#and like lizard beastmen?

[temiizpalace]

Can i have Malleus and Leona with prompt 3?

☆┊PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER! NOT HIS! (🐉 vs. 🦁)

SUMMARY: THEY BOTH OFFER HIS SHOULDER TO REST ON. WHO KNEW IT BECAME A FULL BLOWN WAR!

CHARACTERS: malleus draconia vs. leona kingscholar

EVENT MASTERLIST

WARNINGS: no determined end couple, jealousy, crowley sucks at being a guardian 👎👎👎

NOTES: leona suffering chronicles part 3!!! /j tysm for your request!

reader is g/n, reader is yuu

˚∘☆∘˚

helping crowley had many benefits.

weekly payments, a home and shelter, and a beloved father figure. that’s what he claims anyway. however, from yours and grim’s experience, there were also many drawbacks; he forgets to pay you, he forgets about you, you’re his favorite errand runner, and you tend to pull all-nighters in order to finish up his chores.

in short, helping crowley was just asking for a death wish. finally finding some free time in your day to rest, you sat onto a nearby bench hidden by the trees, basking you in some shade.

“urgh.. if i have to run down anymore papers to crewel i think ima be sick.” grim groans, stretching himself into your lap before curling up to nap. “tell me about it.. im sick of being sam’s supplier.” you sigh, leaning your head onto the back of the bench. “child of man? what are you doing outside of class?” a certain prince calls out, suddenly sitting by your side.

“tsunotaro? i could ask you the same question.” you laugh, suddenly snapping yourself awake. “wasn’t there a housewarden meeting today?” you ask, seeing his face twist into a pout. “if that is the case then they have failed to invite me.” he sighs, crossing his arms with a frown.

“seriously? again?” you scoff, shaking your head. “i’ll have a talk with crowley about this when i see him later.” you smile at him, patting his back. “i appreciate it. you’re too kind, really.” malleus looks into your eyes, not being able to resist smiling back at you. as you both continue to converse like normal, you have yawned far too many times for the poor boys liking.

“are you sleeping alright? i believe you yawned at least 10 times during our conversation. are my topics too boring for your liking?” he frets, sudden worry overriding his emotions. were you losing interest in him? are you going to leave him?! oh no. no no no no no no no no—

“why would you think that?! im always interested in what you have to say. crowley has been working me ragged lately, that’s all.” you reassure malleus, giving him a thumbs up as if what you said wasn’t concerning in the least. “why that lousy..” he mutters, eyes narrowing at the facts. how dare that stupid insolent prick drive his poor beloved prefect to the brink of exhaustion. it’s inexcusable.

“im on a break for once, so me and grim were just resting here.” you smile, pointing to your sleepy catlike companion. speaking of catlike companions, leona watched from a faraway tree your little chat with malleus. yuck. he’s already annoyed when you talk to other beastmen, but talking to that horned bastard just left a bad taste in his mouth.

“well, you’re more than welcome to rest on—”

“hey.” leona huffs, plopping himself beside you. malleus’ eye twitched at the sight. are you shitting me. what is he doing here? isn’t there a housewarden meeting for him to attend to? go away. “leona?! shouldn’t you be at the housewarden meeting?” you exclaim, practically taking the words right out of malleus’ mouth.

“mm, ditched. no way am i attendin something stupid like that first thing in the morning.” he shrugs, crossing his legs and making himself comfortable. “looks like someone wasn’t invited.” leona grins, pointing at the obviously annoyed prince sitting beside you. “if you had just come to insult me, then you can take your leave and save it for later, kingscholar.” malleus replies with a polite yet harsh tone.

“not everythin’s about you, lizard. can’t i care for my own underclassmen?” leona frowns, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “..pardon?” malleus furrowed his brow, watching as the lion prince got far too touchy for his taste. “they got eye bags, probably haven’t been sleeping well. since im such a kindhearted senior, i don’t mind if they rest a lil.” he smirks, leaning you onto his shoulder.

“really?!” you shout in disbelief, nearly waking poor grim up. leona was one to never admit to anything, always keeping you guessing. seeing him so.. direct threw you and malleus for a loop. “would you rather rest on tree bark?” he raised a brow, leaning closer to your face. “nope! thanks i guess, leona.” you hastily accept, deciding not to question it.

“thanks for talking to me malleus, it kept me from falling asleep.” you smile, now shutting your eyes. in a matter of seconds, you had already fallen asleep, relieved from all the previous exhaustion. the two princes glared at one another, tensions rising to new heights. “your services are no longer needed, you can go to the housewarden meeting. consider it an invite.” leona chuckles, waving malleus off towards the hallway, earning a genuine look of anger from the usually calm and collected fae.

“i appreciate the sentiment, but i believe the child of man and i were having a heartfelt conversation before you showed up. as king of briar valley, consider yourself excused.” malleus retorts, moving you over onto his shoulder. leona scowls in return to his obvious insult, very gently moving your head back to him. “if i remember right, they chose to lean onto me. not nice taking what’s not yours.”

“don’t act like you didn’t just steal their attention.” malleus scoffs, tugging you back towards him. “why you horned bastard.” leona growls, bearing his fangs at the now smug prince. and so, the game of tug of war began. constant pulling back and forth, back and forth, it was a miracle you hadn’t waken up yet. poor prefect..

HOWEVER, a certain someone else felt the shaking, and just couldn’t stand it. grims eyes flutter open as he looks to the two housewardens tugging you left and right with a frown. “HEY,” grim shouts, startling the two as they looked down. “do ya mind?! some of us need to get a lil shut eye.” he hisses, trying to look at the very least intimidating. “shut it, pipsqueak.” leona grunts, glaring at grim.

“grim, i believe it is best if you don’t intervene.” malleus stated sternly, moving him off of your lap. “HOW DARE YOU! GRIM THE GREAT LISTENS TO NOBODY! [MC]! WAKE UP, WE’RE SLEEPING SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM THESE FREAKS.” grim shrieks, almost rupturing both of their eardrums.

you stir awake at grim’s shrill voice, rubbing your eyes with a grumble before looking downwards. “huh..? oh, tsunotaro? leona? you’re still here?” you mumble, turning your your sides to see the two boys covering their ears. “let’s get outta here and sleep somewhere else. crowley might find us and give us somethin else to do.” grim frowns, tugging your hand.

“alright, alright, jeez. calm down, will ya?” you sigh, reluctantly getting up and following him inside. “i’ll see you both later! don’t go arguing more, ya hear?” you show them a smile before grim drags you out of sight, leaving both boys dumbfounded.

“it’s your fault they left. tch, dumb lizard.” leona grunts, glaring daggers into malleus. “my fault? how about saying that again after i shave off that mane of yours?” he jeers, feeling a vein about to burst. “haah? what was that?!”

they did indeed, argue again.

A/N: three leona requests in a row is crazy 😭😭 he can’t catch a break (imagine leona bald tho)

date published: 8/25/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

since i started looking more into mating rituals and parenting styles of crows (for very normal reasons i swear), i've begun to find the "Crowley is a dead-beat dad" joke a bit ironic, as most of the websites i've seen said that crows are actually very involved in their chicks lives while they're still in the nest. one website even considered crows "one of the best parents in the animal kingdom"

I’ve researched bird mating myself (not for TWST reasons, but because I have to care for a Real Bird), though not for crows specifically. Very interesting (and ironic)!

I wonder just how much “truth” there is behind that irl crow stuff and TWST lore 🤔 Because we have some clear instances of the real life animal reflecting TWST fantasy races’ behaviors! For example, Jack states that wolf beastmen are monogamous (they mate for life and stick to that one partner), which is true of actual wolves too. Ruggie’s mother died giving birth to him, an occurrence which is not uncommon among female hyenas. The shape of the… uh… birth canal… is often too small and has a sharp turn, so giving birth is traumatic/can lead to complications so severe it literally kills the mom. Hyenas are also not monogamous, which may partially be why there is lore about Ruggie’s father leaving and never returning. There’s also non-mating behaviors which are reflective of irl animals, such as women from the Sunset Savanna being “strong” (since lionesses do most of the hunting), Azul having a strong grip (like that of an octopus), or Sebek’s family having scales and a strong bite (like crocodiles). I would say irl animals being used as part of character references is fairly common.

However! There are also examples of TWST’s fantasy races not exactly aligning with irl animals and their behaviors. When Leona talks about his brother and his wife, he refers to the wife singular, not wive(s). Irl lions have prides and mate with various partners over the span of their life. It’s rare for lizards (the closest thing to dragons, lol) to be monogamous, yet Maleanor seemed very loyal to her husband Raverne and is even described to dote on him. We also don’t know much about the twins’ or Azul’s families’ behaviors, so there isn’t much to compare there.

So really, I wonder where Crowley lies on this spectrum of “animal realism” 😂 Based on solely his current attitude, yeah… He ain’t much of a “Parent of the Year” www

[suzumori521]

I saw the trans beastmen question and I think the closest we have to that as an animal are species like the clown fish where; when the female dies a male takes on the role of female and another from the school becomes male. There’s also a species of lizard where they’re all female, but some have a random boost of testosterone which tricks another female into believing they’re being mounted by a male and begin producing fertile eggs. Hope this helps a little.

I just learned about the clownfish's ecology! 😳 Thank you! It's fascinating how creatures can change gender or have unique reproductive methods.

However, I'd like to share some interesting information about insects here! 😋

There's an insect called Neotrogla where the reproductive organs of males and females are reversed. These cave-dwelling insects have a unique mating behavior where the female inserts her "penis" into the male to receive both sperm and nutrients, allowing her to efficiently nourish herself.

Additionally, the red flour beetle is known to engage in mating between males. The benefit of this behavior lies in one male transferring its sperm to another male, which can then indirectly fertilize a female when that sperm-carrying male mates with her.

I found these facts to be incredibly fascinating. Nature is truly amazing!

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

What Are Some TWST Headcanons That You Will Defend With Your Life?

One headcanon that I will die behind is that the Tweels, Malleus, and non-mammalian [and some mammalian] Beastmen are all precotial babies—by that I mean they take longer in the egg/womb but hatch out rather independent kinda like Deer, lizards and turtles.

Another is that Merfolk that hatch out of eggs have evolved past the need for nipples despite taking on more humanoid traits to adapt to the mixing of species, but considering how solitary Merfolk are because of their rarity they mostly evolved past nipples, however if they do have nipples it mostly one of three things and that's:

They live near bodies of water that is populated by humans so an ancestor was a human.

They are mammalian based like whales.

It functions as a wisdom tooth.

Unique Magics actually evolve as the person changes but the main concept stays the same mostly because I hate the idea of Riddle being stuck with a Unique Magic that reminds him of his mother and moreso a Unique Magic that changes to better emphasize that he's broken free from her influence.

And finally, that Vil and Jamil have a Beastman ancestor that was poisonous/resistant to poisons.

[alhaithams-big-naturals]

Continuation of Cryptid Cyno, longer than I expected it to turn out so it's under a readmore >.<

Despite Alhaitham healing fine, Kaveh was more of menace. Apparently, it was 'irresponsible' and that he 'told him so'.

But now that meant his roommate sat across from him nose in one of the books Alhaitham had grabbed about cryptids.

After a while of reading, Kaveh set the book he was reading down and looked over at Alhaitham, who slowly looked up from his book.

"I think the Mothman could make a good lover."

Alhaitham blinked at him and stared.

"Like I think he would be sweet. He seems sweet."

Alhaitham sighed, "Have you found anything from our town or do you want to go find and sex up mothman?"

"No! No sexing up!" Kaveh gasped, "You know I don't do that."

He nodded slowly and before he could go back to reading, someone slammed their hands onto the desk.

"You want to know about the creatures around here?"

It was a man with fluffy white hair, he sat down next to Kaveh and smiled.

"My name is Jing Yuan, how about you?"

~

As they left the library, Kaveh leaned towards Alhaitham and whispered.

"I don't think we should trust that guy."

Alhaitham stopped and looked at Kaveh, "And why is that?"

He huffed, "He talked about giant lizard people and stone knights"

"He said they were dragons and called Vidyadhara." Alhaitham pointed out, "Besides. After meeting the beastman, I'm curious what else hides right under our noses."

Kaveh thought for a moment before sputtering out, "He looks too... put together to be a cryptid hunter!"

"Kaveh. He looks like a librarian."

He didn't have a retort for that so he just huffed and continued walking.

Alhaitham put the paper with Jing Yuan's phone number in his pocket and hurried to catch up with Kaveh.

~

The next day Kaveh dropped two backpacks full of supplies on the counter while Alhaitham was eating breakfast.

"Since you won't give it up and we can't find anything." Kaveh smirked, "Time to get hands on."

Alhaitham nodded slowly, "Okay... I'll get ready after finishing this then."

"I'm bringing my gun."

He stopped eating and looked up at him.

"You are not bringing your gun."

"Beastmen, stone knights, and giant dragons are out there according to you and that librarian." He glared.

He sighed, "And if they meant harm then that librarian would not have been alive to tell us."

Alhaitham leveled a glare at Kaveh.

"Fine!" He huffed, "I won't bring it!"

~

Thirty minutes later, as they parked they saw only one other car. It was an old beat up pickup truck with peeling white paint.

"Looks like we're not the only ones here." Kaveh murmured.

As they got out, grabbing their things, both of them spotted the yellow caution tape on the ground near the entrance.

"Hm." Alhaitham slung his backpack on and walked over, Kaveh quickly following.

"When was caution tape put up?" Kaveh peered over his roommate's shoulder.

He was crouched, looking around when he found a note folded up and put to the side.

Trails closed until further notice.

"Ah, what a shame." Kaveh mumbled.

"Not a shame to you at all." He pointed out, "If you want to leave, be my guest, but I am going to find Cyno again and thank him."

His roommate froze at those words, "THANK HIM? Who are you what have you done with my Alhaitham."

As Kaveh muttered about head injuries as he stepped foot onto the trail.

He quickly caught up upon seeing Alhaitham was simply going to leave him behind.

~

An hour or maybe more so two, they heard a shout of alarm from up ahead.

They quickly ran around the bend and saw the librarian fighting off...

"Is that a rifthound?" Kaveh gasped, taking a panicked step back, "I read about them in those books we were looking at."

"So how can we help?" Alhaitham asked, gesturing to the man who was currently defending the hulking wolf-like creature back with a stick just between it's mouth and his face.

"Uhm... uh..." Kaveh looked around in panic before realizing something.

Alhaitham looked at him, "Did you figure some-"

Kaveh pulled out his gun and shot at the wolf.

The wolf startled and let go of the stick, causing the man to tumble back. It looked up at them, saw the weapon in Kaveh's hands and retreated.

Jing Yuan got up and looked up at them with a baffled expression, "What are you two doing here?"

Alhaitham, however, was more focused on something else.

"You brought the gun? Seriously?"

Kaveh nodded, "And I saved the weird librarian."

Said librarian was walking over. As he approached the ground started shaking as something heavy walked.

"Better late than never." The man grumbled with a sigh.

Kaveh screamed as a man peered out from between the tall pines.

"Hello, Dan Heng." Jing Yuan smiled.

The giant slapped it's tail down between the pair and librarian.

A teal dragon's tail.

"They are friends." Jing Yuan reassured as the giant dragon scooped him up.

Alhaitham nudged the shocked Kaveh, "See, wasn't lying."

Kaveh quickly put his gun on safety and put it back in the holster on his hip.

"Is... it friendly..?"

Jing Yuan chuckled, "He is passive right now."

"Passive?" Alhaitham questioned and Kaveh shifted nervously next to him.

The librarian was set down and he smiled.

"This is Dan Heng. He is a vidyadhara also known as the giant dragons."

He slowly removed his tail from between them.

"No more shooting." He mumbled, curling his tail around Jing Yuan.

Kaveh nodded quickly, "But it got the rifthound away."

Suddenly, the giant went alert, tightening his hold around Jing Yuan who chuckled.

"Little too tight, my friend."

Instantly, he brought his tail away. It was thumping on the ground as he looked around. Kaveh coughed as the dirt was stirred around in the air.

"It's going to bring back it's pack."

"And we'll be fine, yes?" Jing Yuan looked up at him.

Dan Heng looked at the other two before smiling softly at the librarian, "You will be fine."

"And them?"

"They may not be fine."

Jing Yuan glared at the giant dragon.

"We could just run, right?" Kaveh asked.

He shook his head, "They know your smell, no outrunning them..."

"I thought you read the page on them." Alhaitham questioned.

Kaveh got flustered, "I just skimmed it..."

Suddenly they heard a howl.

"The pack is coming. We need weapons." Jing Yuan hurriedly ran to his discarded bag, two rusty swords lay near it, "I come and collect old weapons around here for my son. Hopefully they'll be decent enough."

"Jing Yuan, they're coming from that way get over here." Dan Heng's tail grew agitated.

He tossed the swords over as he felt piercing claws sink into his back.

"Jing Yuan!" The giant bellowed standing to full height and slapping the wolf welp away.

Kaveh quickly picked up a sword and charged, tears in his eyes forming, "This is my fault."

Before Alhaitham could pick up one, he felt teeth sink into his arm. He didn't notice a wolfhound had gotten close. It was bigger than the one from before, most likely the leader of the pack.

He let a shout of pain.

Leaves crunched as a purple blur shot out from the trees and tackled the rifthound.

Alhaitham picked up the sword and charged at the wolf that had attacked him.

Together, they drove it off along with Kaveh and Dan Heng having drove off the welps.

Now with the commotion died down, Alhaitham finally managed a look at the blur that had jumped in.

"Cyno." He sucked in a breath.

"You are a foolish human." He refused to meet his eyes.

"I wanted to thank you for last time, properly... and now this time too."

"No." The beastman shook his head, "You need to leave and never come back. It's too dangerous."

Before Alhaitham could argue back, Dan Heng picked him up. The giant quietly stood, carrying all three humans back to the start of the trails.

~

They were both quiet as Kaveh drove them. They were behind Jing Yuan's truck. The dragon had actually turned human, his clothes and everything changing. He was still as silent as ever.

Alhaitham clutched his arm.

"What are we going to tell them?" Kaveh asked with a sigh, "Wolf attack?"

He stayed quiet, lost in thought, as he stared out the window at the trees passing by.

"Hey... your beast was right." He started, "I know it's not what you want to hear, but the trails are dangerous."

Seeing that Alhaitham wasn't go to talk, he sighed.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Alhaitham."

~

The clinic was run by a young vidyadhara according to Dan Heng. Her name was Bailu.

Alhaitham moved his arm cautiously for a moment after getting the bite cleaned and bandaged.

Kaveh sat nearby, fidgeting nervously.

Across the room, Jing Yuan sat smiled mischievously at Dan Heng. He took his injury in stride.

"I'm sorry." Kaveh spoke after a while, "Alhaitham told me no guns and I still brought a gun."

The librarian looked up, "You didn't know."

Kaveh shrunk into himself, he still felt bad.

~

A week later, Alhaitham was walking home late from his job. It was dark out and the streetlights above flickered.

There was a motorcycle was coming down the road and stopped next to him. Curiously, he stopped as well.

Glowing red eyes met his.

"Need a ride?"

[toreii]

Tamashina Mina spoilers part 10

Sunset Savanna - Elephant Legacy

Kalim notices that beadwork is sold all over Elephant Legacy. He says accessories like bracelets, necklaces, keychains, and coasters being sold. Kalim mentions that he saw a lot at the souvenir shops in Sunrise City. Leona says beads are familiar in the area since they’ve been used as ornaments since ancient times. There are still many bead artisans. Everything is handcrafted from natural materials making it one-of-a-kind. Vil comments that they are all beautiful.

Lilia wonders if he should buy beaded coasters instead of a pennant as a souvenir. They often enjoy their coffee in the dorm despite Sebek being unable to drink coffee, so he just pretends to drink it. Kalim says it’s fine. Silver will be happy to receive such beautiful coasters. Lilia asks which pattern should he get. Silver is like a bird, and they are often together at school. Sebek likes crocodiles, so he will pick those. As for Malleus… Lilia says he has no likes or dislikes for animals. It’s troublesome. Kalim picks one up, and asks Lilia what he thinks. Lilia replies it’s not good enough. Rather, it should be… Kalim tells Lilia that is also good. However…

Leona has had enough. He says they’re being annoying, and picks a coaster himself. He tells Lilia a lizard is fine. It suits Malleus. Lilia ponders if that’s so. Since it is a recommendation of the locals, he decides to go with Leona’s choice. Lilia thanks him, and says Malleus will be pleased. Leona says it’s not for him. He just doesn’t want to spend time picking out a souvenir for that horned bastard. Vil snickers saying that he never imagined Malleus would receive a souvenir picked by Leona. The shop owner thanks Lilia for his purchase. He’s thrilled having bought his coasters. Lilia says he can’t wait to gift it to Malleus.♪ With that settled, Leona informs the group it is time for their special training. They’re going to the arena. He instructs everyone to get in the car.

Sunset Savanna - Arena

Vil asks if this place will be where Catch The Tail will be held. Leona says yes. Their practice time is limited, so they should get started. Lilia states that they don’t know a thing about Catch The Tail. Leona tells him he made time to teach them. First, he tells them to take off their cloak. It will get in the way of the Catch The Tail match. Our lovely NRC trio strips, and Kalim exclaims that it will be easier to move. Lilia says his body has become lighter. Vil says it gives a cool impression. He assesses that the cloak is a subdued color, but the sleeveless crop inner is colorful. It’s a color scheme that’s perfect for a special day like a festival. The armlet isn’t just for fashion, it also supports.

Leona concurs because bodies will be colliding with each other. It’ll be troublesome to end up like Jack, and asks if everyone is taking measures against the heat. Lilia replies that he is wearing special sunscreen he brought with him. Kalim added long beads to his mask just as Leona told him to do. Leona says it’s the rules to wear them.

Vil inquires about Catch The Tail. Are they imagining an animal’s tail? Grim interjects saying if it’s about tails, he has one too! Leona corrects them. While the origin of the name originated from the beads, it actually represents a mane. Since ancient times, the lion beastmen have always sported braids in their hair in the image of a mane. (So, that’s why Leona has braids in his hair.) Grim mutters that he does not have a mane.

Vil understands. The beads are braided pigtails. To be used by lion beastmen excluding other people. Kalim says it’s cool when the beads shake every time he moves. Leona says he doesn’t care about appearance or tradition, but it’ll be easier than other hairstyles once they get used to it.

Moving on, Leona says that the match will take place on the arena, one-on-one. The first one to get the bead attached by the opponent wins. Easy, right? Lilia concludes that the one who steals the mane wins. It’s a simple and clear rule. He does not hate it. Vil recalls that magic can’t be used. Leona confirms it. No weapons, either. They will be fighting with their bodies only. It’s a show of respect to the kings of the country who only fought with their fangs, claws, and wisdom. The tournament will be in a bracket format with sixteen teams. The team that wins two games first advances to the next round. Vil adds that if the win three games, they will win. Leona says they will fight with each other first. He’ll show them their strengths and weaknesses. Vil understands. He’s ready to get started. Kalim agrees.

—After the practice match

Leona concludes their practice session. He tells everyone gather around. Kalim asks Leona what he thinks. Leona replies that Lilia is the best one. His attack and defense are not amateur moves. He is a perfect major piece. Kalim inquires what he means by major piece. Lilia explains that it is a word that refers to a high-value piece in chess. Leona says it’s the queen and rook to be exact. Kalim says that in other words, Lilia is amazing! Lilia giggles. To be praised so much is embarrassing.

Leona says there are also minor pieces. The knight and bishop are said to be less valuable than a major piece. In their team, that would be Vil. His strength is second to Lilia. Against most opponents, they can be counted for two wins. Just as planned. Vil is happy, regardless. He does not mind the word, minor.

Leona states the problem is Kalim. He already knew, but there’s no strength in his movement. Even without power, there are ways to strike, such as hitting the opponent’s blind spot, or suddenly ramming them. Kalim says he can’t be that cruel. Vil says it’s hard to imagine Kalim being caught in the opponent’s blindness, or by surprise. Lilia mentions that Kalim is a gentleman. He is not suitable for competitions like this. Leona tells Kalim if he struggles to fight, they won’t win one match. Kalim apologizes. Leona continues to say that in terms of chess pieces, Kalim is a pawn. Vil states that a pawn is a piece that can only advance one square. Lilia surmises that the expectation is low. He tells Kalim he will give him some tips. All he has to do is take the other party’s beads like swoosh! Pow! Bang!♪ Kalim exclaims that he will try. Vil is surprised Kalim understood those instructions. Kalim replies it’s how he learned playing the drums.

Leona says that now that he knows what they are capable of, he will guide them from here on out. Just like the trio, Leona takes off his cloak. Vil comments that Leona looks good, as always. If he were to appear in the game, the audience would be excited, won’t they?(I think we all are, Vil😂) Leona reminds him that he can’t compete. His position is to lead the Sunset Warriors. If he were to join a team, they’d be accused of being unfair. The moment he goes up into the arena, Kifaji will jump up, and be seriously pissed. Their team will be disqualified on the spot, and all their practice will be in vain.

Vil takes back what he said, and reminds Leona to behave himself. Grim remarks that Leona is the most useless, after all. Leona is like “What did you just say? This hairball…” Lilia says that since they can’t join them in the games, they’ll have to cheer them on from the stands. He gives an example, “Lilia! Do your best!” He encourages Leona to say it. Leona is like “Says who?” Lilia calls him boring.😆 Leona says it’s time for a fun, fun lesson. They’re going to practice for hours. Anyone can do it, so they should join.

Choice A: “I’ll cheer for you!”

Kalim wants Yuu to look at him. Lilia tells them to be amazed by his brilliant technique. Vil tells Yuu to let him know if they notice anything.

Choice B: “Can I help you with something?”

Leona tells Yuu to prepare the drinks. They’re going to do some intense exercises under the sun. It will consume a considerable amount of strength. If Yuu doesn’t want to miss their exhausted faces, Leona tells them to come back early.

—A few hours later

The sun is setting. The boys are out of breath. Kalim says he is tired. Leona asks if they’re exhausted yet. Vil notices that Leona is not out of breath. Leona says that dealing with guys who did Catch The Tail for the first time today will leave them breathless. Kalim is impressed with Leona. He heard from Kifaji. It’s more than he imagined. Lilia says he can’t stand his age.(This line sounds weird, but I don’t think Lilia means teeth like the kanji first suggests.) Lilia further says that even though they were moving under the sun, he didn’t expect there would be such a difference in ability. The age difference, or so he guesses. (I was right!)

Leona says that’s how it is. But, they’ve gotten a lot better. Vil agrees. It was helpful to hear specific advice. Lilia says they will fight according to the strategy given by Leona in the match. Kalim is looking forward to tomorrow. Leona informs that their practice is over. They’re going back to the hotel.

To be continued

[shiny-jr]

in the apartment au with pets thing, do you think they’ll try to pry information out of your pets when you’re gone? just imagining malleus on his knees, begging your lizard to tell him if you ever talk about him lol

(wait actually would any of them offer to try and teach you how to communicate with them—?)

I think it largely depends. Canonically, some of the students can understand animals, like Ruggie and other beastmen that are good with animal languages. Or like Kalim and Silver who are just naturally good with animals like some sort of disney princesses. Then it depends if they even like the pet in the first place, or if the pet likes them.

[jams-sims]

Saw spoilers for little baby Malleus and I wanna kiss him on his little snot!

Twst gotta stop making all the boys some form of hybrids. Because, there should be a little option to resist the urge to grab the beastmen tails. Now you're telling me Malleus has a tail? Let MC grab it, hold him like the small lizard man he is.

[skxrbrand]

One thing's become abundantly clear as the days drag on: The men of Skeggi are neither numerous enough nor disciplined enough to be a threat to Naggaroth.

Their forces will need bolstering. And he hears tell of lizard-like beastmen lurking in the Mountains, hellish hybrids who follow a Serpent God said to be one of Slaanesh's many paramours.

The Reaper pinches the bridge of his nose, like he's seen some men do when aggravated. Why did everything seem to lead back to Slaanesh and his lackeys?

[zmasters]

A Space Mercenary’s Job Interview, a Warhammer 40k Short Story

Marianne stood in the center of the large elevator, heavily vibrating as it spend down. The blonde, former noblewoman wore a dress uniform. Casual for her standards, but more on the fancier side amongst the renegades who called the orbital base home.The elevator was designed with the intention of carrying squadrons of fully armored space marines, causing the large metal tube to feel empty with the single, normal human occupant.

The sudden stop nearly knocked Marianne to the ground. The door slowly opened, and after adjusting herself, she passed through the door.

The fallen noble wandered into the bar, the dark room filled with humans, astartes, mutants, and xenos. All of which the knight pilot would have happily slaughtered mere weeks ago. To her left was the bar proper, tended by a mechanical creature with spider-like legs and metal tendrils spawn from its back. These tendrils poured bottles of multi-colored drinks for a group of five space marines, still wearing their armor. They seemed to be celebrating something, a successful mission most likely. To her right was a stage, with a catwalk leading to a pole. A scantily-clad woman had three, pale arms and a multiple of black spikes across her body. Despite her mutations, the crowd of cultist and traitor guardsmen was loving her show. Marianne was even having trouble looking away, though she didn’t know if she was actually enjoying the dancer’s performance, or that she was just attracted to the sweet smelling musk emitting from her.

Despite these distractions, Marianne’s goal was the door on the other end of the room. The door being blocked by the large, green reptilian.“What do you want?” The lizard hissed. The bodyguard was as tall as a space marine, and their armor resembled that of modified space marine power armor.

“I’m here to see Zax.” Marianne answered with authority.

“Zaxss is busssy, come back later.”“Wait a second Vivi.” A woman wearing a black and gold robe stepped in between the human and the lizard. She had light brown fur covering her body and a pair of curved black horns emerging from her head. Her face was covered in a golden silk face mask, with a single, blue eye in the center of it. “Mari’s with me.”

The reptile’s eyes lit up as they stepped aside. “Of course. Zax will be back in a few minutesss, so make yourselvesss comfortable.”

Marianne opened the door and entered. Before the furry woman could follow, the lizard placed a clawed hand on her shoulder. “Makes sssure your human behavesss.”

“I always do.” She said. “By the way Vivi, did you sharpen your claws? They look like they can disembowel an ork.”

“You alwaysss know how to make a girl blusssh Vera. Get in there.”

The two found themselves inside of an office. An office designed for a space marine. The desk rose to Marianne’s chin, and the three leather chairs were gigantic. Vera climbed into one of the chairs, which was a struggle on it’s own, and sat down. Her hooved feet barely hung over the chair’s edge, and she could’ve fit two more Veras in the chair with her. “Glad I caught ya.”

“I had it.” Marianne said defensively.

“You had it.” Vera said mockingly.

“Whatever. Just tell me what this Zax guy is like.”

“Big.”

“I got that.” Marianne angrily replied as she struggled into her chair. "Give me a personality.”

“Diplomatic, for a space marine. Zax acts as the middleman between mercenaries and employers for the sector, so he's used to talking with all sorts of people.”

“And what kind of people are we talking about?”

“Chaos warbands, eldar corsairs, ork freebooters, rogue traders, the more tolerant members of the inquisition, we aren't picky.”

Marianne couldn't have hidden her shocked expression even if she tried.

“Did you think we were some chaotic cult?" Vera asked, her mask hiding her sly smile.

“You're a beastmen.”

“And you're a knight of the God-Emperor, what of it?”

Marianne readied herself to argue about semantics, but her mind was blank.

“Not all renegades and mutants are chaos worshippers." Vera smiled. “And those of us who are can still be businessmen.”

“The door slid open, and in walked a space marine. His armor was black, with dark green pauldrons. On these pauldrons was the symbol of a white dragon head hastily painted over with a red X. In his massive hand was a black helmet with a single hole in the brow. This hole was for the single boney horn on the marine's pale white head. He walked past the two, past the desk, and into the large chair, perfectly fitted for him. "Vera, Vera's friend.”

“Marianne.”

“Hello Marianne. I am Zax, your middle man for the immediate future. Your mutant friend has told me only good things about you, but I do wonder how you two met?”

Marianne sighed. "It's... complicated.”

“We're sisters." Vera blurted out.

Zax laughed, his deep voice echoing throughout the small office. “Knight, despite your sister’s lackadaisical attitude, she is feral beast on the field of battle.”

Marianne did not respond, for she was well aware of Vera’s skills in combat.

“She told me you are worst.”

"I am an honorable knight." Marianne shot back, her voice filled with venom.

"Than why are you seeking work with pirates?”

“It’s… complicated.” She paused to think.

“Let me guess. An overzealous inquisitor decided you were a heretic with little to no evidence.”

"No." Marianne said under her breath, glancing towards her sister. "Let's just say that I'm not a traitor to the Imperium, officially.”

“Interesting." Zax grinned. "How about we make it official, and in a big way.”

“What do you have in mind.”

“I got three jobs for you. First, the Blood Pact is looking for knights to raid a forge world.”

Marianne turned to Vera. "You're on your own with that one." She said. "The Pact doesn't like me.”

“Ok, what else.”

“We got some drukari raiding a knight world for slaves, and you'll even get a cut of the slaves.”

“The dark eldar aren't a good choice for a newbie.”

Marianne sighed. "Last one.”

“The last job is actually from some other renegades. A system are asking for help in becoming independent from the Imperium. The Amaterasu System from what it says.”

“I don't know anything about the Amaterasu System actually." Vera quietly whispered.

"I do." Marianne said. "It's under the watch of the Dark Blades space marine chapter. I guess their going rogue.”

“Sounds fun, but what's the pay.”

Zax ruffled through his papers. "Those who assist in removing Imperial forces from the system will be recognized as citizens of of the Amaterasu System, and will have full permission to live and operate within the System, as well as full respirations for lost personnel, equipment, and resources.”

“We need a place to stay,” Vera said, “but it's your call Mari.”

“A good way to declare to the galaxy that we don't bow to the Imperium. We'll do that one.”

“Good, good. Do you have need transport to the system?” Zax asked.

“No need.” Marianne said, standing up and leaving.

“Thanks Zax.” Vera said, following her sister.

The warp jumped to the system took about three hours, and the two spent most of it in silence. Marianne and Vera sat in the cockpits of their respective knights.

“Soooo.” Vera hummed, her voice echoing across the knight's vox system. “Is your new electroscourge ready?”

Marianne looked down to her knight's left arm, or where one would be. The tall, black and red mechanical suit didn't have a left arm, instead of three metal tendrils. “I'd rather have my claw.”

“Sorry about that.” Vera said, raising her knight's blue and black arm, ending in a claw. "But, look on the bright side! Your knight is called Blazing Scourge, it has an electroscourge.”

“INCOMING MESSAGE.” Beeped, interrupting Vera.

“Play it.”

“Thank you for accepting our call for help.” A staticy voice played. “I am Cya, personal serf to Chapter Master Hiro.” The image on the feed was a hooded figure, the only visible part of her face was a pair of purple eyes that glowed in the dark.

“What's the situation?” Marianne demanded.

“During the formation of the Great Rift, the Amaterasu System was cut off from the Greater Imperium as well as Imperium Nihilus. Thankful, the system has been designed to be self-sufficient. However, due to our isolation, we did some actions that the eleclisarchy would declare heretical.”

“Like what?” Vera asked.

“Accepting aid from xenos and granting equal rights to abhumans.” Vera noticed that the serf's head was oddly shaped under the hood. Almost like she has horns.

“What are we dealing what?”

“A single fleet consisting of two battleships, five cruisers, and six squadrons of escorts. We can confirm that the fleet contains no astartes presence, but can confirm the presence of knights of House Raven as well as three Cadian regiments.”

“Feth.” Vera swore.

“And who are we fighting alongside of?”

“Local PDF and mechanicus forces, the Knights of House Ronin, the Dark Blades chapter, alongside numerous mercenary forces. We currently hold the gas giant Tsukuyomi, and the orbiting moons of Kage, a knight world, the forge world Fojishiti, agri world Kin no Machi, the hive world of Yami no Machi, the fortress monastery Yuro no Yosai. The coordinates your ship is going to is for the fortress world of Kichi. It is currently in imperial hands, but we are currently attack the world right now. Any aid will be appreciated.”

“Yes mam.”

“Got it boss.”

“Arigatō.” Cya bowed, before disappearing from the feed.

“Ready to fight the Imperium?” Vera asked with a nervous smile.

“Too late to turn back now.” Marianne answered, her voice shaky.

“WE ARE APPROACHING OUR DESTINATION.”

“We are going to die.” Vera laughed.

Marianne ignored her. “Let's do this.”

“ENTERING REAL SPACE.”

Marianne took a deep breath.

“APPROACHING PLANET.”

Marianne's vision began to fade in and out.

“PREPARE TO DROP.”

“My favorite part.” Vera laughed.

The floor beneath the feet of the two knights opened. The two knights, alongside a number of smaller armigers dropped from the ship. As they fell to the battlefield, the knights could see various forces charging a fort's wall.

Marianne's sight continued to fade. "Battle calls." She whispered.

A voice, not her own, but familiar, echoes through her mind. "Bring me blood, bring me skulls, bring me battle!”

When her sight returned, Marianne was standing in the center of a destroyed building. Her knight was soaked in viscera, and laying in front of her was the bodies of multiple guardsmen, each and every one of them decapitated.

“Great job Mari.” Vera said, patting her sister's knight on the back with her claw. "They're falling back.”

“Th-th-that's great to hear.” She mumbled.

“Welcome to the life of a merc. It doesn't get any better.” Vera said, half-jokingly.

Marianne could not reply. All she could do is whisper to herself. "I am a honorable knight. I am a honorable knight. I am a honorable knight. I am-”

“Hungry for battle! Bring me more!”

A small grin creeped onto her face. “Blood for the Blood God.” She said under her breath, her eyes narrowing on her sister.

Her trance was broken by incoming missile fire. Her knight's void shield block most of the damage, but the ringing in her ears did drown out the voices. “I won't betray my sister. Not for the Emperor, and certainly not to you.”

“I do not care for where the blood flows, just that it flows.”

“I will make it flow. Oh I will make it flow.” Marianne whispered as she barreled towards the retreating enemy, her face a mixture of rage and zen. “I need blood.”

[bahamutgames]

Eastward: Afterward Thoughts

Game: Eastward (September 16, 2021)

Console: PC (Via Xbox Game Pass)

Here I am once again. Crawling back here to give my thoughts on a game I played but having to share it in shame on a side tumblr no one follows instead of proudly in the open on a big ass twitter thread! How sad!

I was going to share my thoughts in a twitter thread, but after sharing my thoughts on Warioware: Get It Together, it seems like twitter has removed the way it keeps threads nice and tidy on the home page. Basically resulting in everyone having to see my thread about the game full force whether they like it or not. And I don’t want that because A) it’s annoying. And B) some games I talk about have huge spoilers. Like this game! So I figured until that little issue gets resolved I’ll just share my thoughts here... where no one visits... and no one follows... Just like the sad city of Potrock Isle, am I right fellow Eastward heads? (That’s what we call ourselves)

I suppose it’s for the best. As always, this is NOT a review! These are just my thoughts and feelings after finishing the game. If you’re interested in this game at all, please consider playing it! This should not be taken as a major critique of the game and will just be me spitballing my feelings.

SPOILER WARNING FOR EASTWARD AHEAD! I WILL BE TALKING ABOUT THE FINALE AND ENDING A LOT!!

Opening

So, I’ve had my eyes on Eastward for a while now. The only issue is that I knew it was going to be, for lack of a better term, a “Zelda Like”. Which is generally not a genre I like very much. But the art and sprites and general aesthetic of the game was SO amazing I absolutely could not keep away! And after an accident that lead to me buying gamepass for an extra month (it was an accident I swear) I figured I might as well go ahead and play Eastward. I did struggle a bit with the genre but I made it through and ultimately I had a pretty good time with it!

Stuff I liked

Where to begin? This game is AMAZINGLY CHARMING! Maybe one of the most charming games I’ve played in a while. It has, hands down, some of the most amazing sprite art I’ve ever seen in my life. This game looks SO good it’s nuts! Here’s some screenshots I took that look that hopefully can demonstrate even a little bit how good Eastward looks

The combination of 2D sprite art mixed with the more realistic lighting kinda makes my lizard brain go nuts. In short, the game looks REALLY FUCKING GOOD. Almost every little thing in this game is lovingly handmade by some of the most talented sprite artists I’ve ever seen. Animations are stunning, backgrounds are incredibly detailed and full of life. The visuals ROCK!

The music is also particularly really good and has a ton of fantastic songs that really stuck with me. It has a lot of nice fast paced music and a lot of slow and mysterious music. But it all really does feel like one OST, like all the songs really go together. It’s another aspect of the game that’s just amazing!

I also LOVE the story and characters! It has a lot of themes similar to Gurren Lagann. People live miserably underground. Someone has seen the surface but gets picked on cause they’re stuck underground. They reach the surface but shit’s fucked up there. But of course instead of Beastmen and Mechs. Eastward goes a bit more of a lowkey route with cities filled with people, beautiful nature, and an evil smoke spewing train controlled by a factory where they make humans... It’s a lot of crazy shit but I do love crazy shit like this in my stories. Figuring out the mystery behind Charon and the Human Factories and Sam was all really exciting and made for a really compelling story!

And of course the characters are what made the story so nice. Of course John and Sam are my absolutely favorites! They are SO cute! But even side characters like William and Daniel. Alva and Isabelle. They’re all super charming and everyone has a GREAT design. No one has a better design than John and Sam though.

The gameplay itself is also very good. Again I struggled a lot with it at some points. This is just not my speed. And I do think this would have been GOTY for all time if it was a turnbased RPG (I think a lot of games would be the best game ever made if they were turnbased JRPGs instead). But still I enjoyed it enough. Some combat was pretty fun, some of the bosses were very cool. And some of the puzzles were challenging but pretty fun to solve. I particularly liked cooking a lot of food with power+ properties and just crushing boss battles with all my strength!

And then the game itself is just filled to the brim with so much charming stuff. I love the weapons like the guns and bombs, I love the you use a frying pan instead of a sword. The save points are fridges you freeze your memories in. I love that you can cook, and gather ingredients and try to make new recipes and season them with different spices to get different buffs. I love the super unique and cool enemy designs. I love how charming and memorable and unique every single NPC in the game is. No repeating NPCs as far as I can remember. Everyone is unique. Some games have bonus card games or sports minigames. But Eastward has a full blown roguelike RPG in it! I didn’t beat it, but it’s there and it’s SUPER charming!

So, yeah! This game is REALLY good! Easily one of if not the best looking game I played last year. Amazing soundtrack, fantastic story and characters. It’s all really good! It’s clearly a game that a TON of work went into. I can tell tons of talented people poured their soul into this game. Down to the website where they have cute little clay figures of some characters! It’s made with love.

Stuff I didn’t like

However, just like any other game. Eastward isn’t perfect. I could go on about little things. I think some of the dungeons are really infuriating. Old Town in particular was a real headache for me. I think WAY too many of the enemies towards the end of the game charge you then run away so you can’t hit them, it’s so annoying and time consuming. I think the game can be a little too raunchy and edgy at times in ways that aren’t really fun? Sometimes it is. But not all the time. I think the game can be TOO detailed sometimes and it actually makes figuring out where to go a little difficult.

But no, I COULD go on about smaller stuff like that. But I think I mostly just want to talk about the finale and ending. While this game was great, and stays consistently quirky and charming until the very end. With amazingly high quality sprite art and music until the very last drop. But honestly, I think this game totally loses focus towards the end. Particularly, the moment you reach Ester City, Eastward almost completely lost me.

I saw others saying it was the Monkollywood Train. And while that section wasn’t that great. With a forced stealth section that goes on a little too long. And being a really random scene. I actually thought Monkollywood was fine and honestly, the weirdness of that area didn’t feel out of place from the rest of the game. I guess Ester City also isn’t out of place. But it certainly is where the game loses itself in my opinion.

So the whole story up to that point was about finding out what was going on with Charon and the Human Factories and the origin of Sam. And I like that a lot. And I liked that once you reach New Dam City, it’s about living life and running jobs through the city. I liked that a lot. It was different from the main goal but it still related to Charon right? But once you hit Ester City, man. It suddenly becomes all about the tower. And time travel. And time loops. And I honestly kind of forgot Charon and the Human Factories were still what was happening. The whole game suddenly becomes about Alva and Isabelle. Which is fine. But like, it’s about them for most of the finale. And they’re not even there for most of that finale!

And then suddenly we jump back to the human factory and charon out of nowhere! I do think the final dungeon being inside Charon was great. And it’s not that I think the whole Ester City stuff was bad necessarily. But it absolutely was BORING as hell and slowed my playthrough to a crawl. It feels like they suddenly through a bunch of plot elements in I was too stupid to understand. And sadly I feel like this kind of carries into the whole ending. It feels like NOTHING gets answered or explained.

That’s not entirely true. We do see what becomes of some characters. And I don’t think the game needs to answer everything to be good. I think it’s good to leave some mystery. But. What became of Charon? The human factories? What was Sam exactly??? Did we save the world? Is everyone dead? I assume not based on the ending but like... What happened? I don’t understand anything that happened! I feel like this is maybe my fault and Ester City was so boring that I struggled to pay real attention to the finale so I couldn’t understand it. I honestly feel like the ending would have been better if when John sees Sam again, Sam just drops the big lead she’s holding and the game just ends right there. Like you already didn’t show enough of the ending, you might as well show even less and make that shot give me some clue in to what happened to John and Sam afterward.

And just in general. I didn’t like the final boss. I thought it was upsetting how the whole finale of the game randomly became quickdraw minigames. I know they were prepping you for it the whole way through with minigames but I wanted the final boss to be a real fight! I cooked all this food with power+ seasonings! And I didn’t really get to use it!

Final Thoughts

It’s hard to explain. The whole game still feels fine. I still like it. I still think it’s incredibly charming. I still think it’s one of the nicest looking games ever, I still think it’s absolutely worth your time even if you don’t like this genre! But I can’t help but feel like the ending was massively rushed. Like it needed more time? Or that it needed more planning. If the ending just worked a little better with the rest of the game I think this would have been perfect. The game had small pacing issues the whole way through though, so maybe I should have seen it coming. But still! It’s sad!

Regardless, Eastward is an amazing game that clearly had a lot of love poured into it. So I don’t regret playing it. And I think I might honestly want to cosplay as John eventually. I still think John and Sam are amazing protagonists (I was waiting the WHOLE game for her to call him dad UGH... maybe that’s just me.) Eastward was absolutely worth my time and I’m glad I played it even with the underwhelming finale. I’ll certainly be interested in any follow ups they make for the game in the future. We’ll see.

===

Thank you for reading! It’s been a while since I’ve written up an afterthoughts on tumblr. But it’s looking like I’ll be doing this here for a while since I kinda can’t on twitter at the moment. It’s a little harder for me to keep my thoughts confined over here so it makes writing these posts more difficult. But I’ll do my best, because I love talking about video games!

As always you can follow me on twitter to keep up with me, my art, and my game playing habits! That’s it for now! Go out and play a game you wouldn’t normally try!

[realityhelixcreates]

By Talos, This Can't be Happening pt. 13: If You've Got the Aptitude

Swag gets put on the spot, and is a bit grumpy about it.

?~?~?~?~?

His name was Teekeeus, and he was an iguana in a dress. Okay, robe. He was also the Guildmaster for the Chorrol chapter, and Swag absolutely embarrassed both himself and Helix, right in front of him.

He'd just been right inside the door, and had greeted them enthusiastically immediately upon entry, and Swag hadn't been expecting that at all. It really wasn't fair. Helix was more surprised by his sudden startled curse and retreat than she was by the actual lizard man in front of her.

Yeah, Helix had mentioned 'beastmen' but he'd been envisioning like, humans dressed in furs, wearing animal skulls, that sort of thing. Not a goddamn Sleestak!

“Ehh, is your friend feeling all right, young lady?” Teekeeus asked, his voice a low, accented, gravelly rumble. “He seems faint.”

Swag straightened himself back up, supported by the doorjamb. Helix stared at him.

“Um, well, he's...he's from far to the north.”

“Markarth.” Swag muttered.

“I see. Yes, I understand.” Teekeeus growled. “No, we do not like the cold. You would not have seen many of us, if any. But grow accustomed quickly, young man. I have no patience for backwater attitudes.”

Swag glued his gaze to the floor. Helix coughed. Well. This was definitely not his most charming moment.

“Sorry.”

“It's my fault, I'm afraid.” Helix said, chagrined. “I should have elaborated.”

“Very well. You are welcome here anyway, as I said. Clearly, you are new here in town. Have you perhaps decided to join the guild? If you intend to spend time in Chorrol, it would be a good idea. Steady money, and people get to know you. And as your skills improve, you might earn recommendations to the Arcane University, if your ambition lies in that direction.”

“It does, actually.” Helix said. “But staying local for a little while sounds good too. Would you have me?”

“Certainly, if you have the aptitude.” Teekeeus said. “We do not turn away those who are willing to put in the effort.”

Helix held her hand in the air, and her little ball of light appeared in her palm.

“Ah good! You have some learning already. An excellent start. Well, acceptance to the guild is an honor as well as a responsibility. It is no small matter, but it appears you are ready. You are now an associate of the mages guild, and the full hall is available to you. Good luck!”

He clapped her on the shoulder with one clawed hand. The whole time Swag couldn't help but wonder how he was even speaking, with a face shaped like that. With all those teeth. Without any lips!

“Glad to be here!” she said, clearly not perturbed at all. But then, she spoke to dragons regularly, so what did he know? Not near damn enough, obviously. “You wouldn't happen to have alchemy equipment here would you?”

“But of course!” Teekeeus laughed, a rough, threatening sound that set Swags hair on end. “I had you pegged for an alchemist the moment you walked in.”

“Well, I do kind of wear it on my sleeve. Or rather, around my shoulders.” she joked, and they both laughed.

Man, she really could make friends with any goddamn thing, couldn't she?

“Edward, I'm going to be downstairs for a while.” she said, grabbing his attention. “I've got a lot to do.”

“I can occupy myself.” he said. She nodded, and headed into the cellar. How long was a while though?

“Not a mage, are you.” It was a statement rather than a question. An older man, sitting at a small table, flipping through a book, glanced up at him. He gestured at the chair across from him. Swag took a seat.

“Nope. Not really into all this magic stuff. Is it that obvious?”

“Not until you said so. But I figured if you're from deep enough in Skyrim to not know what an Argonian is, you probably don't have much experience with magic either.”

“More than you might expect.” Swag grumbled. He was sulking, and yeah it was petty of him, but damn this was getting annoying.

“With the Breton lass? Or...with the Breton lass?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you know, the fighters guild is just next door. You could spend some time there, if you are uncomfortable here.”

Swag shrugged. “Not really a fighters guild type guy either. I'm a...a tailor.”

“Oh yes? Let the locals know and you'll be knee deep in work in no time.”

“That so?” It would be time consuming, but it might be better than braving old ruins filled with the walking dead.

“Chorrol likes to style itself like the Imperial City in miniature. It's a fine place to live, but you do need money to do so. A clothier could make a fine living here.”

“I'll give it some thought. So, what else is there to do around here besides fighting and magic? And am I really allowed to be in here? The lady at the Bruma guild wouldn't let me in.”

“Bruma? Let's see, that would be...Jeanne Frasoric. Yes. Hm. Well, she has a rather exclusionary view of the guilds responsibilities. I feel her guild suffers for it.”

“So I've heard.”

“Well, you will find we take a different view of our responsibilities here in Chorrol. As long as you are willing to learn, or are with someone who is, and you don't cause trouble, we won't force you out. Alberic Litte, by the way.”

He held a hand out to clasp Swags wrist in greeting.

“Edward Nigma. Mostly pleased to be here.” “Heh. Clever wordplay there. Is that how you sign your name? In any case, there are also a few taverns, the smith, our general goods store, the bookstore...Oh.” he had noticed how Swag brightened up at that. “If you're literate, we do have a library upstairs. Are you interested in books?”

“You could say that.” he reached for a book from a nearby stack on the table, but Alberic grabbed his hand. “Not those! They won't do you any good, and besides, they're expensive and a bit dangerous for you. These are spellbooks. The library is upstairs, and the books do not leave it, you understand?”

“Absolutely. I can just go up there and read whatever?”

“Yes. We have several regular visitors who do just that, but again, no books leave the library. And if you see any with these sigils on them-” he gestured to the spellbooks on the table, each illustrated with a distinctive symbol. “Leave them be. They might damage you, if you were to try and read them.”

That felt a bit insulting. So maybe he had to play the part of someone who was unfamiliar with magic. That didn't mean he was incapable of understanding it! He was pretty sure he could learn a spell, if he wanted to...he just didn't want to. He didn't see the world in mystical ways, like Helix did. It was all waves and numbers, and magic just wasn't like that. It was something that lay beneath the numbers, a current beyond the waves. Wasn't it?

“Gotcha. Uh, if she asks for me, that's where I'll be.”

Now this was more like it! The second floor of the guild was full of tables, desks, reading nooks, and wall to wall bookshelves.

He settled himself down into a cozy stuffed chair, and got started.

There was so much to go through. Geography, speculative fiction, the entire sordid history of the empire, magical theory, epic poetry, religious philosophy, juicy biographies, disjointed occult scribblings. Swag read until the sun went down, until the magical lanterns began to hurt his eyes. He removed his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

“Hey.”

Helix looked about as worn out as he felt. He'd forgotten to go remind her to un-shrimp herself, which meant she'd probably been hunched over her work, not eating or drinking or moving for hours. She had a plate of finger foods, and a carafe of what turned out to be apple juice, which she placed on the little end table next to him, while he set his latest book aside. Then she climbed into his lap, and they wrapped their arms comfortably around each other.

“I'm sorry.” she murmured. “I really should have explained more about the kinds of people we might meet. I don't know why it didn't cross my mind. I guess I just thought Argonians were rare in the empire. When I was in Skyrim, I only met two. But obviously that was extremely wrong.”

He sighed wearily, wincing as his head throbbed.

“Just...is there anything else?”

“There's Khajiit. They're cat people. Like literally. And orcs. Big, green, tusks. And that's just alongside the humans and elves. They all live together. You know about the monsters, and there's all manner of undead, and of course even the people can be dangerous. There's bandits and rogue wizards, and necromancers. Also goblins and ogres, and the lesser daedra. They're kinda like demons, but not exactly. But close enough. There were giants up north, but I don't know if they live south of the Jeralls, and they weren't dangerous if you left them alone. And of course there's the bears, and wolves, and other wild animals.”

While she spoke, she withdrew a strip of cambium she'd pried from a fallen branch some time ago, and snipped off a small piece. Trusting her as always, he popped it into his mouth and began to chew. He gestured to his latest book.

“Different types of magic. Pretty wild stuff. There's mind control magic though, and I'm not so comfy with that. You don't...you don't do that, do you?”

“You mean charm spells and things? I don't have to. It can be useful, when some wolf is trying to bite you in the ass or something, but I don't have to.”

“What if it happens to one of us? Like, if someone gets in a lucky shot?”

“Ah well, most versions of a charm spell really only lead the person to a favorable attitude towards the caster. Like, you think they're your friend, or you calm down if they've gotten you aggressive. Some of the stronger iterations can open you up to suggestion however. If we run into someone powerful enough to do that, we're pretty much fucked though. But...if you think someone's done that to me, get the hell out of there. There are spells that can counter it, so I'll try to find one. Maybe Alberic has one. I'll see tomorrow.”

“Did you finish up your concoctions?” he asked. She shook her head.

“Still have a bit left. Filtering for some, and maceration for others. Everything is prepared though, and tomorrow I'll be able to get the bulk of it finished.”

“Man, magical chemistry sounds like a lot of work.”

“Worth it though. Portable spell effects for people who don't cast, or for when a mage is low on energy. And even if you can cast, sometimes the potions you make can have effects more powerful than your skill at casting the same spell. There are a few things that can work like that. Potions, enchanted items, spell scrolls. Gotta be careful with the scrolls though. They are actual spells, inscribed on the paper, not just effects, and if you try to use one that's too advanced, It can go really wrong.”

“Like, what kind of wrong?”

“Fizzle out and do nothing. Blow up in your hands. Have the opposite effect, or some random effect. It's unpredictable, but you definitely don't want it to happen.”

“Damn, why even do it then?”

“Again, it's an option for people who don't cast. Even you could cast a spell from a scroll.”

Swag rolled his eyes.

“What's this 'even you' shit, huh? Just because I have to pretend to be some kinda country yokel don't mean I actually am one. Not that that's actually bad or any...shit.”

Her eyes had scooted away from his face, fixed on the wall in an effort to not let him know she felt insulted, but he could tell.

“How's the head?” she asked in an even tone.

“It's better, actually.” He spit out the thoroughly shredded bit of bark and set it on the edge of their untouched plate.

“It's willow bark. Precursor to aspirin.”

Country yokel wisdom. He was being a fucking pill and it needed to stop. There was nothing sexy about petulance. He grabbed up a little slice of toasted bread, smeared with herb butter, and held it to her mouth.

“We should eat. And probably rest.”

She bit into the bread, a concession of peace. He'd find some way to make it up to her. He was just...weary. So incredibly tired. He hadn't walked this much in such a short time, well, ever. He hadn't been surrounded by so much hostility and danger for years. He'd forgotten how exhausting it was. And how nasty it made him.

“So did you get any scrolls for me?” he asked, and her eyes slid back to him for a moment before returning to the wall.

“Wouldn't have thought you'd want any. I'm not gonna foist any magic on you. I know you only tolerate it because you like the rest of me.”

No way. She didn't really think that did she? How long had she thought that? How long had he let her think that?

“No, wait. Wait wait.” he cupped her chin, turning her face to look him in the eye. “ Don't think like that. That's not true. No, it's not.” he said to her narrowed, skeptical gaze. “I really don't like motherfucking grayface wizards who treat us like entertainment, and inflict extra suffering for their primetime amusement. I hate magic that's used to hurt me and the people I care about. But that ain't you. That's never been you. You're magic the way it should be. Beautiful and wonderful, and mysterious. And yeah, kinda scary sometimes, but like, I could say the same thing about a tiger or a gun. Don't mean I hate either of those things. I don't have any secret dislike for you, and I sure as hell do more'n 'tolerate'. So don't you go thinking thoughts like that. That's just little brainworms tryin'a lie to you.”

“We...really should eat.” she said, abashment growing roses in her cheeks.

“Yeah.”

They shared the little tidbits between them, and while she wasn't wearing that nice, easily removed wrap dress, she was still warm on his thighs, plump as a peach against his lean lines, and softly scented by the herbs she'd been handling.

The guild actually provided beds for their associates, and they both gratefully piled into the sizeable double in the cellar, not far from Helix's spagyric efforts. There they collapsed, too fatigued for anything else.

?~?~?~?~?

[peeporoons-notes]

back —— next [power] [glory] [fortune] [...]

MSQ 0.1 [Tutorial, Ul'dah]

Grizzled Passenger "Y'all right, [lad/lass]? You were moanin' somethin' fierce for a while there. Feelin' the effects of the aether, I reckon. You'll get used to it, though, don't worry."

* Your cart trundles across the arid shrubland. The midday heat seeps insistently through the canvas stretching over your heads, but you can be grateful you're not in the sun with the chocobos. * You both turn as you hear more sets of chocobo footfalls, far outpacing the birds drawing your cart. As their riders catch up and flank you, a third rider blocks your path from the front. He shouts at the driver.

Brass Blade Captain "You there—halt!"

Carriage Driver "What's all this about!?"

* The man raises his scimitar at the driver.

Brass Blade Captain "Inspection! Men, search the carriage!"

* Your carriage stops, and the Brass Blades come around the back. The Grizzled Passenger just smiles calmly.

Grizzled Passenger "I'm just an honest peddler, friend. So, er...don't be too disappointed if you don't find nothin' eh?"

Brass Blade "Mind your tongue, old man, lest I cut it out!"

* The man produces a small drawstring bag from behind his back, not bothering to pretend to plant it. Actually, he doesn't even open it to look inside.

Brass Blade "Sir, look! Somnus!"

Brass Blade Captain "Honest peddler, was it? Since when do honest peddlers deal in prohibited herbs? You're in a lot of trouble, old man." He smirks. "You'll rot in a dungeon till the end of your days...unless you can afford the fine."

* The passenger shakes his head disappointedly, sharing a look with you.

Grizzled Passenger "Heh, business as usual..."

* An arrow flies through the window and lands hard in the floor, kicking up some of the fine layer of sandy dust that coats everything here.

Grizzled Passenger "Uwaaah!"

Brass Blade Captain "Amalj'aa! Amalj'aa! To arms! To arms!"

* The lizard-men approach, the one with the bow already nocking another arrow.

Brass Blade Captain "Seven hells... Consider this a warning! Now go—all of you!"

* The Brass Blades skirmish with the Amalj'aa in the wake of your cart.

Grizzled Passenger "Phew... That kind of excitement ain't good for the heart. You be careful 'round them Brass Blades, lad. Bastards'll have the shirt off your back if they fancy it. Like common bandits, they are, only less honest.

Thank the gods for sendin' some beastmen to the rescue, eh!? Hey, seein' as we've still got a long ride ahead, you mind keepin' me company till we arrive?

Them young'uns don't care much for conversation, see."

* He gestures over to the two other passengers who have been here the whole time. They're completely silent, and the one on the right maybe even sleeping. Sometimes heat like this makes you sleepy too.

Brendt (Grizzled Passenger) "Brendt's the name, an' peddlin's me trade. An' judgin' by your unusual garments, I'll wager you're one of them new adventurers."

* You nod.

Brendt "I knew it! Goin' wherever the wind blows, seekin' fortune an' glory—now that's what I call livin'!

So long as you can avoid dyin', I mean. Ain't no secret that adventurin's a risky business—these days especially. What was it that first attracted you to it?"

Why did you become an adventurer? 1. To gain power. 2. To win glory. 3. To amass a fortune. 4. ...

[therealityhelix]

By Talos, This Can’t be Happening pt 13

It’s Tamriel Tuesday! Swag hs to deal with more culture shock.

Next Shard coming next week

Rated PG13 for: Blood, violence, sexual situations, bad puns, and other poor life choices.

@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions

                                                                             ?~?~?~?~?

His name was Teekeeus, and he was an iguana in a dress. Okay, robe. He was also the Guildmaster for the Chorrol chapter, and Swag absolutely embarrassed both himself and Helix, right in front of him.

He'd just been right inside the door, and had greeted them enthusiastically immediately upon entry, and Swag hadn't been expecting that at all. It really wasn't fair. Helix was more surprised by his sudden startled curse and retreat than she was by the actual lizard man in front of her.

Yeah, Helix had mentioned 'beastmen' but he'd been envisioning like, humans dressed in furs, wearing animal skulls, that sort of thing. Not a goddamn Sleestak!

“Ehh, is your friend feeling all right, young lady?” Teekeeus asked, his voice a low, accented, gravelly rumble. “He seems faint.”

Swag straightened himself back up, supported by the doorjamb. Helix stared at him.

“Um, well, he's...he's from far to the north.”

“Markarth.” Swag muttered.

“I see. Yes, I understand.” Teekeeus growled. “No, we do not like the cold. You would not have seen many of us, if any. But grow accustomed quickly, young man. I have no patience for backwater attitudes.”

Swag glued his gaze to the floor. Helix coughed. Well. This was definitely not his most charming moment.

“Sorry.”

“It's my fault, I'm afraid.” Helix said, chagrined. “I should have elaborated.”

“Very well. You are welcome here anyway, as I said. Clearly, you are new here in town. Have you perhaps decided to join the guild? If you intend to spend time in Chorrol, it would be a good idea. Steady money, and people get to know you. And as your skills improve, you might earn recommendations to the Arcane University, if your ambition lies in that direction.”

“It does, actually.” Helix said. “But staying local for a little while sounds good too. Would you have me?”

“Certainly, if you have the aptitude.” Teekeeus said. “We do not turn away those who are willing to put in the effort.”

Helix held her hand in the air, and her little ball of light appeared in her palm.

“Ah good! You have some learning already. An excellent start. Well, acceptance to the guild is an honor as well as a responsibility. It is no small matter, but it appears you are ready. You are now an associate of the mages guild, and the full hall is available to you. Good luck!”

He clapped her on the shoulder with one clawed hand. The whole time Swag couldn't help but wonder how he was even speaking, with a face shaped like that. With all those teeth. Without any lips!

“Glad to be here!” she said, clearly not perturbed at all. But then, she spoke to dragons regularly, so what did he know? Not near damn enough, obviously. “You wouldn't happen to have alchemy equipment here would you?”

“But of course!” Teekeeus laughed, a rough, threatening sound that set Swags hair on end. “I had you pegged for an alchemist the moment you walked in.”

“Well, I do kind of wear it on my sleeve. Or rather, around my shoulders.” she joked, and they both laughed.

Man, she really could make friends with any goddamn thing, couldn't she?

“Edward, I'm going to be downstairs for a while.” she said, grabbing his attention. “I've got a lot to do.”

“I can occupy myself.” he said. She nodded, and headed into the cellar. How long was a while though?

“Not a mage, are you.” It was a statement rather than a question. An older man, sitting at a small table, flipping through a book, glanced up at him. He gestured at the chair across from him. Swag took a seat.

“Nope. Not really into all this magic stuff. Is it that obvious?”

“Not until you said so. But I figured if you're from deep enough in Skyrim to not know what an Argonian is, you probably don't have much experience with magic either.”

“More than you might expect.” Swag grumbled. He was sulking, and yeah it was petty of him, but damn this was getting annoying.

“With the Breton lass? Or...with the Breton lass?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you know, the fighters guild is just next door. You could spend some time there, if you are uncomfortable here.”

Swag shrugged. “Not really a fighters guild type guy either. I'm a...a tailor.”

“Oh yes? Let the locals know and you'll be knee deep in work in no time.”

“That so?” It would be time consuming, but it might be better than braving old ruins filled with the walking dead.

“Chorrol likes to style itself like the Imperial City in miniature. It's a fine place to live, but you do need money to do so. A clothier could make a fine living here.”

“I'll give it some thought. So, what else is there to do around here besides fighting and magic? And am I really allowed to be in here? The lady at the Bruma guild wouldn't let me in.”

“Bruma? Let's see, that would be...Jeanne Frasoric. Yes. Hm. Well, she has a rather exclusionary view of the guilds responsibilities. I feel her guild suffers for it.”

“So I've heard.”

“Well, you will find we take a different view of our responsibilities here in Chorrol. As long as you are willing to learn, or are with someone who is, and you don't cause trouble, we won't force you out. Alberic Litte, by the way.”

He held a hand out to clasp Swags wrist in greeting.

“Edward Nigma. Mostly pleased to be here.” “Heh. Clever wordplay there. Is that how you sign your name? In any case, there are also a few taverns, the smith, our general goods store, the bookstore...Oh.” he had noticed how Swag brightened up at that. “If you're literate, we do have a library upstairs. Are you interested in books?”

“You could say that.” he reached for a book from a nearby stack on the table, but Alberic grabbed his hand. “Not those! They won't do you any good, and besides, they're expensive and a bit dangerous for you. These are spellbooks. The library is upstairs, and the books do not leave it, you understand?”

“Absolutely. I can just go up there and read whatever?”

“Yes. We have several regular visitors who do just that, but again, no books leave the library. And if you see any with these sigils on them-” he gestured to the spellbooks on the table, each illustrated with a distinctive symbol. “Leave them be. They might damage you, if you were to try and read them.”

That felt a bit insulting. So maybe he had to play the part of someone who was unfamiliar with magic. That didn't mean he was incapable of understanding it! He was pretty sure he could learn a spell, if he wanted to...he just didn't want to. He didn't see the world in mystical ways, like Helix did. It was all waves and numbers, and magic just wasn't like that. It was something that lay beneath the numbers, a current beyond the waves. Wasn't it?

“Gotcha. Uh, if she asks for me, that's where I'll be.”

Now this was more like it! The second floor of the guild was full of tables, desks, reading nooks, and wall to wall bookshelves.

He settled himself down into a cozy stuffed chair, and got started.

There was so much to go through. Geography, speculative fiction, the entire sordid history of the empire, magical theory, epic poetry, religious philosophy, juicy biographies, disjointed occult scribblings. Swag read until the sun went down, until the magical lanterns began to hurt his eyes. He removed his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

“Hey.”

Helix looked about as worn out as he felt. He'd forgotten to go remind her to un-shrimp herself, which meant she'd probably been hunched over her work, not eating or drinking or moving for hours. She had a plate of finger foods, and a carafe of what turned out to be apple juice, which she placed on the little end table next to him, while he set his latest book aside. Then she climbed into his lap, and they wrapped their arms comfortably around each other.

“I'm sorry.” she murmured. “I really should have explained more about the kinds of people we might meet. I don't know why it didn't cross my mind. I guess I just thought Argonians were rare in the empire. When I was in Skyrim, I only met two. But obviously that was extremely wrong.”

He sighed wearily, wincing as his head throbbed.

“Just...is there anything else?”

“There's Khajiit. They're cat people. Like literally. And orcs. Big, green, tusks. And that's just alongside the humans and elves. They all live together. You know about the monsters, and there's all manner of undead, and of course even the people can be dangerous. There's bandits and rogue wizards, and necromancers. Also goblins and ogres, and the lesser daedra. They're kinda like demons, but not exactly. But close enough. There were giants up north, but I don't know if they live south of the Jeralls, and they weren't dangerous if you left them alone. And of course there's the bears, and wolves, and other wild animals.”

While she spoke, she withdrew a strip of cambium she'd pried from a fallen branch some time ago, and snipped off a small piece. Trusting her as always, he popped it into his mouth and began to chew. He gestured to his latest book.

“Different types of magic. Pretty wild stuff. There's mind control magic though, and I'm not so comfy with that. You don't...you don't do that, do you?”

“You mean charm spells and things? I don't have to. It can be useful, when some wolf is trying to bite you in the ass or something, but I don't have to.”

“What if it happens to one of us? Like, if someone gets in a lucky shot?”

“Ah well, most versions of a charm spell really only lead the person to a favorable attitude towards the caster. Like, you think they're your friend, or you calm down if they've gotten you aggressive. Some of the stronger iterations can open you up to suggestion however. If we run into someone powerful enough to do that, we're pretty much fucked though. But...if you think someone's done that to me, get the hell out of there. There are spells that can counter it, so I'll try to find one. Maybe Alberic has one. I'll see tomorrow.”

“Did you finish up your concoctions?” he asked. She shook her head.

“Still have a bit left. Filtering for some, and maceration for others. Everything is prepared though, and tomorrow I'll be able to get the bulk of it finished.”

“Man, magical chemistry sounds like a lot of work.”

“Worth it though. Portable spell effects for people who don't cast, or for when a mage is low on energy. And even if you can cast, sometimes the potions you make can have effects more powerful than your skill at casting the same spell. There are a few things that can work like that. Potions, enchanted items, spell scrolls. Gotta be careful with the scrolls though. They are actual spells, inscribed on the paper, not just effects, and if you try to use one that's too advanced, It can go really wrong.”

“Like, what kind of wrong?”

“Fizzle out and do nothing. Blow up in your hands. Have the opposite effect, or some random effect. It's unpredictable, but you definitely don't want it to happen.”

“Damn, why even do it then?”

“Again, it's an option for people who don't cast. Even you could cast a spell from a scroll.”

Swag rolled his eyes.

“What's this 'even you' shit, huh? Just because I have to pretend to be some kinda country yokel don't mean I actually am one. Not that that's actually bad or any...shit.”

Her eyes had scooted away from his face, fixed on the wall in an effort to not let him know she felt insulted, but he could tell.

“How's the head?” she asked in an even tone.

“It's better, actually.” He spit out the thoroughly shredded bit of bark and set it on the edge of their untouched plate.

“It's willow bark. Precursor to aspirin.”

Country yokel wisdom. He was being a fucking pill and it needed to stop. There was nothing sexy about petulance. He grabbed up a little slice of toasted bread, smeared with herb butter, and held it to her mouth.

“We should eat. And probably rest.”

She bit into the bread, a concession of peace. He'd find some way to make it up to her. He was just...weary. So incredibly tired. He hadn't walked this much in such a short time, well, ever. He hadn't been surrounded by so much hostility and danger for years. He'd forgotten how exhausting it was. And how nasty it made him.

“So did you get any scrolls for me?” he asked, and her eyes slid back to him for a moment before returning to the wall.

“Wouldn't have thought you'd want any. I'm not gonna foist any magic on you. I know you only tolerate it because you like the rest of me.”

No way. She didn't really think that did she? How long had she thought that? How long had he let her think that?

“No, wait. Wait wait.” he cupped her chin, turning her face to look him in the eye. “ Don't think like that. That's not true. No, it's not.” he said to her narrowed, skeptical gaze. “I really don't like motherfucking grayface wizards who treat us like entertainment, and inflict extra suffering for their primetime amusement. I hate magic that's used to hurt me and the people I care about. But that ain't you. That's never been you. You're magic the way it should be. Beautiful and wonderful, and mysterious. And yeah, kinda scary sometimes, but like, I could say the same thing about a tiger or a gun. Don't mean I hate either of those things. I don't have any secret dislike for you, and I sure as hell do more'n 'tolerate'. So don't you go thinking thoughts like that. That's just little brainworms tryin'a lie to you.”

“We...really should eat.” she said, abashment growing roses in her cheeks.

“Yeah.”

They shared the little tidbits between them, and while she wasn't wearing that nice, easily removed wrap dress, she was still warm on his thighs, plump as a peach against his lean lines, and softly scented by the herbs she'd been handling.

The guild actually provided beds for their associates, and they both gratefully piled into the sizeable double in the cellar, not far from Helix's spagyric efforts. There they collapsed, too fatigued for anything else.

                                                   ?~?~?~?~?

[writingfool001]

Question but what does newt!mc mean? Is the mc a lizard beastmen or—?

@lovabledork13

Newt!MC means that I am basing the reader or MC, main character, off of Newt Scammander from the fantastic beast series. The MC won't be entirely like him, just somewhat.

[girlballs]

oh my god i just had a realization. there's only like three areas in elden ring with unique enemies?

the man-serpents in Volcano Manor (shoutout to Bighead Lizard Wizard), the Albinauric Archers in the Consecrated Snowfield, and. actually wait that's it, isn't it? even the farum azula beastmen are reused as damage sponge bosses elsewhere