#and losing yourself to a cause. but thats neither here nor there

[scholar-of-golbetty]

maybe i should explain my au a little bit. rambling under cut, hopefully its coherent<3

basically, this au is just a rabbit hole of "what if Fionna & Cake(show) didn't happen?"

so, what would happen? well, here, simon would continue to spiral in his attempts to get to betty, contact her, anything. he begins to subject himself to more isolation, not noticed much by the people in his life, given theyre busy with their own lives, and see him as much more reserved. and, well, what reason would they have to worry? everyone needs time to themselves. it's not like marceline never hears from him, it's not like finn never sees him around, so no worries, right?

after so many failed attempts to get to the chaos goddess, simon's getting desperate. it's getting to where nothing else holds any merit to him, he has to get to betty. he HAS to. that's all there is to it.....

soon enough, his whole life is dedicated to this cause. not just finding her, talking to her, but understanding GOLB and GOLB's philosophies. maybe this could help him, seeing how betty's fused with the god. but GOLB's philosophies, what the Scholars of GOLB would follow, that's pretty different from the betty he'd known. of course, she's different now, but she couldnt be exactly like this merciless deity. so he mixes his knowledge, or what he could remember, of betty, with what he studies of GOLB. follows a sort of mixed belief of the two. hence, he is now Simon Petrikov, first scholar of GOLBetty

and here's where it gets weird. i couldn't, personally, decide on one or another trail for this au to follow, so it splits off into two different subsections. Devotion and Obsession .

Devotion: simon, in this au, is fueled by faith in the thought that he'll be able to, at least find, GOLBetty. that he'll once again be able to talk to betty, as different as she is now. that's still his fiance, he's still devoted to her, he thinks. still, he isolates himself, spirals down a dark path, but he doesn't lose himself. people worry, but ultimately, he's still Simon. simon, with a red geometric ring, digging into his hand and leaving small, but stinging, scratches and scars. simon, with an endless drive for a hopeless endeavor. he's still simon petrikov

Obsession: here, he spirals bad. nothing matters but GOLBetty. not a moment of his life is meaningful if it isn't spent looking for her, studying how he could find her, contact her. hell, even how he could appease her as a goddess. worship her, give offerings, pray, whatever might grab her attention, or get him closer to her. his life doesn't matter if it isn't for her. the rituals he attempts delve into darker magic, blood rituals(to which he loses a finger), things he shouldn't be doing lest he anger some other god, or lose too much blood, or get himself possessed, etc etc..... he becomes a bit manipulative to people around him, to try furthering his goal. convinces prismo that he hadn't actually gotten a wish, and deserves a redo. uses the fact that prismo might relate to losing a loved one, like jake, to guilt him into bending the rules a bit... simon wishes for the crown, from some other universe. who it was taken from, it doesn't matter, so long as he can use it. it's different, of course, from a different world.... he still becomes cursed, his memory only minorly affected, but the ice is all the same. his tolerance for magic is much greater now, given what he's been putting himself through for the sake of GOLBetty, not to mention talismans he'd been carrying. it keeps the crown from completely overtaking, but he is still cursed. everything he does is for GOLBetty

now that that's out of the way, im not entirely sure if the Obsession sub-AU simon's twisted, freezer simon look should be from this alternate dimension crown, or a result of another ritual gone awry. open to suggestions!

[trash0receptacle]

Headcannon

Before that however: I’m sorry for not being active lately I’ve been very, stressed, busy, and tired. Since school started back my mood definitely declined a shit ton. With that being said writing is a way of coping for me so this is really just gonna be what I need today. If it helps you then that’s wonderful too.

Tw: Deppresion, Anxiety, and Anorexia

Paring: Lucifer x f/Mc

Also the way I right Luke is supposed to be taken platonically.

(Mc’s Pov)

Life had been shitty lately a lot more shitty than usual. I suppose it started when I heard some of the other succubi talking about me in on the way to class.

“She’s so lucky!”

“I know why does that bitch get to live with the brothers?”

“What do they even see in her?”

Sure I shouldn’t have taken the comments so personally but hell I take everything personally. So thats when my self doubt started forming roots in my mind again.

Before devildom I already had a lot of unresolved trauma and pain but the brothers really helped me. They were there for me when I needed them and made me feel wanted however after Belphie escaped the attic things went downhill for me mentally. The situation caused me a massive relapse and I began my destructive habits again. It went unnoticed for the most part mainly because they didn’t know the full scale of my past. All they knew is that I struggled and was medicated but nothing else. Perhaps Barbatos knew but he never said anything and I don’t believe he truly knew what went on inside my head either.

Now in the present moment I am contemplating what the succubi were saying about me. They’re right, “what did they see in me?” Surely it wasn’t my looks. I’m decently smart but I have no work ethic. The only thing I know I’m good at is being kind yet I’m a bitch half the time. So that’s when it came back to my body. The thing I’ve always hated about myself because I was never skinny enough, tall enough, pretty enough, curvy enough. I was never enough for someone to care about me.

I started skipping meals here and there. I still ate 2 out of three meals but I figured losing weight couldn’t hurt but then before I knew it I was lucky to even eat once a day. I was always good at making myself lose weight but not so drastically that you could tell I starved myself. For the most part I seemed healthy. However since I was going unchecked it kept getting worse. First my curves disappeared, then it was my hips sticking out, after that my cheeks began to sink, and finally my hair began coming out when I brushed it. I knew what I’d done but I couldn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to hurt them and in the past asking for help only got me ridiculed or hurt.

“No one wants to here about your problems mc it makes us sad.”

“You wonder why I don’t like you!”

“You always beg for compliments!”

“Your fat anyway.”

Those words just kept circulating inside my mind and wouldn’t stop. I wanted to get better I really did but it was hard to force myself to eat. However I couldn’t rely on anyone else for fear of hurting them or them hurting me so I stayed silent. That was until my ddd pinged and I received a text from Lucifer.

Lucifer: Please come to my study mc.

Mc: Uh sure... is everything alright?

No response.

This is unlike Lucifer whats wrong? Is he mad at me? I guess I shouldn’t keep him waiting otherwise he will get mad. I got up and walked to his study inside the library. On the way I noticed the house of Lamenation was eerily quiet. There was no noise besides the sound of my feet walking through the hallways. When I arrived at the door to the study I was surprised to not only see Lucifer but everyone else?

Simeon resembled a worried parent, Luke seemed confused and angry, Diavolo was most serious I’d ever seen him, Barbatos stared at me with what I assume was pity, Solomon looked at me like I was a ghost. However the brothers appeared in worst shape. Mammon seemed on the verge of crying, Levi had guilt written over his face, Satan like Luke was angry angry, Amso was for once frowning, and Belphie and Beel looked disappointed. However I couldn’t read Lucifer’s expression but I could tell something was definitely off.

“Uh hey guys... what’s wrong you look like someone died or something?” I tried to laugh off the uneasy mood in the room but it was to no avail.

“Mc if you could sit down we have some things we must discuss with you.” Lucifer spoke solemnly

They had to have figured it out. Of course I knew this would come out eventually but it still felt like a stab to the heart none the less. I sat down not even listening to the others words. All my energy was focused into not breaking down in front of them but I’d stayed “strong” for too long and tears began to silently fall down my face. The talking stopped and I felt them all look at me which just made the tears fall harder. I felt my wall crumbling down as the final straw on the camels back was placed. I just cried for what felt like hours. Once I began to calm down I finally spoke in between sobs and breaths

“I-.... I’m so-...sorry.”

The room became silent once more. No of them knew how to respond to the broken girl infront of them

“I just didn’t want to burden you guys.... you have your own problems and don’t need to put up with mine” “nor would you want to” I mumbled the last part but I didn’t go unheard.

Luke got up and ran over to me enveloping me in a hug. He just stood there hugging me as if he didn’t I would fade away. I just hugged him back feeling slightly better by the angel’s hug.

Simeon was the first to speak

“Mc we aren’t angry at you. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are worried.”

A silent agreement was exchanged throughout the room.

Diavolo spoke next

“While Barbatos wouldn’t divulge all of what he knew for the sake of your privacy he warned me that you needed an intervention.”

I chuckled halfheartedly knowing my hypothesis was indeed correct.

“Well I figured it would come to this eventually.”

*time skip*

“Can I go back to my room now?” I whisper

I wasn’t really asking rather I just said it and got up to leave. The others stayed still likely digesting the information I’d given them. I felt ashamed and exposed. I hated seeing how much my words affected them and I really needed to be alone at the moment. Eventually I made it to my room. Walking in I closed the door and just cried.

(Lucifer’s Pov)

No one bothered to utter a word after Mc left and no one went after her either. Eventually my brothers excused themselves to go where, I’m not sure. I couldn’t tell if it was minutes or hours that passed but Solomon, Simeon, and Luke left saying they should head back to purgatory hall. Which left Barbatos, Diavolo, and I alone in the study. For the first time since I’d known the prince I couldn’t tell what was going through his head. Barbatos eventually composed himself however and turned to me.

“I believe My lord and I should make our way back to the palace..”

I just nodded in agreement as the pair left me alone with my own thoughts. I’d never seen that side of Mc before. Of course I knew somewhat of Mc’s history either from her file or her own account but clearly things had been left out.

I eventually got up and left to go to my room knowing I wouldn’t be able to focus on my work even if I wanted to. On the way there I passed by Mc’s room and noticed the light was on. I debated knocking or leaving her alone when a voice called out.

“If your gonna stand at my door like a creep you might as well come in.”

And so I did.

“Hey Lucifer...”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Foot steps. I can tell who’s in the hallway by how they walk.”

“I see then.”

The room’s atmosphere felt awkward as neither one of us bother or start conversation. So I simply sat down on the floor across from Mc, who had her head in her knees. (The fetal position) Eventually she brought her head up to wipe tears from her eyes and said with a broken laugh.

“I’m sorry you had to seem me like this. I look pathetic right now..”

“Mc why do you say these things about yourself?”

“Why not it’s how I view my self Lucifer. I’ve heard it from your mouth before”

“I’m just a mere human.”

I cringed at the memory knowing she were right of course.

“Mc I-“

“You don’t need to apologize or explain I understand I pissed you off then. It was just an example”

Wanting to change the topic of discussion I asked her a question.

“Why didn’t you come to any of us?”

“Denial...”

“Denial of what?”

“That it got out of control.”

“Is that all?”

“Not exactly...”

“Would you care to elaborate?”

“I- just please don’t get angry...”

I silently nodded my head as a watched Mc loosen up a bit.

“I think it might be my lack of trust towards really anyone.”

Mc started looking into space as she continued.

“I’m terrified of needing people or letting people help me. Part of it is when I have in the past I ended up hurt and alone. So I stopped I started being the one to help others.... then I needed help and I was cast out like a piece of trash. According to them I was selfish for needing affirmation and love. So that was when I decided I didn’t need that again.”

I sat silently contemplating her words.

“I’m truly sorry mc.”

“I would say it’s fine but it’s not. It hurts like hell but that’s life isn’t it? You learn to love and trust then you get your heart stomped out like a burning ember. The people you love leave you or die and you can’t do shit about it.”

“Wait what do you mean by die?”

“You know this sounds awful but you should be thankful Lilith didn’t suffer... sure it hurts that she’s gone but you are able to remember her before then since her “death” was quick. Painless.”

“I’ve had to watch the people who were my Lilith for lack of better terms die and suffer for months or years. I watched their bodies grow weak and feeble. However I was a child then and couldn’t do anything.”

I didn’t know how to respond so we sat in silence until

“Why’d you tell me this Mc?”

“Honestly I don’t know. Likely it’s because my body is physically exhausted and my filter was turned off.”

I noticed the tiredness Mc was trying to hide for the first time.

“You should sleep mc.”

“That’s ironic coming from you Lucifer.”

“I’m being serious mc.”

“What are you going to do? Mak-“

She didn’t get to finish her thought as I picked her up and carried her to my room. I knew she shouldn’t be left alone and I wanted to make sure she would be alright.

We arrived at my room and I deposited her on my bed. I sat in on of the chairs by the fire figuring she’d want the bed.

“Ok but why is your bed more comfortable than mine? Like sis you don’t sleep wtf!”

I just sighed knowing she was probably out of it but she was kinda of adorable when pouty.

Eventually she quieted down and her breathing became slower.

Mc’s POV:

“Mc you need to wake up”

“Five more minutes”

“Mc wake up!”

I felt the covers being ripped off. A dick move really.

“Ahh I’m up I’m up asshole!”

Wait why is Lucifer looking down at me? Why am I in his room? Shit I cussed him out. Well death never seemed that terrible

“Well if you’re awake now you need to come downstairs to eat breakfast. No, you can not object to this either.”

With that he left probably to go make sure the house isn’t on fire. I walked over to his bathroom and splashed water in my face to wake me up and noticed how emaciated I appeared.

Where my cheeks always so pronounced? Or when did my eyes start looking glassy and dark? I brushed it off not wanting to delve deeper into my insecurities. So I made my way to the dinning room. When I got there all conversation stopped and 7 pairs of eyes shot in my direction. I awkwardly made my way to the table and sat down.

I tried eating breakfast but it’s always been something I’ve never been able to stomach. I honestly never feel hungry when I wake up and it’s not like devildom food is exactly tasty. I was about to get up to leave when

“Mc you need to eat more.”

“Lucifer is right mc.”

“Ok...”

I sat back down and tried to eat what was on my plate but couldn’t so I sat there looking at it. I looked over to mammon’s plate and noticed how much food his had compared to mine and figured at least one of them knew it was a process to get me to eat again.

“I really can’t eat anymore otherwise I might be sick.” With no objections I got up and took my plate to the kitchen.

As I was washing it in the sink slowly some of the brothers came in aswell. First Asmo offered to take me shopping but I didn’t feel up to it. Then Satan asked if I wanted to go to the library again I didn’t exactly want people to see me like this so I declined. So levi offered we could play video games or something and I took him up on his offer.

He made sure I ate lunch that day which I honestly forget about sometimes. By the end of the day the other brothers excluding Amso, Satan, and Lucifer were all piled in Levi’s room.

Belphie was passed out in the bathtub of all places. Mammon was trying to impress me with his video game skills and Beel was munching on snacks behind us. It felt normal.

Eventually I got tired of it and decided to have some alone time. I was on my bed watching tik toks. (But fr tho I do have a problem with tik tok) Laughing at some etc when a knock was at my door.

“Come in”

I said this without looking up figuring it was beel looking for snacks or even Satan wanting to come in here and read. When I didn’t hear anything I looked back up from my phone surprised to see Lucifer standing there.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I just heard laughing and was wondering is you were alright.”

“Oh yeah sorry about that I’m just watching stuff in my phone.”

“Would you mind if I joined you?” He smirked

Damn not that smirk. Stop blushing Mc you got this. It’s just Lucifer.

“Uh... sure...”

Damn that wasn’t smooth.

End. (Unless I am asked to make a part two)

So I’ve been working on this for a while because I’ve wanted to make something actually decent. I wanted to do a happy ending and remind you guys that you’re amazing. And no matter who you are you’re loved and remember that.

- Caroline



[firaknight]

“How’re you so... unbothered by all this?! You haven’t shown a single bit of concern for anyone’s well being, but especially mine! I’ve been risking my life and you’ve been unbothered with the fact that I could just up and die in my sleep and none of you would know?!?! Could you show a single bit of fucking genuine care for once?!?!”

Gooey was silent, letting Adeleines words echo around them both. He stared up at the stars, a vacant look on his face. He could see Adeleines face out of his peripherals. She was crying, tears streaking down her pale cheeks, the streaks emphasizing the dark circles under her eyes. Her expression was a twisted mix of pure anger and deep sorrow. He could faintly see her aura, a deep purple-red; clear pain and upset radiating from her. He glanced to the grass below him, lost in thought.

“I have shown genuine care, I just show it differently than others. I’ve been worried about you this whole time, believe it or not.”

“Stop lying.”

“I’m not lying. I don’t feel the same sense of urgency everyone else feels when you’re in danger. I feel...” He took a moment, trying to think of the right way to describe the feeling.

“...Fear, but relief. I’m worried for you, but I know you’ll come out ok. There’s no point in worrying about something I can’t help with nor help control, right?”

Adeleine didn’t answer. Gooey glanced over at her, noticing how she was trembling, tears dripping off her face, leaving little stains in her smock. It was clear that she was trying to bottle everything up and shove it down again.

“Addie, if you’re upset, you can cry.”

She didn’t answer again, simply opting for a rotten glare. The red in her aura seemed to overlap the purple in that moment. Gooey looked away, turning his attention back to the stars.

Just give her a moment. She’s upset and she doesn’t think the same way you do. She just needs a second.

Silence hung between them, neither seeming to want to break it. Gooey was content waiting for Adeleine to calm herself down. He wasn’t a fan of her bottling things up, but she did need a moment to calm down. She was heated, too many emotions overlapping one another. Her head was too clouded to think clearly, and that can spell disaster. He knew she’d be easier to talk to when she’d calmed down a little.

“I’m scared...” Her voice cracked, sadness creeping through her tone. She struggled a hiccup, trying to hide how upset she was. Gooey slowly looked over at her, his tongue pointed up at the stars. Her aura was a mix of purple and blue now, the red having completely faded.

Sadness... mixed with... guilt... and... a sense of pain? Those first two make sense, but why the last one? Did she get an injury we didn’t know about?

“Scared of what?”

“Scared of losing everything...” Adeleine gripped her smock in an attempt to stop herself from shaking. Her breath hitched, her bottom lip quivering as tears started flowing again. Gooey watched as a near black tint overcame her aura. He flinched, his mouth eye coming into view. It was a natural response to panic like that, considering he hadn’t seen black in an aura since the Void Termina incident, but he quickly realized that the black tint in her aura wasn’t corruption; she was panicking. Fear had overtaken her thoughts, filling whatever was there with worst case scenarios that stuck like superglue. His mouth eye disappeared, his tongue pulling back. He shuffled over to her and pushed his body against her. The contact seemed to help.

“It’s ok, Addie. Whatever you’re thinking of won’t happen. You’re scaring yourself over things that will never happen.” He heard her breathing hitch, a cough escaping her. He opened one eye, watching the black tint slowly leave her aura. He had to stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief.

“I’m scared that if I mess up... even once... *hic* t-that... everyone I-I care about... t-they’ll...”

“Everyone’s going to be fine. We’ll get them back, I promise.” Gooey wrapped his tongue around her hand, letting her grip it in response. It didn’t hurt, even though Gooey was convinced that it probably should’ve. A new aura entered his peripherals, a soft green glow outlining a small figure in the darkness.

“I’m sorry, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Adeleine recognized the voice on the spot, barely turning her head to try and see the figure.

“Go away, Dreambert...” Her voice was incredibly quiet, almost hoarse.

“Adeleine-“

“I said go away...” She was just a tad louder that time, but still nowhere near her normal volume.

“I’m not going anywhere. You’re upset. I refuse to let a friend like you be hurt like this.” He floated towards her, the bottom nubs on his head flicking intently. In an instant, his expression softened, seemingly having picked up on her aura. He floated around to face her, his arms outstretched.

“Oh, you poor thing, come here.” His tone was soft, gentle in nature. Adeleine barely scooted forwards, meeting his embrace. Gooey quickly unwrapped his tongue and joined them, nestling himself in her arms. Her breath hitched, louder than before, a whimper leaving her lips. She tightened her hold, and the dam broke. She let out a sobbing wail, no longer able to control herself.

“Shh, it’ll be alright.” Gooey could hear her sobs echo through the woods around them. It was a miracle Ribbon hadn’t woken up at this point. A sudden sharp pain got his attention; Adeleine had dug her nails into the back of him. She probably didn’t mean to, she was still crying pretty heavily, so he brushed it aside. Her comfort was more important than his own at that moment.

“It’s ok, Adeleine. Try to let yourself relax, ok? We’re here for you, kid.” Dreamberts voice reached her ears. She struggled to slow her sobs, only succeeding in starting up a small coughing fit. She could feel Gooey gently patting her back with his tongue, a clear gesture of comfort. She sniffled, pulling the two closer, burying her face between them. She shut her eyes and blocked out all the senses she could, taking slow, deep breaths. The only sense she didn’t try to block out is her sense of smell. With each deep breath, she focused on the smells of her friends. Such a thing had become a comfort for her. Whenever she was upset like this, Ribbon would hug her and ask her to pick out things she could sense. The velvety feeling of her dress, the smell of cinnamon rolls that always seemed to stick to her, the gentle fluttering of her wings; anything she could sense like that was something she should focus on.

“Deep breaths, Addie.” Her breath hitched again, a hiccup or two following. She took a deep breath, slowly letting it out. At first, the scent of metal hit her senses. It wasn’t blood, thankfully, but it was prominent. Following the scent of metal came that strangely unique Dark Matter smell. It was hard to describe, but it almost smelled sweet. Following that was a bitter scent, akin to orange peels.

That’s Gooey...

She took another deep breath, letting her mind wrap around the scents she picked up on already. A wave of chamomile and lavender hit her senses, heavy, but oddly light at the same time. Notes of charcoal slipped in, faint and airy in nature. She could just barely make out that fresh laundry smell, tucked beneath the other scents.

...And thats Dreambert...

She let out a shaky sigh, slowly sitting upright and loosening her grip on the two. Dreambert gently floated out of her arms, offering a hand for her to take.

“Come, let’s get you in bed. You must be exhausted.” His voice wrapped around her mind, quelling any stray thoughts that might cause trouble. She’d stopped crying, and he was right; she was exhausted. She weakly took his hand, letting herself be led back towards the little base camp they’d all set up. She barely registered him humming something. It sounded like a lullaby, and she recognized it, but from where? She was too tired to really think about it. Something about that song he was humming was too difficult to resist. With each step, she grew more and more tired, sleep starting to take hold. Gooey seemed to notice her lapse in consciousness, using his tongue to keep her arms propped around him.

Guess I forgot that Dreambert can, uh, do that.

He looked up at Adeleine, who was falling asleep mid-walk. She wasn’t even fighting to stay awake anymore, or at least, he was pretty sure she wasn’t. It was hard to tell sometimes.

That lullaby.... that’s the same one Ado used to sing to her, right? I recognize that melody, I think.

Gooey took a second to listen to the lullaby Dreambert was singing. He’d learned that the Pi’illo’s magic didn’t affect him, which was nice for situations like this. He felt a sudden drop, his grip tightening briefly. Adeleine had stumbled, clearly dozing off. Dreambert simply looked back and chuckled, guiding her over to the makeshift bed she’d made. Carefully, he eased her down, making sure she didn’t simply fall to the ground. Once she was sitting down, he flipped into his pillow form, landing on the ground behind her. She let out a soft grunt before simply falling to her side, her head landing on Dreamberts pillow form. In seconds she was out cold, sleep having finally taken hold. Gooey carefully shifted in her arms, getting himself comfortable. He glanced over at Ribbon, who was still sound asleep. A smile crossed his face. He nestled against Adeleine and closed his eyes.

“See you in the morning, Addie.” Silence surrounded them as the world faded into the darkness of night, illuminated only by the shimmering stars above them.

[p---ink]

Stark Contrasts: Chapter Three

Author’s Note: Hello all! For those of you following this series this is part 3 in my Tony Stark Fan-fiction. Part one is here, and part two is there. So sorry for the late update by the way. Writer’s block is a bitch. But I refuse to post something I don't at least like a little bit. That being said, I loved writing this chapter. Honestly if I can get just one person to read this and say they like it, I’ll be so grateful. It’s full of “angst”. I still use that word lightly, because to me it’s a drama instead of a story that makes you feel dread or anxiousness. Anyway I really hope you guys enjoy it, because this one took me a while. 

Summary: Upon finding about you and Tony’s romance, Edward Stark loses it. Pepper Potts steps in to help mediate the situation. 

Warnings: Angst, Language. No smut this time, sorry. :(

Song: Cry by Cigarettes after Sex. 

Word Count: 8.8k

Parts: one | two | three | four | five

Chapter Title: Mother Knows Best

 The concept of silence was made by man. We know this, because the world around us is never truly silent. You could argue differently though, because in this moment it felt like time stood still. You couldn’t even hear the sound of the clock ticking, as it rang loudly throughout the quiet room. Even the sound of your heart beating rapidly against your ribcage, fell on deaf ears. The one thing that was apparent to you however, was the rage behind Edward’s cool facade. Though it didn’t make a physical sound, it screamed louder than any noise had ever made.

You stopped embracing Tony and stepped away from him.  “By all means, please don’t stop on my account.” Edward chuckled. 

“I thought you were asleep.” Tony admitted, as if his thoughts helped the situation. He didn’t say it in an apologetic or shameful way, more so just stating a preconceived notion.

“Would that have made a difference?” Edward questioned, furrowing his brows inquisitively. “You know believe it or not, I felt guilty for leaving my girlfriend all alone in an unfamiliar town.” He stated, turning towards you and putting emphasis on the word unfamiliar. “When I heard your taxi pull up, I decided to come down and make sure you arrived safely. Can’t say I wasn’t surprised to see such a beautiful declaration of love.” He relayed his thoughts and actions as if he was telling a close friend a funny story. 

“Edward, we—” You start to explain. 

“We?” He interrupts, smile dropping for a second. But as quickly as it disappeared, it was back again. He began shaking his head in disbelief as he repeated the word ‘we’. “So you guys are a ‘we’, now? This is too fucking rich.” He laughed.

His grin was so wide, it almost looked genuine, and had you not known the story behind this reaction, you would of thought his joy made him look even more handsome. Right now, however, all it did was scare you.

“You know. I always thought it was weird how close you guys were.” He confessed, waving his finger in a playful ‘you-got-me’ kind of manner. His voice was sickeningly sweet, and it made your stomach churn. “But I told myself, that it was a good thing my dad liked my girlfriend so much. You know some people can’t say the same. Man was I foolish!” He exclaimed, looking between the two of you. While you gnawed at the inside of your bottom lip and averted your gaze away from Edward in shame, Tony rolled his eyes and scoffed at the display in front of him. 

“Dad tell me” He started again, pausing for a second to meet Tony’s eyes. “This is why you needed me at my desk right? So you could fuck my slut of a girlfriend?” If the words themselves didn’t make you wince, the tone they were laced in certainly did.

“Watch your mouth, when you address her.” Tony snapped through gritted teeth. 

Edward quickly threw his hands up  in defense before saying, “I’m sorry dad, you’re absolutely right. I should have said your, slut of a girlfriend. Please forgive me.” He smiled, watching his father’s fists clench. When you grabbed one of Tony’s hands, and whispered a ‘calm down’, Edward lost it. He focused on the way your chin rested on his father’s shoulder as well your hand on his a little too long. 

“How long has this been going on?” He asked coldly, abandoning the amused act. It stayed silent for a moment, and since he didn’t address a specific person, you took it upon yourself to answer. You felt you at least owed him that.

“A little over—” you try to answer, but your attempt is short-lived. 

“I was talking to my dad” He snarled, raising his voice and a hand to silence you. Turning his attention back to Tony, he repeated his question. “How long has this been going on?”

“Does it matter?” Tony quickly retorted, growing tired of the way Edward had been talking to you. 

“You know what, I think it does.” Edward challenged, eyes turning into thin slits as he looked his father up and down. “I deserve to know when this all started.” He said as if it was a matter of fact

Tony scrutinized him for a second, contemplating on whether or not he wanted to be mature or petty. He chose petty. “Fine. Since you insist on knowing all the juicy details: I’ve wanted her since the first day we met.” He revealed, shocking both you and Edward. “Now you do the math.”

  Now really thinking about it, Edward gradually stood from his seated position on the stairs. He tried piecing everything together, but it was hard because when he was home, he really wasn’t present. The evidence was still there, however, and even a blind man could see it. How could he have missed those longing stares from across the room? The lingered touches that Tony would press against the small of your back. He somehow even managed to dismiss the way the room would go quiet whenever he walked in. The way Tony whispered to you secrets that would make your thighs clench. What innocent thing could he be saying that would make your body react like that? As you two watched anger consume him, Tony gently pushed you behind himself before Edward spoke again. 

His nails had a grip on his palms so tight, you were sure they left blood, or at the very least dents. His chest, was rapidly rising and falling, as if he was having trouble keeping air in his lungs. His jaw produced a slight bulge, that was a direct result from the way he fastened it shut. “Dad.” He growled, his carefree demeanor now long gone.“How could you? She was mine.”

“See that’s your problem Edward. She doesn’t fucking belong to you, or anyone else for that matter.” Tony corrected, matching his son’s hostile energy. “And if you really cared about her, maybe I would have never had the chance to fuck her.” Your brows furrowed at his choice of words, and you gave him a sideways glare. He was purposely trying to evoke a reaction.

He got what he wanted, because as soon as he said it, Edward moved like a blur as he crossed the room to connect his fist with Tony’s face. He caused him to fall to the ground before catching himself with his palms. You gasped, and dropped to the floor beside the fallen Tony, who was now licking a busted lip. 

“I hope she was worth every minute.” Edward spat, kneeling down to clutch his father’s collar.

“Every second.” Tony teased, finding a smirk under the sting he felt from his lips. Edward delivered another punch, this one landing on one of his eyes, then another that found its way under the side of his chin, leaving only a few seconds between each blow. Had you not pushed yourself between them he would have left his father’s face a bloody and swollen mess. 

“Stop!” You shriek, holding your arm up to shield any further blows. He did stop, but you two held each other’s glares. His hand was still fixed in an attack position, and thats when you began to soften your features. You realized that he was seriously considering whether or not he wanted to hit you as well. Before you just knew he wouldn’t harm you, but seeing the look on his face now you weren’t so sure. Was that how bad you had hurt him? 

Edward decided against striking you. Though his father had been taking his hits like a champ, that would quickly change as soon as Edward laid a finger on you. Fire burning in his eyes and a serious conflict within, he stood to collect himself. “You’re dead to me, Y/N.” He stated, lowly. You wanted so badly to say ‘I’ve been dead to you for a long time now’ but decided that now wasn’t the time. 

He began straightening the wrinkles from his shirt and running his long digits through his raven black hair. “I’ll send for my stuff.” Was all he said as he took a step over both you and Tony, walking away in search of his keys.

“Better send someone quick, before they have to sort through ashes!” Tony shouted, rolling to his side to pick himself up with your aid. Edward neither spared him a glance, nor another word. 

When you heard the door click, you helped Tony readjust. Once he was put back together, you pulled your hand back as far you could to deliver a solid smack to his arm.

“Ow” he wailed, grasping the area you hit. “Haven’t I been hit enough today?” 

“No. Why did you have to act so childish?” You asked, demanding an answer.

Still rubbing the sore spot on his arm, he looked down at you with a blank expression.  “He deserved it.” Was what he said in an indifferent tone.  

You rolled your eyes, before saying “Even if that’s the truth, he was upset and he had every right to be.”

“No Y/N, he didn’t.” He said slightly raising his voice, and talking with his hands. “How he could even call you his girlfriend after all of this time, is beyond me. He doesn’t get to be upset.”

“Tony we violated his trust.” You cried, searching his frustrated face in hopes of finding a sliver of empathy for his son. 

“Edward is a self-serving jackass, who relatively no one can trust. Do you really think he holds weight in this matter?” He countered, raising a brow. In realization that his face was now forming bruises, you asked these next questions.

“You have all of the answers don’t you? Was this all worth the black eye and busted lip?” You ask, gesturing towards his face.

“Absolutely.” He answered referring to both questions. “I’d do it again if it meant seeing the look on his face.” He stated proudly.

“You’re impossible.” You grumble, as you walk away to grab a dampened rag from the bathroom. 

“Edward’s the one who’s impossible!” Tony shouted from the other room.

You rolled your eyes for what felt like the tenth time tonight at his comment. “Why is he being so immature?” You mumbled to yourself, before walking back to the foyer washcloth in hand. You found him in the family room instead, studying a younger photo of Edward. He did feel guilty, he was just to proud to show it. You sighed alerting him of your presence. He instantly reacted by sitting the frame back down on its floating shelf, clearing his throat and pretending that you didn’t just capture him longing for the days when Edward was at the very beginning of his youth. You decided to play his game, choosing not to mention his shame, but still acknowledging that it existed. That was enough for you. To you it meant he was a good person. 

“Come here” you quietly say. He sauntered over to you slowly, reaching down to take the cloth from your hands. You playfully jerk it back from him, before giving him a fixed look. Pushing him down on the nearest couch to stand between his legs, he holds onto your waist to keep you steady. The cool washcloth dripped water down your arm, as you reached up to nurse his bruises. Apparently Edward had been wearing a ring, because a cut had formed just above Tony’s brow. He winced when you pressed the cloth over the mark to clean it. You couldn’t help but feel guilty, feeling to be the cause of this all.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Tony asked breaking the silence.

“What did I say earlier?” 

“You said you love me.” You could tell he felt insecure, and your prolonged answer only made it worse.

“Of course I did silly.” You say, pecking the tip of his nose, literally kissing his worries away. “And what about you, did you mean it when you said you’ve wanted me since the first day we met?”

“Every word of it.” He smirked. You grinned back, finding comfort in his words. It didn’t last longs though, as tonights events kept replaying in your mind. 

“So…where do we go from here?” You asked softly, voice just barely above a whisper. Had you not been standing right in front of him, he would have missed it.

The cloth covered one of his eyes completely, so he looked at you with the free one. But even with no eyes, he would be able to sense the worry in your voice, and imagine the worry on your face. He cupped the hand that was on his cheek, and kept his other hand on your hip. 

“We just wait, The hard part is over now.” He assured,  leaning in to plant a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, before settling in on your lips, tugging your shirt to deepen it.

After you finished up his face you guys prepared to go to sleep. It was the first night since your being together where you weren’t afraid of being caught. You laid in bed, and thought of his words as you forced yourself to sleep. You wished you could believe them, but knowing the man that Edward was, you knew tonight was nothing compared to what was to come. 

__________________________________________________________________

“You slept with his girlfriend, and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down?” Was what you heard when you woke up. A few days had passed since Edward found out about you two. You were trying not to think about it too hard, but life had other plans. You wiped the crust from your eyes, and slowly sat up to yawn and stretch, focusing in on the conversation unfolding downstairs. 

“Tony, among all of the morally fucked up things you’ve done, this has got to be the worst! And Stark Industries used to cater to the advancements of industrialized weapons.” Pepper. That voice belongs to Pepper. You thought.

“Okay Pepper, you’re being a little dramatic. The weapons are obviously worse.” Tony said, in a fed-up tone. You carefully let your feet hit the floor to silently go eavesdrop from the top of the banister. 

“We both know that’s not the point.” She said bringing her voice down an octave. 

“Then exactly what point are you trying to make, Ms. Potts? Why are you here?” Tony retorted. He spoke in hushed tones, but the annoyance in his voice was clear.  

“I need to see Y/N, so—”

“No.” Tony quickly interrupted, but Pepper continued.

“—So we can figure this mess out.” She cried. 

“Hell no Pepper, I’m not letting you bother her with this bullshit.” Tony bit.

“Edward is really upset!”

“Unfortunately, I am all out of fucks to give about Edward’s feelings.” 

“Tony, look at what he’s threatening to put out.” You could tell she was showing him something, you just didn’t know what “If this reaches the public people are gonna start piecing these things together, and realize it has to do with you.”

“Pepper.”

“Let me speak to Y/N.”

“No.” At this point you began making your way downstairs, curious as to why she came all this way. You liked Pepper. You met her after meeting Tony. They had been separated for months. Despite Tony’s horror stories, she was always nice to you. Perhaps the divorce helped her find herself, because the Pepper you met was nothing like the one he described. 

“Y/N! Please come down!” You hear Pepper yell from the foyer. 

“Pepper, are you out of your mind? For crying out loud.” Tony cries upon seeing you descend. He was facing the staircase, hands on Pepper’s shoulders trying to urge her out of the door. Her back was turned, until she followed Tony’s line of sight, spinning to focus her smoky blue eyes on you instead. 

Her golden blonde hair was done up into her typical tight ponytail. Makeup light, consisting only of a simple peach colored lipstick and mascara. She wore a tan pencil skirt, white blouse and safe nude pumps. As per usual, Pepper was perfectly primped, not a gold lock out of place, save her bangs and a few intentional strands that cradled her face. If only her appearance could match her attitude.

She fully turned her body so that her attention was on you. “Y/N, please tell me this whole thing isn’t true.” Pepper pleaded.

“I’m afraid it is Ms. Potts.” You reply, sheepishly, suddenly feeling ashamed again. To have Pepper disappointed in you, felt worst than getting caught by Edward himself. 

“Jesus.” She sighed, closing her eyes shut and pinching the bridge of her nose. “You two, have royally fucked yourselves.  Take a look at this.” She stepped closer to you with an iPad in hand, dragging a skinny finger across the screen to reach the content she wanted you to see. She came to a stop and handed it over to you once she reached a page that looked like an article, or at least the rough draft of one. It was clearly about you and Tony, as the entire thing talked about Edward dealing with the betrayal of two people closest to him: a person who gave him life, and a person whom he gave his love. He was the victim, and though he did not put a name to his betrayers, they were clearly the decorated villains. It was very well-written. He even added parts to the story that not even you knew happened. 

Tony watched you panic. He watched the worry lines etch themselves in your skin. He snatched the iPad from your wandering fingers, and then he watched confusion take the place of worry. “You have to get ready for class. Besides, Ms. Potts was just leaving.” He firmly stated.

“What? No Tony. I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to go to school today.” She suggested as Tony handed her the device back. “We have to figure out what we are going to do about this.” Was what she said as he gently pushed her out of the house, and closed the door in her face.

He was really upset with her for upsetting you. Maybe he was also upset about Edward, but he felt his son couldn’t do any real harm. However, he knew you felt otherwise.

“Don’t worry about him.” He assured. “Eddy is just throwing another tantrum.” 

“Another?” You questioned, both worry and confusion working hard to dominate your features. “What are you not telling me?”

“Stop worrying. That’s what I am telling you.” 

“How can I not? Tony you keep telling me not to be worried, but you and I have seen what he can do when he’s upset.”

“Yea well I taught him how to do it. His ‘power’ comes from me, and I can assure you that. Everything will be fine.” He assured once again.

You blow out hot air threw your nose, frustrated with his naivety. He was really acting like the problem didn’t exist. “I have to get ready for class.” You stated, flicking your hands in the air as if to brush off his words before stomping away. 

“Baby?” He yells from the foyer, as you retreat up the stairs.  

“What Tony?” You yell back, once you make the bathroom. 

“Are you mad at me?” He whines.

“Yes!” You scream.

“Well, I love you!” You can practically hear the grin in his voice.

“Fuck you Tony.” You yell, mocking fake agitation.

 “Sure, but we have to wait until after you get home from school.” Well at least he learned his lesson from last time. You think to yourself, smiling as you get ready for the day. 

_________________________________________________________________

It felt like days had passed as you watched Professor Maxwell drone on and on about quantum mechanics. In reality, it had only been about 4 hours since you left the house. This was your last class of the day, so of course he had to drag it on.

You sat alone in his huge lecture hall, half-heartedly scribbling down notes. Though you were easy to get along with, and many people thought you were cool and nice, you found it hard to make real friends with your peers. You attended a prestigious university and most of them came from different backgrounds. Of course, for the most part, there was nothing was wrong with that, but it did make it harder to find common interests from time to time. It wasn’t like you didn’t have any friends though, just not in this particular environment. This fact alone helped you excel in your studies and passions. You found with no social distractions you could get more done. Right now however, you were more distracted than you had ever been.

You kept thinking about Edward’s article. You kept thinking about Edward. You really hurt him. But Tony was right, Edward had been hurting you since the beginning. It still didn’t make it okay for you to cheat, let alone sleep with his Dad. Preoccupied with your self-guilt, you didn’t notice the dings that sounded off around the quiet auditorium. Gasps, and soft whispers, followed, as people looked at you, but you were far too focused on your own problems to pay attention to theirs. You weren’t too focused to not hear the professor signal the end of class though. 

Shoving your laptop in your bag, you sprung to your escape. Bursting through the grand oak doors of your university’s science hall, you rushed to be the first in line at the school’s popular little cafe. Grabbing their pastry of the day became your favorite ritual. 

You leaned down to take in all of your choices. The warm yellow light of the display case illuminating your face. You could hear a faint buzz coming from it over the humming of the espresso machines, the overplayed pop songs, and the chatter from your fellow students and locals that frequented it. Coming here was peaceful. It was much like the library would be to someone who needed to focus. You found the busyness of the world relaxing, because no matter how many problems you faced, everyone else just kept moving.  

You thought about how you were gonna treat yourself. Maybe you would have an apple strudel today. Or perhaps a blueberry cannoli? Peach scone? You decide on the strawberry shortcake, it was a classic and to die for. You pointed it out to the pastry clerk, and he was happy to go and prepare it for you. 

“What, your sugar daddy not giving you enough sugar at home?” You heard a voice ask from behind you. You mentally groaned and rolled your eyes at the sound of Amber. She was a girl from Edward’s past that had a personal vendetta against you for reasons unknown. They were long done before you entered the picture, but Amber must of felt otherwise. 

You turned around to greet her, and as always you were astonished by her appearance. She had these catlike hazel green eyes that could burn a hole through steel. A strawberry blonde curly mane cascaded down her shoulders. She also had a natural sun-kissed golden tan, and she stood at a tall 5’11. She was gorgeous. Why she was still hung up on Edward, you would never know.

She had with her, Cassie, a faithful fan of hers who couldn’t form her own standing opinion . She kissed Amber’s ass so much you were surprised to find out she didn’t live in her toilet. She also brung Jasmine one of her new recruits, a petite mousy-like sophomore. Jasmine was okay, but she was a try-hard in constant need to of approval, hence why she hung out with Amber. 

“Hi Amber.” You smile, mustering up your last bit of fucks to give. You were too tired to acknowledge the meaning behind her comment, but not too tired to throw her a bone. 

“Hi Amber.” She mocked, slurring your words. “You had everyone around you eating out of the palm of your hands, but I knew your goody-two-shoes act was just that: an act.” 

“What are you talking about?” You asked, heart dropping to your stomach. You hoped she wasn’t talking about what you thought she was. 

“So you can’t read now? Let me say this slowly so you can comprehend.” She cleared her throat for a comedic effect before she spoke again. “Edward finally let the rest of the world know what a gold digging slut you are!” She smirked, throwing out her hand to Jasmine who wasn’t paying her any attention. “Jasmine!” Amber shrieked, causing the poor girl to jump. She quickly recovered from her incompetence, and scrambled to pass Amber her phone. Amber passed it to you, careful not to take her eyes away from yours. She didn’t want to miss the face of a girl who��s life was about to fall apart.

On the phone, was the same article Pepper had shown to you earlier, only this time it had been updated with even more lies spread throughout. Edward played the part of an unsuspecting, loving, and caring son/boyfriend, who was blindsided by the treachery of his beloved father and girlfriend. 

Again no names, but if it wasn’t already obvious, people knew it was you now. You looked up to Amber, a smug look playing on her features. It didn’t unsettle you as much as she wanted it to. What unsettled you though, was when you looked around the cafe. All the noise and chatter had all but come to a cease. The humming from the coffee machines, the overplayed pop song, and the buzz from the display counter were all that could be heard. They were waiting. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for your reaction. 

No. You thought. I am not gonna give this bitch or anyone else the satisfaction of my reaction. You tighten your jaw, and turn to pay for your pastry, now in a hurry to leave the shop. 

Amber was not having it. “So you have nothing to say?” She scoffed loudly. “I am clearly talking to you.” She harshly grabbed your shoulder to turn you around. 

You were ready to throw hands but before you could you were promptly cut-off by someone else.

“Leave her alone Amber, before I fuck you up.” They commanded. Everyone’s necks snap to investigate the source of noise. Eyes land on the pink-haired girl at the back of the cafe. She had chosen a cozy little corner booth, where she could kick her feet up to watch all of those around her. 

“Excuse me?” Amber sneered.

Nao, if you remembered her name correctly, swung her feet out of the booth to make her way through the crowd. She came to stand in front of Amber’s frame, before she addressed her again. “Let me say this slow enough so that you can comprehend” You smiled, as she borrowed Amber’s words from earlier. “I said: ‘Leave her alone Amber, before I fuck you up.’”

“What are you gonna do to me Nail?” Amber challenged, feeling quite good about herself for the joke she made. 

“It’s Nao, but you knew that already, and you don’t want to try me” She warned. 

“What could possibly be worse than sleeping with your boyfriend’s dad?” Amber asked a little too loudly for your liking, she earned an uncomfortable laugh from Jasmine, and a cackle from Cassie, who playfully tapped her shoulder in approval. There were also a few scattered snickers from other people in the cafe.

“I don’t know, maybe you should ask all of those married men, who you slept with over the summer.” Nao suggested, eyes wide mocking innocence. “If they don’t know, their children and wives might.”

‘Ooo’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ erupted throughout the quiet space of the cafe. Someone whispered, “Did she say ‘men’, as in plural?”

Amber looked like she had seen a ghost as Nao looked her up and down, daring her to spill another word. Cassie took the dare.

“Nao, that’s not true! And even if it was it’s none of your business you nosy little cunt.”

“Don’t get me started on you Cassie. We all remember that time you sucked off Bryson Kidd, for a bag of hot Cheetos and a kiwi strawberry Arizona.” She said as she twisted her neck to look at Cassie’s mortified expression. Then her eyes traveled, landing on Jasmine,  who shook her head as if to say she didn’t want any part of this. 

Nao let her be, then turned to address the rest of the room, “Anyone else?”  She asked, gruff voice now coated in honey. She continued her scan around the shop, trying to bait people. This was fun for her, she knew they were scared. They knew she was a revered tech major, at the top of her class. Her know-how with computers wasn’t the reason she knew about Amber though. She wasn’t invasive like people thought she was. She was just quiet and observant. 

Nao continued her rant, “Are we all forgetting that Edward Stark has slept with at least half the women in this room alone? Mind you while he and Y/N were still in a relationship.” She looked around, disappointed in her peers. She caused some of the women in question to avert their judgy gazes away from you, mumbling profanities about Nao being a snoopy bitch. Nao turned back to Amber, who was still hot from embarrassment. “Where were your words of judgment then Amber?” She said leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Oops my bad. I shouldn’t expect you to say anything to him while his cock is stuffed down your throat.” 

The light pink that dusted Amber’s cheeks, deepened to a crimson that spread across her entire face and neck. She huffed, and turned on her feet to excuse herself from the cafe, Cassie and Jasmine both hot on her trail.

When they were gone, the conversations around you picked up again as people tried not to stare. 

Nao, finally turned her attention towards you. The smile you sported throughout her entire show dissipated as you realized she was about to tear into you now. She stepped closer, and closer to you, instantly making you shy away. When she was close enough to examine the pores on your face, she took out a crinkled 10 dollar bill, that she handed to the cashier. “I’ve got this one.” She declared, smiling in reference to your strawberry shortcake. The clerk handed her the bag, which she handed to you before taking a step back. You could tell she struggled with personal space.

“Thank you” You start. “But why did you do that?”  

She knew you were referring to Amber. “You never bother anyone Y/N. You’re always so nice. If you ever need me, just give me a call.” She motioned to your phone, “May I?”

“Oh yea, sure.” You say, before handing her your unlocked device so she could type in her number. While she input her contact information, you took advantage of the temporary distraction to really survey her features.

She was Japanese,  you remembered that from the icebreaker you had in a shared class a year ago. Brown freckles, that looked like constellations were sprinkled along her rosy cheeks. Long lashes, fluttered every time she opened her eyes to blink. And as mentioned before, she had pink hair, a wavy pixie cut to be exact, that sat on her head like a fluffy cloud. She was tall, but not as tall as Amber. Lanky, with long limbs. Bushy black eyebrows sat above her honey brown eyes. Her nose was so small, you wondered how she could breathe out of it. She, like Amber, was very pretty, only in a “non-traditional” way. 

You had a girl-crush. You were giddy by the fact that a strong woman came to your aid, batting for you like that. When she looked back up at you, you realized you were staring, so you ripped yourself out of your daze of admiration. “Thank you again. Also thank you for this!” You exclaimed, lifting up the brown goody bad. 

“Its no problem. Enjoy it. It’s almost as sweet as you.” She smiled at you widely before turning to leave.

What a great way to start off your Monday. 

__________________________________________________________________

“Tony I’m back!” You called throughout the house. Your echo was the only thing to greet you back. Must not be home. You thought to yourself.

You sit your keys in the dish next to the door, kicking your shoes off, deciding to worry about them later. Grabbing yourself a bottle of wine, and a glass to pour it in , you drift into the living room. You take your seat in your favorite chair, ready to kick your feet up and relax. 

“Hi.” Pepper says behind you, making you spill your grown-up juice on the seat beside you, as well as on Tony’s equally expensive rug. You knew that neat-freak was gonna lose his shit. 

“Pepper!” You squeal, “Why didn’t you say anything when I called out earlier?!”

“I didn’t want to startle you.” She explained rushing to grab some club soda and a dish rag from the kitchen. 

“How is this any better?!” You yell, as she reenters the room, falling to the rug to clean out the stains. She threw you a spare cloth and handed you the soda to tackle the spreading splotch on the couch. 

“I don’t know! Give me a break for at least trying.”

“How did you even get in here?” You ask, vigorously scrubbing into the fibers of the couch. 

“Y/N, I used to live here.” You abruptly stopped as she continued. At the mention of it, you cringed at how awkward this might have been for Pepper. You were Tony’s new plaything, while she was his old one. Not to mention the fact that you also had been with her son. 

“I forgot.” You sigh, before apologizing. “I’m sorry for all of this Pepper. This must be really strange for you.” The spot on the couch was now faint, so you abandoned your previous efforts. 

Satisfied with the removal of her designated stain as well, Pepper stood from her knees to occupy the seat opposite to you. “Nonsense dear.” She replied, giving you a tight smile. “Sit, please.”

“Where’s Tony?” You ask as you do as she says. She must have some idea, since she was here but he wasn’t. 

“On his way to get this article pulled. I can imagine he’ll want to confront Edward as well.” Pepper informed you, crossing her legs to get comfortable. You let out a huff of air, seeing as the last time they saw each other, it didn’t end quite well. “Speaking of Edward, he’s the reason I’ve come to see you. We have to talk about this.”

“Not to be blunt Pepper, but what else is there to talk about? Everyone already knows about it, how much worse could it get?”

“That’s the thing. It will only get worse if you two continue your affair. Edward is talking about filing an injunction against Tony. He could lose his position as CEO of Stark Industries.” You eyed her in disbelief. You knew Edward was capable of being vindictive, just not this much. 

“Can he really do that? Is what I have with Tony that serious?” You were genuinely concerned.

“Ordinarily CEO’s don’t get removed because of their personal relationships, but because you and Tony have something different, I believe Edward has a fighting chance.” She paused to exhale as she surveyed your features. “Tony’s face is plastered everywhere in the world. He is Stark Industries, and a lot of his success comes from his fame. To be associated with such a scandal could prove very harmful to the future of this company.” She finished. 

Just like Edward worked hard to prove himself to Tony, Tony worked harder to prove himself to Howard Stark. He risked everything, putting his all into Stark Industries. Erasing the blemish of  its past with weapons of mass destruction, he had successfully turned it into a clean, and sustainable energy industry that had proven just as, if not more, successful than its predecessor. He also dabbled in AI, robotics, and non-lethal ways to disarm enemies. You would not be the reason that all got thrown away. Still you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your gut.

“So I have to just stop seeing Tony?” You asked, internally pulling yourself together.

“I wish I could say it was that easy, Y/N. But we both know Tony won’t just stop seeing you.”

“So what do you suggest I do?” You asked her now slightly agitated. 

She sensed your irritation, but elected to ignore it, opting to continue her use of a soothing voice instead. “I understand you have an internship in France. I’m also sure that Tony, knows about it. Correct?”

“Yes. What about it?” You ignore the fact that she knows this despite not telling her. You had long given up on how Pepper acquired her information. Perhaps Edward had mentioned it, but you couldn’t see why it would be of interest to him. 

“Well Tony can’t know where you’re going. So how would you feel if I told you, I could pull some strings to get you an all-expense paid internship somewhere else?” 

“What’s the catch?” You ask sighing. This was all too much to process. 

“Instead of leaving in May, you’ll have to start preparing things now. You’ll need to leave as soon as possible so that you can get settled in by next week.” She quickly replied.

“Next week?” You gasp. “That doesn’t give me enough time to prepare. What about my course-load and credits? And my family, my friends? What would I tell them?”

“I already have everything handled.” She said raising her hands in a ‘calm-down’ kind of way. “Also, if you decide to leave you’ll need a place to stay for the time-being. I would offer my home, but Tony is too smart to not look there. You’ll need to stay somewhere he won’t find you until we can get you shipped out.” 

Is she for real? You thought to yourself. “Wait, you’re really serious about getting me to leave.” You say, through a pained chuckle.

“This is what’s best.” She simply replied, pursing her lips. 

“What do you get out of this Pepper?” You ask deciding now was the perfect moment to let your frustration boil over. “I mean, Tony is your ex, and I am the on who cheated on your son with said ex. You should be happy that Edward is about to ruin us. Why should I trust you?”

“Well first, let’s have the Tony conversation, it clearly makes you feel guilty.” She said drawing in a sharp breath. “His and my relationship was over before it even started. We were supposed to remain friends instead of lovers, but we ruined that with marriage. There are no hard feelings, so I don’t care who he’s with, even if it’s you. Now, on to Edward.”

She sat up in her chair to clasp her hands around her knee. “I am the reason he is the way he is. And for that, I apologize. In all honesty Y/N, I always liked you. I saw myself in you, and I still said nothing as I let him ruin you. I felt that you would be good for him. I ignored the fact that he wasn’t good for you. Guilt has consumed me, and the only way I see fit to redeem myself is to do my part in making sure he doesn’t ruin his father and you. I am trying to help.”

You wanted to believe her, but you still had your doubts. “How do I know this is all the truth? This whole injunction thing could be a ploy to get me out of the picture.”

Her patience was thinning. “If you want to risk it, then go right ahead. But don’t forget who you’re dealing with here. Edward has promised to stop if you leave. At least this way, everyone gets to keep what they worked so hard for. That article can do serious damage to your future career and Tony’s current one. And Edward will not stop until he’s satisfied.” 

At this point Pepper had said all that she came to say. So she stood to leave, but not before saying one last thing. “Tony doesn’t know I’m here. I’d like to keep it that way. Also, you don’t have much time to think about this one dear. The longer you stay, the more you risk. Contact me once you’ve made your decision”

You looked at her with your eyes full of sorrow. Pepper’s eyes could only offer you sympathy. You really wanted to believe she was telling the truth. But if she was, you had a lot to think about. You wished someone else could make the decision for you.

__________________________________________________________________

“Sweetheart!” Tony shouted, voice booming off of the walls. “Did you spill something on the rug?!Wait the fucking couch too!” 

How the hell did he see that, we scrubbed the shit out of those stains. You think to yourself, without answering him.

You could hear him as he stomped up the stairs, searching the rooms to find the one you were in. He found you in the laundry room, folding his and your clothes. “We have a housekeeper you know.” He reminded as he leaned against the doorway amused by the sight before him. 

“She’s a little weird, I saw her admiring my panties.” You answered weakly. 

He shook his head, as if you were the one being absurd. “That’s not weird, I do it all the time.  Anyway, did you spill wine downstairs?” 

“Yea sorry.” You reply. He could tell you were a bit off, since you didn’t laugh at his joke. You hadn’t even looked at him since he arrived. 

“Are you okay?” He asks stepping a bit closer. 

“I’m fine.” You responded, absentmindedly folding one of his shirts. 

“You’re lying.” He stated, pretty sure of himself. “If this is about the article, I got the publisher to pull it. It’s gonna be played off like a rumor.”

“It’s not about the article.” You sigh.

“So it is something. What is it?” He pressed, placing a hand over your folding ones to get them to stop

You knew he wasn’t going to give up, so you decided to just get it over with. “I had a talk with Pepper today.”

“Not this shit again.” He grumbled dropping his hands to exit the room. 

“Tony listen. She made a few good points.” You say following him as he strides away to his bedroom. 

“I don’t care about the points she’s made Y/N. I told you that you have nothing to worry about.” He countered, sounding exhausted. He had been exhausted since that night with Edward. 

“If that’s true then why did you go see Edward today?” 

“Who told you that?” He asked, spinning around to eye you suspiciously

“You just did.” You watched his face change from curiosity to awe. It was rare for you to outsmart him. “If you’re not worried, why were you there.”

He turned back around to loosen his tie, before saying “I don’t have to have this conversation right now.”

You exhaled loudly, frustrated with his stubbornness. “Either we have this conversation now, or we never have it.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked in an amused tone. 

“It means, you should say all you want to say to me now, before I leave.” You answered. This got him to turn back around and face you. 

“Before you leave? What kind of bullshit has Pepper been spewing now?”

You pause and think before saying another word. You had already said too much. He wasn’t supposed to know you were leaving, let alone that Pepper was even here. If you were gonna do this though, you didn’t want any words left unsaid. That was your reasoning behind what you would say next. “She thinks it’s best if I leave.”

“Leave? For what?” He asked closing the distance between you. 

“Edward is calling for your removal as head of Stark Industries.

“Oh that? I'm not worried about that. Like I said, it’s another tantrum and it will blow over.” He stated, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Your son throws huge tantrums Tony. And this one doesn’t seem like its gonna just blow over. This is really serious, and Pepper feels like he has a fighting chance.” You state, ignoring his fingers that wandered along your skin. He always tried to use sex to take your mind off of things.

“A fighting chance? On the grounds of what? That I stole his little girlfriend.” He teased, grabbing your lower back to pepper kisses along your neckline. 

“Quit it, this is serious.” You whined, shoving him off of you. 

Sighing from both rejection and frustration, Tony lowly replies “It’s really not.” 

“You know what, maybe not to you, but I will not let you throw away your entire legacy. I’m leaving so you don’t mess your life up.” You bite, frustrated with his indifference. You began making your way to your old room to go and pack your things.

You were almost in the door until Tony harshly gripped your wrist, whipping you around to face him. “Who are you to make that decision for me? Huh? You don’t know a fucking a thing about this.” He barked, tone getting more aggressive the longer he spoke. “Who cares about Edward and his little temper-tantrums. Even if he takes the company, at the end of the day, I’m still filthy, fucking, rich. And if I wanna have you, I’m gonna have you. You’re mine. No one else is gonna tell me different.” He spat. 

“Let go,” you said, flinging your wrist free of his grip. Once free, you immediately began to back away. Tony’s glare weakened once he realized how badly he overreacted. He had began to succumb to all the stress that this was all causing him. He took it out on you, which he immediately regretted. You would be a damn liar though, if you said hearing him speak that way didn’t make you sexually frustrated. But you had a face to uphold in that moment. He needed to think you were mad at him. “What happened to me not belonging to anyone? You think because you’re ‘filthy, fucking’ rich’ you can just make me yours?”

Tony let his guilt show, “Kitten, you know that’s not what I meant.”

“Goodnight Tony.” You say, as you slink in to your old room, the one you and Edward used to share.

“Wait, please.” He begged, taking a step forward. 

You slammed the door shut before he could reach inside, sliding down the cool wood until you reached the floor. He began knocking against the door, pleading with you to open it so that you could talk things out. Tony was not a man in need of much, so to hear desperation overtake his emotions left you wrecked. 

You immediately began sobbing into your shirt, doing your best to muffle your cries. You did not want to leave, but you could not be the reason his life’s work got flushed down the drain. 

He would be over you in no time. You would get over him as well. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself as you texted Pepper your decision to leave. 

__________________________________________________________________

Jerking awake after your fight, you realized that the sun had gone down. You checked your phone, and saw that it was almost time for you to leave. Pepper would be over to pick you up soon, so you quietly got up to pack, careful not to alert Tony if he was near. 

You packed light. Very light. Everything fit into a bag that you could carry over your shoulder. You were only taking the things you felt absolutely necessary, like your toothbrush, underwear, a few outfits, and anything else that you could fit into the small bag. Pepper insured that she would take care of the rest. You informed of her of your fight with Tony. She was disappointed that you let him know you were leaving but she expected it from you, which is why she never told you exactly where you were going. 

You had to stay with someone else until your departure, because it would be easier to keep the secret of your destination away from Tony among other things. Now the problem lied in where you would stay. He knew all of your friends. He had even met some of your closest family members through Edward. And as Pepper mentioned before, you couldn’t stay with her, because it would be one of the first places he checked. You thought of Samuel and Elise from your favorite restaurant, but decided against them because you didn’t know where they stayed, nor did you have any way of contacting them. 

Maybe Nao. You thought, before shaking the idea out of your head as quickly as it came. There is no way she would let me, we just met and she didn’t mean her offer literally. 

But if she didn’t mean it, she wouldn’t of given me her number. Plus, Tony doesn’t know her, so she’s perfect. You silently debated with yourself. You were desperate so you shot her a text pleading your case. You gnawed at the inside of your cheek. You weren’t one to really ask people big favors like this one, so you were nervous. 

Nao replied back not even two minutes later, offering you an invitation to bunk with her for as long as you needed. You immediately shot her a thank you and continued your packing. 

You had to move quickly before you changed your mind. Everything that Tony got for you would remain here. Not having much money to your name, you could have sold it and made yourself a pretty coin, but that wasn’t the type of woman you were. Besides all of it meant so much to you, everything had sentimental value, just because he had given it to you. You decided to display every single thing he ever got for you on the bed and floor. The shoes, the lace, the bags, clothes, etc. When you came across the jewelry that he got you, it proved to be a challenge. Every one he had purchased on very special occasions, like your birthday, Christmas…Valentine’s Day. You thought when you came across the destroyed remains of the Cartier bracelet he got for you that day. ‘My heart belongs to you, T.S.’  You wanted to take it. You desperately wanted to take it to have something that reminded you of him, but seeing as the small plaque itself probably cost him thousands you decided to leave it. Rubbing the cold metal between your fingers one last time, you set it down. 

You thought to leave your phone. Tony had it replaced it for you when you lost it in Italy  on one of your trips. You weren’t certain about whether or not he would trace it if he was really desperate. Okay now I’m being ridiculous. He doesn’t care about me that much, you thought, before placing the device back in your pocket now heading to the door. 

Even while touching the knob you were careful. Making the slightest sound could set him off to your presence. He was a pretty light sleeper unless he was blackout drunk, so you weren’t wrong for your caution. Turning it slowly, opening the door even slower, you slipped through it once it was wide enough.

“Y/N” you heard him murmur from behind you. At the sound of his voice you stifled a squeal of surprise. When you turned to confront him, determined to make your case for leaving, your eyes had to travel down to the floor where he resided. You saw him fast asleep, back against your doorway. Had he been there since your fight? Your thoughts were interrupted when you saw the flashing of lights outside, signaling that Pepper was there. You were starting to unravel. Tears did not threaten to leave your eyes, they promised. As they spilled down your cheeks you shook them away along with your weak thoughts. The sight of Tony at your doorstep almost made you drop your bags and forget all your previous worries. 

Almost.

  A/N: Please do not claim my work as your own. Please leave a comment, a like, and reblog, it honestly really means the world to me when I get comments. 

[tuancore]

Lost You (Part 14) :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

You could feel your entire world collapsing before you, oxygen leaving your lungs, suffocating you to death. It was a horrible feeling, your body was crying for oxygen to let you live, but you had absolute no reason to. As much as it killed you inside you were going to meet ends by killing yourself from outside as well.

As soon as your eyes shut close, you felt yourself falling into some sort of black hole, getting sucked from within. Thats it, you are going to leave everything behind and rest in piece, you thought.

________

The doctors operated on you restlessly for hours, Jinyoung stood outside the operation theatre his face already pale and puffy from crying. All he prayed was for you to be safe and to come back to life, To him, To your love, To where you belonged.

The doctors were finally done operating on you after two and a half hours.

"Doctor, how's she? She's fine right? Nothing happened to her right—" Jinyoung clouded the doctors with multiple questions his fingers intertwined together. Exhaling a short breath, they replied "Mr. Park, we managed to save her..but if she—".

"If she what doctor?" He shouted impatiently, "You See.....Mr. Park we have to wait till she gains consciousness until then we can't say anything clearly, let's just hope for the best, now if you excuse me" The doctor excused himself leaving Jinyoung behind, crying to himself.

BamBam approached him, embracing Jinyoung in his arms, rubbing his back, "Hyung, Noona will wake up soon. Don't worry, she's the strongest".

"But BamBam what if she never wakes up, what if I lose her?" Jinyoung panicked, grabbing his hairs harshly "I can't lose her Bam, I can't, how will I even breathe seeing her in this condition?".

"Hyung, Hyung....please calm down, nothing bad will happen, have some faith in her, she won't leave you", BamBam tried to assure him, "If anything she loves you, she'll not go anywhere leaving me, leaving you, any of us".

And just like that it's been two months and you still haven't opened your eyes. Seeing your lifeless form before his eyes were burning and eating Jinyoung alive, he felt so helpless for the first time in his life, even if he gave up all his money and his soul he won't be able to wake you up. All he was required to do was pray and wait for a new day to bring the possibility of you waking up.

"Oppa..." The voice made Jinyoung turn his head around, while he sat beside your ward bed on a barstool holding onto your cold hands securingly, "Minyoung, You here? Not having work today?".

"I do have work but I wanted to visit Unnie first, that's all" She smiled, staring at you, "Oppa, I just hope she wakes up soon, it's been so long. It's kind of hard to not have her around and I want you to be healthy Oppa, you're neither eating nor sleeping properly. Do you think unnie will be happy seeing you like this?".

"Yeah, you're right...." He turned to face you, his heart hurting everytime to see your hands getting pierced with syringes and that oxygen mask which was keeping you stable, " But Minyoung, I'm healthy don't worry, as long as she's by my side, I'll be okay ".

"Where's BamBam?" Minyoung asked, "I thought he would be here".

"BamBam? He hasn't visited for two to three days, anyways why are you asking about him?" Jinyoung asked back, raising his brows in curiosity.

"Stop with that suspicious upfront" Minyoung laughed hitting Jinyoung's shoulders playfully, "Lisa unnie was worried about him, he hasn't been answering her phone calls".

"Lisa hmm, there's nothing to be worried about he's busy with things at the studio, tell her not to care about that dork that much. Yugyeom is there with him" Jinyoung laughed, "Oppa if he's with Yugyeom it's 110% confirm that they'll cause some trouble, for you all to wrap up later, it's so casual for Lisa unnie to get worried".

"I know, I know. Salute to Lisa for bearing with BamBam's annoying ass" Jinyoung grinned, at the thought of Lisa always running after BamBam with the amount of headache he gives her.

"Aigoo it's already, 11:47. I guess I'll be on my way to the clinic, see you Oppa" She hugged Jinyoung gently, then after facing you again, "Unnie wake up soon, we're all missing you a lot".

"Please baby, please come back to me, with every passing second, I'm losing a part of myself" He sniffed, reminiscing the times you both have spent together, "Remember baby you always scolded me for not helping in household chores, and that one day you'll leave me if I didn't start being a good boyfriend, helping you with those. I'm sorry...." He sobbed kissing your knuckles, "I'll do whatever you'll ask me to, I promise. I'll do the dishes, I'll do the laundry, I'll clean the washroom. Anything, I'll keep you like the princess you are....all you have to do is come back to me. Please....I love you. Please".

"Bam the hell are you doing?" Lisa growled through her phone, making her boyfriend shudder in fear, "I'm sorry Lili baby I was busy".

"Busy? What kind of busy? That you haven't answered my calls for three days, not even a single message", she continued ranting while BamBam bit his bottom lips nervously, glancing at Yugyeom every now and then who was busy drinking his chocolate milk, "Baby...I'm just busy at the studio with some mixtapes, it's been exhausting lately. I promise I'll call you from now onwards, don't worry too much, hmmm?".

Sighing loudly, Lisa mumbled "Okay, take care, by the way Bam".

"Yes Lili?".

"Just go and visit the hospital, Minyoung told me that Jinyoung's condition is also worsening, it's not good for his health", She explained, tone laced with concern, "Lisa, hyung hasn't been himself since the day Noona— I'll spare myself some time and go there".

"Sounds good, and one more thing. I'm coming back in five days" Lisa contained herself from squealing. BamBam's face lit up at the news, clutching his phone tight he grinned widely, "OMG! Finally! You've been stuck at Rosé's place for three weeks now, that's enough for her".

"Yeah, but it's definitely not enough. I'm cutting my visit short because my childish boyfriend is being a nut".

"Hey! What do you mean by a nut? I'm the coolest you know so it's definitely you who's a nut" He bragged, dabbing again. Yugyeom let out a scoff walking out of the room.

"And I'm the hottest okay" She chuckled lightly, "Yeah yeah a very hot nut though, Lisa come back soon I miss you", he muttered lovingly.

"I miss you more Bamie".

________

The work and everything started getting the best out of Jinyoung, he was ditching meals and sleep continuously. He ran from office to hospital and then from hospital to office without any fixed schedule. Everyone requested him to get some rest at home, Yugyeom and BamBam even suggested that they will keep an eye on you. But Jinyoung was not satisfied with any of that, if he wants to be with you, Then he will be with you. His words were solidified in concrete.

Except for today, everyone planned on not letting Jinyoung step inside your ward until and unless he attends today's meeting. The investor was giving up a huge amount for the project and Jinyoung's company can't miss on this.

"You guys sure that this will convince Sir to attend the meeting?" A blonde lean boy one of Jinyoung's employees asked, chewing his fingertips, "Of course! Hyunjin don't worry. Noona means the world to Jinyoung hyung, he'll even walk to the moon just for her sake, so chill", Yugyeom encouraged Hyunjin who was still not so sure.

"Please hyungs do anything, but please please convince Sir to lead on this meeting. He has been rescheduling this meeting for weeks and I don't think that the investor himself have that much patience" Hyunjin explained desperately, "I do understand that he's here for ma'am he cares for her, he loves her but job is also important. Please convince hi—".

"Shut up! He will go with you, just stop with your blabbering" BamBam shouted, irritated hearing Hyunjin's pleadings since then.

BamBam and Yugyeom proceeded with their plan by locking your room's door from inside not letting Jinyoung in, "Hyung! You'll get to see her after the meeting only!" BamBam shouted from inside holding onto the knob tightly.

"BamBam that's not fair! You can't do this I swear I'll break the door if you don't open it!" Jinyoung snarled from outside banging on the wood. "Stop banging loudly, Do you want Noona to get disturbed?" BamBam's words made Jinyoung stop and sigh in defeat, "Fine I'll go....".

"Good choice, so we'll be waiting for you right here after few hours...." BamBam smiled waving a bye from the little glass hole in the door, "Few hours" Jinyoung repeated sadly not wanting to leave you even for a second.

"After you Sir" Hyunjin spoke for the first time after Jinyoung's arrival. He nodded after capturing your form, grabbing the file from Hyunjin's grasp walking towards the exit flipping through the pages, with Hyunjin following behind.

Yugyeom and BamBam passed a thumbs up towards Hyunjin, mouthing "Told you".

Unlocking the door, BamBam and Yugyeom plopped themselves on the couch. Both of them already tired from sweating day and night at the studio, but they knew that someone has to look after Jinyoung because he has completely lost himself.

Suddenly your heart rate monitor started to beep sending a panic wave through BamBam and Yugyeom. They jumped to their feet running to examine you, your breathing was highly unstable even though you had the oxygen mask.

BamBam stayed with you while Yugyeom rushed outside to call a doctor to check on your not so good seeming state. Your chest heaved up and down due to your erratic breathing, your lungs suffocating you.

"Noona... Noona...." He called out desperately, "Nothing will happen to you Noona...", BamBam pulled out his phone ready to dial Jinyoung's number but stopped at the thought of Jinyoung being in the meeting.

"Doctor please...do something it looks like she's getting short of breath" Yugyeom barged in along with the doctor, she immediately stood beside you, checking your pulse rate and heart rate.

She injected you with some medicine, then again leveling the monitors after awhile your breathing was back to normal. BamBam and Yugyeom almost had a cardiac arrest, if it wasn't for the doctor to have you stable again.

"What was happening to her?" BamBam asked the doctor, "She's fine right?".

"Don't worry she's good, and I think she'll wake up soon" She smiled at both of them, before walking away.

"Gyeomie...." BamBam whispered facing him. Yugyeom nodded with a smile, "Yes yes I heard, Noona we're waiting".

Your head started throbbing with pain, almost unbearable, you tried opening your eyes but squinted them with the ache, tears filling your eyes. You heard someone calling your name voice laced with shear panic.

"Noona!" With the last call out, you opened your eyes, panting and sweating heavily as if you've ran a marathon, "Calm down, calm down..... Everything is okay, you're okay. Slow down, breathe in, breathe out".

"BamBam...." You whispered, through the mask. Later catching the proper rhythm of breath, still with your head throbbing you managed to rotate your eyes across the room. Hospital.

"I didn't die?" You mumbled which was audible enough for BamBam and Yugyeom to hear. "Noona, stop saying things like that. You're safe and sound. Nothing happened to you by god's grace", Yugyeom snapped, shaking his head.

You didn't dare to ask about Jinyoung, not that he has left your mind or heart, but the slightest thought of him pained your heart, neither did Yugyeom or BamBam were bothered enough to bring Jinyoung up.

Later the doctors performed few tests on you to make sure everything was normal. Fortunately the reports were declared normal and that if you wish you can get back home as soon as possible.

"Shouldn't we call Jinyoung hyung and let him know about her?" Yugyeom asked BamBam, "We should but not now, he's still in the meeting and if we informed him right now, he'll leave that meeting in between and hurry here, which we don't want..." BamBam explained, waiting for doctors to shift you back to your ward.

Thanks to the medicines, due to which your headache completely vanished, you still felt light headed almost floating in the sky, legs wobbly, breathing heavily. The doctor handed you a pair of clothes for you to change from that hospital gown.

"This...." You asked the doctor confused about the clothes which you were certain belonged to you, hesitantly taking the dress from her hand. "The young man who's with you kept these clothes just in case and see it was fruitful", You nodded your head mind thinking about BamBam since he was the one with you meanwhile the doctor clearly referred to Jinyoung.

"You can walk..." Yugyeom uttered examining you from head to toe as you walked with the doctor. "Of course I can, I didn't break my legs".

"So wanna go home?" The doctor asked you with a humble smile, "If you want you can, I'll just arrange the discharge papers".

"Will it be okay to take her so soon, like she just woke up?" BamBam asked worriedly. "Everything is fine, you can take her home. She'll get proper rest at home".

Sitting at the backseat of BamBam's car you stared outside of the window, it was already evening with the sun almost setting while BamBam sat on the driver's nseat with Yugyeom beside him.

"Noona Jinyoung hyung isn't at home, he's busy in some meeting, so no one would be at home, if you want I can take you—" Cutting BamBam in the midway, you sighed in frustration, "I don't want to hear anything about Jinyoung Bam! Just take me somewhere else but not to him".

Yugyeom and BamBam locked eyes in eternal confusion and shock, "What do you mean by not to him?".

"I just don't want to see his face, I don't wanna go back to him".

"But Noona he—".

BamBam held Yugyeom's arms shushing him, "So I'll take you to Youngjae's place then...".

Eyes widening you shrieked loudly, "Youngjae's place? BamBam have you both completely lost it. Why would I want to go to that bastard's place, he's the reason why me and Jinyoung are having problems".

"What do you mean?" Yugyeom cut in curtly.

"I know Youngjae is the one responsible for mine and Jinyoung's relationship to end so brutally!" You snarled clenching your fists, your nails almost digging into your palm's flesh.

"I know you both knew this, then why would you want to take me to his place?", You asserted your pitch rising with every word.

"Because he's your bestfriend" Yugyeom and BamBam announced in unison. Your face falling at their words, pondering over it, a sharp pain shot through your head making you groan in pain.

Part 13 // Part 14 // Part 15

______________________________________

[underswap-rial-ity]

Telepathy doesn’t exist

Papyrus always had a tempter and problem communicating his feelings, Sans has always had to bit back his pride when dealing with it. However this time around things take a turn when the elder brother finally voices his concerns.

“What did I do?”

A soft voice echoed behind the steel door, Muffled by the shoddily assembled foam lining each wall the soundproofing wasn't professionally done, but when power tools were at work at least it was never bad enough to warrant anger from his housemates. If it did, they sure as hell never told him.  “Papyrus, Please. Can’t we talk about this?”

Another call beckoned his attention, Yet the skeleton never once removed his sockets from the blueprints in hand, Soul ached but not in sorrow for his brother. nor the oversized ears that were no doubt eavesdropping up those steps. it ached in a different way, Burned really. Burned like fire with no signs of stopping. Each knock no matter how soft amplified by already shot nerves, consuming every thought until even attempting to read- Not that he really was- became punctuated by the insistent sound.  Hands, already shaky from withheld emotions gripped tightly, crinkling his work. yet on he read, Was it even reading with your sockets closed? No. No he wasn't reading, he was festering. Allowing himself to take in the sound and fuil another outburst.

Quickly as he’d stormed down the steps, Papyrus flew back up, tossing aside both paper and mechanical parts in a whirlwind of wra emotion.  When the door flew open his own expression must have been angrier then he realized, because the relife across Sans face melted into one far more shy and regretful of his actions. Like knocking on that very door had opened up a pandora's box he’d not been prepared for. 

“WHAT!?” the snap had been far louder than Papyrus intended, resulting in a flinch from his elder yet much smaller sibling. From regretful ever still the banded brother held up a hand between each other, before ever attempting to go further he offered an apology. “I’m sorry for knocking so much, You left so quickly I was worried. I know You like your time alone when you’re upset... but you didn’t tell me  why you were angry with me. I am simply here to try and talk it over.-”

“Talk what over? ‘m fine.” Arms now crossed phalanges began to dig into both arms. Shoulders squared blocking off any view of the basement and his work from their brother. An action that the normally welcoming skeleton would never do, it was the first of many tells that clued in the elder. Words can lie while actions never do. “Papyrus.” Sans voice took on a slightly louder tone, not in demanding, he new pushing too much would result in a lockdown from the younger. it was something he’d grown used to... walking on eggshells that is. So he didn’t feel comfortable calling the other out as much as they wanted. Telling him he saw the messages on their friends phone, saw he was kicked from their group chat and blocked on the application to avoid seeing them. “I said I’m fine. I’m busy. You should know that, Im behind on work.” Another block threatened to hide the truth, this time resulting in a back turn.

He knew this gesture, Papyrus was blocking him out, instead retreating to the safety of their laboratory in an attempt to exit a situation he’d rather not be in. This time however Sans refused. Placing a foot between the door almost instinctively.  For a moment there was silence, with glares exchanged. A moment that felt like hours with neither backing down. One who was overcome with anger and the other insistence to understand wether or not they wished to talk about it. “Sans. Move your foot.” “No.” “Sans-” “NO!” The level of their voice slightly caught the younger off guard, but composer was gained before any of that surprise could even show. Hand pulling at the door despite his sibling foot, thankfully those boots had been reinforced with steel long ago. Before his aboveground days. There was no leaving this time, and while he never wished for things to turn out this way, here was nothing Sans could do. 

Three Days it had been like this, With the younger growing made then suddenly without warning giving him the silent treatment, never once with any sort of explanation. Now things had gone too far and backing out would only make things equally as bad. “I want answers, Papyrus. Please, I can’t understand what I did if you aren’t telling me. Ignoring me isn’t going to fix anything, it’s going to make things worse.”

Despite his racing ribcage the smaller skeleton began forcing himself between the crack, Foot keeping it opened hands moved to pry while the youngers worked to close. A tug of wars both Physically and verbally. “OH?! So now I’m a liar? I can’t tell when I'm upset, Sans?!” he snarled eyelight glowing in fiery orange, igniting the darkened septs to his laboratory in bright light, not caring how close he stood to the edge of the steps now. His only focus being foring that door closed, with no care for his brothers feeling’s or safety. “DO YOU PAPYRUS!? Do you really?”  screaming echoed back followed by the drips of tears down sans skull, if it wasn’t for the steep in his boots one may assume it was the door causing those droplets. No that wasn’t it, it was the feeling of betrayal. He knew that Papyrus would never admit to what he did, maybe thats why it hurt. To feel like you’re being belittled by your own friends and family. Without any idea why they feel that way towards you.

other moment of silence drifted by with neither budgine, however this time something was said that loosened Paps grips on the door. “... I liked the blueprints you made for the new Ntt fountain.” At first there was confusin, mouth opening on the younger to question that compliment, but words seemed to choke him, eye sockets growing as realization hit. Those blueprints... he- Those were on his account that sans was- “You know Papyrus, when you block someone they can still see your profile.” Again Sans voice went soft, just above a whisper, but not enough it was straightening for Pap to hear. This was something he clearly wanted them to listen to. “I know what you said Papyrus, I-I know you blocked me. I know everything you said. Even the posts you removed. If you have a problem with me, Tell me. I can’t read your mind Papyrus. You’re just going to wind up losing more trust between us.” With a heaving breath, Sans yanked his foot from the door, by now it had been forgotten about so it wasn’t much of a hassle.

“You want space so bad, have it. I’m packing me and Maggy a bag and we’re leaving. When you’re ready to be honest with me We’ll talk again if not... Well you can only blame yourself.” True to his words by the time Papyrus left that laboratory of his, Sans was gone. Closet still open and house key left on the doormat. He’d not fully believed that Sans would up and leave him so quickly, In the middle of the night at that. Sans was the older brother, the calm collected one between them. Now that wall was gone and he could only blame himself.

[uselessmonsterboy]

Hey, theres an app that rips works from AO3 and puts them in it's own archive that's passing itself off as a "AO3 fanfic mobile reader". Aaaannddddd it has a subscription part to it, so the app developers are making money off of it. Idk if your stuff is on there, I refuse to touch that app with a 10 foot pole, but I'd check and see if your stuff is on there. You can either make your account/work user only, which takes it down, or you can yell at the publishers yourself. 'Cause that's illegal.

Hey ive been seeing this make its rounds and i wanna clear some things from the poking around i did.

This looks like its mostly a result of jumping the gun style fearmongering. The app essentially seems to be a minibrowser specialized for AO3. It is not hosting the information or stories its just a pocket browser that is just a way to view the fics on the AO3 site. They aren't profitting off the fics the way I've seen a number of posts claim, they are charging an optional subscription base to use the app itself. You are paying to use the app and whatever addons it may have, not to read the fics themselves. It's essentially being framed as just funds to keep the codebase running in main part and yeah maybe they make a bit of money but I'm not confident its got that much userbase yet that its anything monumental.

It's not trying to pass itself off as anything it literally is just a mobile reader that is just a super fancy skin for reading AO3, which you could do free on the actual mobile browser anyway but thats neither here nor there. I get the whole thing about worrying about the fic you have made and such that are posted there but its not stripping anything off the fics and making them lose the sources of authorship or credit or anything. It is just a viewer browser and that's all. I have been around online a while and shit gets stolen all the time but I don't see this as one of those times, at the moment at least. Im not going to make my works user only since a number of my readers do not have accounts and I'm not going to punish them for some app that was made to view fics.

The only thing im not happy about with the app is the option to connect your AO3 account directly to it which gives the owner access (but presumably not rights I have to dig more on that) to your log in information.

I'm out and about right now but I will come back and edit this in a bit but for now have this:

[stcrr]

elle fanning. cis female. she/her.  ／  lorelei “lorrie” gunther just pulled up blasting which witch by florence + the machine  — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really -reclusive, but that they make up for it by being so +observant. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say chipped glitter nail polish, a silver gilt mirror, losing yourself in the beat of the music. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( ally, 22, est, she/her )

me: i don’t have a type when it comes to muses! also me: unveils this new muse that is also introverted and anxious but this time with more glitter. anyways, meet lorelei, starr to her fans, and lorrie to her friends, an observant girl, gifted mimic, misfit, mirror, and musician. kind of a jem and the holograms/hannah montana/perfect blue hybrid. details under the cut, like for me to hyu to plot !! 

(also her pinterest im really proud of it you guys)

statistics.

full name. lorelei amelia gunther. nicknames. lorrie. aliases. starr. occupation. singer-songwriter. age. twenty-three. date of birth. february 1st, 1997.  nationality. american. ethnicity. white (austrian and irish).  gender | orientation. cis female | queer. hometown. boston, ma. zodiac sign. aquarius sun, scorpio moon, pisces rising career/voice claim. lorde.

height. 5′9 weight. 120lbs build. willowy.  distinguishing features. wide eyes, full lips, constant bags, probably has glitter in her hair.  health. 7/10; has no major illnesses but eats like shit, has a whack sleep schedule, is a dysfunctional adult basically. she’s also big depressed but you know how it be. 

positive traits. ambitious, intuitive, observant, imaginative, independent,  neutral traits. talkative, intense, impressionable,  negative traits. anxious, avoidant, moody, secretive, resentful, aloof, 

likes. the nighttime, storms, baggy clothes, mountains, weed, lsd, books, blanket forts, lying on the floor, singing, cryptids, cemeteries,  dislikes. being herself, deadlines, dolls/puppets, the paparazzi, social media, planning ahead, the outdoors, conflict, the beach, 

history. 

(tw suicide mention, anxiety attack) (tldr at the bottom)

her mother called her lorelei after the sirens of the rhine; she insisted her first cries were the sweetest song. and lorelei continued to have a beautiful voice; she sang more than she spoke. but only at home. 

she never responded to lorelei, though, not really; it felt too grand for her. she was a chicken-legged girl who liked overalls and goosebumps books. she was just lorrie.

she grew up in a lower-middle class region of boston, ma. her father was a salesman, and her mother was a travel agent. 

for a while, at school, she didn’t speak at all. she was diagnosed with selective mutism at age five, and it took until she was thirteen to overcome it completely. 

this was not at all helped by the fact that her parents had a nasty divorce when she was seven years old. her father used her mother’s ten-year-old suicide attempt against her in court to prove she wasn’t stable, and gained full custody of lorelei and her two older brothers. her oldest brother, matthias, sided with their father, but the middle brother, jeremias, sided with their mom, and tried to run away to his mother’s house basically every month. he ran away for good when he was fifteen, living with his girlfriend’s family. 

what helped her overcome this selective mutism, at least at first, was her middle school drama class. at home, lorelei had always been an excellent mimic. she did her favorite impressions for her drama teacher, and she encouraged her to try some monologues and scenes. as she got better at acting, she realized that she didn’t have to be herself; she could be somebody else. and that made talking all the easier. 

by high school, she was no longer selectively mute, but was still anxious and shy. she was, however, a total drama kid, and still loved to act. she could be outrageous, incredible on stage; she wasn’t being herself, after all, so if people were judging her, it was the character they were judging, not her. 

still she was def the kind of girl who had a mental breakdown every four months and dyed/cut her hair/gave herself bangs. she could never quite shake the feeling that she was an outsider looking in, separated, different. 

she still loved music, and as she grew older, she started to write songs. it was her secret dream to be a musician. one of her theater friends talked her into singing one of them when she was sixteen, and then encouraged her to try out for the talent show. she was able to get through the audition, though she was a little nervous, but she knew it would be fine. she was on stage all the time, this would be fine. 

but this time, she had to be herself in front of the entire school, and she froze up, not a sound leaving her lips. she doesn’t remember leaving the stage; only remembers that suddenly, she was in the girls bathroom, sobbing her eyes out. 

her friends comforted her that night, partying in their basement like they always did, but thats when lorrie had an idea. what if she didn’t perform as herself? 

that’s when a starr was born. 

as lorelei dressed herself up in all the holo and glitter she had, she created starr in her head; she was born beloved, charismatic, fearless, this glitz and glamor girl who had it all, but what now? even at the top, she found emptiness. she was a beautiful supernova, so breathtaking you forgot she was really a collapsing star. 

starr was lorrie’s ultimate muse; she wrote song after song for her in the next few months, until, finally, she asked some of her friends to help her record a music video. she didn’t expect this music video to get 60 million views in a matter of weeks. 

royals, of course, blew the fuck up, and she had people calling her house to get her to sign with this record company or that record company, and her eventual producer flew her out to la with her dad. and, of course, the rest is history. (her dad also blew a lot of the money she earned as a minor but she got rid of him and that’s neither here nor there.) 

however, as she got more and more into the la lifestyle, she began to rely more and more on starr as an alter ego. people liked starr, after all, and lorrie didn’t even like herself. she played the part of the dignified, wise, and eccentric former queen during interviews, when recording, at after parties and award shows. 

even her first major relationship she got while acting like starr, someone fearless and fun, basically a manic pixie dream girl. if you’ve ever listened to the album melodrama, then you know how badly that ended. 

that’s around when she realized that starr had taken over her entire life. coming home from a house party absolutely zonked, she looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize herself, didn’t see that nerdy, overall-clad chicken-legged girl from her family pictures. 

she stripped her clothes off, scraped the makeup off her face until her skin was red and dry, dragged a brush through her hair to get rid of all the product, and pulled on a hoodie and leggings she had brought with her to la a year ago. she wrote the first draft of all the songs in melodrama in the coming hours. 

however, she still wrote from starr’s perspective, knew she’d perform it as starr. it may be far more personal, but lorrie wasn’t ready to come out just yet. in fact, she’s kind of been hiding the last year or so, a full-on depression mess. 

tl;dr lower middle class nerdy girl from boston overcomes crippling social anxiety through acting, finesses this into an alter ego to be a musician, hits it big, loses herself in the alter ego, has a disastrous relationship, and tries to become herself again. 

present.

first of all, her real name is Known to the public, but not her “brand” outside of starr. it’s proven to be a boon as of late; she’s known for basically being a walking sailor moon cosplayer, not a skinny woman in baggy jeans and a big black hoodie.

since she’s trying to work on herself, she’s kind of in a creative slump. like, she still has more than enough royalties off her music to keep her going, but her agent and producer are both pushing her to clean up some of her songs and record them for a new album. she can still write as starr, but it feels... different, now. melodrama was far more personal than pure heroine, and she wants to continue to grow; writing as starr feels like reverting back to her sixteen year old self. but she’s too scared to write as herself So....

at events though she’s still in the gauze and stars people expect from starr. 

trying to reach out to her mom and brother jer again. not her dad, fuck her dad. 

loves true crime, the supernatural, and conspiracy thought. is probably watching a true crime doc rn. 

she’s just starting to leave her house for the first time in like... a year? like she’s only started to get out again in the last few months.

as for drugs, she def drinks, but she’s more likely to smoke weed. also, she’s a big fan of lsd, but holds herself off to only tripping every few months.

is considering moving to the woods and being the lonely crone everyone whispers about. or maybe switching to voice acting. 

she fuckin hates dolls. literally her worst nightmare is being trapped in some collectors’ doll rooms.  

wanted connections. 

melodrama ex (0/1) - the ex she wrote her breakup album about. can be any gender. i literally want this connection so bad kfdskjkadsfds

best friend (0/1) - someone who was with her throughout her... Transformation

squad (0/3) - bc who doesn't love a squad. this is the vibe i’m going for (sound warning)

icon (1/1) - someone lorrie looks up to and like... majorly doesn't wanna disappoint. - filled by kami!!!

musician buddies (0/?) - they bounce lyrics off of each other, you know how it is.

rival pop star (0/1) - idk i just think it would be Neat. maybe even with a plot that they had a major falling out and now they have to pretend to get along.

hookups (0/?) - or other messy shit

texting crush (0/1) - really weird concept but like... i imagine lorrie would have the number or snap or insta or whatever of this muse and they get talking after melodrama and she just... lays it all out. they don't really talk in person, but she feels really close to them and definitely develops a crush

weed buddy (0/1) - they come to her house and smoke and complain its great

friend turned enemy (0/1) - maybe someone who adored starr but doesn't like who she is now?????? idk idk

enemy turned friend (0/1) - maybe someone who thought starr was fake af but then meets lorrie being Herself and is just like "oh you're a Human" idk idk

bonus.

as a thank you for making it to the end of this fucking enormous intro, please take a moment to enjoy these tik toks reflective of lorrie’s personality (they’re also???? great on their own) 

lorrie talking/singing to herself alone in her house 

honestly she has tinkerbell vibes

drunk mouths speak sober thoughts

and thats on mental illness

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 212, Replies Part 2

1) ““I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS” MY ASS IN SILVER PLATE, YOU’RE HAPPY AS HELL BECAUSE MIDORIYA WOULD BE THERE, YOU PROBABLY WAS HOPING TO END UP IN HIS CLASS AS WELL”- I seriously am split on whether Shinso would go better in 1A or 1B after this, because if he’s more present in 1A he’ll get to grow alongside the others and be a constant foil to Midoira’s optimism in a manner akin to Aizawa is to All Might, but if he’s in 1B he’ll be able to have more rival battles with Midoria as well and get to have a more competitive and challenging rematch next time.

2) “thats not a question”- But it is a heartfelt acknowledgement that Midoria himself is somebody worthy of beating and overcoming, crazy quirk or no, and given how their last match ended with Shinso losing to Midoira despite minimal use of his quirk, Shinso’s eager to show him that he’s not so weak anymore that Midoira can beat him without holding back, so it’s basically say ‘hurry up and get this crazy thing under control so we can settle this for real this time’

3) “OH RIGHT, I FORGOT THAT HAVING SHINSO BRAINWASH MIDORIYA IS ALSO A TERRIBLE THING TO HAPPEN SINCE WE KNOW THAT THE ORIGINAL HOLDER IS HANGING SOMEWHERE IN OFA.”- yes… the ‘original’ holder… nothing said there wasn’t room for some company along the journey as well. Heck, you said it yourself- “Oh god, from this angle, the scene takes a completely different meaning. It wasn’t just the original one, all the previous holders were trying to reach him.”

4) “Okay, quick question: How do we know that this thing won’t just break free again when Midoriya wake up from the brainwash?”- Well, it was kinda stuck in a state between ‘firing’ and ‘stop shooting’ as per midoira’s conflicting instructions to it, so at the very least, he’ll know better than to recklessly use his quirk in case of another misfire- which might also mean he was to face off with Shinso in a qurikless state for the rest of the match.

5) “Still no mouth even though you probably want to scream, apparently nothing changed since last time.”- Having no mouth also literally means he has no means to ask what the hell is going on or communicate with the past holder effectively, unless he can sketch questions into the shadowy dirt or something, so he’s literally got no option but to keep quiet and listen to whatever he deems fit to tell him

6) “WAIT A MOMENT, ITS NOT ONLY THE ORIGINAL HOLDER THAT IS CONSCIOUS INSIDE OF THE QUIRK?!”- so, good news, you know how Midoria is struggling with his hero training in part because All might’s such a bad teacher? Well now he’s got 7 additional mentors who can aid, advise and direct him with their own experiences of handling OFA and how to be the best hero in the world. Bad news, this also comes with some additional issues that neither All Might nor any of the other holders have had direct experience with, since this whole ability is unique to Midoria alone after the quirk matured long enough to activate this secondary ability. Additional good news? We don’t need to worry so much about AFO sneaking in and pulling some mind games in midoria’s brain if he’s got hellboy and the others here to pull a guardian angel act over his mind whilst he’s mastering the true power of OFA.

7) “What the hell, was that supposed to be some sort of advice, it looks you’re scolding Midoriya for breaking his neighbor’s window.”-Well, technically Midoria is fucking up massively here, causing the entire rampage and endangering his allies around him out of fear of this new power, so he does need a little scolding, since if anybody else but Mineta had died it would have been a grievous loss for the school and 1A.

8) “What just happened? Why did this dude showed up? What even is going on anymore?”- something that only a bunch of dead people can truly explain anymore, and when that’s a sentence you say with complete honesty and sincerity, you know your life has gone to hell in a handbasket.

9) “Not only will shinso get you with his brainwash, you’ll probably end up almost killing him or monoma, not to say what the fuck will happen if OfA is really bidding his time in your brain, even if he is the force of good.”- well, you technically got everything completely correct, but not probably in the manner you imagined, eh?

@thelreads

[topreview2016]

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