#and just reveals what a mess of a writer I am lol

[itgetsdark-x]

ok but pre-outbreak Joel gets a cute young new neighbour and she’s a camgirl (pretending it’s more modern day and the technology exists lol) but he doesn’t know and one day she asked him for help with fixing something so he actually sees the inside of her house. And then later on, at night he’s trying to find something good 👀 for happy Joel time (bc his cute neighbour in her way too short shorts got him a lil hot and bothered) he comes across her doing a live cam show and he’s like “oh shit.. I know that room. And that ass..) and he realises it’s her and he just has to join in and see what’s going on and it just gets smutty.

And in the end he somehow reveals it’s him in a discreet non creepy way and she’s like yeah i know *wink wink* just really flirty and stuff! There could even be another part eventually where they actually get together and smuuuut!

This idea has been in my head the last few days but I’m not a good writer.. and you’re such a good smut writer 😭😭

A/N: oh my sweet anon, I am so sorry this took so long!! I may or may not have got carried away with this and rolled it all into one piece… so have this monstrous 7.1k word oneshot 🥹

Warnings: 18+, minors dni!! fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (do better!), use of the word daddy, implied age gap (everyone is of legal and consenting age!), probs more I’ve missed. It’s just porn tbh people!

Word Count: 7.1k

Characters: Joel Miller x Cam Girl!Reader (f)

You waved sweetly, blew a kiss to your laptop screen and ended the stream after saying a final goodbye to your viewers. You closed down your laptop and reached behind you, on your bed to grab your T-shirt and shorts. You stood up from your spot on your bed, stretched your back with a groan and threw your baggy T-shirt on over your naked torso and shimmied your tight gym shorts over your bare legs. 

You had moved back to Austin a few months ago with your parents, things had ended badly with a previous partner and it meant moving back to the city to be closer to them. Your parents majorly helped you out, hence why you were able to afford the comfy house you lived in, deep in the suburbs. 

Your house was next to Joel Miller’s, he was a devoted single father to his daughter, Sarah, who was in her mid-teens. You would sometimes look after Sarah if her sitter ever cancelled last minute and you loved it, it was like having a little sister, she would often come round and ask for advice on clothes, boys and sometimes, homework, when she trusted you enough to know the subject. 

You kept a fair distance from her dad, he was a handsome male in his late forties, potentially pushing older and sure, you thought he was super handsome but it wasn’t a line you particularly wanted to cross due to the implications and mess if you did, so you stuck to yourself besides your interactions with Sarah. 

To help pay your rent and keep food on your table, you had a part-time job at a local store but the main source of your income came from your online presence. You performed on an adult-only cam site and offered subscriptions for your content. You had somewhat gained traction on the site and it left you living fairly comfortably, especially with your parents help. No one around you in your day-to-day life knew about your online presence and you preferred to keep it that way, it was the twenty-first century and sure your parents may have understood, you just preferred to not talk about it with them. 

You walked downstairs, your makeup was still on but you had pulled your hair up away from your face. You had gone to get a snack after a two-hour long show, you had given your midday viewers a special treat as you normally only performed in the evenings / later at night as that’s when the money seemed to roll in easier. You ate a bagel with cream cheese and sighed to yourself as you scrolled through your phone, you clocked the time and noticed you had four hours or so until you had an evening stream booked. You needed a hot bath to clean yourself up after this afternoon’s one and a nap also sounded amazing. 

With that in mind, you wandered back upstairs and switched your taps on in your en-suite and awaited the water to warm up. You waited five minutes and the water was still icy cold, you rolled your eyes and pulled your clothes back on. 

“Fucks sake.” You huffed angrily and stomped downstairs to pop next door. 

Joel was a contractor and all-round handyman, sure he wasn’t a plumber but he would most definitely have a better idea of what was going on and he would most likely be able to fix it. You walked down the driveway of your house to head to Joel’s; the cool summer breeze pricked your skin, goosebumps rose on your arms and legs and your nipples hardened under the white fabric of your T-shirt. 

You brought your hand up and knocked on the door once, you looked down at your appearance and suddenly felt self-conscious, you pulled your arms across your chest to cover your nipples and shifted on the spot as you awaited someone to answer the door. 

“Oh, hi darlin’.” Joel said, smiling through his confusion as to why you were here and knocking on his door. “Sarah is at a friend’s for the night, she’s been beggin’ me to let her have a sleepover so I gave in. Were you looking for her?” He asked softly. 

You tracked his eyes, they started from your flip-flop clad feet and followed the shapely lines of your bare legs before they hungrily raked over your torso and found their way back to your own eyes. You swallowed roughly and pulled your arms tighter around yourself. 

“Uh, I was actually looking for you…” you started. “I’ve got somewhere to be in a few hours and I need a bath, my taps aren’t running hot. I was wonderin’ whether you could come over and take a look?” You asked nervously. 

“Oh sure! It’ll probably be a simple fix, let me grab my tools from the truck and I’ll be right over.” He smiled and closed his door behind him. 

He grabbed his toolkit from the back of the truck and ushered for you to lead the way back to your house. Joel watched as your hips swayed as you walked, the stretchy fabric of your gym shorts clung to your hips, ass and thighs perfectly. They rode up your behind in the most teasing way and Joel mentally cursed himself for imagining what laid underneath the material. 

“Hot date tonight then?” Joel asked innocently as you walked him up your stairs. 

“Ha. Yeah. Something like that.” You laughed awkwardly, god if only he knew. 

You opened your bedroom door to Joel and let him walk into your room. “Yeah, just through that door. I’m useless with this sorta stuff and normally I would call my dad but he’s at work and I noticed your truck in the driveway…” you mumbled and stood in your bedroom awkwardly. 

You looked around your room, just scanning the area to ensure you hadn’t left any of your toys out from your stream and you felt your cheeks immediately glow when you noticed your vibrator sitting by your pillow. 

Joel was humming as he took your bath panel off to inspect the plumbing work under the ceramic and you took the opportunity to push the vibe just under your pillow. You went over to the bathroom and leant on the door frame; you couldn’t help but admire the older male’s biceps as they flexed as he toyed with the temperature valve under the bath. He fiddled around for fifteen minutes or so until the water ran hot, the water immediately steaming in the air. 

You grinned at him as he called out ‘gotcha’. “Joel! You’re a hero, thank you! I owe you a pack of beers, I’ll get them over to you at some point this week, I promise.” You enthused and clapped your hands. 

Joel sat up from his position, clicked your bath panel back in place and switched the taps off. He looked at you and dusted his hands off on his jeans, as you clapped he couldn’t help but notice the way your breasts squeezed together under your shirt. He could clearly see that you weren’t wearing any underwear, your nipple’s colour showed through your white T-shirt and he felt his cock twitch in his boxers at the sight. 

“Don’t be silly, darlin’. I’m just happy to help out a neighbour in need. Plus you look out for Sarah, I owe you a lot more than sorting out a couple valves under your tub.” He laughed and threw his spanner back into his tool bag. 

“I love Sarah! She’s like a little sister to me, I just hope I’m not a bad influence on her!” You giggled and watched as Joel packed up his tools. 

“You a bad influence? I doubt that very much, sweetheart.” He smiled softly and you let him pass you back into your room. He looked around your room and admired your decorations. “I like what you’ve done in here, looks real nice. You do this yourself?” He asked and toyed with the material of the canopy that hung above your double bed. 

You nodded proudly. “Yeah, well, my dad helped me a little but I always get impatient and end up doing it myself just so it’s done.” You chuckled and he looked around before clapping his hands awkwardly once. 

“I should uh, let you have your bath in peace. Unless you need anything else from me?” Joel asked causing your eyebrows to rise in shock. “No! I meant um, sorry darlin’! Didn’t mean to sound so dirty with that suggestion, I mean do you have anything else that needs to looking at around your house?” He corrected himself and you laughed softly at him. 

“Oh, of course you didn’t.” You mumbled, an edge of disappointment lacing your voice. “Well, my facets and pipes under the sink, downstairs are a little loose and leaky. If you wouldn’t mind tightening them, I would be really grateful.” You smiled softly and after Joel gave you a nod, you lead him downstairs into your kitchen. 

You bent down to move your cleaning supplies out of the way and Joel swore his heart almost stopped, he could clearly see the outline of your ass and your privates as the lycra clung to every one of your curves. You stepped back and let Joel work again. 

“Joel, can I please be really rude and excuse myself to go and take that bath? I need to clean up before I’m needed elsewhere. I really appreciate your help with this all and please feel free to let yourself out. I’ll pop by tomorrow with some beers!” You said sweetly. 

“No worries at all, I won’t be long at all, sweetheart. Please don’t worry about the beers, it’s my pleasure. Honestly.” Joel spoke from under the sink as you left the kitchen to go back to your en suite. 

Joel continued to work on your kitchen sink, it was a short job and he was soon finished. He heard the water stop running upstairs and once again, he scolded himself for letting his filthy thoughts run away from him. He imagined your body slipping into soapy water, the bubbles clinging to your breasts, your perky nipples inviting him to suck them into his mouth and your perfectly round ass glistening with the soapy water. He groaned to himself as he picked up his toolkit to leave, he briefly palmed his half-hard cock in his jeans and he was feeling so thankful that he had the house to himself that evening. 

Whilst in the bath, you laid back into the enticing warm water and you let your thoughts run away from you. You imagined how Joel’s calloused fingers would feel buried deep in you, working your pussy closer to orgasming. You imagined how it would feel to be embraced by him before he pushed his dick deep into you until you were crying for him to stop. You physically shook your head and swallowed thickly, that right there, those thoughts, that’s exactly why you tried to keep your distance from the older male. He got under your skin and lit a fire deep in the pits of your belly. Silently, you were appreciative that you were so worked up because you knew it meant you would be giving your viewers a great show tonight. 

The time soon came for you to start your live stream; you were wearing a lacy pink bra and matching panties; the bra had crisscross straps across your cleavage and your nipples showed through the sheer material. 

“Evening guys,” you purred and gave a wave to your viewers. Whenever you streamed you work a masquerade mask to hide your identity and you always put a voice on; it was similar to your own but a little bit lower and more sultry. “How’s everyone’s day going today? I know I’m super excited to be here tonight.” You whined as your fingers toyed with your hardening nipples. 

Your set up was simple, you usually sat on your bed at the beginning of streams before moving into all crude positions for your viewers; their comments and tips egging you to go further. 

Comments started to flood in and it didn’t take long for you to lose your bra; you kept your panties and stockings on as the garment you chose for tonight was crotchless which mean you could toy with yourself without losing the sexy underwear. 

You were laid back, your back was arched off the bed as you plunged your rabbit vibrator in and out, your thoughts swam with Joel and imagining it was him pleasuring you. Small moans tumbled from your lips as the noise of comments and monetary tips filled the room. 

You were getting closer to having an orgasm and you didn’t know how long you could hold off for. Normally, when streaming, you would fake it a lot since it was a lot of effort to have orgasm after orgasm, especially for hours at a time; by now you had perfected the faking of one but not tonight. Your fingers pinched at your nipples and you shuddered on your toy as you worked yourself through it. You removed the toy and brought it up to your bare lips, you sucked it into your mouth and moaned. 

“Wow, thank you Sunset331 for the $100 tip. I’ll be sure to send a picture your way after the stream.” You purred. 

*Handyman47 Entered the Chat*

“Good evening, Handyman47. I hope you enjoy the show!” You called out and turned so the camera had a perfect view of your exposed ass and vagina. You pushed the toy back into yourself and whimpered at your overstimulation as you got right back into the quick rhythm. 

—

Joel was frustrated, sexually and emotionally. He needed to relieve some of the stress that had built up this afternoon. He had always found you tempting and attractive but tried his hardest to ignore you whenever you came round. But there you were today, all perfect and tight, he was blinded by his arousal.

He laid back on his bed, his back pushed up against his pillows as he got his laptop out and started Googling adult-only sites that could help him along the way. He stumbled across a streaming site he hadn’t seen before, it looked decent enough so he quickly made an account and clicked onto one of the first streams he saw the thumbnail for. 

The actress looked attractive enough for him to take the edge off and he thought somewhere in the back of his mind, that the body on his screen looked similar to yours but he pushed that sinister thought away and assumed it was because you had frustrated him so much earlier that day. 

Then he heard the voice from his laptop, “Good evening, Handyman47. I hope you enjoy the show!” It clicked instantly in his brain, his eyes scanned the background of the room and he swallowed thickly. 

Joel couldn’t help the way his cock twitched in his hand, he was already stroking himself and then he happened to stumble across you. He watched on as the toy disappeared into your hungry heat and would come out covered in your arousal, he groaned loudly from the back of his throat as his thumb swiped over his cock head and lubricated his length with his own pre-cum. 

He knew he should close his laptop down and go and take a cool shower but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of his laptop screen, he looked out his window and could see yours; your curtains were drawn and there was a charming pink glow coming from behind them. Just like in your stream. He was so close to you, yet you had no idea just what he was doing a mere distance away from you or how crazy you drove him.

—

“Oh yeah, just like that daddy. Please don’t stop. Yeah.” You moaned, you had switched positions again. You were on your back and your sticky privates showed directly to the camera. Your juices were creamy and thick as you continued to push your toy into your hole. “Hmm, I think I should change to something bigger. I need a real man to come here and fill me up.” You purred and sat up to read the comments. 

Handyman47: I volunteer, darlin’. 

Sunset331: on my way, need u so bad

Jungleboy87: show us that needy pussy again. pls

You giggled as you read the comments, your tits hung in front of the camera as you did so but one caught your eye. Handyman47, surely it was a coincidence, no? Joel was around that age, that was his job and the fact he called you darling. Your throat went dry as you pondered the possibility of it being the older man from across the road. 

You pushed that thought aside and grabbed your dildo off your bedside table; it was hot pink and a thick 10” in length, your biggest one to date. 

“What do you think, guys? Do you reckon I can make it fit in my little hole?” You purred and ran it through your wet folds. 

You pressed the tip of the toy into your hole and whimpered at the immediate stretch, slowly, you plunged it into yourself. The stretch of the toy stung and you closed yours eyes, imagining it was Joel filling you out like that. 

Comments of encouragement flooded the chat once again and you smiled devilishly as you pulled the toy out to switch your position. You lifted the prop from the floor, it was a large piece of plastic that you used specifically for streaming, it allowed you to suction your toy to it and it meant you could ride it with ease. 

“Oh fuck, daddy. You’re so big. Dunno if I can take it all like this.” You whimpered, straddling the toy and slowly pushing yourself down onto it. 

You rode your toy, the pleasure already building up in your body and you clenched around it weakly as your thighs burned with the effort. 

Joel watched on, his eyes fixated on his screen; he saw the way your tight pussy stretched around the toy and he pumped his cock enthusiastically with each rise and fall of your body. His tip was leaking pre-cum and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he was cumming into his palm over the sight of you fucking yourself. 

“Gonna squirt all over your cock.” You shuddered and you meant it, it was how you ended your shows normally; one final blow out for the fans. 

Your hand fumbled beside you as it reached for your bullet vibrator. You brought it to your clit and almost immediately you felt your orgasm come crashing through you, your hips faltered as your ground down onto the toy below you. You rose as your felt yourself gush around it, your juices splashed onto the toy and you couldn’t help the way your eyes screwed shut and a loud, shaky moan fell from your lips. 

“Fuck, Joel.” You whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. 

He heard it. That was his name. Surely not. Joel watched as you continued to squirt, his cock throbbed and with one final pass of his hand, he came hard. Your name fell from his lips with a groan, he kept hearing the way you whimpered his name as you came on your toy over and over in his head and it made his spent dick jump as he milked himself of every last drop. 

You shuddered as you removed the toy fully from yourself and discarded your bullet to the side of you after turning it off. 

“Wow guys, I’ve made a massive mess here.” You giggled and slapped your sopping wet core once, the wetness apparent as your fingers tapped lightly. 

Comments of appreciation were flooding through your chat and you grinned as you read each one. 

“Thank you sooo much for tuning in guys, I won’t be streaming tomorrow but I’ll be back the day after. Thank you all so much for the support. I love you.” You cooed sweetly and blew a kiss to the camera before shutting the stream down to clean up after yourself. 

—

You had slept soundly after last night’s stream; it was a busy one. All morning, whilst trying to do some admin work, all you could think of was that one username that stuck out to you… Handyman47. You were sure it just had to be a sick coincidence, your thoughts were clouded by lust in the moment and of course it wasn’t Joel. Why would he watch your stream? He didn’t find you attractive, that would just be ridiculous. That’s what you told yourself, anyway. 

You finished up your work for the morning and decided to pop out to the store, to buy the beer you had promised Joel. It was a warm day so you dressed yourself in a sunflower-yellow sundress and flip flops, your hair was tied up messily. 

Once you arrived home from the store, you parked your car up and made your way over to Joel’s house to give him the cool beers. It was a small gesture to say thank-you for the help, even if he insisted that he didn’t want them, it was the polite thing to do and you were raised with manners. 

You raised your arm and placed a quick knock to the door, you were half-expecting to see Sarah’s gorgeous locks but instead you were met with Joel. 

“No Sarah again?” You asked. 

“She uh, she wanted to stay another night at her friend’s and well, you know how the kid is, how could I say no?! You disappointed to see me again, darlin’?” Joel joked with a smirk, although, oddly, he barely made eye contact with you. 

You shrugged. “Eh, not quite my girl but you’ll do.” You joked and held the beers out for Joel. “Plus, she can’t exactly drink these. Not for a couple years anyway.” You winked. 

“Or ever.” Joel replied dryly, catching your eyes this time. He took the pack of beers from you with a smile. “I’m tellin’ ya, you didn’t need to do this for me! It was a small favour. How ‘bout you come on in, we can crack open a beer together?” Joel asked, opening his door wider for you to step in. 

“Oh I wouldn’t wanna impose, I bought them for you to enjoy. Don’t feel like you have to share!” You smiled. 

Joel shook his head and gently took your wrist, to pull you inside. “Nonsense. You look like you’ve had a busy mornin’ and could do with a beer. Go ahead and make yourself comfy in the lounge, I’ll put these in the fridge and grab a couple.” 

You obliged albeit reluctantly, you didn’t mind spending time with Joel but he drove you mad; just being in a close proximity to him like this drove you insane, you couldn’t act on what you wanted and it was torture. You sat down on the couch, crossed your legs and smoothed your dress down, the hem rested comfortably on your upper thigh, just teasing with a glimpse of your forbidden skin. 

Joel entered the room and gave you a bottle of beer, you shot him a small thank you before taking a sip. He sat opposite you in his arm chair and let his legs sprawl out widely; he was wearing shorts and a tight-fitting t-shirt, the material hugging his biceps deliciously. 

“How was your hot date last night?” Joel enquired innocently, pretending he didn’t know what you had been up to. “I’m sure I could hear you screamin’ from here.” He teased. 

You laughed dryly and shot him a deathly glare which only made him chuckle. “Wasn’t a hot date, I was actually um, I was working.” You mumbled and stared into the neck of your bottle before drinking some more. 

“That time of night? I thought you worked at that fancy little store in the city?” Joel asked, probing you further. He was treading on thin ice, either you were going to open up about what you were doing or you were going to lie through your teeth. He noticed the way you switched your legs over and shifted awkwardly in your seat. 

“I uh — I have an extra job.” You shrugged, keeping your cards close to your chest. Joel had never really spent this much alone time with you, especially not to ask you this many questions. “How’s work going for you, a lot of jobs on at the moment?” You asked just trying to deflect the attention away from your work. 

“Nope, you’ve got me intrigued, darlin’. What were you doing? What’s this extra job?” 

You cringed, you placed your bottle on the table and hid your face behind your palms. “I — I model and perform on an adult-only site; I do live shows of porn, basically.” You admitted, your cheeks were glowing under your hands. 

Joel watched as you hid your face, he bit back a smirk and watched as your embarrassment poured from you; it was wrong to admit, but it turned him on, to see you all embarrassed and flustered. 

“Oh yeah, I know the ones.” Joel said casually, taking another drink with a shrug. 

You peered through your fingers and your mind shot back to the username. Surely it wasn’t him. No. 

“You, Joel Miller, are telling me you’re one of those creeps on the site?” You asked, raising an eyebrow up at him. 

“Wouldn’t say I was a creep.” He stated bluntly. “I have needs darlin’, especially when my neighbour drives me mad all afternoon dressed in tight shorts or a sexy little dress.” His eyebrow was cocked upwards, testing the water to see exactly how you would react. 

You put your hands on your lap, your mouth fell agape and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat again. 

“Oh. I. Um. You?” You mumbled incoherently, your brain not working quickly enough to form an intelligible sentence which caused Joel to laugh. “You — you see anything on those sites of interest?” You asked quietly, your hands smoothing the fabric of your dress more out of nerves than to adjust the garment. 

“Saw a nice little show last night…” Joel said quietly, he stood from his seat; you could see the vague outline of his thickening cock in his shorts and your privates throbbed. “Thought I recognised the room…” he said, sitting down next to you. “But then I thought, no, it couldn’t be that good little girl that lives next to me. Not with the way she was performing, doing such a good job at taking in her toys.”

Joel was closing the space next to you, you could feel the weight of his body next to you and his fingers tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. It was a tender movement and it made you shiver physically under his touch. You avoided making eye contact with him, you were sure this was just a joke and he was teasing you for your extracurricular job. 

“Look at me.” Joel demanded, his lips were by your ear now, they just ghosted over the area and you shook your head. “Look. At. Me.” Joel said more sternly and his voice was dropped impossibly low. 

His hand held your bare knee, his fingers teasing to travel just under your dress and you finally bared to look at him. Your eyes were wide in shock, your chest heaved slightly with your more laboured breaths and small beads of sweat collected on your neck. 

“It was you…” you whispered to which Joel just smirked. “Son of a bitch. You’re a dirty old man, Mr Miller.” You teased, still feeling nervous under his watchful gaze and touch. 

“Is that why you whimpered out my name as you squirted on your toy? Cause I’m a dirty old man?” Joel asked, his voice dripping with sheer confidence. 

“I — no I didn’t.” You huffed. 

Joel squeezed the delicate skin of your thigh and you made a pathetic noise from the back of your throat before you tried to swallow it back. 

“I heard it.” Joel said smugly. “God, made me cum so hard on myself to hear you calling out my name.” He groaned, thinking back to his activities from last night. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call out your name, I didn’t think anyone heard me. Please don’t tell anyone about my extra job.” You whined as Joel’s hand slid up under your dress slightly, his fingers brushed past your clothed heat and your eyes dipped shut for a second. 

“How about I show you how good I feel compared to those pieces of plastic.” Joel whispered. 

“Please.” You breathed and bucked your hips upwards, searching for the feel of Joel’s fingers. 

Joel silently got off the sofa, you wanted to whine and bring him back so you could feel his large frame next to you again. Before you could react, the older male was sinking to his knees in front of you and was holding your thighs firmly. 

“Wanted to taste you from the day you moved in next door.” Joel stated and your cheeks flushed at his admission. 

He pushed the fabric of your dress up, you took the hint and was quick to discard it to the side of you. Your breasts were freed from the fabric and Joel groaned deeply as he drank in your naked form. He held your thighs again and he pulled you forward so your panties were closer to his face which caused you to yelp.

“Look at you. Fuck.” Joel cursed as he let one of his fingers trail across the wet fabric of your panties. “You wet already for me? Thought you woulda got it outta your system last night.” Joel teased with a knowing smirk as your shuddered against his gentle touch. 

“Are you gonna chat up my vagina all afternoon or are you gonna show me how much better you are than my toys?” You snapped with a bratty smile. 

“I won’t give you anything if you talk to me like that. Now be a good girl and shut up for me, yeah?” Joel bit back, his voice full of condescension which admittedly, only fuelled your arousal further. 

You rolled your eyes and just as you opened your mouth to argue back with the man, he pulled your panties to the side and let one of his fingers sink into your heat roughly. You threw your head back and your fingers gripped at the fabric of Joel’s t-shirt, the sudden action throwing you off. 

Joel twisted his digit to curl it inside of you before he removed it again, causing you to whine angrily at him. You lifted your head to grumble but instead you were silenced as you locked eyes with him; he brought his wet finger to his lips and sucked it in with a soft moan. Your lips parted in silent shock as Joel sucked your arousal into his mouth, moaning like it was the finest food he had ever eaten. 

“Taste so sweet, princess. Best thing I’ve ever tasted.” He groaned, finally removing your panties from your privates. As you lifted your hips to allow the man more access, he noticed how evident your arousal was, you were near dripping onto his sofa and his mouth watered. “I’m going to eat you out now and I won’t stop until you squirt right into my mouth, so how about you be a good girl and do that for me.” Joel said sternly. 

You nodded dumbly; no man had ever spoken to you this way before, at least, no man you truly wanted. Without another word, Joel dipped his head down and licked a fat stripe up through your folds. You moaned softly, the noise was delicate and sincere, a complete contrast to how you sounded coming from his laptop screen last night. Your body shuddered against the sofa and your fingers had weaved their way into Joel’s salt and pepper hair; his soft locks entangled with your digits. You gently tugged at his hair causing the male to make a gruff noise into your folds, the vibrations rippled through you and you moaned again. 

Joel sucked your clit into his mouth, the sensitive bud was already throbbing with the male’s previous efforts and as soon as his lips suctioned around it your back was arching off his sofa. The old couch creaked under your body as your contorted your back when Joel’s tongue flicked over your clit. 

“Fuck me!” You cursed, one of your hands leaving Joel’s head to pathetically grip at the edge of the sofa for further stability. 

“Later,” Joel mumbled into your wet pussy. 

You let out a breathy chuckle; your head was swimming, your thighs were shaking with the pleasure as Joel continued to work his tongue expertly over your clit and occasionally to dip down into your hole. You felt your orgasm start to bubble lowly in the depths of your belly, just a gentle simmer as Joel licked at you like a man who had been starved. 

As if he read your mind of wanting more, Joel brought two fingers up to your hole; he barely dipped them into you and you whimpered weakly. He pushed one finger in, just barely up to his knuckle before he withdrew it and licked over your clit again, the tip of his tongue flicking at it gently. 

“Please.” You pleaded with a weak and shaking voice. 

Joel looked up at you; his dark pupils were blown with lust and he smirked as he let both fingers push into you, again, barely going past his first knuckles. He twisted his fingers in you and pushed them in fully until the palm of his hand met your body. You let out a loud gasp as your eyes fluttered shut and like a perfectly-timed dance, Joel flicked his tongue across your clit once again. 

“Fucking Christ, shit.” You cursed, your voice loud and sharp as Joel worked his fingers rhythmically into you. 

Joel laughed softly against you as he plunged his fingers into you again and again. He wrapped his lips around your clit again and suckled at the bud softly as his fingers worked into you quickly. Your orgasm came crashing down, you barely had time to register it as Joel worked his fingers quicker, he curled them upwards and they bumped the spongy spot inside of you that had screams tumbling from your lips. 

“G-gonna,” is all you managed to get out, the room was filled with your moans and the obscene wet noise of your arousal as Joel fingered you with fervour. 

“That’s it,” Joel cooed. “Good girl, cum for me. Soak me, need it.” He moaned as he pulled his mouth off of your clit but kept his face near and he replaced it with his thumb. 

The different sensation threw you off momentarily but it was too late and your orgasm ripped through your body, it drew a long moan from your throat; the noise was animalistic and raw and it echoed through the room. Joel removed his fingers and with that, you let go and whimpered as you gushed onto Joel’s face, he lapped up your juices and you shuddered through your orgasm. Joel watched as your pussy clenched and fluttered around air, the aftershocks of your orgasm evident as you writhed in your spot. 

“Look at you.” He sighed happily, watching you still. “Even better than on the screen, so perfect, so beautiful.”

You blushed as his words and you weakly let go of his hair your legs were still quaking as he let go of them, you slumped against his sofa; completely unashamed of your naked state compared to Joel’s fully dressed one. He stood and the outline of his hard cock was evident in his light shorts, there was a darkened wet patch and your mouth watered at the thought he got that turned on by pleasuring you. 

“Come here and taste yourself on me.” Joel breathed, taking your cheek to pull you in for a bruising kiss. 

You held onto Joel’s arms as he kissed you, his tongue trailed over your bottom lip and greedily you sucked it into your mouth, urging him to explore every crevice of your mouth. You made a small noise of appreciation as your mouth was flooded with the taste of Joel mixed with the tang of your own arousal. 

“Fuck me already. Please.” You breathed against Joel’s face, momentarily breaking the kiss. 

“How do you wanna take me, darlin’?” He asked. 

“However you wanna give it to me.” You retorted with a smirk. 

“Get on your knees on the couch, stick your ass up for me and show me that pretty little cunt.” He growled lowly and you obliged happily, doing as he said. 

You positioned yourself so your chest was pressed to the back of the sofa and you allowed Joel full access to yourself. You wiggled your ass as you heard Joel toss his shorts to the side haphazardly. 

“All for me now, huh?” Joel asked, his hands mauled at the skin of your ass and spread your cheeks, he took his length and pressed the tip into your hole, before you knew it, it was gone again and he slapped it gently at your oversensitive clit. “Tell me how bad you want it.” He hissed, running his cock through your wet folds, nudging your clit with each pass. 

“Please, Joel. I want it so bad, never needed a cock so bad in my life, you already made me feel better than any of my toys or the boys I’ve fucked before put together. Please give me your cock, wanna feel your cum fill me up so bad. P-please.” You whined, your voice coming out as small, wrecked sobs as Joel continued to rub his cock over you. 

“Good girl.” He praised and without warning be bottomed out inside of you, you moaned loudly; a perfect blend of pleasure and pain rippled through your veins as Joel brushed some hair from your face so he could evaluate your emotions. 

He rubbed your ass with his palm and landed a bruising slap to it, you moaned and threw your head back in pleasure. Joel took that opportunity to pull his hips back, to pull out of you fully; he passed his cock through your soaked pussy lips once again. Your mouth opened to complain but before a single noise could leave your mouth, he was pushing back into your greedy heat without warning. 

“So. Fucking. Tight.” Joel groaned, accentuating each of his words with a hard thrust of his cock. 

He built up a harsh pace, your fingers turned white as they gripped at the fabric of the sofa below you. You were sure if you held on any tighter then the fabric would surely rip under you. Your body prickled as if a hundred needles were touching your skin, your stomach knotted as you felt another orgasm working it’s way through you. Your walls fluttered around Joel and your legs wobbled as you tried to stay grounded as his thick cock nudged that sweet spot inside of you. 

“G-gonna, gonna…” You whimpered, your eyes screwing shut. 

“Mmhm, that’s it. Atta girl, cum on my cock. Tell me how good it feels, princess.” Joel whispered, leaning forward so his body was pressed to yours. 

“Fuck!” You cursed, teetering on the edge of your orgasm. “Feels so good, n-never felt this good before. Making me feel drunk on your cock, gonna need it again and again and again. Please give it to me. Please. So good.” You rambled, words falling from your lips carelessly as Joel fucked you into your orgasm. 

His thick but nimble digits wound their way around you to fall to your clit, he circled the bud perfectly and it had your head swimming. It was the thing you needed to push you over the edge; you felt as if you had fallen from a cliff, just floating in midair as Joel worked you through it. Moans of profanity and his name fell from your parted lips as you came around the man’s cock, your walls clenched him and held him tightly. 

Seemingly, that was what sent Joel over the edge, his hips faltered and he thrust into you once more, much weaker this time. His cock twitched in your walls and with a groan, and his hands squeezing your hips roughly, he came deep inside of you. You whimpered as your body went limp; Joel’s hot cum filled you and it made you clench weakly around him, your greedy hole trying to suck him in deeper still. 

“Fuck me.” You whispered, your ass still on display for the older man as he pulled out of you with a wince. 

“Just did that, darlin’.” He laughed breathlessly, trying to gain composure once again. 

You rolled your eyes, was typical Joel to state that when clearly it was a rhetorical state meant as a throwaway. 

“I should um, well I should pop to the bathroom to quickly clean up and then get out of your hair.” You said, somewhat awkwardly as you stood shakily from the sofa and held your thighs together tightly. 

Less than a minute ago, the man’s cock had been inside of you and now that the thick tension and lust had cleared the air you couldn’t help but feel a little bit awkward about it. 

“Stay?” Joel asked. “I mean, I wasn’t really done with you yet.” He grinned boyishly and you couldn’t help but smile at him. “Just an idea, darlin’ but how about we go shower and clean up and order some food. We still got more beers to get through. Then, I’m sure if you’re a really good girl, I could give you my cock again.” His hand was stroking up and down your arm, his fingers tickled your skin and in their wake they left goosebumps. 

You looked up at Joel, into his deep brown eyes and you nodded with a grin. 

“Deal. But you’re paying for the food, you ol’ perv.” You teased with a giggle. 

“Get upstairs.” Joel said with a roll of his eyes. 

You laughed to yourself again as you walked away, to go upstairs only to yelp loudly when Joel came up behind you and placed a light tap to your ass and rushed in front of you. 

“You’re dead, Miller.” You called and chased up behind him to return the favour. 

———————————————————————

—————

[pensbridge]

S3 First Reactions 🪞🐝🦋🪶

❤️ Already fangirled about the whole engagement night - the hugs, Hyacinth!!!

Colin not being able to stay away for that long after their engagement announcement and immediately excusing himself at Anthony's suggestion is exactly what I'd expect of him. ×

❤️ Colin calling out Portia. "out of love." 😢

❤️ "OUR BRIDGERTON NAME" is so important, because it's reiterating that Penelope's getting to choose her family when the one she was born into is so awful

He was so nervous when she didn't respond to their new home.

"Because I love you...Pen." 😢

"Are you sure?" PEN, no 😭😭😭

❤️ That mirror moment (i love how he said "the way your eyes shine when you look at me..." callback to her complimenting his eyes) "...And other things..."

bxtch they stuck with the thread of Colin not opening his eyes to stay in the dream and Pen checking to see if it's real when they kiss

The eye acting of Nicola and Luke! (they are being doe eyes x the intensity of his gaze or w/e it is)

The gulp <3 Nicola

"You are so beautiful."

❤️ The first time!!!

"I hope my husband.." - Fran, AND John -"I would not dream of it" 😯 asdfjgkglyl

Kate & El (got their s2 vibes)

Ahh, the "Do I look a mess?" "You are my mess" was delivered so perfectly.

cute, cute, cute riding through town in carriage (no personal space)

The hand kiss in front of portia!

Colin handing Eloise the spoon 🤣

❤️ the charades game - the cutest thing (they're holding hands)

Also, fuckin Anthony being tooo competitive 😆

Peneloise rights! The back 'n forth in the game 😬

The panic attack was high-octane; the concern in the scene was cute xxx

❤️ Fran looking at John & Violet hating this story lol.....and then, me noticing her realization to another child in love

❤️ The look & collar tug in the church (polin is so dorky & domestic already)

❤️ Soooooo....the spontaneous dance in the church is better than I thought it was gonna be...their goofy footwork, spinning in a multitude of circles "dancing with MY FUTURE WIFE in THE CHURCH WHERE WE WILL BE MARRIED" bye

Part 1, the ton jokes and bullies them and Part 2, we just see people that can't help but get happy and giddy when they see their young love. Violet and Lady Danbury awwing at polin and embracing them in the park!!!

❤️ "I am going to look at the very fine wainscoting" -John, please! 😅

"Not every attachment must be dramatic and hard-fought." - Francesca 😢 bby, you're right

I legit went from this man has the crazy eyes ppl talk about to *tired eyes Wide-Open*... Bi Benedict?! ..I'm getting Bi Benedict?! (I was like: Why?Is?He?Staring?at?him?Like?That? (i knew i sensed the vibes! The Best Surprise!!!)

"This dance does not compare to a private waltz in the church where we'll be married." She's SO cute! "Well perhaps we shall have to add some flourish." Stop. km now (that's so him! he is so dumb; they're married already and dumb as they should be! ×)

Props again with the deaf representation & the sass when Miss Cressida enters the ball

"A scandal writer for a daughter. Can you imagine?" - Portia (i'm sorry i love this whole sequence)

Polin gets more perfectly dork w/stepping on feet being included during their dance at The Mondrich Ball (that's very them)

Thank god for Bridgerton giving us hour long episodes in this 2nd part.

❤️ Eloise admitting she's wrong (and so casually) 😢 ps i think they both have faults but i just love this

❤️ "The column began because I felt powerless in my own home." - Pen (well, i'm glad she said it!)

ok, now Pen admits her faults. all is right again

❤️ Irish accent again

"You are Lady Whistledown." This reveal was everything

omg, was this the scene where he wasn't supposed to cry, but did?! What would I have done without this reaction in such an important moment?! 😢

I love how Penelope highlighted the voiceless as she said she should with Eloise in her new edition of Whistledown

Violet to Agatha - "..but I hope you know that my care for you is not contingent on your aid." 😢 (she sees her)

This whole fight outside the modiste's. 😭

"I have been careful. You have been foolish.."

❤️ "I LOVE YOU" and he was shocked (an 'ily for you' moment) [i was not expecting the follow up to his line to go like that]

❤️ They deserve a hot passionate makeout before they are married where they get completely caught up after fighting.

"What am I chopped liver?" yes Anthony in this situation you are.

❤️ Violet calling in Kanthony for Colin marital advice

❤️ Yellow

The look at each other down the aisle.

❤️ Vows. Weddings on this show are usually so unhappy, but I appreciate that Colin is still so reassuring & clearly beaming about this when there is residual upset/confusion.

❤️ Eloise cryyinng

Ben's line to El- "..The friendship you have with Penelope... As the one you have with Colin." xxx (she doesn't wanna lose them)

"OUR child will always be a Bridgerton, but I should like them to know that they are a Sharma as well." fxck 🥲

"I should like to dance with my husband.."

The disappearing people in the wedding dance. like they're the only 2 ppl in the room! (Bridgerton either has it out for me [to cry] or loves me so much)

ANTHONY 👁👁 Marcus & Violet

Colin's hand caressing on Pen's face at the end of the dance they're really coming for me (bro did he almost kiss her?!??? i freaked out; had to rewind)

The queen excusing all non-Bridgertons + "Penelope, you are a Bridgerton now."

I kind of love that "Everyone except the Bridgertons are to scatter," but Lady Danbury's just there

GOD (I knew it as soon as it was coming) Eloise hugs Pen <3 🥲

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod bi Ben

❤️ The hair grab!

This printer's assistant is on my shit list

SCOTLAND!!! JOHNCESCA

"It is not up to you what we do." 🤭❤️🤣 Colin mad but still ready to defend his wife (as it should be)

"I know my father was a good man and you are a good friend." Violet-Agatha feels

🙀He kept the letters!

💛John's words to Mama Bridgerton (her children's traits)

She said she was a fumbling mess in front of Edmund like 5 minutes before she is fumbling in front of Marcus

"Then how am I meant to help you?" ❤️ "By loving me."

❤️ Pen's love confession

"....to be a young lady to whom no one listens." - Pen!~Eloise shared look

Philippa + her "bugs"

😲 Lady Danbury x Pen (she knew! ❤️)

❤️ Colin's love confession (them crying together x)

El traveling with Johncesca

Mi-MICHAELA Stirling ... Bridgerton I swear if you are queerbaiting

OH MY GOD! Mama Bridgerton's words -FRANCESCA is fumbling her words.

❤️ Colin focussing on the hands in bed

Pen on top!

"Your father is always trying to distract with a clever word &..." "You think my smile is beguiling?" x "I could not have written without the help of Auntie Penelope." They are so obsessed with each other

Philomena?! did i hear that rt? omg Philippa

Yay we got confirmation of Colin's book! (I can only hope they're sitting in bed reading next season).

[spacelessbian]

thoughts on Agatha All Along FINALE

Full spoilers ahead, 100% don't read if you haven't seen episodes 8 and 9.

I really enjoyed the finale, both episodes had a lot to offer and overall I am quite happy with how the show concluded. Things that I liked in no particular order:

The REVEALS. There is simply nothing better than a reveal that recontextualizes everything. And we didn't get just one, but two! Personally I found Agatha running a con and murdering women for centuries the more fun one, but Billy actually creating the Road was also really good and even though I've only seen the show once (unlike many people on here, no doubt), I can name many points in the story and in the dialogue where this is worked in and suddenly makes sense. Really great stuff.

Agatha and Nicky. I was dreading this part a little bit because I know Nicholas Scratch is some sort of big name in Marvel comics and I truly couldn't care less, so I'm pleased with what we got – a genuinely sweet yet tragic story of a mom and her son, destined to death even before being born. I was surprised (but in a good way) by Agatha's quiet reaction to Nicky's death because we know his death hurt her badly, but that's just how it is sometimes.

Agatha and Rio. I won't say I'd always had fate in Marvel to not mess this up, so yay! I don't think they did. This relationship is the heart of the show (and it is black and beats for the queers) and I think the writers did it justice (apart from one thing which I will get to in the next section). The kiss was intense, sexy, beautiful and also tragic and both Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza did a fantastic job with every piece of dialogue and every expression. I want them to play doomed lovers in five more projects, at least.

The coven. I already blogged about Jen but man, is it funny. Even this was Agatha all along, but she is such a menace she hasn't even realized that. I'm truly happy for Jen making it through and getting her power back. I'm glad we saw Alice's last moment and I liked how much Billy cared about her, Lilia and Sharon.

Agatha's death. I can't help myself, I need to go to that moment again. I was destroyed by that. It was so beautiful, both thematically and also visually and all. The flowers and mushrooms? The sun coming up? I kept thinking about Hozier's Work Song: When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her. (whadup, Rio reference)

Agatha and Billy specifically in that last battle scene. She was blue you guys, she was just completely blue and in the exact same blue that Billy wears in his silly Marvel costume. And Billy just offered her his power, without questions and without wanting anything in return! And she didn't kill him! (Writing that down, the bar is on the floor for Agatha lol.)

There are other small things (like the Subaru lol), but I am ready to go to the bad section now. Two things I did not like (hidden for lenght but also because not everyone wants to read negative stuff):

Agatha's ghost. I'm gonna say it. Agatha as a ghost looks fucking terrible and her existence itself diminishes her death scene. I do understand why they did it and even why she looks like that (Agatha in the comics, as I understand it, is Wanda's mentor and also an older white haired lady, so they wanted to keep that but it didn't make sense with Wanda anymore), but I just hate it. Especially the wig.

The Marvel stuff. Yes, I realize this sounds stupid, it is a Marvel show after all. We wouldn't get a stupid gimmick like ghost Agatha joining Billy to look for his brother if this wasn't a starting point for the Wiccan. And I like Billy, I do, I also (obviously) love Agatha, who was first introduced in WandaVision (I realize the hypocrisy), but it just doesn't work for me. I would rather think about the beautiful death scene with it's poetic tragedy than about white haired Agatha floating on a washing machine, I'm sorry.

That being said, I really really liked the whole show and I am happy to say I hooked in my best friend (if you are reading this, you are contractually obliged to like the post, you know how it is) and that I actually know other people irl who watched it and enjoyed it. I'm sad it's over and even sadder that in this day and age, noone will talk about it in about two to three weeks. Anyway, it was lovely.

[cementcornfield]

OK SO. i did kind of a silly little thing lmao. this is gonna be long so read more below if you want to see me be ridiculous again.

so like, one of my key things when i am Compelled by a narrative is that i am only an Observer of the narrative. i do not interact with the components of it or pretend i have any control over it. (think star trek prime directive) i don't try to interact with players ever, i don't want their attention on any social media, not interested in any of that! but! i kind of broke my own rule here by reaching out NOT TO ANY PLAYERS but indirectly kind of, by reaching out to a podcast by a beat writer who DOES regularly interact with the players lmao. i just really need answers on the Clothes Saga and i needed to at least TRY to get the beat writers aware of it. introduce this narrative to their zeitgeist you know?

i wrote my email using my goddamn government name but thankfully they were respectful of my choice to not have it revealed lol. i presented the facts, did not include any of the Implications (because i only wanted to come off as 80% crazy, not 100%) and asked them to please please ask joe or ja'marr about this.

but unfortunately lmao, despite how clearly and carefully i presented my information!! they messed a lot of it up hahahah. i included the video clips that they clearly did not watch, i said the Us Weekly article was from that day, NOT two years ago. but hey, whatever, at least they read it which was way more than i expected.

and of course they didn't Get It, not that i expected two 40-something cis straight sports guys to, but they did confirm that it was likely that both joe and ja'marr had lied at some point. they somehow deducted that ja'marr must be jealous of joe's clothes and therefore won't buy him clothes now, but that he probably did in the past. they also emphasized that ja'marr makes less than joe, so why would he buy him things (YOU DON'T GET IT!!! THE MONEY ISN'T WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE!!) but hey. i still give them credit for trying. and frankly, i wasn't asking their opinion, even though they gave it. i just want them to be Aware, maybe share this weird set of facts with other beat writers, and maybe, just maybe, some day one of them will ask about it!

(this video is very long and very low quality, but give it a watch if you wanna see two Sports Dudes laughing incredulously at my Investigative Prowess)

[harmlessghosty]

Hello 👋

I love video game theories and was interested on your views of the Touchstarved demo and what theories you might have on it :)

Oh my gosh, hi! ❤️

I am but a ditzy romance writer, not a lore keeper, but I have thoughts?? Apologies for how much is wrong or ridiculous because I don’t know all the current lore, and the wiki is so bare that I can hardly find anything confirmed by the devs. This is kind of just stream-of-consciousness!

Excuse my format because I don’t know how tumblr works lol

— Leander is a reference to oleander, which is a flower found basically everywhere and a fairly common, beautiful plant despite widely being considered poisonous. It gives me the idea that Leander is NOT someone to mess with and has lots of surface-level escapades (which is implied in canon) with people who find him physically beautiful but not necessarily beautiful on the inside. He also uses many underhanded, mysterious tactics to kill Soulless/Monsters/criminals, you name it. He’s everywhere, everyone knows him, everyone loves him, but he’s very dangerous under that beautiful exterior. Maybe he even kills some innocent people for the right price of big secrets. I bet he knows a LOT about Eridia’s people, so he’s viewed as trustworthy because what else can you do when he knows everything about everyone?

— Interestingly though! Leander’s main flower is the lily?? Lily is super poisonous to cats, which makes me think maybe there will be some sort of connection between Mhin’s stray cats and Leander being a danger to them (or possibly to Mhin themself).

— I feel like Leander gave himself that big scar. Maybe something went horribly wrong when he became a powerful mage. Maybe he went to Ais and the Seaspring even. It’s possible this is why their relationship is strained and they’re always trying to kill each other.

— Ais’ gang didn’t just go for a walk. They died or got turned into Soulless. Maybe after drinking from the Seaspring, after some amount of time, people turn into Soulless. It could be revealed that all the murdering of Soulless ends up being murdering of your fellow humans?? One really big secret.

— Mhin is a stereotypical “broken bird” trope. Super cynical and sarcastic. Went through major trauma and now they’re a hunter with a heart of gold. Not to mention their bird motif that a lot of people say is obvious?? I think that’s an interesting way to look at them.

— Also! “The vultures can smell death.” It gives Mhin the connection to the birds, that they’re turning into a vulture maybe?? Maybe they hate it as well because they’re drawn to stray cats as friends, and vultures go after smaller critters. They’re scared of hurting the only friends they have (including Kuras, who practically took them under his wing). Not to mention it’s a reference to them being able to smell death on the MC.

— Vere and Kuras were both in Eridia since the days it began, and they’ve butted heads for many, many years. Maybe Vere was cursed by Kuras into his current Monster form for having connections to the Senobium. Kuras thought it was funny to give Vere traits of a sneaky fox, maybe not even knowing that they would last forever OR because Vere did something awful to him. That may be the reason Kuras is repenting so much.

— This also can give credence to the idea of Vere saying (paraphrasing), “You’re not a human but not a Monster, like me,” to the MC. He was turned into a Monster rather than born one.

— The “Lloventian knot” Vere mentions, when you look it up, leads you to the “true lover’s knot,” which involves two overhand knots and some parallel ropes. Makes me think he’s got some big secret of a lover he’s lost, or maybe he was just teasing the MC with something that sounded sexual, but it seems odd to have a specific mention of something that may (or may not even??) exist.

— “Danger is drawn to you like a moth to flame,” from Vere. He absolutely can sense something “special” about the MC that, no matter what MC does, they’re in grave danger. Hence why the game description says that the ending can either be lovey-dovey or blood-icingly awful. I don’t know about having theories for this quote, but it feels so very important.

— There’s got to be a riff between Kuras and Mhin at some point for their opinions on the Senobium. I just feel it in my bones.

— Ais was the first to drink from the Seaspring, which is why he’s not technically one of the Groupminds. It also explains why he’s the leader of the gang, since he’s the most sound of mind, but I’m betting he’s scared of Ocudeus. He speaks in such short sentences most of the time because his brain is so muddled. I also find it interesting how the MC has only heard of the Groupminds but never seen one, given their assumed upbringing in a rougher environment. But that’s just kind of my opinion with no real basis in the demo.

— Sparrows symbolize a lot of things, like hope, bravery and friendship. I like to think that Ais picked the nickname for people who come to the Seaspring, because they’re all full of innocent hope that they can be cured. They also symbolize community, so anyone who drinks from the Seaspring is part of one big happy family!

Again, a lot of these could be counteracted by canon content from the devs, but I still think there are lots of fun things to explore about this game, even if I’m not right about a chunk of things. Just think of everything I said as an AU!

[zaffiri-saffici]

Here's a screenshot of my fic's tagline from the SQSN Blurb Generator. (if you want to use the generator yourself to read the other taglines for the amazing fics being released, click here!)

Ahhhh, y'all don't know HOW excited I am about this!

Not many know this, but I've been in a big writing slump the last 10+ years. I used to write Sweenett, Bellamort, Bellamoine (my how the times have changed lol) and when I got a corporate job, I lost a lot of my motivation to be creative from a storytelling perspective. Going into 2023, I decided it was time to change that.

This year's SwanQueen Supernova Challenge was just the kick I needed to get motivated to write again. Over the last few months, I've put together a ~86K retelling of the Camelot arc, a story that does the arc justice and gives us the SwanQueen tale we should have gotten on screen - the real story that was being set up since the beginning of the show.

This arc was especially impactful for me when it first aired years ago. After Emma sacrificed herself in place of Regina to become the Dark One at the end of season 4, I thought to myself, Yes, this is it. This is how the writers are going to finally give us SwanQueen. The greatest magic in OUAT is about True Love, and love is sacrifice - the ways in which we demonstrate, through our actions, what oftentimes words fail to do, right?

Wrong. A&E shat the bed, turned the Dark Swan arc into a complete mess, and slapped a big CS stamp on it at the end. Outside of just the blatant queer bait, 5A was simply: unfulfilling. It was lopsided, lazy. It did not fit the countless messages we were receiving as watchers and fans of the show, in all the ways the writers would define what 'True Love' was, to then push the story in a direction that made no sense to those definitions.

Well, this October, as part of SQSN, I'm here to change that. I am so excited about this piece. I am so proud of myself, too. I have never put together something so large (my longest fic was 18K words and is still incomplete). Further, I've never put together something as complex and full as this piece. It not only rounds out that arc, along with lots of the unanswered concepts that the show introduced in earlier seasons that eventually went nowhere, it does it in a way that feels right. Good.

This story was a practice in healing; I hope it can offer you the same.

Sneak Peak 1 | Sneak Peak 2 | Sneak Peak 3

Stay tuned for the reveal and the fic link drop this October 3rd!

10/3 Edit: The fic is officially here! Enjoy, my friends!

[we-cool-beans]

Excuse me! Will the wings au ever get a fic??? I don't know if it'd ever been mentioned and I was curious since it's one of my favs

Ehfbwjdbjs?!! Wah! Thanks so very very much that makes me so happy to hear ;u;

As much as I would love for that to happen, I am not the best writer in the slightest haha.

It was meant to be a fic to start off though! With a completely different idea! But the longer I tried to plot it out, the more I got different Ideas for this current au and decided to scrap the first draft 😅

If anyone wants to make a fic of the wings au, you are more than free too! I would sob and cry immensely and cherish the fic to the ends of time as well lol!!

The original wings AU idea is under the cut if anyone is interested :)!

Its the basic plot of HLVRAI, except Benrey has always been a winged alien species.

In his more human form, he just (very very uncomfortably and at times painfully) keeps his wings under his uniform. Boss fight Benrey has a completely different form (spoilers for future wing au stuff I am still working on)

Fic would have started off a looong while after hlvrai, Benrey respawns in the middle of winter and wanders to Gordons house. Gordon finds him absolutely messed up (im a sucker for “benrey respawns with his final boss injuries and Gordon/science team has to help him heal” aus haha) and basically passing out in the snow, taking him in to help warm him up.

Gordon tends to Benreys wounds until he wakes and tries to keep him warm. Benrey begins complaining about being uncomfortable and needing to “stretch”, Gordon has no idea what in the world this means, but encourages Benrey to do so, mainly due to mostly forgiving Benrey and wanting to try to fix their relationship.

Wings reveal happens, Gordon tries to keep his calm but is also loosing his mind trying to comprehend that Benrey had this under his vest. The. Entire. Time.

Benreys wings are obviously very messed up. Gordon had a pet bird growing up who had issues preening itself, so he knows how to preen wings as well as a human could, so he helps Benrey fix up his wings. Gayness ensues :)

[canonically47]

here I am :) review?

I LOVE YOU ANON!!! <333 (seriously you are the best!! i love sharing my thoughts and receiving your message straight after the episode is over you are the best ever <3)

as always, let's break this down in bullet points!!

SPOILERS FOR DCAS EP 4! (duh.)

right off the bat, i gotta say, why is yul so VIOLENTLY racist? 'curry girl' are you KIDDING ME??? oh my god WHEN is he leaving?

they are... running out of ideas for the challenges, just like in TDAS lol. what do you mean an ALL-STARS CHALLENGE is a race to dig up sandbags LMFAO?? we really are getting TDAS quality with this season, pushed relationships (grett & yul, connor & riya), exaggerated antagonists (riya when i catch you riya), well at least the generations are interacting with each other :3 not all in a good way though

also why are they still in their swimming stuff i don't. get it did they forget to redress them? i get that they were around digging in the sand but i think they could've done that in clothes no?

jake continues to piss me off and despite her sob story i continue to care very little about ashley. i like what they're doing for her i think?? but i really don't care about her shrug

TOM AND AIDEN FRIENDSHIP WOOOOOOOO I LOVE THEM SMSMSM MY FAVORITE M/M FRIENDSHIP IN THIS SERIES EVERRR

jake got ran through the DIRTTT in this episode I AM LIVING FOR IT also he talked SO LITTLE WOOOOOOOO FUCK YOU JAKE I AM LIVING FOR THE JAKE ERASURE

VILLAINS ALLIANCEEEEEEEE <333

oh my god miriam literally scared the shit out of me with that reveal. this series is so unpredictable so i was ready to say goodbye to alec BUUUT if we go by writer/total drama logic we know that his arc not being finished (i.e. him not having made up with fiore, which is clearly his main plot point) means he would not be going home anytime soon. i really expect, by this logic, for him to last long. i think there are 20-21 episodes this season, and i expect him to be there until at least 15. he will definitely make the final six, and no way will he not make merge. i'm rooting for the guy so hard

i never expected to cheer at miriam's elimination, but here i am. she's been asking for it this season i think... and she actually got really downgraded?? like her whole shtick was "omg the youngsters can't communicate i gotta talk some sense into them" and that. was it. which was SOOO BORING i KNOWWW you can do better queen!! :( and i hateee how they made her rude again like her whole thing in s1 was becoming less rude through her friendship with jake come onnn how can you mess up THE QUEEN HERSELF

so, i have a theory, which immediately everyone started talking about in the chat but i'll try to speak it into existence quicker so it seems i am original: grett voted for yul. i am going to stand by this until i die. we didn't get to hear the sixth vote, but there was no need. grett voted for yul. we know connor, alec and yul voted for miriam, so that's her three confirmed votes. we know miriam voted for alec. that leaves riya and grett; and while i do admit that it's likely riya voted for him because she dislikes him, and i hate to say this because i hate her, riya is smart. she knows yul is a bitch boy and not a threat. she would absolutely jump at the chance to vote either miriam or alec, so that's another vote for either of them. grett. voted. for. yul. and i am so excited for where this will take us.

although i enjoyed this episode, i think it was one of the weakest of the season. the challenge was absolutely boring, jake existed which like?? ew?? also yul was there so massive thumbs down, and riya was there so automatic dislike, also jake and yul had lines? disgusting ew. yul and riya had some plot relevancy this episode which disgusted me.

but seriously jokes aside the episode was pretty solid aside from the challenge, that's a hill i'll die on. ellie and alec still have a good dynamic which is GREAT to see, i cheered when i saw alec pop out of that bush to talk to her, and i am so happy to see the four s1 and two s2 villains uniting forces. i cannot wait for the fanart we'll get of these six (says girl who wants two of them dead)

[aquarian-queen]

Troy Otto

if you don't want to read below the cut, scroll down or mute the ftwd spoilers tags because they will be spoilers regarding Troy.

So we already knew our boy Troy was returning, but I had to go down the rabbit hole to see what the people at SDCC saw from the comments since they weren't allowed to film.

So 1st: it wasn’t a trailer that was shown, but a sneak peak of a scene. Not sure if it will be released, but they might tease things until w’ere closer to when S8B drops. Which is in October 22nd and such a long way to go still. I really hope we'll get some more news or the people that were there can tweet a bit more or even show that dang footage! 😭😭😭

This person said Troy seemed to be the antagonist, which I think isn't that surprising given that Madison bashed his head in with a hammer.

So this is the supposed scene where Troy is revealed to be alive. Madison and Strand are looking at someone, likely Troy.

The next few tweets give a better description of what we first see and might expect. Troy's the leader of this armed group (reminder of his militia experience at the ranch??) who have taken Madison and Strand hostage.

He's APPARENTLY BLIND on the side where Madison bashed his head in with the hammer. Also remember the end scene of S8A, where the hand picks up all the items reminiscent of S3 and put it in the bag obv. spoiling to Troy? He is wearing the glasses to cover his eye. Lol I remember Daniel Sharman comparing Troy to the Governor (but different) in an interview and it's low key funny he's also blind in one eye and covers it.

The 🔨 in the end credits is also the one Madison seems to want to bash his head in the trailer, but Strands stops her. He apparently agitated her or mightve shown the hand in the bag as well? I wonder if Troy found Alicia dead or some shit and took it. Because he obviously was the one listening to the broadcast Madison put out.

Aside from my stil lingering fears that the current writers will mess him up, I am glad to just see his face and see how it will end. Since they brought him back, I don't want him to die cause what was the point??!?!? But given Troy's story (he's a father and will save his daughter with the help of Madison) I wonder if it will sort of come full circle for Madison (who is the main character of the show) and she'll either go full evil, try to right her wrong or will be put down by Troy or someone else. I lean more to the latter two!!!

These were the only snippets I could find so far. Also credit to the tweeters and accounts.

BUT HOW EXCITED ARE YA'LL????? I need to reorganize my thoughts cause I am so excited!!!!

Edit: excuse the typos and grammar mistakes.

[m0e-ru]

why do you use him/her he/she pronouns for mim in that post?? isnt mim strictly they/them???

yeah okay no. 1: sorry that post was literally unreadable no punctuation no context no shit no nothing no life. like literally how my discord message dumps look like I am SO sorry I really am. you can always ask though I talk about shit like it's an already known thing I'm sorry my dear okyakusan

no. 2.1: umm short answer: idc about pronouns really I've been juggling them the whole time. I'm balling 🤾🤾🤾 also I'm a writer and I like to be dramatic but that comes with the fact I make shit too vague and it doesn't make sense in the end but I like the drama. like telanovelas <-doesn't know what they're saying at this point

no. 2.2 and all the other sections under cut because I'll be a lot more talkative this time around while I uh. still have the energy though

I'll just put a really loose chart here for a second

Izy (my idea ,technically OC, of the whole Iznmi and Marie once was) - she/her Marie - she/her Mim - whatever (the situation calls for)

while publically and online I don't talk about my ideas in detail or like, something closer to a finished product, I do like to use pronouns dramatically trying to make use of the English langauge (<- thinks in 2-3 languages at a time). In this case, it'd be towards mim's different aspects. as a diety (she/her), human facade (he/him), or like uh Ame-no-Sagiri (it/its) and other stuff they do while possessing people probably.

imagine there being an omniscient narrator but likes to be dramatic and talking to an audience in the voice of a certain character and from that "perspective" (<- desperately trying to explain their bullshit writing style). If I write from a Teddie perspective then the narrative would use "sensei" for Souji and describe details curiously, or an Adachi perspective where the narrative would use "idiot" and sounds very annoyed and lazy, or Souji using "senpai" and is particular with descriptions and with things that catch his eye, or, very vaguely, mim trying to distinguish their roles and identities as god and as this human they're acting as.

but the narrator is also its own guy and decides to make analogies that could foreshadow something or make things sound interesting or sound embarrassing and cheesy and (gritting teeth, punching the fucking air)

onto a more personal take though, I guess I do leave the impression I use they/them for mim pretty firmly but not really strictly! I am a silly guy I don't really care it's not really firm at all lol

that, or you caught me while I was building this station from the ground up (2020 blog making) and pronoun usage was something really. violent eye twitching. to me. Sure I had some issues with it on a really personal level but it's fine now if that's what you're worried about. I get the feeling I do and if you came back after a while to see me messing around and letting she/he come out of my mouth without choking I'm sorry if that disturbed you. Just remembering I'm in a Community and this guy was a doll thing to be played around with and I can decide my corners and circles with blorbo. and also coming to terms with. myself (self projection revealing things about oneself WHO KNEW!!!!!!!) Or I could be completely mega wrong and I'm the only one in the world who had this experience oh well sorry

reiterating from my last letter (really long post, whichever that one was) "Mim" can be something so personal but at the same time I don't want to alienate people but make them feel comfortable with it instead. like a house name, like I am LITERALLY that friend who has nicknames for everybody and you just know who I'm referring to and you aren't obligated to use the same terms.

mim is like my guy. my boy best friend. my mom. my terrible aunt. my knows too much grandparent. my funny uncle. my cousin from a different city. my brother. my local cryptid freak thing

LIKE use whatever you want for mim, for Nami, for Izanami, whatever. I don't want you to force yourself to use mim because you think referring to them as anything else would make me turn into a hater. I am tottsly fine really its fun seeing what other people use. like a personality indicator. but if you do use mim genuinely then, well that makes me feel a bit soft.

if you want a closer look at my brain I'll try and plot it down /scratches head/

Mim is a general go-to, Mimi if I want to feel sentimental. Hell, I'll switch it up to Iznmi like calling your teacher sir Benny in class but having to say sir De Guzman to call him out from the faculty office (unless this analogy is a bit more specific, sorry, I meant when I'm vomiting ideas in message vs trying to plot it out for a proper discussion or talk to other people who don't know I use mim)

Iznmi is all contracted because of the Horrors but I ended up sticking with it, without the added Horrors, because it got easier to type and my keyboard already learned the word in its autofill, so. I also use it when I try to distance myself from blorbo vision and try to discuss more specifically and with proper details.

Izy is the oc she's her own thing. I got tired of using "izanami-no-mikoto" all the time i mean heres my nickname documentation

Izanami is when I'm referring outside of P4 like the creation myth or other Izanamis in different media (hifumi.........).

like a special code for myself especially when I'm trying to discuss all four in one sentence (IT GETS CRAZYYY) like "Izanami (p4) and Izanami (who marie was as a whole) and Izanami (creation myth) and Izanami (there was this really cool blazblue recolor I saw one time)" I WOULD'VE GONE INSANE !

okay back to pronouns um. having mim as a blorbo put me through very special horrors but at the same time a journey that taught me a lot. figuring myself out and what kind of trans swag I want. pronouns, presentation, etc etc all that junk. and I realized I do not really care? I can do what I want and so can mim and I'm happy for them and by extension happy for me. while I don't really care, I guess I don't like messing with the topic too much publically and I know of some people who have it close to their heart and do take identity and transness very seriously. I don't want to seem apathetic but also non accepting at the same time, it's just, augh, there are reasons I don't want to be popular and the fear of having a knife to my throat to have aggressive questions like this. you can do what you want! it's cool 👍 I don't want to take sides most of the time (unconfrontational, doesnt want to fight) but I'll have opinions when I have opinions (you know. the obvious). this is, auggg it's tiring to be people pleasing in general (it is 2am) THAT'S ENOUGH OF A PEROSNAL SPIEL GOODNJGHT ANON HPE YOU HAD A NICE FKRST TWO WEEKS OF THE NEW YEAR.

[everbrilliantheartbreaker]

Tagged by @julystorms​ 

writing meme

Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

Nah I don’t really like to eat while I’m writing cause then I gotta worry about not making a mess everywhere, not getting crumbs on my laptop...too distracting. I usually keep a can of soda or something nearby though. Writing is thirsty work lol.

What time of day do you usually write?

The bulk of my writing is done 10:30 p.m. or later. At that point the rest of my house has gone to bed (and technically, I’m kinda supposed to be in bed too lol). There’s no noise, no one looking over my shoulder or bothering me, no other responsibilities weighing on me because the day is over. I don’t have anything else to do. 

Where do you write?

I curl up in bed or (if it’s still daytime) sit on the floor. I like the aesthetic of a writing desk but I’ve tried that before and I find it too stiff and uncomfortable a way to sit. Anyways my desk has become a place to collect all the junk I don’t want sitting on my floor so there’s no room there rn anyways XD 

How often do you write a new fic?

I went through a Young Justice phase where I was writing a new fic every couple of days but...now it’s like once every 400 years lmao. YJ gave me inspiration for tons of short stories but now the majority of my ideas are multi-chapter fics and I’m either too lazy to work on them or I haven’t planned far enough ahead on them that I feel it’s worth it to start writing them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you listen to music while you write?

Rarely. Usually I find it too distracting because I start singing along and I can’t follow the words and write at the same time. The only time I managed it was recently when I was writing Rest and I put on a kpop playlist. Since I don’t speak Korean and couldn’t understand the words it just became background noise. //I listened to it nonstop for two weeks while I was writing that fic and now when I hear some of those songs it literally gives me flashbacks and suddenly it’s December 20-something at 2 a.m. and I can literally see what chapter I was writing. It’s almost unsettling how strongly my brain associates those songs with that fic now.// 

Paper or laptop?

I prefer writing on my laptop cause then I can backspace and rewrite stuff easier. With paper you can’t go back and redo a whole scene without having to like. Frankenstein pages together if you know what I mean. You can just insert the new stuff where it goes, even if it takes more space than what you originally had there. Unless I’m away from home and have no other choice then sometimes I’ll write on paper. I do prefer to outline my fics on paper, tho. Cause then I can just carry the outlines with me, work on them wherever or have them in front me while I’m actually writing and not have to bother switching between Microsoft Words tabs.

Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

Not really? Just little things like if I’m writing in bed I gotta adjust the pillows just right first lol. Otherwise halfway through my back and neck start to ache. I also gotta make sure I have all my notes/outlines handy so I don’t have to break concentration and go looking for them if I forget something in the middle of writing. A lot of times I’ll open an internet tab ahead of time since I usually have to look up a lot of little things while I’m writing. Set up music beforehand if I’m gonna be listening to anything (best to pick a really long playlist or set it on repeat because it ruins my concentration if my music cuts out halfway and I gotta stop writing to restart it). Also sometimes I like to have the wiki for whatever series I’m writing open beforehand, too. All your character/location info in one handy spot. Like for Rest I made sure I had the YJ/DC wikis open to my main characters’ pages before I started most nights so it didn’t take me any longer than necessary to find what I needed to keep writing. My pre-writing rituals are less about getting into the mood and more about making sure I don’t have to break the mood once I get into it. //Because my writing mood is very fragile lol.

What do you do to get into the writing?

Idk...July talked about “maladaptive daydreaming” and after looking up what that is I realized I do that too. Like, all the time. I guess mostly I have to have it quiet and I have to have a little bit of time to, yes, daydream and sort of put myself into the story before I can start writing. Unless I’m going through an obsessive phase with whatever series I’m writing, in which case it doesn’t take me long to get into the writing at all because I’m already there. //And probably have been for the last three weeks lmao yaaay obsessive phases.// Also if I’m continuing a story I started a previous day I like to reread everything I’ve written to sort of get back into the flow of it. 

Do you have a reward system for word counts?

Nah. I hardly ever write as it is, and my word count varies wildly from one round to the next so I don’t see the point. The sense of accomplishment I get from writing anything at all is usually reward enough for me lmao.

Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

Uhhhh idk what else there is worth knowing. I edit my stories, even my finished and posted ones, constantly, because I like to reread them but every time I do I find another typo or missing word ;_; //I do this on everything I write, tho, even simple Tumblr posts. For instance I’ve reread this entire post no less than four times checking typos and whatnot.// Otherwise that’s about it.Oh I also do a lot of sketching for some of my stories before I start them. I was writing a Mikenana fic that took place in winter and I literally designed outfits for like 7 different characters before I started writing. I’ve designed school uniforms that will never actually be mentioned in the fic, and obsessively rewritten seating charts. Besides the seating charts, everything was just minor details that didn’t matter hardly at all in the actual story. But I’m a very visual person (and an artist before a writer) so I have to be able to picture everything going on pretty clearly or it just doesn’t work for me.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Dress

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peter sees you in a dress for the first time

Masterlist

“Hi, Petey.” You greeted your boyfriend as you walked into his room. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he sat at his desk and kissed his cheek.

“Hi.” Peter said before looking up. When he finally tore himself away from his notes, his jaw dropped at the sight of you in a dress.

“Woah.” He mumbled quietly.

“What?”

“You...you’re wearing a dress.” He said as a smile broke through on his lips.

You gulped and looked down at your dress, acting as if it hadn’t been on your mind since the moment you put it on. You never wore dresses, or really anything that showed off you body. There was a certain comfort you found in baggy clothes that left absolutely everything to the imagination. If no one could see, no one could judge, and that’s how you liked it.

“Oh, yeah.” You pretended to notice the dress for the first time. “I am.”

“I’ve never seen you in a dress before.” Peters smile grew. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen you in anything but black jeans or sweats.”

“Yeah, well.” You shrugged shyly. “It’s a little hot for those.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, but he was barely listening. “Have you always had that dress?”

“Yeah. I just never wear it.”

“Why not?” He asked as if it was crazy.

“I don’t know.” You chuckled at his behavior. “It’s a little revealing, don’t you think?”

“No.” He said immediately. “No, um, I think it’s perfect.”

“What?” You laughed in surprise. “You do?”

“How have I never seen this before?” Peter tugged on the bottom of the dress as he admired it. “How come you don’t wear this everyday?”

“Are you playing with me right now?” You asked skeptically.

“No.” Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t look that good.”

“Baby, with all due respect, you have never been more wrong.” Peter insisted as he got out of his chair. “You literally look perfect.”

“What?” You laughed again. “No I don’t.”

“Yes you do. Like, holy shit.” Peter put his hand on his chest and blew out a breath. “I have to sit down.”

Peter collapsed on the bed and took a deep breath, never taking his eyes off you in your dress.

“You have to be messing with me right now.” You shook your head in disbelief.

“I’m not. I’m just speechless. Give me a minute.” He requested as he stood back up. He took his time looking you up and down, admiring every inch of you in the dress.

“You’re speechless over the dress?” You raised an eyebrow. “It’s not even that cute. And you can see my stretch marks.”

“I know.” He sighed dreamily. “Oh my God. I can’t breathe.”

“What? They’re so ugly.” You insecurely squeezed your thighs together to hide the marks.

“Ugly?” Peter asked. “They’re like perfect little brushstrokes on the worlds most beautiful canvas.”

“No they’re not.” You said quietly.

“Um, yes they are.” Peter scoffed. “Don’t you know texture is what adds to the price of a painting?”

“Don’t be a smart ass.” You told him. You were already insecure about the dress, and Peter joking about it was only making it worse for you.

“I’m not.” Peter said sincerely. “Baby, how do you not see what I see? You look like an angel.”

“No I don’t.” You disagreed. “I probably look so stupid in this.”

“You do look stupid.” He nodded. “Stupid hot.”

“Stop.” You couldn’t help but smile.

“Stupid sexy?” He asked. “Is that better?”

“No.” You answered as you fought a smile. You folded your arms over your chest to try to cover yourself up, feeling more vulnerable than usual in your lack of clothing.

“Don’t cover up, please.” Peter requested as he gently moved your arms away from yourself. “I want to see the full picture.”

“The full picture has marks and scars and bumps and whatever the hell else is wrong with my body.” You mumbled as you looked down at your body.

“Wrong? Are we looking at the same body?” Peter asked. “Because I see nothing but perfection.”

“My body is not perfect.” You told him in an unamused tone.

“Your honor, she’s lying.” Peter said as he looked around.

“I’m not.” You laughed and poked his chest. “You are. You’re acting like a have a nice body when we both know I don’t. I shouldn’t have worn the dress. I don’t have the right body for it.”

Peter stared at you for a moment, realizing your feelings went deeper than just the dress. He frowned a little as a sadness clouded his brown eyes.

“Come here.” He said suddenly as he brought you over to his mirror. He stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting you rest your back on him.

“Would you look at someone else with this body and call them ugly?” He asked quietly as he stared at you in the mirror. You stared back at him as you slowly realized what he was doing.

“No.” You said finally. “I wouldn’t.”

“So why would you say those things about yourself?”

“I don’t know.” You said quietly.

“That’s okay.” Peter told you. “It’s a process, learning to love yourself. And the hardest step is always going to be step one.”

You tried to move away from the mirror, feeling insecure as you stared at your reflection, but Peter kept you in place.

“I love your body.” Peter stated. “I love it because it’s warm when you lay down beside me. And it wraps around me when I’m sad. I also love the way it looks in this dress.”

You stayed quiet as Peter listed a few more things he loved about your body. You stared at yourself as he described what he loved, trying your best to see what he saw.

“We are so lucky to have bodies, you know?” Peter said softly. “Our bodies hold us upright and keep us together. And our bodies allow us to hug people when we love them and jump when we’re happy and let feel warmth and pain and pleasure and all that good stuff. Don’t be mean to your body. It’s not mean to you.”

“This dress may have pulled a philosopher out of you.” You said as a smile broke through your lips.

“Maybe.” Peter chuckled before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Be nicer to yourself, okay? For me?”

“I’ll try.” You told him, and you meant it.

“Thank you.” He smiled. “Now could you do me a favor and tell yourself that you’re beautiful?”

“I don’t wanna.” You whined and put your hands over his.

“Just once.” He promised. “I want to hear you say it. Even if you don’t mean it, just say it.”

You looked at him for a long time in the mirror before letting out a sigh. Finally, you looked at yourself and gave yourself a weak smile.

“I’m beautiful.”

“Wow. So conceited.” Peter clicked his tongue.

“Peter.” You whined again.

“I’m kidding.” He kissed your cheek again. “I agree. You are beautiful. Don’t forget that.”

You smiled at Peter in the mirror before craning your neck to look at him.

“I won’t.” You promised. “I just need a reminder sometimes.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He told you. “Now, what other outfits have you been hiding from me?”

Tag List 🏷

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[tripthelightfandomtastic]

its my first wild wednesday of my senior year of college!!!! im taking a film class this semester and the TA sucks, so i’d like to imagine messing around w your hot, frat boy, film major TA Josh (circa highway tune era). im an english lit major and the film bros at my university are the bane of my existence, but theres something about having a little enemies to lovers with frat boy!Josh that just makes me want to throw all my morals out the window…

As a film school graduate, I completely understand how fucking annoying film bros can be. Holy fuck the way they get PISSED if you say, "I just don't think Quentin Tarantio is a good writer." I used to do that just to make them mad lol

I'd like to think you and Josh would have to do a scene together for one of your classmates short films, seeing as they didn't know of anyone else to ask who would be willing to help out. Josh is boarder line decent to get along with when you aren't talking about film, but the moment someone brings up Kubrick you want to punch him in the face.

"Kubrick was an amazing director!"

"He got a great performance out of her-"

"Um, do you even know the bullshit he put Shelley Duvall through for The Shining?!"

"By making her stay up for days on end with no sleep, and gaslighting her into thinking everyone on set hated her."

"It's still a good movie."

"You're a dick." You roll your eyes as you look over the shooting schedule, the two of you rehersing in Josh's off campus apartment. Running lines with Josh was nice most of the time, he was a good actor, it shocked you he wanted to be behind the camera instead of infront of it. You on the other hand, were just doing a classmate a solid in hopes that they would run your audio for your short film. "This script is fucking awful." Josh whispers frustrated from trying to figure out a non cringey way to read lines from a wannabe horror movie. "Yeah, its pretty cheesy." You agree, flipping through the pages of bad dialogue consisting of clichés, corny one liners and awkward flirty dialogue that only proves the guy who wrote it doesn't really know much about women.

"So what's the plan here? Your character is the killer, predictable, and I'm the helpless victim, sexist, and you're taunting me with a knife that I end up stabbing you with, wow how original." You sigh tossing the script on to the coffee table, turning to face Josh on the couch as he writes in his script. "It really does need some changes." He agrees as he continues his scribbling. "What are you writing?" "Some notes on dialogue, I'm thinking something that flows more naturally than, 'Oh no, you were the killer all along?' Something a little more exciting." Josh explains.

Josh moves closer to you on the couch, "So how am I supposed to move, I go from having you against the wall, to you pushing me to the ground?" Josh asks confused, "Well, you could choke me and I could pull a knife?" You suggest, Josh's eyes light up, "Do you know how to be stage choked?" He asks, "No? Do you?" You answer curiously.

The two of you end up rewriting most of the scene completely, a flirty back and forth where the killer doesn't reveal his plot but simply distracts the would be victim with seduction, "And then I stab you in the gut, telling the audience that I figured it out when you referred to the very first victim in the past tense when no one else knew that they were dead yet. It makes my character seem like less of the ditzy bimbo and more of the Nancy Drew type." You add. "What you don't wanna be a bimbo? I love bimbos." Josh smirks, "I bet you do. I have no problem playing anything, I just hate lazy writing." You justify.

"I took stage combat last semester."

"Of course you did."

"Hey, it was a good class, and obviously very helpful now."

You can feel yourself blushing, this is stupid, like where am I supposed to look? He's so close to me, do I look into his eyes? That's too intense, maybe his mouth, oh, his lips are pretty, no no that's weird, he's gonna get the wrong impression, I'll just look in his eyes, his stupid, big, brown eyes. It was not lost on you that Josh was cute, fuck, he's the cutest guy in the whole department, and him holding you like this and this close is not helping.

"Okay, whatever nerd, just show me." You sigh exasperated, moving closer to Josh. He brings his hand up to you, "Okay, so in stunt work, all of the responsibility of selling it is on the 'victim' in the scene, so you gotta make it look realistic." Josh explains as he gently places his hand on your throat adding zero pressure. "So you don't squeeze at all?" "Well, only a little bit, but just here, on the sides of your neck, not your actual windpipe." He says, his hand gently squeezing. "Oh yeah, that feels...fine." You say as you look him over.

"So what do I do?" You ask him softly, Josh's eyes search yours, "Uh, you can um, put your hands on my arm and my wrist, make it look like you're trying to push me away?" He suggests. You bring your hands up to his forearm, leaning back against the arm of the couch as you place your hands on his forearm and bicep, squeezing the muscle beneath for effect. Oh? That's nice, hm, a little muscle there, what a suprise, you think to yourself as your eyes look over his arm. His fingers give your throat a gentle squeeze, bringing you back to his eyes, "Does that feel okay?" Josh asks gently, his fingers applying just the smallest bit of pressure. You can feel your heartbeat slamming in your chest and your stomach doing a flip. "Y-Yeah, uh you can squeeze a little harder, if you want?" You say bringing your hand on top of his on your throat.

Josh's eyes look to your neck as he feels your hand, helping him tighten his grasp just a tad more. "I don't wanna hurt you." Josh whispers, his eyes looking into your eyes, "You aren't. It's, uh, nice." You say softly, his hold semi affecting your voice. "That's my line, 'I don't wanna hurt you', remember? I think you wrote it." Josh smiles shyly as he moves in a little closer. "Oh," you chuckle nervously. Fuck he's cute, "Maybe I am more of the ditzy bimbo type." You respond quietly, a subtle rasp to your voice. Josh smirks as he looks at your lips and back to your eyes, "I do love bimbos." He whispers as he brings his lips to yours, kissing you gently.

His kiss is soft, warm and gentle, he tastes sweet, like cinnamon, and his lips are softer than you thought they'd be. You kiss him back and soon your hands move to his shoulders, pulling him close to you. His hand lets go of your throat as he lays more against your front and between your legs, his hand in your hair.

His tongue enters your mouth and you can't help but moan into his open mouth, his fingers scratch gently at your scalp as he pulls your hair so he can kiss at your neck. You grind against him, wanting to bring him even closer still, "Fuck, Josh." You whisper as you pull at his shirt, slipping your hands to rest on the warm skin of his back underneath. "Do you want to take this to my bedroom?" Josh asks slyly, kissing and licking up your neck. "Yes, please." You whine, he pulls away, getting up and picking you up to take you into his room.

"I swear to God if there is a Pulp Fiction poster in there-"

"Let's just stay out here then."

[silentwalrus1]

Sometimes I wonder how much of Bad Roy Characterization is fandom osmosis from the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist anime, where Roy's ambitions were much more nebulous and his womanizing was 100% sincere. (There was no Madame Christmas or foster sisters and there was no reason given for his serial dating beyond the apparent)

I mean, if people are writing fic purely based on 03, it’s not correct to call the characterization “bad” if the roy that’s being written is true to the source material! Which creates an interesting kind of situation, since FMA does have minimum 3 major canons for people to take characterization from, which can cause some interesting medleys.

There’s also extra layers since at least two of the canons (manga and fmab) are such tight stories - we don’t really see much of Roy or his team unless it’s in moments that are plot relevant, for example, so you COULD present a convincing case for fmab or manga roy being an alcoholic via exploring what we DON’T see onscreen. Which is what fanfic is all about - interrogating what could be, or might have been, or what’s in the spaces outside the plot.

Additionally, having a character be a sincerely sleazy womanizing creep is not bad characterization - it can make for an excellent character, with lots of interesting tension to explore and motivations and actions that drive plot, or introspective exploration. Bad characterization is when a character’s motivations are nonsensical or contradictory within the framework of the story - for example, if the story tells us that Roy Mustang values human life above all else, he refuses to kill, he finds it morally abhorrent, and then has Roy Mustang casually murder somebody - well.

in the hands of a capable writer, this can make for excellent tension - what this man says is not what he does, the actions reveal his real character, the disparity is intentional. In the hands of a less practiced writer, the audience goes wait... huh? Why did he do that? This plot twist doesn’t make sense?

Characterization is what drives the choices characters make, the actions they take, the plots they become part of. And you don’t have to have a master’s lit degree to feel it when bad characterization is happening: take the mass reaction to the Game of Thrones ending, for example. Most people DIDN’T do deep meticulous analyses of why it was such a mess - they just went oh... that was... really unsatisfying... ok i guess.... that sucked lol...

To bring us back to FMA - a good writer can convince me of anything, i usually say, but with fanfiction, there’s an added dimension: we have, in canon, a sort of reference check that we can look at and analyze a character’s past actions to project their future ones. In the manga canon, Roy Mustang is a ruthless, wildly ambitious man striving, very violently, to rule his entire country; this means that when I read a fic that’s arguing that Roy is actually a smol uwu bean whose greatest dream is actually to be a housewife, it has a lot more work to do to convince me that I am in fact reading about Roy Mustang and not just some other random guy who happens to have the same name by total accident.

And if the author just wants to write a smol uwu bean story and use the roy mustang barbie to act it out, that’s perfectly fine - it’s just not going to be a story i think of when i go looking for fics about Roy Mustang.

[castielmacleod]

I used to feel like Crowley's unrequited love for Dean Winchester was out of character. It was definitely there because it was intentionally written that way. But I always feel like Crowley, unlike Castiel (who was programmed albeit against his will to be a soldier and a follower), would not tolerate being talked down to and dismissed the way Dean did. So I really disliked that part of the show.

But I see you seem to consider Crowley's unrequited love for Dean essential, and would love to hear more of your thoughts on it (of course you don't have to explain yourself, I am just genuinely interested).

Hello! Sure, I’d be happy to. As a bitter Crowleyguy who used to be VERY into Dr*wley I sure do have Thoughts about that whole mess

To start, I think you had an absolutely fair and correct assessment by the way. Crowley should NOT have taken any of that from literally just some guy in jeans. Crowley SHOULD have obliterated him, and if the writers had let him keep more of his early seasons fire and self-respect I know he would have. But I think the very fact that he had canonically kind of fallen to a point where he didn’t or even couldn’t push back as much as we might’ve expected him to is what is so horrifically compelling to me in the first place?

The thing is that I think Crowley being in unrequited love with Dean is abhorrent. It bothers the absolute bloody hell out of me. It represents a tragic an frequently degrading storyline for a canon mlm character. It seriously compromised him, contributed to his depression, and kept him fruitlessly at the Winchesters’ beck and call right up to his suicide, which they pretty much drove him to. Back in the day when I was more tolerant of fanon Dean I used to be a big requited Dr*wley guy because I thought bending Dean to my will and fabricating a version of events where he genuinely loved Crowley back was like, the least Crowley deserved, but I really had the wrong read of it because actually the least Crowley deserves is to be fucking free of Dean for good lol. So if I were to rewrite the series from scratch now I would not even START to go near any of this, or at least not in such a literally horrible and anticlimactic way. But as far as canon goes, I view Crowley’s unrequited love for Dean more or less the same as I view Cas’ unrequited love for Dean. It might be annoying and sad and so very rage inducing but I can’t bring myself to ignore it completely for a couple of reasons.

The first reason is that I tend to love characters who make me sad.. I’m not sure what it is. I’m not the kind of guy who like, ENJOYS it when my faves are miserable or anything. It’s quite the opposite. Crowley’s misery throws me into a searing fury just as easily as it depresses me. But I guess I’m a melancholy person and I just easily get attached to tragic characters who are sad for what I subjectively find to be sympathetic reasons. Gay demon whose one desire is to be truly loved ending up trapped in unrequited gay love is definitely that. The more sympathetic it is for me the more I tend toward exploring it in my writing, headcanons, etc. And I loved Crowley from the first moment I saw him given that he was funny and homosexual and a breath of fresh air but as soon as the show started making me SAD about him, like miserably sad from thee 8x23 into 10x01 onward, that’s when I REALLY latched on. So I actually get the most out of the character when I’m engaging directly with his awful depressive spiral and by extension the Dr*wley situation, in the sense that I’m either venting about it (cathartic) or writing something drawn from personal experience so as to explore the emotion behind it and/or let Crowley come terms with it and move on (also cathartic).

The second reason is that I do find Crowley’s infatuation with Dean very fascinating and revealing from a character analysis perspective, particularly in the way it extends the 8x23 Crowley thesis that he really does just want someone to love him. It says a lot about Crowley and just how desperately freaking lonely he actually is and it’s just. So much. Like post s8 it’s certainly a very different Crowley than the guy we met in s5, and I think there is a strong case to call him ooc in a LOT of ways (most of all the ways in which he was defanged and dumbed down like please 😭 the s12 Lucifer shit I mean GOD………………) but the way I personally understand how we got to his seemingly unconditional love for Dean circa s10 is that it was very much a result of the botched curing ritual. That event permanently rewired something in his head like for real. He never went back to normal after the human blood and whether that was shoddy writing or because it actually changed him to be more open and outwardly emotional, I don’t know, but I think the latter could be compelling. He tried to use Dean for his own purposes but then accidentally got attached to him and went on to spend SIX MONTHS. In trashy American dives, just to have Dean beside him. And as I’ve indicated my Dr*wley warrior days are so far behind me but I won’t be so disingenuous to say they didn’t genuinely connect on some level while Dean was a demon… they shared a room and called each other pet names and shared personal stories and had sex and like. Crowley was in love with him. He proposed to him, in total earnest. To me it’s like he truly projected this Hallmark romance over top of what was going on between them and I just find that so devastating, but also. Very humanising. If that makes sense.

In my assessment the Dr*wley break up only made Crowley’s loneliness worse because now he had a fresh memory of what he was missing AND had a specific face to miss, but to me it wasn’t…. actually about Dean himself. It wasn’t so much Dean as it was the concept of Having Someone that Crowley just could not move past. A friend, a boyfriend, a family member, just….. someone. I don’t even think the “summer of love” was about Dean himself like I genuinely think Dean could have been anyone. It’s not that there was anything special about him, it’s just that I think Crowley was in such an affected state in s9 (i.e. post-ritual) that I think he would have imprinted on anyone he spent enough time with, and that just ended up being Dean. And that break up leads directly into Crowley letting Rowena into his court and trying so sincerely with Amara in a familial sense, and then trying to reconnect with Cas in at LEAST a friendship sense. He continued to help the Winchesters, paying special attention to Dean. But all of these people (with perhaps Cas as the barest exception) outright rejected him in some way, sometimes over and over no matter what he did for them, and it drove him suicidal…. that’s another post entirely. But my point is that Dr*wley is a watershed in Crowley’s post-8x23 “arc” (too strong a word for the amount of non-writing that was happening with this character but you know what I mean) that sets the stage for understanding his frame of mind in his last 3 seasons. It’s the first in a long series of rejections that will eventually lead to Crowley killing himself. And trust me I fully recognise how demeaning and terrible this all is for the character and how pathetic the writers made him and it IS infuriating but at the same time the sheer brutal tragedy of it is just. Man. I really can’t get over it.

Anyway, I’ll reiterate that this is all my personal interpretation, I don’t really have citations or receipts on hand, it’s just how this particular canon arc of Crowley’s has settled into my head in a way that makes sense to me. Essentially everything in the paragraphs above can be boiled down to the following: I can’t help but acknowledge Dr*wley and consider it essential to examinations of canon Crowley at least because I think it’s critical to understanding so much of his character motivation from s10 on, and also because I just find it so cathartic to rant about or to let Crowley recover from it in my own writing. That’s kind of that!

If I haven’t already bored you to tears then I also have some recent semi-related thoughts on 12x23 and Crowley in a post-8x23 landscape in general that you might be further interested in here.

[mrs-bartowski]

My dudes. My guys. My pals.

I’m about 10 seconds away from going feral.

So, I’m the kind of unfortunate chump whose brain requires continuity. Meaning, when I started thirst watching Supergirl during its mid-season-2 hiatus and came across the realization that it had crossovers with all the other arrowverse shows, my brain tasked me with watching them all. I won’t put you through a recount of this arduous feat, but it does leave me with the certain advantage of having immediate and full-contextual access to any parallels between supercorp and canon CW DCEU couples.

Normally, this is a good thing, because it’s just another crumb to obsess over. But I just finished watching Legends 6x02 and...I. AM. FUMING.

I literally don’t even know where to start, but know that if you’ve made it this far you’re in for a long ride because my entire being is in Scream mode right now and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop typing until it passes.

OKAY. So.

Meet Sara Lance (lol jk y’all thirsty gays know who she is I mean look at this flawless human)

Next, meet her ******* Ava Sharpe (who is literally the definition of white European beauty standards-based perfection because she’s a clone from the future)

And finally, meet Gary Green. He’s...well, he’s Gary.

Sara started out on Arrow and is now the captain of the Legends. Ava was the director of the Time Bureau and Gary was an agent, and now they are also members of the Legends. Sara has been there (and been the show’s effective lead) since season 1. Ava and Gary both came in at the beginning of season 3. 

Gary is (as pictured) an absolute fool, but he is also kind of regarded as the one the Legends Must Protecc. The whole team is considered a family, and, while they are not necessarily labeled as best friends, Gary has been Ava’s longest and most loyal companion, and Sara has a way of adopting him because she’s the best equipped to keep him out of trouble.

So, why is all of this relevant to why I want to go feral? Because it sounds a bit familiar, yes? Member of the team that is somewhat a black sheep, doesn’t get included fully or all the time but often comes in with save-the day type shit (even though with Gary it’s more of a distraction than a save because he’s a mess of a man). Close friend to one of our two main heroes and, subsequently, that hero’s closest companion puts them at the top of their Protecc list. Has little faith in his relationships with the team so he is constantly going out of his way to help in whatever way he can to prove his usefulness. And so on and so forth.

Well, 6x01 marks exactly 3 years since Gary’s first appearance, and what did we find out in that episode? That Gary is an alien. And not just any alien - an alien who was sent (by the woman he was traded to) to get close to Sara because she has been labeled as one of the world’s most dangerous creatures. Not to mention, his species of alien feeds on humans (not him of course, he’s reformed, but nonetheless not a friendly species). And we find out all of this because he and his master abduct her.

Sara finds out in person while Ava and the rest of the Legends solve the mystery on their own. Now, I’ve drawn a lot of comparisons between Lena and Gary to make a point about the time frame and nature of their relationships, but let’s take a look at Sara, shall we? For starters, she’s been “dead” either literally or supposedly about...what, 15 times now? If you think that’s an exaggeration, here’s the link to her fan wiki which says she’s been presumed dead 10 times and actually dead 5. The sg writers tried to sell season 5 as “the fight for Lena’s soul” but Sara LITERALLY LOST HER SOUL when she got resurrected in the Lazarus pit. 90% of Sara’s character development has been based on her certainty that she is too close to death and evil and destruction (getting possessed by a demon, perhaps, had something to do with this?). She was an actual literal assassin and she has left civilization out of anger and pain to go back to that life once before.

She has always believed that she is too dangerous to have real love or relationships or friends. And now she has found and built and led this family through time and space and she’s done so with this goofball by her side that is endearingly attached to the love of her life. So, how does she react when she finds out Gary is an alien? Well, clearly, she goes down a dark path, right? She cries and screams and talks about betrayal because she’s had such a hard time with feeling like she only ever puts the people she loves in danger and now here she is finding out there’s been a human-eating alien in her family for three years that was tasked with observing her and keeping her in check because she is exactly that dangerous?

Yeah...try again. This is how Sara reacts:

And then there's another scene that apparently no one even bothered to put on YouTube where you can see the pain in Sara's eyes when she asks him “why me?” You can see how hurt she is that after 3 years she’s just finding out that their friendships is based on lies and that she has trouble keeping her faith in it. But in both of these instances where are the “crocodile tears?” Where are the fearful, shaky confessions from Gary about his fear of losing the only people who have ever really loved or cared about him and desperate justifications about how he just wanted to protect them and keep them in the dark so his master didn’t come after them? Where is the outrage from Sara about how everything Gary has reassured her about over the past three years when she was scared to let the damaged-soul assassin inside of her out was a lie and he doesn’t get to tell her who or what she is again? Where is the determination from Ava to make Gary pay for not only lying for three years but for ABDUCTING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE TO HAND OVER TO A FLESH-EATING ALIEN??????

Nowhere. Those things...they’re nowhere. There’s anger. There’s pain. There’s doubt and heartbreak and fury. There’s betrayal and helplessness and desperation. But there is no scene with Sara standing on a balcony and Gary looking up at her longingly because he wants to talk to her about the secret and he knows it will change everything between them. There is no scene with Sara and Ava lamenting over what this means for Gary and the team and the world because he’s no longer the person they knew. There are no romantically-scored scenes of them looking teary-eyed at the pictures they took together or reassurances that the others’ intentions are good and trustworthy now that the truth is out in the open. There is nothing to imply that the last several years of friendship are now entirely suspect (damaged, frayed, clouded, maybe, but definitely not voided) because Gary kept this secret to protect them. And Gary isn’t made to feel obscenely guilty or shameful because his intentions were good and he only did what he felt he had to. But most of all, the world doesn’t feel like it’s going to end.

And I’m not talking about we’re now scared Gary will take his master’s side or Sara will suddenly decide that she never wants an alien to fool her or hurt her again so she’s going to make sure he doesn’t have the choice. I’m just talking about the way they address each other. There are no sobbing tears or laments over the biggest mistakes of their lives - even though it’s quite possible Gary could see this as his. There are no screaming matches over betrayal and mistrust and years of doubt and confusion. There will be no episode dedicated to going back and seeing what could have happened - what kind of danger they could have avoided from the alien(s) controlling Gary - had he told them the truth sooner because that’s the only way to save him and the world. There will be no episode where he has to single-handedly save them multiple times as some example of redemption. There will be no adamant looks and declarations about how the team knows his intentions were good and they forgive him. There won’t be any of that. Because Sara is not in love with Gary. And Ava is not in love with Gary. And Gary is not in love with either Sara or Ava. They’re just close friends. Family. Loved ones who mean a lot to each other but whose betrayal and seeds of doubt don’t bring on emotions whose force and ferocity could be acceptable for finding out the apocalypse is nigh.

I have many, many more feelings about this but right now I’m going to go write things that will make me feel better and not things that make me want to gather every writer from every CW show in a line and run down the line smacking them all in the face while the Legends writers watch and cheer. But I’m fuming. THIS is what it looks like when a years-long, heavily weighted lie is revealed between close friends/family. So, in conclusion, Supercorp endgame or die.