#and just in case you were wondering no is not connected to ATBP I just borrowed some little details from it XD

[paddie-ut]

A Gaster Blaster’s Understanding of Love

AO3 Link

Summary:  GB loves his master and wants him to be happy. GB sees that a certain tall, furry goat monster makes his master happy and can feel it through the connection he has to his master’s soul. GB decides to take matters into his own jaws, despite not really understanding this new sort of love his master is feeling. 

(Written for the Soriel Discord’s Valentines Day Event. A retrospective of Sans’ and Toriel’s relationship through the eyes of the skeleton’s loyal weapon, and said weapon’s attempts to understand it.)

Relationships: Sans/Toriel with a little bit of Undyne and Alphys mentioned. 

Genre: Mostly Humor with a touch of Angst too

Fic Type: One Shot, Gaster Blaster POV, First Person

Rating: General (light mentions of death/the Geno run) 

Also, check Topaz’s equally adorable take on the same concept!: Tumblr AO3

Love is in a strange thing to me. At least, the kind of love that has been on my mind lately. It is not a thing that my kind get to experience for ourselves. At least, I don’t think so, there are not many of us to compare in any case… But I know about the love of friendship and the love of family. I know because I feel it through my connection to my Master’s soul, every time he experiences it. That love is simple to understand, and is good and happy. I know about the bad kind of love too, though. The LOVE that is not really love, but the opposite. The LOVE that… hurts my master. Even that is more understandable to me though, than what I experience through Master’s soul whenever he is around a certain nice lady named Tori.

But oh, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ve learned from my master that introductions are important. My name is GB, it is short for “Gaster Blaster.” Because that is what I am, a Gaster Blaster. Master says he is lazy with names and that is why my name is simple. But I think it is really because he named me when we were both only babybones. I am… a weapon. Well, Master usually calls me a “buddy” or a “pal” but I am still a weapon too. A weapon he can call upon whenever he has need of me. It is my job to protect my Master, and use my powerful laser attack to defeat those who would cause him harm. It is a really important job, because even though Master is wonderful and great, he is also very weak. I’ve seen other monsters get hit with lots of attacks and be fine… but if Master even gets hit with one attack, like what happened with that human…

……

Sorry, I don’t like to think about that day. Or… any of those days. You see, Master may seem funny and happy, and he can be really good at being both sometimes! But most of the time… he’s actually not very happy at all. Because of the bad times with the human… Because of the other bad times with the Flower. Because of the way everyone forgets the bad times except me and Master. Because of the one who made me, who I am named for… I know my Master is hurting because I am attuned to his soul. I feel what Master feels, even when I am not summoned out from my pocket dimension. I am always with my Master, feeling what he does. And I hardly ever feel happy.

That is why I was taken aback, when Master began telling jokes with a mysterious lady behind a door. I felt a… new sort of love develop within Master. It started out feeling the same way that me and Master love his friends, like Grillby and Alphys, and I was happy for Master for making a new friend! That is very rare for him, because of the bad times. But then as time went on, the love he felt for this… “door lady.” It kept on changing, into something neither of us had felt before. A new kind of love. It still wasn’t that different from the friend kind of love yet, just a little more… exciting? secretive? Sorry if that’s vague but, understanding these kinds of things does not come easy to me.

But I did understand one thing clearly, this door lady made my Master happy. And it was the real kind of happy, not the kind he and I both fake for each other and the other people he loves. I was glad for Master that this door lady made him happy in this new way, but also confused. Me and Master love Papyrus more than anything, and that is the family love, the strongest love. But even though master never even saw the door lady, only heard her voice, that love he felt for her grew. It grew until it was stronger than the friend love, and grew more until she had somehow reached second place in Master’s soul… In a manner of speaking. It was puzzling to me, because until now, Master only loved those he could see. Now he loved someone who was just a voice, someone who wouldn’t even share her name.

Don’t get me wrong! I loved the door lady. Of course I did, I loved her just as my Master loved her. She was very funny and nice, and always good at making Master laugh. And they were real laughs, just like the real kind of happy. If I could have met the door lady while out at Master’s side, I would have given her a lot of nuzzles to say thank you! But all that didn’t mean I wasn’t still confused when Master did so much because of the door lady’s influence. He bought pasta shaped like snails, because she liked to eat snails. He started a sock collection just like the one she talked about having. He spent hours thinking of new puns to tell her. He even tried baking a pie like the ones she mentioned baking a lot! It turned out kind of lumpy and burnt, but she was still so happy when he told her about it.

My Master doesn’t usually do things like that. He is usually very demotivated and would rather sleep or slack off than do anything else. Papyrus says my Master is lazy, and maybe it’s a little true. But I know that the reason my Master doesn’t like to do things is because of the bad times making him feel… bad, even when things are not so bad. But not even the bad times stopped Master from going to see the door lady. Even when she forgot him, he would go back and start over again. That is usually one of the things that makes Master feel worst of all. I could feel that did hurt him like usual, but he still did it every time! That is what really got to me most of all. The door lady… was really important to master. He loved her with something stronger than friend love, and almost as strong as family love. A new love. It made me sad for Master, that he might never get to meet the door lady or learn her name.

But things changed after a while, because during one of the bad times, Papyrus was killed by the human. Master was… alone and not even I could hope to comfort him. He and I didn’t feel anything, not even sad really. Somehow… that feeling always feels worse than being sad though. It feels like the feeling we experience before… we both turn to dust. The only good thing about that bad time, was that we learned who the door lady was, and it was shocking! The door lady was the Queen! I am not great at remembering the story exactly, but she was the queen who used to rule with the king that my master likes to call fluffybuns. But something really bad happened, and she left to live alone behind the door. Master wasn’t as shocked as I thought he’d be to find out who the door lady was. Maybe because he was still feeling that bad empty feeling too much to care.

But even though it wasn’t the happy meeting I wanted it to be for Master, it was still a good moment when the two met for the first time. She is a tall monster covered in white fur with long ears and horns on her head. Kind of like a smaller version of the king with no golden mane. She has pretty red eyes too, at least that is what master has said to himself when he thinks no one is listening. Master learned her name was Toriel, but he always calls her Tori. She did something shocking during that meeting, she let Master stay in the place behind the door with her. They were both hurting during that bad time, but they were able to help each other. Sometimes that meant they helped each other feel the real kind of happy, but they also helped each other feel the real kind of sad too. Master’s love for her grew a lot during that bad time, and even though he wanted it to end so Papyrus would come back, it still hurt him when the time finally came. I was sad too. I missed her just as Master did.

I was still confused by it though, it was just so different from any other kind of love Master had experienced! But I was no longer skeptical after that. I wanted Master and Tori to be able to see each other again, to make them both happy, and to learn more about this new kind of love! And even though the next few bad times that came did not involve Master getting to meet Tori, not so long ago, there was finally a… well… a good time? I guess that is the best way to put it. The human finally was nice to Master and everyone else, and everyone got to go free. The surface is wonderful! I remember when Master first sent me out to enjoy the sunlight. I could have darted around through the warm, fresh, open air forever! I even fired a celebratory blast into the sky, but then Master scolded me. Don’t tell him I said this… but I still thought it was fun.

Anyway, the sun and beautiful sky aren’t the only great things that came with being freed. Master also got to meet Tori again! And it was better this time, because they weren’t as sad as before. Now she, Papyrus, Master, the human and the flower all live together in a cozy house up here. It is very different from Master’s old house, or the place where Tori used to live, but still very nice. Master and Tori spend a lot of time together now, and can do much more than just talk through a door. I even got to come out and meet Tori myself many times!

During our first meeting, I immediately darted over and gave her lots of nuzzles to say thank you for making Master happy. Also because that is what Master wanted to do, to show her that kind of affection, but didn’t for some reason. He doesn’t do a lot of things he wants to do. Oddly, he scolded me again for cuddling up to Tori, feeling very embarrassed. I don’t know why exactly, after all Tori was happy to pet me and compliment me for being so friendly. I think it has something to do with this new kind of love he feels for her. It makes Master act strangely in a lot of different ways.

But being with Tori and the others on the surface has made Master much happier now, even though he still hurts a lot over the bad times, and is scared they will come back. The human is friendly now, but me and Master are still afraid of them. One time they tried to pet me, and I growled at them, because I remembered how they had… hurt Master. Master scolded me again for this, but he is scared of the human too, so I don’t know why. I guess he wants to try and make friends with them now, so they won’t hurt everyone again. Same with the flower, but he is not as scary anymore. He cannot make the bad times come back like the human can.

Since things have been going well so far though, I decided recently to come up with a plan. I want Master to feel the real kind of happy again, as much as he can… And this new love he feels for Tori, it brings out that side of him on a consistent basis. I may not have always been able to protect Master… But I think I have a plan on how I can help him be happier.

You see, I heard something interesting during my last time out and about, when Alphys and Undyne were visiting. They mentioned that a human holiday about love was coming up soon. I know about holidays, like Gyftmas and the one when Master helped Papyrus make his favorite outfit. But this holiday was about love, and it made me think more and more about the special new love Master felt for Tori. So I decided to learn more, and followed the lizard and fish monster around for a bit after that. I am not the best hider, but I managed to keep hidden behind the couch long enough to hear the rest of their conversation, and then witness something… interesting.

The two talked about how “couples” are supposed to do things together on that day, and give each other presents. Then they leaned close and… kissed. I had seen kissing before, mostly from the two dog guards back in Snowdin, but I never gave it much thought. I thought it was just a dog thing. But seeing Undyne and Alphys kiss made me realize the truth. Kissing was something that those who were in love did. The kind of love the dog guards and the fish and lizard monster had for each other. The kind of love Master had for Tori! It made more sense, even though I still didn’t really understand it, but I saw how happy Undyne and Alphys were after they kissed. It was the real kind of happy. The really real kind of happy! That is what I want for my Master.

So on this love holiday, I am to enact my plan. I will get Master and Tori to do the kiss. That will make them both happy! And then they can be a “couple” just like Undyne and Alphys and the dogs! Even if I still don’t totally understand this mysterious new type of love, I will do this for my Master. Because he deserves to be happy, even if he doesn’t think so most of the time.

The first step of the plan is to get them together, which isn’t too hard, since they like to be together a lot. They are together right now in fact, chatting outside while Tori is collecting snails off of a tree. Probaby to eat later… The next step is to get Master to let me out of the pocket dimension. This is also rather easy, as I can will up the magic to summon myself if need be, Master must simply allow it. He does, even if he sends me a confused look for it. I float there and pretend to simply want to fly around for a bit. He still eyes me with an air of confusion but shrugs after a moment, just telling me not to wander too far before turning back to talk with Tori. I giggle to myself for my cleverness, but not out loud though. Secretly.

From there I must simply wait for the ideal moment. I circle around the two slowly, pretending to be casually enjoying the sunshine and looking away when one of them gives me a suspicious glance. It takes a while for the moment to come, and I grumble softly in impatience, but only once. Master told me patience was important after all, especially during the bad times. So it must be important in the good times too. Finally, after what feels like forever, Tori kneels down in the grass in front of Master to show him a very big snail she’s found. This is what I have been waiting for!

You see, Master is very small, and could not properly perform the kiss on Tori if she was standing at her full height. But like this, they are far closer to the same level and I can make up for the difference easily. So, using all my practiced speed and agility, I dart down behind Master in an instant and take hold of his hood in my jaws. Then, before he can do anything else, I gently pull him up and over the short necessary distance to press his face against Tori’s face, just like I saw Undyne and Alphys do! And it works perfectly! Master does not have the right kind of mouth to do the exact same thing as the other “couples” I’ve seen, but his mouth is touching hers and it looks good enough to me.

Both of them react in intense surprise, going totally stiff. This makes me confused, that isn’t the same reaction that I saw with the other kissing. They both have colorful faces now though, so that’s a good sign. Master’s face often turns blue like that when he’s around Tori, and now its bluer than ever! I purr as I hold Master there and wait to feel that wonderful new kind of love from his soul, and the real kind of happiness. But instead, right then, I only feel a little of that love, and it is mostly buried under embarrassment and shock. I suddenly feel myself being wrenched back and I drop Master out of my jaws in surprise. I realize he has taken hold of me with his magic. He isn’t looking at me, instead holding me still with one hand while franticly apologizing to Tori, sweating a lot and still very blue faced. But apologizing is only something you do when you do something bad…

Have I… made Master do something bad? Tori does not look mad, maybe surprised and even… amused? But not mad… Why was Master apologizing then? Suddenly he turns to me, and even though he’s still embarrassed, he has that look in his eye, the look that means I’m in trouble… and I feel a spark of anger from him. All my excitement for my plan disappears and I just feel bad and embarrassed like Master. In a moment of panic, I use all my strength to tear myself away from his magic and dart for the house. I don’t want to face the harsh scolding, especially if what I did was enough to make Master this embarrassed. Master will be even more disappointed in me for running away, but I can’t help it. I just feel too bad to stay.

The door is still open, so I fly into the house and duck behind the couch, shivering shamefully. I can still feel Master’s embarrassment, even though the distance I put between us has lessened our connection. I lay there and whine softly, even though I am not supposed to do that now that I am not a babybones. I know Master will come after me and be angry, and now that I am alone I fully realize the potential cost of my actions. I hate it when Master is upset with me… I hate when I make Master upset instead of happy. It is very rare that I do, but it hurts every time. Master has enough to be sad and hurt about, I hate being the cause of anything more. If I was more honorable I would return to Master and take my scolding like a proper blaster. But I feel too bad to do anything, so I just stay where I am and shiver.

Master and Tori do not come back in for a long time, and I stay hidden behind the couch. I begin to wonder if I have messed up really bad, like when I accidentally flew through the window to get inside our new house instead of waiting by the door like I am supposed to. They stay out so long that the sun goes down, and i can feel the magic used to summon me waning. Soon I will be stuck back in the pocket dimension, and maybe Master will be so angry at me once the embarrassment goes away that he will not allow me out ever again. I whine sadly at that thought, feeling as though I had failed my Master yet again.

But then I notice something, in the weakened connection I still have to Master’s soul, I do not feel much of that embarrassment anymore. It’s still there, but faint, and instead, that new love is there again and a touch of happiness. I float up off the floor a bit, caught up in the idea that maybe my plan hadn’t totally failed after all. As I do though, I feel all those feelings grow stronger and stronger, until suddenly I hear the sound of footsteps approaching from outside. I yelp and retreat back further by instinct, listening with renewed shivering as Master and Tori enter and shut the door behind them.

Apparently my hiding skills were not as good as I thought, because Master called me out in no time at all.

“i know you’re back there gb.” He says, in a surprisingly not angry voice. “come on out.”

I let out a whine of defeat, but accept my fate and drift over the couch to settle on the cushions in front of Master. Even though he looks and feels not angry, I still feel as though he will scold me and avert my gaze with shame. But Master is suddenly petting my muzzle, and I feel him restore my magic levels again. Blinking, I look up at him in surprise.

“it’s okay buddy.” Master says to me, grinning weakly. “i think… i get what you were trying to do.”

I perk up at that, tilting my head with curiosity. Only then do I notice Tori at Master’s side, and how close they are standing to each other. It makes me wonder what happened between them after I left. They don’t look that embarrassed anymore, in fact, they both look happy, as Master soul tells me so. Maybe… I didn’t mess up as badly as I thought?

“I suppose we should thank him in a way though, should we not?” Tori says, smiling at Master.

He looks at her with an expression I don’t quite understand, but I feel another spark of that new love from his soul. So I think it is a good expression, even if his face turns a little blue again before looking back at me.

“yah… thanks gb. but don’t ever do anything like that again, got it?”

I nod quickly, enough to shake the couch a little. I am still confused on whether I did a good or bad thing. Maybe it was a little of both… But that is also confusing. Nonetheless, I am just happy not to be scolded and I will be sure to keep Master’s words in mind for the future. Tori giggles a bit for some reason, maybe at the way I shook the couch… Then she leans down to give me a pet as well.

“Thank you, my friend” Tori says to me in her soft, nice voice. “Your actions were not ideal, but they were the kiss-centive we both needed to finally figure things out between us.”

Her words confuse me a bit, especially that one weird word. I guess that it was probably one of those “puns” Master and her love so much. But I understand that she’s happy and praising me, so I rumble with a deep purr.

Then Master and Tori sit on either side of me, easier since I shrank a little in size from the earlier lack of magic. Then they lay their hands over top of my muzzle. As I watch, they move their hands over to each other and interlock their fingers, Master’s small, bony fingers fitting snugly between Tori’s big furry ones. I recognize the action! It is not a kiss… but it still something I have seen “couples” do. And in that moment, I feel that new love from Master more than ever before, warming us both to our cores. With it comes a rush of that real happiness, just as wonderful to feel from him as I had hoped for. I purr louder, eye sockets narrowing a bit in contentment, and they both respond with quiet laughter.

I may not fully understand this new kind of love Master feels for Tori. But with the happiness that I can feel mixing with it within Master’s soul, I know it’s definitely something I can get used to. I have helped make my Master happy, not to mention Tori as well! And that is more than enough for me.