#and leonardo is 2 wine bottles deep trying to deal with the two of them
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This is a slight continuation of this post.
Leonardo: Ezio my friend! Hello! I see congratulations are in order.
Ezio: What? For what?
Leonard: For you and Desmond finally getting together. I had to admit I was being to think it would never happen.
Ezio: Desmond and I are just friends. Like you and I.
Leonardo: Ezio, I just saw you two kissing goodbye.
Ezio: Desmond is just a friendly guy, Leo. I'm sure he does that to all his friends.
Leonardo: He... kisses his friends on the mouth?
Ezio: Probably.
Leonardo: With tongue?
Ezio: *shrugs*
Leonardo:...
Leonardo: He and I need to become better friends.
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Or
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Leonardo: Oh! Hello, Desmond. I didn't expect you to be here so late is everything alri-
Desmond: I kissed Ezio!!!
Leonardo: Really?! That's wonderful! What happened next?
Desmond: I ran away.
Leonardo: What.
Desmond with his head in his hands as he groans: I ran away.
Leonardo sighing: I'll get the wine.
#desmond miles#ezio auditore#leonardo da vinci#EziDes#dezio#written post#they are both dumb your honor#someone help Leo#he doesn’t deserve this#ezio is just like#“how do I tell if Desmond likes me likes me?”#and leonardo is 2 wine bottles deep trying to deal with the two of them
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Movies I watched in March
Thought I’d chronicle the films I’ve been watching over the March period, from the 1st to the 31st, and how I’d rate them. If you’re looking for something to watch, perhaps this will help. A lot of these movies are available on streaming services also.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) - 10/10
I hadn’t watched this in a couple of years but I was blown away. Peak Scorsese.
Rushmore (1998) - 7/10
Not the best Wes Anderson movie for me but still fun.
Lion (2016) - 8/10
I discussed this at length on my podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. Great movie!
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10
Now this is one of the best Wes Anderson movies. I discuss this more on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Fantastic, funny and I watched it twice because it’s so much fun.
Inception (2010) - 10/10
Discussed on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Best Christopher Nolan movie for me, Inception is just breathtaking.
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) - 5/10
This might be Anderson’s weakest film (at least from what I’ve seen) but it’s still not as bad as a lot of directors at their worst.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) - 10/10
I was really on an Anderson binge in March. The Royal Tenenbaums is one of the most wholesome movies I’ve seen and certainly one of his best films.
Rome, Open City (1945) - 4/10
This was filmed in Nazi-occupied Italy and from that premise, the film enticed me. Despite having some interesting qualities, I do feel that initial pull is most of what the movie has going for it.
The Prestige (2006) - 7/10
I showed this to my brother and for what it’s worth, he enjoyed it. I do think this is one of Nolan’s weaker efforts but considering how much I like it, that speaks a lot to Nolan’s filmography as a whole.
Nostalgia (1983) - 10/10
I watched Nostalgia three times in the space of a week and reviewed it on The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s phenomenal.
Kangaroo Jack (2003) - 1/10
Another one I watched for the podcast. Kangaroo Jack is truly terrible and it upset me a great deal. Avoid this movie.
Stalker (1979) - 10/10
Another Andrei Tarkovsky movie (director of Nostalgia). I watched this again during the day before my second watch of Nostalgia and while it’s hard to compare such different movies, I enjoy Stalker more. It’s a staple of Russian cinema for a reason.
Four Lions (2010) - 5/10
Watched for the podcast. I didn’t really gel with this comedy but it would certainly appeal to someone who enjoys the humour, as my co-hosts did.
Revolutionary Road (2008) - 6/10
This Sam Mendes joint was a tad too melodramatic but still boasted some great performances from Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.
Metropolis (1927) - 6/10
This silent film is a staple in cinematic history. Its themes are as painfully relevant today as they were in the 20’s, yet despite that I found a lot of it to be intensely boring. After it hit the hour mark, I started playing it at 1.5x speed.
Crimson Peak (2015) - 4/10
A lot of great set design and costumes and colours, yet the story itself was madly uninteresting.
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004) - 10/10
Who doesn’t love a good movie written by Charlie Kaufman? I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon and after a third watch, it is as fascinating as it is gut-wrenching.
Godzilla (2014) - 3/10
If you wanted to see Godzilla fight a bunch of monsters for two hours, then this is not the movie for you. There’s maybe about ten minutes total of on-screen Godzilla action and considering that’s really all anyone’s watching this for, it’s amazing the titular sea lizard occupies so little of the movie.
Prisoners (2013) - 10/10
Brilliant mystery thriller by my favourite director, Denis Villeneuve. Discussed on the podcast.
Eraserhead (1977) - 7/10
David Lynch’s debut feature film went down in my estimations this time around. You can listen to why on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Still, Eraserhead is a very good movie.
Raiders of The Lost Ark (1981) - 6/10
The first Indiana Jones movie proved to be a fun romp and Harrison Ford plays the character beautifully. I’m just not a big fan of Spielberg and his average verging on pretty good but rarely ever great movies. Perhaps on a second watch, I may enjoy this more.
The Seventh Seal (1957) - 9/10
Watching this movie again was so much fun. So far, it’s my favourite Ingmar Bergman film. It’s a celebration of life and love, with an underlying sense of dread as death looms ever-present.
Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984) - 5/10
I can tell why this generally looked on as the weakest in the trilogy. Harrison Ford is still great but the movie dragged a lot and felt more like a bunch of things happening for the sake of it rather than a fun action/adventure.
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989) - 7/10
The Last Crusade was a lot of fun and maybe it was Sean Connery’s inclusion, or perhaps the bottle of wine I drank through the movie elevated my enjoyment. But alcohol aside, I still believe this to be the best in the series.
Justice League (2017) - 2/10
People really weren’t kidding when they said this was bad. I watched this in preparation for the Snyder cut and I was not happy. This took years off my life.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) - 3/10
Barely any better and double the run-time of the original. I discussed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon and I was certainly not impressed. Better luck next time, Zack!
The Truman Show (1998) - 10/10
Brilliant movie and one I would highly recommend for a stellar Jim Carrey performance. This was another recommendation for the podcast.
Eighth Grade (2018) - 7/10
I was impressed with Bo Burnham’s debut feature. This is a coming of age story centred around a young girl growing up in the modern world and how it can affect the youth of today. Burnham shows a deep understanding of youth culture and a real knack for filmmaking.
Bad Education (2019) - 8/10
A real “yikes!” movie. If you want to learn a bit about the embezzlement that took place in an American school back in the early 2000’s, you need not look further than this tight drama with fantastic performances from Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney.
Twelve Monkeys (1995) - 8/10
One of the only movies where the time travel makes sense. I recommended this for The Sunday Movie Marathon and it’s pretty great.
Ready Or Not (2019) - 7/10
Despite a premise that is not wholly original and a super goofy third act, Ready Or Not is gory, violent fun with a lot of stylish art direction.
Dead Man (1995) - 3/10
Recommended on the podcast. I really did not get a lot out of Dead Man. It’s a very slow movie about Johnny Depp going through the woods and killing some people on the way, but it’s two hours long and hugely metaphorical and sadly it just didn’t connect.
Misbehaviour (2020) - 6/10
A big draw for me in Misbehaviour is Keira Knightley; I think she’s a great actor and I’m basically on board with anything she does. I’d been wanting to see this for a while and I was shocked to see just how relevant it is (being set in 1970) to the world we find ourselves in today, where women are still fighting to be heard and to be treated equally. While the film is not spectacular, I still got a lot from its themes, so recently after the murder of Sarah Everard and how women are being treated in their protest.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (1964) - 7/10
I was surprised at just how hilarious this early Kubrick movie is. While I can’t say it floored me or took any top spots, it’s still a great examination of the military and how they respond to threats or try to solve problems and the side of war we don’t often see in films: the people in the background sitting in a room making crucial decisions.
Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10
Wow! I can’t believe I’d never seen this before but I’d never really had access to it. Taxi Driver is a beautifully made movie with so much colour and vibrancy. De Niro puts on perhaps his best performance and Paul Schrader’s timeless script works miracles.
Sleepy Hollow (1999) - 5/10
Classic Tim Burton aesthetics in a pretty by the numbers, almost Supernatural-esque story eked out over an hour and forty minutes.
Seaspiracy (2021) - 6/10
Everyone’s going crazy over this documentary and I agree it tackles important issues we’re facing today surrounding the commercialization of the fishing industry, but a lot of what’s presented here is information already available to the public. The editing feels misplaced at times and the tone is all over the place. Nonetheless, it’s still quite fascinating to see good journalism being done in a way that exposes this side of the industry.
Pirates of The Carribean: The Curse of The Black Pearl (2003) - 8/10
Super fun and a great first instalment in a franchise that sadly seems to have peaked at the first hurdle.
My Octopus Teacher (2020) - 8/10
Great cinematography and a lovely premise, this documentary has garnered an Oscar nomination and I can see why.
The Sisters Brothers (2018) - 8/10
A really solid western I was happy to watch again. It’s a shame no one really talks about this movie because it is excellent with stunning visuals and great performances.
Pirates of The Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) - 5/10
A strangely massive drop in quality from the original. If I didn’t like the whole concept of this franchise so much, I might have had a worse time.
Reservoir Dogs (1992) - 8/10
On a second watch, Tarantino’s first feature is still wildly impressive.
Life of Brian (1979) - 7/10
This is perhaps my third time watching Monty Python’s Life of Brian and it’s still incredibly funny, however it never manages to measure up to its predecessor (and one of my all time favourites), Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
#march#movies#film#wrap-up#monthly#follow for more#the wolf of wall street#rushmore#lion#the grand budapest hotel#inception#the life aquatic with steve zissou#the royal tenenbaums#rome open city#the prestige#nostalgia#kangaroo jack#stalker#four lions#revolutionary road#metropolis#crimson peak#eternal sunshine of the spotless mind#godzilla#prisoners#eraserhead#raiders of the lost ark#the seventh seal#indiana jones and the temple of doom#indiana jones and the last crusade
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