#and it's not even to cry in private she literally spends the whole time standing there before tom comes up trying to pull herself together

[chaoticbardlady99]

LADs Fantasy Arranged Marriage AU

I was doing a writing warm up and it grew a life of it's own. This has probably been done a thousand times before but oh well.

Pairings: King! Sylus x Least Favored Princess! Reader, Underdog King! Caleb x Plebeian! Reader, King! Zayne x Beloved Princess! Reader, King! Rafayel x Princess! Reader, Prince! Xavier x High Priestess! Reader

CW: Violence, some families that really suck, uhhhh I don't think there is anything else

All KIND likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

Sylus:

You’re actually the one who wasn’t supposed to be marrying Sylus.

You are well known for being the castle's little Heathen with your riding skirts and sword fighting, and metalworking, more of a blacksmith’s wife than a Queen- in the least tasteful way.

It was your baby sister’s duty to marry the very rich Dragon King, but she’s the beloved baby. Your parent’s dearest- they couldn’t marry her off to a monster!

Hence why you are being sent to the literal serpent’s lair and quite likely your death

When you arrive, you’re surprised by how accommodating everyone already is and you fear the worst for when they realize you aren’t actually the bride to be

Sylus is gone to battle when you first arrive- something about the border being attacked- so you end up being pampered and treated like a queen

You learn very quickly that the people living under the Dragon King’s rule are very happy, quirky, and kind people.

You feel like you’re gonna cry on the final night before he comes home because you truly have come to adore “your” ladies in waiting and have felt very welcome by the entire culture around you

Your Knights specifically have grown very fond of you and you of them- Luke and Kieran are like the little brother’s you never had.

When you were brought before your future husband in his private chambers, you were preparing for your death.

 You look entirely different from your sister- different hair and eye color, slightly different bone and body structure. Surely this will be your last night alive.

However, you’re surprised to find that his once irritated expression upon your arrival disappears and turns into something entirely soft and victorious.

“Good, they did exactly what I wanted them to do.”

You find out that it was entirely on purpose- Sylus knew they wouldn’t send your sister willingly, but they knew they would be a pain in the ass if he asked for your hand in marriage.

“Why don’t you want to marry our youngest,” he mocks, “she’s so ladylike and proper.”

You spend the next several weeks together and you fall in love with each other easily- it’s hard to watch him go defend the Kingdom border again, worrying if he’ll come back or not.

He comes back, but he’s injured. You’re the first person waiting to greet him before the drawbridge is even brought down again. 

You help him get cleaned up and tend to his wounds- chastising him for his recklessness- and he smiles through the winces and pain. 

“Will you marry me?” he asks that night as you lay together, entirely unconventional but you had to know he was real and he you, “please be my Queen. Stand by my side.”

“I thought that was the plan, silly,” you teased.

“You will always have a home here, but marrying me and being by my side is a hard choice.”

You shook your head and kissed him sweetly, “no it’s not- it’s the easiest decision I have ever had to make.”

It’s a grand wedding and your whole family is invited- as followers of your Kingdom because Sylus conquered them as your wedding gift.

Your sister is thrilled though- she meets a nice man and it ends up being okay. She isn’t forced into royal duty like she was afraid to be and you both get to spend lots of quality time together.

Your parents, however, ended up in the Gallows after they tried to object to your Union.

Needless to say, you live a long life together- extremely happy and admired by all- and have a headstrong, stoic little girl (Luke and Kieran are great babysitters btw)

Caleb:

You and Caleb grew up in a poor village

Orphans together, you grew up on the streets and became petty thieves together to try to get by

You were the brains, he was the brawn

Eventually he was drafted into the military- they were just dragging people off the streets and he hid you in an abandoned building.

A year or two passed and the war ended, but Caleb hadn’t come back and you accepted that he may be gone

You struggled to live- having to turn tricks in brothels and take questionable jobs that probably should have taken your life a thousand times over

Another year passes and there is suddenly a massive war horn and an army from an unfamiliar flag charging the Kingdom. 

You were running through the Alleyway when you were cut off by a man on a white horse (yes, I had to, okay?)

You back against the wall and try to make yourself as small as possible as the man makes his way over to you.

When he takes off his helmet, you can’t help but burst into tears as you look at the man you thought disappeared from your life forever

He looks healthier, stronger, and still like his old goofy self, but a bit more steely.

“You are as beautiful as I remember you being,” he whispered before kissing you, “now I feel whole again.”

Caleb immediately makes you his Queen and anyone who dares speak of your past is pretty much executed on the spot (in spite of your protests).

Turns out Caleb had been taken Prisoner by another kingdom, bided his time for a year or so, took over the whole damn place, and then came to get you.

He isn’t upset with you for how you survived, he’s more upset with himself for leaving you to fend for yourself and wishes he had acted sooner.

You spend a lot of nights holding him after a nightmare of him being gone and vice versa- you two ached for each other every day and not knowing the other’s fate had been terrifying.

The wedding is gorgeous, everyone attends, and you make Caleb 100 times more likeable in the eyes of the people he took over.

There are whispers of the King being sweet on his Queen- something that hadn’t been heard of in centuries. 

“Caleb! You need to wait until I’m done gardening or I’ll never lie with you again!”

You’re the only one who gives the King a hard time or lip- the castle staff is pretty much gaping with shock everytime you command him around.

It’s even more jarring that the King listens like an obedient puppy.

There is the occasional uprising and nonsense, but overall, you both live a happy life and run an even happier kingdom- your love for each other is felt by and seen by all.

And if anyone forgets, they have your twin boys causing mischief in the townsquare to remind them.

Rafayel:

You and Rafayel had been betrothed since you were both in diapers.

You both hated it.

You never met one another, but it’s all anyone could ever seem to talk about.

“Do this for your husband that” and “your queen won’t like that” this

Both of you were so fed up that you were both considering having the other one assassinated so you didn’t have to go through with it. 

You accidentally meet each other at a party and talk for a whole hour before realizing who the other person is

It’s a fun conversation- you enjoy his company immensely and he yours

Then you find out who each other are and it’s like watching two Betta fish in the same tank

The wedding is stunning, but rigid and even the warm ocean air couldn’t bring any joy to this union.

But it wasn’t because you were unhappy to be marrying him, in fact, it’s the opposite.

You thought about your conversations that night religiously- the way he smiled, the sound of his laughter- how he made you laugh.

You didn’t realize that he felt the same way, but both of you are being dumb as hell and pretending to be unhappy with the marriage rather than the gaping loneliness. 

It’s about a month into your marriage that Rafayel finally breaks.

He storms into your chambers one day and is ready to give you a piece of his mind when he finds you crying.

“I-I’m sorry yo-you don’t want me, your Highness.”

Oh it could not have been further from the truth.

You hadn’t consummated your marriage yet, but that night you did

Rafayel showed you over and over again how much you mean to him- how much he desires you.

Sometimes you do get heated and fight with one another- Rafayel has a tendency to put his needs below others and it leaves you to prioritize him.

Rafayel often takes you to the expensive, private beach home he owns along the far end of your kingdom together

You eventually have two headstrong twin girls and a spoiled mini-Rafayel

Rafayel is a very attentive father to his “little guppies” and you are all often seen together- the entire kingdom is close with the Royal family.

You live a long, beautiful life together with the occasional argument, but Rafayel always brings a bouquet of flowers to apologize (even if he isn’t necessarily in the wrong).

Zayne:

You come from a weaker, smaller Kingdom that celebrates spring and you love where you live. You never wanted to leave.

You are their only daughter- the youngest of 9 boys. 

The King in the Arctic has requested your hand in marriage

You’ve only met him a handful of times at Galas in other kingdoms, you have never had any desire to visit the Arctic.

You spend your last day in your Greenhouse and enjoying the warm sun

Your mother sobs as she bids you farewell and your father won’t look you in the eye

The trip is borderline freezing, but a carriage and horses more fit for the snow intercept your caravan.

It’s your betrothed- Zayne- he was worried about your journey and wanted to ensure your safety and comfort.

The carriage is warm and donned with warm furs but you’re still extremely homesick.

You try to make the most of it and you try to be enthusiastic about planning the wedding

He says you can invite your family and already has designated guest rooms in the house for all of them to visit whenever they want.

You and Zayne don’t spend much time together- it always seems like he has an excuse to leave the room when you enter.

It’s extremely lonely- you miss your brothers, your parents, your greenhouse.

The week before your wedding, Zayne finally speaks to you for more than thirty minutes, in fact he takes your entire afternoon.

He takes you to a gift he’s been working on and cultivating for weeks- a Greenhouse with all of the plants you adore from home and a garden outside with plants that thrive in the cold.

“I am… not the best with expressing my emotions,” he says softly, “I hope this conveys how much you being here at my side means to me.” 

Your wedding is like a winter wonderland- your entire Kingdom comes and Zayne promises to protect your hometown and you with his life during your vows. 

You learn to love the snow and Winter holidays like Yule and New Years

You become an ice skating expert, you often take long evening strolls through the garden with Zayne, you spend your evenings curled up together next to a fireplace with a book or him with his reports.

He blossoms with marriage- the once shy man who was afraid to be around you is ravenous for your company, both physically and mentally.

You spend everyday being treated like a Queen and you treat him like a King in every sense of the way.

Your opinions are valued and you have made lots of changes for the Arctic kingdom- including creating more trade routes and ensuring safe spaces for the Hunters incase they get snowed in.

Zayne could not be more proud of the Queen you have become and the man you have encouraged him to be- he is often seen smiling now which was bizarre to the Kingdom’s people for the first year and a half (especially when he was passing out spring flower baskets with you).

The Arctic begins to host a spring festival, but never on the same day as your hometown. 

Zayne takes you back home every year for the spring festival and eventually your three young daughters come along with you.

Xavier: 

You are a High Priestess in your Kingdom- a seer and Prophetess of sorts.

Xavier is the Crowned Prince who is supposed to be looking for a bride.

He is introduced to the cherished Princess of your Kingdom, but he only asks about you.

You try to explain that you are a High Priestess- you aren’t to marry- but that only seems to encourage his need to sweep you off your feet.

Xavier leaves your Kingdom as an enemy to the Kingdom (you don’t just reject the Princess), but he continues to send extravagant gifts to you and Holy objects. 

You start exchanging letters and against your common sense, you fall in love with him and you desire to be with him.

You spend months feeling a sick guilt and a rush of adrenaline- your secret love affair with the Prince of an enemy kingdom created an inner turmoil in you that you had never felt before.

The Princess, however, was still very upset about being rejected and noticed that the High Priestess was recently wearing very beautiful jewelry- not the humble bullshit of the church.

Your room was ransacked by the King’s men and they found your correspondences.

Your trial isn’t very long- the evidence is damning.

You’re doomed to hang following your treason.

You dream of Xavier saving you at the last moment, but you chalk it up to wishful thinking.

You are being walked to the Gallows when the canon fire begins.

The Kingdom is under attack!

The guards rush you to the Gallows- the King demands your death and maybe this kingdom will leave them alone when they realize their prized High Priestess is dead.

The rope necklace is heavy- as heavy as your chest as tears rain down your face.

You think of Xavier- your light, your Prince. You wish you could have seen him one final time.

Your dream comes true- Xavier saves you just in time- sending a flash of light through the rope right as they dropped you.

You hit the ground, but he’s by your side in an instance while his soldiers arrest the King, the Princess, and the rest of the Soldiers.

“I got here as quickly as I could,” he touches your face, unsure if you are real at all, scared he didn’t actually make it in time, “I will never let anyone harm you again.”

And he didn’t

You went from being a High Priestess to a crowned Princess, but you were still sought out by the Kingdom folks for fortune telling and religious counsel.

Your wedding is gorgeous (for the obvious reasons), but because Xavier’s brother is ahead of him for King, you become Duke and Duchess in a smaller town within the Kingdom boundaries and live in a rustic, cozy cottage together in a beautiful neighboring Kingdom.

You are beloved by your subjects- you and Xavier both- and are very close with them.

The day your baby boy is born, the entire kingdom celebrates- from the tiniest village to the biggest castle.

The light of your union shines in every corner of your shared Kingdom. You live a long life together and people far and wide believe you were divinely brought together.

The economy of the small town you live in is booming- you and Xavier ensure that everyone is well fed and taken care of.

Oh and people learn not to flirt with you pretty quickly- the first and last guy lost his pinkie.

[naivety]

celebration, 2x01 succession / jennifer s. cheng, so we must meet apart; “august 24, 2018” / all the bells say, 3x09 succession

[httpdabi]

Jealousy

Word count: 6,5k

Genre: Smut, romance, no quirk lol

Warnings: 18+, a little bit of choking, a little bit of daddy kink, rough sex, dom!dabi , jealousy kinda, unprotected sex, alcohol

Credit to the owner of the pic!!

✨Friends to lovers fic✨

Throwing your phone across the room, deep breath coming out of your mouth. The fact that he was coming back today made the time pass so slow it was painful. You were glancing at your phone every now and then checking what time it is, knowing he should arrive around 17PM. Rolling down on your old bed, you took a good look of your room.

Pastel pink walls, white bed, small working table in the left corner of the room. Beside your bed were photos taped on the wall. All those photos woke a memory in you. Some of the photos were of you and your friends, but most of them were of you and Dabi.

Dabi.

Your childhood best friend. You will never forget the day you first met him. Shy little Touya not wanting to play with your dolls. I’M A MAN. He screamed back then, throwing the doll away, making you cry loudly. You will never forget how scared he got in the moment you started screaming around, trying to hush you down somehow. He did everything he could hoping his parents won’t hear.

Yours and Touya’s parents were literally best friends, visiting each other almost every day. Having to face him so often, you two almost had no choice then to become friends. At the beginning none of you were impressed by each others company. But how both of you grew up, you were becoming closer and closer. At some point, you two became inseparable.

When Touya started getting piercings, you were so jealous. You wanted to get that Certilage piercing just like him, but your parents were so strict even the thought of it made their hair get up. Of course Touya being Touya, he didn’t give a two shits about their decision. Picking you up one day after school and brining you to his friend that did his piercings too. That night both families were fighting. His parents lecturing him how he is such a bad influence to you, and your parents screaming on you how you’ll never get married with piercing like that. Saying it’s not ladylike.

,, If no one marries her, I will’’ Touya said, making your heart flutter, and everyone else in the room laughed loudly, finding it cute how he was protecting you.

Of course, growing up both of you went different directions in your life. Moving out of your parents place was best thing that happened to you. Having that freedom you never had before, you were appreciating even little things.

Dabi moved out in another city, saying he never wanted to live in his hometown anyway. Of course, there wasn’t a day that he didn’t contact you. But having him so far away made things much harder for you. The only positive thing about him moving to another city was the fact that your huge crush on him would melt down, at least you hoped so.

You were so in love with him. How could you not be ? Having him around so much, such a handsome and good guy, you simply had to develop feelings toward him.

Walking downstairs, you heard Enji laughing loudly at something your father said. You visiting your parents home again, while Todoroki’s were also there, all of you waiting for Dabi to return. It made your heart warm up again, missing moments when all of you were spending time together so often.

Making your way toward kitchen, you opened the fridge looking for something to eat. Not that you were hungry, you were simply bored and something had to kill that boredom.

Taking the milk pudding, you opened it and took one spoon. You tried to multitask somehow, with one hand you were eating the pudding, while with other hand just scrolling your instagram feed.

Suddenly, a head placed on your shoulder, trying to see what you were looking at. Your parents always did that. They had to know why you were always holding that damn phone in your hands.

,, Dad, this is private, I’m not a child anymore’’ you whined, pushing your fathers head away. You hated when he does that, privacy is privacy and it has to be respected.

,, I didn’t know you were into daddy kink’’ a familiar voice whispered, making you flinch in surprise. Turning around you immediately jumped on the person standing behind you. Dabi laughed, placing his hand around your waist hugging you strongly, before he pulled you up in the air.

,, You little piece of shit, I missed you so much’’ you said hugging him back, not paying any attention to your parents in the background.

The rest of the day was all about Touya. How he was, what did he do, does he have a girlfriend and so on. Of course he liked to be the center of the attention, talking about everything. Not that you were complaining, you were sinking in every word that came out of his mouth, admiring him as always.

At the end of the day, your parents made plans that this week all of you should meet and have a super cool bbq like in the old times. Which meant one big ass sleep over, with Todoroki’s. Those nights were always amazing, so much food, so much sweets and of course so much alcohol for grown ups. That was the reason why Rei and Enji slept over after all. All of them would simply get wasted.

Dabi decided he will sleep at your place, since he never saw your new apartment, all of them agreeing, knowing that there’s a lot he probably wanted to tell you.

First both of you went to his old home, placing his suitcase and taking just few stuff to bring over. He didn’t want to waste any time, since his parents were still at your place, and he really wanted to finally see your new apartment.

Placing his bag in his hallway, he immediately went inside your living room, looking around, commenting what doesn’t look good and how he would decorate it much better. He opened the fridge, feeling like home and took one ice cream out of the freezer. Making his way toward your couch.

,, So, where’s that piece of shit called Kai’’ he asked, biting the chocolate on the ice cream. You were confused a bit, since you broke up with Kai long time ago.

,, Didn’t I already tell you? It’s been six months since we broke up’’ you laughed out. How can it be possible that you left your dear Touya uninformed about your love life.

,, Oh, that breaks my heart.’’ He said sarcastically. ,, What happened?’’ he added licking the ice cream.

,, Well, he cheated on me’’ you lied, sitting down beside him. Well, technically he did cheat on you, but the reason behind it was because he found out about your feelings about Dabi. He found out that he was only being used to forget your one sided love. Not that you didn’t like Kai, you did find him attractive, but you couldn’t force yourself to do with him stuff every couple did. Which made him cheat on you, hoping he will make you step further. But at his surprise you did something every normal person would do, broke up with him.

You did feel disappointed that you two had to part your ways like that, but you also understood him and with that you couldn’t force yourself to hate him or be that much hurt.

,, He didn’t deserve you anyway. I have no idea what did you see in him. Dude looks like he fed a whole Village in Africa, no offense ‘’ he said, making you laugh.

,, Anyway, we are invited to Mina’s birthday this Saturday’’ you said placing both of your legs on the table.

,, Aren’t we having a bbq that day?’’ Dabi asked as he placed the stick of his ice cream on the table.

,, Yeah, but we can still go tho. They’ll be really happy to see you again, I told everyone that you are back’’ you said, as he placed his head on your lap. You smiled, knowing how much he loves when you play with his hair.

,, Sure, we can do both. I am glad I’ll see them all again’’ he said making your stomach twist out of jealousy. You knew how much Yua and Akari liked Dabi. Of course you were friends, but the fact that all these two had their eyes on him made your blood boil. Even Mina was into him, until she found a boyfriend recently. They didn’t know that you liked him, but you knew very well that they weren’t happy that you had him by your side all the time.

After telling you about the city and all his experience, you two decided to go to sleep since it was already 2AM. You went to the bathroom to change into your silk pajama, coming back only to find Dabi in your bed wearing only shorts.

,, I really wanna get some tattoos too’’ you said looking the tattoos over his chest and arms, wanting to touch every single one of them.

,, Do it’’ he simply said, placing his arms under his head. You just rolled your eyes on him, he knew very well that you weren’t that brave.

,,You can sleep here, I’ll crash on the couch’’ you said ready to stand up. He was a guest after all, and for him you would sleep on the floor if he asked you to.

,, Of course you’re not’’ he said grabbing your arm and pulling you in the bed beside him. Wrapping his one arm around you.

,, Don’t get all cold with me suddenly’’ he laughed while covering both of you with your covers. Of course, you two slept together in one bed before, it wasn’t something unusual. But knowing how you feel about him, you knew that with every move like this, your feelings will grow back even stronger then they were before.

,, Touya, we aren’t children anymore’’ you said, trying to wiggle out of his grip.

,, That’s exactly what I was thinking about. Might as well do stuff adults do’’ he said jokingly, making you push him even harder. Making sure you are smiling he just held you stronger repeating that he was joking.

Once you realized that he won’t really give up, you just gave in, preparing yourself for one sleepless night with him.

Dabi placed your leg over him, slowly caressing your tight while telling you about some nonsense like he did before until you would fall asleep. Once he thought that you fall asleep, you felt his long arms around you and his lips on your head.

Having him so close to you, he didn’t know what effect he had on you. For him it was just one normal night, while for you it was something you won’t be able to keep out of your mind next upcoming weeks.

The next days it was like before. Dabi was spending more time at your place as he did home. You two would spend time together, playing games, going grocery shopping together, visiting cafes and so on. You even saw Akari in one café, and of course she was all over Dabi. You couldn’t watch it, she was touching his arm so recklessly, and the fact that he wasn’t doing anything about it didn’t’ help either.

Excusing yourself, you said that you felt sick. Dabi wanted to follow you home, but Akari was insisting how he should stay, since they didn’t see each other for such a long time. Not wanting to make any scene, you just told him to stay, not to worry and left them.

On your way home, you felt terrible. It wasn’t anything big, but yet you overacted there and had to leave. But you simply couldn’t watch or hear anything more. You were the one that was supposed to touch him like that. You wanted to touch all those tattoos, and even tho you were his best friend you couldn’t find the courage to do it. Yet, stupid Akari did it without a problem.

Knowing that Dabi will probably just come back to your place, you made your way toward your parents house, not ready to face him somehow. In that moment you wished you didn’t gave him your spare keys. You didn’t want to wait for him and think about what they were doing.

Of course your parents were more then happy to welcome you home. Since you moved out you didn’t sleep at their place that often. But they knew something was wrong, not wanting to bother you, they just let you be.

Once again the night was sleepless for you. Dabi did contact you, asking if you are ok and if he should bring something to you, but once you saw that Akari posted him on her Instagram story, you couldn’t even force yourself to text him back.

You knew that It was so childish of you, he didn’t even know how you feel about him, yet that something small would upset you so much. But your feelings were getting better of you. The whole night you were rolling around in your bed, thinking if he’s home yet, if they are fucking somewhere. You were thinking what would have happened if you just stayed. If you did, he would probably just leave home with you.

Waking up next morning, you wanted to kill yourself. The soreness in your eyes didn’t help either. You saw few messages from Dabi, asking where you are, yada yada. Seeing that it was sent around 4am, you tossed your phone across the bed. Did he stay that long with her ?

You slowly stood up and made your way toward the bathroom, brushing your teeth before leaving home. Your parents were insisting that you should stay, and spend the rest of the day with them. It was Saturday anyway, so you’ll be here later anyway.

But you didn’t want, you had to clean your apartment a bit together with your thoughts. Also it was Minas birthday today, so you had to get ready before you leave for the bbq and her birthday.

Opening the door of your apartment, you saw Dabi’s shoes placed beside yours. Slowly tip toeing, you found him in your bedroom asleep. You slowly closed the door, and started cleaning quietly, making sure not to wake him up.

You wanted to lay down beside him, and simply cuddle yourself close to his body, but because of the thought of the last night, you also wanted to grab his hair and force him out of your apartment.

Of course, once he woke up, you couldn’t be mad at him anymore. You had to act it up, and just ignore what happened, after all how could you explain to him why were you even mad ? Dabi left your place around 16PM, leaving you all alone with your thoughts once again. You whished you could tell him how you felt, you wished he would understand.

When the time came, you wore your light purple spaghetti strap dress. Since the evenings were still kidna cold, you decided to wear your oversized black cardigan that was the same length as your dress. Covering just enough.

After doing your make up and straightening your hair, you placed your small bag over your shoulder and wore your overknee lace up boots before you left. The cardigan was bothering you a bit, since you knew how hot it usually gets when you’re in club, but once the wind brushed your naked tight, you didn’t mind it anymore.

Once you got at your parents place, you helped them with all the preparing. Your mom didn’t let you prepare the food, being scared you’ll ruin your dress. But you still helped with plates and all the alcohol. Placing everything on the table outside.

When they arrived Enji and your dad immediately started with the bbq. Rei and your mom were simply enjoying the evening and sipping on their wine, waiting for their food. While both of you and Dabi were simply on your phones. Once again you were upset, all of them complimented your looks, everyone but him. Piece of shit like he looked any better, whit his simple white shirt and jeans.

Lies.

He looked so beautiful without any effort, the tattoos on his arm totally visible.

You took the wine from the table filling your glass, drinking it fast down. Just the thought of Akari and other girls being all over him was driving you crazy. You had to prepare yourself.

,, Slow down doll, I don’t want to spend the rest of my night holding your hair in the toilet’’ Dabi said taking the now empty glass away from you and laughing a bit.

,,Don’t worry about me, I’m capable of taking care of myself on my own’’ you said taking the glass back and filling it with wine again. Who does he think he is ?

When the meat was done, both of you ate and drank a bit before leaving. Dabi didn’t want to drive since he also had plans to drink. Enji was insisting on giving you a ride, but you two didn’t want to break his fun, after all the club wasn’t that far away.

,,So, who will be there tonight?’’ Dabi asked you, taking the box of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one cigarette.

,, Mina of course, Yua, Himari, Ryohei, Hiro, Akari and Kai’’ you said, placing your hands in the pockets of your cardigan.

,, We should make your little Kai jealous, what do you think?’’ He said, placing his arm around your shoulders.

,, Nah, no need’’ you said looking down on the floor.

When you arrived the club was already full of people. Thankfully Mina waited for you two in front of the club, not wanting for you two to waste your time looking for them. You gave her the present that you and Dabi bought few days ago and graduated her. Knowing that Mina is in relationship with Hiro, so the hug she gave Dabi didn’t bother you so much.

Once you got inside, you greeted everyone and ordered your drinks. Of course Akari was giving all of her attention to Dabi, trying to get as close as possible to him.

None of you wanted to wait, so all of you ordered your drinks. You ordered Malibu with cherry juice, you were up for something sweet. Since the sweet drinks kick in much faster and that’s exactly what you needed. Dabi ordered whisky, while Kai, Hiro and Ryohei ordered pure Vodka. Rest of the girls ordered Wine.

,, Hey’’ you heard very familiar voice close to your ear. You turned around sipping on your drink, welcoming Kai with a small smile and nodding your head.

,, How are youu?’’ he asked loud enough for you to hear. Body too close to your own in your opinion.

,, I am good and you?’’ you simply answered finishing your drink, asking yourself why is he starting this random boring chat. Realizing that your friends were eyeing you and your ex down, you smirked to yourself. If they only knew, how little shit you gave about him.

,, Let’s go get another round of drinks’’ you said, and made your way toward the bar, while Kai was following every step you made.

,, You look beautiful tonight’’ Kai pointed after you ordered what everyone was drinking. Well, at least someone appreciates your effort tonight, you thought to yourself.

,, Thank you, you look cool yourself’’ you said already trying your drink, while giving the money with your right hand to the bartender. He didn’t look bad at all, wearing black button up shirt, one part of it tucked in his jeans. His typical black convers shoes. He looked good.

Once you two got back, placing all the drinks on the table, you could feel Dabi’s eyes on you. You weren’t sure if he wanted to tell you something, so you took his Whisky and went to him.

,, What is it ?’’ you asked giving him his drink.

,, Nothing at all’’ he replied eying you down. He was about to say something more, but Akari interrupted him, saying some nonsense. Not wanting to watch them together, you just left them, making your way toward Ryohei, Himari and Kai on the dancefloor.

All of you were dancing. Jumping around and waving your body to the sound of the music. You realized that Kai was trying real hard to get you to himself, but sadly your drinks didn’t hit you that much yet. Still the only person that was on your mind was Dabi. You wanted to look at him, and see what’s he doing, but you were afraid once you turn around you’ll find Akari all over him again, or even worse making out with him. It would definitely ruin your night.

After few more drinks, you finally started getting tipsy. While Mother Mother was playing, you and Himari were jumping around, making your way back toward the table to get your other drink that was already there, you two were screaming at each other ,, My daddy’s got a gun, My daddy’s got a gun, My daddy’s got a gun, you better run’’ moving your body crazily just as the music was.

,, Cheers’’ Himari screamed, once both of you placed a bit salt on your hand. Licking the salt of your hand, both of you drank the tequila fast before sucking the lemon. Making the weird face, both of you laughed preparing another shot.

Making your way back to the others, both of you were going crazy to the beat of the song you loved. With a new drink in your hand, you didn’t think about the consequences. After all the music was just so good, you simply had to drink.

Dancing around, you felt a body pressed against your. Tilting your head to the side, you realized it’s Kai standing behind you, trying to get as much of you as he could. At that moment you didn’t give a fuck anymore, just giving in and dancing with him. You saw Himari and Mina laughing at you, thinking you two will get together.

,, I’ll go smoke one fast, wanna come?’’ Kai asked. You simply shook your head giving him a sign that you'll simply wait and found yourself once again dancing with Himari. You were glad Himari was there, since without her you wouldn’t have much fun as you had now.

,, You are fast’’ you said, feeling Kai’s body behind you again. Slow down by Chase Atlantic started playing, no better song for grinding your body against someone else. Moving your body slowly, you felt his hands holding your hips firmly.

,, Are you sure you aren‘t into daddy kink doll?“raspy and deep voice made you twitch in shock. ,, What’s wrong? Didn’t expect me ?’’ he added, holding your hips stronger, not giving you any chance to move away from him.

You felt like there was no need to answer him, since Mina bought you another drink you were already busy sipping on your drink . After all, all you wanted to do was drink and get wasted in that moment anyway. So you moved your body from the side to the side, enjoying how close his body was to yours.

Realizing that you drank your drink, Dabi took it form your hand and gave it to the bartender that was passing by anyway. Turning you around to face him, he took your arms and placed them around his neck, while his own arms found their way to your waist.

,, Wasn’t the plan to make Kai jealous?’’ he asked. You could feel his hot breath on your ear. Tilting your head a bit to the left, you closed your eyes and gave him a small nod with the biggest grin ever.

The grin was long gone once you felt his hands over your ass, squeezing it tightly. ,, Then why am I at the end the jealous one ?’’ He asked giving you one more squeeze. Drunk like that you forgot about your friends and what might they think.

,, Is this how you treat your daddy?’’ he added, not giving you a chance to even progress the last question he gave you. You were never into daddy kink, but coming from his lips, you were ready to call him daddy as much as he wanted.

,, I want.. drink.. haha’’ you said laughing, hoping he will get you another one, since you weren’t capable to do it on your own anymore.

,, We are going home’’ he said. He was already tipsy on his own, but nowhere drunk as you were. He told everyone that you two are leaving, not giving you much time to greet them. Seeing disappointed look on Akari’s face made your night. IN YOUR FACE YOU BITCH ASS HOE

Dabi helped you wear your cardigan, and placed your bag over your shoulders, before he placed his hand around your waist helping you walk a bit. Well, you could walk, but with his grip around you, it was much easier.

,, I thought you could take care of yourself’’ he said once you two were outside. He placed you on the nearest bench, just to light up his cigarette before he pulled you up once again. You placed your arm around his shoulders, bragging about how you can walk perfectly fine.

,, Stop pissing me off doll, you’re hard to hold’’ he said as his grip was getting stronger.

,,Or what ?’’ You laughed, taking the cigarette from him and placing it between your lips. You don’t smoke usually, but alcohol took over you. Dabi laughed surprised, not used at the sight of you smoking.

,, My little Touya, you weren’t even born when I started smoking’’ you managed to say, while he was just laughing at the nonsense you were telling him.

Dabi didn’t know what he should do first, hold you firmly or pull your dress down, scared it was to high up for everyone else to see what’s under it.

,,Now, behave yourself, we are almost home’’ he said pulling your dress down a little, and throwing the almost done cigarette from your lips on the floor.

At his and your surprise both of your parents were still outside enjoying their time. You threw your arm up in the air ready to greet them, but Dabi stopped you fast enough. It’s not like your parents have anything against you drinking. But he wasn’t in a mood to talk with them about anything tonight. And he knew very well that drunk like that you were more then ready for a chat with them.

,, Already home?’’ Enji screamed once he saw you two. You were ready to brag about how you wanted to party a bit longer, but Dabi once again stopped you, telling them how you didn’t feel good that much.

,,What’s your problem man ?’’ You hissed at the party breaker that was pulling you upstairs to your room. Looking how your parents prepared your room made you grin. There was a mattress beside your bed prepared for Dabi.

,, They really think you’ll sleep down there’’ you grinned.

,, Obviously’’ Dabi said, placing you slowly on your bed.

,, Now, change into your pajama while I’m brushing my teeth’’ he said slowly, making sure you understand every word.

With alcohol in your system, you just lain down to rest a bit, before getting all the power and will you had to change.

Pulling your dress over your head, you started looking for your pajamas. Seeing Dabi’s shirt on the floor, you felt satisfied and just wore it. Standing there in the room, you thought if it’s his shirt he wore today, or just the one he got himself for bed. You would rather sleep naked than in a shirt he just wore in the club. Even the thought of the smell of all the smoke and alcohol made you feel dizzy.

Taking the part of his shirt, you pulled it close enough for you to sniff it making sure it’s not his shirt from clubbing.

,,What are you doing doll? ‘’ You froze. Looking to the side, you saw him leaning on the doorframe while smirk was formed on his lips. Luckily there was enough alcohol in your system to feel embarrassed in that very moment, since the view of you sniffing his shirt was weird as fuck.

,, Can’t get enough of me ?’’ he added getting closer to you. ,, You have to wear some shorts, or I’ll really be forced sleep on the mattress tonight’’ he added looking you up and down, while you just stood there speechless.

,, Come here, let’s take off your make up’’ he said, placing his hand on your back, leading the way to the bathroom.

Once you were in the bathroom, Dabi pulled you up, making you sit on the washing machine. Slowly helping you wash your teeth. Swinging your legs playfully, Dabi almost poured the water he prepared for you on the floor. Placing the glass to the side, he took your legs and wrapped them around his waist. Even tho you weren’t sober, you could completely understand the position you were in. Taking the wet wipes he started cleaning your make up carefully. You just closed your eyes enjoying his touch on your face, while he was giving his best to do it gentle as possible.

Sudden feel of a skin brushing over your nose made you open your eyes. Seeing his face not even inches from yours, made you froze. His nose brushing against your own, before you felt his soft lips against your own.

,, You are driving me crazy’’ he said, placing his forehead against yours. Not thinking twice you placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss. At first you knew that he was surprised since he just stood there, but after a short second you felt him smile into the kiss, leaning in and wanting more.

With his hands under your, or better to say his own shirt, he was moving them up and down slowly. The touch of his hands rubbing your naked skin softly made you want more of him. Pulling him closer with your legs, you placed your hands on his chest , wanting to feel everything you could.

Pulling your head back breaking the kiss, you attacked his neck, leaving wet kisses all over it. Touya pulled your body up, placing his hands on your ass, making his way toward your room. Making small breaks while pushing your body against the wall trying to kissing you like his life depended on it.

Once he placed you on the bad, he didn’t waste any time, hovering over you and kissing your neck. Wanting everyone to know to who you belong to. He wanted to make sure the next time you see Kai, he will know that Dabi is the one that’s dicking you down.

,, I know you couldn’t stand the sight of me and Akari, but grinding on Kai like a little whore, making me all jealous was really unnecessary’’ he gasped between kisses. Pulling the shirt over your head he threw it over the room, leaving you only in your panties. ,, especially in that little dress of yours” he added, as he looked over your half naked body.

,, Fuck you, what did you expect of me, I was mad’’ you moaned out once you felt his lips on your breast, sucking and biting it.

,, Well.. guess what’’ he said, still sucking your boob, while squeezing the other one.

,,What?’’ you breathed out, eyes closed while enjoying his lips on your body.

,, Daddy will punish his little naughty girl’’ he said, once again leaving wet love marks all over your chest.

,,Touya, I’m really not into daddy kink’’ you said, your hands deep inside his hair.

,, But I am’’ he said, his head in front of your, making eye contact with you. ,, And tonight I want everyone to know who your real daddy is. I want everyone to know who you belong to’’ he said, wrapping his hand around your throat. ,, Do you understand me ?’’ he added.

,,Yes’’ you whispered, not breakig the eye contact.

,,Yes what?’’ he asked as his hand started to apply pressure to your throat. Not being used to choking, you couldn’t really manage to give him the right answer. It wasn’t the kind of choking where you felt like passing out because of the lack of oxygen, but you were still new to it.

,,Yes daddy’’ you managed to say somehow. Satisfied with your answer, Dabi moved his hand away from your throat, leaving small kisses over the same spot where his hand left small marks.

,, Such a good girl’’ he said, pulling your panties down. Licking his lips, as you were exposed to him. The fact that you were so valuable to him, and knowing how much power he had over you was turning Touya even more on.

Not wasting any time, he spread your thighs further apart, his head leaning down to run his tongue through your folds. Feeling his tongue piercing on your clit, something you always wanted to feel, made you throw you head back into the pillow, while grabbing Dabi’s head pulling him closer to yourself.

Licking you around your opening, the warm and hot feeling of his tongue, mixed with cold feeling of his piercing was making you shiver. You could feel him smirk against your core as he saw how much effect he has on you. You moan as his lips and tongue move against your folds, eating you out like it’s his last meal.

,,Touya please’’ you moan out, as he sucks roughly on your bundle of nerves, causing your body to jolt up, as your fingers grab his messy hair.

Flicking his tongue roughly and tugging your clit, his hands were holding your thighs firmly, as his light blue eyes were focused on you. It doesn’t take him long to make you cum all over his mouth, his name falling from your lips shamelessly. Climbing over you, he kissed you passionately, making you taste yourself on his lips.

Pulling away from the kiss, you started kissing his tattoos, something you wanted to do long time ago. Especially since he came back. Dabi breathed heavily, his head hanging low, while you were under him kissing every little line that covered his body.

He gave you the time you needed, exploring his body as much as you wanted. But once he felt your small hands pulling down his shorts together with his boxers, and licking the tip of his already erected dick, he had to stop you. At your surprise, even his dick was pierced.

,, Another time doll’’ he said, pulling you up. ,, I’ve been dying to fuck you since forever’’ he added, slowly rubbing the tip of his dick around your core. Without any warning his slammed his whole length inside making your scream both in pleasure and pain. Wiggling a little, trying to move just a bit away from him, hoping the pain will go away. But Touya couldn’t let that happened, now when he finally had his dick deep inside you.

,,Just relax baby’’ he said not moving, letting you adjust to his size. Placing soft kisses all over your jaw, then slowly moving out of you, only for him to slide back in, so slow that you could feel every vain of his dick move, together with his piercing rubbing your walls.

Dabi was moving so slow, grinding his hips against yours, as his fingers were rubbing your clit gently. Sliding out of you only until the edge of his head remains, before moving slowly again in, repeating the same move all over again. Only God knew how much he wanted to break you.

,, Touya’’ you moan out once he wraps his fingers with yours, placing your left arm above your head, while his right fingers were still rubbing your clit in circles. Your legs shake as you wrap them around him, another orgasm hitting you hard.

Dabi moans with you, as you squeeze his dick while riding of your orgasm. With you having your second orgasm, he couldn’t hold himself any longer. Your warm walls around him coated in juices were driving him crazy. All the soft and slow moves were forgotten, making his motions now much deeper and intense. Pulling out till the end and slamming recklessly into you again. Groaning in pleasure, he was slamming into you with a speed you could only imagine.

,, Touya, slow down’’ you moaned, closing your eyes, still sensitive from your second orgasm. ,, I don’t think I can take it’’ you added, trying to catch your breath.

,,Of course you can take it. Look at you, you’re taking it right now doll’’ he groaned, holding your hips in one place while fucking you hard like no one ever has before. You were a moaning mess, with every move your moans were louder.

,, Oh God, Touya’’ you moaned, fingers still connected to his. Grabbing his back with your left hand and digging your fingers inside his skin.

,, You’re takng it so well love’’ he said, groaning as he felt the pressure of your nails digging into his back. ,, Go ahead, scratch my back as much as you want’’ he added kissing you sloppily.

Once he started rubbing your clit again, you found yourself digging your nails into his back like a wild cat, finding comfort in it. ,, Touya’’ you moaned his name out as both of you were coming closer to your highs. You could feel his dick twitching inside of you, his moves becoming more deeper and jankier. His eyes were shut, while your body started shaking once again. Once again you felt your orgasm pulsing through your stomach, and there you were again squeezing his dick not being able to control yourself as you moaned his name over and over again. Dabi continued fucking you , his groans getting louder and louder, feeling your walls getting tighter and tighter while you were milking his dick down, he released. Emptying his seeds deep into you.

Both of you stayed in the same position, trying to breath normally. His thumb gently rubbing your hand, as he placed kisses all over your bruised neck.

,, You have no idea how much I wanted to be with you’’ he said between the kisses. ,,I’m so in love with you doll’’ he breathed out, making you feel butterfly’s inside your stomach.

,, Are you?’’ you asked, tilting your head just enough to look at him.

,, Don’t act like you didn’t know already’’ he said smiling, while brushing his nose against your cheek. Of course you didn’t know.

,,Fuck you, I was dying here for you, thinking my love is just one sided’’ you said hitting his chest lightly. ,, I even dated Kai hoping I’ll forget you somehow’’ you added hitting him once again, making him laugh a bit.

,, Don’t mention his name. That’s the past. You belong to me now, only me’’ he said, grabbing your jaw and kissing you. You were always his anyway.

,, All yours, Touya’’ you said, kissing him back-

,, Are you kids awake ? ´´ Enji’s head peeked inside your room, finding his eldest son naked on top of his best friends daughter. Making him choke on the air and forgetting the actual reason he was looking for you two.

[shemarmooresfedora]

Daisies Mean ‘I’m an Idiot’

Summary: Spencer unintentionally declines when Y/N asks him out because he couldn’t possibly be the man she was describing to Penelope in her office.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, one swear word

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: this is for @homoose ‘s 2k celebration. congrats!! sorry for the angst but the ending is super fluffy to make up for it!

Spencer was going to drop off a file to Garcia when he heard the hushed whispers of you and Penelope. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop so he was beginning to quietly close the door but something caught his attention.

“Penelope, I don’t think I can ask him out. He’s literally way out of my league.”

Spencer’s movements halted, he knew it was wrong but he had to hear the end of this conversation. Spencer didn’t think it was possible that someone could be out of your league, you were perfect.

“I know for a fact he will say yes, Y/N,” Penelope assured you.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see me like that but I really wish he did. I love talking to him and he is so kind and cute and goddamn perfect,” you whined.

Spencer closed the door. He had heard enough. Whoever this guy was was the luckiest man on Earth.

-

Okay, there he is. He’s just sitting at his desk doing files like usual, no big deal. You can do this, Y/N.

You were trying to work up the courage to ask Spencer out. You had saved it for until after you had finished your files and Hotch had told you that you were free to go so that if this went south, you could leave quickly.

“Hey, Spencer,” you slowly approached his desk.

He looked up from his file and for some reason, his warm smile didn’t seem as bright today. Already a great start.

“Uh there’s um a showing of Little Women tonight and I know you said you have read the book multiple times but never seen the movie and I-I already have two tickets and-” you began to say.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought but I’m busy,” Spencer quickly cut you off, looking back down at his file.

“Oh um okay. S-Sorry to bother you,” you twisted your lips, trying to not let the tears overflow just yet.

You grabbed your coat and bag from your desk and hurriedly made your way to the glass doors.

Penelope was on her way to make copies when she passed you repeatedly hitting the elevator button as if it would make the elevator get to the sixth floor faster.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

You turned around with tears running down your cheeks, “He said no, Pen. I was in the middle of asking him to a movie and dinner and he cut me off. He must have known where I was going with it and shut me down as quickly as possible. God, I’m so stupid,” you sniffled.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open as you stepped inside.

“Will you go with me? I still wanna watch the movie so I have an excuse to cry in the dark while eating candy and popcorn with my best friend,” you asked.

“Of course, I’ll go with you, sweetie,” she agreed, “But I really don’t understand why Spencer said no.”

“Because he doesn’t like me like that...just as I thought,” you sighed as the elevator doors closed.

-

Spencer felt bad for turning down your movie invitation but he knew you would find someone else to go with. Maybe it would even give you the push to ask out that guy. As much as it would kill Spencer on the inside, he just wanted you to be happy. He couldn’t be with you tonight though, he had to process the devastating confirmation that his massive crush was completely one-sided and always would be.

He was trying so hard to focus on the files in front of him but his mind kept wandering off to you. He was the last one in the bullpen which was a rarity.

Spencer felt a swift smack on the back of his head.

“Ow!” Spencer turned around, rubbing the back of his head, to see Penelope standing there with a file in her hand.

“That is for making Y/N cry,” she huffed.

“What?” Spencer asked.

“You cut her off in the middle of her trying to ask you out. Even though I thought you liked her too, you could at least give her the decency to finish her sentence, Reid,” Penelope was storming out of the bullpen.

Spencer was already up and out of his chair, running to catch up with her. How was she so speedy for someone in high heels.

“She was asking me out?” Spencer followed Penelope into her lair.

“What did you think she was doing, genius?”

“I don’t know. We go to the movies together sometimes and those weren’t dates,” Spencer was trying to put the pieces together in his head.

“Well if you let her finish,” Penelope glared at Spencer, “she was going to ask you to dinner after but you had to be rude about it. She had it all planned out. Poor girl was so worked up about it.”

“I wasn’t trying to be rude,” Spencer frantically insisted, “I heard her talking about asking a guy out this morning and I got a little upset. I just didn’t want to spend the whole night listening to her talk about her plans with some other guy soon and trying to act like it doesn’t hurt.”

“She was talking about you,” Penelope rolled her eyes.

“She thinks I’m cute and loves talking to me?” Spencer asked incredulously.

“Yes, she does. And you just made her go home crying. So what are we going to do about that?”

-

You texted Penelope that you were outside the theater. You sat down on a bench, fiddling with your fingers as you waited.

Two converse appeared in your peripheral vision. You looked up to see Spencer, holding a bouquet of flowers, completely out of breath.

“I-I-Oh my god, that was a long run from the metro. Give me one sec,” he bent over his knees to catch his breath.

After his breathing had stabilized, he extended the flowers towards you, “The purple hyacinth is traditionally given to ask for forgiveness but the florist didn’t have those. Daisies usually symbolize innocence but in this case, let’s just say they mean ‘I’m an idiot and incredibly sorry’.”

You didn’t say anything so Spencer continued, “I heard you and Penelope this morning. I know it was wrong to listen in on a private conversation but I couldn’t help myself. You were talking about some guy that you thought you didn’t have a chance with and I thought that couldn’t possibly be me because well, look at you! You’re so beautiful and perfect. You’re way out of my league. Way out of anyone’s league for that matter, you could get anyone you wanted so I’m so sorry I couldn’t process that you were actually asking me out on a date. I couldn’t and still can’t comprehend why you would choose me.”

You patted the bench for him to sit down next to you.

“Why wouldn’t I like you, Spencer? You’re sweet, handsome, generous, and you make me smile,” you spoke softly.

“Y/N, is there any chance you would let me see the movie with you and take you to dinner afterwards?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes but the only thing is I’m in sweats because I was kind of expecting Penelope,” you laughed.

“You would still and always will be the most beautiful girl wherever we go,” he smiled.

[prelovednikaidou]

corrupt; draken, ken ryuguji [01]

Summary:

In which you met the man of your past, but he didn't come back to remind you of the bitter break-up. Draken had one thing in mind and it was to never let you leave his side ever again. Distance made the heart grow fonder but he'd rather let you spend the rest of your life hating him if it meant you'd never leave his sight.

"I don't wish you well when you ain't with me, I want you crying."

Warning:

mention of suicide, oral receiving (reader),

a/n: taglist are open up to 10 users! comment '☁️'

Word count: 2.1k

series masterlist

[01: jealousy]

Draken wanted to take you away.

The curves of your spine, flowing down to the slope of your well-rounded bottom flesh, he watched the symmetrical dimple right above your butt - mocking him that those precious intimate spots were no longer his possession to own.

It wasn't only him who shared the same thought; everyone in this crowded room had their eyes glued on you. As if you were holding those guests captive, you felt immense pressure on your feet and thighs, quivered before you wrapped your leg around the shining pole.

Spinning, spinning, spinning.

Those blinding lights showered your sweating figure in all fairness, the sound of Abel's voice had long dimmed down, it meant that your show was done. It was silent in a minute,

lifting your face - your lips curled into a hunting smile and the room soared with cheers, crumpled money tossed across the stage, but your sense of content was suppressed by the overwhelming tension.

A pair of black pupils were starring at you - pinning you to where you stood. He was among the crowd, all in his glory without care but you. You felt something burst inside your chest, unable to tear your focus from him.

This longing for him is toxic.

Flashes of memories where those sober eyes bore into yours when he pumped his fat cock into your tight cunt until his thick cum over spilled, the same eyes that once shone with so much love but turned cold.

"Dollface!"

A shout from backstage startled you from your daze, another coworker came up and escorted you down, assisting you to take off the painful high heels.

"What's with you?" She threw a curious stare your way.

You still couldn't wrap your mind. He was there. Flesh and soul, presented in front of you. It was a brief eye contact but it was enough. Enough to tell you that he was coming back for you.

It had been years since the two of you chose to split up, making your paths without each other's companion.

"I, I've got to go. I forgot that I locked the windows, my cat's probably waiting for me. He's been out for 3 days so he's starving I think. Y'all can continue without me,"

You stood but your knees turned weak at the sudden arrival of him, standing by the door. A few steps taken back, you lost all rationality to stay calm because your heart thumped loudly.

Standing tall on his 6' ft, athletic and young Draken was nowhere to be seen but replaced - with a mature adult man that induced everything he carried into lust.

The robust body looked incredibly fit, lean, and you could see the strong outlines of his defined chest and abdominal muscles from the black shirt. If it was years ago, those leather jackets wouldn't suit him - he'd look like those up-start wannabe gangsters.

But it was different now. It clung to his broad shoulders perfectly, he wasn't as cheap as those local pranksters. The dark jeans also did little job in hiding his long legs. He was indeed a member of a gang; eerie and cruel - but he had never look this good that you want to fuck.

Draken's presence was enough to brush away every man in the room that you belonged to him. Your little admirers couldn't even look at him in the eyes, let alone make up a fight.

They left with a strong sense of defeat; no wonder you never once accept any confessions, turned out you have such a man waiting.

"Why is he here? This area is off-limits. Only staff is allowed. Naoki, guide him out." You forced yourself to mutter those words, uncaring to look at him with your back facing him.

Naoki sighed, this man literally slipped $750 under the table just to meet you. Those incompetent flies who claimed to love you didn't even spare this much effort. She only signaled him to step in before she whispered to you,

"Remember the guy I told you? The one that booked a whole session for your private room? He's that guy. It's just that he arrived a little early than the arranged meeting but it'll be great if you can build a connection with him."

You glared back, "Then send him back. We still have a week before that, right? I'm tired. I can't keep up with this," You pushed off her hand from your shoulder, began to take off your wig. His eyes were still the same; always undressing you naked.

Naoki could only grit her teeth, the money already landed in her pocket. What if he asked it back? She can't let such a great deal slip so she greeted him,

"She's a bit tired from the recent show. How about we push this to tomorrow? She's got free time on her hand to rest too." At least, this would do, right?

"If I have so much time on my hands, I wouldn't have come a week early. So you guess it yourself." His voice has changed too. It was an octave lower, you immediately rubbed your thighs together before you waved a hand.

"Haaa... leave us, Naoki. But I need you to go to my house. I wasn't joking about what I said earlier."

Naoki hurriedly nodded, clutching to her pocket before her eyes warily darted from Draken to you. Is this a couple feud? She noted in her head that she'd help this guy soon in the future - who doesn't want easy money?

"Okay, I will. Sir...? Err.. hope you have a pleasant chat with Dollface. I will excuse myself then ." The hindrance in Draken's eyes finally left the room, the door closed in a thump and the subtle tension thickened.

He didn't say anything, only leaned his body by the door as he watched you wiped off your makeup. This was his morning view back when you were still wet behind ears about pole dancing. You'd come back at the crack of drawn and he'd already been out to his workshop.

"Dollface."

Stubborn like a little cat, your doe eyes didn't look up from your make-up bag and he could see through your act to be so busy. He loved how feisty you've become after years. It eased his heart that you could chase off those little shit.

"It suits you, [Y/N]. Face so pretty like a doll. Make one's heart itch to keep around. But I wonder why the name sounds so familiar."

"State your business. I'm heading home straight after this so don't expect a lap dance or something."

"Then that's the plan. I'll drive you home, eh?"

That damn 'eh'. He picked up your habit too well that the time he spent with you shaped him into copying your habit. It sounded cute but your heart still couldn't forgive him. Let him suffer a little.

"Don't need to. My boyfriend is great at doing his job. So do me a favor and let me rest quickly, how about that?"

Now, you were looking at him through the mirror. It was just too hard for you to muster yourself to face him directly. Draken didn't seem shaken. He stood straightly, you clenched your thighs tighter.

"Have I ever been quick in everything when I'm with you, [Y/N]?" His towering figure gawked over your smaller frame - casting his shadow over you as his sharp facial features caught your attention.

"Can't remember. Maybe? Because I said it just now almost like a reflex." You replied, not backing down but instead, squaring up to him that your ample breasts brushed against his torso.

His cologne didn't smell like the tacky, cheap body spray he used to own. This one smelled so expensive, alienated your memory of his familiar scent.

"Now you're getting older, your memory is getting rusty, dollface. Should I put on a play and see if you can call anything in mind?" You felt your breath became heavier but he didn't let you lose your focus yet.

Your chin was tugged upwards, the shadow of his cap cast upon his face and you remembered now; it was his eyes. Because he wasn't vocal about his feelings, you could understand everything from his eyes.

"You've grown softer, Draken. I almost threw up listening to you talk like this. What, are you changing jobs now? Don't tell me you went from a gangster to a con artist."

No, you were lying to yourself. Draken didn't change but improved. Change can be something bad but he never did anything that would bring him down. He just got better.

And it was true when the velvety touch on your beating pulse suddenly moved to your lips before he squished your cheeks in his hand.

"Fucking hot as hell but so damn annoying." He laughed, the light from his eyes never return, only replaced by a wicked glint.

He wanted to take you to his place, fuck you in his bed until you couldn't walk properly so he'd have more reasons to keep you at his place. He wanted to swallow you whole and he barely even started but why was it so damn hard to have you?

"Don't dare to think of anything nasty. You might not care about commitment in a relationship, but I do. So take your hands off me, Draken."

"Kenie. It's Kenie for you."

Your lips were so plump and wet, his other arm wrapped around your waist - hoisting you up to his body before he leaned by the dresser.

You shrieked when his scalding hot palm touched your naked back and as he untied the strings of your bra, he smiled at your face as he said,

"Do you think I'm going to believe that, dollface? Do you really think I don't know that this pussy hasn't been fucked well for months? I have eyes across this ward. You don't get to fool me."

Heat rose to your face, your small hands pushed on his shoulders, "You're still up in my business? Sounds like someone can't fucking move on."

He nodded, ripping off your lacey bralette and his big hands began to palm your heavy breast - carelessly rubbing your nipple with his thumb. You fought the urge to moan, you hold onto his shoulder for dear strength.

"You're right. I can't move on." Your breath hitched, he nuzzled his face to the column of your neck, inhaling so deep, and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. He missed you so much. So much that if you ran away again, he'd just kill himself.

"I fucked my fist thinking of you. I got this hard just by thinking of you. I'm not ashamed of it."

"That's your problem, Draken. I'm not you. I'm living my best life right now, and sorry that I can still cum just with my fingers."

"That's my girl," He pushed you until your back met the concrete wall, your eyes widened when he took off his cap and put it on you before he dropped to his knees.

"I am aware of your appetite, [Y/N]. You won't be happy with such a small meal. You always keep coming back to have your tight pussy stuffed. Even when we were living together, you couldn't stop begging my dick every night."

"What the hell are you talking about-" You pushed his forehead away from your private part, one hand covering your pussy but he gripped the side of your hips - bringing you straight to his mouth.

"I don't care if you use me as your favorite Cherry Twins. But don't deny that I made you cummed the hardest when I was in your life, dollface."

Your eyes became misty, his words just flew through your head - empty when his mouth latched on your clothed crotch, lapping on the small fabric that the nudge of his tongue probed on your budding clit.

Cherry Twins were the name he gave to your vibrators. Since he was always out when you were at home, he'd make you use them to your greedy cunt - even made a video call so he could jerk off in the public restroom.

You were wild, but he taught you to live even wilder.

Next page: chapter [02] →

a/n : next chapter is full smut bcs thats the only thing my brain's capable of. Taglist are open up to 10 users! Comment '☁️’.

Taglist: @hanmascult @q-the-rockaholic @hikkarins

[ericspinkhair]

guys my age don’t know how to love me good

pairing: dom!juyeon x noona!reader

synopsis: lee juyeon is the only guy who makes sex worth it

word count: 3.1k

warnings: noona kink, mentions of toxic and abusive sex, deep throating, no mentions of protection (wrap it before you tap it), inexperienced/unsure reader

a/n: this is for @rolezeure + anon

requests are open!!

masterlist + requests

'y/n, I swear to god if you won't come to this party with me I will actually never talk to you ever again. you know what this is?' your best friend siyeon dramatically held up a pair of scissors. 'scissors, to cut our friendship.'

'but what am I supposed to even do there?' you scoffed. parties were stupid 'I don't know how to talk to people.'

'you don't need to talk, dumbass. you get drunk, grind on some hot dude and get laid.' siyeon rolled her eyes as she was so done with you.

'as if that is supposed to convince me to go. sex is completely overraded, my dude. it just hurts and the guys don't even care. as long as they get off on you it's fine.' you had not have had any positive experiences with sex. it usually hurt, the guys were rough and didn't really care if you were crying. there wasn't any pleasure you associated with it.

'that's cause you've been with only toxic men. but please, come with me! it's way too awkward to go alone and I need a hype woman. Sangyeon will be there. I cannot miss the opportunity to get with mr. dilf. have you seen him? he is sooo hot, y/n. I might never have another opportunity like this. and I need a lot of alcohol in my system first before I can initiate something,' she whined. she gave you the best puppy eyes she could to make you give in.

you knew your friend had been eyeing sangyeon for weeks. siyeon had tripped the first time she saw him and had to wipe away the drool from her chin. she then memorized his schedule and you would always have to watch him from afar. however, she could not utter a single comprehensible sentence without alcohol if she was nervous but when she was drunk she was the most sociable and flirty person and always got with whom she wanted.

sangyeon was usually never to be found at parties but this particular one was for his friend's birthday so siyeon knew he would show up. who knows if she would ever see him again, after all, he had just graduated from college and would be leaving campus. this was her last opportunity. you sighed.

'fine,' you finally gave in. she squealed and hugged you so tightly that you had trouble breathing.

'omg, I love you so much, y/n! you're a lifesaver. I owe you big big time.'

'you certainly do.'

you tried to convince yourself that maybe a party was just what you needed. finals were finally over and you were on your well deserved break before you started your last year of college.

a week later, the two of you took a cab to the party location. you arrived at a huge mansion that must have cost a huge ton of money. it felt like thousands of people were there, getting drunk and going skinny dipping in the gigantic pool. you recognized some of the people. you didn't really know them but you often saw them walk around on campus.

when you entered the house some dudes whistled at you. ew. you definitely had to get a drink to be able to stand all these gross men lurking around here. at least you had your pepper spray with you. better safe than sorry.

siyeon and you found the bar and immediately downed a couple of shots. the alcohol burned in your throat as you drank one after the other. your friend needed the effects alcohol brings with it quickly.

'have you found him already?' you scream over the music at siyeon.

'no, he's nowhere to be seen… maybe he's not here at all' she was pouting.

I grabbed her by the arm. 'come on. let's go search for him somewhere else. hmm, maybe he's outside?' you dragged her through the mass of people. she was gonna get laid tonight, you were gonna make sure of it.

the backyard was just as crowded but at least you got some fresh air. a lot of people were grinding on each and making out in the pool and hot tub.

'oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. he's there!' siyeon whisper shouted at you.

'where?' you couldn't find him in the crowd.

'over there next to the huge ass plant. he's standing next to jacob.' ah, you saw him. him and jacob were engaged in a deep conversation and occasionally sipped on their drinks.

siyeon just grabbed a drink out of a passing person's hand, ignore the complains and drank it all in one go.

'I need more.' so you went to get more alcohol before you could convince her that now was the time.

'how do I look? is my makeup smudged? do I look enough like 'daddy, I've been a good girl. pls choke me?' she kept on trying to flatten her hair hastily.

'you look absolutely gorgeous, girl. go get him, tiger.' she did look stunning. the red lipstick matched with her bold red dress. it was short and showed a lot of cleavage. her beautiful curves were perfectly highlighted and if sangyeon didn't drool over her then you would seriously have to buy him new eyes.

you high-fived each other and then she went to go on her mission.

you watched how he scanned her up and down, taking in her beauty, when she approached him and then smiled brightly. she touched his muscular arms as he said something that made her laugh. he seemed to be enjoying her company jacob, who had understood what was going on, had joined his other friends kevin and eric on the dance floor inside.

'who are we spying on?' someone whispered in your ear, making you jump and almost spill your drink. rude.

'oh, seeing if my best friend's gonna get laid tonight like she'd hoped to. seems positive so far.' the guy who had come up to you nodded interested. you had no idea who he was but you didn't exactly mind his company. he was a handsome fellow, with a face sculpted by the gods. his dark blue hair made him stand out even more.

'so what are you gonna do if she leaves with him? are you just going to leave?' he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. 'probably. she's the only reason I came to this god awful party.'

'oh, you don't like it?' he raised his eyebrows.

'no, it's too full, it's too loud and I'm bored. who even is this guy who threw this party. I actually have no idea who he is,' you complained about everything. he seemed to become more amused as you went on.

'then allow me to introduce myself. hey, my name is juyeon.' he held out his hand.

'what does that have to do with- oh my god this is YOUR party!' you realized in shock. your face was burning with embarrassment. but he didn't seem to mind at all and just laughed light heartedly.

'yeah, I'm sorry you don't like it. if you like I could take you somewhere quieter with less people.' oh dude, he was flirting. why? you did look hot as fuck in your short black dress but you had literally just insulted his party.

'I'm sorry I'm not really up for sex or whatever it is you're offering.' you scratched your neck awkwardly. you wouldn't mind if he visited you in your dreams sometimes tho to have a good time.

'that's too bad. I was hoping I could make you feel good.' he brushed a finger over your cheek.

'I doubt you could. no one ever has.' he snorted at that.

'how old even are you?' you asked him.

'19, you don't have to worry. I'm a legal adult. you?' 'almost 21.'

'ooh, that's fun! are you sure you don't want to spend some private time with me, noona?' that was fucking unfair. he was using this noona thing to get you to give in. he knew exactly what he was doing and you could feel yourself getting aroused.

'I just don't think sex is right for me. it just hurts and doesn't do anything to make me feel good,' you explained to him.

'seems like you've only been with douchebags. I have a 100% rate of making women come. you should try and see for yourself, noona.' his lustful gaze stared deep into your soul, making your legs wobbly.

it seemed so tempting. he was super hot and couldn't help but notice the outline of his abs on his shirt. the alcohol was also encouraging you to make some bad decisions and step out of your comfort zone. this man somehow made you super horny with his toned body and god like face, whether you liked it or not. you caught yourself seriously considering going with him.

'here's a proposal. I give you head and if you're not satisfied with my services we can just stop there.' he leaned down and whispered in my ear. 'I would love to hear you scream my name, noona.'

his offer actually didn't sound too bad. juyeon might just be more skilled than the rest of the men you had slept with, who knew. you didn't have anything better to do anyways so you might as well see if he can make you feel good.

'where do we go?' you finally asked after staying silent to keep a suspenseful silence. his eyes lit up and he grabbed your hand. he led you back inside, up the stairs and into the room on the far right.

you could see posters of football player, trophies and pictures. this was obviously his room.

you didn't have much time to look around as he locked the door and kissed you

you were surprised by just how not slimy it was. usually, the guys would always try to wet your whole face and you had to wipe your mouth every other second.

but he started off soft and placed his hands on your hips. you put your arms around his neck to get closer to him and deepen the kiss.

his hands started roaming your body and when he squeezed your ass, you let out a moan. juyeon took this opportunity to slip his tongue inside your open mouth.

the kissing made you dizzy and you desperately tugged at him to get him closer to you. he picked you up and held you up against the wall. you let your hands wander under his shirt and started tracing his abs while grinding your core against him. you could feel his dick harden with your movements.

juyeon carried you to the bed and slowly let you down so you laid on your back. while he quickly took off his shirt you tried to catch your breath after the intense make out. you didn't have long to admire his muscular upper body before he lifted the dress so you were only there in your underwear.

he startes placing open mouth kiss from your collar bones, to your boobs, to your stomach until he reached the hem of your panties. he made sure to keep eye contact as he put the fabric between his teeth and slowly pulled them down like this. you felt cold air hitting your core.

'so pretty, noona,' he admired your clearly dripping pussy. he dragged one finger over your lips to see just how wet you were.

'I haven't even touched you yet but you are already so wet for me. I told you I'd make you feel good. I'll show you just how much, noona.' and with that he dove right in between your lips to prove his point. the feeling of his tongue fucking you was unfamiliar. no guy had ever even cared to get you wet and pleasure you before actually having sex.

Juyeon was desperately devouring your juices as if he hadn't drunk for ages. additionally he started massaging your clit with his thumb, knowing exactly what a woman likes. he had to hold down your hips to keep you stable because you were trying to buck up into his face as it felt so good. every time his nose came into contact with your clit while licking you felt like you were losing control.

involuntary moans were spilling out of your mouth and you could feel juyeon smirking against your core.

suddenly, he slipped a finger inside you and started slowly pumping it in and out of you. it felt a bit uncomfortable at first but you got used to it quite quickly and when he noticed, he slipped a second finger inside. damn, those were some long ass fingers.

your pussy made squelching sounds which you couldn't care less about in the moment as he rapidly fucked you with his long digits. you were pulling at his hair as he took your bud between his teeth, alternating between softly biting and sucking on it.

you suddenly couldn't take it anymore and your orgasm washed over your body like a wave and juyeon slowly continued until you had fully come down from your high.

he sat up straight again. 'I promised I could make you feel good, didn't I? god, you look so hot when you come, noona.' fuck, where did he learn to do all this? maybe he was right after all.

you noticed that his nose was coated in your juices but he didn't seem to care at all. 'do you want to continue?'

'only if you can make me come again,' you challenged him.

he scoffed. 'that's not even a question, noona.'

he quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants. the shape of his bulge was clearly visible through his underwear. you reached inside and whipped out his already hard dick. you gulped.

'it's so big,' you whispered afraid. he was bigger than the other guys you had slept with and if they had already hurt you then his cock would probably hurt even worse.

he stroked your hair out of your face. 'don't worry. I've already prepared well so you should be able to take it without a problem. I'll make sure to go slow to not hurt you, okay?' you needed to trust him. it seemed like he actually knew what he was doing.

you gave his dick a couple of strokes to see how he reacted before you wrapped your lips around his leaking tip. seeing juyeon throw his head back gave you the encouragement you desperately needed to go forward.

you took him all the way until you started gagging. this was something you were good at. you started deep throating him and he moaned out your name.

'fuck, noona. you are so good with my cock.' he brushed your hair to the side so you it wouldn't be in the way when you sucked him off.

you noticed that he tried to control himself but couldn't refrain himself from bucking up his hips a few times, making you gag.

he then stopped you. 'I can't come yet. I need to show you how proper sex is done first.'

you laid down on your back and he positioned himself between your legs. he pressed your arms down next to your head and intertwined his fingers with yours.

'are you ready?' you gave him a nod.

'just squeeze my hand if it hurts.'

he slowly pushed his tip inside. you shut your eyes tightly and juyeon stopped to give you time.

'no, no. go all the way in first,' you whined.

his dick filled your walls up to the brim. you tried to calm down your heavy breathing. you squeezed his hands in pain and he held still. juyeon placed a kiss on your mouth.

'you're doing so well, noona.', he praised you. 'just tell me when you feel ready to go.'

it did hurt but not quite as much as the other times. and no one had ever waited for you to actually adjust before beginning to pound into you.

juyeon distracted you with kisses and as you started getting more comfortable you slowly started moving your hips against him. you gave him a slight nod to tell him he could continue.

he still started off with a moderate tempo and you needed more.

'faster!' you urged him and he picked up the pace. the way he snapped his hips made you see stars.

the pain was now completely gone and you were lost in your own pleasure.

when he started  thrusting into you from behind, he hit spots inside you you had never felt before. the new position allowed him to go even deeper and faster than before.

you moaned surprised as he spanked you.

'you like this, noona?' you could only groan out his name to show him how you felt.

the knot in your stomach became tighter and tighter.

'I think I'm coming!' you manage to get out.

'come for me, noona!' with that he went into overdrive and fucked into you like a machine.

your arms gave in as your walls clenched around his huge cock tightly and you came hard while screaming his name.

he rode out your orgasm and then pulled out. he stroke his dick fast and shot his big load on your butt and back.

he lay down next to you exhausted. his fingers wiped away the tears of pleasure you didn't know you had cried.

'did I make you feel good, noona?' 'more than just good,' you admitted satisfied.

'I guess guys my age just don't know how to treat me.' he hummed in agreement.

'that makes no sense. you are absolutely gorgeous. they missed out on the opportunity to see your beautiful face when you come.' this was weird. he was still nice to you even after he already came. what was this?

'thank you for making my birthday wish come true,' he said. 'huh, what do you mean?' you questioned him.

'actually, I've noticed you on campus before but I was always too shy to talk to you.' 'oh really?' you laughed sceptically.

'yeah, I wanted to ask you on a date first but it seems like we skipped a couple of steps.' he was blushing. gosh, he was kind of adorable.

'I mean we could still go on those dates if you'd like, birthday boy.' strangely enough you felt like you could trust him and kind of wanted to get to know juyeon as a person.

'awesome,' he smiled at you before he pecked your lips and went to clean you both up.

you had completely forgotten about siyeon. hopefully, her night had been just as satisfying as yours had been.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Flatmates - Harry Styles

i listened to kiwi while writing it so i strongly advise to listen to is while reading as well. without any further ado, i present you this flatmate!harry fic with some steamy smut!

word count: ~9k

warning: smut

masterlist

You were desperate to find a place to live, to say the least. You’ve always had trouble remembering deadlines and important dates, and thanks to this charming trait of yours, you successfully missed the deadline of the college dormitory applications. After a day of solid panic you started looking for cheap apartments, but living off campus seemed to be something only rich people could afford. Rents were ridiculously high and you were certain you couldn’t afford to spend thousands of dollars for a room smaller than your pantry back at home. You watched ad after ad, making calls all day for a week straight, but at the end, you always went to bed with the thought that you’ll have to live under a bridge through the first semester of your freshman year.

It was until a friend of yours, Rita, who was mature enough to apply to the dormitory in time called you with the best news you could receive.

“This friend of my future roomie is looking for a flat mate. You gave me his number, maybe you could give him a call and see if the room is still available. Just tell him Kimberly gave you his number, I’m sure he’ll offer you the room on a nicer price.”

“Oh my God, you just saved my life!” you gasped, almost feeling like crying. “I owe you big time, Rita!”

You called right away, not wanting to waste any time and maybe have the room already rented by then. A deep, male voice answered the call in a soothing British accent.

“Harry Styles,” he said in a calm tone.

“Hey! My name is Y/N and I got your number from Kimberly. I’m looking for a place to live from September and I was told you have a room to rent?”

Harry sounded a little hesitant at first, asked a few questions about you to have a better picture of you, but eventually offered the room. You quickly agreed that you’d be able to move in at the end of August. You were thankful you had one less worry about school finally.

August rolled around the corner faster than you expected and in no time, half your life was packed up into boxes and suitcases as you and your dad drove two hours on a Saturday to get you all settled in your new home. Up until this point, you hadn’t seen Harry just yet. Though you did search up his name, but he was the kind to never post about himself, but mostly about guitars, landscapes and animals. His Instagram was dry, no trait of what he looked like or even the slightest hint about himself. There was only one photo that featured the outline of a guy, which makes it clear that the person was fully naked, no trace of any clothes hanging on his body, but it was completely dark, so nothing could be really seen. However the tag on the figure made you think it wasn’t him, so it didn’t matter. His Facebook seemed even sadder, barely any posts, not even a decent profile picture. You were surprised to see there are people who don’t really use social media, but you didn’t take it as a bad sign. Harry must be a private person and you had nothing against that.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to move in with a guy you’ve never met before?” your dad asks as the two of you are unloading the car in front of the apartment complex. Glancing up you shrug your shoulders with a little excitement, knowing that you are only minutes away from finally seeing the person you are gonna spend your next months living with.

“He sounded like a decent person, and I really don’t have any other choice, dad. Or do you want me to sleep in a park or something?”

“God, no. You really should be more careful about those deadlines next time,” he sighs kissing the top of your head before shutting the back of the car once everything is set on the ground.

“Don’t worry, I already bought a calendar so I can keep better track of everything.”

When you first told your parents that you’d be living with Harry, they didn’t seem to be a fan of the idea, but they realized you weren’t really swimming in options at the moment so they eventually come to peace that their daughter is going to be living with a guy. They didn’t make a big deal out of it, knowing well you were an adult now practically who can make choices for herself.

The two of you manage to bring everything up to the third floor and you ring the doorbell since you don’t have your keys yet. You immediately recognize Harry’s British accent as he calls out a “coming!” from the other side of the door and a few seconds later it opens, revealing him.

Your first thought is that he is tall. Very tall and oh my! How handsome! His green eyes find your gaze and his dimples come out as he smiles at you happily. This man is surely a nice sight, you think to yourself, but you quickly bring yourself back to reality as he takes a look at all the stuff surrounding you.

“Y/N, why didn’t you call me that you were here? I could have helped you!” Taking a step outside he stretches his hand out for your dad. “Nice to meet ya, you must be Mr. Y/L/N. I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you,” your dad nods at him shaking his head before Harry grabs a box from the floor himself, holding the door open for you.

“Come on in!”

The three of you quickly bring everything inside from the hallway and you finally have a moment to look around. It’s not a big apartment, but seemingly perfect for two people. Walking in you have a small kitchen on the left and a little dining area on the right with a simple table and four chairs around it. Further inside is the living room, it’s nicely furnished very bright thanks to the large windows across the front door. On the left there’s a door that leads to the bathroom and on the right there’s a small hallway, two doors on each side. The two rooms are exactly the same size, so there was no need to have a discussion about who is getting which room. Not that you were gonna go against Harry when he literally saved your life with letting you stay with him.

The place seems tidy and neat, it’s clear that Harry takes good care of his home and that is for sure a relief.

Your room has a double bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser and a built in little closet. Everything is white or a light beige color, nothing extreme and you already have plans about how you want to decorate it to make it cozier.

“I left two shelves free for you out of the three. I have a few hair products, but I figured you’d need more space,” Harry tells you when you put a smaller box into the bathroom that has all your toiletries.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” you smile at him.

Your dad sticks around a little longer helping you unpack some of the bigger boxes, then you walk him down to his car before he leaves.

“Please call your mother often. You know how much she worries about you,” he asks as he pulls you into a quick hug.

“Will do.”

“And call us anytime you need help. Two hours is not that far away, I can always come and get you.”

“I’ll be alright, dad, but thank you.”

You watch him climb into the car and he rolls down the windows waving in your way as he leaves from the parking lot. You stand there until he disappears on the corner and then go back up to your apartment.

Harry is sitting in the living room when you get back, some quiet music playing from the Bluetooth speaker as he reads a book. He glances up at you and you flash him a smile closing the door behind you.

“Your dad seemed quite okay with you living with a guy.”

“He had time to get used to it. They’re not that strict though.”

“That’s cool. I was thinking, maybe we could order some food when you’re done unpacking and just get to know each other a little more.”

“That sounds great!” you smile, but can’t ignore how fast your heart is beating in your chest. Harry surely has an effect on you that you’ll need to gain control over if you don’t want to make living together hard for yourself.

It takes quite some time to unpack everything and find the right place for your stuff, you don’t even finish by the time the food arrives so you decide to leave the rest for tomorrow.

The Chinese food is all set on the table when you walk out and Harry is getting two plates for the two of you.

“Settled in?” he asks as you take one of the chairs and he sits across you.

“Not fully, but I’m getting there,” you chuckle as he hands you your order. “Thank you.”

You talk over the food, just getting to know each other and you finally get a better picture of Harry. It’s his third year of college, he is studying music and pedagogy, intending to one day use music as a helping tool for kids who have learning difficulties. He is a big fan of collecting vinyls and quite passionate about trashy rom coms.

“Really?” you chuckle when he mentions how his Netflix queue is filled with romantic movies.

“Guilty pleasure,” he nods smirking.

You tell a little about yourself too and he seems genuinely interested, which feels nice. You would have hated if he found your interests boring and negligible, but that’s not the case.

“How come you couldn’t find a roommate for so long?” you ask the question that’s been in the back of your mind for quite a while now. Both of you are done eating and you’re cleaning up the table.

Nothing really stood out about Harry just yet, it’s quite a mystery for you why he couldn’t find someone to live with him.

“Well, you could say I’m a little picky in this field. Lived with my best mate first year, and though I absolutely love him, he was horrible to live with. Felt like his personal maid the whole time. When Niall moved in with his girlfriend and I had to move on my own I promised myself I would choose carefully. Lived with a PhD student last year, he was pretty great, but he moved out when he graduated, and I couldn’t really find someone I liked since then.”

“Glad I passed then,” you chuckle as you take the dishes and start washing them while Harry stands next to you, leaning against the edge of the counter.

“You seemed like a decent person to live with, I hope I won’t be wrong about that,” he chuckles, but you can tell he is still a little scared you might turn out to be a total asshole.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be too much trouble. I’m quiet like a mouse and clean up after myself.”

“That’s all that matters,” he smiles. “Alright, I have some things to finish, I’ll be in my room if you need help with anything.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He waves in your way before disappearing in his bedroom.

You spend most of your Sunday unpacking what was left and running errands, buying groceries so you don’t have to go to the store every other day during the week. You occasionally meet Harry in the kitchen or the living room, but you both just do your own thing and it’s totally fine by you.

School starts quiet smoothly, Harry was kind enough to give you a rundown of where you’ll find your lecture halls so you don’t really get lost around campus, easily finding your way.

Friday afternoon you and Rita are sitting at a café near campus to discuss the first week of school. You don’t have any classes together, so only grabbed lunch two times all week, but didn’t have more than twenty minutes together before one of you had to run to a class. Now you are both comfortably sat in a booth with two cappuccinos and plenty of time to talk.

“So, how is living with Harry?” she curiously asks.

“He is great! Though we don’t meet that much. He has a band so he has practice three times a week, spends the rest of his time at home reading or watching TV.”

You ate dinner together twice this week, but you haven’t really had the courage to join him in the living room when he was watching TV. It sounds stupid but you figured maybe it would bother him if you were out there with him. And since he didn’t invite you either, you just stayed in your room mostly.

“Kimberly told me he is hot, is that true?” she asks with a smirk as she takes a sip from her hot drink. You immediately feel your cheeks heating up.

“Well, he surely is a good looking guy,” you breathe out.

“Lucky you! There’s not much of those in an all girls dorm,” she pouts and you chuckle. “So are you gonna make a move on him?”

“That’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head laughing.

“Why not?”

“Because we live together and if he rejects me that would be so awkward for the rest of our time living together.”

“But you can’t know for sure if he would reject,” she points out, but she can’t bring up one thing that would change your mind.

“It’s better not to take the odds. I don’t want to end up on the street.”

 As the days go by, things start to get busier in your everydays. Assignments and papers start to pile up so you have to start working on them if you don’t want to leave everything to the last moment. You become a regular in the library, the atmosphere is great for you to get into the flow and get a lot of work done.

It seems like Harry is in the same shoe, he is often in and out of the apartment, sometimes only spends home just a couple of minutes before he leaves again. However they slowly get accustomed to each other, learn the ways the other likes things and work up a schedule for things. Harry learns that Y/N likes to take a shower twice a day and washes her hair usually on Wednesdays and Sundays, so he doesn’t try to take too much time in the bathroom on those days. He also notices how she doesn’t have time to wash the dishes after herself on Thursdays when she just runs home to have a quick bite before she has to leave for another lecture, so they came to a silent agreement where Harry cleans up after her on Thursdays while she takes up on the dishes on Saturday when Harry leaves to band practice at eight.

They work well together and soon enough all of Harry’s doubts about Y/N fade into nothing and he realizes he has made the right choice with her.

Usually she stays at the library until seven on Mondays, but this week they are closing early because they are rearranging a whole department, so Y/N leaves a little after five. She pays a quick trip to the grocery store before she heads home. Opening up the door she immediately hears the music playing, one of Harry’s vinyls is twirling around in the record player and she hears the water running in the bathroom. Setting her bags on the counter she starts unpacking the groceries.

The music and the running water pushed the sound of her arriving down, Harry didn't realize that you were home early when he opens the bathroom door, singing to himself wearing absolutely nothing as he wants to go and grab a pair of clean underwear, but he is shocked to see you standing in the kitchen.

“Shit!” he snaps, hands immediately flying to cover himself as he sprints back to the bathroom quickly grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist.

Your cheeks are heating up immediately even though you didn’t see anything you weren’t supposed to, the counter top covered him just right above the critical line, but it’s the first time you’ve seen his upper body completely naked.

Even though it was just a spit second, the sight of his many tattoos and the defined V-line leading down to his crotch burned straight into your mind, leaving you flustered and shy all of a sudden.

“Sorry! I should have let you know I was coming home early!” you call out turning around, as if he was about to walk out naked again. Harry chuckles lightly as he returns, this time a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Don’t be silly, you don’t have to check in when you come home. It was my fault, I shouldn’t just walk around naked assuming you wouldn’t be home.”

You should, you think to yourself gulping as you turn around and dare to look at him again. You don’t see less than just a few seconds ago, his chest is glistening from the dampness, his curls are still wet and you are having a hard time not to stare at the tattoos on his lower stomach, so you busy yourself with the rest of your groceries as he walks into his room and returns in a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt.

“Any plans for the weekend?” he asks disappearing in the bathroom, but he leaves the door open and you hear him shuffle around, probably fixing up his hair. He uses some kind of mousse that keeps his curls perfectly and also happens to smell like mango and some kind of citrus.

“Um, not really.”

“We’re playing at this bar with the band, wanna come and watch us?” Walking out of the bathroom he switches the light off before walking to the couch and opening up his Netflix account on the TV. His invitation surprises you, but it also feels nice he wants you there.

“Oh, sounds fun! Can I bring someone?”

“Of course! I can have a table reserved for you, if you’d like,” he smiles at you before turning his attention to the screen.

“That would be great, thanks.”

You feel like after your little encounter it’s probably not the best day to join him at the TV, especially because you can’t stop yourself from blushing every time you look at him. The sight of his naked torso pops up in your mind every time and there’s no way you can just casually sit on the couch with him without your body lighting up on fire.

 Rita is excited when you tell her about the invitation, you don’t even have to convince her to go with you since she is dying to finally meet Harry. When he leaves in the early afternoon on Saturday he assures you that there’s gonna be a table reserved under your name, and off he goes to practice, leaving you alone for the rest of the day since he tells you he won’t be back before the concert tonight. Rita comes over around six and the two of you get ready together.

“You have to wear something spicy,” she wiggles her eyebrows at you while you sit at your desk applying mascara to your lashes.

“I don’t want to overdress, it’s just a bar.”

“Yeah, but Harry invited you. I bet he wants you to see him play.”

“Of course he wants, why else would he invite me?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“You don’t get it,” she chuckles turning to you, hands on her hips. “He wants you to see him play because it feeds his ego. Maybe even turns him on.”

“Stop acting like there is anything between us. We are flatmates and that’s all.”

“I think he wants to be more, you’re just too pussy to make a move yourself,” she shrugs turning back to your closet.

“Stop calling me a pussy for not wanting to make it awkward for the two of us to live together. I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t see me as anything more than just the person he lives with.”

“Then we have to change that. And I think this is the perfect dress for that.”

Rita pulls out a little black dress you bought about a year ago, but never really got around to wear it. It’s so tight, pushes your tits up way too much for your liking, you’re not even sure why you bought it in the first place.

“I’m not wearing that,” you shake your head.

“Are you afraid he might get a boner from you in it?”

“Rita!” you snap at her, but she just chuckles.

“Look, if you’re so sure he doesn’t want you like that, why does it matter what you wear?”

She has a point. It’s not like this dress will change anything and it would be nice to wear at least once in your life this stupid dress if you bought it.

Grabbing it from her hands you throw it to the bed and start undressing as she claps in victory.

You remembered right, the dress leaves close to nothing to the imagination when it comes to your figure. The fabric hugs your figure tightly, and you put on a lacy bralette that peeks out at the top of the dress, kind of covering some more from your skin, since the dress doesn’t do much in that field itself. Rita tries to convince you not to take a jacket, but you throw your denim jacket on, feeling the need to have something give you the slightest sense of being covered.

You arrive at the bar twenty minutes before the concert starts and it’s a good thing Harry reserved a table for you, because the place is packed. You’re not sure if it’s because of them or it’s just a regular Saturday evening.

The little stage is all set up, but you see no sign of Harry anywhere as the two of you settle at your table with a drink. Luckily, the bartender did not ask for an ID, he was too busy looking at your chest. At least there’s one good thing in this dress.

The drum set at the back has the name of the band on it and you smile reading it. The word ‘Stylish’ is printed on it with bold blue letters, referring to Harry’s last name, who is most likely the front man of the band.

The place is buzzing and the two of you enjoy being out at a bar concert. When the lights go down you finally spot him walking out of the back followed by a guy and two girls.

“Welcome, folks,” he greets the audience, his accent filling up the place over the chatters. A round of cheering answers him, making him smile. “Thank you for coming out tonight, we hope to entertain you in the next hour. Our name is Stylish and now let’s get down to business,” he smirks and just as he takes a step back from the mic, the band starts playing. Harry grabs a guitar himself before stepping back to the mic and then he starts singing.

They play a mixture of covers and original songs, the transition between them is so smooth you sometimes forget it’s a whole different song that’s playing. Harry is clearly enjoying the spotlight, his presence on the stage is so natural and capturing, you often catch yourself forgetting about the rest of the band.

One song follows the other and you don’t even realize how fast this hour passes by. Harry sometimes stops in-between songs, entertaining the audience with small jokes and just casually interacting with them.

“Our last song is up next, so let me take a moment to introduce the band,” Harry speaks into the mic while softly playing the guitar so it’s not completely quiet as he talks. “At the drums, the amazing and talented Sarah Jones!”

A round of applause fills the bar as Sara waves around smiling widely, before Harry moves on to the next member.

“Playing the piano, the wonderful Charlotte Clark!”

Charlotte plays a short melody on the keys matching up with what Harry has been playing, before she also waves at the audience.

“The guy who is a way better guitarist than me, Mitch Rowland.”

Harry’s comment makes the audience laugh and Mitch just nods shyly, a smile pulling on his lips under his mustache.

“And this handsome Brit who sometimes acts like a comedian,” Sarah starts leaning closer to her mic. “Harry Styles.”

It’s no surprise that Harry gets the biggest cheering and he smirks sweetly, his fingers still strumming on the guitar. The clapping and screaming slowly dies down and as Harry steps back to his mic they start the last song.

It’s quite an upbeat, funky song, you just can’t resist dancing around on your chair and seemingly Rita is enjoying herself as well, cheering with her beer in her hand. The song comes to an end and they all line up at the front of the stage bowing down together as the whole bar cheers on them as one person.

“Woah, this was… something else,” Rita breathes out once they disappear at the back and chatter fills up the place once again and the lights come back.

“They smashed it!” you nod in agreement. You figured they are good if they get asked to perform, but this was way beyond what you were expecting.

Looking around you are hoping to see Harry somewhere, but they must be celebrating somewhere at the back. Maybe he won’t even come out, you think to yourself as you finish up your beer.

“I’ll get us another round,” you tell Rita as you make your way to the bar.

There are quite a few people waiting to be served, so you squeeze yourself into the crowd and hope to get to the front soon.

“So how did you like it?”

You jump in surprise when you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, and turning around you see how close he is standing to you.

“Hi! I didn’t even see you sneak up on me,” you chuckle making him smile as he squeezes himself next to you. The two of you finally reach the front, but the bartender is serving someone a little on the left so you have to wait. “I loved it, you were like a proper rockstar up there!”

“Thanks,” he chuckles and his dimples show up on his cheeks. The bartender finally gets to you and Harry is quick to order for the both of you. “’S probably better if I place the order since you’re not twenty one just yet.”

“Didn’t have any problem ordering the first time,” you smirk smugly and Harry raises his eyebrows at you before his eyes wander down your body for a second.

“I bet you didn’t in this dress.”

Suddenly, you’re very aware of how daring your outfit looks, so out of reflex, you pull your jacket tighter on yourself, Harry’s smile quickly fades as he realizes that he made you uncomfortable with his comment.

“I meant that you look really pretty. Definitely makes you appear a little older though.”

“My friend wanted me to wear it, I would have been fine with something else,” you admit as the bartender places your order in front of you and Harry pays for the whole thing.

“Glad she convinced you,” he grins down at you and you can feel your cheeks heating up once again.

He helps you carry the drinks to the table and Rita quickly puts her phone away when she sees who you are returning with.

“Harry, this is my friend, Rita. Rita, this is Harry,” you introduce them and Harry shakes her head smiling.

“Nice to meet you,” he nods kindly.

“Oh, same goes for you,” Rita smirks and you roll your eyes at her.

“I’ll go get the rest of the band, do you mind if we join you guys here? There are no empty tables.”

“Sure,” you nod smiling before the crowd swallows Harry.

“For fuck’s sake, you have to make a move on him, Y/N!” Rita turns to you as soon as he is gone.

“Would you stop?” you chuckle.

“No! This dude is so hot I forget my name when I look at him! And you live with him! You can’t miss this chance, Y/N.”

“I’m not missing anything. We live together, it’s not worth it.”

“Not missing anything?” Rita looks at you as if you were mental. “You are literally missing everything!”

“I’m done with this conversation,” you tell him just when Harry appears again, this time with two of his bandmates, Sarah and Mitch are following him smiling, hand in hand.

“Charlotte had to leave early, but this is Sarah and Mitch,” Harry introduces them as they join the two of you at the table. “And this is my flatmate, Y/N and her friend Rita.”

You all shake hands as Harry sorts out the extra beers he has ordered so everyone has a drink on their hand.

It’s no surprise, but Sarah and Mitch prove themselves to be just as cool as they seemed up on the stage. And the best thing is that they don’t shy away from sharing funny stories that include Harry.

“So have you been looking for a new place to stay, Y/N?” Mitch jokes. “I’m sure you’ve had enough of Harry by now.”

“Very funny,” Harry laughs at his bandmate’s comment.

“To be honest it’s pretty fine so far. He is a pleasant person to share your home with,” you say with a soft chuckle.

“What’s one thing you hate about living with him?” Sarah asks and Harry pretends to be hurt over the question.

“Who said there’s anything she hates?”

“Shush, I was asking her!” she hushes at him making you laugh.

“I really can’t point out anything in particular. Maybe he has been very careful, luring me into believing that he is the perfect flatmate so I get stuck with him.”

You stay for a while, just chatting and having a good time until the bar starts to empty out and you decide it’s better if you head home as well.

“We have to take care of the equipment, are you leaving or do you want to wait for me?” Harry asks you.

“We’ll just call an Uber, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.

“Alright, see you at home.”

You say goodbye to Sarah and Mitch and part your ways with them as you and Rite head outside.

“I hope you noticed how Harry was looking at you,” Rita smirks at you when the two of you are sitting at the back of the Uber.

“What are you talking about?” you sigh leaning your head against the seat.

“I caught him staring at you quite a few times.”

“He was just probably looking at me when I was talking. Don’t try to talk something into it that’s not true.”

“Alright, I’ll stop,” she replies holding up her hands. “But I still think you are missing out on some amazing dick.”

You awkwardly glance at the driver who is hearing everything you say, but Rita seemingly doesn’t mind that you’re not alone.

“You know what? We should give Tinder a try.”

“What? Why?”

“If you don’t want to make a move on your hot flatmate, we need to get some satisfaction from others.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh, you are not,” she chuckles. “But you will be when you match with the hottest guys on campus.”

You let Rita believe that she convinced you to sign up for Tinder, but you get out of the car with the intention of never downloading the app, like ever.

Walking into the apartment you grab a clean, oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties since your sleeping shorts are all dirty, but you were planning to do the laundry tomorrow. You decide it’s not a big deal and the shirt will probably cover enough of your body.

You take a quick shower to get off the thick smell of the bar that’s stuck on your skin, taking your time moisturizing yourself once you’re done. When you get dressed you see that the shirt does cover your bum, but if you lifted your arms up it surely shows a big portion of your ass, so you’ll have to be careful if Harry arrives.

You’re lounging on the couch watching a rerun of House M.D. and scrolling through your phone when Harry arrives.

“Hey there, rockstar!” you greet him teasingly and he just chuckles shyly.

“Is it gonna be my new nickname?”

“Well, you really were one tonight, so I think yes,” you nod making him laugh. Walking further inside his eyes stop on your bare legs and he is quick to notice that you’re not wearing any pants, like you usually do. You immediately tug on the end of the shirt to cover more of your skin, but it’s not really working.

“Ehm, I’ll go and take a quick shower,” he informs you before disappearing in his room first and then rushing into the bathroom.

Looking down at your attire you decide it’ll be better if you threw on some sweats. Harry clearly got a little uncomfortable seeing you so bare, so it’s better to cover up. You’ll just take them off when you go to bed.

Harry doesn’t take too long in there, and when he joins you on the couch you are pretty sure he took a cold shower since no steam followed him when he left the bathroom. His eyes flicker to your now covered legs, but he doesn’t say anything, just makes himself comfortable next to you.

“You like it?” he asks nodding at the TV.

“Yeah, he is such an asshole, but it’s funny,” you huff. “Hey, I took a few pictures tonight. Wanna see if you like any of them?”

“Sure,” he nods pushing himself up a little as you unlock your phone and show him the photos you took of him and the band while performing.

Some of them ended up really cool, you were able to catch the lights and their movements just the right way, especially one stands out where he was holding out a note, basically screaming into the mic, he really looks like a rockstar on that one.

“Can you send me this one?”

“Done,” you smile at him and glancing over you see that he opens the Instagram app on his phone. You watch him crop and adjust it a little bit, then tag his bandmates and finally, he posts it.

“Wow, this is the first picture on your page with you actually on it,” you tease him.

“So you’ve been stalking my profile?” he smirks at you.

“I wanted to check you out before I moved in, but your social media was no help in that.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of posting that much, but this was a cool picture.”

“It’s an honor to know that I took the first one featuring you.”

“Actually, this is the second one, but it is the first one where my face is visible,” Harry tells you before turning his attention back to the TV, but the gears start to turn wildly in your mind, trying to remember which picture could be the other one.

Later, when you’re lying in your bed with your door closed, you pull up his profile and stat scrolling down. Most of the pictures fall out, because they have absolutely no trace of any human being on them. But then you stop at the one that features a black silhouette of a man, the one you thought wasn’t him.

Opening up you tap on the tag and see that it leads to Mitch’s profile, but now that you’ve met him, you’re pretty sure it’s not him in the picture. So you take a closer look and as you go over the small details, like the line of his neck, how wide his shoulders are and the untamed curls, you soon realize that it is indeed Harry in the photo.

You push down a moan when realization sets in, because that means that you’re staring at the naked silhouette of Harry and it immediately starts a fire between your legs.

“Jesus,” you whisper as you let yourself stare at the photo a little longer. You weren’t expecting it, but it’s surely making you feel some kind of way.

Locking your phone you throw it to your nightstand before you bury your head into your pillow. You have to press your thighs together quite tightly to make the throbbing sensation stop so you can finally fall asleep. Well, it takes some time before that happens and it’s quite torturous.

  Unlike how you planned, Rita finally gets you to download Tinder and give it a try. She helps you set up your profile, and though at first it feels incredibly awkward, you slowly adjust to being out there on the virtual market.

You start swiping left and right whenever you are bored during classes or you’re having a break from studying. Your matches start to pile up and soon enough you start getting messages as well. You reply to the ones you like or find funny and creative, giving them a chance, but not many end up going too far. Somehow the conversations always die down and you lose interest in the person.

Only one guy gets as far as asking you out and getting a yes as an answer. Jordan is a physics major and seemed like a nice and funny guy through the messages, good-looking too, so you decided to give it a go.

So Friday evening you dolled yourself up, put on a nice blouse with your favorite skinny jeans and black heels, ready to head out to your first ever Tinder date.

As you walk out of your room you find Harry in the kitchen in his basketball shorts and a simple black t-shirt making himself a cup of tea. The shorts are hanging low on his waist and as he reaches up to get the hones from the cupboard you get a glimpse of the soft skin on his lower waist. You quickly look away before you could have any further thoughts about what else is under the waistband of his shorts.

“Oh, where are you heading all dressed up?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“I actually have a date,” you admit nervously as you grab your keys and put it away in your purse.

“Lucky guy,” he smiles and you can feel your cheeks heating up again. There’s just something in the way he compliments you, it makes your knees go jelly.

“Thanks. I’ll see you later? I’m not sure when I’ll be back,” you tell him grabbing your jacket from the hanger next to the front door.

“Have fun,” he nods before you walk out.

 Jordan proves himself to be quite frankly the same guy you got to know through messages. He takes you to this Mexican themed bar and you are just chatting over some exciting looking cocktails, but you find yourself zoning out sometimes.

What is Harry doing right now? Is he staying at home? I should have asked if he had any plans. Maybe he is hooking up with someone right now.

You find yourself thinking about way more than you probably should and it’s making you lose your shit. So maybe this is why, or because Rita told you to just go with the flow, but when Jordan asks if you want to go up to his place you say yes.

It’s as awkward and bad as you were expecting, unfortunately. There’s a reason why you don’t hook up with every random guy you go out with once. You are totally on different pages, but when you are lying under him on his bed, you just know there’s no way out.

It’s not that he forces you, because you’re sure he would have stopped if you asked, but it would be so awkward to just walk out because you weren’t feeling the vibe. So at least one of you should enjoy it.

You should deserve an Oscar for that orgasm you fake, it’s so believable. Jordan doesn’t seem to notice that you felt absolutely nothing, just frustration and impatience, he tries to make you stay the night, but you save yourself with a lie that you have to wake up early in the morning so it’s best if you head home.

Your frustration just grows on your way home. You were really hoping to get laid tonight, so maybe that could stop you from fantasizing about Harry, because your thoughts have been wild since you found out that he is the one on that Instagram picture. It doesn’t help that he has been walking around shirtless quite a lot.

Shameful or not, you even touched yourself once thinking about him. You were home alone after a particularly boring day so you thought you’d just get yourself off. Before you could realize where your thoughts have wandered, you were moaning his name as you came hard. You couldn’t look into his eyes that day when he came home, he probably thought you were nuts, basically running away from him.

It’s almost midnight when you get back home, you were expecting Harry to be asleep by now since he has band practice in the morning, but you are surprised to see light coming from his room. As you close the front door, kicking your heels off he walks out, of course, without a shirt, his glorious body on full display.

“Hey, how was your date?” he asks as you step to the fridge to get yourself something to drink. You’ve been so damn thirsty since Jordan was… done with you, you could have asked for some water at least, but you just wanted to leave as fast as possible.

“Ugh, don’t even ask,” you whine, leaning against the counter.

“That bad?”

“Worse,” you roll your eyes and Harry chuckles softly.

“Come on, it couldn’t be that bad if you came home so late.”

“Well, it did start off nice, but I shouldn’t have said yes when he asked if I wanted to go to his place.”

“Oh.”

“Worst sex of my life, I wanted out the moment we arrived, to be honest,” you honestly say, feeling a little weird that you’re talking to Harry about it, but you just want to get it off your chest.

“Then why didn’t you just leave?”

“Dunno, I just… I was hoping for just a little satisfaction, but I guess I asked for too much,” you sigh finishing up your water and you walk past him with the intention to grab your pajamas and have a shower that would wash away the happenings of the night, but Harry’s voice stops you.

“Not everything is lost just yet.” Turning around you give him a puzzled look.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He bites into his bottom lip and lets his eyes travel down your body, his intent gaze sends a shiver down your spine. When his eyes return to your gaze your heart is wildly beating against your chest.

“I mean that… I can make you feel good, if you want.”

Your mouth hangs open and your eyebrows shoot up at the blunt offer he just made. At first you’re not even sure you heard him right, but as you replay his words you realize that you indeed heard him crystal clear.

“Are you messing with me right now?” you ask, feeling like it’s all just a joke. He did not just offer to satisfy you because you complained to him about how bad your date was.

Harry takes a few steps closer to you, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

“Not really. You want to get off and I would love to be the one to help you with it.”

“But… we live together,” you say and realize how stupid this just sounded, but you hope he gets what you were trying to say.

“So? Does that mean we can’t fuck?”

The way he said that makes your legs go weak for sure. You’ve been fantasizing about things similar to this, but those were nowhere near to actually hear him propose the idea of fucking.

“But… it’ll be weird, won’t it?”

“Only if we make it.”

He walks closer, closing the distance between the two of you and he cups your cheek in his hand as his eyes flicker down to your lips.

“Harry…” you breathe out, but you already know you gave in. There’s no way you can say him no, not after weeks of dreaming about the exact same thing.

“Just stop thinking,” he tells you before pressing his lips against yours.

He kisses you hard and you gladly let his tongue push into your mouth within a second, kissing him back with the same passion. You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands travel down on your sides until they reach your ass and they give it a bold squeeze, making you moan into his lips. You feel him grin as his hands move over to your thighs and he urges you to jump and so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Though you keep your eyes closed, kissing him hard, you can tell he brings you to the couch, laying you down to your back, holding himself up above you. He starts kissing down your jawline and neck, sucking and biting on the sensitive skin. His hands grab the hem of your shirt and you lift yourself up a bit so he can pull it off, throwing it away to somewhere behind the couch. While his lips are sucking on your breasts wherever they are bulging out from the lacy bra, his hands work fast on your jeans, undoing the button and the zipper, tugging them down until you can just kick them right off.

“Matching set? You were really counting on having a good time tonight,” he mumbles against your tummy as he kisses his way down on your body.

His right hand reaches up and cups your breast before it slides under you and easily unclasps your bra. You quickly slide the straps off and throw it to the side, so now you are lying under him only in your panties, whimpering and panting at every kiss he leaves on your body.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he hums glancing up at you, sitting between your legs as he slides just one finger over your soaking wet panties, running it along your throbbing center.

“Fuck, I want you,” you breathe out.

“How exactly do you want me?”

“Jesus, just eat me out, Harry!” you shamelessly moan and he smugly smirks before he hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down, throwing it to the ground.

Now you’re lying completely naked in front of him, and he pushes your knees farther apart, looking down at you with lustful eyes.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he growls as he gets closer and without a warning, he licks into you.

You moan in sensation as he starts sucking on your clit, his tongue working perfectly against your bud. Your hands find their way into his hair and you grab a handful of it in each. Oh, how many times you’ve thought about doing this!

“Harry!” you cry out when you feel him push a finger into you, slowly pumping it in and out a few times before he adds another to it. He quickly picks up his pace as he keeps sucking on your clit, getting you closer to your orgasm with every lick.

“Fuck, I’m so close!” you moan, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggle to even breathe.

“Cum for me, baby,” he mumbles against your wet clit and just a few more pumps later you came, screaming his name.

“Fucking hell, Harry!” you breathe out when he climbs up on you smirking.

“You think you can handle another one?” he asks, pecking your lips softly. Looking down you see how hard he is and even if you were on the verge of dying you would have said yes. There’s no way you let him get up from this couch unsatisfied after the orgasm he just gave you.

Instead of saying anything, you push on him until he is sitting on the couch and you have your knees on his sides.

“I think you are a little overdressed, aren’t you?” you ask teasingly as you bring a hand down to his erection, cupping it through his shorts and underwear.

Harry cranes his neck so his lips could meet yours again as he lifts his hips up, pushing his shorts down along with his boxers. You sit back down to his lap and his erection presses against your wet folds making you moan into his mouth.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” you ask breathlessly, but Harry shakes his head.

“I would last, I just want to fuck you,” he growls and you swear to God that was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.

“Condom, we need a condom,” you tell him, still kissing his lips.

You get off him and he quickly runs into his room, shortly returning with a condom between his teeth. He rips the package on his way and falls back to the couch, rolling it on carefully. When he is done you swing your leg over him and get on top again, holding onto his broad shoulders. He grabs the base of his cock and lines himself up to your center and you give yourself a moment to admire his naked beauty right in front of you.

You look into his sparkling eyes and leaning down you kiss him hard as you slowly ease down to his length, his cock slowly filling you up fully.

“Oh fuck!” he moans at the feeling of you around him. His fingers dig deep into your waist as you stay still for a few moments, adjusting to his length. “You alright?” he asks breathlessly. Your eyes meet his and you nod a little before you start moving.

It takes a few moments to find the right pace and get yourself comfortable, but when you finally do, you just can’t stop. His hands are on your ass as he guides your hips a little and you feel the rings on his fingers against your heated skin. He buries his face into your neck nibbling and kissing on the soft skin wherever he reaches.

“Fuck, you look so fucking hot, Y/N,” he grunts when you let your head fall back, feeling your orgasm slowly building up again.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum again,” you pant, picking up a faster pace, desperate for release.

“Cum for me, baby. Let me make you feel good!” he moans wrapping his arms around you as he holds you still, stopping you from moving, but instead he starts thrusting into you, his cock buries so deep into your pussy, your eyes roll back into your head from the feeling.

“Yes! Don’t fucking stop!” you scream as he keeps fucking you hard.

It doesn’t take too long until you fall completely apart and cum again, your legs basically turning into jelly. Just a few thrusts later Harry cums as well, thrusting deep into you a few more times as he moans into your neck.

You lie completely numb on him, his fingers gently stroking your naked back as you try to come back to reality. When you lean back and your eyes meet again you are still speechless.

“I’ve literally wanted it since the day you walked into this place,” he admits with a soft chuckle.

“Really?” you giggle shyly.

“Oh, really. Seeing you around, sometimes without a bra under your shirt completely killed me most of the time.”

Your cheeks are heating up, you didn’t think he noticed when you weren’t wearing a bra.

“Don’t be so shy, you have amazing tits, you are not allowed to wear a bra anymore around here,” he teases you grinning as you laugh and leaning down you kiss him shortly.

“I had quite a few fantasies about you too,” you admit making him raise his eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Mhm, especially after you walked out of the bathroom naked, even though I didn’t even see your dick then.”

Harry chuckles lightly as he pushes his hair back from his forehead, resting his head against the back of the couch.

“So…” you shyly start, ”what now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that… we live together and we just fucked. What does this mean for the future?”

“Well, I thought that next time we could do it the right way. I could take you out on a proper date, and then fuck you on the kitchen counter.”

You laugh at how blunt he is, but you love the idea he just proposed.

“Okay. Sounds fine by me.”

[homoose]

Love Has a Learning Curve: Part VII (x reader)

Summary: Reader tries to make things right, with a little push from her mama.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: hurt/comfort

Warnings/Includes: none

a/n: I know, I know— please just let our babies be happy ♥️ and so it was. Also, big ups to my tumblr gf @idmakeitbehave​ for being my beta the past two chapters.

Series Masterlist

———

One week.

That’s how long it had been since their argument. Spencer had driven back to his apartment in silence, absolutely stunned by the way things had blown up.

They’d gotten back from the case in Utah on the fifth of January, and he’d driven straight to Y/N’s, ready to give her a belated New Year’s kiss. Immediately upon entering her apartment, he knew something was wrong. Her hug was stiff, her kiss brief, her eye contact minimal. He’d spent the night, but they barely touched, and she left early for work without waking him. He’d let himself out and texted her later in the day to invite her over for dinner.

Dinner hadn’t been any less awkward, and when he felt awkward, he knew it was bad. He finally couldn’t ignore it any longer, and he’d called it out. He had expected some resistance, but he hadn’t expected that. Y/N never spoke to him with any malice at all, even when he was actually doing something that irritated her. She was the queen of healthy communication. So for her to speak to him like that meant that the underlying issue was much, much worse than he’d originally thought.

He’d gone over their conversations a thousand times, looking desperately for the moment that it went wrong. After some deep consideration, he was certain that something had happened on New Year’s Eve. He just wasn’t sure what. Y/N was insistent that she wasn’t bothered by the declined call, but he still wished he could go back in time and answer it. He was pretty sure the seeds of their argument had sprouted in that moment, regardless of what she said.

Spencer knew she was a creature of habit, and that sometimes she needed space to process and experience her emotions. And if he was being honest, he needed some space after the argument, too. But usually she would have at least texted him by now.

He sighed and set down his newspaper, realizing he’d read the same page four times and hadn’t retained any of it. It was Friday, and he knew she was working. But still his fingers itched to dial her number. He picked up the phone, pressing a key to light up the screen yet again.

No new messages.

He dropped the phone back to the table with a little more force than was necessary. He decided he’d give her the rest of the weekend. If he didn’t hear from her by Sunday, he’d have to do something.

…

Y/N dropped her bag on the floor inside the door and turned to lock the deadbolt. She had managed to sneak out of the building without being stopped by Anita, and she thanked the universe for small miracles.

She didn’t want to have to explain herself. She didn’t want anyone to know what an absolute troll she’d been. Considering that Sam and Spencer had practically become attached at the hip since they’d started hanging out more, Anita was bound to ask about him.

She showered and ordered Thai food, snuggling down on the couch to watch a movie with Roald. She settled on Dumplin’— a favorite for the body positivity, the southern drawls, and the Dolly Parton drag.

And then she came to the argument outside of Harpy’s and lost what little emotional stability she had left.

“Never took you for the type that cares much what people think.”

“I can’t, Bo. And that might make me a coward, but—”

“It does. Willowdean Dixon, I think you’re beautiful. To hell with anyone who’s ever made you feel less than that.”

She didn’t realize she was crying until Roald meowed in distress. She choked out a sob and stroked over his ears, closing her eyes in defeat. “I really fucked this up, huh?”

It had only been one week, but it felt like years since Spencer walked out of her apartment. She’d stayed in bed for the entire weekend, crying on and off. She knew she had no one to blame but herself. Owen had knocked over the first domino, but she’d done nothing to stop the rest from falling.

Spencer had done everything right. He’d done everything she asked, and she’d thrown it all back in his face. He had made the comparison to Mitchell Park, and he was absolutely right. She’d done the exact same thing, only she had almost a year’s worth of ammunition, and she cut a hell of a lot deeper.

Roald nuzzled against her, but she nudged him away— she didn’t even deserve the comfort. Instead, she fumbled in the couch cushions for her phone, swiping open the screen and tapping her favorites list, thumb hovering over Spencer’s name. Then she tapped on the name right above it and blew out a breath.

The line connected and rang three times before she picked up. “Hey, sugar! Your ears must be ringin’, ‘cause I was just thinkin’ about callin’ you.”

“Hey, mama,” Y/N breathed.

Her mother’s tone changed from chipper to concerned in an instant. “What’s wrong, baby?”

She leaned forward to the coffee table to grab Spencer’s scarf— somehow left behind in her apartment— rubbing it between her fingers. “I— I really messed up.”

“Oh, Lord. You need bail money?”

Despite herself, Y/N laughed wetly. “Oh my god , mama. No, I don’t need bail money.”

“Well, if you made bail it can’t be that bad,” Rose insisted.

“I didn’t— I’m not in jail, for Christ’s sake.” Y/N ran a hand over her face. “I messed things up with Spencer.”

“Well, we can fix that,” Rose responded matter of factly. “What happened?”

“We were fighting, and I said some really, really awful things,” Y/N admitted, tears spilling over her lash line.

Rose scoffed. “Honey, I say awful things to your father all the time, and we’ve been married almost 40 years.”

Y/N heaved a long sigh. “Not like this, mama.”

Her mother hummed in consideration. “Well, what were y’all fightin’ about?”

“It’s complicated,” Y/N hedged, toying with the fringe of the scarf.

Rose clicked her tongue. “Do ya want my help or not?”

Y/N dropped her head back against the couch. “I ran into Owen on New Year’s Eve—”

“Well, I hope you told him to stick it where the sun don’t shine,” Rose practically growled.

Y/N closed her eyes as the tears tracked hot down her cheeks. “I didn’t. I— I let him get under my skin, and then I didn’t want to tell Spencer about it because it’s embarrassing, but he knew something was wrong, and he wouldn’t stop asking about it.” She had to pause and suck in a hiccuping breath, releasing it on a sob. “So I yelled at him and said all kinds of terrible things, and then he left, and now I think maybe we broke up, and I’ve literally never been so sad in my whole life.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, and then she heard Rose sniffling. “Really shoulda had your brothers knock the mess out of that son of bitch when we had the chance. He's been gone five years, and he’s still hurtin’ you every chance he gets.”

Y/N swiped uselessly at the tear tracks on her cheeks, sniffling pathetically. “And now I hurt the person who’s spent the last year singlehandedly undoing all of his awful handiwork.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Rose cooed. Y/N could hear the creak of the floorboards as her mother walked through her childhood home. “You said he knew somethin’ was wrong, right? I can almost guarantee that he’s still just wonderin’ what’s goin’ on. I know he’s supposed to be a genius, but he’s still a man. And men are dumb, sugar. You gotta spell it out for ‘em. Have you talked to him since?”

“No.” Fresh tears spilled over Y/N’s lashes as the thoughts that had kept her from calling him spilled out of her mouth. “What if it was too far? What if I ruined everything? What if he never wants to speak to me again?”

Ross heaved out a long breath. “That’s a lot of what ifs, Y/N.”

“What if I’m right?” she whispered.

“And what if you’re not?” Rose countered. “That boy loves you. Anyone could see that, clear as day. He’d do just about anything for you.” Rose paused, and Y/N heard the springs of the bed squeak as she sat. “But you gotta let him, sweetheart. Right now you’re takin’ away his chance to do that. You’re makin’ the decision for him.”

Y/N listened as her mother’s advice crackled over the line, and for the first time in a week, she felt a tiny sliver of hope.

“If he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, you need to let him tell you that. Don’t settle for a what if. Find out for sure, or you're gonna spend the rest of your life worryin’ and wonderin’, sugar.”

…

That evening found Spencer in his usual spot on the couch, reclined against the arm with a book in hand. He’d promised himself he’d give Y/N the weekend to herself— that he’d let her come to him. That didn’t stop him from checking his phone obsessively; it never buzzed with any new calls or messages, but he still looked every seven minutes.

The sound of the buzzer jolted his body to attention. He checked his watch and drew his brows together before closing his book and scrambling to cross to the intercom, a tiny seed of hope beginning to germinate. He pressed the button to talk, calling, “Yes?” into the speaker box and then listening for the response.

“Hi.”

Her voice was so quiet that he could barely hear it over the crackle of the speaker. He buzzed her in without hesitation, crossing to the door and opening it immediately. She made her way slowly up the stairs, turning at the top of the landing and pausing.

His heart broke at the sight of her. She looked utterly exhausted, dressed in black sweatpants and a soft purple sweater, a black puffer jacket over top. She was holding his scarf, wringing it in between her hands. Her eyes were ringed red, and the bags under them were worse than his.

He watched as she crossed the landing, coming to stand quietly in front of him. He’d known something was wrong, but the way she looked now made him wonder just how long she’d been battling whatever private demons she wouldn’t let him in on.

“I, um.” She cleared her throat, and it was clear she’d been crying from the thickness of her voice. “I have a lot to say— again. But since I was such an asshole, I wanted to give you the opportunity to say anything you need to say first.”

He’d imagined this conversation countless times over the last week, and never once had he thought it would start like this. “Um. Well. You— you really hurt me.”

She could barely look at him. “I know.”

He swallowed. “Please don’t do that again.”

She shook her head, finally meeting his eyes. “I won’t. I won’t ever again.”

Spencer tucked his hands into the pockets of his lounge pants. “I know I may not be the best at social cues, but I’m a pretty good profiler. And I can tell when something’s wrong.” He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t have to tell me everything. I’m just asking you to tell me when I do something that makes you upset.”

“You— you didn’t do anything wrong. I—” He watched her squeeze her eyes shut. “God, I’m so sorry, Spencer. I’m just— I’m sorry for so many things. For lying about being fine, for being up on my high horse about communicating and then not actually doing it, for being an absolute bitch.”

He wanted to argue— she wasn’t a bitch— but he could tell she was far from done.

“I— I thought therapy was supposed to teach me how to talk about things, but this still feels… impossible to say out loud,” she admitted, fingers fumbling with the fabric of the scarf. “It’s embarrassing and ridiculous. But I— I have deep-seated insecurities. That I’m not really that smart or interesting or particularly special.”

He thought back to that night in Mitchell Park and felt the guilt all over again. He’d practically said those exact words to her— it was no wonder she was feeling this way.

“And every person that I’ve ever been with has— really reinforced those ideas, so for a long time they were just… a set part of my self-image,” she explained, dragging a hand over her messy hair. “I thought— I thought that I was over it, but I— I don’t know. Maybe you never really are.”

His brain sorted through every moment of their year together, pinging off the countless examples of her self-doubt and insecurity. She was easily the most wonderful person he knew, but he could clearly see the cracks in the facade if he looked close enough. How had he missed it for so long?

“And then I met you, and you…” Y/N let out a wry laugh. “You’re easily the most interesting person I’ve ever met, but you made me feel like… I don’t know, like I’m interesting, too. Like I’m worthy of being with you, like I’m— like I’m good enough.”

He felt his heart splintering into a thousand tiny shards— good enough?

“But I can’t— I still have a hard time believing it sometimes. And I— I’ve been letting myself keep you at arms length. Letting you see parts of me, but… never giving you everything,” she admitted.

He watched her struggle to get the words out, her voice thick with the act of holding back sobs. He hadn’t realized she was carrying all of this. She was so good at supporting him and loving him through all of his trauma and issues, he hadn’t stopped to consider just how much she needed him, too.

She continued, “It’s why I took so long to say I love you… why I couldn’t talk to you last week. Because I just—” She shrugged as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For you to realize that I’m really nothing special. That you’re getting bored, or there’s someone who’s a better fit for you, or one million other things. That I’m needy, and annoying, and too much work.”

A fresh tear tracked down her cheek, and he felt his own eyes filling. She never failed to put a stop to his own insecurities— reminding him that she liked his rambling, that he wasn’t irritating, that he was just the right amount. In his eyes, she was perfect. He would have never guessed she felt this way about herself.

She continued, “That’s what happened before, and none of those guys were even half as wonderful as you are.” She swiped a hand haphazardly over her cheeks, looking at him sheepishly. “And then I was hurtful and awful, and I realized that I was just creating a self fulfilling prophecy and I don’t— I don’t want to do that.”

Her hand shook a little as she brought it back down to twist in his scarf. “Because it’s never— I’ve never felt like this. I've never been this happy with anyone else, and I don’t want to give that up. I don’t want to give you up. Even if sometimes I feel like I’ll never be enough.”

Her voice cracked on a stifled cry, and his chest physically ached. “And if you never want to see me again, I completely understand, and I’ll leave you alone, but I— I’m just so sorry. And I love you so much, and I’m trying so hard to be better.” She sucked in a ragged breath and let it out on an exhausted sigh. “And that’s, um— that’s it. If you want me to go, I—”

“I don’t want you to go,” he interrupted.

Her eyes went wide. “You don’t?”

“Of course not.” Spencer stepped forward and reached for her. “Of course not. C’mere.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, she was tumbling into his arms with a choked off sob. He pulled her inside and closed the door behind them, walking her to the couch and sitting them both down. She clung to him like she was afraid he’d disappear into thin air.

“Y/N, I’m right here,” he assured her. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But if you n-need space, I understand,” she sobbed.

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need space. I think a week was long enough, don’t you?” he asked, pressing a kiss into her hair.

She pulled back out of the hug, head down. “But I really hurt you.”

He held her hand. “Yeah. And I really hurt you, too.”

She huffed out a breath. “That’s not how this works. I don’t get to hurt you just because you hurt me.”

“I know that.” He almost laughed at how indignant she sounded. “I’m not saying that we should hurt each other. I’m saying that sometimes it happens. And when it does, we apologize, and we forgive, and we move forward. And it’s okay if you need space. But I don’t.”

“What if you change your mind?” she whispered.

“Then I promise I’ll tell you.” Spencer tilted her chin up so he could meet her eyes. “I promise I’ll tell you what I need, as long as you tell me, too. We’ve gotta use all those communication skills we learn in therapy.”

Y/N nodded, and he pulled her into another hug. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. “If I hadn’t heard from you by Sunday, I was planning to bother you until you talked to me.”

He could feel the beginning of a smile turning up the corner of her mouth where it was pressed to his shoulder. “You never bother me,” she mumbled. She held him for a moment longer and then released him from the hug and sat back, fidgeting with her hands and letting out a breath.

“Sometimes I need to be told that my worst fears about myself aren’t true,” she admitted. “I know that’s so annoying, but—”

“It’s not annoying,” he interrupted, putting an immediate stop to that line of thought. “Telling you how amazing you are isn’t the chore that you think it is. I’m sorry that anyone ever convinced you that it was.”

He covered her hands with his own, rubbing his thumbs softly along her skin. He couldn’t stop thinking about her dealing with all of this by herself. He hated that she’d ever felt anything less than adored. More than anything, he hated that he hadn’t been able to help her through it. And he wanted to make sure that he never made that mistake again.

“A wise man told me once... that love is helping someone navigate their storms,” he murmured, squeezing her hand. She looked at him then, and he continued, “You’ve been my lighthouse for a long time, Y/N. And I— I’m trying desperately to be yours… But you have to let me.”

Her eyes filled with fresh tears, but she nodded. He let out a long breath and pulled her hands into his lap. “I understand that sometimes you need space, and that’s fine. I’m happy to give you whatever you need.”

He shook his head. “Just— please don’t try to weather the storm by yourself. You can’t do it all alone; no one can.” He smiled ruefully. “I can tell you from experience that’s pretty much a guaranteed way to capsize your boat.”

His voice cracked a little at the end, and he felt a tear slip over his lash line. “I’ll help you repair your boat, or build a new one, or you can just float on mine for a while. It’s not perfect but it’s pretty sturdy, I think.”

She brought her fingers up to brush at his damp cheeks, and he met her eyes. “What I’m not going to do is let you float out on the ocean by yourself. I love you too much.”

She was quiet for a long moment, sniffling a little and just watching him— almost like she couldn’t believe he was there. She brought her hand back to his and laced their fingers together, rubbing her thumb along his skin. “I love you the most.”

“Agree to disagree.” He gave her a small smile and leaned forward to press his lips to her forehead. “Want some tea?”

She was frowning when he pulled back, her brows drawn together. “I need to tell you about Owen.”

The conversation he’d had with Anita was suddenly on replay in Spencer’s head.

… a real piece of shit… telling her lies about herself… isolating her… destroying her from the inside out...

He squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. You don’t have to tell me at all if you don’t want to.”

She shook her head. “Talking about him takes away his power. I have to stop letting him have so much sway over my emotions.” She looked at him then. “I do things I regret and hurt people I love.”

He brought their joined hands up his lips. “Well, I’m here either way. And I’m still going to make you some tea.”

He stood and pulled her up with him, bringing her into the kitchen and refusing to let go of her hand. He filled the kettle and turned it on, found a bag of her favorite tea and ripped it open with his teeth. He dropped the bag into her favorite mug, and then made a mug up for himself.

“You know, it’d be a lot easier if you’d let go,” she said, the hint of a smile in her voice.

“Mhm,” he agreed, but he made no move to release her hand. In fact, once he’d fumbled a spoonful of honey into each of the cups, he dropped the spoon into her mug and turned to pull her into another hug. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and closed his eyes as she brought her arms around his waist. “I missed you,” he whispered.

She squeezed him tight. “I missed you, too. I’m so sorry.”

She buried her face in his neck, and he felt her breathe him in. He pressed a kiss into her shoulder and then settled his chin again. “Apology accepted, in case it wasn’t clear.”

They stood like that until the kettle began to whistle, and then Spencer kept her tucked underneath his arm as he turned to shut it off and pour the water into the mugs. They each grabbed a mug, making their way back to the couch and setting them on the coffee table to steep. Spencer kept their fingers intertwined and stayed quiet, letting her set the pace of the conversation.

Y/N took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh. “I guess I should start at the beginning. I, um— I had my first boyfriend in high-school: Cal Cunningham. He was older and cooler, and so I felt— I don’t know… special when he picked me.” She rolled her eyes. “In reality, he was rude, and arrogant, and kind of a misogynist. We didn’t date for very long, but it kind of… set me up on this path of dating guys who weren’t very nice.”

Spencer ran his thumb soothingly along hers, waiting for her to continue. “When I started college, I dated this guy Adam for a few months. He was nice enough but really self-centered and a little immature. When we broke up I just wanted to be on my own for a while.”

“I was single for two years after that, just kind of… finding myself and whatever.” Her eyes tracked the path his thumb traced along her skin. “So when I started dating Owen at the end of junior year, it felt like my first real relationship. Like— we were both adults, and he dressed up for our dates, and he paid for things and bought me flowers and fit all the cliches.”

“And it was great at first,” she admitted. “We had a lot of the same friends, so we’d been hanging out for a while before we got together. He was a perfect gentleman— and smart, accomplished, and ambitious. I fell fast, and I fell hard, and we were sort of— it feels so stupid to say this, but it felt like we were an it couple.”

“A few of us made plans to move to DC after graduation— my friend Jess and her boyfriend Chris, Sam and Anita,” she explained. “And Owen and I, obviously. We moved in together in an apartment downtown. And that’s when everything changed.”

She drew her brows together. “It was little things at first. Like he’d jokingly call me stupid for forgetting something, or he’d complain about one of my friends being annoying. But it snowballed pretty quickly. He’d tell me I was stupid, and he wasn’t joking. All of my friends irritated him to the point where we couldn’t hang out anymore— even our former mutual friends. He thought that teaching kindergarten was a mindless, pointless job.”

Spencer tried to keep his heart rate steady, his facial expressions neutral, but his blood pressure was on the rise. No one deserved to be spoken to like that, least of all Y/N.

She continued, “We spent the holidays at my parents’ the second year we were dating, and he spent the entire car ride home explaining, in detail, how ridiculous and low-class he thought everything was.”

She shook her head and rubbed her free hand over her face. “I know it’s insane that I stayed with him for five years, but I— he did a really good job of convincing me that I was... that I was nothing. That he was doing me a favor by loving me. That he could have anyone, but he chose me. No one else was going to, so I should be grateful.”

He balled his free hand into a fist to avoid squeezing her to death. When Anita had said Owen was a piece of shit… he hadn’t realized just how deeply she meant it.

She picked at the fabric of her sweatpants, staring intently at the tiny pills. “When someone says all of that to you on a daily basis, and you’re not hearing otherwise from anyone else— because no one knew what was going on— when someone tells you you’re nothing… you start to believe it.”

Spencer relaxed his fist to bring his fingers up to her face, gently cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes for a long moment. He didn’t know what to say. Instead, he pressed his lips to her forehead in a voiceless assurance that she was, in fact, everything. He felt her relax under the warm pressure of his lips, and he hoped that was enough for now.

He sat back to let her continue. “We were together for five years, and we only broke up because he cheated on me. It was a long term affair; they were sleeping together for almost a year before I found out. And… a lot of people knew. Almost all of his friends knew. But I didn’t. I was still being this ridiculous, desperate little Suzy Homemaker trying to make him happy, even though he was still treating me like shit.”

She laughed, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in it. “When I found out, I wasn’t even hurt. I was… embarrassed, I guess. But I was so relieved. I was so fucking relieved that I had a way out.”

He watched as her shoulders settled, almost like an actual weight had been lifted off of them. “I got a therapist and dropped all of the friends that were still hanging around with him. I moved to a new neighborhood, started hanging out with Anita and Sam, and just— started fresh. And I was doing really well. I’ve had my moments of insecurity here and there, but for the most part, I’ve been able to recognize the moments when I’m falling back into old thought patterns.”

She looked at him then, and her eyes were so soft and lovely that his heart ached. “You’re a big reason for that. You’re so open with how you feel about me, and… it makes things a lot easier.” She dropped her gaze with a sigh. “But I— he was at the party on New Year's. And I didn’t know he was going to be there until I was already there , and then it felt stupid to leave. I thought I could handle it—”

“And then I didn’t answer your call.”

“No, no .” She shook her head and reached her free hand out to grasp his arm. “That’s— Spencer, none of this is your fault.” She furrowed her brow, and the crease between them was practically an abyss. “He sort of— cornered me on the patio. I hadn’t seen him in like, four years? And he was complimenting me, and asking about you, and then he tried to— well, he did kiss me actually. I shoved him off, and he didn’t like that, and he did his whole Owen thing. Told me that he’d cheated because I was uninteresting and worthless. That eventually you’d get bored of me, too. Just, um— generally awful shit.”

She took a deep breath, and the rest steamrolled off her tongue and over his heart. “And then he just— left . And he’d absolutely demolished my self-image in less than ten minutes, and I was embarrassed and angry at myself, and then you didn’t answer, but I was kind of glad you didn’t because I didn’t actually want to talk about it. And I thought I could just move on, but then I was being weird, and you knew something was wrong. And I just wanted to pretend like it never happened, but then you kept pressing me on it, and I just— I didn’t want to have to explain it all to you because I was afraid that— that maybe he was right.”

Y/N dissolved back into the couch, an unwelcome indication of the emotional exhaustion that came with reliving trauma. Spencer moved closer and mirrored the position of her body against the cushions, bringing his face close enough to bump their noses together. They breathed the same air for one noiseless minute before she finally met his eyes.

“I need you to understand that not one single thing he said to you— on New Year’s or ever— was right, in either sense of the word. None of it was factual, and none of it was acceptable.”

She gave him a weary nod, and he continued, “You are the single best person that I know. You’re kind, brilliant, and driven. You’re interesting, and wonderful, and lovely. You’re my absolute favorite person on the planet, and I will never get bored of you.”

He let his eyes trace over all the angles and curves of her face, and then raised his eyebrows. “He’s lucky that I respect you enough not to go over your head, because what I’d like to do is run a full background check and find any and every possible transgression that could be legally investigated and then use that information to ruin his life.” He tilted his head in thought. “That or— get really jacked and then beat the shit out of him.”

“God, please don’t. As much as I’d love to watch that unfold,” she cupped his face in her hand, “you’re better than that. And he’s not worth either of our energies… I already wasted enough time dwelling on it and hurt you in the process.” She dropped her hand back to her lap with a sigh. “I spent so much time in that relationship that my brain didn’t know what to do with this good, healthy one.”

He took both of her hands in his, squeezing them tight and then pressing a kiss to the back of each. He wouldn’t commit assault, since she’d asked him not to. But he wasn’t going to let Owen taint any part of his life with her.

“I’m so sorry that someone you loved made you think it was hard to love you. Because loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed his lips together and mused, “But I think maybe love has a learning curve. Especially when you’re used to being hurt. You have to unlearn all the bullshit. People will have you thinking that you have to water yourself down, or change who you are, or make yourself more palatable. I thought that, too.”

He brushed her hair back away from her face and waited for her to meet his eyes. “And then I met you. And you love all of it— all of me. All the rambling, all the quirks, and— even the dark parts, too.”

She sniffled a little, but really smiled for the first time that night. “What’s not to love about you?”

He smiled back. “I’m not sure if you realize that I fully reciprocate that feeling. What’s not to love about you? I have a hard time thinking of even one thing about you that I don’t absolutely adore.”

“Even when I act like a horrid bitch?” she mumbled, only half joking.

He leaned his head against the couch cushion. “A year ago, you stood on my doorstep and gave me forgiveness— after I’d been a complete asshole to you... I told you then that I wanted to learn how to love with you. I still do. In all the wonderful, and the weird, and the terrible. Even when we get it wrong.”

He shrugged, and then ran a soft fingertip down the bridge of her nose. “There is no one else I’d rather get it wrong with. Because when we get it right… it’s the closest I’ve ever felt to magic.”

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and she brought both hands up to his face, holding him with an adoration that made his own eyes burn. “You can believe that you love me the most,” she whispered, “but just know that you’re wrong.”

He leaned forward to close the distance between them, pressing a kiss to her lips with a reverence that felt technicolor and devout and more magical than any trick he’d ever mastered.

“Agree to disagree.”

———

Permanent tags: @spacedikut @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection @coffeeandendlesswords @justanothetfangirl @no-honey-no @ajeff855 @sapphic-prentiss @rexorangecouny @rainsong01  @blameitonthenight21 @moviequeen51 @90spumkin @reniescarlett @ncsls0515 @sturmmhond @takeyourleap-of-faith @saspencereid @calm-and-doctor @reidtheprettyboy @atabigail @ayo-cowbelly @muffin-cup @ssa-natalya-reid @wheelsup @reidingmelodies @this-is-gublerween  @spenxerslut  @reidemandweep @sonnydoesrandomshit @rigatonireid @luwheezey @joalsglasses @je-suis-prest-rachel @enbyfaerie @spencie-adams @honestimanormalfan @blurryreid  @elldell1204 @babyhoneystvles @lost-in-the-stars03 @reiding-recs @minervaonmars @radtwinkie @crimeshowtrash @dayho3  

Permanent (sfw) tags: @mrs-dr-reid @eevee0722 @goldentournesol @froggybagels

Series tags:  @uhuhuh @itsametaphorbriansblog @magenta145 @annesauriol @watermelonfanfic-recs​ @ampal98 @mggsprettygirl @ceeellewrites @thatsmyfavoritewhiteboy​  @misshale21 @ilzieah @gublersbooblers @outcrbxrafe @andromedasstarship @reidspurplescarfs @hanniebee33 @nazdaniels @irisisonline @nazifa94  @laurnrnlds @outer-spacious @stupidcrazylittlething @princesssmooshie @luvspence @maddievevo @slaytherinthoughts​

Broken tags:  @archer561 (check visibility settings!)

[storiesforallfandoms]

worst first ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1649

request?: yes!

“MGK and his girlfriend reader are doing worst first podcast with brittany furlan(lee) and there all cute. Sorry if this one is weird. Love your writings <3″

description: in which they go on a friend’s podcast to talk about their worst first experiences

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

Sharing my most embarrassing and personal stories on a podcast for the world to hear was definitely not how I expected to be spending my Monday afternoon. But there I was, sat in front of a microphone next to my boyfriend, Colson, across from our friend, Brittany.

Brittany had invited us on to her podcast, Worst First, where the point was basically to talk about your worst moments in life. I was a pretty private person, so I was a bit skeptical about going on the podcast, but I had trouble saying no to Colson’s blue, puppy dog eyes.

“Have you guys ever talked about your worst first relationship stories?” she asked us.

“I don’t think I’ve told Colson all of mine,” I admitted.

“I don’t think I have either,” Colson agreed. “I feel like we definitely have a lot of stories that we just haven’t gotten around to sharing yet.”

“What’s some you have shared?” Brittany asked. “Like...okay, starting off easy, what is your worst first ‘I love you’ story?”

“A girl I was hooking up with said it to me during sex once,” Colson responded almost immediately.

Brittany and I laughed at his quick response. “What, like a one night stand?”

“No, it had been a few times,” Colson explained. “It was this girl, for lack of better words she was a groupie. She followed me to basically every American show I performed and would track me down at the after parties. It was long before I even met (Y/N), so I decided ‘fuck it’ and slept with her a few times. The last time, we were...you know...doing the deed, and she suddenly tells me she loves me.”

Even though I had heard this story before, I couldn’t help but snicker as I heard him tell us again. “That will never not be funny to me.”

“What happened to the poor girl?” Brittany asked.

“Well, me - having some brain cells - went to her hotel room instead of bringing her to mine. So I just got up and left. Never saw her again. I’m pretty sure we have each other blocked on social media and everything.”

“None of my stories will ever measure up to Colson's,” I said. “I’m just an actress, I’m not a world famous rockstar with groupies and shit.”

“What’s your worst first ‘I love you’ then?” Brittany asked me.

“My ex before Colson, I planned this special date where I cooked us dinner, dressed up all fancy, bought lingerie to surprise him with and all. I told him I loved him for the first time over dinner and he broke up with me basically immediately afterwards, then left.”

“That’s cold!”

“It’s not as good as having a groupie tell you she loves you during sex.”

“You have plenty of interesting stories,” Colson said. “Your worst first date story is my favorite.”

Of course it was, because it was probably my most embarrassing story ever. I was going to kill him for bringing it up right now.

“What’s your worst first date story?” Brittany asked, leaning forward in her seat with her head resting on her hand.

I sighed, slightly annoyed that the story was brought up. “It was one of my first real dates. I was like...maybe 16 or 17, on the cusp of my fame so I wasn’t being followed by paparazzi or anything, luckily. This guy I had met about a month before the date had asked me out to this fancy restaurant on a first date, and I was so excited. I went and bought a new dress, did my hair and makeup, even shaved basically every inch of my body. I was so excited, and then the date came and...he was just...boring.”

Colson was covering his mouth to keep back his laughs and giggles, knowing what was about to come.

“We didn’t talk for the first 20 minutes of the date,” I continued. “I tried, but he just couldn’t keep a conversation. It took ordering our food for him to finally talk. Even then, he just talked about stuff I didn’t understand because he was an athlete and he counted his carbs to make sure he loaded them right, or whatever. Stupid shit.”

Brittany was absolutely engulfed in my story. “What did you do?”

“Well, I tried my best to stay throughout the whole date. I wanted to just up and leave so many times, but I figured that would be rude and, being young and naïve, I knew I didn’t want to be rude. So I toughed it out for as long as I could. It wasn’t until we had gotten our first course and he talked about himself for roughly another 20 minutes that I finally had enough and knew I couldn’t stay. So, I politely excused myself to the bathroom, where I found myself very fortunate to find that there was a window just above the toilet that was big enough that my small stature could wiggle out of it.”

I had Brittany absolutely hooked. She was literally on the edge of her seat, her eyes staring me down as I continued to tell my story. I felt my heartbeat picking up as I neared the most embarrassing part of my already awful date story. I wanted to end it there, to insist that was the worst part of the date, but I knew Colson wasn’t going to allow that.

“Unfortunately for me, the window wasn’t quite big enough for me to get through without some problems. So, I got up onto the toilet, I started to hoist myself out of the window, when suddenly my dress caught onto the latch to lock and unlock the window. I didn’t realize until too late, so I hurtle myself out of the window only to hear the fabric of my dress RIP loudly behind me. When I looked down, I had tore basically the bottom half of my super expensive dress off, which left me in just my skin colored tights with the underwear I had worn for the occasion being showed off for the world to me. To make matters worse, I didn’t bring my jacket to be able to cover myself up with.”

Colson could not contain his laughter any longer and finally began to laugh so hard that I could see tears forming in his eyes. Brittany covered her mouth in shock, but I could tell by the shaking of her shoulders that she was laughing, too.

“What did you do then?” she asked once she had composed herself enough to speak.

“I got what fabric I could reach and covered myself up the best I could. Borrowed a strangers cell to call my mom to come get me. I’ll tell you, the looks I got from that stranger and from the people around me were...interesting, to say the least. My mom got there just as the guy was exiting the restaurant, I guess finally realizing I had bailed on our botched date. I was so glad he never saw me like that. I’d probably be the subject of all his stories until the end of his days if I were. And I’m so glad I wasn’t famous enough to be tailed by paparazzi then or else my career would’ve been ruined before it even started.”

I could feel my face burning up with embarrassment as Colson and Brittany continued to laugh. It was truly the worst moment in my life, and I had yet to come to a point where I could look back and laugh at it. I knew it was such a hilarious story, but, until I could also find it that funny, I hated sharing it with anyone.

I got pretty quiet for the rest of our appearance. I only answered some questions from Brittany and told another story or two before the show finally ended. Brittany thanked us for being her guests that week and hugged us both, giving me an additional squeeze as she did so. I guess she felt a little sorry for me after I shared my story.

The ride back to Colson’s place started off quiet, before Colson finally spoke. “Are you mad at me?”

I looked up at him. “What? Of course not. Why would I be?”

“I made you tell that story.”

“You didn’t make me tell it. I could’ve said no.”

“But we both know Brittany and I would’ve begged you to tell it if you didn’t.”

He had a point. There was no way I was getting out of telling that first date story after Colson brought it up.

“I knew it embarrassed you, but I didn’t know how much until you got quiet around the end there. I feel like such a sack of shit for even bringing it up.’

I reached across to give his thigh a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t stress it too much, babe. It is a super embarrassing story, but it’s one of my better ones. I always said I’d write about it eventually when I got famous enough to write a memoir.”

Colson chuckled at my joke and took my hand in his. He raised it to his lips, his eyes still on the road, as his lips brushed against my knuckles.

“We should’ve told the story about our first date,” I said, watching Colson’s face for a reaction. I giggled when I got the one I wanted: Colson’s face cringing at the memory.

“No way. I want to forget that first first date ever happened. Our second date is the first date, we agreed on that.”

I giggled and continued to tease him about it as we pulled into his driveway, which earned me a seat on Colson’s lap once he put the car in park, and his long fingers tickling my sides until I was crying from laughter.

[goodlucktai]

Prompt 33 just screams protective nishimura so could you write that please and thankyou 🌸

PROMPTS LIST

33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little?”

i got several requests for this one, specifically with nishimura (and a few, even more specifically, with nishinatsu). you guys really know my brand 😌🌼

x

Kitamoto warned him, but Tanuma was still unprepared.

He's got one arm looped around Natsume's shoulders, something that happened almost entirely involuntarily, and the other is clutching Nyanko-sensei against his chest because the cat's ears are lying back and his claws are pricking through Tanuma's sleeve in an alarming way.

This leaves no hands free to corral Nishimura, and Tanuma thinks he's going to need about three more to do that anyway.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Nishimura is raging, too loud, attracting eyes from all directions. "Who the-- who do you-- who are you? The prime minister? Is this your private property? Do you own this park?"

The unfamiliar boy they bumped into is nearly a head taller than Nishimura but he seems almost cowed by him-- appropriately so, Tanuma thinks fairly, because if he were on the receiving end of this tirade, in a public space, he probably would have started crying by now. An honest assessment.

"I'm asking who you are," Nishimura all but shouts, when the boy in front of him takes more than one second to respond. "What is your name? Do you have an identity?"

"I'm-- my name is Yoshida. I know the fr-- the guy behind you. We were classmates. That's all."

"Oh, is that all," Nishimura says. It's clearly not all.

Yoshida's eyes flick past Nishimura, just for a second, but it's enough to make Natsume twitch. Tanuma doesn't miss it, since Natsume is still tucked snugly beneath his arm. Nishimura doesn't miss it either, because Nishimura is in this heightened state of pissed off that Tanuma has never witnessed before.

He snaps his fingers, says, "What's wrong with you? Don't you know it's rude not to look at someone when they're talking to you?"

It's amazing he doesn't choke on that piece of hypocrisy.

"So you used to know Natsume or whatever, and somehow, in your mind, that translates to... literally attacking him out of nowhere?"

"Nishimura," Natsume says. It's the tone of someone burdened with an impossible task, like stopping a runaway train before it crashes with nothing but his bare hands and hopeful intentions. "He didn't attack me."

Nishimura whirls around and points at him (rudely). "You be quiet! He attacked you!"

"He pushed me. I fell down. That's not an attack."

"That's literally assault! That's-- " He pats at his pockets, clearly looking for the cellphone that he shoved into Tanuma's bag two hours ago, after it died taking roughly one million pictures of the cat at the train station. "Tanuma, Google the Penal Code!"

"I'm not going to do that," Tanuma says gently.

Kitamoto did warn him. He wanted to stay home with his dad this weekend, and urged them to go visit Yuuki without him, but the second the others were distracted, he snagged Tanuma by the sleeve and drew him aside.

"I won't be there, so if something happens, it's up to you," he said. His tone was so serious and grave that for a second Tanuma thought they were talking about the yokai situation and he had absolutely no idea how to process that. And then Kitamoto added, "Nishimura tends to go off the rails a bit when someone's mean to one of his friends. I mean, you've seen it. I just really don't want my best friend getting arrested for disturbing the peace while I'm not around."

So, that was a warning. Looking back, Tanuma should have taken it to heart.

Nishimura is Tanuma's smallest friend, an inch or so shorter than Taki now, but only in stature. If he were as big as all his caring, he would tower over cities. He's right now shouting down someone much larger than he is, without an ounce of sense or self-preservation.

This is the same boy who steals out of Natsume's bento at lunch, and makes faces behind Tsuji's back when he's lecturing them about passing notes during class, and gets into heated arguments with Isamu over the TV Guide literally every time they have a sleepover at Taki's house.

And it's the same boy who taught Natsume how to swim, one sunny August day almost two years ago now, at the river because Natsume was afraid to go into the pool. The same boy who has coaxed Tanuma through more than one panic attack, his hands a familiar shape around Tanuma's own at this point.

His caring is loud, Tanuma thinks. Even when it's quiet.

A few passersby have stopped, lingering nearby like they're going to get involved, and clearly it's making Yoshida feel outnumbered. The fight went out of him about three seconds after Nishimura started yelling in the first place, so all the rest of it has maybe been a bit overkill.

"So, is he just going to keep going? Like, until he runs out of breath?" Yoshida's friend asks.

She's been standing quietly to one side this entire time. Her face had folded with disapproval when Yoshida initially pushed Natsume down, but no one had a second to get a word in edgewise before Nishimura exploded about it, and now she simply looks as though this is the best punishment for her friend that she could have hoped for.

"Um, probably," Natsume says. He's unfamiliar with her, but she smiles at him.

"I only transferred here last year," she says. "And I don't listen to gossip. And anyway, with friends like these, those rumors about you couldn't possibly be true."

Her whole demeanor is calm and self-assured. She reminds Tanuma of Tsuji, and similarly, Natsume's guard seems to relent. He smiles back at her.

This leaves Tanuma free to step away without feeling as though he's abandoning him. With Nyanko-sensei in the crook of his arm, he reaches out and draws Nishimura back by the hood of his jacket, the way he's seen Taki and Kitamoto do one hundred times a day since they were fourteen.

Nishimura squawks in outrage, and struggles against Tanuma's grip, but... well, he's little. And Tanuma has been back in karate for the past year, give or take, so his core strength is fairly solid. It only takes a small amount of effort to reel Nishimura back and tuck him under his arm.

This is better. He feels his heart start to settle. Right here, Nishimura can't fly off the handle any more than he already has, and Tanuma can keep him from getting hurt.

“Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” Nishimura seethes. 

“Yes,” Natsume says quickly.

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

“Satchan,” Tanuma tries, and that, at least, gets Nishimura to stew quietly for a moment instead. “You’ve made your point. I’m sure Yashido is sorry.”

"He is very sorry," Yoshida's friend says peacefully. "He'll be especially sorry once I tell his mom that her only son acted like a stupid bully. Let's go, Hiroo, before you get beat up."

She bows politely, and then carts Yoshida away. Yoshida, if anything, looks relieved to have an out, and retreats without so much as a backwards glance.

"Ugh," Nishimura says. He isn't even winded. "Ugh! Just wait till I tell Kitamoto about that creep! He'll wish he'd been here!"

Kitamoto, who is basically a modern-day prophet, will definitely wish he had been here, though not for the same reasons Nishimura seems to be thinking of. Tanuma needs to reevaluate a lot of the conversations they've had in the past. How many times has Kitamoto said something like "they almost called the cops on us" totally offhand and actually meant it?

"You're insane," Natsume says the second they're alone again. There's a mark on his cheek from where he hit the ground that will be a bruise tomorrow. When their friends see that, they'll all be quick to side with Nishimura over this, so it's important that they get as much scolding in now as possible. "I don't want you picking fights like that, okay? What if it had gone differently, and he'd hit you or something?"

"Good," Nishimura says hotly. "Then our faces would match."

This remark disarms Natsume completely, and his expression turns warm and affectionate. Nyanko-sensei makes a noise that is almost a laugh. His eyes are slitted in something like approval. Kitamoto's warning of "it's up to you" rings loudly in Tanuma's ears. Okay.

He gives Nishimura a gentle shake with the arm still curled around his shoulders, and stands firm when Nishimura looks up at him.

Or, well. Almost stands firm. He does try. He'll tell Kitamoto he tried.

"Come to karate with me next week," he says. "If you're going to pick fights with people twice your size, at least be able to back it up."

Nishimura's face lights up. If he hadn’t been there to see it for himself, Tanuma never would have guessed what he'd been doing one minute ago. This is the boy who dozes off on Natsume’s shoulder during long train rides, who complains about Nyanko-sensei stealing his food but still slips him treats beneath the table anyway, who is delighted just by the idea of spending extra time with Tanuma after school.

"Definitely! No take-backs!" he announces, thrilled. "Just wait till I tell Acchan!"

Natsume gives Tanuma a sympathetic look. Tanuma decides then and there that the next time Kitamoto stays home, he's staying home, too.

[princewylder]

if i were to ask you for a yukamitsu infodump would you do it?

Speaking of which, can we have a yukamitsu infodump?

Anon I am vibrating at the speed of light that's how happy you've just made me. I will infodump about them no problem no questions asked. This got ridiculously long so I have to put a read more in. Enjoy me incomprehensibly screaming about my favorite ship of all time 💀

Ok so yukamitsu. It's honestly my favorite ship/pairing out of any media ever because I think it's so well done and there's a LOT of material for it in canon. So ok to start off the beginning. It's very obvious from the start that Yukari dislikes/distrusts Mitsuru because she blames her for what happened to her father (she's basically the closest she can get to the Kirijo Group so I can understand why she directs most of her anger at her). Now Mitsuru I think can tell that Yukari doesn't like her but doesn't let it show that it bothers her. I think it does upset Mitsuru a little because we see her getting sad at Yakushima when Yukari lashes out at her and also after the love hotel mission. Speaking of the love hotel mission in the female route as far as I know they can literally end up in a room together under the influence of the shadow (like femc and Akihiko and it's very heavily implied that the same thing happened because Mitsuru gets very flustered and says "oh nothing happened") which is like mega gay. So there is tension between the two at the start for good reason to be honest.

But after the Yakushima stuff Yukari starts to shift the blame towards the Kirijo Group itself as opposed to Mitsuru so the tension between them alleviates a bit. Now the drama CD that I listened to yesterday was set during the summer school stuff. And in that the tension between the two was present BUT it was now because Yukari was annoyed with Mitsuru over something that she couldn't quite understand. Until she realizes that it wasn't Mitsuru that was upsetting her exactly but herself. Because she could see that Mitsuru was taking on too much work AND YUKARI COULDN'T FIND A WAY TO HELP HER. She was upset with her own helplessness to help Mitsuru if that makes sense. Mitsuru realizes that Yukari was upset with her taking on too much responsibility and the cd ends with Mitsuru asking Yukari specifically to help her with student council work because she wanted to spend time with her DEAR FRIEND and COMPANION. Now look that's pretty gay if you ask me ok. I don't go out of my way to hang out with friends and call them my companions unless I'm crushing/interested in them in that way. Also to make amends Mitsuru offers Yukari the use of her private shower which you know, that's a pretty big deal.

Then fast forward a few months (big P3 spoilers here) and we get to Mitsuru's dad dying and Yukari recovering the true recording of her dad. The recording is important because it basically removes any of the blame Yukari had towards Mitsuru over her dad dying by showing that her dad sacrificed himself to stop the crazy experiments and also showed that Yukari's dad loved her. So Yukari knows what it's like to lose a parent you're close to. And she can see that Mitsuru is in so much pain from losing her own father. She goes looking for her just before the Kyoto trip because she heard she wasn't going and convinces her to come because she knew it would do her good. Then god the Kyoto scene. THE KYOTO SCENE MAN KILLS ME. Mitsuru breaking down and admitting that her whole reason for fighting was to protect her father (which nobody else knew) and now he was gone she didn't have a reason to live. Then Yukari literally slapping some sense into her and reminding her that she had other reasons to live and that she had to uphold her father's legacy and get rid of the dark hour for both their fathers' sakes. And then Mitsuru turning around and thanking Yukari and asking her to stand by her side until the end. Ok aside from that sounding weirdly like a marriage vow (til death do us part pretty fucking gay Mitsuru) it's also a sign that Mitsuru is starting to trust others. The only other time she ever made a vow/promise similar to this is to herself to protect her father and relieve him of his burden no matter what. AND YET HERE SHE IS MAKING A SIMILAR VOW TO YUKARI. A VOW THAT CAUSES HER TO AWAKEN TO HER ULTIMATE PERSONA AND STRENGTH HER RESOLVE TO LIVE AND DEFEAT THE DARK HOUR NO MATTER WHAT. Don't touch me I am CRYING. Also in the middle of all that Yukari is like "oh let's take a bath together" and Mitsuru BLUSHES. Mitsuru only blushes twice in the main story (not including her Social Link). And both of those times as because of Yukari. Also I'm sorry who asks if you want to take a bath together I don't know about you but I'm not gonna turn around to my "best friend" and be like ahaha wanna take a bath and get naked together :] like who does that Yukari unless you're pretty gay for said person.

Then ok I could sit here and scream about the drama CDs New Moon and Full Moon (which fun reminder that they are canon :]) but this is super long already and I still have more to talk about. But they happen after the Kyoto trip and are incredibly gay. The whole thing can be summed up by Yukari shooting down a helicopter to save Mitsuru and "aiming with the power of her heart". She says that word for word by the way. Oh and Mitsuru's mother literally approves of their relationship and wants to meet Yukari.

Then after that there's just little scenes between them. For example in December when all of SEES are deciding what to do about Ryoji. Mitsuru goes into Yukari's room to talk to her about the whole thing and the first thing Yukari says is "aww are you feeling lonely ;)" in a really teasing (borderline flirty imo) voice and Mitsuru giggles and is like "are you teasing me". Like that little exchange is so playful and it's so nice to see them just bonding casually given everything that's happened between them before. And then they both resolve not to give up and to fight Nyx together no matter what. Which is super cute and gay. There's also a scene around this stage in the fourth movie where Yukari seems to be almost suicidal and Mitsuru getting really concerned about her. This even leads to Io (because the ultimate personas don't show up until the very end in the movies which was weird but anyway) trying to attack Yukari and Mitsuru and the others freaking out. I'm not doing that scene justice because it's been a while since I saw the last movie but it's very gay.

Then there's the Answer. After Yukari breaks down at the thought of not being able to rescue the Protagonist who comforts her?? Mitsuru. Mitsuru tells her that she didn't actually agree with what she was doing but she didn't want Yukari to fight alone and wanted to repay her for helping her deal with the loss of her father. And then she says she considers Yukari standing by her side during the main story was one of the most cherished moments of her life. Because remember up until this point Mitsuru had massive difficulty opening up to anyone and Yukari was the first person she truly opened up to. This scene makes me cry every time because like to see Mitsuru be so supportive of Yukari and gently reminder that she has friends to lean on and their hug just makes me so soft and tender.

That's all the canon stuff. As for my own feelings well I really started shipping them because of everything that happens in canon but like the idea of them ending up together makes me so happy and soft. Both of them had pretty rough childhoods and they both lost their fathers whom they were close to so like they understand each other on a fundamental level. Yukari was the first person that Mitsuru ever properly opened up to and Yukari also really cares for Mitsuru even when she was apprehensive of her and blamed her for the death of her father. I just think they're perfect for each other and the idea of them being happily married makes me so soft. Which is pretty much why I have a whole au about my fankids for them.

Ultimately I just think that their relationship in canon is really powerful and really well done. The ship is a beautiful example of enemies to friends to lovers and I just love them with all my little gay heart.

[phis-corner]

statue of ice

I can only really work on one fic at a time, so me posting this means that I haven’t touched demon’s daughter at all. oops?

warning: a bit of cursing from jason.

Masterlist ◈ Previous ◈ Next

Marinette Drake isn’t a crier.

In fact, she prides herself on not being one. But when she wakes up much earlier than expected, given how late she and the others stayed up last night, the first thing she does is remember.

And then she really, really wants to cry. Because never, ever, in his life, has her brother used Timothy Jackson Drake’s voice when speaking to her.

He only does it when he is upset and in emotional distress, part of her says. But she was the one who caused him to be upset.

It’s not your fault Jack and Janet sent you away permanently! The same bit protests.

Isn’t it? She fires back. I chose to pin the student down as ruthlessly as I did and make a scene. Even if that wasn’t my fault, I should have told Tim. I shouldn’t have put it off and let him find out this way.

He should have let you explain. That tiny bit insists. Maybe both of you were wrong.

It doesn’t matter. She thinks. Either way, Tim will never trust me again.

Marinette silently exits the hotel room where the girls are still sleeping and enters her own so the tears can fall in private.

.o0o.

Her finger taps Jason’s icon. She doesn’t know who else to call, because normally Tim would be her first choice.

“Hey ‘Nette, what’s up? I just got back from patrol.” Jason says, then pauses when he hears her almost inaudible sniffles.

“Are you- are you crying?” He asks, almost incredulously (she can’t blame him. She didn’t take herself for a crier either.) “What’s wrong, ‘Nette?”

“What did I do wrong?” She asks quietly. “I tried so hard to be a good older sister, to make him trust me. I couldn’t tell him that I was sent away for goot, I couldn’t. Why didn’t he understand that?”

“Woah, woah, ‘Nette, slow down. Deep breaths, okay? What happened?” Jason is a rock standing against the unrelenting sea of her (forbidden) emotions.

“Tim-Tam hates me now.” She whispers. “Tim-Tam hates me and thinks I’m just like Jack and Janet for not telling him that I wasn’t coming back for summer break. He doesn’t trust me anymore.”

Jason’s voice is so, so gentle when he says “No, Marinette, Tim loves you more than anything or anyone else in the world. I promise,” that she almost believes it.

Almost.

“Really? He became Timothy Jackson Drake, Jay. He used that voice, the one he saves for people he dislikes being around, or-”

“Or for people he’s currently uncomfortable speaking to.” Jason says. “I remember you explaining it to me. ‘Nette, Tim loves you, which is precisely why he had to use that voice. He doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that he won’t be seeing the person he loves most for quite some time. Give him time to work through it, ‘Nette. He’ll come around. I promise.”

It doesn’t take away all her distress, but it helps that Jason seems so confident in what he’s saying. 

“Thank you, Jason.” Marinette says, wiping the (irritating) tears away. “I should let you go to sleep. I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call.”

“It’s no problem, ‘Nette.” She can hear the smile in Jason’s voice. “We’re friends, aren’t we? I’ll always be here if you need me.”

.o0o.

The summer passes by in a blur.

Marinette is invited to plenty of hangouts with the other girls, but she is more detached than before. She knows they noticed, and that they probably linked it to that phone call, but she is grateful that they don’t pry.

They go to Andre’s ice cream cart once. Andre looks at her with an unreadable expression as he hands her a cone with ‘blackberry for his hair, blueberry for his eyes, and mint for the madness that rests behind his stare.’

Not dark and depressing at all. Marinette thinks as she tries the ice cream. The combination does taste amazing though.

Apparently, she is the only person in their group observant enough to notice that Rose and Juleka had ice cream cones that represented each other.

Did she know how to play matchmaker? No. Did Marinette make business deals with other million dollar corporations at the age of ten for nothing? Also no.

Marinette spends the summer texting or calling Jason, going shopping with Chloe, or trying to get Rose and Juleka together (how can two people be so oblivious?)

The entire time, not a single call or message she receives is from Tim.

.o0o.

On the first day of school, Marinette saves an old man from an oncoming car because Tim and Jason would be disappointed if she didn’t. She sits next to a new girl, Alya, so Chloe and Sabrina (who never really liked her for some reason) can sit behind ‘Adrikins’, whoever that is.

An hour and a half later, she watches her classmate, who is now a stone monster (?) smash everything in its path while roaring Kim’s name. 

Another half an hour later, she finds a wooden box with a pair of magical earrings that hosts a tiny goddess called Tikki that enables her to transform into a heroine with a ridiculously bright suit that is embarrassingly tight.

Another hour goes by, and Ladybug (American English, not the British ‘Ladybird’) and Chat Noir have defeated the akuma, as Tikki called it, and the situation has made national news, though it doesn’t go farther than that because it would be terrible for the tourist industry.

Marinette gets a message from Jason.

Jason: heard about what happened. U ok?

Nette: I am fine. How did you learn about it? It was supposed to be contained within France.

Jason: i’m literally the partner of the world’s greatest detective

Jason: how did you NOT expect me to learn about it

Nette: Fair point.

Jason: so do u know anything abt Ladybug and Chat Noir?

Jason: this is the first time they’ve appeared, right?

Nette: I have a confession to make.

Jason: okay?

Tikki, who is reading over Marinette’s shoulder (a blatant invasion of privacy, but apparently gods do not understand the concept of privacy), glares. 

“You better not be telling him what I think you’re going to tell him, Marinette. Your identity must be a secret!”

Marinette resists the urge to roll her eyes. “To the general public, yes. However, Jason is Robin, the crime-fighting partner to the vigilante known as Batman. He has combat and field experience and knows what it is like to juggle civilian and hero lives. It would definitely not be counterproductive to receive advice from a more experienced ally when I only know basic self-defense.”

“...Fine.” Tikki sighs. “But don’t make this a habit!”

Marinette tsks as she glances back down at her phone. As if she needed Tikki’s approval.

Jason: Nette? U there?

Nette: Sorry. Had to talk to someone.

Nette: I’m Ladybug.

Jason: i was not expecting that but wow okay

Jason: how did you manage to become a magical heroine since i last spoke to u abt half a day ago?

Nette: A classmate got angry, was turned into a stone monster by a magical butterfly, and I found magical earrings in my hotel room.

Jason: that may be one of the weirder origin stories I’ve heard lol

Jason: but on a more serious note, does that suit protect you properly?

Nette: It’s magic, which means it cannot rip as yours can. I estimate it absorbs about 99.6% of the damage.

Nette: Do you have any advice on how to do this whole hero thing? I am not sure I am suited to be one.

Jason: r u kidding me Nette ur one of the most heroic people i know

Jason: and i’ve met the justice league

Jason: u always did everything u could to keep ur brother happy and safe. U literally walked into my house, a mile away from urs, at midnight to ask for my help to do that when we barely knew each other

Jason: when u want to be, ur really kind and sweet and funny- charisma is a necessary skill that B doesn’t have, which is part of the reason why he needs a Robin

Jason: remember when u told me how u gave that homeless man the macarons you just bought from the bakery? And that u wish u could have done more?

Nette: I do remember that, yes.

Jason: most people wouldn’t give a homeless person a second glance. But u gave him a box of two dozen delicious cookies from the best bakery in paris that were most definitely not cheap.

Jason: that’s what a hero does, Nette. That’s what u are.

Jason: woah my fingers are really tired now lol

Nette: How are you so

Nette: Infuriatingly inspirational?

Nette: The only other person who does that is Tim, and I haven’t spoken to him in months.

Jason: u should contact him again

Nette: He doesn’t trust me.

Jason: yes he does! He just doesn’t know how to make up with you cuz he thinks he rlly messed up

Nette: I’ve already been shunned by him one, Jay. I don’t think I could handle a second time.

Jason: oh shit

Nette: ?

Jason: turn on the news.

Jason: now.

.o0o.

“Did you purify the akuma?” Her kwami asks, gazing at her with disappointment in her eyes and a condescending tone.

It reminds Marinette of Janet, and she hates it. “I have an eidetic memory, Tikki. I can tell you that nowhere in your speech about what I needed to do involved ‘purifying’ an akuma.”

“I’m sure I said it!” Tikki defends, crossing her tiny arms. “You must have forgotten!”

“Don’t be scared, Marinette! My name’s Tikki! I’m a kwami!” Marinette recites in a perfect mimicry of her kwami’s voice. “And you have been chosen to be a hero!”

“Then I express my doubt and you nag me until I agree to put the earrings on.” She says in her normal tone, maintaining eye contact with Tikki.

She switches back to Tikki’s voice. “Great! Your power is Lucky Charm. It will summon an object that will help you get an edge over your opponent in battle, and it is your job to know how to use it properly. You will have a partner with the ring of the Black Cat, their power will be Cataclysm, which can destroy the first thing it touches. However, you can only use your powers once per transformation. You will forcibly detransform five minutes after you call on your special power, so make sure you finish your fight quickly after using the Lucky Charm! Your identity must stay a secret! To transform, you say ‘Spots on!’”

“Then I transform, and you disappear into my suit.” Marinette raises an eyebrow at Tikki. “So, what did you miss?”

.o0o.

Purifying an akuma and casting the Miraculous Cure, both necessary to properly defeat an akuma in battle, and both of which can only be done by Ladybug. The most essential part about wielding this miraculous, and her kwami forgot. Wonderful.

“It’s not hard to fix, Marinette!” Tikki says, attempting a comforting smile. “We just have to wait for Ivan to get akumatized again!”

“Yes, let’s wait for my classmate to be so depressed that he turns into a magical rage monster again.” Marinette deadpans. “Do you have no empathy? I was raised and conditioned to show no emotion, and even I can see how terrible that is.”

Her kwami flinches. “It’s the only way.”

Marinette. “I strongly dislike this, you know.”

“I do.” Tikki says apologetically. “But you were the only candidate.”

“Wow.” Marinette deadpans, watching the sun set over Paris, the city she must now protect. “I feel so honored.”

.o0o.

A brief list of what Marinette learns from her second day of school: Do not encourage people who love death metal to write a love song for their timid crush, Ivan and Mylene make a cute couple, Chloe’s friend ‘Adrikins’ is Adrien Agreste, the only son and lead model for fashion designer Gabriel Agreste, and Adrien gives her a bad feeling.

Oh, and Alya Cesaire is similar to Tim- they both run around following heroes to get good shots and angles. The difference is that Tim is sensible and stays hidden in the shadows, never seen or heard. Alya throws herself headfirst into danger, willing to be injured if it means she gets good footage.

She also learns that Chat Noir is flirty.

Well, he only started flirting after she made her counter-speech to Hawkmoth. The man really thought he could manipulate the situation to villainize them, when his face was made of demonic purple butterflies. ‘Akuma’ meant ‘demon’ in Japanese, which said a lot about who was on which side.

Marinette wasn’t the daughter of Janet Drake, who made grown men wet their pants with a single look and consistently ground her business rivals beneath her four-inch stilettos for nothing. Marinette knew how to use words as weapons sharper than any blade.

She supposes something about that speech must have turned the foolish cat boy on, because he started giving her ridiculous nicknames afterwards.

Marinette sighs. Hopefully, he will soon learn that he is wasting his time. It would really be a shame if Robin found out that her partner spent more time flirting than being useful. (The algorithm she wrote predicted that Chat Noir would cease to be more productive than counterproductive in almost a year.)

Her phone chimes with a robin’s chirp, and she accepts the incoming call.

“Nette!” Jason’s voice greets her. “That speech was abso-fucking-lutely amazing!”

“Language, Jay.” She warns, but she smiles all the same.

“You were like ‘How, pray tell, are Chat Noir and I the villains in this situation when your face is formed out of the same butterfly that turned a normal student into a stone being at your command in the first place?’ The look on Hawky’s face is gonna crack me up for weeks!”

Marinette cringes. “Please, don’t ever call him that again.”

“What? Hawky?” Jason asks, and he cringes again.

“Hawkmoth will suffice, Jay.” She sighs. 

“Nah, I like Hawky better.” He retorts. “Anyway, if you ever need me to help kick akuma butt, not that I think you will, just say the word and I’ll be there.”

“You do realize Paris is across the Atlantic Ocean, right?” Marinette asks. “A commercial flight takes seven hours, I assume the Batplane or whatever you call it could maybe do it in four, but that is still too much time.”

“It’s the Batwing.” Jason corrects. “And no, we have zetas, remember?”

Marinette frowns. “No.”

The sound of his facepalm echoes through the speakers. “Right. Since you know our identities, I suppose telling you another secret won’t hurt. You’re trustworthy. Zeta tubes are basically teleporters. The Justice League has them all over the world so they can get where they need to be in time. If I took the zeta downstairs in the Batcave, I could be in Paris in about two minutes, and that’s just because the Manor is insanely huge.”

“So if I were to enter the Paris zeta tube, I could be in Gotham almost instantly?” Marinette asks. “Science has certainly come a long way.”

“Well, I’d have to hack the mainframe to give you access first, but yeah.” Jason replies. “Do you want me to? You could see Tim in person.”

She could see Tim. The question is, would he want to see her? “If I did, he would ask how I managed to fly to Gotham when I should be in school, and how I managed to do so without alerting Jack and Janet. He doesn’t know I asked you to watch over him, nor that you know that we know your identities. I don’t think he would take it very well right now if I did tell him, and he would most likely think that I don’t trust him to take care of himself. I’ve broken his trust enough already.”

“Alright. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Jason says. “Just so you know, I’m programming your access in anyway if you ever change your mind. The Paris tube is behind the door labeled ‘No Entry’ on the side of The Nimble Thimble. You know where that is?”

“I do, yes.” Marinette responds. “I shop there sometimes for fabric.”

“Great. You know where to go if you ever want to come to Gotham!” Jason is grinning. She can hear it in his voice.

“Thanks, Jay.” She says, and she can almost hear his smile get wider.

“No problem Nette! You’re one of my closest friends, you know that? I’ll always be here if you need me.”

Previous ◈ Next

I didn’t exactly end this chapter on angst (yay), but it’s building up for next chapter >:)

taglist (open!) @whydoexamsexist @myazael @miyla-lokidottir @ira-sairain @zalladane @frieddonutsweets @moonlightstar64 @karategirl19 @consumeconstantly @maybe-nonsense @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @ola-is-dead @bee-wrecker

permanent tags (open!) @wannajointhecrabcult @miraculous-simmer7 @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @fantasyislive @chocolateherringtacofan @junarvion @susiej1118 @aestheticnpoetic @toodaloo-kangaroo @ladybug-182 @itsmeevie01 @g-arya @souleateralicestein @nightstarblue @i-is-mysterious @moonystars14 @theapparentsarah

unspecified @momothefemur @indecisive-mess-named-me @laurcad123 @ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @sassakitty @fusser90

[didsomeonesaydaddydraco]

Secrets | d.m imagine

Hermione and I are on our way to the Great Hall to have breakfast with Ron and Harry. We accidentally overslept this morning because we were up late last night studying for our upcoming DADA test. She tries to hide her yawing, but I can tell by the dark circles under her eyes, that she is as tired as I am.

- You know what I don’t understand? – She looks at me confused – How on Merlin were you sorted into Gryffindor with that attitude of yours? Don’t get me wrong, you know I love you, you’re my best friend, but the amount of sass you have and how determined you can get, you’d be better off at Slytherin, but you still ended up at Gryffindor.

I freeze for a second, memories flashing right before my eyes from a couple of years ago.

*4 years ago*

I’m aimlessly wandering around the caste with my fellow schoolmates around me. A bunch of 11 years old, who are very much eager to start their school year at the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The endless corridors amaze us, and the living pictures scare most of us as they welcome the new students with a few nice words. We’re waiting by a huge old wooden door for Professor McGonogall to let us in so we can be sorted into our Houses. I know a lot about this School. My brother was a student here, along with my parents, their parents and basically my whole family.

- Follow me, please – an elder student comes up to us to lead the way. We’re called to a chair and the Sorting Hat is placed on our heads. For some student he doesn’t have to think much which House he should put them, but for a boy, named Harry Potter, he thinks a lot. It looks like he cannot make a decision, but suddenly he yells out Gryffindor.

- Next is, Miss Y/F/N – as Professor McGonogall calls my name, my knees start to shake, and my palms get sweaty. Without any shown emotion, I sit on the stall, my legs not being long enough to reach the ground. My breathing is getting heavier second by second as the Hat is getting put on me.

Please, not Slytherin. Please, do NOT put me in Slytherin.

- Hmm, what do we have here – the loud voice of the Hat starts and I feel like I’m going to faint soon – Oh, wow… - he hums – Very interesting mind. A huge knowledge, and bravery – for a second I feel a slight relief as he’s listing the Gryffindor characteristics – But I see creativity, with a very strong determination and ability to be a great leader…just like a true Slytherin.

Please, I’m begging. Do NOT put me in the Slytherin House…

- Exciting thoughts you have here, young Y/Fam/N – the Hat chuckles but yells out my house finally – Gryffindor!

 *Present*

- Hey, are you OK? – Hermione asks me. I zoned out after the flashback. All these years, nobody asked be why it was so hard for the Sorting Hat to choose my House. They still think I’m just a rather complicated person with quite a twisted personality.

- Yeah, sure – I smile weakly at her – I’m just tired, hungry and nervous about our DADA test, that’s all – I shrug and fasten my walking to the Great Hall. Never in my years at Hogwarts have I thought that maybe my secrets will be exposed one day. And that day was closer than I imagined.

Two weeks have passed since Hermione’s question, and ever since than I’ve tried everything to avoid that specific topic, but she doesn’t seem to want to. Every chance she has, she would ask about my family and why in Merlin’s love I’m not talking about them or about my life outside of Hogwarts. Last night we even had a fight about it in front of half of the School, when she pushed her questions on me during dinner. I got enough of her obsession with my family tree and rushed out of the Hall. But on my way out, I saw Draco Malfoy looking at me with a knowing smirk and some foreign flame in his eyes. Something, that looked very close to sympathy.

- Hermione, I think you should drop it – I hear Harry trying to convince her – I bet those are just rumours. You know how bad they can be.

I walk up to them but before I can sit down on my usual spot next to Hermione, she jumps up and looks at me fumingly. I immediately know that she knows. Of course she does.

- Could you tell me when you wanted to tell us everything? – Her voice is louder than usual and it attracts the attentions of the students at Great Hall. They loved a great drama during dinner time, so they could talk about something after it at their Common Rooms.

- Hermione – I warn her that neither the place, nor time is right for this conversation. But when I try to ask her to talk about this somewhere more private, she cuts me off.

- Do not Hermione me, Y/N – she screams at me with pain in her eyes – A couple of weeks ago I asked you how you were sorted into Gryffindor, when you clearly have the characteristics of a Slytherin. You zoned out and didn’t give me an answer – she starts her story – Silly me thought, it must be a misunderstanding, or you were just going through this weird faze when you act like a total jackass. I tried to talk with you about this, but you changed the subject every single time – she is playing with her wand like she was some kind of teacher, trying to teach us the lesson – So you gave me no other choice than to do some research…

- Hermione, I think we should – Harry stands beside her, tugging on her robe to pull her away from me. Ron stands up too and looks worried. At least he is worried. People are gathering around us, eager to find out what this whole drama is really about. I spot a platinum blond head in the crowd, Draco’s eyes burning my face as he is trying to read in my mind.

- We should do what, Harry? Hmm? – Hermione pushes off his hand from her shoulder and looks back at me – We should just live with the fact that one of our oh so called best friend is actually supposed to be a Slytherin, being the descendent of one of the most ancient pureblood wizard families? Or you just want to avoid the fact that her father was sentenced to death by a Dementor’s kiss, and her brother is probably die in one of the most guarded cells of Azkaban because they were loyal to Who He Shall Not Be Named and served him? Almost everyone in her family was, or still a Death Eater.

Everyone around us gasps. Silence fills the Great Hall as Hermione yells out the last words. Everyone is surprised, except Malfoy. He looks like he knew about this the whole time, and he probably did. His parents being Death Eaters as well, they might had known my father.

- Your mother changed your name, used her middle name as your last name so it might confuse the Sorting Hat – she takes a step closer to me, her wand still in her hand as she was afraid I might hex her. And in this moment, I really want to do that, but I won’t – That’s why the Hat was confused. That’s why the Professors acted like they had no idea who you were, but they all knew.

- You couldn’t keep your nose out of my business, right? – I scoff and look at her. The girl, who I thought was a friend. Whom I thought would never judge me – Are you happy now? You know this too. Does it make you a better person? Do you think you can use this against me?

- I… - she opens her mouth, but this time I’m the one who cuts her off.

- I hope you are finally satisfied. But for your information, private life is called private for a reason. And if you don’t want to cause any trouble for yourself in the future, I suggest you to stay out of other people’s business. Not everyone is as nice as I am – I say to her with ice cold voice and leave the room in a rush.

I’m literally running all the way up to the Astronomy Tower. My tears blur my vision, and I almost fall a couple of times, but all I want is to be as far from Hermione as I can. My knees give up, and they can no longer hold me on my feet. I collapse to the ground and let myself cry. My father was indeed a Death Eater, but he was a good man. He never meant to hurt anyone, he just made all the wrong choices, along with my brother. They loved their family endlessly, and would have done everything to protect Mom and me. And they did. That’s why they were both locked up at Azkaban for years. Than the Ministry made their decision about Dad, who refused to give names to the judges. So he got a Dementor Kiss. Elvin, my brother, was only sentenced to spend the rest of his life at Azkaban.

I hear footsteps from behind me, but I refuse to turn around. I don’t want to face anyone now, I just want to be alone with my shame, grief and thoughts.

- I don’t care who you are, but I don’t want to speak, nor I want company – my voice is filled with sorrow, and the cold November weather makes me shiver. I just started to feel cold. I must have been too angry to feel anything but the fire burning inside of me which wanted to hex Hermione for being so nosy.

- The Towers tends to be quite cold around this time of the year – I’m shocked by the voice. I thought Hermione ran after me to finish her story about my own damn life, or if it wasn’t her, I thought it was going to be Harry or Ron coming after me, to make sure I’m okay, and to ask me if she was right about all those things she had said in the Great Hall. But for my surprise, it was no other, than the Prince of Slytherin, who had been watching me for the last couple of weeks, and who couldn’t look away from my face during Hermione’s “attack”.

- Here you go – he says softly as he wraps his Slytherin robe on my shoulders. I look up at him, just to see his facial expressions. All I can see is sympathy and kindness on his every cold and emotionless face. His pale skin looks like it’s glowing in the moonlight, and his eyes are sparkling just like the stars on the jet black night sky – I come here often. When I want to be alone and need to think or just let out everything that I’ve been hiding in my mind.

I follow his movements, as he sits down beside me. So close our arms are brushing to each other, a sudden warm feeling going through my whole body. Draco was a jerk. He was full of himself, and lived for terrorizing everyone who wasn’t a Slytherin or a pureblood witch or wizard. Somehow, he never had anything bad to say to me; he never called me Gryffindork, or any other insulting names. But at the same time, he never really talked to me – only when we were paired to work together for essays or at Potions class a couple of times.

- You knew, didn’t you? – I ask him after a rather long silence – That’s why you left me alone, not calling me names and picking on me. You knew who I was, and who my parents were…and that’s why you were around me these couple of days. You knew she was going to figure out, right?

He only answers with a small nod. He doesn’t look at me. I turn my gaze away from his side profile, and stare at the sky. We sit there is silence, the only noise our slow breathing, and the sound of the wind dancing through the columns of the Tower. Out of nowhere, Draco grabs my hand, and holds it in his. His thumb is drawing little circles on my wrist and my quite sobs start to calm down and fade.

- I’m not them – I sigh – I’m not my parents or my brother. I would never be a Death Eater. I wouldn’t be able to kill someone, even if they deserved to die. My father and Elvin never killed anyone. They were only…

- Shhh – Draco pulls me closer and lets me to rest my head on his shoulder – You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know how hard your life must have been. And it still is. To be honest, it’s never gonna change. You can only learn to live with this, keep it as a secret and pretend it won’t affect your future – he plays with my fingers, and I know, this time, he’s not referring to me only, but to himself and his future as well – But the truth, it will. We just have to be strong and smart enough, to bare it.

- I don’t know if I can do this alone – I whisper, a single tear rolling down my cheek, dropping on Draco’s hand. He turns to me, and places his free hand on my cheek. I watch his light pink lip running along his bottom lip, his lips curving into a small, but genuine smile.

- Who said you have to do it alone? – he asks me – I’m pretty good at keeping dirty little secrets.

- I bet you have tones of those – I finally laugh a bit. At the sound of my laughter, his smile grows wider, and a cheeky little fame appears in his almost grey eyes.

- Oh, trust me darling, I do – he laughs as well – One of them being having a crush on you…

From that night, Draco did everything in his power to protect me, and I did the same with him. It took me a while, to be comfortable again inside the walls of Hogwarts. I lost a few friends, but at the same time, I gained a few more. People, who were on my side, no matter what. After summer break, Hermione and I apologised to each other. She finally accepting that fact that she might be way too nosy, and wanted to grow as a person, and learn to stay out of other people’s business for her own good. And I told her everything about my family, friends, childhood, fears and dreams. Of course we had a fight about me dating Draco, but when I explained her, that he would never ever hurt me, she finally accepted him at our and in the Gryffindor’s common room as well. As for Draco, it took me a couple of months to get used to the idea, that that arrogant asshole really had a soft side and he loved to show it to me. We never told the whole school that we were, in fact, a couple. Some people knew, some had no clue. We loved the idea of being each other’s dirty little secret.

[peralta-guaranteed]

Romantic epiphanies are dope

At what point, though, had she decided that it was Jake of all people who would disrupt her calendar so completely, while also fulfilling the dreams she didn’t dare write down on it?

After all, if 11-year-old Amy had been asked to create a binder on her future husband - Jake would have not even been mentioned in the footnotes. If she could’ve wished for a partner back then, she definitely wouldn’t have specified that he had to be dorky and clumsy, constantly making bad jokes, living on a diet that would send any other person to the hospital for malnutrition, obsessed with action movies and cop heroics, spending his free time and money on the most useless things anyone could think of, and pranking and bothering her to his heart’s content.

-*-*-*-

On the evening of their engagement, Amy wonders about her own romantic epiphanies and what made her decide that Jake was the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with.

Read it on AO3

“What about you?”

The scene at Shaw’s bar had settled down a bit after the united ring of the squad had broken down into their own little groups as they always did. Gina was busy admiring Terry’s biceps from a corner booth, phone in hand as always, while he played a game of darts with Jake, who was shooting glances over to Amy every few seconds as if they had been apart for months again instead of just a few minutes. Charles was extolling the virtues of some new restaurant to Captain Holt, who definitely looked like he was preparing to leave ever since he’d stepped foot into the bar. Hitchcock and Scully were… well, somewhere, either asleep or eating, probably.

And Rosa was sliding onto the barstool next to Amy, a cocktail glass - Moscow Mule, her favourite, Amy had learned after literally a year of sleuthing - in her hand and a curious glint in her eye that didn’t quite fit the usually stoic face.

“Hmm~?” Amy gave her a quizzical look - she was not yet anywhere on her scale of drunkenness, still holding the beer she’d used to cheer during today’s round of toasts. She didn’t  want to get drunk tonight - she wanted to remember it all, forever. The little diamonds of her wonderful new ring were shining just perfectly against the dark brown bottle.

“What about you, Santiago. When was your romantic epiphany? Knowing that you’ll say yes if he asks?” Rosa raised an eyebrow and schooled a more appropriate, serious look on her face. “Because let’s be honest, as sweet as Jake is, his’ was pretty lame. You do cross word puzzles like, every night.”

“Oh, I see.” Amy gave the label on her beer a good scratching, peeling off the edges slightly. “I guess-” she started, but nothing else came.

While Rosa usually enjoyed drinking in silence far more than anything, right now she was on the level of inebriated where she would actually let loose enough to, ugh,  chat . And she wanted to chat with Amy, of all people. Well, she supposed, maybe that wasn’t quite so strange, considering she was one of her best friends. Actually, her best friend. Girl-wise, next to Jake. It was still a struggle to admit to herself that these two absolute dorks were far more than just co-workers to her, sometimes even more than just simple friends.

But Amy was still silent, staring at her drink as if it held the answer to everything (which it definitely didn’t if it turned her into Spacey Amy on drink 1).

“It’s fine if you don't have one, you know. S’not always like the movies.”

“No no, it’s just- it’s kinda-” The beer’s label was peeling some more, and the bottle was almost empty after another sip.

It was just kinda… the fact that Amy had always been split down two very different sides concerning marriage.

On the one hand, it had never really occurred to her. Her life plan, hanging proudly over her bed while she was living alone, now replaced by a movie poster of Jake’s that was luckily not Die Hard and the plan relegated to her little office corner, made no mention of it. She had plans for her career - many of them - and actually a few goals for her private life as well, to maintain a healthy work-life-balance as one should. But marriage? There had never been a date set on her wall for that. It was too risky, she’d reasoned even as a teen while drawing up her first plan. Unpredictable, since it involved a whole other person, and relationships couldn’t be planned and dated down to the day, which she hated to think about, and she wouldn’t have much time to date anyway if she was gearing up to be the youngest female Captain in NYPD history. And, if she was completely honest, it was sometimes too scary to think about as well - she knew she was a difficult person to be around, in some ways. Definitely difficult to handle as a romantic partner. What if she couldn't find a man willing to put in that work? And then see the dates on her calendar pass by, alone, or crying from heartbreak? No, marriage was not on her life plan at all, she’d decided at the ripe age of eleven in her pink and off-white bedroom while writing down all the big moments of her life to come.

On the other hand, it had always been an obvious yes. Having a husband,  having a family - she could imagine nothing else, growing up with all her siblings, with her parents still being obviously in love with each other after all these years, with her tias and tios and abuelas and abuelos all around her. What would life even be like without that kind of family? Without people over at her place every holiday, without someone trusted by her side tag-teaming all the tasks and duties of everyday life, without that little group of people that she knew would always be there, would always be loving and caring for her the way she loved and cared for them. It was unimaginable. She’d seen the endlessly romantic scenes in films and read about them in her books, and while she was not easily impressed or swayed even as a teenager, she was definitely... expecting some of that in her own life. She wanted the romantic moments, the flashbacks to tell her children and grandchildren about, the beautiful proposal, the perfectly-planned wedding, the photo album of years and years together, of all the milestones a couple could have. Yes, marriage was definitely on her life plan, tucked into the back of her mind and ever present.

At what point, though, had she decided that it was  Jake  of all people who would disrupt her calendar so completely, while also fulfilling the dreams she didn’t dare write down on it?

After all, if 11-year-old Amy had been asked to create a binder on her future husband - Jake would have not even been mentioned in the footnotes. If she could’ve wished for a partner back then, she definitely wouldn’t have specified that he had to be dorky and clumsy, constantly making bad jokes, living on a diet that would send any other person to the hospital for malnutrition, obsessed with action movies and cop heroics, spending his free time and money on the most useless things anyone could think of, and pranking and bothering her to his heart’s content.

Then again, that wasn’t Jake anymore - maybe it had been during their first few years as only co-workers, but he was constantly changing, growing up step by step, maybe a bit later than others, but definitely growing. He was always willing to learn, as much as he’d moan about it all. He was willing to get better, spurned on by competition, maybe, or by the desire to be the best -anything- he could be, not just best detective, but he was willing no matter the reason.

And then again, that wasn’t all that Jake had really been, ever - maybe on the outside, to the unknown onlooker, but not to those who really spent time with him. As careless as he was with his own health, he was always caring for everyone else in his own subtle and not so subtle ways. As ridiculous as his jokes and pranks were, he also knew exactly when they were not appropriate anymore, and he could lend a hand or a sympathetic shoulder just as seriously as he could stand guard for you if you needed a moment alone in the evidence lock-up. As much as he would boast about himself and throw jabs at everyone else, he would also turn into the ultimate hype-man for everyone on the squad at the mere mention of one of them failing or stumbling.

And if Amy had been given the chance to write a wishlist for the man she wanted to spend her life with at any point of her planning - that kindness, compassion and support would’ve definitely been on the top of it.

She realised she still hadn’t answered Rosa. Luckily, Diaz was exactly the kind of person who knew how to hold onto a weighted silence and give her all the time she needed without interrupting her. She simply sipped her heavy-on-the-vodka-please drink and waited.

“I don’t think I-” Amy started up again, realising that her beer bottle was now completely label-less, a small heap of paper on the bar counter next to her. “I don’t think it was one big moment, to be honest. I think it was a lot of little ones.”

“Like what, buying folders together to get his desk straightened out? The moment when he actually used a five-syllable-word right? The day he finally stopped mixing gummy bears with red vines and calling it ‘sugar bolognese’?”

“I know you’re making fun of it, but those were all milestones in their own way, okay?” Amy shot Rosa a little glare, which proved to be extremely ineffective against the other Latina’s taunting grin.

“But they weren’t the moments?” Rosa continued to poke her, turning her voice several octaves higher for the last words. “Where Jake turned into the knight in shining armour baby-Amy definitely used to draw into her diary?”

No, they weren’t. Sure, Amy was proud of Jake for all of them. But they weren’t the moments where she’d realised that this was it, that this person was  her person. That there would never be anyone who loved her the way he did, and that she could never feel for anyone else what she felt for him.

She tried to think of something romantic, something big to throw back into Rosa’s face, make her stop the jokes and understand. Make her see that it wasn’t about the grand gestures or the perfect match that made Jake her one and only, as cheesy as that sounded.

They’d had many big moments, that was for sure.

When he went in front of the whole precinct here at Shaw’s to cryptically talk about how much just six days with her meant to him. When she knocked on his door to say  screw light and breezy and his eyes lit up as if she’d just taken the weight of the world off of his shoulders. When he sat at the back of an ambulance, a bullet wound from her in his leg and the memory of Figgis’ gun still on his temple, and none of that seemed to matter because they were back in sync and he’d get to finally go back home with her. When he forfeited a bet, lost a collar and gave up his entire apartment for her happiness. When she was knee-deep in files at the precinct long after her working hours and her phone rang, an unknown number on the screen, and when she picked it up she heard his voice so far away and metallic and realised that he must’ve broken several rules and put himself into danger just to get a phone into prison to talk to her. When he spun an entire Halloween heist around today to get her to win it, all so he could give her that soft scared smile as she turned and saw him down on one knee.

Rosa knew about all of these. She’d witnessed them, or heard her drunkenly ramble about them during their weekly get-togethers. And they were all big moments, good moments, special moments she would re-tell to everyone who wanted to hear about her and Jake and their story.

But they weren’t all of it. They were the big plot points in their shared book of life, that was for sure. But they weren’t the kind of quotes she’d underline, the ones she’d write little notes into the margins for. The ones that made her love this book more than any other story she’d ever read.

Yet when she thought about those definitely underlined quotes that came up in her mind now, they all seemed so… trivial, compared to what you’d expect about romantic epiphanies.

Like the time she picked him up at the airport coming back from prison, when he leant back in his seat and took a deep, almost inappropriate sniff of her stupid little pinetree air freshener, telling her how unreal it seemed that someone could miss a smell like that, but that he’d longed for it for weeks now. That it wasn’t pinetree to him anymore, it was the comfort of Amy’s car, and their morning drive to the precinct when he was too tired to get into his Mustang, and Amy picking him up after a few hours too long working on a case, all wrapped up in one scent that he never realised he could miss. He was sniffing an air freshener, with his uneven beard scratching all over it, red eyes from an early flight and maybe a few tears they’d shed at the pick up area, and Amy was sure her heart could never ache as much for anyone else as it did for the tired man sitting in her passenger seat.

Or the time she’d come home from work on his first day off after they’d moved in together, expecting to see her prim and proper apartment turned into a slouchfest the way his old place had been. Only to realise that nothing had changed - safe for the take out containers next to the sink, which had enough left in it that they could share it for dinner. Only to realise that he had actually done all of the laundry,  and  folded all her socks and underwear exactly right,  and  even folded the fitted sheets properly,  and put it all into the closet in the system she’d developed but never actually written down, because it came to her like second nature. Only to realise that meant that he’d watched her, every time she’d done it, to learn it all perfectly so he could do it for her. And she looked at him as he jumped up from the couch to heat the take out for her as she changed out of her work clothes, and realised that she never wanted to share her home with anyone else.

Or the time he’d first been invited to the big Santiago summer get together, and she’d stressed over it just as much he did, making information binders on her family and their quirks and their habits and what he could say and what he should absolutely not say. But when the party finally came, and he’d squeezed her hand so nervously stepping into the living room, he managed to remember every single brother’s, sister-in-law’s, niece’s and nephew’s name, made extra time for her abuela Claudia’s stories and waited for her tia Maria to translate everything someone yelled in Spanish for him, sat down at exactly the place on the table that would’ve secretly been reserved for him as a test, and slipped into dinner conversations and children’s games down at the lake as if he’d always been there, always been a part of her family. She watched him running from her nephews’ water guns and secretly rolling his eyes at her while talking to her brother David and offering his arm to her abuela Sofia on a walk the way he would usually offer it to her, and she realised that it fit so well because he should have always been there, that this spot in her family had always waited for him.

Or the time she’d started her period while staying over at his place for the first time ever, waking up to stained sheets and cramps and the rushing feeling of pure embarrassment, telling him she was so, so sorry and would buy him new sheets and probably better get home so she could deal with this and not bother him for the rest of the weekend despite the plans they’d made. And he’d simply gotten out of bed, rummaged through a cabinet in his bathroom and returned with painkillers, a hot water bottle, and a box of pads and tampons he’d bought after an awkward day at the academy when Rosa had lectured him about always being prepared for anything his fellow detectives could need. And he’d parked her on the sofa after she’d changed into one of his boxers, and the washing machine was already cleaning the sheets and her underwear, and he said  be right back and returned from the bodega on the corner with ice cream and salt & vinegar chips and her favourite chocolate. And she looked at him as he sat down on the other side of the couch, remote already in hand to see what they could binge-watch this weekend, acting as if nothing was wrong and she hadn’t just completely inconvenienced him and weirded him out with her problems, and she realised that she hadn’t. That they’d been together barely a month and a half, and he was already so comfortable having her around that he was prepared for anything. That she could lay it all on him, without the fear of being embarrassed or rebuked as she had been with any other man in her life before him.

Or the time she cancelled what was meant to be their second date ever (after that awkward, chaotic, yet happy-ending first one) because she’d gotten sick. When he showed up that evening at her door, she’d been worried he hadn’t gotten her text (she was too stuffed up to speak properly on the phone, she’d realised when calling in sick to work). But he was wearing an old t-shirt and sweatpants instead of a date outfit, and carried a grocery store bag and a drug store bag, and then he made her take a bath with one of those cold-remedy bath salt sachets he’d found, and cooked her his mom’s sickly-soup (with store-bought matzoh balls, he had to admit, he never quite got those right), and let her pick any movie she wanted to watch while they ate their soup wrapped up under one blanket so she could steal all of his body heat. He’d been to her place as her boyfriend only twice before, but she realised as she snuggled into his arms under the blanket and blew her nose into one of the extra-soft tissues he’d bought that she’d felt so wrong being sick and alone at her home, that she’d subconsciously hoped he could be there to rub the vapo-rub on her back before she went to sleep that night, and that nothing felt more right than him already whistling in the kitchen when she woke up feeling slightly better the next morning.

They were all these little moments, these facets of life that barely even mattered to outsiders, that happened and re-happened several times a year. But they did matter, and they came into her mind every time her mom warned her on the phone not to be ‘too hasty’, every time her non-work friends asked her if she was really sure she was talking about ‘Peralta, the guy you used to moan about so much’, every time someone made a joke to Jake and her about her being ‘above his pay-grade’ or them being ‘an odd couple if they ever saw one’. It was these little moments that mattered so much more to her than any grand romantic gesture could, and that manifested in her mind that Jake was it, and always had been.

The bottle of beer in her hand was still label-less, but she noticed that it was also empty. She didn’t know when she’d transitioned into Spacey Amy, but looking up at Rosa’s face, seeing Gina next to her who’d apparently walked up at some point, she realised that she’d been talking, not thinking all of this.

“Daaaamn, girl.” Gina replied, but her voice was quiet, not even close to the usual mocking tone she’d take on for Amy. Rosa next to her was silent, blinking hard, and if she didn’t know her any better Amy would’ve almost believed she was fighting back a few tears. Which was ridiculous, because this was Rosa, and she’d only had six drinks, which brought her barely close to the emotional level she needed to even think about crying. Rosa’s drunk-scale started a lot later than Amy’s did.

Amy swept away a little tear from her own cheek while grinning awkwardly down at her bottle.

“Good thing that was one drink Spacey Amy and not two drink Loud Amy, huh?” She tried to joke, but Rosa only shook her head.

“Santiago, shit like that, you should shout from the fucking rooftops. Or at least into your fiancé’s stupid grinning face. Damn, I’m genuinely so happy for you two dorks, you’re so perfect. Don’t ever quote me on that, though.” Rosa had at least reached the swearing stage of drunkenness, the one where she’d wrap genuine emotion in as many rude words as possible to make it seem like she still didn’t care as much as she did.

Amy looked over at Jake and caught him looking away just as quickly. He’d been watching her again. He often did when he thought she wouldn’t notice, she’d realised that early on in their relationship. They’d be watching a movie, or hunched over case files, or simply hanging out at her kitchen counter nibbling on take away leftovers and discussing their day, and she’d look up and notice him almost flinching away. On the rare occasions that she woke up after him - once in a blue moon, when the night had been far longer than she’d planned, like tomorrow, probably - she would roll to the side and meet with his eyes, half-closed and shining and definitely, completely focussed on nothing but her.

It was almost unsettling to be the centre of someone’s attention like that, but in a good way. In a way that made her heart skip a beat, because she’d never expected to be anyone’s point of focus like this, ever.

Maybe, besides all the little moments and epiphanies, that had actually been the point of no return for her, love-wise - when she realised just what she was to Jake. Everything, he’d told her not just once during his more romantic moments, whispering in her ear and pressing a kiss to her temple.  You’re everything to me, Ames, and sometimes I think you’re even a bit more than that.  

“Hey.” She heard his voice next to her as he walked up from the long-forgotten dart board, where Gina was quick to jump in and challenge Terry to another round to see him flex his shoulders.

“Hey yourself.” She grinned back, one drink Amy still on the clock.

“Thought I should come over here to tell you something really important.”

“Oh, sure.” The serious tone in his voice made her steel herself almost as a reflex. “What is it?”

“I realised I’m absolutely, crazy in love with you. Is that okay?”

And there was this grin, this stupid wide grin she knew so well, that always looked a bit different when it was directed towards her than anyone else. Amy couldn’t help but laugh as she softly punched his arm.

“Yeah, you know.” She looked at the ring on her finger as she stroked over the space she’d only just hit. “I think that’s pretty okay.”

He leant down for a kiss, and they could both hear a gagging sound from the side.

“Knock it off, Diaz.” Jake shot Rosa a fake-angry look. “You’re not allowed to make fun of us today.”

“Alright, alright. I don’t need to watch it, though.” Rosa stood up from her bar stool, only to punch Jake into the other arm, definitely stronger than Amy just had. He grinned at her nonetheless, knowing full well that was as close and emotional as a tight hug would be from his old friend.

“Better take your fiancée home before she turns into two drink Amy, though. Think you’ve got some stuff to say that shouldn’t be heard from the whole bar.” She grinned again before walking off to beat both Gina and Terry at darts.

Jake followed her with his eyes before smiling back at Amy.

“My fiancée.” He repeated, and she could see how strange the word still felt in his mouth, strange and new and absolutely joyful.

“Your future wife.” She smiled back, and it didn’t sound strange at all. It sounded perfectly right. Because it had always, always been.

[woman-of-culture]

The traitor 2/2

Dabi x reader

I really needed to finish this bc I couldn't focus on literally anything but Dabis dick. 🥵

Warnings: 18+, smut, Dabis identity

Part One

Words: 7,864

What’s one word to describe this trip you ask? Nerve-racking, from the moment you left your apartment to the moment you entered the bus. Everything seemed like a blur at this point as you walked through the bus to find the only empty seat next to your target, Bakugou. It’s not exactly guilt you felt, you knew this was inevitable, but you did contemplate the outcome of this.

The League could fail, although that was unlikely from the plan Dabi told you, he could refuse or he could possibly join by some miracle. You haven’t the slightest clue but you were damn sure on one thing, you were gonna do everything in your power to ensure the Leagues success from the shadows. Sitting next to Bakugou you made sure to give him a curt nod as a sort of greeting.

“Haah? What makes you think you can sit there you damn extra?” “What do you want me to do? Stand for how many hours this trip takes? No thanks, if you don’t want to sit next to me then get up and leave.”

That seemed to pop a nerve in the boy, making him shout for a few seconds but ultimately falling silent when Aizawa told him to be quiet. ‘Thank God’ you thought to yourself as you laid back, thinking of ways to get the schedule for the next few days.

You put your headphones on, not wanting to be distracted by any unnecessary noise as your mind slowly drifts off to this morning.

--------------------------------------------------

You woke up to the annoying sound of your alarm clock bursting to life just to make your life a little more miserable. “For fucks sake, who schedules a trip for 6 AM...” You thought, silently groaning at the stiffness in your body. You got up, stretched, did your morning routine of brushing your teeth, combing and styling your hair etc.

Ready to go make yourself breakfast, you certainly didn’t expect Dabi to still be here, let alone fully awake and shirtless in the middle of your kitchen. You discreetly admired his physique from the entrance of the kitchen, gawking at the muscles on his back, flexing every time he reached for something.

‘Holy shit’ you knew Dabi was an attractive and physically fit man, despite his kinda lanky built, but this wasn’t what you were expecting at all. His shoulders and 1/3 of his back are the same charred skin covering his face and chest but what you weren’t expecting was he smooth, pale skin of the rest of his back. The contrast extremely attractive in your eyes as you do nothing but stare and wonder what the front view is like.

As if hearing your thoughts, he turns slightly exposing the well defined muscles of his abdomen. Your eyes drawn immediately to the harsh skin of his collarbone, down the valley of his abs to the exposed, very prominent and very attractive v-line dipping to his most private area.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the view but it’s not exactly nice to stare so hard for so long unless you’re planning on doing something about it.” Visibly flinching, you turn around, (poorly) hiding your more than flushed cheeks. “Get over y-yourself! I was just wondering why you were still here since you usually leave b-before I wake up.” “Aaw, dollface is so flustered she can’t even look me in the eyes. Don’t be so embarrassed, it’s normal to feel excited after that. You know, I could help with that in no time flat-...”

“OK, OK I GET IT! Shut up and answer my question, what are you still doing here?” You turn to face him, metaphorical steam coming out of your ears at his daring comments. He returns to what he was previously doing, which you now notice is making coffee and a sandwich. “Well I...don’t need to answer that.” He avoids the question completely, taking the 2 cups of coffee and sandwich to the living room table.

“That’s not fair Dabi! My house, my rules. Now answer the question.” Thinking he made a sandwich just for himself, you go to the fridge but stop once he called out to you “It’s your sandwich dumbass, I can’t eat in the mornings...” The last part being whispered as if it’s some secret.

You whipped your head so fast in his direction you’re surprised your neck didn’t snap. “What!? You? Dabi? The leach in my life who comes here just for the food, made something for me?“ You walked to the living room as you looked at him dead in the eyes. You leaned in far too close for his liking with narrowed eyes asking “What did you do to Dabi? Am I still sleeping? Toga, is that you?”

The proximity and teasing enough to slightly fluster him. He pushed at your face with his hand, blocking your view of him as he told you to shut up and eat like a normal person in silence.

You grabbed his hand, giggling as you removed it and agreed to eat while watching TV.

“...I won’t be able to come so often...” He mumbled into the coffee after a few minutes of silence. “Won’t be able to come? What are you talking about?”

“Well, you’re going to be at the camp in a few hours so I won’t be able to see you while you’re there...not to mention if this mission is a success and we get the explosive kid, that means I’ll have to be at the base more to keep watch and whatever. So I stayed today to be with you just a little more...” He said, not lifting his gaze from the TV during that whole monologue.

It now dawns on you, Dabi won’t be able to come in the evenings to spend the nights with you. “Oh” was the only word that left your mouth, unable to comprehend just how much this moment truly proved your feelings towards Dabi.

With a gentle smile on your lips, the slightest pink dusting the corners of your cheeks, you replayed his words over and over like a broken record. The smile on your face growing little by little as you thought of your own parents, who seemingly didn’t want you, just to then have Dabis words replay again and again assuring you there was someone who wanted ‘to be with you just a little more...’

The thought making you leap into his chest for a hug neither of you expected yet both enjoyed. “Uh, you okay Y/N?” He asked, patting you on the head. “Yeah! Can we - Can we just stay like this for a few minutes...please?”

“Sure, doll”

--------------------------------------------------

That was your final interaction with Dabi this morning, shortly after getting up and leaving to go to UA. The moment you closed your door you hoped wholeheartedly you could see him in a few days, unscathed and exactly as you left him.

“Yo, dumbass! Move so I can get off the damn bus.” “Ah Bakugou...always one to ruin the peaceful atmosphere.” You mumble as you grabbed your stuff and got off the bus.

-------------------------------------------------- 

“No more...” you mumble to yourself after the 8 hour trail down the mountain accompanied by some sort of clay beasts. While no one was paying attention, you quickly shot a text to Tomura with your current location. Your mentors for the duration of the camp, the Pussycats, praise you for the job well done and tell everyone to go to the dining hall for dinner and afterwards, take a bath and relax. The bath was a close call thanks to a certain pervert trying to scale the wall but thanks to the Kota he fell flat in the bath with a most endearing cry of pain, making the sadistic side of you giggle.

The next day was all about quirk training. Aizawa explained that everyone has grown emotionally but now was the time to focus on physical growth. Everyone got set up with personalized training, such as Bakugou dunking his hands in boiling water or Sero producing tape nonstop. You got set up with your own training regime and solely focused on that till about 4 PM - with the exception of a few breaks where you decided to snoop around a bit and ask one of the Pussycats if there were going to be more teachers here later on and the next days activities.

After the excruciating training, everyone was given the task of making dinner for the night, that being curry.

You smiled to yourself as you reminisced on the last time you made curry.

-------------------------------------------------- 

You made your way home, exhausted and sore from the sparing session you just had with Dabi. He was merciless but you couldn’t deny the immeasurable help he provided, pushing himself and you past your limits after such a tiring day.

You opened the door to your apartment and set what little ingredients you got on the way back. “So Dabi, what do you want to eat?” You asked, expecting him to ramble on and on about some complicated meals, forcing you to make a whole feast.

“Curry.” The one word response had you looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “That’s it? Just curry?” “Yeah, got a problem with it or something?” He questioned, sitting on the couch with you following shortly. “No, not at all. I was just expecting something...more?” “You want me to name more? Ok, let’s start with-...”

“No, no. Too late now, I’m gonna go make the best damn curry you’ve ever had in your life.” You jump up before he can get a word in and head straight for the kitchen.

He looked at the direction you ran off to, a small smile making it’s way on his face as he thought of the enthusiasm you displayed just to cook some food. He’d never tell you, but the only reason he asked for just curry is because it was easier to make, filling and took less time. He knew you were exhausted, mentally (from the meeting with HandMan) and physically (from your intense training session), so he wanted to lessen the burden. This is when he truly began to care for someone again, to care for their well-being. The thought putting an even bigger smile on his face.

--------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in the distance, on a cliff overlooking the whole forest lay 4 villains. 2 who you were very familiar with, that being Dabi and Toga. The last 2 you’ve never met before (thanks to your decrease in bar visits). One stood tall with a mask covering his face and a cloak covering his whole body from head to toe while the other had some sort of gasmask. 

“Throbbing, it’s throbbing. Let’s hurry up already” The one with a mask covering his face said, antsy to start a fight. “Need I remind you Muscular of the one person you can’t fight?” Dabi asked, turning with a glare towards the said villain. 

“Some (hair color and length) haired bitch with (eye color) eyes, riiight? What does it matter if I fight her? If I just passed her wouldn’t it seem suspicious? How about I break a few bones for good measure?” He taunted with a shit eating grin adorning his face. “Do that and I burn you till there's nothing left, not even ashes...” Dabi answered with full confidence, knowing he could easily cremate him - even with his quirk. 

He scoffed, side-eyeing him. “What’s even the deal with her? Is she your personal slut or something? If she’s here, that means she’s a hero or student right? And I came here to fuck up every hero, present or future.” 

Dabi, just about having enough of his ‘colorful’ language towards you turns but gets cut of by Toga. “Oh don’t be silly, how do you think we know the location of the camp? She’s the traitor amongst them.” 

“Exactly, so we are currently here waiting for her to send a message about tomorrows activities and the attack plan.” Dabi monotonously to everyone he was already forming a plan to keep him as far away from you as possible.

--------------------------------------------------

A new morning dawns and a new day of quirk training begins. Everyone resumed their training like normal except you who was more than visibly nervous thanks to the attack happening this evening at the test of courage. 

By some miracle, you were able to locate a schedule left behind by one of the Pussycats detailing how after dinner there was going to be a test where Class B will try to scare Class A to prove their courage and creatively use their quirks. It seemed like the perfect opportunity given that Bakugou will be with one person in the middle of the woods without any teachers nearby.

When the time came you were paired up with Midoriya to be the last pair to enter the woods.

‘Perfect’ There was no better scenario, you will be able to go to the cabin in no time once the students will be inevitably forbidden to fight unless there was a need for it.

The fifth team, Uraraka and Tsuyu, have just left into the forest leaving you, Midoriya, Ojiro, Mineta, Iida, Koji and the Pussycats.

You’ve sort of isolated yourself from the group because you couldn’t act like everything's fine while in reality you were practically shaking with nerves. The problem was, you weren’t afraid for your well being, you were terrified for Dabis. You knew he was a more than capable fighter since you have sparred with him on more than one occasion but that still did little to ease your nerves.

Just as you were about to question what’s taking them so long you felt a harsh scent of black smoke in the air.

‘Ah, only Dabi can create such a fire to the point of instantly calming my nerves with the warmth it spreads.’ you thought as your attention was brought back by Pixie-bob’s head being smashed into the ground thanks to Magne, and Spinners instantaneous voice breaking the silence.

Game on...

--------------------------------------------------

As instructed by the Pussycats you, Iida, Mineta, Koji and Ojiro ran towards the camp where you would have no other part in this attack. Your nerves for Dabi were hidden by the fact everyone thought it was because of the villains. You no longer needed to hide the fact you were shaking, eyes wide as saucers and slowly tearing up as you ran full speed trying to get away from the situation behind you.

Just a little more

Just a little...

“SENSEI!” The boys yelled for Aizawa the moment they saw the villain he pinned down...the same villain you hopped was far, far away from here...

“D-dabi...” You muttered, way behind anyone to hear as you stopped the moment the clearing came into view. ‘It can’t be...’ The thought of can and can’t leaving your mind the moment his head turned in your direction, making direct eye contact for just a second. In that second you clearly saw Dabis gorgeous teal eyes looking at you as if he didn’t expect you to be here.

You started heaving, chest rising up and down rapidly as you processed the scene in front of you. What was he doing here? You specifically warned him about Aizawa and that he couldn’t possibly fight him one on one. Dabi wasn’t the physical type, he relied on his quirk too much making him unable to fight someone like Aizawa for he would lose fast and hard.

You gulped feeling bile rise to your throat as you thought of your next move. No way...no way were you letting Dabi get caught. It would cost you your cover but you didn’t care. Taking a step closer, you decided to use the element of surprise to shock Aizawa with a simple attack, enough to distract him so you and Dabi could escape.

Before that could happen, Dabi used Aizawas shock at your arrival to get out of his hold and stand up. “This is as much damage as I can take, huh?” What did he mean by...that?

“Hey hero...” The capturing weapon gets tighter around him until it goes right threw him, revealing that the Dabi Aizawa was fighting was nothing more than a clone. “Are your students important?” He asked whilst looking at him straight in the eyes and disappearing into nothing but some brown sludge on the ground.

You couldn’t believe it...you almost blew your cover for a fucking clone...

--------------------------------------------------

“Ah, dollface what took you so long?” Dabi asks as you enter the bar in full disguise - a hood covering your hair and a mask covering 3/4 of your face. It’s a pretty simple porcelain mask covering the top half of your face and half of your mouth with a complex pattern around the eyes. You even bought a voice-changer for this specific ‘guest’ of yours so he wouldn’t recognize you.

“Had some trouble after the mission” You answered, your voice (deeper/higher) than normal and a bit more mature-sounding. You walked up to Bakugou, chained to the chair like some sort of animal, examining for any injuries received during the attack. He lowly growled his disapproval for your proximity and told you to back off, which you complied to. Stepping to the farthest corner of the room away from everyone else you sat there while Tomura had a chat with him.

After a while it got extremely boring just hearing constant ‘join us’ and ‘no’-s. “What’s got you so moody doll? You haven’t even said hi.” Dabi whispered as he leaned on the wall close to you.

“Nothing Dabi, I’m just not in the mood to talk.” Was your only response as you got up and made your way to the back of the bar. “Say, Bakugou-kun. Do you want anything to eat? Drink? You haven’t had anything in a while now, and the situation surely can’t be helping that”

“I don’t want anything your shitty ass makes, it would probably taste like crap anyways.” As if on cue, his stomack faintly growls signaling his obvious hunger. You rolled your eyes taking the simple sandwich you made to stand in front of him.

“Look Bakugou-kun. You can either eat this sandwich you watched me make so you could be assured I didn’t spike it, or you can sit there hungry until you starve. Your choice.” “And how am I supposed to eat with my hand completely restrained dumbass?”

“Aaw, does the baby want me to feed him then?” “FUCK NO YOU CUNT!” You giggled to yourself, amused at how Bakugou could be in this situation yet be so feisty at the same time.

During the whole conversation Dabi looked at you and him spitefully. So you didn’t want to talk to him yet you can joke with the brat like it’s second nature? He fumed on the inside yet kept quite as Shigaraki had something to say.

“That’s enough out of you (villain name). Leave it at the table and sit down.” You huffed yet complied as you sat in your previous position near Dabi. “So what was that about?” He tried to ask, emotionless as ever. “What was what about?” You ask, avoiding his burning gaze at the side of your face.

“That? You refuse to speak to me and immediately after hang around the brat as if he were your boyfriend. Mind telling me what I did so wrong for this sort of treatment?” It was subtle, but you could detect a hint of annoyance in his voice. This made you angrier and more annoyed than you previously were. What right did he have to be upset with you?

“Oh, I don’t know Dabi.” You sarcastically said as his name dripped like poison from your lips. “Maybe it was the fact you didn’t bother to tell me you had Twice make clones to distract Eraser. Or the fact I almost blew my cover trying to rescue a goddamn clone!” You whisper shouted, making sure no one but him caught the last part.

Meanwhile Tomura was giving Bakugou some speech about how corrupt hero society really is. You didn’t really pay attention thanks to the anger slowly boiling in your veins towards the man in front of you.

“Is that all? Really? You’re an idiot if you planned to do something as stupid as try to help ‘me’ escape, even if that wasn’t a clone.” His jealousy and anger ranting before the logical side of his brain could speak as he glared at you with anger, confusion and a hint of sadness. “I didn’t know you were going to retreat back to the camp. For all I knew, you were around the explosive kid over there. Was that why you were so apposed to this mission, you didn’t want us kidnapping your little boyfriend and him finding out the truth?”

Taken aback you do nothing but look at him as Tomura says to let Bakugou go (his order not reaching your ears because of your own conversation). He ignored him and simply told Twice to do it as he was still expecting an answer from you.

“I can’t believe it...you know full well why I rejected this plan and it was NOT for something so - so implausible.” You shake your head as your voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

“And what do you mean that’s all? I was scared for you, I actually believed you went to fight Eraser on your own. I wanted to help you because I care for you, I couldn’t possibly see you behind bars knowing I could’ve prevented it!”

“I never asked for you to care for me!” He didn’t even let you finish your little rant, slowly loosing what little patience he had, his calm-ish charade cracking. “There is no reason why you would waste your time with that and risk all the time you put into...infiltrating them.” He whispered the last part as he noticed several eyes drawn to the conversation.

“No...reason?” You looked at him in disbelief “Of course there’s a reason! I could never NOT care for you” Your voice, along with you agitation, slowly went higher as the sentence continued. “WHY? Why would you care enough to risk everything?!” He followed your lead, voice getting louder.

“BECAUSE I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

...

You could literally hear a pin drop at the end of your outburst. Everyone looked at you two. Even Shigaraki, who was now in front of an unrestrained Bakugou - who took advantage of the moment and set off an explosion right in his face, causing ‘father’ to be knocked off.

Everyone looked mortified, you most of all for both your outburst and the new development in Bakugous case, knowing that he was most likely going to get killed now.

“My bad for ruining the moment but I’ve listened to his endless talking long enough. Idiots can’t get to the point so they’re always talking for a long time. Basically you mean ‘We wanna harass people, so please join us,’ right?”

Oh he was soo fucked.

But what surprised you the most was the fact Shigaraki didn’t attack. No, he even ordered to not even touch him. Was this really Shigaraki? In any other situation he would instantly decay any person that dares touch ‘father’ let alone knock him off his face. He just calmly picked up ‘father’, placed it on his face and continued to talk. Has he...matured?

You though in complete disbelief, forgetting your outburst from a minute ago. But the person beside you refused to look away from your side profile, even to see Shigarakis next actions.

‘In love’ being the only phrase in his mind.

While there was a stare down happening between Shigaraki and Bakugou, a knock sounded from the door.

“Hello, this is Pizza-La, Camino store.”

You raised an eyebrow in suspicion as you looked around the room. “The fuck? Who ordered piz-...”

You weren’t even able to finish you question when a loud and obnoxious “SMAAASH!” was heard throughout the bar as, low and behold, All Might comes crashing threw the wall, throwing debris in every which direction making it impossible to see for a few seconds due to the dust that came along with it.

Those few seconds proved incredibly important as you weren’t able to see a piece of brick flying straight for your face, cracking your mask almost down the middle, barely keeping itself up at that point. The breeze that accompanied almost threw your hood down but thankfully Dabi was there to secure it into place. You looked at him, being reminded of your earlier mistake but quickly focused on the battle as Kamui Woods came next and captured everyone.

As Dabi was focusing on setting the trees on fire he didn’t notice Gran Torino who instantly knocked him out with a single kick. You screamed out his name, your voice-changer not functioning as your scream cracked in the middle, revealing your real voice for a second.

When Kurohiri tried to summon the Nomu waiting in the secret location, he was unable to teleport them as they seemed to be missing from their usual spot. Next he tried to teleport everyone out but was promptly knocked out by Edgeshot who seemed prepared for his next move.

‘No’...You were surrounded, unable to lift a finger and your mask slowly cracking and sliding down your face. ‘What now..think Y/N, think...’

“Didn’t I tell you earlier that it’d be in your best interest to stay put?” Gran Torino said as he began calling out every villain in the bar.

...Kenji Hikiiski

...Atsuhiro Sako

...Shuicki Iguchi

...Himiko Toga

...Jin Bubaigawara

You waited with bated breath...waited for your own name to be called out, maybe even Dabis but that’s where the list ended. ‘That’s it? That means they don’t know who I am just yet.’ The ray of hope diminishing the moment you realized the condition of your mask, as soon as it falls off every single person in the room will know your identity. Your heartbeat began to pick up it’s pace, panic setting in.

You looked around the room, trying to think of something...anything! that could possibly help in this situation. Your focus breaking the moment Tomura shouted ‘I hate you’ towards the no.1 hero.

Grayish-black liquid encompassed everyone in the bar, including yourself. ‘The Hell?! What is this?’ You thought panicking even more until Tomura mumbled on word.

‘Master?’ You questioned...MASTER, OF COURSE!

Relief set in at the thought of master saving you, looking over at Dabi you couldn’t help the serene close of your eyes the moment you saw him getting teleported as well. Thank God.

--------------------------------------------------

You fell to the ground with a thud as you looked at your surroundings. Everyone was here, including Bakugou, with master standing in the front speaking to Tomura. You quickly looked around spotting Dabi on the ground, laying still unconscious.

Quickly picking yourself of the ground you made your way to Dabi, picking his head up and laying it on your thighs so he could be somewhat comfortable, even if he wasn’t awake yet. However, you felt your mask cracking completely and falling to the ground. You quickly set your gaze downwards before Bakugou could get a look at your face, thankfully he seemed to be preoccupation with starring at master, a quite intimidating man who, by the looks of it, defeated 3 pro’s by himself, including the no.4 hero Best Jeanist.

Discreetly, you tugged on Mr. Compresses pant leg. “Atsuhiro, I know this isn’t the best time to ask, but could you give me your mask?” You ask whilst taking a peak at him to show him your mask completely broke.

“Of course, Y/N. Here.” He whispered back, handing you his mask. You mumbled your thanks as you looked at master who was having his own monologue.

“You’re here, after all, aren’t you?” ‘Oh for fucks sake, it isn’t over yet?’

Like an instant headache, All Might comes swooping in from the sky, attacking master instantly. Toga comes to you, protecting you since you couldn’t use your quirk with All Might and Bakugou here...plus the few uninvited guests behind a wall of debris. This just got a whole lot more interesting.

You let Atsuhiro use his quirk on Dabi whilst you took the pearl, securing it in your small weapons carrier you had for these types of situations. As instructed, everyone began attacking Bakugou hopping to recapture him.

While you were in the air thanks to some attack strategies you planned out with the rest a while back, you noticed Midoriya, Kirishima, Iida and Todoroki getting ready to execute some sort of plan to get to Bakugou. You landed just in time to see them propell themselves using Midoriyas quirk and then using Iidas boosters on Todorokis ice to fly high and fast. Kirishima yelled for Bakugou to come to them - which he did.

Ah, a truly brilliant strategy to save Bakugou whilst not engaging in head to head battle. You noticed Todoroki and Yaoyorozu making a quick escape but only smirked as you watched them leave. A sort of apology from you to them.

Since there was no longer a reason to stay, master urged us to leave, forcing Magnes unconscious body to propel every male towards you and Himiko, who were conveniently placed in front of the portal he forced Kurogiri to make a few minutes prior.

‘Well, this is gonna hurt’ You thought as 3 guys came crashing into you full force.

--------------------------------------------------

Dabi suddenly awoke with a searing headache, he couldn’t focus on his surroundings let alone remember what happened the moment prior to him pacing out.

“Good morning, here are some painmeds if the headache gets worse and the water is next to the bed on the table. I’ll be coming back every hour to check up on you, so don’t worry, get some rest and sleep it off.” You quickly mumbled as you noticed Dabi was finally awake after a few hours of taking care of him and non-stop worrying. Before he could make sense of the situation, you quickly left the room to go God knows where.

As he was left alone for a few seconds he finally remembered what happened a few hours prior, the old geezer of a hero knocked him out when he was about to burn the restraints off everyone. He looked around the room, noticing he was in a unfamiliar surrounding. A black blanket covering his form, a small work desk not even 2 meters away from him and a wardrobe on the opposite end of the room.

After analyzing his surrounding he remembered your brief words to him before your departure, everything slowly falling into place. He got injured so you took him to your apartment and cared for him until he awoke.

He also remembered your last conversation, or rather confession. He knew he needed to go to you and make sense of the whole situation but he was unable to get off the bed as he felt something restraining his left arm.

Handcuffs - kinky, but currently not appreciated.

--------------------------------------------------

For the past 2 hours you’ve been in the kitchen making all sorts of dishes just to pass the time and make up excuses not to go to your room. It’s been fun while it lasted but you couldn’t avoid this any more, what ere you going to do? Starve him to avoid him?

You made your way to the room, a millimeter away from the doorknob, second-guessing this whole thing. You turned around to leave and buy yourself another hour but a voice was heard on the other side of the door.

“You know, it’s quite rude to say you’ll be back in an hour and then leave for 2.”

‘Fuck’ was your sole thought as you entered the room, completely unaware of his expression as you looked to the foot of the bed, avoiding his gaze as much as possible.

“Sorry...the food took a bit more time to prepare than I thought” You mumbled as you made your way to the table near his bed, placing everything neatly and getting ready to leave.

As you turned around he grabbed you with his left arm, stopping you in your tracks. “You know we need to talk dollface.” He said as he pulled you a little closer to the bed.

“What’s there to talk about Dabi? I made a fool of myself in front of the whole League and practically yelled something neither of us was ready to hear... - wait” You exclaimed as soon as you noticed something was off. “Didn’t I cuff your left hand to the bed-?”

As soon as the thought left you he yanked you completely onto the bed, trapping you between himself and the mattress. Comfortably straddling your legs and cuffing both of your arms, in record time, to the bed frame so you couldn't struggle.

“ThE Hell are you DOing?” Your voice comes out as a shriek due to the immense surprise you felt in that predicament.

“Dabi, gEt off! You’re heavy and this is NOT the time to tease me” Tears formed in your eyes and your cheeks felt as if they were on fire, your struggling coming to an end once you realized he wasn’t budging. You gazed at his face, biting your tongue in anticipation for his next move.

He moved even closer if that was possible, looking at you straight in the eyes as your breath caught in your throat.

“What do you mean ‘you think’ you’re in love with me?”

Being caught off guard by the unexpected question, you just dumbly hummed a quiet ‘huh?’

“You said it earlier loud and clear, ‘I think I’m in love with you’, are you not sure Y/N?” The moment he used your real name instead of doll or dollface, you knew he was completely serious, no hint of sarcasm or malice laced in his voice as he kept on starring at your wide eyes.

His eyes encouraged you, silently begging for an answer as you moved your gaze away from him - a distraught look on your face.

“I...don’t know...” He slowly backed off, ready to get off you at your short response. “I get it...” But you continued before he could uncuff you and leave.

“I don’t know what it’s like to love someone! I- I have never had parental love, no friends and I certainly don’t know what it’s like to have romantic feelings since no one ever knew me and fully accepted me for me!” You quickly responded with your eyes closed, fearing his expression.

“Every time someone tried to talk to me I immediately thought ‘What if they find out I’m a villain, what if they don’t listen to my reasoning and stab me in the back the moment I turn around?’ I’m afraid of people abandoning me as soon as it gets dangerous! I can’t go threw that, not again!“ You quietly sob as one of your eyes opened, unable to see Dabi clearly threw the tears.

“But not you, you protected me and cared for me. I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want you to hate me. I love it when you break into my apartment, I love it when you eat with me, I love it when you train with me, I love it when you accidentally fall asleep on me, I love your perverted comments and even your complaints,

I love YOU Dabi!”

You finished, finally looking at him straight in the eyes to make your point clear.

“That’s stupid” was his only response as he leaned backwards, sitting upright with a look you couldn’t describe. Baffled, you were unable to respond, feeling empty. You wish you could cry but you stared at him unblinkingly, asking why he thought it was ‘stupid’.

“You say I know everything important in your life, your past, your present. And you’re right. I care for you deeply, more than I’d like to admit, I want for you to succeed, I want you to be happy because of all I know about you. But that doesn’t go both ways.” You could only stare at him as he continued his monologue.

“ I have a lot more baggage than you’re ready for, doll. You claim to love me when you know nothing about me, not even my name.”

“So let me get to know you.” Was your simple answer. “You’re right, I don’t know your past but I do know you now. You’re a firm believer in Stains ideology, you prefer spicy over sweet and you snore when you sleep.” You giggle at the end, remembering the first time you were there when he slept.

“I know there’s a lot I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to put in the effort to try. I want to get to know you Dabi and I want to help carry that baggage you so desperately need help with, that is, if you’re willing to give me a chance?”

“I was hoping you’d say something so cheesy.”  Without missing a beat, his lips smashed ageings yours with fervor and a clear goal in mind to show you just how much he cares.

The different texture creating an almost intoxicating feeling, but of course, a simple peck was no good in his book. He tugged at your bottom lip as you complied almost instantly. His tongue invaded your mouth, creating incredible friction with his tongue piercing you didn’t know he had.

The longer the kiss lasted the faster his hands started roaming your body, every dip and every curve being explored with his abnormally warm hands. You wanted nothing more than to return the favor but unfortunately your hands were tied to the bed and no matter how much you struggled you couldn’t get free.

“D-Dabi...” You said in between impossibly short breaks he took for air. “Uncuff me, hah, I want- I want to touch you too.” You pleaded with a fog in your eyes, not being able to focus on anything other than the man in front of you - who situated himself between your legs during your little request.

“Not a chance doll, do you know what you did to me every time you teased me, even as a joke? Well now it’s payback time.” He finished whilst simultaneously sliding your shirt up to your hands, revealing your chest clad in nothing but a deep purple bra.

He went straight for your neck with a goal to leave the biggest and darkest mark humanly possible. He bit down, sucked and licked every surface your neck had to offer, leaving a few dark bruises in his wake. He bit down particularly hard on a spot just bellow your collarbone, breaking your silence as you let out a barely audible gasp and mewl.

He thrived on the thought that you didn’t mind some pain with your pleasure, smirking sadistically as you tried to ignore the hard-on that was pressing against your thigh. But the more you wiggled and squirmed the more prominent the bulge got, pressing higher and higher.

His hands move stealthily, agonizingly slowly against your chest and over to the back where he proceeded to remove it by burning the straps off. His knuckles barely brush against your now bare nipples as he eased his way down, truly a tease. He took a moment to look at your eyes, piercing blue staring at crystal (eye color). His eyes displayed nothing but dominance and a need for pure, white hot pleasure, you’d shiver if it wasn’t for the overbearing heat coming from his body and actions.

He smiles lazily, his hands withdrawing completely and to your sides where he leans a bit over you to look at you straight in the eyes.

“Tell me princess, what do you want next?” He husks right into your ear as you put no thought in your answer. “Anything, I don’t care what you do just as long as you make me come.”

“That’s not very specific doll, use your words and pick one - tongue or fingers” He situated himself back between your legs, taking off your shorts and (not so subtly) stares at your matching lingerie, taking in the dark spot with an ever growing smirk. “How about both?”

“Now that’s an answer I like.” His palms slowly drag up your calves as he places kisses along your thighs, getting closer and closer to the spot you wanted, needed the most. His fingers inch up higher and higher, under your lingerie, kneading the flesh of your ass. His tongue trails along your lower lips, getting only a taste of what’s to come.

You roll your hips to meet the sway of his tongue, feeling his fingers slide between the straps of your underwear, dragging it down in one quick movement. “Dabi...” You try to distract him from his starring as he lowers his head, immediately lapping up the slick that accumulated during his previous ministrations. You moan his name again, albeit louder than you previously thought you could.

He pokes his tongue against your entrance, slowly entering you with the mission to taste as much as his tongue would allow him. You’re moans increasing in volume once his tongue left your entrance and decided to tease your swollen bundle of nerves just above it.

What you weren’t prepared for was a singe digit making it’s way to your entrance, going in knuckle deep on the first go. “Fuck” You half moaned, half whined. You weren’t used to such an intrusion, his fingers being much larger and much longer than your own. You couldn’t deny the pleasure that started accumulating the more he moved his finger at an unforgiving pace and lapped up your clit as if it was the last time he could.

As time passed he added more fingers until he finally got to 3. By that time, the coil slowly building up was ready to burst and make for an unimaginable orgasm. You were moaning his name as if it was the only word you knew which, for the moment, wasn’t incorrect.

The moment he felt your walls constricting he quickly got up, leaving you empty and needy. He was even cruel enough to hold your legs apart so you wouldn’t even be able to rub your thighs together, he only watched as your walls tightened around nothing.

“Dabi, you jackass!” was your only reply, along with whines of protest as he got up and undressed himself completely - making a little show of his last piece of garment. Your whines and complaints instantly getting caught in your throat as you looked at the picture-perfect image in front of you. His scars perfectly contrasting his healthy skin. Your eyes wondering lower and lower until you got to the godly sight of his fully erect and weeping with precum cock. Drool practically pooling at the back of your throat as you looked at the image before you. His cock wasn’t really anything special when it came to length, but the part that got you wide eyed was the sheer girth of it and the Jacob’s ladder running from the base to the tip accompanied with a prince albert piercing at the very tip of his manhood.

“Aren’t you glad you waited Y/N? Would you have rather came around my fingers or around my cock?” He teased, fully aware of your sole concentration on his girth. “Say, I’m getting a little dizzy doll, how ‘bout you take the lead?” You  fervently nodded your head, eager to have him fully sheathed inside you, not carrying about the position as long as you could get off. “Good girl” was his only response as he took the handcuffs off you.

Without missing a beat you grabbed him by the shoulders, flipping your positions and setting his back against the headboard so you could comfortably straddle his lap. He tried to tease you about your neediness but ultimately failed as you ground your hips against him, making you both sigh in a short lived relief. It felt like an explosion behind your eyes, getting all the confidence you needed just from his faint growls.

His chest is pressed against yours, nipples rubbing on rough skin creating friction almost too much to bare. Fuck, you really needed more.Your heart pounds against your ribcage, creating an almost painful sensation as you start another lewd kiss, teeth clashing and tongues meeting in the middle.

His hand lands on your hip, the other teasing your folds apart as you get ready for the main event. The tip presses against your entrance, piercing creating an indescribable feeling as you slowly descent. You can feel yourself heavily breathing, pussy throbbing at the stretch of his girth.

Obviously he had a hard time keeping still as he almost breaks the skin of his lips. ‘No more waiting’ was your single though as you began a faster pace, bouncing on his cock, feeling stretched beyond belief. At the first sign of your pleasure, he began slamming upwards, matching the descent of your hips. You were sure the vice like grip he had on your hips would leave pretty noticeable marks but that was currently the last of your problems.

The feeling of his piercings rubbing against your velvety walls accompanied by the undeniable pleasure you felt as he hit the deepest spots inside of you was enough to make you moan akin to a pornstar. The look on your face, the sounds you made and the feeling of your iron tight grip had him slamming you faster, harder.

“FucK, Dabi! I-I want to come! So, sO badly” you’re moaning, mumbling words of praise to the man beneath you. He doesn’t react much except for quite, deep groans. But you didn’t mind at all, attaching your lips once more for a short kiss as you continued moaning his name like a broken record.

Your mouth doesn’t stop trembling as you scream out a final ‘Dabi’, collapsing into his chest as he continues chasing his own high. He pulls out, finishing in his hand and a little bit of it ending on your lower back, neither of you minding as he quickly cleans it and lays on his side with you comfortably in his arms, facing away from him.

“I love you Dabi, I truly do.” were your final words as you closed your eyes. What you didn’t expect was for him to continue.

“Touya...call me Touya”

You were confused for a second until you realized ‘Ah, that must be his real name.’ You wished to continue the conversation, but the exhaustion finally hit you all at once so you were only able to mumble a quite ‘Allright, I love you Touya...’

He wasn��t sure if you heard him when he said ‘I love you too Y/N’ but that didn’t matter now. He could say it all he wants from now on.

[personasintro]

My Tiny Secret | 03; Audacity

𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 03; Audacity

⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.

⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader

⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut

⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: toxic relationship, smut, mistress au, mentions of sex

⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙

It’s one of those days when you’re alone in Hoseok’s apartment, eating olives which are your daily essential due to your pregnancy cravings. Unfortunately, as much as you don’t want to be alone, you know Hoseok still needs to pay the bills. The guilt is creeping out again, knowing you’re not helping to him and as many times he says you’re not, you know you’re just being a burden.

So most of the week you feel lonely, besides the occasional calls from your mother or Hoseok’s messages checking up on you.

You’re six months pregnant and you already feel big, despite of the small bump hidden behind your, or Hoseok’s, large t-shirts he borrowed you. Or more like gave you, since you can’t find yourself wearing anything else, other than the amazing stretchy material that is so soft against your skin.

Insecurity comes very easily with pregnancy, especially with your body changing and adjusting to the baby growing up in your womb. The hormones are huge part of it as well, making you overreact and overthink everything that’s not even that big of a deal. You can’t help it.

You really hoped your hormones would act differently, but you ended up being a huge cry baby that cries against Hoseok’s shoulder every night. Maybe that’s why you’ve taken an early maternity leave, due all the stress you feel. Even now, you feel like you’ve no right to say or even think that. Stress? Hoseok takes care of everything. Your mother is trying to help as much as she can, but it’s hard when she leaves further away and can’t not be there with you. Maybe you should just leave from Seoul, go back to your small hometown and be the center of a gossip about a woman who got knocked up.

Just as a small tear is ready to escape from your watery eyes, there’s a faint knock coming from the front door.

Has Hoseok ordered something again?

You lost the count of how many times he ordered some new shoes and clothes, but you don’t mind picking it up that often. It means he still has some money to spend on himself, instead of taking care of you and your unborn baby.

Mindlessly, which is a stupid thing of you to do, you open the door without checking who’s standing behind it. And you so damn wish it’d be just one of the delivery guys, but your jaw drops once you look at the tall man. He hasn't changed a bit, and you wouldn’t even find a single wrinkle if you tried to. He wears his dress shirt with black slacks and you know he must be working today.

So why the hell is Kim Seokjin standing in front of your, Hoseok’s, front door?

The last time you saw him was in the shop, where he found out about your secret that you were hiding from him. Luckily, he never contacted you again and you thought, you’ll be able to forget he even existed. Until now.

He gifted you with his presence, eyes staring at you which causes your breath to hitch and you hate how much reaction he’s getting. His eyes follow to your stomach, almost as if questioning you before he looks back.

“Can we talk?”

He’s the first one that speaks up, your shock swallowing you whole as you dryly gulp, gripping the doorknob harder.

“I’ve nothing to talk to you about.” you tell him sassily, straightening yourself to show your confidence which you’re desperately trying to find.

One of the things you wish the most, is to be confident in front of him since the beginning. You showed him your weakness, welcoming him with opened arms when you knew he’s never going to treat you like he should or how you wanted to. You were just a fling to him, someone who can fill the cravings of pleasure for him.

His dark eyes drops to your belly, that’s peeking underneath Hoseok’s oversized t-shirt and you wish you would put at least some kind of sweater. But you know even then, he’d be able to make out the baby bump. It’s not like you can hide it anymore.

“I don’t think that’s quite the truth.” he tells you, his velvety and raspy voice echoing in the hall and you quickly peek your head out to check, if someone hears you.

You don’t need any gossips going around. It’s already enough that the old lady next door thinks, you and Hoseok are together. You never told her the truth, partly because you were ashamed for being pregnant and that you live with your best friend who’s taking care of you. But just when you were about to kindly correct her, Hoseok stopped you. He told you it’s fine and you don’t have to explain anyone anything.

“Get out.” you glare at him, trying to intimidate him but instead of an amused grin, like he always used to react, he stares at you so blankly with emptiness in his eyes.

It makes your stomach uncomfortably shiver because that’s how he looks like. He looks empty. Emotionless even.

“No,” he says simply, acting as if he owns this place. Gosh, you hope he doesn’t. “I want to talk to you about... the baby.” he mutters, his tone dangerously dropping at the mention of the small bundle in your womb.

You don’t know why though. Maybe it’s his secret as well and he doesn’t want anyone to find out about his slip, or he just doesn’t want to upset you talking about the baby. Knowing him, it’s probably the first. There’s no way he takes your feelings into any consideration, since he stands in front of you, not leaving you or the baby alone.

“What baby?” you ask dumbfounded, blinking at him as he only raises a brow in response. “You don’t have any baby.”

He doesn’t like that. The way he frowns, his plump lips in a straight line is enough to tell you that he feel irritated.

There you go. Pointing that it’s only your baby again. You’re being defensive again. It’s not like you don’t have a reason to be like that.

“Don’t do this,” he breathes, an exhausted sigh pushing past his plushy and juicy lips that shimmer with the lip balm he likes to use. You give him questioning look, despite of the glare you send him. “Don’t act like this baby is only yours.”

“Because it is.” you tell him simply with a light shrug, protectively touching your belly.

As on cue, the baby boy inside your womb decides to kick and you scrunch your face for a few seconds, before it goes back to glaring at the man in front of you.

“No, it’s not and you know it. I’m so sick of this bullshit. You act like it’s only your kid and I’ve my own rights.” he frowns, his tone raising to an octave higher and you pray no one is earsdropping your conversation.

“You do,” you tell him and by the sudden raise of his thick brows, you know you caught him off guard. “But I’m doing what’s best for him. And I’m sorry, but you’re just a piece of an asshole who can’t treat anyone with respect. I don’t want my baby’s father to be like that.”

He doesn’t seem to be taken back by your insults, almost as if he was expecting it anyway. It’s hard to tell. This is Kim Seokjin we’re talking about.

“You don’t even know what kind of father I’d be. You didn’t give me a chance.” he speaks with low tone.

Is that a accusation you hear in his voice?

“You—“

“Before you curse at me, can we discuss this in private? I don’t really want anyone to interfere into our business.” he cuts you off, head turning to the left before he looks back at you.

You want to curse at him, but you hear footsteps of one of the neighbors who lives next door. “Pff, our business,” you scoff, arms crossing over your chest as you bitterly chuckle at him, “Fine. I’m giving you five minutes. Then you’re out.” you snap.

He doesn’t seem to be nowhere near surprised by your attitude, so he nods. “Fine by me.” he mutters bitterly before he steps inside of Hoseok’s home.

Closing the door, you quickly greet curious neighbor which is a older lady in her forties, who seems to be captivated by Seokjin. Well, you’re not surprised. Seokjin has a weird aura around him, captivating others’ eyes without even trying. She probably wonders what a man like him, is doing here.

Turning around, you see him looking around, probably judging the modesty Hoseok’s home holds. The apartment is nice, definitely too small for a family with a kid, but it’s enough. It’s modern and clean. For a moment, Seokjin just looks around while puzzled look is plastered on his face and you wonder what he’s thinking.

This is nothing compared to his fancy house. He’s probably thinking that.

“So? Clock is ticking.” you speak out, your voice holding distance and distaste which he doesn’t fail to notice.

He chuckles, looking down at his black boots. “I forgot how sharp your tongue can be.”

You’re not sure whether it was aimed at you, or he’s just talking to himself since his eyes are focused downwards. But you don’t react because there is no reason to. You’d just tell him something bitterly and you both would end up fighting. You just want him gone. You hate how weak you feel in his presence. It’s like you’re just dirt next to him.

“How far along are you?” he asks, eyes scanning Hoseok’s frames on the wall.

There are couple of pictures with you, way before you even met Seokjin. Probably the best stage in your life; when you didn’t know who Kim Seokjin is.

“You probably know that, so why are you asking?” you scoff, knowing he has his special ways of getting private informations.

It’s illegal and you could easily sue whoever got him that information, but he could literally heard it from anywhere. There is no proof and you’re not the type to go to court and deal with another drama.

“Because Y/N, I want to hear it from you.” he says your name with added edge to it.

You’ve the urge to tell him to fuck off for many reasons and you want nothing more than actually do it, but you stop yourself. If you answer him, it’s possible he’ll leave sooner.

“Seven months,” you dryly answer him. “Now, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Once again, he’s not surprised by your explicit language and your attitude. Back in the day, he’d put you in your place, letting you know he doesn’t appreciate your bratty attitude. But it’s all history now. You’re not his to touch anymore, but you never were his to begin with.

“You never change,” he tsks with his tongue, bitterly chuckling as your patience is running low. He can’t get it through his thick skull that you don’t want him here. “Can’t we just talk like two civil adults?”

He’s making you seem like you’re the one who’s acting irrationally, mentally laughing at you and it makes you feel so small.

“Now you want to be a civil adult? Weird, I thought you’re just fucking liar and nowhere near civil.” you bitterly laugh, even though your heart cracks.

This is not good for you, or your baby but you can’t help it. This is your defensive mechanism, insulting him for all the hurt he caused you.

“Y/N...” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looks almost disappointed.

What was he expecting? That you’d welcome him with opened arms? Or spread your legs? That’s what you all were to him anyway.

“How’s your wife, Seokjin?” you ask him, his eyes snapping to yours.

He still looks cold, intimidating even as he simply just stares at you. His jaw clenches, a warning for you to shut up but you won’t.

“Does she know you’ve been fucking a different woman in your bed? Or more women that aren’t here?” you ask him, your tone laced with hatred you feel towards him.

Who knows how many women he had, when the two of you were intimate.

“It was only you, you know that.”

If you knew him better, you’d say he actually sounds defeated. And for the first time, you see his cold face crack and there is a hidden emotion on his face, you can’t point your finger at.

“No, actually I don’t. Because I don’t trust you and you’re the biggest liar I’ve ever met. May I remind you the fact, that you never mentioned that you’re married? If I haven’t found out about it completely randomly, you’d lie to me to till this day.”

Your voice grows stronger every minute, you don’t know what it causes it but you’re not complaining.

You remember that night when he forgot to hide his wedding ring from you, not even denying it once you asked him about it.

‘So what? Does it matter? We’re only fucking anyway.’

That’s what he told you back then, hurting you for the hundredth time.

“Does she know, you knocked up some slut?”

You’d never call yourself that, no matter how much you felt like it every time you came back home from his place. Scrubbing your skin as if you were dirty, but you always came back to him. Because even with his personality, you still found something to like about him. You don’t know what, you just know you always liked him more than he did. Because despite of the kisses, a simple act of pleasure, he never showed you any kind of love.

He frowns for some reason and you don’t think about it, not anymore. You don’t know him.

“She knew,” he speaks with confidence, despite of your previous words which don’t affect him. “She knows.” It’s all he says, your mouth drops open with dumbfounded look.

“What?”

“She knew I had someone. We had an open relationship. She had someone as well.” he simply explains, revealing something from his life for the first time. Something deeper and more personal.

She knew? An open relationship?

“Gosh, you’re both fucked up.” you tell him with disgust in your voice. You feel like you’re going to throw up any second.

“Aren’t we all?” he asks simply causing you to shoot him a glare.

He’s definitely fucked up.

“She knows you’re pregnant.” he continues, speaking freely which surprises you but you only frown.

“Did she know who I was when we met--“

“No, she didn’t,” he cuts you off, knowing what you’re asking.

Gosh, if she knew, God knows what would she do. Well, since they’re in opened relationship she wouldn’t hurt you. Right? Technically, she’s fine with it.

“It doesn’t matter. She knows now, I told her.”

You don’t know how to react to that. She knows you’re having a baby with Seokjin. That probably wasn’t a part of their deal about opened relationship. She probably hates you right now.

“Well, it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t need to be afraid. You’re not going to be a father.” you tell him, silently aiming about him not being in the baby’s life.

By the frown, he most likely knows what you’re talking about.

“That’s why I’m here,” he coughs into his fist, before he gently swipes his dark hair away from his forehead. “You see, me and my wife are married for seven years and for the past seven years, we had no luck. So naturally, we went to see a couple of professional doctors to know where’s the problem. They found out, one of us is most likely infertile. At first, for some reason I thought it’s me but then they found out, it’s my wife who can’t get pregnant. I need an heir,” your breath hitches.

Why is he telling you this? Where is he going with this? Maybe, just maybe he’s desperate to be a father since he can’t be with his own wife. But then he mentioned about him needing an heir and you’re sure, he wants a baby just so someone could take over the huge company his father has built. But is it really like that? You don’t see inside of his head and you grow more confused every second he talks.

“We thought about adopting, but, it never will be my blood.”

And the second he ends his small talk, you feel like you’re going to throw up all the olives you ate. You can feel it in your throat as you’re forced to swallow it, your legs shaking.

“A-are you trying to, you, you want this baby to yourself?” you stutter, your voice shaking.

Not from shock, but from anger and shock. You always knew he’s a piece of shit, but you never knew he’s this big of an asshole.

“Just say how much.”

Your body reacts on its own, surprising you as well once your palm meets the soft skin of his cheek. His head snaps to the right, his jaw flexing as he deadly stares into the space.

“Get the fuck out.” you tell him through your clenched teeth, your arms shaking because fuck, you just slapped him.

He deserves it.

He slowly meets your eyes, his cheek slightly red from your hand but even now, you don’t feel and satisfaction. Maybe you should’ve punched him with your fist.

“You’ve barely any money to live on your own. How are you going to take care of a child?”

There he goes again. Reminding you that you’re no one with no money.

“You don’t have to care about that. I’ll care about him just fine.” you hiss at him but he remains to look unfazed.

“It’s my child as well.” he reminds you causing you to scoff.

“Like the hell it is!” you exclaim, your voice loudly booms between the walls of Hoseok’s home. “You’ve the audacity to come here and ask me to leave my unborn baby, just so you could have an heir. Gosh, you’re so fucking disgusting!” you yell at him, tears pooling in your already red eyes as you punch his chest.

He doesn’t shield himself from your arms, hitting his hard chest, while he stands tall and takes it. A loud sob escapes your lips and you wonder what have you done wrong in your previous life, to deserve this.

“I know I’m an asshole, but I don’t want this baby in my life just to have an heir. I’m pretty aware that you won’t raise a kid with me,”

He’s damn right about that.

“I thought considering your financial problem, I could help you. And me and my wife--“

You don’t even bring yourself to scoff, your blurry vision making it hard as you already threw your confidence away.

“You and your wife can go fuck yourselves,” you bark, his brows dangerously drops down as he glares at you. “I don’t--“

A gasp leaves your mouth, your hands automatically holding your swollen belly as your face scrunches in hurt. The baby is kicking and the high pressure you must be having right now, isn’t helping. Your vision gets blurry for a split second, your head spinning as you almost stumble on your shaky legs. Surprisingly, Seokjin is there to hold you, arms securely wrapping around your petite frame.

“Fuck, are you okay?” he breathes out, your nose digging into his dress shirt that smells just like you remember. It’s muscular but sweet and light scent.

“I’m fine, he’s just kicking.” you murmur, your eyes shutting as you feel the movements in your womb.

You’re taken back by the fact, that you actually answered him with no hatred in your voice, your attention solely focused on the baby inside of you.

He gently pulls you away, his eyes searching your face as stare at him with doe eyes. It’s weird, because you never really had a moment like this. His deep brown eyes gaze at you, before he looks down.

“Can I?” he asks, eyes purposely not meeting yourself as they stay on your bump.

It’s a simple question, but you can hear a different emotion in his voice. You can’t put your finger on it, but you’ve never heard him talking like that. He was always emotionless. And maybe that’s what you mean, that he’s just not so emotionless right now.

“Will you leave after that?”

You can’t believe you’re considering it in the first place, but you need him to leave. And by arguing with him, he’s just not going to leave so easily. And as much as you try to distance yourself and the baby from him, there’s so little you can do. Because he’s right. He has his own right as a father. You’re doing this for your son, knowing his father is not capable of loving you. But that’s the thing. Loving you. What if he’s capable of loving your son?

Your mind is already racing and you find yourself in the same cycle of uncontrollable thinking. You just need to assure yourself, that you’re doing the right thing.

“Yes.” he answers lowly, eyes meeting yours again while you anxiously bite the inside of your cheek.

“Fine.” you mutter in annoyance, but you’re just a nervous wreck inside.

And with that, the permission you give him, he drops to his knees onto the wooden floor. Your mouth slightly open at him because he looks so vulnerable. He still owns the same intense glare but he’s on his knees right now, which can be mistaken as an act of giving up.

You watch his hand hesitantly lift up to your swollen baby, almost as if he’s complementing if this is the right thing. But then he touches you, the material of a t-shirt being the only barrier between the two of you. And as on cue, the baby kicks and you softly groan. It’s one of the lightest kicks, so it doesn’t hurt that much but it still makes you feel weird. It’s still something you need to get used to.

His hands drops to the hem of your t-shirt, eyes glancing up at you as he plays with it. You know what he wants and with a defeated sigh, you nod. The sooner he get what he wants, the sooner he leaves.

He carefully lifts up the stretchy material, your hands holding it up for him as he’s met with your skin and baby bump. It’s not too big, but still eye catching. His fingertips are the first thing that touch your skin, a shiver running at the back of your neck. The touch leaves a tickle feeling, bringing you back to all the times you’ve felt it. Obviously, the situation and circumstances were far too different than they’re now, but still. A part of you hates yourself for still feeling that way, despite of your hatred towards him.

But nobody could prepared you what’s next, your eyes experiencing a different side of the cold Kim Seokjin.

His brings his face closer to the peeking bump, his breath fanning your skin as he starts to palm it. “Hey, little one. It’s your daddy.”

Your other hand slaps over your mouth, an automatic reaction you couldn’t stopped, as you bite your lower lip harshly. Fucking hormones. They make you emotional, the atmosphere in the room changing as Seokjin’s velvety voice rings your ears.

Your eyes are watery again, your other hand gripping the material so tight that your knuckles turns white. And when baby kicks, which could’ve been completely random and it’s not because he just heard his father, you completely loose it. A sob escapes your lips, followed with a sniffle and you’re glad Seokjin doesn’t pay any attention to you.

You and Hoseok have been trying to get him to kick for a long time, trying everything. Hoseok talking to him, singing with his not so singing skills and voice cracking or reading a story he found on his phone. He barely reacted. The fact he reacted so easily right now is hurting you way more than it probably should. And you try to convice yourself, that this is just coincidence. Maybe it has something to do with your stress, which got higher by Seokjin’s presence.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts, that you barely make out Seokjin’s soft lips pressing gently against the bump before he stands up. His eyes doesn’t meet yours as he coughs, straightening his posture. It’s like the man you just saw a few seconds ago is gone.

“Don’t worry, I’ll see myself out.”

It’s the last thing he tells you before he walks out of Hoseok’s apartment, closing the front door behind him as you’re a sobbing mess. Your hand falls, the t-shirt covering your exposed belly before you quickly go to sit down. Your heart is racing so fast that you need to take a deep breaths.

Once you calm down, noticing the awful silence letting you know that you’re alone again, a droplets of sweat appear on your forehead.

Something’s telling you that this is not the last time you see him.