#and like. works to give him the resources to cultivate him as a duishou - match‚ equal‚ rival

[tonyglowheart]

okay finished my reread including the extras and I have some more thoughts percolating on this topic.

I think, in addition to like the "YWS makes him angry, and SQ likes that, actually" / "YWS is enrichment for SQ" and even the "YWS did teach him a lot as stated in the book itself, a lot of SQ's life experiences were - and continue to be - thanks to YWS, YWS in many ways does push him out of his comfort zone and, like, keeps him on his toes" --

I think in addition to that... if you think about it... YWS teases him and pushes his buttons, yes, but also kinda YWS is the only person who treats him as a person, and not as an ideal, goal/obstacle, etc.?

Like, the people who admire him or want him either treat him as aspirational or desirable, but that puts him on a pedestal and turns him into a concept of a person and completely misses his actual personhood. The ones who are dazzled by him and express their ostensibly earnest admiration or love see him as this like untouchable 仙 xian immortal and are blinded by awe or infatuation.

The converse side is the arrogant ones who see him as a goal to be conquered, a challenge to their ranking within jianghu, and want to fight him to assert their dominance over his ranking / position or just on a personal level to show they're better than him.

But even those who may be less arrogant and treat him as aspirational, clearly create this power differential between them that puts SQ above them, and while SQ is generous and kind-hearted, it does make it hard to really have a close intimate relationship with someone who positions themselves as "socially" subordinate to you.

It kind of creates the same problem YWS has with there not being people on his level - and so knowing that, he has no desire to cultivate "friend" relationships with people where that power differential remains ever-present, whether it be explicitly stated or if it just remains as an awkward undertone. (I see an analogy for this as, like,. It'd be awkward for the principal of a school to try to become friends with students, whether they be from their school or other schools. They can become friendly, and develop certain mentor-mentee relationships, but the fact remains that their personal stages are different and there remain power differentials between them.)

YWS on the other hand, for all that his past self had declared with his full chest that he had no need for friends, only a rival (note, I believe the term he uses is 对手 duishou, which notably means opponent or adversary sure, but ALSO means match, equal. So I think "rival" is a good term, but perhaps too.... adversarial in English? imo the way YWS declared he only needed a duishou *to me* sounded more like he only needed a *peer* within jianghu - someone who is on his level and can match his wugong), has also done a lot to *bring up* SQ's wugong *to* his level.

At first maybe it was him experimenting on/with SQ sure, and also just for his own amusement lol, but I think just as YWS grew on SQ, SQ grew on YWS. And definitely by the time that YWS accepted that having had his head cracked open and ~feelings~ have gotten to escape the Pandora's box that is his heart and past, I think YWS - with him suggesting SQ get the Zhou volume of the 《ZhuyangCe》 and then negotiating to get the Tiantai volume for him - that very much is like. as much of an apology for his past words to SQ as he can do given that any apology he says to SQ would be patently false. (to expand- bc of his thing about not regretting his past - I think to him regret would indicate a fixation on the past or an ideal of what things should or shouldn't be, and like he doesn't do that. Which SQ I think also gets & practices cuz it's a very Daoist kind of concept, even if YWS's style of being is very different from SQ's own.)

But yeah, basically.... Like think about it. Who else treats SQ so casually? The people he encounters on his travels tend to want something from him even if they don't know his true identity, and once they do their behavior inevitably ends up changing up one way or another, even if it's just an expected amount of respect due to his various titles/statuses.

I think bystanders or even ppl who are familiar with SQ and hold him in high respect are like "how dare you treat Shen-daozhang/daozun/zhangjiao so casually and with such casual disrespect" -- but like def by the end, YWS who has always kind of had a peerless position but never was really bothered by it, who could even possibly claim to be near his equal? And kinda, same for SQ? Even other sect leaders who may be considered to be on a same or similar level- they all have their entanglements and and positions as public figures/leaders of their factions to consider, so that they may not necessarily be able to develop personal relationships without it having sociopolitical implications.

But yeah, tl;dr- I think yes YWS makes him agry and gets his blood going and he likes it, and yws provides him with a different view on the world than his previously limited experiences and detachment from the world couldn't provide him with (and also provides him with that like worldly connection that brings him back to earth- after all, man can't survive on untried ideals alone). BUT ALSO the provocations stem from and demonstrate how Yan Wushi really does see Shen Qiao the man, not Shen-zhangjiao or Shen-daozun, and that for all that he is this high level daozun... he still is after all a man with thoughts and feelings, and is so easy and fun for YWS to provoke and poke fun at :3 and, like, draw out the human emotions out of him/give him an outlet to let those human emotions come out to play 😗

(in other words, YWS gives him a space to "be himself" and "let his hair down," as it were, and not have to always be Shen-daozun, Shen-zhangjiao, Shizun, etc)

my current goal: pin down what Shen Qiao gets out of yanshen