#and like ryan ross is also my favorite member so that being your reasoning behind not liking brendon is no excuse

[t-a-l-i-a18]

My biggest fear currently is that the Brendon Urie hate will come back ten-fold and then cause the panic! set at wwwy to be cancelled

[arguablyarden-blog]

A (Sorta) New Beginning

Hello, denizens of the Internet, my name is (arguably) Arden.

Which you probably gathered from my username…

Ehem… I have come to Tumblr to do what about fifty-three percent of teenaged girls do: I am going to publically share pretty much my entire life to a bunch of strangers. Which isn’t strange, because I am a teenaged girl. Except, I’m also not. Here’s where the whole “Arguably Arden” part comes into play.

I am bigender. I can be female, male, both, or neither with no real indication or warning signs of switching between genders. I was born as a female, meaning that (most of the time) I am a female-transitioning-to-male, or FTM. And being bigender is not easy.

Let me just state a few facts about myself:

1) While I was born female, my given name is a very male associated name. My sisters and I were given names that would “work” for either male or female children. Nicholas and Nicole. Samuel and Samantha. Ryan and… Ryann. The real kicker here is that my dad added the extra “n” at the last possible moment, without my mother’s imput, to make my name “more girly”. So while normally the name Ryan would be a great name for those in transition, I can’t help but associate it with being female.

2) I am also bisexual. I am bisexual in every gender identity. I could even date someone else who is bigender, although at that point I might be considered pansexual. I was this close to calling this blog “Bi-Bi-Bye” because I am trash who secretly likes boybands and the occasional pun. Also, cooking shows and Bob Ross. But then again, who doesn’t love Bob Ross?

3) I have just recently come to terms with my sexuality and gender identity. I thought for a long time that I was a straight girl, then a bisexual girl, then a bisexual boy, before finally coming across the term bigender. I thought for so long that I was transgender and just hesitant about taking the plunge and getting surgery done. Finally being able to give a name to what I am was the most freeing experience of my life. Finding out that there are other people out in the world who were going through these same problems gave me hope for my future, which I hope to give to others though this blog.

4) I am living at home. I have just graduated high school, and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for Fact of Life number five…

5) I haven’t come out to my family. Not about my sexuality, not about my gender identity, and I don’t have one member of my family I’ve told about all this that I’ve sworn to secrecy. My life is not a tv show. And that’s why I get to pour out my heart and soul into what is basically a glass diary. Everyone can see it, and at any point in time the whole thing could shatter into a million pieces leaving me FUBAR-ed. So yay.

Now that you’ve got some background into how I get to where I am, I figured I’d give some background on who I am.

While trying to figure out my seperate identities for being male/female/amazing amorphous blob, I’ve thrown around different names to call myself. While most people would be content with a masculine/feminine equivalent of their given name, I can’t really do that, as I ranted about in the stereotypical “Get To Know Me” section of this post. So in my infinite wisdom, I went to my favorite naming website to try and pick out some good ones. It’s called BehindTheName.com, and you can use a million different filters to narrow down the thousands of names they have. I use it all the time for short stories I sometimes try to write but never show anyone.

What was I saying? Anyways, back to me. Right now I have three names I am reasonably happy with.

My female name right now is Melanie. Melanie means black or dark. I chose Melanie because, despite being completely female, Melanie will always be a bit of an oddball, or a black sheep. Melanie will always gravitate more towards antique furniture, leather bound books, Victorian fashion, and Old English. Melanie would rather sketch a lakeside than go splash around in the water.

My male name for the moment is Desmond. I’m not going to lie, a large part of why I like the name Desmond so much stems from Desmond Miles from the Assassin’s Creed franchise. Otherwise, Desmond means “from South Munster”. This sounds pretty lame until you learn that the old Kingdom of Desmond in Ireland is full of anchient castles and breathtaking scenary. That’s part of what makes Desmond special, he’s not what you’d expect. He enjoys long car rides and rock songs, but he also like photography and watching the sun set. Desmond love muscle cars and working out, but he also likes watching a good sitcom that’ll make him laugh.

They name I’ll be going by on here is my gender neutral name; Arden. The reason I'm Arguably Arden is because I’m not just Arden. I could be Melanie when I’m writing this, and Desmond when I post it, but Arden will always be okay. I chose Arden as the name I post under because I don’t care if I’m male or female when you try and talk to me or if I try and talk to you. Arden is like the nickname Melanie and Desmond both have in common, and they don’t care if you call them that. Arden is the perfect blend of Melanie’s romanticism with the classics, and Desmond’s fondness of the modern. Other than that, Arden is Celtic for “high”. But that not really why I picked Arden. Arden is a gender neutral name, as well as the name of many towns and cities around the world. Arden can be found in Canada, Denmark, England, Scotland, and the United States. Arden is a name put to a concept that many people can get behind, including Melanie and Desmond.

So this is it. This is my long winded first attempt at any sort of blogging or even writing down my thoughts. If anyone finds me in the great wide nowhere, feel free to let me know. And if you have your own thoughts and opinions towards me and mine, well, you can tell me that to.

And while it doesn’t really matter to anyone, I’m going to try and post here at least once a month, and let you guys know what’s going on. Oh, and in the future, expect a lot more cursing. I was trying to be a good little amorphous blob, but I can’t guarantee anything for the next installment of me. See ya later.