#and just the way they both render forests r really beautiful

[potofbees]

bunch of daytime shots in alan wake remastered using ReShade and Character Toggler

[wafflesetc]

Years & Years

A/N: TFC Timeline. Thank you to @walkinginland and @kkruml for being patient with me and going through a few stages of WTF moments with me. I guess I’d try writing something, again. 

The last walk up the hill left me rendered breathless for a moment. I stopped and turned, looking back down into the forest. The setting sun creeping through the branches of the trees. The air was getting hints of fall- the golden hour seeping in early and the cool air starting to put a chill into our bones. Shaking the last bit of dirt from my skirt, I readjusted the basket on my hip and decided to make my way back to the house. 

“Someone is going to have to get supper going, I suppose.” I thought with an all too loud sigh.

Making my way to the house I spotted Bree folding some laundry. “Hello love, have you seen your father?”

“Last I saw him he was mending one of the fences on the backside of the property.” She dropped the shirt into the bin with the other clean clothes. “Is something wrong?” I could hear the tone of her voice shift to a sense of worry, clearly, I was wearing my exhaustion on my face.

I placed my basket on the porch and leaned against the wood of the house, “Nothing is wrong, I just haven’t seen him since he left early this morning to go hunting. I wanted to say hello before I get supper going.” If I were being honest, I just missed my husband. I had longed for twenty years to have him near and to have that back again, I found myself missing him just as much but only after a few hours. 

“Ah,” Bree smiled, reaching down to grab the laundry, “Well, I need to feed Jem and find my own husband. How long till you think we will eat?” 

“I’d say about an hour or so. I’ll have Jamie come for you when I’m almost ready.”  

“Thanks Mama.” She kissed my cheek and made her way to her own cabin.

I walked down the path to find my husband leaning against a post. He was facing the view of the mountains. His breath was steady as a beating drum, but I could see the back of his neck- flushed and full of color; his mind appeared to be two hundred years away.

“Pleasant evening to watch the sunset, isn’t it?” I said more or less to myself wanting to make sure he knew I was near. Somehow, I knew he had long registered my presence. 

“I suppose,” He smiled and turned to face me. “Do the sunsets look the same from yer time?” 

So, his thoughts really had been two hundred years away.

 “Well, yes.” I opened my arms and pulled myself against his chest. “And no.” I let outa small chuckle. 

“And no, aye?” I looked up and saw the small raise of his brow. “What do ye mean by that, Sorcha?” 

“Yes, they are still plentiful and beautiful, but no because in the future land becomes colonized. Over time the buildings get bigger and impact the view. It’s kind of sad in some ways, but the cities are also beautiful. There’s nothing like the New York skyline alight at night with a view over the Hudson River.”

He let out his breath and kissed the top of my head. I knew he had no real grasp on picturing the skyscrapers of the 1950s I had come to know and love, yet in his own way as always, he understood just what I meant. We stood embracing one another in silence. I waited for him to speak, still trying to gauge where he was headed with this conversation. 

“Are you ready to do it again?” He finally asked. 

“What do you mean?” I inquired.

“Live through another war. Ye ken I dinna ever wish to put ye in harm’s way, but I also ken that ye will not let me go wi’ out ye.” 

 “Well observed of you.” 

That earned me a laugh and I could sense some of the tension ease from his body.

“Do you remember what I told you that one night in Paris?” I seldom spoke of our time in Paris; I was sure he heard the small crack in my voice. 

“Bad things tend to happen when we’re apart, that’s what yer talking about, aye?” 

“Yes.” I took a breath trying to compose myself. “We knew what would happen and we still tried to change it. Now it’s rather similar. We know what is going to happen, but we do not wish to change it. We wish to be on the winning side…. We’re merely spectators in this one.” 

 “Ye ken as well as I do, it is never that simple.” I could hear the uneasiness in his voice and the tap of his fidgeting fingers against my back.

 I took a breath and tightened my arms around his waist. I needed the closeness, the proximity of the rise and fall of his chest. I needed the reminder that I was here and he was with me. 

“It isn’t that simple, but it also is that simple. I am here- our daughter­..” My voice cracked and I could feel the tears rising to the surface. “Is here. Our grandson is here. Our son-in-law. Jamie, all of the things we missed together, all of those years. This war won’t tear us apart like it did in the past, we know the outcome and what side will win.” I took another deep breath and felt his hands firmly on my waist, keeping me sturdy. “And quite frankly, I may miss a flushing toilet, but I’d always rather be where you are.” 

 “Ye ken I feel the same, I always have.”  He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and tilted my head up towards him. “I dinna ken how to explain it… This all feels similar to me and I canna shake the feeling deep in my bones that this time will be different.”

I seldom tried to recall the memories of our dreaded separation, but I also knew deep within just what he was trying to convey. Truth of the matter, words failed to explain how deeply our souls were entwined with each other. There was a firm foundation upon which we stood, so firm and present, that somehow we both knew that is all that mattered. 

 “It will be different this time, I promise you.” I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close. The proximity of our faces naught but inches apart his blue eyes searing into mine. 

“Blood of my blood” He kissed my forehead. 

“And bone of my bone.” I finished for him.

[princeazurathepathetic]

Broo this is my Sothismas gift for @illputaspellonyou ! the event was hosted and made possible by @patricia-von-arundel ty for making this possible! It’s complete fluff and shenanigans by one of my favourite idiot boyfriend duo: Casphardt. It was my first time writing them, and I had a blast. I love them. story under the cut!

“C'mon Linhardt, you can't keep scaring me like that.”

Caspar's voice was teasing but had an air of worry about it. His face showed the same emotion, Linhardt almost would have found it sweet, if he wasn’t very annoyed.

“Not everyone thrives off of battle like you do. I've told you a hundred times, I don't do too well near blood."

"Yeah, I know that. But do you have to faint like that? I almost couldn't save you this time. Almost…"

It was a picture perfect sunset in the middle of the forest in Dagda, one of the many countries Linhardt and Caspar had decided to go to when they opted to travel the world.

“Well I'm sorry. Maybe you could stop running into every fight that shows itself with no preparation like that. Then, I wouldn't have to follow you, and then faint."

"What!? That's ridiculous, if someone wants to go around picking fights, you have to take it, otherwise, they might go off and try to fight someone who can't, or doesn't want to."

"Like… Me?"

Caspar rolled his eyes, but didn't argue further because something caught his eye, he saunters off, leaving Linhardt to argue with nothing.

“Seriously, if you were not so brash and unruly, then maybe this whole 'traveling the world' thing would be more enjoyable, and-"

Linhardt trailed off, promptly realizing he was talking to thin air, and continued to look for where his troublesome boyfriend is, and continue his point that would most certainly lead nowhere. It's not that he wanted to argue with Capsar all the time, he just, didn't hate it. It was simply the nature of their relationship; Caspar would do something absolutely stupid, and then Linhardt would have to drag him out of it, and then they'd playfully argue, make up for arguing, have a sweet moment, and then the cycle restarted. 

“Hey, Lin?”

Linhardt was interrupted from his thinking. 

“You might wanna come see this, it's pretty cool.”

Linhardt stormed over to where the familiar voice was coming from, Caspar couldn't distract him from winning the argument forever. But Linhardt did not get to say the thing that would obviously have decimated Caspar in that ridiculous dispute. Instead he was rendered speechless, in front of him lay one of the most gorgeous landscapes he’d ever seen. 

They were standing at the edge of a cliff, overlooking a giant river valley, littered with those bioluminescent blue crystals Dagda was known for having, and it was sunset. It truly did look incredible, then again, Caspar was very good at finding beautiful scenery (surprisingly).

“Wow, this is… beautiful.”

Caspar looked surprised, he had wanted Linhardt to stop arguing so he could talk with him seriously, but this was fast. But whatever, it made what he was about to say easier.

“Yeah… Pretty cool, huh?”

Were his palms sweaty? They were sweaty, weren’t they? Linhardt probably noticed, and just wasn’t saying anything about it. The air was far too hot. Or was it just him? And that cliff was far too unsafe to do this, and GODDESS he just had to do it!

“Hey, uh, Lin?”

Linhardt was still very involved with the scenery, and wasn’t fully paying attention to his ridiculous but adorable boyfriend, which meant Caspar had to actually go out of his way to get his attention. He took a stick from the ground, and proceeded to poke Lin with it… Or at least he had meant it to be a poke, but since it almost knocked Linhardt over, he was going to guess it was a little more harsh. 

“What!? Must you really almost impale me on the end of a stick to get my attention!?”

“Whoops.”

Linhardt let out a dramatic sigh. 

“Well, you have my attention, what is it?”

“Well… you know how you’re, uh, dating me and stuff?”

“Yes. I do. And?”

Goddess, why did this have to be so awkward!? Of course he knew that he was dating him, he’s not an idiot!

“Yeah, and I was thinking that maybe we should stop being like that…”

“You’re breaking up with me? Why!?”

“No wait that��s not what I-

“What did I do!? Is it because of that silly argument earlier? If so that is hardly a reason to- to break up with me!”

“Lin, I’m not-!”

“I think you're being a bit unreasonable, Caspar.”

“LIN!”

“Seriously, I know I’m a bit new to being in a romantic relationship, but-”

He kept going, and he was obviously too busy spiraling that he wasn’t going to listen. Honestly, Caspar had never seen Linhardt so worked up before. Seeing the stick he had previously discarded, he promptly ‘poked’ Linhardt with it again. 

“Ow! Can you stop doing that!?”

“You weren’t listening to me. Listen to me this time!”

Linhardt rolled his eyes, but stayed silent. He just hoped that Caspar wasn’t about to break up with him, because then he wouldn’t even know what to do with himself. He didn’t say it that often, but he relied on Caspar, he needed him. So he hoped that this was just Caspar phrasing something stupid.

“What I wanted to say is that we should be, ya know, more than that… or something.”

“What? Speak normally.”

“Fine. LINHARDT WILL YOU MARRY ME PLEASE!?”

What? Had he heard correctly? Yes, it was impossible not to with Caspar practically screaming it into his ear. And sure enough, there he was, on one knee holding a ring in both hands, holding it like it was his last hope for all reality. It was actually almost comedic. 

Linhardt was slowly processing what exactly this meant, (which was odd because normally he processed things very fast). When it finally sank in, Linhardt was a mess of emotions almost immediately. He broke into tears, trying desperately to maintain his composure and failing pathetically.

“I can’t tell if this is a good thing or not. Are these tears of joy? Or tears of not-joy…”

“They’re tears o-of j-joy, you id-diot.” 

He couldn't get through a single sentence without stuttering and sobbing. It was embarrassing, but it was pretty much unavoidable.

“Sooo… That a yes?”

“Y-yeah.” 

His voice was shaky, and it didn’t help that Caspar swept him up in a bridal hold. (fitting) Linhardt screamed, he hated (loved) it when Caspar picked him up, it was very bothering, but he could barely talk so he decided to save the lecture for now. 

“WOOHOO! YEAH! I KNEW YOU’D SAY YES! HAHAHA!! THIS IS GREAT NOW YOU’RE GONNA BE MY HUSBAND! LET’S INVITE EVERYONE IT’LL BE THE BEST WEDDING EVER!”

“C-Caspar! Stop yelling-g!”

“I CAN’T I’M JUST TOO PUMPED FOR OUR WEDDING! WHEN SHOULD IT BE? I WANT IT TO BE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!”

“We c-can’t do it t-too s-soon. We have to plan-n.”

“WHY PLAN WHEN WE CAN GET MARRIED TOMORROW!?”

“T-Tomorrow!? That’s way too s-soon.”

“HOW ABOUT THE DAY AFTER INSTEAD!?”

“No. P-put me down r-right now, so I can slap some c-common sense into that b-beautiful face of yours-s.”

“AWW, LIN DID YOU JUST CALL ME BEAUTIFUL!?”

“I d-don’t know. I’m still in shock.”

“WELL STOP BEING IN SHOCK! WE HAVE A WEDDING TO PLAN!

“Whatever you s-say.”

Hope you like it! (and im really sorry if you didnt) 

[artemis-entreri]

[[ This post contains Part 2 of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Boundless, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: Generations: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #35 (#32 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (September 10, 2019)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Boundless and used above is originally done by Aleks Melnik. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

Contents:

I. Introduction

II. Positives     II.1 Pure Positives     II.2 Muddled Positives

III. Mediocre Writing Style (you are here)     III.1 Bad Descriptions     III.2 Salvatorisms     III.3 Laborious “Action”

IV. Poor Characterization     IV.1 “Maestro”     IV.2 Lieutenant     IV.3 Barbarian     IV.4 “Hero”     IV.5 Mother

V. World Breaks    V.1 Blinders Against the Greater World     V.2 Befuddlement of Earth and Toril     V.3 Self-Inconsistency     V.4 Dungeon Amateur     V.5 Utter Nonsense

VI. Ego Stroking     VI.1 The Ineffable Companions of the Hall     VI.2 Me, Myself, and I

VII. World Breaks     VII.1 No Homo     VII.2 Disrespect of Women     VII.3 Social-normalization     VII.4 Eugenics

VIII. What’s Next    VIII.1 Drizzt Ascends to Godhood    VIII.2 Profane Redemption    VIII.3 Passing the Torch    VIII.4 Don’t Notice Me Senpai

Mediocre Writing Style

I admire some authors for their lyrical phrases, some for their poignant imagery, some for their rapid-fire dialogues, and with so many others, for their ability to show a true mastery of language. I have never felt this way about Salvatore's literature, which will probably never win any awards for its diction if it remains consistent to its current level of quality. Salvatore has his moments, which I've described in the previous section, but sadly, they range from being vastly to overwhelmingly dwarfed by the rote and tedious writing practices he employs. It doesn't help that in addition to the employment of unimaginative diction, Salvatore writes a lot of long and laborious scenes full of words that serve little more than to fill up space. There is so much telling instead of showing, a problem further compounded by the exhausting amount of poorly-chosen anecdotes which he relates that, despite being a nonstop action book, Boundless is very hard to pick back up after putting it down. And, of course, there's the repetition of the same themes, of the same kind of things happening to the same characters, that certainly doesn't help the predictability.

Bad Descriptions

For every good turn of phrase I mentioned earlier, there exists a score of bad ones. If I were to give examples of all of them, with the other things I'd like to discuss, this article would end up being as long as the novel itself, so I'll simply point out the most cringe-worthy ones. 

The metaphor that takes the cake for the worst of the book is, "The horde had come, and now it pounced upon them misshapen humanoid forms, the wretched lesser demons known as manes, shambling out of the brush like an army of humans risen from the dead." Basically, what is happening here is that Salvatore pretty much wrote, "those demons came shambling out like zombies". It doesn't matter how much one dresses up a turd, the most one gets from the effort is a fancier-looking but just as stinky piece of excrement. Furthermore, the dressings that Salvatore uses in this example are flimsy and unsatisfactory in substance, with the vague adjective "wretched" that's as descriptive here as his customary usages of "magnificent"/"fine" and the tedious repetition in "humanoid" and "human". Additionally, it begs the question of why Salvatore specified an army of humans in a world in which the undead of all races would shamble, or, better yet, why not simply say "zombie", for a zombie is a prevalent and known theme in both the Realms and our world. It would've been one of the few ways Salvatore uses a shared concept without incurring a world break like he normally does. 

A close second in the diction mediocrity contest is, "as if Yvonnel's breath, blowing them out, was that of a magical dragon, one designed specifically against the life force of a demon." Why a "magical dragon"? Are there non-magical dragons that breathe magic? Not that there exists a type of dragon in Forgotten Realms lore with a breath weapon that is specifically designed against the life force of a demon. However, as is par for his course, to counteract lore not agreeing with his lazy constructions, Salvatore doesn't bother to research an appropriate in-universe analogy. He completely invents one but doesn't actually develop it, not that doing so would be appropriate in this context, but the creation of it is wholly unnecessary for the sake of a poor analogy. 

Another awful passage is, "with horrid creatures -- half drow and half spider -- all around the drow women and filtering back through the many shadows of the forest. Scores of these horrid mutants milled about..." It's bad enough to use the adjective "horrid" in an empty and vague way, but to do it twice in quick succession makes it seem like Salvatore doesn't know how to describe driders. By itself, a half-drow half-spider creature isn't inherently abominable. There's an increasingly large number of art pieces featuring dark elf arachnid centaurs, with beautiful humanoid faces and torsos attached to streamlined spider bodies that would even give arachnaphobes pause. What makes driders menacing, which Salvatore has described himself in the past, is that they're not these romanticized images of spider centaurs. Their humanoid torsos, rather than looking like they should belong to supermodels, are bloated and misshapen such that they're more reminiscent of the flesh beasts of nightmares. They have vicious mandibles protruding from their cheeks, sometimes multiple insectoid eyes, making their faces look more decidedly non-elven even with pointed ears. Admittedly, the physical appearance of driders has fluctuated through the D&D editions, but it's as though Salvatore couldn't be bothered to look up what their current iteration is. Maybe he did try and couldn't find a definitive answer, in which case he could've approached the drider's description in a more evocative way, for example by describing how the tips of their arachnid legs were sharp like swords digging into the earth, or perhaps by mentioning their aura of menace as they regarded the dwarves whom they towered over with hungry anticipation, as though the shorter folk were their cocooned victims waiting to be devoured. Or, even referencing how the driders came to be, the excruciating transformation process and fall out of favor with their goddess, both of which would've rendered them at least slightly unhinged. 

Some descriptions consist of fewer words, but are just as bad. For instance, Jarlaxle's bracers are at one point described as "magical wrist pouch". This evokes an imagery of literal pouches hanging from around his wrists, dangling like a pair of testicles in the wind, testicles that shoot out magical daggers into Jarlaxle's hands. Another similar example doesn't contain an analogy but is just as bad is, "a smallish man dressed in finery worthy of a noble house. His face was clean-shaven, his hair cut short and neatly trimmed." This description is so ambiguous and features adjectives that have been applied so frequently to other characters that it could have easily been Artemis Entreri, except it is someone quite different (Kimmuriel Oblodra). Putting aside how jarring it is to use "man" to describe male drow, there's a world break here in that drow shouldn't need to be clean-shaven, as they can't really grow facial hair, but at least there's the nice detail that Kimmuriel is apparently short-haired, contrary to what many assume of him to have long hair. Nonetheless, what happened to the usage of the word "short"? Furthermore, why not just state a height for Kimmuriel and put it into his character bible? To be fair, I've speculated that Salvatore doesn't use character bibles, but it's never too late to start. 

Salvatorisms

Boundless sees a return of what I've dubbed “Salvatorisms”, which are clichés and poor sentence structures that Salvatore abuses frequently. In Boundless, there's more than just those Salvatorisms dragging the narrative down. It's disappointing to see a professional author, especially one who'd been working in the field for over three decades, fail to follow a rule taught to amateur writers. Making the New York Times' Bestsellers' list does not make the usage of clichés, such as "merry band of misfits", acceptable. Especially considering how it's not even appropriate in the context that it's used for, namely, describing Bregan D'aerthe. Even though it's a priestess of Lolth who is considering the mercenary band this way, it's so incredibly unlikely that she'd think they were jolly, which the meaning of that cliché specifically includes. 

In Boundless, we also see a return of the “how [character] [action]ed!” sentence construction, after a refreshingly complete lack of any in Timeless. This is one of Salvatore's favorite ways to tell and not show, for stating how a certain thing performs a certain feat doesn't, ironically, actually ever convey how that thing is done. There's a new overused Salvatorism to add to his cliché stable, namely, the “up went”, “down went”, and other similar ways to open a sentence. There's nothing wrong with these kinds of phrases when used sparingly and with variety. As it is, the flavor of the text is quite intolerable, seasoned as it is with an excess of one type of additive. By the same token, in a fight scene between Arathis Hune and Zaknafein, Zaknafein's superior prowess is indicated by the sentence, "Except Zaknafein wasn't there". This sort of device can be effective to convey surprise and the unexpected, again, when used sparingly, but unfortunately, it is yet another one of Salvatore's favorite writing practices. The sentence is hardly even a proper sentence, but is used as its own paragraph.

The telling and not showing approach in Boundless extends beyond the diction. On numerous occasions, it's almost as if Salvatore couldn't be bothered to actually demonstrate how something is true, but instead, just tells us that it's the way it is. One way that he does this is through the usage of rhetorical questions, for instance, "Could anything be more invasive and traumatizing than having your body stolen from your control and turned against you?" I'm not sure if any of his readers can actually answer that question from personal experience. It's almost as though Salvatore did that purposely to minimize the possibility of someone realizing that different strokes exist for different folks and that the most traumatizing scenario for one person could be very different from that of another person. That aside however, a question like this leaves little room for imagination, and is even a bit bullying, for it corners the readers into having to answer "no" even while the scenario painted prior to it was not powerful enough to solidify that impression. 

Another way that Salvatore tells rather than shows is to use empty comparisons that lack a frame of reference. For instance, the reader is to understand Athrogate's strength and resolve through, "A lesser fighter would have fallen away in terror. A less sturdy person would have simply melted before the reeking horror." The problem with these statements is that they don't serve any purpose. They state the obvious, and are a poor attempt at being evocative. They have the same effect as simply stating that Athrogate stood his ground and didn't falter, except being more verbose and less effective. 

It's not just word usage that's repetitive. Boundless sees a continuation of the theme of having the same sort of things happen to the same characters. It's as though each character is a designated target for certain motifs, with those motifs not being applicable to other characters. For instance, Entreri appears to be the go-to target for torture, and after being made the one with the repeated childhood sexual assault, the sexual victimization in Menzoberranzan, the victim of rape by a succubus in Neverwinter and the over seven decades of enslavement, I'm getting very sick of seeing him the victim of yet another long-term grueling experience. Meanwhile, Drizzt is as holier-than-thou and full of sanctimony as he was in Timeless, and it's not a flattering look for him. I'm not sure if Salvatore thinks it is, but it isn't so much character consistency as stubborn obnoxiousness. In Drizzt's journal entry, he writes, "I fear that Zaknafein's transformation will not come in time to earn friendship, even familial love, from Catti-brie or from our child, and in that instance, it will not be in time to earn the love of Drizzt Do'Urden." Drizzt then goes on to state, "But he is my family by blood, and she is my family by choice. I have come to learn that the latter is a stronger bond." While the message that's attempted to be conveyed here is a very important one, the validity of it is harmed by the context. It's very unfair for Zaknafein to be presented as though he were more akin to the other Do'Urdens instead of the unconditionally loving father who didn't hesitate to put himself in harm's way, including dying in excruciating and humiliating ways so that his son could have a chance at freedom. This is yet another scenario in which Salvatore creates unnecessary drama while ignoring facets of his story that have genuine dramatic potential. Zaknafein is not the type of character with whom Drizzt should have to choose between family by blood and family by choice, as he's already shown that Zaknafein is trying his best to adapt to the new world. It is true that there are few opportunities for Drizzt to flaunt his moral beacon in Boundless, but there's nothing wrong with that, and should've just been left as it is, but it's as though Salvatore can't write a Drizzt novel without Drizzt having to be sanctimonious and preachy. It was wholly unnecessary to villainize a non-villainous character to repeat some of the same old tired writing practices. 

Also in the category of repetitive and tired themes, albeit one that doesn't further butcher the characters, is the catching of projectiles in one's cloak. This is a phenomenon that happens so frequently in the Drizzt books that had a reader no knowledge of the purpose of cloaks, they might think that their main purpose is to act as an anti-missile system. Cloaks originally became common because they protected the wearer from inclement weather while allowing access to the wearer's worn possessions. In D&D and other games, it became an additional equipment slot and as such, gained an practical value as well. A cloak without enhancing properties would actually serve as a detriment in a fight, acting as a loose and difficult to control extension of one's body that can be easily grabbed by the opponent, something that's accurately made a point of in The Incredibles. I suppose that there could exist a magical item like a Cloak of Missile Catching, but this isn't what any of Salvatore's characters ever wear. It's difficult to give Salvatore points for coming up with a creative use for what's basically an aesthetic item because it's just so impractical and unrealistic. It doesn't help that he repeats this motif so much that it approaches ego-stroking levels.

The second most major contributing factor to Boundless' tediousness is the obscenely large amount of recollections strewn throughout the book, making them overall more unsightly than the plastic polluting our modern day oceans. In the scenes set during the current timeline, almost at every turn we're given a history of what so-and-so is, or who so-and-so have associations with. These reviews, although brief, make up for their concision with their frequency. I can understand why Salvatore does this, for Timeless wasn't as standalone as he'd hoped, but his attempted method to rectify this fact in Boundless is more distracting than enlightening. Especially considering that much of the reviewed content is along the lines of, "Drizzt, trained in the ways of the monk by Grandmaster Kane", ergo, telling us how awesome Salvatore's protagonists are rather than shedding light into the significant events that shaped what is happening in the current book. When a significant event is mentioned, it is done so in such a cursory way that all a new reader would know is that something happened in the past that relates to what is happening presently, but otherwise it's like explaining different colors to someone who's never had vision before. For instance, "this was a trick Kimmuriel had used before, and very recently with Drizzt in Menzoberranzan, creating a telekinetic barrier that absorbed the power of every strike, magical or physical, holding it in stasis, ready for the magically armored person to release it back." This recap does manage to explain the relevant mechanic, however it also alludes to a very significant event, yet it's unclear what the purpose of it doing so is. The reference to what Drizzt did in Menzoberranzan doesn't say enough to allow anyone who hasn't read Hero to understand, but someone who's read Hero should remember the details of the climax of the book. So much of what Boundless presents is like this, retreads that make the novel tedious to read for those who have been reading, and probably only serve to further confuse those who haven't. Who is Salvatore writing for, then? Those who continue to throw money his way but never pay enough attention to what happens in his books to remember the climaxes? Are these the kinds of people that any author should point to as "proof" of their literary excellence?

Laborious "Action"

The one aspect that drives most of Boundless' tediousness is the sheer amount of long and boring action sequences that are wordy and not much of anything else. Salvatore's action scenes are more reminiscent of IKEA furniture assembly instructions than descriptive imagery, except that IKEA instructions are actually visual enough for one to use in constructing a pragmatic (and sturdy) physical object. Salvatore's action scenes are reminiscent of the type of smut in fanfiction that gives fanfiction a bad name, namely, cut and dried descriptions that are more like making a grocery list than painting a picture. At the very least, Salvatore's action scenes are not too anatomically ridiculous (yet), which makes them slightly better than the kind of fanfiction referenced. 

An example of a grocery list action scene is as follows:

There's so much going wrong in this passage. The inconsistent specificity of each element makes the whole feel like an incongruous collection of parts. Jarlaxle hooking his fingers on a jag in the stone is clear enough, as is flipping over, and rolling his feet can be understood even if vague, but how all of that ties together is as clear as a chunk of obsidian. How Jarlaxle pulled himself around the base of a mound isn't articulated, other than that he did it while keeping his momentum, which is superfluous because any acrobatic maneuver would keep its momentum because momentum is what makes those maneuvers possible. It's like the only basic physics concept that Salvatore understands is gravity, because "he fell with gravity" is one of the few things he doesn't spell out in his action scenes. In any case, specifics like if Jarlaxle went left or right aren't what's needed, but rather, how about some evocative imagery like, "he snapped like a whip around the sharp turn"? I'm not saying that's the correct analogy to use, I honestly don't know, because I have no idea what's supposed to be going on in this passage. The same is true of what's said of Zaknafein, which while a bit better, is still painfully dry. Some of the stuff doesn't make sense, for instance, how did Zaknafein leap on the wide base of the stalagmite? The base of a stalagmite is that which the stone formation grows out of, inside the rock itself, does Salvatore mean that Zaknafein propelled himself off of the side of the stalagmite near its base? The rest of the sequence, it's unclear what Zaknafein is flipping over and running along. Is it still the same stalagmite, or a different stalagmite? All of that is just words words words, except, of course, the one thing that's clear enough: that Drizzt is awesome and so is his dad.

Another grocery list action scene is, "A glance left, a glance right, and off he sprinted, up the side of a stalagmite mound, leaping, spinning, somersaulting, to hit the ground in perfect balance and at a full run." What this scene brings to mind is more along the lines of a Driver's Ed course followed by the Sky Dancer toy from the 90s rather than the agile moves of an acrobat. Again, an excess number of words are used to little effect, and all that's conveyed is, "Zaknafein is awesome". I almost feel like he should be clad in skin-tight black leather and be wearing high-tech sunglasses.

Yet another example of writing that only conveys how awesome Salvatore's characters are is, "the barbarian came to realize that this foe was far more akin to Drizzt or Entreri than to what he'd expect from a pampered Waterdhavian lord. The man's sword worked in a blur, every movement sending it at Wulfgar in a different angle, sometimes a slash, sometimes a stab, sometimes a punch from the hilt." The first sentence in this passage, although not describing any action, tells us a lot more about Wulfgar's opponent than the second sentence, which does actively describe the man's actions, even to a new reader whom wouldn't know about Entreri's history and what makes him what he is. Furthermore, there's a stuttered nature to the second sentence, with the "blur" description disagreeing with the choppy rhythm of the specified attacks. Rather than a blur, the noble's attacks feel more like a predictable pattern of programmed thrusts from an automated training dummy. 

Boundless wouldn't be the first Salvatore book in which I'd wondered if he'd confused himself with his writing. One example of what leads me to think so from this novel is:

What is even going on here? Did Salvatore switch Zaknafein and Jarlaxle's names by accident, intending for Zaknafein to be the one caught by surprise? Zaknafein's "don't wait for us!" suggests that he knows what's going on and has some level of confidence in the circumstances, yet as is demonstrated later in the passage, this is not the case. Indeed, later in the sequence (not shown), Jarlaxle is the one in control, deploying a back-up plan to guarantee their safety amidst the chaos. Yet, it's unlikely for Jarlaxle to scream, and Zaknafein to gasp, so perhaps Salvatore meant what he wrote. It's all too convoluted to tell, however. Further, while its a trifle nit-picky, wouldn't the command to "Let 'em fly, boys!" come before the quarrels were discharged? I mean, these are quarrels that do make things like stalactites explode, both powerfully AND beautifully, but dwarves have a lot of discipline.

Perhaps the most tedious action sequences are Zaknafein's extensive training montages, like the one in chapter four. It takes up literally forty percent of the chapter and proceeds in excruciatingly dry detail. The entirety of it is too long to quote here, but there are a lot of statements like, "hands across his belly to grab the hilts of his swords at his hips, right forearm over left", "he turned his right wrist as that sword came across bringing it vertical in its sweep, then shortening the cut, while the left went across perfectly horizontally, with full follow-through and even a step with the left foot in that direction", "he went to a series of same-hand, same-hip draws, where he brought forth the sword on his left hip with his left hand, right hand for the right", and so on. It's like Salvatore is writing The Dummy's Guide to Drow Swordfighting, as these sentences are more like step by step guide points than flowing combat moves. It's actually worse than that, because more than likely, these moves are more theatrical than actually practical, such that anyone who followed such a guide would indeed be a dummy, and quite a dead one at that if they expected to survive in drow society like that. And there's just so much of it, such that it begs the question of if Salvatore had a word count quota that he had to fill.

Finally, after a refreshing break away from it in Timeless, the standard Salvatore C-rated Hollywood stop motion fight scenes are back. Speaking to many members of the SCA and historical combat re-enacters and fencers, including ones who have read Salvatore's books, have taught me that most of the combat scenes, specifically concerning the usage of swords, are totally wrong. A consensus among the actual martial artists is that there's a lot of slashing when there should be stabbing, and the way that the characters conduct themselves in combat is more akin to sports than martial arts, being particularly evocative of hockey. It isn't surprising that Salvatore's inspiration comes from hockey, that is what he knows after all (more than swordsmanship and D&D anyway), but it seems that rather than improving his knowledge with research, he supplements it with popular themes in movies. Something like, "slowly they closed, though, until they were but a few strides away, when both, as if some silent understanding had passed between them, leaped into the air and roared" feels more like a transcription from a live action sequence, for in reality no purpose is served for two combatants to leap at each other roaring. It's a waste of energy, especially as the two have been aware of each other's prowess for a while and are not easily intimidated. If this scene was something that we were watching rather than reading, the sound effects might enhance the the drama, and while imagined sound effects can do the same for a written scene, something as bland as simply "roaring", just makes the whole scene banal.

[swanqueeneverafter]

31. Going Home, Pt.2

Storybrooke. Present. In Henry's Bedroom. (Pan touches a storybook page depicting the Dark Curse overtaking the Enchanted Forest. The page is flipped to show an image of the Evil Queen standing in front of her vault. Pan observes the various things in Henry's room. He picks up a comic book and puts it back down. The door creaks open.) Regina: “Lights out, young man.” Pan/Henry: "Mom. Your vault. Did you bring that over with you?” (He sits down on the bed.) Regina: “Yes, Henry, you know that.” Pan/Henry: “With all your magic?” Regina: (Folding her arms:) “Why are you asking all these questions?” Pan/Henry: “Because I might need that stuff to protect myself from Pan.” Regina: “Oh, honey, he can't hurt you. He's locked up in Gold's shop.” Pan/Henry: “But what if he gets out? What if... he finds a way to come after me?” Regina: (Sitting down:) “Magic isn't the answer. (She closes the storybook:) My vault is sealed shut for a reason. It's dangerous. I'll protect you. No matter what. (She smiles and sets aside the storybook:) Now, it's time for you to go bed. (She tucks him into bed and kisses him goodnight:) Goodnight.” (She flicks off the light, closes the door and exits the room. Pan hops out of bed, pulling aside the curtains and opens the window. He sticks his head out.) Pan/Henry: “She's wrong. Magic is the answer. It's time.” (At the town harbor, the Shadow is released from the sail by Pan. It flies off through the empty streets of Storybrooke.) Mills House. Foot Of The Stairs. (Regina heads down the staircase to double check the door is locked when she notices Emma pacing the foyer.) Regina: "Emma? I thought you'd gone?" Emma: (Stops pacing and notices the Mayor's pajamas:) "I can see that." Regina: (Pulling her gown together:) "Is there something you want?" Emma: "Actually...yeah. We need to talk." Regina: "Emma, we agreed that Henry should be in his own bed in familiar surroundings." Emma: "No, I know that. I meant that we need to talk." Regina: (Frowns:) "All right."

(The older woman folds her arms and leans on the banister waiting for Emma to begin.) Emma: (Awkwardly:) "There's something that... I need to tell you. Something that can't wait." Regina: "Miss Swan, after what we've just been through, I doubt that there's anything you have to say that could shock-" Emma: "I think I'm falling for you." Regina: (Shocked, softly:) "What?" Emma: "I know. And I know you lied to me when we were together before I... well, before I believed in magic. And yeah, it makes zero sense when you think about it. (She begins pacing again:) You cast a curse that ruined countless lives, including my parents, which caused a series of events that lead to me spending the majority of my life alone. I mean, My God, I should hate you, right?" Regina: (Nods:) "And yet?" Emma: (Stops pacing:) "And yet when I see how much you love our son, how there's nothing you wouldn't do to save and protect him, how could I possibly hate that?" Regina: (Descending the stairs by one cautious step:) "But you're right about me, Emma. I did all of those terrible things. I did lie to you, to Henry about who I am." Emma: "Yeah, but the crazy thing is... I don't care about who you were. Maybe me not knowing who you were was part of it. So that I could see past the Evil Queen and only know the woman you are now. The woman who loved and raised my son when I couldn’t. Our son." Regina: (Shakes her head:) "But how can you just ignore everything you now know about me?" Emma: "Because I understand you, Regina. I know what it's like to be betrayed and abandoned by the ones who should love us most. I know exactly how it feels having to do everything by yourself, alone. And that's what I was until I came to Storybrooke. Alone." Regina: "Until Henry brought you home." Emma: "Yes, and because he did, because of how we met, what if we were never destined to destroy each other at all? What if we were meant to save each other?” Regina: (Considers:) “What if you breaking the curse was just the beginning?” (Emma nods. There is silence between them for a long moment as they look at each other.) Emma: “And, since I’m being totally honest here, when I saw you reach into Pan’s chest and pull out our son’s heart?” Regina: “Yes?” Emma: “That was one of the sexiest damn things I’ve ever seen.” (The women share a smile. Then, slowly, Regina holds out her hand.) Regina: “I think it's time we made our own destiny, don't you?" Emma: (Taking her hand, smiling:) "That's exactly what I was thinking." (Regina squeezes Emma's hand, turns and quietly leads the savior upstairs.)

Storybrooke. Present. The Next Day. (At Granny's Diner, David and Mary Margaret are having lunch.) David: “I never thought Granny's lasagna could taste so good.” (Mary Margaret chuckles as Mr. Gold approaches.) Mr. Gold: “So how'd you like to wash it down with this?” (He sets down a small bottle containing liquid.) Mary Margaret: “Is that—?” Mr. Gold: “Yeah. An elixir. This will cure your Dreamshade poisoning once and for all.” David: “You really found a cure already?” Mr. Gold: “I am a man of my word.” David: “And I owe you nothing? No price of magic, no...” Mr. Gold: “On the house. But we are family now, so I'm sure should I ever need a favor, you'll be more than receptive.” David: (Nods:) “Thank you.” (Mr. Gold exits.) Mills House. Present. (Despite the rest of Storybrooke's population going about their day, both the Sheriff and Mayor of the town remain blissfully asleep. Eventually, after turning over, Emma slowly opens her eyes. Taking a moment to remind herself of the night's events, a broad smile forms on the blonde woman's lips. Looking over at the still dozing woman next to her, Emma admires the older woman's unguarded, elegant visage. Musing to herself as to how someone so beautiful can command such fear from those who knew her as the Evil Queen. Distracted as she is by her bed mate, Emma is slow to realise they are not alone. Her attention caught by movement in her periphery, the Sheriff turns her head and immediately reacts. Pulling the bed covers to her body tightly, Emma's panic renders her momentarily mute as she finally sees her son standing in the doorway staring at the scene before him.) Emma: (Her mouth dry, uncooperative:) "R-Regina. (Nudges the brunette with her knee:) Regina wake up!" (Slowly, languidly, the Mayor rouses from her slumber.) Regina: (Annoyed, half asleep:) "Let the peasants look after themselves for a day. Bunch of whiners." Emma: (Panic-stricken:) "We've got bigger problems right now, trust me!" (Frowning, Regina looks at the distraught blonde then, still sleepily, begins to sit up.) Regina: "All right, Miss Swan, what's- (Regina finally follows the blonde's line of sight and stares, jaw agape, at her son, who has not moved or changed his expression:) Henry!" (Now both fully awake, the women look to each other and then back to their son as a flurry of explanations and desperate attempts to mollify the boy spew forth from each of them. ‘Henry’, for his part does not say a word, merely turning and closing the door behind him. As Emma flings the bed covers off herself and tries to find her clothing, Regina collapses back on the bed, too mortified to even move.)

Storybrooke. Granny’s Diner. Mary Margaret: “What are you waiting for? Drink it. (David uncaps the bottle top and chugs down the entire elixir:) How do you feel? (David takes in a deep breath as the elixir takes effect. He pats the area where the Dreamshade wound existed, and then smiles before kissing Mary Margaret:) What are you thinking?” David: “Well, I'm thinking maybe we could finally start on that baby. (Suddenly, Mary Margaret notices something behind David. She looks down; crestfallen:) Okay, I didn't mean right now.“ Mary Margaret: “Emma didn't listen to us.” (David glances behind. Two tables away, Neal is sipping his drink alone while staring out the window.) David: “Ah. Yeah, I've got this.” (He grabs his coat and heads out.) Neal: (Still glancing out of the window:) “I know what you’re thinking. (Looks to Mary Margaret:) I think you and I need to talk.” (Surprised, Mary Margaret nods mutely and gets up to move over to Neal’s table.) Storybrooke. Present. (Near the ocean, Emma sits, typing on her mobile phone, with an uneasy expression. David comes up to her.) David: “Isn't Granny's that way?” Emma: “Funny. Did Neal send you?” David: “No, he has no idea I am here, but when I saw him sitting in that table alone, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you?” Emma: “Yeah, I'm fine.” (Resumes typing.) David: “Emma.” (He sits down next to her.) Emma: “It's not Neal, it's Henry... and Regina.” David: “Ah. Did you tell her how you feel?” Emma: “Oh yeah. That’s not the problem. (As David looks at her, sighs:) Remember the morning after Mary Margaret and I returned from the Enchanted Forest? (David frowns, trying to think:) When Henry and I walked in on you...” David: “Oh. (Chuckles:) Yeah. (As Emma looks down, realisation dawns:) Oh! (Gulps:) You and Regina... and Henry?” Emma: “Yeah. (Holds up her phone:) Regina’s on damage control right now and she thought it best if I left.” David: “So you came here?” Emma: “Yep. Just sitting here, debating whether or not to drown myself.” David: (Chuckles:) “I know it seems bad now, but Henry had to find out about you two eventually, right?” Emma: “Not that way! (As David shakes his head sympathetically:) He didn’t even react. He just stared at us and walked away.” David: “He was probably in shock.” Emma: (Sighs, cringing:) “It’s not just that. He doesn't seem like himself. He barely looked at his storybook last night.” David: “He went through a lot in Neverland.” Emma: “I know. He just seems quiet, closed off somehow. (Holds up her phone:) And this won’t have helped matters.” David: “No wonder you forgot about Neal. Look, I probably wouldn't worry about it. We're all recovering.” Emma: “I know. I just can't shake the feeling something bad is still going to happen and I need to do everything I can to stop it.” David: “Emma, you can't think like that.” Emma: “But bad things do keep happening.” David: “So do good things. But if you think like that, you'll miss out. There's more to life than living for the next fight. You know, you gotta look for the moments.” Emma: “Moments?” David: “Yes, life is made up of moments. Good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living.” Emma: “Well, I seem to be a magnet for the bad ones.” David: “All the more reason to look for the good moments in between the bad ones.“ Emma: “And you think having lunch with Neal is a good moment?” David: (Shakes his head:) “I may not understand it, but you’ve made your choice with Regina. I think the least you can do is let Neal know where he stands. Come on, I'll give you a lift to Granny's.” (They link arms while walking.) Emma: “Are you sure Mary Margaret’s gonna accept this?” David: “She’ll come around. Like you said, there’s a lot of history there. Emma, as long as you’re happy, we’re happy. (They walk a few paces:) Besides, your mother isn’t armed, we are.” (They laugh.)

Storybrooke. Present. (In the hallway of Granny's Diner, Hook walks up some steps and runs straight into Tinker Bell, who is coming out of the ladies' room.) Tinker Bell: “Hook. Are you okay?” Hook: “I'm fine, love. (She smiles and begins walking away, but he stops her by placing his hooked hand on her shoulder:) The question is, are you?” Tinker Bell: “Why wouldn't I be?” Hook: “Well, I know Storybrooke can be a disorienting place if you're not used to it. Perhaps a drink to help settle you in?” (He holds up his rum bottle.) Tinker Bell: “We both know you want more than a drink. You want me to help take your mind off Emma.” Hook: “Emma? Who's Emma? I only see you.” Tinker Bell: “I may have lost my wings, but I haven't lost my dignity. That's never gonna hap—” (A scream emits from outside. They both rush out of the diner to investigate as David and Emma step out of the truck. Another scream is heard.) Emma: “What the hell was that?” (The screaming occurs again; only louder.) David: “There. (He runs off towards the sound as Tinker Bell, Emma and Hook follow. Near the steps of the nunnery, Mother Superior is fleeing from the Shadow. She attempts to head up into the convent, but the Shadow grabs and rips away her shadow. Mother Superior collapses lifelessly on the ground. David kneels down to check her pulse:) She's gone.” Tinker Bell: “Why would the Shadow kill her?” Hook: “No idea, love. But I do know the Shadow only takes orders from one person.” Emma: “Pan.” Storybrooke. Present. (At Regina's house, Pan is reading the storybook.) Regina: “Henry. (She enters his room:) Come with me. Something's happened.” (Pan smiles.)

Storybrooke. Present. Outside The Convent. (Mary Margaret arrived with Neal and watches as David and Emma cover up Mother Superior's body with a blanket. Pan and Regina arrive.) Regina: “What the hell happened?” David: “The Shadow. It killed her.” Regina: “Pan's shadow? I trapped it on the sail.” Emma: “Yeah, well, it got free.” Neal: “Look, let's go back to the ship and get the candle. If it strikes again, we need to be able to capture it.” (He leaves as Hook and Tinker Bell follow.) Emma: “Pan's behind this, I know it.” Regina: “He's trapped in a box under the floor of Gold's shop.” Emma: “Who else would be doing this?” Pan/Henry: “So, Pan can still hurt me.” Regina: “We don't know that.” Mary Margaret: “We have to assume he's still a threat.” Emma: “And that he's after Henry.” Pan/Henry: “Then what am I doing here?” David: “He's right. He's not safe out in the open.” Pan/Henry: (To Regina:) “You'll protect me, right?” Regina: “Yes, of course.” (She embraces him.) Emma: “Go. We'll take care of the Shadow. (Pan and Regina turn to leave:) Regina, wait.” (Pan continues walking while Regina stops.) Regina: “What?” Emma: “Keep a close eye on him.” Regina: “I already said I would.” Emma: “I know. He just doesn't seem quite himself.” Regina: “Really? And you don’t think that has anything to do with him walking in on his mothers-” Emma: “No, I didn't... I mean besides that.” Regina: “Our son has been through way more than any twelve year old has any right to and it’s still not over. Maybe he wants me when he's frightened. You forget—I have ten years of soothing his nightmares under my belt. He's fine.” Emma: “Hey, don’t get defensive here. It's not about you, Regina. I just have a gut feeling.” Regina: “Well, maybe you can use that gut feeling to find the Shadow and I’ll take care of our son.” (She exits and rejoins Pan.) Pan/Henry: “So where are you taking me?”

Regina: “The one place in Storybrooke the Shadow can never get to. The place where I keep my magic. (The scene shifts to Pan and Regina walking up to the vault in the cemetery. Regina unlocks the door. Inside, she uncovers the secret staircase under her father's tomb and they head downstairs to the vault area:) Promise you won't touch anything?” Pan/Henry: “I promise.” (Smiles.) Storybrooke. Present. (On the streets, David, Emma and Mary Margaret run towards the pawnshop just as Belle and Mr. Gold are exiting the store.) Mr. Gold: “No, I'm afraid we're closed. Whatever crisis you're dealing with, I'm done for the day.” Belle: “Rumple.” Emma: “Pandora's Box. Give it to me.” Mr. Gold: “Why would I do that?” Emma: “We need to open it.” Mr. Gold: “And let Pan escape? What are you crazy?” Mary Margaret: “Somehow he's controlling the Shadow from inside the box. Henry's life is in danger.” Mr. Gold: “And you think letting Pan out will change that?” Emma: “Yes. Because we can stop him finally and forever.” Mr. Gold: “All due respect, Miss Swan, we barely succeeded in apprehending him the first time. If I've learned one thing, it's not to tempt fate.” Emma: “I am not looking to apprehend him. Wouldn't you rather be sure he's gone?” Mr. Gold: “Well, what do you have in mind?”

[tapatapreview]

November 06, 2020 at 01:19AM https://ift.tt/3n3FoWJ Gaming

Dirt 5 is a really completely different recreation to the earlier three entries in Codemasters’ off-road racing sequence. Dirt Rally and its sequel spun the sequence off in a simulation-based route, interesting to rally purists with its genuine method, uncompromising issue, and steep studying curve. Dirt 4 adopted swimsuit with one other smattering of point-to-point rally races, however crucially made the expertise accessible for informal racing followers by introducing a extra forgiving dealing with mannequin. With a 3rd Dirt Rally already in growth, Codemasters is trying to diversify the sequence’ mainline entries by returning to the arcade spectacle and histrionics of Dirt’s early years with Dirt 5.

This a lot is obvious from the outset, as Dirt 5 latches onto the identical jovial competition vibes that permeated all through Dirt 2–complete with a customizable lanyard, vibrant colours, and an upbeat soundtrack. The profession mode takes you on a globetrotting journey that encompasses a wide range of completely different racing disciplines, however there isn’t any signal of any co-drivers relaying pacenotes, nor are there any conventional point-to-point rally occasions. Dirt 5 distances itself from the sequence’ current previous by being an unabashed arcade racer that is made up of brief, action-packed skirmishes the place you are consistently buying and selling paint with a pack of different drivers. There’s an infectious vitality to the entire thing that is mirrored in a dealing with mannequin that sees you hurl its vehicles across the observe with relative ease.

Dirt 5 performed on PC

Dirt 4 could have featured a driving college that supplied classes on weight switch and the right way to execute pendulum shifts, however Dirt 5 renders that information pointless. Getting round most corners is so simple as slowing down earlier than pulling on the handbrake to lurch your automobile sideways and drift round every mud-swept flip. There’s not much more to it than that, buying and selling any significant depth for approachability that veers too far towards simplicity. Collisions are tame, particularly when mixed with a listless injury system, and the physics mannequin usually throws up some oddities each time a automobile goes airborne. This is not sufficient to sap the enjoyable out of the expertise, however there’s all the time a nagging feeling that Dirt 5 is not extracting probably the most out of those automobiles. Any rip-roaring moments are weighed in opposition to others which are only a tad boring as a consequence of its facile and uninspired dealing with. As such, the plethora of tracks, and their various climate programs, achieve added significance all through Dirt 5’s profession mode.

You’ll drive across the hills and favelas surrounding Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, hurtle via the picturesque fishing village of Henningsvær with the Northern Lights as a surprising backdrop, and drift throughout the frozen East River beneath the Roosevelt Island Bridge in New York. There are additionally excursions to China and its dense bamboo forests, races via the scorching Arizona desert, and treacherous visits to the Himalayas. This medley of locales is important, not solely from a visible level of view–what with their spectacular scope and exaggerated depictions–but due to the number of surfaces and climate you will encounter throughout your travels.

There is not a discernible influence in your automobile’s dealing with when racing on gravel, mud, or filth, and that continues to be true whether or not you are darting across the observe in an iconic Subaru Impreza S4 or sitting behind the wheel of the electrical Audi AI:TRAIL quattro–which each seems and sounds prefer it must be in Death Stranding. The solely outliers are heavy snow and ice, with the latter having its personal devoted occasion kind, Ice Breakers. Heavy snow causes your automobile to understeer because the tires get slowed down within the slush, whereas the alternative happens on ice, the place an absence of traction makes the handbrake superfluous. These surfaces power you to change your method and add some much-needed subtlety to Dirt 5’s dealing with mannequin.

They’re additionally complemented by a climate system that has the studio’s DNA written throughout it. Dirt 5 is the primary recreation within the sequence not developed at Codemasters’ Southam headquarters. Instead, growth duties have fallen to the corporate’s Cheshire studio, which beforehand flew underneath the banner of Evolution Studios and developed the likes of Motorstorm, Driveclub, and most just lately Onrush. Extreme climate is a staple of these video games, and that continues to be true in Dirt 5, with electrical storms, heavy snowfall, and torrents of rain all being frequent occurrences as you bounce from one observe to a different. It’s boisterous and over-the-top however provides the type of white-knuckle drama that hasn’t been seen in racing video games since Motorstorm Apocalypse.

Aside from being a feast for the eyes, climate generally has an impact on the floor of a observe, too. As snow continues to fall, you will see it steadily construct up on the highway with every successive lap, making the latter levels of a race very completely different from the sooner ones. Rain and snow may impede your imaginative and prescient when racing at night time, forcing you to make use of the lights dotted across the observe for steerage. By the top of most races, your automobile represents a busy canvas of your most up-to-date exploits, coated wheel to wheel within the remnants of whichever component and floor you had been simply driving via. It’s inherently enjoyable, and makes it straightforward to neglect in regards to the limp dealing with if you’re battling for first place as lightning strikes illuminate the night time sky.

Inclement climate in Dirt 5

Gallery

There’s an honest number of occasions on provide as nicely, even when it is troublesome to inform a few of them aside. Ultra Cross gives circuit-based races in rally vehicles, that includes classics such because the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo VI and Ford RS200, and trendy machines just like the Citroen C3 R5 and WRX Peugeot 208. Stampede, in the meantime, will put your hefty 4×4’s suspension to the check, with races happening on rugged terrain stuffed with jumps and undulating obstacles like boulders and piles of mud. Dirt 5 even introduces American Sprint Cars for the primary time within the sequence. These ludicrously overpowered machines are outfitted with huge spoilers to stop them from taking pictures off into the stratosphere, and guiding them round an oval observe is not so simple as it sounds.

If you do not fancy sure occasion sorts, the profession mode additionally emphasizes participant selection, supplying you with the choice to decide on branching paths that concentrate on the occasions you wish to play. Outside of this, nevertheless, the profession mode is pretty hole. You can choose completely different sponsors that reward you with beauty objects like liveries and stickers, however that is so far as it goes. The considerably shocking inclusion of a narrative rounds out the profession, as Nolan North and Troy Baker face off as rival rally drivers. The narrative is informed through temporary podcasts hosted by Donut Media’s James Pumphrey and Nolan Sykes, and so they handle to seize a conversational tone that is each pure and plausible. Listening to those soundbites whereas sitting on the occasion choose display comes throughout as an inelegant option to inform a narrative, although. Your function can also be inconsequential, and it wraps up with an anticlimactic finale that makes you query why this story was even included.

Dirt 5 distances itself from the sequence’ current previous by being an unabashed arcade racer that is made up of brief, action-packed skirmishes.

Outside of the profession mode, Playgrounds is new to the sequence, providing a Trackmania-esque degree creator and sharing instrument that exhibits some promise. There’s already a convincing recreation of an X Games observe, and the required inclusion of Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road, simply to call a couple of. Hopefully there’s an viewers for it that may ultimately develop and put its instruments to the check to assemble some fascinating tracks. Aside from the standard slew of on-line races, there are additionally a variety of celebration video games that may be performed both on-line or with as much as 4 gamers through cut up display. This sees the introduction of Vampire, a brand new variant on Dirt 3’s Outbreak mode that duties one participant with infecting the others by bumping into them.

It’s this lightheartedness that helps to distinguish Dirt 5 from the hardcore simulation of Dirt Rally. Splitting up the 2 disparate sides of this sequence with such a daring line seems like a wise transfer on Codemasters’ half. It permits Dirt Rally to go in a extra genuine and uncompromising route, whereas the mainline entries proceed to indulge within the sequence’ arcade sensibilities. Dirt 5 would not fairly stick the touchdown as a consequence of its simplistic dealing with mannequin, however there’s nonetheless loads of enjoyable available when racing door to door in an extreme snowstorm or throwing a Porsche 911 R-GT down the aspect of a mountain in a frenetic race to the underside. It would not attain the heights of Dirt 2, however that recreation’s affect is keenly felt in Dirt 5. If the sequence continues alongside this path, it will not be lengthy till it is hovering excessive once more.

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[helplesslyinlovewithcharacters]

Going Undercover - Barry Allen x Reader

“This is so stupid” Barry laughed at my obvious annoyance, continuing to survey the racks of suits in front of him.

“It’s a mission, Bruce needs our help” His tone was patient and humorous, clearly finding my aggravation entertaining.

“But I’m not even part of the team!” Barry sent me a warning look, inadvertently telling me not to talk so loudly about the Justice League in public.

“You are part of the team, you help us a lot more than you realise” His words were earnest and on any other day the compliment would’ve made me blush but I was too irritated for that today. I really didn’t see myself as part of the team, I had prophetic dreams that could help them but when the real, planet threatening problems arose they were the ones to go out and risk their lives to save others. As I opened my mouth to protest, he silenced me by pulling a suit out of the rack and showing it to me.

“No”

“What’s wrong with this one?!” It was his turn to be annoyed now, this being the fourth suit I’d turned down. Laughing, I pointed out that the suit was too dated for the aliases we were portraying. He sighed in frustration before returning it to the rack. We both continued to search the shop, feeling out of place amongst the millionaires shopping there. 

“What about this one?” I held the suit up against my body so that he could see it properly.

“Do you think it’s good enough?”

“Would I have picked it if I didn’t?” A laugh bubbled from my mouth at he directed an eye roll towards me. He took the suit out of my hands and headed towards the changing rooms. As I patiently waited outside for him to come out the shop assistant walked over to me, asking if I needed help with anything.

“Do you have any ties? My-uh-my fiancé is trying on a suit and we’d like to see what it would look like with a tie” My words were rushed and rambled, embarrassed by addressing Barry as my fiancé seeing as we were just friends. Thankfully she mistook my nerves for excitement, rushing off to fulfil my request. 

A few moments later, Barry stepped out of the changing room, nervously fiddling with the sleeves of the jacket. My breath hitched in my throat, Barry and I may just be friends but that didn’t mean I was oblivious to his handsomeness. He misread my admiration as disapproval.

“What? Is it bad? Oh god, it’s really bad, isn’t it? I’ll take it off” He began to shrug the jacket off his shoulder before I rushed towards him. Taking the material in my hands, I straightened the fabric over his toned body and fixed his collar.

“You look incredible, I was just shocked” I paused to let out a soft laugh “You clean up surprisingly well”

Barry’s cheeks painted themselves red, shocked by the bluntness of my words. “T-thanks”

“No problem, the shop assistant is getting us some ties, if she asks anything, we’re engaged” This time he really did look flustered, he was about to question me when she returned with a handful of ties.

“There you go, let me know if you need anything else” I thanked her before she bustled off to help other customers. Picking up a deep, forest green tie, I leant up on my tiptoes to place it around Barry’s neck. I silently admired the way the black colour of the suit jacket made his pale skin glow as he bent his neck to make my job easier. Flustered by my closeness as I neatly arranged the tie he stuttered out “Why green?”

Looking at him with a smile I stepped back, pleased with the pairing. “Because my dress is green and traditionally couples match”

“R-right” His blush spread down his face onto his neck, he stood in front of me gesturing to himself whilst still fidgeting with his sleeves. “So-uh-should we get it?”

Stepping into the ridiculously high heels Diana had picked, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The flowing green dress tumbled over my hips and fell around my ankles. If I hadn’t been so nervous I might have been able to appreciate the elegant but minimal makeup Diana had done for me, seeing as I rarely wore any. Instead, I was left fidgeting anxiously, my fingers playing with the pretend engagement ring adoring my ring finger.

“(Y/n), you ready?”

“Yeah” My voice was weak and breathless, my nerves overwhelming me. Upon hearing the fear in my voice Barry opened the door.

“Hey, everything will be absolutely fine, I promise-” The rest of his words disappeared when he took in my appearance. He silently stared at me before regaining the ability to speak. “Y-you look so beautiful”

My cheeks burned, I couldn’t comprehend how someone as beautiful as Barry could see the same things in me. Shaking it off, I picked up my clutch. “S-shall we go?” 

We shared an anxious smile before linking arms and walking towards our waiting car outside.

“Wow”

“I know, I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere so fancy” Barry and I chuckled at our shared amazement, neither of us had ever attended an event quite like this. The room was glowing as couples in a spectrum of jewelled colours waltzed around the room. Tables filled with food of every description lined the walls and a crystal bar glittered in the corner.

“Should we dance? We’ll be able to survey the room that way” Thankfully that was our only job for tonight, we were on the look out for any suspicious behaviour as Bruce and Diana took care of the real issues behind the scenes. Nodding his head, Barry guided me towards the dance floor, his hand gently resting on the small of my back. I tried to hide the way my breath hitched at his actions, I’d spent so much time with Barry recently that I was finding it increasingly difficult to just see him as a friend. Making our way through the crowd we found ourselves on the edge of the dance floor. I shyly met his eyes as I placed my hand on his shoulder, my other hand joining his. Barry’s eyes glanced at the ring resting on my finger as we began to waltz around the room.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” he joked, humour making his tone light. I smiled up at him, leaning to whisper in his ear.

“Bruce thought it would be a good idea, something about being serious and committed? I don’t know, it’s meant to flesh out our aliases” He laughed at my rambled explanation.

“Right, that clears things up”

“Shut up, you’re meant to be hopelessly in love with me not an annoying arse” This only caused him to laugh more, but he pulled me closer to him anyway. His scent invaded my senses and muddled my mind as I rested my head on his shoulder, a blush heating my cheeks from his proximity. We continued to sway around the room as the band started another song.

“You see anything?” He moved to whisper in my ear, flustering me further.

“No, not yet” I raised my head, my face only a breath away from his. His eyes were shining with love and adoration, but I knew it wasn’t real - Barry has done this type of mission before, he knew how to play the game. I had to force myself to look away, unsure of what I’d do if he got any closer.

“My feet are killing me” I groaned as Barry and I made our way up the path towards Bruce’s mansion. We shared an exhausted smile, spending an evening dancing together had been fun but tiring, especially as we didn’t manage to spot anything.

“C'mere” Barry gestured towards himself.

“What?” Sighing he turned towards me, bending down to gently scoop me up from behind my knees as he wrapped an arm around my back. He started to carry me bridal style whilst I squealed in surprise.

“Wrap your arms around my neck, you need to hold on tightly” Knowing what he was going to do, I smiled in excitement before doing what he asked and burying my head in the crook of his neck. He asked me if I was ready before he began to run at lightning speed. Within seconds we made it to my room, much to my amazement.

“That. Was. So. Cool” He laughed at my childlike amazement, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Barry moved to put me down, much to my disappointment. I let him but I kept my arms wrapped around his neck. Looking up at him I got lost in the depths of his hazel brown eyes. I was unable to say anything as I was overwhelmed by his beauty. His eyes flicked to my lips and then back to my eyes, it was clear he was trying to make a decision. Tentatively, he leant down, placing a whisper of a kiss to the corner of my mouth. A whimper escaped my mouth, already craving more of his intoxicatingly touch. Threading my finds through his thick hair, I pulled his face back down to mine. I pushed up on my tiptoes, connecting our lips in a tender kiss. The longer we stayed pressed together the more heated the kiss became, our teeth clashing and noses being squashed together. We both pulled away, our lips swollen and our eyes hooded. I was rendered speechless by the love that shone through his eyes for the second time that night. He kept opening and closing his mouth, clearly unsure of what to say.

“I-I-uh-(y/n) I-” He turned away from me, angry with himself for not being able to say the words he’d been desperate to tell me for months now. Muttering curses under his breath, he turned back around. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands were anxiously gripping the sleeves of his suit.

“I really like you” The words, however simple they were, seemed to cause Barry pain as he kept his eyes shut. What he didn’t see was the way my heart swelled at his confession or the way an uncontrollable smile grew across my face. He flinched under my touch as I placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Barry-”

“No, it’s okay. I n-never expected you to return my feelings” His voice was small and fragile. He looked away from me, stubbornly refusing to meet my eye as his jaw clenched. I returned my fingers to his hair, pulling him down to my level again. Looking into the mystifying depths of his eyes, I pressed a soft kiss to his lips, trying to pour all of my emotions into it. Pulling away, I watched a blush paint his cheeks pink.

“I like you as well Barry, you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met” He smiled before pulling me into his chest and reconnecting our lips.

[kayostesting]

"8HIT" makes for a really good Training Montage. "Abstract Nonsense" by Rin. Apparently her being suicidal and with black hair contributes to the sheer awesomeness of this song. "Adolescence" uses the tune of "Cendrillon" and renders it better. Len's a capella cover of "Ark" (originally by the band Sound Horizon) is absolutely amazing. Rin and Len's "Astral Domination" has some awesome guitar and vocaloid-work. Len's cover of Justin Bieber's "Baby". Haters to the left! Their cover of "Bad Bye". Once again, the Kagamines cover one of Miku's songs and make it even more awesome (be warned, this video is somewhat disturbing). Rin's "Black*Rock Shooter", backup voices courtesy of Len. "Bloody My Doll" shows that Len tops Edward Cullen any day. "Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder", Len's version. The original Rin version was already great, but Len completely tops it. "Candy Psychologist" by Rin. Just like the name, it's addictive. "Childish War" made by Giga-P and sung by both, both the song and the PV are awesome, very upbeat and catchy. Sibling rivalry at its finest. "City Lights" by PowaPowa-P. "Cloud", an awesome Rin song. "Cosmic Star" by emon, for Rin Kagamine. A very sweet, beautiful song. "CULTURE Liberalization Ward (BUNKA)" features the Kagamines as detectives! Here's to hoping that they'll be able to solve any case that comes their way! "Cursed Glasses: Stray Girl In Her Lenses" by Rin (featuring Gakupo) is outrageously funny and weird at the same time. "Darkness 6". There are no words. "Death Should Have Not Taken Thee!". A parody song of Dragon Quest I made by Jesus-P. Warning, it's EXTREMELY catchy. And has an equally catchy sequel, "Your Adventure Log Has Vanished!". "Discotheque Love" for Len, from Lelele-P. Rin's "Dolls", combined with the very well made video, is incredibly beautiful and touching. Knowing the lyrics also makes it even more tear jerking. "Dreamy Cherry Blossoms" is about a rich girl (Rin) that's getting married in a little while that happens to fall in love with a violinist (Len). It's also note worthy that the art style in the PV is just as beautiful as the song that accompanies it. "Electric Angel" has excellent vocals by both Rin and Len, as well as a very catchy beat and awesome electronica elements (not surprising considering the name of the song). PowaPowa-P's "Equation×**". Len's cover of "-Error". Has some of the best vocalizations by Len. Rin's version sounds rather cute but still good. "A Faint Wish" and its sequel song, "A New Millenium" are very heart-warming. From the same series, we also have "Utopia", which is not quite as heartwarming. "Falling Falling Snow" is such a beautiful song with a simple yet touching PV. Rin's "Fate of Soul", an epic song that manages to be dreamy and powerful at the same time. "Fire Flower" is definitely one of Len's best. "First Virus Resistance". That is all. "Flames of Yellow Phosphorus" by mothy. Disturbing, sad, and absolutely epic. "Gekokujou", hands down. Nothing'll get you hoisting a yellow standard quicker. "Gemini" is just d'aaaaawwwww. "Gigantic O.T.N" is about Len gushing over his enormous penis. No really! You'll love it. PowaPowa-P's "Girl A". "Himitsu ~Oath of Black~" anyone? It's fantastic, and the story is heartbreaking. "Hot Cocoa" by Len is a very motivational song to listen to if you're trying to get work done. It's about Len trying to finish a homework assignment that he put off until the night before it was due. Rin's "I Like You, I Love You" is an adorable song about a shy girl's awkward attempts at a love confession. Len's cover of "Ievan Polkka" (the entire song, not just the leekspin gibberish portion; and in good Finnish too). "Imagination Forest", originally for IA and covered by Rin Sweet APPEND, the mood is captured very nicely and this version is just as nice as the original... and then there's the added bonus of Len coming in for the song's climax. Another amazing AVTechNO song, "Innocence". Awesome use of Len's Power append, sexy heavy beat, and one Epic Riff. "INTERSTELLAR", a Kagamine Rin original by FROMAGE. "Iroha Song" by Rin is a vibrant rock ballad with a traditional Japanese sound about being consumed by love and then losing it (oh, and bondage). "Jabberwocky Jabberwocka" sung by their appends is extremely catchy. The flashy PV doesn't hurt either. "Jutenija" by DATEKEN. Think priestesses singing in a desert temple and you're almost there. "Juvenile" from Dixie Flatline, a nice R&B song with smooth singing by Rin and great rapping from Len. "Karakuri Burst" is an absolutely amazing song. Len looking quite sexy (and non-shota) in that military uniform certainly doesn't hurt, either (also, please note that 卍 itself is not a symbol of the Third Reich — the Nazi symbol faces the other direction). "Karma". Bro. The composition is fantastic, as is Rin's voice, and that scream! "Kokoro". Just... "Kokoro". Len's version or Rin's version, there's really nothing better...except, of course, the mixed version. "Last Stage" and its Tear Jerker alternate ending, "Last Battle". The Synchronicity triology: "Looking for You in the Sky", "Paradise of Light and Shadow" and "Requiem of the Spinning World". "Lost Destination". Act 1 Len with Power, Cold, and Serious Append with an almost Crusader-like, cynical atmosphere. It is truly epic. This version uses Len Append Power and Cold, along with beta versions of Kaito Append Normal, Soft, and Whisper. Yes, Kaito. Append. Rin's "Lost Life" is just so rockin' awesome,and the high pitched voice fits the song perfectly. "The Lost One's Weeping" by Neru. It's a powerful rock song that'll get your head bopping... if the lyrics telling the story of a kid who's gone empty from exceeding pressure to succeed doesn't hit you in the feels too hard. This remix of "Love is War" is better than the original. "Magical Kitty Len Len" is more of a Funny Moment but still awesome nonetheless. "Main Character", a Len song. Awesome tuning, awesome music, but slightly Tear Jerker lyrics. "Make a Wish" is an excellent use of Rin's voice. "Meltdown". By far one of Rin's best. "Memory", a vocal version of the Leitmotif of the title character of the video game Ib sung in Surprisingly Good English by Rin. Ignoring the Engrish, "MIDI MASTER!!" will leave you clicking replay over, and over, and over again... Len's "Monochrome Dream Eater" has an extremely catchy beat. The voice of Len in it is nice, low and just ridiculously fitting for the song's tone. One of Len's best solo songs. Append (Power, Cold, Serious) Len's cover of the Girls' Generation song "Mr. Taxi" is amazing. "Never" is a pretty upbeat song (that comes with Len rapping!) about... eating natto. Their cover of Limahl's "The Never Ending Story". "Noiz bom", "Noiz Are NEL" and "DARK NEL" by AVtechNO are absolutely great. You know, let's just say anything by AVtechNO! Rin's cover of "Only My Railgun" completely overpowers the original. Their cover of "Our 16bit Warz" by their V 4 X voicebanks is just plain amazing, and they sound incredibly realistic. "Pantsu Nugeru Mon", or "I can take off my panties!", is definitely a lot more innocent than the title would suggest, and contains probably the best use of panties as a metaphor (for the care and control of her guardians) that we'll ever see in a a song. The story is about Rin going through puberty, standing on the border between childhood and adulthood, as she is torn between the freedom but responsibility of adulthood and the restrictions but irresponsibility of childhood. The song is very catchy, too! When "Paradichlorobenzene" and "Anti-Chlorobenzene" combine. Here's a Project Diva version of the combination. Len's Append voice with "Pink Rose" is quite lovely. Giga-P's, Orebanana's, and Reol's "Pinko Stick Luv". "Plus Boy." Len is a horny schoolboy who wants to get laid. Rin's cover of "Popipo" is just as energetic as Miku's. AvTechNO!'s "Plus/Space". "Q" by PowaPowa-P, featuring Rin. "Recycle Bin" sung by Len will prevent you from deleting a file from your computer in good conscience ever again. The sequel in Rin's point of view, "Salvage", doubles as a Heartwarming Moment. "The Riddler Who Can't Solve Riddles", a mystery song for Len Also, "The Riddler Who Won't Solve Riddles", its sequel song for Rin. Rerulli gives us another sexually charged Len song in "Sacred Spear Explosion Boy". Like "Brain Fluid Explosion Girl" before it, the words fly by fast, but it's still catchy. "SheSaw Day", a sexually charged song with the most realistic-sounding Len ever. Rin's cover, made by Lu Yurippe, is equally as amazing. Rin's "The Shibuya Catastrophe", complete with a PV as full of explosions as a Michael Bay movie. "SHOTA=RELEASE". Lyrical Dissonance and some absolutely stellar tuning make it a standout Vocaloid song, despite the scary mplications. "Sigh". Some might need a few tissues. "Silver Girl -awaking mix-", sung by Rin — the most epic coming-of-age rock ballad ever. "Skeleton Life" needs to be here. One of the best examples of Vocaska out there. "Skyblue!" is an upbeat song sung by Len, about friendship. Kind of... it's probably supposed to be, at least. Rin's song "Soleil", a song with beautiful instrumentals and an interesting storyline. "SPICE!" is pretty damn seductive. "Spinning Song" is a very soothing song which has a very traditional Chinese feel to it. "Taiyou no Kiss (Rerensa Mix)", a cover of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" sung by Len. "Tokyo Teddy Bear" by neru. It's about Rin wanting to change herself, and hating herself. It's a bit of a Tear Jerker, but the beat is so strong, you may be too busy headbanging to cry. Vocaloid Halloween? Try "Trick & Treat". "Undead Enemy" is a sleeper hit of Rin's, and would you believe it's actually about not being able to live up to expectations and good grades in school? Rin and Len cover Miku's "Unhappy Refrain" and completely steal the show. "Unrelated Emergency", which is about how most people think the news going on in the world doesn't concern them. "Vermilion" by toya, a duet by two Lens. "The Weekend's Coming!" Rin wants to confess her feelings to her crush, but the end of the world comes in the way. "Wings of the four seasons", a musical adaptation of a beautiful folktale, with amazing harmonies done by Hitoshizuku x Yama. "White Brick and Black Mourning Dress", sung by Rin, is a little bit confusing, but very touching and a real Tear Jerker. Len's cover of Harry Nilson's "Without You". Not a bad effort of trying to get Len to sing in English. "The Wolf That Fell In Love With Little Red Ridding Hood" by HitoshizukuP. Exactly What It Says on the Tin, although seeing as they're just characters of a story and Status Quo Is God, the two will never get together. However, many suspect that the bitten apple at the end of the PV may prove otherwise... Rin and Len's cover of "World's End Dancehall" by Giga-P is epic in its own right. And it combined with this Project Diva Edit PV just adds to the awesomeness that is this song. Len's cover of "World Is Mine". A must-see for Rin/Len shippers. "The Worst Carnival" is a very empowering Rin song about not letting rejection get to you. "YELLOW TRICK" by Yuugou-P. PowaPowa-P's "Year 3 Class C-14, Chiyoko Kubozono's Joining of the Cabinet", while having a rather lengthy title and having Mind Screw-y lyrics, is interesting and pleasing to the ear.

[welp-here-i-write]

Town of Salem Shenanigans (Not Red on Whitestone, My Apologies)

Preface: @ceridium and I were playing Town of Salem, naming ourselves Kima (me) and Allura (@ceridium). I got the role of Retributionist, so we acted it out in character. And then she had to leave mid-game, and things got...interesting (and by interesting I mean heart-breaking). So we decided to write it. Kima’s POV is written by me, and Allura’s is written by @ceridium.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady Kima of Vord -

I hate those idiots sometimes. I have been working too hard with Allie in Emon recently ever since the fall of the Chroma Conclave, and yet here Vox Machina has decided that they “deserve a vacation”. Newsflash, you awful people, heroes don’t get “vacations”. Vacations are for people who can afford to take vacations and not run the risk of the world falling while they’re away. People who don’t run the risk of, oh say, just for an example, going for a small trip to the City of Brass and the Fire Plane for some fancy shit, then coming back and realizing almost the entire group of people that they had massed were being wiped out and my girlfriend had been rendered a fate worse than death.

But don’t worry. That totally didn’t happen. Ever. At all. AT. ALL. Anywho, the adventuring party seemed to deem it fit to go relax in the Feywild due to Percy’s almost forgetting about it and Keyleth’s ever-growing childlike curiosity. Yet, of course they found a massacred town within the Feywild and separate letters mentioning the locations of similarly fated towns should no one intervene. And, of course, they decided that they wanted to continue to relax and sent the locations to myself, Allie, Gilmore, Cassandra and a few other names I didn’t recognize. So now instead of assisting Emon, me and Allie are heading to a small town within the last few floating islands of Draconia. We scried upon it, yet came to no visual at all. So now Allie is forced to merely teleport with the exact address and location in mind.

As she begins to prepare her spell components, her eyes begin to glow with mystical arcane energy. And I can’t help but stare. In this one moment, Allie has never been more beautiful. She has never been more fantastically surrounded by her perfect blue arcane energies or more perfectly framed by the circle around her. I love her. So much. Thank Bahamut for everything that has occurred for us to be together again. She means everything to me. I feel the ring that still resides within a pocket in my armour. The ring that Percy helped me obtain from the best artisan in the planes. Synokier or Cenokir or something like that. It was imbued with a magic energy by Gilmore that should protect her in a time of need and is connected to an identical one that I have begun wearing on my finger. The one on my finger supposedly could even bring Allie back if need be, as long as she is wearing it.

I still can’t believe Vox Machina. We were going to head to the forest nearby Emon, to an old clearing that we used to relax in and eat lunch. And we were going to reminisce about the older days with Drake and -. The others. About how much simpler everything seemed to be. And I was going to propose. But, I guess I could wait until after this run, as it should just take a few days, and be a simple search and destroy. I’ve waited this long.

Allie’s eyes clear and she looks at me. “You ready? I think I found a good spot with basic arcane searching.” Her eyes are still a bright blue, a tad of arcane energy still staying within her eyes. And her smile - it always catches me off guard. It’s gorgeous.

“Yeah.” I reply. She takes my hand and I feel the flux of magic course through me, now familiar with as many times as we’ve had to travel recently. It’s so exhilarating. We suddenly disappear from the Prime Material Plane, Allie’s hand the only anchor to anything as everything goes black and we then land on our feet, meeting the hard ground as we both fall to our knees. I get up and look around, realizing that we are standing on a rather small floating island. The grass is green and completely covers the island, and a ring of houses, what I assume is the town, is in the center of the island. A cobblestone path extends from each house and into the central area, where an elevated platform sits. Allie stands up, hand on her head.

“Kima, I don’t feel quite right. This feels much too like the Ziggurat in Whitestone. I can’t seem to summon any of my magical energies. I’m sorry.”

I look to her, trying to meet her kind and worrying eyes with reassuring ones. “It’s ok. Let’s go investigate that town, eh?” I wink at her and start trudging along towards the small area, looking behind as Allura starts to follow. Man, I really do love her.

<<<<<<<< Break 1 >>>>>>>>

Allura

I continue to try and cast minor spells, but the arcane energy fizzles from my fingertips before it can have any effect. That certainly makes things more difficult. I look to Kima, who I can tell is doing her best to keep her tough, unbreakable demeanor, though a slight bit of something else comes through. She covers it up by puffing up her chest, and throwing her Holy Avenger behind her shoulder. It’s adorable when she does that. She tromps along towards the odd little town ahead, and I follow behind. She looks back occasionally, and quickly puts her vision forward again with an almost guilty look.

From what we know, this place has had strange reports of conflicts between its residents. No one has been able to leave, or at least not alive. The magic in the area is immense. As we enter the town, a resident, dressed in very odd black and white garments, directs us to two adjacent homes where Kima and I could stay. The resident does this without an introduction, and without asking who we were. Very strange.

‘“I don’t like the look of this place, Allie..” Kima mumbles, keeping a firm hand on her Holy Avenger.

“Me neither. But until we figure out what’s going on, it’s probably best to just play along.” She nods. The sun sets oddly quickly across the horizon, and we retreat into our separate homes. As I turn to get into bed, I see a dark, shadowy figure dart across the room. I try to prepare a spell, with no effect. The figure rushes across again, and I feel a painful burning in my head as my vision flashes white, and I feel myself hit the floor before it flashes to black.

-----------------------------------

“Allie, wake up!” A strange voice meets my ears as I’m shaken awake. My eyes shoot open as I see a small armored woman standing over me. She hugs me tightly.

“Oh, you’re alright! I found you in the middle of the floor, and I was worried something happened to you.” The woman says, relieved about something.

“Wha- Where am I?” I ask.

“What do you mean? We’re in this weird town Vox Machina sent us to.”

“Who’s Vox Machina?” The woman’s face drops.

“Oh no. No no no. What’s your name?” I try my hardest to remember, but I can’t.

“I don’t know.” She takes a second to gather her thoughts.

“Just…just stay close to me, ok?” The woman helps me up from the floor. She looks devastated.

“Who are you?”

“My name- my name is Kima. Yours is Allura, but I call you A-Allie.” She chokes up a bit.

“That is a nice name. Did I do something, Kima? You look upset.”

“No. It’s nothing,” Her sadness is instantly replaced with toughness. She takes my hand and leads me outside, into a town with a ring of houses around a central platform. I study Kima’s face as she leads me. Dark complexion, a large scar across her eye, and the look of a badass. I can feel a tugging familiarity in the back of my head, but I can’t make the connection. Kima. The more I study her face, the more I realize just how stunning she is. The way she holds herself, her strength, her attitude….it’s incredibly impressive. I don’t remember who she is, but I already know I’m in love with her. Hopefully I can still make her happy.

The other people in this town are standing on the edge of the circle surrounding the central platform, and yelling at each other furiously. In one of the spots where a person would be standing lays a body with a smoking wound in its forehead.

“He did it! I KNOW he did!” One man shouts.

“You’re just trying to get him killed!” Another yells. One person shoves another up to the central platform.

“Hey, what the hell?! I’m innocent, you guys!” The person, a woman, yells.

“Sure you are! Guilty!” Half of the whole town echoes that last word in sync. It’s unnerving. Someone hops up to the platform, and Kima and I watch in horror as they fasten a noose around the woman’s neck and hang her in front of the whole town. Kima pulls me in a little closer. Suddenly, the whole town retreats to their homes in perfect synchronization, and we do our best to play along. We both open windows on the side of our houses and lean out to talk to each other.

“You saw that, right? They hung that woman!”

“I know. It was horrifying.”

“We need to get out of here. This is more Vox Machina’s line of work.” Her expression told me that wasn’t the real reason she wanted to get out of here. Either way, this place seemed like it could get dangerous for the both of us really quickly. I go to sleep, careful to keep my eyes open as long as possible before allowing myself to pass out.

<<<<<<<< Break 2 >>>>>>>>

Kima

I sit alone in my room, the silence dragging on for what feels like hours. Allie is sitting in the adjoining room, last I saw her with a confused look upon her face. A continual confusion. I still have no idea what’s wrong with her, and I don’t dare risk the ring, just in case it may not work. I can only use it once, and I’ll be damned if I try using it when it wouldn’t even apply to this situation. But still, the thought lingers in my head. The idea that the love of my life sits completely unaware of what is going on, hoping to one day remember or be of use tears my heart to shreds. I feel my resolve slowly start to crack as that thought strikes me. I can’t help but to let a few tears loose. It’s too much.

Allie, the most perfect being I’ve ever met, rendered useless yet again. I love her too much and could never stand to live without her. As I continue to reflect on the night, I find my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, not responding to my resistance as sleep takes hold of me.

I wake up, feeling as though only seconds have gone by, yet as I look out the window, I see the sun out and grab Allie as I see everyone begin to walk out of their homes. We both quickly run out, me leaving my armour and Holy Avenger within the room. While standing and witnessing the looks from everyone as they see two more dead bodies, I see Allie’s eyes suddenly widen.

Where once her eyes were dull, almost glazed over, they are now filled with intelligence and I see the same sharp wit return. She looks to me with sudden recognition, and while the others begin to shout at each other, she runs to me and grasps me around the waist, giving me the largest hug that I’ve had in a long while. There are tears in her eyes, and I feel the searing wetness within my own begin to take form.

“I love you.” She whispers. I look back, feeling a surge of emotions take over me. I look back at her, tears steadily streaming down my face.

“I love you too, and I swear to any deity that is listening, if you ever. And I mean ever. Do that to me again Vysoren, I will fucking kill you.” I can’t keep a straight face, instead my eyes simply continue to cry and my voice breaks. Then her eyes widen as she looks at two people whispering. Her mouth moves with the one’s speaking almost simultaneously. “Um, Allie, you ok there?”

She turns to me and shakes her head. “Um, yes. That certainly was new. It seems that I have regained some of my magical abilities, but only the ability to hear other’s secret conversations.” The group continues to argue when a man, different from the previous one yells something inaudible.

I observe the rest of this town as they mutter their agreements and another man shouts out, “Burn the bitch then, eh?!” I look at the woman he is pointing towards, her small and innocent looking form cowering in fear. I am about to speak out for her when I feel something indescribable stop me. I let them bring her up to the dias and yet again, we hear the screaming of the agreement, “GUILTY!”

I almost feel a tear shed at the innocent life, when I realize that as she is tied to a stake, she screams out a single phrase, her innocent demeanor now gone. “I would’ve watched you all burn!” She releases as suddenly the flames catch her body. Her screams echo through the night and I turn and walk away, towards the home, not noticing that Allura’s eyes widened as her mouth continued to move, my name escaping her lips, along with the words “kill” and “tonight”.

<<<<<<<< Break 3 >>>>>>>>

Allura

“The bitch is finally dead. We’re gonna kill Kima tonight, got it?” The words echo through my mind. They thought they wouldn’t be heard. What am I going to do? I pace around my room. My magic is extremely limited here. I don’t believe I can teleport us out, and none of my damaging spells are functioning properly. I was lucky to overhear the plans in the first place.

My mind fills with images. Of Kima falling to one of these people’s strange weapons. Of her eyes rolling back into her head. Of her body covered in blood. Of her watching me with a look of disappointment. The thoughts alone nearly bring me to tears. I can’t let that happen. Whatever it takes. I won’t let that happen.

I shake my head. Think of a plan. Maybe I can find one of their weapons. Their weapons. They resemble the ones that Percival has, but are much more advanced. I’ve never seen Percival’s weapon take someone down with one charge before, but these weapons can. It’s much more terrifying. After thinking it over, and finding no suitable solution, I start to hear footsteps from outside..

Oh, gods. Being brave is more Kima’s forte than mine. But I have to try. I leap from my window and through hers as the assailants burst through her door. I spot a grin on Kima’s face as she draws her Holy Avenger. The townsperson raises their weapon. Kima’s grin turns to horror as I use all of my strength to shove her to the floor in the corner of the room.

“Allie!-”

BANG!

The weapon fires, a flash of fire-like light bursting from the front as I feel immense pain course through my chest. I look down, and notice my robes quickly turning red in the area. I drop to one knee, trying to catch my breath as the assailant gets ready to fire again, and look over at Kima, still on the ground. She’s ok. It’ll all be worth it if she’s ok.

<<<<<<<< Break 4 >>>>>>>>

Kima

I grunt as I suddenly smack against the floor, the sound of a loud thunderclap going off above me. Where Allie was. I look up and see her grasping her chest, her white gown is slowly turning into a red and pink one. Oh no. Allie. I grasp my Holy Avenger in my hands as one of the people begin to drag her body towards the outside area. So that’s how the bodies were always in perfect position. Well they aren’t taking my Allie. Not while I have anything to say about it. I will make them all pay.

I take up my Holy Avenger, charging towards the man closest to me. He raises his weapon. I can tell when he’s about to fire, I can feel Bahamut’s blessing soaring within me. As he slowly pulls what I assume to be a trigger similar to that of a crossbow, I feel my body move on it’s own, impossibly fast. I jump to the left, not stopping my run. I hear his gasp of surprise as I raise the blade, a blue flame completely flying from my blade. “Not like this Allie! I’m coming for you!” I crash the blade down, aiming for his ribs. The blade feels no resistance as it slices cleanly through his body. Suddenly, the forged wings that form the handle of the blade glow even more radiantly, and instead of angel wings turn into those of a blue dragon’s. I feel Bahamut’s strength and aura around me as I continue for the next man. The man carrying Allie is just in front of him.

“FOR BAHAMUT!” I roar, leaping towards his form. He pulls his trigger and I feel the impending projectile as it hits my armour, slowly piercing. Then, just as soon as it’s about to pierce my skin, I flare with another burst of radiant energy and the projectile is turned to ash. I come down with a cleaving swing aimed to split his skull.

It hits it’s mark.

“FOR ALLURA!” I hit the ground and take another swing as I see the final man brandishing a weapon much more complex looking than the others’. He looks at me as my tear-stained eyes glare back at him.

“Hm. You pose much more of a threat than I anticipated. Nonetheless, I guess that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.” He eyes me yet again and I take my final jump, the Aura of Bahamut searing my flesh as the heat becomes incredibly intense. Burn you disgusting motherfu-.

I crash to the ground.

The sword goes flying the other direction as I roll, a new type of searing pain within my abdomen.

I look up at him, eyes filled with anger and seething hatred.

“Anywho. My business is done for the night. Feel free to take your own life, it’ll be much faster than this. Goodnight.” He says calmly, wiping his weapon before sliding it into his coat pocket. He walks away, heading for the house opposite the center. And as he leaves, I look towards Allie.

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Allura

Kima pounds her fist on the ground, and yells out, trying to mask the pain. I clutched at my chest. Kima painfully crawls her way over to me. Every grunt she made on the way over was agonizing to me. She does her best to sit up, and holds my head in her lap. I can feel my energy fading me. She puts her hand on my wound, and tries to heal it, with no effect.

“No. NO! WHY ISN’T IT WORKING?!” She screams.

“I’m…I’m so sorry, Kima. I failed you again.” I say, failing to hold back tears.

“Don’t say that. This isn’t over yet. You’re gonna get out of here, you’re gonna tell Vox Machina how much of an ass they were, and you’re gonna be fine-” “Kima. Be realistic.” She glances down at her once-magnificent armor, which now has a hole blown inwards, only tearing her wound apart more. I look down at my hands, now trembling. I fail to even attempt a spell.

“Don’t leave me, Allie. I love you too much.” Kima says. Her strength is broken. Her heroism is gone. The tear tracks on her face reflect the moonlight, and only emphasize her gorgeous eyes. Kima. The beautiful. warrior who’s everything I’m not. Yet, in this moment, she breaks down. Because of me. I put my hand on her wound. Maybe I can…no. Nothing works here. I grab the edge of her armor and use the last bit of my strength to pull myself up and kiss her. I feel her arms grab me tighter than ever. I open my eyes, and the image of her face blurs. I’ll miss her so much.

“I love you-” I get out, before the last bit of my energy fades, and my vision goes dark. I’ll see you soon.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kima

No. No. No. Nonononononononononono. “Allie.” I whisper. “Allie, Gods damnit say something. Allie.” My voice cracks and I can’t take it anymore as soon as I feel the body go limp. My Allie. Allie. She means the world to me. I can’t have her leave now. We were going to go back to Emon.

We were going to go back to the clearing within the woods just outside the city. We were going to be together.

We were going to be together forever. I had the ring made. THE RING. I look frantically through my pocket, trying to reach for it as my arms become more and more sluggish. Then, I feel something. I feel a small, round metal object. The ring. I pull it out and look at it with awe and joy. I reach for Allura’s hand and as my shaking fingers try to place it on her own cold ones, I almost drop it. I put the ring on Allie’s finger and begin to focus my energy into the ring.

I put everything I have left into it. I pray to Bahamut for anything and everything. For Allie to be ok. And as I open my eyes, I see the ring, dormant on her finger. Of course. No magic works here. No magic.

I realize with a sudden worry that there is nothing I can do. I hold her hand in mine and just let the rest of my energy flow in the form of tears. She’s gone. And that’s all I can think about. I lay down her head upon the ground, then follow suit, laying next to her. I look at her closed eyes and for a second I can almost believe that she really is just asleep. That this is merely the ruins of some tower she found near the clearing and she wanted us to investigate it. That we found nothing, but as nightfall came, she pulled me down to the ground with her and just asked a simple question.

“Kima, will you watch the stars with me?” I looked into her own eyes and just smiled.

“Of course.” We sat here for hours, just witnessing the beauty of the world, and as I turned my head just now, I saw her sleeping face. She is beautiful and ethereal. I want the fantasy to be true do badly. I want her back. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

I look down at my own wound as I lay with her. It hasn’t stopped bleeding. I sigh, looking into her eyes. “Allura, I love you. I just wanted you to know that, ok? I love you so much. I guess we’ll be seeing each other sooner than I thought. Goodnight my love. I will not break my vow. I will stay with you… all our days…” And I let the darkness take me.

Fin -