#and its been maybe one rehersal per two days and not a big manic obsession three hour long rehearsal
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#im glad i dont need to see my psychologist right now#but i kind of wish i did just to show her wee milestones#like whenever i used to anticipate a Boundary conversation id always expect it to be a huge fight and end up irredeemably in the wrong#and id obsess over and over and over the same imaginary conversation genuinely non stop for weeks at a time#and every little way whoever i was setting a boundary with would try to catch me out and every single possible outcome#and it made me genuinely sick to do#and now ive been given a god awful shift pattern by my manager and im no longer being put in 2 days a week like i expected#and i was like oh fuck im gonna have to talk about this#and its been maybe one rehersal per two days and not a big manic obsession three hour long rehearsal#its been here is my issue. what can be done about this. what if they say no? advocate for self. what if they tell me to fuck off and die?#unlikely-cross this bridge when come to it#it was genuinely so nice to realise this hasnt consumed my every waking thought since i got given it#and i dont feel like a rabid animal trapped in a corner#personal#julie youd be so proud#im also happy that i havent spent the last week half hoping id get hit by a car so i wouldnt need to have the convo at all
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