#and mac's mom is asleep the entire time

[badn3w]

I love the idea that Mac and Charlie had to take these pictures of each other and were probably hyping each other up about how badass they looked

[smileysuh]

night terror

🌙 staring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. As much as you love being a mother, you think some of your favorite moments might just happen when the kids are asleep. Seeing Seungcheol with Hana and Daehyun is one of the great joys of your life, but you have needs too, and after a long day, you really need something to help you relax.

tw/cw. unprotected sex, bathroom sex, mirror sex, dirty talk, praise, fingering, blow job, deep throating, mentions of masochism, loud sex, your kid hearing you scream during sex and then your husband lies to her and says it's night terrors when really it's him - he's the night terror, etc… I pet names: (hers) princess.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 4.2k

🍭 aus. rich businessman cheol, husband cheol, established relationship, father cheol, stay at home mom reader, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. i need a rich husband sugar daddy and i need him now

There had been a time in his life when Seungcheol had thought he might never settle down. As a busy businessman, he’d never been able to comprehend how it would be possible to factor a wife - let alone children - into his schedule. But then, one summer afternoon, he’d met you, and all his fears had vanished.

His previous relationships had been marred with accusations about his lack of making time, and he’d been ready to repeat the same issues with you. However, the conflicts never came. You were a strong, capable, young woman, and as the first months of you flew by blissfully, Seungcheol had realized you accepted him for him, work and all. If anything, distance made the heart grow fonder, and when you were together, you both gave each other your complete attention, nurturing the relationship in a way that he’d never had a relationship truly nurtured before. 

Six months in, he’d asked you to marry him, and it was the most confident he’d ever been with a decision in his entire life. When you’d gotten pregnant, only a short while after your honeymoon, the two of you had sat down to discuss what being parents would look like. You’d both been committed to giving your children the best lives possible going forward, and - knowing he’d be around less than a dad with a different, less demanding job - Seungcheol had asked if you’d be interested in the stay-at-home life.

It’s been five years since then, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where Seungcheol has questioned his decisions with you. He comes home at erratic times in the evening, but he always finds you excelling at motherhood. 

He truly doesn’t know how you do it and make it look easy. You have such a gentle way with not only the kids, but him as well, and he almost feels as if you were meant for this role. You’re a caregiver, through and through, and Seungcheol thinks he must be one of the luckiest men in the whole world to be able to fulfill the provider counterpart. 

It’s a Monday evening, and he’s managed to get off work early. When he arrives at your large family home, he follows the sound of giggles to the kitchen. This room has been the heart of your house ever since the kids were old enough to follow you around it like ducklings, watching you cook with eyes full of wonder - he thinks they must get that trait from him at least. 

He leans against the wall while he watches you, taking in the vision in front of him. It’s mac and cheese night, a long-held tradition in your household, wherein you help the kids make the base, and allow them to choose their favorite toppings to go in the ramekins before oven baking. 

The elder of your children, Daehyun, is more adventurous, and it looks like you’re helping him saute a pan of mushrooms on the gas stove top. Even while dealing with the hot element, and a little boy grabbing at your apron while teetering on his cooking step stool, you’re giving just as much attention to your youngest. 

Hana is the apple of Seungcheol’s eye, and - bless her heart - she’s a cheese fiend. There must be five different kinds of cheese on the counter, and you’re softly talking to her while she struggles to grate a small block of what looks to be gruyere. 

“You’re doing so well,” you tell your daughter. “Give mommy just a moment and she’ll help you grate the last of it. I don’t want you hurting your hands.”

“Okay, mama,” Hana nods, setting the cheese down before leaning over to watch you stir the pan. 

“Do you want to try a mushroom, sweetheart?” you ask, picking one out of the pan to taste for yourself. “They’re very good.”

Hana’s always been better at trying new things if you or Seungcheol go first, and the businessman finds himself smiling while he watches the soft moment.

“Okay,” Hana says, but she doesn’t sound too sure. 

“It’s a little hot, so I’m going to put it on the cutting board to cool before either of you taste it, okay?” You lift a few mushrooms from the sizzling pan, setting them down and gently blowing away the steam. “Let me know if these are good, Daehyun, or if you’d like me to cook them a little longer to make them more crispy.”

The three of you are so wrapped up in your own little world, and Seungcheol supposes the soft classical music in the background had drowned out the sound of his footfalls as he’d approached. He decides it’s a good time to make his presence known, so he moves into the room, coming to stand on the other side of the island countertop.

“Look at you three chefs,” he muses.

“Daddy!” His children scream, with Daehyun jumping from his stool to run around the table and hug Seungcheol around the waist. Hana, meanwhile, still needs help getting down from the steps, and Seungcheol watches you lift the small child to set her on the floor so she can join her brother on the other side of Seungcheol. 

“It smells good,” Seungcheol tells you, smiling at you as he rubs the backs of his children.

“We were just trying mushrooms!” Daehyun announces, releasing Seungcheol in favour of running to you to grab the food before dashing back to his dad, holding his hand out. 

Seungcheol accepts the mushroom, and he tries it, letting out an embellished groan. “These are great,” he says, which prompts both children to try them too.

“Perfect!” Daehyun agrees.

Seungcheol watches you turn off the heat under the pan, moving to finish grating the gruyere for Hana. “How was work, my love?” you ask.

“Fine,” he sighs, not wanting to think about his job in a moment like this. “I couldn’t miss mac and cheese night. How were things around here?”

“Hana, why don’t you tell daddy about preschool?” you suggest, moving a pan of preprepared pasta bake ramekins on a tray to the island counter. 

“We did art!” Hana says proudly. “Made something for you.”

“Really?” Seungcheol loves receiving drawings from his kids. “Want to go grab it for me?”

You’re two steps ahead of him, even while cooking, and you reach behind yourself to grab a piece of paper from the fridge. You hold it out to Seungcheol, and he takes it from you, smiling widely as he looks at the image.

“It’s our family,” Hana explains, although, with the dad character holding a briefcase and dressed in a suit, Seungcheol thinks it would be impossible for him to think it’s anything else.

“I love it, you’re going to be an artist one day,” he tells her, reaching down to pick her up, tucking her by his hip. “And how about you, Daehyun? How was soccer practice?”

“Mommy picked me up after school and she had veggie snacks which weren’t that good but I ate them anyways, and we did practice and I scored goals-” Seungcheol loves how his son rambles, and he listens patiently while Daehyun describes finding a coin on the field that he can add to his collection of treasures he’s picked up throughout his life.

By the time the story is finished, you’ve already put the mac and cheese in the oven, and you’re standing with your palms on the counter, watching Seungcheol interact with his children. There’s a gentle smile on your face, your eyes lit up with affection.

Seungcheol is drawn to you, and he walks around the island, Hana still tucked on his hip. “Hi,” he says softly, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “How was mommy’s day?”

“Good,” you respond. “Hana and I went to a greenery after preschool to get some new plants for the garden.”

“Oh yeah?” Seungcheol looks down at his daughter. “Did you two find anything nice?”

“Mommy got me a bouquet of tulips,” Hana confirms. 

“We also got a few more lavender bushes and some rosemary,” you add. “She played with bubbles while I planted them, and then we went to get Daehyun for soccer. A few of his friends came over with their moms after that to play in the pool, and then we started mac and cheese.”

“Sounds like a full day,” Seungcheol nods. He’s constantly in awe of how you juggle both kids, house maintenance, a social life, and cooking. 

“The kids are tuckered out,” you say, reaching out to brush some hair from Hana’s face. “They were thinking we could watch some Disney movies after dinner before bed.”

“Well we can’t say no to that, can we,” Seungcheol smiles. 

“No, we can’t,” you agree. “Daehyun, the mac and cheese is in the oven, should we start on a salad?”

“Do we have to?” he asks.

“Greens are an important part of a healthy diet,” you remind the little boy who’s always had problems with his veggies. “How about you help me choose what type of salad to make?”

“Can we have the one with lots of cheese?” Hana questions.

Seungcheol loves his little cheese fiend, he loves his family, and most of all, he loves that he gets to share it with you every day.

After being filled up with hot mac and cheese, the kids had fallen asleep less than thirty minutes into their movie. Seungcheol had carried them to bed, double checking to make sure they were tucked in all right, and now, he heads into your shared room, closing the soundproof doors behind him.

“I’ve said it already, but I’ll say it again, dinner was great,” he tells you, as he heads to his closet to begin removing his button-up shirt. “Even the salad was good, I haven’t seen Daehyun eat that many greens in months.” 

“He’s warming up to them,” you smile, coming up behind your husband to give him a hug from behind, your cheek pressed to his back. “We were all happy you were there to eat with us. I know work has been busy, so I wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

“And miss mac and cheese night?” Seungcheol scoffs. “Not even Jeon Wonwoo himself could keep me from that.”

You laugh at the mention of his business partner. “He can join next time, if he has the time. Hana misses Uncle Woo.”

“That's because he dotes on her.”

“As if you don’t.” 

“We all do, she’s a special kid, that one.”

“They both are,” you muse. “Daehyun downplayed it, but he was doing really well in practice. Coach says he has some real talent. Apparently he can’t shut up about the way that you take him to games twice a month in box seats. I think it’s making a huge difference.”

“That’s good to hear,” Seungcheol smiles. 

“Anyways, enough about our days,” you sigh. “Do you need a shower?”

“Why? Do I smell?” Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.

“No, I was just thinking I might have one, and maybe you’d like to join me.”

Seungcheol groans. “Well, now I definitely need a shower.”

“Perfect.” You pull away from his back, reaching down to take off your shirt as you head to the bathroom. “I’ll see you in there, daddy.” 

As much as you love being a mother, you think some of your favorite moments might just happen when the kids are asleep. Seeing Seungcheol with Hana and Daehyun is one of the great joys of your life, but you have needs too, and after a long day, you really need something to help you relax. 

You turn the shower on, and as the spa-like bathroom fills with steam, you undo your pants. You’re slipping out of the fabric when Seungcheol joins you. His large form gently presses against your back, and his lips find your shoulder. His hands smooth down your arms softly, and he presses his crotch against your bum, showing you how turned on he is.

“You look so beautiful today,” he tells you.

“And you look as sexy as ever,” you respond, smiling while leaning back against his bare chest. 

“I do, do I?” You feel him grin where he’s kissing your neck, and you rest the back of your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of him. “Guess this means we’re a match made in heaven.”

You love when he sweet-talks you like this, and when his hand slips down your abdomen to cup your pussy, you let out a groan of pleasure. “Should we go in the shower?”

“The shower can wait,” Seungcheol states, “and these panties have to come off.”

“You got it, daddy.” You hook your fingers in the waistband, pushing them down so his eager fingers can touch you directly. The contact has you shivering, and he begins to circle your clit. 

“How did I ever get so lucky with you?” he asks, teasing you while he grinds against your ass.

“I ask myself the same question every day,” you confess, whimpering when one of his large fingers slips into your core. 

“I think I’m the lucky one,” Seungcheol tells you, sucking on the sweet spot on your throat that always makes your entire body react. 

“Agree to disagree,” you whisper, consumed by the feeling of his fingers as he adds a second one, working you open. 

“It’s torture spending a whole day without being able to touch you,” your husband confesses, as he applies pressure to your clit with his palm.

You know exactly how he feels, and although you’re leaning into his touch, allowing him to be the one exploring your form, you know your patience will run dry soon. You need his cock, more than you’ve ever needed anything in your life.

It’s tantalizing, having his large bulge rubbing against your ass while he finger fucks you closer and closer to a release that’s always much too easy for him to earn. 

You turn your head to the side, reaching behind yourself to tangle your fingers in his hair, bringing his lips to your own. 

After all these years, Seungcheol knows your body inside and out. There are no words that need to be spoken as he gets you closer and closer to your high, only whimpered moans and groans of pleasure as you remain lip-locked.

Your first orgasm overtakes you, and you gasp into the kiss, wiggling your hips for more stimulation while he helps you through it. His free hand is on your waist, and he aids in your motions, which only adds to your pleasure.

“Cheol-” you whisper.

“I know, darling, I know,” he presses his forehead to yours, finishing you off before removing his hand from between your legs. He quickly sucks your juices off his digits before working on your bra, which falls off to join your clothes on the floor.

You turn in his embrace, palms flat to his chest so you can push him back until his bum hits the edge of the sink. “I wanna suck you off,” you tell him, feeling confident and as needy as ever.

“Fuck, I love it when you use that sweet, pretty mouth of yours to say the dirtiest things,” Seungcheol groans, large hands moving down to work on his belt while you sink to your knees on the tiled floor.

“You had a long day,” you tell him, knowing every day is long for the successful businessman, “I just want to make you feel good.”

“You always make me feel good,” he smiles, pushing his pants down so his cock can be released. 

Wasting no time, you wrap your hand around the base, taking one last look up at him to muse, “Well, I want to make you feel great,” before your mouth finds his large cock. 

The sounds he makes during sex have always been a huge turn-on for you, and the groans he lets out as you suckle on the head of his cock are like angels singing. You close your eyes, leaning into the act of pleasuring the man you love most in the world. 

His gentle hand finds your head, and he helps you blow him, taking more of him into your mouth while your hand pumps the base.

“You’re so good,” he whispers. “So fucking good for me.” 

You groan at the praise, and it makes his hips twitch, cock slipping into the back of your throat.

When you’d first been together, you hadn’t been used to the sensation, but after all this time together, you’ve become accustomed to it. In fact, you even kind of enjoy it when he throat-fuckes you, in some odd masochistic kind of way.

He’s slow with it, and you know he’s watching you carefully for any signs that he should let up on you. With you focused on your breathing and relaxing your throat, he never has to actually pull away. You listen to his sounds of pleasure grow, his grip tightening in your hair. 

“Fuck,” he groans, gently pulling you off his cock. “I need you.” 

He helps you to your feet and in one motion, he lifts you up and sets you on the sink, slotting between your legs. Your hands find his strong shoulders while he guides his cock to your pussy. His lip is caught between his teeth in concentration, and your heart swells with love for your husband.

The head of his cock slips into you and you both groan. 

“You’re wound up, darling,” he muses as he sinks a few more inches into you, test thrusting so your wet juices can cover his length and make it easier for you both. “Are you sure you don’t need some more of my fingers?”

“No,” you hold his strong shoulders tighter, “I just need you.”

“Yeah?” he leans in, pressing his lips to yours while his hands find your hips, one slipping to gently cup the small of your back. “Are you still my needy princess?”

It had been the first true pet name that stuck when you’d started dating, and even after all these years, it still makes a tingle run up your spine.

“Yes, Cheol, you feel so good-”

His thrusts have his cock sinking fully inside of you now, and you can’t help the way your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your body is alight with pleasure, and you truly can't help the sounds that are escaping past your lips.

You try your best to be quiet with Cheol most nights, but your kids are asleep. On top of that,  there’s a soundproof bedroom door, a bathroom door and a shower running to muffle your noises, so you figure now is as good a time as any to let loose a little.

“God, I love it when you get loud for me,” Seungcheol groans, leaning forward to pepper your throat in kisses while you lace your fingers through his soft hair. 

Each thrust has his cock hitting a spot deep inside of you, and you can feel tension building in your abdomen, a sign of another orgasm on its way.

“You look so perfect like this,” your husband muses. Suddenly, he’s pulling away from you. “I want you to see.” 

You moan in annoyance as he pulls out of you, dragging you off the countertop so he can turn you around, facing the steamed mirror. You bend over the sink, letting out a whine when he slips inside of you again, leaning forward with his chest pressed to your back while he wipes a hand along the reflective surface. 

You can see yourself now, and you look completely fucked out. 

Cheol grins behind you, and you love how the reflection showcases how much larger than you he is. With your smaller form in front of him, his shoulders are visible on either side of your own, and his height makes your pussy clench around him.

“Told you it was sexy,” Seungcheol muses, leaning forward again to press his lips to your shoulder. “I want you to watch as I make you cum.”

You’re not entirely sure you’ll be able to keep your eyes open, but you nod all the same, eager to please him as he begins to fuck you again. Each thrust has your hips pressing to the marble sink top, and it hurts a little, but the pain is pleasure.

You groan, panting as you watch Seungcheol fuck you from behind through the mirror.

He truly is a vision. each slap of his hips against your ass has your breasts bouncing too-

Steam is quickly covering the mirror again, and you reach out a shaky hand to wipe it away, intent on doing your best to follow through with his command.

“Cheol,” you whimper, his thrusts getting faster, harder- 

“That’s it,” he groans. “Let me hear you.” 

Your sounds are getting louder and louder as the tension in your stomach builds- and when Seungcheol licks two fingers, slipping his hand down your front to play with your clit, the noises of pleasure become uncontrollable. 

“Gonna cum for me, princess?” he asks, breath hot against your throat.

Everything feels so intense, the steam in the room adding to your heightened senses, and you nod quickly. You can’t find it in yourself to speak, you can only grab the sink as an anchor while your husband works you to the edge-

“I’m there too,” Seungcheol assures you. “Cum with me.” 

The sound that escapes you as your pussy clamps down on his cock is almost inhuman, and you struggle to keep your eyes open, gazing at your own fucked out expression through the mirror while Seungcheol rides out your highs.

His head is thrown back, throat all gorgeous and on display- 

You love him a stupid amount, and it only makes your core throb harder around his cock while he fills you up with his cum. 

It doesn’t help that his fingers are still on your clit, and you twitch from oversensitivity, letting out another loud cry. Seungcheol’s eyes open, as if he hadn’t even realized what he was still doing, too lost in the feeling of your throbbing cunt- he’s quick to pull his hand away, resting it on your hip as his thrusts begin to slow.

“Fuck,” he groans, “that was good.” 

His lips find your shoulder, and you both do your best to slow your heavy breathing. 

“Now I really need that shower,” you joke, earning a chuckle from the man still inside of you.

“Let's do it,” he says, giving you one last kiss before he pulls out of you.

He grabs your hand, helping you to the shower-

“Shit, did you hear that?” His head turns towards the closed door.

“I didn’t hear anything,” you tell him.

“No, listen, there it is again-” Seungcheol lets go of your hand, and he quickly grabs his robe, wrapping it around his naked body. He opens the bathroom door. “Shit, we woke up one of the kids. I’ll be right back.”

He exits the bathroom, shutting you inside behind him as he tightens his robe, rushing to the large soundproof bedroom doors. When he opens them, he finds Hana standing there, her stuffed teddy in her arms.

“Is Mama okay?” she asks, looking up at him like she’s on the verge of tears.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Seungcheol is quick to sink to his knees, wrapping his daughter in a hug. “You know she gets night terrors sometimes. It was just a bad dream, but I got a shower started for her and she should be okay.”

“Are you sure?” Hana asks, wiping at her eyes.

Seungcheol releases her, taking a look at her face and helping her clear the tear tracks with his thumb. “Yes, love, mama is fine. Here, let me get you back to bed.”

He picks up his daughter, carrying her back to her room. She settles in alright, and with a quick kiss to her forehead and a goodnight, Seungcheol leaves her be. He’s in a rush to get back to you, and as he enters your room and ensuite bathroom, shrugging off his robe, he finds you in the shower.

“I swear that kid has super hearing,” he muses softly, joining you under the water spray and pulling your body tight to his own.

“Maybe our soundproof bedroom door isn’t as soundproof as we thought,” you suggest. “Did you tell her it was night terrors again?”

“That seems to be the company line, doesn’t it?” Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle. He feels a little bad that the lie has gone on for two years already, but what else is he supposed to say to a kid who just heard her mother screaming?

“Hey, Night Terror,” you tug him closer, “you look lost in thought. What’s on your mind?”

Seungcheol sighs. “Just that maybe we need to invest in some good earplugs for the kids.”

You laugh, snuggling close to his chest while he wraps you in his arms. “Darling, I love the way you think.”

☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! sometimes we all just need a short, sweet, established relationship sugar daddy/ A+ actual dad Cheol in our lives, you know?

🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 

🔮 preview.  “Fuck the house, I want you here. Now.” You don’t waste another second, grabbing his face and crashing your lips against his. His own hands find your hips, and within moments he’s pulling you onto his lap, growling into the kiss. It’s clear from the way that he’s touching you that he has no objections to fucking in the hot tub.

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, exhibitionism, fucking in a hot tub, dry/wet humping, multiple reader orgasms, sensory stuff with the hot tub and heat, breast worship, fingering, cheol using her like a fleshlight, manhandling, some dirty talk, praise, breeding kink, finger sucking,. I petnames. (hers) princess.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.9k I teaser wc. 300

🌙 staring.Cheol x afab!Reader

bonus

“Uncle Woo!” Hana lights up as one of her favorite people enters the house, and Wonwoo returns her smile, dropping onto one knee to embrace her.

“Hey, Hana,” he grins.

“They told us we were sleeping over with you but I almost didn’t believe it!” Hana raves.

“I got the guest room all set up for you two,” Wonwoo says, standing up while holding your daughter to his chest. His gaze shifts to Daehyun. “Uncle Mingyu and Uncle Vernon are going to pop by for a bit too, they’ve been missing watching soccer with you. I’ve got the game from earlier recorded, you could have some boys' time while I play princesses with Hana.”

God. You love Wonwoo. He’s the best uncle you could have asked for concerning your kids. It’s clear Seungcheol thinks the same, his grip tightening around you while his smile widens. You all watch Hana joyfully rant about playing princesses, and Daehyun is even smiling at the thought of spending time with his favorite uncles.

“Do you two have any special plans for tonight?” Wonwoo asks when there’s a lull in the conversation. 

It’s your anniversary tonight, and you definitely have special plans, but none you can discuss in front of the kids.

“Mostly just taking her out for dinner,” Seungcheol says, which is only half a lie as he turns to gaze at you with hearts in his eyes.

“Nothing too extreme,” you agree, patting his chest. 

Wonwoo gives you a look that tells you he sees through your bluff, but your kids are none the wiser, and - as it is with your ‘night terrors’ - at the end of the day, a few white lies to protect their innocence doesn’t hurt anybody.

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[munson-blurbs]

Tui request?? Eddie gains a little weight after the baby is born and Ms heart looks amazing post baby and Eddie becomes sort of self conscious and Mrs sweet heart shows Eddie how much she loves his dad bod

Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries

Summary: When Eddie starts feeling insecure about his newfound dad bod, you make sure to prove how sexy you think he is.

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), oral (m! receiving), p in v, breeding kink, Reader breastfeeds (no lactation kink), mention of weight gain and a "junk food diet"

WC: 1.7k

A/N: Thank you to @jo-harrington for helping me with the pacing and to @corroded-hellfire for help with the dialogue!

Eddie Munson thought you were stunning the night you met at the Hideout. On your wedding day, he surmised that he was marrying the prettiest woman in the world. And when you got pregnant with Hendrix—especially once your bump became more prominent—he’d sworn up and down that you couldn’t possibly get more beautiful if you tried. 

That statement, of course, is easily refuted by his current sight of you with six-month-old Hendrix nestled into your chest. You gently move the rocking chair back and forth as the baby drinks from your breast, your shirt hiked up so he can easily latch onto your nipple. You wince slightly as he suckles, though it isn’t nearly as painful as when you’d first begun nursing him. 

“He’s getting so chunky,” you muse, running your finger over the roll that’s formed on his little wrist. You look at your husband to gauge his reaction, your smile fading when you see his distant expression. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” It’s a blatant lie, and you both know it. 

You sigh, carefully adjusting your position to sit forward a bit. Hendrix is unfazed, too focused on his lunch. “Tell me the truth. You know I always find out, anyway.”

“You’re right,” Eddie agrees with a small laugh. There’s no sense in trying to hide it, not when you can read him like a book. “Guess, um, guess I’ve just been noticing that Hendrix isn’t the only one putting on weight lately.” He looks down at his stomach guiltily.

A delicate frown tugs your lips downward; you notice for the first time that he’s wearing a jacket despite the warm May weather. “So? You’re adjusting to being a father of two. Instead of both of us taking care of only Harris, we now need man-to-man coverage.”

“Yeah, but you’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” he protests. Your pregnancy glow has carried over to a new-mom glow, despite the exhaustion. Christ, you even make sleep deprivation look good. “And you’re the one who had the baby.”

“Eds,” you say softly, the weight of his statement heavy on your shoulders, “you spent my entire pregnancy and this post-partum hell reassuring me that you loved every version of my body. Why wouldn’t I feel the same way about yours?” Hendrix has stopped eating, so you fix your shirt and prop him up to burp him.

He shrugs, cheek pinched between his teeth to stifle emotion. “I dunno, I just…” he exhales long and loud as he searches for the right phrasing. “Your body made life; mine made the decision to eat chicken nuggets and mac ‘n cheese off of Harris’s plate instead of vegetables.”

You offer a hint of a smile at his humor, though his words are laced with true insecurity. “Let me put this little man down for his nap and show you just how incredible that body of yours is.” There’s a mischievous glint in your eyes when you stand, the baby satiated and ready for his midday sleep. Harris is at Charlie’s house for a playdate, which means you and Eddie essentially have the afternoon to yourselves.

Hendrix’s milk-drunk state has him falling asleep quickly, and you take Eddie’s hand and lead him to the bedroom. As soon as the door shuts, your arms are draped over his shoulders, and you press your torso to his. You give his earlobe a little nibble before bringing your lips to his neck.

“You know what I see when I look at you?” you start, letting your hands rest on his biceps. “I see the arms that carry our boys to bed every night.” You leave a delicate kiss on the spot you just mentioned before gently pulling off his shirt. “And your chest is perfect for any of us to rest on.” Another kiss, this one received with a shiver. 

He shakes his head. “‘S not how I used to look,” he responds guiltily. “When I was younger, I lived off of Doritos and Mountain Dew–didn’t gain an ounce. Guess it’s catching up to me now,” he grimaces, giving his belly a little pinch.

You intercept the motion, gently pushing his hands from his stomach. “Did I know I love this tummy most of all?” When he cocks a disbelieving brow, you smile and elaborate. “It reminds me that you don’t have to settle for a junk food diet anymore. We’ve created a little home with safety, love, and delicious food. I mean, you could do some sit-ups, I guess, but…” you shrug, scrunching your nose as you say the words, “I kinda like having a little something extra to hold onto.”

“Really?” He still doesn’t allow himself to fully accept this truth, so you try another method.

“Really,” you affirm, pulling him in for another deep kiss. “I need you,” you growl, your core already flooded with need at the prospect of worshiping him. “Need you so bad.” 

Eddie moans under his breath when you suck a bruise just above his collarbone. His hands grip your hips to tug you even closer, and you can feel him stiffen in his jeans. With a knowing grin, you drop to your knees and leave a hickey right next to his navel. 

“You are,” you mumble against his skin, fingers coaxing open his pants button, “ridiculously sexy. ‘S not fair.” You unzip him, pulling down his jeans and boxers in one swift motion. His erection stands at attention, and you intend to show him plenty of it; but you have one last item on your agenda. “Eds, this ass? God, I could bite it all day.” You giggle as you lean around to sink your teeth into the meat of it, and he yelps in surprise. “Only want you, Eddie,” you say, now looking up into his eyes. “Only ever wanna make you feel good.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Eddie groans, throwing his head back as you flatten your tongue and lick the underside of his shaft. “Thassit; take your time, Sweetheart.”

You take the tip between your lips, swiping at the pre-cum already dripping from it. Slowly, you allow more and more of him in your mouth until your nose brushes his pubic hair. 

“Mhm. Kee-Keep going, mmf, little faster now.” 

You eagerly oblige, swirling your tongue in that way that drives him wild; sure enough, you feel his thigh twitch next to your cheek. You assumed he would finish in your mouth, and you look up at him in confusion when he pulls out of it. 

“I gotta…fuck…gotta be inside that tight pussy of yours.” He grabs himself at the base, eyes begging for you to let him in. 

You shed your clothes and toss them in a heap on the floor, walking towards him and pushing him onto the bed. He grins when you straddle his waist and kiss his lips hungrily. 

“Gonna take care of you tonight, Eds,” you coo, grinding your wet center over the ridges of his cock. “You always make me feel amazing, honey. I wanna return the favor.”

Eddie nods, adjusting his hard-on so you can sink onto it, enveloping him in your warmth. He stretches you perfectly, and you let him know with a pleased moan. 

“Oh, fuck,” he hisses, nails digging into the flesh of your ass. “I’ll never get tired of that feeling.”

“Good,” you smirk, letting him bottom out before you begin moving again. His grip stabilizes you enough to ride him, rolling your hips teasingly. Your lips are beckoned by his chest tattoo, and you plant kisses all over it. “Mine.” You claim him with that one word, and he gives himself to you fully.

You sit back up to bounce on him, his hands reaching for your breasts and gently cupping them. A whine emanates from your throat as he thrusts up into you with more rigor.

“Kiss me?” he pleads, lifting one hand to clasp around the back of your head, bringing your face closer to his. There’s no need to ask twice; you lean in and kiss him passionately, 

As much as you want to take the lead, you can’t deny how incredible it feels when he thrusts upwards. You whine pathetically as he drives his cock deeper within you. 

“Take it so well, Sweetheart,” he grunts, pinning down your thighs. “Got me tempted to knock you up all over again.”

His words have you clenching around him, your breaths shallow. You brace yourself on his chest, moaning out his name. 

“Eddie, your body,” you whimper, unable to complete the sentence. Your mind is too focused on your building orgasm. 

“What about it, honey?”

You take as much of a breath as you can. “Your body makes me feel so fucking good.”

“Prove it,” he growls. “Cum for me. Cum all over my cock.”

Pleasure washes over you, his length brushing against your sweet spot and driving you over the edge. “I-I’m cumming—”

“Mmf, m-me, too—fuck!” Eddie’s eyes roll as he finishes, pumping you full of his release. He pounds into you, draining himself completely. 

You lay on top of him until he whispers in your ear, “Sweetheart? I gotta pull out.” Sure enough, he’s gone completely soft, absolutely spent. 

All you can manage is an mmh, pouting when he withdraws. Eddie laughs kindly and kisses you, one hand cupping your cheek. 

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best wife in the world?” he asks, nose gently nudging yours. “Not just because of all that—which was phenomenal, by the way. Five stars.” You swat at him and he laughs harder. “I feel so…safe when I’m with you.”

Your lips ghost the tip of his nose. “You are safe with me,” you remind him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says, holding you as close as he can. He pauses for a beat before speaking again. “Can I ask you something?”

“‘Course.”

Eddie clears his throat. “That thing about liking when there’s something to, um, ‘hold onto,’” he starts, cheeks filling in pink, “did you mean that?”

It’s your turn to kiss him passionately, lips parted, tongue grazing his. You roll your hips again, fingertips brushing the soft side of his torso. It reignites the fire within him; his cock twitches slightly. 

“Does that answer your question?”

--

[iwannakisskissyoureyesagain]

will solace headcanon time i love my boy

- casual stoner. when he gets breaks from the infirmary, he and drew get weed from behind the dionysus cabin and smoke together. they like to do it on the big house porch because dionysus couldn’t care less—the only reason he doesn’t do it with them is because he’s not sure if it goes against his punishment from zeus—or behind the apollo cabin when chiron’s around. piper has a cart and the two of them take hits from it and talk shit whenever she comes to visit. he doesn’t really smoke around nico though, just because he’s said he doesn’t like the smell (nico doesn’t really care otherwise, since it helps with will’s anxiety), and definitely not around percy because of everything that happened with gabe

- he’s started talking to dionysus about his anxiety, imposter syndrome, and seasonal depression. dionysus wants to talk to him about testing him for mild ocd

- his hair looks like a renaissance painting of patroclus, just blond

- loves his friends so much. he’s their biggest supporter in the entire world and if they didn’t all live at camp, he’d probably try to convince them to all live in a giant house together

- he’s very casually affectionate. he says i love you a lot, but he always means it. hugs and kisses his friends on the cheek. physical touch is his giving love language (he always makes sure he has consent, first, obviously)

- his receiving love language, however, are words of affirmation. he needs to verbally hear that he’s doing a good job—as a friend, as a boyfriend, as a healer, as a son, just in life

- he’s trained himself to be a light sleeper after years of working in the infirmary and becoming head counselor. sometimes his body just wakes himself up in the middle of the night and he has to sit in the infirmary until he’s positive that everything and everyone is fine and he’s literally the only one awake

- similarly, he has a crazy sixth sense of knowing when his stop is if he ever dozes off on public transport, and always wakes up two stops before. he thinks it stems from spending his a lot of his formative years traveling around with his mom while she toured, constantly waking up in new cities

- he iris messages his mom every night and tells her every single detail of his day

- being both a true crime junkie and a medic at a demigod camp, gore has absolutely no affect on him. this boy delivered a baby and has reattached countless limbs; he falls asleep listening to podcasts where twenty-something women talk about serial killers so notorious they have to give a content warning. a Saw trap isn’t going to faze him

- he met maren morris when he was younger and his mom opened for her. he got her signature and is still planning on getting it tattooed, he just hasn’t had a chance

- he has a very high pain tolerance and has a lot of stick-n-pokes, some of which he did himself, including a wonky-looking star that he let nico do and woobeewoo from Adventure Time

- his favorite music artists include kasey musgraves, taylor swift, leith ross, baby fisher, gracie abrams, fiona apple, fleetwood mac, dolly parton, carrie underwood, and troye sivan

- “ribs” by lorde makes him cry

- so does “the bug collector” by haley heynderickx

- he’s terrified of spiders

- he cries when anything at all happens to a dog in a movie. he watched All Dogs Go to Heaven with nico and was a such disaster by the time the credits rolled that the two of them had to sit there for half an hour until he calmed down. he has a core memory of watching Bolt with his mom when he was little and sobbing into her arms at the end. his siblings have expressly forbidden him from ever watching A Dog’s Purpose, for fear that it would literally send him into a deep depression

- kayla literally bought him cargo pants because she was so sick of him wearing shorts in the middle of winter. he’ll never admit it, but they’re his favorite pants he owns

- his fictional crushes are rodrick heffley, both marceline and marshall lee, jennifer check, edward cullen, alice cullen, ella of frell, prince char, nefara de nile, and jade west

- his mom took him to to see a free, outdoors production of Romeo and Juliet when he was twelve and he really liked it. he hates reading, and the combination of dyslexia and shakespeare is interesting to say the least, but he woke up one night missing his mom a lot, and found a copy of the play on one of his siblings’ nightstands, and decided to try reading it for nostalgia’s sake. that lasted about ten minutes. kayla woke up at the crack of dawn to go practice archery alone and found him in the empty infirmary, where he went so he wouldn’t wake anyone up with his glowing, sound asleep in a chair with the book still open in his lap

- it’s easy to forget he’s from texas when you hear his voice after years of living at camp, but a soft southern drawl slips out when he says certain words, and especially when he sings

- his favorite taylor swift eras are debut, fearless, and lover

- he knows how to shoot a gun and has insane aim, much better than when he shoots a bow and arrow. because of this, he feels very strongly about mandating gun laws and safety regulations because he knows firsthand just how dangerous they are. nico has no idea and will’s just waiting for the moment he can surprise him with it

- he has perfect pitch and lowkey doesn’t even realize it

- his handwriting is so atrocious he can’t even read it himself. one time he enlisted nico to take notes for him in the infirmary, but nico’s cursive was almost harder to read than will’s chicken-scratches

- caffeine has almost no affect on him, except maybe spiking his anxiety, but he’s gaslit himself into thinking it keeps him alert

- he’s extremely empathetic, just knows how to put on a brave face

- he has literally no idea how to ask for help. my boy is so used to taking care of everyone that people have to literally beg him to let them help him with work or console him

- he desperately wants a cat

[its-time-to-write]

just a short little Thanksgiving blurb for all my American girlies 🥰🦃

ours

You force yourself back to the present, where your twelve year-old cousin is updating you on the latest middle school drama. 

“…and that’s why boys named Max are a red flag, but dogs named Max are not,” she concludes. 

You giggle and nod appropriately, taking a sip from your drink. The house is filled with the entire family this Thanksgiving and while it’s pleasantly crowded, it still feels like a part of you is missing. 

Your phone is securely in your bag, a tactic to try to keep yourself from replaying highlights from the England match from the previous weekend. Every other WAG got to go support their man, but you were stuck in America with pre-Thanksgiving work. Thanksgiving has only been going on for twenty minutes, and you’re ready to call it and go home. 

International dating is hard.

Your mom can tell, so she’s been giving you tasks to do all day. She must’ve told your grandma or maybe she’s just incredibly observant, because she’s picked up the mantle as well and neither of them give you enough time to be alone with your thoughts. 

It’s nice of them, except now the family’s here and everyone’s asking about your boyfriend. They don’t care that he’s a footballer (in the best way) and they’re all excited for you, but you wish he were here. 

Maybe you can sneak upstairs and call him. 

You do some quick math and realize he should be asleep so you sigh and ask your cousin if she wants to come with you to steal macaroni and cheese. 

She smiles and says, “Yes, duh.”

“It’s going to be tricky,” you warn. “My mom and your mom are going to be on the lookout.”

“I bet Grandpa will sneak us some,” she reminds you. Oh yes, Grandpa would do anything for his granddaughters. 

You grab her hand and weave through aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins and a few other relatives. You’re pretty sure this is the biggest Thanksgiving you’ve ever had. 

You and your cousin successfully get your hands on two bowls of mac and cheese, and slip away to an unoccupied corner to eat it. 

You’re smiling and not thinking about Jamie at all. This is your favorite cousin, the one who’s eleven years younger than you, but you two have been doing dumb shit together since she could talk. 

You’re almost done when someone slides into your space, pressing their arm against yours. Your cousin’s eyes widen as she looks at you and you turn, expecting to see an aunt or god-forbid one of your snitch brothers. 

Instead, you’re met with blue eyes and a familiar smile. 

You choke on your last bite of food as you launch yourself into Jamie’s arms.  

“What are you doing here?” you ask, refusing to let go of him. “You have a match this weekend.”

He shrugs, still smiling. “Ah, you know, gotta be culturally sensitive with my American girlfriend, babe. Milestones and all that.”

You raise an eyebrow. There’s no way Roy let him go with that excuse. 

“Or I might have injured meself at the match last week and am out of training for two weeks,” Jamie says. 

“You’re hurt?” you exclaim. “Why didn’t you call me? Should you have been on a plane? What happened?”

You’ve inadvertently tightened your grip around Jamie’s neck, so he reaches up to remove your hands, still keeping them in his. He lifts them up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. 

“I’m fine. Just my ankle. But I figured, who not come surprise ya?”

“Does my mom know you’re here?”

Jamie’s grin turns cocky. “Called your mum and dad three days ago. I’m staying in their guest room, ain’t I? Got in this morning before you lot showed up.”

Your cousin has been watching this scene a little open-mouthed the whole time. “I wish my boyfriend would do that for me,” she murmurs. 

Your head snaps over to her. “Your what,” you say to her and she holds her hands up defensively. 

“Oh look it’s your English boyfriend who flew all the way to America for Thanksgiving, why don’t you kiss him some more?” she deflects, and Jamie shoots her a wink and tilts your face up for a kiss so your cousin can get away. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you tell him. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to have the BEST time. Get ready to have your mind blown, little British boy.”

“Anything for you, Miss America,” he teases. “Just don’t make me try those mushroom things I saw, looked fucking awful, that.”

You pull a shocked face. “Oh but it’s tradition. Everyone has to suffer through my uncle Darren’s gross stuffed mushrooms at least once. And since you’re new here…” you trail off. 

Jamie grimaces while you giggle and run a hand through his hair. God, you can’t believe he’s here and while you aren’t thrilled he’s injured, maybe it’s not such a bad thing. 

“C’mon,” you say, tugging him to the kitchen. “I want to go yell at mom and dad for not telling me you were coming.”

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 8.5: 007- Peña, Agent Peña

Summary: After Javi's surprise on the Peña ranch, you had already had the best night of your life. Little did you know, your night was just beginning.

Word Count: 4.9K (This is as short as it's ever gonna get, this is just who I am)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up), creampie, praise (oh boy, does Javi tell you what a good job you're doing), semi-public nudity?? (not really, but you'll see!!), mentions of eating/food, mentions of alcohol, mentions of loss of a parent, you and Javi being absolute goofballs and being lovesick idiots

A/N: SO. I finished Chapter 8 and went to go walk my dog, and the song "Would That I" by Hozier came on, and it 100% is the inspiration behind this mini chapter. I literally came up with the idea for this chapter and wrote it in less than 24 hours because Javi and Osita live in my head rent free at all times being the cutest two idiots to ever exist. Enjoy this fun lil bit, it's honestly probably my favorite thing that I've written for this series so far!!!

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“I’m not sure if cold, post sex and first I love you’s is the way that your dad intended us to eat these enchiladas, but holy shit are they delicious.” You and Javi laughed, finishing the last bites of the enchiladas verdes Chucho had packed for the both of you. It probably would have made more sense to eat dinner almost an hour ago when Javi had first taken you out to watch the sunset in the back of his truck, but, no offense to Chucho’s enchiladas, having the most romantic sex of your life followed by Javi telling you that he loved you for the first time seemed to take higher priority to you. 

“These ones are actually pretty good, I will give him that. Thank God he’s finally starting to get better at cooking, a few months ago his food was practically inedible.” Javi shook his head, wiping his face with the back of his hand as gathered both of your cleared paper plates and forks, tossing them into the empty paper bag Chucho had sent them with. 

“Actually? I didn’t know he had come such a long way in his cooking career in such a short time.” You snickered, pulling some of the blankets laying at the edge of the truck bed over you as you scooted yourself closer to Javi, laying your head against his chest as you snuggled next to him. Pulling you closer, Javi wrapped his arm around you, fingers tracing gentle circles along the back of his sweatshirt you were now wearing. 

“Actually. He never cooked until my mom died. One day he called me while I was still in Colombia and told me he had found one of my mom’s recipe books and was gonna teach himself how to cook. When I came home, he insisted on making me dinner every night so he could show off whatever he was learning. I ate a lot of sandwiches after he fell asleep the first few months I was home.” 

“Well despite the terrible food you had to eat, that’s actually really sweet. Glad I came around when I did so I only have to reap the benefits of his good cooking and not suffer along with you.” You giggled as he squeezed you before giving you a playful shake wrapped in his arms. “Can you cook at all, or is this a warning that you’re gonna subject me to your awful cooking too?” 

“I can cook enough. Not a good cook by any means, but definitely not my Pops a few months ago. Can do more than Kraft Mac and Cheese, I’ll tell you that much.” He smirked, poking fun at the first meal you had made. You sat up, giving him the biggest stink face you could muster without bursting into laughter.

“Okay, first of all, rude. Second of all, don’t act like you wouldn’t have eaten an entire second pot if I hadn’t made one for you, Mr. Literally Will Literally Eat Anything Under The Sun In World Record Time.” 

“If I seem to remember correctly, you weren’t doing a lot of complaining after I ate, Osita.” He winked at you as you nudged your elbow into his side before he grabbed you, rolling you over and playfully wrestling you into the pile of pillows and blankets beneath you. “C’mere, Hermosa.” He wrapped his arms around you as you giggled and squirmed beneath him, trying to wiggle your way out of his grasp. You kicked your feet as he kissed at your neck, his mustache ticking you with each peck of his lips. Using all your might, you were able to roll over on top of him, straddling his lap as he lay on his back, breaking free of his grasp.

“Can’t get me that easy, Peña. Wrestling was the only way I got anything from my brothers for the first ten years of my life.” You smirked as you leaned down to kiss him as his fingertips gripped into your hips, pulling you further on to his lap. 

“Could think of worse ways to lose a wrestling match.” Javi’s face smug as he gestured to how you were sitting on top of him, letting out a quiet groan as you started to grind into his lap, feeling him already half hard beneath you. “Careful, Hermosa. Not gonna be so nice if you’re gonna try to play dirty.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to make the next move. 

Still bent over him, you kissed up his neck and jaw before nipping at his ear. “Last time I checked, you liked it when I played dirty.” Your whispers left jaw slack, pressing up into you, his dick already straining against the fabric of his sweatpants. 

“Fuck me.” He murmured under his breath as you began to grind harder into his crotch. “You wanna play dirty, baby? I can play fuckin’ dirty.” You could see the lust filled in the dark pool of his eyes, biting down on your lip, already feeling the slick pooling between your legs with each sway of your hips. “You already wet for me, baby?” 

This man read you like a book- like he had every fucking page memorized. “Mmmhhhmm.” You nodded, feeling how soaked the fabric of your sweatpants already was as you felt your clit rub deliciously against Javi’s dick, hard and heavy underneath you. 

“I know you are, dirty girl. Want me to touch you baby? Want me to make you come before I fuck that perfect pussy again?” You nodded again, frantically shaking your head yes at his filthy words as you worked yourself against his length. He laughed to himself, shaking his head as he watched how blissed out you already were rubbing against him. “Too bad.” 

You paused, shooting him a confused look. “What do you mean, too bad?” 

“You know exactly what I mean. You wanna play dirty, I will too. You wanna come? You get yourself off like this.” He gave you a subtle nod of his head, gesturing to how you were sitting on top of his lap. 

“Are you serious? Javi, c’mon, please.” You rolled your eyes at him as you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to play off how desperate you already were for him. 

“Rules are rules baby. Fight dirty, play dirty. C’mon pretty girl, I know how needy you are, how wet that pretty pussy is for me.” He mewled as he toyed with the waistband of your sweatpants, fingers brushing against your skin. He dug his fingers into your hips, slowly pushing them back and forth against his lap, encouraging you to pick back up your pace brushing up against his dick with every motion. “There you go, hermosa. That’s my girl. Just like that, baby.” He praised as you found yourself rubbing harder and harder against him, slick coating your thighs. With his length, it wasn’t hard to feel how big he was, making it easy to find a sweet spot that brushed up against your sensitive bundle of nerves as you rocked your hips back  and forth over him. 

“Javiiiii, fuck.” You whined, feeling the heat build at the base of your spine as your clit rubbed harder and harder on his covered cock. 

“That’s it, Osita. Doing so good for me, baby. God, you look so fucking pretty riding me like that, C’mon, I know you’re close sweetheart.” His praise had you climbing towards your high, each time you ground your hips into him had you closer and closer to coming undone. His name fell from your lips, moaning as he was gripping your hips again pushing you deeper into him. 

“Javi, I’m so close. Fuck, fuck fuckkkkkk.” You whimpered as you felt the euphoria rush through you, gushing, feeling your pussy throb from the intensity of your orgasm. You slumped into him, face falling on to his chest as you caught your breath. 

“Such a good girl, Osita. My good fucking girl. Did so good for me baby.” He whispered in your ear as hand his hands along your body, trembling at his touch. “Still want me to fuck you, dirty girl?” 

“Yes, holy shit, yes.” You moaned. “Please, I need you so bad Javi.” He helped you pull your sweatpants down, kicking them off your feet as you straddled back over Javi, sitting on top of his thighs. Slipping your fingers under his waistband, you pushed the pants down, revealing his dick, already red, precum leaking from its tip, leaving a stain on his sweatpants. You lifted yourself up, slowly sinking down on his length, each inch splitting you open with the sweetest stretch. Even without his fingers to warm you up, you were so wet that you took him easily, feeling yourself bottom out on his cock as Javi let out an audible groan. His hands reached around, giving you a light smack on your ass before his fingers kneaded into your flesh. You began to raise yourself up and down along his length, swirling your hips as your hands tugged at the hem of his sweatshirt that you were wearing, ready to take it off. His hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you before you could get any further. 

“Keep it on. Fuck, I love seeing you in my clothes.” He bit down on his lip as you nodded, rubbing your hands up and down his chest as you threw your head back, drunk on the way his dick felt hitting against that sweet spot inside you. The hair around his base rubbed against your clit, making you whine as you picked up your pace. “Jesus Hermosa, fuck me. Taking me so well. My sweet girl.” His voice was thick and raspy between his heavy breaths, his eyes glued on your every move as you rode him. 

Suddenly, you felt him shift. Sitting up with his back pushed up against the truck, he wrapped his arms around you pulling you in so you were chest to chest, foreheads pressed against each other. You could feel him thrust up into you, his cock punching that magical spot that made the heat at the base of your spine creep up your back. “Javi, fuck baby, you feel so good. Fuckkk.” You tugged at his thick curls, burying your face in the crook of his neck, the scent of his sweet and spicy cologne clinging to his sweatshirt. 

“I know, hermosa, I know. Fuck, you’re so wet and tight, baby. Gonna give me one more? Soak my dick before I fuck you full of me again?” You wrapped your legs around his waist, digging your fingers into his back as you felt yourself snap, screaming his name as pleasure ran through every inch of you. You could feel how tight you were clenching around his cock as you came, his thrusts pounding deeper and faster into you. It didn’t take long for him to meet his own end, only needing a few more pumps before you felt his seed spill into you, leaking down your thighs and into his lap as you slumped into each other. 

“Fuck, Osita.” He whispered between his labored breathing, lifting his head off your shoulder, smiling at your blissed out face. “Jesus, I fucking love you.” 

“I love you too, Jav. Super romantic with your dick still in me and your cum dripping down my legs.” You giggled, still sitting in his lap. 

“It’s fucking hot, is what it is. Fuck me, you’re so sexy. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve such a beautiful woman who fucking loves me like you?” 

“God, you’re so sweet. Get your dick out of me before I start crying again, you menace.” You both laughed as you shifted off of him, grimacing at the mess you had left behind in Javi’s lap. “Do you have any towels, or leftover napkins? Sorry, I made a fucking mess. So much for those showers before we left.” 

Javi paused for a moment before a sly grin crept across his face. “Ostia, can you swim?

You raised an eyebrow at him, very confused by his question, considering you were surrounded by a gigantic, grassy field. “What? Yes, of course I can swim? Why are you asking me that? How is knowing if I can swim helpful right now?”  

His smile turned giddy, smirking at you as he shimmied his sweatpants back over his legs. “C’mon, get in the truck.” He slid himself off the back of the truck bed, standing up and outstretching his hand toward you. You quickly pulled your sweatpants back on too, following behind him as he helped you out of the truck and picked you up to put you in the passenger seat. 

“Javi, what the hell are we doing? Are you gonna go throw me in a trough or something? Listen, I love those cows, but I am not gonna be happy if you toss me into a bucket full of dirty cow spit water.” You crossed your arms at him, waiting for a response. 

“You’ll see.” He winked at you before shutting your door, hopping over to the driver’s side and starting up the car. 

“You’re lucky I love you.” You grumbled, still crossing his arms at him. He reached over the center console, giving you a quick kiss before pulling away and shifting the truck into drive. 

“I’m a very lucky man, indeed.” You finally shifted out of your playfully grumpy demeanor, melting as Javi stared at you, his sweet, puppy dog eyes making your heart explode every time they landed on you. You turned up the radio as Javi pulled away, heading the opposite direction that you came from, his headlights shining on a thick patch of trees at the end of one of the pastures. Driving a little deeper into the wooded area, Javi put the car in park, leaving you even more confused than when you left. He smiled at you as he shut off the ignition, hopping out the door before coming around to your side, helping you out of the car. 

“God, I thought driving me out to the middle of the field was bad, but taking me out into the woods in the pitch black? You really never are beating these serial killer allegations, I’m afraid.” 

“You’re the worst, do you know that?” Javi shook his head as he grabbed your hand, pulling you along with him as he began to walk through the trees. 

“I’m just saying! Listen, if you really wanted- Hey! Hey! Put me down!” You squealed as Javi picked you up, flinging you over his shoulder as you pounded your fists against his back, kicking and giggling with each step he took. God, was he strong. He carried you like it was nothing, laughing to himself as he watched you try to wriggle your way out of his fireman hold. Letting out a huff of defeat, you slumped further into him, staring at the ground as he took each step. 

“At least I have a good view of your ass from here.” You snickered as he continued walking. 

“You really like my butt, don’t you?” He laughed, rustling you in his grasp, still flung over his shoulder. 

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are built like a God, Javier Peña. You’re very much proving your point right now carrying my fat ass through the woods.” 

He stopped, setting you down so you were facing towards him, placing his strong hand under your chin before tilting it up towards him. You gazed up at him, a surprisingly serious look spread across his face. “Hey. I love your ass. I love your body. Every curve, every single bit of you. Okay?”  

“Okay.” You softly replied, pulling you in tighter as he kissed the top of your head. “So are you gonna tell me where the hell we’re going, or are you just gonna keep carrying me through the woods?” 

“Turn around.” He nodded his head, gesturing behind you. As you spun around, you saw the moonlight sparkle off ripples of the pond in front of you. Rocks and tall grass surrounded the edges, water from a small stream flowing from behind the reeds into the pond. An old, worn wooden dock sat at the end, hovering over the first few feet out into the water. You turned back around to look at Javi, now smirking at your pleasant surprise with his most recent mystery. “I was out here every day as a kid in the summer. Nothing much, but it was deep enough to swim in. Haven’t been back here since high school, probably.”

“Is this where you’d take all the ladies to woo them with your swimming skills?” You joked, giving Javi a nudge as he stared around the pond. 

“No.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Just me and my friends, sometimes my cousins when they came over, if I was lucky.” 

“Well, I feel very honored to be the first lucky woman to get to see this secret pond.” You replied, slipping your sweatpants off your waist, leaving your bottom half exposed. Javi’s jaw dropped for the second time today watching you strip yourself of your clothes. “What?” You looked at him as your sweatshirt came next, dropping in a pile next to your pants, leaving you fully naked in front of him. “Aren’t we getting in?” You tilted your head at the pond, smirking at Javi who was now speechless. 

“You sure?” He said, gulping as he looked you up and down, your soft skin glowing in the moonlight. 

“Would I be standing here naked if I wasn’t?” You shrugged your shoulders as you raised an eyebrow at him. “You gonna swim in your sweats or am I gonna keep standing here like a naked idiot waiting for you?” Before you could say anything else, Javi’s clothes were on the ground next to yours, leaving you both bare, hidden amongst the secluded trees. This time, you grabbed his hand, running as you pulled him to the end of the dock, abruptly pausing as you got to the edge. “Are there like, weird things in here? It’s deep enough to jump in, right?” 

“Hermosa, just get in, you’re fine.” 

“Okay, but like-” 

“Osita, get in or I’m gonna push you in.”  

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“You know I fucking will.” 

“Ugh okay, okay! Just promise me-” 

“1…” 

“Javi, wait-” 

“2…” 

“I’m being serious, don’t you do it! Javier Jesús Peña, I swear to God-” 

“3!” 

Before you could finish, Javi had his arms wrapped around your waist, swinging you back and forth, throwing you over the edge of the dock, limbs flailing as you splashed into the water. You peeked your head up, running your hands over your face as you watched Javi laughing hysterically. You flung your hand against the water, trying your best to splash him as he still stood at the edge thoroughly amused with himself. 

“I hate you, I hope you know that.” You grumbled, splashing him again. “Hey, wait, where are you going?” You shouted as you watched Javi turn around, making his way off the dock. It wasn’t long before you regretted asking the question, as Javi quickly turned around, getting a running start as he launched himself off the edge, drenching you as he drove into the water, making waves that splashed against you upon his entrance. You swam there for a moment, waiting for his head to pop up somewhere next to you, when suddenly, you felt something wrap around your ankle, making you absolutely screech at the top of your lungs. You swam as fast as you could back to the edge of the dock, clinging to the edge as you heard more hysterical laughter behind you, turning around to see Javi cackling to himself as you panted breathlessly, waiting for your heart rate to return to a semi-normal pace. 

“Holy shit, I didn’t think I was gonna scare you that bad, Osita.” He came down from his laughter, looking over at you hanging from the wooden planks still trying to catch your breath. “I’m sorry, baby. Are you okay?” He swam closer to you, now seeming like he felt a little remorse for what he had done. 

You took a few more deep breaths before letting go of the dock, looking back at him. Now only an arms’ length away from you, you swam full force towards Javi, wrapping your body around his, trying to wrestle him in the water. “You are an absolute jerk, you know that?” You grunted between your giggles as Javi grabbed you back, spinning you as you thrashed in the water, splashing it in his face before he grabbed your face to kiss him. Your legs locked around Javi’s hips, arms wrapping around his neck as his slipped behind your back, pulling you closer, feeling weightless in the water. He drew away for a moment, taking one of his hands to caress your face, rubbing his thumb along your jaw. 

“I forgive you, I guess.” You smiled as you sat there for a moment, taking in every detail of his face. His messy wet hair, his chocolate brown eyes, the way his mustache shifted above his lips as he smiled, everything about him that made you love him even more than you thought you already could. The way he looked back at you made you feel like there wasn’t anyone else in the world who could ever love you more. 

“God, you’re so beautiful. I love you, Osita.” 

“I love you too, Javi.” 

He brought you in closer, placing another gentle kiss on your lips. He pulled away again, this time with a look of panic washing over his face.

“What? Are you okay?” 

 “Was that your foot?” 

“My feet are wrapped around your waist?” You looked at him curiously. 

Trying his best to keep calm, Javi swam you both closer and closer to the shore, still carrying you with him as you stepped back on to land. This time, it was your turn to laugh at him, suddenly realizing why he had gotten out so quickly. “Not big and brave now, huh?” 

“At least I didn’t scream like you.” 

“Oh shut up.” You giggled as he set you back down, now sopping wet and shivering next to your pile of clothes. “Any way to explain to your dad why the hell we’re both coming back soaking wet?” You grimaced as you started to pull your sweatshirt over your wet body.

“We’re not.” His face smug as he followed suit opting to only put on his sweatpants, leaving him shirtless as you both headed back through the trees. 

“So…. What? You’re just gonna ask your dad to close his eyes and ignore us when we come back inside?” You raised an eyebrow in confusion looking up at Javi as he reached down to grab your hand as you walked. 

“No. To be honest, Pops is probably already passed out in front of the TV, but of course, you can’t walk through the front door without going past him. We’ll just sneak in through my bedroom window and he’ll be none the wiser.” 

You stopped for a second before laughing at him, continuing to walk as you shook your head. “Sneak in? What are we, 16? I know you said you’ve never brought any girls down here before, but I have a very hard time believing this is the first time you’ve snuck a girl into your room, Javier Peña.” 

“Only a few times.” He looked down at the ground sheepishly as you squeezed his hand. 

“I’m just giving you a hard time, Jav. Wouldn’t be my first time sneaking in either.” You admitted, your cheeks turning slightly red at your admission. 

“Really?” He perked up. “You don’t strike me as the type, but do tell.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You just seem like such a rule follower, maybe it’s the teacher in you.” He shrugged as you rolled your eyes. “What’d ya do?” 

“Fair, I guess. I was 17. One of my friends was having a party at her parents house while they were on vacation, and being the rule follower that I am, I asked my parents and they said no. I was so mad because it felt like they always let my brothers go out and have fun and I never got to. So, once everyone was asleep, I snuck out, rode my bike all the way to my friends house, got drunk out of my mind, which is part of the reason why I can never drink vodka again, and by some miracle, was able to ride my bike back home. When I came in through the side door of the garage, my brother David was in there, already waiting for me. He told me that he could hear me singing at the top of my lungs halfway down the block. He took pity on me and helped my drunk ass up to bed and never told my parents. He’s always been my favorite brother. Then, I pretended to have the stomach flu for the next 3 days to cover up for my hangover.” You both laughed as you finished your walk up to the truck, Javi opening the passenger door for you as you stepped in. 

“No vodka, duly noted. You trying to tell me your singing gets even more obnoxious when you’re drunk?” He smiled as you buckled yourself in. 

“You love my singing, don’t lie. But um… maybe… Just a little. You’ll just have to deal with my sober serenading for now, sorry.” You smirked at him as you shrugged your shoulders, Javi laughing to himself as he shut the door behind you. 

……….. 

As promised, you spent the rest of the ride to the ranch windows down, blaring “Go Your Own Way” from Fleetwood Mac, noting that even though Javi had put on the album not long ago, you were a bit distracted to actually listen to any of the songs. If it was anyone else, Javi would have rather been caught dead than singing along to anything, regardless of song, album or artist. But lucky for him, you weren’t just anyone. You were his everything. Javi was sad when you’re singing came to an end, lowering the music as you pulled up to the house, trying to remain as quiet as possible to not wake up his dad. 

“Too bad you don’t have the James Bond soundtrack in your car, I feel like we’re on some sort of secret mission right now.” You whispered, trying to close the truck door behind you as quietly as possible. 

“C’mon, you dork.” He replied, taking you by the hand and leading you around the edge of his house. You both tiptoed along the wood siding of the house, Javi leading you before stopping under one of the windows, slightly cracked open, pushing out of its frame. “Alright, if I lift you up, can you push it the rest of the way open and climb in?” 

“Sure thing, Agent Peña. What number do you want to be, since you clearly can’t be 007, that one’s already taken. I don’t think they’ll let you be the next James Bond with that ‘stache.” You mumbled, stepping in front of Javi as he got ready to lift you up. 

“Will you just get in the window, please?” He scoffed, squeezing his hands on your hips, getting ready to hoist you. 

“Fine, fine, just say you wanna be lame and move on. I’m ready.” As Javi shot you up, your fingers wrapped around the edge of the windowsill, humming to yourself as you shimmied yourself in. 

“Bada boommmm, bada booommmmm, bahnanah.”  

“Are you seriously singing the James Bond theme song right now?” Javi looked up at the window as you pushed open the rest of the pane, now looking down at him. 

“Yeah, at least one of us should have a little fun with this. You need my help getting in?” 

He hadn’t even answered your question before he was already halfway through the window, pulling himself through and landing on the floor.  

“Showoff.” You grumbled to yourself as he closed the window behind him. Wet and uncomfortable in your clothes, you stripped them off of you, drying yourself off from the towel you had left on Javi’s bed from your shower earlier. Javi did the same, shedding his sweatpants and throwing them next to yours before you both crawled under the covers, curling into each other. You pulled the comforter up over you, nestling against the warmth of Javi’s body. Laying your head on Javi’s chest, Javi ran his fingers through the ends of your hair, still damp from your swim. It wasn’t until you hit the bed that you realized just how exhausted you were, barely keeping your eyes open, your eyelids heavy with sleep.

“Javi?” You asked, looking up at him, your voice low and soft, letting out a quiet yawn. 

“Yes, Osita?” He peered down at you, fingers still twisting through your locks. 

“You really love me?” 

He chuckled warmly, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. “I really do. Con todo mí corazón. (With all my heart.) Get some sleep, Hermosa, I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

He paused, waiting for you to respond. 

“Hermosa?”  

The only thing he heard after that were your sweet snores humming against his chest, you already sound asleep in his arms. He gave you one more kiss on the head before pulling you closer, shutting his eyes as he whispered one last goodnight.  “Buenas noches, Osita. Soy un hombre afortunado. Tienes todo mí corazón para siempre. Te amo.” (Good night, Osita. I’m a lucky man. You have all of my heart, forever. I love you.)

..........

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed

[ep2nd]

I really hope Macaria gets her own Hades game, and if not here's some of my ideas

It's like the opposite of Hades 1

Mac has long brown hair that kinda looks like Persephones hairdo pre-underworld, yellow and white based clothes, two green eyes, and oh yeah white wings, all weapons kinda float on her back. Very nice, kind, and sweet. More of Hallyday, joyous, flowers and rainbow vibe game

Mac is trapped on the mortal world, raised by Persephone, because that curse is like the opposite for her, she can't live in the underworld, lives in Persephones old farm

Trained by Chiron, taking Skelemesus(how do you spell??) Role. Also Triptolemus is here, mortal turned God by Demeter during Persephones disappearance, and Cyrene, amazing Hunter and Shepherd princess/queen turned Naiad, lover of Apollo and Ares too

Plot: The Primordal gods and Titans are awaking, aka they were all, mostly, asleep before this and will wake up and choose violence

Mainly Gaia, who's upset about the Titan things. The Olympians can't help cause they gotta deal with Typhon, so Mac gets help from minor gods and some Titans- Hebe, fun cus, Asclepius, bless his soul, Triton, nervous cus, Iris, gossip girl/hermes job, Nike, probably challenges you like Nem in Hades 2, Tyche, the IDK, Eros, seductive but is married(put shoulerd guards because of THE INCIDENT), Psyche, distant, loss vibe, but a sweetheart, Aeolus, laying down on a couch looking cloud, baby girl, Prometheus, holds tourch thats all I ask for, Themis, blindfold looking straight at you with hands on sword in the ground, stoic.... probably others, comment below

For Nyx kids this time around, basically everyone's who left, but primarily Phil(Philotes) Friendship Incarnate, the bestie who's like Hypnos, never met him though, she doesn't hang out with her other family, except Hemera! Also here, like the opposite Nyx, kinda duh Day Incarnate, also you wake Aither, Light Incarnate, same vibe as giddy Hypnos kinda. But then gets the worst Nyx kids, Oizys, Distress Incarnate, pessimism pro, Momus, Satire Incarnate, ridicules you for everything, the worse, more annoying Hypnos greeter, Dolos and Apate, Fraud and Deceit Incarnate, makes your job harder and kills you half the time, Geras, grumpy old man, anddddd Achlys, Misery Incarnate, who I make Nyx AND Erebus kid because the Chaos and Nyx kid might be too weird... also Asleep Primordal... but awakes, very much like Charon, they are best friends, enemies, and closest siblings, both taught by Erebus and hisses/growls to speak, also will kill you UNLESSS you offer her stuff, dumb enough to fight Charon... but he's also dumb enough to fight her so...

Also Erebus is here, who I like to say is all their dad because I love him, defiantly loving father who's been denied fatherhood too many times

Wake during the fight with Tartarus, who also wakes. They have beef. Fought each other and put eachother to sleep, on the day Eris was born, when the Twins were barely a year old(the order is different for reasons). Basically Erebus is gonna visist his entire family, also favors Charon because he's the first kid who he could ACTUALLY RAISE- looks at Hemera, Aither, and the Fates- let's not talk about Moros, Nemesis, Geras, Phil, Hypnos, Than, Eris, and Momus

Also others you awake- Oceanus, Pontus, Ananke, Astreaus, Uranus(maybe), Gaia, and other primordals/Titans prob, comment below for ideas

Other characters: Hippolytus, hates his dad(Theseus) loves Artemis(as in a Motherly figure/best friend, depending on how you see em) also loves his actually mom, Jason and Perseus hanging out together(congrats if ya got that reference), Atalanta, challenge you in everything and likes to berate Jason, Hippolyta, hates her Ex loves her son, Otrera, person you fight because why not?, Keto(Ceto) goddess of Sea Monsters, person you fight because I want that design, Midas, like takes Charons job for most of the game, also Pasithea, with children, help her get to Hypnos, others I don't know GIVE IDEAS

Weapons: main Scythe, because yes, at one point gets dual Swords, one is Aspect of Erebus, because yes, throwing knives, Aspect of Oizys, idk feels right, some type of spear thing, Aspect of Iris and Nike for those, whip? Aspect of Megeara because I'm funny, shields, either Aspect of Heracles or Achlys, and one for Perseus and Athena, mirror shield plus Medusa head one, Hammer/Mace, a Hypnos Ascpet it's funny guys, probably Momus too, and I don't know... that's all I got

For Romance options, I feel like Phil because she's very like Mac, Oizys for that Nemesis/Melinoe type, maybe an Iris one? She shows up in person eventually after you get her fountain, and if you wanna be REALLY funny, Meg or Than depending what ya chose for the first game

Finally, you get a big quest known as Phil's Tea Party, basically everytime you god a minor god or Nyx kid to join her Tea Party, at the end get the whole family, please, Phil loves her family despite them not loving her

AND THATS IT???

I don't know, love to hear ideas

[bucketspammer4life]

The boxers during halloween

(sees christmas decorations being put up) HALLOWEEN. HALLOWEEN!!! HALLOWEEN!!!

Glass Joe

- has a vampire costume and is giving out candy himself since "hes too old for all of this"

- buys those big family size packages of candy to give out, he likes them because he can snack on candy when halloween ends

- purposefully calls obvious costumes dumb stuff to get reactions out of people

- "oh yeah did you dress up as my moms curtains??"

- "IM A GHOST AND YOU ARE FRENCH!!"

- drinks a glass of tomato juice with his costume for extra realism

Von Kaiser

- He dressed up as the frankensteins monster, only for his students to dress up as him

- He gives out raisins and toothbrushes for halloween along with fruit (NOOO!!)

- does scary roaring sounds to scare people, only to get laughed at, thats what you get for giving out healthy food during halloween

- tries telling scary stories and gives up halfway through

Disco Kid

- dressed up as a fully functional disco ball (functional almost autocorrected to father LMAOO)

- goes out trick or treating himself but gets bored

- watching bad quality horror movies with Mac to laugh at them

- helps the kaisers students toilet paper his house for fun

- carving pumpkins with the others

King Hippo

- dressed up as a Hippo (how creative of you)

- does trick or treating with Disco kid, after disco got bored he went all out on his own and got a lot of candy

- He ate the pumpkin he was supposed to carve, no remains left, also totally unrelated: has anyone seen Joe's pumpkin carving knife?? That he was supposed to carve pumpkins with??

- his dentist will not be happy

Piston Hondo

- dressed up in sailor moon cosplay, rocking it as he should

- is the one giving out candy because imagine if a famous boxer dressed up as sailor moon came to your house for candy,seems like a fever dream

- helping Kaiser un-tp his house

- attempting to call bloody mary for the 10th time, She probably blocked your number already leave her before she gets a restraining order please

- sad that he has no one to match with

Bear Hugger

- dressed up as the lorax, matching with someone else as the greedler (im not spoiling it shut up) the squirrel is joining them dressed up as those bear things in the movie

- giving out entire bottles of maple syrup during halloween, people dont exactly hate it but its kind of a jumpscare seeing someone dressed up as a maple tree hand you maple syrup

- tried to sit on a pumpkin, only to break it instantly

- people keep assuming he dressed up as a Cheeto puff

Great Tiger

- dressed up as a fairy princess, yes hes a fairy, yes hes a princess and no he will not share his magic with you, jealous ass

- using his flying to his advantage by flying around with fairy wings on

- throwing "fairy dust" (glitter) around, people keep finding glitter in their food, costumes, socks and basically everywhere

Don Flamenco

- who'd you think was matching bear hugger? hes dressed up as the greedler and rocking it, how bad can he be anyways?

- loses 10 years from his life eveytime someone doesnt notice the refs he makes to the movie

- if anyone actually gets the ref he'll break out into song like hes in a musical (a punch out musical would go hard actually)

Aran Ryan

- a demon witch, matching with great tiger and also throwing "evil dust" (Hot pepper flakes) around, aran i think youre just assaulting people

- robbed Kaiser from his actual candy he hid away

- evil cackling as he attempts to fly on his broomstick, only to fall on his ass

- chasing Joe with the carving knife

Soda Popinski

- a fridge, he deadass just wore a entire fridge with soda in it

- pulling out random stuff from the fridge and handing out to people, Water? Drink up, tomatos? Here you go!!

- keeps getting stared at but in a good way

Bald Bull

- hes just in a bull onesie because he lost a bet, embarrased but he finds it comfy secretly, fell asleep in it at some point

- people keep calling him a cow and its driving him crazy

- "moo"

- "IM A BULL GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU ALL BLIND ASS BITCHES"

- watching movies and falling asleep

- carved a pumpkin with Joe and ended up laughing at it with him for 10 minutes

Super Macho Man

- himself, hes not giving out any free shout outs today

- fuck you super macho man

- carved himself into a pumpkin

- He cant keep getting away with this

Mr Sandman

- dressed up as a mummy since he didnt have enough time to think about it

- hes the only one who can actually scare people with and without his costume

- tried to put a pumpkin on his head, sad because it didnt fit

Extra

- kaisers students did the trenchcoat gag, dressef up as him and tried to buy a car with 10 dollars and a dance performance

- mrs bear dressed up as a princess and did her make up, looks stunning

- carmen dressed up as a flamingo

- soda has to pay back that fridge now

[danger-tits-lute]

Comfort food(s): Lemon Chicken Soup, Stuffed Shells, Mac & Cheese, Stuffed Mushrooms, Chicken & Dumplings but only my moms everyone else can get fucked, PB&J on crackers

Comfort drink(s): Tea, Diet Coke, Coffee, Boba, Liquid IV.

Comfort movie(s): Nightmare Before Christmas, Any Ghibli movie but specifically The Secret World of Arrietty, Disney Movies, The Little Princess, Anastasia, Thumbelina, The Swan Princess

Comfort show(s): Adventure Time, Over The Garden Wall, Gravity Falls, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, Umbrella Academy, The Simpsons (I cannot fall asleep without putting this on I have somehow trained my brain) Futurama, American Dad

Comfort clothing: Husband/S.O. shirts or any super large t-shirt, flannel pajama bottoms, my pyrrha hoodie,

Comfort song(s): Love Story - Indila (I'm keeping this one bc me too), ceilings- Lizzy McAlpine, Dandelions- Ruth B., Any Fall Out Boy but my fav is Jet Pack Blues, Dusk Till Dawn- Madilyn Bailey, Cry Like A Ghost- Passion Pit, RUNRUNRUN- Dutch Melrose

Comfort book(s): The Giver, The Secret Garden, Runemarks- Joanne Harris

Comfort game(s): Alice: Madness Returns, Bioshock, Borderlands 2, the entire Nathan Drake Collection

Knabbed from: @high-seraphims

Tagging: @dick-meister @fallen-first-man @alteregozowie @grim-the-embodiment-of-death @lettherebemonsters @themosthatedbeingg and anyone else who wants to do it

[ayearofgoodfate]

i’m staying awake making sure my roommate doesn’t start showing od symptoms. we tend to take things too far. i have my hell day later and it’s all i can do not to fall asleep but i miss my parents house even though they didn’t always know how to be parents and i miss my little brother and sister and my dog and my bookshelf and the wall i would tape up magazine articles and photos to whenever i got sad. and i think that college fucks you up a little bit. there is so much love here. there’s also so much trauma.

when i was about nine my dad decided that he and i were going to read every single book in the middle grade section of the library. my dad had a lot of passion and not a lot of ways to harness it so every saturday he would drive me to the library and he had this old grey car that he could never tame enough to follow the speed limit. and we’d just spend hours there. my dad never talked to me a lot, we never had conversations that weren’t in a group setting. he never told me things or asked me questions but i was a talker so he learned what would work to work around that. he read to me. he’d always read to me. we’d knock out a book or two in the library, literally just sitting there for four hours straight on the old blue carpet while he’d make up voices for the characters, then we’d take about twelve more books home for the week. I’d read most of them on my own, but we’d go through one or two together throughout the week before bed. when we left the library he’d always buy girl scout cookies in quarters from whoever was outside the library selling. we’d eat the whole box. dad never made it feel like we had less than. he never ever told me that we were as poor as we were. he has done a lot of things but i will love him for that forever. i will always defend my dad.

we stopped reading together after a while. he got tired or i got old and he’d joined the church and my siblings weren’t babies and suddenly there were littler kids that needed reading time too. we didn’t finish the entire middle grade section of the library. i don’t think we even made it halfway. i don’t think dad has gone to the library since. the last book we read, we didn’t finish, and i was a bitch about it. it was this big collection of science fiction short stories and the girls in my class had been telling me that stuff was for boys and i simply wasn’t having it. dad wouldn’t have that. every book is every book, so we trudged.

i got really sick that fall. i slept for days straight. my parents couldn’t afford doctors and probably wouldn’t have taken me anyway but dad was really good at taking care of sick people. he’d sit there and watch me breathe and make me mac and cheese and read to me and i’d be half asleep. this one story was about solipsism. i was delirious, drifting in and out of his voice, letting the idea of me being the only real person in the world marinate in my mind. i woke up three days later like i’d never been sick. i needed to read that story again because i needed to know it existed because, mainly, i needed to know that dad did and mom did and baby sister and brother and my friends and the book was gone.

i looked for it for years in different libraries. big. silver. i resigned myself to the fact that it was a fever dream and then like magic it popped up on the library shelves again. i took it out and renewed it for months on end and drew in it with the invisible ink pen I stole from office depot’s back to school sale. i marked it with my name and annotated it with notes on how dad read it when i was little and it was mine until it was overdue. years later i bought a used copy i found at a yard sale. annotated. i play around in my mind with the idea of trading the books out, as if i still live in a place where i could. the point is, it’s real. we’re real. dad was real, our library trips that had been half forgotten were real, and isn’t it nice to feel real and to know everything else is too?

I miss dad. my roommate’s breathing heavy and in a few hours she will wake up sick. between my classes i’ll raid my drawers and wallet for enough coins to run to cvs and buy her some mac and cheese because that’s what we both crave when we’re not doing too good. i will never tell her i paid for it in coins and i’ll never tell her i stayed up to make sure she’d be okay. we’re a lot alike and so i’m not even mad at her for what she did tonight. she just wanted to know she was real. she is my best friend and she has a lot of passion. i take to people like that, latch onto them like a leech because i was taught to feel deeply and anyone who doesn’t i seem to repel. i will go to class and not fall asleep, and i’ll wear cute clothes and there will be circles under my eyes and no part of me will match but that’s how i am and i can’t ever in good faith tell anyone why. i play around with calling dad a lot. I look at his contact but i can’t bring myself to hear the silence. i think that’s why i went to book school in the first place. i think it’s why i’m writing this.

[taswritesstuff]

hey chat i wrote a super short story :)

trigger/content warnings: hints at suicidal thoughts, hints at suicide attempts, mentions of self harm

Annabelle Epling is fourteen when she meets a boy with blonde hair and scar-covered arms, and she doesn’t have to ask to put a name to the face. Steven Blake is different than she expects. He’s smiling.

The first time they interact one-on-one, Annabelle is heading up to the main office to pick up new whiteboard markers when she spots Steven sitting outside the counselors’ office. She stops. She sits down. There’s a bandage wrapped around his wrist.

“I was doing so well,” he says numbly. Later that day, Annabelle’s dad is too busy working to punish her for skipping class. It’s the first time she’s done it. She made the right choice — that’s what she plans to say, but he never asks.

When Tony calls in tears and says that Justin’s in the hospital, Steven grabs Annabelle’s hand. “He’ll be okay,” he says. “I was.”

Were you? Annabelle wonders when she gets the call about him a year later.

Annabelle Epling is seventeen and sitting in her best friend’s bedroom, entirely unsure how to be of help. It’s sort of like when her mom left, she thinks, only she’s never gotten sad about that. Not really.

Steven and Kaz swoop in to save the day. While Kaz makes Kia boxed mac and cheese, Steven finds Annabelle sitting on the floor of Kia’s bedroom and says, “She loves you, you know.”

Two years later, those words make her cry for an entirely different reason, but that’s a story for another time.

Annabelle is eighteen and thinking about how her whole life is ahead of her. She’s sitting on a couch between Zhan Chen and Peter Skowalski. She’s watching Steven, asleep on Kaz’s shoulder in the middle of a party, and she’s wondering if he’s going to die before his twenty-fifth birthday like her brother almost did. 

He opens his eyes and smiles at her. Zhan and Peter take her outside.

“Your parents are going to kill you,” Annabelle says, staring at the tattoo on Steven’s neck. He shrugs, turning away from the mirror to face her. He reaches out his arm, and she loops hers through it.

“They’ll get over it,” he says, grinning. “You did,” he says, and she knows what he means.

I got over her, she thinks. She is twenty-seven, and she is proud of herself. 

[purplesurveys]

1703

it’s me robyn i’m just ending the ssurveys era

How often do you eat your favourite food? Sushi...maybe once a month? Probably even less than that. It’s not something I have a lot. Good sushi especially is expensive, so it’s not something I’ll always have the budget for.

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) I have, very few times, but in general it’s something I try to avoid. It’s awkward and I hate the feeling of my head swinging left and right – even lurching forward – when the ride is bumpy.

What room of the house are you in right now? Just in my room.

What was the last tv show you watched? I caught the second half of Beyond the Sea episode of Black Mirror with my sister. Pretty good episode! Made me remember just why I love Black Mirror. The twist at the end was entirely unexpected for me, too.

Have you been using Apple Music? I’m on Spotify and have always preferred Spotify. I remember activating my free trial for Apple Music for what I’m almost certain was a BTS-related reason lol, but I didn’t last beyond a month on it.

Do you pay rent for the place you live? How often? I don’t.

How do you feel at this particular moment? Anything on your mind? My right shoulder is extremely sore. It’s bothersome. Emotion- and mental-wise though, I’m doing fine. I’m happy that it’s the weekend.

Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? We had a weekend staycation somewhere south-ish, if that counts. I was with my family – it had been my dad’s last weekend home, so we wanted to maximize the little time we had left.

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? Well not by default, but people can play their music if they want. No one ever does, but it’s not like we’re prohibited either.

List all the colours you’re currently wearing. Beige and orange. What’s your favourite type of donut? I like all kinds of doughnuts, as long as it is NOT filled; I’ve always disliked those. Too messy and defeats the purpose of having the hole, which to me has always been the fun part of eating a doughnut haha. I also dislike anything with coconut on or in it.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? I skip breakfast most days. If anything, I always just have iced coffee.

Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often? I never use candles. I’m too scared of fire to deal with them on a regular basis.

When was the last time you went out for dinner? ^ The aforementioned staycation, a week ago. We went to Gerry’s Grill because we were all craving ginataang kuhol, only to find out they’ve cut it from their menu for what’s apparently been years now D: Anyway what we got was still yummy - we had kare-kare, crispy pata, and grilled squid.

Have you seen all the Hunger Games films as of current? I’ve only seen the first movie. There was a time when one of the movie channels (remember cable?) aired it absolutely nonstop.

What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? I think I was just telling my mom “yeah” when she quipped how cold it was tonight.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Mac.

How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Never. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? I don’t cook.

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah when you’re Filipino the list of cousins just never ends. I even have first cousins I’ve never met before.

What does your shampoo smell like? It doesn’t really have a distinct scent. It just smells...nice and refreshing, I guess lol.

What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? It smells just like soap. I’m not picky at all when it comes to bathroom products; as long as it gets the job done then I get it.

Have you ever had an exotic or unusual pet? Nah.

Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? Not really, no.

Why did you last go see a doctor? Besides the dentist, I went to the local animal bite center to get my last wave of shots after Cooper bit me.

What was the last thing you bought online? Wireless headphones.

Where do you usually park your car? We have a carport.

Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? Always delivered straight here. I’m not sure if we have a public facility where mails can be sent otherwise.

Are you more logical or creative? Logical. Creativity is not my forte.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Most of the time, unless it’s a pricey brand.

What is your dream job? Do you think that’s attainable for you? If writing paid well, I would’ve been in media a long time ago so I can write for the rest of my life. It’s all I know and love to do. Alas I’ve had to compromise and stick to a path that to be fair still entails a lot of writing (great for me), but also demands other skills that I’ve since had to pick up and learn.

When was the last time you looked at Facebook, Twitter or etc.? About half an hour ago. It’s 3 AM and all my feeds are understandably dry.

Have you ever been on a train? Where did you go? A few times. Last time was in Bangkok, and we were just travelling back home after one of our Klook tours.

How many times a year do you go on vacation? 2-3 times a year, usually with family. Bangkok really awakened the traveler in me though and I wanna make it a point now to travel with my own funds at least once a year.

Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can just curl it.

What was the last job interview you went to? It was for a global e-commerce site. I was desperate to escape at the time, but that feeling has since considerably died down.

Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Of course. It’s a fairly common feeling I get, especially in a job that squeezes so much socializing out of me on a daily basis.

When was the last time you wore something totally inappropriate for the weather? Does this happen often? I’m not sure...hasn’t happened in a while. The weather doesn’t exactly drastically change often in this part of the world, so I always have an idea what to wear.

The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? I was going to the office because I had a scheduled one-on-one with the CEO. Nothing big or serious, she just likes to have catch-ups with her employees from time to time and that’s what we had.

When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? Eh, it was like half a year ago. We invited a few friends for a Christmas gathering, then they canceled the day of. I was definitely a bit peeved then but I’ve since moved past it.

Do you have a friend that has a tendency to “dump” you whenever they get a new partner? I don’t have friends like that. All of them are either in committed relationships by this point, or are too busy to find a partner.

Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? In theory it would be nice but realistically I think it’d just be awkward.

In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Dresses! I’ve never been into shorts.

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Yeah, once. I just ignored it because I knew it was pointless to argue with the man who tried to start something with me.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? Almond milk, yes.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? Rapunzel. I’d love to hang out with Maximus and Pascal.

How many cans of soda would you say you drink in a week, if any at all? Zero, I hate soda.

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? I wouldn’t say so. I like hanging out downstairs too because I regularly play with the dogs and use the TV there too.

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? I don’t sleep in. You know how revenge bedtime procrastination is a thing? I like to do that with waking up too, if that makes sense lol i.e. I wake up early so I get more out of my day.

How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? I overpack to the point of absurdity. If I’m going away for a week, I will 100% pack clothes good for 1.5-2 weeks instead. I like having my options because I might not always feel my ‘planned’ outfit for the day I’m meant to wear it.

How old is your oldest living relative? To my knowledge that would be my maternal grandmother, but idk. I could possibly have relatives who may be older.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? I’m sure I can, as long as the meals are prepared for me. I have no clue how to whip up any vegan dishes.

If you’re a fan of Harry Potter, are you sad that there’ll never be another book or movie? I’m not an HP fan.

If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I’m great with my younger sister.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Less than a year.

What happened last time you got drunk? Stayed in the parking lot for like 30 minutes because I thought I lost the money I needed to pay for the parking, and was frantically looking for it around the car (the time alone was enough to make me sober again lol)...eventually I gave up and fortunately the payment booth accepted e-wallets, so I got to get out of there and drive back home. Then the next day I went back to the car to try and look for that stupid P500 bill only to find it in the cup holder -______-

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? Over a decade ago.

Do you bite your toe nails? Oh my. No I don’t.

Last thing you said out loud? I was just singing along to a song.

Last time you laughed your head off? About half an hour ago watching Run BTS. What do you want right this second? I could go for McDonald’s right now, but ehhhh I can hold it out.

How are you sitting? My legs are propped up.

Your mood? Content.

Did you sleep alone last night? Yuppers.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? I don’t think I’m supposed to be anyway. I’ve got a dentist appointment first thing later.

Do you find piercings attractive? It’s highly subjective for me. A lip piercing might look super hot on someone but meh on another person.

What were you doing last night at midnight? I think I was watching Smosh.

Will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? Nope.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today? Zero.

Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? Sometimes.

Do you like potato chips? They’re fine, but can definitely live without them.

Do you give out second chances way too easily? No.

[suckitsurveys]

How often do you eat your favourite food? I have sushi at least once a month if not more. Crab legs are more of a rarity though.

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) On a Greyhound bus to South Dakota in 8th grade. Never again. Unless I take a really long flight. I hate sleeping in public.

What room of the house are you in right now? I’m in my office at work.

What was the last tv show you watched? The last thing I watched on TV was clips from SNL.

Have you been using Apple Music? Nope.

Do you pay rent for the place you live? How often? Yes, monthly.

How do you feel at this particular moment? Anything on your mind? I’m very sleepy.

Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? I went camping for a night and stayed in a hotel the next night in Starved Rock State Park with my husband.

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? Not usually. Sometimes my coworker/officemate and I will play music.

List all the colours you’re currently wearing. Black, olive green, pink, neon orange, grey, silver, beige.

What’s your favourite type of donut? I’m not a HUGE fan of donuts, but I do like jelly filled ones.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? Cereal on work days.

Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often? Yes, we accidentally started a Bath and Body Works candle collection lol.

When was the last time you went out for dinner? A week or so ago I went out with my friend for sushi.

Have you seen all the Hunger Games films as of current? I have zero interest in that.

What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? "Oh, I love Please-Waiting.” It’s something we say when we run reports on the system we use at work because it tells us to “Please Wait” as it takes 4329749302749320 minutes to run...

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? I have Windows.

How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? I RARELY call anyone ever. The only number I call on an almost-daily basis is the Zoom meeting we have every morning for work lol.

Have you cooked anything today? What was it? I have not.

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? I have 4 immediate “first” cousins (as in my parents’ siblings’ kids). Kelly (from my mom’s sister), Jerry and Sean (from my mom’s brother), and Joey (from my dad’s sister). And then I have a billion other cousins (my dad’s cousins and their kids, my moms cousins and their kids, my cousin’s kids, etc) that I am not naming.

What does your shampoo smell like? Strawberries.

What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? Milk and honey. Have you ever had an exotic or unusual pet? The most ~non-traditional~ one we’ve had is probably the chick my sister won at some carnival game. We really tried to take care of him and nurse him and all but he died overnight. <--Jesus that’s fucking HORRIBLE.

Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? Emily the Criminal!

Why did you last go see a doctor? It’s been a bit.

What was the last thing you bought online? PLANE TICKETS TO BOSTON TO GO SEE JOHN MULANEY AND MY BEST FRIENDDDDD. Where do you usually park your car? On the street at home. At work I have a spot in the lot.

Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It gets delivered directly to us.

Are you more logical or creative? Both.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? If they bother me, yes.

What is your dream job? Do you think that’s attainable for you? I’d love to be an event planner. It’s possible?

When was the last time you looked at Facebook, Twitter or etc.? I’m looking at tumblr right now lol.

Have you ever been on a train? Where did you go? Oh TONS of times. Local trains and passenger trains to various places.

How many times a year do you go on vacation? Depends.

Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it and make it into the shape of a clover.

What was the last job interview you went to? Blah. An interview for a promotion. I didn’t get it.

–

Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Of course.

When was the last time you wore something totally inappropriate for the weather? Does this happen often? The other day I forgot a hat and my head suffered because of it. It doesnt happen too often, especially in winter/summer, but I’ve been caught without a coat or with too heavy a coat in spring/fall because here that weather is TRICKY.

The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? The last time I left the house was this morning to come here.

When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? I don’t remember.

Do you have a friend that has a tendency to “dump” you whenever they get a new partner? No, I am not friends with teenagers.

Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? I’ve done that before! My dad took me on a trip to Pittsburgh to see the Cubs play a few years ago. He’s been talking about going to New Orleans together soon too.

In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? Bike shorts and tshirts all summer baby. Sometimes dresses.

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Uh huh.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? Almost always.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? I’m good. How many cans of soda would you say you drink in a week, if any at all? Usually maybe once a month if that.

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? No, I only really sleep in our bedroom.

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? I’m 33. How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? Definitely depends on where we are going.

How old is your oldest living relative? I’m not sure.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? No.

If you’re a fan of Harry Potter, are you sad that there’ll never be another book or movie? I’m not an HP fan and also fuck JK Rowling.

If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I have an older sister.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Since like 2020.

What happened last time you got drunk? I don’t know.

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? No idea. It’s naturally pretty straight.

Do you bite your toe nails? No.

Last thing you said out loud? Some bullshit about work.

Last time you laughed your head off? I don’t know.

What do you want right this second? For my brother in law to not exist.

How are you sitting? On my ass.

Your mood? Annoyed.

Did you sleep alone last night? No. My husband and a kitty slept with me.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? I can’t.

Do you find piercings attractive? Eh.

What were you doing last night at midnight? Sleeping.

Will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? Probably.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None.

Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? Nah.

Do you like potato chips? I do.

Do you give out second chances way too easily? Nah.

[sha-ka-re]

Ds9 characters on vibes alone

Sisko: the dad that sits asleep in front of the tv but wakes up and says “I was watching that” if you change the channel

Jake: the kid that traded his entire lunch at school for three of his friend’s futurama dvds

Kira: that Christian horse girl who also pops xannies sometimes

Dax: the night shift McDonald’s employee who gives you a massive fistful of mac sauce for your two junior chickens as a reward for you looking gay.

Bashir: the dude who constantly plays hacky sack but is complete dogshit at it.

Odo: the retiree who snoops in your bag and asks for your receipt at the exit of Walmart.

Worf: the kid in school who always hushed the class when the teacher started to get mad.

Quark: the guy who sends you pics of his soft dick and lost thousands of dollars to crypto

Rom: the cool fun janitor at your elementary school

Nog: that kid who always one upped your magic powers when playing pretend, like, “oh you’re a wolf of ice and fire? Well I’m a lighting and water and earth wolf lion and also I am an angel and a demon combined.” Okay, kid. Whatever.

Garak: the grey haired gay guy who works at michaels and calls the rude white moms cunts directly to their face

Dukat: the guy in a college dorm who wears dress shirts and slacks all the time and has right wing political signage in his window.

Ziyal: that artsy kid who moved to the big city the first chance they got who you haven’t heard from since.

[ezzydean]

"You really can’t cook, can you?” - Stiles and Derek

have some words written while not entirely sober

1k under the cut

Stiles is pretty sure he’s never getting this smell out of his clothes, or his apartment for that matter.  It would be downright embarrassing, starting a fire while cooking dinner and all that.  If it wasn’t completely mortifying thanks to the fact that his neighbor is 1) all kinds of hot, 2) a volunteer firefighter who is more than happy to educate Stiles on cooking safety dos and don’ts, and 3) ridiculously adorable looking when woken up from a nap thanks to the apartment building’s fire alarm going off.  Oh.  And because Stiles owns a freaking diner downtown so he knows, you know, all about cooking safely and not starting freaking fires.  He wasn’t even making a fancy multi-course meal or complicated dish.  No.

Stiles set off the damn fire alarms in the entire building making himself some mac and cheese.  Not even homemade mac and cheese.  No.  After the week he had he was going for cheap, boxed, milk and cheese powder mac and cheese.

And he set it on fire.  Because this is his life.

“You really can’t cook, can you?” Hot neighbor asks, arms crossed as they stand next to each other in their parking lot.

“Nothing I say right now will change your mind considering the number of times we’ve done this in the last month and the smoke that was coming out of my window so, you know, whatever.  Sure.  Fine.  I can’t cook to save my life.”

Hot neighbor raises his eyebrows at Stiles’ tone but not even that is enough to make Stiles do more than shrug in his general direction despite the fact that normally Stiles would be flailing a little at the attention.  Because he doesn’t really preen or anything like that.  He flails.  It’s not a pretty reaction but it’s the only one he’s ever had so he’s learned to live with it.

“It’s not much but when they let us back in if you want you can come over and have some of my leftovers.  My sister was supposed to visit last night but had to cancel so I have a lot of food.”

“Deal,” Stiles says.  He doesn’t even care what the leftovers are.  It could be raw onions and overcooked steak for all he cares so long as he doesn’t have to cook it himself.

Stiles waves sheepishly at Danny when he walks out of the apartment building and shakes his head at Stiles.  Honestly Stiles blames the overly sensitive smoke detectors more than anything.  Those coupled with the fact that by the time he gets home he’s ready to fall asleep on his feet make for a lot of Danny shaking his head at Stiles.

“All clear,” Danny calls out.

Fifteen minutes later Stiles is sitting in his hot neighbor’s apartment staring down at a plate of roast beef and mashed potatoes and trying to understand how the man standing on the other side of the kitchen is real.  Because he can’t be hot and sweet and a volunteer firefighter and be able to cook this well and be real.  He’s got to be some sort of figment of Stiles’ overworked imagination.  Or something.

Hot neighbor — Derek, he finds out a few awkward minutes later — just stares at him when he says as much out loud.  Then again he might be staring because Stiles hasn’t stopped eating, or talking, since that first bite where he was speechless for a good forty-some seconds.  Because damn Derek can cook.

“This is the best thing I’ve eaten in weeks,” Stiles groans as he takes his last bite.  “Seriously, dude.”

“Don’t call me dude,” Derek grumbles and even that almost seems right out of his dreams.

“Should I call you sir instead?”

Derek blushes and Stiles slouches down in his chair with a grin.  Okay so maybe this whole almost setting his kitchen on fire thing might not be the worst thing to happen in the world.  Nice.

—

Erica pokes her head into the diner’s kitchen.

“Someone at the counter wants to talk to you.”

“If it’s another mom that’s angry and claiming I’m being racist for not having a kid’s menu again I swear to everything holy I quit.”

“Still not sure how that was racist,” Boyd says from the prep area.

“Me either!”

“No,” Erica interrupts before he can rile himself up.  “Just a couple of guys who said they wanted to compliment you in person.”

Oh.  Well.  That wasn’t so bad.

He asks Boyd to take over the last couple things on the grill as he follows Erica through the door.

And almost turns right back around when he sees Danny sitting at the counter with a grin on his face.

“There he is,” Danny says loudly before Stiles can turn and run.  “The best chef I know.  As long as he’s cooking anywhere but his own apartment.”

Derek looks up from his phone and nearly drops it on the counter when he spots Stiles.

“How, exactly, are you such a disaster that you nearly set your apartment on fire while cooking a dozen times in the last month yet you apparently are a cook at one of the most popular diners in town?”  Derek raises his eyebrows and Stiles flails a little, nearly smacking Erica.  She deftly avoids him, used to him by now, and leans on the counter to watch.

“Oh he’s not just a cook,” Erica practically purrs.  Derek looks at her expectantly.  “He’s the head cook and he owns this place.  Over ninety percent of the menu items are his recipes and he cooks the lunch and dinner rushes almost every day.”

“And yet,” Danny says.

“Shut up, Danny.”

“Nope.”

“Can’t cook to save your life, huh?”

“Just… shut up, dude.”

“I told you.  Don’t call me dude.”

“And you never answered last time: should I call you sir?”

Derek slides over a piece of paper and grins at Stiles.  “How about you just call me and we’ll go from there?”

[amyscascadingtabs]

give you my wild, give you a child

"stupid numbers, think they’re so great. i'd love to see numbers give you a baby."

inspired by that one line in 8x08 renewal, because he really did give her a baby.

read on ao3

It's been three days and Amy can't stop crying.

 Sometimes she thinks it's stopped, that she'll finally have a stable moment to talk to her husband or eat a meal in peace or facetime some of the twenty or so relatives on her list, but it feels like it’s never more than minutes before her emotions swim to surface again and something new brings out the vibrating sobs that have seemed to characterize this day. As it turns out, even newly pregnant Amy has got nothing on three days postpartum Amy.

 That she cries about the big, life-changing things doesn’t surprise her. When she wakes up after a night of minimal sleep and sees Mac in the bedside crib next to her, she cries because she’s so grateful; that everything went well, that their baby is finally here and that he's perfect beyond words. Then she cries because she thinks about what could have happened if it hadn't gone well, because she gave birth in a makeshift birthing suite in a police precinct, and so many things could have gone wrong it’s a miracle nothing did. When she gets out of the shower, she cries seeing herself in the bathroom mirror, because she's proud of her body in a way she's never experienced before. Then she cries because she also barely recognizes the person staring back at her, still looking six months pregnant except with hospital underwear and nursing pads in her bra. When she has breakfast after feeding Mac and tries to read the newspaper, she cries because so many terrible things are happening in the world all the time, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to protect this child from a world that sometimes seems to be getting more and more cruel by the day. Then she cries out of guilt for feeling that way, because she’s supposed to be enjoying this baby bubble, and what kind of mother even is she for daring to think about anything but her baby right now?

  As the day goes on, however, her reasons for crying begin to feel increasingly ridiculous. She cries because she’s so relieved to be drinking regular coffee again, then because it doesn’t taste the same as decaf and she’s gotten so used to it that the caffeine tastes weird now. She cries because the coffee goes cold anyway when Mac begins to whimper and suck on his fingers in the way he seems to do whenever he’s hungry and she has to drop everything to feed him another time. She cries when Jake turns on the television and a commercial for diapers comes on, because she can’t believe they get to buy them now. Then she cries when Mac has finished eating because the red flannel she borrowed slash stole from Jake won’t button properly, and she realizes one of the buttons has gone in the wrong hole and she has to redo the whole thing. When Jake offers to help her with it, that makes her cry too, because the way he’s not laughing at her right now but patiently trying to solve her problems is making her feel so loved she doesn't know how to thank him.

  The thing that makes her cry most of all, though, is watching Jake and Mac together. She always knew that sight would drive her crazy, and it’s part of the reason she wanted to have kids with him so much in the first place, but not even in her most indulgent fantasies about their future could she have pictured this. As grateful as she is over the fact that she gets to be a mom, getting to see Jake be a dad is a close second. He loves their son so much, and Mac so clearly loves him too, and Amy has to remind herself of the nine months she's spent carrying this child by herself in order not to feel jealous when Mac stops fussing the moment Jake picks him up. He looks so tiny when Jake holds him, the back of his head fitting perfectly in Jake's palm, and the care with which he’s handling him keeps making her emotional. He's always talking to him, sometimes whispers she can't hear and sometimes praise for her which she can, and that makes her cry too. He even chats to him when he changes his diapers, which Amy hides behind the door frame just so she can hear, failing to stifle a giggle when he asks in a fake interrogation voice what Mac has to say to his defense for making such a mess. He wakes up with her in the middle of the night when she has to breastfeed to get her endless glasses of water and granola bars when it makes her feel starving, and then he lets Mac burp him in the face and spit up on the back of his shirt before he falls back asleep curled up on his chest. He leans his chin on the top of Mac’s head to smell that perfect baby scent, running his finger over those cute neck rolls, and the smile on his face when he looks back at Amy makes her completely lose it, because this is what she dreamed of all along.

  This is what she imagined when they visited her brother Christian’s new baby shortly before they got married and Jake spent the better part of an hour making funny faces to the child in his arms. This is what she panicked over when he said he wasn't sure if he wanted kids, because she had always thought. This is what she thought of those nights after another timed round of unenthusiastic sex, trying to keep the hope alight until that single line would once more tell them not this time. She had felt it in his teary smile when she showed him that first positive test, in how hard he'd squeezed her hand at their first ultrasound when their baby’s heartbeat had filled the room, in the absolute joy on his face the first time he’d managed to put his hand on her stomach just in time to feel their son kick, and now it's right in front of her and almost too much for her heart to take.

 She's so tired, and she's sore and overwhelmed and worried about a billion different things, but she's never felt so grateful.

 That's what makes her cry floods at three a.m. when Mac seems to have finished eating and she comes back from the bathroom to find Jake still sitting up with him in bed, holding him with a hypnotised look on his face. He doesn’t even seem tired, even though he must be, is just looking at his son like he’s holding the entire world in his arms and doesn’t ever want to let go. She always knew seeing him with a baby would be incredible, those surprisingly toned biceps curling around a fragile little human and those heart eyes focused on one thing only, but maybe she hadn’t expected not being able to watch it without breaking into tears.

 “Jeez, Ames,” he says when he looks up, the expression on his face changing to one of concern. “Are you okay? Honestly?”

“Yeah,” she sniffles and dries her eyes again as she sits down on the bed. The skin on her cheeks is stinging at this point. “I just can’t believe this is my life.”

“Why not?” Mac’s pacifier glides out of his mouth, and Jake puts it back with two fingers before he can notice anything. “We’re right here, babe. We’re very much real.”

“Sometimes I thought it was never going to happen.” She hiccups. “All the times we’ve been apart. The months we fought to have him. How freaking long and exhausting being pregnant was. And now I have him, and you, and I’m just so grateful I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“That’s why you’re crying?”

“I think I don’t even know why I’m crying anymore. I’m so sleep-deprived.”

“Yeah.” Jake smirks. “But I get it. I’m really, really grateful too.”

 Mac makes a short gurgling sound that Amy takes to mean he agrees. She reaches out so his hand can wrap around her ring finger, feeling him squeezing it tight in the cutest grip. The grey striped pajamas has little mittens on it to keep him from scratching herself, but Mac gets upset whenever they pull them down, so Amy figures they'll just have to keep filing his nails instead. Their son is already both opinionated and stubborn, and she loves it about him, because she loves everything about who he is. He's perfect, and he's hers, and she still can't quite believe it even though he's right there in Jake's arms. It's all her dreams coming true, and it's making all the hard things feel so worth it.

 “Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for giving me a baby,” she whispers. She’s too tired, barely even knows what she's saying anymore, but looking at the two of them, all she can think about is how incredibly lucky and thankful she feels.

Jake blinks in disbelief, grinning at her. “Wait, I gotta make sure I heard this right. Did you just thank me for giving you a baby?”

“Uh-huh?”

“And you're serious about this?”

“Well… yeah.”

“So you mean after nine months,” he says, still wide-eyed, “of you telling me, minimum a couple times a week but pretty much daily toward the end, that I could never understand what you're going through, and then you shouting some lovely descriptions at me whilst you were literally pushing him out, and also earlier this evening when you cried because I can't breastfeed him for you – you’re thanking me?”

“Some of it was a team effort,” she insists. “You helped.”

“Oh yeah, my nards sure are loving the credit.”

“Don't be gross.”

“Sorry.” He smiles, a little bashfully, stroking his fingers back and forth over Mac’s forehead instead of looking at her. “But Ames, c’mon. It was a pretty limited effort compared to what you did.”

“Maybe they’re not the same thing.” She leans her head on his shoulder. Mac is still holding on to her finger, but his grip is getting looser now. “But you were part of it too, babe.”

“Really?” He’s blushing. “What did I do that was so special?”

“Let's see. You didn’t laugh at me when I kept crying at everything the first weeks. Rosa made fun of me on a daily basis, but you just hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay. You let me sleep in when I had days off, even though I pretended I wanted you to wake me up. You fixed food for me without telling me what it was, and put it in front of me before I could feel sick thinking about it.” She shakes her head at the memory of those, few but complicated, weeks, and how hard they’d had to work around it. “You kept telling me I looked great even when my body kept changing and it all felt weird, and helped me pick out maternity wear when I didn’t want to do it on my own. I don’t know that I would have taken barely any bump pictures if you hadn't made me. You listened to all my research about the best strollers and pacifiers and cribs, and you did those courses and read all those books with me, and you came to almost every scan and held my hand so tight every time. You came home with onesies and hats because you thought they were too cute not to buy, and you gave me massages whenever I wanted them, and you even slept on the couch a couple nights at the end when I got angry at you for snoring. You barely even complained about it.”

“I complained a little,” Jake mumbles. “When you couldn’t hear me.”

“Fine. And lastly, you rode a horse through the city to get to me while I was in labor, and you didn’t even act like seeing him be born was gross.”

“I mean, it was a little bit gross.” Jake lifts Mac so he can kiss his forehead when he whimpers. “No offense, bud. I mean you looked perfect, I didn’t think you looked like a slimy alien even for a second, didn’t cross my mind, et cetera.”

“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes. “Point is, babe, you were there. You're here now. I know I did the actual work, but you were the one who made sure I could. I don’t know how I would have made it through without you. So… thank you.”

 He doesn't give her any witty comebacks for that, only a shy smile.

“I love you,” Amy all but whispers through the tears that fight their way through her determination to keep them in. “Both of you. So much.”

“Love you, Ames.”

She kisses him, putting her hands on each side of his thighs so she can reach over Mac. Kissing is a lot more complicated than usual when both his hands are busy and none of them wants to risk crushing their son, but it's still nice, feeling his soft lips on hers and squeezing his lower lip between both of hers for just a moment before pulling apart.

“It's hard to kiss you while you're holding a baby,” she says, and Jake grimaces. “That might be the only bad thing about it.”

“My bad. I’m just going to put him down so we can make out all night.”

“Don't you dare. He currently doesn't have a boob in his mouth and he's still not crying, you're not doing anything to risk that now.” Amy pulls the comforter up to her chin. “Wake me up when he needs to eat again and not a second earlier.”

Jake chuckles at her as she turns out the light and snuggles up close to him, but he makes no move to put Mac down or even protest, and she didn't think it was possible to love him even more. Her heart has definitely grown with becoming a mom, much like everyone told her about, but most seem to have forgotten to prepare her for how much it would also grow when it came to her partner.

 “I still think I’m the one who should say thank you,” Jake whispers just as she closes her eyes, and Amy can't help but smile. “If we're talking about who gave who a baby.”

“Jake, just accept the praise.”

“Oh, yeah.” She doesn't need to see his face to know that he's grinning. “I’ve locked it in a little box in my brain and I’m gonna keep it as gloat material forever, bringing it up when you least expect it.”

“That's great, babe.”

“Mm-hmm. We both know the truth, though.” Jake's left hand strokes over the top of her head, and Amy has to look up to see that Mac is still resting safely on his right arm and doesn't seem to have noticed a thing. Another tear fight its way down her cheek at the thought of how safe he must feel with him. This time, she doesn’t even bother to wipe it away.

 ~