’d twisted a napkin around his finger, wrapping and unwrapping it as he waited for Patton to say something.

“I dunno…” Patton’s frown shifted into a matching smile and this time he shrugged. “Maybe you read it just the right number of times.”

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Defiance | Resilience

I had an IdeaTM if you feel like writing (: So at the end of Defiance, right? Logan realizes what happened, he was being manipulated by Orange, yadda yadda. Afterwards, he refuses to talk about it. He's just overall very cold and closed off, because maybe if he grips his emotions tight enough and keeps a firm enough control over his mind then nobody will be able to take him over like that again. The others become pretty concerned for him, because they haven't seen him this detached since the early episodes. And they're probably also a bit annoyed that he's shwing such indifference. Eventually somebody snaps, and Logan figuratively grips the jar that is his emotions so tightly that it shatters in a messy explosion that cuts everyone and ends in him completely vulnerable, apologizing for everything he thinks he's done wrong. And then idk what happens, comfort :D – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: allusions to mind control/mind manipulation

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2292

    Logan's acting weird.

Now, Roman's the first to admit that he's a harsh judge of what Logan's doing, at least out loud, but that's their thing. Creativity vs. Logic and all that, Right Brain vs. Left Brain. They're used to getting on each other's nerves, egging each other on, getting into pointless arguments that don't mean anything and are just for fun and to make each other stop being stuck-up idiots all the time. Yes, Roman can admit he's a stuck-up idiot most of the time! Granted, he's putting it on, more likely than not, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know what he's doing! It's a role, it's his role, it's the one he and Logan have perfected in their banter back and forth.

At least…it used to be.

Now, though, when Roman tries to start one of their stupid inane debates, Logan just shuts him down immediately. Not even a moment to entertain whatever point Roman's trying to make, immediately just telling him that he's wrong very bluntly or ignoring the obvious joke setup he's trying to volley. Even when he makes a big deal out of not understanding something very simple, Logan doesn't even humor him anymore, he just tells Roman he's wrong and what the right answer is. Sometimes he does it without even looking at him. He's categorically refusing to commit to the bit and that is a cardinal sin.

And okay, maybe Roman could pick his moments a little better, and not right in the middle of a meeting or something where everyone else is trying really hard to be productive—okay, mostly everyone else, thank you, Remus—and Logan's got his hands full trying to help everyone else. But that's the point! Another thing those arguments help do is get the others to snap out of it! 'Cause they'll just get into little squabbles themselves that aren't productive and then if they watch Logan and Roman get into one, more often than not they realize that whatever they were on about isn't helping anyone either and they all get to have a laugh at themselves, calm down, and actually start talking like adults! It's a foolproof plan that works 87% of the time, according to Logan!

But lately, that percentage has taken such a steep nosedive that Roman's not sure the plane has any survivors left.

Now, he just gets shunted to the outside of the conversation. He'll get told off by not just Logan, but everyone else when they see how upset it makes Logan. Which he doesn't understand, they've talked about the jokes he's not supposed to make and the buttons Logan doesn't want him to push and he's not, he's staying away from those. He's picking literally the softest balls to throw, they're so plush and fluffy, and Logan's burning them out of the sky with a flamethrower. He's even tried to go up to Logan after the meetings or whenever these happen, trying to ask what he's doing wrong, Logan used to like these, what can he do better, but Logan just turns him away and says he doesn't have time for jokes.

Which is how Roman knows Logan's really acting weird.

Logan's favorite long-running bit is that he doesn't understand any sort of joke. That doesn't mean he finds them funny, but he gets why other people would find them funny. He loves playing the ironic straight man for the others because then he's included in the joke but he doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not. Other than the straight part. But Roman can remember how much he was trying to stop himself from smiling the first time they did the overexplain bit in front of the others, he used to love that bit—and he's not trying to say that Logan can't change! Tastes evolve, people grow, it's just a fact of life, but it's—he's getting worried.

He tried to go confront Logan—gently! He wasn't trying to corner him or anything!—and ask if he's genuinely okay, but Logan just thanked him for asking and changed the subject. Which is a lie of omission if Roman's ever heard one. Or not heard—you get it.

So he tried the sneakier route and he found out that Logan's not met up with Virgil or Remus for their watch parties where they analyze horror stuff, he's not been on his usual walk with Janus through the peaceful part of the Imagination. He's not even been downstairs on weekend mornings to help Patton with the baking. Then he realized that Logan's favorite mug isn't getting used anymore—he's not being a stalker, okay, one of his household chores is to clean the dishes that are hand-wash only and Logan's mug is hand-wash only—and instead he's using this plain white mug that isn't even big enough to hold a decent amount of coffee. And he called off working on his own projects with Roman, like, eight times now.

So, yeah. Logan's acting weird and Roman's worried.

Now, if only he could get Logan to stop glaring at him…

"Shit, Princey," Virgil mutters, "you've been using all one of your brain cells on this, huh?"

Roman doesn't take the bait. He just looks at Logan with what he hopes is the please understand how sincerely concerned I am as someone who cares about you face as Logan's jaw sets and he folds his arms.

"Perhaps this would explain why Thomas has been having such a hard time working on the finale," he says coldly, "his Creativity is clearly focused on the wrong thing."

"Hey, wait," Remus says, frowning, "why is being worried about you the wrong thing?"

"Roman's right," Patton adds, crossing his arms too, "that's—that's a worrying amount of things, kiddo."

"I believe I have asked you not to call me that."

"Right, right, sorry, Logan."

Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If this is all this meeting is supposed to be about, I ask that you leave me out of them in future unless there is something pressing to discuss."

"This is pressing!" Roman takes a small step forward despite the way Logan's still glaring at him. "You're not alright, Logan, I know you aren't—"

"Oh, because you're always an excellent judge of me, aren't you?"

Okay, ouch, but fair. "Logan, I didn't mean it like that—"

"Then why don't you say what you do mean," Logan interrupts, before he stops himself and takes a deep breath. "I apologize, that was untoward."

Roman just waves him off. Logan looks for a moment like he might say something else before his expression hardens and he turns away.

"If that will be all—"

"Hold on, L," Virgil says, sitting up and reaching over the banister to touch Logan's shoulder, "we're not gonna leave it like this. As much as I hate to say it, Roman's right. You've been off since we had that whole weird thing with the orange mist, are you sure it isn't—"

"It's fine," Logan spits out, shrugging Virgil's hand off, "it is not affecting me anymore, any influence it had was eliminated when the switch was thrown."

A quiet hiss comes from his other side as Janus exchanges a look with Roman. Roman just shrugs helplessly—he's just brought the problem up, that doesn't mean he knows how to solve it, that's what he needs everyone else's help for. Janus nods in understanding and moves to get in front of Logan again.

"Logan," he says quietly, "if this is affecting Roman's ability to focus, then shouldn't that mandate that we reassure whatever irrational worry he's worked into his head so that we can all get back to work?"

"I think you somehow got both of us with that one," Virgil mutters, "irrational worries are my thing."

Roman doesn't even care because Logan's still trying to leave. Whatever hushed conversation he's having with Janus is getting louder and louder and out of sheer desperation, he moves forward to talk to Logan himself—

Suddenly he's flying across the room. His back hits the wall with a slam and he slides to the floor, dazed.

"Holy shit—"

"Roman!"

Remus appears in front of him as Roman blinks, dazed. He cups his hands around Roman's face and looks at him hard. Roman clumsily pats his wrist. "Hey, 'm all good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, wasn't that bad."

"Janny?"

"He's telling the truth."

"See?" Roman swats lightly at Remus's shoulders. "Lemme up. I'm fine."

"You get hit in the head too much, Princey," Virgil mutters, still sounding slightly baffled that Roman just flew across the room and smacked into the wall.

"You get used to it."

"I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing. Back me up, Logan."

When no response comes, Roman shakes himself off and gets up, immediately letting out a soft noise of concern when he sees the tears streaming down Logan's face. Janus has two of his hands on Logan's shoulders, a third one gently around his wrist. Roman holds his hands up and cautiously approaches, stopping when Logan lets out a whimper.

"Hey, hey," he murmurs, "I'm okay, I'm not mad. I'm not even hurt, see?"

"He's not lying," Janus says, the hands softening as Logan starts to wobble, "come sit, sweetie, let Roman be a mother hen for a second."

"I think that's Patton's thing."

"No, he's Papa Cock!"

"Never say anything like that again, Remus."

Roman tunes them out in favor of crouching in front of Logan. After a moment, he reaches out and lays his hands palm up if Logan wants to take them. "I'm not mad, really, Logan. I'm just worried. You—are you okay?"

Logan looks down, tears still brimming fat and heavy in the corners of his eyes and he slowly shakes his head and sniffles. Roman holds his hands out a little more and Logan takes them, squeezing tentatively. "I'm sorr—sorry, Roman."

"It's okay, it's okay—"

"It's not," Logan interrupts, glaring as if on sheer willpower alone he could make himself stop crying long enough to speak, "it's not okay that I just did that, or that I—that I've been rude to you and—and that I'm not using my favorite mug anymore—"

"Shh, take a moment," Janus encourages, rubbing his back, "shh, shh, there you go…"

Logan sniffles again. "I just—I'm just—I—"

Over on the staircase, Virgil makes a quiet oh sound. "He's scared, Princey."

"Of me? Am I making it worse?"

"No, not of you—not directly, anyway." Virgil comes around and sits at the base of the stairs. "L, can I—is this helpful?"

Logan nods and Roman brings his hand up to kiss Logan's knuckles.

"He's—he's afraid of the orange thing coming back," Virgil continues, "given how easily it affected him last time, he's afraid—oh, L, it's okay."

"It will use me to hurt you again," Logan mumbles around hitching breaths, "and I—I don't—I don't want to hurt you, it's—but it's so much stronger than—than me when I'm—when I'm—like th-this, so—I'm—Roman, I'm sorry!"

"Shh, hey, hey, hey—" he kisses Logan's hand again— "I'm not mad, I promise, see? It's okay to be scared, that thing that happened was really scary, but the rest of us are here, you know? We'll help you."

The others make their noises of agreement as Logan starts to scoot toward the edge of the couch. Roman opens his arms and lets Logan crash into his lap, wrapping his arms around him and holding him closer.

"There, is that better? You just wanna hold onto me a bit?" Logan nods into the crook of his shoulder. "Hey, that's it. We can sit here. That's cool."

"You're sure you're—you're okay?"

"I'm a big dumb brick, remember? I'm a tank."

"Y're not dumb," Logan mumbles, "you f'gired out all—all of this, you're—y're smart."

"Here, here," Virgil echoes, "now, this looks like cuddle-puddle territory to me, am I right, Logan?"

"Mhm."

"You heard him," Roman hears Remus cackle, "everyone on the mattress!"

A massive fluffy thing poofs into existence beneath Roman and Logan and Roman immediately lies them down, chuckling as Janus takes one of the blankets and tucks them in. Logan snuggles a little deeper into his chest and he rests his cheek against the crown of Logan's head.

"We're here for you, okay?" He rubs Logan's back. "Whatever color you're feeling."

"Yeah?"

"I'll out-stubborn you on this too," he threatens playfully just to hear Logan's snuffling laugh in his ear.

"Okay, okay, I believe you."

"Good. Now—hey, Remus! Keep your elbows to yourself!"

"Shit, sorry."

"Language!"

"How come I get language and Emo over there didn't?"

"You snitch!"

Roman just cuddles Logan closer as their eyes drift closed. Out of the corner of his eye he thinks he glimpses something orange floating near the top of the stares and glares until it goes away.

You stay away from my Logan.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[logarhythm-bees]

To Unearth and Back Again; ⛅Chapter 1

When Roman had pulled his brother aside after dinner, asking him to keep the resident lovebirds out of the way - Logan, Patton, and Janus in layman's terms- out of the way the next morning so he could have some alone time with Virgil, he’d been expecting Remus to act relatively normal about it. Invite them to play a particularly weapon-themed board game, or force them to make slime with him, potentially even bounce around ideas together. Something simple.

What Roman does not anticipate��but in hindsight, really should have, considering “simple” is a word that Remus typically tries to keep out of his vocabulary–is for Remus to kidnap Janus and leave them a cryptic note sending them on a winding quest through the imagination to find him. Roman isn’t seeing a chance to talk to Virgil alone as planned, everyone’s got tension they’re not quite ready to address, and Janus is missing. Oh, and Thomas comes on the quest too.

Bonds are re-found, re-forged, and re-evaluated, and Janus has a fun time at the Mindscape’s best-worst mind palace tea party.

Table of Contents | Chapter Two

See ronithesnail's absolutely wonderful art for this story!

The clouds overhead open up For the wicked and just all the same And lay low the hills, so to fill Every valley and vale to the brim

-Oh Sleeper, The Oh Hellos

In hindsight, Roman should have seen this coming.

The six sides had met up for dinner, Patton’s original spaghetti (and garlic bread!) recipe simmering on the stove when they all showed up in the mindscape’s common area. As they all took their seats at the table, Roman sat himself between Remus and Virgil. Dinner in recent times had been tense–Logan and Patton had entered a relationship, which had Roman and Virgil hoping that things would improve between their group–but soon they invited Janus into their relationship too, and the division between the sides widened even further. Roman and Virgil, sore from what Janus had done to them, began to separate themselves from Logan and Patton, and they seemed to drift away in return, yearning for their friends back but not wanting to force themselves back into their space before they were ready. Janus, too, cloaked in his secrets and hidden away from them, was not ready yet to try to build any sort of positive bond with them again. 

Remus, caught in the middle of it all, didn’t seem to mind his role as the new mindscape mediator–mostly because he did not mediate at all besides smashing things and talking about organs and generally doing things that would allow the other sides to agree on something, which was that he needed to calm down a little bit.

Dinner passed mostly in awkward silence, Patton and Logan trying to initiate friendly conversation and being met with curt answers from Virgil, and Remus occasionally interjecting with topics that were not appropriate for the dinner table and being politely reprimanded by one of the others. 

Roman, however, had tuned mostly out of the conversation. Inside his head, he was fighting a struggle of his own. In his distancing from Logan and Patton, he had grown closer to Virgil than ever, and realized something that had shaken his world. He loved Virgil. The swell in his chest was bigger than it had ever been before, his face warm from smiling after the time they spent together. The adoration in his heart was becoming ignorable, and he couldn’t be around Virgil without thinking of love, love, love.

There was something about it, though, that seemed so uncertain. He loved Virgil, no doubt about it, but saying he was in love with Virgil seemed–wrong, somehow.

He had decided, though, that he wanted to tell Virgil. Maybe when he confessed, it would make sense, and he and Virgil would be in love with each other and kiss and live happily ever after and ride off to the sunset on a horse while an orchestra swelled in the background.

Okay, maybe the horse thing was a little bit overzealous. But the rest of it was a foolproof idea. He wanted Virgil to know. Even if Virgil didn’t reciprocate–which Roman really hoped he did–maybe hearing it aloud would help him untie the strange knot of feelings in his stomach.

How to go about it, though? He could show up at his door with flowers–No, Virgil got too anxious about the flowers dying. Writing him a letter? No–letters could be misinterpreted so easily, and he didn’t want Virgil to think it was some sort of prank, or misunderstand the letter’s intention. Maybe a picnic?

A picnic sounded wonderful, honestly.

Roman smiled to himself. It was a great plan! He would throw a picnic for Virgil to tell him his feelings, and-

“Roman? Roman, you there?”

-they would get to spend some time alone, finally. Away from a certain trio.

Roman looked up to Patton as he called his name. Patton looked at him, head tilted in concern and a considering expression on his face. “Are you okay? You’ve barely eaten.”

Roman flinched. What business of it was Patton’s what Roman was getting up to in his head? 

None, that’s what.

“I’m just fine,” Roman said, sharpness like swords laced in his tongue, and a hurt look crossed Patton’s features. Roman only felt a little bit bad.

Janus looked at Roman, who only scowled more as he shoved a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth. Patton’s cooking was one of his favorite things, normally, but now something sat so bitter on his tongue. 

What good was it being made with love, if none of it was meant for him?

Roman slumped in his chair, fighting back the tears that stung in the corners of his eyes. There was a weight on his lap, suddenly, and his eyes flickered to the source of it, tears becoming harder to hold when he recognized Virgil’s hand, palm up for Roman to hold if he wanted.

Roman took it, squeezing it gently, and Virgil turned to look at him in his peripheral vision, something so soft in his expression that it made Roman feel, for a moment, that everything would be okay. He ran his thumb over Virgil’s nails, painted black that shone purple in the light, rather a lot like him.

Managing to bring himself away from the tears with Virgil’s (kind, kind and brave Virgil) hand touching his own, Roman looked down at his plate and stabbed another mouthful of spaghetti with his fork as the table fell quiet for the remainder of the meal and the gears in Roman’s head started turning again. By the time he had finished his spaghetti and (admittedly, delicious, not that he was ready to say that to Patton) garlic bread, Roman had a very simple four-techinally-five-step plan.

Step one: 

Get Remus to distract the other sides for the morning so Roman and Virgil would be uninterrupted.

Step two:

Set up a nice picnic for the both of them.

Step three:

Invite Virgil to breakfast in the living room.

Step four:

Confess. 

Step five (optional):

Kiss Virgil, or invite him on another date maybe.

It was foolproof! Right?

Right.

As the sides stood up from the table, collecting their dishes and returning them to the sink, Roman followed a little ways behind Remus. As the other sides headed to their rooms for the night, Roman caught Remus’s arm, and did something very dumb. “I need your help,” Roman asked.

Remus grinned.

“Tomorrow,” Roman started, “I want to invite Virgil to a picnic, here in the mind palace. I don't want Logan, Patton and Janus to see and interrupt. Can you maybe keep them out of the way?” He paused. “Preferably non-violently?”

Remus’s eyebrows raised and he snickered a little bit. “Finally getting your act together, are ya, Ramen?” He inspected his nails overdramatically in an act to be nonchalant, carefully looking at the edges of the chewed black paint and acrylic plastic. 

“Roman,” Roman said indignantly. “Close enough,” said Remus, rolling his eyes and waving a hand at Roman flippantly. “Alright, I’ll bite.” He smiled, showing off a beam of sharper-than-average teeth. “Literally if they let me!” He closed his mouth, smirking and squinting, looking rather a lot like a shark, or a piranha inspecting its prey. “But what’s in it for me?”

Roman sighed.

“Here,” he mumbled, pulling a crumpled dollar bill out of his pocket. “The one and only mindscape dollar. Do with it what you please, but please don’t destroy it or do anything weird to it, Patton will cry.”

Remus grabbed it out of his hand with a hunger, inspecting it like a bloodhound for a moment and then holding it up to the light and cackling. “Oh, that’s the real thing alright! You’ve got yourself a deal.” He brought his hand up to his mouth, about to spit in it, but Roman very quickly snatched it away to shake it. “We can make an agreement just fine without any…unsanitary substances,” Roman said, grimacing, giving Remus’s hand another firm shake before quickly pulling it away before he could try anything else. 

“But it’s so much more fun,” Remus groaned, flopping onto Roman’s shoulder, who quickly shoved him off. “If you say so,” Roman replied, dusting off his costume.

“I do!” Remus grinned. “And speaking of fun, I’m gonna go snort some crushed-up Warheads with your precious dollar bill!” Remus waved it around, sniffing it and wafting the air around it like it was a particularly fancy glass of wine. He laughed again, rubbing the dollar on his face. Roman cringed, but let out a breath and started towards his room. “Have fun with that,” he sighed, taking the first step onto the stairs. “But don’t forget, I’m not giving that to you for free.”

“Oh, I won’t forget it,” Remus laughed, and then he winked at Roman, and before Roman could question what his brother might mean by that he had disappeared from the kitchen and sunk out to his room.

“Weirdo,” Roman said, rolling his eyes, but smiling to himself as he went to his room and got ready for bed. Staring at his ceiling with his head on his pillow, he tried, bouncing around the excitement in his chest, to get himself to sleep.

Remus couldn’t phase him from this. He had big plans tomorrow, after all.

[misery-bitchness-moved]

Roman Accidentally Creates a Doppelgänger

A/N: I’ve been working on this one for a long time and I’m SO glad I finally finished it. I’ll likely write more expanding on this concept like Virgil eventually finding out and maybe even a threesome with the two Virgil’s but we’ll see

Summary- Roman, in the midst of dealing with a huge crush on Virgil, subconsciously uses the imagination to create his own Virgil. Basically, the imagination tells Roman to get laid.

Content warnings: none I don’t think? I mean Roman has sex with a Virgil doppelgänger so if that’s not your thing fair enough maybe skip this one

Roman had a problem that seemed to be growing each time he left his room. Ever since Virgil tried to duck out, the broody emo had been spending more of his time outside his room and with the others. Including Roman. With each new dilemma Thomas faced, the two grew closer and closer even as relationships with Logan and Patton grew strained now that Janus and even Remus were in the mix.

In the midst of all the chaos, Roman had undeniably become overwhelmingly attracted to Virgil. He adored everything about him from his snarky smile to the way his purple eyeshadow shimmered whenever he got excited. The nights they would stay up late watching Disney movies in Roman’s room, cuddled against each other under his sheets were Roman’s favorite. He loved the quips Virgil shot at him and his angelic laugh when Roman bickered back.

Despite being a romantic at heart, Roman was incredibly hesitant to further his relationship with Virgil in fear of ruining what they’ve worked so hard to have. To say they had a rocky start was understatement and Roman would sooner lose at the hands of the dragon witch than lose Virgil.

So he hoped that once their fractured relationships with the others healed, his feelings would fade and everything would go back to normal. Unfortunately, as Patton and Janus approached Roman with an apology and the hope of reaching an understanding, everyone worked together to make Logan feel more heard, and Janus and Virgil tentatively repaired their once unbreakable bond, Roman’s feelings stayed. In fact, now that they spent less time together and more time with the others, Roman found himself looking forward to their solitary movie and cuddle nights even more.

Sitting at the kitchen table as Patton mixed a fresh batch of cookies and Janus made some comment that resulted in Virgil’s gorgeous laugh echoing throughout the room, Roman was reminded of this exact predicament. He wanted to be the reason for Virgil’s elated expression, wanted to be the reason for the healthy flush across his cheeks, visible despite the white foundation. Roman loved it when he could see the red dusting his stormcloud’s cheeks and would love even more to see it without his makeup covering it as well as how the flush would spread across his body when he-

Roman’s eyes widened and a dark blush reddened his own cheeks as he realized just where his train of thought was heading. That was the other part of his problem. As much as Roman was embarrassed to admit it, his thoughts had recently taken a more... suggestive turn. He desperately wanted to know what Virgil would look like beneath him, bare and breathless and something Roman knew he could never have. The fact that he was even having these thoughts was enough to send him hurtling out of his seat and towards the privacy of his room despite the confused and concerned looks sent his way.

Closing and locking his door behind him, Roman sighed and settled behind his desk with the small hope that getting some work done would distract him from his heated thoughts. He began scribbling away, mostly nonsense base ideas that weren’t meant to really go anywhere, just something to keep his mind off Virgil.

Virgil…

“Roman?”

The prince immediately perked up at the sound of the anxious emo’s voice and quickly took notice that his mindless scrawling seemed to take the form artful sketches of the emo side himself, causing Roman to panic and scramble to cover the pages before they could be seen.

“Ah! Just a moment, Virgil! Apologies, you caught me off guard, I-”

“Princey~”

Roman froze and felt his cheeks heat up. Virgil’s voice was smooth, yet soft and if he wasn’t mistaken, a bit teasing. A small part of him even wanted to believe it was intentionally seductive because that tone of voice certainly did things to Roman. However, he quickly brushed those thoughts aside as he knew Virgil would never do that and he was ashamed of himself for even thinking such thoughts as he stood from his chair and turned around to face the side he had already kept waiting for far too long.

Roman felt his breathing stop and his heart rate spike.

There stood Virgil, leaning with one arm against his bedpost, in the most seductive clothes the prince had ever seen him in. The dark purple skirt he wore rose just above his midthigh and left very little to the imagination. He had a sheer, black crop top that didn’t cover anything and on his neck rested a deep red choker with a small crown charm dangling from it. Virgil’s eyes were lidded and his teeth bit his plush bottom lip teasingly, leaving Roman unable to look away without desperately wanting to know what those full lips would feel like on his.

Virgil giggled at Roman’s awe, his jaw nearly dropping to the floor as the normally anxious and reserved side swung himself around the bedpost and sat on the edge of the prince’s massive bed. The skirt rose up even more and Roman swore he could see a hint of what looked to be red lace underneath, causing his face to flare up even more than it already had. The object of his affections spread his legs slightly, just enough to tease Roman, and he laid back onto the bed, arms stretched above his head. Both the shirt and skirt rose higher as a result confirming there was in fact lacy red lingerie underneath those sinful clothes.

Roman could feel himself get light headed as all his blood rushed downward and he felt a familiar warmth coiling in his gut. He collapsed back in his chair, fearing if he stood for any longer, his legs would give out. Only the sound of Virgil’s teasing, seductive voice was able to snap him out of the trance he was in.

“Princey, I need you. I’ve wanted you for so long, please, I can’t wait any longer. Please, take me, Roman,” he whimpered desperately, batting his eyes innocently at the other side who was struggling to keep his composure.

Had it not been for the sheer amount of shock and confusion running through his head, Roman would have jumped the man’s bones by now, but his head simply couldn’t wrap itself around the situation at hand. Roman had just seen Virgil in the commons and was certain he wasn’t wearing the revealing clothes that now hugged his smaller frame.

“Virgil? I… What’s going on? Wait, how did you even get in here? This doesn’t make sense; when did you even change?” Roman stumbled over his words, confusion just barely beating out his desire to take Virgil’s newfound forwardness at face value.

Virgil replied coolly, sitting up and still looking at Roman with that horribly seductive expression, “You wanted me didn’t you? Well, here I am.”

“I…” The prince wasn’t completely sure how to respond to that. Virgil certainly wasn’t wrong, but it still didn’t answer any questions he had.

Unfortunately, before he had the chance to ask anymore questions, Virgil had moved from the bed right on to Roman’s lap, straddling him with arms wrapped around his shoulders. Roman’s grip on the armrests of his chair tightened as the object of his affections began mouthing at his neck, hot breath against his ear, whispering, “Stop worrying, my prince, that’s my job. Besides, there’s much better things you and I could be doing right now.”

Virgil’s voice was downright salacious and Roman was just about to give in, eyes drifting shut, leaning in towards the other’s lips…

Knock knock knock!

“Hey, Princey! Open up!”

Virgil’s voice called from the other side of Roman’s door who shot up from his seat, sending the look-alike to the floor. His mind racing, he looked from his door to the thing he had previously thought to be Virgil.

“What the hell? Oh my god, what the hell?! What is going on, what are you?” Roman cried as quietly as he could, hoping not to alert the real Virgil.

The fake just tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. “I’m Virgil, dear. I’m here to give you everything you want,” he said, voice still using that seductive lilt.

“What are you… oh. Oh god. Fuck. Fuck! You’re a construct of the imagination, aren’t you?” The question was more of an accusation, but the imaginary Virgil didn’t flinch, even as Roman continued his panicked rant, “How did you even get here? I never made Virgil in the imagination! Who would even…? Remus. That jerk sent you here just to mess with me! When I get my hands on him-”

“Roman! Dude, are you okay? What the hell is going on in there?”

Right. Real Virgil. Right outside his door.

“Coming!” Roman shouted before turning to the doppelganger, “You! Hide behind the bed! Now!”

Roman all but dragged the construct to its makeshift hiding place before he opened his door just enough to let Virgil see him, but not into his room.

“Virgil! My dear friend! What brings you here?” He asked as casually as he could, mentally kicking himself for how unconvincing he sounded.

“Um… I was just checking in on you. You like… bolted out of the kitchen out of nowhere. Is everything okay?”

Roman was sure he was sweating at this point. He fidgeted with his shirt, answering nervously, “Yes! Yes, of course! I just… had an idea! I simply had to write it down right away before I forgot it. You know how forgetful I can be and when creativity strikes, I simply must act.”

While Virgil didn’t quite look convinced, he didn’t actively seem suspicious of Roman. Instead, he simply sighed and said “If you say so, dude. Just… let me know if you need to talk, okay? Bottling things up never does any good and I care about you. We all do”

Virgil’s voice had taken on a softer tone, one that melted Roman’s heart. His sincerity and concern was just so… Virgil, and Roman couldn’t help but think about how absolutely whipped he was for the man in front of him.

“Thank you, Virgil. Truly. You’ll be the first to know if something comes up.”

Virgil gave him an awkward smile in an attempt to mirror the genuine one Roman wore. With a small nod, he walked away, no doubt going to his room to decompress, and Roman closed his door with a sigh of relief.

“Roman~”

“Goddammit.”

Not-Virgil had moved from where Roman placed him, hidden behind his ornate bed, to lay on top of the covers, stretched out on his side, tracing circles onto the silk sheets with his finger. He batted his eyes and, for a second, Roman flushed at the perfect look-alike of the man he so desperately wanted before he got ahold of himself again.

“Nope, no. You are going back to the imagination where you belong and you can go back to Remus and tell him to fuck off. I don’t want any part in his stupid games. Creating you to torment me is a low blow and I won’t-”

“Remus didn’t make me.”

The doppelganger spoke up suddenly. It caught Roman off guard and caused him to stop in his tracks. His voice was quiet when he said, “What do you mean?”

“Remus didn’t make me. You did, Roman,” Not-Virgil continued, “You wanted me so badly so here I am. Consciously or not, you created me so we could be together, so I could please you. Let me please you, Roman.” His voice was barely a whisper now, hot and needy.

Roman swallowed heavily, mind muddled with conflicting emotions. Confusion at the whole situation, disgust and shame for himself, and still that simmering arousal settled deep inside him at the sight of Virgil in such sexy clothing practically begging for him, real or not.

Too caught up in his mind to notice, Not-Virgil had creeped up to him, snapping him out of his trance as the construct placed one hand on his chest, the other cradling his face. Their faces were inches apart and Roman was frozen in place, so desperately wanting to give in, but too filled with shame to do so.

“Please? I want you so bad, my prince. I’m all yours. I know you want it too so please just fuck me, I need it!” He cried softly, beginning to squirm as he desperately rolled his hips against Roman’s, whose own twitched in return. Roman was already half-hard and couldn’t deny how badly he wanted it as well. This Virgil was right; the imagination did have a habit of acting on both creativities’ subconscious and now that he really thought about it, Roman was almost surprised something like this hadn’t happened sooner.

Surely because it's not real, it would be fine, right? It would be no different from masterbating while thinking about Virgil which he already did often. Maybe if he was lucky, fucking his feelings out would reduce them to a much more manageable state! Roman tried to reason with himself all while his hands hovered just over “Virgil’s” hips and said emo mouthed at Roman’s neck, waiting for a response.

Roman pulled away with a frustrated groan and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Okay, fine. I’m horny, the imagination seems to think I need this, and maybe it’s right. This… it’s only weird if I make it weird, right… Virgil?” He asked mostly to himself, but he saw how a new hunger sparked in Virgil’s eyes before the scantily-clad man threw himself at the prince.

Their lips crashed together in an aggressive and needy kiss, moans escaping each of them. Virgil’s arms wrapped around Romans neck, hands reaching into his hair to tug and scratch at his scalp. The creative side growled into the kiss, biting his partner’s lip and grabbing him by the thighs, prompting him to jump and wrap his legs around Roman’s waist, so the prince could carry them to his bed.

Even as Virgil collapsed on the bed, their lips never separated, Roman falling with him. He let out noises that wouldn’t be out of place in an over-the-top porno and made Roman blush madly, thankful his room was soundproof.

However, Virgil wasn’t content in just making out and grinding against his partner. Soon his mouth traveled down the prince’s neck, biting harshly before pressing gentle kisses on the same spot as though in apology. Roman moaned and his nails scratched lightly down Virgil’s body. He could feel the other’s hands trail down his own body, grasping at the bottom of his shirt and tugging it upwards.

Roman took the hint and quickly pulled his shirt over his head, immediately moving to do the same for Virgil. The emo reached for Roman’s belt as soon as his hands were free, not waiting a moment longer to remove his lover’s pants.

Both sides were breathing heavily with some whimpers and groans dispersed throughout. Roman even let out a high pitched whine as he slowly pushed Virgil's purple skirt up and dragged the red lacy underwear down his thick thighs. He didn’t even bother removing the skirt, content to fuck Virgil in it.

The idea of Virgil wearing his color, sending the clear message that he belonged to Roman sent his mind reeling. Even as he mourned having to toss the lingerie to the side, Roman took solace in the fact that Virgil still had the deep red collar that he would give anything to see the real Virgil in.

He was soon drawn away from all thoughts of real and fake Virgils as the one in front of him flipped them unexpectedly, leaving Roman beneath his smirking partner. The cocky expression he wore was just so Virgil, Roman couldn’t help but sigh dreamily, completely enamored.

Virgil began to kiss down his chest, stopping at his nipples to take one into his mouth. The prince cried out at the sensation, arching his back in response. Virgil only snickered before continuing his path downward and slowly peeling his partner’s underwear off with lidded eyes and hot breath. Roman’s cock sprang from its confines, causing him to gasp quietly. He bit his lip and Virgil’s fingers caressed dick with feather-light touches that became firmer as if in awe of the man before him.

The dark side’s tongue flicked out, licking Roman’s tip as he stroked him. He slowly took Roman into his mouth, clearly intent on teasing if the sinful look in his eyes was anything to go by. Bit by bit, Virgil swallowed around him until the tip touched his throat with no hint of a gag reflex.

By now, the creative side had one hand on Virgil’s head and the other in a fist where he bit his knuckles in an attempt to keep quiet. The hand keeping Virgil where he was tightened, fingers curling around his hair in a slight tug. The simple gesture caused the dark side to moan loudly, eyes rolling back slightly, and the vibrations from his throat to go straight to Roman’s dick whose knuckles did nothing to hide the shout of pleasure that escaped him.

Virgil was really working to drive his partner crazy now. He bobbed his head, tongue running over the cock in his mouth in the best way possible. Occasionally, he would tease the head, running his tongue over the slit, or just barely grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin, making Roman’s toes curl. The sight of his crush like this was enough to get him off alone so needless to say, his grip on Virgil’s hair soon tightened as he gasped in warning of his imminent release.

But before he could cum down that gorgeous throat that hadn’t been marked nearly enough for Roman’s liking, Virgil pulled away. Where Roman had been strung tight as a wire before, as soon as the overwhelming sensations stopped, all the tension in his body released, still reeling from being right on the edge, but not given the final push he needed.

“You didn’t think this was gonna be over that quickly, did you?” Virgil teased, licking his lips with a heated expression, “I want you inside me, Roman, need to feel you. Don’t even need to prep, baby, I’m ready. Been waiting for this for so long.”

Roman nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak. They both maneuvered so that Roman was back on top, his cock grinding against Virgil’s hole before lubing up and pressing in, all while nipping and kissing the pale neck before him. Roman groaned at the warm pressure enveloping his cock and squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the pleasure and the breathy moans coming from his partner.

Virgil’s hands scrambled to claw at Roman’s back, desperate to get as close as possible. Roman set a quick pace, unsure of how long he would be able to last and determined to bring his partner with him. His hands found Virgil's hips and his mouth found his lips in a dirty kiss. They panted into each other’s mouths, unable to keep their noises to themselves, but refusing to part until their lungs ached.

When he pulled away, Roman took a moment to admire the sight in front of him. Virgil’s flushed skin was gorgeous and the way he bit his lip made Roman want to bite it himself. His head was tipped back as angelic pleas and moans poured from his mouth in a symphony that intermingled with Roman’s own sounds. The skirt that still remained pushed up around Virgil’s waist bounced with the force of the prince’s thrusts, the movement of the delicate fabric a wonderful sensation against each of their bodies. Roman’s eyes flickered up to the red choker wrapped tightly around the pale neck, now mottled with bruises.

That little splash of red on his partner, signifying ownership, made Roman growl and double his efforts. Virgil was his, even if it was just for these fleeting few moments. That thought alone had a new rush of arousal coursing through his veins and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

Moving one of his hands from where he gripped Virgil’s hip, Roman began stroking his lover’s dick in time with his thrusts to bring him closer to the edge. He bit down hard on Virgil’s neck, leaving behind teeth marks and turning the skin there a gorgeous shade of red as the bruises began to set in. Virgil's cries grew louder and his hips bucked to meet Roman’s.

Roman couldn’t hold back any longer and came inside Virgil with a long groan, grinding his cock deeper as he rode out his orgasm. Virgil’s eyes fluttered shut when he felt Roman fuck him through his orgasm and warm cum spill inside him. His ass tightened around Roman’s cock, causing the prince to let out a choked whine.

Even as he reached his peak, Roman never once let his partner feel neglected, still stroking his cock until it became too much to bear and Virgil came too. His orgasm was unbelievably physical, hips thrusting wildly and hands grabbing at Roman wherever they could. His toes curled and eyes squeezed shut as his whole body tensed, cum squirting from his cock onto his and Roman’s stomachs.

Roman finally pulled out when Virgil finished and his body fell pliant once more. The creative side collapsed onto the bed next to his partner who seemed to already be on the verge of sleep. He waved his hand, using mindscape magic to will away the mess they had created, and wrapped his arms around Virgil who, in turn, snuggled closer and Roman swore he let out a purr.

Closing his eyes, the prince let his breathing even out, letting himself relax with Virgil’s head on his chest. Warm and content, they fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

***

When Roman woke up, the first thing he noticed was that his bed was empty. Pushing aside his disappointment, he got up and realized he had slept through the whole night and was now likely late for breakfast. Distantly, he hoped that his thoughts and feelings surrounding Virgil would be less of a nuisance now that he had… expressed some of them.

Unfortunately, he had no such luck. As soon as he heard three hard knocks at his door and deep grumbling voice still drenched in sleep, Roman knew he was more screwed than ever.

“Hey, Princey, you comin’ to breakfast or what? Pat’s makin’ pancakes so get your royal ass down to the kitchen already,” Virgil mumbled.

Roman had no idea how he was going to face Virgil after yesterday. He could only act like nothing happened and pray he never sees Not Virgil again… even if deep down he really, really wanted to experience it again. Just, preferably, with the real thing next time.

[howam-i-theparent]

Logan headcanons!

second one to “form”, as curiosity tho, not logic (You know how babies try to eat everything trying to figure out what it is? That was Logan)

latter was renamed to “Brain” when Thomas started to do more long term learning/memory stuff

Has a library of all of Thomas’s memories in the mindscape, and each night while Thomas is dreaming, organizes it into “long term”, “short term” and “discard”, for any memories that are unnecessary.

Their library is open to all of the sides, Patton uses it to look through old memories (stored like scrap books/photo albums) for nostalgia. Roman + Remus use it to pick out bits and pieces for dream Ideas. Virgil sometimes looks through the most recent memories (or sometimes really old ones), and causes Thomas to get less sleep, Logan tries to calm Virgil down with more realistic views on the events, or tries to navigate Virgil to less important mistakes to fret over so any major things can be ignored for the time being.

Agender/Aromantic/Asexual/Autistic (me? Projecting? Never), and does not understand why they would ever need to follow any of the “normal” ways of doing things, they are a side after all, not an actual human, but will try to be a near perfect reflection of Thomas, in the mentality of “I am a part of Thomas, so I need to be as close to Thomas as possible”

They/Them pronouns (but allows Roman and Remus to come up with some neopronouns to use for them (they are allowed to veto anything they don’t like tho))

Knows how to walk in heels that would make Barbie herself trip (no one knows how they are able to do this (maybe not even themself))

Their main goal in life is “Making Thomas as efficient as possible without causing burnout” for this reason, they try to maintain healthy relationships with all of the other sides, so things can run as smoothly as possible.

With Patton, they usually bake together, but not cooking. (Baking is an exact form, cooking is more “try and see what happens”, therefore baking is like chemistry, something Logan can understand)

With Roman, they usually work on scripts together, but if no work is needed to be worked on, they both share Mythology stories (Roman likes the story parts, Logan I’d fascinated with how they used those myths to explain natural phenomena)

With Virgil, they are quite content with just sitting in the same room and vibing (Logan usually does research/read, and Virgil is usually napping w/ headphones in, or scrolling through memes)

With Janus, they will have “debates” about real-world going on’s, and possibilities of how Thomas would need to respond. (They usually just bounce off of each-other with similar ideas, there is not much disagreement most times)

With Remus, Remus is very willing test subject for more of Logan’s more “dark” curiosity’s, mostly human experiments and explosions (Remus would try to make real to life simulations in the imagination, in cording to Logan’s instructions)

Logan actually recognizes that empathy is needed to make a solid and logical argument, but is trying to help Thomas understand that he should not allow every single decision to be overwhelmed with emotion.

Logan struggles with regulation of emotions themself, where most may think that they do not care about something, they actually care very much, and has trouble expressing that. But also, sometimes they will have an outburst of emotions, which leave the others confused because “why was such a small thing, such a big deal?” (Logan feels immensely bad afterwards and tried to avoid the problem/topic)

The other sides do recognize that Logan feels very passionate about some things, and try not to interfere (Crofters for one, but will also allow them to talk about their special interests (stars/space) when Logan finally does get around to talking about it)

Doesn’t watch a lot of TV (not because “it rots your brain”, they just find that most action/romance/emotion driven plot to be frustrating) but they will watch documentaries for hours, and forget other things around them if the documentary is not interrupted in some way. (The others were very concerned about them when they watched the entirety of Planet Earth in one sitting)

They can feel all of the injuries that Thomas gets, to the full extent, but is not affected by “imaginary” injuries (The Remus episode, do I need to say more?)

Sometimes just needs to be alone for a bit, just being in their room, reading, doing research, working, watching documentaries, sleeping ect.

Tries to follow the “perfect” sleep schedule, as an example for Thomas, but gets easily wrapped up in work or a book, and that causes them to stay up latter than they intended.

Their favorite comfort food is of course crofters, but also enjoys goldfish, orange popsicles, and cantaloupe.

Their unicorn onesie was a gift from Patton that slowly turned into a comfort object, they sleep in it every night when it’s not too hot (will turn up the air conditioning and fans in their room, just to be able to sleep in it), and will get frustrated when they can’t wear it to bed (curse the Florida weather)

When the sides started making small changes to their appearances, they got a bit taller, and their hair got darker, as well as their eyes turning a dark blue color. (They use contact lenses while filming, and the perspective+ lighting causes the other changes to not be that noticeable)

Also has a light blanket at the foot of their bed that is navy blue with different constellations with their names on it.

That’s all for now, may or may not do more latter