#and just. there is a lot of stuff happening. life is very hectic right now ghg-

[logansbaby]

DARYL DIXON NSFW HEADCANONS

enjoy this <3 just a little something until i can get the next chapter of timeless out and a oneshot! hopefully stuff will be out this week but please bare with me, life has been hectic <3 it’s definitely all over the place but anyways ily all so much and thank you so much for 300 followers!

warnings: MDNI (18+ CONTENT) sexual content

— ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆ a quick summary: daryl dixon fucks

➳❥ to start, he loves making out. like straight up filth, no pretenses or anything. he likes it dirty and if he can get you off like that, he will. his favorite thing is to have you on his lap, a whimpery little mess, lips slick with his spit, with his hands gripping your hips and forcing you to hump him.

➳❥ there’s not a lot of time to be intimate and sometimes he just gets so worked up, even in the most inconvenient situations, that he’ll steal you away and get you off. whether it’s on a run and he’s fingers deep inside your cunt, swallowing your sweet noises or eating you out against the bathroom counter at one of alexandria’s parties, he’s always gonna have his way with you.

➳❥ obviously, it being the end of the world means that anyone can lose anyone at any given moment. that being said, his favorite position is missionary. he loves seeing your face and he wants to memorize every single expression, every little freckle and moan, so he can store it away for safe keeping.

➳❥ if he gets separated from you on a run, whether that be from enemies or walkers, he’ll fight like hell to find you and when he does, he fucks your brains out, no matter where you are. he gets so possessive and the need to be close to you consumes him until he’s sinking inside you.

➳❥ if you start acting bratty on a run and stop listening to his suggestions, he gets pissed, especially if it ends up with you almost dying from stubbornness. right when you get home, he lets you have it. he spanks you because why would you put yourself in danger? then, once you’re all teary eyed and flushed in the face, he fucks you silly. he doesn’t let you come, though. at least, not until he’s sure you’ve learned your lesson and he’s fucked the brattiness out of you, grunting out ‘done bein’ such a fuckin’ brat, sunshine?’

➳❥ don’t get it twisted, though. while he can be dominant, he loves it when you take charge. he loses his shit when you ride him because you’ll hold his hands down and even though you both know he could overthrow you, he lets it happen because it makes him come that much faster.

➳❥ one of his favorite things is rough sex, but he also loves when it’s slower, more passionate. sometimes he needs to show you how much he loves you with not only his words, but slow, deep thrusts and his fingers against your clit.

➳❥ he loves blow jobs. it’s like the minute your mouth gets on him, he blacks out. when you deepthroat him, that’s when he’s truly vocal. he’ll grab your hair and let out animalistic grunts as he starts to fuck your face. it’s not often you get to give him one, but when it happens, he makes sure to bask in it.

➳❥ he loves marking, too. whether that be you wearing his clothes and the bracelet he made you or leaving your neck surface covered in purple bruises and come on your face and tits, he fuckin’ loves it. even though it’s pretty clear you’re his and he’s yours, some assholes still hit on you. so, when you show up for a shift with a neck full of hickies and some of the dickheads that flirted with you see it, it makes something feral go off inside him.

☾ ﾟ｡⋆ — now for some mechanic!daryl <3

❥ mechanic!daryl who’s grumpy and hates the world until it comes to you. even if it’s still the world before, he’s not very good at talking about his feelings, so he shows you instead.

❥ he treats you like a princess in public, but once you’re alone, he treats you like a fuckin’ slut.

❥ it’s like the minute you’re away from prying eyes, he has to fuck you. he has to get you off and whining his name or else he’ll burst from how he feels about you.

❥ when you first got together, he’d always be covered in grease and sweat from a long day at the garage. he assumed you’d be repulsed but learned very quickly it was the oppposite. him being dirty made you a whiny, loud mess and at the sight of your wet cunt taking him in with ease, moans pouring from your swollen lips, he decided then and there to keep it up. and if he purposely got messy at work, then no one had to know.

❥ his favorite position is doggy, hands down. he loves the way he can see your ass jiggle each time he enters you, loves the way your pussy swallows him up from the angle. he loves fucking you from behind too because then he wraps your hair in a makeshift ponytail and pulls. he pulls your hair so hard he uses it to fuck you back into his thrusts.

❥ creampies are an absolute must for him. the idea of you being filled to the brim with him makes shivers run down his spine. a more animalistic part of him likes the idea of you walking around town with panties soaked with him. he loves to just fuck you full until he’s spilling out of you and dripping down your thighs.

❥ one of his favorite things to do is to finger your, no matter where you are and who’s around. he has no shame in saying he’ll steal you away from your friends and shove his fingers inside your cunt until it’s all weepy and convulsing around him. the wet sounds of your pussy make him lose it, so much so he’ll definitely stuff your mouth with his dick next.

❥ he’ll fuck you on his bike, 100%. the sight of you on the motorcycle already has him hard in his pants, so when he has you straddling him and his dick is inside you, with the engine still on, and the noises you make unlike anything he’s heard before, he makes it a regular thing.

❥ he loses it when you make out, especially if it’s a messy one. the idea of your lips being swollen and wet with his spit makes him feral, and if he can, he’ll absolutely spit in your mouth.

❥ above all, though, whether it’s twdverse daryl or not, he’ll fuck your brains out.

[katsu28]

christmas tree miracle

pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

summary: when running horribly late on finding a christmas tree actually turns out to be one of the best decisions of your life

warnings: light swearing

a/n: taking a tiny break from writing 1k celebration things for some holiday fluff, but i'll be back on it soon!! come join kait's sweetest celebration if you'd like! <3

navigation + taglist

(gif found on pinterest)

Things were not going well. With the hectic nature of the holiday season taking over your whole life this time of year, you’d forgotten that you were in charge of securing a Christmas tree for your family.

It was now t-minus five days until Christmas, and you had yet to find a fir tree anywhere in the Outer Banks, which is how you ended up at at a smaller, more mom and pop farm called Woodards over on the south side of the island, praying for a goddamn Christmas miracle that would somehow get you the perfect tree.

But much to your dismay so far, no luck. The tiny lot was near void of trees, save for a few pathetic wilted ones over by the metal fence that definitely wouldn’t bode well if you brought any of them home.

You sighed heavily, shoulders slumping as you dragged a heavy hand down your face at the disaster you’d created for yourself. Christmas was your family’s favorite time of year, and you’d fucked everything up before the day had even come.

How were you supposed to go home and tell them that their favorite holiday tradition wasn’t happening this year, all because you’d gotten a little busier than normal?

“Hey,” A voice called from a little ways away, drawing your attention to the owner of said voice, a boy around your age, broad shoulders in a thick, worn looking grey jacket and blond curls poking out from under a red baseball cap that he tugged down tighter on his head as he peered over at you curiously. “You okay?”

You straightened up instantly, and you sniffed, trying to gain back your composure so you wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself in front of this stranger. This very cute stranger.

“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m just, erm—trying to find a Christmas tree,” You sighed, gesticulating vaguely.

“Well, this is a Christmas tree farm, so you’ve definitely come to the right place.” He replied, lips quirking up into an amused smile. “Though you’re comin’ in a little late in the game, I’d say. You can probably see that we don’t have much of…anything, really.”

“‘S on me, I totally forgot I was supposed to get it this year.”

“Busy holidays?”

“That’s putting it simply. Feels like it’s coming a lot faster than usual.” You chuckled humorlessly, dragging a tired hand down your face. The boy nodded knowingly, rocking on the balls of his feet. “Any chance you’ve magically got any good trees somewhere around here?”

“I think I might be able to help you out.” He hummed, making a dramatic show of scanning his surroundings before crooking a finger at you to follow him. You fell into step with him as he navigated his way across the farm deftly, your steps a little less sure. What did your parents always tell you about going to a secondary location with a stranger?

The boy could definitely tell you were on edge, because he snorted, an amused smile stretching his lips. “Relax, I’m not gonna do whatever you’re thinkin’. We keep some trees over behind the main tent—the not quite perfect but still pretty good ones, just for poor old saps like you.”

“Oh, he’s funny too!” You rolled your eyes playfully, which made him smile even bigger.

��I try my best. I’m JJ, by the way. Christmas tree extraordinaire.”

“Y/N. Poor old sap.” That drew a laugh from him, and you felt a little bit proud of it. “So what made you wanna work on a Christmas tree farm?”

“Want? Nothing really, but I’ve known the Woodards since I was a kid so they usually hook me up with seasonal jobs. Lawn mowing in the spring, pool cleaning in the summer, that kinda stuff.” He explained, a fond smile creeping over his face. “Plus, Mrs. Woodard makes the best snickerdoodles ‘round this time of year. I swear I could never eat anything other than those cookies for the rest of my life and die happy.”

“They seem really nice.”

“They’re good people. Some of the nicest you’ll ever meet.”

“And they’ve got good taste in employees too. Are all your coworkers this charming?”

“Oh, stop it,” JJ brushed you off unconvincingly, holding a hand over his heart. “You’re making me blush!”

“It’s true! If all Christmas tree salesmen were as good as you, we’d have an even bigger tree shortage!” You laughed. It was weird how you could feel this at ease with someone you’d met not even twenty minutes ago, but here you were, flirting up a storm with JJ. It didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward at all, it felt…natural. Easy. Like you’d known each other for a lot longer.

“You’re just gunning for my cookies, aren’t you?” He teased, nudging your arm with a pointy elbow. You feigned surprise, shrugging innocently. “There might be some on the counter by the cash register later, you can probably snag a few if I’m feeling generous.”

“How kind of you!” Your conversation with JJ was cut short by your arrival at wherever he’d taken you, the sizable amount of pretty decent looking fir trees standing propped up against the fence proving a worthy distraction. “Oh wow, these are beautiful!”

“Feel free to look a little closer if you want, I’ll, uh, start getting some rope ready for you.” JJ set off almost instantly, leaving you studying the trees intently for the perfect one.

You’d only just found one when he reappeared, this time with a bundle of thin rope over his shoulder and some plastic netting, tossing the two on the ground next to the tree you were eyeballing once he was close enough.

“Oh, this one’s a nice one,” He noted, running a hand along the bristly branches. “You’ve got good taste.” You just grinned at him, happy that you were actually getting a tree after all. “I’ll get it tied up and ready to go then!”

JJ made quick work of packing up the giant tree, maneuvering it easily like he’d done it a thousand times before—which, judging by the lack of trees around, he probably had. Within no time, he’d looped the rope around the stump, slinging the whole thing over his shoulder and setting off towards the main tent with you in tow, without so much as breaking a sweat. It was probably one of the hottest things you’d ever seen.

“I can’t thank you enough for this, JJ, seriously,” You breathed, digging in your bag for your wallet. JJ leaned the tree against the fence next to the tent, brushing his hands off on his jeans as he made his way behind the counter.

He punched a few buttons on the ancient looking register, shrugging casually. “‘S what I’m here for. Glad I could help.”

“You’re literally the best. What do I owe you?”

“Normally, I’d hike up the price on this beaut for such a last minute score, but luckily for you, there’s a discount today,” He said proudly, grinning a wide, troublemaker smile. “I like to call it my ‘saving a pretty girl from more holiday distress’ discount.”

Your brows flew up at the boldness in his words, but you found yourself smiling. JJ the cute Christmas tree boy had game. “Oh? So how much do I owe you now?”

“Eh, sixty bucks.” JJ replied. Your brows furrowed at the low price. For a tree like this, which was actually pretty nice, you would’ve thought it would cost you an arm and a leg. “And a date.” He added hastily, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“A date.” You echoed, tilting your head thoughtfully, like you were pondering it. Truth be told, you weren’t actually thinking about turning him down at all. In fact, you had also been grappling with asking him out in the duration that you’d gotten to know him.

“Yeah. Coffee, movie, walk around town—I don’t mind. I just…I’d really like to see you again, Y/N.” JJ looked almost nervous now, lips pressing together into a sheepish grin.

“I’d really like to see you again too, JJ.” You meant it. There was just something about him that made you want to know more. You passed him the money you owed him for the tree, which he secured in the register drawer before nodding curtly.

“Here, lemme walk you to your car,” He insisted, shouldering the tree once again with minimal effort. The walk to your car was shorter than you would’ve liked, but alas, here you were. JJ stared up at the roof of your car, propping his hands on his hips with a furrowed brow. “I can get this up there in no time. Light work.” He flipped his hat backwards over his blond locks, pulling a pair of work gloves out of his jacket pocket and sliding them on.

He’d shucked his layers off until he was just in a t-shirt that gave you full view of his biceps, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying the sight of him and those biceps hefting the large tree on top of your car. And he was right, he really did get the tree secured to the top of your car in no time, and soon enough he’d opened your door for you, helping you climb in.

Shutting your door carefully, JJ leaned into your open window, braced elbows and open palm holding up his chin as he watched you throw your bag onto the passenger seat. “I’ll see you around?” He asked, cheeks flushing pink in boyish hope. “Soon, maybe?”

“How’s next Friday sound? Lunch at noon?” You offered, tilting your head at him.

JJ beamed at you happily. “Sounds perfect. Text me when you get home, yeah? Gotta make sure that tree survives the journey.”

Your cheeks warmed at the care in his words, even though he tried to disguise it with teasing. “I will.”

“Good.” He murmured, looking like he wanted to say something, but deciding against it. “I’ll see you Friday.”

“See you Friday,” You echoed, smiling warmly at him. “And thank you again, JJ. I mean it. You’ve literally just saved my Christmas.”

“Saving poor old saps is my favorite part of the holiday season.” He teased, winking at you.

“Poor old saps like me?”

“No…nothing like you. You’re way better.”

Feeling emboldened by the wistful look on his face, you leaned out, fingers angling his jaw to the side and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Bye, JJ.”

“Bye.” He sighed, pushing off from the window with his cheeks now a pleased pink. “Drive safe.” You waved at him once more before starting your car, watching him get smaller and smaller in your rearview mirror as you drove away.

Staying true to your word, you texted him the minute after you pulled into your driveway.

Y/N: miracle tree has officially made it home.

A reply came in almost immediately—a selfie of JJ, mid-munch on a cookie, squinting happily at the camera.

JJ: glad to see it. u just missed a fresh batch of snickerdoodles. sucks to suck, doesn’t it 😉

Y/N: you better bring some on friday then

JJ: of course i will. but i gotta tell u now, they come at a price

Y/N: and what would that be?

JJ: one tin of cookies for another date

You hadn’t even gone on your first date, and here he was bartering for a second. He was bold, and you liked it.

Y/N: deal <3

taglist!

@milkiane @moralina @scenesofobx @tenaciousperfectionunknown @strawberryforks @vesperluvsbillie @like-gabriel-and-castiel @fearthewalkingbitch @eichenhouseproperty @dpaccione @directioner5life @liltimmyst @lilygreennn @sunkissedsteve @mrstealuregirl @izzymaybank @bubsonnobx @laylasbunbunny @cityofidek

[dirtyvirgotarot]

THE WEEK AHEAD - 7/2/23 PICK-A-CARD READING!

Ice cream!! To me, it's always time for ice cream, but this week I felt particularly hungry for it! Pick a delicious, melty pile, and you'll get a week ahead reading with an Ice Cream oracle card as well as tarot! Grab a bowl of indulgence and enjoy the reading!! ~~~~~~~~ Pile 1 (Vanilla with Chocolate Drizzle): The Scoop: COOKIES AND CREAM - guilty pleasures/indulgence/temptation Your Tarot: 2 of Swords RX, 9 of Swords, 10 of Cups You may have recently given in or are thinking of giving in and finally cutting a toxic person out of your life. It might cause you some anxiety, but you're being told that it's okay! It's worth it to do, even if it might make you nervous. You will see that it'll be no big deal and that no harm will come to you, and you'll suddenly feel the emotional relief and happiness from not having to deal with this individual anymore. To help distract from anxiety this week, indulge in your free time! Dive deep into your hobbies, get yourself a nice treat to eat over the weekend, or play a nice, relaxing video game! Things are gonna be okay this week, even if it seems scary at times. ✂️🙅😣😯😄🍦 ~~~~~~~~ Pile 2 (Strawberry): The Scoop: ROCKY ROAD - adventure/preparation/challenge Your Tarot: 7 of Pentacles, Page of Cups, The World RX I feel like there will be a lot of new starts for you this week! You planted the seeds both financially and emotionally last week, and now you're seeing returns this week. Now is the time to make moves, get risky, and challenge yourself! Work a bit of overtime to make that paycheck bigger, send that text to your crush and see what happens! It's a bit of a fuck around and find out week for you. What goes around comes around, so just make sure you aren't putting anything negative out there this week, or pushing yourself too hard. Fucking around and finding out is fun, but it might not have the results you'd like if you push things! 👀😏😉🫰💞✅ ~~~~~~~~ Pile 3 (Mint Chocolate Chip): The Scoop: ORANGE - enthusiasm/confidence/courage Your Tarot: Temperance RX, The Hierophant, 3 of Pentacles Collaboration, fixing things and getting stuff done is a main highlight of your week! Whether it be at home or at work, things are going to be pretty crazy this week! Busy and hectic. Don't fear, however! You won't be alone. Seek out help if you need it this week to tame the mess, and to balance things back out again. Now is the time to believe in yourself, and show courage in the face of chaos. I feel like this is going to be physical help, too, like with cleaning or paperwork or something similar. Have a friend or two come over and help you out over some music and a pizza. A few of you may be moving. You are on the right path, guarantied. Take care of yourself, you GOT this!!! ⚡💪📦✅👌🎉 ~~~~~~~~~ Pile 4 (Ube Coconut): The Scoop: CHOCOLATE - purpose/depth/roots Your Tarot: 9 of Pentacles RX, 4 of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles This week feels significant for most of you. You may go to a family reunion or a similar gathering, and reminisce on pictures, or the past successes of your family before you. I feel a spark of inspiration and motivation from an important figure to you will come this week, family or not. Something will touch your heart, and maybe even move you to tears! It will stick with you all week. You may be called to start a new hobby or job, or at the very least start looking into it. Lots of happiness and tears, for some of you even some bittersweet feelings, but all very positive nonetheless! A spark of newness that may lead to your true path, success! 🥲💓🌄🙂💪✨ ~~~~~~~~ General Afterthoughts and Notes for All Piles:

LOTS of mention about self-care and not overdoing it this week! Lots about overcoming challenges and anxiety, or feelings of bittersweetness! The theme this week for all piles is 'looking ahead'! I wish everyone the absolute best of luck this week, I'm with you in soul and spirit!! 💪

If you can, eat the delicious ice cream flavor you got, either the pile you picked or the card you got! It might inspire those same feelings in you! 🍦 I hope these readings resonated, and if you want more, check out my Tumblr, and my Youtube page for more in-depth readings!! If it REALLY hit different for ya, here's the link to my Ko-Fi! You would be supporting a disabled, queer reader! Stay tuned for more delicious readings!!! :D Have a great week guys!!! -DV 💜💚

[life-of-an-asexual]

i need to confine in someone, and perhaps look for an answer. it would seem that you know your way around the ace stuff. i myself -not really, the whole lgbt community is very new to me, tho i find it comfy here. feel free to dispose of this message if you don't feel like answering it, i will understand. i see the phrase "sex repulsed" thrown around a lot. while it resonates with me, i'm not sure if for the right reasons. i'm not very fond of the act, it brings me only disgust and deep sorrow. i know it's not normal, since that act is crucial to the beautiful thing that is birth - something that brought about many great people, who brought about many great things. something that was crucial in starting my life. i know it's a sign that something might be a bit wrong with me, be it physically or mentally. it's something i still try to understand about myself. my partner treats it as very casual themselves, tho they do understand how i feel about it. we do it very occasionally, since i don't want to leave them like that, i feel like it's my duty to a degree. and i try to tolerate it, maybe grow to like it, but it's heartbreaking. i can't look at them afterwards, i'm appalled by the person i love doing something so brutish and animalistic. and last time i felt my vision turn black and my limbs went numb. it's been only going donwhill, and at this point i wonder if it may actually be my physical health playing tricks on me. i'm not sure. does it happen to other people? do those people describe themselves as asexual? regardless, thank you for reading it out, if you happen to. i appreciate it.

apologies for taking so long to answer. i moved earlier this month and so things have been very hectic for me, and i haven't had the mental acuity to formulate a proper response until now.

since there is a lot to unpack here, i'm going to try to take it one thing at a time:

i see the phrase "sex repulsed" thrown around a lot. while it resonates with me, i'm not sure if for the right reasons.

for the record, you don't need a "right" reason to be sex-repulsed. for some people it's just how we are, for some it was caused by trauma, and others may have their own reasons i'm not privy to. but it's just a word to describe what you feel, it doesn't need to be justified by the "right" kind of explanation.

i'm not very fond of the act, it brings me only disgust and deep sorrow. i know it's not normal, since that act is crucial to the beautiful thing that is birth - something that brought about many great people, who brought about many great things. something that was crucial in starting my life.

look, giving birth is just a thing humans can do. it's a pretty incredible thing, but it's not sacred. lots of species on earth do it. i don't think it's wrong to find beauty in it, but disliking something related to it isn't disrespectful. you can think birth is amazing and still not like sex for yourself; one has nothing to do with the other.

i know it's a sign that something might be a bit wrong with me, be it physically or mentally. it's something i still try to understand about myself.

again, for the record, there's nothing wrong with being sex-repulsed. lots of people are sex-repulsed, myself included. i've never had sex and i probably never will. i don't even masturbate. the idea of it makes my skin crawl. there are people who think i'm missing out, but i've lived 30 years like this, and i'm much happier being sexless than if i forced myself to do something that would cause me emotional anguish.

my partner treats it as very casual themselves, tho they do understand how i feel about it. we do it very occasionally, since i don't want to leave them like that, i feel like it's my duty to a degree.

a third time, for the record, IT IS NOT YOUR DUTY TO HAVE SEX FOR YOUR PARTNER. there is no "leaving them like that," it will not kill them to go without sex; they can masturbate if they need to get off so badly. it is not your responsibility. your partner's sexual desires are NEVER your responsibility, no matter the circumstances. even if you enthusiastically loved having sex, you would STILL never be obligated to have sex for your partner's sake.

and i try to tolerate it, maybe grow to like it,

i don't know how many times you've had sex, but at this point, i think if you haven't "grown to like it", you probably won't, and it's certainly not going to happen through FORCING yourself to do it.

but it's heartbreaking. i can't look at them afterwards. / and last time i felt my vision turn black and my limbs went numb. it's been only going donwhill, and at this point i wonder if it may actually be my physical health playing tricks on me.

to speak bluntly, this is not healthy. your physical health is not playing tricks on you. having physical reactions like that is indicative that mentally, you are undergoing something traumatic. i would STRONGLY recommend to stop having sex for the sake of your mental health. you are not doing yourself, or your partner, or your relationship, any favors by enduring this kind of suffering out of a sense of duty, i promise you.

(if your partner would be upset with that decision, i would recommend ending things with them. they would not be a safe person to be with even if you weren't sex-repulsed. and i know that sounds harsh, and it's a big decision, but i think you need to focus on yourself and your mental well-being right now.)

does it happen to other people? do those people describe themselves as asexual?

i think i can pretty confidently say that if i forced myself to have sex, i would have a very strong negative mental and emotional reaction to it, and i know there are others who feel similarly. some of these people are asexual (and some consider themselves asexual for this reason) and some aren't. sex-repulsion isn't something exclusive to asexuals.

if you have further questions, or require clarification about anything i've said, by all means, please ask.

~Mod Q

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 3

My pinky is numb and my head is buzzing but here it is, chapter 3 right from the Shallyne factory!

Words: 1.3k

June 29th

Okay, I wasn't right back. If I ever complained about a month being hectic, it doesn't have anything on this one!

Dad got arrested for money laundering and a billion other financial crimes the authorities find during their investigation, mom is in the hospital after a nervous breakdown and I had sex with Isaac Hale behind Crickets, the diner I'm working at. I know it's so insane that I had sex with Isaac behind a DINER! God, I'm not proud of it but he was nice and it benefited both of us.

The first half of the month I have been so frustrated. First the investigators on our doorstep, asking questions about dad and him getting arrested, which EVERYONE talked about on the last day of school before the summer holidays. Then I saw Rhys and some blonde girl from another class flirting in a parking lot. I think her name is Ianthe or something, I don't know. I wanted to rip her stupid blonde hair out but of course I didn't, Rhys and I are just friends. He doesn't feel the same way for me, I'm a hundred percent sure. He's just being nice to me, especially now with my situation at home.

The second half of the last month I spent trying not to think about dad being under investigation or Rhys at all and that's how it happened, Isaac Hale and me. He's nice enough and I won't delude myself he wants anything more than sex.

It's all going to be okay, right?

July 3rd

I don't think everything will be okay. Mom has to stay longer at the hospital than expected, Nesta, Elain and I survive on the last of our money and I don't know what to do.

I feel like I'm going insane, maybe I do. Sometimes I lay awake and thoughts are running through my head and just for a fleeting moment, I think about running away. Every night I think about different scenarios. Running away alone, running away with Nesta and Elain, leaving a note, telling Rhys, vanishing without a trace. Imagining different places where we hide, changing our names and what kind of life we would live away from our parents, from all this insanity. A normal life. What even is a normal life? I always thought we had a normal life but now I think we do not. No, I don't think, I KNOW we don't have a normal life and I feel so angry all the time.

Nesta feels angry too, she lashes out more often, especially since mom is gone. Elain got more quiet and kept her feelings to herself, even if I asked her how she felt. She just smiles and says everything will be okay. I wish it will be but I don't think so.

Rhys keeps asking me if I'm okay and I really appreciate it and I wish I could tell him the truth but I don't even know how to start, WHERE to start and when I do, I don't know if I could stop.

Maybe I'll just marry Isaac Hale and live a perfectly normal life.

July 5th

Mom grounded me over the phone because she was in a bad mood. Who knew a joke about dad being in jail could get her so riled up? It wasn't even a bad one, I saw Nesta almost smiling. I mean, making Nesta (almost) smile is probably worth getting grounded.

Nesta would have lied to mom for me, I know that, but I still gave her my phone like mom demanded so she doesn't have to. I barely use it anyway.

Something else happened last night, too. Rhys came to Crickets during my shift and he was as surprised to see me there as I was surprised to see him. He waited for me after my shift and explained that he was there because he couldn't sleep and he went to the edge of town to get a better look at the stars until he got hungry. I even talked about all the stuff happening over the last month, leaving out the bits with Isaac, of course. It was just us two, talking for a few hours after my shift, it was very nice. It felt like our relationship evolved into something deeper, more intimate, without even a touch. That probably sounds stupid but it doesn't have to make sense, it's just me reading this.

Rhys was the calming presence I needed after a storm turned the Archeron’s lives upside down.

I've also asked him to keep my job at Crickets to himself and he promised to not tell a soul.

July 6th

I finally got a night's sleep last night, surprisingly. Or more like, a good morning sleep after my shift. And after that, we spent the whole day at Rhys's house. And by we I mean Elain, Nesta and myself. He invited us over for a barbecue and it was very nice. Not only did we not have to worry about food that day but his family also welcomed us incredibly warm and friendly, it felt like getting a glimpse into a normal family. Almost his whole family was there, everyone but Rhys's dad. He told me I wasn't missing anything, his father sounded like a sunshine.

His mother and sister seemed genuinely happy to have my sisters and me there and his cousin, Mor, immediately went for a hug when she introduced herself. I really like Mor! His brothers were just as nice, although Azriel seemed a little closed off, introverted even and Cassian seemed transfixed by my sister, who was incredibly unimpressed by his antics. After his fifth time unsuccessfully trying to get Nesta's attention by flexing his muscles, he turned to me and we just talked a while, with Mor and Rhys butting in here and there. I kept my eyes on my sister's, who have seemed to relax a bit today. That was really all I wanted, getting out of our daily life and just giving it a rest for a day, enjoying ourselves. Elain has talked quite a lot to the introverted brother, who showed her the gardens of Rhys's house later in the day.

Oh my god, Rhys's house! It's even larger than ours, I almost got lost twice trying to find a restroom if it wasn't for Mor, bless her!

We didn't talk about the day much when we got home but something between us just felt lighter. Nesta didn't even bite my head off when I made a remark about Cassian, she just rolled her eyes and left.

Progress!

July 18th

I thought everything was fine but since our day at Rhys's home, he has been distant to me and it feels like he's avoiding me. I tried to smile at him when I saw him across the street but he couldn't even look me in the eye, he just turned in the other direction and walked away.

I've texted him three since last week and he has seen it but never responded! Have I done something wrong? I can't remember doing anything. Maybe his invitation to the barbecue was just him being polite and he didn't actually want us there but he had sounded so genuine when inviting me and my sisters. Cassian, Mor and I have a group chat and none of them have any clue why Rhys is so distant all of a sudden.

Next time I'll see him, I will talk and I will get answers! Even if I have to pry it out of him.

On another note, Nesta caught me writing in my diary and I expected some snide remarks but she said it was a good way to practice my writing. First I thought she was a little sus but she meant it genuinely, because sometimes I struggle a bit with reading and writing. I was so perplexed I just said “Thank you” and she just nodded and left.

Hold on, I just got a text

Excerpt from Rhysand's text messages with Mor:

Rhysand: I need to tell her

Morrigan: Rhys

Rhysand: She's going to hate me

Morrigan: yes she will! You don't need to tell her, it's NOT your fault

Rhysand: she deserves the truth. Wouldn't you want to know the truth?

Morrigan: of course I would but it's going to change everything, Rhys. It's another load on her already full enough plate

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[sourxpickles]

Just One More Time

Paring: Portgas D. Ace x Reader

Synopsis: you wrote a letter wishing him a happy birthday, knowing that he’ll never read it/ no warnings just angsty

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY ACE

One Piece spoilers below

Dear Ace,

Happy birthday my love, it's been awhile since i've written or have even come to see you.

How are you doing? Are you having fun? I miss you alot. I didn't think waking up and doing daily tasks could be such a draining and difficult thing to do. Don't be too mad at me. It’s just that some days are easier than others but they all sort of end the same, with you not in them. So it’s been very difficult.

In other news Luffy beat Kaido and became a yonko! I know you would've loved to see and hear about your baby brother getting closer to his dream. He also ended up meeting Yamato and Otama, isn't this such a small world. Well, it was bound to happen I guess. Oh, I also heard that Sabo might be in trouble. Knowing your youngest sibling, I know he wouldn't let anything happen to him. The New World has definitely become more hectic now. I would've loved to see you doing stuff also.

What else, oh I took up gardening.

Do you remember that one night on pops ship, we were talking about what niche hobbies we look like we’d do and you told me that I look like I would be a gardener if I wasn't a pirate. I'm still insulted by that statement by the way, but anyways I took your blasphemous idea of me being a gardener and implemented it. You would be so proud. I must say it's not as bad as I thought. Hard labor for sure but in a way it's sort of relaxing.

If you were curious about what I grew, it's hibiscus. Pink hibiscus to be exact. I remember you telling me stories about your mom that Garp told you and thought it was a good idea. I'm thinking of planting them near your grave, as a little extra umph. Also so you can have another piece of something by your side so you don't get lonely. It's a good idea right?

Um I don't know what else to tell you, aside from the fact that I miss you.

I miss you so much Ace, it's so painful. You always said to live life without any regrets but I don't think I can do it anymore. Everything feels meaningless without you here. Everything reminds me of you. I don't know if I wanna drown myself in things that remind me of you or starve myself of your presence.

Just one more time I want to hear your laugh.

What I would give to have you take me on another random adventure when we go to a new island. To have your head in my lap, peppering your face with kisses, telling you how much you mean to me. Using our own verbal and non-verbal ways that we would say I Love You. Running and hiding from other crew members because you wanted to prank them. Stealing food from the kitchen at 4am, just soaking in each other's presence. I miss that.

I thought it would get easier the more I gave it time but I guess I have to actually make peace with the fact that i'll never get to do those things with you anymore. Since i've started writing this I don't want to end it because it feels like i'm saying goodbye to you once again. I didn't want to make this very long but it seems that I had a lot of stuff to get off my chest. You always did say that was a feature you loved of mine. So instead of saying goodbye, i'll talk to you later, my sweet baby boy.

Rest well Ace

Love, [Name].

writing this actually made me cry a lot. i can’t wait to write more for my baby🫶🏿

[wrose-writes]

Greetings and salutations!

You can call me Rose, pleasure to meet you (probably)

My main blog's @theroseempress, I mostly live over there but I decided to make a side-blog for writing stuff in order to make it easier to find.

Also I have a Wordpress: carolinaauthor, if you want to read actual writing pieces that's where I put them.

oh yeah here's my Big WIP Intro Post go check that out!

current list of my main projects* with Quick Descriptions-

Mercy City- Currently my main WIP, probably still my main WIP as you're reading this. Probably. (mmkay so this isn't my main WIP now since I haven't worked on it in a while, but then again, I haven't worked proper on any of these for a while, so yeahhhh) Basic Quick Description- The world is made up of Resonance and we can manipulate that. Everyone is born with an affinity (can manipulate a certain bit of Resonance without needing to know the formula for it) except sometimes they aren't and even more sometimes they're born with Too Much Affinity. Too Much Affinity is bad because you blow up. Kiseki has so far avoided blowing up, and his sister Felice (who has No Affinity) would like to keep it that way. And then the plot happens. whoopsies. Main Cast**- Felice, Kiseki, Caden, and Sophie.

The Golden City- My oldest project! I recently discovered the plot to this thing is a lot longer than I'd previously thought, so right now all I'm doing with this WIP is rotating it at high speed in my head while trying to figure out what the next two thirds of the story is about. Basic Quick Description- Felix is just going about his normal life and definitely not being a criminal, except oops, he's been arrested now, oh dear, and how he has to go on a quest to Not Be In Jail >:(. Also people are blackmailing him to essentially cause a civil war. He's doing his best, guys, be nice to him. Main Cast**- Felix, Helen, Shannon, Florian, Tay (Taylor), Bricriu, Nikolai, Nerium, Iris, Raz.

keyWIP- The most recent (fully fledged) WIP on this list, it's only a few months old! I pet it lovingly on the head and water it to make it grow. (update; I'm not currently working on this one, but I do still really like it, so it stays in this list) Basic Quick Description- There are keys that can open any door to any other door and also shapeshift! Conor gets harassed by the Scholars' Council into inviting all the people who have keys to come tell the Council that because [SECRET PLOT POINT]. To the surprise of both Conor and some other people, this actually works somehow. Things proceed to escalate rapidly from that point. Main Cast**- Melody, Kit, Conor, Shalom, Hope, Adora, Varian, Jasmin [redacted] (so yeah this cast list is just all the people with keys (excluding Conor)).

medievalWIP- lawdamighty this thing has gone through SO MANY ITERATIONS. Fun fact, TGC, you know, one of my most substantial projects, is actually a spinoff of one of this WIP's earlier forms! Seriously this thing's been around since like. 2020 and it keeps evolving. Help me. (yes I realize that's only four years but they have been a very hectic four years OK it feels longer) Basic Quick Description- The king is dead, long live the- oh alright then a revolution has instantly started and there are about five groups of people who want to be the king instead (or add this country to their empire, or invent democracy instead, or just not get murdered, or be the quee-). Alright. This is fine! (lying) People Who Want To Be The King- Eléna (Alastair, Morgana, Gabriel), Finnick, Julian, Hemlock, [a princess I haven't named yet], and the neighboring country's emperor (Toby, Isa).

modmagWIP- which stands for 'modern magic WIP', which is in turn a distillation of 'what if there was a normal modern day setting but also people had magical abilities'. Mostly just tossing this idea around in my head while I think about what kind of plot this would have. ...yeah that's it I don't have anything else to say here. Basic Quick Description- well that's the part I'm working on so I don't really know what you want me to say here. uuuuh I guess there's elements of my old superhero project in here because some of these people have secret vigilante identities? Main Cast**- Rin, Callan, Shiori, Sarah, Deborah, Elias, Hana, Azmi, Faisal, Selim, Kara, August.

Elisian City- One of my old abandoned WIPs. I'm still not actually working on this, but my interest in it has recently been rekindled, so I'm putting it on the list because why not? Basic Quick Description- IDK what the plot is so here's some relevant worldbuilding; people in this universe figured out genetic modification and proceeded to create Extraordinaires; AKA people with super-human abilities. There's also Purple-Eyes, people who have super-human abilities and ...purple eyes, nobody's quite sure how that happened anymore. 'wait what if we combined Extraordinaires and Purple-Eyes would that make even more powerful people' said some scientists, creating Red-Eyes, who while indeed being Very Powerful (yay!) are also unfortunately homicidal (oh no). Main Cast**- Vann, Ash, Cass, Kyrre, Nera, Drake, Nyla, Neo, Axis (I'm probably renaming some of these guys, there's too many 'N' names)

If any of these project descriptions catch your interest, please feel free to ask to be on the taglist, which will mean I'll tag you in the once in a blue moon posts I make about my WIPs!

Or just send an ask about something you're curious about, I don't bite and I love talking about my little fictional guys :)

(*what I'm currently working on changes very suddenly and frequently so I can't really tell you that, but this should at least give you an idea of what I'm doing).

(**trust me, there's very probably more, I just listed the main people)

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 15

Well, I watch a lot during the week, as you all might know. I really want to write a little bit more about the stuff I watch, but time and work kind of get in my creative way. So I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists and this is a good excuse for me to create a new OneNote journal!).

The Promise is on hiatus, so it didn't make it on this week's list.

↑ 1. The Eighth Sense (Ep 5+6)

I love it. This series is so brilliantly good. What I especially like are those little gestures, like how excited JaeWon was when he called JiHyun and how he smiled when he told his therapist about him. The entire beach scene made me melt. What a wonderful love scene! Very aesthetically pleasing and realistic, because you can have fun with something like this and explore the other in a playful way, not everything has to be oversexualized. The series really does so much right here! The end of the episode on the other hand…I have read quite a few analyses about the next episodes and I guess we will suffer together with Jaewon, who will fall back into his old pattern and his old life to not cause more harm to the one he cares for the most and in the end harming himself, because he can't live the life he desperately wants; and we will suffer with Jihyun, who is in love and understands that Jaewon has some baggage, but is left alone in the end and is hurting and that will make my heart hurt very much and thinking about all this makes me tear up...

→ 2. Unintentional Love Story (Ep 9 +10/Final)

One of the best encounters with an ex took place this week. And Wonyoung kicked that guy's ass! In general, he has grown a lot over the episodes and has undergone a good character development. He has gained more confidence and seems more mature than he did at the beginning. I also found the phone call between Wonyoung and Taejoon a good solution to make Taejoon realize that it's not just Wonyoung who did something wrong and that the past can definitely get in the way. All the nicer that they end up watching the sunset together. I liked the series a lot.

☼ 3. Our Dining Table (Ep 2)

Yes, this won't be the most dramatic thing we're currently seeing, but that's just fine. It is a pleasant and calm balance in this rather hectic series environment. Everywhere they try to lure you in with more action, more suspense and drama, more trauma or more sex and here we have a young man overcoming his eating disorder and finding a family with the help of two brothers. It's nice and quiet and doesn't hurt anyone. I'm really looking forward to the next episode and can't wait to see what they will cook next and where their conversations will take them.

↑ 4. Chains Of Heart (Ep 9)

Okay, we now have a psychic on board who can see people's past by touching them…Nothing really surprises me anymore! But seriously, what an episode! Finally we have Mr. Lue/Din and Ken together! Even though Ken seems to be in denial that Mr. Lue is Din? I think he knows, but can't stand the thought of Din lying to him all this time. So Mr. Lue is supposed to make him forget what he knows and wow, he does! These two were really starving for both affection and passion. What else happened? The scene also made me forget what happened next. Hin is the older brother of Din…Wouldn't have thought that, I thought he is the younger one. And then he is also the brain-cell of the whole episode! I am very impressed, he seemed more like the simple-minded shadow of Yu. All in all, once again a very good episode.

↑ 5. A Boss And A Babe (Ep 7)

So Gun is just the best in this series.

How he came into Cher's room after the shower and just doesn't give a shit what others think and says goodbye with "I'll wait in bed." And Cher's friends…they already know something since the BBQ, but they happily ignore it away. That's another way of dealing with it. Some say that not much happens and the show has no real plot. Does something outstanding always have to happen? Aren't everyday problems and how to deal with them sometimes enough? Like the problems with the foster brother or overcoming a first love and discovering a new, different love. I really liked walking with Cher through his life this week.

☼ 6. Naked Dining (Ep 1)

What do you do when you want to relieve stress? I craft or watch series or listen to loud music. Our protagonist eats…naked. And feels free. Honestly, if it helps? Who am I to judge? He finds a letter in the mail from his grandmother, who has already passed away. She wrote the letter six months ago and put it into a program that sends mail at a chosen time. He visits the house to clean it up and relax a bit from the stressful world of work. There he meets Miki Mahiro, who has taken the grandmother on a culinary journey to discover the world in this way. And as fate would have it, he discovers that our protagonist likes to be naked while eating. The scene was hilarious!

↓ 7. Bed Friend (Ep 9)

I'm only watching now because it'll be over soon. The series started really strong, but somehow it lost me. The positive thing about this episode was that for once there was no drama and Uea could take a breath (okay, except maybe at the very beginning, but that's positive drama when the former abuser is arrested and the abusive mother is done with the world). And finally Uea came around and accepted King as his boyfriend. It was getting a bit exhausting to see King begging and at the end I was just confused what their status is now. The introduction to King's parents I found really charming, between door and hinge. So not the hit for me this week.

☼ 8. My Story (Ep 1)

There's so much going on that I've lost track of everything. But one guy is a cook and goes to Thailand to earn money and meets the future love of his life there. And another one takes in a young man in his dormitory, which the dean finds totally fine, also that they have to share the bed together and that's why he just gets put up there from school and you can already tell in episode one that the two of them are going to be exciting. They have definitely stolen the show for me.

→ 9. Tin Tem Jai (Ep 7)

Now why the hell did Park have this change of heart? It feels like yesterday he wanted to do everything to convince Tin that he doesn't like him and will never marry him, and suddenly they're sitting in the living room and he confesses to him, in the creepiest way possible, that he tried to think of him as just a brother, but the older Tin got, the prettier he got…What masterful mind-brain came up with this dialogue? And those random jumps in time and space, and why didn't Tin and Park talk to each other? And Park really only has three emotions…annoyed, tired or neutral…Nothing else comes across…I can't really feel his affection for Tin either. Anyway…Three more episodes and if this doesn't end with the wedding of the two, I'll throw hands.

→ 10. PastSenger (Ep 6)

Okay, they like each other. Everybody likes each other. I just can't see the chemistry between Plawan and Moodaeng. For me, there's nothing there and it feels a little too rushed how Plawan got over his crush on Bamee. Then Kiev and Bamee…just talk to each other! But no, argue. And by the way it's totally normal when your friends want to interfere in your life or at least worry! What kind of friends are they who just let him work in this place? I would have taken him in and looked for something more suitable…And Franc is suddenly not so bad after all and makes her laugh? Very fast and confusing changes that happened this week. And I'm not talking about the kisses…Except maybe you shouldn't have held the camera on them quite so long…Had to look away briefly at the drunken mouth on mouth placement…

[wonustars]

mini life update ♡

i feel so bad for not replying to all the comments and reblogs i’ve been getting lately but my life is super hectic rn so please don’t think i’m ignoring u all 😔 all of the reblogs for fics or the comments under the posts where i’m just yapping genuinely make me so happy so thank you all for interacting w me 🫶 it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. i haven’t been posting a lot cuz ive been doing so much this summer!! but i wanna try and finish one of my now (weirdly extensive amount of wips, so crazy for wonustars right? i usually only do one wip at a time yet here i am)

here are some things that’s happened in the last couple of months (if you’re curious)

- moved houses :0

- got tix to go to korea w my friends for next year

- tix to see svt !!

- doing a bunch of training to get a better job w better pay (boring but very important stuff)

-working and just trying to enjoy my summer before school starts (i’m in serious debt)

anyways if you’ve read this far thank u :3 and i hope to see u in my next fic 😭😭 hopefully soon omfg i’ve been procrastinating sm w writing im sorry but ily all ur all my friends tbh so thank u for following along w this acc and writing journey hehehehe 🫶🫶🫶

[shxtodxroki]

hello, i just wanted to check up on you since you haven’t posted in so long. I hope you’re okay and that you’re “just” stressed or not in the mood for writing. Please don’t feel pressured or anything by this, simply worrying a little.

Anyway have a nice day!

Aaa oh my goodness, I wish I had seen this sooner because this is such a sweet message, I'm so sorry I took so long to respond. Honestly I didn't think many people would notice my absence much so I didn't expect to see an ask like this at all, and it means a lot to know that someone wanted to check in. I hope you know that I was not intentionally ignoring you anon, this message means so much to me and if I had seen it sooner I would have responded as soon as I could. This past summer has just been a whirlwind (some good, some bad) and I've found myself in a cycle of burn-out that I'm really trying to break out of.

To answer your question, life has been hectic, but I am doing alright :> There have been some rough times but also some fun times over the past few months, and right now I'd honestly say I'm doing pretty okay :> (More under the cut in case anyone is interested but please don't feel obligated at all! It's more of just a mini-rant for my personal sake lol) But I am doing well, thank you so so much for taking the time to check in. This was incredibly kind and honestly it means a lot just to know that someone noticed I wasn't posting and decided to reach out :] Thanks for making my day, anon, you're an incredibly kind soul. <3

Most of the business has been because my mom has been through a hospital/rehabilitation process this whole summer, and since something very similar happened to my dad 2 years ago and I'm an adult now, a lot has fallen on me (not medical-decision wise but a lot of other things) in terms of teaching my other family members how to handle brain injuries and what's best for her since my sister and I have the past experience that no one else does AND the knowledge of her past health stuff. She's okay thankfully and improving steadily, it's just been hectic and the feeling of deja vu from going through this before has also been hitting me hard. I also have an old dog who's given us a few scares recently and is probably close to the end, and since I've never lost a pet before that's been hitting me kind of hard as well.

On top of some of the heavier stuff my school has just been a pain with getting me registered for classes, removing classes I had signed up for and not giving me times for others, and it's been a whole mess that I've been focused on sorting out. But I've had good times too, I've been able to see friends this summer and giving myself some "me time" between everything where I have a bit of a break. So I'm doing alright, and things are hopefully going to even out a bit soon, and I appreciate the consideration and care :>

[wrongcaitlyn]

HIII i hope the eras was so fun!! i’ve been following u since the she-ra era (remember wrongcatra lol) right as i was starting to fixate on arcane and pjo. AND UR A SWIFTIE SJSJSJ!!! its so crazyy how u like everything i like! i love when editors/writers switch interests the exact same time as me

i loveeee talk ur talk and i was wondering if in the future (like far far farrrr future) solangelo would ever have kids? like adoption or biologically idk!

SDJFLASJDFLSJDFSAF OH MY GOD???sdlkFJSKLDFJ OH MY FUCKING GOD NO WAYYSDFJSDJF????lsDFKJSDF sorry im like dying here i STILL cant believe that some people know me from wrongcatra, that feels like so long ago... WOAH. thats actually so so cool to know that our interests followed like parallel lines omg <333 some sort of soulmate type shit i'd say!

ANYWAY now to actually respond to the ask - thank you so much!!! the eras tour was INCREDIBLE i truly had the time of my life <33 and honestly i have the same thing with finding editors that have the same interests... like whenever i see someone who posts both pjo and arcane im like?? omg???? are we the same person??? i can just tell you guys that i'll be starting to post abt arcane on here as november rolls closer bc the hyperfixation is already creeping up on me again... god i love that show so muchSDJKLF

as for whether theyd have children! i've been thinking about this for a while actually, and im leaning towards no. or at least- my idea is that both of their jobs are just *incredibly* time consuming, and very chaotic, with nico traveling a lot, and will- well, will's gonna be a doctor, so... yeahJKLSDF that speaks for itself! (in case u want more detail, i was thinking of him being a pediatric surgeon? idk why but i also always pictured him working in the er, maybe bc that's similar to what he does at chb, though he could also try to work in a less hectic environment as they grow older, i'm not entirely sure)

so i don't think that it'd be something that they'd even start thinking about for a very long time, just because they wouldn't have time for a kid, they wouldnt' be able to give them the attention they deserved (and with both nico and will having dealt with various levels of neglect as kids, that's definitely something they wouldn't want to put on a child)

HOWEVER. i think that. one day when they're much much older and maybe will changes his job slightly so its less of late nights and stuff, and nico decides not to tour for quite a bit and focuses more on other,,, projects, i think they would foster! probably young children, like before school, so their kids wouldn't have to deal with yk,, the attention of having a famous parent (will knows that issue all too well), but i think that they would actually feel really fulfilled and happy doing that. and who knows, maybe one of those children, they would one day adopt - i'm thinking of it now, maybe a pair of siblings or smth like that, i think it would be sweet :) but yeah, tbh, i don't have that many thoughts on what will happen past the timeline of greatest of luxuries, or at least no definite plans, but i think this is the most likely scenario :)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Not going to be around much in the coming month

It is possible, and indeed likely, that I'll be back on here by January or February, but I just wanted to let you all know that things are going to be pretty hectic and low-posting over the next month or so.

That's mainly for two reasons:

1) A lot of my usual online socializing is in Discord these days, where I have to be able to reply quickly and reliably. My priorities in the real-world have changed dramatically, and while I still want to talk to some people here, I don't want to hang out in a place where I can never be sure when my responses will be read. (I'm mostly OK with the idea of not being contacted for long periods of time by some people. I don't mind if you think I've disappeared and stopped caring, because I'm looking for more real-life contact now.)

2) Some complicated work and life stuff has come up, which is distracting me a lot right now. I want to make sure I have time to work on this stuff.

There's another reason I want to step back for a while, and that's that I kind of need a break from blogging. I've worked on it a lot lately, but I don't want to keep pushing it in ways that aren't working.

I don't really know how I want to approach this site in the long run. I find myself having a hard time taking a break from it, because I like having something I can just produce stuff for without it having to be perfect or special or Something. This stuff is just what I feel like writing. (Writing for the audience of one, if you will. But I don't want the audience to be limited to one, at least not anymore. I'm not keeping a journal here anymore.)

I like the idea of just continuing to write some metafiction and stuff, and keep experimenting with posting styles. But I want to be able to spread that kind of experimentation out over time. (Lately, I've been pushing a lot more and posting shorter things, for example.) I want to post some very long things, and make posts that only make sense if you read them with the rest of the work, etc. I want to make some effortposts that are really involved. I want to make people wonder whether they are talking about stories or, like, genuine life. (Matt Levine's Harper's pieces are one kind of inspiration for this.)

But I don't want to push myself into that. It's not true, exactly, that you can be too committed to your art. But you can at least try too hard for too long. You can get used to all your work being serious and careful, and then suddenly feel insecure if you try to write something playful and foolish.

So I'm going to step back for a while, and come back when I feel comfortable with the fact that, y'know, if I write some crap or forget to reply to something, it's OK. I don't have to be worried about whether or not I'm convincing my followers or disappointing them, or if this is the post that finally breaks the camel's back. I don't have to be upset when someone unfollows me. I'll just make stuff, put it out there, and see what happens, without expecting to much, and without worrying.

[buckera]

Weekend Wip Game ✨

I was tagged by the lovely @daffi-990 thank you mwuah 😘

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

(I cut it off halfway cuz I went long like always...)

1. WIP List:

so as you know my wip list is pretty long, but the active ones right now are:

• the mudslide fic

• the jealous eddie fic

• the breeding kink fic

• the accident fic

• the donation smut

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

the mudslide fic is currently standing at 38.6k and I expect at the very least 20k more... which wouldn't just make it my longest current wip, but also the longest fic I've ever written

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

the mudslide fic hands down, unless something drastic happens and one of my wips gets away from me (though from the inactive wips I expect two of them to be around the same length, possibly)

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I enjoy all of them, but the mudslide fic is surprisingly joyous to write, even though it's mostly just me putting the boys through the emotional and physical wringer lmao

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

listen. I love writing the mudslide fic, but I kinda wrote myself into a hole with it, in the sense that I included a couple of real life locations (though only vaguely) that I just had to make shit up for, which is fine cuz the show does the same, but... idk it's long and the boys spend quite a large chunk of the story separate and it makes me worry that people will find it boring or just idk will be nitpicky about it... like, I have confidence in my writing, but I'm also forever insecure about it??? ugh

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

uhhh I guess the accident fic?? because it's short and it's kind of written in the way I usually write ficlets, which means I don't spiral about the details that much and now I'm worried that it's gonna seem rushed or way too out of sorts 😓

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

none of them, I'm very much a fuck it we ball type of writer

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?

yeppppp. that's why I have so many active wips atm cuz I got stuck on both of my main ones 🥲

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

the mudslide fic – and she's barely even in it, but she grew on me anyway 💛

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I have to say the donation smut... or the breeding kink fic, whichever floats your boat I guess

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the mudslide fic, definitely

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I'm not sure??? like, I try my best in all of them, but I can't necessarily say if I succeeded idk

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

again, I'm probably gonna have to go with the mudslide fic

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

👆 I've been doing quite a lot of research going into legal procedures, sixth grade curriculum and body decomposition in water, just to name a few (and most of these barely feature btw 🥲), not to mention looking at the map of LA constantly to gauge distances, but it's still kinda fun though

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

uhmmm I don't have high expectations for any of them, if we're talking about like, comments and kudos and stuff... usually the fics I just write in a moment of inspiration and just throw online get more attention than the ones I try to finetune for hours/days/weeks, so you know... I try to write fics for myself and hope that there are people they resonate with 🫶

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

listen, I have really hectic and weird dreams, but I don't think I ever dreamed about any of my wips

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

well, if nothing else, operating with this many characters is something I'm not exactly used to, so the mudslide fic and the jealous eddie fic are kinda unique in that regard, I suppose

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I'm not... exactly big on writing goofy stuff, which is unfortunate because I love reading it, but I mean it a 100% when I say angst and smut is my bread and butter

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not a very deep dive, but I do touch on a side character's background in the mudslide fic, no outside povs though

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs

idk?? uhh it's not an active wip, but all I could think about is that Homesick For Your Skin isn't my first parallel universe fic, but it's the first one I had to work out without magic 🪄

I'm sure most of you have already done this, but here are five no pressure tags anyway:

@forthewolves @jesuisici33 @callaplums @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz

[leviabeat]

Volbeat and Asinhell's Michael Poulsen shares the secrets of his success and happiness

Emily Swingle | Metal Hammer | 5/8/24

From bruising hard rock to thrashing psychobilly breakdowns, Michael Poulsen is a heavy metal chameleon. Starting out in death metal band Dominus, the formidable Dane quickly realised the heavy music scene needed a makeover - and along came Volbeat, throwing out big anthems infused with the bounce of 50s rock’n’roll.

Although Volbeat’s latest release, 2021’s Servant Of The Mind, was met with acclaim, Michael deemed it a perfect time to switch things up once more. Last year ushered in his most ferocious outing to date - an 80s-tinged underground death metal monster of a side-project called Asinhell. We sat down with the man himself, to understand what motivates his hectic hunt for a new sound.

DREAM BIG

“A lot of kids dream of being firemen, football players or huge wrestlers… but I always wanted to be a rock star. From a very young age, I was a dreamer, lying on the floor with my head between two speakers, listening to music and drifting away for hours. My parents would come in and tell me I was gonna ruin my ears, but I just couldn’t stop myself.

I created this bubble of sound, just fantasising about the performers and how I could surround myself with music. The idea of becoming a musician wasn’t at the front of my mind, but I was definitely flirting with the idea. The signs were always there.”

IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT

“For my new project, Asinhell, we wanted to be true to the old-school metal sound. Yes, we have access to all this hightech, fancy studio equipment - but we wanted to do it like the old days. Fridays have become ‘Death Metal Fridays’, and we’d rehearse in [drummer] Morten Toft Hansen’s small garage. We even recorded it like we used to, back in the days when we were very young and didn’t have coin for anything. And it was exactly what we wanted.”

STIR THE POT (MUSICALLY SPEAKING)

“When it comes music, everything is about my roots. I started playing death metal when I was 15 or 16, but I also grew up with lots of 50s music. My parents were always listening to Elvis, Johnny Cash and those kind of performers. When I was in my death metal band, Dominus, you weren’t really allowed to mix different elements into the music. So, when I formed Volbeat, I made it my mission to cram as many different genres and inspirations as possible into the sound. It felt so liberating.”

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

“The struggles I’ve gone through have led to where I am now. There’s no good without bad, light cannot live without the darkness. You have to stay focused, stay positive. I’ve always had that mindset. People go through awful things, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I’ve faced challenges, I’m in the right place now, so it’s been worth it.”

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU

“One of the greatest challenges of my life was becoming a father. Suddenly, it’s not all about you - you’re secondary. Life definitely changed when I had kids. You become more aware of existence, and don’t want to waste time on the wrong things. It forces you to become a better person; you need great personality to bring that to your kids, to make sure they’re good people. Being a parent is an amazing challenge.”

MUSIC CONNECTS US ALL

“When I started, the internet wasn’t really a thing. It was all about getting out there, meeting people - and music was how you could do that. When you loved, say, extreme underground stuff, you quickly became aware of the scene, and you could get involved with those groups of people. The underground scene has always been about connecting with other people.

Even now, you see fans travelling to different cities, different countries, and they immediately know they’ll meet like-minded people at a show. No matter where you go, if there’s a concert, or a music community, you know you’ve got a friend. There’s something very special about the music community.”

LET A PROJECT SPEAK FOR ITSELF

“Before the internet, how you promoted yourself was totally different. The only way to be heard was by tape trading, sending out flyers, or meeting people in people in record stores or venues.

The internet can make it easy to over-hype yourself - and I never want to over-hype my own music. I hate it when certain bands are shoved in your face – you see them everywhere before you’ve even listened to one note. Music shouldn’t be pushed to a level where it becomes overexposed. If it’s good, people will find it.”

YOU SHOULD SEE THE WORLD

“When we started touring, it was magical. Suddenly you were going to another country that you’d never been to, and the next day, it’d be somewhere else new. I’d get home and my family would be so excited, saying, ‘You’ve seen more of the world in one week that we have in our whole lives!’

The lessons you learn when traveling are so important. I’d say traveling is an incredible thing to experience and that everyone should immerse themselves in as many cultures as humanly possible."

...BUT HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

“There comes a time when, after many years of touring, you just want to be at home. I’m not really a fan of traveling, nowadays. I like being with my family, picking my kids up from school, from kindergarten. I am a homebody - when I get back from tour, sometimes it’s a battle for my wife to get me out of my house!”

FAMILY COMES FIRST

“I have a twin sister, and we have such a strong connection. But having a child only made me more aware of how ridiculously special a family connection is. My daughter was born a little too early; when my wife started going into labor, I was actually on tour with Metallica in the US, maybe in New York.

My wife called in the middle of the night saying, ‘My water just broke’, and I knew I had to be there - even if that meant canceling a show with Metallica. When I went to the hospital and held my daughter for the first time, it was the most amazing thing. I can’t even describe it.”

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

“I’m a very bad sleeper, so sometimes with touring, the lack of sleep is terrible. Tour buses are a nightmare. When you’ve not slept in five or six days, it really impacts your energy, and my voice really suffers. So I’d say sleep is essential. In terms of the body, I’ve also really gotten into running - I just love it. I need it. It’s like a drug for me, that runner’s high. Runner’s high is an actual high, I promise you!”

WHILE YOU’RE AWAKE, BE USEFUL

“The biggest challenge I’ve ever faced was losing my father. You become very quickly aware of what life is all about, but also how short it is. My father always said, ‘Michael, while you are awake, be useful.’ That’s a great life lesson – I live by it. I’m not good at sitting around doing nothing. Before music, I’ve always had hobbies, be that football, cycling, or breakdancing - I even came second place in a breakdancing competition once.”

…AND IF YOU CAN’T BE USEFUL, KEEP BUSY!

“I’m always extremely busy, and I always want to be. I surround myself with good people who inspire me to keep pushing myself. I’m very, very proud of what I’ve accomplished in my musical career. I could retire if I wanted to, but that’s not how I function. I’m always inspired, I love what I’m doing. Ultimately, life is all about experience. I believe that the more we live, the more we get done, the better people we become.”

[bg-sparrow]

For the writing asks, do the 3s: 3, 13, 23, etc.

For this fanfic writer ask game!

3. On a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?

I’d say 6 or 7. I’m a romantic, but I don’t really read romance? I’m more into the romance being a secondary or tertiary storyline. And a good romance, to me, is built upon the small moments of the big, hectic adventure of life, so that’s where I love finding it in a good story!

13. Talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

There Are No Roads (Time Circuits #2.5) was a huge surprise to me. In my OC x canon rewrite, it was meant to be this 10K oneshot of Doc’s time in 1885 before Marty showed up, and it turned in a 40K, 9-chapter fic where each chapter was dedicated to a month, the last of which detailed the timeline of September 1885B (if Doc had been shot at the festival/ Marty hadn’t shown up). I loved the minor characters that took on a life of their own, the subplots that flourished, and the exploration I got to do of the canon characters. I’m still, to this day, immensely proud of it and reread it often.

23. How do you deal with writer's block?

At the moment? Not very well, lol. For real, usually, getting out an actual notebook with a pen and just writing out “Why do we feel stuck?” and prompting myself like that leads to me talking to myself for a page or so until my brain untangles something. Or I’ll ask, “What part are we excited to write next?”, list a scene or two, then tell myself to just write a line or two for them right now (which ends up turning into a few hundred words). I still panic when it happens, though, like I don’t know if it will help. 

(Also, apologies to anyone reading it, but I am a little blocked and lack motivation on Once Upon a Time in the North right now. But it will get done!)

33. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

I guess the characters come to mind first with a vague haze of a plot around them. As I build one, the other fills out, and it’s a back and forth. Then, as I go on, it becomes, “how does the character react if I do this? What if their reaction is the opposite of what I expect? What does that say for their character AND the story?” They’re very co-dependent to me.

43. How did writing change you?

Writing grounds me. It’s the ability to have control and create order with words and ideas I lack in real life, especially as someone who went undiagnosed with severe ADHD until adulthood. I was always centered and focused the most when I had good music structuring a scene in my mind, and I love editing because of that control I have to form the narrative just the way I want. 

53. When writing, do you have an outline? And do you stick to it?

For longer fics, definitely. I try to tell myself to adhere to the basic structure I’ve laid out, but I’ve moved stuff around, like moving scenes from the end of one chapter to the beginning of the next or, within a chapter, rearranging those scenes. After Time Circuits, I gave up the rigid outlining for a bit just to see how I’d fare, but I still end up with loose outlines in my notebooks when working stuff out. 

63. What’s the best insult you’ve read in a fic?

I have no idea! That’s a great question! I can’t really think of one off the top of my head!

73. How do you visualize scenes? Do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

I’m a very visual person, so when I write, there is a movie playing out on the page. Then, once I have it out, I go back and fill in the introspection and detail the setting a bit more.

83. Less is more or more is more?

Less is more. God, I’ve been learning that lesson since I started taking writing seriously in college (again, because I tend to be wordy). Learning how to be succinct and hit people with just the right words is a lot of fun, and I like to practice that with the many drabbles I write throughout the year. They are great practice!

93. Do you hear other people’s writing styles when they talk?

So, and this might sound strange, but I don’t talk to a lot of writers to where I audibly hear them? I chat with fellow writers online, and I can see the similarities if I’m looking for them, but for the most part, this doesn’t really apply to me! I’ve never talked to/ chatted with someone where it was immediately apparent. Sometimes I think I’m that person, though!

Thanks for the ask!! :D

[timeoverload]

I am glad today is over. It was a lot more hectic than I was anticipating. There are only 4 people working the morning shift now including me so now I have a lot more to worry about. Nobody has applied for the open positions but I guess I understand. I don't blame them. I remember that I only took this job because I was broke and desperate since I had just moved back from Florida. In the interview they warned me about what I had to deal with. Sometimes I wish I would have just walked away back then but I do think it has helped me grow a lot even though it isn't very fun.

I got pissed earlier because I got yelled at by one of the nurses. There was a pan missing an instrument and I know I had written on the label that it was missing before I sterilized it yesterday. They didn't notice the note on the label and opened it anyway. The nurse came storming out of the operating room with the pan and started throwing a fit about it. It was a problem yesterday too and she was like, "this is the second day in a row you have done this!". I know I had labeled the pan from yesterday too but they weren't paying attention. It is not her job to talk to me about that stuff. The surgical techs are the ones that are responsible for that and she didn't need to be like that. It didn't delay anything and no one else was upset about it. I didn't do anything wrong. She just likes to take her frustration out on everyone around her because it is obvious that she is unhappy with her own life. I have known her for years and she has always been like that. I try to be nice to her but it doesn't matter so I'm just going to ignore her. She is twice my age but she doesn't act like it. I guess some people never grow up. I got really upset after that happened and I said something about being bad at my job. Another nurse heard me say that and she stood up for me. She was very nice and that made me feel a lot better. I appreciated her support and it helped me calm down. I decided I am just going to leave that pan down until I get a replacement for the instrument that is missing so I can avoid any more drama.

That guy that has a crush on me came up to me to apologize for sending me weird pictures last week. There were a couple selfies and also some pictures of food without context. He told me he was just hungry because he has been fasting during the day for a while. He is a strange man and I don't understand him. He is the same guy that asked where I go to hide at work when I need to cry on his first day. He just says the most random shit and I don't know how he comes up with it on the spot. Sometimes it is too much. I guess I am just glad things aren't as awkward now but I am still trying to avoid being around him too much.

I am happy that I got everything done before I had to leave so I don't have to worry about it in the morning. Hopefully people are in a better mood tomorrow. There are a lot of totals though so I don't know how it's going to go.

I don't want to think about work anymore. I have so much I need to get done at home and I am overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. I need to try to focus on that more I think.

The doctor's office called today and told me I am getting a referral for PT. I told them I didn't want to schedule anything right now because I don't have transportation so I will have to call them when I'm ready. I really hate going to PT after work and I know it is going to be too much of a hassle to leave in the middle of the day. I don't want to do it at all. I will be more exhausted than I already am. I don't want to think about that anymore either because there's nothing I can do at the moment.

I guess I am going to try to relax soon. I don't have much else to talk about. I hope that tomorrow is a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. :) 💖💖💖