#and just the right amount of flavour- and ahhhh my lord how do they get to be such vibrant colours!

[kingdom-of-ire]

American import ailse in my local supervalu is honestly the best place for snacks.

If Americans know how to do one thing it's make snacks. they are fucking awesome at that.

this post was made as I ate the replacement pop tarts my mother bought me because my brother ate all the ones I bought with my own money

[slashingdisneypasta]

(Any Category Villains) x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: Congratulations, you have caught character A’s (Italics in the ‘Includes’ section) attention and they’ve been bothering you since you met (Caught you sneaking into the museum, caught Peter Pan bringing you into Neverland, or you transferred to Dauntless and jumped) and you have upheld the front that you dislike / hate him but your real feelings are given away when you see Character B, who is a reincarnation of Character A, and you are visibly attracted to this person. 

Includes (Italics = The love interest. // No italics = The one you gush over) : Al Capone and Frank Castle / The Punisher, Captain Hook (2003) and Lucius Malfoy, and Eric (Divergent) and Captain Boomerang.

Warnings: Looking at our line-up, I’m assuming theirs gonna be some swearing and, because of the topic their will probs be sexual references. Some THIRSTING

Notes: 

I dunno who will want this but I wrote it a week ago and was having trouble adding the last two character (Freddy and Buckman) but I got a new idea for Buckman (And Hoyt, and Jafar. Ya’ll just sit back and wait for what I’m brewing with these unholy three) now so no worries! Imma just post it. I like Al’s at least ^^ NATM fans will be maybe happy :D 

~~~

Al Capone: Frank Castle / The Punisher ( @blueinkblot ) 

“So, you’re supposed to be the other me?” Al talks to his doppelganger with contempt in the other room, and you can just imagine the pinched look on his face. Chuckling about it, I get up from the lunch table and leave the break room, going to see what’s happening and oversee the visit – hopefully I don’t have to use the dreaded torch the museum gave me as a weapon,- , go-ghurt still between my lips and my teeth. Strawberry flavour! Its delicious. The cooling sleeve was a smart purchase, I think. Despite what Napoleon and Kahmenrah might say… Stupid, pompous bastards. Thinking yoghurt out of a tube is inferior to yoghurt out of a tub.

Pfft!

Rounding the corner, I see two Al’s. One of them is grey scale, of course, and he’s holding his tommy gun like it will make any difference in a fight if it came down to it, with is having no bullets and all, and the other looks like he’s recently been to war.

Oh, good, lord.

Really, he is as gruff looking as they come. Where Al’s clean and baby-faced, this guy has that sexy five o’clock shadow. He’s also buffer, human coloured and… is he taller?? I don’t know how it could be possible, but just way the way he looks at people makes him seem taller.

Suddenly he looks my way and I smile… but of course, I still have a tube of go-ghurt in my mouth and when I pull it out -a bit too excited maybe,- some specks of white yoghurt fleck onto my mouth. I go bright red with embarrassment and Al looks over to see what the new guy is looking away from, -me, - as I use my sleeve to wipe that stuff off. I miss his broad, knowing grin.

I flash him a toothless, joyless grin which I hope reads ‘Don’t talk to me, stop looking at me, don’t even mention me. I’m going to go find a hole to live in’ before raising a hand quickly to waive, slouching and slowly moping off to my hole. Go-Ghurt, how could you betray me like this!!

Ahhh, its better off that way anyway. Wouldn’t want Al to get to the idea that I think he’s attractive, haha. I sit down at the table Napoleon, Kah, Ivan and a couple other exhibits are playing go fish on and watch them play for a while, my legs stretched out under the table and arms crossed over my stomach, watching and not saying anything. Even when Kah matches a 6 of clubs with a 7 of clubs and no one else notices- I’d rather not set off any high-pitched French shrieking right now. My ears are still sensitive from last night, thank you very much.

When midnight strikes, they finally decide to give Go Fish a rest for the night, thank god, and disperse to separate areas of the museum. I’m just playing with the cards, shuffling them and organising them into suits and chronological order when Al plops down in the seat beside me. I glance at him between separating hearts and diamonds. “Your guy left?” Oh, thank god.

“Yeah; Said he had some work to do before the night was over.” He responds, and I nod in understanding. “Makes me wonder what kinda work he does, at night… with a gun… in all black… But I don’t ask questions.”

“Oh, you don’t?” I turn over my shoulder, set the cards down and look sceptically at him. I could have sworn he asks me a million questions about myself every chance he gets.  “Do you?”

“Fine, I don’t ask that guy questions. I ask you, a lotta questions.” I make an immediate ‘Ahhh’ sound when he admits the first part and look back to my cards. I look right back at him through when I hear the legs of his chair scratch against the floor and find that he’s much closer now. “One more question.”

I raise an eyebrow at his mischievous face. “What?”

“Did you embarrass yourself checking the other me out?” A wide grin takes his mouth, and I gasp.

“I was no checking him out- and- and he’s not even like you, anyway. He looks completely different! In fact, I think he was 4 inches taller!” Okay, not quite that much taller, but if it gets under Al’s skin then fuck. Four inches is what I saw.

And it does get under his skin! His eyes go steely and he looks from you to where the guy had been a moment ago, then back. Pointing at the spot they were in, he exclaims. “There’s no way.”

“Oh sure, there was.”

“Bring a measuring tape tomorrow, we’ll see who’s really taller!”

I hold back a laugh, looking away from him and shuffling the cards again just to have something to do with my hands. “Sure, Al!~”

“You know what?” Ooh, he sounds frustrated. Success, for me! Yippee!

I grin, and ask him. “What?”

Then Al cups my jaw, drags my head around and plants a kiss right on my mouth. I shouldn’t- No, it shouldn’t have the effect on me that it does. I should push him off and leave, but I immediately transform into mush and turn fully to wrap my arms around his neck, tilting my head into it the kiss instead. I’m not gonna lie, I think, this boy can kiss. And maybe I’d been waiting for it.

A little bit.

Captain Hook (2003): Lucius Malfoy

“My dear Y/N come over here please! ~” Hook calls over to me from the lower deck, and I look up from my phone -surprisingly enough, I get great connection in Neverland,- like a sullen teenager, earplugs still in my ears, and wait for an explanation. What? What does he want? He’s keeping me hostage and now he wants something from me?? “I’d like to introduce you to my reincarnation! His name is Lucius Malfoy, he’s a wizard!”

For a moment I consider pretending I didn’t hear him, but then decide it’s always a good idea to stay on the good side of your kidnapper and huff. Getting up from the floor where I was sitting, I take my earplugs out and wrap them around my phone as I walk down the stairs to the lower deck where they are, stuffing it in my hoodie pocket when I reach them. “Hi, I’m Y/N. The Captains hos- “

“Consort! My fair Y/N.” A hook picks up a strand of my hair, and Hook watches as it slips off the hook.

What?! I look immediately up from the floor to Hook with a look of utter horror and ‘hell no’ carved into my features. Um, absolutely not- “Yes!” I hate myself for this, but what choice do I have? “That’s me, it’s nice to meet you- “

My mouth goes dry as soon as I see him for the first time and my expression softens quickly. So pretty! How?

I offer my hand to him to shake and he smirks -Lord help me, - and takes it, shaking for a good amount of time. “Lovely to meet you also, Y/N… Its funny, you look nothing like my wife. I guess reincarnation exists but not fate. Peculiar.” Hmmm, yes, or I was kidnapped. Not really his consort! Not at all!! No??!

Ahhhh, rats though. He’s married.

I run a hand back through my hair and take my hand back, smiling politely. Oh well. “Yeah, I guess! I haven’t really thought of it- Hook?” I turn promptly to him to keep up the conversation. I’m not going to. I’m anti-social and introverted. Besides, he started this. Conversation was thrust upon me.

When we connect gazes, I notice he was looking at me before I even turned. I flash a nervous, toothless smile and look away the ocean awkwardly. Oh, dear. What’s going on in his mind?

As they talk, and watch the ocean and feel… slightly, at peace watching the beautiful blue Neverland waves crawl over the expanse of water and the disperse into its depths after crashing. It almost feels like I’m back in Britain again… until a certain hooked arm hooks its way around my bloody waist and my head whips around to see what the hell he think’s he’s doing.

Plastering a smile on my face, I turn to my ‘husband’, giving Lucius a quick ‘excuse me a moment’, and gesturing for Hook to lean down to my level so I can whisper something in his ear. “Yes, hi. Hook. Get your fucking arm off of me; Your touch feels like gross bugs on me.”

He turns to face me, and our faces are uncomfortably close in this moment. “Dear, if you think I’m going to give up on you just because you’re too stubborn to admit you want me too because of some abomination of a moral dilemma then you’re mistaken.” My face burns, from embarrassment and anger -maybe just embarrassment? He touches his lips thoughtfully, then uses those same fingers to pull my chin up so I’m more at his mercy as his expression turns into a full smirk. Bastard. “And don’t think for one second that I somehow didn’t notice your reaction to my lookalike. I know just enough about how you feel about what I look like now to hold on. You will fall for me, you’ll see. “I watch with a deep frown on my face, heat running down my neck and into my clothes as he straightens up again to continue talking with Lucius. I take a deep breath, now that his focus isn’t on me anymore before he tugs me even closer against his body.

Eric (Divergent): Captain Boomerang (Keep in mind that I have never seen Suicide squad or anything else with Captain Boomerang) 

Ohh, Eric was not happy about this. Eric isn’t happy about most things, unless they included the misfortune and pain of others and more recently, regrettably, me. But he reaaaaalllly hated this.

Contrasting drastically, I’m living for it. Naturally.

And the fact that ‘Captain Boomerang’, or Digger Harkness which is one of the sexiest given names I’ve ever heard, is gorgeous in that ruffled, dark way doesn’t hurt the situation one bit. No, it does not. Eric is villainous looking too, sure, but he’s so clean cut and angry looking. Its harsh on my irises.  

“So, Captain, you said you grew up in Australia?” I’m enjoying this, and I’m sucking every morsel of joy out of it as I can- which means ask the Captain copious questions while Eric just stands with his arms crossed over his chest and tries to intimidate someone the same size and scary level as him, right beside me. I don’t know how he thinks that’s going to work out for him, but I think it’s the only form of offense he has right now to utilise. Poor, evil Eric. Boo hoo.

“That’s right, you ever been there?” He grins -he grins! The only time Eric ever grins is when he’s being cruel and because he does it so little, it’s kind of scary now. Very good for making birds fall out of the sky and babies cry, - and pats my arm. His hand is big, and I beam up at him because I’m getting attention from a pretty boy. “You’d like it, I think. Most people would.”

“Sure!” Will you take me, handsome?

Eric notices the Captain’s hand still on my arm before I do even, zeroes in on it, picks it up so tight I can see his knuckles are white and drops it back towards its owner. I press my lips together and bite on them, looking down at the ground for a moment to widen my eyes at the awkward tension.

When I look back up, they’re staring daggers at each other and it’s even more awkward. Eric! Could you go stand somewhere else possibly!?

Ooooor, maybe I will. This doesn’t seem like a safe place to be anymore.

“Well, it was really nice meeting you Captain. I have to go be somewhere else now, see yaaaaa,” I give him a jaunty and half-assed salute as I’m already occupied with turning and wheeling it out of there.

I was hoping to get away from them, but its two seconds out the door before I realise Eric has followed me. I continue on though, ignoring him and hoping he’ll get the hint- and screw off. I get that that’s a pipe dream though, so I’m not surprised when instead he starts speaking to me.

“So, what was that about?”

“Stop trailing me.”

“Answer my question.” He counters. Oh, scary stubborn Eric.

I know what he’s talking about. I know what he’s going to say. He’s going to say I think Captain Boomerang is pretty so I must think he is pretty- which is just not true!!

Is... is it?

No, no it mustn’t be that. I cannot be. I repeat, it c a n n o t be. “I refuse! Get off my tail Eric!”

He chuckles from behind me, pats my back and quickens up to leave me in his dust as he speeds down the hall effortlessly. “Sure, Y/N. Sure.” Soon, he’s out of sight, and I stop walking.

It… it’s not true, is it?

[ineverhadmyinternetphase]

I was tagged by @charlottekath (thanks for the poke xD) and even though I have already done one of these, they’re kind of fun, so hey, here we go again

Rules: 1. Always post the rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people. (Or however many you want)

(under a cut because this got looooong)

1. Do you collect anything?

Flavours of hot chocolate :P and I also have a bad teddy habit. I have so many soft toys at this point it isn’t even funny, literally they take up all the shelves and over half the bed in my room at home

2. Favourite childhood animated film?

Ooooh... probably the Lion King 2, I watched that religiously every single night for a while and still know all the songs

3. If you hear a noise in the night when you’re home alone, your mind automatically thinks its ….??

Apparently a dog, based off this morning?? I heard a noise and looked over at the windowsill and there was a dog casually sat there wagging its tail. Jumpscared me so I sat straight up and then realised I’d been dreaming. Strangest thing to happen to me in a while :P (Charlotte cackled for ten minutes straight I swear)

Usually though, I don’t get too creeped out by nighttime noises. I just assume its a happy ghostie floating along so I don’t disturb it

4. What is your comfort fic(s)?

EXCELLENT QUESTION. Recently my go-to comfort fic has been @parentaladvisorybullshitcontent‘s astronaut AU (which is here and I highly reccomend) but if I want a slice of good comfort reality then I go to anything at all by @alittledizzy because everything she writes is a perfect encapsulation of their dynamic. Also this is the best sick fic of all time. Oh and this which @snowbunnylester wrote for me when I was having a bad day. And also I have to mention this by @leblonde as one of my all time favourites for bad days too. (I have literally too many comfort fics I’m going to stop now)

5. Favourite fantasy world, and why? (I can be from book series/film series/video game, whatever has captured your imagination the most)

Ahhhh don’t make me choooooose. Ok I literally cannot choose so I’m going to list a few and say why I love them so much

Wheel of Time (by Robert Jordan): this saga (I’m still reading, on book 4) but it’s so gooood, proper high fantasy but the magic is super interesting and has made me want to write my original fic again. Seriously the magic system in this is not something I’ve seen before and it makes me want to explore different facets of magic

The Belgariad (by David Eddings): this was my absolute favourite series as a teenager. So much excellent magic, great humour, and I have never wanted to live inside a world as much as I did this one.

The Dark is Rising (by Susan Cooper): this is like a modern take on Arthurian legend and I love it. One of the greatest friendships to ever come out of a book exists in this universe and also the mythical language really appeals to me. (Also the only reason I vaguely know how to pronounce Welsh words)

Daughter of the Flames (by Zoe Marriott): I read this as a teenager and it has stayed with me ever since. I aspire to be like this author one day. Amazing discussions of race and society as well as literally amazing fire magic (seriously, I wanted to be a fire mage for so long after reading this xD)

And a tip of the hat to Lord of the Rings for first getting me into fantasy when I read it aged 10, I would quite happily go live with the ents if I could

6. Cinema snack of choice?

M&Ms. The peanut ones. (I know most people have popcorn and I do like popcorn but for some reason I always get these at the cinema xD)

7. Is there any habits you wish you could break?

I wish I would stop clicking my fingers

8. Hypothetically, if you were ever arrested, what would it probably be for?

xD this doesn’t feel likely at all as I am the biggest goodie two shoes out there, but hypothetically... probably for stealing hot chocolate

9. Favourite thing about the city/town you live in, and also least favourite?

Gonna do this for Durham, where I’m at uni. Favourite thing is the views, it’s such a pretty town (there is literally a giant cathedral that looks like Hogwarts right outside my bedroom window). Least favourite thing is how small it is, if you want to go to any decent shops then you have to get the train to Newcastle

10. VIP Question (I have actually used this when I was interviewing for a new employee to weed out the weak). What is your contingency plan for a zombie apocalypse?

I love that you have actually used this in job interviews xD but I would gather everyone/everything I could and hop inside the cathedral right outside my window and then barricade the door. The university wifi is reachable from there so at least we’d have internet before the inevitable death

And my questions (actually eleven seeing as Charlotte failed and wrote 10 :P):

1. What’s the most amount of books you can lift at once?

2. What’s your favourite thing in the room you’re in right now?

3. What’s your favourite pairing that you’ve ever shipped and why?

4. What was the last thing that you made by hand?

5. Describe your favourite photograph (of yourself or other people or a place etc.)

6. What would your unicorn horn be made out of? (For context, just took a buzzfeed quiz and mine was made out of gummy candy)

7. How long have you been aware of the internet/fandoms?

8. If you can’t reach something on the top shelf of a supermarket, what do you do?

9. Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you get one?

10. What’s your favourite genre of fic? Slow burn, fluff, angst, etc.?

11. What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you?

I’m going to follow suit and tag the most recent people in my notifications, don’t feel like you have to do this! Just an option for if you want to ^_^ @sophtatic @beechwoodwand @pinkelephantsandoreos @dont-break-hearts @aromadillo @agw-game @o-atsuko-o @fikirselam @serenewyrd @samisafangirl @marshmallowmooooo