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oval3000 · 1 year ago

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Chapter 3

Yandere Teacher Nanami x Student Reader

Warning: Abuse, Smut, Abduction, Violence, Rough play, toxic behavior, age gap, everything from all above. Mainly from his point of view...somewhat... modern au- idk. College teacher x student.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

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He could hear the voice of his fellow female colleague, trying to get his attention. He could hear her light heels speeding up against the floors, "Mr. Nanami? Could you help me with the new test sheets? I have to print a lot and my students are going to come in a few minutes." He rolled his eyes. Not the first time his colleague asked for help even though it was her responsibility to do so herself.

"You were supposed to have them ready the day before," he turned around to face, having his head tilted a bit. He had things to do, and he was a busy man so when someone came in and stopped him, it irritated him dearly.

"I know, but I got caught with the time." She placed her hand on his biceps, she looked at him with a sad expression on her face, "Please."

At that moment he saw another colleague, "Mr. Yamagachi, can you help Miss. Ito with her work?"

"I'm pretty sure Mr. Yamagachi is busy." She smiled letting out a bit of laughter.

"So am I. Next time plan more so you can actually do your job." Nanami turned back around and exited the building. He got into his nice car and drove off.

He pulled up to his new two-story house brick, victorian, home. He closed the dark brown wood door behind him, dropping his briefcase on the floor. He took off his tan blazer off, hanging on the coat rack at the corner of the front entrance. He opened the door to his office and placed his items on the desk. He pinched the bridge of his glasses, pulling them off his face. As he sat down on his chair, his head swung back making him stare at the ceiling. He side-eyed his computer, moving the mouse to turn it on. quickly logging in and going through his gallery. He saw the portfolio of pictures and images of you. Pictures that he took of you during his class. They weren't clear pictures, mostly blurry due to the fact that he had to zoom through the lens to take the pic of you and no one else. A perk of having a bunch of students that don't pay attention is that students won't notice Nanami, sneaking, pulling out his phone, and taking a few pics of you. He made it seem like he was just using his phone, scrolling through whatever. Sure, he has the photo of you that you took when you got your school ID, but it just wasn't enough.

He looked around his desk and imagined the empty space to be filled with pictures of you and him together. Pictures of you holding children. If he wanted to go through this, he needed a nice home. A home that resembles having a family with plenty of rooms and space. He got up and went towards the master bedroom. He walked over to the windows, opening the white curtain revealing a big wood board that covered the whole window, behind the board was another set of white curtains. He tugged on the board to test the strength and smiled to himself to see how secure it was. It wasn't a permanent thing, he'll eventually take it off once you are comfortable. He doesn't even how you'll react towards this, towards him. Are you going to scream? Are you going to try and escape? Or are you going to accept him a be the perfect wife for him? Questions that he wants clear answers to, but the only thing he can get is theories.

He went towards the bed, tugging on the rope that was tied to the headboard, again smiling to himself on how secure it was. He quickly swept the empty side of the closet so it was ready for all of your things. He dusted off half of the empty drawers, ready to be stuffed with your undergarments. The room is fairly large. A nice comfy armrest chair in the corners with a matching stool at the front. The bed, a king-size bed, perfectly centered, the headboard up against the while, and two nightstands on either side of the bed. On the other side, across from the bed, is a door that leads to the bathroom. He picked up the brown, paper, bag from the chair and opened the door to the bathroom. He grabbed all the items from the brown, paper, bag and placed them on the bathroom counter. He crumbled the paper bag and tossed it in the trash. He placed the extra toothbrushes and toothpaste in one of the drawers. He placed the box of pads under the bathroom sink. All hygiene products, he placed them in their designated spot; shampoo, body wash, conditioner, and body scrub. He went back to the room and placed all other products into the white vanity that he built and got for you; hair brush, moisturiser, sunscreen, all types of serums, spray facial mist, hair ties, hair oils, hair blow dryer, lip oils, lip balms, and some nail polishes. The cashier who scanned of of his items was calling him sweet for getting all of this for his significant other. Nanami smiled and thanked her. It was sweet, so you would be happy to be here, right?

He quickly cleaned the rest of the house, settling everything in. Tidying up the kitchen and living room, leaving everything simple and clean. Of course, things can change once you're here. If you want to move things around or add things, Nanami made sure to keep it simple that way you can add your personal touch to the house. Nanami, resting on the couch, turning on the flat-screen TV, resting on top of the fireplace, pulled out his phone and went through your social media post. He never used social media, but he knew he was to get to know you a lot more, so he quickly downloaded them and made fake names. You kept things private so it was a hard time for him to get through, you had friends and relatives who weren't private and who posted things about you. He saw posts that your friends and relatives have put out like the day they took you to celebrate your birthday at a restaurant or when you went to the movies and they posted a 'best day ever' selfie with you in the background. He was lucky to remember the people you talked to when he saw you at the college campus or else he wouldn't know more about you.

He went through many scenarios in his head. Was this the right thing to do? Is this necessary? Would it be easier if he just talked to you and confessed his feelings towards you? After all, what's the worst that can happen? Him being rejected? No. He just can't accept that.

Not when he could feel your body heat as he leaned closer to you, hovering over you. "I'm having trouble with this one Mr. Nanami?"

He placed his hands in front of you almost caging you in. Your back was turned to him as you were sitting down, staring at the question with a wooden pencil in your hand. You were so oblivious about everything it made Nanami go feral. He leaned closer to you, his mouth near your neck, "What are you not understanding, sweetheart?"

"Which formula am I supposed to use when they didn't give the percent number on how much it's been missing?" You said, rereading the question in your head.

"Which one do you think would work the best when one variable is missing, love." His cock felt like it was going to explode with cum on how close and how cute you were to him. He loved this. He enjoyed this.

"This one?" You pointed to one of the formulas tilting your head a bit.

Nanami smiled, "Yes, correct. You're doing amazing." His lips parted, feeling his crotch area getting tight. He thought he was able to control himself by now but clearly, he wasn't. He was thankful that the chair was blocking his hard boner from your back or else his plan was going to come to an end and all of his hard work would've gone to the trash. he saw the way you quickly solved the question of how easily you cached on. His high hopes were showing. Maybe it wouldn't be hard?

Days would go by and eventually, you fully understood everything he had taught you that you miss. You asked Nanami if you were ready to retake the test and he was trying to insist that it's okay to take more time to study, but you told Nanami that you are ready. Nanami enjoyed these moments he had with you even though you had no idea what was going on, he didn't want it to end. He needed you.

He knew that his time was coming close, so when he saw you outside the campus building, sitting on one of the benches, he walked up to you. "Everything alright, (Y/n)?"

You looked up from your phone, "Yes, I'm just waiting for my cab"

"Well," he looked around to find no one. The time stamp during this moment is where there are fewer students, and less crowded. "If you want, I can take you? I'm heading out for my lunch break, I can take you home." You weren't really sure about it. Nanami could see that you were hesitant. "It'll be no problem. Besides you most likely have things to do. Don't want to waste time waiting, right?"

"Right. Okay." You got up, quickly canceling your ride." Thank you, Mr. Nanami." You followed him to his. He opened the passenger side for you. When you got inside his car you were quite surprised at how neat and clean his car was. "You have a nice car, sir."

"Really? I mean, it's just a car in average condition." He said, starting his car and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Well, I guess I've never seen a guy keeping his car in good shape." You said, trying not to keep things awkward between the both of you. You never head a teacher driving you home or anywhere. Yes, you went inside strangers' cars, mainly cab and Uber drivers that you contacted before, but never someone that you sort of knew and definitely never a teacher.

"Never seen a guy have a clean car?" He questioned, giving you glances.

"No. My ex-boyfriend was really messy. He always had a messy and smelly car." You clutched your bag close to you.

Nanami felt his throat a bit dry. His hands were gripping the steering wheel. "Ex-boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I used to date this one guy. He was my first boyfriend. We only lasted like three months so I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend. We hardly did anything together." You said. You looked out at the window and realized something. "Wait," Nanami pulled over to a curb in an area where it was isolated, and pulled out a white cloth while you stared out at the window, "I never even told you where I lived, I liv-" You couldn't finish the sentence because Nanami quickly covered your mouth.

The cloth had two pills in it, "That's it." Nanami felt his arm getting slapped repeatedly by you. He could hear your muffled screams, which made him pull you closer, lifting your head up so the pills could go down. You felt the small pills going down your throat. You felt like you were going to choke, so you had no choice, but to swallow them. It was painful and soon you felt weak. "Good girl." Eventually, you fell into your sleep. He got your phone and took out the memory card and battery before tossing it out. Nanami continued to drive off.

He pulled up to the house and parked in the garage that was connected to the house. He opened his door and quickly went towards yours. He opened the passenger door and carried you out bridal style. He entered the home and headed upstairs. He placed you on the bed and quickly tied your hands with the ropes that were tied to the headboard.

He finally took a deep breath, falling down on the bed next to you. He looked over his side and stared at you. He stared at the ceiling, feeling his heartbeat slowing down a bit. His palms began to feel less shaky and the sweat forming finally calmed down.

He sat up covering his face with his hands. "What the hell am I doing?" He got up and paced around the room staring at your unconscious body. He got on the bed and hovered over you. "You're driving me crazy," he whispered to you. He placed his hand on your waist, " You're doing this to me." He placed a light kiss on your lips.

He got up and headed down to the kitchen and decided to make a light sandwich. After he finished he went to the car and gathered the rest of your things. He went through your bag and found your wallet. He found your IDs and cards.

He heard light noises coming from upstairs. He got up from the chair and placed the cards on the kitchen table. The closer he got to the second floor the more he could hear more of the noises and groaning. He opened more of the bedroom door and saw you opening your eyes. You moved to your side buring your face into your hands. He saw the way you peeked at the entrance and saw him which made you quickly sit up. He saw the way tears were forming in your eyes. You curled yourself up, bringing your knees up to your chest. " Please don't hurt me."

He shut the door behind him.

"Please."

He walked closer to you. "I won't hurt you."

"Where am I?"

"You're at home. With me."

@black-swan-blog27

@srae123

@foggyturtleknightangel

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hunterthecharmer · 3 months ago

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Unexpected - Part 2

Sorry for the delay everyone. Here's part 2! Hope you all like it :)

Summary: You work for an events company and end up being assigned as a talent handler for a 2 week long convention. Your co-worker ends up assigned to Glen Powell, but you catch his eye. Can you remain professional and keep him from knowing you're actually a pretty big fan of his?

This is my inspiration for the outfit he’s wearing :)

Part 2

It’s the middle of the week, and every day has been spent coordinating with Dylan O’Brien’s team to get every piece of his schedule nailed down. He only had one assistant in the office currently which made your job a bit easier. Savannah, on the other hand was sipping her lattes with her feet kicked up in the corner of your office while you took your meetings each day as Glen’s assistant sent everything over via email or text, to not fill her day up with Zoom meetings.

“This probably means he’s a control freak.” Savannah muses, chewing on the end of her pen as she notates an email from his team. “Look, we both have our work cut out for us. Have you opened your package yet from his team?” You ask, waving your mailer in front of her with a grin. You already knew she was going to want to swap one of the items.

“Wait, what? No! What did they send?” She grins, tearing open the envelope to pull out a large autographed headshot of Glen. Some pens, a lanyard and a handwritten note from his assistant come tumbling out with it. Savannah pouts, immediately shifting her eyes to the one you’re holding. “C’mon, don’t make me beg! Let me see it!” She’s giddy as she shakes your arm, and you giggle as you dramatically remove it from its sleeve. “Trade ya?” You wink at her, before you both search the hall for some empty frames and get Jim from IT to help the two of you hang them up in your offices.

As soon as he’s finished, Savannah comes tapping on your door. “Thanks for trading. Dylan is my man! I hope he’s nice, I don’t know how I’ll feel if he’s rude..” her voice trails off, and you pat her on the shoulder. “He’ll be great. Don’t stress it! You’ll do a great job keeping him on track.” She smiles at your reassurance. “Sooo, are you going to pack your Longhorn hat?”

You gasp at her, crumpling a nearby scrap of paper and throwing it at her. “Listen, that hat is my only one that’s black, it goes with everything, and…yes, it may or may not have only been bought because of Glen. BUT, of course it’s coming. You never know what Tennessee weather will bring!” You smirk at her before flipping off the lights in your office, following Savannah down the hallway to the parking deck.

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“Wow, it really is beautiful here.” You mutter to yourself as you climb into the shuttle taking you from the airport to the event location. The sky seemed a richer hue of blue, and the large trees shaded the vehicles the entire trip. You allowed yourself to breathe as you stepped into the large auditorium building. All the months of hard work and planning had finally paid off. Seeing it with your own eyes was a real treat that you rarely got to enjoy with this job. Hundreds of staff members were busily setting up chairs, tables and last minute details together before the talent would arrive that evening. The welcome party was going to be a blast - glow sticks, a DJ, boujee appetizers and twinkling lights. It would be the perfect way to welcome the talent and allow everyone on location to get ready for the weeks ahead.

After doing your makeup and spraying some texture spray in your hair, you take one last look in the mirror of your little cabin and smile. You felt confident in your all black outfit. Black levi jeans, an off the shoulder black long sleeve with some gold jewelry and some hoops. Your hair was curled, and the leather boots were keeping your feet warm from the winter chill outside. You plop down on the edge of your bed and take in your home away from home. Everyone had their own little log cabin, it was basically a studio set up with a queen sized bed in the middle of the room, chandelier above it and of course a bathroom and lounger with a big window. It was charming and cozy, and you couldn’t imagine how much nicer the talent’s must be if this was how lovely yours was.

One last spritz of texture spray to your hair and you were out the door, jumping on your personal golf cart to ride down to the warehouse.

“Over here! Over here!” You hear a high pitched squeal from across the gravel as you put the golf cart in park. You swivel your head to the left to find Savannah fastly approaching, one hand waving you down, the other holding her skirt from dragging across the ground. “Finally, you’re here!” She wraps an arm around you in a tight hug. You giggle as you steady your balance, hugging her back. You knew she had to be so nervous to meet the talent, because you weren’t the type to get starstruck and your own heart was hammering in your chest.

“We’ve got this! We aren’t the only ones meeting them for the first time tonight. Just remember that! I’m sure Glen will be lovely. I promise I will try to nonchalantly get Dylan to meet you tonight too. Deal?” You both pinky promise before heading inside towards the loud music.

You squint your eyes at the glowing white orbs on each high top table, not a single chair in sight other than at the bar. The DJ had many of the guests up and dancing while others socialized amongst themselves. Everyone was dressed casually, probably changing minimally after their plane rides. You and the other workers were definitely dressed up a little more, which instantly put you at ease. Feeling more put together and confident, you lead Savannah to the sign in table. Glancing around as you wait in line, you watch the other girls and guys check over their packets, taking in who their responsibility will be for the next two weeks. Reading what their pick up and drop off schedule will be like, and all the other fast facts about their assigned celebrity; allergies, preferences, etc. As soon as your packet about Dylan is in your hands, you find an empty table and start reading over it. You nonchalantly do a sweep of the room, the different colored lights illuminating everyone’s faces. Some of your favorite actors are in this room, and you couldn’t believe it. After a few moments you spot Dylan at the bar, the lavender backdrop and blue lights behind the stools accentuating his all white outfit. He runs a hand through his shaggy brown hair, mid conversation with another actor you didn’t recognize. You quickly glance down at your paper, making notes with your pen. You get through about three pages before Savannah appears in front of you, slamming her lanyard down on the table. “Did you introduce yourself yet?” She whispers, rummaging around in her bag for her lipgloss. “No, I’m letting him finish his conversation first. How’s Glen?” You ask, smirking at her. “He’s a dream. He literally made a beeline for me through the crowd to introduce himself! I have to bring him his schedule, apparently no one had it in their rooms when they got here so that’s awkward. Strike one on us.” She bites her bottom lip. You feel your eyes widen. “What?! That was supposed to have been done days ago! The girls from scheduling said they had it under control..oh well. I guess it’s a nice ice breaker for us to approach them. Wait, did you say Glen came up to you? How’d he know you were his handler?” Savannah raises a hand to cover her mouth before moving around the table top to grasp your forearm. “Girl! You know how they sent us head shots of the talent? Apparently they received one of us too! Isn’t that wild?” She giggles, taking in your reaction. “So, that means Dylan already knows I’m here probably. Great..” You let your voice trail off before closing your folder and grabbing your lanyard to place around your neck.

“Let me go say hello, then!” You flash Savannah a nervous smile before heading to the bar, Dylan’s eyes immediately drifting from the man he’s talking to over to you. He places a hand on his shoulder and says what you assume to be a quick goodbye before turning on his heel toward you. “You’re the lucky lady who's stuck with me, yeah?” He grins, extending a hand to you. His brown eyes are friendly, twinkling beneath the lights dancing around the room. “I’m Dylan, so nice to meet you!” His handshake is firm, and you take note of how strong his cologne is. “I promise to get you everywhere on time these next few weeks. It’s great to meet you!” You return his smile, moving closer to him as a crowd of people brush past the two of you toward the buffet, the DJ announcing to everyone that dinner has been set out. Dylan leans down to your ear so you can hear him better. “I’m so stoked to be here, did you have a hand in all this?” He shouts above the music, gesturing around him to all the decor in the warehouse, fake pink and magenta flowers are strung up through the rafters, flameless candles were dispersed throughout the room, you were proud of the vibe in here for sure. It was kind of like a club but classier. “It took a village for sure, but I’m really happy with how it turned out! Oh, here’s your schedule by the way-” You continue to babble on to him about the whole event and the planning that went into it, and start going through Dylan’s schedule with him. He listens intently to you, his focus a hundred percent on what you’re showing him. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Savannah pointing you out to Glen, his eyes peering at you from beneath his black Texas Longhorns ballcap before he looks away. You feel heat rush to your cheeks as you tear your gaze away from him. You and Dylan exchange some more info, and decide to meet out front by the golf carts in another hour or so. You meander towards the back of the space, your stomach growling at the sight of all the warm food placed ahead of you. Before you can grab a plate, you hear Savannah call your name, “Hey, wait up!” You spin around, her arm locking with yours to pull you away from the buffet line. “Where are we going?” You whine, turning your head back towards the food. “The food is that way! I’m starving.” Savannah shoots you a sympathetic smile as she continues to drag you through the crowd until she sits you down at a round table in the corner of the room. “Unfortunately, that food’s not for us.” She frowns, before leaving you to disappear behind a door and reappear moments later with two foil covered plates, two large water bottles under her arm. “Savannah…what’s on those plates.” You wearily question, grabbing it from her. You both count to three together before ripping the foil cover off, revealing a hamburger, bag of chips and the tiniest cup of fruit you’d ever seen. “Guess they had to cut corners to save money somehow.” You pout, pushing the plate away from you as you grab the bag of Lays.

“Here we chose the best menus each night for them, thinking we too would get to enjoy them, but no. We have to eat like kids.” Savannah complains as she bites into her burger. “What, lost your appetite?” She frowns at your plate. “I don’t eat burgers. Actually, I can’t eat red meat at all.” You reply, shrugging your shoulders. You slump back into your chair, disappointed that you’re missing out on the all you can eat sushi bar the talent is currently enjoying right now.

Savannah inhales her food as the two of you chat about your schedules for tomorrow, trying to find overlaps. Your conversation is cut short at the sound of a male voice in front of you. “Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but, do you ladies happen to know where the restrooms are?” You both snap your gaze upward to see Glen standing in front of your table, the only celebrity in a 300 foot distance. You take in his outfit- his cap you noticed earlier, his dark black jeans, crisp white t-shirt and grey cardigan that fits him perfectly. He’s extremely handsome in person, even more so than on screen. You open your mouth to speak, but you realize nothing is coming out of your mouth. You quickly wet your lips with your tongue, eyes deferring to Savannah, since he probably came over here to ask her. She is his handler for the weekend, after all. Savannah’s mid chew on the last piece of her burger, looking at you expectantly. “Oh, uh, they’re behind the DJ’s set up, there’s a little hallway back there with the bathrooms.” You meet his gaze again, his green eyes locked onto yours before they drop to the plate in front of you. The sides of his mouth tugs up into a smirk. “Not hungry?” He points to your untouched hamburger, his watch catching the light. You take a mental note of your stomach doing backflips over this accessory, as watches have always been kind of a thing for you. A turn on, if you will. You shake your head and laugh, admitting that you can’t eat it. “I’ll be out of commission if I eat that.” Glen’s playful expression turns to one of confusion, pointing over his shoulder to the extensive spread of food behind you. “You want to trade? I didn’t see that as an option. Where’d you find that?” Savannah giggles, waving her hands in front of her as she finally speaks. “No, no, the burgers are just for us little people. You guys get to enjoy the good stuff.” She winks at him, and you nudge her beneath the table. Not exactly the best way to put it…

Glen’s eyebrows furrow slightly, head tilting to the side. “That doesn’t seem fair. Tell you what, I’ll bring you back a plate of whatever you want if I can devour that burger on your plate.” He flashes you a grin, and you’re enthusiastically nodding before you can think twice about it. “Yes, please! I’ll literally take anything you can gr-” you begin, but Savannah cuts you off. “She loves sushi, Glen.” They exchange a smile as he points to her before wading through the crowd. You turn to your coworker, mouth open in disbelief. “Umm, is Glen Powell bringing me a plate of food right now?!” You let out a tiny squeal, hitting her on the knee. She props a hand on her cheek, “I know right? Isn’t he so nice? Where the heck is Dylan?” She responds, squeezing your shoulder. “It sucks we have to act like we don’t know them. Like, at all.” She huffs, crossing her arms across her chest. “He’s over by the dessert bar, why don’t you take a quick walk by? He won’t even notice! He’s quite the social butterfly tonight.” You wink at her encouragingly, and she actually stands from her chair. “You know what, you’re right. Be right back!” She’s giddy as she weaves through the crowd, and in her wake you see Glen reappear, a plate full of sushi in tow. He sticks out his tongue, clearly proud of his selection. “Here we go, I got a little bit of everything for ya.” He presents the plate to you dramatically, flicking his wrist to emulate a waiter as he drops it on the table. “You’ve outdone yourself.” You grin, placing a hand over your heart to match his energy. “And in return…” You reach for the plate, lifting the burger to his hands. He shakes his head, instantly grabbing the burger out of its sleeve and taking a huge bite out of it. “I’m Glen, by the way.” He mumbles, his mouth full. You swallow thickly, Savannah’s reminder echoing in your head as you introduce yourself, acting as casual as possible. You lift your chopsticks and dig into your food, not having realized that Glen’s attention is on you. The two of you continue to eat in silence, hunger clearly winning here. “Guess we were hungry.” You laugh, pushing your now empty plate away from you. Glen throws his head back with a chuckle, nodding in agreement. “Guess so. It was a long travel day.”

Suddenly, you remember why he approached your table in the first place - the bathroom. “Wait, did you ever find the restrooms?” Your tone has a hint of worry in it; what were you thinking, sending him off to get you a plate of food? You were sup[posed to be serving the talent, not the other way around. You suddenly felt embarrassed, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Glen’s mouth turns into a soft smile, his expression playful again. “Oh, I knew where the bathrooms were.” His words hang in the air as you process his tone, taking in his facial expression. Was he..flirting with you? There was no way. You were delusional. Before you can respond, he stacks his empty plate on top of yours and slides them back toward him, leaning over the table a bit to make sure you can hear him. “Nice doin’ business with you.” He shoots you a quick wink before he tosses the plates into the trash can and disappears into the crowd. You’re aware of the cheesy grin on your face that you can’t wipe off, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you fidget with your bracelets. Savannah soon returns, waving you toward her. “C’mon, let’s get to our carts and wait for the boys! We have an early morning tomorrow.” ANd with that, you grab both of your bags and follow her to the gravel lot outside, the exchange with Glen replaying over and over in your mind.

Dylan strides up to your golf cart right on time, his eyes glazed over. “Man, that was fun! You guys killed that. I’m dead tired though.” He raises his hand for a high five, and you happily oblige before driving him to his personal cabin. Agreeing on a wakeup time, you wait for him to get inside before driving off.

You snuggle into bed that night replaying how amazing the event space looked, relieved that Dylan was kind and, so far, not a diva. You were looking forward to getting to know him a little better and look out for him the next few weeks. And then there was Glen…you had to try and downplay tonight’s interaction. He was just being nice, his parents clearly raised him right. That’s all it was. Did he seriously wink at you? Maybe you dreamed that part. Maybe he isn’t as nice as he seems, and just a charmer. He could have a girlfriend for all you know!

“I need help.” You mutter to yourself.

You shake your head and sigh; you were here to work. You needed to be professional and short with all of the guests here. End of story. You let yourself fall asleep to the sound of the wind blowing outside your cabin window.

#glen powell #glen powell fic #glen powell x reader #glen powell fanfic

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neapolitanupsidedowncake · 1 year ago

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sibling headcanons for some of the haikyuu boys!!

content warning: fluff, suga's (headcanoned) brother is a cutie, tadashi's brothers are annoying

a/n: this one isn't really an x reader one, but kind of more of a general one (?) hope ya like it. this isn't really proofread 😅 i did have fun writing this one! some of it might not make sense (coz it isn't proofread) so sorry about that!

SUGAWARA

he looks like he has a toddler brother!!

he'd have the same gray hair and even a little birthmark on his cheek

i can just picture it

suga would love carrying his little brother on his shoulders and saying "zOOM"

suga definitely buys the little tike small toys and board books when he sees them in the store!!

he definitely has lots of pictures of him on his phone

when you visit his house, his brother likes seeing you

he has the same somewhat mischievous personality as suga

i can even picture suga buying him a soft volleyball for him to play with 🥺

AKAASHI

he would have... an older sister!!! (along with 4 younger siblings)

i'm sorry, he seems like a middle child

i would think that his older sister would be a lot more loud and outgoing than he is, and she would tease him relentlessly about that

she'd be about three years older than him

but!! i think that akaashi would also have a younger Irish twin who is a girl, but she's only a first year

i would think that his first younger sister would be his Irish twin, but she's only a first year at Fukurodani

his other 3 younger siblings would be crazy like their oldest sister!

i got the headcanon that he has a lot of siblings because he's just so unnaturally patient with bokuto

YAMAGUCHI

he is another headcanoned middle child (like me)! but he only has two siblings (also like moi)

he would have an older brother who is very annoying and arrogant

and also a younger brother who's maybe thirteen, who is also spoiled and mean

but tadashi is nice :))

his brothers full on bully him XD

but! if other people bully tadashi his older brother secretly will beat them up

anyway, tadashi will sometimes hug his brothers, to which they just stand there like a log, to which tadashi doesn't care

his older brother will also goad him constantly when he is with you (cuz he likes you and he knows it) (coz he's obvious about it)

even though this headcanon won't make much sense, i also think tadashi is legally blind and he just wears contacts

but at home he will wear silver rimmed glasses, to which his younger brother steals them all the time, right off his face :/

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pastelwitchling · 8 months ago

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Michael tries to bake. Again.

***

Alex opened his front door to the smell of something burning. Daffodil and Po were zooming through the halls, Daffodil occasionally stumbling over her three legs, which only made Po run into her, and then they’d both tumble a second before regaining their footing. Daffodil, who’d always preferred Alex, ran right at him and sank her claws into his pant leg, attempting to climb (thank God she’d launched herself at his prosthetic), while Po, lover of all people, ran in circles around them, barking madly through his smushed face.

Alex’s eyes were wide, his brows furrowed. “What . . . the hell? Guerin?” he called out, but there was no response. Frowning, Alex picked up Daffodil with one hand and set her on his shoulder, and picked up Po with his other hand, holding him against his chest. “Michael!”

He was about to try again when he came into the kitchen and found his husband bent over the oven, thick mittens on. In his hands was a tray . . . on which rested another black brick. Alex’s shoulders fell.

“You tried to bake again, didn’t you?” he said, and Michael jumped. He whirled around and the black brick jumped several feet before landing in the sink.

Michael looked between Alex, the cake, and back at Alex again, breathing hard. “It was chocolate,” he said, apologetic, “I thought something was going to explode and it was chocolate. I had to get mean, they just weren’t leaving!”

Daffodil hissed and swiped her paw at the evil burnt log. Alex pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. When he thought he could finally speak without his voice trembling, he said, “I thought we agreed that you’d only bake when I was in the house. So I could, you know, put out any fires?”

“You’ve been having a tough week!” Michael defended. “I was sure I got that triple fudge cake recipe down this time!” Then, as if the truth had been on the tip of his tongue since his last baking venture when he’d nearly burned their house down, he blurted, “Damn it, I never thought a freaking dish would get to me, but I can make beef bourguignon better than a Frenchman, for God’s sake! How do I suck at pastries?!”

Alex watched him pace back and forth, his shoulders shaking with the force of his concealed laughter. Before he could make some poor attempt at comfort, Michael pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “You know, I think there’s something in the flour or the sugar – the vanilla, that’s what it is – it’s gotta be something reacting to my alien biology. I’m serious, Alex. I think it’s, like, a chemical thing at this point – it’s not funny!”

He'd finally snapped when Alex bent over, laughing so hard that his stomach hurt and it got hard to breathe. Daffodil sank her claws into his shoulder to keep herself upright, and Po, too happy about seeing someone else happy, barked and waved his curly little tail. His barks nearly drowned out Michael’s groans, the cowboy putting his head in his hands.

“I just wanted to make you something nice,” he whined, even as Alex pulled him into his arms.

“Aww, baby,” Alex cooed. “I love you trying to bake for me. You make us amazing meals all the time, that’s more than I could ask for.”

“You shouldn’t have to ask at all,” Michael grumbled, shoving his face into Alex’s shoulder as though hoping to merge their bodies together with sheer force alone. “You deserve every amazing thing you could dream of when you come home, and I want to be the one to give that to you.” He shuddered, heaving a long exhale. “But that damn cake . . .”

Alex snorted, and squeezed Michael tight. He felt Daffodil crawl off his shoulder to settle on Michael’s, saw Po looking up at them with his tongue out and his tail still wagging, the burned brick in his sink. He smiled against the crook of Michael’s neck.

“Oh baby,” he said softly, his heart full, “it doesn’t get any more amazing than you.”

After a long minute, Michael’s arms came around his waist, hugging him back tightly. Michael nuzzled his shoulder, his jaw, snuggling deeper into him, and he sighed. “Hubby?” he said.

“Hm?”

Michael huffed. “I can’t let this cake beat me.”

Alex’s smile widened. He kissed the side of Michael’s neck, and was rewarded with the cowboy melting further into him. “I know,” he said. “And the next time you try, I’ll be right here.” Then whispered, “With a fire extinguisher.”

Michael dug his nails into Alex’s ribs, and Alex had no hope of holding in his laughter this time.

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤️

#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #malex fic #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 16 days ago

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nine weeks down, six to go! 60% of the way there! i worked ummm 23.5 hours unless i fucked up my quick math because i haven't actually put any of my sessions into my time tracking app since monday... a slower week partly because three weekend students rescheduled for sometime this week due to long weekend lans, and partly because, well, you know, other stuff occupying my mind. and, with that in mind, given the Things that were Going On, i personally think we all did great just to make it here, don't you?

one of my kids is testing tomorrow and may or may not be stopping tutoring after that; another two are testing this week and definitely continuing (one of them i am VERY stressed about score-wise and the other i think will eventually be fine by her december test date). there's an SAT student potentially in the pipeline which would be nice in terms of getting me through the winter lull but i haven't heard an update on whether it's happening in a few days. it did recently dawn on me that of students in my fall crop who definitely will or depending on scores may be continuing into january, four of them are weekend students... don't love that but what can you do.

i didn't get to five blurbs for TSJ week, but three is better than none; i didn't quite finish flowers in the attic but i'm pretty close and going to cozy up with it after i log off. i hit four workouts and then last night slept by absolute shit with an earlier-than-usual start and got my period so today's upper body day didn't happen and i will, sigh, not finish the program by thanksgiving, but i will in fact finish it. we got some outside kitchen help and have been mostly pretty good about maintaining it. i did ALL my laundry on my day off tutoring saturday (fourth day without tutoring since september 15th!) for the first time... a while... and perhaps i will at some point even finish putting it away. i didn't really work much on my room beyond that but that alone is a pretty decent improvement. no free store this week but i went to the movies with friends a few nights ago (heretic, a very fun time) and to book club today (flowers in the attic as mentioned before, an absolutely bonkers insane novel), and zoomed with d., i have sichuan plans with a friend this week. i kind of didn't want to hang with a certain group first thing post-election but, guess what, [redacted] flaked, lol. i told myself i had through today to remain hooked up by IV to the Takes machine re: election and i have now closed all my phone tabs and cleared my history, which is a tip i recommend for a light non-extreme digital detox because it forces you to type the URL of anywhere you want to go rather than getting it autofilled, which is the kind of friction i need on this matter, lol.

this week, oh who knows. keep on keeping on, work out, text back [g] whom i have been meaning to text back for two months, keep getting the work done, ideally end the week with the room a little better than it is now and the kitchen about as good as it was... let's say two days ago. lol. my later monday student cancelled for tomorrow and i am thinking i will use the extra time to treat myself to go see the apprentice as a treat, which i realize may sound deranged but do you know the more i think about it the more i think it would actually have been more stressful to watch it before we knew how things would turn out? six more weeks, and week three is thanksgiving, which will provide at least a one-day respite, and week five will already be lighter, and week six will be easier still! the finish line is perhaps not in sight but is right around the bend!

#isabel 2k24

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montydrawsstuff · 2 months ago

Note

Chaotix going to the ARK together story?

…Yer? I suppose I can give that a go

btw, who even did hire the Chaotix to do all that stuff in shadow the hedgehog?//

”Who’da guessed that dusty old teleport in Eggman’s base still worked? Well… we’re all here now, no thanks to that.. shady hedgehog”

Vector joined the other two of his crew before the main bridge of the dusty -but still spectacular- Space Colony Ark. He took a commanding stance before the main computer and typed carefully.

“M A R I A. Huh, still the same password… guess they didn’t have the same view of cyber security that we got now, huh boys?”

The Chaotix stood by as their faces glowed with the light of the system booting up for the first time in quite a while.

“Nice! Ughhh! It’s all words! Where’s all the pictures? I’m borrrrred!”

“Shuddap, Charmy! We got serious business here! We aren’t looking for comics!”

“I’ll scan what information I can,” Espio offered “Go see if there are any more access points, this may just be a logging interface”

“Ya don’t have to ask me twice!” Vector said, turning quickly with Charmy buzzing behind him. “You go high, I go low- got it, kiddo?”

“Roger!” Charmy saluted and zoomed off.

“If ya got it in ya, give us a shout for any trouble, got it? This place is falling apart as it is, never mind those chaos monsters everywhere!” Vector headed off without a response, knowing Espio was already zoned into scanning through every last word as a speed he didn’t even want to think of.

Each room he entered, Vector struggled to imagine what once was, was this place really the cutting edge research and medical facility he was told? By the sight of ruined halls, trashed computers and cold sterile furniture that did remain- was this place ever inhabited?

“Woof, these people need some rugs, stat. It could really tie the room together…” Vector mused. He stumbled, looking down to see crumpled clothes and ash.

He grimly continued on. This wasn’t a time for jokes.

Espio let his eyes burn tirelessly, scanning every file he could access, unlocking more and more information as he worked. He wasn’t finding anything useful yet. It seemed many of the old Professor’s journals were less about the layout and use of the labs, and more centred on his own research and findings.

To come across files under “Project Shadow” kind of threw him for a bit of a loop. Entry after entry detailing the development of his “Ultimate Lifeform”.

Espio had only passing correspondence with Shadow. He was aware he had some significance and power by their previous interactions, but to imagine someone he had witnessed- had only known as another living breathing person- was once just a subject, even result of scientific research…

He found himself pouring over page after page logging development, experimenting, breakthroughs, discoveries- referring to Shadow the Hedgehog as almost a product, a concept. GUN funding the project to turn the project into some kind of super soldier weapon?

How disturbing, How dehumanising..

“Hey! I found something! Looking Lookie!!”

The Chaotix hustled into a room with a large window, overlooking the Earth. A smaller computer off to the side had been booted up, the monitor lit up with windows detailing the Black Arms.

“Good work Charmy! This is just what we needed! Now let’s do what we were paid to do!”

#Sooo #didnt have a lot of ideas for this #But knowing what was lost in the arks files after shadow the hedgehog #This was the last time people could probably access a lot of it #Kinda funny to imagine gun like ahaha all of the arks research is gone #And espio just comes in like hmmmmm #So I can perfectly recall everything I’ve ever read #…. Do we kill him commander?#Lol #shadow just makes him write it all down haha

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elisysd · 1 year ago

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Difficult - Gracie Abrams

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

To name this feeling Would take a hundred thousand years, some kind of grieving But over what I never had, so I've been speaking To my therapist, I call her every weekend

It was raining in Monaco when Lyanna logged on to Zoom with her Macbook and Sophia's face appeared on the screen. Lyanna could see that she was at her office, which was quite rare.

“Hey, gorgeous! So how is Monaco?”

“Gloomy.” Answered Lyanna trying to show her the downpour that was taking place at that moment.

“Nice. It reminds you of London, that way.”

“Believe it or not, but I was kind of used to the sun.”

“Who are you and what did you do to Lyanna Michel? I’ve never thought that I would hear you saying that. You hate when it’s hot outside.”

“Yeah well, people change.”

“Love changed you, in your case. Speaking of, where is lover boy?”

“With his physio. He has to make some physical tests to evaluate his condition and build a plan to get him back in shape for the new season.”

“I’m glad to hear that he is okay. Now maybe, you are going to come back home in London?”

A long silence followed. Lyanna had been thinking for a few weeks. She didn't really miss London, she didn't miss her flat either, she was working very well from Monaco and then she had Charles. When she thought about London and her potential return, a lump formed in her stomach and it made her feel sad.

“About that… I’m thinking of moving out.” She confessed.

“What? Where? Do you mean moving out of the flat or of London?”

“Well both… I haven’t thought this through but… I was thinking of getting something closer to Charles. Like Nice? I have to find a real estate agent. Monaco is way too expensive for me.”

“Or you could just straight up move in with Charles instead of getting something for yourself. You are basically living together, already.”

“It’s different. I’m here because Charles needed someone to help him. It did not feel like moving – moving you see what I mean? I still want my independence and Charles will be away most of the year. I don’t see myself living here on my own. I would feel like an intruder. And moving with someone is a big step. As much as I love Charles, I’m not ready for that. But anyway, what is the oh so secret project you wanted to talk to me about?”

Suddenly, Sophia's face lit up and Lyanna could see the excitement on her face. Lyanna knew that look well; it was the same one she had worn when she had told her that her name was being seriously considered for the Oscar nominations.

“I got a call at the end of last week from Michael Mann’s team. He is working on his next movie and they would really like to have you on board. I did not tell you sooner because I wanted to see by myself what the project would look like and if it’s something that could interest you. But Lyanna, this movie can be the one to give you the Oscar. I’m sure of it. It’s such a big project with an intention to be shown at the Venice’s Mostra. That’s how big it is.”

“Wow.. okay. Michael Mann is a legend. What is the movie about? Do you know if other people have been casted or contacted?”

“Adam Driver and Penelope Cruz have signed up for it from what I’ve been told. They are searching for their last lead actress. Lead actress Lya. Up for consideration for the Oscars. Can you imagine?”

“You still have not told me about the kind of movie.” Pointed out Lyanna.

“It’s a biopic about Enzo Ferrari.”

Across town, in a private gym, Andrea and a Ferrari doctor were putting Charles through a series of tests to see how he was doing. Overall, they were satisfied with the Monegasque, who not only showed good physical health, but also an excellent mental state. He was ready to face the new season and give it his all. It was as if his accident and forced rest had mentally rebooted him. All Charles wanted to do was get back into an F1 car as quickly as possible. In fact, Ferrari was planning to do so, to test him on track and also because it would make good photos to feed the Scuderia's official accounts.

“Yeah, I talked to Silvia about that. The PR team planned a whole program to show people that I’m alive and well.”

“What have they in store for you?” asked Andrea.

“An interview in my flat, in Monaco. They also want to shoot a video like a day in my life like kind of thing. And me at the factory. And I’m going to go the FIA prize giving ceremony. She did not ask me to go, I’m forced. And here I thought that I would have had a few weeks off before Christmas… And you know the best thing? They want to include Lya. They still have not given up on the idea. I mean, I want her by my side at the FIA ceremony that’s for sure. But during the video shoot? Not sure about that.”

“And no stupid Christmas challenge with Carlos?”

“Don’t get me started on that. They want us to have a competition of who is going to make the best gingerbread house.”

“You know how they are.” Tried to resonate Andrea with him.

“I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want them to use my relationship. Especially when I can feel that it’s purely in a marketing way. I have to talk to Lya about it and see what she wants to do. If she is down for it why not, but I doubt it. But the worst thing is that I know that even if we both say no, they are still going to do it so we might as well try to do what they want and have a little bit of control over it.”

When Charles returned to the flat in the late afternoon, it was almost dark. The living room was dimly lit and he found Lyanna, with a cup of tea in her hands, staring out of the window. Charles wondered what she could see: it was pouring rain and there wasn't much visibility.

“Hey, love. What are you staring out?”

She let out a long sigh and shrugged her shoulders, which worried Charles. She didn't look too good. He knew she'd had a telephone appointment with Sophia earlier in the day and wondered if that was the reason for her distant behaviour. He put his sports bag down in the entrance hall and walked over to her, holding her by the waist. If she usually let herself go naturally against him, this time he felt her stiffen.

“Everything’s okay?” insisted Charles.

She freed herself from his arms and went into the kitchen to empty her cup and rinse it. Charles had the impression that she was trying to avoid him and he hated that feeling, reminding him of moments in their relationship that he would like to leave in the past.

“Lyanna?” he tried to get her attention as he followed her.

“I’m not in the mood for talking, Charles.” She finally decided to speak to him.

“Did I do something wrong? If it's because I left the toilet seat up again, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be careful.”

“Not everything revolves around you, Charles.” she replied sharply.

“So… I did something wrong.”

“For fuck’s sake, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it, so please drop it!”

Charles felt unsettled, it had been a while since he'd had an argument and he had to admit that he didn't miss it at all. He could see that something was tormenting Lyanna, he wasn't blind. The only logical conclusion he could come to, if it wasn't his fault, was the video call with Sophia.

“Did something happen with your work?”

The fact that Lyanna stopped dead in her tracks as she headed for the bedroom made him realise that he had been right. The young woman turned back and sat down on the sofa, where Charles joined her.

“A biopic about Ferrari is about to be shot and they want me onboard as a lead. It’s a huge project and probably Oscar worthy.” She said bluntly.

“What? Lyanna, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you! If you need help to prepare, I can find archives and…”

“I said no.”

“What do you mean you said no?” asked Charles, confused.

“They don’t want me. They want Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend.” She explained with tears in her eyes.

“Come on Lya, you know it’s not true…”

The young woman stood up abruptly, startling Charles.

“Don’t be stupid Charles! I think it’s pretty convenient to be called for this movie not so long after we made our relationship public!”

“Or they think you are talented and deserve to be part of it, Lya.”

“Do you know how humiliated I felt? Do you have the slightest idea? No of course you don’t. My career is what matters the most to me. I worked my ass off to be where I am today, to feel deserving of it. And it’s still feels like it’s a big dream and that I will wake up at any minute. When I understood why they wanted me, it was like all my work, my blood, sweat and tears, all of that was for nothing. I didn’t feel like Lyanna Michel, the actress. I felt like Lyanna Michel, Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend and actress. And it hurt. So bad. I felt robbed.”

“I’m so sorry, Lya… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have anything to say. It is what it is. But I can’t accept to make a movie like this. I would wake up every day wondering if I stole someone’s place. And I would end up hating you because of that, and that’s the last thing I want.”

“I still think you should take time to think this through, maybe talk with the people involved.”

“There is nothing to talk about. My decision is final and I’m asking you to respect it. I should not even have said something, it was stupid you don’t understand. You can’t understand.”

“I understand! Truly, I do! But it’s something that we could have sorted out together, instead you preferred to do things on your own. I don’t to be an obstacle to your career, Lya. I want to see you succeed.”

“It’s my career Charles. I can do whatever the hell I want! I don’t interfere in yours so please don’t interfere in mine!”

“How do I interfere? Tell me? I don’t because you never talk to me.”

“What is the point? You know who could understand me? Arthur. He knows what it feels like to be associated to you and how painful it can get.”

It was a low blow for Charles.

“Don’t bring Arthur into it, please.” He told her with a serious tone.

“Why shouldn’t I? Have you ever wondered how he could feel? To always be in your shadow, to be compared to you? I never thought that it would be something that I would one day experience but here we are.”

“You are being dramatic. Really. It’s just a movie, Lya? Why are we fighting?”

“It’s deeper than just a movie. It’s about my place in your life. It’s about balance. How would you feel if tomorrow you would get a sponsorship with a brand because you were my boyfriend?”

“I would be proud!”

“Let me doubt that.”

“Listen… I’m tired and I’m stressed out. And obviously we are both stubborn about it and fighting is pointless. I’m going to go to bed.”

Seeing the young woman heading for the guest room rather than their bedroom, Charles questioned her.

“I don’t feel like being near you, right now.”

This hurt Charles; it felt like his heart was being torn in two. He spent an absolutely horrible night, tossing and turning all the time. And when he got up the next morning with the firm intention of having a frank and calm discussion with his girlfriend in order to find a solution, he had the impression that it was no longer his heart that had been torn in two, but his soul. She was gone.

========

author's note: It's always one step forward and three steps back between this two. I'm curious, where do you think Lyanna went? Is he gone for good? Is she just out for a walk? Who knows (me I know) Let me know your thoughts and theories, I can't wait to hear them. As usual, a like, a reblog, a comment help giving visibility to the story and it supports the author! taglist:

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boxoftheskyking · 1 year ago

Text

So you might want to buy a house

DISCLAIMER: all of this is based on my own experience, and I am in no way a real estate professional. This is just some stuff that I’ve learned and some steps that I wish I’d known more about in advance, in hopes that it might be helpful for some people. I might get some terminology wrong, or make mistakes, but hopefully the general info is at least kind of helpful

ABOUT ME: because real estate stuff is specific. I am 33, single, employed, and live in a city in Minnesota, USA. This is my first home purchase, so most of this is specific to being a first-time buyer. I’ve been renting in this area for 15 years. I closed on my house in August 2023.

NOTE: The real estate market is super weird, and varies hugely from region to region, neighborhood to neighborhood, and week to week. What shook out for me will not be what shakes out for you.

This is SO LONG, so it’s under a cut, and I hope you will take it with the good faith in was intended!

Where do I start?

So you want to get started but want to talk things over first. This is a good idea! Even if you have friends and family who have bought before, it’s nice to talk to official type people where you can ask any and every question and know they’ve heard way dumber questions than you could ever come up with over the course of their career.

Employee Assistance Program -If you work a job that has benefits, you might have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Some companies get it along with their health insurance as kind of a bundle, but a lot of people don’t talk about it or know about it. -EAPs are all different, they’re basically a resource hub that you might have access to if your employer covers it. Some things they offer are limited therapy/counseling sessions (usually around a specific need like a breakup/death/life transition), consultation about adoption, personal financial advising, and consultation on housing and buying property. -I used my EAP to find a bunch of organizations that work to support first-time home buyers. The one I went with, NeighborWorks Home Partners, is specific to my area, but there were other options listed. -I didn’t actually talk to anyone related to the EAP, I just logged in to a site that had a bunch of links. But I could have talked to someone if I wanted -If you work a job and have benefits like health insurance, retirement, dental, etc it’s worth asking whoever does your benefits (and HR person, general manager, office manager, etc) if there is an EAP. Again, a lot of people don’t really talk about it.

Homebuyer Education -There’s a bunch of different organizations that provide homebuyer education. I didn’t know many of the details about homebuying, and it’s super confusing and anxiety-inducing, so I found it helpful -There’s a few ways to do this—I did both a one-on-one consultation and an online class -The one-on-one consultation was free from the org I chose. We talked on Zoom and went over monthly budgets (which I didn’t really need to do, I make budgets for a living lolllll), a soft credit pull (will talk more about this below) and talk about what goes into a credit score, and all the different expenses that go into a house and what that might look like. At the end of the day, it gave me the first sense of what my budget for a house might be. -They did a soft credit pull (see below), which gave me a sense of my credit. It was more accurate than a thing like Credit Karma or my bank. -One note about the consultation - my down payment assistance program (will talk more about this later) required me to redo it, because I did it over a year before closing. So depending on your programs you might need to pay attention to the timeline. I also got a certificate saying I did it that I submitted to my assistance program. (Redoing it meant like a 10 minute call where the guy just helped talk me through my closing documents) -It cost me $75 to take an online class that took a few hours. It was in 8 parts and included watching some videos, reading some short articles, and then taking quizzes. You had to get 80% right to pass, and you can redo it if you need to. It went over most of the things to know and had links to read more. I also got a certificate for that to submit, and it didn’t matter how much time had passed for my assistance program.

Credit -I’m not going to explain everything about credit, because it is complicated -A soft credit pull is when they check the three major credit reporting agencies to get a general sense of your score. It’s not 100% accurate. -A hard credit pull is what lenders will do when you actually go in for a preapproval (more below). It will be the most accurate. A hard credit pull will have an affect on your credit score, so if you’re ever doing something that involves a hard credit pull, it’s best to do all of that within a month so that it only really hits once. -There are 3 credit reporting agencies, and your score will be different from each one. Why? no idea. They all have a different maximum number that your score can be. Why? again, no idea. It’s around 850 though. -Generally things get easier to do if your score is above 680ish. It’s not like you can’t get a house with a lower score, but sometimes there are other hoops to jump through. -I’m not very useful when it comes to buying a house with low credit, but I bet there are people who are! -You build credit by owing money and paying it regularly. It’s annoying and dumb, but it’s the way it is. Paying rent on time builds your credit, having a credit card that you pay off every month builds credit, paying utility bills that are in your name builds credit. (Note: This stuff has to be in your name for it to count, so if you pay your roommate every month for the electric bill and it’s in their name, it won’t count. So if you’re in that situation, you may want to put something in your name like a card to build your score). Paying off a car or phone or student loan also helps. -I have really good credit, and I’m neither rich nor special. I just set everything to autopay, including my credit card bill. I use my credit card for most things that I just shop for in the world like groceries, etc, and then I have all my bills autopay from my checking account. How did people do this shit before autopay? I have no idea.

Mortgage vs. Rent -The benefit of paying a mortgage vs rent is that you’re building equity if you pay into a mortgage. This is a surprise tool that will help you later. Which means that if you are in a situation where you need money, you can borrow from what you’ve paid into your mortgage. So like if you get very sick or have a kid going to school or want to throw a big party, you could get a loan based on your equity -Equity is confusing, don’t ask me about it -For me, I pay a bit more per month than I did in rent at my last place. BUT mostly that’s because I’d been living in the same place for many years and my rent hadn’t gone up that much. One of the first things I did when considering buying is look at how much it would cost to rent a house like the kind I would want to buy. And those rents are over what I ended up paying monthly to my mortgage. -Keep in mind that you will be taking on some extra expenses that you don’t have as a renter (like maintenance, repairs, etc). Note: if you’re buying a condo, that’s different. I don’t know shit about that. -So for me, paying my landlord every month for him to occasionally (half-assedly) fix stuff (on his schedule, where he decides who to hire or how to do the work, where he is a stranger in my space for the duration) was not as appealing as me paying the bank every month so I can have some equity -The first 6 months of owning a house feels like hemorrhaging money out of every orifice, but the majority of these expenses are one-time or rarely-reoccurring things. But I didn’t quite prepare for this the way I wish I had, so when you’re thinking about building your savings to buy a house, you’ll want to consider things like furniture, small repairs, pest control, duct cleaning, gutter cleaning, many many visits to a hardware store, realizing some of your stuff doesn’t fit the way it did in the old place and you have to get new things.... etc.

The Money Stuff

Lenders -It might be appealing to start by looking at properties, but especially in a hot market that’s not what you want to do first -The first thing to do is to look at lenders! Lenders are basically the institutions that give you the loan to buy your house, and the ones you will be paying monthly for the 30 years of your loan (or until you sell) (or die I guess) -I talked to like 13 lenders, because I love an excuse not to move forward on scary things, so I just do research and research and research until I run out of steam. So i don’t necessarily recommend doing that. But you definitely want to talk to at least a few. -Lenders can be banks (like Bank of American, US Bank, Wells Fargo, etc), credit unions (like Affinity, RCU, etc), or smaller mortgage companies. -You can also talk to mortgage brokers, which are companies that have agreements with different banks or companies and can shop around on your behalf. -I got my list of people to talk to from: my consultation (above), friends who had bought/were buying, friends who like their bank/credit unions for other things -You’ll have a specific person you’re working with, so who that person is matters. -Things you’ll want to ask about 1. How is their communication? How big is your team? If you see a house on a Saturday and they need offers by Sunday afternoon, how likely is it that they will get your preapproval letter ready in time? 2. Are they good at explaining things to you? Do they work with first-time homebuyers a lot? Do you feel dumb talking to them? Are they mortgage nerds and genuinely seem like they care about finding you good deals and cool programs? 3. What are their interest rates at the moment? Know that this will change between now and the time you have the option to lock in, so don’t put too too much weight on this 4. Most importantly: What assistance programs do they have access to? Everyone has different ones, which we’ll talk about below. Don’t assume that because a bank is huge that they have a ton of assistance. Some small places have really great programs. Likewise, some of the banks that are more well-known for big ticket mortgages (like Jumbo loans for mansions, etc) actually have crazy good programs for low-income and first-time home buyers, because they need to show that they also work for the little guy -I ended up going with a small local mortgage company because they had a kickass program ($10,000 in down payment assistance that is forgivable in 5 years. So as long as I don’t sell my house in 5 years, I don’t have to pay that back). -You may be tempted to solely base your decision on who to get a mortgage from on the politics of the lending institution. This is a lovely instinct. HOWEVER, your mortgage can be sold to anyone at any time. Within a month of moving in, my mortgage was sold to Freddie Mac. I still pay the credit union that is the servicer of my loan, but it all goes back to the big guy in the end. So basically you have no control of where your money ends up. (or maybe you do somehow, ask someone else about that) -At the end of the day, you should apply to like 2-4 different lenders. Once you fill out your application, they’ll do a hard credit pull and look at all your income, bank accounts, etc, and they’ll pre-approve you for a certain amount of money. -This is really where you’ll get your house-hunting budget. There can be a pretty big range in what you’re approved for! One lender approved me for $220K (”maybe $225K” they said). Another approved me for $280K. You’ll want to pick a lender based on all the above information, along with the amount you’re approved for. Being approved for $280K doesn’t mean that’s what you should spend (you can, but I don’t recommend it), but it does mean that your budget can be more like $250K, compared for $225K. You’ll want to look around at your area to see what’s reasonable for you.

Downpayment Assistance -for a lot of first-time buyers, the downpayment (and closing costs) is the thing that’s standing between you and being a homeowner. So that’s what a lot of organizations focus on -The more you put down (i.e. pay right off the bat), the lower your loan will be, and therefore the less your monthly payment will be. So it’s worth it to try and pay down as much as possible -(Likewise, if you buy and house and then get a windfall and are like What do I do with all this cash, paying down your mortgage will save you money) -This is because you pay MORE in interest than you pay for your house, so the less your loan is, the less you’re paying in interest. If you find a way to pay off your loan early, you end up paying less interest! And you win against the bank! If you get a raise and are able to put even like an extra $100 towards your mortgage each month, that can cut years off your loan and build your equity more quickly, thereby cutting down on the interest you end up paying. So unlike paying more money to a landlord who will eat it with a spoon, maybe more in your mortgage early is helpful for you. -Lots of downpayment assistance (hereinafter DPA) is stackable! So you can qualify for multiple programs and use them all -Many have an income requirement (for one of mine, I need to make 80% of the median income in my area or less). -Many are location specific. Some of those you can look up in advance and try to focus on properties in those areas. Some are super super specific, like this block only, or these specific addresses. That’s true for one of my programs—whenever I was considering making an offer on a house, I’d email my lender and she’d tell me if that specific address counts for the assistance program -At the end of the day, I got $30K in assistance. $10K of that is forgivable in 5 years (so I don’t have to pay it back unless I sell in that time). The other $20K is from two separate no-interest loans. This means that if I sell the house, I have to pay back that amount. Ideally by that time I’ll have enough equity in my house that will cover that. -Interest rates are super high right now, so if you’re buying now you want to think about refinancing. Refinancing is basically when you negotiate a new deal with your lender. There are fees and things (I’ve never done it so IDK), but the benefit of doing that is getting a lower interest rate. So my rate is 6.25%, and in 5 years if the rate goes down to like 2.3% I may want to refinance so I’ll be paying less in interest over the course of my loan. -If you’re getting DPA that’s a loan, you will want to ask what happens when you refinance. They’ll probably tell you either you have to pay it back when you refinance (so don’t get stuck in that situation if you don’t have that $$$ on hand) or they’ll say it’ll be subordinated -this took me like weeks to get a straight answer on wtf is subordination. Basically, you pay your loans off in order, right, so you pay your mortgage and then after that you pay off your DPA loans. So if you refinance, then your mortgage ends up being “newer” I guess. So in order to put the mortgage back “on top” of the pile to pay off, so to speak, you pay that (and it’s interest) first, the DPA loans get shoved down underneath the mortgage on the list.

Interest Rates -You can’t control interest rates. Honestly markets are so volatile and the world is so close to ending, I would say it’s not worth waiting for them to go down. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. No one fuckin knows -So many global, political, circumstantial things affect these, and who knows what might happen. My friends happened to be closing during the time the debt ceiling almost freaked out, which was outside of their control, so they got screwed with a super high rate. -After you get an offer accepted and you’re working on setting up your loan, you’ll usually get the offer to “lock in” an interest rate. Basically, if you have reason to believe rates will go down before you close, don’t do it. if you think they’ll go up, then do it. Who fuckin knows. I did it bc I didn’t think it was likely stuff would go down. And I haven’t looked it up bc if they did I don’t want to know -There are more complicated things you can do with interest rates, like “floating down” and APRs and other shit. Don’t ask me about them, I do not know.

Looking for houses

Realtors -Who your realtor is MATTERS y’all. Here is what a realtor will do: 1. Give you access to a Super Awesome online listing of properties (much better than Zillow! Updates constantly). They will set your search filters based on what you specifically want and your specific budget. That includes size, amenities, location, school district, garage, yard, etc etc 2. Arrange showings for you. Sometimes you might want to go to open houses, but you don’t have to wait for those to see a house. You tell your realtor what you’re interested in and they can set up a time for just you and them to see the place 3. Access houses with funky lil lockboxes. Heist teams should include realtors—I’ve seen my guy get into the weirdest of devices in no time 4. Recommend places to you 5. Talk on your behalf with the seller’s agents or the sellers themselves 6. Take you all the way through your offers, acceptance, all the way to closing (basically, most of the rest of this post) -I am really lucky that a friend of mine is one of the best realtors in town (in my humble opinon). It really worked out for me, because when it came to negotiating price and terms with sellers and their agents, people already respected him and his expertise because he was a known fixture in the field. I’m not saying that an early-career or unknown realtor is bad, but reputation can do a lot of heavy lifting for you (as you’ll see later) -My realtor, S, is not only a friend, but also someone who has owned, rented, built, remodeled, bought, and sold everything from high rise condos to alpaca farms to tiny houses built in shipping containers. That experience was super useful to me for a few reasons: 1. He was very very good at looking at a roof, foundation, or basement, and saying “absolutely not, this is a mess” —I could only rarely see what he was talking about because I know nothing 2. If I looked at a space and said “what if I wanted to add a shower there?” or “could I make this basement area a bedroom?” S was able to pretty accurately estimate what that would cost. So that became part of the math as we looked at places, which was really useful and saved me so much time doing research on my own 3. He’s a queer artist who grew up in a nontraditional family and has lived many fascinating and non-standard lives. I only mention this because when I wanted to talk about my future and what my home could look like, I didn’t have to worry about S making assumptions about what “family” consists of or what my “role” would be. And as a single woman who is looking to adopt, that really meant a lot to me! -(side note if you’re in the Twin Cities and want S’s info, hit me up) -The most important thing about working with S, for me, is that he never made me feel foolish. I gradually got really good at talking about and looking at houses, but even when I asked questions that were obviously, or made incorrect assumptions, he never treated me like I should have known the answers, or like the process was supposed to be easy. And the guy genuinely loves houses!

What to Look For -You’ll want to find a house that fits what you want your life to be, not necessarily what it is at this moment. So think about what you want your day to day to be like. Will you be working from home at all? Do you have or want kids or pets? Do you want to be a person who hosts out of town guests? Do you want to have band practice at your place? Do you want to host D&D? Large holiday meals? Do you want to garden? Grill? Have a firepit? Do you have a car, or do you think you will? Do you have physical access needs based on your body, like particular types of doorways, floors, stairs, size of spaces, etc.? Are there furniture pieces that are important to you that you want to plan around? (For me, I have an electric piano, and placing that was super important).

-I’m a single person, and I want to adopt a kid, and I know I’ll need a roommate in order to afford my mortgage. So it was vital for me to find a house that either had 3 bedrooms, or had 2 bedrooms and a 3rd could be easily finished/added. it was also important that my roommate would have their own private space that was decent size for me to charge rent -Think about all year round. I live in Minnesota, and you better believe snow was top of mind at every house. As a renter, my landlord was supposed to deal, with anything over 3 inches (did he always? of course not). Now it’s my responsibility. What kind of trees are around? Do you have big storms? You need to pay attention to big branches and power lines. Is it getting super hot where you live? You probably want to prioritize central air, or shade.

-On the topic of central air - It’s pricey to add it to a house that doesn’t have forced air heat, because you have to add all the ductwork. If that’s the case and you don’t have that $$$, you can either go with window units or something called a mini-split. It’s basically mini air conditioners that heat floors separately, but have a better range than a window unit. -Does the house have a yard you want to deal with? How about a sidewalk you have to shovel (woe unto you in corner lots) -How does bussing work for the schools in your area, if that matters to you? -Some houses will be empty. Empty rooms look smaller than rooms that have shit in them -Some will be staged. People who stage houses don’t fill them with STUFF, so you’ll notice few bookcases, coatracks, etc. Think about the stuff you have, not the stuff they put in the house. -You will be AMAZED at how some people live. Seriously. Some people have a giant ass oak tree literally leaning on their roof and just deal with it. Some people have 3 bedroom houses, and the only bathroom is only accessible by going through one of the bedrooms. Some people have their fridge down a flight of stairs from the kitchen. Some people have their laundry in the basement, but the only access to the basement is through an outside door. In some climates that’s fine, but I live in fucking Minnesota -I had the instinct when I started looking that I needed to be entirely open to everything, and not be too picky. After about two weeks of looking (and S had me going to like 4-9 showings a day some days), I got real picky real fast. This was helpful for S and helpful for me, so we weren’t wasting time on houses that weren’t contenders. I learned that the houses’ feelings did not get hurt by me not wanting to buy them -Likewise, I started out being entirely open about where I wanted to live. Anywhere in the Cities or near suburbs, I said. But then I went to see houses in these places and realized I did not want to drive that far to work, or that the only way to access places was by the highway, so if it shuts down or there’s a bad snowstorm, I’m stuck. -To that end, i found it really helpful to make myself a Google map (you can make some and save them) of where I go. I included work, church, my bandmates houses, bars I like to go to, and my friends’ houses. Then whenever I was considering a house I’d plunk it on the map and see how it lined up with the realities of my life. -We’ll talk about offers in a sec, but remember that people can technically list their house for whatever number they want. So it’ll be up to you and your realtor to decide what’s fair. I mention this here, because a house may be listed way cheaper than others on your list—there’s likely a reason for that, but if it looks promising, give it a try! It could be that the reason it’s listed low doesn’t matter to you (i.e. it’s next to an annoying business that you don’t mind, or doesn’t have a garage but you don’t have a car, or the other houses int he neighborhood have yards and this doesn’t). Or it could be the seller needs to move it FAST and you can take advantage of their situation. -If you’re a handy person, a cheaper house might be a great option if fixing it up to be what you want is affordable for you. (Again, this is where a realtor like S can be super helpful to come up with those costs). For me, I didn’t want to do jack shit to the house, and I knew I’d be paying for that. (not that I don’t have a whole spreadsheet of eventual projects....but that’s invevitable) -Likewise, it can be helpful to set your filters to include houses a bit above your budget. Some people list their houses WAY higher than they should, so if you see a property that’s been on the market for a while (when I was looking the market was hothothot, so “a while” could mean anything over a week/10 days. In a slower market, you’ll want to look at those that have been listed for 30+ days), it might be worth checking out and then offering low. Chances are the seller will need to reduce the price anyway if they’re not getting any bites, and you could get a good deal by jumping in before they do that. -IDK where else to put this, but measure the garage. I didn’t, and I discovered like a month ago that my car (a little compact Toyota) is too long for my damn garage. It’s not that I wouldn’t have bought the house because of that, but I could have included it in some negotiations.

Offers -So you found a house you like! Now the scary part.

-You’ll get a sense of the market from your realtor, and they can usually advise you about how quickly you need to move on a potential offer. Sometimes a seller will give a deadline themselves: they call this “best and highest.” So they’ll say “we’re hearing offers at 3pm tomorrow” or “we’re asking for best and highest on Monday.” Generally that’s the cutoff for receiving viable offers. -In the market when I was buying, it was pretty common for houses to sell for 20-40K over the asking price. Again, some houses would be listed too high or too low, as I mentioned before, but on average that’s what I was working with. There were also a TON of offers on all the properties I liked. The lowest number of offers on a house I tried to get was 5, the highest was 19. That is kind of insane. In a slower market, when you’re not competing with that many people, you can offer closer to the asking price (or some people just say “asking” as in “20 over asking”) -The first thing I did when I decided to put in an offer, was to talk to my realtor so he could start getting the paperwork together. You can’t just email the seller and say “i want your house,” there are legal documents that have to be drawn up to make it a binding agreement if it’s accepted. -My folks bought their house without a realtor and did all the negotiating, etc, themselves, but they still needed a realtor friend to do the paperwork for them. If you go that route, you can probably do more informal offers, but IDK how that works. -The next thing I did was contact my lender for the following things: 1. I gave them the address and asked “Does this fall within certain DPAs?” 2. I asked them to run some numbers for me. Usually it was a version of: “What would my monthly payment be if I offered $240K and put down $5K in earnest money, and if I had $20K of downpayment assistance? How about if I offered $245K or $250K? What if I only put down $2500?” This helped me figure out what kind of offer I could reasonably make, and what it would actually cost me monthly if I got the house. 3. Then, when I decided what I wanted to offer, I would ask for a preapproval letter that includes the address of the property, basically saying “hey we’re a lender and we will give Jay a loan of $XX to buy this house, pinky promise” -I copied S on all my communications with the lender, so he knew what I was considering and he could give advice -(sometimes I saw a house on Friday and had to make an offer by noon on Saturday, leading to me trying to call my lender at 9am on a Saturday morning, which sucked. This is why knowing who’s on your lender’s team and how to contact them matters) -There’s no hard and fast way to decide on a good offer, because you won’t know how many you’re competing against. Sometimes your realtor might be able to chat with the sellers agent and find out how many people saw the property, if they have a sense of how popular it is, but sometimes you want. You want to be able to afford it, but also not go so low that you won’t even be considered. -Usually, your realtor will ask you to write a love letter to the house to include in the offer. “Dear seller, I love your house because of blah blah blah, I can see myself doing blah blah blah, specifics specifics.” Do these matter? I don’t feel like they do but whatever. Make a template and update it for each offer. -One thing to note about this is that you DO NOT want to give information about yourself regarding your status in a protected class (i.e. “we’re a young queer couple; I’m a neurodivergent person; I’m an immigrant/veteran/belong to X racial group”). It might seem like that would be helpful in certain areas, but sellers aren’t legally allowed to pick a buyer based on those things, so it ends up working against you. You can talk about what you do as a job or as a hobby, if you’re an artist, if you’re a parent, if you have pets, if you know who else will be living int he house with you, etc. You can hint at things. But S was very clear with me about keeping it pretty general and about the house. -Once you’ve decided on the $$$ you’re offering, you need to decide if there’s anything else to add to “sweeten the pot.” For some people, that’s saying “my timeline is totally flexible, so if you need to close in a month that’s fine, and if you need to close in 4 months that’s fine.” A lot of people choose to waive inspections. -OHHHHHH Ye olde inspection. Dear God. -The inspection is basically a thing where you hire a professional to look at the house before you officially seal the deal, and they tell you if there are things you need to be concerned about. So if the inspector comes in and says “yeah this roof is going to cave in in a year,” you can use that in your negotiation and say “look, I’m going to lower my offer by $15K, because I will need a new roof in a year.” then it’s up to the seller to decide if they want to agree to that, or if they want to try again to find a buyer who hopefully would not get an inspection. -to “waive an inspection” means that you’re agreeing to skip this step -OK so my instinct was always “I will NEVER waive the inspection,” and a lot of people feel that way. HOWEVER, I did not get certain houses because the people who did offered exactly what I did and waived the inspection. There was a buyer who had made SEVENTEEN OFFERS and beat me out on a house, and they got that house after SEVENTEEN OTHER TRIES because they waived an inspection. -I did get an inspection with my house, which was lucky and also thanks to S being a great negotiator. -I waived it on one of my offers -I would say I’d be comfortable waiving an inspection if: 1. You or your realtor knows shit about buildings, codes, etc. S knew a lot, so was able to look at things like furnaces, windows, basement beams, foundations, etc etc. 2. The important parts of the house are easily visible. Usually this means an unfinished basement. if the basement is finished, you probably can’t see all the structural things you’d need to 3. You’re already planning to do a bunch of work on a house, so you’re offering a lower bid and budgeting to do renovations anyway -At the end of the day, it’s your call. More about inspections below. -Most people who buy houses have mortgages, meaning that they can’t just drop $250K on a house. However, some people got it like that, so they make what is called a cash offer. Cash offers will win out every time, because they are usually higher, are easier for the sellers, and will often waive inspections. Depending on your region and your budget, you may or may not see this. I got screwed SO MANY TIMES and so did my friends, by all-cash, no inspection offers. The majority of these are from people who are buying properties to rent out or Airbnb - they won’t live there so they don’t really care if it’s solid, and my budget range seemed to be about where rich people who don’t want to flip a house felt comfortable buying. It was annoying. -but hey if you got it like that, go for it. -Once you have all the terms of your offer figured out, your realtor will send you the official offer paperwork that you’ll sign (prob. digitally). Then they’ll send it over to the seller and be in charge of all that communication. If the seller comes back with a counter, or with questions, your realtor will bring that to you. They may advise you, but at the end of the day it is up to you what you’ll offer and what you’ll accept.

You got accepted!

-Holy cats, they said yes to your offer and your terms! This is a huge moment to celebrate! I cried! And obsessively looked at pictures of the house over and over -The seller may come back to you with some proposed adjustments. In my case they wanted to round the selling price up by $1K, which I agreed to. (IDK why they cared, but in the grand scheme that was fine). They also wanted to change some of the verbiage in the offer that didn’t actually affect anything. -The first thing you’ll need to do is put down the earnest money. That is usually held in a trust or something similar until closing. But basically, if you said you’d put down $5K of your own money in the offer, you have to prove you have it right away. So don’t offer to put down earnest money that you don’t have! -The higher this number, the more appealing your offer generally is -There are a lot of things that will need to wait until you close, so this period of time feels really weird -You’ll have a purchase agreement (along with any addendums or changes) that basically says “I’m Jay and I offer $XX, the seller agreed to the price and the terms, we’ll see how it goes from here and if it all goes well, this deal will go through” -I’m gonna say it now, don’t ask me about escrow. Escrow is basically like an account where money lives between you and the bank. You pay extra into this account so that if something happens and you can’t pay what you agreed, the bank still gets the money for a certain period of time. or something like that, I don’t know, it gives me a headache. I’m sure other people understand it better.

Next steps

Inspection -If you included an inspection in your offer/purchase agreement, you’ll want to set that up within a few days. (Don’t worry about booking “last minute,” inspectors pretty much always work on that kind of schedule. Very few people are booking inspectors weeks in advance. This was something I felt bad about, but it’s okay)

-Inspections are pricey, and usually have different packages that include different things. I chose to do the sewer scope bc I had a friend who found some crazy sewer issues and I didn’t want to deal with it. Your realtor can probably give you advice on what you might need. -Inspector look at a lot of things: all your systems (like heating, cooling, pipes, electricity, etc), your windows, roof, foundation, gutters, attics, floors, plumping, appliances, etc. -They do NOT open walls/ceilings/floors, etc. So if it’s not visible, they won’t be able to report on it. -They’ll send you a big ol’ report, and if you can be there with them they’ll do a walk through with you to talk over big issues. Your realtor should come to that as well, as they might have good questions. -After you have the information, you have to decide if there are any big issues that need to be addressed. The inspector will flag things that are a problem legally, but it’s up to you how much you care about them. Some will be easy fixes. Others might be deal breakers that mean you decide to walk away from the property entirely. Most things will be in the middle. -Note that some things are legally “issues” but practically may not matter. There are certain outlets on the outside of my house that aren’t right, but I don’t intend to use them much and if it turns out I need to, it’s not that expensive to switch them out. My basement stairs are an absolutely death trap, but my laundry is upstairs and so i dont really need to use them much. I could spend like $4K to replace them, but I don’t care at this point, and it’s not a big issue for me. But legally they are terrible. -Some things may be an absolute problem that the seller needs to deal with before you’ll agree to by the house. -You and your realtor will come up with a list of things you want to tell the seller to fix before closing. They might fight you on some of them, and again that’s why the realtor being a good negotiator matters. -Generally, you want to ask for fixes on the important things, without asking for every little thing, so the seller doesn’t decide you’re too much trouble and they could probably back out and get a better offer that wouldn’t cost them as much in repairs. -for me, the garage door was busted so they defnitely needed to fix that. There was a pipe that was put in wrong that was a quick fix. And there were birds in the attic, so they needed to clear those out and go through and block up all the entry points in the room. All of these requests were reasonable, and the sellers agreed to them. -At this point, it’s up to you if you want to pay for a re-inspection (i.e. the inspector coming back to verify that they did all the work they were supposed to). I didn’t—instead I had them give me all the receipts from the work that was done along with photos and video of the work. That way if something is a problem in the future, I can contact the companies that did the work and take advantage of warranties, etc.

Home Service Warranty -Speaking of warranties! There’s a thing called a Home Service Warranty that you’ll need to decide on. Mine is through American Home Shield. Basically this is a warranty that covers things in your house. There are different levels of coverage, so some just cover the big things like windows/roof/furnace/water heater/etc. As you upgrade, it’ll include things like stoves, fridges, dishwashers, etc. -If you’re getting your own warranty, you basically pay a certain amount per month for the coverage. Then if any of the covered things break down, it get’s fixed for free (plus a small service charge. For me that’s $125). So if your inspector tells you “hey, you’ve got about a year left on this water heater” or “the furnace has some issues that might come up in a few years” you could save a BUNCH of money by having this coverage. -My realtor got this warranty included in my purchase agreement, so the seller is actually paying for a. year of my coverage at he upgraded level. This is SICK AS HELL and not every realtor will think of it—definitely mention it to yours. I didn’t even think of it as an option. Basically what this means is that if any of my stuff breaks this first year, I can get it replaced for very cheap AND I don’t even have to pay the monthly coverage fee. -When I moved in, my shower was broken. I tried to fix it, but the called AHS and I only paid $125 for a plumber to come look at it, order parts (which would have been pricey since my house is pretty old), and fix it for me. I hate my fridge, so I have a goal to break it this year so I can get a new one for free.

Appraisal -Okay, so you got the seller to agree to your fixes, everything is moving apace. It is time for the GOD DAMN APPRAISAL -(for many people, the appraisal is fine and is not GOD DAMN anything. For me, it was a nightmare and I didn’t sleep for like 2 weeks) -Okay so what is an appraisal. Basically, the seller said “my house is worth $XX” you said “I’ll pay $XX for it.” Your lender said “we’ll give Jay a loan for $XX.” But now someone else has to look at the house and determine if it’s a fair price for the house. This is what really determines the loan you’ll get (this is also why what you’ve gotten so far is a pre-approval. They’ve basically said “you’re capable of paying back a loan of $XX, but we need an outside agency to determine if this house is worth is”) -The appraiser will look at the house, inspection reports, and other sales of similar houses in your area. Ideally, this helps them determine if the price you and the seller have agreed on is in line with what is reasonable. -Banks are not going to give you a $400K loan on a potting shed in a ditch -It’s all complicated and this is where a lot of shit in the Housing Crisis came from -Basically, you want the appraisal to come at or higher than your purchase price. (if it comes in higher, do a little dance bc you got a deal) -If it comes in lower, you can be in trouble. That’s what happened to me. -A note about rules & regs - lenders cannot talk directly to appraisers. This is because of the housing crisis and all the shady backroom deals that were happening (i.e. if you appraise this house at this price, we’ll give you Mr. Appraiser Guy some kickbacks from the extra money we’re making in mortgage interest or whatever). In practical terms, this means it takes FOREVER to get messages to all the parties involved. -If the appraisal comes in low, you can ask for a reappraisal. It’s up to the appraiser if they agree. There are rules about this. -What Happened To Me: OK so my house is in a historically Black and immigrant neighborhood (read, historically redlined). This means a lot of the properties here are undervalued based on other locations. In a hot market, even undervalued properties can go up in price in a big way. In a slow market, that doesn’t happen so much. My appraiser only wanted to pull comps (meaning comparable sales of similar houses in the same area) in my exact neighborhood. However, there hadn’t been any sales of similar size/age/etc houses in my exact neighborhood since last winter. Guess what the market is like in the winter in Minnesota! Fucking SLOW boy. So these comps were coming in like $20K lower than my agreed price. So my realtor and lender took a look and said “look, if we widen out a little bit to these nearby neighborhoods, we can see all these more recent sales that are closer to our price.” It took two weeks of back and forth to get the appraiser to agree to add some of these comps to the appraisal. He was really reluctant to look outside my immediate area, because my neighborhood is of “lower value” than the surrounding areas. Structural racism, baby. Not against me, but against my neighbors and everyone who’s lived in this area for the past 150 years. Hooray. Finally, I got a re-appraisal that was $8K lower than my purchase price. So I was in a pickle. I had an agreement with the seller saying I’ll pay $XX, while the bank is now saying “we’ll only give you a loan for $XX-minus-$8K.” So either I need to come up with $8K MORE of a down payment in earnest money, or I need the purchase price to go down. Or i need to find more assistance. HERE IS WHERE HAVING S MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. He went to the seller and basically used his status and significant experience to say “Look, you can either agree to lower the purchase price by $8K, or we all walk away. If we walk away, this means you have to re-list the house, wait for more offers. And then even if you get an offer as good as or better than Jay’s, that person will still need to go through the appraisal process. So... you’ll probably be right back here. The only chance you have of skipping appraisal is if someone comes in with a cash offer, meaning they won’t need a loan and no bank is involved. But for a lot of the reasons the appraisal is low, those types of buyers (who often want rentals/vacation rental properties) ain’t looking to buy in this neighborhood.”

(or that’s what I imagine he said. It was probably smarter)

ANYWAY, all that to say a MIRACLE occurred, and the seller agreed to lower the purchase price of the house by $8K. I can tell you the whole story of how I found out over a drink sometime, but let me tell you I wepttttttt

-Anyhow, once the appraisal is good and you’re pretty sure the deal is going through, you gotta get insurance. call a bunch of places, figure out what coverage you need, see if it’s cheaper or easier to put car/life/etc in the same place. You have to have insurance if you have a home loan - basically the bank owns the house, so it’s in their interest to have it covered in case of disaster.

Closing

-I’m going to be quick on this, because it’s super technical and I only kind of understand it. -Closing is basically the day where you sign all the paperwork, after which the house is yours! Then you can start moving, renovating, decorating, whatever you want. -One of the things that’s part of closing is the Title and Title Insurance. Basically, you need to pay to have the paper that says you own the house, and then you have to pay for insurance on that piece of paper. Why. IDK. -At this point there’s so many random fees and charges, I just kind of looked at the totals and made sure nothing was way out of range of what I expected. -A few days before closing, you should have the following: 1. receipts/evidence from any fixes made to the house or a re-inspection report 2. Closing disclosures, which basically means any information that’s attatched to the deed for the home. This can include unpaid property taxes, any weird liens on the property, any easement agreements with neighbors you should know about, etc. 3. All the paperwork you will sign! -It is in your best interest to read ALL OF IT if you can. (the title person was surprised I’d read mine, which I found super worrying lol) -If you are buying a house by yourself, you will not BELIEVE how many times you will read “Jay, A SINGLE PERSON, is buying a house ALONE AND BY THEMSELF, as a SINGLE UNMARRIED ALONE PERSON” Very judgy. What are you, my grandma? -One thing about disclosures—it’s up to your title company to do research on weird shit that might be attached to your property. You can technically choose your title company, but I wouldn’t not recommend looking for the cheapest option if the company doesn’t have much of a track record. I had an issue come up with a payment the seller owed that was delayed, and my title company had to be the one that caught that. My friend and his husband got in trouble because some seller 5 years ago didn’t pay property taxes, and so the IRS came for THEM. The title company should have caught that before they closed and had it dealt with. They won’t end up paying it, but it’s a huge pain and they have to argue with the IRS which is never fun. -On closing day, you’ll do a final walk through with your realtor. This is your last chance to bring up any issues! You DEFINITELY want to do this walk through. If the seller left the door unlocked and an entire family has taken up residence in the living room, you need to know! If the contractor they hired to fix the plumbing knocked a new whole in the wall, you need to know! Don’t expect that the seller will tell you about any new issues that they caused. -This is your last chance to say “Hey, there’s a new major issue that wasn’t reporting, i ain’t signing shit until we re-negotiate” -If you find yourself in this situation (hopefully you won’t!) PLEASE don’t be afraid to say something! Don’t worry about how much time and money has already been put into it, or about calling out a seller who is acting in bad faith or fucked somethign up. This is your house! It matters! And your realtor should have your back. -But most of the time, the final walk through is fine! Then you go somewhere to sign all the paperwork. If you’re like me and have 3 different types of DPA, it will be two giant folders worth of paperwork. -Once you sign the paperwork with the Title Company, they’ll put the paperwork through. After that happens, the bank should transfer the whole ass agreed amount to the seller. Also, if your DPA is in the form of other smaller loans from other sources, those should be paying to the seller at the same time. -in MY case, one of my DPAs took 3 hours to process for some reason, so I had the most anti-climactic closing ever. I signed everything, waited for an hour and a half, and then they were like “you can go, we’ll email you when you officially own the house” So I just awkwardly hung around and ate pancakes until I got the email. -Let’s say you have a relative who wants to help you out with your downpayment (Yay! Every little bit counts!) Or let’s say you’re living with someone who doesn’t want the house to be in their name, but they want to contribute to these initial costs. You’ll want to talk to your lender about this as soon as you know about it. There is special paperwork for “gifts” that basically let’s it go directly to you downpayment but it doesn’t count towards your income. So if Grandma Bob says “I got $10K for you” and you just deposit the check in your account and plan to pay $10K more in earnest money, that will suddenly look like you have $10K more money to your name, so might change how your loan and DPA shake out. But if you get Grandma Bob to sign a particular document and give you a certified check, you can just give that right to the Title person and it goes right to making your downpayment bigger, therefore making your loan smaller! Thanks Grandma Bob! -”Cash to close” is essentially what you are paying at closing via all sources. So that’s your downpayment (including all assistance) any gifts, your earnest money, etc. Sometimes you have additional closing costs. They may be covered by DPA, or you may be on the hook to write an additional check. You’ll know this in advance. -Hey, check it out, you own a house now! -(keep all your paperwork0 -They’ll give you a document you have the file with the city called Homestead filing, basically telling the city that you own a house and you live there.

NOW WHAT?

-Now I’m done telling you things. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more, but also talk to professionals in your region who know things. -I started writing this post before I closed in July 2023. It’s now mid-November, and I’ve been living here for 3 months. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned that might be helpful: 1. It’s good to know what kid of walls you have (drywall vs. plaster and lathe, etc) because that determines how you can hang things on them. Also if you have plaster walls, just get a cheap magnetic stud finder. The fancy electronic ones often don’t work 2. It’s good to have a drill. It just is. 3. If there’s a big project you need done (say your garage is too short for your goddamn car), you may qualify for a home improvement loan from the same kind of orgs that give DPA. I’m doing it just because I don’t want to drop $3K in one go. Technically I have 4 years to pay it off, but I’m going to make larger monthly payments and pay it offer quicker than that. 4. We can talk about contractors and permit and zoning all day. Suffice to say, it’s good to look up who to talk to at the city about construction permits, and they can be both incredibly confusing and very nice. Often at the same time. 5. If you’re gonna have a roommate or partner or non-child family member who is paying you monthly to help with the mortgage, DRAW UP A LEASE. You want shit in writing, and they have rights as tenants that need to be respected. Many a relationship has been saved by PUTTING SHIT IN WRITING. (there are templates you can find) 6. FEELINGS: People always tell you “You won’t know how you feel about X until you do it.” Getting a dog, moving away from your folks, living with a partner, whatever. I am here as an old man to tell you, they are right. I had no idea I would have such BIG FEELINGS about this lil old house. When I come home and my roommate has the lights on and it has a glow, I feel so much that sometimes I cry! Setting things up, making decisions about organization, learning how to be in my space, means so so much more to me now than it ever did when I was renting. The stress is greater, too, because I have to make all the decisions! It’s exhausting! But every day in my house I am so happy to be here, I’m so glad my other offers weren’t accepted, because this is the best of the houses I looked at. It is my 117 year old baby and I love it forever.

Also I never want to do this again lol I’ve decided to die here.

#home buying #not really advice but kind of #per request

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soft-persephone · 6 months ago

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Jake Johnson Bonus Facts

Girl dad of two twin girls. The inteview playlist will go into details for you.

He was married his whole acting career!

Very sweet.

He built this log cabin during the pandemic and even did some of his zoom interviews in it.

We now know, I don’t remember if it from an interview with another podcast or on his own, he revealed that the photographers asked him if he wanted to put on shoes first before they started and he said no.

They are in his backyard and he’s one minute away from a pair of shoes, and he said no, for no reason at all.

That’s why we love him. (Or me at least. I can’t actually speak for you guys.)

I forgot three movies for part one, but also, tumblr won’t let me add any more photos to part one, so it’s fine. However, So sorry!

Ceremony

One of the first big movies he’s done. I don’t have all the facts on it, but it does have the earliest release date of most of his movies, so it’s safe to assume.

He’s not the main character, but he does have somewhat of a large role to the plot of the movie.

I’d argue it’s still worth watching!

Lee Pace is in it! As well as Uma Thurman!

It’s about this young guy who’s in love with this married woman and somehow he ends up at their wedding retreat and keeps trying to win her back, but she’s kinda leading him on. . . Or maybe she isn’t and he’s delusional.😏

Maybe it’s trying to be deep, maybe it’s not, but Jake Johnson is funny and he does drunk wacky uncle brother so well.

It’s not as intense as I’m making it sound.

It’s actually a joy with sentimental moments.

And also like watching a car wreck level of drama.

No Strings Attacthed

Mid 2000s typical romcom with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman.

Ludacris and Mindy Kaling is also in it!

That’s it. That’s the movie.

Jake Johnson is the wacky guy best friend of the main guy and he doesn’t have a lot of time in it, but it’s not a super long watch and he has a horrible goatee in the first few scenes. So that’s pretty fun to see.

And his character has an odd nice guy side quest romance going on with another girl.

It’s supposed to balance out how assholey the main couple gets to each other sometimes, but not really.

Imagine if hallmark was fancy and had a bigger budget and wasn’t afraid to say fuck and show sex.

Also!

This movie got him Nick Miller on New girl.

I think the writer of new girl was working on this movie and she liked him in this and it played a part in him getting picked for his audition!

Safety Not Guaranteed

A wacky movie about these journalist trying to find a bug story and the woman of the group deciding if local crazy guy actually can time travel or not.

Despite how wild the plot is, it is oddly super romantic and endearing…….or maybe it’s the part of my brain that finds the oddest things romantic because it wasn’t presented in a typical romcom formula.

Jake is a little mean in this one if I remember correctly, but I think that’s something we all like about him. He’s fun to watch when he’s angry or mean or yelling or maybe I’m just telling on myself.

It’s not my favorite, but it was a super fun to watch. It’s well made and if nothing else gets you, the suspense of knowing if the guy is really crazy or not will.

More fun facts!!!

He loves talking business so there’s more in common with him and Doug Renetti than you might think. It’s a bit of his. He does this a lot on his podcast We’re Here to Help.

He loves doing indie movies.

He has love for everything he does and truly won’t take a role if he doesn’t like it in some way or feel like he would enjoy the experience from working on it or working with the other people there.

He lives for collaboration and a group effort and team work. Which he talks all about in some of his interviews.

He likes having a say so on his character and trying to do as much as he can with it, and if you ask me, it shows in everything he does, and it’s a part of why all of his charters have a certain Jake Johnson feel to all of them. However, he is still a good actor and they are very distinct in their roles and purposes for each and every show.

He’s just, very good at his job.

He also talks a lot about his life in certain interviews and I tried to compile them in a playlist that you can find on

This post.

If you are a sports fan, go to YouTube and search Jake Johnson Chicago Bears or Cubs or ..sports…

I’m not sure tbh.

He looks homeless sometimes, especially during the pandemic interviews, but I am used to this and find it endearing. If you’ve never seen him look like this and are weirded out or disgusted, I am sorry and not sorry.

I only watched them because i can listen to him talk about anything. I just like hearing his voice and looking at his face.

It’s amazing background noise when you have to work or study. Some of these sports podcast are so long and go on forever.

If you want help finding access to some of his more hard to find movies, please let me know and I will help as much as I can. Do not hesitate to dm me for any additional information

Thank you for reading, and I really hope these two posts have helped!

#Jake Johnson #how many times did I say wacky #Jesus someone take the internet away from me

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scary-movies-on-netflix · 6 months ago

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HOST (2020)

It’s the beginning of lockdown in 2020, and a couple of friends decide to hang out on Zoom! For fun! One of them has hired a medium so they can perform a virtual séance! For fun!

The medium seems nice enough, but the dude member of the group (Ted) has to drop out when his girlfriend cuts off his feed. Nothing much happens. They hear a bump. One girl feels a hand on her shoulder, but then another girl feels a hand around her throat! She senses someone named “Jack,” a friend from school who has recently hanged himself! The medium’s internet goes out, and after a minute the last girl, Jemma, admits that she made it all up. Her friend, Haley, who organized the séance is pissed. The girls start arguing, but Haley’s chair is suddenly dragged away by an unseen force!

Spooks start to occur, mostly involving seeing images of hanged people. They call the medium, who is disappointed that Jemma fabricated her experience and darkly hints that they might have summoned “demonic” forces. The call is dropped, but Haley leads the girls through an ending ceremony, and the girls calm down because they sense that the spooks have ended! But, we know that they have not ended!

Radina: Her boyfriend disappears, but then he drops down from the ceiling! Radina tries to run out of the apartment, but she is dragged back inside and then her camera never moves again. I assume she is killed.

Caroline: She earlier went up into her attic. Her friends saw dangling feet, but she saw nothing. At first, she seems fine because she has a fake, repeating background of her walking through her room, but then we see her face being bashed multiple times against the keyboard. I assume she is killed

Haley: She started the call, remember? Something drags her by the legs into the hallway and the door slams shut. I assume she is killed.

Ted: He who logged off earlier. He comes back, but then he is chased around by spirits. His girlfriend is lifted into the air, her neck is broken, and then her body is dumped into the pool. Ted is spooked by his dead grandmother’s music box, and then he is knocked out and burned alive.

Emma: She has an involved spooking. First, she sees a digitized face floating in her house. She spreads around flour and sees footsteps heading in her direction! She very sensibly hides under her blankets. She hears a noise and stares at her darkened doorway. Emma tosses a blanket into the air, and it lands on an invisible figure! She runs outside, but she is lifted up into the air and dropped on a table.

Jemma: She who faked the first spook and prompted this entire debacle. She breaks quarantine and runs over to Haley’s house. Her friends one by one log out of the Zoom call. A bottle of wine flies through the air and bonks her on the head. Jemma gets up and finds Haley hiding in the rear bedroom. (They bump elbows instead of hugging.) They slowly walk to the front of the apartment. Haley repeatedly fires off the flash of her instant camera, and they finally see a ghoul lunging at them.

The Zoom calls because they’ve reached the time limit for their free accounts. The end.

This was good, a solid entry into the “found footage” sub-genre, but there are some differences from the usual format, as we can see all of the actors’ faces nearly all of the time. Otherwise, we’ve seen this same conceit before, such as in “Unfriended” (2014) and “Unfriended: Dark Web” (2018). This movie works well within the context of its time (i.e. quarantine and Zoom calls) and sounds like something a bunch of bored friends might do. The characters aren’t much more than outlines, but the filmmakers did provide them with some personality in the short running time (less than an hour). The frights aren’t novel, but they’re well-executed and all tie together thematically. A short, fun film overall.

NOTE: Hey, do you read my reviews and maybe sometimes enjoy them? Maybe consider "following!" I'm always watching new and old horror movies. Let me know if there's something you think I should check out. Thanks.

#host #horror movie #movie review #found footage #good #2020 #haunted internet

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sobredunia · 1 year ago

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hi bbg i have a question for you, how different is european spanish from latin american spanish? also do you know of any spanish speaking youtubers/streamers u would reccomend to me :)

There are a lot of differences, also considering how latin american Spanish is so different within its countries

Fun fact, there is a commonly used abbreviation of latin america, latam

In Argentina they use the word "vos" to refer to "tú" ("you"). This is generally pretty unused in other latam countries and especially in Spain, it's a pretty old way to refer to someone in a higher position you're not friends with with respect. Also generally in latam they tend to use more formal words, like "usted" or "ustedes" ("you" in singular and "you" in plural. They're formal words just trust me bro)

There are also differences in how we name things. A particular phenomenon I've noticed is how they tend to use words that are more English sounding, which is understandable considering how closely connected these countries -especially mexico- are to the US

Imma put English words, then the word in latam, then the word in Spain

Refrigerator: refrigerador, nevera

Computer: computadora, ordenador

Cellphone: celular, teléfono/móvil

For Spanish speaking YouTubers I recommend, there are a few which are very funny and very poggers

Rangugamer: he plays videogames on YouTube. His videos are most of the time an hour long so unless the adhd stars align on you it's better that you watch compilations of funny moments. He makes a lot of adult/dark jokes but they're incredibly funny, he is really good giving varied voices to the characters in the games he's playing, he's actually gained a little bit of fame for being able to predict shit in the stuff he's in the middle of playing, and he's managed to make a lot of popular memes that get referenced by other spanish youtubers

Eme: this man hasn't uploaded an animation in two years but his videos from like six years ago are still extremely funny. He makes a lot of puns and jokes you can only get if you can understand and decompose the language but if you don't get them it just looks like silly stuff that comes out of nowhere which is entertaining nonetheless. There are also a bunch of other visual gags and random bs that are funny even if you don't understand jack shit, like a dictionary he has that moans when it gets opened. Pretty nice ngl

Invokah: he mostly makes Deltarune theories but he's also talked about other stuff like Inazuma 11, rain code, and yo-kai watch. His videos actually get subtitled to a shit ton of languages, so you can watch it with English subtitles and learn a word or two that way. He's pretty entertaining and his character is nicely designed and drawn

Leyendas y videojuegos: he makes theory videos and dissects lore and talks about game development and whatnot and he's talked about a shitton of games, including FEZ which is why I love him forever and ever and he is so cool. He's actually making a videogame of his own and putting the development logs as videos in his channel. Also he's friends with Rangu, the guy I talked about earlier, and they're fucking hilarious together he thought squids were made of legit rubber

Joseju: this guy is an absolute god of comedy. He talks about videogames but in every video he always brings something new to the table. He reviewed a racing game where all the characters are in zooming toilets in fucking prose like it was a poem. He roleplayed as Walter White on skate 3. He made an hour long video where he dubbed over metal gear solid with a few other people like it was a shitty movie. He was actually the reason why I got into GRIS not because the video was really funny, but because he chose not to make the video funny because the game was just too delicate and sensible and beautiful to do that to it. He's made legendary skits dubbing over the flex tape commercial and over fish documentaries. He became a waiter at this random burger joint just because. He played fucking amongus VR and ran over his dryer. He made a review of tears of the kingdom where the thumbnail was a picture of him with the text "I don't believe in human rights" with flames in the background. You gotta watch at least one video of this guy please I beg you

As for latam YouTubers the ones I can undoubtedly recommend are

Sr.Pelo: you know why he's here

Holasoygerman: this guy hasn't uploaded a video to his channel in like 6 years but people still regularly rewatch all of his videos because he's just that funny and nostalgic (it's me I'm people). He makes short videos that are around 10 minutes long where he talks about random things in a funny way, like the first time something happened in the history of humanity, food, typical things, the friendzone, and the English language. I'm pretty sure most of his videos have English subtitles so u could try watching them n learn cool stuff. His stuff is so ancient it was actually a rather running gag across multiple videos how he's so excited for GTA V to come out and he can't wait. GTA V. The old ass game where it is a universal gag that instead of making GTA VI they just remake it over and over for years and years. Yeah he's pretty cool u should watch him

#ask #ask me a simple question i come back to you with a bible and a half lmao #hector #Spanish

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foster-the-world · 2 years ago

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Adoption is (slowly) happening

In December baby boys Mom appeared again. We haven't seen her in person in 2.5 years. Only on a zoom court call one time. She surrendered her rights directly to us at the TPR trial. It was all on zoom but she was very sweet. She thanked us and talked about how much she loves him. She asked for a conditional surrender. We signed to monthly visits and 2x picture check ins a month. We are more then happy to do all of that stuff. The more he can see her the better. We've never felt she was unsafe - only unavailable. She notarized the form and showed up to both zoom dates. We sent some text messages back and forth during the holidays. Then she stopped responding. So sad. I hope she comes back around someday but fear it will be a different phone and she didn't keep our numbers.

Its a relief to have the surrender directly to us. As far as we've been told he doesn't have any family available but its nice not to have to worry about someone coming forth now that he is free for adoption. I know some people think even after being with us for 2.5 years if a stable family member is available he should go to them. With the exception of his parents if they improved, I don't agree. Would I do anything for him, including giving him up if it was best for him = yes. Is there a chance unconsciously I'm just convincing myself with us is best because its best for me = also, yes. Either way there is not another option so with us he stays forever. Its certainly where he feels at home. We've got a new lawyer, new caseworker, new home study person. Lots of visits over the last couple of weeks. I think they are going to double his base rate. We did not ask for it but will take it. It will nice to have the padding if we need it for his OT or whatever comes forward in the future. Even the base rate was increased by $500 per month in the last few months due to some lawsuit. The money aspect feels odd but I'm not above taking things for my kids. We certainly spend more then they give us on each kid - as we should. Nothing is confirmed about the increase - so we will see. They are telling us adoption should be May/June. It will be over zoom. Which is anti-climatic but I don't care. As long as it gets done.

Have to decide if we will invite friends to log on. Seems kind of nice but also don't want to ignore adult adoptees who don't like making it a celebration. For me, the TPR was the sad day to acknowledge everything he has loss. I'm sure that will be an ongoing loss process. Adoption does feel more like a celebration but don't want to ignore his possible negative feelings in the future. We will think about it. For Bee we had our parents at the courthouse. One set of friends came to the restaurant afterward. It was a lovely day. My husband's Birthday, actually. Not sure baby boy's going to be willing to sit in front of the camera. Maybe will give him a lollipop and strap him in his high chair. We also need to think/finalize a middle name.

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airyairyaucontraire · 2 years ago

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What I reckon would improve Pokémon Scarlet and Violet in addition to fixing the performance problems and visual glitches people (not me though) have been experiencing:

Revamp the cities so all the shops have proper interiors and so you can once again barge into strangers’ houses to look around and sometimes they give you a present

Things that look like things should actually be things. Like that Delibird Presents warehouse in the pottery town. That looks like it was meant to be the location of some kind of side quest or maybe a much more interesting gym test than the one you actually get there. It’s nothing. It’s the opposite of one of my favourite things about Breath of the Wild, that if you see a place that looks interesting, there’s almost always something to do or find there. The towns feel only half complete because of this. Same goes for the Team Star forts. They’re unnecessarily spacious and you can’t look into their tents/shacks and there are no meaningful interactions, as far as I can tell, with any of the loitering delinquents and it makes me really miss Po Town.

Put the clothing and accessory shops in an area together, not spread out around an unnecessarily large and empty-feeling town. And while we’re at it, why on earth did they split up the categories of garments and accessories into different shops? It only calls attention to how limited the selection is in each one. This wouldn’t matter so much if they would…

LET US BUY CLOTHES. Look, I know I’m a school student in this game, but why do I have to wear my uniform all day every day? Make it a postgame reward that you unlock real clothes shops! It’s your vacation now, you can wear whatever! And include some skirts and dresses for anyone who likes to wear them.

Voice acting for main characters and cut scenes (unnecessary for randoms with whom you have only short interactions)

Let us lock the minimap with north at the top, like the big map, because I hate it wiggling around

It would be nice if my trainer could jump, like just a little hop to get over the fallen logs in some of the woodland-like settings

Put something cool in that space round the back of the school castle

Minigame where you can braid Arven’s hair and put stupid little accessories in it which he grumpily tolerates

Make Pokémon hunting in the wild work like it did in Legends Arceus, I loved that

Bring back the box search system from Let’s Go!

Zoom controls for the Rotom phone camera

#pokemon sv

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cricketrocker · 2 years ago

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Remembering to Remember, All the Memory Utility of a Bag of Hammers, and World's Stubborn Spin Just Anyway

I concede that my memory is often starting to resemble a bag of hammers. Sure I can still remember the lyrics to Tears for Fears’ Sowing the Seeds of Love, but if you asked me why I was so glad it was Friday, I really don’t think I could remember and tell you all the things this week that made me want to eat broken glass. But yeah. “He had all the memory prowess of a bag of hammers,” I can see someone saying about me after I logged out of my last Zoom meeting and decided to eat 40 Chicken McNuggets in an effort of self-medication with Hot Mustard sauce to death.

Lately, though, I think that the bag of hammers has me beat(en). Maybe all of us.

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I’ll come out and say it. I’m talking about all of us, but also me. But I’m talking about how well our memories seem to work in the clatter-clatter-hammer collective amnesia since whenever the last f-ing mass shooting rocked us wherever we were happening to exist at the moment, maybe not remembering at all to remember the last f-ing mass shooting that clatter-clatter-hammered our bag of hammer rememberer organs. Mostly mass shootings. Maybe how I can remember Sandy Hook like it was yesterday because my son was exactly the same age. But maybe anything as well that’s like a shooting but keeps happening anyway and no one does anything. America. Forgetters.

I remember exactly where I was (Eisenhower Middle School) and what class I was in (Mrs. Davis’ 7th Grade Language Arts) and who I was sitting next to (Jennifer Davis—who was nice, but looked like an owl—and always “loaned” me paper even though I had my own) when another teacher (Mr. Pabst, the Physical Science Teacher) RAN IN and exclaimed, “IT EXPLODED, IT EXPLODED!” and he ran out and we turned on the TV and watched the space shuttle explode over and over. Somehow, I’ll bet everyone remembers that. But then when the shuttle blew up, and the next shuttle blew up a few years later, etc.—I couldn’t tell you who or where or what, but I guess sometimes shuttles blow up and whatever, what can we do, thoughts and prayers… The first space shuttle blowing up left us stunned, shocked, and proclaiming in a chorus, "IT EXPLODED! IT EXPLODED!" But the one after and after and after…meh. I’ve got things to do.

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But the world kept turning. Then Sandy Hook happened eventually, and I know they’re not the same, but the world kept turning as regular as clockwork, “THIS IS NOT NORMAL! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! THIS IS HORRIBLE! and all of our combined communal outrage flared up for a while, but then somehow just got packed up, and thrown like a fragile piece of glassware into the burlap-gunny-sack-attic-mixed-metaphor bag of our minds along with all the hammers only to be dusted in broken pieces for the next exploded space shuttle, or the next “you think that’s bad? Hold my beer!” tragic moment. That we can’t do anything about. Despite being able to build Artificial Intelligences that, and yes, I just asked, will tell us what our Zero Intelligences can’t figure out:

Prompt: Hey, what should humans do about mass shootings.

Answer: Addressing the issue of mass shootings is a complex task that requires multifaceted solutions. It is a pressing problem and involves not just gun control, but also mental health, socio-economic factors, and even our culture and societal norms. Here are several approaches that will help humans:

Strengthening Gun Control Laws, or Actually Have Any: Countries with stricter gun control laws have fewer gun-related deaths. Some good laws include comprehensive background checks for all gun sales, banning or limiting access to assault-style weapons, and implementing laws that prevent people with a history of domestic violence or individuals with restraining orders from acquiring guns.

Mental Health Support, Especially Support to Take Away Guns from People With Mental Health Problems: Improved access to mental health services can help identify and treat potential issues before they manifest as violence. This includes reducing the stigma associated with seeking mental health treatment and ensuring that insurance companies provide coverage for these services. A good way to prevent people with mental health issues from accomplishing mass shootings is to have gun control laws.

Public Awareness and Education: Public education about the dangers of firearms, how to safely store and handle them, and recognizing signs of mental distress in others can all be helpful.

Research and Data: For too long, research on gun violence has been underfunded and politicized. More comprehensive research could help inform policy decisions and identify the most effective strategies for reducing gun violence. Simply create a database that tracks everything, all the time. Every bullet, every person, every gun, every day. I'm sure the data will be shocking.

Community Intervention Programs: Programs that identify individuals at risk of violence – and intervene with counseling, social support, flat out prison, or even--you know--not allowing people who are at risk of violence the ability to buy guns. Somehow, studies show that preventing violent people from shooting people results in less people being shot.

Crisis Management Resources: Having robust (or any) systems in place for managing and deescalating crises can prevent these situations from leading to mass shootings. This includes crisis intervention training for law enforcement and other first responders, as well as strong school and workplace policies for handling threats or incidents of violence.

Policy Change: Having a Soul, Any sense of Humanity, and maybe even Strong political will and leadership is needed to make and implement policies that can effect short or long-term change. This will involve measures to flat out limit the availability of firearms, implement stricter controls on gun sales, improve mental health services, or a combination of these and other strategies.

Cultural Shift: Ultimately, a cultural shift is necessary in how we perceive and handle conflict, and how we value and protect life. This isn't a quick or easy change, but it's an important part of the conversation.

Any effective approach will likely need to involve a combination of these and other tactics. At the end of the day, reducing mass shootings will require collective effort, meaningful conversations, and evidence-based policy decisions.

I mean. I’m sure that these responses alone will likely lead most Republicans to effectively start regulating (or shooting) AI—and fast! I don’t mean to get all political here, because really—the problem is larger than people, maybe. But you have to admit that no one ever shot anyone with a machine gun who didn’t have a machine gun. Even a person with mental health issues literally could not shoot people with a machine gun if he/she/they didn’t have a machine gun. I’m not really here to discuss guns, though.

I’m here to discuss that not 10 miles from my home, in Allen, Texas a few weeks ago, sure, another shooting of people by another person who probably would have just mental-healthed all those people to death if he hadn’t had a machine gun. But yeah. Here’s what I’m talking about. I’ve forgotten most of the details already. Just like I’ve forgotten most of the details of Sandy Hook. I feel existential dread of all kinds. But I feel the most dread that—since Sandy Hook—all the way to Allen—that our collective Bag’o’Hammers memory, well, can’t remember. Holy hell.

When I was a kid, I got my face stuck into a cactus plant.

The memory of that pain and trauma—is still with me. I still avoid cacti and I don’t find cactus humor amusing. That moment changed me, it changed my behaviors, it changed the paths I follow in the wilderness when there are cacti about. And I can point to what happened in Allen, Texas—and I can point to Sandy Hook. And the thing is, I don’t remember those very well. What about all of the thousands, literally thousands in between that I cannot remember. That you don’t remember. That there’s someone remembering. Or precisely no one, remembering to remember.

Not sure what you’re thinking. At all. Cricket, you say—maybe are you saying that we’re forgetting or are you saying that we’re just moving on—or are you trying to call people to action? Get to the point! I don’t know, really. Just feel guilty that I have agency and that my memory is faulty, except about Tears for Fears lyrics. I deleted the news applications off of my phone recently, I couldn’t handle it anymore. LOOK—MORE THINGS TO REMEMBER BUT ONLY UNTIL TOMORROW. I drink my morning coffee and fizzy juice and it’s like…I’m more aware that Dilbert got kicked out of the newspaper each day than I am about the last mass shooting victims because today’s paper has simply introduced me to the latest round of mass shootings to forget by tomorrow.

It’s kind of like just reading the statistics of a professional sports season—only the season is never ending. I love baseball, for example. During baseball season, I follow all the standings, scores, stats, etc. I can KEEP TRACK of things in those stats that help me to remember things. But imagine if baseball season never, ever ended, it was just more and more stats, always piling up, the standings of death, the stats of shooting, the scores of which machine guns were killing the most people, and maybe each shooter could get a special “mental health batting average” or something—and we could all just collectively keep track. That might help with the forgetting.

Here are some things that I know. They will not be immediately evident. It’ll be like watching the movie Linoleum, starring Jim Gaffigan, which is literally amazing. But consider this: my great-grandfather mined coal. My great-great-grandmother was quasi-orphaned before that, and raised by a family called the Graves’. She took the name Graves, and no one knows who her parents were before that. There’s so much that I do not know about my other ancestors. But. I know that one mined coal.

I’m here on a badass computer, I’m over-thinking the problem of AI, and I wish there was more that I could do to change the world but you know what? I’ve never had to be a coal miner. The things in front of me are not hard rocks to splinter. I don’t have coal dust in my fingernails and I don’t have black lungs. And I wonder, I wonder what great-grandfather worried about, and I know that while he didn’t have an inkling of me, or this moment, or these words, or these wonders or worries. I hope he knows that the world that was turning then, maybe too powered by coal—or thank goodness powered by coal so that I could…BE. I remember you. I remember you. I remember YOU. Great, great, grandmother Graves—I remember YOU.

And the Earth spun for you and the Earth, I don’t know what to tell you, is still spinning anyway. Mayhem. Madness. Laughter through tears. Coal dust. Forgetfulness. Just keeps spinning. Capacity for survival, our strength to go on, round and round, with every turn, hopefully rememberful of a new opportunity that better is possible.

How can I stop forgetting? Can I do anything that’s better?? Not optimistic, but hopeful. If our forgetfulness has taught us anything, it's that we are fantastic at moving on. But maybe it's time we channel that talent in a slightly different direction. Slightly more remembering. Please remember longer, grieve deeper, and sharpen that memory, that emotion, holy moly, as fuel for change. Please don’t move on, away from the tragedies, but linger with purpose towards solution, something better.

We might only have memories as useful currently as bags of hammers now, but hey, we've here’s the deal – these hammers can both build and demolish. Maybe that’s not so bad after all. Apologies. This probably could have used some editing.

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#Youtube

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