#and its never lucianis

[nozomijoestar]

Hey. Lili as well

The Lili De Rochefort Case File

The Asuka Essay

My first impression of them

A bitch. Buffoon. Loved the self-assured and calculating vibe; Karin Kanzuki in Tekken but make her overtly fruity and even more commanding. Even if she dangles whether or not she's gonna help someone, she ultimately still helps. GirlBoss attitude you either love or hate. Like Asuka I saw her for the first time in the SFxT trailer and I was so confused as to why she left Asuka behind after she did get serious helping her; I thought she'd be a backstabbing villain. By extension if Lili was a villain maybe Asuka was also since they were a team, or maybe Lili was blackmailing her or something. I wanted to play her for the drama jskdfjak Looking back now that trailer is still gay from her perspective; I love the little smile she throws Asuka's way when they pair up to go 2 v 2.

When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

Like Asuka the SFxT gameplay sealed the deal for me. I had to play them both or pair one with Ibuki whenever I wasn't pairing her with Sakura, cuz I hated that Rolento was Ibuki's official tag partner so I never used him. I saw Lili's super finisher and her Pandora form in YT videos and it made her look even cooler. (For fun here is Asuka's and Ibuki's - Asuka reacts to Lili dying then her receiving uncontrollable power that hijacks your mind like OOOH I Get to go All Out Now! whereas poor Ibuki is like It's no use, I can't control it!) To my surprise Lili wasn't a villain at all in the story mode she was just cunty and silly. She wants the Pandora Box just because its status might benefit her Dad despite having no idea what it does, and her devotion to achieving her goal was magnetic.

I also loved how she was ready to fight Asuka for the Pandora Box but the minute they lose it because of her own nonsense she just cries so pathetically jsfksdjf But unbeknownst to her Pandora would have made them kill each other like the other teams. I went back to Tekken 6 to learn more about her there too, and that's when I saw the extent of her connection to Asuka.

To this day I can't play her well in Tekken itself at all, but I used to have so much fun playing her rushdown style in SFxT. A lot of her new Tekken 8 moves look like they gave her back some SFxT stuff so that she plays faster now; I'm hoping she'll be easier for me to use.

A song that reminds me of them

Amel Bent - Pardonnez-Moi

Clara Luciani - La Grenade

How many people I ship them with

Her lame boyfriend, her equally rock headed "Mon Coeur"

My favorite ship of them

AsuLili Nation Rise!!!

THEY CANONICALLY MET ONLY THREE TIMES LOLLL

I have to start by outlining how I see Lili's arc as a coming out narrative. She has a childhood where she fits into what's expected of her and within her family. Then during the start of adolescence, she has an experience (getting kidnapped for ransom in this case) that awakens a feeling she's never known before but it's thrilling, it feels part of her and it changes her outlook, her desires. This puts her at odds with her family and those old expectations, because this new desire clashes against their principles. She has to hide what she is in order to keep fitting in, because she still loves her family and wants to keep her position. She thinks she can have both if she keeps them separate and secret from each other.

Then she meets someone who can be open about sharing the same desire she does. And this person isn't just open about it, they embrace it and thrive in a way she feels she can't. There is jealousy and shock but also joy and exhilaration. There's finally someone who gets her, who's made of the same core she is in the drive they share. The pull is so strong eventually she leaves what's old and having to hide behind her to be around what allows her to embrace her true nature.

That is Lili's relationship with awakening to violence and martial arts, her relationship to Asuka, and the hiding it all from her father because of his disapproval. It shares the same beats LGBT stories face. She's gone from "in the closet" tip toeing around her father so she can fight, to "on the fence" meeting and having her perceptions shattered by Asuka, to "out" by leaving Dad's influence to fully embrace fighting and Asuka. It's not just about the homoerotic tension from fighting each other, it's also gay by how it aligns the situation into likely an unintentional allegory for LGBT experiences mixed with coming of age. So I don't think it's reading too much into it to say Lili is homosexual if you just go by what is in the Tekken games; to say nothing of how much gay material they put her in for crossovers or spin offs. Whether it was done on purpose or not, her narrative itself is gay.

And going by that it doesn't take much then to view her as being infatuated with Asuka. Not only as a fighter but physical attraction and from clashing against her personality. Asuka is special to her for being the one who finally broke her "perfect" world. By that metric alone Lili is not letting anyone harm or get in Asuka's way because in her eyes that is now someone important- like her Father or Sebastian.

I say this because like I mentioned in the Asuka essay, it feels as if her theatrics moving into Asuka's house and fixing her dojo is in fact a cover. We have prior history showing Lili despises Mishimas. It makes sense from many angles to stay close to someone your enemies can use as to block them off. It would mean they can't make a move on that person without you knowing immediately. It would mean if something does happen you can respond on the spot and at least put up a fight.

Not a single Mishima finger will touch Asuka Kazama nor will anything inconvenience her without Lili having the chance to intervene. She could care deeply for Asuka and her infatuation, or she could be simply saying 'My enemies won't take what she brings away from me'. More than likely it's both. In the worst case scenario which doesn't look like its gonna be canon to be honest, it could even mean 'I will humiliate her before the Mishimas can'. But again I don't think that makes sense and there's no solid indication for it. If she truly viewed Asuka as a "thing" she would discard her the same way she does her father's material gifts.

If she didn't like her on some level she would either ignore her or seek to eliminate her, given what she's done in T5 & T6 as well as her vengeful sadist streak against those she hates in 6. People who think Lili is hating Asuka did not pay attention to how she views Jin, or how she treated Lars. That is her hate at most and her venom at least. Asuka would already be dead or Lili would die trying if it was hate. She wouldn't make such an effort to act generous or playful/teasing at ALL; and as implied in her T8 machine translated bio, (from which I can confirm it does still say she bought the dojo with pocket money in JP) do so without telling her father yet again. Asuka is deathly important to her for one reason or another regardless of how you view her methods. Her "affections" as Sebastian points out are very clear.

Their three meetings so far were like trial runs. Lili gets a feel for Asuka and keeps being drawn to her over and over. She's attached and she attaches easily because she has no non familial company she doesn't pay to be around her. She may not even have entirely admitted it to herself yet (because of the problems recognizing her feelings much less exposing them), which may be controversial to say. But she's pulled by the drive to bond with her. It is still at the border between infatuation and falling in love, in my opinion. Lili views Asuka through the sense of what purpose they have in common, what ways Asuka will thrill her, through excitement and fascination. She hasn't seemed to realize she doesn't properly communicate with or understand Asuka as a full person.

So she chases that high of their similarities and first impressions and invests her strong emotions down that perception for now. I think though, given how loyal she is to loved ones, once she listens to and understands Asuka she will connect fiercely. The passion of the infatuation stage boils over to intense love and devotion. Lili is like a kicked puppy looking for meaning she's never had. To be seen in a way she's never been. I'm not surprised she doesn't know how to handle this situation in a normal way.

At least I hope repair and honesty is the angle the writers take. Otherwise this is all for nothing and wouldn't just waste the character, it'd drag Asuka's arc down further. There'd truly be no justification for Lili's character and why they bothered tying her to Asuka in the first place. There'd also be no way for Lili to redeem herself and the stress she's caused.

Though if I'm being fair to her, she has been remarkably mild actually. As far as canon goes all she's done is show up for one unofficial rematch, which is annoying but understandable. She goes home. Then when the Mishima's terror on the world grows too strong, when her own family is weakened by them, she goads Asuka to meet her through the only outlet they've had so she can announce the world is going to shit, Asuka could be forced into it, and she is here to give aid and stick around just in case. That's it.

The motives don't justify her manipulating Asuka (very poorly anyway) into the 7th Tournament; the methods and desires do have clear boundaries though. She's not trying to live up her ass 24/7 or constantly seeking to humiliate her every waking second. Fans are the ones who made that shit up and don't bother thinking about evidence. It's like talking to a wall and the wall can't fucking read anything other than a toddler shapes book. I can't tell how much is ignorance, stupidity, or actively projecting maliciousness (and their homophobia), but people twist their relationship to reactionary extremes that make little to no fucking sense. Or they interpret it entirely through exaggerated memes and surface impressions. Or some are just pedophiles fixed on porn of them. It's extremely frustrating.

EDIT 11/15/2023: I have been further vindicated on this!!!! Harada revealed Lili's mother is an awful person who treated her like shit and influenced Lili's personality. She modeled love and affection as something to be dangled and twisted.

Of course Lili treats Asuka the way she does and struggles giving her straight answers. Nobody ever did that for her. No one ever showed her love as something more than not being listened to and not doing much listening. She would ask for anything and get vague responses that barely matched what she expressed. Her voice was ignored and turned on her. This still doesn't excuse her!!! But now we can better understand everything she's done. It gives new subtext. This was a big reveal that explains so much and can help predicting what'll happen next.

Anyway AsuLili Gay Tom and Jerry, recognition of the self through the other, the homoeroticism, the repression, the stubborn draw toward one another. They have all that. They're so funny when you put them in a situation but under everything they'd complete each other. I said what I needed to say on that in Asuka's analysis. I hope Lili drops her entire guard around Asuka and leans on her, asks to be leaned on in return. Vive le sex gay etc etc.

The only thing that can match a gorilla is another, equally crazy gorilla. Their enemy is the same. And they'll regret ever fucking with them.

ALSO! DO NOT FORGET THAT LILI'S HIDDEN AFFECTION MECHANIC IN TT2 MEANS SHE'S INSTANTLY PISSED WHENEVER ASUKA TAKES DAMAGE!!!

I love you Netsu System <3

EDIT: I have to add that just as I said the same thing in my Asuka essay, nobody told Lili to do what she does. Nobody ever asks her to attempt looking out for them, her dad never says he wants her to fight to protect, avenge, or honor him. She does the exact same thing Asuka does; gives in to her emotions and uses them as an excuse to do what she wants. They are the same character lmao

My least favorite ship of them

I have seen people take her with Ganryu seriously...people would rather be homophobic and pedophilic just to put a girl with a man for any reason

A quote of them that you remember

"You surely don't believe you can beat me?"

(Tekken 8 has the BEST line read for that yet by far)

Your favorite outfit of them

Walk walk fashion baby

Your least favorite outfit of them

What the actual fuck was this; gross on every level, even Asuka doesn't want to look

Describe the character in one sentence

The Squall.

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

My old friend, that bitch. 💖

Sexuality hc!

D SLUR D SLUR D SLUR D- (Lesbian, have you seen this bitch) QUEEN F*GGOT

If it's not that for whatever reason then it's Oui, avec des hommes...des femmes...avec d' autres...

Your favorite friendship they have

Lili technically has no friends per se. Sebastian works for her so there's always that hierarchy between them. Asuka is the closest thing she has to a friend if only because they keep each other's company among other things, but they don't talk about or do activities the way normal friends do. I do love the way Sebastian supports her no matter how ridiculous she gets, even against her Dad. She's like his child too in a way, that might be part of why he dotes on her aside from fulfilling the loyal butler trope. Lili not having friends despite being a trust fund baby though? What a loser! jdfikajdasj Pathetic little Minou; I'm sure this is contributing wonders to her psyche. The closest other person I can think of is when they paired her with Leo for the non canon online comic. Every time I've seen art with them together its always funny, so there's that lol.

Best storyline they had

It hasn't happened yet in my opinion, Tekken 8 feels like she's finally gonna get a proper plot and I'm hoping they give her something to shine in. I say that because like Asuka she doesn't really have a storyline, she's a character who makes one off appearances to serve as a convenience (giving Lars his SUV in 6) or is the one off rich girl trope. This is of course whenever she's not involved with Asuka- I find it so funny they've canonically only met three times??? Three times! Once when Asuka first beat her, again at Asuka's school to fight her then run home, and again at the 7th Iron Fist tourney. Outside of that she's twice tried to stop Mishimas from stressing her dad out but when it doesn't work she immediately gives up. That's pretty much it. She has a handful of events that happen to her worse than Asuka's track record for the same thing.

Worst storyline they had

Nothing applies because I feel like everything she's gotten has either built implications about her relationship to her father or her relationship to Asuka, or both. Or it builds on her disdain for Jin and Mishimas. The only possible exception is that comic where she moved in with Asuka, but that's moreso her poor characterization rather than the gag plotline itself. Speaking though of bad canon characterization, whatever hardcore sadist shit they were going for in T6 makes me uncomfortable whenever I see things from Scenario Campaign. It's very one note, too edgy, and she's 16 in that game so trying to make her sound like a violent killer crossed with a dominatrix who is practically **cumming** mid threatening dialogue is especially gross. It was her first game after T5 so they probably were testing what direction to take her character. I'm glad they moved away from that angle to be honest, but we can keep her hate for Jin, it's understandable and adds to her. A lot of that T6 dialogue makes her seem shallow and its hard to sift for what's insightful.

A childhood headcanon

Did not eat worms or take risks and tussle outside all day long. Wished she could though beneath conforming to normalcy, and that subconscious desire for something daring became her drive for battle when it awakened.

What do you think their first word was?

Money, unironically, because she'd heard her dad use that word enough times coming home from meetings. Everyone looked at her and went Oh look she's truly his little heiress already thinking of business! sjfkjfksjf

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

Spoiled little shit getting lots of material things, having her way as long as she could still look perfect for her family, and being doted on in the sense of a show dog. Also already proud of what her family is supposed to represent with their status even if she's too young to understand it, because adults keep telling her how successful the De Rocheforts are. More than likely acted out often for attention whenever trying to be perfect didn't get her affection she wanted.

I imagine her parents were busy with the business, especially her Dad since she's constantly trying to do things that he'll praise and notice her for. Rather than spend much quality time he tries buying her off with expensive things she doesn't care about. He probably does love her for her to have that attachment at all (or she thinks being given the slightest of his attention is enough to make him great in her eyes because that attention is so rare), but because he's busy and strict about what values she should have, he's distant and can't connect to who she is as a person due to his own morals.

As a kid she wouldn't understand all this, so it created this crisis of trying to please others while being herself, thinking she has to do something great or extraordinary to have value. It's not enough for her to exist and be loved, love has to be earned by increasingly drastic acts. If she proves herself over and over then finally she'll be worth accepting and staying around for.

The isolation, expectations, and perfectionism that fuck her up later would start early. Sebastian would've been the only adult she could count on for unconditional familial-like love; but because she internalized not expressing care directly she doesn't always know how to express that back to him the way he does for her.

The most random ship you've seen people have with them

JIN? HELLO? JIN? THE GROWN MAN SHE HATES FOR A VARIETY OF REASONS? THAT JIN? JIN?

A weird headcanon

Collecting dolls and plushies itself is not weird, but she arranges her collection in dioramas and protection circles around her room and bed. Every day and night. Walking into her room is like having an army stare you down; she's overly attached to them in this sense because she has no human friends. When she initially moved in with Asuka in my fic, Asuka had her sleep in a futon on the floor; the plushies guard that thing 24/7. She's still quite childish and lonely like that.

When do you think they were at their happiest?

Every time she sees Asuka; every time she thinks about Asuka the longer they know each other. Briefly whenever she succeeds in getting her father's positive attention. Every time Sebastian has looked out for her before she realized she needed the support. She appreciates him enough to have taught him some of her fighting style for Tag 2 if I remember right. I'm sure even if she doesn't always say it, she's happy when she feels he understands her. 

When do you think they were at their lowest?

Also Tekken 6 like Asuka, but I want to extend this to include the short time gap before T7. She has already failed at winning any glory for her father in a pathetically short lived attempt during T5. Asuka is fixed in her mind not just for revenge but because failing to advance thanks to her, meant failing the father she loves when she wanted to do good by him. Then suddenly the Mishima Zaibatsu takes everything from them. Effectively holds them hostage to use their oil for their global wars over utter bullshit they can't resolve between themselves. Lili is rendered powerless once again at helping her father, even his health fails. Consumed with rage she runs off to stop at nothing to kill Jin if he will not relinquish what he's stolen. Again she fails.

There's no hope left and no way out, except for one last bet. If she can't yet save her father she can still do something for Asuka Kazama. Thus starts Tekken 7 with a Lili who's probably holding back all that rage and fear to look cool in front of the one person she thinks she has left to impress.

If T6 Lili sounds familiar to Asuka's arc, I really think they did that on purpose. Make them lose everything over and over; render them powerless despite their might. Drain all happiness save for the will to meet tomorrow.

Future headcanon

Does not succeed the Rochefort empire but passes that role on to someone else so she can stay with/around Asuka and help her. She still technically has access to the family money but she uses it to fund whatever Asuka needs, for philanthropy, and invests that further into supporting martial arts which is her true calling. Succeeding her father's position is never something she actually seems to care about as opposed to maintaining his health and honor. If she fights for the company it's only because she cares about him not the business itself. And because their morals and philosophies are at odds, Lili would probably think it better for her father's legacy if someone else who could do the job right took on his burdens. As opposed to her, who loves him but doesn't see eye to eye with him including professionally. Despite their differences she'd want him to be comfortable in retirement.

I think eventually she expands her fighting style moving from jetting to street fights and tourneys into formal training. She hops around from school to school devoting years to different styles- Feng Wei but without the need to conquer other dojos and become the most powerful ever. Sebastian of course is there serving and helping until whenever he would pass on, because he cares for her personally. If she and Asuka aren't married or a couple then they still remain in touch, still rivals but out of mutual affection and testing each other's skill this time. She loves pop music too so maybe using her nepo baby status to snag a recording gig and see if that fits her lol.

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

Like Asuka, any time she doubts or is afraid because she's just as proud and will rebuke anyone coming close to guessing her true feelings. Also secrets like how much she loves those close to her, the full details of her feelings on them.

When do you think they acted the most ooc

That entire online comic where they originally had her move in with Asuka. Horrid. Completely tipped her character over to the creepy irredeemable controlling stalker who sexually harasses Asuka and gropes her because Haha She's Gay And Lesbians Prey On Women! They don't know what No means! Everything about her was stripped back for the sake of a homophobic stereotype as a punchline. And the assault "gags" weren't even attempting to be darkly funny gags they were just creepy; then on top of all that they still found a way to sexualize Lili with things like explicit crotch shots and shit. When I see people like it just because Lili does overtly gay things I throw up in my mouth a little, how do you not think when looking at it eugh. Lili is not in the right for pestering Asuka but she still has her limits and straightforward reasons for it, rather than being a complete caricature.

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

The short conversation about her "affections", Asuka's T7 ending, complimenting Sebastian, all of her T8 trailer interactions counting her intro (it was cute seeing her try to dismiss caring for Salt when she faces her opponent, as well as her little smile and the subtle shift in her eyes when taunting Asuka- it feels affectionate rather than intimidating), threatening to kill Lars if he doesn't kill Jin, being sad she couldn't fight Asuka in T6, and demanding Jin restore De Rochefort Enterprises. All of these involve her guard being lowered and her emotions coming out away from her Cool Sassy Bitch demeanor. The front has been fun but I want to see more of this heart on her sleeve Lili in the future, at least around those she cares about.

The look I give girls when I "hate" them and don't want to tongue them silly and am NOT in love with everything about them and I would HATE if I showed them La Petit Mort because I don't want her carnally and I'm NOT thinking about taking her last name in sickness and health:

Side note do you think one of Lili's moments in T8 is gonna be asking Lars why the fuck Jin isn't dead yet, when she EXPLICITLY asked that twunk be obliterated. I want to see it.

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who

would be the most fun for them to meet?

Ok I feel bad but I can't think of anyone I may edit this answer

The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

BLOWING UP A LIMO TO REJOICE IN THE GLORY OF COMBAT

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

That child is getting spoiled their entire life; even long after they're an adult what Lili sees first is her cute little baby. She buys them things but emotionally she's also got a pretty overbearing streak with wanting them safe and happy. She doesn't read it as this or see the problem it can be though until it makes her kid lash out and feel suffocated. I feel like even with Asuka if you were to point out to Lili her overbearing side when it comes to caring for others, she takes it as a personal attack/failure because to her it's like, "Well would you rather I not care about you? I care so it justifies most of my behavior." She doesn't quite understand yet that's not how that works. People need independence and are allowed their own responses to your actions. That you can hurt people by not allowing them control over themselves.

It's difficult for her to remember moderation. It would be easy to see where this comes from because on one hand she grew up at odds with her father so she doesn't want to repeat that. On the other hand she also grew up wanting his affection and approval for many things, so she thinks she'll receive that same loyalty by being so dedicated on her end. She's doting in a very lofty sense and her child's honest perspective would need to bring her back down to earth when she gets to be too much. They'd be closer once she accepts not smothering them.

But also I think Lili would be perfectly fine raising a cat or two with Asuka, rather than them having a baby necessarily so it can go either way lol Realistically they probably do just stick to pampered pets, like Salt. Lili's attitude then would be something like "Why do we need children when we have sweet angels right here!" *hugging the life out of all their pets*

She tries to convince Asuka they can take care of a bear once; Asuka nearly has a heart attack. They do not get a bear.

The funniest scene they had?

All of it. She's a professional clown. BUT my favorite is her T5 ending. "I have protected Daddy's earnings by destroying his competition!" *triggers an economic collapse bankrupting her family*

[spadotto-ottodespade]

S P O I L E R details for all the season

Things I don't wanna get:

- Angelica and the toxic man had children.

- Nadia and her 'great love and loss for Aureliano' that wanted to die at 20 years(?)

They said a possible sequel could be on the female characters.... Yeah, great (all the fights at beginning, recreating Spadino/Aureliano moments for nothing)

Useless death, It was like watching a cheap teen drama by Netflix. So Manfredi's son killing her 'sister', even if you tried u didn't get my revival tears😑

Her hairstyle😑

- Alberto killed his 'Spadino' going away from the city, new life, new boyfriend... But at the end he decides that THAT is Its family and he stays... So Aureliano's sacrifice means nothing.

His hairstyle😑

Metus will be part of the gang?!?!?

Burning all the Spadino's clothes (I wanted to die) to say goodbye to the past for nothing. I'm still wondering: where the hell is Aureliano's beanie?

They did it👏👏 they ruined my Spadino.

(I saw Aureliano in Mesut at the end, the laugh I made)

Oh: I'm never gonna wait for them to fu*k, for sure.

- name a more toxic father than Cinaglia. I'm sorry I can't take him as seriously as Samurai/Aureliano. His and Alberto's emotional scenes...please.

- the girl buried in a church case, what a shame to tell a story on THAT way in our country

- I moved forward on every Vatican scenes because I didn't care less, it was boring, including Cinaglia and the wanna-be-prime-minister.

- Okay, It's 3 years after what happened... But I'm watching and I want to feel Aureliano in town, flashback with scenes attached from the mothership isn't enough. It's like that meant nothing especially for 'Albè', I need to watch other useless eps to some words?

Too many action scenes

At some point I couldn't listen to the songs anymore, the rap is missing

Positive:

No tradition at the post credits

- the Luciani's can't become the Adami's, It's science🤷

Guerino and Alberto's moments.

Victor, Alberto can adopt him. Vic take Spadino to the hairsaloon.

Ercole is cool, the Lele💔

Cinaglia's daughter... Got a secret that will she keep?👀

Showing the camps, the shops of Sinti

I can't find more.

[miles-is-so-gay]

💕my fave female girlie is probably ada, i cant believe her and leon are both goth and trans

❤️oh god fave male girlie is very hard but ill try and chose a top three 1) ethan winters bc he is my wife 2) parker luciani and 3) albert wesker i love men so much aaaaaaaa i wish they were real

👀first got into resident evil when i watched 8-bit ryan play the re2 remake and then re7 in 2019-ish i believe, but as for when i got autistic about it, that was in around maybe march-april of this year (2023) when i hacked my ds and played revelations. i fell in love with parker and he became my husband

🎮fave main game HAS to be 7 bc a) ethan winters (my wife) b) i LOVE the outlast insp behind that game SO MUCH IM SO AUTISTIC ABOUT OUTLAST GRHA and c) scares the everloving shit out of me (as a horror game should)

🕹️revelations for the 3ds bc im gay, and also its the first resi game i’ve actually ever played, and also IT WAS SO FUCKJNG GOOD LIKE WHY DID CAPCOM NEVER DO ANOTHER 3DS PORT THAT SHIT WENT SO HARD WAAAAA

💥probably has to be either re6 or revelations 2. i havent played to much of either game but re6 is shit bc a) wesker has a son (?????? wesker is clearly a RAGING homosexual i refuse to even ACKNOWLEDGE jakes existence) b) feels like its built to played 2 player (i dont have friends who own the game or have the hardware to play it) and c) I DO NIT LIKE JAKE MULLER I WANT TO CREMATE HIM other than that the over the top goofiness is really fun to watch but not so much to play. as for revelations 2, the story and mechanics seem fine like really ok but i cant get past the beginning section with the fire spitter thing bc again, the game feels like its not meant for a single player experience

👹counting wesker, ethan, and heisenberg as b.o.w.s bc like they are but if we talking actual monsters with like 1 braincell between all of them then i wanna say the hunters or cerberus’ bc they are so silly or the giant plaga salamander bc it is also so silly

👑hobo trash magneto obviously, i fucking love old men with strength and chub but i do not like his voice, they 100% chose the wrong va for him bc he just sounds like elvis if he was a weatherman, other than that 10/10 but im going to dunk him in clorox, i think he moght need it

😇MY WIFE ETHAN THEY CUT HIM SHORT HE DIDNT HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT AND THIS ALSO ENDS REALLY ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE WINTERS’ AND MAYBE EVEN THE MOLD ALL TOGETHER AND I HATE IT WAAAAAAAAAAAAA

🚨probably. i think mia is actually a cool character like is she fucked up? yeah but i love men that have done worse so eh. i also think jessica is ok bc shes kinda a girlboss, she doesnt care if she gets hypothermia from the one WHOLE leg out of her suit and honestly? bad bitch behavior. she needs to keep slaying

📺GOD YES I DO! they are all so goofy and over the top, especially vendetta. i love watching them with my friends on a call and then we all yell about leon or chris’ ass lmao

⭐️weskie☺️☺️☺️☺️ he is (in my hc anyways) the silliest but most traumatized gay autistic creature i have ever seen and i want to give him a bowl of soup or smthn. that or let him experiment on me haha

💎im very casual usually, but if an achievement is easy to get i will 100% go out of my way to try and get it. i like difficulty but not so much that i want to yell and throw my mouse and keyboard/ds/steamdeck/other device

🔮i hope we get more mold content and mia content if she’s still alive (idk if she is tbh) i can pray but ik ethan wont be coming back :( something else that would be interesting would be a return of wesker, and seeing how his and chris’ dynamic has probably changed now that chris is like trying to embody his style idk

📖ofc i do im autistic but it comes in sections bc of just how much there is. so at first it was just really focused on chris and leon, then wesker and revelations, then homestuck and resi combined, and now im hyperfixated on 7 and 8 bc ethan is my wifey

💍multiple faves tbh, chrisker (chris/wesker), chreon (chris/leon), wintersberg (ethan/heisenberg), and mithan (mia/ethan (t4t couple of the century tbh (really only super into it when its boiled down to ethan being “i love my wife :)” or “i miss my wife :(“)))

🦠kind of, i definitely fucking LOVE the mold so much bc that shit really gets my brain terribly scared like omg, snd the t-abyss is very silly to me, i wish got more of it.

🌎i went down this rabbithole of self inserts (not ocs that are vaguely tied to me) when i was in 5th grade and not dojng that shit again, learned my lesson on how much shame that would bring future me

🎨occasionally, i do art of the characters some times but still have yet to post any writing about it

🪄either bringing ethan back to life or removing jake from existence bc i fuckign hate him

🔪if theres an option for stealth, i like snipers and silenced weapons but if i know i have to go guns blazing its 100% a shotty for me

😈wesker i love him so much he did so much wrong but he has childhood trauma and his ass is really tight i dont think it was on purpose/ref

🏆revelations for the 3ds!

✏️”ive sent my right hand to dispose of you.” “youre right hand comes off?” i cant believe they removed that its a fucking tragedy

⏰parker luciani, hes only appeared in one game and then a manga and thats it, i need to see more of british itallian ass, if i dont i’ll DIE

Send me an emoji!

(Resident Evil edition)

💕Who’s your favourite female character?

❤️Who’s your favourite male character?

👀When did you first get into resident evil?

🎮What’s favourite main game? (0-8 and Code Veronica)

🕹What’s your favourite side game? (Eg: Revelations, Operation Raccoon city)

💥In your opinion, which game is the worst?

👹Favourite B.O.W?

👑Who’s your favourite of the four lords?

😇A character you wish didn’t die?

🚨Do you have an opinion that is deemed unpopular?

📺Do you enjoy the CGI movies?

⭐️Favourite member of STARS?

💎Do you like to complete the game 100%/platinum it or are you more of a casual player?

🔮 What would you like to see happen in future games?

📖Do you like learning about the lore? Is there a specific part you like learning the most?

💍 Do you have a favourite ship?

🦠Do you have a preferred virus/parasite?

🌎If you were to wake up in the RE universe one day, what game would you like to be in and what role would you have?

🎨Are you a creator for the fandom or a supporter? If yes, what do you create?

🪄If you could change one thing in the games, what would it be?

🔪Is there a preferred type of weapon you like to use?

😈Who’s your favourite villain?

🏆What was your first game?

✏️Do you have a favourite line/quote?

⏰Are there any characters you wish had more screen time?

[lunarglow-chronicles]

compassionate lust.

08.01.23 Compassionate lust. It’s not a feeling, it’s a state of being. It’s fluid, once you get it inside but can't really remember when or how, and it constantly flows inside you: sometimes in a quiet, calm way in the rush of daily life but you can’t ignore its existence there. Most of the other times, it makes you feel alive with the unmissable, rare rush of feelings in the most compressed and intense ways. It makes you feel like you’ve always been longing for the highest levels of intimacy that you never know. It makes you realize your passions and desires for life, for living your life at the fullest and deepest, and highest. It’s so real, so raw, so deep and intense that it grows and it grows into your heart, your mind, all of your senses you know in your body, and even into places you don’t know inside your soul. It’s a state of being very conscious and unconscious of what you feel, what you desire at the same time. It makes you realize and remind what you forget: how much you’re capable to feel, desire, and how you are able to grow and reflect your very owned, beloved passions to someone, with the deepest desire of making it flow into them in the most passionate, compassionate, transforming, healing way while fearing of touching since they are so strong and intense that you can even hurt. So with intensive care, you can’t risk touching recklessly to give it all, and relentlessly search for the ways to make it flow in the most compassionate ways, in a deep longing and desire to be in, fully dissolve into each other, melting and being one. That’s what makes lust everlasting. It’s like a desire to create magic and believe the cosmic level of connections exists, while it also scares you as hell. It’s so intimate, warm, and vulnerable at the same time, that it makes you and all the layers of your soul fully transparent. Yet still, it’s so irresistible and lustful to chase after that “burning bright and lighting up around while bathing you in the beautiful golden rays of sunshine” and the gentle touch of moonlight on your skin when everything else is drowned in the darkness of night kind of experiences. It’s chasing after that the one feeling of feeling alive with your all existence, your body, your soul, and all the universe as a whole, and feeling safe, loved, cared, desired, and all the complex, mixed feelings to unlock. Feeling like you are just right there, where you should be, where you always wander around to find the way to come there for your whole life. Feeling like finding all the answers, missing puzzle pieces. Feeling completed, as a whole, at the moment, in the flow. Compassionate lust is a gift, even if it's hard to embrace and live it. It's the one feeling to search for, all your life. 'Cause, it's worth it.

[rwood2477]

St. Malachy O'Morgair (1094 - 1148)

St. Malachy has been given much recent attention due to his accurate predictions of the past two popes. Saint Malachy was born in 1094 at Armagh, Ireland and died on November 2, 1148.

St. Malachy was canonized in 1190 by Pope Clement III. This was the first papal canonization of an Irish saint.

While in Rome in 1139 St. Malachy received a vision showing him all the Popes from his day to the end of time. He wrote poetic descriptions of each of the pontiffs and presented the complete manuscript to Pope Innocent II, but the prophecies were forgotten in the Vatican until 1590.

These mottoes in the prophecies usually refer to a family name, birthplace, a coat-of-arms, or an office held before election to the papacy. For example, Pope Pius II, who was Pope for just 26 days in 1503, was prophesied by St. Malachy as "De Parvo Homine," which means 'from a little man.' His family name was Piccolomini, Italian for "little man."

Also, St. Malachy sometimed use the Pope's personal history to make a motto. Pope Clement XIII (1758), who had conenctions with the government of the Italian state of Umbria and whose emblem was a rose, was called by Malachy 'Rosa Umbriae,' the "Rose of Umbria."

According to the St. Malachy prophecies, only one Pope remains after Benedict XVI. Below you will find the last 9 Popes as predicted by St. Malachy, each beginning with the motto ascribed to the pontiff.

1. The Burning Fire. PIUS X. 1903-1914. This Pope showed a burning passion for spiritual renewal in the Church. 

2. Religion Laid Waste. BENEDICT XV. 1914-1922. During this Pope’s reign saw Communism move into Russia where religious life was laid waste, and World War I with the death of millions of Christians who were carnage in Flanders Field and elsewhere. 

3. Unshaken Faith. PIUS XI. 1922-1939. This Pope faced tremendous pressure from fascist and sinister powers in Germany and Italy, but he was an outspoken critic of Communism and Fascism which enraged Hitler. 

4. An Angelic Shepherd. PIUS XII. 1939-1958. This Pope had an affinity for the spiritual world and received visions which have not been made public. Peter Bander says Pius XII "has emerged as one of the great Popes of all time," and he "was in the truest sense of the word an Angelic Pastor to the flock..." 

5. Pastor and Mariner. JOHN XXIII. 1958-1963. John was a pastor to the world, much beloved, and the Patriarch of Venice. The connection to "mariner" is thus remarkable. 

6. Flower of Flowers. PAUL VI. 1963-1978. Paul’s coat-of-arms depicts three fleurs-de-lis, corresponding to Malachay’s prophecy. His coat of arms included three fleurs-de-lis (iris blossoms). 

7. Of the Half Moon. JOHN PAUL I. 1978-1978. John Paul I was elected Pope on August 26, 1978, when there was a half moon. He reigned 33 days, that is, about one month, when he died, although many think he was murdered. He was the 109th Pope - is "De Medietate Lunae" (Of the Half Moon). The corresponding pope was John Paul I (1978-78), who was born in the diocese of Belluno (beautiful moon) and was baptized Albino Luciani (white light). He became pope on August 26, 1978, when the moon appeared exactly half full. It was in its waning phase. He died the following month, soon after an eclipse of the moon. 

8. The Labor of the Son. JOHN PAUL II. 1978-2005. Pope John Paul II was the most traveled Pope in history. He circled the globe numerous times, preaching to huge audiences everywhere he went. He survived an assassination attempt. He has written a book which has enjoyed a large circulation. Like the sun which never ceases to labor and provides light daily, this Pope has been incessant. He was born on May 18, 1920. On that date in the morning there was a near total eclipse of the sun over Europe. Prophecy - The 110th Pope is "De Labore Solis" (Of the Solar Eclipse, or, From the Toil of the Sun). Like the sun he came out of the East (Poland). 

9. The Glory of the Olive. The Order of St. Benedict has said this Pope will come from their order. It is interesting that Jesus gave his apocalyptic prophecy about the end of time from the Mount of Olives. This Pope will reign during the beginning of the tribulation Jesus spoke of. The 111th prophesy is "Gloria Olivae" (The Glory of the Olive). The Order of Saint Benedict has claimed that this pope will come from their ranks. Saint Benedict himself prophesied that before the end of the world his Order, known also as the Olivetans, will triumphantly lead the Catholic Church in its fight against evil. 

10. PETER THE ROMAN - This final Pope will likely be Satan, taking the form of a man named Peter who will gain a worldwide allegiance and adoration. He will be the final antichrist which prophecy students have long foretold. If it were possible, even the very elect would be deceived. The 112th prophesy states: "In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Petrus Romanus, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people. The End."

Malachy’s final words,

"Rome, the seat of the Vatican, will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people."

[wasalwaysagreatpickle]

Friday 21 May 1830

5 1/2

11 20/..

Fahrenheit 62˚ at 5 3/4 a.m. – fine morning – streets dry after all the rain last night – off at 6 35/.. – (without breakfast) took fiacre on the boulevard to my apartment rue Saint Victor – Monsieur de Mèrbel’s 2nd lecture from 7 33/.. to 8 1/2 – took a little ink stand this morning (1st time and found I could very comfortably take my notes in ink – much better than pencil – lecture on the internal structure of plants as seen with the naked eye and with a loupe – breakfasted very comfortably on my brown bread and 4 sols worth of good milk at the laiterie in about 10 minutes, and home at 8 3/4 – 

At my desk at 9 – I find this French ink so bad I really must write to Miss Maclean to bring me a bottle in addition to the 2 bottles sent by Sowerby with the books – read over what I wrote yesterday to Mariana mention the talk between Lady Stuart de Rothesay and me about going to the Pyrenees in July, and had very kind letter from Lady Gordon last week, and if I go from home at all this summer and not with the Stuart de Rothesays shall probably go with her – ‘she asks if I will go to Spain next – what I shall do, of course, I cannot tell so long beforehand – But all this is quite between ourselves – I never name any of my maybes to anybody but you – I shall, I hope, see you again one of these days; and you may be quite at ease, whatever I determine on’ –

Wish her not to forget, when she has time to remember, French and the use of her pencil – mention Amici’s camera lucida – and Miss Maclean’s intention of being off from London on the 27th – then wrote a little more mention my good breakfast for 7 sols – (milk 4 sols – bread suppose 3 sols) – ‘the luxury of life is independence with a competence – I often enjoy leaving at home carriage and servants, and stealing in among the petit monde, and seeing how it is, that some can live where others would starve – In fact the carriage is at the coach makers again, for the present – Do for pity’s sake believe, that a certain portion of the ‘mammon of unrighteousness’ is absolutely necessary; and let us all do the best we can for living not starving – Let us have the option of having carriages and horses, and all that the world deems comme il faut – we can leave them at home as often as we like – I should be thankful to get you into this way of thinking – If Charles thought as I do, I should not trouble myself about your opinions; for he would take care to provide for you to the utmost of his ability – he would move heaven and earth, and leave brick and mortar forever as they are at Lawton, to leave you not induced to less than five hundreds a year after having shared with him more than as many thousands – How times are changed! I, who never cared for money till you taught me, am now to teach my teacher! well! do what you think best, - but remember that living where others would starve might be even to you less easy, and less comfortable than you may have sometimes imagined, were you obliged to try it – Do not, I beseech you, mistake me – I mean nothing which ought to annoy or disquiet you for a moment – all I ever ask myself is this – How is that she who, in early days when life, and hope, and friendship, all were young, could do so much – how is it that she should seem so careless now? Charles pays all now; and you are rich – Have you misunderstood me? tell me honestly – if you have, I never dare let another word upon the subject escape me in joke or earnest’ – 

Had written the last 1/2 page 3 and 1 1/2 end of my letter to Mariana very small and close, and so far of today at 10 3/4 – at which hour and before this Fahrenheit 70˚ - then wrote a full 1/2 sheet and 2 1/2 pp. of another 1/2 sheet to Miss Maclean exceedingly kind letter – long to see her but not impatient – beg her do what she is persuaded is best, and take her own time, and rest a day or 2 at Boulogne set her at ease about having so long prevented my asking anybody – ‘making always such exceptions, including yourself, as you perfectly well understand, I care less and less about having anybody with me – I am never at home till evening, and then my aunt, and dinner, and going to bed, are quite enough – It was from last August to October that so unsettled me – you were my physician and balm of gilead, in that case – I am well enough now, and could go on long enough in this way, if nothing occurred to rouse my memory from her slumbers – you do me the greatest kindness to come – the next greatest to leave me the power of saying I can ask no one so long as I am expecting Miss Maclean you always miscalculate your usefulness – Do set your mind at ease on this point – were it not for you, I might feel some obligation to do one or two things I escape now – Besides, if I take it into my head to wish to go from home while you are with us, I shall make no scruple…….It will amuse you to find how I consume my time, and how immeasurably little I trouble myself about anyone for whom I do not feel some interest at heart’ –

Then read over what I wrote yesterday to Miss Hobart dated Friday (today) but mentioning its being a fête day, just wrote over the sentence’ ascension day Thursday not Friday’ – ‘Have you got any more stories lately? the cuisinère of an English family that was here in the winter went the other day to Madame Galvani, to entreat her to try and get her a place – ‘Oh! mon dieu! Madame! Madame sait bien que quant ou sort d’une maison anglaise, ou a bien de la peine à en trouver – personne ne vous vent, parci qu ou a tout de suite la main rouiellée Madame Galvani Et pourquoi ça dout? mais madame [suit] bien que ces anglais ça ne fait pas comme tout le monde – ça mange des radis et du beurre aprés l’entremet!’ I hope that inimitable ça ne fait pas – ça mange – is not lost upon you – Ever affectionately yours AL’ – 

Had just done all and written so far of today at 1 1/4 – at 1 1/2 letter from Mariana (Lawton) 3pp. ends and under the seal – she and Mr Charles Lawton had a most providential escape from a thunder storm – the horses took fright and ran away – luckily ran into a hedge – narrowly missed throwing them into a horse-pond where Mariana would have been undermost, and where, if not water enough to drown them, they would have been very seriously inconvenienced – she glad I have not ordered the gowns – my explanation of the modes so clear, Watson can do all that is required –

Explains about money matters if I had only myself in view I do not hesitate to say I should think very little of the subject with regard to you I know your habits are yearly becoming more expensive therefore I should be glad to feel that I was likely to bring more to the exchequer than was sufficient to cover my own expenses of dress and maintenance and those who have hitherto benefited by any over plus in my income must of course be minus any future advantage now bearing in mind that these were the thoughts that dictated the sentence in my last which you have transcribed I am quite at a loss to guess what idea presented itself to you when you wrote immediately after it –

‘I shall not comment much upon this paragraph – it must surely be unnecessary; for you yourself on reading it over, cannot fail to be struck with much that cannot fail to have occurred to me’ – now, my darling if you wish me to know what did occur to you, you must explain, for in truth I cannot guess for in my conscience nothing ought to have occurred but a very satisfied feeling that at least I was not mercenary, and should not cost more than my own means would provide. In as much as I cannot bring myself to say more than I have already done on money matters you may perhaps think I am still unconcerned but I do not mean to say, that I would throw away any just or fair way of improving my pecuniary advantages’ – August cottage given up – Charles could not get the money without a mortgage, and would not (could not)’ give that – filled the other end of my letter in answer to Mariana saying I was satisfied – had I had her letter the 1st thing this morning, should not have written what I did some hours ago – all I meant was one could not prudentially be indifferent on the subject of money matters – 

Mariana’s argumentation not very logically deducible from the paragraph in question she writes heavily and formally and I like not her style she may well talk nowadays of not being mercenary when she will have her jointure and my fortune to come to she could be mercenary for herself when she married Charles but she cannot now be mercenary for me? the fact is I had better see her again and see how she pleases me nowadays I have my doubts [I] not she is changed? 

Sealed up the envelope containing my letter in envelope to ‘Miss Maclean 1 half sheet full and 2 1/2pp. of another 1/2 sheet unluckily not sealed, and this and 1/4 sheet letter full to Miss Hobart in envelope to ‘Miss Hobart Honourable Lady Stuart’s Whitehall’, and at 2 5/.. gave this to George for the Embassy, and gave him for the great post my letter (3pp. and long ends small and close) to ‘Mrs Lawton, Lawton Hall, Lawton, Cheshire, Angleterre’ – 

Somehow I knew of leaving the letter to Miss Maclean unsealed but unluckily did not think of it might be disagreeable if Miss Hobart saw line seven from the bottom of page last but one – 

Had just written so far of today at 2 55/.. – then till 4 3/4 reading over Mariana’s letter, and writing her 1 page and 4 lines very small and close – 

In answer to the crypt on the other side – 

A useless day this for science – I will take care to have less to explain with Mariana in future – 

Lovely day – I read last night while undressing and this morning in the fiacre [Δcɑλojos] à, my school edition nonnulli è Luciani Dialogis (London 1726), and brought the book and my Greek grammar here with me this morning – off at 5 1/4 – sauntered along the quais – home at 6 25/.. – dressed – dinner at 6 3/4 – came to my room at 8 1/2 – settled with George – said I was much annoyed at the answer he gave me yesterday – he said he was very low – very well, said I, you have been in the family almost 10 years you ought to have known me better but the next time it occurs I shall take it as a warning – now take notice if I say I will do a thing no entreaty can prevail – 

On coming home this afternoon found on my desk long rigmarole note from Monsieur Saint Romain explaining who he is, fancying from my asking on Wednesday at Daly C’s why he adopted the name of Saint Romain that he ought to give me a long explanation for fear I should think him wishing to make himself greater than he really is – nonsense – sat musing – violent thunder storm between 7 and 8 – very heavy rain and loud thunder and lightning even till now after 9 – coffee at 9 5/.. – came to my room at 10 25/.. at which hour Fahrenheit 65 1/2 – fair, but raining heavily till about 10.

[zorume-star]

Girl Power Playlist

After watching Birds of Prey and listening to its awesome soundtrack, I needed a girl power playlist to stay high on my good feelings all day long ! Want a share ? Pop rock playlist for most of it, there are also some BoP soundtrack’s songs and my fav bands.

~_~_~_GIRL POWER_~_~_~

Femme - Mrs Yéyé

Crown - Halflives

Legends Never Dies - Against The Current

Just A Girl - No Doubt

Love Myself - Hailee Steinfield

Experiment On Me - Halsey

Smile - Maisie Peters

If You Love Someone - The Veronicas

Who’s Laughing Now ? - Jessie J

Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo

La Grenade - Clara Luciani

To Be Human - Marina

Salope - Mrs Yéyé

Woman - Kesha

Outsiders - Against The Current

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Celebrity Skin - Hole

Burning Gold - Christina Perri

That Don’t Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Brighter - Against The Current

Who You Are - Jessie J

Unstoppable - Sia

Most Girls - Hailee Steinfield

Man, I Feel Like a Woman - Shania Twain

Soft To Be Strong - Marina

Running With The Wild Things - Against The Current

Joke’s On You - Charlotte Lawrence

No More Suckers - Marina

Burnin’ Up - Jessie J

Invisible Chains - Lauren Jauregui

What is you girl power playlist ? Share it !

[clarounette]

Reach out to your favorite author...

... you never know what could happen.

It could be a famous published author, an indie you like, or even your fav fanfic writer. But tell them you like their work.

I’ve done that since I dived deep into indie romance novels, and every encounter has been a blast. Some are friendlier than others, but I’ve always had interesting conversations.

Yesterday, I won a book from Kristen Luciani. I’ve reviewed 3 of the 4 books of her Severinov Bratva series. So I told her I like her books, and my fav is Ravage. We talked a bit about it and its main male character, Alek. I admitted that I had been afraid until the end that she was about to kill him. And she confessed that she almost did, but couldn’t in the end, though it was fitting in terms of character development. So we had a little conversation through messenger, and it was great! (and I got my free book :p )

It has been amazing to exchange words with Mira Lyn Kelly, Kate Meader, Gina L Maxwell (she’s the best, and I sent her a package with some belgian delicacies :) ), KC Enders, Samantha Whiskey, Xavier Neal, Emma Renshaw, Stephanie Brother, and now Kristen Luciani. A few others even offered writing tips.

So send a message to the writers you like :)

[veroticker]

Vengeful - Kristen Luciani

Summary (from Kristen Luciani’s Goodreads page)

One single gun shot threw my life into upheaval.

An assassination that will bring my family to its knees.

It’s up to me to avenge the murder.

An eye for an eye…that’s my MO.

I have one job to do, and it may be my last.

Find my father’s killer and make him pay.

Before he finds me.

But there’s one problem - one incredibly sexy obstacle I never saw coming.

Tali Severinov.

I’ve met my match with this woman.

She’s beautiful, deadly, and more ruthless than I’d ever imagined.

Think with my head?

Never.

At least, not with the one attached to my neck.

She thinks I’m the enemy.

Little does she know I’m her savior.

Blurb

“My mouth twists at the mention of my mother who passed away years ago from breast cancer. I clench my fists, ready to launch them at his fat fucking face. I’d like nothing more than to split his head open right here and now.

“Tommy, Vince, and Anthony are handling things back home,” I say in a flat voice, referring to my other brothers.

“And Gianna? She must need help, too.”

My sister Gianna is more lethal than all of us put together. In fact, I had to talk her off the ledge when she found out I was making the visit to Uncle Gio. She’d been planning to skin him alive herself, but I told her to hold off, that she should save her strength for the bastard who actually pulled the trigger.

That’s what happens when you grow up as the only girl in a family full of testosterone-driven men. You learn how to take care of yourself and everyone who so much as looks at you cross-eyed.

And believe me, she did the time.

“Everyone is managing. Nobody wants to let the business go.” I study my uncle, narrowing my eyes at him. His gaze falls to the floor where his foot taps fast and furious against the polished hardwood floor. My eyes flicker left and right as the hint of a cool breeze floats into the room. I breathe in, a sudden musky scent assaulting my nostrils.

My uncle only reeks of provolone, a smell hardly comparable to an expensive cologne.

The hairs on the back of my neck prickle.

Adrenaline courses through my veins, my fingers gripping the arm of the couch.

Just a little bit closer.

Just…

A…

Little…

Bit.

Uncle Gio stands suddenly, backing away from the couch and knocking into the coffee table. The bottle of chianti overturns, the red liquid drizzling onto the floor. It stains the wood a deep, dark red.

Just like the color of blood.

And it sure as fuck won’t be mine.

I swivel around when I hear the flick of a wrist behind me. A big beefy guy has a piece of wire wrapped between his two fingers, trying to choke me with it. I duck and swerve, flipping him over my shoulder so that his body crashes through the table.

Split in two.

Exactly what I want to do to my bastard of an uncle.

In good time.

I pound the face of the guy a few times who’s moaning on the floor and my body is yanked backward by my hair. Another guy drags me across the floor toward the kitchen. I dig my heels into the grooves of the wood, trying to slow him down, but he only pulls harder. I kick up my leg and grab the hunting knife secured to my leg. I flip him over my head, dragging the knife across his throat once he’s on the ground in front of me. He gurgles and writhes against me as the blood pours from the gaping wound. I pull a gun from its hiding place on my other leg and point it to the guy who’s struggling to get to his feet after his massive crash. Shards of glass from the shattered coffee table cover the floor, and Uncle Gio stares at me, his eyes wide.

I smirk at him. “Wanna tell me again how destroyed you are over this? How we’re fucking blood, you slimy piece of shit?” I inch closer to him, my voice dropping. The idiot who was supposed to take me out struggles to his feet, and I don’t even look at him when he goes for his own gun. I point and shoot twice. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him collapse to the floor, his brain matter now decorating the upholstery.

Just a little bit of redecorating.

The place needed a few updates anyway.”

(review under the cut)

Review

(audiobook) This third book in the series was definitely better than the first. The characters were less cardboard; the romance part took its time building; and the action was there throughout the story, not packed at the end of it. It made for a more balanced and more interesting read.

The reader--again only a man--was good too. I still have a problem with when he read for the female character though: he tried too hard, and with more flowery, romantic and sensuous lines, it almost became ridiculous--instead of passionate.

I didn’t get the second book of the series, and thus I missed some key plot elements about Tali’s life, and what was written about them wasn’t enough--at least for me. Because I don’t know what happened to Tali, I went from the badass girl from the Merciless, to a more vulnerable--and sometimes even stupid--version of herself. The contrast was quite shocking. I’ll have to read or listen to Possessive, maybe it’ll all make sense.

The series keeps getting more and more interesting.

Quickie

Series: The Severinov Bratva #3

Hashtags: #mafia romance #dark romance #blackmail

Triggers: lots of violence, threats of rape

Main couple: Tali Severinov & Cristian Marcone

Hotness: 4/5

Romance: 3/5

+ the mafia parts, with alliances, betrayal, gunfights, etc. were thrilling

- sometimes, Christian was a bit too brash and rude, not my thing

Stalker mode

You can suscribe to Kristen Luciani’s newsletter on her website.

You can also follow her on Facebook.

[pixelgrotto]

The horrific Resident Evil playthrough, part nine

If there’s one word that can be used to describe Resident Evil: Revelations, it’s “solid.” This is kinda funny, since most of the game takes place on a body of water - or more specifically, a ship floating in the middle of the ocean. This is a good setting for a horror game that, interestingly enough, was used in Ubisoft’s Resident Evil 4 clone Cold Fear and the negatively reviewed Game Boy Color spin-off Resident Evil Gaiden, which I’ll get to eventually.

But going back to my main point, RE: Revelations is a very fine playable experience. It features the over-the-shoulder viewpoint and gunplay that’s been the series norm since RE4, but has a confined, ominous setting more reminiscent of the earlier Resident Evils. Just like the Lost in Nightmares DLC of Resident Evil 5, which saw Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield infiltrating a spooky European manor that bore more than a passing resemblance to the original Spencer Mansion, it seems that Revelations was engineered to combine new school Resident Evil with old school Resident Evil, creating a combo to please all the series veterans who complained that the sunshine of RE5 had made things decidedly un-scary, while still not alienating newer fans. 

There’s a lot of decent stuff in this combo, starting with the front and center return of Jill Valentine. While Resident Evil was a franchise that always did a great job of female representation in its earlier entries, as the games have gotten more bang shoot ‘em up, the main protagonists have increasingly become dudes while the ladies have been delegated to support roles. This falls into the trope of “action games star guys to empower male players while survival horror games star women to make male players want to protect the protagonist,” so it’s nice to see Revelations buck this trend. Jill does spend the entirety of the game in a skintight wetsuit that’s contributed to a lot of cringy fanart, but to Revelations’ credit, she is never sexualized throughout the entire campaign. The two other main females in the cast - Jessica Sherawat, a BSAA member who’s kind of a skank and rocks a ridiculous costume that’s missing an entire leg, and Rachel Foley, a "secret agent” who looks like a Twitch titty streamer - don’t fare nearly so well, but at least Jill is done right. 

Jessica and Rachel aren’t the only new characters introduced into series lore - Revelations has a whole ton of fresh faces, and since the game is divided up into 12 hour-long chapters, it seems like the devs were also inspired to make everyone seem reminiscent of someone in a television show. You’ve got the BSAA boss who seems based on every CSI boss ever, two funky dudes named Keith (finally, a playable black guy) and Quint who buck the trend of these games only starring highly attractive models, a whole bunch of bioweapon-stealing terrorists, a bad guy with a goatee who looks like he wandered in from the Metal Gear Solid party down the hall, and the best newbie of all - Parker Luciani, an Italian BSAA member who looks like Russell Crowe and fills in the same kind of “dad” role that Barry Burton occupied in Resident Evil 1.

Weaving these TV drama-esque characters together is a plot that trades zombies for mutated human/sea creature hybrids, which is an excellent combination since the sea is home to pure terror. The story twists and turns in a mostly understandable way until chapter 11 or so, when it suddenly devolves into deus ex machina cliches and faces the same problems as a lot of Japanese games that are trying to be too witty for their own good. (See: the vast majority of Final Fantasy titles.) It’s not a bad tale, and it plays things straight in the same way that Resident Evil 5 did, but is somewhat less memorable in the long run since it lacks a proper baddie like Wesker to really stick out in your mind.

And that’s probably the only issue I have with Revelations. There’s nothing really wrong with the game, but that means that it’s also oddly forgettable in some ways, and definitely feels like the side story Nintendo 3DS gaiden that it was originally developed as when compared with its recent predecessors. It lacks the super engaging pacing that Resident Evil 4 had, for instance - while RE4 was the sort of game that made me want to stay up late playing just one more hour, I was okay to take a break and go to bed after each bite-sized bit of Revelations. And while Revelations provides a decidedly more focused single-player experience than Resident Evil 5, the strange racial miscalculations of that title and the Hollywood-influenced (but genuine, I believe) portrayal of Africa just make RE5 more interesting, in my opinion. This isn’t to say that Revelations is dull - it’s just that it’s sandwiched in between other series entries that I simply find myself having more to say about. Sometimes when you’re the third child who does his thing well enough, yet is overshadowed by the perfect big brother (RE4) and an annoying at times, compelling at others second sibling (RE5), this sort of phenomenon can happen.

But lest we end on a meh note, I will give credit where credit is due - the many new faces that Revelations brings to the increasingly complex world of Resident Evil are mostly welcome ones, and the game does a solid (there’s that word again) job of bringing back the terror that used to infuse the series in an era when the scares were slowly being forgotten. Though, part of me wonders if I would have enjoyed Revelations even more if it had brought back fixed camera angles, too... Hmm, nine games deep into this series playthrough and it appears that I can finally choose a side in the great debate over which style of Resident Evil I kind of prefer. Make mine fixed camera angles! All screenshots taken by me. For more, check out this Twitter thread showing my step-by-step progress through the game.

[hellxpuppy]

All

ADA WONG: Do you have any secrets nobody knows?

totally. sometimes i feel like i come off as an open book but there’s a lot ppl don’t know about me that i’d rather keep to myself anyway

ALBERT WESKER: How far would you go to achieve your dreams?been contemplating going into debt from college just so i can become a concept artist or a character designer, but that’s pretty much the furthest i’d go?? i’d do anything for my art as long as im not hurting other people. not a very vengeful personALEXIA ASHFORD: How smart are you? What's your IQ?idk, IQ stuff isn’t really that important to me. everyones smart in different waysALEX WESKER: What scares you the most?losing all or most of my friends (kind of what made breaking away from austin really hard) but also goddamn ALIENS and also unseen creatures. i guess that could also be apart of my alien fear because when i was little i had a fear of aliens that could shape shift and turn invisible, it got to the point where i would get so paranoid that i couldn’t be in the living room by myself

ALFRED ASHFORD: Do you have any siblings?yes! most of you guys already know, but i have a sister and a brother, they’re almost a year younger than me (we kind of look like triplets its funny) and they’re twins. unfortunately i also have an older half brotherANNETTE BIRKIN: How loyal are you?im very loyalARK THOMPSON: Would you ever want to be a detective?i think it would be very interesting! i like detective shows a lot. akfjkds im also pretty good at clue ;)ASHLEY GRAHAM: Are you related to anybody famous?i don’t really think so! i know my parents have met famous people in passing but i dont think we’re actually related to anyBILLY COEN: Ever committed a crime?

i accidentally vandalized one of my neighbor’s houses once. they weren’t very nice people thoughBRAD VICKERS: How do you respond to a crisis situation? Do you panic?it depends on what the crisis situation is i think!BRUCE MCGIVERN: Do you have an accent? If so, what type?im just a plain ol americanCARLA RADAMES: If you could be anyone, who would you want to be?i’d want to be myself! i know this will sound cheesy but getting to learn to grow and experience my own life is wonderful, even if i gotta live with mental illness and trauma. i like living as myself, and i don’t want to be anyone elseCARLOS OLIVEIRA: Do you wear your heart on your sleeve?HFHDKhfdkkfs... yeah probably but not entirely. i do react in huge ways, but not so much externally as i do internally, which is what people mostly see online. honestly that’s a question to ask one of my close irl friends jfjdsCHRIS REDFIELD: Are you fighting for anything?yep!! :) we all kno what it is CLAIRE REDFIELD: Are you a workaholic?claire... yeah but only if my add/adhd latches onto it, or if im just super passionate about the project in general. i think the greatest examples of this is when im sitting in a chair 6 hours straight just drawing or if im cleaning for over half the day. you wont catch me doing that with homework unless im panickingCHIEF IRONS: Any creepy quirks?i dont really know what this meansDAVID KING: Are you good at handy-work?i’d like to think so! i like lifting things for people, opening things that are hard to open, i like to clean, weeding out the yard/garden, i mean im also a pretty good painter imo.. i like being a handy lesbianDEREK C SIMMONS: Any current obsessions?been hyperfixating on the village by m night shyamalan for like uuhhh 2 weeks now??EXCELLA GIONNE: How fashionable are you?hfhfslfkjldfgd im EXTREMELY tacky, i mostly just match colors instead of materials. im not very fashionable but i wish to be in the future!! i have a pinterest board dedicated to my personal butch outfit inspirationFONG LING: Do you like attention from the opposite/same sex?hello ladies.....HELENA HARPER: How cynical are you?i don’t think i am in the least bit, caring about people is my gameJAKE MULLER: Would you sell your grandmother for fifty million dollars?no :(JAMES MARCUS: What's your favourite animal/insect?OWLS AND PENGUINS JESSICA SHERAWAT: Ever used charm to get what you want?jlfjksdfs im not proud to admit this but yes but not in an attractive way, more like in an endearing wayJILL VALENTINE: How headstrong are you?i can be a pretty stubborn person if i dont want to do something or if i dont agree, but i try not to let that get in the way of things?JIM CHAPMAN: Would you consider yourself sassy?sometimes but it’s not a defining traitJOSEPH FROST: Favourite breed of dog?i REALLY love german sherpards they look so adorable and i love huskies too! love those big babies... funny thing is though is that im so afraid of big dogs that being around them can be really hard even though i love them... also goldens are adorableKEVIN RYMAN: Favourite type of alcohol?all types suckLEON S KENNEDY: Do you spend a lot of time on your appearance?not really lol like i said earlier all i try to do is match colors at least more than i do with materialsLISA TREVOR: Any physical quirks?i can make some REALLY weird faces. i have this one face that makes berto lose his mind it’s greatLUIS SERA: Are you a player?nopeMOIRA BURTON: How often/much do you swear?wayyyyyy too often LMAO whenever i swear on here and censor it that’s just me trying to tone it down while also getting the point across because sometimes i just dont like sounding too aggressive and i get worried about freaking people outMORPHEUS D DUVALL: How far would you go to be beautiful?man i dont really care at all anymore, i just want to get buff and have a haircut im satisfied withNICOLAI ZINOVEIF: Ever betray anybody?only with tiny funny things, but never on a large, serious scale. i know where my loyalties and priorities lieOSMUND SADDLER: If you could; would you want to lead a cult?lesbian cult lesbian cult lesbian cult lesbian cult lesbian cultPARKER LUCIANI: What nationality are you?im a white americanPIERS NIVANS: Would you sacrifice yourself for somebody else?definitelyRICHARD AIKEN: Do you like reptiles? Do you have a favourite?i love them! but i dont know too much about them so i dont really have a clear fave. i DO love snakes thoughSHERRY BIRKIN: How dysfunctional is your family?pretty dysfunctional lmao... my siblings went to go talk to the judge last week because my dad was trying to alter my parents divorce agreement. i wasn’t allowed to be there because i turned 18 recently, and they’re still 17. one of the dumbest things about my dad trying to do this is the fact that even if he got the agreement altered, it wouldn’t have mattered because by the time it would be implemented my siblings would already be 18 as well. i feel like my dad was just trying to do this to be vindictive towards my mom in some way. also i hate my older brotherSHEVA ALOMAR: Any tattoos?i have this

but they’re pointing more outward! sorry for the large image. i plan on getting more in the futureSTEVE BURNSIDE: Ever been in love?yeah. i feel like i might be again but im not really sureVINCENT GOLDMAN: What's the most evil thing you'd do?i don’t know i dont like doing evil things :( probably the most evil thing would be beating up bigoted assholes and bullshit men but i dont count that as evil, any sensible person would do the sameWILLIAM BIRKIN: Do you like Science? What's your favourite scientific discovery?i LOVE science! i love genetic and biological sciences. last year i became incredibly fascinated with the concept of cloning and the CRISPR-cas9 while i was taking a genetics class

[contentsoftable]

Ten Immersive Games (and 5 that try but aren’t)

by Nathan

All games are abstractions. Otherwise we’d all die of thirst and buried in sand while playing Forbidden Desert. There is always the thing the game tells you you’re doing, and the thing you’re actually doing, which is generally moving around little bits of cardboard and wood. What’s cool - at least to me - is when games make you feel like you’re actually doing the thing the game is about - when you get so immersed in the gameplay that your throat gets dry and your arms get tired from digging sand.

Here are some that do that for me. 

FORBIDDEN DESERT

Designer: Matt Leacock Publisher: Gamewright

As mentioned in the intro, Forbidden Desert has great tension-building mechanics, effective art that reinforces the theme of searching for ancient relics in a desert, and it really makes you feel like you’re trudging under the oppressive sun, watching the horizon for sandstorms and checking how much water you have left in your canteen. A simple game, but one that - win or lose - always puts you in its world, and always ends with a nail-biting finish. 

TYRANTS OF THE UNDERDARK

Designers: Peter Lee, Rodney Thompson, Andrew Veen Publisher: Gale Force Nine

A combination of deck-builder and area control game that requires a lot of tactical thinking, but what makes it immersive is the the purple-tinged art and fantasy setting which take me right back to when I was twelve years old and first discovered dungeons and dragons. Suddenly I am a cruel dark elf noble, scheming against rival clans and sending out my minions to do my bidding in the Underdark, and it’s glorious! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

WATERGATE

Designer: Matthias Cramer Publisher: Frosted Games

A history lesson in a box and a chess-like game of tug-a-war that visualizes connecting crimes to conspirators in a literal sticking pins in corkboard way. Whether you play as Nixon or the Journalists, you really feel you are fighting a desperate fight to hide or reveal the truth. An excellent game.

TOBAGO

Designer: Bruce Allen Publisher: Zoch Verlag

Hunting for the treasure is the best part of Tobago, because it feels like you’re narrowing down the places it could be by looking for clues on an old map. That and the cool tiki heads that you have to rotate every now and then give this one a fun old-time adventure feel that’s a joy to dive into. 

BLACK ORCHESTRA

Designer: Philip duBarry Publisher: Game Salute

This co-op game about plotting to kill Hitler is possibly the most immersive game on the list. Everything about it puts you in the moment, making you feel like a desperate conspirator constantly listening for the knock of the gestapo on your door. Making plans, gathering necessary papers, weapons, and tools, and then feeling those plans slip through your fingers as you wait for the right moment. Even the way you get out of jail is thematically grim. All you have to do is betray your friends. 

RESCUE POLAR BEARS

Designer: Jog Kung, Huang Yi Ming Publisher: TWOPLUS Games

So thematic it is sometimes painful to play. You are fighting to save polar bears against a background of climate change, and as the temperatures rise and the sea ice gets smaller and smaller it begins to feel utterly hopeless, and then -often as not - you lose, which makes you even more depressed. It does feel good when you win, but sadly, that doesn’t happen often. 

TWILIGHT STRUGGLE

Designer: Ananda Gupta, Jason Matthews Publisher: GMT Games

I’ve never been a global superpower, so I don’t know what it really feels like, but this game, with its simple mechanics of trying to get more influence chips onto a country than your opponent, and the action cards that teach history with every play, sure makes me feel like one. Balancing aggression against a rapidly lowering defcon status, and fighting each other through proxy wars really gives this that old paranoid cold war feeling. 

ABOMINATION

Designer: Dan Blanchett Publisher: Plaid Hat Games

In this game, you are competing to be the first scientist to build Frankenstein’s monster a companion. To do this you have to steal bodies from hospitals, morgues, public executions, harvest their organs, and bring them to life with electro-galvanism, all the while lecturing to make money and maintaining your reputation so you’re not chased out of town by peasants with pitchforks. And it really does feel like you’re doing all those things. The art, gameplay, and little bits of narrative text when the game asks you to make a moral decision, all contribute to a gleefully gory atmosphere reminiscent of a Hammer horror film. 

ROBINSON CRUSOE

Designer: Ignacy Trzewiczek Publisher: Portal Games

This one might be too immersive for its own good. This is a co-op survival game where you are stranded on a desert island, trying to build tools and shelter in order to not die from exposure, wild animals, madness, and ancient curses. We really enjoyed the challenge of it for a while, but it is punishingly hard, and after a while it became more frustrating than fun, but if you really want to feel like you’re never more than one bad night away from dying of dysentery, this is the game for you.  

EVERDELL

Designer: James A. Wilson Publisher: Starling Games

A game of cute animals building communities over the course of a year, Everdell is basically a resource gathering engine builder, but the art and theme of the cards puts you right into its world of forest creatures in waistcoats and aprons. It’s one of those games that I wish had more actual narrative elements to go with the mechanics so we could learn the stories of the villages. As they’re not there, though, we’re forced to use our imaginations instead - and that’s not a bad thing. 

Now, here’s five games that don’t make you feel their themes. 

WINGSPAN

Designer: Elizabeth Hargrave Publisher: Stonemaier Games

This is a very pretty game, with cool bird art and facts on the cards, and a unique theme. Unfortunately, I do not feel like I am a conservationist, or a bird watcher, or doing anything that actually has to do with birds. I am just playing a game with birds on the cards. Not that it’s a bad game, the game play just has very little to do with the theme. 

TZOLK’IN

Designer: Simone Luciani, Daniele Tascini Publisher: Czech Games Edition

Mayan civilization and the Mayan calendar are cool themes for a game, and the art does a great job backing that up, but when it comes right down to it, Tzolk’in is more interested in its cool, gear-based mechanics than its world, and I never feel like I’m doing anything but playing a worker placement game, where the theme could be anything.

SCYTHE

Designer: Jamey Stegmaier Publisher: Stonemaier Games

Scythe is a big, beautiful game set in an alternate pre-WWI eastern Europe, where, in addition to infantry and cavalry, there are giant robots! Parts of it are very immersive, particularly the encounter cards, the art, and the minis, which are gorgeous. The part that isn’t immersive is the ending. The game ends when one player completes six objectives, and then each player totals up their points. For a game that feels like it’s all about conquest and expansion, the ending doesn’t feel very glorious. It’s more like checking a spread sheet. 

QUANTUM

Designer: Eric Zimmerman Publisher: Funforge

I like quantum, but it’s really an abstract game pretending to be a space adventure game. Your space ships are dice, and depending on what number they are showing, they can do different things. Although there is art for the four player colors that depicts them as four different empires, that’s where the narrative stops. I never feel like I’m running a galactic empire. I just feel like I’m moving dice around. 

YEDO

Designer: Thomas Vande Ginste, Wolf Plancke Publisher: Eggertspiele

In Yedo, you play the leader of a noble family in the Edo period of Japan, plotting to become the power behind the throne. Except that’s not what you’re doing. Really, you’re completing missions by collecting items on a list and having those items in your position when you go to a particular spot on the map. The way the game makes missions more difficult is by making the lists of items longer, and increasing the number of locations you have to visit. It feels less like intrigue and skullduggery, and more like doing errands, which is too bad, because it’s a fun theme and the writing is evocative. It’s just the mechanics that disappoint. 

[katian5]

CHRONICLE MESSENGERS OF PEACE TROPHY 2017

The first category to appear on stage was that of senior weighing less than 70 kg, 6 athletes out of 12 qualified for the final, although Cristian López was allowed to pose out of competition, as an exceptional measure, since it was impossible for him to arrive on time weighing anavar for men. In 6th place was César Arroyo, who lacked density, development and proportionality to qualify for more. Julián Martín was 5th, he had a good physique but he should improve the pumping of the quadriceps and polish the buttocks and oblique hindquarters more. 4th was the Argentine Luciano Liberti, with an excellent upper body the day that equals it with the lower one will be unbeatable. 3rd was the Andalusian Lolo Rascón, very balanced, with a great general quality but he should improve the pose and leave with less shine, if he does he will be able to choose more. Runner-up was Javi Blanco, the Valdepeño lawyer, who presented his best version, greatly improved, a very balanced physique, with great details and, without a doubt, the best poseur of all. The champion was the Andalusian Daniel Bajo who dazzled everyone present by his physical excellence in all parameters: quality, aesthetics, symmetry, proportion, mass, density and pose. Trophies were awarded in this category by David from Moodsports.

The next category to come out was that of a statuesque woman 1. In fourth place was the Italian Elena Narduci, very aesthetic but who must improve definition and muscle development to qualify for more. 3rd was the Mallorcan Antonia Moya who, little by little, is improving her physique. Runner-up was Nadia Cruz, very aesthetic but her lower body should improve a little more. The champion was Ingrid Culebradas, very balanced in all facets, without a doubt, the best, she must follow that path to reach an international level. The awarding of trophies in this category was made by Carina Tristao from Made in Brazil.

Then senior competitors weighing less than 80 kg came on the scene. 5th was the Italian Mario Lacava who has a promising future since he has a good base, the day that physique dries it will be difficult to beat. Tomás Sánchez was 4th, another diamond in the rough that will go a long way if he continues with that desire. 3º was Miguel Ángel Lara who lacked a little more dryness and balance to opt for more, the day he does so he will have many options to compete internationally. Runner-up was César Priego, much improved and that made things very difficult for the winner. The champion was Toni Martorell, hard as a rock, with great quality and development. The day I improve those legs will be even more fearsome. In this category the delivery of trophies came from the hand of Prudencio Mellado,

Then the giants of more than 80 kg entered the scene. 4th was Ismael Marín, the day he defines will be very scary because he has a very good base. 3rd was Jaume Cantallops who must improve the lower body to climb to the top, despite its development is very notorious, international level. Runner-up was Toni Martorell who also asked to participate in this category and who made things very difficult for the winner Roberto Amorosi who has improved a lot with respect to past editions, little by little, he equates his excellent upper body with the lower one. In this category the awarding of trophies was made by the historical bodybuilder José Viñas, champion of Spain in 1971. It should be mentioned that Jaume Cantallops, in a gesture that honors him and never seen, gave his trophy to his friend Pedro Adrover, world champion WNBA,

Then the category of statuesque woman 2 came out on stage. 4th was Rosa Ana de la Paz who presented a large upper body somewhat unbalanced with the lower one, likewise, her way of posing did not favor her. 3rd was Mery Delgado, with an international level upper train, the day that equals it with the lower one will be difficult to beat, she showed great mastery in the pose. Runner-up was Mónica Pérez, whose merit is commendable since just 2 years ago she was in a state and today, she marks abs, obliques, quads, etc., demonstrating that if there is desire and knowing how to do great things can be achieved. The champion was Marilén Piza, much improved, spectacular in all parameters, a pity that she cannot go to the world championship as she would have played an excellent role. The award ceremony was again carried out by Carina Tristao from Made in Brazil.

Then the sculptural bodybuilding athletes came out, ranked 6 out of 14, it was the largest and most complicated category to settle the positions. In sixth place was the Italian Marco Luciani, with a good line but lacking quality. 5th was Manuel Rascón who made it very difficult for Javi Blanco who obtained 4th position. 3rd was the Italian Daniele Nicoló, very aesthetic, balanced and with unique thigh fibers. Runner-up was Toni Martorell who also came out in this category, a great job he presented. The champion was the Italian Remo Rimedio, with an excellent aesthetic line, very balanced proportions and densities, great muscle development and brilliant symmetry. In this category Emiliano Caputo, great coach and captain of the Italian team, presented the trophies.

Finally, the masters of more than 40 years left. 4th was Joaquín Martínez, who must improve all parameters to move up to higher positions. Julián Martín was 3rd, who, as we already mentioned, must correct his mistakes as he has a good development and a good quality. Runner-up was the Argentine Luciano Liberti who, as we already said, must balance his body more, however he presented the best upper body of all. The Andalusian Emilio Malet took the category as he presented: a large proportion, excellent aesthetics and very good quality, great overall work of his. The charismatic natural bodybuilder Clodoaldo Mora presented the trophies in this category.

[playeroneplayertwo]

Little Green Apples (Newton)

Never have I believed that a non-metaphorical apple actually fell onto Sir Isaac Newton’s head, stirring those legendary first musings regarding gravity. Although, I’m delighted to learn that–according to Google, at least–he was inspired by a falling apple way back in 1667. 

Apparently, Sir Isaac returned to his family’s home after an unfortunate spat of bubonic plague closed his University (it happens), and he saw a very literal apple fall in an orchard, the apple that forced him to ponder thusly: “Oye señor, why’d that thing fall straight down and not do some sorta loop-de-loop or whatsname?”

Newton (2018) Designed by Simone Luciani & Nestore Mangone Art by Klemens Franz Published by CMON Limited

This is quintessential euro territory: lots of tracks to move on, lots of small cardboard pieces, lots of brown. Yeah, lots of brown, but we’ll come back to that.

Newton is a game about the scientific revolution. The game may have taken its name from the man responsible for penning Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica back yonder in 1687, but Newton (the game) also includes a handful of other scientific contributors like Kepler, Copernicus, Fahrenheit, Halley, and Pascal. And while there are a number of scientific masters in the game, the real heart of this mechanical puzzle comes from action selection, minor deck building, and optimizing your turn to score the most points.

Lowdown (How to Play–in a Nutshell)

Like so many euros, the point of the game is to score points. Newton is played over six rounds and in each round players will alternate playing action cards from their hand and taking the action. Simple enough. The actions are 1. Work to earn money; 2. Improve technology; 3. Travel on the big map; 4. Take Lessons, aka buy a card to add to your hand; 5. Study, aka meeting conditions to work towards end-round bonuses. The first three actions are essentially done by moving pieces or workers on different tracks and gaining bonuses based on where you stop. Working earns you coins based on how many spaces you moved, technology gives you bonuses like board improvements or coins depending on where you stop, and traveling allows you to move on the map and helps you meet studying conditions.

Studying is hard to explain, and I was very confused by it when I first read the rules. Essentially, in addition to the main game boards (of which there are two), each player has their own small player mat. On that mat is a bookshelf made up of individual spaces that can be filled in with books. In order to fill a space, you must meet the requirements listed in that space. When it’s completed, you can cover the space in question with a small tile. Requirements can be that you’ve visited specific cities or have a specific number of books on cards that you’ve played. When you completely fill a row or column on the shelf, you’ll gain bonuses each round, whether that be points or money or other niceties. Studying is really one of the less enticing actions, probably because it’s the most abstract, but it’s really the scoring engine of the game.

At the end of each round, you will have five action cards on your player mat, the five cards you played that round. During cleanup, you must take one of these cards and tuck it under your board, so only the icon for that specific action shows. And here’s a really great part of the game: the more icons that are visible on your board for a specific action, the stronger the value of the action you can perform. Let me explain.

Let’s say that at the end of round one, you tucked an icon for Lessons (the action that lets you buy new cards). When you play a lessons action card in round two, you’ll have two visible icons, one on the card you tucked in round one and one on the card you played in round two, meaning you can buy better cards than if you only had one visible icon. This works with all of the action icons. More work icons mean you can move farther, thus earning more money; more technology actions mean you can advance farther on the tech track, thus moving to potentially better bonuses; more travel icons mean you can move farther on the map, hopefully getting your travel meeple to those cities you needed to reach; and more study icons allows you to reach different shelves on your player mat.

As the game continues, you’ll cover more shelves, visit more cities, advance on the tech track to scoring objectives, and finally meet those scientific masters, all allowing you to score those sweet, sweet euro points.

Tea for Two (Scaling for Two Players)

Like I said, this is quintessential euro territory. I don’t want to lie; this game is multiplayer solitaire. I think the only difference in a solo game from a four player game is game length. Seriously. The rulebook contains no scaling beyond laying more tiles for higher player counts.

I Like Dirt (The Bad Stuff)

The graphic design/artwork are the main lightning rod for criticisms here. When you set the game up, it’s a lot of brown. The graphic design is very functional, if a little drab. It’s also funny that the art is by go-to euro artist extraordinaire Klemens Franz, known for his nice cartoony style seen in most Uwe Rosenberg games. That being said, there seems to be so little of his art present in the actual game, it feels like a bit of a waste.

Not to sound like a big square, and I know this is the ‘bad stuff’ section, but I really like the theming here. The idea of working in a university or inventing technology or simply learning (!!) is unique in a world of games about farming or civ building or trading in the Mediterranean. Honestly, while I don’t really understand what I’m thematically doing when I play Newton (Come on, you say, you’re doing science!), I like that it’s a game about science. But this is probably going to be a bad thing for most people. No really, what are you doing in this game??

Beyond aesthetics, one thing I’m not sure about is how viable each action is. Player mats are unique, which I like, but I wonder if the player who starts with the Study icon on their starting mat has a big advantage (especially compared to the player who starts with something like Working on their mat). I fear all actions are not created equal in Newton, and this is really the main problem. And while it’s definitely a problem, it’s not enough to hamper the experience–yet. When I feel that certain actions are underpowered, I often wonder if I simply haven’t learned how to maximize that actions benefits. While studying seems to be the best road to victory, I wonder if alternate paths will present themselves over further plays (e.g. I do think that travel’s strengths are more understated).

[It] Blinded Me with Science (The Good Stuff)

As with Great Western Trail (2016), Newton proves that–for me, at least–deckbuilding is a great mechanic, but perhaps best utilized in a secondary capacity. Meat and Potatoes deckbuilders like Star Realms (2014) or Dominion (2008) tend to feel a bit rote after repeated plays, but when you implement deckbuilding as one mechanic among many, I feel it helps freshen a mechanic that gets a bit worn out. If deckbuilding is all about building combos, making that deckbuilding one cog among many in a machine really opens the door to so many other interesting interactions, and that’s definitely true about Newton. Cards you’ll purchase by playing the lesson action have not only the action icon, but also different bonuses on the top half of the card, giving you colored books to complete requirements while studying, or bonuses you’ll gain each time you play the card. Keeping in mind what cards you’ve previously tucked from your set starting hand, you’ll definitely need to buy specific cards as the game continues or else you won’t be able to take certain actions. At the end of each round, however, all unpurchased cards are removed and a new set is laid out to buy for the next round, meaning that if you see a card you want, you have to buy it immediately. Again, the deckbuilding in this shouldn’t be overstated, it never feels like a huge part of the game, but if is impossible to ignore.

Set-up in Newton is also interesting. Everything on each board is variable. When you first pull out the two game boards and open them, you’ll see nothing but empty spaces. All bonuses, city icons, tech developments, and objective bonuses are laid out during set-up, so they’ll change in every game, making games feel similar, but not play similarly, which is something I really appreciate.

Speaking of variability, the scientific masters in the game, of which there are 20 total, each offer powerful bonuses. At the start of the game, each player has a hand of four, and you’ll pick-and-pass draft them (a la 7 Wonders (2010)) until you have a starting hand of four. You’ll need to find ways to activate these masters throughout the game, and if you want to get your money’s worth from them, you’ll really need to work to activate them. Activating masters is accomplished through excelling at different avenues in the game. For example, once you’ve traveled to a certain number of unique cities, you’ll get to activate a master. Only ever using eight of the possible 20 master cards in a game means you’ll see limited repeats.

Scoring objectives are one more facet I’ve glossed over, and while I won’t go into too much detail on how they work, these are also places on the board that are laid out variably during each game’s set-up. Being as they never change during a game, you are able to optimize play throughout a game so that when you reach a scoring objective, you’ll be able to max your points.

Perhaps the sweetest surprise from Newton is how fast a game it is with two players, coming in at an hour or so. That variable set-up will slow you down, unfortunately, making said variability a bit of a double-edged sword, but I think it’s more than worth the time based on what it offers.

The End (Final Thoughts)

Newton has a nigh legendary pedigree within the hobby, as one of its designers is known for co-designing perennial euro favorites Tzolk’in (2012), The Voyages of Marco Polo (2015), Grand Austria Hotel (2015), and Lorenzo il Magnifico (2016), all hovering around 100 or better on the Board Game Geek top 100 rankings. In all honesty, Newton is our introduction to this designer, making me infinitely more curious to play the other games. From many plays of Newton, and plenty of reading online about the others, I think Newton will be seen as the dark horse here, because while it is very solid, it seems to be described as the least remarkable among these five games. It’s interesting to see how groundbreaking Tzolk’in (2012) was seven years ago, versus how steady and solid Newton is today. Like Kraftwagen (2015), Newton isn’t reinventing any wheels, but rather combining many strong mechanics into one solid package, and in doing so turns out to be a workhorse of a game. In twenty years, it may not be looked on as a revolutionary game like Tzolk’in (2012), but it will give you a tight, rewarding, and reliably good experience.

Player One Eric

[trashmel]

Hey there! For the bookish questions: 2, 3, 5, 6, 9 (which is in fact OUR country of birth, hehe :D), 12 (even though I'm sure you told me about it), 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 (no, not a TW book, that's not fair ;) ), 19, 22, 25, 26, 27, 39, 40, 43, 44, 45, 47, 48, 49, 50. Have fun with that :D (and no, I won't let you talk about 1 and 23 because I already know the answers and I'm an asshole ♥)

You are crazy. Also : Challenge accepted! See how I can talk about Bottero almost everywhere!

2. What is thelongest book you have ever read? How many pages?

Apparently it's HarryPotter and the Order of the Phoenix (which is pretty cool ;D)with around 800 pages (says wiki, I'm too lazy to move to check. Alsothe French and English versions probably don't have the samepagination... Anyway who cares, you all know this book!)

3. What is the oldestbook you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

Gorgias by Plato, as for the date? I don’t know. Wiki says “around 380 BC”

5. What book or bookseries would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

….. OH YES I CAN TALKABOUT BOTTERO AFTER ALL ;D

Ahem. I mean, I would haveto say Ellana (I mean the whole series, Le Pact des Marchombres) by Pierre Botterojust to see a badass woman fighting and writing haiku? I mean Iwould sell my soul to watch this. Please someone just turn this intoa TV show already!

6. What is yourfavourite stand-alone book?

Every book can stand byitself, I can't say (Okay, okay I just couldn't choose one thatseemed to be “the one” because I mainly read series...)

9. What is a book youhave read that is set in your country of birth?

Urgh, the first two thatcame to my mind were The Sun Also Rises byErnest Hemingway and La Bête Humaine byEmile Zola... I despise both books and I hated reading them!

12. What book do youpassionately hate?

Despite what I just said:Robinson Crusoe by DanielDefoe. Okay they're all books from school, so it doesn't help me, butman, this book? I read 100 pages and I couldn't go any furtherbecause it was just so loooong and boriiiing and oh my god he had tostop killing and eating animals. And really, a book to show me how tobe a good Christian? No thanks.

13. What is thebiggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

… See, I can still talkabout Bottero :D (Oh I'm doing this on purpose, yes.)

Okayactually this is a tie?? I wasn't expecting this. So the first onewas Les Chevaliers d'Emeraude +Les Héritiers d'Enkidiev with 12 books for the former and I don't know how many for the latter. Istopped at 2 for the second, so that's a total of 14 books I actually read.

Thesecond one is Pierre Bottero's series set in Gwendalavir, with 4trilogies, one “stand-alone” (*cries*) and a short story; so 14 books as well,that I consider as a book series because everything is linked and setin the same imaginary world.

14. What book givesyou happy memories?

OH COME ON I'MTRYING... I gotta go with Ellanaby Pierre Bottero because thepoetry touched me, and oh my God I see the next question, but thisbook is probably one of the first that made me cried for acharacter's death (although I don't think it occurs in the firstbook...), and it was just so so goodand it's the one that got me to read Bottero. So kudos and yay!

15. What book madeyou cry?

Just so I do NOT talkabout Bottero again, and stop with the French books, recently Isobbed madly while reading The Sweet Hereafter byRussell Banks. It was great. But yeah, I was ugly crying more thanonce.

16. What book madeyou laugh?

I had to mention that atsome point, but it has to go to Anything Goes byJohn & Carole E. Barrowman because just looking at the book makes me smile and Ilaughed a lot while reading it.

17. What is yourfavourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

La Meute bySlimane-Baptiste Berhoun (OH YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING, DIDYOU?) because I couldn't really find another book with lgbt+characters, sadly, and actually why would I? I loved that book.

19. Have you read abook set on another planet? What is it?

Technically Bottero'sbook must be set on another planet as they travel in our world :D(also I'm not sure I have read one clearly set on another planet soyou gotta accept that)

22. What famousauthor have you not read any books by?

Any recent famous author.The first I thought about was Stephen King, so there you go.

25. How many books doyou own?

Roughly, 40 (I mean, thatare really mine, not generally my family's) because I am pooooorand spent my childhood reading thanks to libraries so never really buying books ;)

26. What is yourfavourite non-fiction book?

Oh God I don't know whydon't you ask someone else?! (I really have no idea my brain won'twork)

27. What is yourfavourite children’s/middle-grade book?

… Les Âmes Croiséesby Pierre Bottero? :D (And I amnot kidding...) but this book is just... so... wonderful. It makes mego through a shit ton of emotions every time I read it, and it's justso wonderfully written and it kinda became a dream to follow. Eitherthe characters, or the fact that I want to write something asbeautiful as this, I don't know, but it helped me a great deal and Ienjoyed it a lot.

39. What bookoffended you?

The Cursed Child byI-don't-know-who-wrote-this-but-they-surely-never-touched-a-HP-book-in-their-lifebecause I read only a few pages and couldn't really go through it.Or, I mean, the mere existence of Fifty Shades of Greyoffends me.

40. What is theweirdest book you have read?

Suddenly Last Summer byTennessee Williams which is a play that I finished thinking “so whathappened??” and realised afterwards that I had understood nothing.When I mean nothing, I mean NOTHING: there was a rape? Really? Thedead guy was gay? I missed that? It was about cannibalism? What theheck people? (I must have been tired when reading...) But even once Iunderstood it, well, it still is a weird one ;)

43. What book did youbuy because of its cover?

Le Chant du Troll byPierre Bottero because it's prettyyyyy pretty very pretty :D

44. What is a bookthat you love, but has a terrible cover?

I don't particularly likethe cover of The Yellow Wallpaper byCharlotte Perkins (although it's a great cover for the book) justbecause it's kinda creepy and I wouldn't buy it.

45. Do you own apoetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

Yup, thanks to school morethan one ;) One of them is Les Fleurs du Mal byBaudelaire, and I'd say the poem L'Albatros butI have no idea why.

47. Do you own anyhistorical fiction?

I'm not sure I actuallyown any...

48. What book madeyou angry?

I think The Catcher inthe Rye by J.D. Salinger pissedme off because I hated the main character and I wanted to shake senseinto him by punching him repeatedly. / Madame Bovary byFlaubert, do I seriously need to explain why???

49. What book hasinspired you?

Actually, Verlaine did,with Romances sans paroles becauseI read it (for school again) while I was going through a hard time,and thought that poetry was quite nice, so I wrote some. And ithelped me, so, thanks Verlaine?

50. What book got youinto reading?

Probablysome book from Jean-Luc Luciani. I remember my school organizedsomething with him when I wasn't reading much, but then I rememberchecking his books and loving them, so it's probably him. (youknow in what book they talked about Jean-Luc Luciani? That's right,baby, Bottero did!)

[lemondice]

What Makes a Good Board Game Expansion

Hello all, today I’m going to be delving into the various board game expansions I have and talking about a few of them, trying to assemble an overall sense of what makes for a good expansion and what makes for a less worthwhile one.

What often doesn’t work #1: Nothing but more content

Perhaps the most low-hanging fruit to expand a board game is to just add more stuff.  Is there a central deck of cards?  Add more cards.  Are there action spaces? Add more spaces. The advantage to this approach is that it’s often easy to design, and it adds minimal learning overhead to the expansion.  However, there are a few disadvantages - a lot of games are built to be very tight, finely tuned engines around either the frequency of various card types or the availability of certain resources or spaces.  If you add more cards in, sometimes that tuning will be directly thrown off.  Even if you make an effort to adjust for it, the increased variance may impact the game (if you have a 50 card deck with 10 each of 5 types of cards, and players draw 45 cards from it over the course of the game, that’s going to lead to a much different set of distributions than if you have a 100 card deck with 20 each of 5 types of cards and 45 cards are being drawn).  But overall, the biggest issue is that this rarely feels exciting or new, unless the game is built around the cards and the expansion adds particularly vivid new cards.  Of course, sometimes an expansion will naturally add some extra elements (If an expansion adds a new resource or mechanic to a game with a central card deck, it makes sense to also add on a few cards that interact with that resource or mechanic - this is totally fine if those cards are just supporting an innovative idea, and aren’t the central focus of the expansion)

Example: Lords of Waterdeep: the Undermountain

The first mini-expansion to Lords of Waterdeep adds new quest cards, new buildings, and a few new action spaces.  The new cards and buildings are fine, if unexciting, but the new action spaces undermine the core balance of the game; purple and white cubes are extremely rare in the base game, so adding even 1 more location where you can grab them instantly lightens the sweet tension by too large an amount.

What often works #1: Add some asymmetry

Games often have to watch carefully how much of an impact choices that players make before the game starts have.  In a world where a lot of people would rather try out several games once than play the same game several times, forcing players to make an important decision early on can be a recipe for disaster, since they could set themselves up for failure based on inexperience.  In an expansion, this goes out the window - presumably your audience enjoyed the core game and has played it at least a few times before buying the expansion, so a great way to liven a game is to add an asymmetric element, player characters with unique abilities, or anything along those lines.

Examples: T’zolkin the Mayan Calendar, Teotihuacan

There are at least 3 or 4 games by the Italian designers Danielle Tascini and Simone Luciani that follow this approach - one of the main elements included in the expansion is a set of asymmetric player powers that players will select before the game begins.  This mixes things up, makes players see even the existing elements of the game in a new light through the lens of their power, and creates significant replay value, since you’ll want to try the game with each power.  7 Wonders does a similar thing in its terrific Leaders expansion.

What often doesn’t work #2: Add another type of resource

Much like #1, this is a natural design vein.  Players are collecting 4 different types of resources in your Euro game?  Why not add a 5th in the expansion?  However, unless that resource is collected or used in a substantially different way than the others (and sometimes even if it is), this is just going to feel like more of the same with a different name.  Furthermore, the more different types of resources there are to chase, the more the design will often feel watered down.

Examples: Everdell Pearlbrook, Terraforming Mars Colonies (specifically the Floaters resource & cards)

Pearlbrook is an example of how hard this second type of expansion is to get right - it adds a new resource, pearls, which are acquired in a new way using an entirely new type of worker and spent on several new things, and yet to my taste it still comes away feeling like it didn’t add much to the core game.

What often works #2: Add something that puts everything in the game into a new context

This may be easier said that done, but a common trait of the best expansions is that they’ll take the core gameplay of the original game and add just 1 or 2 things, but those things will be so central and so game changing that the other elements of the game will feel new as well as you interact with them in a new way.

Example: Dominion Prosperity

The Prosperity expansion for Dominion adds a few new cards, many of which are interesting, innovative, and fun.  However, the big change is that in the original game, you were racing to collect victory point buildings that cost $8.  With Prosperity, there are buildings that cost $11 and grant even more points.  This is a huge change, and it makes you reconsider any cards you might have loved or hated before, as a slower, longer game rewards you more for thinning out your deck of weak cards and picking up flexible actions, while making certain coin-granting cards less powerful.

What may work: Fix something broken from the base game

Is your game good, but with one element that players really hate?  Is there one aspect that you never quite figured out, but of course as soon as the ink dried on your printed copies you realized the perfect solution?  An expansion may be a good place to fix these things, as long as that isn’t all that you include.

Example: Kingsburg To Forge a Realm

The original Kingsburg had a woeful military system - creatures of unknown strength would come out at the end of each year, which you would need enough strength to beat or face huge, game-altering consequences.  In the original game, you took any military strength you had, and one die was rolled for the whole table, so it was easy for a player with a lot of strength to have wasted it with a high roll or a player who had enough strength to be fine the vast majority of the time to be knocked out of the game by a ‘1′.  Kingsburg’s expansion adds many things (including asymmetric player powers - see point 1 :) ) but one thing it does is fix the military system.  Now, there is no die roll - instead each player has a pool of tokens of various strength, and they pick one to use each year.  This adds to the suspenseful reveal while putting a few interesting decision points into the game, vastly improving the weakest element of Kingsburg.

That’s all I have for today, hope this was interesting to you!