#and it’s hard to figure out which one I rly am if I’m even just one

[cringecrew]

New kin flag!

Seacreaturekin/Seacreaturekith

A kin/kithtype that is tied to sea creatures in any way, merkin, selkiekin, sirenkin included! Helpful for questioning kin and otherkin.

The blue stripes represent (left to right) the zones of ocean biomes: Sunlight, Twilight, Midnight, Abyssal, and Trenches

The gradient strip in the middle represents all the different varieties and colors that sea creatures can come in and how every one is different!

[artsyannierose]

Nene’s Dead Corpse and her ghost bf

randomly made a crap ton more sense to me

why?

fricking school (screw school I hate you (no not rly I’m just stressed))

Anyway I’m a biomed class where unit 1 is studying medical investigations forensic science style

and one of the things is like, what happens to a person after the body has been dead for a while (post mortem or sum, see im learning :D)

Things like algor mortis, livor mortis, I’ve heard of. In fact I’ve even studied the clouding of the corneas before, but it never got to me till today

maybe it’s cause I cannot for the life of me study forensics without my wild imagination giving me nightmares or just panicking when I’m alone but aNyWays

I tend to imagine characters associated with death in these scenarios so I don’t lose it in class💀

*cough* Nene *cough cough*

So as I was taking notes on the slideshow, some of the images of clouded corneas reminded me strangely of something familiar, but at that point I couldn’t tell. There’s something haunting about the eyes (or maybe it’s just my over-analytical brain loving small details like this) they’re GORGEOUS

LIKE

IDK THEYRE PRETTY

Maybe it’s ‘cause the true color of the iris is completely visible in all its glory, without the pupil obscuring it

(something like this?? A little vivid tho lol)

but like

there’s no

life

no reflection, no emotion…nothing (which is so hauntingly beautiful leave me alone I’m a sucker for this now)

it’s literally just an eye with nothing but color

and then it hit me…it’s exactly the look Nene had when Mirai fast-forwarded her time

you can see in the image it’s just her plain magenta eyes with a fuzzy de-saturated blob in the center…aka clouded corneas

And that honestly made me realize that in this scene she’s not—she’s not even unconscious

No she’s literally, physiologically dead

THAT IS A CORPSE HE IS HOLDING

she is literally a dead body this hits me so hard😭😭

and I can imagine algor mortis kicked in by then, her body was probably cold to the touch

so imagine how he felt, and I’m aware people have analyzed his emotions but just think about it

he’s always seen her so full of life and hope, and now all he has left is an empty shell of her, cold and dead with no life left inside

…just like him

the more I think about it Hanako is just an animated corpse

he has no reflection in his eyes most of the time because he is ✨dead✨

I mean Mei, Mitsuba, and Hanako don’t have a little white reflection dot like Nene and Kou

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Nene’s eyes are just super reflective

even for someone who presumably took his own life, he probably never saw tsukasa’s body start postmortem and actually feel dead bc it looked extremely bloody ngl (I’m guessing he killed himself right after 💔)

and now he’s holding someone he cares about like this for the first time and I’ll bet that scarred him

and he figured out that never, never ever did he ever want to see his sweet assistant like this again, lifeless in his arms

and so after that, cue Hanako in his villain era who basically became a yandere the entire picture perfect lmao

and he was unbelievably adamant about it too

I mean honestly if I held anybody I knew lifeless like that I’d be scarred for life and crying for days

seeing the light drained from someone’s eyes is so interestingly sad to me

Look at the difference:

Happy

vs Sad/Determined

vs Depressed (ig??)

vs Dead

She still has so much emotion in her eyes

and then d e a d

literally looks like a porcelain doll

wait she looks so pale in the last image compared to the others now that I think about it

I love aidairo’s eye for detail it’s so fun to figure out

Well anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk essay atp-

IT’S PAST 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR SAID BIOMED CLASS AND HERE I AN GOING ON A TANGENT ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER’S EYES

send help

anyways excuse me while I grab a box of strawberries to munch on and cry my eyes out all over my homework before I sleep-

[coolingrosa]

Honestly about nightmare....it upset me quite a bit how he just didn't at all understand why Killer was acting out like this. It felt so obvious? Like with Dust showing up and Killer acting out in response to it....Unless this is a common occurrence? I am really wondering what nightmare thought about this, if he even tried to read Killer and his behaviour or perhaps ask Dust about the relationship between the two. Did he just not think anything about it? Just assume "oh its a kid throwing a tantrum, it'll pass"? Man i'd rly like to know it from his perspective. Maybe he is used to ppl throwing tantrums, considering I am pretty sure error flips out a lot too. I guess the problem hereby lies with the fact error is an immortal and an adult and killer,.,,is not. and nightmare just simple doesn't distinguish the two properly.

But honestly I think nightmare should have known better than to snap at Killer ToT..... I believe that him snapping did ultimately the most damage, error just kinda added a bit more salt to it to be put it simple. After all Killer favoured Nightmare obviously a lot more than Error, he was like a parent figure for him basically. So Nightmare snapping would mean a lot more than what Error says. I don't like how error told Killer that advice though, he basically just told him to "suck it up", in the pretense of "caring" for nightmare and not wanting to see him upset. It feels wrong to say that error cares though, because of how he is STILL stuck in the past. It almost feels like he is talking and giving advice to Killer more for himself than for nightmares sake.

Both error and nightmare are so inexperienced with mortals and so fucking mentally fucked up themselves, I doubt they will act any different unless someone who is a mortal corrects them...And I honestly thought Dust would do it? At one point it felt like he knew why Killer did it, but then it felt like he did not?

ultimate question however: how will nightmare react to Killers change? I wonder if alarm bells will ring or if he will just think that Killers "phase" finally passed. And I fear it'll be the latter.... So sorry for the long ass essay, I have SO many questions AND IT IS SO HARD TO TELL WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND HOW THIS MESS OF A MAKE-SHIFT FAMILY IS GOING TO DEVELOPE.....

You’re analysis is so wonderful and definitely the mixed emotions I wanted to give. Especially since good and evil doesn’t exist in Roseverse, just people and their actions. A lot of my YouTube and tiktok dragged on Dream solely for a while due to the limited knowledge, so chapter four was a big drop as it showed just how out of depth and horrible Nightmare and Error could be as well. I’m gonna try to answer each part of this the best I can without revealing too much!

1. Nightmare is used to Killer acting out, which happened a lot in the pilot, so he doesn’t put two and two together that these moments are connected- especially since Killer has never been put in a situation around him to show that he ALSO has jealousy issues as well as self esteem issues. For a while it was just them and sometimes Error in the castle, which Killer never showed an act of jealously towards- only distrust.

2. Nightmare’s perspective won’t be shown a lot in the next Bad Sanses chapter unfortunately, so I’ll try my best to explain his reasoning here. Don’t take it as a defense. I may explain characters and their actions, but at the end of the day, Nightmare is a adult and has a responsibility.

Nightmare’s main flaw (and I can now finally state this) is that he doesn’t care for people who are not under his radar. Saying he doesn’t know much about negative emotions is redundant, but his abilities to help with them have long since faded ever since the loss of Ink. Killer clearly is the product of a teenager with intense mental health issues, and Nightmare never got to see Ink as a bratty teenager. Killer is the only example around him and so he quite frankly sucks at it and sees his outbursts as…well…tantrums. He can’t fully see Killer for what he is and constantly sees him as a child due to his own age, and that belittling makes Killer’s emotions and rightful feelings come across as childish to Nightmare.

The mention of Error is also correct. Nightmare is used to emotional and violent outbursts since he was thirteen- especially from those close to him. Error and Nightmare as children weren’t healthy and Error was an abusive friend. I will always state that. However, though Error improved his ways, Nightmare never fully blamed him for such things and therefore never saw anything wrong with the people he loved lashing out and being hurtful. It’s normal for him- and also not smth to be addressed in his eyes. However, Killer is a child and as the adult, Nightmare has a responsibility to step in and correct his behavior with disciplinary action rather than passiveness. But, of course, he doesn’t until he finally snaps

3. Yeahhh I will say what Error told Killer didn’t bother him too much until he made the comment about Dust. Killer is far too use to the verbal abuse Error shoots at him that it rolled off of him and he was more annoyed Error was still in the room. Error and Killer just aren’t and will never be close enough for their fights to leave any impact. Nightmare, though? After finding out truly what Nightmare is capable of and then being told that? Oh, yeah, Killer is crushed.

4. This was one of the few times Error tried to actually help in his own way. Error doesn’t word himself well, even when being vulnerable. He hoped Killer would understand it as “there’s no need to lash out as ur already here and cared for. So just stop hating urself and others and finally feel secure. “ Was it not so great advice and easy to be misunderstood from what he actually meant? Yea. Did he just COMPLETELY miss the mark on mental health and the struggles of slowly getting over the fear of abandonment and the steps it takes to FEEL that security? YEAH LMAO. But Killer definitely misunderstood him as well. And Error also misunderstood something about Dust as well. I’ll expand more on that in my last point.

5. Dust may be smart, but he can’t put together a case without solid evidence and explanation and due to him not being there from the start, he doesn’t truly understand why Killer is acting like he is. He knows it has something to do with Nightmare, but what that actually is? He can’t know. I believe this won’t be a shock, but Dust does think Killer was being abused by Nightmare and therefore becomes like a guard dog. When Killer jumps him, that ideas gets thrown out the window and Dust is left utterly confused on the motives. He doesn’t hate him, though. He’s just confused, and hurt.

6. And unfortunately, Dust isn’t empathetic enough to be the one to truly understand things. Wonder who will be, though…

7. I cant say too much as that’s a chapter seven thing, but I will say it’s where Gus the immortal frog comes in (Killer’s pet) and given by Nightmare. I’m sure you can put two and two together as to why Nightmare, who is clueless about everything teenager related, is stooping to giving the apathetic Killer a pet 😭

8. Almost forgot this part but Killer is an unreliable narrator. He will always be, and the next bad Sanses chapter will see that, as it won’t be in his perspective solely. Everything he sees and thinks is unreliable. For example, when they reach the au and Dust is slowly blinking at him while Killer demands to know why he came too, Killer takes it as a threat. What if Dust actually doing? Blinking at him like he’s a angry cat bc Dust doesn’t understand emotions and defeats to animal behaviors to help soothe this teenager LMAO

[bestworstcase]

ahaha. ahhaahah

she is going to spend the rest of the volume ripping herself apart to not be this

also god lmao “and penny—she—jaune tried to help, but she sacrificed herself to save the power” lol. lmao. weiss says the quiet part out loud but man. “jaune tried to help”—says the girl who lunged straight at cinder fall to protect her friend, who fought so hard to try to give jaune time to save penny and nearly died herself in doing so. “penny sacrificed herself to save the power” says the girl who is alive now because of that sacrifice. it all happened so fast. nobody came back from vacuo to help. jaune tried to help, but—weiss wasn’t good enough, and no one else was there. god. weiss sweetheart her blood is not on your hands.

“you weren’t supposed to be here”/“if you thought we wouldn’t come for you” ruby rose master of spin but also like yang straight up woke up in wonderland and concluded she was dead and the one thing she had left to hold on to was that at least she died saving her baby sister. at least it was her and not the others. and then they’re THERE and all she sees is my sister is dead until ruby makes it sound like they came here on purpose. to find her. if they came to rescue her then they can’t be dead and maybe she isn’t either lmao god. yang has been here five minutes and already gone on a whole emotional roller coaster while RWB got lost on the beach.

also she rly went welp i’m dead and a raccoon stole my arm so i’m gonna uno reverse the jabberwock about it, how do you like THESE eyes of flame you fucker. which is like the most yang thing she could possibly do lmfao. you think she’s traumatized? could a traumatized person do THIS? *chases a monster until she’s so exhausted she can barely stand* girl literally does not know what to do with herself if she’s not taking care of somebody else so she just goes apeshit on the most dangerous-looking thing in the vicinity because that’s WHO SHE IS, isn’t it, that’s what makes her special, every time something knocks her down she picks herself up and punches it back twice as hard, except it’s not working anymore. this time the monster runs away and yang runs herself into the ground clinging to this empty pantomime. “i said i wasn’t done with you yet!”—she sounds so strong—like the one liner, the rock to the back of the head, it’s a pitch perfect heroic entrance and then

babygirl you are serving yourself to the monsters on a silver platter again.

anyway

hysterical that blake just fucking body slams her. local bisexual gets in touch with her inner freight train. love is stored in the broken ribs

blake is also shaping up to be the one who lands on her feet and i am really intrigued by how strongly the ever after responds to her decisiveness; “i think we focus on getting everything back, then we can figure out how to get out of here” and the sunlight breaks through the clouds as the rain that answers ruby’s misery stops. it’s interesting because it positions blake pretty blatantly as a direct inversion of ruby, emotionally, in this moment, and the contrast being underlined here is specifically ruby’s overwhelming, paralytic despair vs blake’s clear-eyed focus on the what’s immediately in front of them. RWY are getting sucked into this vortex of anxiety about what happened after they fell but blake really hits the ground running. right out of the gate, she found weiss and immediately settled on a clear, achievable objective (find gambol shroud by piecing together its probable location based on when it fell in relation to herself and weiss and where they landed), already thinking ahead to what their next step should be after that (find yang and ruby) and trying to piece together what exactly this place is. she’s able to take a deep breath and shelve her feelings about the things she doesn’t know and can’t control in order to break her and her team’s current situation down into small, manageable steps even though she’s just as scared, confused, and upset as they are—

which 1. god she’s grown SO MUCH since the fall of beacon, and 2. what we’re looking at here is, i think, the first open salvo against the huntsman ethos. blake recognizes intuitively that their first priority right now is themselves. they’re not huntresses down here. they’re not the noble defenders of mankind; whatever the situation in vacuo is, it is wholly and completely out of their control and there’s nothing they can do to change that. so she’s putting it down. and as she lets that burden fall off her shoulders the sunlight pours through the clouds to show her the way forward.

[tamamatango]

Friendship Power Scaling (normal thing to do)

Hello space frog fans, how’s everyone? Take another random off-the-cuff analysis post while I procrastinate on the more significant things I’m supposed to be doing (including the Project I plan to reveal when I put up the next part of said project) because I feel like my brain is melting like candle wax these days.

Here’s a topic I’m sure people have thought about but not really put a quantification to: I will be ranking the Keroro Platoon and their partners by their mutual closeness, as in which have the most believable Platonic Soulmates dynamic. (Read: strictly platonic we do not ship any of these in this house.) Why? Idk do I look like I know why I do anything?

So first place is Keroro and Fuyuki. Duh. Literal world-saving levels of bestest best besties forever, would be completely devastated without each other, needs very little explanation really. I guess it is sort of funny that in terms of demeanor they are maybe the least similar out of the duos but they adore each other so much it just doesn’t even matter.

Second I would say is Dororo and Koyuki. Koyuki rescued Dororo both physically and emotionally and completely changed his outlook on everything pretty much, and Dororo is Koyuki’s only real constant in her life from the village. Dororo is pretty overtly more loyal to her and their shared duty to the Earth than he is to the platoon lmao. More pronounced in the manga but still. It’s kinda hard to pinpoint their exact relationship (siblings? Dororo is her dad? Koyuki is his emotional support human?) but their bond is definitely Very Special. Even in the new project trailer Koyuki is holding him, they are so friggin sweet dude.

For third I’m gonna be spicy and say it’s Kururu and Saburo yes I am very biased but hear me out. Despite being the only pair that doesn’t live together it is heavily implied that they are near perfectly in sync but just have a really weird indirect communication system that’s sort of obscured from the audience and even more so the rest of the cast. They act nonchalant about it but they will drop whatever they’re doing immediately if the other needs a solid no questions asked. In the manga they’re even more openly buddy-buddy with all the 親友 and マブダチ talk (anime Kururu is tsun af and pretends he’s too cool for friendship) but they get even less screen time together so rip. I’ve spent more than enough time on these two before but yeah they have extreme best bro energy everyone else just isn’t big-brained enough to Get It.

Fourth is Tamama and Momoka. They’re very much cut from the same cloth and are definitely like siblings, helps that they’re the closest in age out of all the pairs (Tamama might even be a little younger than Momoka depending on what exact Keronian age theory you subscribe to). Momoka pampers Tamama like a pet, they occasionally boost each other via training, and Tamama helps with Momoka’s Love Schemes. But despite the fact that they are kindred spirits in several ways I think they put their pursuits of Keroro and Fuyuki a little above their friendship. And Momoka is not afraid to just kinda kick Tama’s ass, sometimes for good reason sometimes for no reason lol. They still love each other they’re just not as deep in each other’s heads as the higher duos.

And finally the take that would get me tarred and feathered in earlier Keroro fandom days which is putting Giroro and Natsumi last. Okay, so we know Giroro is for better or worse extremely dedicated to Natsumi in an arguably unhealthy way (well, it’s not rly arguable lol, but it’s more innocuous if you headcanon father figure theory and not The Other Thing). But does Giroro have the same level of importance to Natsumi? Eh, I mean she sees him as a close family friend and she obviously really cares about him plus certainly favors hanging out with him well over the other little guys (though she is closer with Keroro than it seems), but I think the affection is very lopsided on one end here. They both have a warrior-like disposition and a soft side but idk how much they relate outside that. And they’re not really each other’s clear BFF in the same way the other duos are since Natsumi has Koyuki and Giroro has Keroro (and Dororo as part of the RGB trio but it’s Keroro who is specifically stated to be his Best Friend in the manga). Their friendship is very cute but they just don’t have the same Unbreakable Bond Sauce that the others have yknow. And sadly they kinda Have to be a little less good at reading each other for the Giroro pining over her jokes to land. Sadly.

Well that’s it, kind of ironic the explanations got longer the lower down the list but that’s more where I felt I had to justify my positions. Like nobody is going to argue me about Keroro and Fuyuki right. At least I hope not because then I think we might have watched a different show? I mean I guess they win a bit less overwhelmingly in Sgt Frog Abridged maybe you watched that. Fuyuki gives Keroro a speech about how fucked up he is in that one that was surprisingly metal

[coredrill]

bravern

i’m rly vibing w senor bighands design thus far………………i hope it looks good in action!!! the deathdrives’ designs have been pretty hit or miss for me tbh, like i rly love superbia and cupiridas but knuth/pessimism/vanitas are more meh…….like i generally enjoy the unique shapes in THEORY but i just feel like they also suffer a lot from being overdesigned the way a lot of modern 3d mecha are and it makes them kind of hard to parse out on screen which is :/ like so many of the shots are just so BUSY that it’s hard for me to get a handle on what is going on yknow? i can’t stop thinking abt what that shot of bravern saluting smith would look like if there were less details fjdbjfjdndbdn

if burn bravern + superbia gattai. that robot will literally be red + yellow + green + blue + purple. 🤨🏳️‍🌈⁉️

if on the off chance it turns out lulu IS biologically related to smith. i think it’ll make that one scene from ep3 where the hotel owner is like “🤨 she doesn’t LOOK like your sister” a fucking million times funnier LMFAO. also i am still suspicious of why her name is lulu if NOT being just the repeated first syllable of smith’s name like a noriko -> nono situation. this has fr been my tin foil hat theory since ep3 and i am not letting go until the end!!!!!! (although also side note that in general i am not EXPECTING any of this lmao. i honestly am mostly just finding such joy in the fact that this show is batshit insane enough that stuff like this is like. relatively plausible? at least to consider floating around? like it’s the same w the “lulu is biologically smith AND isami’s daughter cause isami’s blood dripped in bravern and her hair is blue and her eyes are red and she pilots the PURPLE deathdrive” thing - like the fact that i’m not immediately rolling my eyes at the idea tickles me greatly LMAO)

the way that the pieces for this episode have been positioned intrigues me to no end. like. it’s bravern + lulu + superbia(? i assume) Who Know and isami Who Doesn’t. and the side characters who ALSO don’t know are also not there (at least in the setup). although tbh i could see miyu having an inkling abt it or at the very least being super chill like she was in the Bad Future. like that rly opens the floor up from both a plot perspective (don’t have to worry about whatever power these new DDs have cause only the core cast will be affected) and from a character perspective (don’t have to cut to the faces of Literally anyone but isami going like 😲 once the truth is revealed. if isami doesn’t figure it out for himself first. or however that plays out) and its so smart on the whole and i’m genuinely so excited to watch it play out!!!!!! like even if miyu et al roll up in the last two minutes to help save the day with um. idk it’d have to be smth completely new i suppose cause they sure do have like one gun that is marginally effective against the DDs FNDJFJJDJS it pares things down for max efficiency which is really smart imo

japan and the US jointly developing a mech that reads your brainwaves is the most sus thing in the world LMAO like i could not sleep at night if that thing were real even moreso than the deathdrives themselves

i think there’s at least one more twist left. like ep9 was The Twist and then they pulled time travel AGAIN in ep10 which is genuinely WILD to me. so like. idk maybe ep11 is Old Man Isami coming back from ANOTHER future to sunbathe in the volcano FNNDNFN

i am also not counting out a g gundam style ending yet and Getting Smith Outta That Thing. obviously my own biases are very much at play here but like. if the moral of this show is that you gotta live no matter what you just HAVE to live and fuck time and space and convention because the people who love you will make sure you live. like. if any show is gonna have its cake and eat it too and keep both bravern AND smith around? i feel like this one could pull it off!!!! not placing bets ofc but like its possible yknow? but again that is also based on the assumption that the end point of the show is at all congruous with its current status quo, and something that my feeble human mind can even conceive of with the information that is given, so we shall see. LMAO. the idea that they’re all just gonna be fucking isekai’d into the florist AU that staff loves so much is ANOTHER idea that tickles me greatly for being something so in line with the insanity of this show that i cannot IMMEDIATELY rule it out even if i very much doubt that’s where we’re going LMFAO. bc smth like that sure would fucking vibe w the final battle taking place somewhere “unexpected” (again, if that’s true, idr if it was just a rumor or not) and also how uninterested the show has been w the state of the world at large barring a few scenes. HM.

anyways final predictions for this ep is that i will cry atleast once 👍

[ufonaut]

hi !! you said that u don’t rly believe in the entire conversation around superheroes + facism and i think i agree with u but i would love to hear more of ur thoughts abt that as someone who is more into older comics than anyone else i follow (afaik) and i think that brings a much needed perspective to the whole discussion. kind of an ironic ask cuz i am asking u to contribute to a conversation that both of us think is kind of pointless but i’m just interested in why u feel that way cuz i also feel that way !

hi!!!! no, this is a great, i think it's an interesting/much needed conversation to have and i've never gotten into it at length so forgive me if i'm less than articulate but basically my jumbled thoughts about this always come back to that alan moore interview that everybody & their mother loves quoting when discussing watchmen and related material

which is funny because i do, in some ways, agree with moore! it's just that what should be applied only to the monopoly marvel movies have on the current cinematic landscape & their status as glorified us military propaganda somehow ended up being applied to all comics & superhero media as a whole, which is ridiculous.

i feel like moore's primary issue is that in the years since watchmen he's lost his love of comics and basically became a rorschach level nihilist about the industry as a whole -- generally understandable as a result of that level of success but concerning when people without his specific circumstances echo these talking points. see, moore used to love comics, i mean he used to be out-of-his-mind-in-love with comics and you can tell that much from watchmen's text alone & the real (very much real!) comic book history found in the text pages and the in-universe pirate comic that could only come from a die hard fan of the medium. hell, you can't write a good deconstruction of the thing without knowing it inside and out but he's by no means the man he was then and his work has lost its appeal to me for this exact reason.

anyway, moving on from that, the general belief seems to be that superheroes are quasi-fascist to begin with -- cops, in effect -- and that their popularity is a sign of a downward slide into fascism and the worship of infantile stories that do not challenge your worldview and offer only comfort. like, this is what the superheroes & fascism conversation often comes down to and in keeping with the watchmen theme, i'll say that's also the most common & nonsensical complaint i've heard about doomsday clock (that and the fact that it doesn't revolve around one single subject ala the cold war in the og book, which is also nonsense). the thing is -- there's nuance here! it's completely nuts to say that an art medium created by jewish immigrants in the middle of wwii is a gateway to fascism, it's just nuts!

the golden age of comics did feature heroes that were idealized figures who respected the law, that's very much true, but there were also heroes who were believed to be criminals (like rex tyler, the 1940s hourman was a wanted man in his solo stories) and the justice society stood for things like hope & friendship but not an undying pledge to serve the us govt. above all, their politics were as explicitly anti-fascist as comics ever got because they were fighting literal nazis! i mean, my god, there was nothing childish about the stakes of that era of comics even if they were aimed at audiences of all ages!

and like, i suppose it's the silver age and not the golden one that most people are nostalgic for and it's the silver age that moore deconstructs in watchmen but that same nuance can be found there and by 1970 (a mere ten years into the silver age!) this exact discussion was being broadcast to the world by dc comics. hell, whatever can be said now about the bootlicker tendencies of the likes of hal jordan & similar characters, denny o'neil was already saying then:

(part of o'neil's 1983 introduction to the green lantern/green arrow volume collecting the infamous 1970s stories)

i guess what i'm getting at is that anybody who believes comic books cannot be challenging or liberating or political or sometimes downright revolutionary and anything in-between simply doesn't know comics! like film, like literature, like any art form, its values are up to its authors but the automatic connection between superheroes & fascism in the eyes of so many people is completely ridiculous and the public perception of the medium cannot be left up to mcu.

[dandyshucks]

hiii dandy !! i wanted to ask, what do you think you and guzma would do post-canon after the events of sun & moon ? (i might have asked this before - if i have, i apologize..) (i also wanted to say that its been really cool seeing ur progress on ur plush!! it seems so hard, so you having that skill is rly admirable and i wish u lots of luck w finishing it!!) (@dmclr)

CLARA HI i hope u (and dimitri hehe) are doing well :] !!! wah thank u for the question, u havent asked it before dw !!! 

OKAY SO admittedly I mostly only know the story through reading Guz’s wiki page a few times (teehee) and through osmosis from the general fandom dsgjkl, i want to play the game one day and maybe read the manga, and I’ve watched the anime eps he’s featured in and that’s all i’m watching of that LOL. I haven’t actually experienced much of his story (or su/mo in general) first-hand myself though fdsjkl

answer below the cut because.... the rambler's curse got me LOL

after the events of su/mo, I don’t think he’d actually disband Team Skull because… what is the point of that honestly LOL, so Team Skull stays together in MY version of the world hehe. they’re required to do community service to make up for whatever shenanigans they get up to, but they stop stealing pokemon and move onto just like… graffiti and casual pranks and stuff. they still cause trouble, but it’s mostly mischief now rather than any actual crime. I set them up to work on murals for shop owners around the islands so they can spraypaint and be artistic that way rather than randomly tagging walls and getting into trouble for it fjdskl. they keep their disdain for authority figures and rules because at the end of the day most of them are rowdy teens who feel outcasted from society, and that’s just the way the ball rolls with them (also a certain level of that is healthy and warranted tbh). I work with Plumeria to organize events and outings (outside of community service) for the squad though, which helps give everyone healthier outlets for their energy and focus.

Hala mentors Guz to help put him onto (and keep him on) the right track, and Guz learns to appreciate the islands and their traditions a bit - even if he still doesn’t agree with all of them. Part of that mentorship is also sort of therapy (in a more holistic naturally-occurring way rather than like... clinical therapist sitting with patient), so trauma gets unpacked and healthier ways of handling emotions are learned and implemented. Also fuck the Aether Foundation HFDSJKL I keep Guz far away from Lusamine and make sure she never gets close to him again (idk what Gladion and Lillie get up to, I haven’t thought enough about them yet fsjkl). There’s a lot of healing and self-improvement and learning how to Be A PersonTM for both of us tbh!

Beyond that, it is mostly just regular Alola/island living!! Beach visits, walking around, getting ice cream and popsicles, casual battles with tourists, catching wimpods, all that sort of thing :] Also we visit Sinnoh (my home region) for half the year (i have… a whole schedule worked out for that actually LOL) so there’s that, too.

as for the plushie omg thank u sm WAUGH :D i cannot tell if it’s just because i have a weird hodge-podge skillset but i DO think it is not actually all that difficult !!! you just need a pattern for cutting the felt and then I learned the ladder stitch for hand-sewing, and it’s been very straightforward on how to sew the pieces together!! the hardest part so far has just been the hair because I have a difficult time translating 2D images to 3D reality in that way.

I just really want to encourage ppl to try their hand at new crafts and creative skills because I think it’s really fun and honestly really good for ppls well-being!! i am very passionate about making creativity accessible to people as much as possible!!! maybe i could make a tutorial or smth… the pattern I'm using is free and available on the creator’s website, and it’s genuinely not that difficult esp compared to some other things i’ve tried my hand at in the past LOL I feel like some of my paper mache projects have been more complex than this lil goober!!

THANK YOU AGAIN, AND SORRY ABOUT BECOMING THE RAMBLING RAMBLER LMAO i actually entirely rewrote this once because I wanted to shorten it and it STILL ended up this long 😭

[itsfuckinganne]

a better update

it is December 28, 2022 n my year has been a big learning lesson. a lot of it, most of it, really hurt.  I chose myself a lot this year and completed my year’s resolution which is to set boundaries. I honestly dont understand why I took this long to act upon the things I want 4 myself but im not surprised. im a very stubborn person and all I do is deflect by creating a different scenario in my brain. das why ive been in this continuous cycle of getting played by the game and I jus..let it happen. I craved things that were not ready 4 me and it made me realize how I keep repeating it LMAOOO but this year I broke some serious habits and reenforced the comfortability of my space. therapy helped a lot (shout out Tina Merced, you are a very kind woman. u are one of the only people who has figured me out..) and having a positive feedback ab my decisions and how I think helps me understand myself. it felt (past tense/explain later) really good to just focus on what I plan 2 do next year. last year I just really wanted to show up 4 everyone more so I ended up acting upon emotion rather than balancing it out w/ what’s realistic. *I forgot what word 2 use in the last sentence so I went on my phone to change the song and then I remembered. I'm listening 2 defibrillator by smino* 

anyways, yeah this year I showed up for myself even if it hurt a lot to let go and I feel a lil lighter. im guilty of a lot, especially how present I am in my rlsps, and I am still for a bit more, but im doing better and those close 2 me see it. I said this all in past tense because Im a lil hurt right now, but it's just an owie. I allowed myself 2 give someone a benefit of the doubt and I feel as if they abused it a little. I know when I reread this in the future 2 reflect, I'll know exactly what im talking about. rather than feeling sad, im SO disappointed. i was feeling a lil better and I thought that would be okay, but I shouldn't disregard my accomplishments cus they're worthy of celebrating. allowing myself to forgive but just being proven right is horrible. it was a real wake up call to continue my self love journey cus I was getting some where and it was somewhere good. my best friend told me that “I know youre a good person and you do too so u dont have to give people multiple chances to prove that” and it struck hard (but 4 the better). I appreciate the transparency that I have w/ my friendships cus w/o it, I probably wouldn't b able to keep myself accountable, but I have been recently and thats why 2023 is going to be a good year. I wonder what karmic situations im going 2 be in. im not anticipating bad, but I can handle some lessons. im allowing myself 2 learn and thats my true end goal. at the end of the day, im just figuring it out. I dont think im doing that bad, but some reassurance would b amazing. I know I am worthy of everything I desire. to have, to feel, to experience. Im going 2 move forward so I can live better 4 myself. by doing that, taking this time, I can show up better. I want 2 do better, b better, all the things ive imagined myself to b. I cant believe I spent so much time settling 4 what I have cus Im constantly validated. the issues r real. I need 2 tell Tina ab this bcuz it makes so much sense. people pleasing cus nothing I ever did pleased my dad. that shit hurtsss, not gonna lie. but thats what I mean, im learning more and applying what I have 2 in my life and its working. by realizing that the pattern exists bcuz I dont rly speak or ever knew that was an issue. it hurts a bit 2 realize that someone who was a part of my life is now booted out of the next year. in pain bcuz I sat through conversations of him telling me how much he loves me, and how I cld b his polly pocket so he could take me everywhere, and how his family loves me, and all these other things and he STILL ran w/ what he wanted. honesty is the best policy and this lil set up pushed me to let go and let live. I wish I cld cry more, im purging the fuck outta this because I cannot let it repeat anymore. I also learned that some people only last so long in your life bcuz of how you coexist together. cutting ties w/ ppl you used to b family with takes a piece of you that dissipates like the rlsps thats gone. sounds dramatic, but that breakup was horrible. also, my dating life was quite the shit show. had my hinge phase, coworkers phase, toxic situation ship (two of those..at the same time but in my defense I was nvr asked 2 b a gf.), & my celibate phase. I nvr intended 2 dissect but it was rough 4 everyone I know and myself. im blessed enough 2 be surrounded by people who want whats best 4 me cus the goal is something we all agree on. 2022 you helped me show up 4 myself better. 2023 were going 2 show up better for ourselves and those around us. ive realized so much (1:11am , im sry in advance) & Ima share w/ some privacy of course. high school situationships r finally cut and I jus cant believe it but im happy 4 everyone whos living in love. realizing im the problem , speaks for itself. im officially tired. thats an update 4 ya

my fit 2day

goodnight

happy new year

[saetoru]

I would love to hear your thoughts on Al-Haitham’s childhood bc I’m also so interested in it

ALSO-

“you think you deserve a few pieces of him too—even if your fingers have to reach past the cracks themselves, even if they have to slice against the jagged edges and bleed a little in the process”

THIS LINE HAD ME GASPING FOR AIR IT WAS SO GOOD 😭😭 I LOVE YOUR WRITING

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS okay i’m putting them under the cut

anyway here’s a headcanon of a comprehensive timeline i worked out with bub of his time at the akademiya and then here’s a screenshot of me explaining it to lulu for u all BUT BASICALLY i hc that he starts at the akademiya at 16 and i figured him graduating in the standard 4 years would be impressive enough as is since lisa holds the record for like 2 years or something as fastest graduate and some ppl spend like until their 30s

BUT ANYWAY in his character story he goes to school as a kid but comes home and tells his grandmother it was boring and he wanted to be self taught and she agrees.

BUT i think baby haitham was much more sensitive and soft as a kid :( he’s actually rly kind as an adult i think most ppl in sumeru just miss it and think he’s some cold dude but he has rly strong morals and he just acts like he’s being practical all the time but i think he’s a bit more sensitive than he lets on in nature. and idk i like to think his grandmother sent him to school and was hoping for him to make a friend or two bc he had a hard time socializing bc he was a bit different from the other kids. but also i like the hc that ppl make that he’s like neurodivergent and the noise canceling headphones are to help w that so i think that also made it hard for him to socialize as a kid. so anyway i think he was bullied a bit as a kid—and on his first day of school which is why he didn’t wanna go back. idk i think it hardened him up and he adopted this attitude where he didn’t rly care what other ppl thought of him anymore and just preferred solitude bc the kids were always harsh. he’s definitely an introvert and stuff but every kid wants a friend i don’t think al haitham came out the womb like “i think socializing is dumb” u know ??

and then his grandma 🥹 i love her so much 🥹 she loved baking and he used to sit with her in the kitchen and help and they’d talk and he’d tell her about his books. they used to sit by the window when the sun set and drink tea together. when he was smaller, he’d sit on her lap and read books out loud to her and she’d always follow along with pride at how smart he was so young SOBS :( he was always tiny for his age so she used to carry him around on her hip. when he was 12 she got sick and he started to take care of her more and he also started to grow a bit bigger and she started to see more and more of his father in him.

when she died he hated living in the empty house without her and he enrolled in the akademiya for her sake more than his—altho he always planned on it just not so soon. and then when he got offered that house w kaveh he took it bc he wanted to move away from his childhood home bc it reminded him too much of her :(

also i think he avoids tea and baked stuff since her death bc it also reminds him of her. ANYWAY im glad u asked this bc im literally in the process of writing a childhood friends to lovers fic w him where ur like his one and only friend growing up and im so happy writing it bc i get to throw in all my silly lil headcanons about his childhood in there and he’s so special to me u ppl don’t understand and HIS GRANDMOTHER IS SO SO IMPORTANT TO ME he’s a granny’s boy 🥹☹️ that’s so precious im so fucking sad she died i wish she was alive sOBS i miss her so much idek her but i am so devastated she’s gone

also ty for reading the drabble and enjoying it i will kiss u so so hard MWAH 💋

[theinkgirl]

I posted 6,997 times in 2022

36 posts created (1%)

6,961 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@greatlordfluffernutter

@ziracona

@coredesignixandnekonee

@guqin-and-flute

@cavitysearch

I tagged 5,523 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#mdzs - 1,837 posts

#wangxian - 912 posts

#svsss - 357 posts

#the untamed - 324 posts

#art stuff - 310 posts

#animals - 276 posts

#tma - 178 posts

#fave - 157 posts

#stories - 146 posts

#bingqiu - 140 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and sqq figures out that the sweet pathetic thing is largely an act and thinks it’s ridiculous but aso figures out it’s lbh’s 4d chess ploy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“I think living is an act of defiance. Every day you tell the universe, ‘I’m still here. Don’t forget me. I’ve so much I’m going to change.’”

-Hello From the Hallowoods

80 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#4

omg so glad you thought the same about twv!! I just finished and so many different parts of the last episode made me so mad, idk if they're trying for a season 6 (even after saying this is the finale) but I'm not going to listen anymore. if you have recs for similar podcasts i would rly love them

lol I’m glad some people enjoyed my incandescent rage. Like. Woof.

I’m so sorry you had to sit through that finale. And baiting a new show just. Doesn’t do anything for me. There are so many ways TWV fell short and didn’t follow through that there is absolutely no way that I believe another show by the same writers will do any better. So handshake through the screen, Anon; I am sharing and understanding your problem.

As for recommendations, I like horror podcasts, but I usually like cosmic horror and folk horror best—which is a slightly different flavor of horror usually? Also a lot of the horror that I like is in book form. But for podcast recs, You’ve probably heard all of the ones I like, but here are some ones that I did enjoy:

-The Silt Verses: folk horror. Only one season is currently out. You get a lot of religious trauma, evil capitalism, and mythology somewhere in between nielman and Old Gods of Appalachia. A lot of old gods and their religions have been banned by the government. Two disciples of one of these illegal gods, a river god, are traveling the river looking for evidence of their god’s miracles and existence. The god itself, like All of the gods in this world, is horrifying and requires human sacrifice, the two disciples are both serial killers; and the state-sanctioned gods and the police sent after these disciples are Even Worse.

-The Magnus Archives: Cosmic horror/horror tragedy. Everyone and their dog seems to have listened to this but yeah. I’ve listened to it at least 3 times through. Very very good at not answering every possible question but knowing what questions need answering and answering those. Favorite. Also, I enjoy that it is and was always intended to be a horror tragedy, but that one character became So Powerful in personality and beliefs that they changed the way the author wrote the end. And capitalism is evil.

-Old Gods of Appalachia: LOVE this one. Cosmic horror/folk horror anthology. Capitalism is Definitely Evil. Really, really good understanding of the people and culture it draws from—which makes it feel kind of like home. Lots of angry and powerful women, lots of nuance, fantastic environment, Yuri Lowenthal was there?

-Alice Isn’t Dead: Surreal horror/cosmic horror. Creepy Americana. A woman thinks her wife is dead and then starts to see her in the background on the news, and then becomes a truck driver for the company the wife worked for in order to search for her. A complete story with a beginning, middle, and end. Good at knowing which questions to answer. Capitalism is evil. Human beings are hard.

-Hello From the Hallowoods: This show is so /comforting/ despite the horrible things that happen in it that it’s almost strange to call it horror. But it still is. It’s just a very kind horror podcast. This is fantasy horror and cosmic horror. The world changed and began to end when a cosmic horror-type god (an Indescribable) who was then killed, introduced a black rain and black water that killed a lot of life and has altered the rest. The dead rarely stay dead; but they come back changed. There are Monsters in the poisoned world. And a lot of the monsters are just people. A lot of the human people are monsters in disguise. The generation that saw the black rain start is in late middle-age and the children were born into this world. There’s a Huge cast, pretty much every character is queer, pretty much every character is nuanced, and there’s So Much Religious Trauma. Also, capitalism is evil; most of North America (at LEAST) was run by a company whose goal is to have all humans become their ‘customers’ whose bodies are protected while their minds exist in a sort of shared-dream world that was heavily marketed even before the world ended. There’s a huge rotating cast (including undead romance, undead robots, demons trying to defect from Hell, a girl trying to rescue her disappeared girlfriend and her kidnapped-by-capitalism mom, an invisible man, a forest-based commune under attack by evolving frogs, and a sentient car). Everything is narrated by an Extremely Invested and extremely comforting Indescribable whose domain is Watching Everything.

-Welcome to Nightvale. Guys, the show has run longer than it should have. It ran into problems when it started to try to answer some of its many long-running questions that shouldn’t have been answered; and the answers were so much less compelling than the questions. It sort of ossified eventually. BUT. The first several years of this show? Were amazing. This is the Foundation of modern narrative podcasts, and the father of queer podcasts. It’s the reason this medium is so much more diverse than others. This is surreal horror/horror comedy. And the first several years give you an Incredible Environment, occasional real fear, and /The/ Narrator (you don’t GET Jon Sims or Nikigkik or even Doug Eiffel without Cecil Palmer! You just Don’t). I think everyone should listen to this show, at least all of the way through the Strex Corp arc. Capitalism is evil, community is everything.

Honorable Mentions go to:

-I am In Eskew: surreal horror/cosmic horror. Sometimes a person just ends up in this incredibly fucked-up city. This isn’t my favorite kind of horror. But. It was well-written, is a complete story, and it was interesting. It raised some questions that I thought were left too open-ended. But the main character’s arc was told so thoroughly and completely, that I’ll forgive it. The confusing and unfinished vibes are confused and unfinished and bigger-than-the-story like Neverwhere*. If Neverwhere was surreal horror about an environment/city/genius locus that wants to just completely break your mind. Capitalism is still evil.

-Wolf 359: Sci-fi horror/thriller. Starts off as an episodic sci-fi comedy with off notes. Becomes a horror-thriller. Not my favorite brand of horror; some of the plot gets a little convoluted for me; but I did really like the character work. Capitalism is still evil.

*Neverwhere is one of my favorite books ever though. So the vibe isn’t what I didn’t love. It’s just the genre

Anon, again, I’m very sorry; and I hope you find something much better to listen to next.

If anyone else has recs for Anon, please chime in!

108 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#3

What are the tumblr Dracula Daily folks going to do when they get to the end of the Jonathan section. Are they going to switch blorbos? Is Jonathan’s day in the blorbo sun going to be so clearly marked?

200 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#2

my sister was talking about wizard ghost book with me, and was like ‘I know there’s like 7 gay tragedies, but the most canon ones, the nice ones, (she was meaning wangxian and songxiao) both have the surviving person in the couple become the caretaker for the other one’s kid. And I really like that’

And she’s right. It’s a parallel I hadn’t noticed. You can’t not pay attention to LWJ raising WWX’s child while he’s dead. But Song Lan doesn’t just take the shattered fragments of his partner’s soul. He’s given (as if it’s the most natural thing to do) the shattered fragments of his partner’s kid’s soul too. And his stated goal is to safeguard both of them, take care of both of them, figure out a way to repair both of them get both of them back. He doesn’t have any promise he’s getting either of them; but he takes them both. He knew A-Qing for like 4 minutes before death, but that’s his kid now too.

I don’t know where I was going with this, I just saw that official art with Song Lan and the shadows of XXC and A-Qing and started typing at light speed

296 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

mxtx was so fucking baller for making the sex in svsss so bad. the meta deconstructing sex to save the world + why sex with the parody of an archetypical character in LBH model would suck but also just being 25-30+ with zero (0) experience. also it's just king shit to have the only sex in your romance novel be just the worst. legend.

1,744 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

I was tagged by @ziracona

So I'm going to tag any of the following people if they want to do it and haven't done it yet: @chellonihaoma @zukkacore @dangerouslytransparentgarden @baddielabelle @aethersea @thistaleisabloodyone @opheliaelric

[muiltifandomnerd]

Hey this is me, from a backup obv. Sorry it’s really long

I just wanted to explain why I got mad and give you a proper goodbye (and apology) bc I didn’t at the time. I figured you’d need a few days to cool off, so that’s I’m doing this now and not the morning after. I usually don’t get mad at you, that was genuinely the first time that I’ve been genuinely like mad; I reacted rly badly not because you don’t like Lois Lane but bc it was just a lot of things piling up and it was just sort of the straw that broke the camels back yk. Regardless of why though it was very mean and unfair and I should’ve tried to just take a step back and find a kind/productive way to say what I wanted to. It was just in that moment I wasn’t really thinking so I’m sorry.

At first I was just kinda annoyed that you brought up Lois Lane, bc it is a conversation we’ve had multiple times and it is one that I never particularly enjoyed bc it’s hard to explain what I mean/how I feel about her. Specifically though, when we talk it feels like you don’t listen or jump to a conclusion before just asking me to clarify, which bothers me more bc I know it’s something you’ve told me not to do. When we talk I often feel like you hold me to a standard that you don’t hold yourself (for example spelling things wrong but correcting my spelling), it comes off as if you do only talk to me for reassurance or an ‘ego boost’. It also just annoyed me that we were talking about this again bc like I’ve said before one of my biggest pet peeves is not being listened to. It feels like a lot of the time you want to avoid arguments (which I agree with, arguments suck) but it seems like you only ever consider that you could be in the right ab them when often times neither of us are. Specifically ab the avoiding topics thing, I have to work hard to avoid talking ab stuff that you don’t agree with but you regularly bring stuff up that you know we disagree on and then get annoyed whenever I try to express that I do disagree; Whenever I express an opinion that you don’t rightly agree with or just try to explain, you assume I’m arguing or mad or stupid and are often times rude but if I talked to you the way you talked to me I know you wouldn’t like it. I know I’m just a not very sensitive person in general, and maybe I do come off harsh, but it feels like I have to walk on eggshells half of the time just to have a normal conversation and I just ‘snapped’. I am genuinely really sorry, it was mean and unfair and I should’ve taken the time to explain what I meant before blowing up on you. I genuinely really enjoy talking to you most of the time though, literally like five seconds before Lois Lane was brought up I was thinking ab how much I enjoyed having normal conversations with you. It does seem though, that we might be too different and after everything i understand not wanting to talk to me again. If you ever need anything or just to vent or something though, don’t be afraid to reach out.

Goodbye, and I’m sorry

If I wanted an ego chamber, I would have never been friends with you in the first place. Look I’m sorry if I made you feel like you are not listened, I do enjoy your counter arguments even though I don’t necessarily agree with your points. I already forgiven about that day but I don’t feel like rekindling our friendship. You went to far and I feel like I do have to walk around eggshells as well. Like you get angry pretty easily when I don’t agree with your thing and you just snap alot, you just always expect a debate even though I don’t necessarily have the energy for it.

I do thank you for helping me out with my pjo fanfic even though you just not into it anymore, so you did help me go though with writting my fanfic. I do like the dc and marvel posts you kept sending.

If it makes you feel any better, I’m not into supporting RFK jr anymore and I do think all politicians suck ass now. To the point I’m not even going to vote.

I do kept forgetting of not talking certain topics that you just not into (Lois, Azula, Bruce, etc), so my bad. Forgive me for my shitty memory.

I’m at a bad place now, so I don’t think I have a patience to have these argument in the first place and I do think we should stoping talking to each other for both our sakes.

Honestly I just feel like you looking for a fight and it’s a bit hard for me tell you my complete thoughts because you do jump into conclusions a lot and don’t let me explain myself. I do try to understand your answers a lot even though my replies are a bit dryer.

Look I know there are some things I fucked up on, like me jumping into conclusions a lot and me being super blunt, which could tick you off or that I can be a bit repetitive on my opinions which tick you off. Yes I kept coming to you in reassurance because Im not that confident on my opinons being valid so my bad if you feel like I don’t listen to you enough or dare I say if my opinons are offensive.

Im just done having these arguments and I just believe that maybe it’s best to move on from each other.

Im sorry for things I messed up and I hope that my apology is good enough. Have fun getting a cottegecore life.

Good luck with your life.

[alwastakenofc]

hmmmmm so ! lesser-than-before rant incoming :)

i’ve been playing this game on my phone for the last 3ish weeks bc i’m tryna get $80 from getting to “grand sultan” level thru this app that gives me games to download and rewards me for playing them/hitting checkpoints and stuff idk it’s rly cool but that’s besides the point ! so i figured i would Bounce after the month is up bc like it’s just a gimmicky pay-to-win kind of game where if u don’t keep up daily u fall behind, BUT there’s also a Huge player base for the game (which makes it fun but also gives it that rly insanely competitive edge that makes it hard to miss days without feeling like ur behind). so one of the things i had to do was join a union/guild where i am partnered up with ppl like the guild leader and co-leader and elites and others members ya know? and we can do quests and stuff and it just gives u a good boost to everything which obviously helps u level faster ! so i was like “hmmmm maybe ill make one…” but then i noticed ppl talking in the all chat saying how they’re not new, this is their 3rd, 4th, 5th+ server that they’re hopping on bc they wanna start over again, etc etc so i was like “…. nah im not making my own union LOL” so i ended up joining this one that had free slots and rly didn’t like the guy leading it bc he was kinda rude… so i left, changed my name/avatar, and DM’d the leader of this guild i had my eye on in the first place but was full at the time! they now had 1 space free and i had to wait 24 hours to join bc i just left my last guild… so she said she’d save the spot and BAM, i got in! we talked in DMs abt how i left my last guild bc No One except the leader talked and when he did it was to Demand things from us like “Everyone better donate 200 diamonds or else.” and stuff!! lmao

SO. fast forward to now. it’s been about 3 weeks in the guild and MANNNNNN IVE MADE A FEW FRIENDS, THEYRE ALL SO NICEEEEE 🥺 me and a couple other guild members were up til Midnight last night just talking abt life and where we wanna travel and our jobs and education and Everything !! it was so wholesome and nice and so just idk. pure and innocent and Fun to just have casual conversations with ppl that were complete strangers 2 weeks ago, but who ive gotten closer to and now can have those nice long convos with !! and it was all just in the guild chat so anyone could read the next day lol but idc ! it was fun! plus my name on the game is selene which is Not my real name lol i just like the name a lot and it always makes me giggle when they say “lol, i know right selene??” and stuff and im like heh.. yea, das me 😎 idk the guild leader gave me the “life of the party” tag and said she loves my energy and it just feels so good bc i know i am just so cripplingly socially anxious irl and that’s why i can talk so easily online and love talking online so much more. like im still ME, but… not Fully being perceived to a point where i feel uncomfy or anything LOL . it’s been nice

i think imma keep playing after the month is up, i rly enjoy my guild and the ppl ive met thru it :’)

ANYWAYS!! i also think im gonna go to therapy/go to my family doctor to get reccs on therapists and maybe a psychiatrist? psychologist? idk i wanna get evaluated for… well let’s just save that for when i get evaluated bc if i don’t even have anything wrong with me and my dumbass rly gets laughed out of the office by the doctor saying “LUL no u rly just gotta try harder bruh” imma feel like a damn Fool LMAO. BUT yeah. that’ll hopefully be a thing i book this month.

also gonna be responsible and Not over spend on food when i get paid, like delivery and whatnot… but i Will be buying lifetime subscriptions to a couple japanese apps on my phone that i think will be easy access and help me learn japanese to a point of comfortability before i start college again. 😎

OKAY IM DONE WHEW. rant over :)

[adalanaisdying]

Rant

~

~

Tell me why whenever someone tells me they like me or whatever they immediately get so ugly to me and I start being repulsed by them

Like wtf is wrong with me ????

This is specifically men tho btw i haven’t experienced this w women but no I am not a lesbian so don’t start. Im pan.

But Fr like, im kinda talking to this guy I met on tinder and im now like super annoyed and slowly getting repulsed by him?? Which is interesting cuz usually it’s immediately but maybe it’s slower cuz I swiped right after initially finding him decently attractive ? Idk.

Idk it’s so complicated. Like I could psychoanalyze it and stuff but I literally just ??? Like idk. I don’t have the mental energy to try and figure out another behaviour of mine on my own in my head.

But overall I think it’s a mix of a few things—- the first being that I feel like none of the people around me are good enough for me or like, I’m just straight up not attracted to anyone in my life rn. And so it’s like when someone confesses feelings for me I’m like, sorry what?? U think you’re good enough to be with me??? And Ik that’s not a good trait but I legit dk how to stop it. But I also think like, it’s not the worst thing in the world for me? Cuz I have a rly RLY bad history of being with people who are so shitty and not good enough for me and etc etc and this is kinda like me realizing my own worth in a way?? I just wish I could be less gross and toxic about it. The second thing is that I feel like I need to be with someone very obviously hotter and better than my ex. Because I feel the need to prove my worth and that I’m not his anymore by doing exceptionally better than him. Which tbh is legit anyone given the fact that he a nearly middle aged pedophile broke coke addict. But still. Idk. I have this weird image/idea of him in my head I can’t kick because of shit. And ig that’s why I feel like no one is better than him ig. And also that I compare legit everyone and everything to him even though he’s a literal sack of shit. The third I think is that I just don’t want to be in a relationship rn maybe?? Like I’m happy by myself. Like yeah it would be really nice to have someone and sex and everything but I feel like I’m just in a spot rn where I just like, don’t want to focus on dating or even have the energy to do that. And I also really don’t want to meet someone online cuz god it’s so hard and such a confidence killer cuz everyone on there just wants one mf thing like 99% of the time and if they don’t I’m not attracted to them. But legit always the second I start focusing on myself a million ppl always find their way into my life and catch feelings etc and I’m just like … what???? Idfk man. But also I feel like I just don’t have the emotional capacity rn to have strong romantic feelings for someone? Like I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to genuinely like someone. So I guess I’m just super horny and rly want sex. But I’m also not gonna go have a one night stand or fuck someone random etc cuz I only have one body and it’s my pedo ex and it took me a YEAR of his shit to finally sleep with him so I’m like, yeah that’s not gonna work for me. To have sex I need to be in love with someone deadass. And with them long term. This is so fucking annoying. But also whatever it’s not rly that big of a deal I’m just super annoyed by it all.

[muzdiir]

im so angry mostly at myself

i made the mistake of going out w my mother 2 wks ago on a whim bc i wanted to get out of the house & i figured i was in a  good head space to deal with her bullshit. so i go out w her to the shoe store & the entire time, she’s stumbling around like a drunk, can’t finish any of her sentences/thoughts, slurring her words & just generally being obnoxious. i start thinking maybe she accidentally doubled up on her meds (it’s happened before) & that’s why she’s so blitzed.

we leave & then go for a drive. the whole time, she keeps speaking absolute gibberish. again, just incomplete thoughts. numerous times she sounded like she was sleep talking. she at one point mentions that she’s been “seeing her brothers & sisters” randomly--she saw her sister (who is deceased) in the kitchen & then had a full conversation with her??? & i’m like, uhh pls tell ur doctor this!

& then finally she tells me she had an edible before we left, and honestly this explains SO MUCH. like, of course this is how she reacts high. she’s complained to me before about how her dr wont prescribe her medical marijuana, supposedly bc the hospital he’s associated w is too christian for that. except the hospital is leading research in the state about the benefits of med pot over opiates so that seems fake lmao. prob more likely the dr knows what meds mom is taking & is like “u kno, those mixed is prob not a great idea lol”

ANYWAY the point is that my mom rly pissed me off. she knows i don’t like being around ppl who are high/drunk, & yet she did it anyway! afterwards, she starts in on her “i apologize” bullshit & asks me if i’m mad & before i can even respond, she hits me w “pls dont be mad” like THE FUCK DO U WANT ME TO SAY

i havent rly spoken to her since & ive made the choice to never go out with her again BUT BOY HOWDY does she know just how to corner me. i just got home from an appt & before i slink away, she comes up & asks, in her most “well, maybe, if you’re feeling like it” 👉👈 😳 way, if i can take her out to the store some time next week

& im not ready to respond to this, which she knows, which is why she asked me then. all i can say is “i’ll think about it” & I’M SO FCKN ANGRY AT MYSELF BC I JUST WANT TO SAY NO BUT HERE I AM, STILL GIVING HER WISHYWASHY ANSWERS BC I CAN’T SAY NO TO HER. im angry that she puts me in these positions & angry bc its so hard to stick to my guns

im so fckn tired & angry

[phagodyke]

bonus list of things that help me motivate to exercise!!

-sticking to a consistent workout timeslot – this way I don’t have to worry abt when to fit it into the day. this is tailored to me, 4-6pm is when I have the most energy + im normally done with any other tasks, I also like exercising just before a main meal bc I get hungry after (and I can’t exercise for 2-3 hours after eating a meal bc I get cramps…). im unemployed atm tho so thisll probably change once I get a job lol

-keeping it flexible – consistency is more important than intensity but theres no point in having a rigid routine if the whole thing blows up bc I missed a single day. working out ‘intuitively’ works best for me for this reason – I don’t feel bad taking the day off when I need it bc I can pick up my routine again whenever I’m ready to

-working out in a way I enjoy and that works for my body – sounds obvious but its rly hard to motivate urself to do any kind of exercise that doesnt feel good for u specifically. I suck at running for example bc I don't find it mentally stimulating enough to stop myself getting distracted and I find it REALLY uncomfortable so I can’t stick with it. taking no commitment classes/taster sessions is a good way of figuring out what you like, depends on where u live etc but I've found tons of friendly local queer sports spaces which rly encouraged me. lots of youtube videos out there too!

-similarly I wear gym clothes I like + feel comfortable in, make sure I eat well earlier in the day and after (fuel up!!) + don’t work out if I haven’t slept well enough the night before. nothing puts me off a routine faster than feeling like I have to suffer for it – negative reinforcement neverrr works. also I find eating regularly/getting enough sleep gets easier for me the more consistent I am with my workout routine so it encourages me to keep at it 💪

-figure out where the friction is and reduce it – for me, going to a gym daily isn’t realistic bc there are too many steps between deciding I want to exercise + doing it (packing a bag, leaving the house, travelling there, checking in, changing, if its busy then waiting for equipment…etc) which is why I work out at home 80% of the time cuz all I have to do is get changed + roll out my yoga mat. the easier it is to start, the easier it is to commit to a routine + resist the urge to give up.

-having an ‘on-ramp’, i.e., a small movement in the right direction to get me to actually Start a task. some days working out feels too daunting or I can’t be bothered but I’ll just go fill up my water bottle. and then I’ll get back to my room and I might as well put my gym shorts on. and then since I’m in the right clothes I can at least do a couple minutes of warmup stretches… etc like just thinking abt it one step at a time.

-rewarding myself – my little treat after every single workout is getting my protein milkshake + a shower + flexing in the mirror when I’m done. some days most of my motivation comes from that alone.. tricking ur brain to associate exercise w a reward + praise rly rly helps especially if ur like me and don’t rly get an endorphin ‘high’ from working out (<- adhd thing I think). never EVER skip the little treat even if u feel like u didn’t work out very hard or spent less time or whatever!! very important. maybe this should’ve been higher up in the list

-keeping myself mentally engaged – adhd makes focusing a bitch. listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks is ESSENTIAL for me to not get distracted. the time I think most abt quitting a workout is inbetween sets so sometimes if its dire I’ll give myself extra tasks e.g., sometimes I leave unsorted laundry on my bed and race to fold as many tshirts as I can in the 20 seconds before I start the next set, or leave a book open so I can read a quick sentence or 2. during isometric holds (like wall sits, planks) I like to do mental math or try to recite song lyrics or poetry bc I haaaate keeping so still and if I think about that too much I’ll give up !! be creative w it

-being held accountable – I sometimes do sports socially, but when I do home workouts it helps to tell a friend or mention on tumblr that im gonna go exercise cuz then I feel like I’ve already committed to it + I have to keep my word! it also helps me to have a couple "role models" in mind when im flagging a bit, either athletes in sports I like or just ppl I admire a lot, or even physically strong/capable fictional characters (cringe ik but it works so) – just anyone who inspires u!!

that’s all I can think of rnnnn so I’m gonna leave it there thank u for sending me an ask I love talking abt working out + hope u got smth out of my monologue :-D anyway its leg day today so I gotta go do that I leave u with some recent arm pics i liked... muah <3

sorry if this is odd to ask but what is your workout routine? I’m trying to motivate myself into exercise again and seeing how other people do it helps. Have a good one!

meant to reply to this sooner but I forgor… getting round 2 it now tho! disclaimer I dunno as much abt exercise science as I’d like to + don’t rly have any 'training' so my approach just comes from personal experience - take this w a pinch of salt lol. I’ll split it in 2 parts: my routine first + then a list of things that personally motivate me in a reblog in case u find any of that useful >:-) (under the readmore cuz this ended up being kind of long 👇)

ok so: I try to ‘actively’ work out 5 days a week. this tends to be broken into 1-2 longer full-body sessions (around 60-120 mins long, at the mo usually bouldering/parkour or a full-body home workout) with a rest day before/after + then 3-4 shorter home workouts (30-60 mins long, usually some form of weight/resistance training, targeting specific muscle groups). e.g. a fortnightly workout timetable might look smth like this for me:

I don’t tend to plan specific workouts more than a few days in advance so I don’t actually follow an explicit timetable like this. instead I set aside an ‘exercise timeslot’ every day (usually 4-6pm) and I’ll intuitively decide how to work out on the day – i.e., what part of my body feels ready to go? what part feels tired + needs a break? do I have the energy/focus to do 45 mins or do I need to shorten it to 30? do i need a rest day? working out regularly means I have a good sense of how long I need for certain muscles to recover so if there’s an activity I want to do on a specific day (like a sports club I wanna attend) I’ll keep it in mind and plan accordingly so I’m fresh for that. as a rule of thumb, I avoid working the same muscle group on consecutive days + give myself a full rest day before & after any intensive full-body workout. I also try to never take more than 3 back-to-back rest days unless I’m sick/on my period/life gets in the way – otherwise its very easy for me to fall out of routine even if I’ve maintained it for months beforehand (<- adhd ass)

(also worth noting – my ‘rest days’ aren’t completely ‘inactive’ – I’ll go for a walk or do some stretches/yoga or another gentle activity instead. I need a lot of physical movement in my life or I go stir crazy <- adhd ass strikes again)

my ‘home workouts’ are the sort of movements u can do at a gym with the equipment there, but I replicate them with a yoga mat + my own weights + a sturdy chair. I have 6kg & 10kg pairs of dumbbells, plus yoga blocks + resistance bands for extra challenge. most of my workouts are based on resistance/interval training, which is focused on increasing strength by repeating sets of movements/holds at a consistent intensity/pace for specific lengths of time, with short timed rest periods in-between (e.g., a typical workout might look like 45 mins of 45 movements targeting 1-2 muscle groups, each done for 40 seconds followed by a 20 second break before immediately moving onto the next).  I like it bc I can rly feel the progress I make + find it satisfyingly challenging (<-masochist) but also bc its easy to tailor to my own ability/how much energy I have that day etc by changing weights/pace. it also works with my adhd brain bc I only have to do each movement for 40-50 seconds at a time before moving on to smth else so I don’t get as easily distracted (as opposed to doing like xyz number of reps for xyz sets). if you’re interested, I swear by caroline girvan – I’ve done her EPIC programmes a few times now + often cherrypick from her videos when I want to work certain muscle groups without sitting down + compiling a list of individual exercises + setting a timer myself. the ‘EPIC beginner’ series is a great intro to her longer ones, I sometimes use that to ease myself back into working out if I haven’t for a while, but be warned it isn’t aimed at ppl who are completely new to that style of exercise. I think she has an app now that comes with an ‘absolute beginner’ version + a 14 day free trial(?) so might be worth checking that out. I will admit some of her stuff is TOUGH - I still can't do all of them w the same weights/pace she does... I particularly struggled with wrist strength when I started out too and had to do some separate conditioning/strengthening exercises before I could even work up to doing like. a single push up on my knees... so if u do check her out try not to get put off by how crazy strong she is bc thats literally her career skfjkj the important thing is just doing it to the best of ur own ability/to ur point of hypertension + keeping good form throughout!!

full body home workouts are pretty much more of the same just longer since I'm hitting more muscles (i.e. 60-90 mins) + sometimes with cardio elements (altho I can’t do HIIT workouts involving jumping at home bc I’m a respectful upstairs neighbour 😔). If I go to the bouldering gym (I try to go fortnightly atm) I’ll usually spend ~2 hours, focusing on trying to send one route at a time until my arms give out. im currently getting confident with V2 grades and tentatively working on V3s. its probs my fave sport, there's a level of problem solving to it that I find rly mentally stimulating... even tho I boulder solo, trips to the gym are social for me bc I often end up chatting to ppl working on nearby problems + picking up technique/advice from them, its a v welcoming space (I'm also planning on joining my new city's queer climbing group!). the parkour sessions I go to are also social, they're run locally for free around the city + structured by more experienced members in the community. they usually involve a warmup, conditioning, drills focusing on certain movements/jumps etc, and then free 'play' trying to put those moves into context. again ~2 hours long. im def not a pro at climbing or parkour but theyre super fun + would 100% rec if ur interested + can find a friendly local group for either, u can teach urself using online resources too :-)

goes without saying but I also warm up for at least 5 mins before doing ANYTHING!!! I try to cater it to the muscle group im planning on working with but still cover the whole body cuz its important to get ur heart rate up + even when u focus on one muscle group there will be others that get dragged in. I don't rly have a 'set' warmup but again caroline girvan has some good ones on her channel 👍 likewise always good to cool down after with stretches cuz future me will be grateful for it.. altho sometimes I'm a bit lazy abt it 🤭

okkkk i think that’s pretty much the bulk of it, I’ll stick my motivation tips in the reblog 😁