#and its weird cuz i have too and overall out of all my OCS i think he has the most of my nature in him

[littledigits]

my eyebrow druid is the most cute 

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Out of curiosity may I ask for your thoughts on hazbin hotel? I’m not the biggest fan of it. I do like nifty and sir pentious though.

Also I enjoy your murder drones art. I love the way you draw uzi :)

Ehhh, the relationship with me and how i feel about about HH is a long one, considering ive been following viv since her deviantart days lol. well i wasn't ever that much of a fan, mostly cuz ive never been too into that stretchy cartoonish artstyle she used to use for her comic "Zoophobia" buuuuut i had to hand it to her- she def managed to accomplish something a lot of us wish we could do with our world buildings huh? so ill give her that much lmao. but I'm gonna say that i haven't watched the show YET.

tho as far as controversies surrounding her uh... religion imagery goes- even as someone whos been brought up as a religious muslim- i don't really care tbh. you need to have a certain level of capacity for satire like this and if you don't, its really not for you //shrug. mostly to say you need to really know your own rights and wrongs to not be affected by a cartoon made by people who have their own beliefs yknow?

but as far as the story has gone so far in Helluva boss im not really.... ANYWAY- its fiction, and i don't have to like EVERY aspect of it, i don't think the writing is GREAT i don't think its AWFUL- currently I'm in a very big MEH area towards it lmao-

but i can say for certain that i absolutely LOVE the songs and adore them- especially thankful of having found one of my favorite artists eVER through HH- "SILVA HOUND"- there is almost no work that he has put up that i don't go crazy over- when the beat drops i feel my soul ascend yall don't understand 😭 <33333333

and well finally the art i guess? i like it, not bad, kinda tired seeing so many people trying to imitate it to a tee- i agree that imitation is the highest form of flattery lmao but it gets old when everyone's trying to be similar yknow? but character-design-wise, again, i feel like the character designs are amazing? but.... misplaced i guess.... we all know that these characters are vivzies old ocs, but lore wise- none of the characters look like what they are supposed to be... like we all know the issue with Beelzebub, sigh, that was weird for my eyes to behold as someone who remembers queen bee from zoophobia- and im not even sure if Vaggie is a moth anymore considering her uh... new backstory??? was she even a human at some point anymore? is Adam a human? are half of the heaven population wearing masks? why do they look like characters from monsters inc. that got a yassified by James Charles?? im... so confused lmao. why do angels have horns and hell sinners have wings?? looking at husker- skipping the Alastor controversies- yada yada yada- is Charlie supposed to be a goat when neither of her parents are- yeah okay im tired never mind.

short version: its interesting on the eyes, confusing to the brain XD

overall my final comment is: its fun as long as you don't take it religiously serious ;p

and thank you so muchhh :D

[silvergoldraeven]

Okokokok so (assuming) you’re an avid heimes shipper, I’m rlly curious, so like, how do you think (in your resurrection au) kratos would feel if Hermes came back to life out of nowhere and started dating Heimdall??? LMAOO

OR EVEN, WOULD, your au Heimdall even ever be into Hermes at all????? Due to his redemption and all??? KSJDKDJ I can’t stop thinking abt it😭

oh ive thought about this A LOT. like an ungodly amount. i actually at first made a character for Heimdall as a love interest but scrapped it cuz i didnt want it to be a Heimdall x oc thing ya know. then my dear friend (@medievildead) got me Hermespilled- and now i have. better ideas. they wouldnt work with what im actually going for with res!AU cuz itd add sooooo many things and its just. ough. but!

There's so many ways this could go. So Many. (x0k if youre reading this im encouraging you to make a version with your Hermes AU c:)

But i'd like to imagine that Atreus one day just comes home wearing the like ancient Greek travelling outfit and Kratos looks him up and down, goes silent for a few minutes before asking where the fuck and who the fuck he got that from. Atreus just happily going "from this really nice man, had flaming hair, weird little voice but he was cool and- oh there he is-" and just points over to Hermes crawling out of the bushes and yelling "where are my fucking shoes Kratos?!"

i think thats funny, i think that should be canon. Hermes existing and following Atreus home to Midgard opens up so much place for angst with Kratos and Atreus but im not here for that, im here to make 2 people worse. mostly Heimdall, reverse therapy now that Hermes is here /hj

Hermes joining the gang is just like like the Thor scene but Loud and hes like "i brought olives :]" and Kratos lets him in just for that trade tbh.

Kratos asking how tf hes even alive and Hermes replies with "im bugs" without elaborating, we never find out how he's alive.

Uncle Hermes is definitely my fav trope so him bonding with Atreus over atheletics and mischief, mostly bullying Heimdall. Hermes locked eyes with Heimdall and immediately decided that he was a worthy opponent. so their relationship starts with Hermes and Atreus bullying the shit out of Heimdall, who's self growth is really being tested on a daily basis. when Atreus leaves again Heimdall is left with just 1 shithead insisting on making his life harder (but oh so affectionately).

i think Heimdall would actually be more likely to fall for Hermes cuz he finally got that giant stick out of his ass, would probably find his japes and overall mischief endearing, after he warms up to the Greek god.

Hermes is canonically really good at cooking too if im correct so him helping Heimdall with cooking,,, cute. so cute. Hermes teaches Heimdall Greek dishes and Heimdall teaches him Nordic dishes but Hermes usually just goes "this has no flavour" which in return makes Heimdall call him a slur of some kind in offense.

Heimdall showing off Gulltoppr being like "this is my great and loyal beast, he has never left my side for anyone, neither in life or death. he will never be loyal to anyone els-" camera turns to Hermes giving a purring Gully tummy rubs :3

unrelated (sorta) but i think Angrboda and Hermes would actually get along really well.

Hermes being the god of travel drags Heimdall around the 8 realms c o n s t a n t l y. Heimdall hates it, especially since Vanaheim would probably be Hermes' fav realm. but he usually plans a 'surprise' picnic so Heimdall isn't too upset about it :3

Hermes constantly throwing apples at Heimdall. infront of everyone. its funny. most people dont get why Heimdall turns completely red every single time.

if Kratos still has Hermes' boots like he did in the gow 2018 trailer and actually gives them back, Hermes would probs lend them to Atreus occasionally for travelling like the good uncle he is. or as i like to say, buncle. Atreus' bug uncle c:

Hermes would definitely flirt with Heimdall constantly before they start dating just to annoy the living shit out of him which Atreus would find extremely entertaining but once these 2 fuckers start dating they turn their attention back to bullying Atreus. rip my man

Heimdall giving his bf bifrost legs. Hermes deserves bifrost legs. he'd look So Gay. not sure how that'd work but its canon now.

overall i just have many unhinged (normal) thoughts about these 2, too many to put into words but this hopefully gets the point across c:

[lycanstonebutch]

for the questions!! 16, 17, 58, 68!!

HIHIHI CATBOY NICE TO SEE U AROUND THESE PARTS OF THE FOREST.

15. Do you have any of your own nudes on your phone right now? Yes i do,,, I have both some of mine and some of Sapphe's since we share a phone. AHAH ( I realized you asked me 16 17 but i already answered... so free bonus answer )

16. Do you have anyone else’s nudes on your phone right now? I feel like i try to avoid saving ppl's nudes bcuz it makes me feel creepy, i think ive never saved anyones nudes for any horny reasons ive only ever saved nudes art art references or to reference an OC? And i try to delete them afterwards AHAH

17. Do you have anyone from Tumblr’s nudes on your phone right now? FOR THE SAME REASONS AS ABOVE YES AND NO... I think i get way too scared of being creepy and if im ever like.... rlly rlly gay abt a picture i'll just go back to the post my mutual made and look at it again,,, but tbh i rarely interact with pictures overall bcuz even if im encouraged or told its fine im always more scared of being creepy. IDK!!! I mean smtimes im worried about interacting with ur pics cuz im like. Hope he doesn't think im being WEIRD and EVIL and FUCEKD up rn. 58. Do you have any recurring fantasies you keep coming back to? Do you think they’ll ever happen? Oh like a lot, I think one of my favourite is really like.... flustering someone until they get really dizzy and buzzy in the head and they're like so horny they start getting all 🥺 Another one is. Breeding..... the idea of bending someone over particularly grabbing their hips and fucking into them and feeling the way they feel around me, the way they feel around my knot, and seeing how good they feel once I cum inside them bcuz they want me to.. Hot. And a third one would be consensually intoxicating someone as a planned lil thing, but specifically in the context of petplay. I like the idea of using it as treats until they get so high and buzzy they're all confused and needy and I can just guide them further into the scene. I'd wanna know what their usual limit is though beforehand, lots of talking would have to go into it but theres just smth so hot abt both knowing you're getting the other completely blissed and high out their mind and soon they'll be a buzzy dumb needy lil thing behaving like its in heat bcuz all they can think about are the thoughts I'm putting into their head and that is 'You're a poor thing in heat and im here to help' SORRY FOR THE LONG ANSWER... 68. Admit something sexual that you’ve never told anyone else before. Mmmmm Im pretty open about my fantasies or sexual stuff so i can't think of anything i haven't told at least ONE person before.... maybe mmm, im kinda into sheathplay? Like. There is smth hot abt the sheath part of having a werewolf cock. I also just think overall the gender euphoria of fur is amazing and there's this one scene in beastars, the scene where Haru misunderstands the context and starts undressing Legoshi- okay she puts her hand on his stomach and softly compliments his fur and says she wants to see if its the same color below. That scene killed me, like in many ways ITS SO EMBARASSING TO ADMIT. BUT LIKE IT GAVE ME?? SM GENDER ENVY?? THAT I ALMOST STARTED CRYING?? BUT ALSO THEN I GOT SO HORNY IMAGINING SOMEONE SAYING AND DOING THAT TO ME. OKAY THERE. I DONT THINK IVE TOLD ANYONE THAT BEFORE>

[sleepysheepytea]

I saw your day 19 and day 31 posts for tktober, you said that day 19 was a part of Zetsubo’s lore, do you mind telling me more about them (they’re so cute I wanna hug them)

OO YAY AN EXCUSE TO YELL ABOUT OCS OKIE

gonna put a warning for potentially disturbing topics? things like captivity/physical torment/and manipulation ig (also some talks of the afterlife idk if some are weirded out by that)

OKIE so to properly describe his story i'd have to bring up two other characters: those being the two other demons in both of those drawings. (also i showed them in day 4's drawing)

soo Tirana and Akuma were inseparable friends when they were alive. Akuma didn't have any other friends so she wasn't sure what normal friendships were like so she didn't catch any red flags

over time, Tirana grew very attracted to Akuma, and not in a good way. she discovered herself to be a raging sadist and she really wanted to hurt Akuma and keep her to herself - obv she didn't want to hurt her too bad cuz she still loved her but she rly couldn't hold off her desires for too long

once they both died and unfortunately ended up in hell, Tirana figured she might as well unleash all of her desires and chased Akuma down for quite a while. eventually, Akuma ran right into Zetsubo, who was pretty much just minding his business. She ran right past him and managed to escape Tirana's sight. Tirana then caught sight of Zetsubo, who was about the same size and overall look of Akuma. because he's not very strong, he couldn't really fight Tirana off, who's immensely strong. Tirana took him instead as a sort of placeholder for the time being until she could find Akuma

sooo to put things mildy, Tirana pretty much kept Zetsubo in a cave chained up for years on end. every day, Tirana would leave in search of Akuma (sometimes she'd leave for longer or shorter, it was pretty sporadic), then she would return and expel her frustration onto Zetsubo, pretty much doing everything she wanted to do to Akuma to him (this included a bunch of stuff tho she does desperately want to wreck Akuma with tickles so she does that to Zetsubo a ton) (its also one of the tamer things she does fhhf) ANYWAY

later on, once the main story like actually begins, Tirana does eventually find Akuma and takes her back to the cave thing. This is how Akuma and Zetsubo become friends and they try to make plans to escape

believe it or not, they're in the same universe that my ice cream bois are in, i just mainly draw those guys when Tenshi’s alive cuz it's less confusing

this isn't even the main storyline of this universe but like oofers

ok this is so honking long i gotta shut up i could talk about them forever, sorry if i overshared fhhfhg

[yokohamabeans]

Hey, bean. First of all, I just want to say, I'm a HUGE fan of your blog. I just found your blog last month and it's a goldmine. I already read all of your analysis on TR, especially the one about your opinion on Tenjiku members. You give so much insight and love about them. I used to like TR only bc of the art and Takemichi's journey. But after I discovered you, I became a Tenjiku fan :) Other than that, just today, I read your Kakucho/OC fanfic and you know what, IT'S A MASTERPIECE. I usually don't like to read OCs or reader-inserts bc I find most of them too be a bit bland and predictable (I'm sorry, I'm still new to the fandom). But your fanfic is one the most vivid and compelling writings, I have ever read for an OC fanfic. As soon as you describe the setting and the character's POV, I can immediately visualized and feel the vibe of the story. More to that, I can see that you did a lot of research on legends, folklore and stories, like Journey to the west, which I respect a lot. I admire you so much bc I can feel the dedication and effort that you put into writing Requital of a Crane. Besides that you also became an inspiration for me to start writing again. Honestly, I have always wanted to write a Character/OC fanfic, but it's so hard for me bc I don't know how to convey my idea into words (It's all messy and inconsistent) and also, I still don't really understand my OC (Bc her personality is so different from me). So, if you don't mind me asking, can you please tell me or give me tips on how you brainstorm and write your story? Thank you for reading this. Once again, your blog is AMAZING and I love it so much.

Please, Mr Bean is my father. Call me Yoko.

*EXCITED SCREAMING* THANK YOU ANON!!! And I’m glad I’ve recruited one more member into the Tenjiku Fanclub cuz those boys need more love in this world!!! Same—tbh I started TokRev because of the art but… not in a good way… I was a blind fool and found the character designs really weird, so naturally I had to check it out. But since then I’ve seen the light and now I’m kissing the ground that Wakui walks on. I got hooked on the story instantly and then Kakucho made his debut and the rest is history haha. ANYWAY—

I KNOW I REPEAT THIS A LOT BUT THANK YOU!! FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE SAID ABOUT ROAC!!! 😭😭😭 I do have to say that I spend quite a fair bit of time to make sure the story and its elements are accurate and ‘realistic’ so my heart is soaring that you noticed it all!!! THANK YOU!!!!

ANON YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY!!! I’M SO DAMN TOUCHED that my word-dumps are helping you get into writing again!!! I’m not so sure if I’m the right person to ask for tips, cuz I’m not confident in everything I put out. But I really feel you about having ideas that are also inconsistent/unclear cuz it’s a problem I have too (even with ROAC tbh), so I hope you can find something useful from how I usually go about planning/writing my OC fics!!

I usually start with thinking about what kind of OC I want to have. For example, what sort of qualities or person they are? It’s okay to have a rough idea at this point tbh. For example, I started ROAC with the intention of setting it in the BontenTL, so I wanted to have a character that’s also part of the underworld, and hostessing/prostitution in Japan has always been an interest I had, so I knew I had to have a ‘hostess’ OC. From there, I start to flesh her out in terms of personality and character, and see how she can fit in the overall plot/story of the fic, which I also develop simultaneously. I also think it’s actually even better if your OC is different from you because that’s really fun of having an OC--you get to explore and put yourself in the shoes of someone with a totally different life and perspectives!! (You can also express yourself in a way that you can’t in real life through them too, in a way?)

I usually have a document saved somewhere that contains a ‘Character Sheet’ and a ‘Plot Summary’ to plan everything out. For my ‘Character Sheet’ I basically try to create a Wikia article of them, meaning giving them a full-on profile with birthdays / appearances / background etc so I can keep track of what kind of person they’re like and see how they gel up together and how realistic it’d be. Meanwhile, I also have a plot summary where it’s basically a bullet list / timeline of what’s happening in the story and at which chapter. It’s usually easier to fill the Plot Summary after filling the Character Sheet, in my case. Anyway, this is how I try to keep everything consistent!

AND I FEEL YOU ON NOT KNOWING HOW TO CONVEY IDEAS INTO WORDS!!! 100%!!!! I think I have a very vivid idea of the scenes I wanna have, even playing them out in my mind like a movie, which is hard because on one hand there’s a specific image I want my readers to have, but I also don’t want to be too much of a nag and describe every single detail, y’know? I’ve since learned that there’s not really a need to describe everything about the settings/appearances of the scene unless it’s relevant to the plot. Instead, I’ve been choosing to focus more on the character’s thoughts and feelings, because that’s what would stick with the reader imo. 

And this is pretty cliched, but it also helps if you have some ‘writing inspiration’, like works or authors with prose you like or even a moodboard haha. I’m not sure if this is evident, but I’m writing ROAC heavily inspired by Natsuo Kirino’s ‘Out’ and ‘Grotesque’, so I often re-read those novels while writing ROAC to get some inspiration on how to get the gritty tone right. I also find it helpful to have some visual themes / motifs to inject into your story to paint a better picture. For example, I have a fic-inspiration tag for pictures that I want my various fics to ‘feel’ like, or basically anything that inspires me in fic writing haha. (I haven’t tagged much in it but here’s the ROAC fic-inspiration tag if you wanna know what I use for reference/inspiration.)

I think in the end, we all have different creative processes so Idk how helpful what I’ve said is. I think part of the fun in writing is also discovering that about yourself!! But if you’re to ask me a TLDR on tips, I’d say that of all, the ‘Character Sheet’ is my ultimate go-to when brainstorming or planning a fic!!

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

[rosefromc0ncret3]

feeling the feels.

its only been a few days since ive been back here in socal but I feel like I have so much to process. it sucks being far from family, friends and overall familiarity. its so weird knowing that being in socal is literally something ive always wanted and now that im here.. I question if this is really what I wanted. I wonder if its just cuz everything is so new and im having to readjust to a whole new environment in my late 20s. I know nothing could have prepared me for these feelings, I guess I just wish I knew how to cope with them better. there are also times where I am feeling it more heavily than other days. I really dont know when im gonna stop crying over this. its also so interesting going home cuz it literally feels like I never left and I just pick back up on the things I used to do when I was there. idk if im just romanticizing home.. cuz I know that when I was there, I felt like I was starting to grow resentment for it. and thats when I knew I had to leave and experience something new. I never wanted to end up hating it or feel stuck. and I felt so consumed by everything. the space is necessary forsure, I just didnt know how much I would feel like this. didnt think I was gonna miss everything and everyone this much. its like the distance makes me feel like people are gonna forget about me. or that im just missing out on everything back home. its interesting cuz I know that I dont wanna move back home just yet cuz I know I want to experience more life down here. but it just gets tricky cuz I cry about missing home every other day. idk, I guess I just confuse myself with these feelings.. I know that multiple feelings can coexist.. it just really fucken fucks with me sometimes cuz it sounds like idk what I want.i guess I'll figure it out one day right? I was talking to liana last night and she told me that I could take the easy way out if I wanted to and just go back home, but giving myself the opportunity to grow down here obvz isnt easy.. I hope that when I look back at this time in my life, I'll be glad that I did this move. so strange right? I couldnt wait to leave at first and now its like im thinking about when im gonna go back home.. been watching sf movies like crazy and I feel like it helps but it also doesnt.. haha. cuz im just yearning for it and being back. yknw.. its interesting again cuz I look forward to the future times I'll be home but I know im gonna dread leaving again and I know I'll cry every time. I guess thats just something that I know I'll have to deal with. its hard to not knowing who to talk to about this, even tho ive had multiple friends who have moved far and have experienced this as well. I guess I just dont wanna talk about it with anyone anymore cuz its the same shit. and I know people are gonna tell me the same shit anyway. so I guess rn im just tryna figure out how I can process this on my own.. as well as give myself grace throughout all this too. sigh, but how lol. I guess just taking it day by day. at the same time, its cool knowing that im in the vicinity of the things I like to do in la/oc. so that helps.. I have tammy to hang out with, but its hard when shes my only friend down here and she also has a lot of stuff to do. im hoping that I'll gain some new and meaningful friendships during my time down here. sigh, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see right? another thing thats been on my mind lately is my love life. which is something that I haven't really thought about lately, which is funny right.. considering how obsessive I was when it came to it and how I so badly wanted to be in a relationship ever since middle school. I think postgrad life (undergrad) just never gave me the opportunity to put myself out there, nor find anyone that I was really attracted to like that.. I mean more recently ofc ive had crushes on people that ive never acted on. I always tell myself that I feel like the guy should always try to show interest and make that initial move first. I mean my past has kinda shown me that whenever I tried to make the first move, it didnt necessarily work. I think im just traumatized lol. but idk, whenever I see my crushes get in relationships, I get into this spiral of what if I just did this or that. and then I start to think about what could have happened if I showed interest.. idk. I feel like im always romanticizing the dating scene too and just expect every dude to be like Peter kavinsky. or at least the ideal guy I have in my head be like that.. but idk. im always thinking about how I know I deserve the best when it comes to my romantic partner but I know I have to be realistic about my expectations too. but whats so bad about having high expectations and knowing what I want? idk. I guess ive just been hella in my head about this shit and its just so hard for me to wrap my head around it too. cuz im like whyyyy cant people just be upfront (me saying this when I cant even be upfront). so here I am just listening to songs about crushes and love thinking about specific people and wondering if it’ll ever happen. the thoughts in my head really just go round and round.. idk how else to process them besides just saying it out loud here. it helps sometimes, sometimes I feel like theres additional things I need to do. I guess I'll figure it out huh.. and just trust that im right where im supposed to be and that things will fall into place beautifully (even if the fall is a bit messy and ugly sometimes).