#and it's a reason that can happen in literally any fic despite whatever the author has tagged it with

[theoceansluvr]

Study Date Headcanons

warnings; none ! characters; percy jackson, jason grace, + leo valdez author's note; did i technically write a study date fic already ? yes. did i write it with my big 3 ? no !! also i wrote this during breaks on my AP psych assignments so it's a tad bit wonky.. T^T

PERCY JACKSON -

oh boy.. you guys rarely get any actual work done-

but it's very fun either way !

i feel like he has a self established award system so that for every problem he gets right, he gets a kiss..

which usually just ends in him asking super easy questions he already knows the answer to in order to get one.

"hey, the answer to #5 is y = 7.5 , right ?" "uhh.. yeah ? you've gone over that like five times-" "crazy ! i got the answer right though SOOO"

very ineffective method, but you still fall for it

in the scenario where you do get some work done, it's usually bc both of you procrastinated super hard

(we hate deadlines in his household !!)

anywho, lots of snacks too ! like blueberries, blue cookies his mom made, other various things to yer liking !

amazing with science for whatever reason ??? so go to him for help !!

i give him aaaaa 9.5/10 on the study date scale: only productive when necessary but worth it for the kisses !

JASON GRACE -

the most studious person on earth, literally has never missed a deadline !

except that one time but that's bc demigod stuff

has decent handwriting ??(he was raised by wolves okay :c) but enough that you can share notes with having to decipher anything

really good in english but simply bc latin influences on it

will study for like.. 3 hours straight without breaks so you have to grab him by the ear to relax and drink something other than cold coffee and flat red bull..

takes a crap ton of ap and honors classes it's unbelievable, so def the man to go to for anything !!

ermm classical music or pure silence, no in-between ! unless you play the music which is usually what happens

makes you tea/coffee before hand since it helps him focus so he just assumes it'll help you

not necessarily a study headcanon but if you share classes he ALWAYS partners up with you !

anyways, i got sidetracked 10/10 on the study date scale: very productive evening !

LEO VALDEZ -

MY BOYFRIEND EVER !!!

another ap and honors class taker so pls ask him for help in literally anything !

ESPECIALLY MATH 🗣️🗣️

probably takes like.. algebra 2 freshman year

anyways, not the most focused person but he gets his work done super fast despite that !

fast and correctly might i add, like it pisses teachers off when he talks on class and is like "oh i already finished !"

makes you dance with him during study breaks :3 doesn't matter how late it is or if yer in the library, yer dancing to whatever music is playing in the earbuds you guys are sharing

if he finishes his work early he either helps you or just.. stares at you longingly ?? very sappy

he also draws all over his notes so good luck trying to read them !

he gets an 12/10 on the study date scale: im bias + i hate math and would kill for this man to help me with it.. T^T

THIS WAS ACTUALLY SO FUN TO WRITE- might start doing more multiple character works tbh.. anyways !! hope you enjoyed loves🩷 also it was very tempting to put connor in here :(( kinda wish i did but i have work to do !!

[islandofsages]

Hey ! Can I ask for a male!reader that is a 4th or 3rd year at the NRC (in the dorm you want), and Yuu, Grim and Ortho after seeing him just decided to adopt him like their father ?

The reader is the definition of a good father, and Yuu, Grim and Ortho made him sign the adoption contract (give by Azul).

(Maybe the reader can be the boyfriend of Idia ?)

I just want a reverse adoption with Grim, Yuu and Ortho bc they need a good father.

characters: ortho, yuu and grim with fourth year male reader

tags: platonic, fluff, fic format

warnings: none

author's notes: sorry i didnt do the characters separately, i think they would have similar reactions. also reader isnt with idia bc im keeping this blog fairly romance-free :) thank you for giving me an excuse to write fourth year reader tho, the concept is so interesting and fun to explore!! and hes not in any specific dorm, wanted to keep it ambiguous hehe. honestly this whole thing was my own spin so word count: 974 words

You haven't gone back to NRC in a while. Despite the absolute chaos that goes on way more than often in that school, you’ve grown to harbor fondness for that familiarity. Luckily, you're due for a report of the progress of your internship. Instead of merely sending an email to your professor, you’ll go meet up with him yourself and check up on your underclassmen (maybe even get to know the freshmen) in the meantime.

You are just one of the many seniors of NRC but you found that your dorm members are quite fond of you for whatever reason. So when you come back for that short time period, a few of them come to greet you and catch up with you. Apparently, the abandoned dorm is now occupied by not one but two new students. You didn't even know there was an abandoned dorm!

“One of them can't even use magic and came from a different universe or something? And one of them is literally a magical monster! The school totally got weirder when you left, (Y/N),” one of your dorm members explains. You try to imagine it in your head. Yeah, no, if nobody told you that’s exactly what happened, you wouldn’t have known. You only believe the dorm member because you trust them enough.

“Oh, and remember Idia? The one with the robot brother? He’s a housewarden now. And his brother's a student now. He's an actual freshman,” more gossip makes their way to you. Your eyes widen at the news. You feel like you may remember them, the Shroud brothers - you could tell Idia was trying really hard to stay on the down low so you did him a favor and left him alone for the most part.

You don’t stay at your dorm for very long - you did come to NRC for a reason - and that was to send in that report of yours. Though you already dropped it off before checking up on your underclassmen, you plan just walking around school and taking in the sights that were once so familiar to you. And you haven’t even really graduated yet.

You walk down the hallways and say hi to whoever you recognize, basking in that comfortable familiarity. Some friendlier students stop to chat with you and to be perfectly honest, you feel a little old compared to everyone. You don’t mind but what’s rubbing it in is how some of the students are calling you “Dad” to tease you. You know they’re being playful for the most part but you can’t help but feel a little awkward with the nickname.

Then you run into those three.

You recognize the younger Shroud brother - hard not to with his flames for hair - but you can only guess the other two are the new students occupying that abandoned dorm; one’s uniform seems foreign and the other is not even remotely humanoid. They're definitely eye-catching, especially together. And apparently, you're pretty eye-catching too, with the way they lay their eyes on you while you were talking to another student.

The younger Shroud brother leads the group as they make their way to you excitedly. You're already preparing yourself for what you assume is a normal conversation with these kids. Too bad normal is the wrong thing to expect from these three, you will come to know.

“(Y/N)! You’re back at school!” The younger Shroud - Ortho, that’s his name - exclaims as he flies slightly upwards, happy to see you again. The other two look at you curiously, head tilted to the side and all. You offer them a jolly laugh as you tell the other two who you are and update all of them of how your internship is going. They’re eerily silent when you’re relaying your story but you appreciate not being interrupted. ‘What polite freshmen,’ you thought.

Until they aren’t, because they interrupt you with-

“Can you adopt us?!”

Their eyes twinkle as they clasp their hands together and gaze at you with their best puppy-eye look. Oh, they’re being genuine. This is escalating way too quickly - the nickname was weird enough, you’re not sure what to feel about a bunch of age-ambiguous freshmen wanting a fellow (though presumably older) student to adopt them. You sigh and put on your best smile so as to not disappoint them.

Truth be told, it really isn’t as bad or weird as it sounds. People were already teasing you about it so might as well run along with it. But still. Legally adopting these freshmen would still be too much for you to handle. After all, you’re still going to be preoccupied with your internship. You won’t be present for most of their school years and the last thing you want to be is a father who forgot to bring the milk back home.

You tell them you will think about it, in case they were actually joking and you’re somehow dumb enough to not catch on. They agree to allow you to take your time… but then they start muttering about “getting a contract from Azul” and you immediately step in to stop them from taking any drastic measures.

After that whole ordeal, you leave school more exhausted than you thought you would be. After all, three freshmen literally asked you to become their father and adopt them and were about to get you to agree to some contract.  But then, you find out, they turn out to be the best children you’ve ever had. 

They can be a handful, sure - Ortho is way too curious for his own good sometimes, Grim can’t sit still and picks fights with people often, and Yuu is… Yuu. Being a single father is definitely not the easiest thing to do with them as your children.

Yet you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

[shi-daisy]

Wanna see the world burn so 🔥 Tamsand for the ship ask!

Lmao anon you want my beasties to be appalled? Cuz it'd be the odd one out but ok!

Send me a 🔥 and a ship and I'll tell you what I think of them

Short answer? NOTP, I hate it, squick, I have the tagged blocked

Longer answer. While the Canon dynamic with Tamlin and Rhysand's past is interesting and you can make tragic fics with the both as friends or as past lovers, and I do think Rhysand is a little too obsessed with bothering Tammy baby I hate the idea of these two as a couple unless it's a bad end.

There's a few reasons. The simple one is that I hate Rhysand enough to stick him in The Rack from Saw 3 (Don't look that shit up if you're grossed out by heavy gore) with absolutely no remorse and the idea of paring this overhyped asshat bat with my favorite character makes me gag (Same could be said for other Rhysand ships like Feysand, Rhysta, Rhycien, etc)

Another one would be that I hate giving this dude attention. Any acotar merch is made for him and his bat boys. There's literally no Feyre merchandise in Hot Topic all of it it's him, even tho she's supposed to be the MC. I'm so so very sick of him hoggin page time and arcs from the other of infinitely more interesting characters. So when I look for fic if Tamsand or Rhysand are prominent I tend to scroll past even if it's an author I like.

Finally and the heaviest reason for my deep-seated hate of this ship it's one specific scene in ACOFAS. You know the one.

The scene in the novella where Rhysand goes to Spring sees the desolate state of the Court, of Tamlin, of the man who saved him despite their hate for eachother and just goes of on him and tells him to die. It's absolutely disgusting and triggering that I had to throw the thing away and go puke.

After that I can't ship those two in any way shape or form, even if it's an AU where their faling out never happened I just can't get past that scene. Having been in Tamlin's suicidal state once years ago it would disgust me if anyone suggested I get with a person who pushed me down during that time which thankfully for me that didn't happen, but if it had I would've cut ties with them. I can't get over it and just decided to block it out

There are plenty of multishipper creators and even friends of mine who've dabbled in it but I stay the hell away from that ship even if whatever they're in is expertly made. I can't get past the dynamic they have in canon, and my Rhysand hate and the suicide bait scene. If I want Tamlin x another male character I can get that with Tamcien, Tamris, Tamquin and even Tamlin x KoH. Rhysand is the last character I would ever want more content for.

Also call me vanilla but the whole 'bffs/ exes who are torn apart by war' isn't a trope I like much. It's good for certain pairs but not a thing I go for. Hell if I don't care for it with Optimus Prime x Megatron where I love both characters and their falling out is far more balanced, tragic and believable why would I care for it between my fave and the dude I hate and it only being tacked on for Sarah to woobify the shitlord and throw more dirt on Tamlin? It really isn't my cup of tea.

Hope this answers your question, anon!

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

I hate it when my fandom is a small niche because no one will care about my rant ahead lol. I am a fan of The Red Tent (The show and the book by Anita Diamant) and I go on Tumblr to find content on it. Long story short I find lovely gifs of the show with Rebecca Ferguson, quotes of the book and such, but unfortunately no metas or fics or people gushing about the story and the characters, which was sadly to be expected. The only thing I find is someone complaining about how the show changed the ending to make it more hopeful, about forgiveness, etc. And I am like, bitch, the show is a whitewashing-of-middle-eastern-characters-mess, it was not as detailed as the book, it was too short and could have done more with the content, the actors are unbelievably and stupidly old for their ages (Especially Dinah in the first episode, Rebecca is beautiful but there is no way I can suspend my disbelief and pretend she is a lovesick teenager, why the hell didn't they use two actresses for her? The passage of time in the show was perfect for that), and so on, but you know what what good about it? (Other than the costumes and the settings of course)

It fixed the bookʼs crappy ending. There, I said it. I don't care how supposedly “deep” it is, or being told I just don't get it. It is just my truth and you are free to disagree.

You see, when I got to the end of the book I was met by a very depressing and dull experience where Dinah suddenly stopped loving all of her brothers, even Joseph, despite the fact they were breadfed together and each other's best friends growing up. I get her hatred and unforgiving attitude towards Simon and Levi and even the rest of the older brothers, but Joseph? Who had nothing to do with the massacre other than a comment he didn't seriously mean and was around her age when it happened? The author just wanted to shock the readers at this point.

What is more, in the show it could have been understandable for Dinah to be ambivalent towards Joseph, since he tried to get her son killed for almost assassinating him, but in the book it is actually Joseph who spares his life and sends him away instead without ANY coercion from Dinah. Dinah just continues to hate him in the book for no reason because he is part of her past and she wants to forget her past and his existence took her son away from her even though that was literally 100% the sonʼs fault for trying to kill a literal statesman out of revenge with WITNESSES around without learning the full story of what happened to his father, who was killed by Simon and Levi only and not all of Dinahʼs brothers lol

lmao It just makes Dinah come out as heartless and cruel, especially considering she gets some second hand account about how much Joseph supposedly suffered as a slave, which, because this takes creative liberties (Which I am 100% fine with btw), is an even greater amount of suffering than implied in the Bible (He is said to have been beaten and raped by his masters or the slave traders before getting to Potiphar in this book, which actually makes sense, him being a slave and this being ancient times and all, and Potiphar is also a creep). But nope, there is no talk of how both siblings have suffered, Joseph as a slave, and Dinah since the loss of her husband and forced separation from her child. They just become strangers, which is frustrating and unsatisfactory. No emotional reunion in the book as there is in the show (Which has a brilliant scene where they meet again that is very satisfying).

The book also has to make all the male characters heatless monsters incapable of remorse or idiots to make Dinah, her son, and her love interests shine (They literally make Joseph an illiterate fool to make Dinahʼs son shine as the “power or intellect behind the power” or whatever, like, this isn't even about uplifting women because this is Dinahʼs son, not Dinah herself, this is pretty much just about making Dinah the only competent or admirable child of Jacob, it is so blatant and annoying it reminds me of Disneyʼs Maleficent idea of telling a complex story and giving voice to voiceless characters, meaning flipping everything around and thinking that does the job) . The show doesn't do this and yet Dinah comes across as a very competent woman, a brilliant midwife, just as she is in he books. She is unquestionably the main character in the show and yet we also get glimpses of Joseph being a learned man, no character assassination needed. You don't have to pick on Joseph, who most imagine to have been learned and literate at some point in his life besides having the prophetic dreams (which makes SENSE even if it is not in the Bible, he was given a position of power for a reason), to make me admire Dinahʼs character.

The end of the show makes Dinah bond with her brother and gives you the impression they stay good friends even if she can't make herself to do the same with her other brothers. This, along with her relationship with Benia, is a huge triumph after so much suffering, a true happy ending, I can see the two of them playing with their children and having meals together. She forgives her father because Joseph forgave her son for trying to kill him, it is lovely, it is a lovely message, and her forgiving her father ties to the original message of the story, paralleling with Joseph forgiving his brothers. Forgiveness doesn't lower Dinah down or have to mean she thinks what her father did was right. It doesn't mean she has to spend time with the people who hurt her. It just means she lets go of the anger. Can this message be annoying for some people who are pressured by society to forgive their abusers? Yes, but in fiction it is better this way because unless the plot is about revenge, forgiveness gives the story closure and meaning, and because the book set the story up to a final encounter with her family, Dinah being as indifferent makes the ending anticlimactic.

In the book, Dinah returning to her homeland is almost there for no reason (I liked her meeting the new generation in her family and learning of the women and girls, granddaughters of her mothers, who are always forgotten, but other than that? Pointless). She doesn't speak to her father or brothers even to ask them why they did what they did or be angry (which was an alternative to the forgiveness arc if your truly hate it that much), she doesn't speak to Joseph either because “muh my past I hate muh past and he sent my son who tried to kill him away”. There is straight up NO REASON FOR HER TO BE THERE. I hate the ending so much it is unbelievable.

So no, random person who is probably among the few to feel strongly about this show/book. The show ending is awesome and way better than the book ending (imo, I have nothing against you random person). Thank you for coming to my niche fandom ted talk.

[beefxalto]

There was a wasp on me. She was very chill and didn’t sting me, so she might’ve been a he. I still screamed and cried like a baby until I shook it off, but it made me think about Attack on Titan, and the shounen genre as a whole.

I hate canon shipping, because it’s almost always two straight characters who have absolutely no business being together but are anyway because the author/the fans want it to happen, and this point is proven no better than in AOT. (I didn’t finish the anime, but this is a discussion area! Feel free to point out if my opinions are unfounded.)

- Exhibit A: Armin x Annie

For the most part, this is a personal grievance of mine because I ship Eren and Armin. The relationship itself is cute, non-toxic, and all-around unproblematic, but did Armin and Annie ever even talk before S4? I know he was yapping at that crystal she was trapped in, but that doesn’t really count as the talking stage. Honestly, my problems with this ship are purely personal and I don’t fight folks who think it’s cute!

- Exhibit B: Reiner x Christa/Historia

This is also a personal thing of mine because I ship Ymir and Christa. There’s just a lot more romance between them (I’m pretty sure Reiner says he wants to marry Christa once and it was Ymir’s dying wish).

- Exhibit C: Eren x Mikasa

This relationship. I literally used their dynamic for a Dead Dove fic because it was genuinely so toxic to me, and I don’t understand how people unironically think they’re cute. Lie to me and say he treated her well. She quite literally devoted her life to him, and she got a raggedy ass man who is constantly going off and doing his own thing without regard to her feelings or even an acknowledgement of her love?? Perhaps you can excuse him joining the Survey Corps despite her persistent warnings, her following him because she knew he would die by himself, AND HIM PROVING HER RIGHT, but she couldn’t at least get a “I love you”? For real??

Eremika stans will tell me that he did love her, and I’m not denying that, but he’s still so wrong for not once reciprocating her feelings (Yes, I know about the scene where he says he doesn’t want to die and wants to live happily with her, but he doesn’t ever say anything even resembling that to her face).

This is a problem in a lot of shounen anime/manga. Two characters who either never had any meaningful onscreen interaction or have an explicitly toxic relationship just end up together because he was a boy and she was a girl and do I need to say any more?? And I won’t sit here and pretend that there are no straight ships that work because there are (Connie and Sasha lowkey had my heart), but when female characters are written to be shallow complements to their male love interest/ally, the romances they have with those men feels just as shallow.

This is also why gay ships can feel more fulfilling and complex than straight ones, because male characters are written to have actual dimension and personality. There’s always more to it than them just being friends or enemies or whatever else is in between. They feel like real people who actually fell in love, and not just characters who were made to pine after each other.

So, next time you think about bashing a gay ship, remember that misogyny is the reason I think Eren Yeager takes it up the booty.

[hailing-stars]

Happy FFWF!

What tags do you filter while searching for new fic to read? Is there something that you absolutely won't read?

happy super late ffwf!!

I don't usually filter tags!! There's not anything I won't at least try out - I think looking at fics and deciding they're awful horrible unmentionable based on a trope or a pairing is a really shallow way to view fic and just fiction in general. That doesn't mean I don't come across something in a fic and decide, okay I'm really not digging that and close out, just means the things I shy away from will exist in fics, from time to time, despite what it's tagged with.

[peanutpinet]

My Plus One - Johnny Suh x Fem Reader | Idol Au

A/N: Herrow everyone!! How are you all? Johnfams, czennies, y'all alive after Johnny's Met Gala? I CLEARLY AM NOT FINE 🙃 MAN BE SERVING LOOKS AND IS OFFICIALLY MY BIAS WRECKER NOW. AND NCT 127 HAVEN'T EVEN MADE A COMEBACK T^T I'M DOOMED NEXT COMEBACK

Anyways, this is another story that I thought of a while ago but never really thought of "any specific neos" (let's be real, y'all probably know just by looking at my masterlist) and this is also gonna be mixed with a dream I had literally while the Met Gala was literally happening (timezone difficulties)

Summary: you were a staff of an SM in another country where you and Johnny became friends and eventually dated which is how your almost 2 year relationship was never caught. However, when you were transferred to the SM in Korea, someone within the company tried to sabotage your relationship

Warnings: angst, fluff, Johnny being aggressive compared to his normal self (aka slight yandere behaviour, the 'I'll kill you if you touch her'), your author trying yet another yandere fic and constantly simping over Johnny :D

It was painful. Moving to another country thinking that it would give you a fresh new start, better experiences, making happier memories and all. But in reality, it was just like a stain. When you stain your white T-shirt, all you could see and think of is the stain. No matter how hard you try to wash it, that white T-shirt will never be same ever again. So did your life in South Korea.

As much as you tried to suppress that unpleasing feeling when one matter pokes that bubble, everything explodes. You couldn't handle it. You wanted to be strong. You've always appeared to be strong and able to handle whatever was thrown at your way. But this, time, it was too much.

You loved Johnny, yes. You never once thought of leaching off of him, using him for your personal self-pleasure. Instead, those thoughts disgusted you. You were a fan of NCT before becoming a staff in SM, yes. But that doesn't mean that when you become a staff, you can be willy nilly and talk or even treat the idols you adore however you wanted. They weren't robots, they were not owned by anyone. They're human and they have their own lives.

That thought was most likely the reason why NCT trusted you in the first place despite you were a fan turned staff. You respected them as peers, you never saw them above nor below you. You respected their space and them as a person. You never forced anything upon them and instead you were the one that got out of your comfort zone to make sure that they were the ones that didn't have to.

Which is how Johnny first fell for you. You were a staff in an SM abroad. Meaning, your Korean was not as polished and you still had trouble speaking the language but you excelled in English, which is how you were able to communicate with the 'Foreign Swaggers', mainly Johnny.

You were the complete opposite of Johnny. Shy, introvert, listened rather than talk whereas Johnny was very much an extrovert, he talked a lot and was even the one that engaged in a conversation with you. Even if you only replied with a few words, worried that you might accidentally crossover the border or peers.

But as time passes during the boys' stay, you and the foreign swaggers, especially Johnny, got very close. Towards the end of the boys' stay did Johnny admit to you about his feelings. But because you never really had an actual relationship before, it took time to actually fully accept Johnny's confession. But not because you didn't like him back, but more so you were worried that it was all just a phase, especially when you both were going to be in a long-distance relationship.

But once again, Johnny proved you wrong and almost 2 years later, you guys were still going strong. With Johnny always finding a way to go and see you whenever he had a break and thanks to the company and nice fans, your relationship was never revealed to the public.

But it was also because of the company that your relationship was now a mess. All because of a group of jealous staff, your relationship was now on the edge of glass. Even if your face wasn't revealed, most of the fans and public most likely know who you are since you were practically featured in one of NCT's live and interview.

You didn't want to burden them, especially Johnny. So, you decided to take the blame and resigned back to your home country. Johnny was honestly heartbroken and distressed by your sudden departure. Especially when you didn't even tell him about it. But in all honesty, he wasn't really angry at you. He completely understood from your perspective because you weren't used to it like he was and he knows how nice you were and always sacrificing yourself for others.

Which is why this time, Johnny decided to take matters into his own hands. Literally. Johnny stormed into SM the day after he found out you left. He demanded for everyone who was involved to admit their doings. That day was the day that both NCT and the whole of SM saw a side of Johnny that they never knew existed.

While he was known to be the tall, strong member, his personality was the complete opposite of it. Not once did Johnny ever use violence or intentionally curse at anyone until that day. He was so pissed that even his members and security were scared to come close to him.

It wasn't until Lee Sooman himself come and tell Johnny off. Promising that he himself would help find the person that spread the false rumours. Only then did Johnny somewhat calm down but not without leaving a threat to everyone.

"I suggest that whoever you are, confess before I actually find out myself who did it. Because if I find out first, I promise you that I won't be so nice. I'll make sure that I get back for what you did to her that you wish you never step foot into our relationship" Johnny threatened, storming out of the staff room

After that day, no one. No. One. Dared to even look at Johnny straight in the eyes except for his members. Even so they were still a bit terrified. To the point where some members that were very close to you like the Dreamies and WayV (A/N: cause I feel dreamies would get along easily and WayV are all foreigners like you) had to update you on what happened, begging you to talk to Johnny. But you weren't ready to face him, not after you left him just like that.

But hey, when it's meant to be, life will find a way to make it happen. Which is what happen when you were having a high school reunion dinner that just so happen to be at a restaurant in the hotel that NCT 127 were staying for their concert.

Johnny who saw that a guy was trying to hit on you just lost it. Especially when you were clearly not interested and were uncomfortable. So, you can only imagine that guy and your whole high school friends' face when they saw Johnny, a whopping 187cm (this ain't confirmed but I'm 99% sure this is his height :D) suddenly appeared right behind you and pulled you softly behind him, towering the guy and practically shooting bullets at the guy.

Once they got the message, Johnny took your hand gently in his, pleading you to follow him and have a talk. Knowing that you can't run away forever, you agreed and bid your friends goodbye, giving them an apologetic smile as you told them you were sorry that the dinner was interrupted.

So talk you both did. You firstly apologised for everything. For the sudden leave without saying anything, for making Johnny and the other members worry and all. But Johnny ignored them all. Yes he did tell you how disappointed and heartbroken he was when he found out but he told you that he understands where you were coming from.

"I'm sorry. For leaving so sudden. For not telling you what happened. For going without saying a word, especially to you" you apologised, looking down to your feet

"I'm not going to lie, I'm disappointed but I don't blame you. You were hurting and I didn't even know about it nor did I realise it. I was just so happy that we were finally with each other, no more distance separating us that I neglected how you might've felt" Johnny replied back, caressing your knuckles

However, Johnny also told you that he wasn't going to let you go that easily and wants to try again. To actually be there for you and protect you from all the harm for dating him. In addition, he told you that he wants to make the relationship public. That he wants everyone to finally know that he has found his plus one. It took some time to think and all but you agreed. Saying that it's time and even added on that Johnny should be honest with his fans first and foremost.

Which is how Johnny ended up handwriting a wholeass letter to his fans about your relationship without actually revealing you and thankfully everyone was very supportive and gave both of you their blessings, wishing nothing but happiness for both you and Johnny.

But that wasn't the only surprise that were coming for fans because Johnny was invited for a fashion event whilst being on tour and he wants you to be his plus one. Heck, he already had a dress, hairdresser and makeup artist ready before you even agreed to come.

So here you both were, linking your arms together as you walked into the event, all cameras and eyes were both on you. But clearly, there was nothing more for either of you to say. It was clear that day that you both were each other's plus one.

Once the night was over, both of you went back to your room and let out a huge sigh of relief. Especially Johnny. He suddenly sat on the bed, holding your hands in his and he just suddenly broke down. Telling you how grateful he was for you.

"You have no idea how much this means to me. How much you mean to me. That 6 months of not knowing how you were, only able to see through your Instagram stories, not being able to hear your voice or even touch you like now was torture. But even then, you kept trying to be strong, sacrificing yourself for me. I can't explain to you how damn grateful I am for you. I promise that I'll be here until the end. Because I choose you to be my plus one" Johnny broke down, hugging your waist as he cried on your chest while you stroked his hair

"You mean just as much to me too, Johnny. Thank you for being strong and keep on going. And even waiting for me. For even chasing me and making sure that I was alright. Thank you for being my plus one too" you softly cooed, kissing his forehead and just enjoying being in each other's embrace

A/N: goodness, this was a long fic to write :D I had no idea it would turn out this long and I hope that it makes sense. If it doesn't, well, sorry about that ahahha. I might do a more yandere/mafia type of story with the amount of pics we got of Johnny from the Met. Honestly am so damn happy and proud of him T^T Like literally, that last 2-3 paragraphs were inspired by my dream of him. Anyways, I stayed up till 2am writing this fic so I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did writing it and I hope that it would warm your hearts. See y'all in the next one! Stay safe and always be happy :] xoxo Vinet

[saitaso]

What They’re Like in Bed HCs P.2 (NSFW)

Reader x various TR characters (the men) 

FT. Hanma, Takemichi, Kazutora, Chifuyu, Baji, Naoto (Not much Naoto smut out there...But I did him no favors lmao.)

Part one has the Bonten Executives.

No mentions of skin color, body type, gender, or any other identifying features.

♥Authors Notes: Thanks so much for all the likes & reblogs on part one! Eventually I’ll do part three- who do you want to see?

I mean, I didn’t have to go that hard with Hanma and Kazutora but…I did that. I love them lol. Sometimes I just have a direct line to their psyche. Don’t question me I’m 100% right. 

Disclaimers: This is based solely on vibes, what little I’ve seen of them in the manga and of course, other fics. So don’t put too much stock into them, it’s just good fun. (Unfortunately, I don’t think Ken Wakui is really interested in making anything like this canon lmao!)

All aged up to their respective time skip versions or to be in their late 20′s-30′s. (Yes, even Baji. Let me pretend he gets a happy ending, okay?)

Just assume everything is consensual and that safe words are established.

Warnings: Kink heavy, a lil toxic, (mean dom Hanma- breath play, alludes to abuse), BDSM, deep throating, impact play, daddy/sir, not all that idealistic, perverts, thigh fucking, lil nod towards consensual non consent, descriptions of sex/sexual themes obvi. Still not that sure what to list here!

Word Count: 1,300 ish

ADULT CONTENT AHEAD, 18+ ONLY.

✄----------------------------------------------------------------------

HANMA

Immediately bored after he cums, so if you’re going to get off you better do it before he does.

For most hookups he literally doesn’t care if you cum at all though.

As far as he’s concerned, you’re basically an escort.

But on the off chance he wants more of you, he’ll toy with you for hours.

Wants you absolutely ruined by the end of the night.  

Not interested in aftercare. If he’s in love with you (good luck) he’ll make an effort if you talk to him about it.

Heavy into BDSM but makes sure you know the safe word (or safe motion), because you really might need to use it.

Breath play is his absolute favorite. I mean, his sin & punishment tattoos are on his hands for a reason. He’s had a couple close calls in the past, but to him that’s part of the fun.

Sadist. Will play with you in public, especially in front of his friends and coworkers. He loves to see how long you can withstand his ministrations before you break and embarrass yourself.

His tamest kink is making you get off by rutting against him (his thigh or shoe being his favorites) or whatever object he feels would be a challenge for you.

Casually smokes cigarettes while you go down on him. Which would be fine if he wasn’t forcing his fat cock down your throat and acting like nothing special is happening.

Will absolutely make you wear a vibrator when the two of you go out if there’s no chance he’ll be able to directly play with you. Especially loves this when it’s a work function or formal event.

TAKEMICHI

Surprisingly confident in bed.

I mean he’s always given off shy virgin vibes when the two of you hung out.

But once the pants come off…He’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

The most loving and sweet sexual partner you’ve ever had.

Heavy into body worship and praising you. But he also loves being praised.

Typically prefers vanilla sex. Though he’s also no stranger to getting kinky.

In fact, despite loving praise, he’s equally interested in penis humiliation. Ridicule him for his small dick. (Even though it’s very average sized).

You know you’ve done it right when tears start to form in his eyes. (But this is probably where you should stop as well.)

He’s also into impact play, unsurprisingly he’s the one who likes getting spanked and flogged. (I mean…why else would he take so many hits & so well? LOL).

Secret sir/daddy kink. He loves feeling powerful and needed. But he’s also weirded out by being called daddy.

Call him that and you’ll see him get the most conflicted look. But it always leads to him fucking you roughly on the nearest surface.

NAOTO

Constantly has a faraway look in his eyes.

Thinks about all the different timelines and how to save his sister while the two of you fuck.

Will occasionally stop in the middle and run to his white board. Drawing a line between two photos and scribbling notes underneath.

Lowkey thinks about Takemichi a lot during sex too.

Almost prefers sexting and phone sex to the real thing since he’s busy a lot.

But he generally has a low sex drive. 

Loves handcuffing you, either to the bed or hands behind your back.

Spacey when it comes to sex. It’s either good or he gets soft in the middle of it because he’s distracted. But he makes it up to you in other ways.

One of those ways is giving you head.

He’s obsessed with giving and receiving oral. It’s the only time he can really get out of his head. 

Always wants to go down on you especially when you’re handcuffed to the bed.

He’s exceptional at it. Will have your eyes rolling back. Mind blown every time.

When he does have the time and mental capacity, he loves shibari. Tying you up all pretty gets him rock hard. 

He’s so focused on getting the knots and patterns just right that he doesn’t even notice the hard on he’s been sporting since he started.

Always gives you a spanking right after handcuffing or tying you up.

CHIFUYU

160% boyfriend material.

As soon as anyone has sex with him, they fall in love.

It’s not that he’s the best lay you’ve ever had, it’s just the most…magical.

Prefers to fuck you slow and hard with deep strokes that hit all the right places.

Doesn’t know what body praise and worship are – he just does it unintentionally. (He says, “Isn’t that what all sex should be like?”)

Man isn’t even trying, imagine what he could do if he did. He’s just so genuine.

Always very gentle with you, but he will be a little rougher if you ask real sweetly.

Will have casual sex and one night stands but prefers relationships when he finds the right person.

Generally pretty vanilla because he just isn’t that well versed in kink. If you teach him about it, he’d be surprised how many kinks he has.

Super into roleplay, especially when you dress up as his favorite characters. Sometimes he gets so into it the two of you end up not having sex.

I’m not saying he’s into pet play (I mean, he runs a pet shop, so it makes him feel awkward.) But he does love seeing you in a collar.

Someone you can laugh with during sex. After all the entire situation is quite comical!

Low key a complete pervert. He steals your dirty underwear under the guise of doing your laundry for you (and you think, “ahh what a sweetheart!” no. He’s getting freaky with your undies!!)

BAJI

Bondage. likes tying people up and being tied up.

Total switch in the bedroom. Sure he likes being dominant, but sometimes he just wants you to take charge.

Definitely likes to play fight in bed.

I mean he just loves tossing you around and manhandling you.

Very chivalrous, he always makes sure you cum first. But accidents happen, and to make it up to you he makes you cum twice.

If he plans sex, he has to have a playlist on in the background. He just likes adding atmosphere.

Gets hard as fuck listening to his friend’s sexual experiences (especially his kinky ass besties Chifu and Kazu). Absolutely loves fantasizing about doing those things with you.

Speaking of Chifuyu, he and Baji frequently discuss their perverted fantasies and plans. (Don’t worry, they only act on them with their significant others).

Oh yeah, Baji is a big-time pervert. Though he isn’t as covert as Chifuyu is. He can and will relate everything to sex, mostly as a joke. It’s seriously like a super power. 

Desperately wants to have a threesome but is too scared you’ll be offended to ask. 

KAZUTORA

Very clingy and obsessive. If you weren’t in love with him it would be creepy. Total yandere vibes.

Will not initiate sex no matter how horny he is.

His mind just comes up with every reason why you might not want to fuck.

He watches you sleep and fantasizes about fucking you while you’re unconscious. (You’ve discussed it and told him it’s okay, but he’s still not comfortable with it.)

Masturbates at least once a day regardless of whether the two of you have had sex.

Absolutely addicted to porn.

Not a virgin, but still needs guidance in the beginning to gain his confidence with a new partner.

But rest assured he’s paying attention to everything. Each moan and pleasured jerk of your body has him furiously scribbling mental notes.

Has an objectification kink- he just wants you to use him for your pleasure.

Very submissive. Incredibly rare for him to be dominant in bed.

He’s scared of hurting you on accident. Considering his past it’s best you don’t push him on it.

Loves being edged and having his orgasm controlled or denied. The longer you toy with him the better.

Is interested in polyamory and group sex but isn’t quite comfortable actually trying it yet.

[twopoppies]

Hi! I hope it’s not too annoying of a request but I was wondering if you or your followers can think of any fics that are kinda inspiring academically, especially regarding British literature, if that makes sense? I just finished rereading Come As You Are and every time I read it, it motivates me to read more and practice my writing because I want to be more like Harry from that fic hahaha and I’m looking for more fics which evoke this feeling since I’m starting my masters in October and I need all the help I can get. Thank you so much! (I absolutely love your master post and its my go to couple times a week!)

Hi sweetheart. Hmmm... I just reblogged my Dark Academia fic rec, but other than that I think it would be fics where one or the other are writers/poets etc. Not all of these are heavy on the writing/poetry, but they're all great fics.

Make Your Words A Weapon by @helloamhere (E, 36K) I recently read this a second time and it’s even better than I remembered. I love everything this author writes. This one just really hit me hard for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the way they explore Louis’ anxiety and coping mechanisms and pain and the way he pushes people away and protects himself, but also wants someone to push back just a bit and love him despite all of that. And the way Harry is the perfect foil for all of it, while also feeling like a fully developed character himself. Yeah, it’s probably all of that. Plus soul marks! (Musician Harry/Music Journalist Louis)

Our Lives, Non Fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 114K) this is, quite literally, the best fic I’ve read in years. It’s so well written, clever, funny, emotional, and sexy. Its draw you in immediately and you’ll end up falling in love with these characters before you know it. Don’t miss this one. Harry and Louis are both authors.

An Invincible Summer by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 45K) this one is mine, I hope you like it:

Never content to stay in one place for long, a few months down south researching for his novel seemed like an idyllic, slow-paced summer to Louis. He wasn’t ready for the blistering heat, the backbreaking work of watermelon picking, or how stifling the attitudes in rural Georgia would feel. And he definitely hadn’t anticipated falling in love with the farmer’s son.

The summer of 1946 would turn out to be everything worth writing about. Farmer Harry / author Louis

Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (E, 115K) Beautifully written, flawed characters and an emotionally engaging and ANGSTY plot. Super hot smut that made me cry like a fool. Banter, OT5 friendship, and the gritty realness of New York as a backdrop. Loved this one. Artist Harry / Author Louis

where your lips land by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite (E, 12K) Ok, I’ve recommended this one a few times and I really do love it. Anyway, I love fics where the two of them are both artists of some sort (Louis is a poet in this one, Harry is a photographer) because it allows for another layer of understanding and connection and support. I particularly love the way Louis’ tattoos are woven into this story with layered meaning. And, as always, just beautiful writing.

you’re writing lines about me by snazzyasalways (T, 4K) This is gorgeously written on that Dreamy, poetic style I happen to love. Louis is a blind poet, Harry is a baker, Harry falls in love with Louis’ words, then with him.

another hazy may by deLILah (M, 41K) Another author who writes great fic after great fic. This one has that dreamy quality I love and there’s also something about it that, at times, reminds me of a little bit of a Raymond Chandler novel. I know that’s weird...but, yeah, it does. Anyway, I love this one. Such a good read.

I would name the stars for you (I would take you there) by orphan_account (M, 91K) This is just beautifully written. Angst. Mutual pining. Dumb boys. Beautiful descriptions of art and creativity and fame and beautiful poetry.

Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow (M, 72K) This is truly one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read and it is an absolutely travesty that it’s not being talked about every day. This fic is gorgeous and poetic and romantic and heartbreaking and an explosion of metaphoric images and everything I never knew I needed but now that I have it I want to read it over and over and over.

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 107K) This author referred to this fic as their “depressed vampire” fic while they were writing, and it is that. But it’s also a unique story with beautifully fleshed out characters, plot twists, and super hot smut. Go check it out! Vampire Harry / Writer Louis

24K Magic by @justalittlelouislove (E, 33K) FINALLY a category in which I can rec this author! I love everything they write, but this was the first one I’d read and it’s just great. Smooth dialogue, sexy smut, great description of character growth…just a really fun fic.

the best part of me (was always you) by @moonshinelouis-archive (E, 6K) Gorgeous writing. The descriptions of heartbreak and missing someone and still loving them were really well done. And I cried. Of course.

'Sup by MediaWhore (GA, 7K) Divorced, awkward Harry pining for silver fox Louis is a trope I never knew I needed, but I love it so much.

I Will Never Rust by stylez (E, 38K) I must have read this at least 5 years ago and I honestly don’t remember details, but my notes say “gorgeous, sad, sexy” so... I’m crossing my fingers that old me knew what she was talking about. It’s frat boy Harry so that could go either way. LOL! Student/Poet Harry.

Loyal Knight and True by rainbowninja167 / (E, 52K) Really original story, mystery and magic, great characterizations. All around a very good read!

Turning Page by purpledaisy (M, 68K) This author does a wonderful job with their characterizations which makes their fics such a pleasure to read. This one really has you rooting for curmudgeonly Louis and skittish/secretive Harry to figure their shit out and fall in love. If you like this one, make time to read this author’s fic, Walk That Mile – it’s one of my all time favorites. Sports journalist Louis.

Black with Autumn Rain by Whimsicule (T, 93K) This author is a favorite. If you like intense, creative stories, with complex characters and tight dialogue, you should read all of their fics. This one has the flavor of a Daphne du Maurier novel – dark, creepy, and moodily romantic. Plus a supernatural edge. It’s so good. Journalist Harry.

That Sounds Fake But Okay by dancingontheceiling (E, 113K) This one has a little bit of everything: Enemies to lovers, fake relationship, famous/not famous... plus, really good writing and some sexy smut scenes. Actor Louis / journalist Harry.

Sing When You're Winning by hazmesentir (NR, 91K) another one I read ages ago, but I always like this author’s writing and the premise of newly out footballer Louis and journalist intern Harry who somehow snags the interview, is such a fun one. And I don’t know why it has an NR rating, there’s plenty of smut.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA! Journalist Harry/prince Louis (this fic has been deleted, so the link is to a download).

[theunreliablewriter]

Unconditionally

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Insinuation of panic attacks, Fear of loved one’s death, Mentions of killing, Mention of self-hatred, Very minor injuries, Cussing, Written at 3:00am, Google Translate: (moya serdtse = my heart)

Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 2k

Request: Hello. May I request a Natasha x reader fic with "I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I've met." ? Thanks.

Author’s Note: I am so bad at wrapping these fics up, and this is proof. Also, I always imagine as Nat having the Red Room’s serum like in the comics (especially after Black Widow). Thank you to anybody who reads! Please reblog, like, and comment! 💜

Overall, you had consistently viewed your life as nothing above average and, sometimes, maybe even a little dull. Of course, there were times of great fun, whether they were brought by something as minor as a new coffee shop opening up that turned out to become your new favorite, or as major as traveling to destinations you always wanted to go to.

But, during those moments in your life, no matter how wonderful they were, you couldn’t shake the feeling of longing. For what, specifically? You didn’t have a clue, despite how much you wracked your brain for an answer. The most you could come up with was a craving for more. Whatever the “more” was, though, you couldn’t figure out.

Never have you been one to believe a romantic relationship was necessary to feel whole, and you were whole; you were complete.

But, even the world’s greatest artist can look at their finished painting and wished it had turned out to be just a bit more colorful, can’t they? And there is nothing wrong with deciding to do something to add more color, is there?

No. Of course not.

And for you, you took the first step to making your life more colorful the day you asked the gorgeous red head, who looked as though she had been to hell and back, if she would like to go eat with you in a location that was not a nearly destroyed shawarma place.

Witnessing and surviving a literal alien attack was the only reason you were able to ask such a woman on a date. Your nerves were already far past spent and figured the day couldn’t get any worse, so you might as well go for it.

That day was two years ago, now. Since then, the famous Black Widow had added such a brightness—so many colors—to your life.

That feeling of longing for that unknown more vanished the night of your first date, and ever since, it began to fade from your memory entirely.

To her colleagues’ and, most of all, her surprise, your relationship with Natasha progressed rapidly.

The first month was an ongoing cycle of push and pull because the ex-assassin absolutely hated the idea of getting attached to you, but all the while, she simply couldn’t stay away from you.

She often joked about you having an undisclosed power that allowed you to have an effect on people’s emotions and desires. With time, though, she finally realized the reason she couldn’t stay away because she didn’t want to stay away.

And when Natasha removed herself from that state of denial, there was no turning back.

She fell, and when she did, she fell harder than she ever thought possible for not just her, but for anyone.

Of course, it was all the same for you, and you knew it would happen that first evening together. Just by the end of it, her looks became the least interesting thing about her.

She was the most hilarious person you had ever met. You loved how she could be the world’s most ruthless smart ass one second, but the kindest person the next. You had never experienced such admiration until you witnessed her bravery and desire to help others. The depth of her mind absolutely captivated you.

The list of qualities and details about her that made you fall hopeless in love with her was endless.

The only thing you wished you could change was how she hated so many parts of past—of herself.

Over the course of these couple years, especially after moving to Washington D.C. together, Natasha began to disclose some aspects about the life she had before joining S.H.I.E.L.D.

Everything she shared was always in the amount of small bits and pieces for you to add up. You knew she loathed talking about anything of this sort, but you knew that wasn’t the only reason why she shared so little.

To say it pained you to see the fear of judgment, of scaring you, of abandonment flood her eyes each and every time was beyond an understatement.

Natasha knew you loved her, but she didn’t know just how badly you wanted to love all of her, including, if not especially, the parts she hated.

How oblivious she was to that fact became fully apparent the day S.H.I.E.L.D fell.

With the exception of a single, blocked number phone call that lasted just long enough for her to tell you she couldn’t come home because the entire organization was compromised, you hadn’t heard from your girlfriend in days.

The only update you finally received came from a news channel’s broadcast, and all it did was enhance your endless worrying.

You knew Natasha and Steve, along with the man with robotic wings you hadn’t met, would be on the front lines against whoever it was with the mask and metal arm. You knew they would have to be the ones to bring down whatever group had overtaken S.H.I.E.L.D.

But, despite all of your fear and anxiety, you knew they could do it; you knew she could do it.

And you were right.

From your windows, you watched the three massive flying ships fall from the sky, indicating everyone who needed to be brought down had been successfully dealt with.

Now, you just had to wait for her to come home. Even though you knew she healed significantly faster than the vast majority of humans, you still had the first aid kit ready, just like you always did.

Hours upon hours passed without the familiar sound of the front door being unlocked.

Although you knew they had more than likely ditched them to ensure they couldn’t be tracked, you tried Natasha’s and Steve’s phones more times than you could count.

A point was reached where every tick of the clock, every unanswered call and text, worsened your already crippling panic.

The entirely of the night was spent sobbing and mentally pleading to whoever might have been listening. Only were those times interrupted by ones where you lost all control of your breathing.

Long after the sun had turned the dark sky into an obnoxiously bright shade of blue, you were nothing more than a motionless ball on the couch with tears still silently streaming from your eyes.

At some point in the midst of mindlessly watching the news for any mention of your girlfriend, you slipped into a heavy, dreamless sleep. It was the type that’s so deep it felt like no more than a few minutes had passed when you were startled awake.

“Sorry,” Natasha apologized softly about the sound the door made from being opened too hard. “I thought you would be at-“

Her words stopped when you practically fell into her embrace.

You were so numb you hadn’t even felt yourself rise from the couch and walk towards her. Only now that her arms were tightly wrapped around it did you come back to your body.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” you sobbed into the crook of her neck.

Her already stiff body went rigid. Shame was dripping from her voice as she told you, “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I never wanted you know those things. I’m sorry this was the way you had to find out what sort of person I truly am.”

You pulled back just enough to look at her; you were sure your confusion was shown in how your brows scrunched above your bloodshot, wet eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

“How if you weren’t going to come home, you could have at least called to tell me you weren’t…” you trailed off, unable to get your hoarse vocal cords to form the final word. “…to tell me you were okay.”

Natasha’s mouth curved into a deep frown, as yours quivered with urge to cry again.

Before she had the chance to speak, you went on to ask, “Why didn’t you come home?”

Her hold around you and her guilt-filled gaze fell all at once. The loss of contact after such a horrific time was nearly painful. “I didn’t think you would want me here anymore.”

No matter how broken a heart is, it can still be broken more and more. How yours felt after hearing her say such a thing was proof.

“What are you talking about, Nat? When would I ever not want you here?”

Hesitantly, she asked you, “Have you not been online?”

“No, I haven’t been online,” you answered in frustration. “What could be so important that you’re asking this now?”

“Everything,” Natasha said, her head falling further than it already had. “Everything is on there. Everything from of how I was trained to my KGB mission reports to names of people I killed and how I did it… In order to expose the truth about S.H.I.E.L.D, I had to expose the truth about myself as well.”

You took in a few breaths in another attempt to calm your nerves at least a fraction. With still trembling hands, you held her perfect, bruised face and made her look at you.

“Nothing you leaked is your truth. I know your truth,” you said to her. “I wish you would acknowledge you were forced. You were forcibly trained; you were forced to carry out those missions; you were forced to making those kills.”

“It doesn’t matter because I’m still the one who did it. And if-whenever you see everything, you are not going to want me.” Water pooled in her eyes, as her voice cracked just before she finished.

“You’re wrong,” you insisted. “I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I love you, and when I say that—every time I have said that—I mean I love you unconditionally.”

The final syllable just barely made it out of your sore throat before her plush lips attached to yours.

Her strong arms pulled your body flush against hers, as your fingers tangled in her smooth hair, ensuring the passionate, searing kiss continued.

You weren’t sure how long it lasted; all you knew was whenever it ended, neither of you were willing to separate in any other way.

“I was so afraid, Nat,” you shared. “I-I thought you…had been taken from me.”

“Never, moye serdtse. I’m sorry I let my self-doubt put you through this. But, know the only way you will ever get rid of me is if you do it yourself. Otherwise, I’m here; I’ll always be here.”

“Promise?” You didn’t care the question made you sound like a little kid.

“I promise.”

After a second, lingering kiss, you released each other long enough to move into your shared bedroom.

Natasha let you tend to each of her bruises, scratches, and marks, even though you both knew it was unnecessary. She would never pass up an opportunity for you to care for her—something she silently craved for the entirety of her life.

When you both settled in the bed, she couldn’t control her smile from you wrapping yourself around her like a vine.

“I love you so much,” Natasha said softly, her featherlight kisses on your forehead adding to the heaviness of your still-puffy eyelids.

“And I love you, all of you.”

The words echoed in her head as you nuzzled your face into her neck.

You loved her. All of her. And she believed you, despite knowing she would probably never understand how someone like you could feel such devotion to someone like her.

Despite her own exhaustion, Natasha did not fall asleep within the next few minutes like you did. Instead, she watched you intently.

Her mind was much too preoccupied with memories of the years she believed she would never find love. All she could wonder was how she would have reacted if someone had told her there would come a day where she was not only loved and in love, but was to a level so deep, it could only be described as unconditional.

| Masterlist |

[tloujm]

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah. 

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you. 

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further. 

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you. 

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented. 

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.

[grittyreadsfic]

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

or

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

__

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

[twiceasfrustrating]

Absolutely Nothing

I said I wouldn't post my new fic until after SWBQ is done, but I want to begin posting it before S4 drops. It won't update consistently atm, but it's there... I will only be posting the first two chapters to Tumblr. Everything else is going on AO3 because Tumblr is not longfic friendly.

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: Gen

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Characters: Main Character, Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, Solomon, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Original Angel Character(s)

Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, War, Trauma, Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Canon is like a vampire, it can't enter this house unless I let it, Emotional Baggage, Lies, Manipulation, Ships not intended but I'm not stopping you

Summary: War is not unknown to the three realms, but that does not make them any less a tragedy of strategy. Though relations between the three have never been favorable, they have never truly gone to battle with each other. At least, not until now. The heavens have been planning for a long time and have finally decided to execute their machinations. Now it is time to see how every piece will play out this bloody battle.

A/N: These tags are for the overarching fic, not the first two chapters. Only Lucifer, Simeon, Micheal, and Gabriel show up in the first two chapters.

Chapter 1: I Will Not Go With You

“We’re heading for a war,” Lucifer warned, “and I want you to come with me.”

Simeon solemnly blinked a few times before closing his eyes. The weight of the choices laid before him pricked at the edges of his mind. He’d known this was coming. He’d known for a long time that this question would eventually be asked of him and for just as long he’d known what his answer would be, “I must decline.”

“Why?” Lucifer spat out, “Simeon, you have to know what’s about to happen. If we don’t fight then Lilith-”

“I am not stopping you from this rebellion.” He opened his eyes and looked to the pages stacked neatly in the corner of his desk, carefully flipping through the avalanche of writings he’d collected over the years. Somewhere, buried deep in the pile, he vaguely recalled his moment; where his brother would ask him to do the impossible. He’d hidden it away from prying eyes, afraid that others would find it and interpret it as he had. Though, even if they had read it and understood what the contents were, it was nigh impossible to change the events that were foretold.

He pulled the page from the pile, taking care so the others above it would not collapse onto the delicately inlaid wood of his desk, and perused the contents held within. The paper was so old that it had begun to grow fragile to the touch and discolor at the edges. Simeon desperately wished that time had chosen not to show its touch on this particular relic he would rather have forgotten about. It was frightening how long he’d known about this day and he would rather pretend he was shocked when Lucifer had come to him. Sometimes, having a glimpse into what would eventually be was a cruel reality.

That brother, who would come in need of his fellow, will find no quarter. So shall he return with hands left empty, but convictions emboldened by the forge of his stature. He shall take with him those who share his resolve and lead them to where metal sings and cries. Blood shall be shed but on one side, though the cost of the blood spilled shall

It was an old, short paragraph he wished he could forget. Though he could never truly put it out of his mind, because he knew it was left unfinished and his mind and pen longed to see the end of the story. However, his heart and will would prefer not to know every detail of this particular future. For so long, he’d clung to that final shall and hoped that not knowing the entirety of the story would somehow keep it from unfolding. However, his pen only put the stories to page. He was not responsible for the events that inspired him to write.

“You will have to make do with those who are already on your side. No one else will turn their back on Father for your cause.” It was the only warning he could give. In those words he hid the message that Lucifer should tell no one else. If war was approaching, then it was better he have the element of surprise.

Lucifer could only stare at him in disbelief, “Is that your answer?”

“It always was.” He placed the paper face down atop the pile, “I cannot aid you in this, Lucifer.”

“Then you would fight against me? You would condemn Lilith in the same way as our Father?” His voice shook, the rage building inside of him clearly beginning to boil over even as he tried to contain it.

“I will not betray my family.” Simeon’s face remained unchanged as he pushed his chair away from the desk and rose to his feet. Despite the malicious aura that began to circle around his fellow Seraphim, he approached with an unguarded stance until they were only an arm’s reach away from one another. No matter how upset Lucifer may become, Simeon would not fear him. Though, he did fear *for* him, “You and she are still of my kind and that means I will not meet you on the battlefield.”

Lucifer’s eyes widened at the declaration. This time, it was his turn to fear for the other, “You can’t stay out of this. You know they won’t allow you.” If he did try to remain on the sidelines, Simeon would still be seen as a traitor. Not in the same vein as him and his siblings, but a traitor nonetheless, “I won’t ask you to fight if you really refuse to lift your blade, but you can’t stay here.”

“As much as you and Lilith are my family, so are Micheal, Raphael, Uriel, and Gabriel. I cannot leave them.”

“Simeon…”

Simeon’s lips pulled back into a smile and he let out the shortest of laughs, “You worry far too much, Lucy. You are aware that I am still a Seraphim, are you not? Even if I do not step onto the battlefield, I do not believe I am in nearly as much danger as you are putting yourself in.” He wanted to reach out and touch his brother one last time as the fear of the unknown overtook him, but he kept his hand within his own space. He did not know what would happen at the end of all of this, but he knew it would not be the same and reaching out to hold onto what they had would only pain them both.

Lucifer looked over the other angel’s shoulder, toward the pile of papers where Simeon had placed one face down. Countless writings that revealed the future to their author and Lucifer did not envy that gift. Others often wished to know what would be, but he had seen far too many times the burden placed on Simeon for having such a skill; the amount of times he had been made to see both grace and tragedy was carved on his face, just behind that smile. That is why, despite knowing that whatever was on that page was related to this very discussion and his ultimate goal, he would not pry. It was not as if knowing the future allowed it to be changed anyway.

“We’ll still be on opposing sides, you know?” No matter how much Simeon proclaimed not to betray his family, that was an unavoidable truth.

He nodded, “I am aware.”

“And you refuse to go against your family?”

This time his confirmation was wordless.

Lucifer took in a deep breath, “Then once the battle begins, I believe we can hardly be considered family anymore.”

Large blue eyes shot up to look at his pale face. It seemed that Lucifer had said something Simeon hadn’t expected, “What?”

“You will not betray your family, but you know they will not allow you to remain neutral in this. As soon as the drums of war beat, it is fine to stop thinking of me as your brother.”

There was a long moment of silence before Simeon could reply, “You cannot ask me that.”

“I am not asking. I am stating a truth,” one that would hopefully allow Simeon a way to follow his morals and gain some leniency if he continued to insist on this path, “I refuse to be your brother from that moment on.”

“Please... you cannot ask that of me.”

“I am not asking anything of you. I am simply stating where we will stand.” And now he needed to leave before the hurt welling in Simeon’s eyes tugged at his heart anymore and shattered his resolve.

He dipped his head in a polite bow, “Thank you for your time, Simeon. I do hope we may speak like this again.” He turned on his heels, refusing to truly look at the other angel again. His only goal was the door, where he opened it wide and stepped through the threshold.

“Lucifer! Wait!”

It took far more will than Lucifer would ever care to admit as he shut the door behind him without saying another word, and even more to walk away.

-----------------------

Chapter 2: Traitor

“How long have you known?” Micheal nearly growled as he stared down Simeon where he kneeled. His pale blue eyes ran wild with rage and it was clear he was just barely holding himself together. That was to be expected after everything he had just been through. Lucifer was unapologetically his favorite brother so it was unimaginable the distress he was in right now as he came to terms with having lost a member of his family. They had been like two halves of a whole, and now they were fractured.

“How long have I known what?” Simeon asked, feigning ignorance.

“That Lucifer would lead a rebellion against Father!” Micheal’s voice raised so loud that the room literally shook around him.

“Calm yourself, Micheal,” a melodious voice shushed him and lithe hands rested on his shoulders to hold him steady, “We’ve lost enough of our siblings today. There is no reason to lose yourself and risk losing another.”

“You would call him our brother after that disgraceful scene, Gabriel?” The disgust in his voice was clear and overwhelming, “He knew this would happen and refused to warn us or lift a finger. Everything we lost today is because of him.” Simeon had to know about today. He was blessed with the gift of prophecy and spent his time writing what was to come. If he had simply shared whatever he knew about today, Micheal knows they could have prevented the rebellion. He knows that he could have convinced Lucifer to stay somehow. Instead, he was left to face his own brother on the battlefield. He could still recall the cold eyes Lucifer had looked at him with as if they barely knew one another. That sight would never leave the darkest parts of his mind.

“You are blinded by your pain, Micheal.” She removed her hand from his shoulders and moved to stand over Simeon, “He is clearly as much our brother as ever. If he were against us he would have joined Lucifer, but Father has deemed that he is still worthy of his halo. Is that not enough for you?”

Micheal chuckled darkly before answering, “Uriel nearly lost an arm and he’s one of the lucky ones.” Even with so few numbers on their side, the rebellion had a gifted Dominion that made the most of their small force.

“And everyone harmed will heal, but we gain nothing in dividing ourselves further, and our brother has already been punished for his transgressions.” She took a knee before Simeon, reaching out her hand and running her fingers through his silken hair, “Will you not put our brother’s worries at ease, Simeon?”

Simeon knew the threat in those words. As kind as Gabriel pretended to be, she was someone he feared far more than Micheal. Not because she was stronger, but because she knew exactly how to most hurt those who upset her. As such, he had no interest in declining her wish, even if what she was asking for was for him to show his shame.

He took a deep breath before unfurling his wings behind him. They shimmered golden in the neverending light of the Celestial Realm, a blessing bestowed upon him by their Father that reflected his very essence. Every angel had such a blessing; different colors, shapes, a range of sizes, and lays of their feathers all differed from angel to angel all dependent on their Father’s grace. That included how high in their Father’s favor they were, and it was obvious at a glance just how out of favor Simeon had fallen. His six beautiful wings, the blessing afforded to all Seraphim, had been reduced to a simple two.

Gabriel’s eyes filled with pity for him but Micheal’s face twisted in glee and disdain, “Is that all? You betray us and all Father does is reduce your rank.” The laugh that left his throat was so dry that it sounded like it hurt, “You must really be beloved to get off with such a light sentence.” If it was up to Micheal himself, Simeon would face the same punishment as Lilith.

“Still your anger, Micheal. As you can see, Father has spoken.” She raised to her feet once more, her nails pulling painfully at Simeon’s hair as she stepped away from him, “Simeon is still of our kind and as one of our subordinates it is our duty to shepherd him.”

A wicked smile crossed Micheal’s face as he continued to look down on Simeon and his now unsightly form that marked his betrayal, “You may be correct, Gabriel. It is only right that we guide lost sheep, especially those of our own flock.”

[buckyownsmylife]

t r e a c h e r o u s - chapter ii

for general warnings, author’s notes and disclaimer, please go to the fic’s masterlist 

if you’re interested, you can join my taglist

A/N for this chapter: still no smut on this one, you guys - but the next three will be pretty much pwp, so this is just me creating the little plot necessary to better enjoy the rest. That being said, this chapter is just the conversation between Sebastian and Chris that leads to the voyeurism (and subsequent affair), so if you want to skip, it’s absolutely fine. In fact, if you’re uncomfortable seeing Chris being manipulative and a lousy friend (or knowing Seb’s thoughts and feelings considering this fic is about him being cheated on), perhaps it’s best to ignore it. I still hope you guys will enjoy it, I can’t wait for the next chapter already!

Chris’ P.O.V.

I smiled as I saw Sebastian appear through the bar’s door. “Hey, man!” I called out to him, who quickly made his way towards the table I had picked out for us tonight. Despite not feeling worried after he had texted asking to see me tonight, the look on his face definitely scared me.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” My friend simply signaled for the same beer as me before finally taking a deep breath to answer.

“It’s Y/N.” I tried to ignore how those words made me feel. Ever since Sebastian had introduced me to his girlfriend, I had been having a hard time to keep her out of my head. It was particularly hard to be around her, whenever he brought her to parties or whatever. Not only did she have an incredibly tempting body, but her personality was equally intoxicating, and I loved talking to her whenever he brought her around. Despite being younger, she had a brilliant mind and the most wicked sense of humour.

It wasn’t rare that I found myself envying Sebastian for having met her first.

“What’s wrong?” I asked when the surprise finally started to wear down. “Did you guys break up?” It took a lot more effort than I expected to keep the excitement out of my tone.

“No. Well, not yet. To be completely honest, we almost did, actually.” Sighing, he took a swig of his bottle before continuing. I figured he needed the courage. “She’s… Ok, so you know how she’s... younger than us?”

Nodding, I wordlessly signaled for him to continue, growing more interested in this subject by the second.

“Every time she tried to initiate… you know, sexual activities, I’ve found myself unable to… perform.” I had to bite my lip not to laugh. Here I was, having to ignore a boner every time I so much as thought about my friend’s girlfriend and he couldn’t even get it up for her.

“Shit, man. I’m sorry to hear that. But is it only because of the age thing?” Sebastian nodded at my question.

“I mean, yeah. Obviously, I can see that she’s attractive, but for whatever reason, I can’t find myself being attracted to her. At least not when we try to initiate something. Everytime we touch I feel like a predator or whatever.” I took a deep breath before asking my next question.

“So now, what? You’re going to keep dating without having sex?” He just shrugged, a frown on his face.

“I’d be happy to, but Y/N is a ‘very sexual person’, as she likes to say. Despite the fact that I don’t see her that way.” A low chuckle escaped his chest, but it was clear to see that he felt low about the subject. “She thinks it’s better for us to break up than to keep ourselves in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill us.”

I was once again impressed by the maturity of the woman. “Sorry, man, but I have to agree with her.” My friend sighed, letting his head fall down on the table.

Seb’s P.O.V.

“You think I don’t know that? Shit, but I love her, man. I really do. I don’t want to have to learn how to live without her.” I still kept my head down as I confessed this, but I knew Chris had heard me. He didn’t offer me any words of courage, though, so I ended up raising my gaze to look at him again.

At the sight of my eyes once more, he finally spoke. “Well, what are you going to do, then?” I shrugged, taking the opportunity to take another swig of my beer.

“I don’t know. She offered me a lot of ideas, we’re supposed to think about what we can do to change my way of viewing her, and then reconvene, but I’m literally flying blind over here.”

Chris didn’t speak for a bit, opting to drink a bit more before finally asking, “What kind of ideas?” Should it be weird to talk about this with my best friend in the middle of a crowded bar? I don’t know, but I needed any help I could get, so this was happening.

“I don’t know, anything, really? She offered to film a sex tape, we’ve already tried watching porn together, she tried giving me a lap dance… She even asked if seeing her being fucked by someone else wouldn’t help it.”

Chris tensed up at the suggestion and I silently appreciated his effort not to laugh.

“She… She offered to let someone else fuck her in front of you?” He didn’t sound judgmental as he asked for clarification, so I didn’t mind giving it to him.

“Yeah. She thinks maybe that will make me see her in a different way.” For a second, Chris didn’t say anything else. But then he asked something I wasn’t anticipating.

“Well… will it?” Huh. I hadn’t actually given it a lot of thought. I’d been more preoccupied with the possibility of losing her, but the truth was, I had to figure out what could be done so that wouldn’t happen. And that was one of her suggestions.

“I mean… probably? I think it’d play with some aspect of jealousy and possession, while still being much sexier than simply watching porn or a homemade video together. I… I think I could see myself doing that, the only question is… who would we invite to do this?” 

I played with the bottle in my hands as I pondered over the question, until Chris cleared his throat, calling my attention to him. “Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Besides listening to you, of course.” He didn’t meet my eyes, and I could see that he was a bit uncomfortable. Maybe the subject of our conversation had finally dawned upon him. Or maybe…

Did he think I’d invite him? Was that why he was fidgety? He didn’t want to have to tell me no? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Chris was, in fact, the best option to do this with. To start off, he was the only person besides me and Y/N who knew about our situation. He was my best friend and he was good friends with her, and he’d never once done anything to make me feel jealous of her.

“Chris…” I called his attention. “Listen, bud… You can say no and I will not be angry or disappointed, really, but I have to ask. Would you consider doing this for us?” His eyes pierced mine in the dim light of the bar, and for a few seconds, he said nothing. I didn’t interrupt the relative silence that’d fallen upon us either, wanting to give him the time to think.

Just when I was able to offer him the possibility of answering me some other day, he nodded, the beer bottle between his lips as he took a sip. “Sure, man. I can do this for you. And I think it’s the best option, right? Definitely better than involving another person in your relationship. At least, you can trust me.”

He was right. I trusted Chris, that’s why I told him about what was going on in the first place. We made a toast to our undying friendship and I promised to text him after I’d spoken to Y/N, so we could figure out the details. That night, I went home extremely thankful for having a friend like Chris, and the hope that my relationship could be salvaged in the end.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

OK, so, this headcanon has been on my mind for a while now and I just have to share it or I'll go crazy!

There is this sort of A/U I use when writing for Telltale Riddler and Telltale Penguin. Well, actually, it's an A/U for "Batman: The Telltale Series" as whole but anyway....

My go-to o/c, Sara, who has appeared in my Arkham Knight Eddie fics and drabbles, is paired up with Telltale Riddler because that's how shit goes around here. I h/c that she gets along well with the other members of The Pact, even John Doe despite how much he and Edward dislike each other. Edward allows Sara to be friends with John, though, because he loves her and wants her to be happy.

Oz and Sara have a closer bond, though. Even though I h/c Oz as being bisexual and yeah, he has an attraction to both Sara and Edward, it's not really that strong. He sees Sara as a friend and maybe even like a sister, and Edward is...well, we'll get to that soon.

Of all the members of The Pact, Oz seems to be the only one who's almost entirely motivated by his parents' unfair deaths. Sure, Oz likes power as much as the next Gotham Rogue, but he does still mourn the loss of his parents, and getting back their land and taking over Wayne Enterprises are just two ways to avenge them.

(LOOOOONG post continues under the cut)

What also didn't help matters was Oz was bullied by other kids after his dad committed suicide and his mom was (forcibly) committed to Arkham Asylum. So, it was like rubbing salt in an already deeply painful wound. I think Oz felt alone even with Bruce, and I don't think Oz formed any sort of close bond with anyone while he was overseas. Lady Arkham is, at the end of the day, an ally to Oz and someone he respects but I don't see them being friends and certainly not a couple.

In my A/U, the Children of Arkham don't exist in the same way as they do in the game, and Lady Arkham is non-existent. No, I'm not one of "those" fans who hates on anyone who could be paired with one of her fictional others. I just don't have a need for her in my A/U because Oz gets what he wants with the help of the Pact.

Probably goes without saying that Edward's arrival in Gotham is much more successful, and he's once again an imposing threat and intimidating leader.

Probably worth noting that Bruce isn't in the picture for...whatever reason. I just...don't have him in the A/U. His dad definitely still existed, but Bruce died with his parents in my A/U so no Batman for Gotham. Wayne Enterprises was then much easier to overtake.

Anyway, so, Oz clearly values family even if he doesn't openly admit it. I really see him being like that. I think he also would value true friendship since he'd spent so much time growing up alone, angry, bitter, and hurt following what happened with his parents. So, for him, The Pact is sort of like family, and Sara and Edward are the two he's closest to.

No, Sara isn't a member of The Pact. She's just an ordinary woman. Edward (and the others) keep her out of their business, though. For Edward, it's because he doesn't want her to be seen as an accomplice in his crimes. If she were captured, then the authorities would not be able to imprison her because she literally doesn't know about Edward's "work" as Riddler. Well, she KNOWS but she's never involved in his plans, never contributes ideas to them.

Also, she can't be accused of harboring a criminal because she lives with Edward. It's a Dom/Sub thing, a sort of Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby thing but not, like, gross. She is still a bargaining chip, yes, but anyone who would dare to kidnap her and demand ransom from Edward or just Edward himself would be fucking DEAD. I'm not even kidding. Edward would fuck them up so badly -- and with the help of the Pact because they like Sara and don't wish for her to be harmed.

So, yeah, don't fuck with Telltale Riddler's woman, all right? He's sadistic and violent when he's in a good mood. Can you imagine how he'd be when he's pissed off? And don't even get me started on Sara being killed by an enemy of Riddler. Motherfucker would burn down the whole city if he had to. He'd kill the culprits slowly only after killing their family and friends. He'd make it 150% even.

And I think the loss of the only person he'd ever cared for would destroy the last shreds of Edward's humanity, LOTUS virus or not. He'd truly be Riddler and would be more of a monster than a man.

But is Sara the only one Edward cares so much for? Yes, he has great respect for Bane and Selina, the two members of the Pact he has known longer than the others and places the most trust in. However, in my A/U, he feels the same for Oz -- maybe more so for Oz because he's such a close friend to Sara. If something happened to Edward, he'd trust Bane, Selina, and Oz to take care of her, and Oz is probably the only man he knows who is best suited for her in a romantic sense (in Edward's mind, that is).

Back to Oz and his family -- I think Oz is a little shit and yes, he'd annoy Edward deliberately at times. However, unlike John Doe, I don't think there would be animosity between them. I can see Oz being impressed and even amused that Riddler scared the shit out of Wayne, Falcone, and Hill -- the three responsible for his family's downfall.

Edward wasn't involved. I mean, it doesn't state so in the games, and honestly? I can't see him getting involved with ANYTHING that concerns those three idiots. I can picture Edward viewing Wayne, Falcone, and Hill as greedy thugs as opposed to legitimate crime bosses (and I mean, he's kind of right). I don't see Edward being interested in forcing anyone to give up their land and their business. I just...don't think he's that obsessed with power. When he was in Gotham in the past, he left the Three Stooges alone and they left him alone. I think Edward was satisfied with what he had and didn't want to be so petty and manipulative as to ruin a family who did nothing to him.

Sure, the Cobblepots did nothing for Edward but they never did anything to him or threaten to do so. I do think that, if the Cobblepots had come to Edward for help, he would have helped. Although, at the time, it would have been primarily because he wanted to ruin the plans of Wayne, Hill, and Falcone. Their business would now be his business, and they can fuck right off if they think they can get ANYTHING they want from him.

Leave the Cobblepots alone or Edward would personally fuck up Wayne, Falcone, and Hill for overstepping their boundaries. And he'd do it, and those three idiots would just let it go, not wanting to piss off The Riddler.

Now, in the present, Edward knows Oz, the Cobblept's son and heir to their fortune and land, and he...grows to care for Oz. At first, it's because Oz is good friends with Sara, Edward's girlfriend, and one true love. But he genuinely grows to care for the younger man. Telltale's Penguin is really a tragic character (not saying his other incarnations aren't, but this one seems to hit me more in the feels, especially with the video footage of Oz's poor mom being drugged and forced into Arkham Asylum). Edward isn't the most loving and compassionate person but spending so much time with Oz, getting to know him, I think he'd find Oz endearing. Certainly capable since Oz is a skilled fighter and master manipulator, but he's motivated due to personal reasons.

Oz holds no ill will towards Edward because the older man never contributed to his family's downfall. Yeah, he didn't help but Oz is just glad that he didn't make things worse. Edward does explain why he would have helped the Cobblepots had they come to him for protection from Wayne, Falcone, and Hill, and Oz is grateful but also kind of...put off. Edward would have helped his family had they come to him for help, but mostly because Edward wanted to fuck with the other 3 crime bosses and sabotage their greedy, petty plans.

Oz doesn't dwell on it nor does he hold a grudge against Edward over it. Edward clearly loves Sara, one of Oz's closest friends, and the man still has some humanity left in him. Wayne, Falcone, and Hill were just straight-up bastards in Oz's eyes, even if Thomas tried to sacrifice himself to save his wife and son.

I picture Edward harboring guilt, though, as time goes on. He sees how much Oz and Sara get alone, realizes that the younger man is certainly a capable leader, and also finds Oz's obnoxiousness and kind of amusing. Oz never tries to hurt Edward with his words, nor does he ever make threats. John Doe, on the other hand, has no problem with speaking in a demeaning manner to and about Edward.

For Oz, I think he could see Edward as a father figure over time. Edward is certainly not...fatherly material, but I don't think anyone else in The Pact would be seen by Oz in such a way. They're too young and he just doesn't have that close of a bond with them.

Oz likes to tease Edward and call him "Granddad," but it's out of affection. He won't say this out loud of course, but it's true. He also respects, admires, and trusts Edward, finding the older man to be the type of person he could look up to as a father-like figure.

(Yes, again, Telltale Ed isn't fatherly at all but we're talking about the Gotham Rogues here, the majority of who are mentally not right).

Now, this is where my idea comes in: Say, Sara and Oz are both abducted by The Agency because, I dunno, they went out together to see a movie or something. Sara is only useful as a bargaining chip but they have no reason to imprison her, nor would they actually harm her. In the end, she's an ordinary citizen in love with a criminal mastermind (how romantic).

Oz, though, IS a criminal mastermind, and he's wanted by ALL the authorities. The Agency has no problem keeping him locked up, be it in prison or by making him a human guinea pig to get out of going to prison. With Sara safe, Oz has no reason to give up Edward and willingly lets himself be locked up, thus risking the loss of all he's achieved for the sake of his deceased parents.

Edward then has to make a choice: it's either risk losing his freedom and confronting The Agency head-on on their turf but saving Oz in the process, or letting Oz be imprisoned and thus, lose everything he's worked for, but Edward keeps his freedom. We know Edward doesn't want to go back to The Agency after what they did to him, but...he can't bring himself to let Oz take the fall. He's shocked that Oz is willingly putting himself on the line for Edward's sake, and now the older man can only think of his parents.

Edward didn't contribute to the Cobblepot's suffering...but he didn't aid them, either. And here is Oz, obviously living a life of crime, bitterness, and sorrow because his parents were taken from him by three greedy crime bosses.

This actually reminds me of "Arcane," where Silco has the opportunity to have all he's been working so hard for but he has to give up his adopted daughter, Jinx, to the proper authorities. He can't bring himself to do it and is willing to sacrifice everything to keep her safe. I feel like Edward would find himself in the same position and mindset with Oz in this situation and would risk losing his freedom to save Oz from more suffering. Edward never asked Oz to put his life on the line for him, and wouldn't have blamed him for turning Edward over in exchange for freedom and/or Sara's safety.

Yet, here Oz is, sitting quietly in a cell and ready to sacrifice all he's achieved to keep Edward, his "Granddad," his ... dad safe.

"Is there anything more undoing than a son?"

(And yeah, Edward would save Oz...and would find a way to free himself again and would absolutely annihilate The Agency in retaliation for kidnapping Oz and Sara and for threatening to make Oz into an experiment)

So, what do you guys think? Is this headcanon any good, does it make any sense? I'm curious to know your thoughts!

[tundrainafrica]

hi! i just wanted ask how can you not be so pressured to change hange’s gender to your fics (she to they/them) despite that many twitter users are saying that “au authors must use they/them to hange because they are canonically NB” . because to be honest, as an aspiring writer who is working on her first levihan fic, i feel so pressure or maybe obligied to use they/them pronouns for hange.

Hello Anon,

Thanks for the ask!

To be honest, I actually was pressured to use ‘they’ tbh. In fact, I was so pressured I actually did a lot of research on this and put a lot of thought into my decision to use ‘she’ as my chosen pronoun for Hange.

But tbh, I think I am pretty confident with the amount of research and the amount of thought I put into it that I don’t think I will be using ‘they’ in my fics anytime soon. 

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean at all that I don’t like reading ‘they’ fics nor that I don’t like seeing people use ‘they.’ Tbh I don’t really mind whatever people use? I can enjoy a fic with either pronoun, I can enjoy a good meta with either pronoun. I have my own personal reasons for using they. 

Some of the reasons why: 

Personal HC 

Personal HC but I’m still gonna drop this here. 

To make things clear, I headcanon Hange as gender fluid. I headcanon her as sexuality fluid that personally, I’m not too much a fan either of fics that portray Hange as overly feminine either. So I have seen people who request that we do not use overly female or feminine words with Hange. Which yes, I don’t do them. But was a peer pressured into not using them? 

No, not really. I just personally think Levi would prefer the word partner if he was with Hange. I personally think that Hange would not have liked to fall into traditional female roles either. 

At the same time, I thought about the concept of using ‘they’ as a pronoun with Hange then I couldn’t help but think, it just isn’t in my personal interpretation of Hange to correct people. Hange is too much of a free bird to actually care what people use. Hange would probably respond to he, she, they or whatever and she probably wouldn’t correct anyone calling her mr., mrs. etc.

And in the context of Filo soc med AUs, Hange would probably respond to ate, kuya. (And besides, what is the gender neutral form of ate or kuya??? Mamsir)

And generally the default for most people is to look at someone and think okay, she’s a girl, I think I’ll use ‘she’ first. Or okay, that’s a guy, I think I’ll use ‘he’ first and what usually happens is if anyone is particularly conscious about the pronoun used on them, they will correct the other person. 

But there are people out there, who don’t care whether someone uses she, he, they, mr., mrs, ma’am, sir. For example, personally for me, I wouldn’t bother to correct anyone. And I headcanon that Levi and Hange wouldn’t have cared either. 

I’m sure people who read my fics would notice, I do put a lot of research when I write because I like to make things as realistic and as in character as possible.  So to get into the spirit of my fic and whatever setting I’m writing, I try to capture everything to a T and given the overall landscape and setting I’m writing about and given my own headcanons of Levi and Hange I decided on she.

Because in my headcanon, if someone were to ask Hange what pronoun she preferred? Hange probably would have said any. 

Likewise, if anyone asked Hange what her gender was, Hange probably would have said ‘any’ also.

And the setting of the show is practically medieval and gender identity is a relatively new concept. I don’t think many people would have spent too much time pondering ideas like individualism and  gender identity when they’re literally facing death everyday.  Actually a lot of the great thinking happened after the war, and when there was actually food on the table. Because people weren’t actually hungry everyday anymore so they had time to think about more modern thoughts. 

‘She’ is still an NB pronoun 

I answered this in another ask already. But the point behind this, is although ‘they’ is the go to non binary pronoun, there are NB people who go by she too. And creating this idea that all gender fluid characters HAVE to go by ‘they’ is dangerous in itself because the reason we had gender discrimination in the first place is because we had these boxes to fit ourselves into. So if a NB person wants to go by ‘she’ or ‘he’ or ‘they’ who are we to stop them? 

And I said it many times myself. We will never know which pronoun Hange would have preferred for herself. 

I get confused. 

This is a shallow reason but I’m gonna drop this here anyway. I get confused when I see ‘they.’ I read a lot of content which uses ‘they’ for Hange and I get confused a lot of the time that I have to read the sentences like three times because I end up thinking ‘Hange and who?’

I know I should have gotten used to it by now, but I still get confused because english is the only language I use on a regular basis that actually has such strict rules for how to navigate gendered pronouns.

I don’t wanna be peer pressured into doing shit just coz. 

Tbh, for me, as long as I did my research, as long as I can argue both sides as to why and as long as I am confident in the fact that I have thought about this enough before deciding on this, I will not change it. 

I am pretty convinced that a lot of people who actually go all the way as to attack someone on twitter and to cancel them (over a lot of topics tbh) haven’t done their due research. 

Because most of the people I know who have done their due research wouldn’t be fighting (on Twitter OF ALL PLACES) in the first place. 

Because doing actual research (which means reading articles which support both sides of the argument) will only make people realize that the world is too grey and too complex to ever make pushing their own agenda, ‘cancelling’ someone and calling them transphobic, homophobic, racist etc ect  or as they like to call ‘educating’ someone the right thing to do. Believe me, if people genuinely wanted to educate someone, they would slide into their DMs and calmly tell them their own opinion, ask why the other person believes a certiain way and you know, be ready to learn something too because education is a two way street. And if the conversation isn’t going anywhere, I think any level headed person would probbaly just give up and do something more worth while with their time than cancel some stranger on social media.

Regardless though, I respect either decision and I recognize the fact that a lot of Hange stans are very much more comfortable with the pronoun ‘they’ My general practice when navigating this sensitive topic is to use ‘they’ for Hange when talking to someone who prefers ‘they’ because it’s a conversation and in conversation, the space becomes something shared between me and the other person so I would do my part to make it as comfortable for them as possible. 

But here’s the thing, my fic is my space. It’s a house I built for myself and the readers are the visitors that come in and out as they please. No one is forced to read my fic and never have I and never will I tie someone down on a chair and not free them until they read my work. 

It’s my fic. It’s my work and I can do whatever I want with it.

People tend to forget that in the end this is a fandom space and people should be free to headcanon things however they want. They should be free to explore whatever themes they want. And I like to do my part to promote this type of environment by sticking to a few iron clad rules.

I write what I want to write.

Don’t like, don’t read.

Content is free. There’s a back button and if you do not appreciate the themes someone is exploring or the headcanons someone is applying to their fic, you may click the back button and look for something that doesn’t offend you. 

(I’m gonna end up digressing a bit here so feel free not to read the rant below)

There are an infinite number of headcanons and ideas which ideally should be able to exist. Yet because of this constant need to be politically correct and this constant fear that we might be offending someone and we might end up cancelled, a lot of people have been watching their own creative works more than necessary. 

I actually fear that there are a lot of good ideas and there are a lot of themes that could have been explored but weren’t. 

And this is why I love ao3 a lot. Ao3 is free from societal pressure, corporate synergy and I appreciate the fact that in that space, I’m free to explore whatever themes I want. I can read something pro-rape, I can read something anti-rape. I can read something pro abuse, I can read something anti-abuse etc etc. 

I personally have very liberal views and obviously I am not for rape or abuse in ANY situation.

But I am also the type of person who will read things that celebrate a controversial topic and things that will attack that same topic because I just generally want a more nuanced opinion on a lot of things. Because when I have seen both sides of the spectrum, then it’s just easier for me to proudly say ‘Yes, I believe this’ or ‘No, I don’t believe that.’

And I think these pieces should be available for other people to explore so that they can for themselves form more nuanced opinions on whatever topics come their way and the more sides people are aware of that exist, the less likely we’re going to end up with groupthink or hivemind situations which have fucked people over countless times in history already.

Should questionable content be widely available? Personally no but I don’t think it should be completely unavailable.

Regardless these potentially offensive pieces should exist and  I’m saying this for both controversial topics such as rape and abuse and something as relatively harmless as Hange being referred to as ‘she’ on a fic. All stories exploring every facet and every side regardless of how controversial should exist in this space because these promote discourse and they promote thinking. These pieces of work that explore taboo and offensive topics and the discourse these create only serve to make our opinions more nuanced so at least we aren’t blinded or we don’t have these half assed opinions only fueled by having read material created by people who are biased to one particular side. At least we have enough fuel for ourselves to say ‘Yes I have read this and now I can more proudly say I believe this more.’  

Whatever opinions I have made for myself about social issues are only how they are because I listen to both sides of the argument. I like to play devil’s advocate. I like to listen to people even if I don’t agree with what they’re saying. 

And I like finding compromises so that people can co-exist and I like tweaking my opinions everyday based on new information I learn.

And personally, there are so many views I hate and there are types of topics I personally would prefer not to explore but I still believe in the back of my mind they should exist. And if we do whitewash or try to force everyone to adjust their works to whatever side we deem is more ‘politically correct,’ then we will lose facets of the fandom that could have existed, that could have promoted a more colorful discourse and that could have sprouted new ideas and new ways of thinking which may be even more creative if people weren’t so scared to be cancelled or wrong.

It’s different in a conversation. I will adjust the way I speak, the way I navigate interactions with people in a shared space. 

But no one is forced to read my works no one is forced to read fanfiction so cancelling someone over how they go about their creative works will always be worse in my book than someone who is exploring problematic themes. (As long as that person tags their trigger material properly and isn’t forcing anyone to read it or forcing their own personal beliefs on anyone or attacking them)

Anyway, sorry for the long ass rant again but I hope you get the courage to use whatever pronouns you want for Hange. 

I hope this makes you realize that there really isn’t a black and white to this. And this is a fandom space. Do whatever you want. Headcanon whatever you want. Just be respectful and kind.