#and like I said I’m perfectly comfortable dunking on shitty and homophobic relatives

[therealvalkyrie]

tw: homophobia, mentions of suicide (very brief)

just had to listen to my homophobic mom give me, a 23 year old, whose dated guys and girls a lecture on why it's not possible for me to like girls and identify as lesbian. some of her main points btw: "going through a phase" "most lesbians i knew were needy" "all the lesbians i've known liked a guy at one point so they can't really like girls" "i read a book that said it's not scientificly possible" "are you trying to do this too be cool?" she does realize people get harrassed, discriminated, and bullied over not being straight right? she does understand that thousands of teens have been disowned, kicked out of their homes, and committed suicide over the fear of coming out right? over people like her. i've been crying for like 10 minutes i'm so upset rn.

hey love! i’m so sorry your mom is being awful and making you feel unsafe. first of all, I want to tell you unequivocally that you don’t deserve that, especially from someone who’s supposed to love and support you no matter what.

secondly, I want to tell you something that you probably already know, but might help to hear from someone other than yourself: however you identify and whoever you date has no effect whatsoever on your inherent worth and dignity as a human person. I’m saying this as the bisexual daughter of two queer women, and I’m saying with my entire being and every ounce of truth in my body.

You are valid, your feelings are valid, your love is valid, and however you choose to identity is valid. That will always, always be true.

I don’t know the whole situation with your mom (and believe me, I know relationships with one’s mother can be extremely complicated), so I hope you’ll forgive me when I also say that your mom sounds like a bigot. It sounds like she’s got a whole ton of her own shit to work through (not an excuse btw) and that she’s taking it out on you. That’s not fair and you don’t deserve it.

I’m just gonna be straight up here and say this was a little bit dumpy, but I honestly don’t mind:) we all need to dump sometimes, and I’m perfectly comfortable responding to this kind of thing. I’m really glad to hear that you feel like this is a safe place to talk and vent— I want to be there for y’all as much as I am able.

Please stay safe and check back in!! If there’s anything else I can do, like offer strategies or counter arguments or just be a listening ear, please just ask. I’d be happy to help.