#and its not like we usually get relief at 11 so I didn't want to risk it so I just told the charge I was going home after

[llycaons]

girl why am I going to work...

[drvscarlett]

About You Pt 11

Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader

Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.

About You Series

A/N: well, well, well.... anyone wants a drink? let me know your thoughts (and prayers) for this one

Taglist: @spideybv28@randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @cliosunshine @honethatty12 @randomgirlnumber-13 @sugyomama @ririyulife @skywalker1dream @vicurious28 @khaylin27 @0710khj @its-elias-world @vizzzashley @allisonwoods @taytaylala12 @miarabanana @ceciii-b @lindsayjoy444 @mploopssek @snakelore @toldyouitwasamelodrama @lordpercevalcharles

2013, Shanghai International Circuit

Everyone is staring at Sebastian.

It wasn't uncommon for Sebastian to be stared upon when he enters the track. He was the reigning champion so he has been used being the center of attention. He has been looked at by people before but this time it feels very different. A hint of judgement and anger was communicated by their gazes so if looks could kill then he would be seven feet under the ground now.

"It has been two weeks, why are people not getting over it"Sebastian grumbles.

Britta, who was walking alongside him, shakes her head. Sebastian seems to forget about the fighting words that he stated in an interview not so long ago.

"They felt like you are being arrogant with the whole I don't apologize for winning statement Seb"Britta reminded.

His bad, Sebastian admits.

Maybe its a mix of pride and ego that's why he callously stated those words. But Sebastian stands firm on that because he had a chance and he simply seized it. If he was born to concede then maybe he should look for other careers instead of being a Formula 1 driver.

"You have to be in a good mood today" Britta states "You have some interviews and conferences lined up"

"Who's on it?"

"You are partnered with Bianchi, Ricciardo, Bottas, and Alonso"

It was far from his usual pairings of his grid friends. Sebastian thinks Britta has a hand on this in order to lessen the fanfare. And besides, Alonso has his fair shares of controversy, surely he would understand

A slight scoff from a passerby brought him out of his thoughts. The stranger bumped him with no apologies or whatsoever as they only glared at him.

"Rude"

Sebastian could feel more muttering of the people as he gets closer to the media room. He puts up a brave face like he doesn't hear them but he will be lying to say if they didn't hurt. He felt truly wronged being portrayed as someone villainous when he is just doing his job.

The only thing that Sebastian is looking forward to is talking to Y/N.

With all the chaos, he has a sense of relief that Y/N understands. She was the first person who talked to her after everything that happened. She had understood the why and the whole situation. It brought him some sort of comfort that there is someone by his side.

Sebastian was craning his head all around the paddock to look for the girl, she must be here somewhere. He also tried looking for Jenson as they are often paired together but he had no luck with the McLaren driver as well.

And then he finds her busy with her laptop talking with Jenson. Sebastian made a beeline to the duo despite the protest of Britta.

"Y/N, I tried picking you up a while ago but then your hotel-"Sebastian explained.

"Seb"she was looking side by side as if afraid to be caught talking to him "We have to speak later"

"What's going on?"

"We have to go"Jenson excused.

There was a strained smile on both of their faces. They hurriedly exited the room which made Sebastian frown.

Did he say something wrong? Why are they acting weird?

"I heard some rumors about that"Britta piped in "They say that after the whole fiasco last time, McLaren is not allowing interactions between you, Mark, and Y/N"

That's the most bullshit that Sebastian heard. He could have handled the stares and the murmurings but this was his breaking point.

"This is so unfair. What does my fight with Mark have to do with them"

"Bad press, you know how Jenson is still recovering from his bad public opinion"Britta sighs.

But this is still unfair. The expression cannot be removed from the German driver's face. He felt like the anger that he has been trying to keep at bay is ready to burst out.

"Don't worry, this may be only temporary till things die down"Britta assures.

But those words fall on deaf ears. Sebastian has already made up his mind that if they truly want a villain then a villain they would get from this whole fiasco.

2013, Bahrain International Circuit

"Can we talk?"

This feels like a common occurrence between the two Webber siblings. Frankly, Y/N is a bit tired because she knows that this may lead to another argument again.

"I'm busy and I'm under strict orders not to talk to any of you"Y/N brushes off.

He knows that. Jenson had sent him a text that they are refrained from speaking to them publicly. This is why Mark waited until the end of the race where everyone is packing up and busy to talk to her.

"Please Y/N"Mark held on her wrist "I am just extremely worried about you"

There was a concern evident on his eyes. For Y/N, she truly missed that from her brother. How long have she longed for the hate and the irritation to disappear from his eyes. She felt like she could cry on the spot.

"I'm okay Mark"she assures.

"Are you really? Is McLaren keeping the media away? Aren't you getting bombarded? Are they treating you okay?"Mark's rapid question started.

He had been stupid for so long to allow his track rivalry to ruin his relationship with his sister. He made up his mind when he saw how she have been crowded by reporters that he would try to be better. He would try his best to earn her forgiveness and to stay by her side no matter what.

"I'm okay, you don't have to worry"she replies.

But it has been a difficult few weeks for Y/N. She felt very alone and very restricted with her moves around during the weekend. She felt watched by McLaren team for a single wrong move. She was afraid to be kicked out and be left out of the only world she knew.

"I know we have our differences but you have me by your side"Mark pulled her in a hug.

And this is where the waterworks started. It has been a long while since the siblings embraced each other. With all the drama and the stress that they shared the past few years, this brings a different kind of comfort.

"I'm really sorry when I said awful things to you Mark"

"No apologies, you were just hurt"Mark soothes "I should be the one apologizing for pushing you away and being a shit brother"

They were away from the eyes of the public but little did they know they have been spotted by someone else. Sebastian could only turn away with a hurt feeling thinking that Y/N choose a side in this rivalry and it was not by his side.

The necklace that hangs on his neck feels heavy. He quickly unclasped it and he holds it tightly in his hands. It was a reminder of Y/N and her support, now it seems to be mocking him.

Sebastian quickly left without making his presence known. The necklace tossed somewhere that he can't quite remember.

2013, Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya

"I think Seb is mad at me" Y/N was worried.

It was a common practice that even if they are not allowed to see each other physically, they would message each other. However, ever since Bahrain, Sebastian was acting off and cold. It was seriously stressing Y/N out.

"Look at you all troubled"Jenson has the audacity to giggle at her misery "And you say you don't love him"

"Jenson, this is serious"

"You are soooooooo down bad"he teased.

"Why did I ever think that I'll get a decent advice from you"Y/N huffs.

She could have asked Nico or Lewis for help. Or even Michael and Corinna but here she was sitting in Jenson's hotel room and wondering for advices. She classifies this as a desperate situation which is why she is asking Jenson's opinion.

"Hey hey"Jenson sits closer "I'm your lad for this one, you can trust me to give you the other perspective so you can figure out what's wrong"

"So tell me what's wrong"

"Well usually when guys are acting like that then maybe they simply want your affection or your attention to dote on them."Jenson explains.

Y/N furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

"Doesn't he get a lot of attention from the media and everything?"

It caused Jenson to laugh. He had to remind himself to take it easy on Y/N because Sebastian is about to be the first relationship that the girl is entering in.

"That's a different kind of attention"Jenson states "Maybe Sebastian was just feeling very alone with everyone being against him and maybe he just needs a little extra TLC from you"

"I have always tried to make him feel like I support him"Y/N notes.

"Yeah but maybe you can do something like making him letters or maybe a cheer up basket. I'm pretty sure you could get some people to deliver them to him, it will really cheer him up"Jenson listed out.

Y/N reopens her phone and saw the text messages that she has sent. She tried cheering him up because he lost a podium for the first time this season. He hasn't replied yet or even looked at it.

"Hey cheer up, Sebastian is too in love with you to lose feelings for you"Jenson reminds "He had been in love with you for ages and it took him so long to tell you so I'm pretty sure that he won't simply leave you there"

"You really think so?"

"Oh I know so, you have no idea how Sebastian nearly pushed me off track because I was close to you"

"No, he did not!"

And in another part of town, the man of the hour is in a very crowded area. The flashing lights, the smell of smoke, and overflowing alcohol was not his typical scene. However, Sebastian felt like he needed this break from everything that has been happening since Malaysia.

"Another round of shots for the world champion"someone pushed an array of tequila in front of him.

He gave them a smile as he chugs them all down.

Now he knows why some drivers opt to have drink after a miserable weekend. It makes the pain less and his mind is free from any of those thoughts that he could have done better.

"Sebastian?"a voice called out "Oh my god, I can't believe its you"

His drunken state has clouded his vision. He only made sense that the voice was a female and it was awfully familiar to him.

"Youu can come zit wid me" words were already slurred.

"Sebastian, I'm really happy to see you! I have been looking for you this weekend but you seem occupied"

"Y/N?"Sebastian could only think of one person that would have looked at him this weekend.

"No, I'm not Y/N. I'm-"

Maybe its the club's loud music but Sebastian didn't hear it. He proceeded to get closer to her until he envelopes her in a hug. He felt at peace suddenly being with someone familiar in a place full of strangers.

"Y/N, I missed you so much"Sebastian murmurs.

It was the very first mistake that he has made that night. The second one was bringing the woman back to his hotel and to his bed.

[ssentimentals]

Another request here but with Carlos from hurt prompt no. 11 and no. 7 and ik its angst but can you give it a soft ending like the drabble is angst but ends at a soft note!!!!!! oh i am already excited for your works.....

f1 request, oh my god, here we go!! thank you sweets 💜 thank you for requesting and i hope you'll like it!

hurt prompt: 'did you really think you'd get a second chance?' 'that's not what i meant and you know it.'

carlos is always calm and collected, so when he lets his phone flying through the room only for it to end up hitting the bedpost, you know that he is angry. livid, even. and maybe, maybe it would've been wise of you to sit this one out, to not argue and make the situation worse. but it hurts, everything he said, every single word is like poison and you had too much. 'did you really think you'd get a second chance?' you hiss out, practically vibrating with frustration. 'after everything you said?'

carlos looks like he's one second away from screaming. his chest rises up and down along with his deep breaths and you can see how he physically holds himself back from raising his voice on you. 'my words,' he starts and then pauses, running his fingers through his hair. 'i just-'

'you want me gone?' you interrupt, clenching your hands into fists. part of you wants to cry out, but you're staying as strong as you can.

'that's not what i meant and you know it.' carlos grits out, looking at you sharply. his usually filled with love and adoration eyes are now staring at you with barely hidden anger. 'you didn't let me finish.'

'then tell me!' you shout, not being able to hold everything inside you anymore. 'tell me what you actually mean, carlos. c'mon, spill it out.'

fighting with carlos is horrible. you hate it, hate standing too far away from, hate this tremor that rocks your body, hate how even though you're angry there's nothing more you want right now than to be in his arms. you know this and carlos knows this too, judging by how his arms keep on flexing, reaching out to you and then backing down. 'i sometimes can't find the right words,' he starts, carefully measuring each word. 'and- i never want you gone. how do you even- tu eres mi vida, how could i possibly want you to be gone when you are my life?' he questions, totally perplexed. 'let's start there. i do not want you to go. ever.'

relief that washes over you makes your knees buckle dangerously. the way he looks at you - those big brown orbs are full of sadness due to fight but also full of love. always full of love when he looks at you even if you two are fighting. without saying a word, carlos takes one step and reaches out to you and frustration is still present in you, but nothing can beat the love that you feel for this man. of course you meet him in the middle and when his arms wrap around you, you feel like you're floating.

'i'm sorry,' carlos mutters into your head. 'please let's talk this out.'

you nod. 'i'm sorry too.'

and you are, truly. and when carlos caresses your back, murmuring gentle nothings into your ear, you know that you're in the right place, place where you belong.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[ilanorgratvol]

Rough tempest they will raise - Part 12

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

For the first time during their forced journey, Talia felt relief as if a huge boulder that had been pressing her to the ground, not allowing her to breathe freely, was removed from her shoulders. The curse was gradually leaving these lands, laughter and bird song were heard more often around. More often, the sun began to break through the clouds, warming those present with its warmth. Gale was recovering, thanks to Shadowheart and the regular dressings that Talia made with unnatural patience and focus.

The tieflings, having went through hell both literally and figuratively, were getting ready to set off. The road to Baldur’s Gate turned out to be more difficult and unpredictable than they initially expected, and they did not want to waste any more minutes. Talia went out to the gates to say goodbye to Rolan and his siblings.

“So, Talia, our brother told us about your friendly fight,” - Cal smirked, squinting his eyes, - “Though I think he might have seen it in a dream.”

Rolan raised an eyebrow, glancing at the sorceress. Trying to maintain the most serious face possible, she replied:

“Actually, your brother quite skillfully defeated me in that fight. A rare success for a wizard, I must say.” - She looked at Rolan, who nodded his head gratefully. Her own words seemed to make her ponder something for a second. - "Rolan, where did you get that robe?"

“This old thing?” - He passed his hands over the robe as if dusting it off, - “It’s all I have left from my father. Why do you ask?”

“You do know that this is a sorcerer’s robe, right?” - Talia carefully ran her fingers over the metal overlay covering almost the entire chest of the tiefling. It was battered, like the robe itself, but still shone under the emerging sun rays.

“Hard to tell. My father left us long before I could ask him about it. And judging by what my mother said afterwards, I wouldn’t be surprised if he stole it,” - Rolan clearly didn't enjoy this conversation. Cal and Lia exchanged anxious glances.

“Well…” - Talia smiled slightly, not removing her hand from his chest, - “Whatever the case, I would advise you to listen not only to your teacher and what is written in books but also to this.” - She nodded gently at his chest.

“I...” - The tiefling seemed a bit taken aback, - “I’ll try.”

“Find us when you get to the city.” - Lia approached and took Talia’s hand warmly, - “We could really use a friend who can finally shut this grumbler up.”

The sorceress smirked slightly and nodded to them as they finally set off, continuing to tease each other.

“Do you think encouraging such beliefs’s a good idea?” 

Talia turned around at the familiar voice. Gale stood slightly behind her, arms crossed over his chest. He was dressed in his usual brown trousers and a white shirt.

“Don’t doubt him,” - the sorceress frowned disapprovingly.

“Don't get me wrong, I don’t doubt his skills. Just his new teacher. In Waterdeep, they say Lorroakan is quite the cad; even worse as a teacher.”

The sorceress just shrugged: 

“Well… then we’ll have to doubly hope that Rolan listens to my advice. And speaking of new…” - Talia smirked mischievously, - “I have something for you.”

“New? In these lands?” - The wizard tilted his head, squinting slightly, - “I’m afraid the newest thing you can find in these lands is us. And I don’t want to bring up the issue of age, but…”

“Just follow me…” - Talia sighed slightly irritably and walked back to the entrance of the tavern. The wizard followed her with interest.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Talia was sitting casually on a chair, her legs thrown over the table. She methodically sliced pieces from an apple she was holding, putting them into her mouth directly from the knife.

“Are you quite certain I’ll look acceptable in this?” - came a hesitant voice from behind a dressing screen at the other end of the room.

“Anything's better than your old one,” - the sorceress glanced at the old purple robe, still covered with dried blood, carelessly thrown under the table.

“Fair enough,” - grunts and rustling of clothes continued from behind the screen, then the wizard finally emerged. He spread his arms to the sides, - “Are you sure about this?”

Talia, who had been focused on her apple, finally looked up. Gale was wearing a dark blue robe adorned with silver embroidery. Its shortened sleeves highlighted his arms, and a deep cut almost left nothing to the imagination, showing the upper part of his slightly hairy chest where the sphere rested.

The sorceress froze for a moment, staring at him unblinkingly, audibly swallowed a piece of apple, and almost squeaked in an unnaturally high voice:

“Yep.”

The wizard seemed unaware of this and continued to fidget, trying to adjust the collar of the robe and get used to the new feeling:

"I appreciate the finer things, but don't you think this is a bit much? Especially considering I've been on the battlefield more often than at receptions lately..."

"On the contrary," - the sorceress dismissed, - "In a few days we'll be in Baldur's Gate. And something tells me that your eloquence and appearance will be just as useful as the ability to incinerate a handful of goblins with a wave of your hand."

"I hope you're right. Imagine how foolish I'd look in battle wearing this, all covered in blood and sweat…" - the wizard continued adjusting his robe, paying no mind to the sorceress. She, in turn, was clearly absorbed in fantasies she had no intention of sharing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, the group finally reached the city. Even before they crossed the city gates, the bustling and active suburbs provided a welcome contrast to the desolate lands they had been traveling through for so long. Of course, the mood was somewhat dampened by the number of refugees fleeing from the army of the Absolute, which was slowly but surely advancing towards Baldur’s Gate. However, the solidarity, determination, and willingness to help each other somewhat warmed the companions' hearts and allowed them some respite. Karlach, not without effort, convinced Wyll and, surprisingly, Shadowheart, to visit the local circus; Astarion, Tav, and Halsin headed to the local brothel, eliciting disapproving looks and grumbling from the wizard about some people not knowing their limits; Talia had her expectations about Gale's attire confirmed when they encountered the disgruntled owner of a large estate who was unwilling to let refugees stay the night. Eventually, they managed to negotiate with him, and Talia believed that half of their success was due to the wizard's appearance. The other half was his eloquence, but the sorceress preferred not to dwell on that.

"Are you sure you didn't enchant this robe?" - Gale, not without a touch of smugness, smoothed the garment over himself while standing near the mansion. - "I must admit, it gives me a particular sense of confidence."

"It's called growing a pair, Waterdeep," - Talia smirked, beginning their usual banter - something they were both so used to that it seemed they had forgotten how to communicate differently.

"I assure you, there's nothing wrong with my manhood," - the wizard responded, raising a finger habitually. But realizing where the conversation was headed, he blushed slightly and added, - "Anatomically speaking, of course."

"I haven't had the pleasure of verifying that..." - the sorceress replied, distractedly looking into the crowd moving toward the city gates. A strange feeling, bordering on intuition or the premonition of something terrible, suddenly washed over her. She kept scanning the crowd, not fully understanding what had caught her attention. She turned to the wizard. He stood there, a corner of his mouth slightly curled into a smile, his eyes narrowed.

"Are you saying… what I think you're saying?" - He tilted his head slightly, accepting the unintentional challenge the sorceress had thrown.

"All I'm saying is, see you at the camp." - Talia lost focus completely and headed toward the market, waving at the wizard in farewell. - "Sorry, I just have to… just sorry." - She quickly blended into the crowd, leaving Gale alone.

Talia herself didn't fully understand where this oppressive feeling had come from, driving her feet forward through the market crowd. She turned her head from side to side, as if searching for something or someone, as if somewhere deep in her mind there was already the realization that something was ready to catch up with her, but she couldn't grasp it. A strange feeling, a tingling at the edge of perception, a stirring of the Weave inside her body, seemed to be drawing her toward something. She continued scanning the heads of the crowd when she suddenly saw what she had been looking for. 

At the corner of one of the buildings ahead stood a man. His gaunt face, gray eyes, and overall sickly appearance contrasted with his evidently strong, though slender, body hidden beneath a dark cloak. He had sharp facial features, thin lips, a similarly thin, slightly elongated nose, and a sharply trimmed gray beard framing his chin. Talia froze for a second, catching his gaze. He seemed to shiver slightly, as if from the cold, and a small lock of his white hair fell over his cheek from under his hood.

Talia abruptly dashed forward, trying to make her way through the crowd to where the stranger had stood. The broad shoulders of passersby kept blocking her view. She cursed, trying to shove them aside. By the time she reached the spot, the man was already gone. Breathing heavily, she looked around, hoping to find some trace. Then, closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to sense any magical trace, indicating he had used a portal or a door in space. Nothing. Talia opened her eyes, frowning—nothing. But that couldn't be—there always had to be something. A trace, a whisper of magic left behind when someone used it to disappear. She knew the feeling intimately, the way magic lingered in the air like the fading scent of smoke after a fire. But here, there was nothing. It was as if the man had simply vanished into thin air without a trace.

Her chest tightened with frustration, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach. This wasn't the first time she'd felt this way—so close to finding something, only for it to slip through her fingers at the last moment. The sense of familiarity gnawed at her. Could it have been him? Could it have been Nathaniel?

She swallowed hard, pushing down the surge of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. If it was Nathaniel, then he was close. Closer than he'd been in years. The sorceress took one last look around—no trace. Disappointed, she had to admit there was little she could do. The recent sense of lightness was gone, and Talia trudged back toward the camp, feeling that all-too-familiar heaviness in her heart.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This time, the camp was set up in the ruins of an old fortress that had recently served as a forward post near the city. Now, with the Absolute advancing closer every day, all forces had been relocated behind the city walls, leaving the fortress abandoned.

Upon returning to the camp, Talia sought solitude atop one of the towers, accessible only by a hastily constructed ladder. Sitting on one of the crates left behind by the soldiers, she gazed out at the city below, her eyes cloudy and unfocused. The streets and homes gradually lit up as night descended. A half-empty bottle of bitter wine swayed gently in her hand.

Talia felt a restless itch - the urge to drop everything and rush into the city, to search every alley and corner, to find no rest until she saw her brother again. She was so close, closer than she'd ever been. But she continued to sit on that damned crate in the damned camp, not moving an inch.

As the minutes stretched into hours, the city’s lights flickering like distant stars, Talia's grip on the bottle tightened. She knew she was on the edge of something monumental. For years, her every breath, every step, had been haunted by the need to find him, to confront what he had become. But now, when she was finally on the verge of that confrontation, she was almost ready to forget about it; to forget everything that had been the meaning of her life for so long, for... Talia gave a bitter smile to herself. For a wizard who was on the brink of sacrificing himself for the fleeting hope of earning a goddess’s forgiveness. And if not that, sooner or later the illithid tadpole would take over. No, Gale wasn't long for this world. So why couldn't she find the strength to leave? She knew perfectly well why…

She took another swig from the bottle, the bitter wine burning her throat, and blinked back tears that threatened to spill. Below her, the camp was quieting down, the sounds of laughter and conversation fading into the chilly evening. The others were resting, preparing for what lay ahead. But for her, there was no rest. Only this gnawing emptiness.

"Here you are!" - Gale grunted slightly as he climbed up the ladder to the tower. - "Are you all right? You haven't said a word all day..."

Talia quickly wiped her eyes and forced a smile: 

"I'm fine. I just needed to... get away."

The wizard frowned slightly, but seeing her state and the bottle in her hand, he decided not to press further. He sat down beside her, hunching over slightly and lacing his fingers together in front of him on his knees: 

"Looking for the truth in wine?"

"Something like that," - Talia replied, holding the bottle out to him.

Gale took the bottle, took a couple of sips, and immediately started coughing, his face scrunching up in disgust: 

"Gods, I hope the truth isn't as bitter as this swill!"

Talia remained silent, her expression speaking volumes. She turned her head, glancing over at the wizard, as if hoping to find the answer to her unspoken question in his keen eyes. Her gaze fell on the earring that glinted slightly in the torchlight.

“Why do you still wear Mystra's symbol? After everything she’s put you through…” - Talia reached out, attempting to remove the earring herself. Gale merely smirked, squinting slightly, and gently stopped her by placing his hand over hers.

“A common misconception among those who weren’t properly trained in the art of magic,” - he said, pausing as he removed the earring himself and placed it in his palm, holding it out for Talia to inspect more closely. -  “This isn't Mystra’s symbol, as people tend to believe. It’s a symbol of magic itself. You see…” - He pointed to the center of the symbol, a small but brilliantly shimmering diamond. - “This is the Weave - the source of all magic, as far as we know.” - He traced his finger along the earring. - “And these rays that emanate from it represent the eight schools of magic - eight rays, eight schools.”

Talia leaned in, listening carefully:  

“You wizards... always need to organize everything into neat little boxes, don’t you?”

Gale smirked slightly before his expression took on a more nostalgic tone: 

"Indeed, we do. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos."

The sorceress tore her eyes away from the earring in his hand and turned to him. There was a playful spark in his eyes, as if he wanted to convey something deeper than what appeared on the surface. Talia’s hand instinctively covered his palm, the one holding the earring. Her body seemed to move closer on its own…

"A wizard, Tally? Really?" - Gale’s voice suddenly turned unnaturally cold and sharp. His hand tightened, causing her pain. - "I always knew you had too soft a heart, but to stoop so low as to lie under a wizard?"

Talia recoiled, trying to free her hand from his death grip. It was useless. She watched in horror as Gale’s body twisted unnaturally, as if all the bones in his body had broken at once. Within moments, her brother sat before her instead. His slight smirk contrasted sharply with the coldness in his eyes as he tilted his head, measuring her with his gaze:

“Don’t be sad... I thought you were looking forward to this. A little family reunion!" - He sneered maliciously, yanking her hand and forcing her closer.

Talia winced from the pain and anger, resisting his grip as much as she could. Nathaniel mockingly pouted as if in feigned offense:

“What, are all your kisses reserved for the wizard? No kiss on the cheek for your brother?”

“I’ve got something for you, but it’s definitely not a kiss…” - Talia snapped out of her shock, preparing to strike him with lightning. But he was faster. With a swift motion and a whispered incantation, he summoned a dimension door right in front of them. Shoving Talia through it, he disappeared behind her. The magical door closed with a heavy sound and vanished into thin air as if it had never existed.

[vera-deville]

Vera's Hauntober 2023

Day 11 - Nightmare (Malleus Draconia)

10/09/2023 - 10/11/2023

Pairing: Malleus Draconia x Reader

Word Count: 358

Warnings: Nightmares, vague spoilers for Book 7 (?)

Gender: GN

Taglist: @animusicnerd, @leonistic, @pyroxeene, @savanaclaw1996, @thequeenoffishburrito, @ellssbellss, @reshi-galaxy, @hanafubukki, @hitoshislover, @purplecandything, @it-happened-one-fic

With a dramatic heave, Malleus bolted upfront from his bed. It was a horrible dream. He had seen him, except, it didn't really feel like him. It felt like someone had uncomfortably possessed his body, leaving no room for his mind to break free from its shackles.

It couldn't have been him. That's not who he was. That's not who he wanted to be.

Though he had waken up from his nightmare, the immense suffocation he felt wouldn't go away. He tried reaching for the glass of water besides his bed stand, but accidentally dropped it, watching as the glass shattered into multiple pieces in slow motion.

He needed to get out of here.

Blindly, Malleus escaped the confines of his room, heading towards some reaction. He didn't know where he was going, he wasn't even aware of what he was doing. But the farther he got from his dorm, the less he felt the unbearable suffocation.

It was near the Ramshackle dorm that he finally felt some relief and could finally breathe normally again.

Wait, Ramshackle?

Y/N awoke to the feeling of being nudged gently. At first, they couldn't be bothered to wake up, assuming that it was Grim. But the figure kept nudging them, and they had no choice but to wake up.

Their eyes widened when they realized that it was Malleus.

He didn't look like his normal composed self. He looked like he'd run a marathon. He looked like he had been stranded on a desert with no water to quench his thirst.

Y/N immediately felt their sleep wash away and jumped forward from their bed. They circled their arms around Malleus, closing the distance between the two of them. Slowly, but surely, Malleus succumbed to their touch, allowing them to thread their fingers through his hair, not unlike a spider web.

There weren't much words needed. It was simply an individual comforting another. They didn't need context. They didn't need reasons. They just needed to be there for each other.

And so the two fell asleep, Malleus finally returning to his original mental state, and finding the comfort he so craved.

Author's Note: Sorry this fic was a little shorter (like drabble-level short) than usual I was too lazy. I was going to go a lot more in depth about the book 7 spoilers, but then I decided to just vaguely cover that for the readers who don't know enough about the spoilers yet. Besides, I wanted to focus more on the hurt/comfort (it's my first time writing for this genre).

Also, did you notice that I used my usual 3rd person point of view again? As much as I wanted to try the new 2nd pov style again, it was already new ground writing a hurt/comfort fic.

OH MY GOD I HAD SCHEDULED THE TIME WHEN I'D POST THIS BUT THEN GOT BUSY AND IT GOT POSTED WITHOUT ME EVER FINISHING IT-

I am not proud of this, but I still needed to get over it, so here we are. T-T

See you in the next fic!

Masterlist Hauntober 2023 Masterlist

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

I didn't forget your other asks, by the way! I just don't have answers to them yet. But I've been wanting to ask YOU:

How do you determine/decide when spoken dialogue stops and a song starts in musicals? When is the best moment for that? What point in a story--not to mention a specific scene? How do you know?

Good question! (Wow, what an honor to answer one of your asks for once! Thanks!) A musical with a book (in other words, one that isn’t sung-through) is structured differently from a play. A play keeps everyone talking almost all the time, regardless of particular moments of strong emotion, whereas a musical with a book builds emotion up in the spoken dialogue and puts the rest into a song. Typically, your song is going to give your audience insight into a character’s thoughts in a way that doesn’t work as well if you have him or her speak or act out something silently. This has to do with how much the audience already knows about the character based on his or her interactions with other characters. Characters in plays tend to say everything out loud in their interactions with other characters or in asides—obviously not in the sense that they outright state their emotions in a linear cause-effect format, but in the sense that their reactions and responses to the topics of conversation reflect their inner thoughts rather reliably. Even when they lie, audience members usually have the benefit of knowing it's a lie and can pick up on how that lie and its use in conversation reflect things about the character as a whole. Characters in musicals aren’t as forthright, not even the main characters. When this “silence”—perhaps a better term is “obscurity”—leaves us with gaps in characterization or motivation, musical writers like to put songs there to fill in the gaps! Aside from filling in gaps in characterization, songs can also serve to dramatize events, provide exposition, be a source of comic relief, and set up future developments, but you’ve got to be discerning so that the musical moments don’t feel gratuitous.

Since I assume that you are not seeking to write a jukebox musical the way I did, pick the musical points in a story based on key dramatic points or points that aren’t the most immediately clear. Aside from these main uses, you can use songs as transitions that foreshadow events to come, as brief lead-ins to a spoken scene that shows off an important development, or as ways to replace a spoken version of a scene that might take too long or be too flat. Soliloquies have largely gone out of style in modern theatre, so a song has taken up the role of pulling back the curtain on a character's inner process—unlike a soliloquy forcing the character to turn to the audience and explain it, a song lets the audience experience it while giving the character some level of privacy. The character is thinking, and you can see it, but it's not like he or she knows you're there and tries to put it in terms you'll understand or judge less. Overall, a song is a resolution of the buildup of tension or suspense, but it should also drive you forward.

Which moments often get the most songs (or, to put it another way, which parts are tense enough to warrant a song as resolution)?

Openings: Act One openings answer the question "what is this story about?"; Act Two openings answer the question "where are we going?"

Anything vital to understanding a character, be it motivations ("I Want" songs) or thoughts on a situation

Dramatizations of events that would drag on too long or feel redundant or underwhelming if spoken, including big enough comic relief moments

Dramatizations of big turning points in a character's arc or points of no return (sometimes these fit into the above category, but I'll make this a category of its own)—if a critical realization happens in song format near the end of the second act, this can be called an 11 o'clock number.

Finales: Act One finales pose the question "what remains in the cards for these characters?" as an unresolved moment of suspense; Act Two finales answer the question "what was the ultimate trajectory these characters took?"

Let's take a look at how one of my favorite book musicals, Dear Evan Hansen, handles the divide between speech and song.

Our opening number, "Anybody Have a Map?" introduces the Hansen and Murphy families and follows their respective mothers' struggles to connect with their sons. This establishes the theme of isolation as it applies to them and their children and shows the moms' motivations: to connect with and support them. Once Connor shoves Evan and calls him a freak, we get "Waving Through a Window" as a song describing Evan's motivation: to feel seen and important. We get two brief reprises of this song: the first one takes place as he writes the letter that will later be mistaken for Connor's last words, and it drives home this motivation of his. The second one establishes it as a motivation for the socially awkward go-getter Alana as well (foreshadowing of something not immediately clear). When the Murphys come to believe that he was Connor's friend, the beginnings of Evan's lie in "For Forever" take the form of a song because this would feel too long and underwhelming if spoken and because it's the first threshold. (Inability to correct a miscommunication is one thing; outright lying becomes another.) The next threshold, creating fake emails between Evan and Connor in "Sincerely, Me" becomes another song for the same reasons: it's another point of no return that would drag on if it were normal dialogue, especially due to its status as comic relief. When Zoe's mom tells her to read these emails, which supposedly show a softer side to the brother who mistreated her, Zoe argues that Cynthia is trying too hard to make everything perfect. "Requiem" therefore shows us her true thoughts and those of her family as they handle their bereavement in their own ways. Evan tells Zoe that Connor admired her but couldn't admit it; this takes the form of "If I Could Tell Her" for many reasons. It's a point of tension because the audience knows Evan is crushing on her and wants to know how he'll handle this; it would be disappointing for him to simply speak. It's a turning point for their relationship as Zoe begins to open up to the idea that there were good things about her brother. It's an expression of Evan's thoughts about his inability to connect with her. As the school begins to forget about Connor, Evan's imaginary Connor tries to convince a hesitant Evan to start a memorial project in his honor, appealing to the idea of telling people they matter. "Disappear" is a threshold because it takes the lie from being localized to reaching an entire community. With these grand appeals to the themes of isolation and identity, Connor needs to sing because Alana just spoke without touching on those themes. "You Will Be Found," the Act One finale, dramatizes Evan's speech about what Connor supposedly meant to him and shows the Internet community's overwhelmingly positive response. Now that the lie has reached an entire community, the song takes place. There is nothing that Evan could say without being anticlimactic, and showing this verbally would be too long and redundant. As we pass this particularly huge point of no return, this is a nice place to leave off when asking "what remains in the cards for these characters?" because the dissonance hangs over our heads; we know that although this has affected the community positively and even allowed the Murphys to connect with each other, Evan is still speaking based on a lie and can still be found out. End of act.

Act Two opens with a spoken scene where Evan and Alana announce that they are planning to raise money on Kickstarter to reopen an orchard in Connor's memory. Our Act Two opener is a brief reprise of "Sincerely, Me" in which Jared tries to insert himself into the fake friendship, and this acts as a lead-in to spoken dialogue in which Evan chastises him for doing so. This is the opener because it helps show us where we're going; the rift between Evan and Jared is one that Evan doesn't think much of considering how snarky and dismissive Jared has been previously, but it matters to Jared, as little as he shows it, and it shows that Evan is beginning to turn more self-centered. In the next song, "To Break in a Glove," Larry shows Evan a glove he bought for Connor and talks about how Connor ignored it, how to break it in using a weeklong method instead of a glove-ruining instant one, and the importance of perseverance. This gradually turns into Larry trying to justify to himself his more stern disciplinarian attitude towards Connor, which he is beginning to doubt. It would feel too on-the-nose to watch Evan and Larry talk their way into a surrogate father-son relationship with life advice gained from the glove as a symbol and a metaphor, so the song becomes a vehicle. Let's move onto "Only Us," where Zoe tells Evan she wants to date him because of who he is as opposed to any closure or information he may be able to provide for her regarding her brother. This shows us their motivation: they want to let the rest of the world disappear so they can move forward and escape into each other. It's also a turning point because important things disappear with the rest of the world. Sure enough, the next scenes feature Alana disappointed in Evan for neglecting his duties and Heidi disappointed that her son would let the Murphys become surrogate parents to him. Cue "Good for You" as this tension begins to come to a head; we get everyone's thoughts about feeling used and Evan laments that there is no erasing what has been done. A brief reprise of "For Forever" shows Evan's imaginary Connor taunting him into continuing to lie by reminding him of his motivation to be connected with others so as to avoid himself. In desperation to keep Alana from discovering him to be a liar, Evan gives her his letter, which supposedly contains Connor's last words, and she posts it to gain money for the orchard. The Internet turns on the Murphys during "You Will Be Found (Reprise)," a critical threshold. Evan admits his lie to the Murphys and to himself in "Words Fail," the 11 o'clock number. This is a turning point in his arc as he owns up to his motivations (being seen as worthy and escaping his brokenness), recognizes his reasons for his actions and their inability to excuse him, and decides on truthfulness from now on. Heidi consoles him in "So Big/So Small," gives him the space to admit his struggles to her, and promises that he will move forward and have her support in doing so. The finale takes place a year later as Evan reflects on his growth; he is now in a place where he can be more honest with himself without relying on others' validation or recognition to feel important.

If you've read all this, I hope it helps! For anyone else who might be reading this and seeking to do a jukebox musical, the same principles apply. (Granted, you can, as I did, write around the shared themes of your desired songs for an idea about the plot and then carve in specific little ways to put in something particular, but these guidelines are there to help you keep it organic and fitting with the theme and the storyline. There is nothing worse than a shoehorned plot point established for the sake of a fanservice song. Audiences can tell.)

[iocainesmoothie]

veilguard was incredible, 11/10

I really don't have any interest in nit-picking or criticizing what was missing or done poorly, there was always going to be too much they COULD have crammed in and inevitably so much that didn't make it because at the end of the day it has to be a finished marketable product and must be made with finite resources.

there are always going to be cuts and places that feel lacking, there are always going to be holes, but its important to be appreciative of where they DID decide to spend their resources and I think their team did a fantastic job.

the hair, omg the hair.

the DA2 atmosphere, the ME2 story structure and emphasis on companions, the lore of DAI, like they could not have made a game more tailored to my tastes.

I'm so so so grateful to everyone at bioware who made it happen and that games like this still get made, truly no one does it like they do. BG3 was great but i don't consider them a substitute for the feeling i get from Bioware games. I finished veilguard like 2 days ago and I'm still kinda wondering around in an emotional fog.

I really thought I was going to be disappointed by the romances because nothing was going to compare to the impact and shock reveal and story relevance of solavellan, but omg emmrich!?!

he's so romantic, he's such a lover, he WANTS love so bad, he's so flustered about the age gap! his character arc is ACTUALLY INTERESTING and thematic! there are actually different routes for his romance to go and theyre both HUGELY different AND good!!! AND ALSO relevant to his themes as a character!!! in either route you basically have to chose which one of you is going to (eventually) die first and leave the other one mourning and its like UGH HES SO!!!! UGH ITS SO GOOD!! YOU GET IN A LOVERS SPAT BEFORE A BIG STORY MOMENT!!! THATS WORKING SYNCHRONOUSLY WITH THE GAME PLOT TO ENHANCE THE OVER ALL STORY!! ITS SO GOOOD!!!!

also its SUCH a relief to have an option that wasnt like SUPER young, the age gap is hot as fuck and its part of his story and UGH ITS SO GOOD!!

i also just love the mourn watch as a whole, I feel like some of dragon age magic system gets explained a little too concretely (it feels like everything is either because elves or because spirits or both) and the necropolis vibes are sort of like, no we haven't solved all that there is to be solved about magic and the fade, there are mysteries and cool stuff and wiggle room in the universe for other new stuff to be introduced, like lichs and vampires and supernatural beings that arent just different flavours of spirits.

I do feel bad for the lucanis girlies though. giving players HALF as much romance content as everyone else, and then saying its because of personality reasons? for a character whos personality you wrote yourself? seems mean spirited.

like you didnt have to do that, it was actively making the player experience worse for arguably nothing, if you wanted to convey that lucanis doesn't feel free to want things for himself there were other ways to portray that than an ABSENCE of content. you have a finite word count to bring these characters to life. Wasting it like that for arguably nothing except to make players feel disappointment doesn't seem defensible to me?

not even going into the neve thing. everyone on twitter is doing the usual "boohoo you just hate neve because you hate women" thing.

I LOVE neve, i think that "fantasy-noir" vibe she and varric have is absolute PEAK, I also didnt even romance lucanis, and i think they're perfectly sweet together and i love when companions have lives outside the main character!

but i do think its double shitty to write a character who fully ignores your romance lines (like not even shrugs them off or has an awkward or negative reaction just FULLY does not react as if the game isn't registering the option you chose) but then have them actively pursuing someone else?

what happened to those personality reasons?

lucanis has never had a relationship before but suddenly he's juggling 2 people?

during his quest (his stupid lazy dream sequence quest that has to happen in the middle of another conversation while the two of you stand there awkwardly for some reason) even if you've chosen every heart option he'll still imply in his dream sequence that hes attracted to neve.

YOU get cut off from the romance route if you choose to support minrathous but he's fine with neve?

I'm just saying, if i were writing one of 6 romance routes in the last dragon age game maybe ever made, I would have been more generous. The way it treats the player is almost adversarial?

I know, i know, the opposite side of the spectrum is being TOO fawning about the player till it almost reaches the point of paternalistic condescension, like when every single character adores the mc and never questions or doubts or disagrees with them. that also sucks! that is also a bad writing choice!

i LOVED rook and solas's relationship. I am a hardcore solavellan solas simp and my sole goal was for them to get their happy ever after, solas is my favorite character across all media EVER.

that said, i loved making rook shit talk him, and swear at him and hate him, and i was DELIGHTED every time solas betrayed them, even at the very end when he, the god of lies, swears on everything he holds sacred that he PROMISES he wont try to bring the veil down again after elgernan is dead and you just KNOW hes trying to give you one more stab in the back for the road, i LOVED it. i was DELIGHTED to be trapped in that prison, it was the strongest part of the game and I cried pretty much nonstop from that point to the finale. i dont NEED every character to get along and play nice and love me unquestioningly. i LOVE carver!!! i LOVE the rivalry system!!!

again i havent even played lucanis's route and i probably never will because i'm insane about emmrich (who btw i can romance every play through and pick a different version and get a different but equally devastatingly romantic route AHEM)

also im only criticizing his writing here, at the bottom of a huge rambling text post behind a read more on a dead website at 5:30 am, because mary kirby did get laid off and didn't receive the severance she was owed and regardless of how i feel about her latest work she absolutely deserves the money and new stable employment and picking on the way she wrote her character doesn't seem like the right thing to do anywhere there is even a slim chance someone might see it.

anyway, i just think maybe they were trying to play with structure to convey something and i disagree with the results, but what do i know. I'm protesting more about that because the mechanics of writing game romances, more so than the romance itself, is my obsessive special interest and I'm always thinking of how I would do it, and to see someone get the chance to do it in the big leagues and fumble (according to my tastes) chafes me a little.

that said, iv seen a lot of people who were perfectly happy with what they got from Lucanis so maybe im totally wrong lmao.

Im also just now thinking of all the stuff we'll never get a definitive answer to if this really is the last game, or all the choices that we imported over fifteen years that ended up meaning nothing.

like if only elgernan and ghilly were left, does that mean what the wardens were doing WAS actually killing the gods? and once theyre all dead the veil would come down because it no longer had their life force fuelling it and the mega blight would come out? and THATS why solas was so freaked out by clarel?

what the fuck was the point of playing hot potato with urthemiel's old god soul over the entire franchise? what about the well of sorrows?!! what the fuck is actually going on in kalsharok? theyre just like ALL semi-tainted semi-wardens? WAS andraste a mage? a vessel for mythal? WAS SOLAS SHARTAN????!?! what was yavanna trying to rebuild the dragon population for? WHAT RECKONING WAS MYTHAL PLANNING?!?! what the fuck is the gathering storm? why did the pre-qunari race decide to drink dragon blood to become qunari to get away from them? LIZARD MEN ILLUMINATI FROM THE MOON? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!

i mean i know obviously the answer is "resource budget and time", and again im just so incredibly grateful the game got made at all, i guess im just left with the same feeling every other dragon age game gave me which is that i desperately want more.

[iggysmice]

Fun story! long though, so here's a readmore:

So on Saturday (3/11) I was woken up by my dad telling me I was going to the grocery store with him bc my dad is a fan of communal suffering and also doesn't always like shopping alone.

Why didn't he ask my brother? I don't know, i think its because i tend to be more okay with being woken up and taken somewhere. I can just roll out of bed, run my hand thru my hair so it sticks up in a more organized fashion, and go. its the PNW, nobody cares if you're at a store in pajamas, and in fact it makes sense to most of us bc like, why wouldn't you want to be comfy while running errands? We also tend to wear lounging clothes to travel for similar reasons.

along the way we pick up my buddy venus who lives down the road which is kind of hilarious because she also lived down the road from me when we were growing up. she has to get groceries too and does not have a car right now so my dad helps her out with rides because we live close.

why do i live with my parents at 25? the economy is in shambles and also it's more viable while I'm in school because i dont also have to try and work full time bc i live in a 4 person household so collectively we manage better than we might alone. I am also very autistic and need my mom a lot.

either way i wandered around the store for a while and then we drove back to venus's apartment. She lives on the 3rd floor and this is the kind of apartments that have homeless people smoking meth in the stairwells and sleeping in the halls to be out of the rain so there is not an elevator. actually, the easiest route to her specific apartment is currently blocked because they're doing construction on the walkway. the rumor is that the aforementioned homeless meth users started a fire that compromised the integrity of the wooden walkway. unclear if it happened on purpose and i could see it going either way- homeless people here often have camp stoves they light to keep warm at night because it's not warm here, if one was on meth or otherwise distracted one might knock over the camp stove on accident. one under the influence of substances may also just like, Decide to start a fire.

all this to say i had a long way and three flights of stairs to go to help my friend carry her groceries. at no point did i feel like i was overextending or hurting myself.

that evening my left boob started hurting. This happens sometimes, boob havers all know it to be true, but id just gotten a birth control shot on Thursday and i was late so my hormones were fucky and like, blood clots from messing with those hormones can hurt or kill even young boob havers, so i was a little concerned. i also get HS abscesses on my boobs once in a while which I am going to use as an argument as to why my insurance should cover top surgery someday. i say "boob haver" because its very funny and inclusive phrasing not everyone with them is a woman, even my gender is more "lesbian" than anything else.

so i took some tylenol and monitored the boob. the pain seemed manageable through sunday, but when i woke up on monday, oh boy...

i get abscesses a lot, and they're usually close to the surface and fast growing- very painful as it pushes aside all the structures in your skin and wrecks the tissue. i was once asked if there's any like, feeling of relief when one drains because the pressure is gone and i answered that it hurts too much for me to sense any pressure changes and mostly i just feel relieved that its draining the nasty stuff out because that means its going to start to heal, theres no physical sensation.

the pain and spasms in my boob on sunday were getting to be comparable to that. i figured id sleep and being still would help and id feel better in the morning.

monday morning it was worse. the spasms under my boob felt like i was being stabbed or the breast itself was being pulled violently off of me. it was bad when i sat down but it was intolerable when i stood or breathed deeply.

at this point you might think "kodi, hospital" and i did in fact decide to go to a walk in clinic. for people who arent sure what the differencr between a walk in clinic and a doctors clinic is, there are basically three levels of care, at least in my area of the US.

If you can wait a week, you should make an appointment with your doctor at their office or clinic. This is for things like a cough that isn't impeding you but it's weird it won't go away, or to get a flu shot. If you can wait several hours or even a full day, an urgent care or walk in clinic is ideal. These offer same day care and often large enough doctors offices will also have walk in hours so that even in a moderate emergency you can come to your regular office, which helps when you're hurt or sick. This is the level I sought. If you can't wait at all, like you are diabetic and can't control your blood sugar for some reason, go to the emergency room. ERs are 24hr and usually at large hospitals. you want to go there if you are having appendix pain or have broken a bone. If you won't survive long enough for the car ride to the ER, that's when you call an ambulance. You probably won't be the one who does this.

Anyway, i went to the urgent care at my doctors office. i called my grandma to take me because my dad was at work and i was not going to walk to a bus stop or get in an uber in the state i was in. plus, i just don't like taking ubers because as a tiny little woman, at least externally, you don't generally get into a car with a stranger, so it feels weird to do on purpose.

The reception said there was 9 people waiting ahead of me. i resigned to my fate (sitting in a waiting room in pain all day) and curled up in a chair, supporting my poor boob as much as i could to alleviate the pain. my best guess is that because my check in said i was there for "chest pain on the left side" they prioritized me a little in case i happened to be having a heart attack and they had to call 911 because i was only curled up there for like half an hour. maybe longer. i had not slept and so i sort of took advantage of my positional pain relief in the chair and had a catnap.

they took blood from me and did an ekg, to make sure it wasn't the heart. id been hurting for about three days now and told everyone "if it was my heart id probably just be dead after this long."

The doctor's best guess is that i sprained my pectoral muscle, probably when i was helping venus carry things, because sprains can have a delayed pain response like that. he did also say "since you didn't fall and you don't lift weights i'm not sure how you injured yourself that way" so put that in the pile of Times I Have Confused Medical Professionals With A Condition alongside all the completely asymptomatic sinus infections i got as a child and the extremely linger-y cough i had after a flu as a teenager.

anyway i got a bunch of medication to help me be able to sleep and while it makes me a little loopy, its better than the amount of pain i was in.

[emohee]

you are for me and me only - 박종성

- ,, pairing : yandere!jay x fem!reader

- ,, genre : yandere

- ,, tw : yandere themes, dead bodies, violence, kidnapping, rape mention. read at your own risk

- ,, word count : 973

- ,, yuri's note : AAH, this is my first post, enjoy!

I was coming home from work, it was about 11 pm i think...

i don't remember well, but I remember it was very dark.

I walked down an alley, the one I walked every day to get home, it was a quiet place since only my stepsister and I lived there, so I was usually not afraid to walk through it even though it was always dark and full of scary noises.

but that day I felt a strange gut feeling, I felt that someone was following me, so I turned around, but I didn't see anyone so I continued walking, I was only about fifteen meters away before entering the house, but suddenly I felt something hitting my head .

that's all I remember from that day ...

I woke up on a cold and humid surface, I couldn't understand where I was, i didn't want to open my eyes, so I tried to move my arm a little on the floor to understand where I was lying, but nothing but smooth cold humid floor.

I also felt a strong stench, like a carcass one.

at that point I opened my eyes, I was in a gray room lit by a light bulb hanging from the center of the ceiling; that place was not at all familiar, I turned my head and saw another girl lying with her back to me, she was dressed in a light pink lingerie and had big bruises on her ankles.

"hey" I said hoping that she would know where we were

she didn't answer

so I tried to get closer but when I tried to move my legs I felt an intense pain, I looked at my legs, apparently mine were also full of bruises especially the ankles.

at that moment I didn't ask myself how and why they were like this,

at that moment I was just thinking about finding out where I was.

I reached out my arm to the girl, and touched her, her body was cold, I crawled towards her using my hands, the stench of carcass came from her.

"it can't be"

only one thing was on my mind

I was in a room with a corpse

how? why? why was she here?

I tried to turn the body so that I could see it well

the girl had many scratches, especially on her face and waist, she had bruises all over, and also many hickeys on her neck.

I had read of such cases, girls kidnapped, then raped and finally killed.

And this girl was one of them, was I next?

that idea terrified me to the point that when I finally looked at the room in all its grandeur and saw a ladder right behind me I started crawling using my hands to move my body.

I had to get out of there right away

it was difficult, very difficult, but I managed to crawl the steps.

above the stairs there was a door, luckily for me, a sliding door

I opened it, and strangely it wasn't locked,

and there was nobody outside the door so I decided to take the chance despite how suspicious it was

i wasn't thinking about the the trap i could've get in, i only thought about my survival

I crawled, crawled and crawled until I saw a door, a wave of relief flooded me, so I crawled even more

they were only about twenty centimeters and I would have gotten out of here!

but then

I felt someone stand on my legs,

"AAAAH!"

i screamed in pain

then I felt a foot on my head pressing my face to the ground.

"you fell into my trap, how pathetic, do you really thought I would let you escape? you were wrong doll"

the foot pressed my face even harder

"you.don't.have.to.behave.like that.understand?"

with each word he first let go of my head and then pressed it on the ground aggressively.

then he took his foot off my head and rolled me onto my back.

i saw a guy, in his early 20's probably, elegantly dressed, he had glasses, he was also very attractive to be honest.

he looked at me, from head to toe, as if he was evaluating me

I started shaking and felt the cold sweat roll down my back

what will he do to me?

"what do you want from me?" I asked cautiously hoping to sound fearless but ending up sounding pathetically frightened as my voice trembled

the guy laughed and ducked down, took my chin hard and came close to my face so close I could feel his warm breath in my face

"honey, I want nothing but you, if I hadn't wanted you I wouldn't have brought you to my house, hm?" he said it as if it were obvious, and smiled

I didn't answer and looked at him in disbelief

he stroked my cheek gently and then slapped me so hard it made me turn my face away

then he took my chin back and stroked the cheek he had previously slapped, then he kissed it

"doll, when I ask you something you always have to answer, unless I expressly ask you, understand?"

I nodded yes

"Let me hear," he said smugly

"yes, i got it" I muttered

"good girl, if you keep it up we'll get along," he said kindly

then he became serious

"now, you really need new clothes and a nice shower"

he got up and took me in his arms, making me rest my head on his shoulder.

for the time being, the only thing I had understood was that I had to play along, behave as he wants, be his obedient doll, earn his trust and then run away.

I looked at the door, one day I would walk through it, that's for sure

[official-english-major]

Just read the duchess of malfi for the first time! Thoughts:

1. LET. ANTONIO. AND. THE. DUCHESS. BE. HAPPY.

2. After reading how other characters described Antonio and the Duchess I was afraid they'd be idealized to the point of unrelatability. But then you get to see how they themselves act and they seem so real??? Their interactions were so cute??? The duchess proposes to Antonio and the audience isn't expected to shame her for it??? It's an actual healthy ship between characters of different social strata??? I did NOT see this coming. It's so progressive for its time (at least compared to other plays I've read from this time period). Good for Webster.

3. Ferdinand goes from the absolute worst in acts I through III to a top 3 character after going insane. I love how absolutely unhinged he is while there's still just enough tragic meaning behind his words that you can tell his madness is caused by his guilt

4. The villains' motives could've been more clear. Like they just don't want her to remarry because it's slutty? Because then her money would be going to a husband instead of them? Because they want to pick the man she marries? Because incest? Idk that was kind of weird

5. Screw Cardinal. All my homies hate Cardinal.

6. Also literally why does Bosola keep doing stupid crap??? Like he acts like he HAS to kill people just because someone gave him a job. Bestie, maybe just... don't take the job??????? You really thought your best option here was to just complain about how guilty you feel but commit homicide anyway??????????????? Bruh moment.

7. Stabbing Antonio was very Hamlet and Polonius of him.

8. I literally have no idea what the timeline of this play is. I know there's a time gap after she has the first kid but it feels like the rest of the play is taking place on the timeline it was following without the time gap? Idk if that makes sense, I guess I'm just not seeing why the time gap was necessary, or even how it was used, outside of allowing there to be multiple kids

9. Coriola making up excuses for why she shouldn't get killed was a well-needed moment of comic relief but also pretty sad because she didn't deserve that

10. Delio better adopt Antonio's son and raise him 😤. I feel like it was implied but I really need it to be explicitly clear

11. The tragic speeches and characterization were way better than I expected going in. I was legit tearing up at parts, which usually doesn't happen when I read plays, except like... hamlet (and one scene in all's well that ends well but we don't talk about that)

12. A likeable, strong, independent, but virtuous female character in Jacobean drama who isn't demonized for any of these traits? It's more likely than you think.

13. Kind of sad that Shakespeare plays are the only mainstream drama from this time period. Some plays from this period just freaking slap. (I recently read The Malcontent... SO good, guys. A very different type of play from this, though.)

14. Anyway yeah I really, really liked this. Very enjoyable even if there were some details that probably flew over my head as I went. At least an 8.5/10 (which is pretty dang good by my standards.)

[niskoo]

Memories kept in the pink hoodie

pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU

warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together

word count: 2.2k words OMG

a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!

a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear

You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.

It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.

The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.

When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.

Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.

Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.

It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.

You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.

Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.

'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'

You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.

You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.

'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'

Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.

You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?

You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.

As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.

You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.

You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.

“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.

Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.

Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.

All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.

You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”

It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“

“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”

You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.

Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.

All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.

Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.

Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.

Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.

Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”

“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”

More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.

A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”

A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”

He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”

You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.

For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.

Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.

And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.

You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.

‘My dear Y/n,

Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe

i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.

i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.

i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.

with all the love in my heart,

Lee Heeseung :)’

You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.

You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

[sandalaris]

ace asks: 2, 11, 15, and 18! 💖

🖤🤍💜

2. 🖤 what ace-spec microlabels, if any, do you identify as?

I don't really use it much, but the term gray-fray-romantic are both aro-spec microlabels I identify with. As for ace-spec microlabels, sometimes I feel like cupiosexual might fit me, but considering my struggles with wanting to be sexually desired stems from how our society teaches young girls that much of our worth comes from how sexually appealing we are to men... The more I fix my own internalized misogyny the less I care one way or another if my partner desires me sexually. And that got way more deep than I meant it too, lol.

11. 🤍 what's your favorite part about being asexual?

As much as I want to say the flag (the colors are just so pretty!), in reality finding a label for what I've always felt was such a relief. I didn't even realize I was struggling with putting a name to it, I'd always just laughed it off as "I think about sex differently." But realizing that people really did experience this mystical thing called sexual attraction and that it wasn't just made up by writers to create more drama in stories, it made so many things sudden clear to me and was such a relief.

15. 💜 if you could tell allosexual people one thing, what would it be?

Stop asking asexuals questions about what they do with their privates! It may seem like a no-brainer, but the top three questions I get asked when people find out I'm ace is "Do you masturbate?" "Are you a virgin?" "Were you sexually assaulted/raped?" Nope, not kidding. I get asked those three questions all. The. Time. Not two days ago two guys heard I was asexual and both immediately asked me two of those questions back to back. Someone else asked me if that I meant I was into children (admittedly a less common question), and many others have told me I just haven't had good sex yet. There's something about being ace that causes people to think it's perfectly appropriate to ask really invasive questions.

18. 🖤 what fictional characters do you headcanon as asexual?

Daryl Dixon! Its even semi-confirmed through bts stuff. Of course, they also started out saying that Daryl might be gay bts before switching it to saying he's never experienced attraction before and that he's "not really a sexual guy." Which is yet another reason I don't take bts talk as canon, lol. But either way! I headcanon Daryl as between demisexual and asexual, depending on my mood.

I headcanon Sherlock Holmes as being asexual in most adaptations. The exception being Elementary where I headcanon him as aromantic heterosexual (mostly confirmed), and Joan Watson as poly gray-romantic (which was at least half-confirmed/half-theorized by the characters on screen).

I like, but rarely headcanon, the idea of Derek Hale being ace. He's got a lot of trauma surrounding sex, which makes this a stickier one because there's already way too much assumption that something (usually sexual trauma) "makes" someone ace, and I'm afraid to dive too much into asexual!Derek Hale for fear of finding people doing exactly that with him.

I feel like Sheldon Cooper's a no-brainer. He's all but stated so on screen, even if bts they've been rather against the idea. Stupid acephobic writers (I'm also side-eying the Riverdale writers for this. They completely erased Jughead's canon touch-repulsed asexual aromantic orientation from the comics and made him straight because "asexuals are boring." ARG! I'm still pissed about it.)

And to keep this list from getting too long, I'm going to do one more! I headcanon every version of the Doctor as somewhere on the ace spectrum. From gray-ace to sex-repulsed ace, s/he's on there somewhere. Although how much does that count because s/he's literal from an alien race who's sexual orientations probably don't align with humans? Oh well, that's what I headcanon!

[marsbutterfly]

Letters to You

Summary: A gentle knock on your door forces you to change your focus from the book that now rests in your hands to the silhouette that enters your room.

"Hello Sir!" you quickly salute. He raises his hand, allowing you to rest. He doesn't waste any time before breaking the news to you.

"Y/N, I'm sorry to inform you but you will not be a part of our next operation. We'll be leaving tomorrow at dawn. I expect you to focus on your healing process in the meantime."

The shock you feel in that moment freezes you up and your brain quickly goes blank for a few seconds while you try to think of a response.

NOTE: This is a continuation of my previous work: The Scientist's Gamble. It also works just fine on its own! There will be another story based on these and it will end my "trilogy" hahaha! Enjoy!

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Wattpad Version! | AO3 Version!

"But Commander Erwin, please!!" your voice sounding desperate, truth is you don't want to be left behind, you want to know what's going on in his mind, but since the last expedition didn't end so well for you, your superiors have decided it would be for the best if you stay behind this time.

"Y/N, this decision is final. I'm sorry." He says before walking towards the door, you can see a hint of pity in his eyes but you are painfully aware that no amount of begging would change his mind.

You let out an audible sigh, you know he has a point. Your hands travel down your body gently, a gasp escaping your lips softly as your fingertips brush against your bruised ribs."Then what am I supposed to do?" You look out the window to see your friends waving at you before they enter the building, the smile on their faces slowly fades as they watch Commander Erwin make his way out of the hospital wing, the serious expression on his face never means anything good.

Before you can even fully comprehend the news you just received, the group of nine teenagers enters your room, most of them smiling warmly at you, except Ymir who has her arms crossed over her chest while she stares at Christa.

"Hey Y/N, how are you feeling today?" You turn your head to face the tall, black-haired boy. As you look into his eyes, his cheeks grow a gentle shade of red.

"I'm alright Bert, thank you for asking." You smile weakly before looking down at your hands. They shake slightly, not fully recovered from the trauma your body received not too long ago.

"We saw Commander Erwin leaving, was he talking to you?" Connie asks, trying to fill the silence in the room. You can hear Ymir's elbow hitting his bones as she whispers something along the lines "shut up!" You smile at his confused features.

"So you know how they are sending all of the 104 Cadets away for a little bit?"

"Yeah, do you know anything about that?" Sasha asks before pulling a couple of apples out of her bag. You can almost see her thought process as she quietly offers you one of them, to which you just deny, bringing her great joy.

"No more than you all do, all I know is that I was supposed to be on guard duty," you look around checking all of their faces, trying your best not to sound as upset as you are, "but because of my injuries I have to stay behind."

"What? But you are almost fully healed!" Eren says with indignation in his voice, his green eyes filled with a mix of rage and sadness. "There's gotta be something we can..."

As the small, blonde-haired boy raises his hand, he quickly stops talking. Armin places a hand on his chin, trying to think of what could be said in a situation like this.

"If they want you to stay here Y/N, then maybe it means it's not as serious as we think it is!" He smiles, relief clearly taking over his body.

"huh, I guess I haven't thought about it that way. You might be right!" Finally, you allow yourself to relax as your back touches the soft pillow. If they didn't need you to be there, then Armin must be right.

Before you can chat anymore, a figure dressed in white comes through the door, a gentle smile on her face as she announces visiting hours are over and unless they are family, they must leave. The teenagers quickly nod their heads before turning at you, their voices overlapping one another as they walk towards the exit. You can barely understand them but you know they all wish you a speedy recovery.

A giggle escapes your lips before you pick up your book, getting ready to read it once again.

.

As the clock strikes at 11 pm, you realize Hanji is not coming today. Usually, you spend the days by yourself, reading or working on reports, but she always makes a point of coming by at the end of the day to check on you and relax by your side.

You're too absorbed in your thoughts to realize the quiet knock on the window, that is until a small rock passes through the little crack and lands on your arm. Shaking your head in confusion, you carefully stand up to check what had just happened.

You're now even more confused once you realize the person trying to get your attention was not Hanji, but Moblit.

"What are you doing here?" You try to whisper but loud enough so he could hear you.

"I have a message from Section Commander for you!"

You stick your arm outside the window as you point to the hidden path Hanji has made from all the nights she had spent coming into your room, the cold air hitting your warm skin bringing a chill down your body.

Trying your best not to laugh at his struggle, you take the little box he is holding and helps him bring his body inside.

"How can she do that so easily?" The brown-haired man asks, trying to catch his breath. The laughter escapes your body before you can even respond. You think about the first time Hanji has ever invaded your hospital room.

.

The knocks startle you a bit, especially because they come from the locked window. You move your covers gently as you try to stand up. The pain in your ribs and legs is almost enough to force you to go back to bed, but your curiosity gets the best of you.

As you unlock the glass, Hanji's head pops inside.

"Hi, Y/N!"

"Hanji, what the hell? You scared the crap out of me!" You place a hand on your chest, feeling your heart beating faster and faster.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I just... I worked all day and ended up missing visitation hours, but I still wanted to see you!" She smiles brightly at you, extending her hand. You help the mad scientist come inside before looking deep into her eyes.

"How did you get up here?"

"I climbed the side of the building!" she blurts out, putting her hands on her hips, you can see in her eyes how she is proud of yourself. You shake your head, Of course she did.

A smile appears on your face as you pull her in for a kiss. Your hands gently touching her soft skin as you bring your lips closer to hers. The gentle breeze entering the room makes the warmth of her body even more noticeable. As you sadly separate your faces, she pulls you in for a long and careful hug.

"I missed you today." Her voice is barely louder than a whisper. A small giggle leaves your body, not to make fun of her but because the feeling of having her in your arms is enough to relax your body from all the pain and worries you've been feeling lately.

"I missed you more."

Once you leave Hanji's embrace, you want nothing more but to look at her for a few seconds and as you do, her cheeks begin to change into a shade of dark red. She quickly looks away, trying her best to divert your attention.

"I have so much to tell you about today!!" She says as she grabs your hand, pulling you onto the bed. You let out a simple quiet laughter before following her, hearing her talk has always been one of your favorite things.

.

As you extend your hand, offering Moblit a place to sit, he tries his best to catch his breath. It takes him a few tries but he's finally able to put himself together and tell you why he's here.

"She feels awful that she couldn't come to see you today! She's been studying a small piece of the wall, so before we leave tomorrow I offered to come and check on you and she gave me something that I'm supposed to place it in your hands and nowhere else!" He quickly grabs a small key from his pocket, which brought a confused look to your face. He hands it to you gently, almost as if it was made of glass.

"Section Commander Hanji has given me this key every time she ventures outside the walls. Since you're not coming this time, she has asked me to give it to you instead."

You smile at him, but still wasn't enough to hide your confusion. You then change your focus to the small brown box that now rests by your book, the brown-haired man follows your eyes and let's out a small Oh.

"You see, the night before every expedition, Section Commander makes sure to write you a letter, in case she doesn't return." He takes a quick break before realizing what a horrible time he decided to stop. "Not that she thinks she won't come back!!! She just wants you to have something to remind you of her"

You laugh at his nervous reaction before placing a hand on his shoulder, making sure he doesn't feel like you are making fun of him.

"It's ok. I'll start reading them as soon as you leave! Thank you, Moblit!" You flash him a bright smile which he gladly responds with one of his own.

As soon as he climbs back down, you run towards the bedside table. The small key in your hands slides inside the small box with ease. As soon as you open it, the dozens of pieces of paper jump out and so does the smell of Hanji's perfume. A smile appearing on your face as you feel the texture of her handwriting against the pages.

Every letter, she uses a different nickname she has for you, describing how she's feeling about the next adventure or how much she wants to spend time with you once you're both back inside the walls. You can see how much time and effort she put into these and it makes your heart skip a beat.

You don't realize the tears running down your face until they hit the paper in your hands. As you wipe them away, you realize they are not tears of sadness but actually, this is the only way your body found to express everything you are feeling as you read.

Your focus goes from the papers in your hands to the clock, now striking 2 am. A soft gasp leaves your body as you realize how long you've been reading these letters, but even though it's late you can't seem to put them down.

The next letter you read is about Annie Leonhardt. On the paper, there is classified information about tomorrow's mission. They know two other cadets came from the same region as her, so now the Survey Corps need to confirm the theory that Bertholdt and Reiner are also titan shifters. You can't believe it, or rather you don't want to believe it. Bert is always quiet but he's the sweetest teenager among them all and Reiner is one of your closest friends.

Before you can give it another thought, your body is lulled into a slumber, tired from the hours and hours of reading.

.

The sunset peaks from behind the curtains, disturbing your peaceful sleep. You take a look at the clock, 17:09. Shit, I overslept! You think to yourself,  reading Hanji's letters to you definitely took a toll on your body, you're just not used to going to sleep so late. By now, the cadets have gathered around, the veterans making sure they are unarmed and being kept away from civilians.

You notice a small note by your bedside table, a soft smile forming on your lips as you notice your name writing in Hanji's handwriting. You carefully grab the paper.

"Y/N, we are on our way to bring the recruits back, we gathered new information about the royal family. A small, blonde girl named Christa is the true ruler of the walls and right now she's deep into the front lines. We must go after her."

You take a short break, your mind spins around as the smile on your lips immediately fades away, you try to comprehend what you just read. "Christa? Queen? But... How is that possible?" You continue to read the message.

"I will explain once we return, but we need your help. I need your help, Y/N! I know it's too much to ask, but please if you can, come to Utgard Castle, I'll be waiting for you. Love, Your Hanji. "

You can't fully understand everything, too much new information has been thrown at you at once, but without missing a second, you get out of your hospital bed. "If Hanji needs me, then I'll be there."

"The nurses will never allow me to leave willingly!"  You think to yourself. "I'll have to climb down the window."

.

It takes a few minutes, but once you touch the floor, you realize Moblit was right, "How can she do this so easily?" a gentle giggle escapes your lips before you focus once more on what you are doing.

You sprint towards your chambers, changing into the first uniform you can see. You check your gas and your blades, "everything seems to be in order." As you get settled on your horse, a very bad feeling takes place in your stomach. You can't understand what, but something doesn't feel right. Sprinting as fast as you can, you make your way towards the empty castle, hoping everything is ok.

"Hanji, I'll be there soon, I promise!"

While you ride, you think about your girlfriend's letters.

"Y/N, you looked so beautiful today. While sitting outside underneath the apple tree, a book in your hand and the sun ever so gently hitting your hair. Right there, I fell in love with you all over again. But if we're being honest, I fall in love with you every day."

"My dear, I swear to you, I have never seen a more beautiful titan! Blue eyes, blonde hair. Oh Y/N, according to the notes we found by its body, it could speak! I'm so disappointed in Levi for killing it, it would've been such an amazing specimen!"

"Y/N, no matter what happens to me, never forget one simple thing: I love you."

The cold wind hits your face as your eyes adjust to the darkness. You ride as fast as you can, trying to catch them on time. Your brain processes the information given to you by Hanji's note but a few times you have to stop yourself from daydreaming about her love-filled letters. The moonlight should be enough to give you an idea of where you are going but also protect you from the titans, or so you thought.

No matter the amount of research you've done in your life, with Hanji or by yourself, nothing could have ever prepared you for the sight that greeted you.

"What in the world is going on here?"

[maevelin]

I know you didn't enjoy Nesta's book that much. What were the parts you didn't like and were there things you did enjoy?

I found the plot very basic and simplistic. The author has the tendency to overhype certain things and then drop the hints and the foreshadowing or write something totally anticlimactic about it.

An example for the anticlimactic part is how the former books had presented the Blood Rite as such a horrific event. One that in order to survive it Illyrians trained their whole life and then you take a few completely untrained individuals, train them basically for a few months a few hours in the mornings (I mean it is as if they went to the gym) and then they are ready to own the whole thing. It was ridiculous.

You introduce the concept of Valkyries and instead of writing an actual story about it you give a child’s play with some girls basically saying...hey they sound cool, we have no idea past the surface what and who they were or if we are basically appropriating their culture but let’s make a new club about it. I mean...why not just introduce Valkyries in a more grounded way, even the rebirth of their nation and lore, in a more realistic way? Instead you get a lost female tradition and you have males teaching girls about it. Take Thor Ragnarok for example (one movie that has not won me over as much as others). So why not introduce a new character that is a Valkyrie, even the last of her kind, a jaded character that has quit life just as Nesta and then create a story to reignite the myth of the Valkyries into something new that Nesta would accept and embrace.

Although for the life of me I don’t understand why PTSD and healing has to be connected with that sort of training in the first place. Why get a character like Nesta and  turn her into a Xena type of character all of the sudden...because that’s the only way to show inner strength or any kind of strength? I just don’t get it. 

However I did appreciate Nesta’s journey at certain parts although some felt forced in order to accept the Inner Circle bullshit and when people had predicted that in the end Nesta would how to bow and kneel to the ‘awesomeness’ of the Inner Circle so to be welcomed into the Night Court and be redeemed I am pretty sure no one expected this to literally happen. It gave me such a visceral reaction.

I couldn’t have disliked the IC more in this book even if I tried (and boy there were dubious, problematic and outright offensive and abusive things in their behavior) but what I didn’t like was that Nesta didn’t have an interesting story plot wise. Her journey of healing was okay and it has some interesting and beautiful moments but the story surrounding it was sloppy.

I hated the concept/threat of throwing Nesta in the Court of Nightmares but just from a creative perspective it would have made the book a thousand times more interesting. The dynamic felt off in general and in the end it felt as if the main concept was not resolved but the realization came that there was no main concept. 

Say what you will for the first three ACOTAR books but they had a goal, a purpose, a target. Feysand and Feyre’s personal journey were the focus but the their books served far more than that thus making those parts work in a solid (at least as far as these books are concerned) structure. Here we got some treasure hunt but everything was left open ended and it was not even focused entirely on Nesta and Cassian. I felt robbed somehow especially given the dynamic Nesta’s powers had and based on that alone a personal story could have been built upon that potential that got wasted for the most part. We could have gotten an epic storyline and we...did not.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? Nesta DESERVED  a GREAT VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST for her own story and she did not get that (come on Briallyn was such weak sauce and unremarkable)  and I am offended on Nesta’s behalf to be honest LOL

Nesta’s voice and the way she was written was reminiscent of Feyre’s at parts but I assume this is because of the writing style of the author but it still felt jarring if not OOC at parts.

And I felt that some behaviors we had seen in previous books (how Cassian avoided her in Acowar and so on) were overlooked and the good things Nesta did along with the bad (how she went after Feyre after Tamlin took her and how she was ready to sacrifice herself to give Feyre a chance and how she was so focused on saving children and so on) were completely ignored all so to ‘excuse’ how she was treated and how she deserved to be treated that way by all others and how she had to redeem herself. And yeah she had to face her wrongdoings because she had been abusive too but I felt there were double standards concerning her which I did not appreciate in the way the book was written.

In the end I found the sacrifice of her powers a beautiful thing for her personal growth but at the same time I also got the intention behind the writing that has nothing to do with Nesta’s journey and that is disappointing.

There was also the usual writing style/editing that has its issues and I got really tired with the phrase “like calls to like”. Like...okay we got it the first hundred times enough already.

All that been said there were things I enjoyed in the book too.

1. The House... which let’s face it it’s Tardis to Nesta’s Doctor.

2. Nesta’s connection with music and dancing was beautiful.

3. Her love of books? Brilliant.

4. The scene with the Kelpie? QUALITY STUFF! 

5. As was the description of Nesta entering the Cauldron.

6. The scene with her nightmare engulfed in silver flames was amazing too.

7. Hello Nes and Lady Death!

8. Cassian’s protectiveness over Nesta was also nice especially when he was able to man up (no I won’t go for male up LOL) and stand up against certain bullshit behavior targeted at Nesta.

9. Emerie and Gwyn were cute and their relationship with Nesta beautiful although it did also feel rushed at parts. I would have much preferred that build up to have happened with her sisters but given the fuckery of the IC in general I will take this and savor it!

10. Azriel was a relief and I would have liked more interaction between him and Nesta. Brilliant indeed.

11. I HATED Amren but I loved the parallel of what she had once told Nesta:  “When you erupt, girl, make sure it is felt across worlds” and we got this scene when Nesta. (P.s You unmade her...She had it coming LMAO)

12. The cookie offer in the end made me laugh.

13. Overall Nessian was cute and thankfully Cassian wasn’t the same creep he was in Acofas. Although his low esteem and blind servitude left much to be desired at times.

14. The smut at times was making me cringe but the sexual drive and dynamic of the characters felt appropriate given their personalities.

15. I also liked Feyre’s inner thoughts when Eris asked Nesta’s hand in marriage and the way she was protective of Nesta and wanted to end him LOL.

16. Speaking of which...everyone wanting Nesta as their bride was very funny and after a while it kept happening and I couldn’t stop laughing.

17. Nesta’s first “I love you” was given to Feyre and thank you!

I think that’s about it.

[piscesparker]

Undercover Lovers

Mob! Tom AU

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

"No, no, no!" Q exclaimed, he couldn't afford to get fired from job.

Meanwhile, you had just returned to your flat, letting out a sigh of relief you placed your keys on the counter and took of your shoes. Just as you were about to relax a little more your phone rang, you read the caller ID, Q. What would he want now?

"007?" he said shakily.

"What's wrong Q?"

"We- we've been hacked and they stole your files, I think its the London dogs."

"Wait, what? When did this happen?"

"Right after everyone left HQ." He went on to explain about the missing files, him loosing his job.

"Q listen to me, calm down. No one is going to fire you. Have you informed M?" you asked.

"No, I haven't yet, but if I do she'll fire me, can we keep this in between us? I'll work on your security more so that more files aren't leaked."

"Okay, but let me know if you get anything more."

"Of course 007." He reassured.

–

"Tom where are you going?" Harrison called out before his friend to step out of the door. "Out." he replied not meeting Harrison's eyes.

"What do you mean out? Its the 15th time this month, what the hell are you up to?"

"None of ya business!" He said before the slamming the door shut. For a person who was hiding from the world, this was the most secretive he's been, so Harrison decided to follow him.

–

It was yet another day for you. As you stood behind the counter making a fresh pot of coffee Janet, another waitress came up to you,"Hey, your 11:30's here." As soon as she informed you, a small blush crept up your face. Funny right? How a complete stranger could make a cold hearted killer like you turn into a school girl who has a crush.

"The usual?" you beamed at him. "Yes, please." Tom nodded. Going behind the counter back again when Janet interrupted you, "He's cute!" making your cheeks turn scarlet red. With a soft smile you placed the cup of tea and plate of croissant in front of him as he mouthed a small 'thank you'.

"Excuse me!" he called out.

"Is something wrong?" you asked the brunet.

'This is it. Its now or never' he thought to himself. "No, no nothings wrong. I just wanted to ask if you'd like to get dinner with me? Maybe this Friday?" For the first time in your life you've been asked out, because with a job like yours, you never made time for your life. But then you realized the day.

Friday. Masquerade party mission.

"Oh, I'm sorry I can't." You said with an apologetic smile, which actually shattered his heart, because, it was his first time asking someone out; usually he didn't have to, as he always had any girl he wanted. But you surely were different. You could see how his face dropped at your reply. "I have plans, but can we reschedule?"

This reply immediately made Tom's face light up "Yeah, sure! How does Monday sound?"

"Sounds great."

As Tom exited the petite cafe, he came to face to face with a somewhat angry Harrison, leaving him a bit startled. "Seriously? A waitress? This is why you've been acting weird lately?" The blonde barked at him. Instead Tom ignored his friends' questions and continued walking with a wide grin on his face. "I'm not done talking with yo- why are you smiling?"

"You want me to slap that grin off your face before you can tell me?"

"Fine!" Tom sighed, "I've been coming here for the past month and I-I asked her out today." Harrison had never seen this side of Tom, falling for a girl was never his style, so he took it upon himself to find out about the girl that stole his best friends heart. Because that's what best friends do.

–

As soon as they returned to the mansion, the young mobster went to his office and Harrison went to Harry's lab.

"I need you to run a name for me." he demanded.

"Did Tom ask for it?"

"No, but I need you to do it."

"Why?"

"Because I have my suspicions on someone."

"Suspicions on someone or stalking someone?" Harry arched his brow and chuckled.

"Will you just run the damn name?" Harrison was on the verge of losing his patience.

"Okay, okay what's the name?"

"Y/n Y/l/n" Typing down the name Harry waited for the information to pop up on the screen. The minute this screens were filled with photos and information, the curly haired boys' face turned white as if he had just seen a ghost. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed under his breath. During this time Harrison was pacing around the room awaiting for some information. When he heard Harry's soft exclaim his turned his attention to him. "What's wrong?" He asked coming over and placing himself in front of the computer screen. "We have to tell Tom before he makes the biggest mistake of his life."