#and knows enough about rocks to pick ones with minerals that are gonna taste okay when he chews them up

[cheftasks]

( random maurice hc i came up with in a convo w/ creech: maurice is INCREDIBLY strong, and one of his self - soothing behaviors / stims is chewing on rocks. his bite strength is so powerful he can grind them to dust in his teeth. )

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia – Chapter Forty-Nine: Another Three Stories

Presenting the next raw and unedited chapter of my on-going, next-gen, My Hero Academia fic, Their Hero Academia!

Earlier chapters can be found here

Kenta Sato in Working Lunch

“Oh, who’s that?”

The sound of Nejire Amajiki’s voice made Kenta jump.  He’d just closed his phone after checking his notifications—Takuma had somehow managed to upload a half dozen videos in three days and Kimiko kept texting him about how she was going crazy studying and needed him to make her work harder.  He’d also gotten a few hits on the video he’d uploaded at the start of his Internship, but he was actually trying to take it seriously.  No eating stuff for clicks this week.  Plenty of time for that later.  Assuming of course that Tokoyami’s dad didn’t kill Takuma for some of the stuff he was putting up online.  Kenta swore he was half of Kimiko’s impulse control and nearly all of Takuma’s sometimes.

But when he’d closed his phone, it had shown his lock screen, with a picture of himself, Takuma, and Kimiko:  himself on the left, Kimiko on the right, Takuma with his arms around both of them. He remembered the day they’d taken it, right after they’d gotten their UA acceptance letters.  They all looked so proud (though Kimiko had claimed that she’d blinked).   Takuma had his usual “this is a good idea, trust me” grin and he could tell Kimiko was smiling (he always could).  But if you really looked closely at him, though, you could see the smile didn’t entirely reach his eyes.  He’d been too worried then, about whether or not his Quirk was good enough for Hero work. Even now, he was still pretty sure that he’d come in dead last in the Entrance Exam.

And yet here he was, interning with a Top-Ten Hero, Suneater (He was very sure there was some backroom dealing going on, even if they did both have eating-related Quirks).  Which also meant his wife.  Who made Kimiko look positively sedate.  He wasn’t sure how it was possible for one human being to be that perky or ask that many questions.  At least, not anyone who wasn’t Shota Shinso.

She’d apparently gotten a look at his lock screen.  “Just me and my friends,” he said.  His best friends, really.  As far back as he could remember, it had always been the three of them.  Of course, Takuma was spending a lot of time with Tensei these days, but given how much time Tensei spent in the lab with his sister, it still left plenty of time for the three of them.

Nejire peered at the picture.  “She’s cute!” she said, speaking of Kimiko.  “Is she your girlfriend?”

Kenta nearly dropped his phone.  How could she think…?  Why would she…?  He didn’t… Did he…?  “What? ��Kimmie’s not…”

“Are you suuuuuure?” she asked.  “Do you have a girlfriend already?  Or a boyfriend?  Or a special friend of some kind?”

Kenta started backing away. Maybe he could book it?  This really wasn’t a conversation he wanted to be having.  No point to it.  There was no way Kimiko thought about him like that anyway.

“Nejire, you’re scaring him.”  He hadn’t heard Suneater’s arrival, but Kenta was very grateful for it.

“I’m just asking some questions, Tamaki!”

Kenta really didn’t understand how someone as reserved and shy as Suneater had married someone like Nejire-Chan.  Even now, he flinched slightly at her exuberance.  

“Can it wait?” he asked. “We’ve got a call.  I’ll take Sato here and investigate.  You stay on standby.”

Just so long as it didn’t end like last time, where the paparazzi had splashed a photo of them with a caption implying Nejire-Chan was interested in him.  He could have gone his whole life without seeing it, but Kimiko had just had to share it with him and Takuma.

He was never going to live it down.  At least he was pretty sure Suneater and Nejire-Chan hadn’t seen it.  Or were polite enough not to mention it.  

***

Things went gloop.  The Villain they’d been dispatched to stop had a Quirk which let them produce vast quantities of some kind of strange, vaguely greenish colored… gunk.  There wasn’t any better word for it.  It wasn’t a solid, not really a liquid, and it was sticky as hell.  Kenta and Suneater were already buried up to their necks in it, along with most of the street.  

The Villain somehow seemed capable of walking on top of the gunk he’d created.  How that worked, Kenta didn’t know.  He was tall and skinny, with hair the same color was the gunk. No flashy costume, he just wore jeans and a t-shirt, along with a black trench coat.  

“Imagine me, Yuck-Raker, taking down a Top Ten Hero!” he laughed.  “I thought filling the streets with my gunk was performance enough, but winning a fight like this?”  He pulled a cellphone from his coat pocket and snapped a few selfies with Kenta and Suneater in the background.   “My hit count’s going to skyrocket!”

Great.  He was one of those. The kind of guy who gave Viewtube bloggers like Kenta and his friends a bad name.  A Villaintuber.  Someone who used their Quirk in villainous ways just for the hit count.  A trend that had started ages ago, but had picked back up in the last few years.

“Chomp,” Suneater said, using Kenta’s Hero name.  “I can’t morph anything to break loose.  Can you move at all?”

Kenta tried to move his arms and legs and struggled to move them at all.  No good.  Only his neck and head were free.  He could move that pretty good, but…   Oh.    “I think I can get us out,” he said.   The Yuck-Raker was still getting away, but taking his time with it, taking selfies, occasionally spraying more gunk.

This was gonna suck.

He lowered his head and took a big bite of the gunk.  It tasted awful.  Kenta’s sense of taste was, by necessity, a little wonky.  He enjoyed the taste of most metals, especially iron and steel and minerals like rocks were decent.  Wood tended to be a little dry and rubber was way t0o chewy.  And plastics were a whole mixed bag.   He’d even eaten a battery once, on a dare.   It had turned out to be a good thing his ability to eat anything meant his mouth and tongue were pretty much indestructible and that he couldn’t be poisoned.  Battery acid would have been a hell of a thing otherwise.

This gunk?  Absolutely the worst thing he had ever eaten.  And that included the time Takuma had dared him to eat his dirty socks and then filmed it.  It was slimy and sticky, like old gelatin.  Kenta had eaten actual dirt before and this made him want to throw up. But he powered through it, taking bigger and bigger bites, until his arms and upper body were free.  That gave him the leverage to start eating Suneater free.

It didn’t take long. And fortunately, the Yuck-Raker was still taking selfies.  This time, Suneater launched a pair of tenacles at him, wrapping him up. Yuck-Raker tried to fire more gunk at them, but Kenta got in the way, opening his mouth wide and catching it in his mouth.   So gross.

After that, Suneater had the Villain wrapped up and that pretty much took the fight out of him.

“Good work,” Suneater told him.  And for a moment, Kenta did feel a surge of pride.  Maybe some of the others could have done something—Todoriki probably could have frozen her way out and he was pretty sure Tokoyami’s Frog-Shadow wouldn’t have gotten stuck—but he was just as sure that several of them would have been just as stuck as they’d been.

Maybe he Quirk had its advantages after all.  Situations like this were probably few and far between, but he’d take the win today.

His stomach rumbling, Kenta let out of a long and loud burp.  Suneater gave him an incredulous look.  “Uh, excuse me,” he muttered, weakly.  He was going to need a mountain of antacids.  

And then maybe he’d called Kimmie.  

He was feeling lucky.

***

Asuka Tokoyami in The Sound of Silence

Asuka’s Internship with Mob-Goblin (a dark-skinned woman with pointed ears whose Quirk could summon up to a half-dozen small goblin like creatures under her control) had been quite ordinary so far.  A few small-time Villains stopped, a lot of training, and even more meditation.   And while that might have worked for communing with her creations, it hadn’t done nearly as well for Asuka.  Frog-Shadow liked to hum show-tunes during meditation.

Until now.  They’d been chasing a Villain with some kind of powerful blast Quirk.  They’d both launched their familiars at her, only for the Villain to unleash a burst of power that had shattered windows, set off car alarms, knocked them both off their feet, and ripped Frog-Shadow, who was at virtual ground zero, to pieces.

There was a wave of pain unlike anything she’d ever known and then she screamed.  And screamed and screamed and screamed until her throat was raw. Her world went white and even the sound of her screaming faded away into nothingness.

She became aware of being shoved back into consciousness by Mob-Goblin shaking her.  Her goblins had been wiped out too, but they weren’t as connected to her as Frog-Shadow was to Asuka.  “Tokoyami!” she said.  “Tokoyami! Speak to me…!”

Her vision cleared and Asuka found herself staring into Mob-Golbin’s face.  The other woman’s features were marred with worry.  “I…” Asuka began, her voice weak from screaming. “What… what happened?”

“Bad guy got away,” Mob-Goblin said.  “Took us both down.  Knocked out all of my goblins and our girl.  You okay?”

Was she?  Asuka took a moment to take stock of herself.  She appeared uninjured, at least, other than some soreness from her throat from screaming.  As for Frog-Shadow…

No.  It wasn’t possible.  But it was quiet.  Too quiet…

If you’re pretending to ignore me, Asuka thought, your timing is quiet terrible.

Nothing.

Frog-Shaow?  Frog-Shadow?  Are you there?  Speak to me!

“I,” she mumbled, “I can’t hear her.  She’s gone!”

***

As far back as Asuka could remember, she’d never been alone.  

Oh, certainly, there was a window from when she was born (not hatched, as some people might have thought) to when her Quirk manifested shortly before her third birthday, where, while there were always adults at most a few feet away.  But after Frog-Shadow appeared, there had always been another voice, another comforting presence in her life.  Whether that voice was only in her head, with a warm glow inside her body, or whether that voice was external, flitting about with a life of its own and embarrassing her, it had come to be one of the defining features of her life.

Both she and her father had been endlessly studied by and interviewed by Quirk researchers and counselors over the years.  They’d all ultimately thrown up their hands in frustration, unable to fully understand how their Quirk and the symbiotic relationship they shared with their familiars worked.  While the number of people possessing Quirks that could create semi-independent beings had risen over the last couple decades, they still made up less than one percent of the kinds of Quirks out in the world.

Which made the silence all the more deafening.

According to doctor, there was nothing wrong with her Quirk factors.  But with how poorly understood living Quirks like Frog-Shadow were, there was no telling how long it might take her to return.   Mob-Goblin had suggested that it might be psychological, that Frog-Shadow was simply within her and too afraid to come out.

Which was why she was trying meditation again.

She remembers playing in the park, father watching from the bench, Dark Shadow reading the paper over his shoulder and interjecting his opinion of world news, whether it was wanted or not.

She’s not quite three years old, the feathers on her head soft and downy, more fluff than feather.  

Asuka feels strange all of a sudden, warm.  She thinks she’s just been playing too hard when, with a slight pop and a lime-green flash of light, a tadpole shaped ball of light is floating next to her, tethered to her midsection by a glowing cord.

“Hi!” the light thing says.  It’s a girl, somehow she knows that.

Asuka’s eyes go wide.  She stares at it for several long seconds.  Finally, she lets out a shrill scream, starts running as fast as her little legs can carry her.   “DADDYYYYYYYYYY!”

She runs to her father, who’s already leapt up from the bench in a panic, Dark Shadow flying around him like an angry bird of prey. It’s only as she gets closer than she noticed the light-thing still following her, and she grabs hold of her father’s leg, crying.

“It won’t stop following meeeeee!”

“Hiiiiii,” the light thing trills.  She locks eyes with Dark Shadow.  “Daddy!”

“What?” Dark Shadow gasps, surprised.  He gives her father a confused, guilty look. “I’m not…  I mean, maybe?  It’s confusing!”

Her father looks over the both of them, instantly assessing the situation.  Carefully, he peels her from his leg and bends down next to him.  The light-thing keeps trying to hug Dark Shadow, darting this way and that, while Dark Shadow dodges out of the way.  

“Little Bird,” her father says, putting one hand on her shoulder, “I need you to take a deep breath and listen to me.  Can you do that?”

Asuka takes a deep breath, trying to still her tears. “Uh-huh…”  She can’t help but watch the light thing now, she’s managed to corner Dark Shadow and is snuggling up against him while he looks on helplessly.

“Fumi!  Help!”

But her father ignores Dark Shadow to focus on her.  “Asuka,” he says, looking to the light thing, then back to her, “this is your Quirk.  It may seem scary, but there must be light to be shadows, and every shadow needs the light. This is your light and your shadow. Do you understand?”

She shakes her head.  Sometimes, her father talks too funny for her to understand.  But she’s not crying anymore.

Her father pauses for a moment, thinking.  Then, “You know how Dark Shadow is Daddy’s friend?”

This, she understands.  She nods.  “Uh-huh.”

“I think this little one is meant to be yours.”

He stands up and turns to Dark Shadow and the light thing. She’s settled down in Dark Shadow’s arms now.  “May I?” he asks.  Dark Shadow nods and passes the thing to him.

Carefully, her father bends down again, holding the light thing in the crook of one arm.  He runs a hand along the tether connecting it to her.  “See?  Just like me and Dark Shadow.”

The thing gazes up at them, her eyes wide.  “Do you have a name, little one?” her father asks.

She gives them a confused look.  “I don’t know!”

“Maybe you’d like to her give a name, Asuka?”

Asuka looks over the little light-tadpole, how innocent it seems now.  It’s just a kid, like her.  “She’s a tadpole… so she’s a frog!  Like Mommy! So maybe… Frog-Shadow!”

“Ooooh!  I like that!  I like that!” the newly named Frog-Shadow claps it’s flippers together happily.

“It’s a big responsibility,” her father says. “Mommy’s going to have a new baby soon, and now this little one is here too.  You’re going to be a big sister twice over.  Can you be a good big sister, to both of them?”

Asuka nods.  “I can! I will!  I will, Daddy!  I promise!”

“Say, Fumi,” Dark Shadow says, “do you think this is because of the time we…”

“SILENCE!”

Since then, Frog-Shadow had been her constant companion, slowly growing from a tiny tadpole to a powerful frog-shaped light being.  And definitely into a being with a mind of her own.  The number of times Frog-Shadow had appeared of her own volition, to embarrass her or just to insert her own thoughts on things…  Asuka wasn’t sure whether or not having all that out in the open was better than having to just deal with Frog-Shadow’s voice in her head.

But right now, she missed it more than she had ever missed anything in the world.  It was as though a piece of herself had been cut out.

Thoughts of her promise returned to her.  Had she been a good “big sister?”  She often yelled at and argued with Frog-Shadow, tried to shame her into behaving properly.  Maybe she should have been more understanding?  Maybe she shouldn’t have tried so hard to make her fit her idea of good behavior?

“Please,” Asuka said softly, “please, come back.”

She felt a warmth growing in her middle, and with a pop, Frog-Shadow appeared!  She looked weak, her glow very dim, barely floating, but she was back.  

“Hiiii,” she said weakly.  

Asuka let out an unintelligible squeal and pulled Frog-Shadow to her tightly.  “Never, never worry me like that again, you!”

“Hey!  Hey!  I just took a break, okay!  No need to get so mushy!  But… okay, if you insist…”

“Love you, little sister,” Asuka said.

“Love you too.”

***

Tensei Iida in a Flight in the Limelight

Tensei fired his Jetpack, doing math in his head rapidly.  If he let the falling woman’s velocity equal x and his own speed equal y and the distance between them equal z, then he needed to maintain his speed and then reduce it so she would not become a greasy, crimson smear on his armor if he tried to catch her.  

He applied another burst of speed, then immediately cut his forward acceleration, just in time to catch her in his arms.  Her screams stopped, suddenly surprised at no longer falling.  

“I’m…  I’m not dead?”

“Please remain calm,” he said, trying to be reassuring.  Their teachers and his father had always insisted that reassuring the civilians was just as important as the physical rescue itself.  “This may be somewhat jarring.”

Carefully, he activated his Quirk again, slow bursts from his Jetpack to continue slowing them down, before shifting to a steadily decreasing stream to bring them down to the ground.  

On the ground, he was met by the Hero he was interning with, the gold and black-armored Veloci-Queen. She was able to generate a frictionless field around her body, which combined with the disks built into her hero suit, let her move at incredible speed.  The perfect fusion of science and speed, which Tensei respected.  She had a highly credible record as well, which he also respected.  The only blemish, it if could be called such, was her insistence that he needed to “lighten up.”

Of course, his boyfriend (He admitted, he truly did love thinking that word, even if they had only been able to exchange a few texts since the start of the Internship) occasionally said the same thing.

The fact that a mid-air rescue was how he had gotten his boyfriend in the first place was not lost on him.

“Good work, Jet-Blue,” Veloci-Queen said.  “You all right, Miss?”

The woman Tensei had caught—he vaguely recognized her from some Instaglam pictures Takuma had shown him—climbed out of his arms.   Paramedics were waiting for her.  “I’m fine,” she said.  “Thanks to this guy!”

She was blonde, with green eyes with vertical slits.  Now that he looked at her more closely, he could see that she has small scale patterns on various spots on her body.  Tensei was a poor judge of female attractiveness, but if this woman—Or was it girl?  He now realized she was not much older than him.—was an Instaglam content producer, she was likely attractive by those who found women attractive.

“So what caused you to fall like that?” Veloci-Queen asked.   Tensei knew she had little patience for so-called “internet celebrities.” She had found him watching one of Takuma’s videos during a lunch break and made some unflattering remarks about the kinds of people who made such videos.  He regretted not speaking up more in his boyfriend’s defense, but he also felt obligated to respect his mentor.

“Oh, I was up on the roof, trying to get the perfect picture!  The skyline is to die for!”

“…Be careful.  You won’t always have my intern to catch you.”

“Speaking of your intern,” the woman said, “I haven’t said thank you!  Can you take the helmet off?  I want to see the face of the guy who saved me!”

Tensei looked over to Veloci-Queen, who shrugged.  He reached up and snapped the seals on his helmet, lifting it off his head and holding it in the crook of his arm.

Before he could blink, the woman leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek, snapping the whole thing with her phone.  

***

What was the word that Takuma had used to describe when something spread through social media faster than one could track?   Ah, yes… viral.  He hadn’t quite understood it before, but in the last few hours, Tensei had come to see that the term was very apt.  Like a virus, it first infected one social media platform to another, spreading to various digital news outlets faster than he could blink.  

Instaglam Star Akebono Hebi Kisses Rescuer and U.A. Student Tensei Iida – Is Romance On the Horizon?

There were so many inaccuracies with that he did not know where to begin!   One, he was already in an established relationship!  Two, romances resulting from rescues were highly inappropriate!  Three, one kiss did not a relationship make and it very poor journalism to assume as such! And, of course, four, he was gay!

At least his boyfriend was being understanding.

Takuma Sero: You met Ake?  Super jealous.  She’s got, like, a bajillion followers!

That is entirely beside the point!

Why are you not scandalized by these accusations of disloyalty?

Takuma Sero: Babe.  I know you’re gay.  I’m not exactly worried here.

Nevertheless, this is all highly inappropriate!

Takuma Sero: First time going viral?

Takuma Sero: This can’t be your first time being in the news, Tensei.

Takuma Sero: Your family’s super-famous.  Mom, Dad, Uncle, like, everybody.

Yes, but that has only been in association with my more renown family members!

And furthermore, this has nothing to do with my own merits!

This is merely her using me for…

What is the word I am looking for here?

Takuma Sero: For clicks?

Yes!

This is her using me for clicks!

Takuma Sero: Didn’t your mom use your dad as an advertisement

the first time they met?

Yes, but that is entirely beside the point!

Takuma Sero: Babe.  Relax.  Ake’s a bigger attention whore than me.

Takuma Sero: By this time tomorrow, she’ll be going viral for something else.

Takuma Sero: And you’ll be yesterday’s news.

Takuma Sero: Except to me.

You are much wiser in the ways of the social media than me.

I shall defer to your expertise in the matter.

Takuma Sero: Though if you did want to go

viral for kissing someone

Takuma Sero: I could always stream it

Takuma: Sero: Joking!  

I should hope so!

Though I would not object to the non-streaming part of that.

Takuma Sero: Why, Mister Iida!

Takuma Sero: Did you just say you wanted to kiss me?

Takuma Sero: I thought your sister was the expressive one!

I am fully capable of expressing my own desires!

And please do not discuss my sister.

I have no wish to think about whatever she and Toshi may get up to.

Tensei hoped Takuma was right.  At the very least, he was grateful that his father was not active or interested in social media.  The last thing he needed was more reminders about upholding the Iida family name. That had been impressed upon him and his sister often enough.  Father simply wanted what was best, but even Tensei could admit, his line of thinking was somewhat rigid.  

More importantly, he was even more grateful his sister seemed not to have noticed this.  She would never have let him hear the end of it if she did.

His phone buzzed.

Sora: You now also have a girlfriend?  You really must allow me to better vet your romantic entanglements, Little Brother!

Tensei just sighed. Some things, it seemed, never changed.

[ckret2]

So a lot of care goes into your writing (I assume) and it seems like you do a lot of research. I was wondering how you conduct your research, what kind of sites you look for, how you narrow done what your looking for, etc, if you wouldn’t mind sharing?

It honestly depends on what I’m looking for! Like, I work better when I have specific examples, so I’m gonna ramble to you about one thing I looked up today:

When Ghidorah hooked up to a radio station, I wanted it to be an actual real world radio station so that I could listen to the station online and go “yeah, here are the songs they’re listening to.” Because that’s a lot better than me, whose sum total of Spanish knowledge comes from a couple years of very spotty Duolingo practice, trying to guess what kind of songs play on actual Mexican radio stations.

Based on prior research I already knew that the fictional Isla de Mara is basically straight out east from the Rio Grande, next to the state Tamaulipas, so I got on Google Maps, scrolled around to where the Grande dumps into the Gulf, and looked for the city nearest the coast that looked sizable enough to have a radio station (i.e., the one closest to the coast that has a big name). And that ended up being Matamoros:

Here’s a pro tip: if you’re trying to find info about something in a non-English-speaking country, you’re probably going to find a lot more reliable resources a lot more easily if you actually google for that info in the language that’s spoken in that country. If you don’t know the language, Google Translate it. When you find the page you want, Google Translate it back. Yes, you’re gonna lose some nuance and some of the translations will be wonky, but it’ll still probably give you better info than if you’re googling for English pages about something in, like, Indonesia or wherever.

(Can you tell Indonesia is also on the list of places I’ve been researching! Do y’all wanna read the best myth I’ve ever read in my life? It features a snake named Stupid Boy and a misunderstanding worthy of an Abbott & Costello skit. I love it and I’ve only read a Wikipedia summary of it. And a Google Translated version of the Indonesian Wikipedia version of the story, which is 20% wilder. This has absolutely nothing to do with what I was trying to research.)

So I plugged “radio station” into Google Translate, got the Spanish, googled “estaciones de radio matamoros tamaulipas,” and clicked on the very first result because it’s a streaming site, and look at the options. All the FM stations are out. All the AM stations that don’t have genres listed, I’m pushing to the bottom of the list because I don’t wanna listen to each individual one trying to find out if they actually play music or not. The station that gives its genre as “noticias” I ignore because I’m not here for news, I’m here for music. There are two stations that have “balada/grupera/mexicano/ranchera” listed for their genres, and these I do know are music genres due to Prior Research, because yes I had to do research to find that out because I don’t know crap about Mexican music genres but I’m sure gonna learn.

And also while I’m at it I look up “balada” and “grupera” on wikipedia because I don’t know what those genres are, and now I know that “balada” is just Latin ballad, and more significantly I know from one single line on Wikipedia that balada is partially distinguishable from the bolero genre it spawned from because ballads usually have more direct straightforward romantic lyrics whereas boleros are generally more subtle/metaphorical, which, okay! What am I going to do with this information? I don’t know! Possibly nothing! But because I read the Wikipedia page it’s now a fact that lives inside my head! Ballads are straightforward about the romance! That’s a distinguishing feature!

There’s pro tip #2 on research: when there’s a subject you need to know, seriously, just go to wikipedia and read up on it and start clicking on all the links on the page you’re on and absorb the knowledge. You might use none of it, or it might end up super important. The fic Mafic exists because when I was writing Gold Gilt on Molten Basalt Ghidorah licked Rodan and I needed to know what he’d taste like, so I looked up igneous rocks to find out what minerals are in them, and “feldspar” was on the list, so I said he tasted like feldspar, and then I kept reading the page and found out there was a difference between intrusive and extrusive igneous rock, with “extrusive” meaning the rock formed on the surface rather than inside/under the volcano, and it said “basalt” is common extrusive rock, and well okay then obviously any rock that makes up Rodan’s hide is going to be extrusive, and “basalt” is a word which I have heard before which means readers have probably heard it before, so bam now he’s made out of basalt. … And then doing more research on volcanoes in subsequent weeks I find out that basalt is a common extrusive igneous rock from volcanoes with mafic lava, which are typically short dome-shaped volcanoes that ooze rather than tall pointy volcanoes that go boom, but Rodan’s volcano is definitely tall and pointy and goes boom, and whoops I hecked up. And now because I looked up mafic and felsic volcanoes, I made up a whole-ass goddamn set of Rodan subspecies, and my worldbuilding is richer for it, even though mafic & felsic lava wasn’t relevant to the info I was looking for when I found it out. And these are things learned gradually, over several weeks of looking up one tiny volcano detail for Rodan at a time and then reading three more Wikipedia pages in the process. Do I understand 70% of what I read? I sure don’t, because I’m neither a chemist nor a geologist. Do I make use of the 30% I do understand? I sure do! And that makes it worth it.

So back to the radio.

So there are two radio stations on this site that play music, so I click on the first one. And what do you know, I get a radio stream and it’s playing music! That’s it research done I got what I’m looking for. I bookmark the station and listen to it from time to time to like, absorb the sound, so that I can describe it in fic when I need to. (Admittedly, when I finally did describe it in fic it was “confusing noise???” because I was writing from the perspective of a couple creatures that have never heard human music before—but as they adjust to the sound any descriptions of it will, like, reflect what it actually sounds like.)

So that was a week or two ago. Today, I’m trying to write a fic where actual humans are hearing that same radio station, which means they can probably like, actually understand what songs are playing. So I listen to the station and try to pick out lyrics to google so I can find out the titles of the songs. (I am told by Google Translate that the Spanish word for lyrics is “letra,” but I seem to get about the same results whether my search term is “lyrics” or “letra.”) But the thing is, I suck at picking out lyrics in English, which I actually speak, and duolingo does not prepare you for the challenge of picking out individual words from balada as they’re singing and you’re trying to parse two words inside your head when the next three words come and you forget the first two words and then you forget the whole phrase and fifteen seconds have gone by and the only word you picked out was “mañana” and that’s not enough lyrics to google. So I recorded 20-odd minutes of the station so that I could listen to the same lines over and over until I picked out a few words well enough to google. And I’ve now picked out… two lyrics that let me identify two songs! 

Pro tip #3: research is slow sometimes.

pro tip #4: if you’re trying to decipher spanish lyrics from a live radio station maybe like ask if any of your friends know more spanish than you and don’t have anything better to do with their evening than help you google lyrics.

So uh the tl;dr is research is a lot of Google and a lot of Wikipedia. If I was writing, like, an actual novel or something that I planned on publishing or putting before an audience bigger than… *checks notes on fics* a hundred people, then it would also be a lot of books and a lot of finding people from the actual cultures I’m trying to write about to ask them about whatever subject I’m writing about; but eventually you’ve gotta balance out the effort vs the rewards, and hauling ass to the library to spend five days doing research for a fic I’m gonna write in two hours and post the night I wrote it is a time sink that my ADHD and I lack the coordination and attention span to manage.

But hey here’s my last pro tip: assume you don’t know things, unless you know that you already know them. Like, if you’re going to drop a fish in a volcano, you probably assume that you know what that smoke is going to look like, because, generally, you know what smoke looks like, don’t you? But unless you’ve already seen a fish fall in a volcano, don’t assume that. Assume that you don’t know what the smoke of a lava-cooked fish looks like. Look it up. If you can’t find a result, look up a fish in a fire instead because that’s the next closest thing. Some smoke is whitish and some is black and if you want to describe that smoke you’ve gotta have seen it to know which it’s gonna be.

And here’s where “assume nothing” gets really important: if you’re gonna have a giant pteranodon make glass in his volcano, you’re probably going to assume that the volcano will be hot enough to actually melt the glass, because volcanoes are literally so hot they melt rocks. So it’s def hot enough for glass, right? Don’t assume that. Look it up. When you do you’ll find out that lava is actually approximately 500°C too cool to melt sand into glass. You’ll also find out that lava is too cool to melt the very rocks that go into lava, and you’ll spend four hours obsessively googling lava to find out how the hell magma is formed if it’s not actually hot enough to be liquid. (The answer: water mixed with the rocks lowers the melting point; and the drop in the extreme pressure when rocks move upward in the mantle also lowers the melting point; until the melting point is reduced to the actual temperature of the rock. I found this out while trying to write about a pteranodon making glass.)

And that’s it that’s how I do research. To answer your specific questions: I don’t concern myself with “what kind of sites” I look for because the sites that I’m gonna look at are the first results that pop up when I google a question, and if the first results don’t have the answer, then I click on the next results, and the next results, until I find the site that’s got it. I don’t “narrow down” what I’m looking for—if anything, what I do is the exact opposite of “narrowing down” what I’m looking for, I start with one question and then I broaden it to read about a half dozen tangentially-related concepts because that tangential info will probably be useful and I won’t know that until it’s in my brain percolating. If you want to know One Specific Fact and you look up that One Specific Fact and immediately leave, then you fail to learn the Fifteen Related Facts that are super important to the overall topic you’re writing about but that you never knew to ask about because you were only looking for that One Specific Fact.

Feel free to ask for clarification. I went stream-of-consciousness as hell on this ask.

[heroacademiasstuff]

Contact

Also available on my ao3 account dolphins.

2.

Abandoning his paperwork in search for much needed caffeine, Aizawa stood, stretched, and broke away from his cocoon at his desk. Mic had sent him a message which he lazily replied to with one hand as he walked down the school's corridors. It stank of bleach and window-cleaner after the kids had gone home and he dodged the obstacle course of wet floor signs blotted around his path.

A horrid choking noise ripped him from his lazy thoughts, blinking around in confusion, his eyes inevitably fell upon the teacher's bathroom.

"What in the world-"

Opening the door, Yagi Toshinori was knelt over the toilet throwing up his guts. Quite literally by the sight of blood and bodily fluids on the floor and his baggy clothes.

"Toshinori?" he practically stumbled through the door, trying to push the panic out of his voice, unfortunately to no avail. "Are you-?" he could hardly say okay... that much was obvious. The figure in front of him was clearly not okay, gasping up at him in surprise, pale face bony and clammy with sweat. All of his body was trembling and looked like he wanted to escape from view, but was too weak to do so.

"You need to see a doctor," Aizawa ground out, shaking some sense into his rattled brain and leaning forward to grab his colleague. "Get off!" Toshinori snapped suddenly, a fire in his tone that seemed irrational for his condition. Abruptly he shoved his head over the bowl and puked, strings of sweaty hair falling around his face. Aizawa knew he had some health problems but he had never imagined it would be this bad. Grabbing the back of Toshinori's hair, he scooped it out of his face and tied it into a rough ponytail with the elastic on his wrist.

"Come on," Aizawa rubbed at his back gingerly. "You need to see Recovery Girl or I'm taking you to a hospital myself. This isn't normal, not for you and not for anyone."

"No one can see me like this," he let out a choked breath, pride overcoming his clearly obvious need. "It is bad enough you have seen me," Aizawa practically rolled his eyes, ignoring the man's protest and weak pushes from his skinny hands, and knelt down in the puke and blood and grabbed the toilet roll near by, wiping his mouth and nose. "Come on," he uttered quietly, leaning over to try to pick him up. "I don't need your help!" Toshinori ground out, bitter at his weaknesses as he pushed him off. "I'm just having a- a bad day. It's normal."

Stumbling to his feet, he grabbed onto the sink, practically collapsing against it. Cold sweat running in rivulets down his cheeks. "A bad day?" Aizawa scoffed. He bit his tongue as Toshinori grabbed at his abdomen in obvious pain, clothes soaked all the way through and stained. Aizawa ignored his protests and grabbed him, throwing him up and over his shoulder.

"S-Stop!" he demanded, throwing weak punches to the other man's back. It felt like one of his cat's pawing at him, rather than a whack from a pro hero. Aizawa ignored him, holding tightly and making his way to the nurse's room. Placing him down on the bed and holding his chest with one hand when he made an attempt to get up. The clock tick, tick, ticking seemed agonisingly loud, both of them locked in a stare of defiance.

Recovery Girl entered from her small office and looked him over. A frown settled over her features.

"I'll go clean up the bathroom," Aizawa muttered, knowing damn well he didn't want to be in the same room as them when she unleashed her wrath down upon the man. With a slam the door shut.

"You are going too far, Yagi," Recovery Girl said after a beat. "You are pushing yourself. You need to see a doctor. All of this is only going to damage your body even more. I can see where the boy gets it from," Toshinori looked at her, hurt evident in his shadowed eyes. "I just need a week- Midoriya, my boy, he needs me."

"He won't have you much longer if you are going on like this. I have checked your vitals. Really I should be putting you on a medically-induced coma and running IV fluid and minerals through your body for a month," her words were stern, but he could see the worry in her eyes. "It is not worth it- to destroy yourself- to destroy the boy... all for nothing."

Toshinori swallowed hard. A small bird fluttered around on the window ledge, chirping in at him, it blurred in front of his view.

"How long has this been going on?" she asked, rattling around with a jar and some sort of concoction on the counter beside. "What has?" he was too tired for this conversation. A sigh dragging from his tired, scarred lung. "This neglect of your body," she snapped. "It is clear to see you haven't been taking your medication, or consuming enough food to withstand using your All Might form." 

At the moment it was getting difficult to keep them down long enough to get absorbed. He kept his lips clamped shut. 

Aizawa returned, sweat dotten around like raindrops on his brow and an armful of worn-out looking clothes trailing on the crook of his arm. "Here," he handed them over, dumping them on the bed.

"I will leave you to it," Recovery Girl said, eyeing Toshinori disappointedly.

Moving forward, Aizawa helped him pull off the ruined clothes, surprisingly with little objection. Blushing sullenly, he used the sheet from the bed to cover himself and allowed his colleague to help him dress. "You need to gain weight," Aizawa pointed out, trying to swallow down the growing nausea.

"I know," Toshinori simply agreed. The 'I can't' going unspoken. Thankfully Aizawa stayed silent after that, pulling on the old gym clothes over his bony frame. A t-shirt and grey sweatpants he had found in his duffel bag. Barely used and barely fitting, however they smelled lightly of washing powder and skimmed the top of his ankles, hanging loosely- the lanky thing he was. Settling against the pillows, he looked up at Aizawa with grateful eyes. 

Recovery Girl returned. She used her quirk on him and gave him a small dose of highly concentrated minerals and vitamins, as well as something for the nausea. It left him fatigued, eyes barely able to stay open. Gallons of blood splattered like waves in his eardrums, like sitting by a rock ocean, he thought he was gonna hurl again over the side of the bed. It was like his brain was jam packed full of cotton wool.

"Really he should be going to a hospital, Shota-kun," he just about heard recovery girl say quietly. "I know," Aizawa agreed, "I will let him rest then park my car around the front and take him home." 

Recovery Girl sounded like she agreed with that plan and rested a cool hand on Toshinori's forehead.

Aizawa left the room, by now his craving for caffeine had doubled, maybe tripled and he poured himself a hot coffee in the staff room. Savouring the sweet taste of the hot, black liquid, he took it outside to stand in the late, afternoon sunshine. School was turned down a few decibels without the hustle and bustle of the kids... he could actually hear the whispers of the trees. Hands wrapping around the cup for warmth, his eyes blinked down at the red stains around his finger nails. A knot tightened inside his throat. He loosened his scarf.

"I'm ready to go," a voice from behind jolted him from his thoughts. Fuck. "You shouldn't have came out by yourself. I was going to help you to the car," he frowned at the blonde, evident exasperation in his tone.

Sitting down beside him, slowly, as though all of his body was weighed down my lead, or he was swimming in a disgusting pool of sludge. The ground around him was still swaying, so he allowed the silence to seep into his bones for a couple of moments.

"You must think I am some decrepit, frail, old man," Toshinori muttered, after a while.

"Since when have you ever cared what I think?" Aizawa raised an eyebrow over his mug. Toshinori shrugged solemnly, self-pity staining his features, he scratched at a loose thread on his sweatpants.

"I don't... for the record," Aizawa muttered, avoiding eye contact with the man beside him, "-think anything of the sort about you. "You are a person with strong will and kindness... your body is second to that fact."

Toshinori went quiet. Probably quieter than Aizawa could ever remember him being in all their interactions. "Come on," he stood, cutting off Toshinori as he opened his mouth to speak. "You need to get home and get some sleep."

Reaching out, he took his friend's hand, steadying him enough to stand. A growing red stain darkening over Toshinori's cheeks as he accepted the help, all of his nerves feeling open and frayed and ever so raw as he leaned his whole body against Aizawa.

[thewadapan]

Cowboy

(I wrote a short story for the Homestuck Discord’s first writing contest. This is where I’d put a content warning, but if I’m any more specific I’ll spoil it, so consider this a warning of its own.)

Mad Joey had never been much good at naming things. He was good at cards, and drinking large quantities of terrible lager, and had quite the uncanny ability to walk more than ten feet on his hands alone - but whenever he was asked to name something, he’d just pick the first thing that came into his head. On his tenth birthday, his mother had bought him a cat, which he’d named “Kitty” - it had ended up dying a couple of months later, in an unfortunate accident involving a litter tray and a lighter. His mother had herself died only a few months after that, coincidentally in another incident involving a lighter - although, in this case, it had not been a litter tray, but rather several gallons of petrol.

The name “Mad Joey” had been his own invention, too. All of his friends (well, both of them) agreed that it was a terrible name: Joey was not mad - so they argued - just a bit of a prick.

Despite the fact that he’d been riding on it for almost two whole days, Mad Joey’s workhorse had yet to receive a name of its own. It was a tired thing, propelled along by four spindly legs which somehow managed to transmit each and every undulation of the ground beneath up through the worn saddle and straight into Mad Joey’s ass - even though not one of its legs touched the floor. The workhorse’s repulsor technology worked fine on the level roads found on the core planets, where remaining a fixed difference above the ground made for a relatively smooth ride. Here in the outer reaches, however, its lack of suspension was sorely felt.

“Piece o’ shit,” Mad Joey muttered, thinking that’d make a fine name for his steed.

Glancing back through the thick cloud of fine smoke being kicked up behind his vehicle, Mad Joey could see the faint outline of his pursuer’s speeder - noticeably bigger than the last time he’d looked. He was losing ground.

Searing pain shot through Mad Joey’s arm, the product of a harpoon fired by the pilot of the craft behind. “Fuck!” he yelled as he let go of the reins and tried to pull it free. “Son of a bitch!” It was no use. The cable was already taut; he found himself being dragged from the craft, face-planting into the dust below and rolling to a stop.

By the time he’d recovered, the other speeder had come to a stop. He ignored it and remained where he was on the windswept ground. With his good arm, he tore off his helmet. Though it stank something fierce, the air here was just about breathable - of course, it’d have to be, for what he was planning.

Mad Joey sat up, retrieved his flask from his suit, and took a long swig of the whiskey contained within. It tasted like piss, and he almost choked on it. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the speeder’s occupant climbed out and approached through the settling smoke. “A’ight mate, this has been a laugh, but enough’s enough,” a voice crackled from behind the mirrored glass of their helmet. “You gonna come quietly? I got a taser.”

Mad Joey laughed at that. He was busy stuffing a rag into the flask - a difficult task, with just one hand to work with, but not an impossible one. “Not a chance, partner,” he said, trying the word out for size.

“The fuck’s that voice you’re doing?”

Slowly, Mad Joey got to his feet. “Here’s how this is gonna go down,” he drawled. “You’re gonna turn around, get back in that speeder, and mosey the hell away from this dustball.”

His adversary took a step forward. “And why the fuck’s that?”

Mad Joey gestured around expansively. “Gunpowder.”

“You what?”

After a moment’s hesitation, Mad Joey chose to repeat himself. “...Gunpowder.”

“Nah mate, I heard you, it’s just…” They trailed off, their helmet swivelling as they took in their surroundings - as if for the first time. “Wait, that’s what this shit is?”

In answer, Mad Joey brandished a lighter. This proved tricky, because his good hand already had a flask in it, but he managed.

“Naaah, that’s fuckin’ batty. The whole planet’s made of this shit. How the fuck would a rock like this even form?” They shook their head. “This is why you’re doing all cowboy shit, innit?”

“Ah’m gonna blow this whole place sky high,” Mad Joey said, “go out in a blaze o’ glory.” His bad arm was stinging like a bitch. His good hand was shaking. “They’ll see the blast from the central planets.”

The lawperson looked around again, one hand raised to their helmet to shield their eyes. It was almost midday, and the sun bore down brightly. “No, they won’t - there won’t be any blast, mate, the wind’ll put it out.”

Mad Joey faltered. “Reckon it’ll be enough to take the both of us out, at least.” He looked down at the cable dangling from his arm. It was like a lasso, he thought. “Get outta here. Tell ‘em Mad Joey won, tell ‘em he burned his way into hell.”

“You didn’t win shit,” they snorted - forcing a burst of static out through the speakers in their suit. “They had the fires out in like, ten minutes - fire service’s a lot better than it used to be. They literally only want you for wasting everyone’s time.” They advanced, arms spread wide - but Mad Joey raised the lighter, and they froze. “This is fucking daft,” they pressed. “Mate, look, I dunno who you are, I dunno how you found this rock, but you gotta admit this is a bit much.”

Mad Joey looked away, and his gaze fell upon the workhorse, which had crashed into a nearby dune and now rested with all four legs pointing in the air. “I killed my mu- mom,” he stuttered. “I burned the house down with her in it, ‘cause she was a bitch, and nobody knew I did it.”

“You…” The lawperson reached up with both hands and removed their helmet. From beneath the mirrored glass, Mad Joey saw a face emerge which was a faint reflection of his own - older, with bleached-blonde hair - and heard a distantly familiar voice. “...Joel?”

“Mum,” said Mad Joey. He staggered forward, dropping the lighter and the flask. They fell into the gunpowder, which didn’t ignite.

“I didn’t even recognise you,” she said, tears running down her cheeks. “You look like shit. Also, you were talking in a fucking cowboy voice, you twat.”

“I just thought it’d be cool,” sobbed Mad Joey. “Cowboys are so fucking cool, Mum,” he bawled.

“Shh,” Joel’s mother said, drawing him into a hug. “You don’t have to be a cowboy to be cool.”

“I know, Mum, I’m so sorry-”

“-No, I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing him tighter. “I’m sorry I was such a shit mum. After- after the fire- after I’d thought you died- I tried to sort my shit out, really.”

“You did, Mum,” said Mad Joey. “You’re a fuckin’ police lady. That’s cool as shit.” After a couple of moments, he pushed her away slightly. “Watch this,” he said, taking a couple of steps back. He sucked in a deep breath, then quickly bent over forwards, flipping up so that he was standing on his hands. Unfortunately, one of his arms still had a harpoon sticking out of it, and it gave way instantly - sending him crashing into the dust with a shriek. “Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!”

“I-” started his mother, not really sure what she’d just witnessed.

“Nah, nah, I’m all- fuck! I’m- I’m all right. Fuck. Was just… I can do this cool thing, where I walk on my hands, y’know.”

“I know,” she nodded, not knowing. She knelt down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry I shot you - we’ll get you to a hospital or something, get it looked at, yeah?”

“Are- are you gonna arrest me?” asked Mad Joey, haltingly.

His mother nodded again. “You did crimes, Joel. I’m sorry.” She reached into a compartment in her suit and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. “I know I’m your mum, but crimes are against the law.”

“Yeah, okay.” Mad Joey wiped the tears from his eyes, before holding out his hands. Once the handcuffs were on, his mother helped him into the speeder, and - as they flew away - he stared down at the planet of gunpowder in pensive thought. After thinking for a while, he spoke up. “Mum… now that we’re up here… do you wanna set the gunpowder off?”

She turned around in the driver’s seat. “Haven’t you burnt enough things today?”

Joel supposed he had.

Commentary

The Homestuck Discord got a new #writing channel towards the end of December, last year, after a survey in which a few users requested one. For some reason I didn’t post there until over a month later, but - as the amount of time I spent in the server increased - I found myself growing fairly invested in the channel. See, it’s always struggled a lot in terms of activity - often playing host to one or two short conversations, if that - and, as it was introduced on an experimental basis, it’s always in danger of being archived.

This isn’t really the place to examine the channel in detail. What I will say is that perhaps its most important role is to provide a place for people to shill their own writing, where it would otherwise be buried in #general or laughed out of #mspa-lit.

I’m pretty sure I was the first person to meaningfully suggest doing a #writing contest, all the way back towards the end of February: “could be a two-week contest with a decent prompt, where idk the winning story gets posted in #shilling or something”. It wasn’t until after spiral became the art-cosplay pseudo moderator that anything came of this - only instead of one prompt, there was to be four, and instead of a #shilling post being the prize a couple of the server’s resident artists offered to grant a free commission to each of the winners.

Determined to put my money where my mouth was, I got right to work on my own entry. First, I had to pick from the prompts:

DIALOGUE PROMPT: "You don't want to live in a society like this, yet you don't want to do anything about it!"

ART PROMPT: “Chilly Night” by Martyna "Marcia" Chmielewska

SETTING PROMPT: A vast, barren planet devoid of most resources except one rare mineral.

SENTENCE PROMPT: In the ballroom, full of swishing skirts and duplicity, there was one thing left unaccounted for.

I was sorely tempted by the “we live in a society” prompt, but didn’t think it’d be possible to incorporate it naturally into a piece.

(As it happened, a few people did choose that prompt, and I was pleasantly surprised by how effectively they used the line.)

In the end, I settled on the one which fell within my own comfort zone - the setting prompt. I remembered seeing a post by Drew Linky which mentioned “nitroglycerin”, and - even if it didn’t quite fit the spirit of the prompt - I couldn’t get the idea of a planet made entirely of explosives out of my head. So I ran with it.

I did a bit of research into what large amounts of dynamite looked like when they exploded - by which I mean I watched some random YouTube video - and decided that gunpowder would be a much more evocative substance to make a planet from; it’d look like black sand.

The thing that I found most rewarding when writing this story was that each new idea felt like a natural progression from the last. Gunpowder evoked Western stories, so I decided to present the story as a standard Western - only to pull the rug out from under the reader as the description of the “workhorse” progresses and it becomes apparent that the story’s set in place. I wanted to have an outlaw and a sheriff of sorts, and they needed to be on the planet for a reason.

You can probably guess how the story’s opening line came about. I was staring at a brand new Google Doc and wanted to give it a title, and went with the first thing that came into my head: “Cowboy”. To get myself in the mood, I wound up reading some article about gambling in the Old West (effectively none of which made its way into the story). All of the little details and anecdotes in the first couple of paragraphs were pulled pretty much from thin air; I very much wrote this story by the seat of my pants, rarely stopping to go back and edit or to plan ahead, so in retrospect I’m pretty pleased with the extent to which I was able to incorporate them into the story’s climax.

The idea that Joey’s workhorse has no suspension was probably inspired on a subconscious level by the scooter which I used to ride as a kid. It had solid wheels, which meant you felt every bump in the road. Boy, that thing was fun. The ground’s described as having undulations, by which I meant the wavy patterns left in wind-swept sand; the fact that the planet’s windy is important, as it’s later stated that Mad Joey probably won’t be able to spread a fire across its whole surface.

I liked the idea that the workhorse was kicking up a big cloud of gunpowder as it went - kinda like those ships in The Last Jedi - which seemed to mirror the semi-literal trail of smoke which Mad Joey had been leaving all his life. Speaking of things inspired by sci-fi, didn’t somebody get a harpoon through a limb in Firefly? I had a specific image in my head when I wrote that scene, but I’ve forgotten where exactly it was from.

The line about the air being breathable plants the idea that he’s planning to set something on fire - of course, by then, we already know he’s capable of arson.

I probably only included the beat about whiskey because of the infamous “pass the whiskey” voice line from Fistful of Frags, which I’d briefly played a month or so prior to writing the story. From there, the idea that he’d make a kind of Molotov cocktail using the whiskey was a natural step - see what I mean about this story writing itself?

It’s around this point that the dialogue kicks in. When I wrote this story, I’d been working on “The Beast Within (My Pants)” for a good couple of months, and I quickly found myself slipping into the abrasive cartoonishly-British voice I’d used for many of those characters. Mad Joey himself speaks with my own poor impression of a cowboy, which seemed about right. In all honesty, I’m not sure how well the conversation comes off. My goal was to juxtapose the absurdity of many of the lines against the fact that Mad Joey is getting talked down from the edge, so to speak.

I found myself tripping over the fact that I hadn’t established a gender to his pursuant - I’d given them an opaque helmet and described them in ambiguous terms to keep my options open. In reality, this effectively shut down other avenues for the story’s resolution, because - in terms of economy of narrative - I had to provide some kind of payoff. Glancing back at the beginning of the story told me that I had only one option - Mad Joey was being chased by none other than his own mother. I felt like this was an effective twist because her dialogue seems pretty... laddish? It also generally seems to fit the themes of contrivance and absurdity I’d established with, y’know, a planet made of gunpowder.

The turning point occurs around the time that Mad Joey looks at the workhorse and sees it lying dead on the ground. You see him almost drop his persona in the line “I killed my mu- mom”; he soon drops the drawl entirely.

After the twist is revealed, the dissonance ramps up to eleven. I’m particularly happy with the exchange “Cowboys are so fucking cool, mum” / “Shh. You don’t have to be a cowboy to be cool.” Also,  “You did crimes, Joel. I’m sorry. I know I’m your mum, but crimes are against the law.” Something I’ve always found is that, in real life, emotionally-charged moments like this are often very ugly things, where the things people say would seem very strange to an outsider. Mad Joey’s attempt to walk on his hands serves to emphasise this theme.

In terms of the story’s main theme, it’s... kind of a story about shilling? Or at least, within the context of #writing itself, it’s about doing things you don’t really want to do just for the sake of being known, of having people pay attention to you. Ultimately, the story presents this as something harmful - it almost leads to Mad Joey’s oblivion - and says that resolution comes from people who already care as opposed to the nebulously-defined world at large.

I paid a fair bit of attention to the presentation of the story, because I wanted to draw people into it. Once I’d written it, I deliberately cut it down until it fit on four pages instead of four-and-a-bit; I thought people’d be more inclined to read a four-page story than a five-page one. I’ve been trying to minimise my use of italics for a while now - it’s a crutch, and it causes trouble when copying text around - which I suppose would hypothetically make it easier for people to post quotes in Discord without having to mess around adding markdown back in. There are a couple of places where I had no choice but to use italics, but for the most part I think this was a successful effort.

The plan, once I’d drawn readers in, was to challenge them. The use of profanity is excessive. The story’s central conceit doesn’t make a lot of sense. The twist is contrived. The ending doesn’t quite feel complete. Like Mad Joey’s own persona, this was, to a certain extent, an attention-seeking stunt. Why, then, was this story met with abject silence?

See, #writing is slow enough that most of its users see everything that happens there. A lot of other stories got feedback of some kind. If you think I’m going somewhere with this, I’m not - I was genuinely quite perplexed by this response, and still am. Oh well. The three winning entries all turned out to be genuinely better than my own - which I was glad for, because the thought of this piece o’ shit being the best thing the Homestuck Discord could muster is pretty depressing.

Speaking of depressing, the second contest is in a very strange limbo at the moment, having received only a handful of entries and having provoked little to no discussion. I’ve been pretty busy working on other stuff, and wasn’t too fussed on the prompts, so I guess I’m at least partially to blame for that. Hopefully the channel will flourish a little more in the future...

If you enjoyed this story, you might enjoy the short stories I wrote for the r/WritingPrompts subreddit a couple of years ago, which can be found under the header What Our Future Looks Like on the list of things I made. Some of them are pretty ropey, so read at your own risk! In terms of my longer works, I recommend checking out Retrace Steps.

See you space cowboy...

[bwicblog]

WEEKLY RP PROMPT 2

It's summer, and that means blockbuster season has officially hit! The latest in troll Star Wars (The Second in the Trilogy of the Story In Which A Young Troll Fights a False Empire to Restore The Old Republic) now has a date. The sequel to the prize-winning Aquatic Horrorterrors Ascend to Consume the Planet and are Valiantly Fought by Mechanical Hoofbeasts has just been released. The Fleetside Entertainer’s Guild is hard at work to entertain the masses, but there's been an error this half-sweep. The latest piece of not one, but two major rainbow-drinker franchises have just been released, and the planet is going absolutely mad.

Every theatre, minor and major, is featuring JOURNALS OF AN IMMORTAL ANCESTRAL RAINBOWDRINKER, or the latest TROLL TWILIGHT. Every news network is covering them. Social media is filled with brawls between TEAM LESTAT and TEAM EDWARD, and worse yet, every FLARPing convention is suffering from a sudden surplus of players sporting fake fangs and jade. Have your trolls been caught up in the chaos? Do they have opinions, or are they just waiting for the madness to end?

 ID: quick someone fill me in on what a lestat is.

SA: a character of significant rainbow drinker fiction.

ID: and why people are fucking fighting over it- oh.

SA: hadean did you know google can be your friend too.

SA: because it can.

SA: just as it is my friend.

SA: ��

ID: pris i could smack your smartmouth off of you sometimes. =:P

WC: ~(He's a drinker who's not quite up to the times) WC: ~(Really quite handsome~!)

ID: it's called starting a conversation.

SA: ❤

SA: Oh, do you read the series, WC?

WC: ~(And then Edward is uh) WC: ~(Creepy ^^)

ID: is edward his mate or.

ID: his kismesis maybe?

WC: ~(I've seen the movies, but I don't have much time to read I'm afraid ono)

WC: ~(No, Edward is a different series entirely)

ID: how many rainbowdrinker series do we need. =:I

WC: ~(Though the author of Lestat's saga keeps having people culled for writing stories about it)

SA: until everyone has their unsettling fly by night romances fulfilled.

ID: hahahah woowwww.

SA: that's horrific.

WC: ~(Come to think of it I think she may have also joined the church........)

WC: ~(A sad end to a good looking drinker story (─n─) )

SA: they... joined the church...

WC: ~(Uh huh)

WC: ~(It was weird)

ID: figures.

ID: you'd think rainbowdrinkers would be considered overplayed by now.

WC: ~(And then the Edward series author is also kind of insane) WC: ~(But at least she doesn't cull people for fanfiction)

SA: Didn't her series inspire 50 shades.

WC: ~(Surprisingly they're not) WC: ~(But then again, they DO tend to be kind of pretty)

WC: ~(WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT)

SA: oh.

SA: okay.

WC: ~(>-< !!!!!!!)

ID: i mean. they're not all pretty.

SA: i see it is a source of agony for you. Ia pologize.

ID: some of them look like. nosferatu.

WC: ~(Have you ever seen a drinker in a movie that wasn't super hot) WC: ~(People are very biased towards the pretty)

WC: ~(Well, more recent movies) WC: ~(They used to be quite a bit scarier looking!)

ID: i think the older movies depicted them more accurately.

WC: ~(Then everyone wanted the dark and brooding trolls apparently)

WC: ~(Troll Edward also watches people while they sleep) WC: ~(Ugh)

WC: ~(I'd beat someone with a wrench for that.......)

SA: Oh like me.

ID: that's fucking sketchy as fuck.

ID: ...

SA: I assocate with this character already.

SA: I am joking

ID: pris.

SA: it is a joke.

WC: ~(Are you going to watch me while I sleep SA)

ID: oh.

ID: you're a hard one to read sometimes pris.

SA: But not always, and that's just enough for me to not be immensely unsettling 24/7.

SA: No, I will not watch you sleep, WC.

WC: ~(Well, I'll just inform ID we have company then ~u^)

WC: ~(Uh) WC: ~(The not Hadean ID) WC: ~(Man that's still so weird)

ID: ahahah i guess i fit in even wearing em's shirt now. everyone is wearing jade it seems like.

ID: yeah, well. i'm not changing my tag. =:P

WC: ~(Oh, please don't! It's quite nice!)

WC: ~(It just feels weird because ID hates being called by his name so he's just ID)

SA: what a strange thing to be bothered by.

SA: 😦

ID: oh. well, my name rocks so. call me by it all you want.

WC: ~(It just takes some getting used to)

SA: yes. if you want bonus points, make sure you call him professor hadeon.

WC: ~(Your name does rock, I agree)

WC: ~(Professor?)

SA: much like gliese is the dean of clown university.

WC: ~(Oh my god what)

ID: hahahah here we go.

SA: I have orange juice and i have never been better right now.

WC: ~(Is it orange juice or orange faygo)

SA: it's orange juice because faygo is for plebians.

WC: ~(Because you're sounding like quite the mirthful posterchild)

SA: a yellowblood associating with the cult would be a deathwish.

WC: ~(Faygo is for plebians) WC: ~(I think we're going to get along well ^^)

ID: faygo tastes like plastic and regrets so.

SA: fanta is much better.

WC: ~(It tastes like pure sugar)

WC: ~(Now Tab on the other hand)

ID: the fuck is a fanta.

WC: ~(I take it you haven't seen the commercials)

ID: i don't watch stuff.

SA: They are very catchy.

SA: isn't tab just a knockoff.

WC: ~ (https://youtu.be/F614uU3DsqM?t=14s)

WC: ~(For some reason I could only find one in a different language?)

SA: las fantas son muy divertida.

ID: so that's why you like fanta, huh pris? =:P

SA: No, that's not at all why I like fanta.

WC: ~(Hehe if you say so!) WC: ~(I don't speak whatever language that is I'm afraid)

WC: ~(Fanta is alright, but it's a bit too fruity for me)

SA: strawberry is the best.

SA: also why did you say it like that, Hadean...

ID: it was a joke pris.

SA: are you implying i am attracted to lowbloods in skanty clothes singing about sugary drinks.

SA: if so the answer is yes.

WC: ~(Oh my!)

SA: (the answer is actually no)

WC: ~(Scandalous!)

ID: pffttt.

ID: i don't drink soda. i just drink water.

SA: You could be a fanta singer in your renfaire outfit.

SA: Nothing else? just water?

WC: ~(I did see chainmail bikinis there) WC ~(So anything is possible!)

WC: ~(Chainmail bikinis.......why.........)

ID: ah yes. my dreams of being a face for a soda company will come true.

ID: i mean. water is free.

ID: and i have yet to find a soda river to drink out of.

SA: you can't just... drink river water.

SA: it could have the ecol.i s.

ID: look at me. drinking river water.

ID: and rain barrel water.

SA: I am going to strangle you.

ID: and sometimes puddles.

SA: oh, chainmail bikinis. My favorite is the leia outfit. I see that a lot at inappropriate times.

WC: ~(I wonder what the blueprints for a homebrew water purifier would look like)

WC: ~(Hmmmm)

SA: Hadean >:'(

WC: ~(Well I know what I'm doing tonight, thanks for the idea~)

ID: anytime i guess.

SA: they make tabs for it, too.

ID: when you're thirsty water is water pris.

ID: bugs in it is just. extra protein. =:P

ID: and dirt is minerals!

WC: ~(I suppose there's worse things in the world than dirty water)

WC: ~(Where do you live?)

ID: i travel. so. everywhere.

WC: ~(Oooh exciting!)

WC: ~(I travel too! But not very often. I'm busy a lot!)

WC: ~(What's your favorite place you've been so far?)

ID: uhhh. found a really pretty waterfall once. looked like it came out of a fucking painting. spent a while there, plenty of stuff to eat around there. that was probably my favorite. nice and empty.

WC: ~(Oh that sounds wonderful) WC: ~(Where was it?)

ID: i don't really do maps. so.... way far east.

SA: what is it you do, WC? SA: do you have any photos, Hadean/

WC: ~(Hmmmm) WC: ~(Time to do some exploring next time I'm out there!)

WC: ~(I work with machines)

ID: i dunno, i'd have to look around and get back to you pris. what sort of machines?

WC: ~(Building, blueprints, parts transfer) WC: ~(All that good stuff)

WC: ~(Anything, really. But my pride and joy is my ship. I built it with my own two hands)

SA: A ship?

SA: as in, for water or air or space.

WC: ~(Yep! It runs on steam with a power core backup)

WC: ~(The air)

SA: hmm.

ID: neat.

ID: as long as ti never crashes i mean.

WC: ~(I'd need a lot more material for a spaceship) WC: ~(Plus, there's the issue of working on the oxygen systems) WC: ~(I haven't figured that one out yet)

WC: ~(It's never crashed yet!)

WC: ~(That's how I get from place to place when I'm going far away)

ID: i see. i usually just ride my lusus.

WC: ~(Mine is a bit too ornery to be ridden. She'll throw you right off if she feels like it.) WC: ~(What is your lusus?)

ID: big horned hoofbeast.

WC: ~(!!!)

WC: ~(Cute!)

WC: ~( (˙❀‿❀˙))

ID: he's pretty cute, yeah.

WC: ~(Does he ever do that thing) WC: ~(Where he bumps you with his nose)

SA: do.. domestic animals do that/

WC: ~(Sure!)

WC: ~(All the time!)

WC: ~(It's how they get attention)

ID: when he wants me to scratch him or shit, yeah.

ID: or he'll just rub his head on me.

WC: ~(That's precious and I love your lusus)

WC: ~(SA, are you not around domestic animals often? :( )

SA: Oh, cats sometimes rub their heads on ankles.

SA: No, not really.

WC: ~(My Paintball does that all the time) WC: ~(He'll just rub my legs and sometimes try to trip me) WC: ~(He's adorable)

SA: I want to meet... your lusus, Hadean. Horned hoofbeast is not specific enough.

SA: I wish I could have a cat, but unfortunately.

SA: Is paintball a cat?

WC: ~(Yep~)

ID: well come by and you can meet him. bring him an apple and he'll be your friend forever.

WC: ~(ID and my other friend were covered in paint when they brought him in) WC: ~(And they had apparently been involved in a paintball war and got him out of a tree) WC: ~(So they say ;P) WC: ~(And now he's mine and I love him)

WC: ~(I can send you pictures of mine if you'd like SA)

SA: Oh, right, I'm on my way to pick up your flowers again.

SA: Please do.

SA: I love cats.

ID: sweet. do i get sushi too.

WC: ~(https://gyazo.com/e8c8dd919483d303548908110ca0d8d9)

WC: ~(Lookit!)

SA: I need six.

SA: yes, i will bring you a sushi plate.

WC: ~(If I see any kitten adoption boxes, I'll tell you!)

SA: thank you.

RS: | Oh | Are You Delivering Sushi | ? | =:P |

SA: to Hadean, yes.

SA: Oh, i left his bouqet on your patio. I apologize.

ID: i'm probably gonna clear out of this hotel room soon pris, so. we can meet up somewhere.

RS: | Oh | That's Fine | I Saw | and Put It In Water | So | RS: | They should be Healthy Enough |

SA: thank you, Pheres.

SA: Where will we meet?

ID: where ever you want pris, name the place and i'll probably find it.

SA: mmm...

SA: Let's meet near the blue section of the fair. There is lemonade I would like to try before I go.

SA: I will see you soon then?

ID: got it, lemonade at the blue circle. try not to fall asleep. =:P

SA: I am wide awake for once, thankfully.

SA: ! here is my daily exclaimation point to prove it.

ID: well damn, can't argue that logic.

ID: sushi is weird. edible, but weird.

SA: it helps if you put soy sauce on the one with just salmon and rice.

SA: hello I'm back at my hotel

DD: wait are you putting soy sauce on sushi or just rice salmon DD: because i love sushi but ive never really had a chance to try it above water and its a little hard to find it around here now that im in the desert! DD: and i guess before i mostly ate it underwater and you can imagine how trying to put a liquid condiment on anything works in that context!

DD: besides soy sauce is salty and the ocean is already all about that

ID: ....uh yeah it's sushi. why are you in the desert. that seems like the worst place for a fish.

SA: sashimi, I believe. I'm sorry you aren't able to get it where you are. Maybe if you find a city?

ID: what the fuck is sashimi.

SA: soy sauce has flabor

RS: | Fish | ! |

DD: im in a city! DD: or i guess its more like a town because i guess its pretty quaint DD: im not sure how big cities have to be but there arent even any sky scrapers here!

RS: | | I Assume | ? | =:? |

SA: no, I'm stupid. It's nigiri 🍣

DD: and the ocean has flavor too but i guess the flavor is mostly called fish excrement which sounds a lot less appealing than soy sauce

ID: what the fuck is a nigiri.

DD: though i guess i dont know what soy sauce is made of either

SA: 🍣 the little fish slices with rice on the platter I brought you

ID: ...hah. soy sauce is made out of. soy?

DD: thats called nigiri yes!

DD: soy what though?? DD: like those little cubes of fake meat i heard those are soy too

SA: a big city would be much better for fish, yes. You should try to find a port. That would be the best place.

DD: though i dont see why you would want fake meat when you can just have some nice fish

ID: so they. all have their own name? that seems confusing.

DD: i thought i was going to be in a port!!! DD: its CALLED port mina

SA: yes. Sashimi is just fish. Fresh. Nigiri is fresh fish sliced with rice.

DD: but its just desert everywhere!

ID: heyyy port port.

SA: sushi is. Sushi

SA; why do you keep calling it port port...

DD: and SA thats like saying sandwiches are sandwiches!

SA: that sounds. Horrid

DD: like sure theyre all sandwiches but its not like a fish salad sandwich is the same as a cheeseburger!

ID: mina means port or whatever.

ID: so the name means port port.

DD: wait really? DD: i thought it was like

DD: mina meenah condesce

ID: i don't know. i think i remembered right.

DD: and maybe they just didnt know how to spell

ID: i mean. why would you name a lowblood town after the condesce.

II: To honor her, presumably.

II: But perhaps it's just a coincidence.

DD: well its not really entirely a lowblood town! DD: i just met up with the nicest blueblood banker they complimented my bow! DD: and yes of course theres no need to restrict honoring our lovely sovereign to specific castes!

DD: regardless i will be one very happy travelor if i find myself some sushi as unlikely as that is! DD: i miss eel

DD: eel is the best

II: ...goodness, I just looked up that town, what on Alternia are you doing in the desert, sovereign?

DD: especially acid-fried

II: Are you lost?

ID: congrats you met the most boring of the three bluebloods there i think.

DD: ... do you think i could order some of that to go?

DD: do they deliver to deserts?

ID: assume probably not.

II: Haha! I don't think anyone delivers that far.

DD: and of course im not lost! DD: im on vacation exactly where i need to be! DD: a working vacation i guess haha because im still working but regardless its all very sanctioned and work-related

DD: just some company troubles is all

DD: and oh really?

DD: ... not even if you pay them a lot?

ID: ...what are you working on in a lowblood town.

DD: i gave myself cravings 😢

II: Oh, well. That makes sense. But it does seem potentially bad for your health.

II: I hope you don't dry out.

ID: and i mean. they can try but by the time they get to you it'd be gross probs.

DD: fancy, fancy things that i cant tell you about for reasons related to nondisclosure agreements and also the integrity of my company! DD: but mostly starship things

DD: theres a helmstraining facility out here!

DD: theyre very helpful in that regard

ID: yeahhh there sure is.

II: Oh, a helm facility? Fascinating.

SA: helmstraining facility... in port Mina.

SA: unpleasant.

II: Oh, I see now. Station 11, is that right?

DD: well no not strictly in the city but the city (town??) is the closest place to

DD: yes station 11!!!

RS: | Oh | Don't Say That | Haha | RS: | Ah | We've got People Who Work There on Here | RS: | They would be | Distressed |

DD: the closest place to station 11 with you know beds and showers and things like that

ID: don't fret about it pris.

ID: i think the station mostly keeps to itself.

DD: and oh dear why is that unpleasant? DD: much more pleasant than requiring the poor locals to travel all the way out to where *Ii usually live!!

SA: I'm not fretting but after what Gliese said about the area I am surprised there would be one there.

SA: I am only concerned about the imperial hunters.

SA: and they are preoccupied right now.

ID: it's why gliese is there pris. now hush up.

DD: um!

DD: the what now?

SA: 🤷‍♀️ nothing

II: Imperial hunters? What, like legislacerators?

DD: wow that is all very suspicious

ID: the folks he works for sometimes, chillax.

DD: but also in that kind of edgy way people our age use when they want to be cool

SA: I don't want to he cool, thank you.

DD: so i will go ahead and buy in and i assure you im very impressed!!

II: Oh, don't be unkind, DD.

II: I'd say we don't have enough information to assume that.

DD: im not being unkind! DD: ... a little bit too forward maybe! DD: my apologies i was being entirely sincere!

SA: 🙄

II: Conclusions without cause and all.

ID: pris finds stuff, it's his job.

II: I for one am intrigued.

DD: thats a very generalized job description? DD: what kinds of things do you find? DD: lost items? DD: items that are lost after you find them? DD: fears?

DD: i read the most interesting story once about a psionic

ID: whatever he gets paid to find, duh.

DD: her powers were that she could find anything! and of course the writer write the trickiest plot twist DD: she eventually defeated her greatest enemy by finding his greatest fear!

SA: people, usually.

II: ...That sounds more like an empath's ability.

DD: and oh alright thats sensical of course i was just trying to inject some DRAMA into it

SA: yes. Much more empathetic

DD: well she could find items too!

SA: empaths can also detect an emotion attached to an item

ID: op main character please nerf.

II: I don't think this person had much experience of actual psiionics, abilities don't often intersect like that.

SA: 🤷‍♀️ sounds op to me 😂

DD: well i suppose so DD: i believe the writer was jade DD: i dont suppose they get out much to see anybody when theyve got all those cavern duties and such!

DD: and what does that mean SA?

II: Overpowered.

DD: the emotions i mean!

ID: typical highbloods writing about junk they know nothing about.

ID: uh.

DD: er

II: Oh, I think SA is amused.

ID: team edward or team lestat.

DD: no i mean

DD: oh goodness this chat moves quickly

DD: what does it mean that items have emotions attached to them?

SA: yes. I'm amused.

DD: and also team edward

SA: lets go with that.

DD: definitely edward

II: ...what

DD: also also i dont think a jadeblood really qualifies for a highblood haha

II: What are we even talking about now

RS: | ! | ! | Why Edward | ? |

DD: theyre just barely halfway!

II: Who are these trolls

ID: i'm rust, everything is high. =:P

II: Lestat and Edward

ID: man ii, get with the movies.

II: I'm usually too busy to go to the cinema, alas.

DD: well hes so romantic isnt he rs??? DD: he goes so far to show his dedication to his matesprit and oh

DD: i would love to have a matesprit that loves me that much

DD: sigh

RS: | It is a Delightful Media Chain | II | ! | RS: | Or | Er | Two |

SA: watching them sleep?

DD: (i would also love to have some smoked eel but i suppose we cant always get what we want)

SA: who are we talking about.

RS: | And | Oh | Haha | RS: | Yes | He is Rather Romantic | But | RS: | Isn't Lestat Moreso | ? |

RS: | Consider | His Dedication | ! |

SA: I thought Lestat was an utter prick

DD: to protect them!! DD: and because he just cant keep himself away DD: he is enamored

II: ...that sounds frankly disturbing, is this movie supposed to be a PSA about what to avoid in quadrants?

SA: perhaps.

DD: what no of course not!!!

SA: have you heard of its sequel? Fifty shades?

SA: 😂

DD: have you never considered that a quadrant might need protection??

II: Oh, _that._ I only know it because the firm gossiped about it.

II: It sounds dreadful.

DD: and oh my goodness DD: somebody lent me that book once!

DD: i er

DD: did not expect it to be about that kind of thing!

II: Any quadrant of mine would be quite capable of protecting themselves, without me having to _stare_ at them during the day, goodness.

ID: 50 shades, some dumb little rust gets manipulated to fuck by a highblood. unhealthy as fuck from the reviews i'm reading.

II: Truly atrocious, I agree, ID.

DD: well im sure he wasnt just sitting there staring at them the whole time that sounds awfully boring

RS: | Oh | But | II | ! |

DD: thats not the way its meant to be read and really i think youre extrapolating an awful lot from that scene!

RS: | It's not about |- NEEDING -| to Watch Them throughout the Day |

RS: | It is a Testament to the Strength of His Pity | that He would Choose to Do So |

DD: its about the dedication it takes to

DD: yes!

DD: he loves them!

SA: we found someone more idealistic than me

RS: | It's Really Quite Romantic |

sA: I am so pleased

II: ...It sounds like a frank waste of time and like he doesn't trust them.

II: Which is incredibly troubling.

ID: seems fucking intrusive and creepy to me.

DD: really! DD: you lot are making an awful lot of assumptions about the nature of a relationship especially you II given you havent even read the novel!

RS: | Haha | Well | RS: | Passion often Does Seem Unsettling to the Less Romantic of Us | =:P |

II: At this point I don't think I need to.

II: I am quite romantic!

II: But I think I have rather...different ideals.

ID: i mean i guess, sure. =:P

DD: well i for one would love to have a matesprit that shows that sort of passion and dedication

II: To me, respecting my quadrants' privacy seems a lot more romantic.

SA:I find most of twilights actions to e infantilizing their lover

SA: they cannot possibly help themselves and so forth

RS: | Well | I Mean | RS: | Matespritship is All About Pity | In Reality | to Have Someone fully Manifest the Depths of Those Emotions might be a Bit Overwhelming | RS: | But | In a Story | There is Something Very Touching about the Idea that Someone would be so Over-whelmed by the Pitiableness of their Partner |

DD: have you ever read a pity romance novel sa???

RS: | That They would do Anything for Them |

DD: the point is the pity

RS: | Even Stay Awake all Day | to Watch Them While They Sleep | RS: | Or While They Work | RS: | Admittedly | The Watching Them while He was Meant to be Away was a Bit Excessive |

II: ...if they would do anything for them, why not _show_ them performing some daring act. It sounds like proposing that a law is sound because of its intensity, and not actually trying to prove it based on evidence of its effectiveness.

SA: pitying someone is different form thinking of them as an invalid

RS: | But | He was Feeling Lovelorn | Wasn't That Right | DD | ? |

DD: its not a reflection of the respective relationship members capabilities but rather the depths of the pity they feel for one another

RS: | Oh | He Does | ! |

DD: well they do that too ii!!

II: What happened to showing pity through gifts or affection. My goodness.

SA: if someone treated me that way I would remove them

DD: you all strike me as rather unromantic sorts i am afraid

II: Nonsense!

DD: aside from rs of course

SA: he constantly interferes in her business and then acts like she can't be helped when another individual "enters his turf"

II: On one of my dates, the lovely girl I was accompanied by presented me with a very charming wildlife specimen.

II: It was incredibly sweet!

RS: | Ah | But | Prisma | RS: | What Makes It so Romantic is the Fact She Regularly Offers up the Opportunity for Him to Do So |

RS: | It is a Reciprocated Pity |

DD: alternative interpretation! DD: he helps them when they are struggling and goes out of his way to prove his loyalty in the face of pushy competitors!

RS: | Otherwise | Why | It would Just be Alarming |

DD: and yes also what rs said!

II: But it was of her own volition and not some sort of...I don't even know what to call this, from what I hear about it, some sort of bizarrely compelled dysfunction?

DD: whatever do you mean??

SA: but she wanted nothing to do with him multiple times...

DD: of course the relationship was of both participatnts volitions DD: and sa really if somebody wants nothing to do with another person who is if you recall warning her away then would she really continue returning to him?

DD: this is what i mean by unromantic! DD: its as though you have never flirted before

II: ...this sounds like remarkably inconsistent behavior. Perhaps she is unwell.

DD: what??

DD: its playing hard to get

SA: it sounds like someone who has been entrapped and is completely dependent on their lover

II: That sounds ridiculous.

SA: due to abuse

DD: and showing that despite what you may say at times you are deeply invested in a relationship

DD: what

SA: 😡

II: If you want to be with someone, why would you dance around the issue?

DD: in what way is she entrapped and dependent???????????

II: And pretend otherwise?

DD: because you dont want to look desperate!!

II: It is not desperate to want to be with someone...?

SA: she told him to leave and he came back and got her repeatedly

SA: some people aren't playing hard to get they want to e left alone

II: Indeed, SA is right.

DD: yes and then he left and told her not to follow and she went after him anyways and its called being there for each other

SA: but hard to get is a convenient excuse to keep pursuing them beyond their comfort

II: ...that sounds like ignoring consent, to me.

DD: they save each other many times in this way!!

DD: and you still didnt answer about your entrapment comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SA: if a friend followed me when I told them not to follow I would be upset because it would have jeopardized them

RS: | Oh | Some People Are just Keen to be Left Alone | And That is an Important Thing to Know | But | RS: | You |- DON'T -| want to Look Desperate |

SA: and I clearly was handling it

RS: | That is a Valid Way to Feel | Prisma | But | Oh | Consider | If | Hmm |

II: Certainly, there are times when a moirail or ashen leaf might know better for their partners, but even then, such things ought to be discussed consensually.

RS: | | Someone Says Not to Follow Them | And Then | You Do Not | RS: | And You Discover They have been Greviously Injured | in a Way that Could've been Prevented If Only You had Followed Them |

RS: | Also | They Are Your Matesprit |

II: And particularly in a red(?) relationship, as I assume this to be, it is extremely uncouth to interfere with your partner so.

II: ...that is called life. You can't always be with your matesprit, that would make the relationship hugely uncomfortable. You have to trust them.

ID: okay from what i'm reading this edward is really possessive.

RS: | Mm | ! | But Wouldn't You Wonder | If They had been Saying Do Not Follow Them | RS: | Simply to Look More Pitiable to You | ? |

RS: | Flushed Romance is Mirror to Pale Romance |

RS: | And That is a Classic Trope |

DD: also additionally i think you are greatly overexaggerating her desire to be left alone! DD: she never tells him to leave multiple times she is like maybe kind of miffed one time and then is always very happy to have him present! DD: you are all talking so much about how clearly she wants to be left alone and hates him and are ignoring the fact that its written from her point of view when it is made very clear that she is deeply in love and adores having him around and thinks about him all the time

ID: does the bellae character have other quads?

RS: | She Eventually Becomes Pitch with the Dayshifter |

II: ...if someone told me to not follow them, I would assume they were thinking clearly and not like a cheaply written romance novel.

RS: | After a Long Period of Attempted Red Courtship | in Which She is Torn Between Him and Edward |

ID: and how does. edward react to the blossoming black relationship?

DD: yes except he followed her because his psionic clademember warned him she was in danger not beause he was just randomly following her!!!!

DD: and then he saved her life!!

DD: because he loves her!!

RS: | Oh | He doesn't Care | Why Would He | ? | It's not His Quadrant | RS: | I mean | Eventually | Jakobe does Become Matesprits with Her Descendent Instead | In an Unexpected Twist | RS: | And They are All Three Fully Aware This is what Will Happen |

DD: also for people that are very concerned with the potential lack of consent in this relationship you are doing an awful lot of ignoring of bellaes feelings and all the times she makes it very clear she loves and appreciates edward!

SA: no because I like to believe the people I surround myself with would be willing to tell me the truth of their situation and not trying to pity flirt with me

II: ...did she ASK the psiionic clademember to keep an eye on her.

RS: | So Being Jealous would be Silly |

ID: ...what.

RS: | II | You should Read the Book | ! |

RS: | The Books |

II: ...seconding the what.

RS: | Or | Well | No | That would Take Ages | And I Am Sure You are Very Busy |

RS: | Watch the Films | ! | =:B |

SA: what to what

II: I'm sorry, still a bit hung up over the _descendant_ part. Is Bellae rust?

ID: darn. my lack of speakers would make a movie hard. what a shame.

II: Otherwise how would she have had a descendant around so quickly...

ID: is she? man i'm sick of the simpering rust tropes.

RS: | Bellae is Jade | It is Hard to Realise at Some Points | Given That She Hates the Sunlight |

RS: | But That is How She is Able to be Turned into a Rainbowdrinker in the Last Book |

RS: | You can't Turn a Rust into a Drinker |

RS: | That would be Silly | =:B |

ID: haaah.

II: I didn't know that, Pheres.

II: But how ridiculous.

II: That sounds _full_ of plot holes, if nothing else.

DD: well thats an easy criticism to levy at any work of popular media and honestly at this point it feels like you are just attacking this particular work by making wild assumptions about how and why things in it happened without having read the book

DD: and its kind of hurtful!

DD: and i fell like ive gotten into a mess in terms of first impressions 😦

DD: i dont remember the last time ive felt this unfriendly!

SA: my head hurts.

DD: that is unfortunate have you considered taking any painkillers??

ID: go nap pris.

RS: | Oh | II | I am Afraid We are not Writers | =:( | RS: | So | Ah | It would be Better For You to See For Yourself |

RS: | Or | Read the Summaries Online | ! |

II: ...DD, how experienced are you with chatrooms?

RS: | It is Much Less Alarming than You are Reading It As |

DD: additionally i have heard that certain herbal sinus cleanses and some magnetic treatments work wonders

ID: if you need one. you're at the hotel and all.

DD: and i am not very experienced with chatroom unfortunately ii! DD: why????? that is a very foreboding statement!

II: Ah, well. This sort of thing isn't uncommon. You will often find people who disagree with you, I'm afraid. It isn't personal, usually.

SA: I have to get my things to the station

SA: no, I get headaches for other reasons, DD

SA: anyways

ID: yeah in chatrooms there's no consequences for speaking your mind so. get used to arguments dd.

II: I didn't mean any offense against you. I simply don't like the sound of these narratives.

DD: well then you should maybe read them like rs said i think you have gotten a very misrepresented idea of what the story actually entails!

DD: but oh my goodness im not sure if having bad relationships with people is necessarily the same thing as no consequences!

DD: i would much rather be on good terms with people DD: i suppose i just became quite flustered in this particular case because i have really admired the twilight series for quite a while

II: Bad relationships? I don't think any less of you.

DD: ive always thought it would be very nice to have a matesprit like edward!

II: You just like something different.

DD: and oh in that case i am very happy to hear that

SA: I do primarily because I don't like being called edgy and suspicious

SA: otherwise I don't care

ID: yeah arguments on the chatroom mean little if you don't let them.

DD: in my experience disagreement particularly of the degree of vehemence i achieved breeds dislike so i am glad it did not in this case DD: and in that case sa you have my sincerest apologies!!

DD: i did not mean to be hurtful and simply intended to make a friendly joke but i see now that it was ill aimed and i will refrain from calling you those things in the future!

II: Vehemence? I don't think anyone here felt truly vehement.

RS: | It could be Worse | DD | RS: | You could have Wished for a Matesprit like Jakobe | =:B |

DD: hahaha that is true!

ID: what's wrong with jakobe.

SA: thank you

ID: other than his. flushness for descendants?

DD: well for one thing his propensity for property destruction

DD: and that

DD: also that

DD: well

SA: so everything

DD: i mean it wasnt quite like that

SA: 😄

DD: but really he was being awfully pushy in light of bellaes clear dedication and love to edward!

DD: hes not a particularly awful sort but really he had no right to be placing bellae into that position

ID: i thought someone said she was undecided between them. or was that earlier.

RS: | He is a Skinshifter | Who Lives Out in the Woods | and was Especially Keen to Court Her Quadrant | RS: | Despite Her Clear Affection for Edward | I mean | It is Understandable | in a Certain Light | that She was Tempted Enough to be Curious | ? |

DD: especially while she was mourning the supposed death of her last quadrant!

DD: she was not thinking straight!!

ID: all i'm getting out of this is that this girl wanted to pail mythical creatures. =:I

RS: | Who wouldn't Be | ? | But It is Unkind to Encourage Someone to Pursue That Curiousity | ! |

RS: | Hahaha | Oh | Heavens |

RS: | This is a Perfectly Suitable Book for All Ages | RS: | There is No Fornication | Hadean |

ID: oh okay.

RS: | For Heaven's Sake | It is About |- ROMANCE -| =:P |

DD: well yes id that is part of the allure isnt it?? DD: though with um maybe less coarse language DD: they only kissed in the books!

DD: and yes they ARE romance novels

ID: hey.

ID: 50 shades is supposed to be about romance isn't it.

RS: | Hahaha |- NO -|

RS: | That is a Vicious Lie |

DD: i was under the impression it was meant to be about pailing!

RS: | Exactly | ! |

SA: kink 101 at clown university

II: ...I'm very glad - what

RS: | | | Um |

DD: at least DD: it was DD: after i realized what it was actually about

RS: | Oh My |

DD: 😦

II: I'm sorry, _what_ .

RS: | I would Like to Unenroll From that Class |

DD: um!!!

ID: pris i swear you need to stop bringing that up at the weirdest times.

SA: it applied to fifty shades

II: ...as an honorary church member I suddenly feel rather uncomfortable.

SA: believe me I pick and choose when I say it.

DD: is there a not weird time to bring up something like that???

RS: | I | I don't Think It Does | ? |

DD: because that just seems weird overall!!!

RS: | I do Wonder |

SA: the entirety of fifty shades is poorly constructed relationships around a poor execution of a fetish...

ID: ...ket's switch to the other drinker. lestat.

ID: he looks like a tool.

RS: | Oh | He doesn't | ! |

DD: im afraid i dont know about that one!

DD: oh!

DD: oh goodness

DD: no he looks really very dashing

DD: his hair is lovely ❤

ID: the google images all have him looking like he's trying too hard to seem mysterious and dashing.

RS has attached LESTATISNOBLE.jpeg to the chat!

RS: | Look at That |

RS: | He's not |- TRYING -|

DD: ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

ID: his nose is crooked.

DD: it adds character!

RS: | Yes | Isn't It Dashing | ? | It is a Careful Character Flaw | ! |

ID: oh okay so he wasn't recently hit in the face.

II: Mm. He is all right, I suppose.

RS: | It Shows He is Capable of Violence | Yet | Also Capable of Weakness | RS: | Of Being Made Vulnerable by a Greater Foe | ! |

RS: | Also Known As | Deeply Pitiable | =:P |

DD: +^+

ID: hahah he gets wrecked by the other rainbowdrinkers?

DD: oh dear! DD: im certain he doesnt but really even if he does DD: i would find tending to his wounds very agreeable ❤

ID: i like the other rainbowdrinker better of the two.

RS: | Haha | He Does gets Wrecked | If You would Like to Use those Terms | RS: | He is Almost Murdered by His Matesprit at One Point |

RS: | And Fights Frequently with the Rest |

RS: | But It is the Way of Rainbowdrinkers |

RS: | Unfortunately | ! |

ID: i mean if you say so, i bow to your mastery of rainbowdrinkers. =:P

RS: | Haha | I don't Know If I'd call It Mastery | RS: | I've only Ever Read Those Two Series | ! | RS: | Clearly | DD is the True Master of Rainbowdrinkers | Given His | Her | ? | Wide Range of Knowledge | =:B |

DD: !!!

DD: i mean!!

DD: i wouldnt say that DD: i am just very fond of romance novels haha

DD: and the supernatural ones are just

DD: they are even better!!

ID: why are they better?

DD: because they add twist to the dynamics! DD: they tend to be more tragic and dramatic and romantic

ID: i don't get the appeal of a quad that'll eat you.

II: I admit I feel similarly.

RS: | Well | How is a Quadrant Who Could Drink Your Blood | really Any Different from a Normal Quadrant | ? |

II: Ah, by _quite a lot?_

DD: well thats the point isnt it! DD: that they are so dedicated to you the thought would never cross their mind DD: or if it does it is an example of their great love for you that they dedicate their strength and fortitude towards overcoming such desires so that they might be with you because their love is so much more to them!

DD: and yes really its not as though the average troll could not simply kill you as well

II: I wouldn't want a potential quadrant to view me as a meal, thank you.

RS: | Anyone could Cull You | If You let Them in Near Enough | RS: | You just have to Ensure There is Enough Incentive Not To | RS: | Or Else | That They Care About You Sufficiently | that They would Never Dream of It | ! |

DD: and drink your blood i suppose if they were so inclined though i think that would be

DD: weird

RS: | And | Unhygeniec | =:) |

II: Just a _tad_.

ID: i mean most trolls don't have to cull to survive.

ID: like. literally survive off of eating trolls.

RS: | Yes | Most Trolls just Cull for Fun | which is Rather Worse | If You Ask Me |

II: I cull for my job! But usually I am culling trolls who are dangers to others, or who are causing different types of harm by going against Imperial law.

II: I would not cull wantonly; terrible discipline.

ID: that sounds... fun ii.

II: Well, I am a legislacerator!

II: It is my purpose.

ID: huh. neat.

DD: oh my goodness this conversation took a little bit of a dark turn DD: i apologize i was absent because i was looking for more pictures of lestat DD: i wish my hair was that long it looks looooovely DD: but unfortunately both my hair and my horns have recently found themselves quite short!! DD: im afraid my countenance will never recover DD: but! regardless! i do think i rather agree with rs!

II: A dark turn? Not really.

ID: long hair is the best hair, it's true.

II: Long hair is very lovely! I unfortunately would find it inconvenient, though.

II: Too potentially dangerous for my job.

DD: its also rather cumbersome underwater and our lovely sovereigns ability to manage such wondrous locks as hers is impressive as well as beautiful!

ID: braids help everything.

DD: unfortunately i have recently burned off the majority of mine and it is now styled into quite a short cut!

II: A braid is still an opportunity for an enemy to grab it, though, unfortunately, or for it to get caught.

ID: yeah, you gotta not have too sensitive a scalp. Also braid spikes.

II: Braid spikes?

ID: spikes you braid in to the hair.

II: How fascinating!

II: I have never seen such a thing.

II: It sounds potentially useful, but also possibly injurious to the user.

ID: i mean. i make mine with psi when i do it. but i'm sureee they exist in a metal form. maybe.

II: Hm!

II: Still an intriguing concept.

RS: | Oh | Yes | They Do | ! | I've Worn Those on Occasion | rs: | They're Woven into Your Hair | So | Ah | Only Hazardous if You have a Habit of Handling It | Haha |

II: I see!

ID: see, i knew i wasn't crazy.

II: I wouldn't think you were. You seem quite mentally sound.

ID: jury's still out on that one. =:P

II: Haha, well, surely it isn't my place to judge.

II: Perhaps someone who knows you better could give sufficient testament.

ID: uhhh...

SA: oh is no one going to say anything

ID: my sanity is just that inspiring pris.

SA: if only