#and it worked he was well looked after there and probably wouldn't have survived otherwise

[canisalbus]

Machete has parents?? I'm not familiar with their actual lore, so I've been imagining Machete as a desolate victorian orphan boy

Everyone has parents, he didn't materialize out of thin air (or evolve from a crumpled napkin).

But he lost contact with them early on and doesn't remember much of anything about them. Machete was a sickly kid and his family was going through a rough patch at the time, they were constantly struggling to find the time and funds to care for him. Child mortality was high and it was starting to look increasingly likely that he wouldn't make it. He was around three or four when they left him at the closest monastery that accepted foundlings and he hasn't heard of them since.

[mccromy]

TGCF/SVSSS crossover in which Jun Wu transmigrates into the former CQM sect leader (let's pretend they look alike too) who died by botching a Heavenly Calamity and now Jun Wu wakes up in his body in the aftermath.

He realizes this world is very different from his own and then while he tries to figure out what actually happened, takes over sect leader duties. Which is very easy with his experience as Heavenly Emperor. Also, this sect has a peak filled with Ling Wens! :D (An Ding Peak) easy peasy.

He assists the disciple trials and takes notice of a malnourished boy, just at the age limit for starting cultivation, working diligently with the barest hint of desperation under an otherwise determined face. He invites him to Qiong Ding Peak, and while they perform the acceptance ceremony he asks his favorite question (2 men 1 cup.... lost in the desert)

And the boy instead of answering asks:

"Who are these men?"

Jun Wu hums.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

Jun Wu stares at him but the boy doesn't squirm or look away. The desperation suddenly stark.

"Would their identity change your answer?" The boy nods. "Very well, let's say you don't know either of them. You can't tell if they're rich or poor, neither is ugly, neither is handsome. You stand in front of them holding a cup filled with fresh water and the knowledge that if they don't drink from your cup they'll die. How would you fix this problem?" He smiles placidly as the boy thinks.

He doesn't think too long.

"I drink the cup."

Jun Wu is surprised, even the most selfish and entitled try to at least give the appearance of caring.

"Even if they died?"

"As long as I don't."

Jun Wu realized his mistake, this boy, dirty and thin as he was, was probably used to fighting for his food. Survival of the fittest and all that.

"Even if you knew one of them, what if they had a family? What would you do then?"

"I drink the cup."

"I see... Is there any scenario in which you don't drink the cup?" Jun Wu is amused enough he starts preparing the tea himself. He's already decided he'd take the boy in. He could do with someone unapologetically ruthless.

"If my brother is with me, I'd give him the cup."

Suddenly, Jun Wu doesn't like the boy anymore.

"I see. If one of the men in the desert is your brother, you'll give the cup to him, even if you die." Typical. Idealistic boys, who think they'll still know themselves at their worst.

"Yes, but I meant, if it's my brother, me, and two men in the desert, the cup goes to my brother."

"Hm."

He lets the tea steep, he's angry. He realized he might kill this boy if they keep talking. As he's about to dismiss him, acceptance ceremony be damned, the boy speaks again.

"And if there were a cup for each of us, then all would go to my brother."

Jun Wu stills. Then places a cup in front of the boy, pours tea, sits back.

"And why is that? only one cup would be enough to survive."

"To survive, yes, but he might still be thirsty after. Maybe he'd want to wash off some sweat, he's very fussy."

Ah, like Shi Wudu then. Jun Wu might have an useful piece in his hands after all.

The wicked always think that as long as they're acting on behalf of the truly virtuous, every action is justified and therefore merit no punishment. Everything goes, if it's to let the innocent remain ignorant.

It might've been fun had he not met this type before.

"Is he older or younger?"

"Younger."

"I see. And, if your brother wouldn't die from thirst, and you had five cups in your hand."

"Four would go to him, and one for me."

A bit more selfless than Shi Wudu. Which makes him a bit more boring. This boy probably wouldn't even try to strangle his brother before he was killed.

"And let the other two die?" The boy nods again, though now there's something his mannerisms are coated in embarrassment.

Well, since he already went down memory lane, Jun Wu simply must ask: "And if the price was to let a kingdom burn for getting that brother a cup of water even if he wouldn't die without it. Or let a kingdom thrive, while your brother stays as he is. What would you do?"

"Is my brother thirsty?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll give him the cup."

"He would not die."

"He would be thirsty."

Disappointing, this new disciple of his, but the boy might just live.

"Is your brother so righteous and kind that his life is worth more than the lives of the people of this kingdom?"

"My brother's life is worth two cups of rice, and as of late, a gold coin."

Jun Wu paused in confusion. What a horrible thing to say. Stated as a fact, hard as a stone. Is his brother's life not worth other's? How can he be so certain of the needed currency to bargain his brother's soul.

"And would he be happy? All those lives lost just for temporary comfort?"

"He wouldn't be happy."

With strong morals yet not worth enough to buy more than a few meals. At some point worth only two meals? What sort of contradictory creature is this boy related to?

"He would hate you for it."

"No, he wouldn't be happy either way. But if I did give him the water, he would not be sad. Just upset."

"Upset at the deaths?"

"Upset at all the smoke."

Jun Wu bursts out laughing. He laughs and laughs so hard he starts crying. The boy remains still as a statue, confused, scared.

And Jun Wu laughs, laughs as he wipes tears, laughs as he pours himself a cup and drinks, tea spilling on his robes. The boy quickly copies him, studies him as if to decide whether he's a threat or not.

Jun Wu forces himself to stop, his smile uncontrollably pulling at his skin.

Oh what a nasty, selfish child must this mysterious brother be. And yet, this soft spoken boy would doom hundreds for his ephemeral comfort.

"Where is that brother of yours? Was he at the disciple selection trial?"

The boy looks away for the first time, shakes his head.

"No... He's in a bad place. I need to go get him, this is why I need to become a cultivator, so I can help him."

"How noble, he needs rescue, hm?"

"Yes."

Jun Wu smiles, eyes gleaming.

"Then you're in the right place to achieve the power to do so. Welcome, Disciple Yue, to Qiong Ding. From now on you will refer to me as Shizun, and you'll work hard to do our sect proud."

The boy perked up, shoulders sagging in relief.

"Yes, Shizun."

"I see great promise in you, Yue Qi, and a good heart."

"Thank you, Shizun."

"It would be nothing less than tragic to see it break. Because of that, when you're ready, I'll go with you to retrieve your brother, and we'll find a place for him in our sect."

The boy's face illuminated, eyes wet and hopeful. His lower lip trembled, but he did not cry. Yue Qi took a deep breath, and then let it go. He regarded Jun Wu as if he knew the true identity of the man he was facing, as if he had been given the most marvellous of blessings.

"Shizun will help me save Xiao Jiu?"

Jun Wu nodded with a serene smile as the seed of worship was planted in the soul of such an unlucky boy.

Worship would not do it, not anymore. Worship was conditional to what miracles he could perform, and Jun Wu was no longer a god.

Love though. Love could bring down empires, change fates. Worship could never compare to love. Being worshipped wasn't enough.

"This Shizun swears. We'll rescue Xiao Jiu, Yue Qi."

Not likely, but who knows what the future holds.

"It all depends on you, my disciple. I have put all my faith in your hands. I know you won't disappoint your brother, and you won't disappoint me."

Yue Qi bowed as tears finally started pouring down his sweet, dirty face.

"Thank you, Shizun. This disciple promises to exceed Shizun's expectations." His voice wobbled but his speech was clear. Jun Wu rested a reassuring hand on the poor child's shoulder.

"I'm certain. I have been waiting a long time for a disciple like you,"

Jun Wu made the mistake of trying to mould Xie Lian to his image, and it ended with that boy proving Jun Wu rotten and weak.

Jun Wu would not try the same with Yue Qi. That was not what he truly wanted, what he actually needed.

He needed a ruthless, devout, unlucky, little tragedy of a boy who would never, ever leave.

Someone who could love nasty, rotten, selfish, creatures who only get upset at the smell of the bodies at their feet.

[fivelila]

I was thinking about Five's look when Diego asked Lila if she loved Five. At first I thought that Five wanted to know the answer too. Then I realized, Five knows Lila. When she said she has children who need her and she needs them, he said "I know". When Lila said 'I hate you for this, Five said "I know". So I think Five already knows the answer, but he wanted to hear the words. I mean, has anyone in his whole life told Five that they love him?

Yeah, and she knew him because when he told her about the diary, he said she knew why he'd done it—that he'd kept it a secret that he'd found it.

This makes me think it's actually quite possible that they told each other about their feelings. I don't know if it would have been a straightforward "I love you", but it could have been.

I think if it was cut from a scene (even from the ones we know, for example), it wouldn't be a problem to do so. Initially, it might have been made more clearly stated in the dialogues (if there were 10 episodes), but later, they probably wanted to leave it more veiled and vague for the viewers' interpretation.

But even if it wasn't said, I believe they both knew. I mean, they hated each other in the beginning, and they kicked each other's asses a few times. The way they were gentle with each other later on couldn’t be interpreted (even by them) as anything other than love. Plus, Five even called her that, and I think if she wanted to keep things more neutral with him, she wouldn’t have let him use such a sweet term for her. But she fell for it just like he did.

So in the scene with Diego, maybe he didn’t want to hear her say she loved him for the first time… but maybe he wanted to hear it again to make sure her feelings lasted despite everything that happened. Especially after she told him it was just survival.

Even though Five is actually so romantic, I think he’s also the kind of person for whom “yes, I love you, and if that changes, I’ll tell you; otherwise, it’s still valid” might work just as well. He could have interpreted her saying “it’s over” as meaning that love was no longer valid for her.

There are so many possible interpretations.

By the way, I think there were very few such confessions in The Umbrella Academy. Honestly, I’m not even sure if there’s a scene where Diego tells Lila that he loves her.

[chocodile]

Hypothetically speaking, what would one of Hyden’s preceding siblings turned out to be like had they survived into adulthood? Doubly so if Hyden still came to be, courtesy of preemptive pessimism for child-viability, and they shared a household. I’d kill to know what sort of absurd dynamic he’d have with an Older Sister or what her appearance might be like in comparison (contrast ??) to his.

That's an interesting hypothetical!

*BELOW IS ALL NON-CANON SPECULATION*

I think many factors could influence this… the biggest ones would be "how good at magic is this hypothetical sibling" as well as "how physically and mentally fucked up is this hypothetical sibling." Going with the "older sister" route, I can see a couple different outcomes:

Older Sister who is much more sickly and/or unable to use magic at all: Hyden wouldn't be that different. He'd still grow up seeing himself as his family's only real heir. He would probably feel some resentment and anger to his sister for "wasting" his parents' time and energy despite being obviously unfit to inherit the family mantle. Otherwise, though, he'd basically act as if she didn't exist. Their mother Aurelia would immediately switch to caring about her magically-inclined son rather than her mundane daughter. The rejected Older Sister might find solace getting along with Arcturus III, their introverted and ineffectual father… which would only deepen Hyden's dislike for her.

Older Sister who is magically-inclined and not on death's door: This would get interesting. As a male heir, he would supersede her in terms of title inheritance--something she would be quite displeased by if she'd grown up planning her life around being heir apparent. So I could see a serious rivalry forming. I think that especially with Hyden's growth disorder making him get really tall at a really young age she'd see him as a noxious invasive cuckoo chick poised to rapidly overtake her life and replace her.

As Hyden has previously stated (?), "madness" runs in his family, though. There are… solutions… to an undesirable usurper poised to steal your title that are available to the morally flexible noble. And, well, he was always sickly, right? If poor, dear baby brother were to pass away in his sleep after something was slipped into his wine glass at dinner… who's to say it wasn't a death of natural causes? Maybe it would even be the kinder option. I mean, the family healer always said that he was unlikely to survive to adulthood…

Baby Hyden's longevity here would probably come down to whether or not he figured out what his sister was plotting and turned the tables on her before it was too late.

A related possible path: He goes against inheritance norms and bows out of the wizard family title battle entirely, giving up on his magic schooling and allowing Older Sister to claim the role of Viscountess. He gets an arranged political marriage to a woman from another noble family and goes into another line of work. Maybe being a political advisor or researcher of magical artifacts something.

As you can imagine, this would be not be voluntary. More of a "Mom and Older Sister have leverage against me that I cannot overcome and were planning to kill me to get me out of the way, so we reached an agreement." Hyden would not be happy feeling like he'd been discarded and cheated out of his birthright. He would probably spiral downward over the years, chronically unable to find fulfillment or satisfaction, which he would blame on the fact that he'd been denied the life he was obviously supposed to have.

There would, of course, be many whispers about why the male heir would give up his title, though. It would be a really bad look. They'd figure there must be something terribly wrong with him.

Long story short: They wouldn't have a good relationship. The Hyden family dynamic is doomed to be a mess no matter what because everyone involved is extremely spoiled, extremely inbred, and extremely desperate to grab whatever power they can. They'd scheme and murder each other until there was one left standing no matter what.

[danwhobrowses]

Okay so we are doing a very rare third post about the events of Critical Role campaign 3 episode 91 so avoid if you still haven't watched it because there will be spoilers again

Right. So I'm not gonna talk more about the Reincarnate vs Stay Dead debate with FCG, I still prefer Reincarnate for reasons I put in my last post but now I'm gonna talk about the other route, if FCG stays dead, what becomes of his remains?

It is almost ironic that a PC death happened a few episodes after Matt created the Ruidian custom of making weapons from a loved one's remains, something Ashton and Fearne were quite intrigued by, so I wonder if the Hells would do the same - in a way carrying a little bit of FCG with them to continue the fight. Outside of his loot it's hard to tell what the Hells can use, if it were me I'd have each of the Hells have a bracelet from his hair at the least, but the rest would probably need to be left in the hands of tinkerers to create things that may enhance the Hells' combat; maybe a conductive whip for Imogen to use for her more lightning-based magic for instance, I can also see Ashton fixing FCG's head onto their outfit or hammer and Chetney and Laudna maybe making little FCG dolls for each of them too.

Loot-wise I had to look at the wiki to remind myself of all the stuff FCG had on them, as well as see what Otohan had but outside of the backpack and swords it wasn't quite descriptive at this point, and even then there's no guarantee it'll all be undamaged from the blast, but there were some notable things that could end up in the Hells' hands to use. I feel like we're all in agreement that if FCG doesn't come back that Ashton keeps the Coin of the Changebringer, perhaps even have it affixed to their hammer so to feel like FCG is still fighting with them. The full extent of its magical properties were not shown outside of the Yes/No question and 1 bout of Lucky per day, but on Ashton's hammer the daily reroll might end up being helpful, though they are not a fan of the gods a little FCG-aided divine buffing could go a long way. Other than that, Ashton probably should claim the two Potions of Possibility FCG had, my earlier post mentioned my belief that Otohan's backpack should go to them because Dunamancy (I didn't however mention how echoes can work as temporary meat shields for Ashton to better negate enemy attacks that'd otherwise be aimed at the party) and the logic is the same here, Matt would probably have to try and balance Ashton's Dunamancy and Titan buffs so to not take all four potions (or more, think Fearne and Orym have one too right? *checks* oh and Laudna so that's 7 potions!) at once but those seem to be key loot Ashton should keep a hold of.

Outside of combat FCG would be helpful in using Identify when the Hells came across new objects. While Chetney has Grim Psychometry to do something similar, the Goggles of Object Reading that FCG used could be taken by Imogen - which in turn may provide Laura and the fandom a means to canonize glasses on the character - along with the Staff of Dark Odyssey that she has used before.

Fearne is another who could hold the Staff, but I find it unlikely. She would probably take the rod used to plane-shift to the Fey Realm, in a way being a key to home if she needs it. I can see her taking the Ivory Branch as well, albeit temporarily until a new healer presents themselves, due to the +1 Spell attack and +1d4 Healing. She might keep the Ruidian mood ring but I feel like that wouldn't survive the blast, same with the recipes FCG collected, though it'd be nice if someone were able to carry on his memory that way; Fearne, Ashton or Orym would be likely candidates for that.

Laudna would perhaps be able to use most of the scrap remains of FCG for her constructs, perhaps a little buffing for Pate is in order plus she doesn't use Sashimi often. Chetney only really works in wood so he probably won't take the remains, stuff such as his saws and propeller could be used to empower Laudna's own creations, maybe even the fake legs too.

One weapon I think will not end in Laudna's hands however is the Grapple cannon, which could suit either Orym or Chetney. Orym is the better candidate to use it though, given the 20 Dexterity compared to Chetney's 14, additionally there is the +1 Mithril Half-Plate Armor, which could be an improvement for either.

If Orym were to get both I could see it being a trade for Chetney not getting anything, in turn granting Chetney both of Otohan's swords to use - since Orym may want nothing to do with her equipment given her role in killing their family. Otherwise I can see Chetney maybe grabbing the saws ahead of Laudna, maybe the goggles but he does already have the monocle, and any utensils he can repurpose for crafting. There is also the possibility of him getting the Aeoran Scrambling Devices that we know little about, maybe adding a little 'this wouldn't happen if it were wooden' catharsis for Chet if he used them on machines.

The only other thing that is left from FCG are the bolt thrower and the All-Minds-Burn drugs. The latter could go to anyone but Ashton, Fearne and Imogen are more likely (she still needs to plant that seed), the bolt thrower could go to Laudna, she never used Bor'dor's slingshot with the Draconic Rune that Prism added to it, or to Chetney to fire a chisel. His coat he designed like FRIDA's would probably be kept for her to be given too. Outside of that the only other specific loot we currently know from Otohan is the Fake Treshi Ring for Scrying (not its official name), which won't be of use to the Hells since the next time they get close to a major enemy they will be fighting, but perhaps it could be placed in the hands of Liliana Temult, either to keep track of her or to plant on Ludinus so the Hells can track his movements instead.

[stormyoceans]

might be a weird question BUT if you had to put the couples/friend combos from we are into a different genre, what would they be and how do you think it would go?

it’s not weird at all, anon, this is actually such a fun and interesting question!!!!! which is why it took me some days to answer you, because i’ve probably thought about it way too much ;;;;;; i also wasn’t sure if you meant picking different genres for each pairings and friendship combinations, or for the ensamble cast in general, but in the end i went with the latter because otherwise this would have gotten way too long ;;;;;;;

ANYWAY. my first thought for this was some kind of mystery comedy!!!!!! something like only murders in the building, or scooby doo, or even ghostbusters, where the premise is ‘group of people not really qualified to do so looks into murders or paranormal activities’

i just can perfectly imagine peem, q, tan, chain, and pun establishing a paranormal investigation service and having the most bizarre encounters and chaotic adventures. toey and matt would be their very first real clients: they found a body somewhere and there were weird lights and noises all around and they can swear they saw some kind of creature not of this world floating above it but the cops didn’t believe them so they decided to go to peem’s friend group’s agency after seeing one of their ads on the internet. and guess who are the cops who are also investigating on the case and do not believe in the supernatural and are always clashing with peem and the others!!!!!!! why of course phum, fang, beer, and mick. well to be fair mick does believe in aliens, monsters, and ghosts, and beer is a ‘when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth’ kinda guy, so it’s mostly phum and fang costantly bickering with peem and tan and thinking their agency is a scam, at least at first. however things only get more complicated when phum and fang actually start believing them (and developing feelings [coughs]) because their father is like. a chief inspector or something and he wants to shut the agency down, which makes his relationship with phum even worse

the other genre that i think would fit we are really well and that would be incredibly interesting to explore due to the big cast and all the different relationships between the characters is survival thriller/horror!!!!!!! something like lost, or yellowjackets, or the wilds, where they end up stranded somewhere and have to find a way to survive and then weird shit starts to happen. im personally a sucker for this genre, for some reason i just love it a lot, and i think that when it comes to we are it would showcase all the dynamics really well. my only issue with this one is that i wouldn't want anyone to die, which does kinda take the edge off from it, so im having a bit of a hard time coming up with a plot that would work out

aaaand this already got incredibly long so last one im gonna mention just because im obsessed with it is PERIOD PIECE!!!!!!!!! i don't care if it's not gonna be historically accurate, just give me everyone dressed in suits and slow dancing and sexual tension so astronomical they could never make the characters meet indoors because having so much of that in such a confined space would kill everyone around them immediately!!!!!!!!!

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

We can be Heroes.

Right up there! I see them!

I'm on it!

*Parked in the hangar is a Future Foundation helicarrier, a big chopper used to store several items at once it it's lofty back. A few of the Foundation members, namely Hina, Hiro, Sakura, Taka, Chihiro and Miaya, jump into the back of this vehicle as per Byakuya's request, and Hiro hurries to the front and takes control.

Gonna be honest here Hiro...I had no idea you knew how to pilot one of these things.

Yeah, I learned shortly after the Final Killing Game, but my skills are a little rusty. Still, can you put up with me for at least a little until we get all these guys to safety?

It's ok. I trust you.

*Hiro steers the chopper to an upper level; where several injured or otherwise indisposed Future Foundation soldiers are stuck like sitting ducks on a higher platform; being careful to stay just out of the range of the licking flames beneath them. Taka and Sakura pry open the door, and eagerly start beckoning them all inside.

COME ON, LET'S GO! EVERYONE IN, HURRY!

HUP-TWO! HUP-TWO! HUP-TWO! COME ON!

*The soldiers make their way into the chopper and start to fill it up. Some saunter on slower than others, due to their injuries. Chihiro and Miaya immediately start providing them first-aid.

...Hm...

Woah!?

Wha-!?

Huh!?

*Taka meanwhile, looks down at the ground below, as familiar faces and allies look like they just pop into existence in a safe spot in the forest, far outside the factory.

Hm...Kamukura works fast...VERY fast...

All the better for us. We'll have to leave it to our allies to make sure the explosion is redirected. Then all will be over...hopefully.

I don't like that "hopefully" at the end there.

I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm also being realistic. Our chances of surviving this are slim.

Hold on...Captain, is that you!?

FF Captain: M-Ms Asahina!

You know them?

Yeah, these guys are Branch 13. They're my squadron...At least they were...

FF Captain: You're technically still Branch 13's head, so I still need to report to you.

Alright then. What's the status, Captain?

FF Captain: Thankfully, we managed to clear this whole floor on the way out. No outright casualties, but not everyone is accounted for. One soldier is missing, presumed dead.

Alright. Good work. That's a shame though...

Everyone, hold on to something! We're getting out of here!

*Hiro starts to move the chopper.

We should probably go and pick up Uchui. We don't wanna leave him like a sitting duck while the ground beneath him explodes.

Right. Hiro! Let's get a move on!

Got it!

*Hiro starts to close the door to the carrier, but before he can, he's halted.

W-Wait! Stop!

Huh!?

Do any of you...hear that...? Well, no, I suppose you wouldn't...

Hear what?

*Miaya pulls up a scanner on her monitor, and repeats some audio that reaches her.

???: H-Help...S-Somebody...help...

Who...is that...?

FF Captain: Sir! Remember what I was just saying about how we had one soldier unaccounted for! I'm pretty certain that's them!

Really!?

[abri-chan]

Knowing his main profession, I wonder how he truly feels about love and sex. Did he ever fall in love? Did he ever have unpaid sex?... Does he even enjoy sex? [2/2]

Well, the downside of sex work is the prolonged objectification the worker receives which messes up with their psyche but also the way they view love, sexuality, or intimacy. It doesn't seem like Worick is much interested in a relationship, because that would interfere with his job. I also feel Nic probably doesn't seem particularly interested in a relationship, for his own reasons of being depressed and thinking twilights have no hope, and the kind of life they lead. I feel Gangsta is more realistic of a world in that, people are not out there looking for love per se, as they are more concerned with survival, but if it happens it can happen. Probably how Veronica happened to Nic. (Alex is another ex prostitute which I feel cannot be said to have a clear sexuality. In that, she's so traumatized by the rape and abuse she endured, I don't think she has had time to process what her wants or desires are, and more importantly she has bigger issues to worry about, like day to day survival so she can eventually look for per brother. I wouldn't say Alex is asexual by default; it's just sexuality or romance is not part of her immediate concern or her character. Again, just because someone doesn't see love or romance in their life, it doesn't mean they're aroace.)

Did he ever fall in love? I don't know. Maybe he did for Veronica. Maybe he never did. It's 50/50 at this stage. We know he has an attraction to women, but that's as much as we see.

Did he have unpaid sex? Again idk. I think he may have sex to get information, but that's one kind of payment I suppose. We also know he drinks a lot if he drinks, so I don't know if he had one night stands. It doesn't strike me as such, only because he wants to protect his "capital" if you will, that he makes the money with, but also both him and Nic don't seem extremely promiscuous. Yes Worick is a sex worker, but that doesn't mean he's more sexually active than other people. Sex work can hypersexualize people, and I think him starting young shaped his sexuality in a way, but just because he fucks for a living does not mean he wants to fuck outside of a relationship or is fine with casual. We just don't know. (Maybe he didn't prostitute right away, as in maybe some older woman did sleep with him, and then he got the idea he may use his looks like that... After all, Georgiana found him way later in the streets when he was already prostituting.)

Does he enjoy sex? Yes, I think so. Otherwise he would not be doing it. Not that is not to say, he enjoys sex with his clients. He has to perform and that is draining, and I don't mean just the physical aspect, the emotional and mental one too. So hard to enjoy it when you're giving a performance like some kind of actor. His clients are using him, and he can't say no, because he needs the money. But, at the same time, we see a difference with Alex, in that Alex never wanted to go back to that kind of life. In the manga, and the various one shots Kohske has written to fill in the backstories, Worick has had countless options to leave sex work: way before he worked for Daniel, this woman architect offers to make him her apprentice. And he could have continued to be a bodyguard for Daniel... I'm sure fans can think of many options. But the man just doesn't want to do it.

I do feel someone like Worick probably has trouble with intimacy tho. In that, he probably knows to either hide his feelings because he's so used at putting a front, or can only show "affection" using sex. But that is not all that love is, and we see him fail to connect emotionally with people: how many years has he known Nic and still isn't sure if Nic sees him as a friend. Or the way he decided what was best for Alex not realizing what she truly wanted: Worick was so focused on getting her out of the city. He may have capacity to love, but will it be realized by the end of the manga? Probably not, unless it already happened in the past. Beretta is another character who's similarly sexual, and would struggle with the intimacy part of love because she's used to showing affection only through killing or sex acts.

I'm sure Worick is cynical about both sex and love if you ask him, but what a person says or thinks is not how he feels. He can philosophize all he wants and still fall for something so cliche that makes him feel like a hypocrite.

[inf1nyxw0rlds]

pspspspsps 4 the infinite asks: 3, 18 n 26 :eyes:

oooo ALRIGHT here goes !!

3. what's your favourite part of his design? why?

honestly a fucking difficult question but i'm reaping what i've sown. it's very close between mask and hair – the mask is so iconic in it's shape, i love the asymmetry and the attention to detail in that the right side is blacked out, likely because he doesn't need to see. it's crisp, it's edgy, it's a moment and a vibe and i love it. sure, if you wanna draw it at funky angles it could be a nuisance, but because it's shapes are so distinct u CAN break it down. and use references baby!

his hair i love because i'm just a sucker for guys – or, in his case, guy who is not a Man but is a boy in a dog way – with long hair. let them have it. please. it suits him so well and you can style it in a lot of different ways even besides the iconic locs !!

18. how do you feel about shadow killing squad jackal? do you headcanon otherwise?

okay this topic is one that i've seen a LOT of differing views on, and i definitely understand the divide on it because shadow's character in general is one that can never really be agreed upon among fans. my own take isn't one i've shared here yet so here it is – i think it depends on circumstance.

i can see it going either way depending on how things actually went down. rather than just asking why would shadow kill squad jackal, i like to ask why wouldn't he? both questions make you think about it from a different angle, i think. i can see him not caring either way; they're willing allies of eggman, but they're not a big deal. they're insignificant, whether that means their lives are unimportant, or not worth the energy to take. i don't think he would do it with outright malicious intent, though he is still an asshole.

i veer more toward he wouldn't, because he doesn't really give a shit and it isn't worth the energy. knocking them unconscious suffices just fine and they don't seem to be as dangerous as villains he's faced in the past. at the same time, i understand how his indifference could go the other way. he's also impulsive, and trained to take out anything in his way – it could be instinctual. my opinion of shadow is that he's neither killing enthusiastic or opposed. he deals with things case by case. he's not a monster, but not against doing what has to be done.

these are incidents from different sources, so take it with a grain of salt, but he extended an offer to metal sonic in archie to turn over a new leaf, though in cases like eggman and tinker, eggman shows much less, if any, promise of potential change, and that's where the line gets drawn.

shadow doesn't know anything about squad jackal and why they're allied with him, but on the basis of just working with eggman, would that be enough? i don't think so personally but, that's just me. again, i see it being more instinctual, a means of completing his mission, if he did. tunnel vision sort of deal, you know?

what happens in my fic, however, is complicated. that's all i'll say on the matter :)

26. what does his self-care look like?

it doesn't. okay jokes aside, i think he's always had a rough time looking after himself, between mental illness and being on the road for years fighting for his survival. he cares about his appearance a lot, but at the same time, it's hard for him to manage it and this really applies after losing his team.

he likes baths over showers, though, and if he had the option he would probably like one with candles, just allowing himself to lay there for a bit. he cares a lot about his hair and it has high priority. comfy clothes on a bad day, music appropriate to his energy levels, cookies and a blanket. he tends to take space and just withdraw to reenergise if he can. i also headcanon him letting his emotions out through art, writing, and being very elaborate and often brutal BUT that's post-war

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Bachelor/Clavell/Wan (?)

One day, early in the evening. We're with the Bachelors, well, what's left of the family. To everyone's regret, the family is no longer complete. The parents of the two children died in the disaster. Now Xander is looking after them. He has also lost his parents and so they have joined forces in order to survive.

"uh, oh man, I'm so hungry"/ "Uncle Xander will hopefully be back soon"/ "yes, hopefully ".

While waiting for dinner at home, Michael and Xander are on the lookout for all kinds of edible things to bring home. "Man, sometimes I get the feeling that the others have already snapped up all the stuff"/ "by no means everything, check the garbage can to see if you can find anything useful there"…. Of course it's an unpleasant thing to rummage around in a garbage can for useful things, but what don't you do to improve your standard of living a bit?

A few minutes later. "Why didn't you tell me straight away that something edible was growing behind the house?"/ "I'm sorry. Look, The lettuce has grown so beautifully. I believe that the spirit of Mama lives in every single plant. She gives us food and looks after us"/ "Yes, that's how it will be… And again, it's just a salad today… Oh, what I would give for a delicious sausage"

A little later. "Did you get anything?"/ "Heads of lettuce, lots of them". Pauline wrinkled her nose and threw her head back in annoyance. "oh man, I'm getting sick of all this green stuff"/ "well, maybe something can be done, I saw the boss bringing a few boxes to the back of the warehouse today, it looked like canned food"/ "W-what?". Her eyes widened.

"Yeah, I don't know where he got the stuff, but I'll find out"/ "yes, please, if they withhold anything from us, I'll get really angry. I'll make us something to eat now… Wow, salad… at least there are still a few onions and tomatoes growing in the garden". Pauline stood annoyed at the kitchen counter and prepared the food.

"Are you otherwise well?"/ "Sure, since i'm with you, hn". Pauline is leading a double life at the moment. And that's why she's not always honest. She not only shares a bed with Xander, but also with Hank, with whom the relationship is nevertheless difficult. The official story is that they have broken up. But Pauline has a mind of her own. "Hank and I … That probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run and besides, I really wanted to know who the guy was that he was always talking about when he came home from work …"/ "You've got a thing for bad boys?"/ "hnhn, not really, but you're … Just different, and I like that.".

Bella comes back into the house. "Where have you been?"/ "I just had to pee"/ "Let me know next time, okay? I don't want you to be out alone in the dark"/ "but I don't want anyone watching"/ "nobody's done that before, we've always stood in front of the fence"/ "but you can hear the peeing noise"/ "Oh nonsense, come on, Pauline's made salad"

"Salad… Always just salad. Can't we bake a cake again?"/ "We need eggs for that, and they're a bit scarce at the moment because we don't have enough chickens"/ "Then you'll have to get a rooster to make the chicks"/ "Oh, you know that?"/ "Of course, that's what… Mom told me".

Michael had to smile a little. "Yes, Mom knew a lot…". It's often a difficult situation for Xander when the children talk about their parents. Because it's not just them who have lost their parents, he has too. Until now, there has never been a proper funeral or memorial service for the deceased. Everyone had to deal with the new situation from one day to the next. But some of the residents want to take care of the cemetery soon.

"And please take care of this 'matter' tomorrow, okay? I really want to know what's going on…"/ "Don't worry, I'll find out what the Altos are up to. "/ "They lead a much better life than some of the others here. They have running water, electricity. They should finally support us. I bet they have some kind of contact with the outside world"/ "mhm, for sure".

Since Pauline has been living in the house, the atmosphere here has changed. So far, they've managed quite well without another roommate. And of course Michael also understands that you need someone to talk to… But at the moment it's probably just about exchanging bodily fluids. No one will ever be able to properly replace the parents of the two children. But they are being looked after.

The kids go to bed. "hey, this is actually my bed"/ "but it's much cooler than mine, you built it all by yourself, mine is old"/ "but it's still in good shape…fine, then I'll be the princess tonight"/ "thihi… Which book did you get from the shelf?"/ "You'll notice in a minute".

While Michael reads his sister a bedtime story, the adults next door are busy with other things. "Have you taken the pill?"/ "That's the last pack I could get, after that we should be really careful"/ "Why, don't you want children?"/ "Under the current circumstances? No…".

While Michael reads his sister a bedtime story, the adults next door are busy with other things. "Have you taken the pill?"/ "That's the last pack I could get, after that we should be really careful"/ "Why, don't you want children?"/ "Under the current circumstances? No…".

"well, if need be, I can pull 'him' out early"/ "chuckle, but that doesn't always help"/ "I'd say we just take our chances… I'll take care of it, bunny".

Less than 20 minutes later. "Sleep well, sis… At some point… Hopefully everything will be a bit more normal again. My friends are all madly in love… great, and I'll probably stay a virgin until I'm 30…". It's not easy for Michael to put up with the other couples' affections. Everyone here has their own individual needs.

End of this part

--------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover 😊 , Thanks for tagging me, by the way. Unfortunately, I find it infinitely difficult to pick out a sim and write facts about it. I like them all very much.^^ But if I do come up with something about someone at some point, I'll let you and others know😊

Note: I know some parts are quite long and contain a lot of text, but they can't be split up any other way and I like to write a lot 😉

[canisalbus]

It's probably fair to say that, as a child, Machete's goal was to just survive. Even as a young adult, survival obviously remained a principle goal.

But slowly, over time, he gained power, and is now a cardinal. He no longer struggles to fend off death (weakened constitution notwithstanding.) He probably still sees himself as trying to survive day-to-day, but clearly it becomes more than that, even if he's not fully cognizant of it.

I guess what I'm wondering is, besides "survival", what are Machete's goals? As a cardinal or otherwise. What prevents him from leaving or resigning his post? Does he have aspirations other than Vasco? Does he see himself as subservient to God, or is it something else?

I'd say his aspirations are pretty mundane. Security and stability are probably the biggest priorities overall, financially and health-wise. He doesn't thrive in unreliable and unpredictable surroundings. The fact that he knows he will have his basic needs met for the foreseeable future, there are people ready to prepare him a warm bath at a moment's notice, a reputable doctor to look after him, and armed guards that are never too far away, eases his mind considerably. A large part of his work revolves around routine, carefully crafted plans and immutable etiquette, with relatively few unpleasant surprises. He's so high in the hierarchy that very few people can treat him disrespectfully and get away with it.

He wants to prove that he's capable, competent and useful. His deeply rooted inferiority complex (that largely stems from the demeaning and belittling way his mentor treated him when he was his apprentice) has made him a lifelong overachiever, which in turn has served him well in his career. He's ambitious and driven but I wouldn't call him power-hungry in an egoistical way, he can come across as overbearing but it's because he's a perfectionist control freak who's obsessed with doing his job well and has a tendency to think most people around him aren't up to the task. He isn't in it for fame and wealth in itself, it's more about having a purpose that makes you worthy of respect.

On a more personal level he's passionate about reading, studying and learning. Partly because he's inquisitive and genuinely enjoys it, knows he's good at it and feels good about being good at it, but also because he wants to be the most learned, most cultured and most academic person in the room. Not necessarily for bragging rights, but to feel like being smart will always keep him one step ahead of the others and that way no one can pull the rug from under his feet.

He would never be able to afford the things he wears and the luxuries he has access to if his life hadn't taken the exact turns it did. He spent his early childhood in a monastery and was trained by a priest who valued asceticism and self-denial so he didn't have a lot of nice things growing up. Now as a high ranking church official he has more spending money than he could've imagined, and while he has an expensive taste, he oftentimes fails to enjoy the benefits of his status properly. He has a comfortable home with a massive bed, but it's not uncommon for him to sleep in his office or forgo rest completely. Even though he could be savoring the rarest most complex dishes every day, there aren't a lot of foods he likes eating. He would like to look pretty but even his outlandishly costly and carefully tailored silk garments can't redeem the fact he doesn't feel comfortable in his skin.

He can't resign because his sense of self-worth and lifestyle are tied to his job. It's the one thing he's demonstrably skilled at. He's worked himself to the bone to get where he is now and the prospect of losing it is simply unfathomable. He doesn't have ties to his biological family and his friends are few and far between, if he gave up his position he'd have functionally no one to rely on but Vasco. On top of that he does feel like he owes his life to the church and serving it to his best ability is his lot in life. His state of faith and relationship with God is complicated at best but he's nonetheless terrified of what might happen and how he might be punished if he ever chose to abandon his post.

[izzy-b-hands]

"He never goes hiking alone again," Stede says. "That's thing one that we'll need to address."

"He didn't 'go hiking'," Izzy scoffs. "He ran out of gas and went walking to get more, and probably wound up going the wrong way."

"That's a kind of hiking, because this is a mountain!"

"That's...it can't work like that!"

Their Lyft driver seems all too glad to drop them off at the base of the trail. Ed's car is parked incredibly shittily (presumably because of the running out of gas, otherwise he'd better have some other excuse), but Ed himself is nowhere to be seen.

"Where does it show his phone?" Stede reaches for Izzy's phone.

"It shows as close as it can to the nearest tower, aka this mountain, the same as it did on the way here," Izzy leans back, phone in his outstretched hand. "And you don't need my phone to know that!"

"Just let me look!"

Why is the tire iron on the ground?"

Stede turns back to Ed's car. "Huh. Odd, right? The tires look fine."

"We should get going and find him. The text that he was out of gas and finding a place to stop was hours ago-"

Stede walks away from him and picks up the iron. "There's blood on this."

--

"How long has it been since you've done this?"

Of course Bonnet doesn't know. They share Ed, sure, and fuck each other, but it doesn't go beyond that, and this is why. He doesn't fucking listen.

"Last weekend," Izzy sighs. "Jim and I tried a new trail. Remember? They sent an email out with pictures to everyone?"

"Because I love a good nature walk, but this seems like it might be more intense," Stede continues. "We'll weather it together though."

"As if there's any other choice."

"What was that?"

"I said," Izzy panics. "Don't raise your voice. Um. Cougars."

"Are there any here?"

"Why would I know?"

"Why wouldn't you?!"

Izzy fights the urge to throw himself or Stede off the mountain. Besides, at such a low height, the fall would barely maim them, let alone kill them.

"Jim and I stick to trails with posted signage, so we know from that what to look out for."

"No research beforehand? That's a dangerous game, Izzy."

Again, he thinks of the brush smashing into his face, if he would simply fall over and start rolling sideways now.

"We don't have to talk," Izzy sighs.

"No, I suppose we don't. Just... it's a nice distraction."

It is. Ed is probably fine, but finding a tire iron with blood on it isn't the most encouraging sign either.

That, and he hasn't texted again. Not even after they both texted him, called, at Stede's insistence tried a video call too.

His phone might just be dead.

"I read a good book for this situation," Stede continues. "Have you ever read Hatchet?"

"...probably?"

"Then you know the secrets to basic survival as well!"

"Oh," Izzy says. "No, I don't think... it's a kid's book, right? Not a bad one, I mean, but-"

"Here in the States they have Boy Scouts, maybe Ed's run into some of them! That would be good luck."

"They don't prowl the woods in packs!"

"But they do camping trips! I loved reading about that as a kid. Yeah, we had our version, but back then the American version was the It Thing-"

Izzy splutters. "They're people's children! They don't just wander the woods ceaselessly!"

A branch snaps.

"We should probably get a move on," Stede mutters. "It'll be dark soon."

--

"Everyone is going to ask why we didn't call the police first," Izzy says. "And I do start to wonder why we didn't."

"Would they go out this soon for an adult? I didn't think the Americans did that."

"The sooner we leave this country, the better," Izzy grumbles. "I know, ultimately the work project has been a good one. But you own everything to do with it now, so you can move us back home, or somewhere that isn't here at least."

"I admit that would be nice," Stede sighs. "Should we stop, eat and rest for a moment?"

"It's getting darker by the minute, can we really afford to lose that time?"

They press onwards.

--

"If there was no sign warning of animals," Bonnet whispers. "Then there probably aren't any here. That logic tracks."

"Does it?"

"Kiss me as a distraction?"

"We don't have time for-"

A huff of breath.

"Don't run," Izzy murmurs. "Just keep walking."

"I'd really rather die making out, if I must die out here-"

"I know, but shhh!"

"Izzy-"

Something crashes behind them, and he grabs Stede's hand.

"Run ahead, and find. Well, if it's a bear actually going higher won't work and-"

Something heavy thunks him in the back.

"What the fuck?"

"Oh!" Ed's voice emerges from the shadow. "It is you guys. Oh my god! This-it'll be funny once I tell you-I thought you two were some, I don't even know, out here to murder me!"

Ed cackles, and holds up his hunting knife. "I nearly smacked this into the back of your neck, thinking I was protecting myself! Holy shit, wow, fuck, actually that. That could have been bad. Oh god-"

"Let's put that back in the sheath," Stede says softly, taking the knife from Ed. "Glad you carry it though, considering how dangerous this area seems. And right by the highway!"

"Where else would...nature doesn't-" Izzy rolls his eyes. "Never mind. But he's right. Good that you have it, though thank you for not outright stabbing me."

"What about the tire iron?" Stede asks. "We found it and I touched it and oh my fingerprints are on it, Ed-"

"There was a snake," Ed interrupts. "So I beat it to death with the tire iron."

"I didn't see any remains of a snake."

Izzy shakes his head. "Nothing. Maybe an animal-"

"Oh no," Ed says. "You know how I am with snakes. He was beaten, to death, and into pieces, and then oblivion."

Izzy blinks. "When did you last eat?"

"Lunchtime."

"We need to get out and get you food."

--

"You know," Stede says as they drive down the dark highway, towards the nearest open diner. "I didn't hate that. I hated the reason we were out there, of course, because I was worried about Ed. But the actual walk..."

"You don't want to do that again."

"Did you really hate it?"

"...no. The quiet bits, both of us not snapping at each other, those were relaxing. I'd just rather not be out there because we're rescuing Ed."

There's a snore in the backseat. Not surprising, because Ed fell asleep even before AAA got to them with more gas. He's probably out even harder now.

Stede smiles. "Well then. I'm free this next weekend."

"Oh-"

"You're free this next weekend-"

"I am-"

Stede shrugs. "If you'd rather not..."

"I didn't say no. Just...not this trail."

"Oh god, no, we'll go to a different one. A better one. With a field to lay in."

"You have a fetish for being covered in ticks?" Izzy asks. "Because out here-"

"Ah, that's right. We'll just have to fuck in the car before and after I guess."

"I guess we will."

[masterqwertster]

More AU thoughts...

Ashton of the Ashari and the legacy of Hishari

Look, unlike Greymoore, the Ashari are going to care about all the odd ideas in little Ashton's head from spending the first ten(ish) years of their life in a cult village. The Ashari also aren't going to smother those ideas under the struggle of survival, like in Magical Mad Max-ville, but try to methodically de-radicalize him since there has to be some measure of druidic culture overlap that they're going to have to recontextualize.

To start with, all the important/relevant adults in Zephrah (and later Terrah) are aware that Ashton is an orphan from Hishari. So they are looking for cult habits that need to be curbed

Ashton, having done their month and half or so in shitty Bassuras and learned to read people looking to get them in trouble, does pick up on the extra criticism aimed their way. But is also using another lesson learned in Bassuras: fuck off, I do it my way

The adults' biggest concern is that Ashton is very much into eidolons, elementals, and primordial titans. He does not think any of these entities are threatening. Eidolons always seem to play nice around the kid, but they are the least of that group

Scarier still, Ashton has been taught that eidolons are leftover pieces of primordials and that bringing back the primordials is The Thing to Do, so they have the bright idea to "gather up lots of eidolons to reform the titans!"

Which Ashton's father (one of the fucking Lyth-priests) said wouldn't work, but the Ashari folks are pretty sure could have caught on as an idea in Hishari given Ashton has a fucking gift for collecting large enough groups of eidolons for them to manifest from wisps into minor elemental creatures (likes the wind cougar). If he could get enough together... well, an actual elemental doesn't seem out of the question

This knack also causes debate about whether the Ashari should encourage such a gift by teaching Ashton the druidic arts, or if they should try to bury the talent as a precaution against Ashton reviving Hishari ideals/culture or otherwise going rogue. Obviously, they end up not teaching Ashton druid stuff (besides maybe the Earth Ashari background fluff of "make a pebble with magic"), he's still a barbarian

By the way, eidolons have to be prevalent around druid cultures since bonding with one is a method through which Archdruids gain their longevity. So canon vs this AU, a place like Bassuras probably isn't going to have lots of eidolons, but the Demithore Valley, which Hishari was on the edge of, and likely the Ashari villages are going to have lots of eidolons. So Ashton's previous habits/knowledge in regards to eidolons would be retained in this AU as relevant rather than largely forgotten being irrelevant as probably happened in canon due to the environment Ashton was moved into. Bassuras: Druidic cult knowledge=useless, best forget it. Zephrah/Terrah: Druidic cult knowledge=must be handled with caution and reevaluated into proper moderation

Anyways, attempts to get little Ashton to quit conglomerating eidolons into bigger critters doesn't go well as the danger the adults keep preaching about just isn't happening. They're friendly! See?

Though they do manage to convince Ashton that full elementals and the primordial titans are dangerous via incursions from the Rifts and the history of the Tal'Dorei holiday of Winter's Crest (Errevon the Rimelord is said to have been in the titan territory of power) and the history of the Founding/Schism and the just plain damage caused by the Whispered One walking a titan's corpse around. So proof of damage there, but he still considers eidolons good (...and if combined eidolons made a titan, it would be a good titan. obviously)

Ashton's eidolon Bigger Friend making only comes to a halt after the move to Terrah (around 11 years old), when someone older who knows Ashton has been constantly told not to gather eidolons into manifesting decides to take a swing at Ashton after seeing they've done it again. At which point manifested friend attacks Ashton's attacker to protect him. It does some real damage/almost kills them

Being a kind-hearted kid at heart, Ashton finally listens about being careful with eidolons because they don't want to get more people hurt by accident like that. Just enjoying the company of the wisps instead of trying to get them to manifest

Ashton also spends a fair bit of time as a teenager once their ability for Pass Without a Trace kicks in trying to sneak into places they shouldn't be to find out what the fuck was up with Hishari that made it blow up (Besides the obvious desire to bring back the titans). They get caught a lot in the beginning, but manage to develop their sneaking/thieving skills over time

Still don't get a lot of answers out of the sneaking, so when Ashton leaves for Bassuras, he keeps an ear open (though he doesn't expect to hear much on the wrong continent)

When Ashton steals the Hishari helmet from the museum, Orym is concerned. He's aware that Hishari was Ashton's past and origin, and that they're still sort of pursuing it makes him worry because it was a fucking cult

Given the Cult of the Dark Heart pops up in Terrah and Ashton was a cult baby, that may be the time the foster parents make a fuss about Ashton having gone into crime after leaving Terrah (and not before because they were embarrassed/scandalized about raising a criminal). What if he went back to his cult roots and was helping them? Ashton's not there to defend themself. But Keyleth is. And she knows Ashton and Orym are pursuing a fight with the Ruby Vanguard that the Dark Heart cultists mentioned. She has faith in the kid she saved, the kid who considers himself a brother to one of the people slain by the RV and his widowed husband, the kid who sheepishly asked her if doing crime meant he was kicked out of the Ashari and was obviously relieved when she said no (and she was thinking adventurer crimes, not professional criminal, but semantics). That kid would not try to destroy a place they called home

Team Issylra ends up seeing eidolons before they get to Hearthdell, because while it's been at least 6 years since Asthon's gotten to play with eidolons, he still knows what they feel like and how to call them

Though Ashton is surprised by how much more readily they come to him. And eidolons would come to him pretty readily before. (It's the dunamancy juice. The Luxon is supposed to be the primordials' creator, so the leftover titan pieces like a piece of their creator)

When the team gets to Hearthdell and talk with Abbadina, Orym worries again because this sounds so much like the stuff Ashton used to say when they first came to Zephrah: Titans were here first, we should bring them back, etc.

Orym doesn't get to really talk to Ashton about his concerns of re-radicalization until after they're on their way to see Hevestro, considering the quick ensnarement into fighting a temple and upsetting after talk

Ashton reassures Orym that he knows bringing back even one titan is a bad idea. He's not buying Abbadina's shit (he doesn't tell Orym that sometimes in those dreams where he's himself-but-not, he never left Hishari and they succeeded in bringing forth a titan. It's fucking terrible. There's no appeasing a monster that only wants you dead and gone)

Still "happy" to get the location of Hishari and a general history of it from Hevestro. They still kind of want to know about where they came from, and the Ashari sure as fuck aren't going to tell them for fear of cult relapse (which they probably would tell him if he asked nicely and with the right context, but sometimes you build up ideas in your head and don't challenge them. Also the whole thing of how Hishari has become a vague warning against cults kind of perpetuates the idea of not getting details by just asking around)

[mochilorddrakeinferno]

Greetings, I hope that you are well: I'm very interested in your Dimentio/Merloo theory. It is a great theory, and I think it works quite well as I believe it ties in quite a few loose ends and serves a wonderful further contrast between Dimentio and Bleck's characters, though there are a few points I would like to enquire about towards the theory:

Does the theory pose that Merloo IS the son of the Master Magician if Dimentio is Merloo, if that's the case, wasn't the son not heard from again after the accident? The usage of "some say" presents the survival of the son is ambigiuous so...Wouldn't the people know that Merloo is the magician's son if he is presented as important enough to get a stain-glass window?

Is the prognositicus directly stated to be difficult to decipher? I understand that the Light prognosticus would be difficult to transcribe as it was activley written. But who actually wrote the dark prognosticus? And when was it actually made? "But no person after obtaining this amazing book ever found happiness". The fact that obtain is used here possibly suggests to me that anyone who had the book in their possession never found happiness and to me that implies that there isn't an "old language" barrier needed to be crossed for the Dark Prognosticus to be read. The Light prognosticus was written by the ancients to counter the prexistimng Dark Prognosticus, so to me it makes sense that the Light Prognosticus would need to be deciphered to understand, but not the Dark. I may be missing something though. 

This would imply to me that Dimentio still could have stolen the Prognosticus when the count wasn't looking, even if he wasn't Merloo, and still would have been able to read it. 

(I wouldn't be surprised though if the writer (Co writer Merloo) who wrote the light prognosticus by using the Dark Prognosticus this measure likely DID go insane having to read the Dark Prognosticus and transcribe it in his language thoughm, the hypnotic - And that does make me ask why Merlumina didn't go insane if she ALSO contributed to the writing of the dark prognosticus but this is a bit off topic-)

If none of the ancients in the bridge between Flipside/Flopside are alive anymore, only their descendants, is there direct evidence of the lifespans that could dictate that could Merloo still be alive? You make the point of "the public had have had no way to know of the Pixl Queen until the uprising of 1,000 years later". Please can you explain the evidence of this towards the ancients being able to live at least 1,000 years? I probably missed something when going over Carson's dialogue- You also mentioned that the apprentice had lived for at least 1,000 years. Is there direct proof of this within the game?

Is there much direct symbolism between Merloo and Dimentio? As you touched on in the Lore wiki, the visual ties and pallete are very weak, and symbolism across the type characters in that respect doesn't seem to viable. Even though the painting has Dimentio's colours, the painting also has other colours in the background that aren't affiliated with him. Had Merloo any symbol of a diamond, or any design connection of the sort, I think the connection maybe be a little bit stronger?-

"Oh, and some say the son of the magician miraculously recovered from the accident. If so, the bloodline of the magician could endure... Did they find happiness? Or otherwise..." Was this line different in the Japanese verssion to refer specifically to the son finding happiness? Doesn't this alter the meaning of the line quite a bit? 

I think that the theory is a unique and interesting approach to Dimentio's characater and makes him seem far more interesting, and honestly I'd love to see it being official lore for the character, though, when comparing how the rest of the game presents its lore, the theory seems a bit...farfetched, even with the abundance of evidence provided. 

When looking at how lore is generally presented in the game, the lore seems a bit...Scattered..outside of Count Bleck and Timpani's as well as some of the direct lore you can find in locations like King Crocaus's castle detailing the stories of his family tree and the glass window section of Flipside's main Co-founders/contributors. The rest of the lore practically comes exclusivley from Carson and is relativey... Easy to put together, so to speak. 

I have no doubt that the writers wanted to tie in Dimentio with the Magician son part of the theory, as the term "magician" has been used to describe his character and I certainly agree that Merloo is connected to his character a least in some way as he also uses dimensional magic and has the key word "magician" to determine him and as there are no descendants of Merloo present, but that lack of really any noteworthy visual connection and the way the other lore is generally presented  is one of the few reasons why I think him actually being Merloo might not have been the intention despite how good the theory is?

Apologies for the ask and I hope that you have a nice day!

Glad you asked, and happy to answer! This will be a very long one. So long in fact that it broke the character limit again, so it's Google Doc link time again. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eLguKB4Guepv55BkRF0i3U98_2ObJ3SVWAHETEDjptQ/edit Enjoy!

[musings-of-a-midnight-melody]

Zombie apocalypse SBI

Cw for zombie apocalypse stuff, and this is a word/thought spew so no proper grammar/paragraph breaks.

Disarmer: this is based on characters, not the actual cc’s themselves. I do not support Wilbur.

Tommy who's been surviving on his own for so long, only barely getting by on scraps and escaping the jaws of the undead. he's tired, stressed, and paranoid. His only weapon is a metal bat he just barely managed to grab when the chaos happened, separated from his family and friends. He doesn't even know who's alive, or if there is anyone alive. He hasn't seen another living person since the initial outbreak. He’s slowly losing hope, and one night as he's setting up camp, there's a noise. Gripping his bat firmly in both hands, he creeps up behind a figure lurking about in some nearby bush, and whacks them in the back of the head with his eyes closed. He expects to see a corpse of a zombie when he opens his eyes, but instead sees.. a person. A living, breathing, person. And Tommy's just possibly killed him. Cursing, he looks around before putting down his bat, and dragging the person back to his camp. he jogs back to where he left his bat, and brings it back. He props the person against the wall of the building he's in, and gets a better look at them. It’s a man that seems to be in his mid 20's, with brown curly hair and.. glasses. How the fuck does someone have glass- oh, there's no lens. Must be aesthetic reasons, then. Well, as aesthetic you can get in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Tommy, begrudgingly, falls asleep and hopes this stranger won't wake up and kill him. He wakes the next morning, to his mild surprise, with the stranger warming himself with the fire Tommy had made. As they lock eyes, they both start to talk "you little shit-" "I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO KNOCK YOU OUT". After a while of Tommy apologising and the man tearing into him, he introduces himself as Wilbur. Tommy's eyes light up as Wilbur tells his story, which is quite similar to Tommy's, but deflates a little as Wilbur confirms what Tommy feared; no signs of other survivors. then Wilbur smiles slightly "but hey, I found you, man! We have a chance of surviving this together. If you'll stick with me?" Tommy probably agreed to it a little too fast, but he's been without human contact for so long. While he hates to admit it, he's lonely. He always thought the zombie apocalypse would be full of cool, zombie killing action, but it's not. It’s sleepless nights and having to go without food. It’s having a panic attack after barely escaping from a horde and feeling so exhausted that you'd do anything for a warm, soft bed. Wilbur likely offered to pair with this kid too quickly, but he could see they both needed someone else to survive with, otherwise they wouldn't last much longer. Plus, Tommy's a kid, probably scared and unprepared. Not that Wilbur was prepared, but no 17 year old would survive on their own for long. But, Tommy has. And although he knocked Wilbur out, Wilbur could see how worried this kid was that Wilbur would hate him, after doing something that Wilbur probably would've done as well. They’re interrupted by the distant sound of approaching zombies, and the pair head out. While it's difficult adjusting to life with another person again, so much pressure is lifted from both of their shoulders. No need to worry about a particularly quiet zombie sneaking up on you when your guard's down, knowing that someone has your back when you rest. And, the pair start to regain something they both thought they'd lost long ago. Hope.

It’s one night where it's Tommy's turn to watch while Wilbur rests, snoring slightly. He can hear growling, quiet and distant, but it sounds like a horde. Shaking Wilbur awake, Tommy grabs the semi-working binoculars (you can only see out of one lens) to get a better look. There is a horde, but it's not coming in their direction. Wilbur mumbles groggily about what Tommy woke him up for, Tommy merely hands him the binoculars and points in the direction of the horde. Wilbur looks, and turns his gaze to Tommy, slightly annoyed. They’re not even heading towards the pair, why the hell did Tommy wake him? "No, look" Tommy insists. Wilbur, looks again, slightly rolling his eyes, and takes note that the horde is heading towards a source of light. Something you don't see often unless you forgot to put out a fire you made. There must be more people. And there's a horde headed right towards them. Wilbur, while wanting to meet with other survivors, doesn't want to risk his and Tommy's safety by going into a group of undead. They don't even know if those other survivors are friendly or still alive, but before Wilbur can get a word out, Tommy's started taking off with his backpack on and bat in hand. "Come on, Wil. We’ve got to help them, they're in trouble!" Wilbur manages to grab Tommy's arm before he leaves properly, pulling him back. "Tom, we don't know if there's actual survivors or not. There could've been some faulty wiring that's started a fire. Plus, if there are survivors, we don't know if they're hostile. I don't want you getting hurt." Tommy has that look on his face, though - a look that Wilbur's come to recognise over these past few months with Tommy. It’s a look that says "I'm doing what I want, and you can't stop me." Sighing, Wilbur grabs his machete and backpack, and tries hard not to smile when he sees how Tommy's face brightens when he sees Wil grabbing his stuff.

They quietly make their way over, and Wilbur notices something strange. "Tommy, weren't there more zombies when we looked? Where have they gone?" looking around, Tommy frowns. "Where the fuck did those ugly bastards go?" Before Wilbur can reply, the pair hear the sound of a gun clicking behind them. "WE'RE ALIVE DON'T SHOOT US" Tommy screams, and a hand is harshly slapped over his mouth. "Are you nuts?! Loud noises are gonna attract more of those things, what are you thinkin?!" Wilbur has his hands up in attempt to not look threatening, and Tommy decides he doesn't like being silenced. He licks the hand currently covering his mouth. The person removes their hand in disgust, while a light wheezing is heard from their companion. They’re trying not to laugh while the first person voices their disgust. "Who’s the loud one now, bitch?" "Tommy!" "Heh?" Unable to hold it in, the companion bursts out laughing at Tommy’s comment. “Phil. Phil please. Now is not the time to be laughing at my misery.” “Mate you should’ve seen your face!” Wilbur and Tommy can’t help their laughter too, now. The unnamed guy just looks distraught as he’s laughed at by Phil, Tommy and Wilbur. Clattering nearby alerts the small group, and they can hear the sound of the groaning undead. “We need to get the hell out of here” Tommy remarks as he grabs onto the sleeve of Wilbur’s coat. Wilbur looks back at him “you don’t say! We have a camp not far from here, come with us.” The guy supposedly named Phil, starts to follow as unnamed just looks bewildered. “We’re just trusting complete strangers are we now, Phil?” He questions his partner, following behind begrudgingly. “It’s better than another horde of those fuckin things!” Once the group reach the camp, Phil formally introduces himself to Tommy and Wilbur. “Sorry for pointing a gun at you earlier, we didn’t know if you guys were zombies or not” Wilbur smiles as he slings an arm around Tommy’s shoulder, pulling him closer “don’t worry, it’s basically what Tommy did when he first came across me. Except he knocked me out with his bat” Tommy groans as he shoves Wilbur away “Wil! I thought we weren’t going to bring that up again. Ugh, anyway, who’s the bitch?” Tommy asked as he pointed towards Phil’s partner, who currently stood leaning against the wall, prompting a small “heh?” from him. Phil chuckled “oh that’s Techno, don’t mind him. He’s goofy once you get to know him” Techno just grumbled as he crossed his arms, with Wilbur taking note of a mostly-healed bite wound on one. Tensing up, he grabbed his machete as he put his free arm in front on Tommy. “Is he infected?” Phil frowns as he looks at Wilbur before turning around towards Techno, realising what Wilbur was referring to. “Oh! Uh, probably not” Wilbur squinted, trying to push Tommy behind him. “Probably not?” while Phil seemed friendly and Techno cautious, Wilbur didn’t like the idea of someone being infected travelling with him and Tommy, he couldn’t take the risk of him turning and attacking them. “Well, it’s been quite a while since he got bit, and nothing’s really changed. We think he’s immune.” “I’m sorry but I can’t trust the chance of him turning, Tom-“ “oh come on Wil, quit being such a tight ass. Look at how far along that bite has healed, and he’s normal. Give them a chance.” Wilbur lets out a deep sigh. “Fine. But if he shows any signs of being a flesh muncher, we’re bailing.” Phil just laughs whilst Tommy breaks into a big smile, immediately bombarding the two with questions.

It’s a rough first weeks of the group travelling together, with both parties once again having to adjust to new company. Tommy’s a gremlin, Wilbur doesn’t trust Techno, Techno is tired of Wil’s mistrust, and Phil is losing his head trying to keep them all alive. Phil sends Wilbur and Techno out on a supply run together while he and Tommy explore an empty building that they plan to make into a base, in hopes that Wilbur and Techno will stop looking like they’re going to strangle the other. They’re raiding an abandoned supermarket, and Wilbur keeps glancing at Techno every so often, squinting at his arm. Techno sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Y’know, if I was going to turn into a zombie I would’ve turned ages ago? I’m not going to just start eating your brains out of the blue” Wilbur huffs, shoving some cans into his backpack before turning towards Techno. “And how are you so sure of that? For all we know, you could just be resistant and it takes a while for you to turn!” Exasperated, Techno snaps back “I have been travelling with Phil for months! I’ve had this bite for nearly a year! I am NOT infected!” “Well excuse me for being concerned about the safety of Tommy and I! I trust Tommy with my life, and I’m not about to risk his!” Wilbur’s raised his voice now, the repressed tension between him and Techno causing them to forget one of the most important rules; be quiet as to not alert the undead. “If you’re so concerned about your safety, why don’t you just go and leave then! Phil and I were doing just fine on our own!” “Fine!” “Fine!” Groan. ”Shit”. The pair’s arguing had caused some unwanted attention, and quite a lot of it too. Techno pulls the shotgun from his back and aims for the first few zombies that have entered from the front. “Get the rest of the food and head to the emergency exit! I’ll hold them off, now go!” Wilbur wastes no time shakily knocking the remaining cans into the backpack, dashing for the exit. Techno fires a few more shots, and as Wilbur reaches the exit, he hears Techno curse before running towards Wilbur. Wilbur shoves the door, only for it to be blocked on the other side. Shit shit shit! Frantically trying to get the door open, Wilbur fails to notice a zombie creeping up on him. “Wilbur, look out!” Just as Wilbur turns, he sees the open jaws of a zombie, ready to take a chunk out of Wilbur. Wilbur covers his face with his arms. I’m sorry Tommy. Instead of a painful bite like he was expecting, Wilbur hears the pained gasp of Techno. The zombie bit Techno’s shoulder, who proceeds to punch the zombie off of him, knocking it to the ground before stomping its’ head in. Techno turns to Wilbur “we shove together on three. Ready?” Wilbur nods. “One, two, three!” The door gives way, and the duo run back to camp, Techno clutching his shoulder. When the two get back, they’re greeted by a grinning Phil, whose grin quickly fades as he sees Techno. “Techno got bit!” Phil rushes to get medical equipment, as Tommy comes out, a distraught look on his face at hearing Wilbur’s comment. Phil takes Techno into a room to work on the wound, while Wilbur and Tommy wait anxiously. Tommy looks like he’s about to cry, which prompts Wilbur to pull him into a hug. “Techno’s going to be fine Tom, you know how stubborn he is.” Wilbur can feel how Tommy’s shaking, and he can’t deny that he feels himself shaking a little, too. Phil comes out a little while later, saying that Techno is fine, but he’ll be out of commission for a bit and will need to rest. Tommy rushes to see him, pulling him into a teary hug. “Techno! You’re okay!” Techno laughs a little, patting Tommy’s head. “Of course I am, you think I’m gonna let one wimpy, twig of a zombie take me down?” When Tommy doesn’t respond, and merely hugs Techno harder, Techno returns the hug. “I’m fine, Theseus. I promise.” Wilbur walks in soon after, watching the two hugs. “Uh, sorry to interrupt, but uh- can- can I have a word with you, Techno?” Techno nods as Tommy pulls away and makes his way outside. Wilbur stands there for a bit, shuffling awkwardly.

“Wilb-“ “Thank you, Techno. For saving my ass back there. I’ve barely trusted you yet you took that hit for me. And I’m sorry that I’ve been such an ass to you since we met.” Techno looks taken aback, before he sighs softly. “I haven’t been the best person to you, either, so you’re not entirely to blame. Also, you’re welcome. If I let you die then there would be no one to keep Tommy in check.” Wilbur laughed at that, before Techno started talking again. “But seriously, I couldn’t let you die. The kid needs you.” Wilbur softened a little at that. “And we need you, too. So maybe think about that before you throw yourself in front of a zombie for me?” Techno smirked. “Alright, fine. Guess I’ll let you be zombie chow next time.” The two shared a laugh before Wilbur walked up to Techno. “I hope you can forgive me and that we can be friends.” Wilbur reached out a hand to Techno, who took it and gave it a shake. “Maybe acquaintances at best.” He joked. Phil and Tommy then walked in, and the group started to relax. It was going to be a bitch to survive, but this group knew as long as they had each other, they would be okay.

[cannibalisticskittles]

alright so i talked about this way fucking more than i thought i was going to when i started, so this one gets a readmore for length. below the cut is just a bunch of thoughts on how amity views sex, and how astarion views sex, and how the relationship could’ve started just a bit differently in light of that.

when i do amity's astarion-romance run again, i am going to be extra analyzing everything. in general but also specifically with the aim of figuring out how likely an alternate start for amity's romance would be. don't get me wrong: i really don't think it would be out of character for amity to accept astarion's proposition(s) the way it all happened in-game; i wouldn't have gone ahead with it otherwise.

but. that doesn't mean that it's what she's most comfortable with. and given how astarion viewed this whole thing, and his complicated view towards sex....... it does make me wonder how things could've played out a bit differently. 

it is hard to not contribute to that sense of ‘sex as a tool/self as a tool,’ until he starts to unwind the skein of how he views sex and his own value and disentangle those concepts. and i think that having some intimacy with him, such that he believes you are going to trust and look out for him, builds some of the pathway to that mindset. not that he couldn't get to where he does in the game without that, but that it would take longer, and he might not be ready for that at the point when it happens. 

but wouldn't it be nice to… feed into that less?

plus it's a bummer! a bummer to be another time when astarion had sex with someone because he felt like that's what he had to do to survive, even if the circumstances are different and he didn't technically have to do that now; we know that that's how he felt about it still. and it's also a bummer to think that amity makes what is, for her, a pretty big personal step forward by deciding that yes, actually, it's probably okay if she's intimate with someone else when they are being very clear that they view this as a good thing, a thing they are interested in, a thing that would be fun for both of them…… only to find out later that, no, actually, there is trauma in pain wrapped up in this.

(she would probably also feel like, if she had been less wrapped up in her own head, she would have noticed that he wasn't truly enthusiastic and she could've avoided contributing to that sort of pain. she'd feel guilty for not declining.)

so, alright. first thoughts, focusing on amity. 

amity definitely has hang-ups with sex, but they aren't sex-specific. they're tied in with all the other hang-ups she has about her appearance and her value as a person and her mindset that romance and intimacy aren't something she can realistically expect to ever happen for her.

she has no view of sex as sinful; she's barely religious anyway, and oghma and gond genuinely would not give a shit. she doesn't view it as needing to only happen after marriage, or even within a committed romantic partnership; her own parents never married, and if they ever had any romantic inclinations towards each other, those were gone long before amity was old enough to perceive them. they're just work and business partners who happened to have sex and had amity as a result of that, and now they platonically co-parent well together (To Her. objectively they are both shit at being parents, but subjectively, amity believes they're good at parenting together).

those hang-ups are still there, though. being seen as Funny-Looking by all her peers, her appearance being taken as a sign of something infernal or demonic or otherwise non-specifically evil, and knowing that when she's disguised as a regular human, she gets a much warmer welcome – all of that feeds into an extremely strong belief that she is awful to look at and to be around (and thus she must preemptively make up for that fact by being as useful as possible to everyone around her). 

and then, when she's older and the family business is experiencing a boom and her father becomes part of parliament, she starts getting marriage proposals and propositions – sometimes from the same patriar shits that mocked her mercilessly as children, as though she could ever forget that. she has a tendency to forgive far more bullshit than she should, but there is no world in which she would ever believe that anyone, let alone these rich motherfuckers who made her life hell as a child, think that she's attractive now. (she would phrase that more kindly, but that's what it comes down to.) she knows it's just another play at power; she has money and status, and her father has money and status, and so a union with her is now seen as palatable. 

and it's awful. she wishes they'd just leave her alone. 

i imagine she has, sometimes, received a genuine proposition. she did get lightly flirted with during her first campaign, after all. but unless someone is exceedingly clear and direct with her, she is going to assume that they aren't actually romantically or sexually interested in her at all, and that it would be extremely presumptuous to think that. and the few who have been clear and direct about it came at times that were less than convenient. 

like hey, sorry, you are very nice, thank you for being direct, however, her party has been out in the wilderness for weeks and she was really looking forward to walking around athkatla at night for an hour or two, and then she has to speed back to her party so they can crack open a lich's skull, sorry! good luck… getting lucky with someone else tonight!

or… she just didn't want to. even if the timing is a bit more convenient, like if she's settled in one place for a few days or weeks and doesn't actually have anywhere else to be, she's going to have doubts. why on earth would a stranger approach her about this? why not someone… nicer to look at?? her self-esteem issues make her view the idea with extreme incredulity, and she'd turn them down. 

so. sex is not something she has any personal level of comfort with. 

secondly… look, amity isn't, like, wise. wisdom is famously her dump stat. (she actually has a higher strength score than wisdom score -- 9 vs. 8. it's bad.) 

she has a tendency to somehow still roll well on insight but she also doesn't know what the fuck to do with this information because it feels rude as hell to be looking for reasons to doubt what someone says. plus, even if someone thinks something different from what they say, they might be determined to act in alignment with their words rather than their thoughts. so amity has made the deliberate decision to nearly always take someone at their word, even if that means she lets herself be manipulated or lured into a trap, because she feels that demonstrating this form of trust is the Right and Good way to go about things. maybe it'll help them out. (she’ll just… carry around a knife and a rope so she can get out of situations like that if/when they go wrong.)

so she wants to take astarion at his word, and trust what he says. and yes, he propositions her, he's the one that brings up the idea. and, yes, he did make it seem as though it's something he's interested in. and yet….

is he, really? 

amity would have less doubts in this instance than she would in those cases where she was propositioned by a stranger – all that a stranger has to go off of is how she looks, and she knows that can't be a draw, so what the hell is it? but with astarion, well, they know each other better than that. not much better, mind you; they still hardly know each other at all. but they have fought in battles together, they're in the same boat regarding tadpoles in their brains and are working towards a shared interest. so, there isn't that same, immediate doubt as to why he's asking her; it's not her appearance, it's the fact that she's there. that's acceptable. that's logical. 

and yet. 

sex seems like a pretty big way to repay a favor. it's so intimate. so vulnerable. so… fraught with potential danger. so many ways someone could hurt you in those moments. 

(her mother, a cold, calculating, manipulative, Literal Actual Devil, made sure that amity was well-briefed in all the ways that vulnerability could fuck you over. amity chooses to ignore that most of the time, but she's still aware of those lessons. get lectured enough on all the ways you make it easy for someone to plunge a knife into your back and that lesson will stick with you.)

sure, she let him drink some of her blood, but that's not really that big a deal, right? it was hardly an inconvenience, she barely stumbled over her own feet the next day, anyway, and she could still mostly see straight when flinging spells. 

there is also the fact that she has extremely little experience with anything like this. she has never been in a real relationship. she has technically kissed someone/been kissed before – but like, as part of playacting with a childhood friend, or an adrenaline-fueled 'i can't believe we survived that' post-battle moment. never an intentional kiss. 

and. she's never had sex with anyone before. 

she doesn't put too much stock in the idea of The First Time, or view it with particular reverence; anything that can be done has to have a first time, right? but. first times don’t always go great. they're messy. flawed. and she's nervous! about her inexperience and about potentially fucking things up and being a shitty partner and ruining it for him.

now, amity has A Hard Time Saying No to people. and it is extremely hard for her to say no to someone when she wants to be useful and helpful and be on good terms with them. 

this situation is no different. astarion has made an offer. for all her trepidation, it is hard to refuse. and… he's very pretty, and they might all die suddenly and painfully and maybe it would be nice to not die without having had this experience. so it's not that she has no desire to do this, she's just… nervous!

so, she accepts. and then… tries to deflect. put it off. busies herself with setting up camp each night so there's never a free moment and then, oops, she's already asleep. or she just offers to let him drink her blood again when she sees him at night; maybe she can distract him enough for him to forget about the whole thing entirely. that'd be swell. at least, it would be preferable to feeling like she's somehow bartered sex from him by letting him feed on her. 

but he’s not going to forget about it. he needs to secure protection of some kind, and this is The Way He Knows How To Do That.

i'm not sure if i think astarion would lean more towards bemused acceptance of this, viewing it as just. an extremely slow seduction. earning her trust and her affection bit by bit, each time she lets him feed – and she does make that offer quite a bit, and my, how she shivers, how she squirms at the lightest touch on her face, her neck, her chin to reposition her. maybe he doesn't even feel the need to push it farther, even tho this isn't quite what he's used to; maybe she's just exceptionally easy to win over. that's less effort for him, overall. his midnight snacks double as reinforcing her interest in him. 

or, perhaps he'd be more annoyed by this, not thinking that anything is secure until he's put his full range of skills into use. all this… waiting for her to let down her guard more means that this is far more time and effort than he'd like to spend on this sort of thing, why on earth does she have to be this apprehensive? isn't that just his luck, for things not to go his way?

now, here's the other thing – for all her inexperience, i think amity would at least want to be an active participant. she wouldn't be content to, like, be lavished on, or have the majority of the attention on her. she'd much prefer it the other way around. 

and that's… not astarion's bag! not at this point! 

it does make me think of a dynamic where he expects to take things further, as is The Expectation That Has Normally Been Set For Him, gently pushing past mild protests of 'oh, you don't have to do that' (re: the 'you've done me a favor, and now i have a favor for you, xoxo' proposition [maybe a semi-pointed 'i don't have to do anything now, darling.' this time, it isn't at cazador's behest]) bc hey, he's gotta carry out this seduction; gotta secure that protection……… but then retracting when it becomes clear that she's eager to put the focus on him.

telling himself that drawing back is really for her sake because, after all, she said she's fine with that, and he supposes that listening to her builds her trust more, doesn't it? when it's really mostly borne from his discomfort at being vulnerable and the association with sex as a tool and the attention being on him… challenges that, juuuuust a bit. 

it ought to be, 'i do this thing for you, you are won over, you give me trust and protection.' he shouldn't need to have to… put on an act where he's lapping up the attention. it's too much. 

and, to be clear, i don't think that having someone want to focus their attention on him would be entirely strange to him; i'm sure some of his previous victims wanted to lavish him with attention. 

but. now is… just a bit different. even if he's not recognizing why he's feeling this way, the fact that he doesn't have to put up with something he doesn't want means he's subconsciously allowing himself to shy away from it, when he would previously (have to) put up with it as part of His Purpose For Cazador. 

so, he pulls back, and things stay intimate, for sure, but… there's less of that direct seduction.  and she speaks up for him when his vampiric nature is brought up, and she has no qualms with his feeding habits, so it seems to be going swimmingly, but it's still a bit strange. 

i think that could work. …my astarion romance scenes actually triggered at different times than they were supposed to so i'll have to keep all this in mind the next time i go through his romance, but these are the thoughts i've been having. 

anyway jesus this is four fucking pages and i don't really have a conclusion, uh. goodbye.