#and its not something i can bitch about because it will make ppl uncomfy

[bunny-j3st3r]

.

[phightinghottakes]

I like subkit, subkit can be good actually, subkit shippers are just cringe abt it sometimes and then ppl say they hate it to get on a moral high horse for not shipping toxic pairings.

me personally no I would never ship them in canon………..because there are no ships that would work canonically (creators have stated) (no I do not agree because swocket is peak‼️‼️‼️). but also because they are terribly abusive and that’d be a weird thing to make canon in a roblox game. It’s fun on paper, bad in execution, that kinda thing. makes for some sillie toxic yaoi art and fanfics. So I ship out of canon. go crazy go stupid :3c it’s more of a crackship anyway

also I think it’s kinda weird how other ships that would also 100% be abusive like vinescythe or medbroker are like never talked abt that way. (no shade to either vinescythe my beloved) it’s like exclusively subkit that the entire community collectively hates and I think it’s just because subspace was stated by soda to medkits abuser, so yes that would be weird to ship them, but there are other horrible people in the phighting universe. Granted subspace was stated to be abusive to medkit in particular so maybe he’d be a good partner to others, but dialogue from scythe to vinestaff like your horns would look great on my wall, generally threatening medkit while medscythe is a somewhat common ship, etc and they’re still shipped like, in a healthy way lmao. I think it’s fine bc again. U don’t have to listen to canon. But i think it’s kinda dumb that subkit is like the only one hated. Bitches be more mad abt age gaps between consenting adults than literal murderers and criminals dating innocent people as if that isn’t also problematic. >> (also keep in mind I mean people who get mad about the age gaps but think the ladder pairings is ok, not people who acknowledge the abusive and ship them anyways for funnnies but think the age gap is uncomfy.) even with the abuse aspect, js because u ship them doesn’t mean u think they’re healthy or think their relationship is ok. It’s just fun for angst scenarios and whatnot. If ur gonna not ship subkit for being abusive, by that logic u can’t ship a lot of other common ships in the fan base since a lot of the cast are terrible people lmao

anywhosies ship what u want as long as its not pedophillia or other yucky shit!!! remember abuse is abuse ofc but this is fiction, u could even make healthy subkit or summ idk

I don’t know if healthy Subkit is something that can physically exist without bending the characters behind recognition.

[frostbite-the-bat]

Okay, my brain is still a little scrampled eg :tm: and foggy and I'll have to go to sleep again soon but I want to ramble about this as I think writing it down may help others but also help to ram it in my own head a little bit - so this may not be worded the way id like it to but hopefully the message will still come across

This is about fanwork/headcanons/aus and such - since I am working on quite a big Deltarune AU myself and I constantly worry about it not being "canon" enough, since it is meant to be canon-esk and develop things that the player doesn't see in the game.

But... That is kind of the magic of aus! You can do so much cool stuff with an existing media, potray things your own way, change things to suit your needs or change problematic things, add cool ocs, add cool headcanons and make them canon in the au and create things to support them even more, and other things!!! literally go ham and have fun!!!!!! i am thinking abt that one post that i rbd a while ago that i rbs bc of the last addition abt aus and how people should make oc worlds at that point (and how that is how twilight was created)

And I suppose, if you change canon characters too much and claim them as your ocs (like the fucking mass amount of spamton ex ocs, and we know how i feel about those /neg) but still!! literally just have fun its not harming anyone, only absolutely butthurt negative assholes!!! ive been worrying about changing stuff in **MY** au because one or two people out there may not like it.

if you were in the early bugsnax fandom you may remember the drama about people giving them tails. yes!! people argued abt giving grumpuses tails!! and like !!who cares!! change the designs however the fuck you want! go ham!! make them fluffy! give them cute ears and tails! give them paw pads! give them cool markings! make them in your design and make your version of them truly yours and make it fun to draw! im sure all those designs are lovely and fun and if you wanna do it nothing should fucking stop you

and same goes for me and other ppls hcs!! currently i was worrying about making everything kinda furry-esk in my dpau and all that, and the MASSIVE changes ive done to plugboys and yesmen especially (literally making yesmen snake people for several reasons)

and like!! who cares its not canon!! its MY interpretation!! its MY au!! my au that changes so much stuff and allows me to create an amazing oc story and world within an pre-existing media AND letting those characters interact with canon characters!! and add new stories with canon characters and expand canon species!! literally dont hold yourself back unless it stresses you out and shit! (i need to learn that lol..i add TOO much stuff) its not even canon and i fully know the difference!!!

but literally! its also an outlet for creativity and i think you should be allowed to go ham if you want. if someone tells you to not do something like give grumpuses tails or make the addisons fluffy theyre an asshole.

literally like as long as ur not making the media harmful like add gross shit like p//dophilia, z//philia and whitewash characters or do any other racist digusting shit then i think u should be allowed to have fun! wanna make smthn a furry? go on ahead have fun literally fuck ppl!! who is it harming????????? like! you can also dislike these things! just scroll look away, maybe block which is all fine and healthy you can and should do that! if a hc doesnt match yours and may make you uncomfy literally just ignore it. dont start shit thats pointless. spend ur time better, draw cute puppies instead or smthn!! or speak about it privately bc i think being a bit bitchy with friends is okay to have an outlet but if you go directly after someone literally fuck off. (i personally can confirm theres some things i bitch about a lot but guess what i also do!! i also block those things and look away!! and im actively tryna get better than be hurt over pointless stuff online bc its not smthn im proud of)

but like srsly.. let ppl have fun n shit!!! srsly theres no harm in it fjgirhgotr yall 2 serious

[ayatosmlktea]

tw discourse??? it’s been a while since i came on tumblr due to me being off all social media but i just need to address this because its important.

i wanna say: i think ur a good person. but i’m reminded of when i saw you publicly roleplaying which was nsfw at times with us minors and ppl way younger than u in that one midoriya server a few months ago. which is a good reason why i left it back in july or so. i’m attacking you but because of ur age u need to start being aware of how your interactions with minors will affect us because it’s uncomfy and dangerous. “i’m 24 but mentally feel 19 cuz time is weird” or whatever u said in response to being asked about ur age is not an excuse. i just couldn’t ignore this anymore i don’t think u should too🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

wtf am I ignoring my guy? My blog says minors DNI so idk why you, a minor, are here but okay. Clearly it’s been a while since you’ve been off of social media because I’ve said smth abt this before.

The deku server role-play was just for shits and giggles, the nsfw stuff was directed towards the characters and not the person saying shit because one, I literally want nothing to do with minors??? I also never asked for nsfw rp? I’m not begging anyone to rp dabi so I can say lemme suck your dick. Furthermore, the nsfw rp was never taken seriously? I’m not sitting there getting hot and bothered bc a fucking fictional character is telling me they wanna choke me out????? 

I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable but also, there were 2 other admins u could've messaged to say u weren’t feeling comfortable. 

I also wanna say that you should be sending this message to a lot of other people. Also when we made the NSFW age restricted channel, a lot of you minors were bitching about not being able to see what was in there so if you were feeling uncomfortable, I apologize but I’m not the only one you should be attacking.

Have you also messaged the minors in DPS who lied about their ages to get into Yagami’s server? I hope that makes you uncomfortable too.

I have a brain el oh el. Me saying mentally I feel like I’m 19 is not me saying oh well I think I’m younger than I really am so it’s okay for me to do these things 🤪. I am fully aware I’m 24? I know I’m an adult? Idk what your point in bringing that up was? I'm not excusing anything?? I’m not fucking saying “im 24 but I really feel like im 14 🥺🥺🥺 uwu” I’m saying that I am a grown person who is expected to have their shit together but I feel underprepared and lost? My own perception of what a 24yo would be doesn’t match up to what I’m doing with my life? But go off booboo I'm rlly proud of you.

I can own up to doing something wrong, but also if you know who I am, and you’re still sending this on anon instead of confronting me face to face like? Okay anyway. 

In summary: I dont care if you think im a good person, but fuck off

[gg-astrology]

🥺😔☀️💓❤️💓

a rambly all-over-the-place personal note! Incase you just want to hear from me and talk to me!! I know i’ve been gone for a while so if any followers old/new wants to hear what I actually say when Im not answering posts, here it is! 💓❤️💓 

the main point so you don’t have to see any of the mess: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted! 

note: the main part of this isn’t even about the above so if u’re looking for drama or me angsting you may not find it here!! i think i sound more like im fatigued and on my last brain cells.. talking about everything and being v sappy and mellow.. so!!! 💓❤️💓 no drama. not here! not today! 

ok now, consider:

what do u guys think about me just taking it easy... i dont know if you’ve been here for a while or for long.. but I usually do pretty detailed research posts?? about topics like moon phase in astrology, basics on essential dignitaries, etc. 

Astrology ‘topics’... stuff like ‘what is x chart what does it mean’ or ‘what is x concept how does it work’ -- not about placements usually!!! 💓❤️💓Asks about placements I just answer for fun from my inbox.. but posts I actually make.. those are the type of things!!! 💓❤️💓

And well.. I just came back.. not in the mindset right now.. so i was thinking.. would u be ok/interested if i take a break from those posts and maybe post more idol astrology stuff?? nothing serious, I just want to have fun and talk about placements and gush over people who may have similar placements to us and how good they are + how we can learn from them... 

Its just fun stuff?? very light-hearted (dont talk to me about crying through them sometimes, bc theyre so good even when i see harsh aspects/them going through manifestation of that throughout their careers) -- idk!! I just want to maybe talk about girls for a while and like, ask people to love girls and support/appreciate girl groups and asian soloists and artists... 

idk!! just a thought.. like.. i’ll still answer astro stuff and maybe i’ll slip astro posts in there as well.. 90% of my blog is still main astro stuff.. just that 10% maybe i’ll do more idol readings.. it lifts my spirits and i like talking about them!! i know its a niche in tumblr, esp the kpop gg astro stuff.. but like... girls...!!! and seventeen members (im nearly done oh my god theres 3 more left!!!)

I know i put a lot of effort into the bangtan readings bc theyre like-- the semi between my usual intense stuff and the light-hearted ones so im-- probably not gonna touch them yet (for now)  -- I always have high expectations for them because they have to be a certain Standard. There’s alot of great bangtan astro posts out there -- part of that is also v pressuring. But another part is that I want to contribute to something in the community as well! That is like, new and welcomed and good and Not Bad... so... I’m holding off bc I have to have like, a week to actually write, edit, re-edit, check myself before I (usually) publish them.. so... this is ur warning my bts inner readings wont be coming out soon!! 

im just talking about gg stuff -- or other idols, thinking about twice and gfriend and oh my god.... girl groups...

I rmb I used to do it to promote solo artists that might not have gotten alot of attention as well.. I still have drafts about Bolb4.. now consider: younha... also consider: xiao zhan, wang yibo... oh my god... but what if-- idk!!! idk!!!!!!

Anyways I just want to let u know whats been on my mind!!! I honestly dont really know? I posted the bangtan answer today (with a warning beforehand) and AS SOON AS I PUBLISHED 4 people left -- to be honest its pretty funny,,, its kinda funny right?? i think its funny,,, like kpop repellent,, but also i Get it!!! its not for u its ok dont take this social media thing so seriously... its fine i do it all the time too, dont feel guilty over blocking or unfollowing someone - do it as soon as you feel uncomfy tbh its a safe place for u make it ur safe spot!!

But!! Yeah!! 💓❤️💓 Idol things, thoughts? 💓❤️💓 

And this is not related but I was looking at old questions/asks in my inbox (some that ive alrdy answered but its still there -- like 6 asks? so thats... 6 out of the current 122 asks oof) and people are So Nice and So Polite to me!!!! amazing!!! fortunate!!!! One lucky bitch!!!!! Thats me!!!! Im the lucky bitch, who?? people are just so courteous towards when they request or asks for something?? wow---

Its only like, half way in the middle of my old asks that I realize once its more mainstream astro ppl start sending asks in like im google search... rip anyone who does that i deleted the ask bc i have a faq.. my only rule is that be nice.. not playing by the rules!!!!! 

Its also a little introspective to think about it now.. how back then when I didn’t realize it was happening I carried through and answered them anyways bc like... atleast people were asking?? they’re curious?? right?? keep the public fed! there’s people out there who does enjoy my actual answer than the ask itself...but like... now that i’m back and Refreshen: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted. I’ll quote this and put it up before the read more so thats the main meat of this long rant!! 💓❤️💓

basically what im saying about all this is: don’t let people treat you that way, or anyway you don’t feel absolutely positively happy about. I’m still keeping some asks that I do want to answer/I think can be turned into great points. But marie-kondo yourself, you don’t deserve to be treated like someone’s encyclopedia, dictionary or google!!!!!

they don’t really care, and it doesn’t really matter if you answer or not -- bc they can just type in the same thing to other astrologer out there and mayb someone will hit it and answer for them. So!!!! dont compromise, delete anything that doesn’t treat u like human. Bc u’re not a bot!!!! Do better!!! This is from future nita to past nita!!! Do better!!! This is why u burnt out and went awol for like a month!!!!!!!! Dont let this happen again or get into the habit, cry to ur friends!!! Ask ur beta for help!!!!!!! Add some people in as ur admin so they can clearly tell u what is right and whats wrong!!!!! dummie you’re too soft and kind!!!!! stop making excuses for others!!!!!!! do better in 2020!!!!!

So this is my rambling over!!! Answered 42 asks in my queue, know that around 30 of them have already been posted. That’s 72 done today!! Not to mention the 30 yesterday -- I was v dumb and didn’t close the ask box, thus I had +10 asks in my inbox today but its ok!!!!!!! Let the people Speak!!!! I’ll post this PSA now and go I hope u enjoy hearing from me even if I’m just rambling -- love u!! take care of urself!!! i hope this helps or entertain anyone who’s looking to know me better or hear some words from me personally!!!! this is me, signing out!!! 

[szopenhauer]

How was your day?: it wasn’t good.

Would you ever try to count to 5,000 for $5,000?: I’d try

When is the last time you took a picture of yourself?: last days

When did you last take a shower?: I’m going to take a bath soon

What song are you listening to?: The Weeknd - Blinding Lights

Last sentence you said aloud?: not sure what was last

What is the point of scented pens/pencils/erasers? ppl like to smell stuff I guess Do you buy/wear band-aids with cartoon characters on them? they’re usually not sticking well enough  What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? meh, they could spend those money better by helping ppl, nobody needs such a big house - president or not, we’re not in medieval times and guards would have less to do 

Do you buy and wear crazy looking socks? I would like to Would you run down the street wearing a tutu, fishnets, & flippers? topless? for how much tho  Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? nope

Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? yes, I loved it so much, I miss it Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? on my wall and furniture, I still have some left Does your house have an attic? it does Have you ever gone white-water rafting? no and don’t want to Does your grandma wear an apron when she cooks? she did How often do you need “me” time? all the time? :x Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? sometimes, a little bit Have you ever gotten stuck in a revolving door? I haven’t What animal do you most resemble while eating? dunno but it reminds me of that yt video - how animals eat their food lmfao Would you play Jumanji, if given the chance? someone already plays it this year

Do you text/call while going to the bathroom?  I might but prefer not to Do you always make sure your cell phone is charged before going somewhere? and powerbank too Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? only once, I got Eeyore that I still own Have you ever seen your parents cry?  of course

Do you often shift blame towards others? usually it’s other way around? Do you ever feel like you’re smarter than your boss? I don’t have a job Your very first best friend: Is he/she STILL your best friend? not counting my family - no Have you ever witnessed a crime? minor What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I saw a bunch :D Do you write grey or gray? grey, it doesn’t have 50 shades

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title? I don’t add titles as you can see, that’s stupid

When are you going back to school? never?

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke? my jokes are so bad that they’re good if you know what I mean ;)

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends? few close

Do you watch the TV Show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character? fragments

Can you get a strike at bowling? I never tried bowling but would like to

Do you swallow chewing gum? wtf

Were you into the Beanie Baby craze? nah Would you ever wish to ride a dolphin? nope, I’m not fond of dolphins Do you ever watch the news just for the weather forecast? my parents did and that was dumb, I don’t like/believe in weather forecats If your remote was missing, where is the most likely place you’d find it? in dad’s stuff Ever considered the thought that kangaroos technically have fanny packs? hehe

When was the last time you blew bubbles? not that long time ago from what I remember Did the last doctor’s office you were in have a crappy magazine selection? it did indeed  Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? bakery only The last ball you threw was a… (baseball, basketball, etc.) childish ball for my niece Have you seen how much candidates for president are willing to spend for their campaign? it’s insane  Have you ever caught a friend snooping in your room? I have and that’s why I am afraid of leaving ppl alone in my room  Quick! Name the longest word starting with the letter ‘J’ you can think of: jurisdiction was the first that came to my mind  Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? no longer but not because of e-mail’s existence

Have you ever taken a survey with a friend, listing both answers?: I tagged my friends in the past 

Do you know a guy who has hair longer than yours?: not currently

What color was the last cup you drank out of?: it’s a llama mug (minty color)

If you’re in school, what do you do to fill in time between classes?: there was never enough time for me

Where was the last place you got lost?: mall or park

When was the last time you had cheesecake?: this year

When you last shed tears, was it because of a person?: partially

Other than yours, whose house did you last fall asleep at?: John and P

Have you ever had a significant other whose parents didn’t like you?: looks like it

What’s so unique about your computer?: what’s on it - pictures/memes/documents

What’s one thing you have never done? I didn’t do lots of stuff and don’t want to many of them actually

What is one trend you wish you have been a part of? I’m not into trends in general

Do you enjoy reading fanfictions? About who? Or do you write fanfictions, too? nah

What is something you own that you wish was in your favorite color? it’s not that important

Is there someone from your past that you wish you had dated? used to think that way, no longer

Can you snap with both your hands? If not, which hand can you snap with? both but not every single time

Do you like cosplays? I tried cosplays but it’s not for me and I’m a bit traumatised by it due to experiences from the past, they remind me of someone and not only so I prefer not to follow/look at those related to anime mostly

If you were to participate in one, what/who would you dress up as? I’d dress up as characters I relate to

Do you sometimes answer surveys with “Idk”/“Idr” because you’re too lazy? I just realized that I don’t, wow, I used to do that all the damn time

Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? am not

Have you ever acted like a bitch and used PMS as an excuse? I don’t use PMS nor period as an excuse as it’s actually a stereotype and shouldn’t be an argument besides painful/uncomfy/annoying physical sensations and being unable to do some stuff due to that fact 

Do you know someone who brushes their teeth in the shower all the time? *shrug*

Have you ever tried doing that? Did you like it? Why or why not? tried and it’s not that good

Are you patient when it comes to instructing others? I’m not, sorry...

Do you listen to Panic At The Disco? nah

Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular.: I like many bands/artists that seem not very popular

Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)?: can’t :(

Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to?: we had to give away

You can read minds; Whose mind do you snoop around in first?: hmm...

Do you ever talk to inanimate objects?: stuffed animals, kettle and fridge 

Have you ever tried to fold a piece of paper more than 7 times?: possibly

Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; Do you give them one of your’s?: oh my...

Your brother breaks into your house; Do you press charges?: ... ghost?

Would you rather have a huge cat or a tiny dog?: tiny dog <3

Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying?: do I?

Are you afraid to ask for help when you know that you need it?: depends

Should adopted kids be allowed to find their birth parents if they want to?: I guess

You’re writing a novel; Is it horror, mystery, romance, etc.?: sci-fi/fantasy

Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? would say so

Does your name begin with a B, L, R, or T?: Z

Could you go a day without texting?: but she couldn’t and we don’t want to

Do you have a step-parent?: I don’t

If so, do you get along with them?: -

Do you have any nieces or nephews?: one

Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform?: one of jobs that I had

Who is your 23rd phone contact and how do you know them?: I don’t have this many

If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say?: try me

Where is your dad right now?: sleeping 

Are there any writing utensils close to you? several

Look up, what do you see? ceiling

Do you have a bigger upper or lower lip? lower

Do you have any screen names with spelling errors? luckily not

Open the nearest drawer and tell me what’s inside it: I know it’s empty, don’t have to open it

How many other rooms can you currently see into? my door is closed

Do you need to take the trash out? already done

Do you need to clean out a litter box right now? we don’t have a cat anymore

Are these questions reminding you of things you put off to do this survey? nah

How many days have you been wearing those clothes? 1

Do you like listening to 60’s music? some songs

Can you move your nose? many ways

Can you wiggle your ears? my dad can

How many songs have you downloaded this week? I don’t download songs

Would you rather be a pirate or robot? robot, can’t robot be a pirate tho?

Would you rather be a ghost or a zombie? ghost 

Have you ever considered living in a bomb shelter? I’d be scared to live underground

If I gave you a piano and told you hit middle c, could you? nooo

do you think it’s weird for someone to have never tried soda?   not really

which floor of your house/building are you on now? there’s basement under me and attic above me

would you ride a motorcycle if given the chance? (or have you?) I would, haven’t yet

what are your thoughts on reincarnation? (have you ever read up about it?) it’s possible

does your home have a balcony/deck/porch? balcony

how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? anxious

do you have an interesting passport? I don’t have a passport

what happens to your old clothes? I donate them, give them to ppl I know, reuse them, sell them etc.

who supports you financially? my parents 

if you wanted to go to the movie cinema, how would you get there? walking then by bus then walk again

have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend or a friend’s sibling? minor

do you know much about feng shui? (do you use it?) not much, I don’t use it

what’s your favorite spot to read? librocubicularist

did you know that buddha is not considered a god to buddhists? ok

do you save tickets from movies, etc.?   saved some

without looking him up, who was jim morrison? vocalist

do you have a nervous habit? several

would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? nah

[tellywoodtrash]

bepannaah 19.03.18 lb

right. let’s do this. entertain me, ridiculously good looking ppl.

oh fuck what, is this a one hour show? please tell me it’s just for the first ep, coz i’ve already lost interest if this is a one hour daily. i don’t have the strength to keep up with this kinda bs.

god, it’s unfair how pretty this girl is. honestly.

seems like has god has compensated by giving her a real besuraaa voice tho. bb girl, pls stop.

oh god she’s one of those ‘aaaap’ and ‘hum’ ppl.

also weirdly codependent on her husband for weird shit like remembering song lyrics? ok???????

what exactly is this hot mess that she’s making???? somewhere in an alt universe, omkara singh oberoi’s chest hurts from the violation of “art” that’s happening here.

lel “hum aapka jhoot hamesha pakad lete hai” foreshadowingggggggg

hubba hubba who this mancakeeeee. chehra dikhaa jaanemann!

haaaaaaaaaaye his puppy eyes. such cyooot.

hmmmmmm this one’s wife is sick of playing mom to him within 3 minutes of show starting.

… is she not wearing a blouse????

ok no i see flashes of it.

lmao this pettyass child, threatening to go to a different continent, just so he can get chain ki neend.

why is she in such a panicccccc coz she can’t find yash??? aadmi hai, billi toh nahi, jo darwaaza khula chod diya toh kho jaayega.

god what a motley crew of nonsense naukar??

ok fwding this stupid comedy bit about her “art”

lo aa gaaya gareebon ka varun dhawan.

actually he looks like lovechild of varun dhawan and vatsal sheth. and naman shaw. (remember him???) or something.

here this actual man child is still sulking. now over toothpaste or some shit.

wow his mom just sauntered right into the loo. like, do ppl in tellywood just not have any issues with walking into the loo when someone else is there or what? i’d scream the fucking house down.

great he forgot her bday. idiot.

oh he’s arnav singh raizada type - making a habit of forgetting every year. baaad husband! bad!

the dubbing of this ep is realllly off and it’s bothering me.

he filmyyyy. lol. i like.

ooooooh. diaryyyyyyyyy. this is gonna come in play laterrrrrrr.

“bachpan se teri diary dekhta aa raha hoon”

oh ho, they’re bachpan ke saathi and all that. interesting.

damn girl, loook guiltierrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

also, writing your secrets in a diary is the dumbest shit ever? like, why would you leave a paper trail, so easy to access? its 2018, put it on a private blog or some shit.

ok he didn’t read it. but he’s gonna. you just wait, he gonna read that thing before her body goes cold.

pooja is a scorpio forsho. hella relate to her secretive, none-of-your-damn-business ways.

oh greatttttttttt, he’s another omkara singh oberoi with the whole I HATE LIES bs

god, this woman is still hung up on her bhaddaaaa sa sculpture thing.

lol her hubs is like plz, no more. lord give the spouses of “artists” patience, coz honestly, they’re tiresome af.

he’s also an aap hum dude. i think i like aditya’s way of talking better.

yeah that i love you of his rang realllllllllllll hollow.

oh ho ho. zoya here is stealing tricks from the shivaay singh oberoi book of romance, holi chapter.

“zoya mere kapde gande ho jayenge.” “toh phir utaar dijiyega.”

OH SNAAAAAAAAAAAAP I LIKEEEEEEEEEE.

damn, she just insinuated getting dirrrrrty and then cleaning up together later.

YEAH GIRL. BE SEX POSITIVE AND TAP THAT BOOTY.

i mean, i’d rather you tap that other one’s fine booty, but abhi ke liye yeh bhi chalega.

smartphones are a curse upon modern day relationships.

… bro you’re indian. you don’t get dubai visa that easily in spur of moment. you gotta apply for that shit in advance. go to qatar. visa on arrival for indians these days.

oh that was HER mom, not his???? that makes the bathroom intrusion even weirder and creepier. like damn saasumaa, boundaries.

LMAO HE CUTE AF

oh ho, hint of financial issues. he borrows money from her? she’s the richer one? interestinggggg.

she’s an artist too? what exhibition???

god he’s sooooooooo cute. also their little head tilt thing was adorbs. i def like these two as a couple better.

why is she so uncomfortableeeee with him? this is not the face you make when a husband this hot is attempting to feel ya up. girl you shady affff.

yuppppppp she def has some resentment at him not growing tf up.

ooooooooh "mujhse zyaada tumhe koi pyaar nahi karega!!!!" and all. and pooja seems hella uncomfy. which is fair. these kinda statements are really not as romantic as they’re supposed to seem. they’re more a statement of ownership than love.

at this point i gotta say, i relate with pooja the most in this show so far, and i’m hella sad she gonna be dead soon.

zoya, i get your disappointment and all, but you clingy and whinyyyy af girl.

why is he shaving out in the open? do you ppl not have a bathroom?

gareebon ka varun dhawan thinks being a good husband is listening to wife complain about the naukar. cool. cool cool cool. i hate brown dudes.

gift!

damn girl, calm down. it’s a ring. not cash. i always prefer cash.

oh ho wrong size. pooja size? huhuhuhuhu.

LMAO HE’S SO UNCOMFORTABLE. YOU SHADY FUCK.

damn adi-pooja’s house is huuuuge af. like, they’re not oberoi rich, but definitely hellla fucking rich.

omnious kadamon ka sound. tension-inducing elderly male figure is making entry. is he dad or sasur????

oh this guy. shahid kapoor ka ex step-dad.

dad has Opinions™ on the commute issues of younger couple.

ok mr. hooda. HIS dad.

also, wow. another omkara callback. daddy issues and calling father mr. [surname]

wow, i clearly have “a type” when it comes to tellywood dudes, don’t i????

his mom looks just about as young as his wife, the fuck. like, at most she looks 5 years older than him.

aaaand gareebon ka varun dhawan is offffffff. never to be seen alive again, i presume.

god she clingyyyyyyy af. i don’t really like her character so far.

mmmmm hmmmmmm. love me a man in uniform.

ok he seems to be treating the plane’s PA system like some kinda radio station for himself. nope.

yeah, these fake flying scenes are weird and corny af. fwding.

ok he’s gonna go to mussoorie. because Reasons.

love zoya’s mom for promoting healthy body image. you go mom. i like you.

dad has judgy face af.

lol dadddddd hates yash and thinks he stoopid.

“aapki subhaanAllah pottery.” snort.

lol, i like the sister. she’s so fucking done with her dad’s 5 saal puraana dukhda. get over it already, dad.

dad says issue is not communal. meaning he really knows that yash is shadyyyyyyyy af.

LMAO MAN WHY AND HOW ARE DESI DADS SUCH FUCKING EXPERTS AT DESTROYING YOU WITH THE FEWEST WORDS POSSIBLE

hmmmm hint of some financial issues here also.

damn, the dad really hates yash. what does he know about him that we don’t!?!?!?! SPILL ABBU! SPILL!

ok yup the siddiquis are rich af. driver badi gaadi and all.

oooooh serendipitous meeting time.

the push up level on her bra is kinda ridic. her boobs are practically up in her nostrils.

does every art shop in the world have this obligatory 3D buddha thingy or what????

ok what is this 5 minute waste on them wandering this fucking shop fwd fwd fwd 

oh it’s pooja’s favt song too?

aaaaaaand they both picked it up.

damn boy. you married. stop giving random hottie in the local archies’ heart eyes.

lmaoooooo pack kar dijiye plz and resulting apology.

snort us par in janaaab ka bhi moohtod jawab.

lel. beautiful idiots.

lmao i appreciate his efforts.

“yeh bus ki seat hai kya jispe rumaal phenk di toh seat aapki?” “dekhiye, hum bus mein travel hi nahi karte, toh humein kaise pata hoga???”

lolololol. what logic.

arre waaaaaah. valiant effort by aditya, but zoya knows charlie uncle (and whoever jenny is) and has capitalized on that.

LMAO I LOVE HE’S SPEAKING TO CHARLIE UNCLE AS IF HE KNOWS HIM SINCE FOREVER.

damnnnnnnnn the sexual tension.

LOLOLOL WHICH IS NOW JUST REGULAR TENSION COZ HE THREW MONEY AT HER AND TOOK OFF WITH THE THING. CHOR KAHINKA.

they’re legit running all over the damn city. lord above.

what stamina these two have. jfc.

lol urdu lesson in the middle of conflict.

what’s with gulaal phenking?

oh, just distraction technique.

oh no. phone call time. oh no oh no oh no. didn’t think it would come within this ep itself.

oh yikes car ki kaaafi buriiiiiiii haaalat.

ok fuck anything else, look at this man’s cheekbones. they can cut glass. how unfair. i want. both the man and his cheekbones.

also, this guy has zero questions on why she’s being found dead in mussoorie when she said she was going to chennai? two completely different directions my man. thought you were a pilot and supposed to know where the cities are????

oh shit, gareebon ka varun dhawan DEDDDDDDDDDD.

i mean, i knew it was coming, idk why i’m so shocked.

WHY LORD WHY IS POOJA DEAD TOO? I LIKED HER THE BEST SO FARRRRRRRRR.

aaah man, their grief is hard to watch.

aaaaaaaand

lel his instant face change like BITCH WHAT WERE YOU UP TOOOOOOOO

damn aditya, you reaaaaaaaaallll quick. you just went from shock to anger stage of grief in like under 10 seconds.

even zoya be like what this dude’s deal????? at first, and then she noticed the handssssssss.

ah man my heart is breaking for her. she seems so shockeddddd and brokennnn.

notice contrast in emotions and expressions:

ok BIGGEST QUESTION: how are yash/pooja are still holding hands? like, the car fell into the khaaai, and they most probably died on impact. how the fuck did you extract bodies out of the car like THAT? (or were they pulled out alive and then held hands and proceeded to die?) EXPLAIN TO ME, SHOW. 10 points, show your work. 

oh fuck lots happening in the next ep too, from slapping to angsty grabbing to almost killing to life saving. damn. is this really a one hour show daily????? dude imma be fucking exhausted.

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

yO i was abt to write to you abt the new modc ep (what's going on with the weird cuts at the beginning jcbjfbjb im crying) but i saw your post so!!!! tell me abt your dream bro i wanna hear abt it!!!!!! -✨

OH I HAVENT SEEN IT YET RIGHT I FORGOT IT CAME OUT TODAY!!! Let me watch it then we can talk abt it !!

And well my dream is pp long so bear w me 😔 i don't have the 'read more' function on mobile so i apologise in advance for everyone who comes across this !! I'll edit the 'read more' into it when I can 😊 ( i hav edited it hehehehe )

SO . actually there are several parts to this dream and I woke up between the first two parts but ... YEA.

At first I was home but a cat had gotten inside my house, I already had two cats ( my current cat and the one that will have died one year ago exactly tomorrow... yes five days after my birthday december is a cursed month for me. but if u wanna know abt him just search 'tchoupi' on my blog ) and I don't think my girl was okay w that new cat ? also new cat looked wonky sjhsjsh ? I wasn't sure abt its behaviour bc it seemed like it cld get irritated fast. In the end my mother told me to throw it out so I did against my will but when I saw it walk away... it had a missing leg.... I was like oh shit dude no come back... so I went and opened the front door and it came back running !!! I couldn't leave it like that w/o food if it already was incapacitated in a way. so that was my new cat. everything ends well ( I'm pp sure I forgot a part of that part but it's not the one I'm interested in )

SECOND PART... THE CÅSTLË. i was in a castle that was more medieval than renaissance styled or whatever the fuck i didnt study architecture but yes this. it had a courtyard with a fountain and that courtyard had a beautiful view on The Unknown ( aka fields and forests and stuff yknow just. The view ) but there were also bridges ( not the rock kind the "we use it in movies to make a character dramatically fall after the villain cut the rope" kind ) and little paths to go to The Unknown. there was a built-in church ( not a christian but i guess that was a smart choice given most attendees were fire emblem characters and they were definitely christians ) and also stables i guess ? but the front stables were empty and i didn't get to see the actual stables. the front stables had a pathway going around them ( there was a front stable on the left and on the right, with the courtyard being a little pushed back ? like if you left the end of the stable pathway you were already past the courtyard )

so now picture all ot this but suddenly the sky is super dark and everything is grim and gloomy. like a typical halloween movie. everything that was neat feels now worn out and the pathways are definitely scary, nobody wants to go there !

i was looking for my friends ( aka mercedes from fire emblem three houses ) but somehow couldn't find them, a fight broke out between ingrid and annette ( also fire emblem three houses ) and i don't like rich horse girls nor do i like racists so i was about to beat ingrid's ass. this big dude comes in and threatens me so i scold him and he and ingrid both go away. i win. i talk to more people but they're all acting weird except annette i guess. whatever weirdos i'm out

next i keep looking, but now i'm not alone - i'm not sure of whether it's a real presence or just a spirit until the end of this sequence where this boy tells me where to go and what to do to fix things a little, so i go into both stable pathways and end up being possessed twice ( demonic possession isn't as bad as they tell you i turned out fine ) so when the boy tells me where to go next i'm like "are we getting possessed a third time ?" he chuckles. ( i am gay so that was cute )

but we don't get any time to do that third thing ! we get out of the pathways and everyone is planning to go fight whatever is beyond The Unknown ! i look at the boy and awake me now pictures him as kraam from the stranded. cool i have a nice partner in crime i'm okay with that. the others leave, there's a lot of them but a second group is getting ready ! so kraam-but-not-quite grabs my arm firmly but like he doesn't hurt me or anything and we start going into The Unknown as well. im like hey wtf do we do now. and he tells me oh these two groups are going mad that couldn't be us let's go find the stray kids ( awake me now realises this is ~cringe~ but dream me was like whoa a solitary group of ppl who fight bigger evils ! BC YES THAT WAS WHAT SKZ WERE DOING IN THIS DREAM but i never met them ) so we can join forces w them and defeat these ppl. i look back. i see the second group from afar bc they have torches. im like wow this is like beauty and the beast.

something happens, idk what, but kraam starts running ! i'm a slow runner so i thought oh fuck not again but i ran after him anyway, the next bit is us running through a sort of jungle ( the sky is clear again ) and like its CRAZY i fucking loved that bit bc WOO ADVENTURE !! ( im a sagittarius )

then we slip between two trees' leaves and end up in a facility. we keep running bc if we stay there We Will Die. suddenly i am slowed down ( which leads me to believe before that he was holding my wrist but released my wrist when he slipped between the trees ) but he checks on me which i appreciate because that means he would rather die with me than survive without me, romance luv

his father ! the bastard. tries to kiss me in front of his mother. im like lmao dude thats disgusting die n go to catholic hell. i push him away and tell him off, he gets pissed but i cant go look for kraam bc his brothers r telling me abt how we're gonna go on a road trip. im like ? the world is abt to end tho ? but apparently my dream rly wanted a drama plot so fine.

his brothers have, allegedly, caught on to an alleged potential relationship between us. no im not gonna complain abt it im lonely and sad and gay so my dream fills in for me. theyre talking abt how theres not enough room for all of us in the van unless i sit on kraam for the trip but they ( specifically the one brother who oddly reminds me of dbk rain ) somehow make it into a sexual joke ? being me tho i didnt get it KSBSKDH... they were like talking abt legs ?? i remember it was abt how it wouldnt work with smth with four legs 'unless i could go with three' and like i dont even know what the hell that was supposed to mean we're talking abt a van not a horse ygwim ?

idk if i woke up after that but my brain did picture both me complaining to kraam abt his dad doing that and him getting quietly angry and just telling me to not come close to him again just in case hed try it again AND the beginning of the 'road trip' where i was indeed using kraam as a seat. and i was sleeping bc idk maybe i was tired from the running ! i hope my next dream is the continuation bc boy that was a whole drama episode

also i gave up and started calling him just kraam but it wasnt kraam ofc he just had kraams face from what i remember ! but he wasnt kraam at all

[koishikomeijiofficial]

im p sure ive developed an underlying fear of groups/communities now

specifically RP groups, but its extended to where im now terrified to join any kind of community

first there was the old vocaloid rp group rejectrp which was great and fine for a long time, but when they decided to switch to dA’s new at the time group format versus a dA account, they told all of us that we had to reapply (bullshit, imo) and that after reapplication we couldnt use our old rp accounts anymore we had to create new ones (DOUBLE bullshit) so i ended up breaking off from there as did many other members

that rp is where i met a lot of people, some friends and some awful people, such as someone who i’ll refer to as P, who would occasionally ‘remind’ me that ‘youre one of my closest friends if it werent for you id have killed myself’ and other such guilt slinging manipulative shit. it got to the point where one time i made a tumblr post asking ppl to tag nsfw and p messaged me on skype whining about how “i guess you’ll have to unfollow me then because i’m not tagging shit” even funnier since i never actually followed them in the first place. when i told them i had enough and blocked them they started texting me, telling me i ‘blew up for no reason’, and when i blocked them everywhere they manipulated a friend into trying to talk to me for them and then cleared half their dA gallery, posting a journal that said “you made me do this you know who you are” so yeah

i think one of the biggest factors in this was a DR rp group. it went fine for a bit but before the main story even started the mods shut down the group, saying something like school would make them too busy and for some reason they didnt account for school??????? yikes. i suggested in the chat that the remaining members should make our own group and we did, mostly a skype group chat and a chatzy room. i made it very clear to everyone that i would not be stalking the chat and if anyone needed me they could ping me by mentioning my name or the name of any of my characters. everyone knew this. everyone agreed to this. they started making google docs/charts for things and i went and added my characters but soon i discovered that they were actively being removed from the docs. i brought this up, saying i felt like they were excluding me, and they had the gall to say “well you’re never here so” and i had to bring up yet again that they AGREED to me saying if they needed me they should ping me because wow, unlike yall, i dont spend literally all day staring at a skype window and replying to every single thing yall say at 5674685798 messages per second! i angrily left the group and a few members attempted to tell me i was wrong, i wasnt being excluded (then what the fuck is going on with someone actively removing my characters from the docs??? the fuck is that????) and the self-proclaimed leader of the new group also mysteriously had nothing to say to me or about the issue at all. fuck those guys. i hope that at least one of them sees this post, reads this, and remembers how shitty they were to me. (not to mention it was honestly uncomfortable that a lot of the members got pretty sexual w each others characters and it was. very uncomfy)

i joined another DR group at some point which also shut down before it even started. i was absolutely livid; i’d already sat thru this shit once and i was angry that the same thing happened, and i wasnt about to let it devolve into the shitstorm that had occurred with the other group. i simply left a last, angry message on my character’s blog and never looked back. (i do follow at least one person from that group tho, they dont post often but their art is Perfect)

i also used to run dA’s first MMD group (using the group format at least, which was new at the time) and boy did it get hectic. every time i got mods to help me they did work for maybe 2 days and then never did anything, one such admin would be rude and horrible to people who broke the rules (which in a repeat offenders case might be needed but she was cursing out ppl who were like 11) and occasionally i’d post a journal saying submissions were down for a weekend for group cleaning, may people tried to submit anyway and i even got one profilic (at the time) animator who bitched and moaned about how “if i cant submit here where am i supposed to go” despite being told that the cleaning only lasted for TWO DAYS and that they could submit after the cleaning was over

and in a certain mmd group’s monthly contest back from when i was a mod there, some racist shit came up SPOKEN BY THE MODS TO THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT UP THE CONCERNS (the contest theme that month was a western theme and one of the ‘inspiration’ pictures was a white-ass chick in stereotypical ‘haha look at me im wearing le indian clothes and a headdress X3′ outfits and people who are actually native brought up this concern, and the other mods basically told them to shut up with one even unironically saying “yeah im like 1/354764586456547458th native so i’m a dutch girl who can do whatever i want”) and when i tried to explain to them why their racist shit wasn’t okay i was told to be silent, so i quit

so yeah i think maybe all my shitty group experiences have made me absolutely terrified of groups in general. maybe that’s why i’m so afraid to join the local lolita community