#and like idk even if you've never fallen in *love* with a fandom friend i think you can still hardcore relate to this?

[katierosefun]

so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 

- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 

- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 

- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 

- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 

- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.

- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 

- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 

- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 

- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please

- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--

- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?

- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 

- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))

- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 

- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...

- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 

- much gay disaster

- so much gay disaster

- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 

- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 

- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 

“don’t waste your time.” 

“what?” 

“don’t waste your time on me.” 

and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here

- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 

“1. no response. which is terrible. 

2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((

3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 

- well, of course ella responds with #3. 

- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 

- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 

- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 

- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 

- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)

- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 

- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 

- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 

- oh kate :(((( 

- kate :((((((

- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((

- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 

- meets ella. 

- very cute. 

- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 

- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 

- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 

- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 

- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 

- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 

- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 

- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 

- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 

- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 

- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 

- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 

- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 

- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 

- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 

- i love this podcast a lot

- it was very sweet

- and very cute

- very wlw 

- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 

- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people

- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 

- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)

[justalittlebluetiefling]

idk if you've answered this already when exactly do you think fjord started to realize his feelings for jester were...more than friendly? 👀

Oof anon, this is a toughy. I think I have? But it’s been a while. My answer changes almost every time, I swear. I think this is consistent with my previous feelings on it, though.

So... I actually have full plans to go back and rewatch just the pirate arc. I think episodes 33 - 48ish. And do a full Fjorester dissertation on those with like, screenshots and stuff, because so much changed between those two during that time.

Okay I’m just rambling before actually answering your question lol. This is kind of a long answer anon I’m sort of sorry? I had feelings.

TLDR: He realized that he was in love with her around Episode 72. But the problem is that this is way more layered than that, because his feelings for her have been evolving into something more for the entire campaign.

When do I think Fjord started to realize? The reason I have a hard time answering this is because there were just so many steps. And I’m about to say something that maybe isn’t entirely fair to Fjord and maybe doesn’t give him enough credit, but it sort of ties into the rest of this. I think that for the first few months of traveling with Jester, Fjord kind of had the same ideas about her that a lot of fandom does/did. That she’s silly and happy all the time and nothing affects her. BUT. He had these ideas about her in a much more charitable way. Like... he admired those things about her and they were the parts of her personality that she puts at the forefront, so I honestly don’t blame him for not digging a little deeper.

Now that that has been said, his feelings for her have been constantly changing. 

Travis knows Fjord best obviously, and he says that the Jellyfish talk really affected Fjord, but if we’re going to go there, episode 30 was when someone first pointed out to him that Jester might be putting on an act. Overcompensating with happiness to try to cheer everyone else up. And then he got to see that up close and personal in episode 36 during the Jellyfish talk when she’s truly vulnerable and honest with someone about the way she’s hurting. 

So, it starts there. Not his crush. Not really. But his realization that Jester needs someone to be there for her the way she’s there for everyone else.

But it also sort of starts to put all of her actions into a different light for him, because with everything that she does from there on out, you can sort of see him analyzing it. Is she just putting up a front or is she actually happy?

Not to mention, Jester is just there for him through all of this stuff. No matter what terrifying thing he wants to do next, she’s backing him up. 

And then we reach EPISODE 47. Why did I capslock this? Because I love this episode for them. He hears her praying to the Traveler for his protection. Like. Okay. I’m gonna go off on a tangent for a second, I’m sorry.

I’m thinking about the last episode of Talks about how Travis said that Vandran was Fjord’s first experience of someone truly caring about him, even if it was tough love or kind of shitty. And just the contrast of the way Vandran showed him love and the way Jester shows him love. It’s just someone putting his well-being first, physical and emotional, and wanting him to be safe and happy and to love himself. 

Anyway I’m gonna get emotional. Back to episode 47 when they just have the softest moment in this entire campaign. This is when he realizes that yeah, she’s silly and she’s so flirtatious, but she really, truly cares for him in a way that no one else ever has. And he’s just so touched by this moment. I think it’s the first time he realizes that maybe her feelings for him are deeper than he thinks.

Because even in this moment, I think he’s still so in his head about his past that he can’t really let himself wonder if his feelings for her are deeper than he’s realized.

Still, he’s always shown awareness of Jester’s location, but after the pirate arc, especially episode 45, he starts to be hyperaware of where she is and what she’s doing, especially in battle. Going into overdrive a bit being protective. Which is who he is. Protective over all of his friends. But especially Jester and she reciprocates in kind. 

And he’s always been kind of flirtatious with her, but he really sort of doubles down on it around now. “I am disarming you.” and then I think about the way he smiles when he asks where she is when they’re in Maruo’s shop and she says she’s fallen on top of Caleb and he just grins and says “Hey, Jessie.” And every time things start to get serious between them, they also get sort of awkward. And this is also oddly enough the time she starts to back off with the flirtatious behavior. 

Let’s see, I’m getting off track. What’s the biggest realization in this chain of things. Kravaraad. That conversation. This is the big one. Episode 72. Okay, not sure if you’ve noticed a trend, but a lot of this stuff happens when Fjord is figuring out who he is.... I’m not saying it’s because... you know... Jester’s treated him the most consistently out of anyone in his life and he values her opinion and her support pretty much more than anyone, except. I mean. I am saying exactly that.

But yes. Episode 72. They talk about how sometimes they want to run away. He has all this stuff that’s been building up and it all spills out. HE TELLS HER HE THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING WHEN HE LOST HIS POWERS THE FIRST TIME. He admits that he wouldn’t do anything to get his powers back. He realizes that maybe he’s prioritizing finding Vandran more than Vandran is prioritizing finding him. 

And Jester wishes she could help more. “Oh, you have been. I’ve known you the longest in this. Sometimes it’s just hard figuring out who you should be instead of who you want to be.” He asks for her opinion on the Wildmother. She promises that their new mission, hers and his, is to do anything to get him away from Uk’otoa. 

Forgive me I just want to YELL over this whole conversation.

Like... he talks to Jester and immediately after this conversation, he’s like, “Fuck you, Uk’otoa” and throws his sword into the lava, losing his powers. He starts talking in his real voice. Jester gives him the strength to try to find the balance between who he should be and who he wants to be.

This is like one of the least subtle things I’ve ever seen in my life. 

And it makes me think of that line in 108: “You know when someone makes you feel a way that you don't think you have any right to feel or you never thought that you might?”

And it’s like everything is changing for him in this moment. This is where he’s officially conscious that his feelings for Jester are more. They’re something big.  

It snowballs from here.

He does little cute things, like making it snow for her and telling her.. she has... an attractive head? Like, Fjord, come on. You have a 20 Charisma and talking to your little blue tiefling friend turns you into a puddle of goo who can’t seem to form an actual sentence. He does big things, like makings sure they take the time to go see the Gentleman. Reassuring her about her power every time she has doubts. LAUNCHING HIMSELF INTO THE AIR OVER AN ACTIVE VOLCANO. You know. Stuff like that.

Well, I hope this answers your question. I just... got carried away. Like I always do. I’m sorry! 

[r95irth]

Awww thank you for tagging me! I'm not sure i gethow this game works, and i don't know any of the one you mentionned...U-u° Sorry !

So here are the people i'm tagging :

@nashapixie @baellaflo @corporalqueen @thefrogwitch @hudginy @kitsune-ryu-neko @vixenofthemist @bunkitz @kitanoko @suguelya

And here are the characters ! There's absolutely no book, or serie in this list i'm a bit ashamed xD (ptomise i read and see serie too, i'm just not as enthusiastic about it) I went into fandoms thanks to manga and it's just how it is.

Yellow, from Pokemon special adventures. Pokemon special is the first manga i ever read and i fell in love with Yellow and the twist about her got me "OO" when i was 8.

Charles, in Cinderella monotagari. Don't judge me. It's super cliche and cheesy serie but i was 8 and Cinderella was almost a badass in it and she met Charles (the prince) before the ball and fell in love with him. And they almost drown in a well together and this scene had been haunting me ever since. If you've read any of my fanfic you know some of my character almost drown...A lot. Well this serie is to blame. Though i was too young to ever join the fandom of this one...

Riza Hawkeye, from Fullmetal alchemist. I've fallen in love with Royai, but more importantly with this badass of woman. FMA is one of my favourite manga and i love so many of its female characters in it, but this one, oh this one definitely marked. Lately i've been wondering if i like Royai and Riza so much because they remind me of my parenst but i'm not sure i truly wants the answer to that question xD

Fullmetal alchemist is the first fandom i finished a fanfic for (the first fandom i published a fanfic for was Hunter x Hunter, but i'm not speaking about it. Before i wrote Powerpuff girl fanfic and Adibou isekai fanfics for myself xD BUT I WAS 6 OKAY)

Leo, from Pandora Hearts. Or you could call it Pandora HURTS, i mean this manga is wonderful the twist about my character and his *cough* best friend Elliot is amazing and i have yet to recover from it. (I will never recover from it) NEver wrote anything for this fandom or read much on it because every time i try i cry. That's how much Jun Mochizuki destroyed me. I can't even read fanfic fix-it about them BECAUSE THE TWIST IS SO PERFECT WHY WOULD I WANT TO FIX IT (but my fav got his heart broken and second fav got killed so yeah i need fix it TT)

Akira, from Hikaru no Go. Listen, this boy is Haku from Chihiro but like, gay and developped and with a rilvalry ship and i love him. He is so beautiful in the manga, and his relationship with sai and Hikaru is URGH top noch. My baby. And also Hikaru's answer at the end of the manga is my favourite "YEah i promised i would tell you one day, but like IN THE FUTURE" Never wrote a fanfic with them but i read a lot HikaruAkira fic xD

Momo Yaoyorozu - Shouto Todoroki, in Boku no Hero academia. I can't separate them, i love them equally. I've fallen in love with Momo during her arc when her confidence got shattered, and then built back together by Aizawa (favourite too) and Shouto Todoroki. And then Todoroki and his family, and the way Horikoshi handled redemption and trauma in his manga with this...I *sob* Now well, people following my blog know i wrote fanfics about them >>

Wen Qing, from MDZS I went into this fandom through Untamed, becaue one of my best friend was watching it and told me it was good. I fell in love with every character, but Wen Qing in particular. But i dint' get the magic system so i stopped watching the drama to read the novel instead hoping to get it better (i didn't- but then i fell in love Meng Yao in the novel xD). I was CONVINCED she was alive right until the end, that she somehow got saved by JGY and helped XY develop the corpse powder. Idk why. But i was CONVINCED. Then the end happened and she didn't, (and in the novel there's no JC/WQ that i loved in the drama) so i cried and went to read fix it fanfic where she had her happy ending. Then i read fanfics where LXC got his happy ending with his A-Yao too. (I love wangxian don't get me wrong but they do have their happy endings now it's time to focus on the others !!)

Yin Yu and Ling Wen, from Heaven official blessings. Okay from MDZS, i jumped into the other novels from the same author, helped by a friend at the time who is a fan. I did not expect to love these two so much. As usual i love the main couple and all, but these two i was like "FAVS" and the friend who watched me read the book was like :T It was not a fun time when i reached book 5.

That's 10 characters, but not 10 fandoms, so here 2 characters with a new fandom to make up for it.

Zelgadis, from Slayers. Slayers is like Dungeon and Dragon that went horibly wrong. Zelgadis is the only sane character who is definitely trying to fullfill his qquest while all his compagnons are having a blast (and blasting everything aroudn them). I love him. I hope he never knows peace :)

Then it's hard to choose, because i have lot of fandom i loved (Naruto, with Hinata being my fav), (Whistle! with the hero being my fav), (Radiant but i have no fav in it..?) (all the tales of serie??) but i'm very not much into that anymore...So i will go and give my lastest fav from a show i watched a week ago...

Hooty, from the owl house. I'm sorry this demon is wild and traumatizing and stupid and he terrifies people but he also loves them fiercely. LET HIM HAVE FRIENDS. LET HIM GUARD HIS HOME.

@xcziel tagged me for the 10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags post a bit back and I'm finally getting to it after a long weekend at DCI. Go Phantom Raiders! WOOOT!

Putting my tags up front because I had to put a cut in: @clockworkspider, @ohyka, @nightxshade, @hamliet, @toastinette, @mercyandmagic, @r95irth, @foxofninetales, @hawberries, @foxghost

*ahem* Anyway.... (This gets long because I ramble)

The Rover, Duel of the Iron Fist, played by David Chiang: This was the character and actor who dragged me into martial arts movie fandom. Seriously old school for you young whippersnappers but dang he proved I have a type.

Jareth, Labyrinth, played by David Bowie: I was a fan of Bowie's from the first moment I saw him in "Man who Fell to Earth". Yet again, my type.

Zorro, Mark of Zorro, played by Frank Langella: The made-for-TV movie had its flaws but Frank Langella played one of my favorite character types (crouching moron, hidden badass) beautifully. One of the few left-handed Zorros out there, btw.

Vampire Hunter D, eponymous title, voiced by Kaneto Shiozawa: The art for the original movie is dated but the voice acting was gorgeous. Kaneto Shiozawa (RIP) was one of my absolute favorite voice actors.

Homunculus, Shadow of Destiny, voiced by Charles Martinet: The genie, demon, Gods know what, manipulator behind the scenes of the game. The story never did have a satisfactory ending for me, mostly because this character's entire existence was intended to 'fix' what went wrong in a family's timeline, with little consideration for what his existence meant. Oh, and btw, his voice actor was Mario's voice actor, which just proves the man has range and talent.

Janus, Chrono Trigger (maybe Cross as well, sort of?), no voice actor that I know of: The sorcerer who helps the yokai types invade Chrono's homeland. He has reasons, though, and you can get him on your team later on. Tall, skinny, has albinism(?) and might just be the son of Lavos. Should have shown up officially in Chrono Cross or been given a role in the never produced Chrono Break.

Janus Cascade, Wild Arms 3, no voice actor in the English language version: The primary enemy of the first arc of the game, he mostly is in it to stay alive despite his bosses' worst efforts. He shows signs of liking Virginia, though that never went anywhere, drat it.

Yu Hua, Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life, novel: One of the main characters in the story, he's a former transmigrator who'd 'won' the game and taken being able to live happily and comfortably on a world where there aren't supposed to be other transmigrators. Except, of course, things start going wrong when his old 'employer' (enslaver?) starts sending more transmigrators to his world to cause trouble.

Xue Xian, Copper Coins, novel: A dragon crippled by an attack by some strange force, Xue Xian makes contact with a monk called Xuan Min and becomes embroiled in case after case of misused and abused power, all of which leads up to revealing their connection and the secret behind Xue Xian's crippling.

Jame Priest's Bane of the Knorth, Kencyrath series, novels: A member of a race called the Kencyr, Jame starts off as a lost wanderer who falls into trouble (often literally) everywhere she goes. As the series progresses we learn she's the twin sister of her people's High Lord, the daughter of a traitor who reaped souls and lost her own, and possibly one of the three aspects of her peoples' tri-part God. (Destruction, naturally) While she wants to do right and less harm, her nature means that those who act for the sake of their own wealth and power often fall into disaster in their attempt to block her.