#and its the first search when you google jungwoo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soobrat · 2 years ago

Text

cynics; jns

part vi

masterlist

words; 7.1k

genre; angst & smut

warnings; hate comments mentioning suicide, revenge porn(?), depictions of rotting food, vomiting, sex w/ Jungwoo again, choking, rough sex, long dick!Jungwoo

preface; This took to long because I rewrote this about a dozen times and I'm glad I did. If I released that first idea I had, it would've been real bad lmao. I'm really proud of this chapter and if it flops more than usual I will experience a tragic ego death. Also first full smut scene whoo! It still feels weird putting on in this fic...

"you stupid piece of shit"

"rot in hell!"

"you should just fucking kill yourself"

"you'll pay for what you did"

Johnny couldn't focus on anything else. He tried to get more information but his phone kept buzzing. His shaky fingers turn off notifications for all the social media apps on his phone. No way those fucking idiots did this.

After getting no valuable information, Johnny opted to distract himself. No amount of video games, movies, or books could do the job. His heart never slowed. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. The words he was sent kept cutting through each thought. They have no proof it was YangYang or his friends, but a couple of streamers at the party reported seeing Naeun with YangYang, Lucas, and Johnny that night. YangYang seems to be public enemy number one since he was seen entering and exiting the bathroom by multiple witnesses. The biggest nail in the coffin being Dejun.

He was never involved in drama. When he was dragged into it, he approached the situation with objectivity and empathy. There were very few streamers unanimously loved and respected by the community. Whether it be their fandom, content, or questionable takes, there's always a caveat. Not Dejun. Everyone trusts Dejun.

"I did see her leave the bathroom with YangYang. Listen, I don't know much about the people involved. I don't want to stir up drama so carelessly like this, but there were only streamers at that party. Someone is responsible for this... disgusting deed and they should be held accountable. This could ruin Naeun's life. I don't care what you think about her or her content, this is completely unacceptable."

It was his biggest stream to date. This was one of the biggest scandals to hit the platform. This was bad. Extremely fucking bad. And it somehow got worse.

"What? What group chat?" Dejun searches google for everyone to see. Tens of thousands of people watch in awe as the shocking news is revealed. "There's a group chat for sharing female streamers' nudes?" Dejun raises his voice, face contorting in revulsion. "The source says it was started by streamers..."

That's when all hell broke loose. People had already made up their minds that YangYang took the pictures. Screenshots show the culprit confirming they were taken at the party. But now there were more culprits to be caught, and the pitchforks were out.

For once, the parasites had left Johnny's home. The one time he was afraid to be alone with his thoughts. How could they do something so reckless? So foolish? So rotten?

And Johnny associated himself with people like this. Let them in his house. Like it was instinctual, Johnny's eyes move toward the black sludge on the floor. His house was a pig sty. The smell was stomach wrenching. His flowers had all wilted. He stumbles toward his fridge, eyes watering as soon as he opens the door. He pinches his nose as he watches a hoard of flies flee from the rotting food. Unable to take it anymore, Johnny keels over, retching into a nearby garbage can. His stomach lurches as he empties its scarce contents. The smell of the garbage is no better. He can't escape the smell of rot as he heaves.

He continues to dry heave with nothing left to purge from his system. Unable to lose the overwhelming nausea.

You refresh Naeun's Twitter profile again. Her last update was the night of the party. You refresh again, unable to ignore the sinking feeling when no new tweets come up. You started following her on Twitch to see if you'd get a notification for a stream. Nothing.

"Whenever you feel up to it, consider telling your part of the story. No pressure."

It seemed like a no-brainer. Naeun probably feels alone right now. Her silence is beyond worrying. So why isn’t the ‘okay’ rolling off your tongue? Why does your face pinch up at the thought of doing so?

You feel even more guilty looking at your notifications. You’ve grown by thousands of followers. Your comment sections are all filled with love. You’re thriving.

“Our audience really loved you and we’ve been thinking, why don’t you join the Dreamies?”

No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t give anyone a clear answer. You couldn’t give yourself one. Touching either subject felt like touching fire. The more thought you put into it, the more you felt like recoiling from the subject altogether.

You refresh Naeun’s account again, letting out a heavy exhale at the lack of an update.

"I know you're still not happy with me after what I said that day." After a long, suffocating silence, Jisoo finally speaks, making you pick your head up.

"I don't really like how we left things either."

"Jisoo, I told you it's fine." You don’t look directly at her, just in her general direction.

"You don't want to talk about it, I can tell, but we have to. I don't like how I worded it, but there's a point at the core of what I said that I need you to understand."

You shut your eyes, face tense.

"I made it about me being frustrated with your relationship with those guys and I shouldn't have. The point I tried to make is this worrying cycle. No matter how poorly they treat you, you somehow end up around them. I don't think you've put enough thought into that." Jisoo leans closer to you from her spot on your bed, placing her hand on your knee. Her sincerity is difficult to ignore, it's difficult to keep up your guard. You still try, tensing up from her touch. You didn't want to have this talk. Not right now with all this going on.

"All the times I've run into them after I broke things off were not my doing. If anything they somehow end up around me." The lie was big enough to linger in your mind long after you spoke it. She didn't know you invited them in that night. She didn't know you were briefed about their presence at the party. There was a loud insistence in your mind that there was nothing to address. The sheer existence of the lie muffled that insistence.

Jisoo opens her mouth, hesitant to say what's on the tip of her tongue. "With the Naeun situation-"

"Ugh- Fuck! I don't want to talk about this! My pictures aren't in that group chat! YangYang didn't touch me! This has nothing to do with me!" You insist defensively. The root of the defensiveness perplexed you. If what you said was true, what was there to be defensive about? Never mind your trembling hands and increased heart rate. And that horrible feeling you got after saying the situation had nothing to do with you was formidable.

"Please, just listen!" Jisoo urges. She clenches her eyes shut, biting her quivering lip. "Who knows how many other girls there are? How many more girls are at risk to end up like Naeun?"

Her words gnaw at you, deepening the ache the guilt already caused. "Jisoo, I can't bring myself to understand why you're forcing me to think about this."

"It's because I think you're staying quiet to protect them." Jisoo answers quickly. She swallows hard. That feeling that she's hurting you is back, and without her frustration, it stings a lot more. "You have to understand that saying that is not easy. But you see now why I'm so worried, right? There is so much on the line if you stay quiet, but you're so adamant about it that my mind only went to one place." Jisoo says in a delicate voice.

"No. Absolutely not." You state bluntly. On the surface, it was downright ridiculous. What would you gain from protecting them?

"Okay, that's a relief," Jisoo breathes, "I just want you to think about it, okay?" She rubs your back and you nod. "And... just remember. The girls are probably afraid to speak up because they don't want their pictures to be leaked as well."

You grow rigid again when she brings the topic back up. "You don't have any material they can blackmail you with. Just... promise me you'll think about it?"

There it is. More reason for you to feel ashamed of not speaking up. There’s no excuse.

The air grows cold between the two of you and you pull away from her, all to Jisoo's dismay. "Can you leave, please? I'd like to be alone." You murmur.

Quietly, Jisoo stands from your bed. Once she reaches your door, she turns back to say something but decides against it. After you hear two sets of doors close you let out a shaky exhale. You ball your fists, trying and failing to contain your paralyzing concern.

"Look what I found!" You sing before flashing a toothy grin. Clasped in your fists were two bunches of pink and white larkspurs. Johnny gasps, pushing himself off the concrete ledge onto the plush grass.

"Oh my god... where did you find these?" He asks, excitement gleaming in his eyes. He cups his hands around your fists, gazing fondly at the flowers.

"That garden we saw out the window! Do you remember? Seventh grade?" You giggle, blissfully unaware of what you just admitted to. Johnny shouts your name before moving one hand to cover his mouth.

"So you stole?" YangYang stands from the spot he was sitting next to Johnny, an amused smirk on his face. You look at him, this stranger that just accused you of a crime, in disbelief.

"I did not! I mean... I did! But they won't even notice! They had tons! Show-offs." You counter defensively before blowing hair out of your face with a hardy puff of air.

"Yeah, that's still stealing. I didn't know the friend he's always going on about was a thief." His smug face still suggested he found humor in your reaction to his accusation.

"Who is this... guy?!" You turn your head slowly to look at Johnny with a bewildered expression.

"This is YangYang. And this is the girl I was telling you about." Johnny says, still pensive about the questionably acquired flowers.

"I kinda guessed as much. She's just like you described her-- well," YangYang turns from Johnny to you before pressing his lips into a thin line, "minus the thievery."

"Okay that's it. I'm going to the vending machines and when I come back! There better be no more troubling assumptions. But first," You lean forward to Johnny, whispering in his ear. His face turns red hot. "your hand, lovie."

Johnny looks down, his face searing even further if that were even possible. One of his hands was still firmly wrapped around your fist. He pulls away like he just got scorched. "Sorry!"

"Here." You press the flowers to his chest before smiling and kissing him on the cheek. If it were possible, his head would be engulfed in flames. YangYang watches you get a fair distance away before looking at Johnny.

"Dude, do you like her?" YangYang asks in genuine inquiry. Johnny clenches the flowers in his hands tighter before looking around the schoolyard.

"No! Of course not."

"I have never seen someone get so red in my life." He says with a knowing look.

"No! I don't! Why would I?" He whispers insistently.

"Why not?"

‘Why not?’, a straightforward question that complicated Johnny's thoughts. Realizing how reprehensible it was to say you were ugly like the other kids do, Johnny was left speechless. He didn't think you were ugly.

Noticing his struggle to answer, YangYang pats his arm. "Look, if you like her, what's so wrong with that? Liking someone isn't about pleasing everyone else."

His words stun Johnny even further, so he purses his lips and pats his arm a second time.

"YangYang! You comin' or what?" A group of boys that beckoned him earlier yell from across the field.

He walks backward as he sends Johnny a short wave. "Just some food for thought. See you later man."

"It wasn't me! Everyone is already accusing me with no substantial proof!" YangYang shouts, frenzied from his boisterous voice to his irregular body language.

"So you didn't take the photos." Taeyong's eyes linger on the computer, the reflection of the screen projected onto the lenses of his glasses. Only at the sound of YangYang's stammering does he calmly look up at him.

"I-I- You know what I mean! I didn't post the pictures on Twitter! That was someone else, probably a stupid fucking fanboy!" He only grows more frantic at Taeyong's indifferent accusation.

"So you did take the photos." He says with a look of disgruntled inquisition. YangYang panics, rushing closer to Taeyong, whose eyes follow him at every step. He raises his eyebrows, awaiting an answer. An answer that was already apparent by the time it took to be issued.

"You have to understand. I'm losing thousands of followers, I'm getting death threats, I've lost a shit-ton of sponsors, and streamers have come out to publicly denounce actions that haven’t been proven! Including that fucking snake, Mark." Each attempt of his to redirect his worry into anger fails once he notices Taeyong is still staring stonily. He's quiet for so long that everyone in the room feels like they're being held hostage. Taeyong opens his mouth, taking a quick inhale before speaking.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Please!" YangYang falls to his knees, clasping his hands together.

All Johnny could think about was all the good times he and YangYang had through the years. Comparing the YangYang from the past with the one he's been coexisting with for months now was near impossible. He seemed like a cool dude. Johnny would go as far as to call him a genuinely kind person.

How could his judgment have been so off? He knew he was up to no good, but this? This was too far, this was too much... There was no way it was in front of my eyes this whole time.

It was a throwaway thought to try and ease some of his bewilderment, but as soon as he put an ounce of thought into it, the proof kept coming.

The way he continuously belittled your emotions. His amusement at your misfortune. How eager he was to take advantage of you when he knew you were in a vulnerable state, twice.

But how was Johnny supposed to know that would amount to this? He’d never seen him treat anyone else that way. Maybe Lucas and Doyoung, but not YangYang. No, Johnny never saw this coming.

“Well, we got her ready for you.”

Nausea rumbled in his stomach, threatening to send him kneeling over a trash can again.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes." Taeyong stands from his dining room table. "I've been doing some damage control, I think I have things under control. One of my contacts was able to get in touch with an executive at Twitch. Bans have been lifted."

Lucas, Doyoung, and most importantly YangYang let out a sigh of relief. YangYang collapses to his hands and knees. "Thank you Taeyong! Thank you so much!" He sits up and rushes to open Twitch on his phone. Johnny looks around, the other two are on their phones as well. So that's it? The situation's over?

Naeun's voice early that morning kept ringing in his ears.

Suddenly YangYang's face falls. "How long is it going to take to lift the ban? It says I'm still banned for 30 days-"

The loud slam of Taeyong's laptop makes everyone in the room flinch. Even Nayeon looks pensive. He lets the silence linger as he throws his glasses on the table before glaring at YangYang.

"Don't you get it? You fucked up bad. There's no fixing it. When I said bans have been lifted, I didn't mean for any of you raging dickheads." Taeyong's voice booms, hitting every corner of the room. "Now I have to, essentially, rebuild this group from scratch."

"B-babe! I just want you to know that Johnny had nothing to do with this, okay? One less person to replace!" Nayeon rubs each of Taeyong's arms in an attempt to soothe him. He sighs, pinching his nose bridge.

"Doesn't matter. Johnny's reputation is salvageable. The only evidence against him is him talking to Naeun at the party. Everyone knew they were friends, so that can be explained away. These three?" Taeyong starts, gesturing at the three in question.

"My sources are estimating at least one hundred women with first-person accounts of being propositioned by you absolute idiots. You're about to be investigated for a crime. You're done." He stresses.

"Wait- what about her!" Doyoung frantically points to Nayeon. "She was in on it too! At least with ___!"

"She wasn't stupid enough to get caught. I don't care about what you do. Just how you do it. This was messy from the beginning, all it takes is common sense to know that starting a group chat was moronic. At least share them with each other. And for pictures of naked girls? You can find those for free!" Taeyong stresses, stunned and in disbelief.

"They make money off their bodies, why can't we?" Lucas finally speaks up after stewing in anger. He clenches his jaw, challenging Taeyong with his glare.

"Is that what's happening? What are you, an incel vigilante? And on top of all this, you did it for some extra pocket change?" Taeyong shows no interest in his challenge, instead looking at him like he's pathetic.

"We've made at least a hundred thousand total for access to the server. It's more than what you've ever done for us. And look how quickly you're turning your back on us! You'd be nothing without us!" Lucas shouts.

"Let me make sure I'm getting this right. I've barely done anything for you and-- in fact-- I'd be nothing without you? That's what this is?" Taeyong smiles menacingly. Everyone can feel how foreboding his words are, except for Lucas it seems.

"Yes! You practically begged us to join your streaming group! You promised to link us with sponsors and big streamers and then you just stopped!"

"Lucas shut the fuck up you're not helping." YangYang whispers angrily, pulling Lucas by his shirt. Lucas tugs his hand away, his anger and glare still directed at Taeyong.

"No! And the fact that you guys are still sitting here and taking this shit is downright embarrassing. Have a little self-respect." He fumed, looking around the room at his friend group and continuing to ignore the warning in their eyes.

"Poor, stupid Lucas. Always needing someone else to do all the work. It was hard, wasn't it?" Taeyong flashes Lucas a pout before his face grows rigid. "I can always show you what hard is really like. Do you want to see me at my most unhelpful? How about I make that happen for you." He spits with a scowl.

The threat clearly got to Lucas if his face was anything to go by. "W-whatever. I'm out of here. You guys can stay here and be his little lap dogs if you want." Taeyong puts his head down, letting the tall man pass. Once the door slams he speaks again.

"One thing's for sure, you guys were all quick to take control after I gave you a boost. That guy was doomed to fail." Taeyong straightens his tie before properly regarding the two of the stooges that were left.

"If somehow the two of you make it out of this alive, I have no doubt you'll be just fine. However, I can't help you anymore." He presents them each with a tight smile and firm handshake. "Now get out of my house."

The two of them leave with one last apology and their tails between their legs.

"You were right to kick them out, babe. I could tell they were no good-"

"You know, one of the first things that impressed me about you was your intelligence. You pretend to be ditzy, but you know how to play your cards right. So it's baffling to me that you got yourself caught up in this." Taeyong doesn't turn to face her, he just stares out the large bay window illuminating his pristine living room.

"I'm sorry, it's just- she kept trying to make a move on you! Even you complained about it!"

"Exactly! I'm the one who has to deal with this bullshit! I've had to deal with it since high school!" He swings around to look at her, the anger he's held on a short leash getting closer to breaking free. "I've had to stomach her for years! I think you could deal with a little jealousy." He drives his finger into his own chest before pointing sharply at her.

His words shocked both Nayeon and Johnny, but for entirely different reasons. Nayeon nods, a blank stare all she could manage after being chewed out.

"Oh and darling, do yourself a favor and pretend to be the most outspoken activist you can possibly be for at least a year. I don't need to remind you what female viewers call you, right?"

"No. And will do." Nayeon mumbles and tries to smile, but it looks closer to a grimace.

"Good." Taeyong breaths. "Now we have to worry about convincing Mark and ___ to come back. She's the big one. Once she comes back it'll look like those three were the reason she left. Johnny, I'm counting on you for that."

Johnny feels like he hasn't been truly present since YangYang confirmed his involvement. All he could focus on was how much harm had been done.

"If you can't do it, I could probably convince her pretty easily-"

"No." Johnny says, looking as if he's just come to an earth-shattering realization. After everything that's been done, now he wants to drag you back here to make you suffer again. "Taeyong… she told us flat out she was miserable here."

Taeyong exhales amusedly, looking at Johnny like he just doesn't get it.

"If that's what the two of you choose to believe, have it your way. At the end of the day, there's a reason we all ended up together. She's the one that invited me to be friends with the two of you. You invited YangYang. Doyoung and Lucas came on their own but you two welcomed them in with open arms. Nayeon is the only person the two of you didn't approve of. So don't stand there and act like these horrible people were forced onto both of you."

It felt like deja vu, the way Johnny felt himself getting more hysterical with each word Taeyong said. "I didn't know they were capable of this!"

"So you're drawing the line now?"

Johnny was ready to argue, get years worth of pent up anger for this man off his chest. Yet, with just six words, all that fighting spirit was ripped from his body. Seeming content with Johnny's silence, he continues.

"Deep down you knew who you associated yourself with. Besides, you're not so innocent yourself." Taeyong reaches for Nayeon's arm, watching with pity as Johnny grapples with his guilty conscious being pulled to the forefront. "Leave whenever you're done sulking."

"EVEN IN HER ABSENCE, EUNPRIL'S SUBSCRIBER AND FOLLOWER COUNTS SKYROCKET"

"VIDEOS SHOWCASING TWITCH STREAMER EUNPRIL'S NUDE PHOTOS SPREAD ON ADULT SITES"

"POPULAR STREAMER EUNPRIL'S PARENTS BEG INTERNET USERS TO STOP SPREADING HER EXPLICIT PHOTOS"

Attached to each and every new article is a blurred picture of Naeun's body. People are posting the photos on Twitter as a joke. Miles away from each other, both you and Johnny torture yourselves. Your eyes were straining from staring at your phones all day. You both could barely sleep, not with the potent feeling of remorse churning in your stomachs. The only difference is that Johnny was alone.

"Why are you torturing yourself, babe?" Jungwoo reaches over and covers your phone screen. You shut your eyes and sigh. By now they were uncomfortably dry. You lock and drop your phone on your nightstand. Jungwoo waits for you to respond but you don't say anything. "Beating yourself up isn't gonna solve anything, okay?"

"She still hasn't said anything.” You respond weakly as you stare at nothing in particular. “Radio silent."

\\ | //

Johnny: remember when we were talking about our school experiences?

Johnny: you told me you’d rather cut off a limb than go back to high school

Johnny: I thought about that a lot after you said it. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t, unless you peaked back then

Johnny: I guess I felt validated by that a tiny bit. I know it’s hyperbole and you probably wouldn’t actually do that

Johnny: but I don’t think that’s such an absurd sentiment

No answer. Not even a flash of a typing animation.

Johnny: I just found out they were charging people for entry into the group chat

Johnny: it makes me sick to my stomach

Johnny: I can’t

Johnny: I can’t process this at all

The screen is filled top to bottom with his unanswered messages. The longer he stares, the more he’s faced with the possibility of her ignoring him.

\\ | //

"She's probably just waiting for everything to die down. That's normal for situations like this. I'm sure she's okay."

Not even a short tweet giving her fans notice that she's taking a break. No Instagram story with an immediate reaction. Nothing. "If I come out against YangYang..." You start, making Jungwoo shift forward from behind you on the bed. "Won't it just make everything more complicated? I don't have proof, so what will I contribute, really?"

Jungwoo lets the silence after you speak linger as he figures out an appropriate response. His mouth hangs open, really giving his words thought to avoid overwhelming you further, lest you stay bedridden.

"I'm gonna be honest. I haven't known you for a huge amount of time, but this doesn't sound like you talking." Jungwoo says, resting a warm hand on your side. When you don't answer he sighs, sitting up on his knees. "When I first met you, you had some problems with self-esteem. You'd claim that the things you said were stupid and agree with insults directed at you. But you still didn't let anything get in between you and the things you believed in. The woman I met freshman year did whatever she could to stick up for people who couldn't stick up for themselves. She didn't let anyone pressure her out of it, either."

There were so many moments during your school years when you begged, hoped, and prayed for things to change. That you'd wake up, get on the bus with Johnny, and not be afraid to enter the building. But time after time, you were shown how truly powerless you were.

Seeing other people in similar situations like that felt like you were watching yourself. Or worse. It felt like you were witnessing Johnny in pain all over again. You wish you could say your passion ceased once you came to terms with your past and that you stopped caring about Johnny.

Putting things into perspective, your decline of passion coincided with the berating starting to get to you. The more the boys belittled you, the less confident you were in your actions. It wasn’t long until you started questioning everything you’ve done, or if you’re actually helping the people around you. Did you actually ever help Johnny?

\\ | //

Johnny: if you’re seeing this, please just give me a sign

Johnny: anything

Johnny: you don’t even have to answer, just let me know you’re there

There was no one there to soothe Johnny’s thoughts. If he were in school again, you’d be there to pet his head and tell him not to worry about Taeyong. But you weren’t there. So Johnny continued to recollect every nasty action he ignored or even encouraged.

Johnny: you deserve justice for what happened to you

Johnny: people are on your side, if you came out and confirmed that you slept with YangYang that night and he asked for a picture, that’ll be the end for them

He drops his hand by his side, finally looking up from the screen after what seemed like hours. He sank his head into the plasticky pillows of his hotel room, looking up at the ceiling. The material crinkles right next to his ears, but its impact fails to penetrate his overworked brain.

I didn’t know.

What could I have done?

It wasn’t me.

Every attempt was a shot in the dark. Why wasn't this feeling fading, would it ever fade? Would he feel like this forever? The thought of that sends Johnny spiraling, desperate for a temporary buffer for this suffocating feeling. There was one place he would go that always helped him when he was alone. Imagining he was in a familiar pair of arms with your voice playing into his ears like a soft melody.

“Johnny, why are you crying? Please don’t cry. We’ll be okay, everything will be okay.”

Johnny takes a deep breath and holds it, letting his mind drift away for at least one moment.

Everything will be okay.

He brushes away a tear with his thumb before lifting his phone back up. Upon catching a glimpse of the typing indicator, Johnny sits up straight. His thumbs are frantic as they type.

Johnny: hi!

Johnny: I’m so glad to see you’re here

Johnny: I’ve been so worried, you haven’t been updating any of your socials

Being faced with Naeun’s silence once again, the guilt spreads further than can be ignored. There's only so much he can do with your memory before the guilt from that tears away at him as well. Tears stream down his face as he stares at his texts.

Johnny: please, do anything but ignore me

Johnny: yell at me, tell me I’m a piece of shit

Johnny: I’m dying here

Through his tears, he is forced to face the facts. She doesn’t want to talk to him. Not even to chide him. What if this is it? If she quits? Never speaks to him again? Never shows her face publicly?

With the suffocation at full force by now, Johnny succumbs to it, collapsing into the bed.

Johnny: I’m so sorry

\\ | //

“You’re not speaking again,” Jungwoo says defeatedly. You let in a fractured inhale, softly shutting your eyes in an attempt to ground yourself. With a slow exhale, you let them open again.

“I’m sorry. Where were we?” You turn around in your bed to face Jungwoo before leaning in for a kiss. It’s short and tender, efficient in its job of distracting you.

“We were talking about Naeun.” Jungwoo says in a low voice, wariness evident in the raise of his brows. Your grin stretches wide as you wrap your arms around his waist and pull him closer. “No, before that.”

“We were cuddling if I recall correctly.” He tilts his head to the side and peers down at you with narrowed eyes.

“I recall neck kisses. Why did you stop?” You expose your neck invitingly, raking your fingernails up his sides and causing him to shiver. He quirks his jaw, privy to what you’re pulling. Still, he swiftly shifts the two of you so that you’re on your back and he’s hovering over you. You gasp when he grabs your legs and pulls your crotch level with his. When he grinds down you inhale sharply.

“Don’t think you’re getting away scot-free.” Jungwoo grunts, the way his hips rock into you is rough, but how hard his cock is already shows how much he’s craving you as well.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll talk of course. You owe me this anyway.” You purr the last part before wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him harder against you. He coos, pouting as he brushes your hair out of your face.

“You must’ve been so needy without me here.” He tugs your shorts down, stretching the drawstring hem over your hips. He slips them off one leg, lifting the other higher to finally free them. He turns his head to plant a wet kiss on your calf. You hum, making quick work of your underwear before pulling Jungwoo back down by his shirt. With your left hand, you rummage through your nightstand before coming across a condom. He shoves his own underwear down, just enough to free his dick. After grabbing the condom from your hand, he rolls it on before brushing his tip against your clit. You shudder at the feeling.

Being filled with a comforting fire, you pull Jungwoo in for a hungry kiss, wasting no time licking inside his mouth. He eagerly kisses back, the force of his actions pushing your body flush against your bed. You moan inside his mouth as he pushes past your lips and enters your wet and swollen hole. You pull back to look at him with pleading eyes, attempting to communicate how painfully in need of this you were. He answers by capturing your lips again and thrusting you into the bed.

You yelp, Jungwoo was just a little too long for his own good. Each thrust brings his hips slamming against yours and you bite your lip. “T-too much.” you squeeze out.

“Hm, thought you wanted my cock?” He chuckles, shallowing his thrusts before leaning next to your ear. “Can’t handle all of it?” He snakes a hand up your chest and wraps it around your throat. You whimper as tears well up in your eyes. Your thighs clench around his hips subconsciously. Jungwoo huffs.

“Sending me mixed signals, darling.” He uses his grip on your throat to hold you against the bed as he leans away. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as his dark eyes gaze into yours. “Is it too much or do you want me to really give it to you?” He quirks his brow as he watches you struggle. Jungwoo only fucks you like this when one of you wants to blow off steam or when he really needs to fuck. Right now it must be somewhat both since you know he can tell this whole situation is bothering you.

For the past week, you’ve been buzzing with a complicated emotion. You’ve barely had a moment to rest, physically and mentally. Actually, you can’t remember the last time you completely relaxed. There has always been at least one pressing issue weighing on you since middle school.

You’ve always been wary about, well, a lot of things. Scared of getting hurt. But thinking logically, what would actually happen? You won’t die, that’s for sure. Why shouldn’t you indulge in the things you really want to do?

“I wanna do it.” You grunt, pulling Jungwoo’s hand from around your neck. “I’m joining the Dreamies.”

“Wait, what?” Jungwoo’s entire aura changes as he’s filled with confusion.

“I’m just so sick of being worried about the things I want. I want a thriving career. I want to exist in a non-toxic environment. I want trustworthy friends who treat me well!” You ramble at the confused man above you.

“Okay, that’s great! What about what we were-” You cut him off by tugging him closer by his collar.

“I want you to fuck me hard and deep.” You hiss.

“You’re okay? I know I was trying to be sexy earlier but I actually wanna know if you can take it-”

“Just fuck me Jungwoo.” You say exasperatedly. He chuckles before flipping you over and hiking your hips higher.

“That can be arranged.” He grunts as he carefully inserts himself back into you. “Any updates on opening up about the Naeun thing…” He trails off, expecting you to cut him off.

“We were finishing what we started first, remember?”

\\ | //

The sudden noise of his phone ringing makes Johnny flinch. He sniffles, wiping away his tears before getting a better look at the name. He answers and slowly lifts the phone to his ear.

“Jaehyun? It’s been so long man!” Johnny says before clearing his throat, scrambling to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Indeed it has! I just heard about all this stuff and wanted to check up on you.” Jaehyun sounds just as sprightly as Johnny remembers. Johnny chuckles awkwardly.

“Y-yeah, it’s been a really… revealing situation.”

“I bet. As soon as I heard about it and heard about the accusations against you I thought, “no, couldn’t be Johnny”. I knew you’d never do something so despicable, that’s what I told Dejun.”

Is this why Dejun hasn’t been accusing Johnny? He’s been following him closely, waiting for his name to come up, but Dejun has yet to say anything regarding him. It was something Johnny started to think was inevitable. Any moment now, Dejun would end Johnny’s career for good. But he didn’t. And the hate has been ever so slightly clearing up. Which should make him feel better.

After Johnny doesn’t respond, Jaehyun continues. “Anyway, I also wanted to see if you were down to hang out like old times, maybe even stream together like we did at the very beginning. Without our old shitty webcams, of course.” Jaehyun says, jokingly assuring Johnny.

Johnny forces a short laugh. “Right, of course. Just like old times. I’d be happy to hang out with you again.”

“Cool. Ooh! Speaking of old times! How’s ___ doing? Think she could meet up too?”

\\ | //

“Ah- fuck!” You curl your fingers into your sheets as his cock barrels deeper than you thought possible. At first it was uncomfortable, then something primal unleashed within you the more his tip smashed against your cervix. “So fucking good-” You keen, pushing your ass back to meet his thrusts.

“I can feel you clenching. Gonna cum around my dick? Hm?” He reaches for your head and tugs at your hair. You moan embarrassingly loud, never answering him in favor of babbling nonsense. “Don’t go dumb on me now.”

He doesn’t help when he pounds into you harder than before, focusing less on speed and more on the power of his thrusts. You can feel him in your stomach, rearranging your guts like you’ve heard people raving about. It truly is all it’s cracked up to be.

“Make me cum please I want it so bad!” You mumble through sobs, feeling the intense pressure build up in your stomach. When he pushes your head into the bed your moans increase in pitch. Each thrust makes your legs quiver with more fervor. With an especially hard thrust, Jungwoo sends his tip so deep you can feel it in your toes. A sharp shriek flies from your throat as your hips fly backward and push flush against his. You jerk against him as your walls squeeze around his cock, gushing cum until it drips down your thighs.

“That’s it. Cum all over me.” He breathes, continuing to push your head into the pillows. You whimper as you come down from your high, feeling overcome with exhaustion. You plop down, collapsing into the covers. “Ah ah, I’m not down with that cunt of yours.” He plops down with you, hips finding yours again while his dick easily slips back in. You wince, but you love the feeling of his warmth as he ruts against you. Your phone rings and you smirk as you slap your hand against it.

“Be good.” You look back and mutter before answering. “Hello?”

“Hey! It’s Jaehyun! Remember me?”

You gasp, hoisting yourself up on your elbows. “Jaehyun?! Oh my god, it’s been so long! Of course I remember you.” You say incredulously, trying not to laugh at Jungwoo’s careful thrusts.

“Just checking, just checking. Seems like so much has changed. What’s this I’m hearing about you and Johnny not being in touch?”

Your smile falls, you maneuver your phone into your shoulder. “Yeah, things happen I guess.”

“Things happen?! You guys were the definition of inseparable! And friends since middle school? That’s a bond that’s hard to come by.”

You couldn’t blame him for being shocked. He wasn’t there to witness the transition. Seeing the two of you as high school seniors versus now is like witnessing two completely different sets of people.

“You know what I always told you, right?” Jaehyun says, and you could see the leery look on his face. He really hasn’t changed.

“I remember. You told us our friendship was too special to throw away.” You repeat, trying not to sound as unenthusiastic as you feel.

“I meant that then and I mean it now. The two of you just felt like you really got each other. More than that, you really helped each other.”

“Yeah.” You say louder than you meant to, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“Now that I know you guys are going through all this without each other, I definitely need to come. I’d hate to see you guys struggling.”

Again, the sincerity is really hard for you to ignore.

“It means a lot Jaehyun, and I really want to see you, but I think Johnny and I are a lost cause.” You explain earnestly.

“No way. I just can’t believe that, I’m seriously floored right now. Did you guys kiss or something? Because everyone was banking on you guys getting together.”

“No! Oh my god- it was nothing like that!” You start to blush at his words, and not at the fact that Jungwoo was cumming into his condom behind you. “Me and Johnny? No!”

“Why are you guys talking about Johnny?” You ignore Jungwoo who’s throwing away his used condom.

“Whatever happened, we can talk about it when I’m in your city. We’re gonna see each other at TwitchCon anyway, but I’d like to hang out with you guys before then.”

“Oh yeah definitely. I’m just not so sure about hanging out all together.” You report joylessly.

“For sure, I understand. I’ll make an effort to swing by your place whenever you’re free or go meet up somewhere else, just let me know.”

“Will do, I can’t wait to see you again.” Your previous excitement was completely wiped clean despite your efforts.

“Talk to you soon!”

“See ya, Jaehyun.”

You end the call and place your phone on your nightstand. It wasn’t the first time you’d heard someone say that. Everyone had teased you two about dating or liking each other. You thought it was just that, teasing. Especially since watching Johnny vehemently insist you weren’t dating seemed amusing to them. Never did you think it was serious.

“I ask again, why were you talking about the dickhead?” A puzzled Jungwoo asks as he puts his clothes on.

“I was talking to an old friend. He didn’t know about everything that happened.”

Jungwoo hisses knowingly. “That must be so awkward for both of you.”

“I-it’s like very awkward.” You shake his words about you and him dating out of your mind.

“I’m gonna jet, but I’ll text you later.” Jungwoo says as he pockets his phone. You sigh and roll your eyes.

“This simply won’t do. I need someone to fuck that doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Good luck finding someone who’ll make you scream like I just did.” Jungwoo says before your door clicks closed.

When he leaves, you’re able to fully reminisce about your times with Jaehyun before he moved away. Johnny solidified your love for gaming, but Jaehyun ignited your love for streaming. It was extremely fun, and even more sad when he left.

They were good times, but they were in the past.

taglist; @baehaechannie @maximumdreamchild @safariria

#johnny #cynics #jungwoo #nct #kpop #smut #angst #jungwoo smut #johnny angst #nct smut #kpop smut #nct angst #kpop angst

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