#and it's 10mg so i'm gonna have to split it in half and i don't have a pill splitter

[wickedhawtwexler]

i always knew that i was neurotic but the adderall shortage situation has really illuminated how much i physically cannot handle any change at all lmao

[mrsmarlasinger]

Took about three quarters of a 10mg edible...two and a half hours ago? I'm like the marijuana equivalent of lower second plateau right now, with the drowsy planted-in-bed factor of upper second plat. I feel way stupider on weed than dex though. It's very hard to type this, and I keep forgetting every damn little thing. No short-term memory, lads.

There is also a...I forgot what I was going to say. My thoughts feel flowy and slow and languid and...legato. And evanescent. See, I'm not that stupid. Anyway, I only just started listening to music, and...I accidentally moaned when the first song started ("U&ME" by alt-J) :/// I think I prefer music on DXM though. Dreamy, that was the word I was looking for earlier.

Anyway again...I forgot what I was going to say. Um. The body load is better than dex. But my face is a bit numb around my lips and my neck and my back and everything ache so bad. When I move my legs like when I'm crouching or something? It's like I can hyper-feel every part of my calves and knees when I get up, and I can feel the littlest misalignment of my knees and I have to be very careful because I feel like I'm about to dislocate them. Well, I'm just laying in bed right now in my room with a couple of my strings of fairy lights and my color-changing diffuser with some lavender oil in it.

God, I feel stupid. I feel like a goldfish, memory-wise. I had a really bad headache for a minute earlier but it's better now. I can tell I'm experiencing enhanced music appreciation, like as a Side Effect, because I'm hearing music in my head instead of my ears. It's migrated from my earbuds to the little dark room in my head. I am adding in retrospective paragraph breaks every time I've been writing for a while even though no one is gonna read this so it doesn't matter if it's one endless paragraph.

Um. I got the booster shot today. I thought I had COVID (because my mom does) even though the NAAT test was negative but now I am quite certain I don't. My mom is doing okay by the way.

Anyway, I am very cold, but this body load is much better than the runs and near-vomiting of DXM. But I hate being this foggy-brained. I generally feel quite coherent on dex. Am seeing things a little--just static and a few glitters in my vision and my bedroom floor is curving upward. Whoah. This has some dissociative effects, actually, 'cause I feel so spaced-out and everything is...more detailed and less cohesive, as if I'm seeing it enlarged on a computer screen while playing a video game (let's be real: Sims 4).

My limbs are full of static, kind of like before I have a seizure, which I now realize is because I have reflex anoxic seizures, which are triggered by my heart, so I imagine it's due to blood pressure changes. God, it is so fucking hard to write anything. I have to stop, I'm getting annoyed. Am I supposed to hit the Enter key once or twice after a paragraph while I'm on the app?

Anyway, I am feeling cold and slow and stupid and staticky and achey. I had some Brie and Havarti earlier and it was very nice. "I Didn't Change My Number" by Billie Eilish just started. I can hear her singing right in the front of my headspace. Wow. Anyway, I have no idea what I was gonna fucking say. Oh yeah, it was, do you call it a trip if it's just weed? Like do I say I'm tripping right now? Because I am seeing...halos. And afterglows.

Oh yeah, at first I started with just under half the edible, but then like maybe an hour or something later I took another quarter. But I started dosing three hours ago. Do you say "dosing" if it's not, like, pills? I only look at disso subreddits lol. I feel so dumb and lazy and dreamy right now. I've got to stop typing. I just feel like I'm missing everything I want to say. Anyway. I do realize I'm saying "anyway" a fuck-ton. Do you hyphenate "fuck ton"? Anyway. My neck hurts. I'm sleepy.

This is only my second time trying weed btw. The first time I split an edible with my friend and it literally did fucking nothing.