#and it was one of the very few times they actually f*cked in a bed

[rayleneii6]

A F*cked Up Desire

Chapter two: no cuddles

Summery: After an intimate night, she slept in the same bed as him accidentally. Now she needs to get out of the room quietly, and no, she's NOT sneaking. Definitely.

Word count: 2,731

Warning: probably lots and lots of grammar and spelling mistakes again.

A/N: this is the last chapter.

Read it on Ao3!

Chapter one

    It took a lot of moments for the girl to clear her mind form the foggy sleep. She blinked few times, trying to adjust to the light that hurts her poor eyes.

    She wanted to hiss and curse all that light, but her mind told her to stop in the last second. Wait, she told herself. I know this smell. And like that, her mind became fully awake.

    She groaned in silence, so she won't wake the man who's lying beside her. She cursed him too with all the words she knows.

    She was in Bucky Barnes' bed, her head resting in his damn muscular chest, which she does not remember doing before sleeping. Actually wait, what does she remember before falling asleep?

    She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to recoil everything. As usually, they had a good night fill with an intense pleasure. And apparently, she was so exhausted from it she slept in his room accidentally, again. It's not they have a rule for not sleeping after doing it, it's just her rule with herself.

    Sometimes, when she's too exhausted to even think about walking back to her room, she will find herself in his bed, beside his beautiful asleep face. Which she hates. Just like this time. And other times, when they use her room, she'll tell him to "F off" which he respond to it with something like: "already kicking me out? You tired with this beautiful, handsome face and," he'll gesture to his body, "this body? Seriously?" And then he'll add that fake, so f-ing cute pout. In her good days, she'll argue with him and literally drag him out of the door—which she knows he let her do that, 'cause, who's going to lie? She knows he's super powerful, like super-duper powerful. Also he uses that strength in... Interesting things—.

    And there's days when she can't argue with him back, so she'll just tell him to get out in a very grumpy way and she'll fall asleep immediately. And in the morning, she'll be faced with his face then the first thing she'll do when waking up is going to be rolling her eyes.

    She carefully distangled herself from him, rolling off the bed landing quietly as possible. She took a glance over her shoulder to check on him. Good, still in his beauty sleep. Yeah she mocks him about that always, but she can't deny it's really a beauty sleep.

    She started to look for her clothes—which wasn't easy, since someone, tend to actually throw them somewhere in the room. And what not helping more, is that this room is anything but tidy. And oh look! Her bra is under the bed. One item went down in her holy journey of searching for her clothes!

    She stopped long ago wondering how her clothes get in a real weird—and difficult—places. Like: behind the headboard which it was a miracle in its self to see it even, under the carpet? And are these her socks in his dirty clothes pile? Whatever, at least she found them in a new record this time, suck that Bucky!

    Since her holy journey of searching for tonight is done, time to dress up. She started to put her clothes, and god, finally some warmth after doing that journey bare. She finished clasping her bra in place, just the shirt and she'll be gone from this room. She can't stand the sight of it, everytime she's here, she has that feeling that she needs to organize this place, which she can't, she's not the girlfriend. What is she even? She doesn't have a clue.

    "Ha!! Gotcha this time doll!"

    She literally jumped in her place and nearly did a whole prayer when his voice startled her.

    After putting a hand on her heart and taking a few deep breaths to try to calm herself, she turned around to face him with a scowl. And what she reserved? A big-ass idiot grin from ear to ear, just like a little kid. And that long beautiful brown hair is all messy and tangled.

    He looks so sleepy and... Cute? No no no, he's NOT cute. He actually wasn't wearing anything, and the blanket that is barely reaching his hips isn't helping so much right now. And oh god, can he stop looking so inocente with that pure-happiness smile 'cause she need to breath? Jeeez, can't a woman breath like she wants now?

    "What do you mean "gotcha"?" She put her first sock on while talking, "it's not like I was sneaking or something." She was trying to get out quietly without waking him, which is not sneaking. Nope, there's a BIG difference between them actually.

    And for the love of god, why she always feels that heat when his damn accent became more visible unintentionally?

    "You were clearly trying to leave quietly," his grin became even bigger if even that possible. "And I finally, finally, got to catch ya before you do!"

    Oh now she understand, everything between them is like a game, a challenge. He likes to rile her up and push her buttons so much, and she likes to challenge him. And looks like he made a challenge with himself about "catching" her before she "sneaks" out. So now he has that big winning smile, which she reacted to by of course, rolling her eyes.

    "Well, congrats. Yay, you made it. Such a good boy."

    His smile faltered and he pouted a little at her sarcasm. "Why don't you reward me by I don't know, actually staying?" He even bated his lashing feigning inocente.

    "No thank you. Told you before, I don't do cuddling."

    "Come ooooon, not even for this handsome charming man?"

    "Nope." She popped the "p" and put on her other sock. Cuddling after being intimate might cause.... Feelings. And they didn't put labels on their relationship. So she needs to be cautious, even if all she wants to do to that cute sleepy face is kissing every bit of it. "I'm not even supposed to be here, I slept accidentally."

    "Was I too much last night that I wear her highness hmm?"

    She felt heat creeps to her face, "Shut up, you idiot."

    "Come on doll, stop being a stubborn-ass who ruin fun," he shifted in the bed, and bless that blanket, it slipped down further to give her a quite view. "Or is it me?"

    She snapped of her thought and put on her best nonchalant behavior. "You? Why it would be you?"

    "I don't know, you tell me. Is it really that bad to stay in my room after the night and wait to leave after I wake up? Or my morning breath is that bad?"

    "Barnes," she groaned in frustration, "stop being dramatic for a second can you? You're insufferable."

    She regretted her words a little when he got out of the bed and walked to her. And oh god, he's just beautiful, like really beautiful. How can possibly a human body be such a sight to eyes? Yeah she knows the super serum and all that, but she bets he was this beautiful even in the 40s.

    She pinned her eyes on the upper half of his body, because she knows she won't get out of this room if she didn't. And thank you so much, she wants to walk without pain tonight.

    He came closer and cupped her face with his hands, she can feel the diffrent of each one. One is so cold, the other is warm. "Getting back to "Barnes" huh?"

    He knows she call him that when she's pissed with him, just like now. "See? Still dramatic."

    "Oh this," his lips twitched upward, "this isn't me being dramatic, believe me, you haven't seen anything yet." His smirk vanished and replaced with a serious expression. "Why won't you stay?"

    She—unfortunately—can't snap at him when he's talking with that low and sweet voice, without mentioning his fingers tracing her cheekbone.

    "It's just.... " words betrayed her and she pressed her lips together, "after being intimate, the talk that follows will be.... Emotional. Some stupid sweet talk you wouldn't have said in the normal times. It's all nonsenses, and unnecessary. So I spare us both."

    A long moment of silence followed her words, and she started thinking if he got her wrong, or maybe she said her words in the wrong way. But then, he broke it.

     "You're afraid," he said it as a matter-of-fact which annoyed her actually.

    "I'm not—"

    "You're afraid."

    She groaned again in frustration and held herself from hitting his dump-ass head. She isn't afraid, she put her feelings in safe and chose a random combination—so she won't remember it—and closed it. That's it. She can't have feelings in this... Whatever is this relationship is. So nope, she's fine. Perfectly fine.

    And did he heard her thoughts and decided to mock her or what? 'Cause he slowly got to his knees in front of her. Great, now she's not fine. He knows that she's weak for him when he's like that. F him.

    "What are you afraid from," Did he really has to look up at her with those icy-blue eyes? "That I'm gonna break your heart...?"

    His hands traveled from her waist down, and down. He then tugged at her waistband and looked at her. He never ever had done anything without her permission, just like he promised months ago. And oh boy, does she fell more for him when he can be this gentle and consider?

    She took a deap breath, then exiled slowly, then did it again. She let her gaze travel across his face, to look at that gorgeous view. Then she Shook her head, denying him her consent. Instantly, his hands fell to his lap, breaking contact. And looking at him like this? His face held a bit of disappointment and hurt, despite him trying to hide it, was hurting her.

    "No," her voice came weak and she begged it to not be, "The opposite." She faked a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

    They never put a label at what their relationship is, and they both know why. For a moment like this, so if one of them—or both wanted to have more. To give a chance to let that happen. And does he now want to? Or she just misunderstood this whole situation?

    "Bucky....," she has to make sure—needs to. "Bucky, what you want from me now. Just tell me straight away. Please." Her voice gave up on her in the last word and how much she hated that, her feelings were supposed to be in that safe, not out, playing with her mind and heart. It's not funny, it hurts and hurts and never stop doing that. What's wrong with her?

    "I want you," unlike her, his voice was steady, and she was a mess. A mess by his hands. "I want you to stay the nights, to wake up with you, I want....more."

     Forget it, what was her random combination again? Never mind, she'll just break the safe. "God.... Don't."     "Don't what?"

    "Don't say that, don't be romantic, don't make me hate the way I feel about you more."

    "Oh so you're a human?" He said with a smirk, which wasn't fair for her, everything he says or does isn't.

    "God you're such a D. I told you months ago, I'm human."

     "And you just said you've feelings for me."

    "Gun, poison or a rope?"

    "Huh? What?"

    "For killing myself,"

    "Seriously doll? Just 'cause you said you've feelings, thought you didn't even mentioned what kind."

    "I think maybe a poison while sleeping? But must be a one doesn't hurt, or change how I'll look after death."

    "Omg, I think I ruined you, the doll I know wouldn't consider even that,"

    "And I think I fixed you, you became no fun just like me. You need to spend less time with me."

    "I tried, but that wasn't easy actually,"

    "Then try harder." She placed her hands on her hips, looking down at him with a raised brows.

    "I know what kind of game you're playing, you're trying to distract me from what you said."

    "Did it work?"

    "For a little while, but I know you very good now and you can't win this."

    Everything is still a game or a challenge for them in the end. She sighed heavily. And looked at him with annoyed expression. "Can't you just—" she gestured with her hand in the air, "—forget it?"

    "Nope," he smirked and popped the "p" like she did earlier, throwing her words back at her. And he succeeded, he got her to groan in frustration.

    "You gonna hold this on me forever right?"

    "Ooooh my dear doll, every word has been memorized," he tapped his temple, "Every. Word. All here."

    "Do you happen to know a place where they sell poisons?"

    He scoffed at that and rolled his eyes. "Back to that again?" He sighed and Shook his head, "No need to that, yeah I'll tease you a lot, but I like you you know?"

    She raised her two brows and looked at him skeptically. "Did you, Bucky Barnes, said you like me. Like, me me?"

    "Here, something to tease me back with, satisfied?" The sarcasm was dripping from his words. But he looked amused.

    "Soooooooo.....you like me?" She still can't wrap her head around it.

    "A lot actually. I know, I know. Shocking. Mind-blowing."

    "And that's makes us....?"

    "Whatever you like. That makes us what you like, if you still want to continue this but keep it just physical, or want to add some feelings in it. Or... End things up. It's up to you. Always have been."

    She pretend to think, doesn't want to look eager and scream "let me hold your face between my hands, kiss you senseless and love you!". So she took her time, playing with his nerves.

    "What if," she drew the words slowly, teasing him back. "What if I chose the second option?"

    "Then I guess we're official. Hypothetically speaking if you chose it of course."

    "Yeah, hypothetically." She bit her lip. They both know that they're not really speaking hypothetically, but they'll keep this teasing game anyway.     "Do you want to...?" Bucky doesn't need to complete the sentence, she knew what he meant.

    "Seriously Bucky?" She feigned disappointment in him, though she's very amused actually. "I've work. You've work. We've work."

    He pouted at her, trying to allure her to agree, which he doesn't even need by the way. "I think I might need to ruin you more. You became once again no fun."

    "Maybe, just maybe, since you're already on your knees, make good from it."

    He smiled mischievously and raised a brow. "Her highness wants me to beg?"     "Yes. Say please, pretty please?" Those were his words months ago, and by the playful look on his face, he recognize it.

    "I really want to say to you "go F yourself", that was what she shot back at him actually. "But I'd rather do it myself so, please? Pretty please?"

    She shivered and held herself from moaning in the last second. But she gathered herself and said, "Fine. Since you're so eager and on your knees for me." He words got out more breathlessly than she liked.

    Then Bucky tugged at her waistband again, and this time, she nodded. And before she tells him her condition her trousers was thrown away.

    She groaned in frustration, "Bucky no!" But it was too late already. "You should really stop throwing my clothes! It's so hard to find them when you do!"

    "Can't help it, there's something else is hard too, so," he smirked at her, and she went all red. God help me with this man, she thought.

    "Just.... Ugh! Whatever, I hate you."

    "No you don't,"

    "Unfortunately, no I don't." She rolled her eyes at him.

    When they got all her clothes away and were settled on the bed, he looked at her with soft eyes while planting kisses all over her face.

    "You know," she said biting her lip trying to hold her smile but she failed. "You can come by my room later, don't worry, you won't need to "F off" this time."

    His answer was that big beautiful smile again.    

[shunshunrika]

3 some w isagi and bachira?

maybe include Nagi too if you're comfy (T_T)

luv ur works really I've been stalking ur acc (not in a creepy way) (*_*")

omg nooo it's not creepy at all and THANK YOU LOVE FOR READING my noob-grade, thirsty thoughts on this blog!! let me know how you like this!

warnings: SMUT, mdni, 18+ only, afab!reader, cum play, double penetration, mfm, vaginal s*x, nipple play, kissing, oral (m. and f. recieving), handjobs, and the like. not proofread towards the end.

PASS! ft. Isagi Yoichi and Bachira Meguru

symbiosis(sym.bi.o.sis) (n.) - a mutually beneficial relationship between different people or groups.

You had initially firmly believed that monogamy was the absolute law of the land, and that polyamory was for unconventional freaks. Yeah, you'd have your fair share of hookups, but you'd never consider dating two people at once. With that in mind, you struggled to find a partner who would satisfy two very dominant traits of your personality - being taken care of and to take care of.

Yes, such people exist, and it was a constant fight to keep both sides of you satisfied until you had grown the balls to admit you were wrong about your rigid notions.

You had begun dating your tinder match, Meguru Bachira on a whim. It had started off as a casual fling, a few hookups here and there to keep both of you happy - but you started to grow affectionate towards the chirpy boy who would cling to you and eventually offered him a real date.

You thought it was going great with Meguru. He was a good guy. Friendly, loving, hilarious and above all respectful and considerate. He was the one who observed you were not being yourself to the fullest extent in this relationship and he was the one who proposed that you bring in another chap into the mix.

He told you that one of his closest friends, some guy by the name of Yoichi Isagi was picking up interest in you after having seen you and chatted with you at one of the football association gatherings as Meguru's +1. (Yes, your boyfriends were footballers, it was supremely hot) He confessed to Meguru about his growing infatuation after a chance bar outing and getting drunk. Meguru was initially jealous because he wanted you all to himself but with time, he considered that Isagi would be the perfect guy to bring out your other side, the one you hide with Meguru. With that, the three of you met up and after a lot of fidgeting around and a lot of scrutiny on your end, you decided to become a throuple.

It turned out to be one of the best decisions of your life and you couldn't thank Meguru enough for it. You took control and had your ego tickled when your baby, Meguru was with you and you were able to let go off the steering wheel while Isagi made sure you were pampered to hell. So far, you had kept your sex lives separate. You were riding Meguru on some days and on some days, you were being f*cked into the mattress by Isagi. It was perfect.

*******

"Yoichi" you whispered into Isagi's ear, laying on top of him on the bed as he scrolled through his phone, reading web-manga. You had come over to Isagi's house today as Meguru was grinding at practice the whole day. It had been a few days since you saw Isagi as he was overseas for a work-related business. You had figured since it was his off day, the two of you could maybe catch up a bit and watch a movie. That and you desperately needed his kisses.

He gave the best kisses in the world, he easily trumped Meguru in that department.

"What is it, baby?" he asks softly, removing strands of hair from your forehead so they don't fall into your eyes. He keeps the phone aside and embraces you, rubbing your back.

"I want kisses." you say, pouting. Meguru hasn't actually seen you this way ever and you were always curious as to how he would react if he did.

"Kisses?" Yoichi smirked at you, bringing your face closer to him.

"Here?" he asked, pressing a peck to your forehead as you shook your head.

"Then here?" he pressed another kiss to your cheek.

"Yoichi! You know what I mean!" you whined, squirming in his grip as he laughed.

"Oh, right, right." he said, kissing your nose and scrunching up his face when he sees your expression. "Ah, you are such good entertainment!" he says, finally leaving a kiss on your lips.

"Can't believe Bachira had you to himself for three whole months before I got my hands on you."

You were barely listening to what he was saying though. Today marked the twelfth day since you had subbed. and you were desperate. You grabbed Isagi by the hair and brought him down on your face again.

"Hey, Easy there-" he managed to speak before you were pushing your tongue into his mouth. It's not long before he's groaning into your mouth, the sweat from both of your foreheads making your hair stick to them. You snake your hands up into his t-shirt and feel his taut muscles relaxing and contracting as you continue to smooch him. You feel him bite your upper lip to make you stop for a second.

"Enough with the lips." he commanded, moving his mouth to latch onto your neck and start sucking there as he positions himself under you to squeeze the fat of your waist.

"Ah, I missed this!" you yelp as he hits a delicious spot near the crook of your neck. "Go harder!" you find yourself getting lost in Isagi's moves and his heady scent until a familiar jolly voice cuts through your senses.

"Y/N?" you see Meguru standing by the door of Isagi's bedroom and the both of you look at him skeptically. He seemed a little off - duller, somehow.

"How'd you get in?" Isagi asked. No he wasn't offended or anything that he had just interrupted your hot make out session. Isagi was probably genuinely concerned about house safety.

"You gave me the keys months ago, dumbass." Meguru said, approaching your bed and making your heartbeat spike unknowingly. He had in fact caught you in an embarrassing position even if he had scene every nook and cranny of your body by now. He didn't seem too bothered though, something else was on his mind. And Isagi spoke before you could.

"Something up, bro?"

"Nothing. Midfield play was amazing. Some of the guys on my team messed up some of the goals though. Had to take the brunt of that loss as the captain. I was up against Nagi's team today."

You feel a chill run up your spine when you hear that name. You two had hooked up. But it was only once, probably a year ago now, before Bachira happened and the both of you were drunk out of your minds. Nagi's poor aftercare was enough reason for you to leave first thing in the morning, leaving him butt naked and with a few notes of cash stuck in his buttcrack as thanks for the one orgasm you fingered out of yourself when he came too early and slept off.

"Hey, don't feel too low." Isagi said. "At least, when it comes to Nagi."

"I was one more 'your play is boring' comment away from kicking him in the nuts." Bachira said, rubbing the back of his neck and crouching down beside the bed to twirl a strand of your hair. "How you doing, babe?"

You felt so sorry for him when you saw his puppy like eyes. You knew exactly what he needed, and you knew he wouldn't dare to ask because he assumed this was your quality time with Isagi.

"Megu-chan, do you want to do it?" you offered generously and saw Meguru turn red.

"Wh-Huh-W-Well you're... I thought you were busy with Isagi and so." Meguru stuttered, clearly embarrassed.

"Come up," you said, guiding his head to lay on your chest. You lifted up your shirt to expose your breasts to him and both Bachira and Isagi started at your soft mounds in awe.

"Meguru likes to suck on them when he's down." you explain to Isagi as he looks on curiously. "Go on, Megu." and with your permission, Meguru latches on to one of your breasts and starts suckling like a baby. You let one hand remain on Isagi's neck and caress Meguru's head with the other. "Where were we?" you ask as Isagi hesitantly continues kissing your neck. You now have pleasure ebbing at you from two different spots on your body. Meguru's mouth is relentless as he gropes one of your breasts and sucks the life out of the other one. Isagi on the other hand has a tight grip on your jaw and alternates between your neck and your mouth with his hungry kisses. Soon, your thighs grow weak, and you feel wetness gather in your nether regions. You moan into Isagi's mouth, and he breaks the kiss to look at you and then at Bachira.

"Okay, enough." Isagi says irritably, trying to pry Meguru's lips off your nipples, earning angry whines from the boy. "Pass her to me. It's my turn now." Isagi says, descending onto your chest and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. You watch Bachira stare at the two of you while biting his lip. There seemed to be some uneasiness in his pants. You beckoned him to stand up and drop his pants for you to inspect.

"Looks like you're hard already, Meguru." you smile at his embarassed red face as he hides his boner with his hands. "I-I got carried away."

You start stroking his length gingerly. He has a pretty one, medium sized, curvy, thin - quite soft. Thin green veins running all along it. It's the curve that you love the most though, reaches some wicked places inside you after all. You start pumping his length soon enough as Isagi notes all of this. This special attention you give Bachira always. He used to consider it a given for being the dommest of the three but now he craves for more. He grabs your wrist and slides it onto his hard shaft instead, staring at you intently.

"I said I want to have her now." he commands. "That means no Bachira for a few minutes, understood?"

"Don't steal my girl like you steal my ball on the court, Isagi." Bachira cuts through and gently places his length in your mouth, holding your chin.

You love it. Love it! The two men you crave for the most fighting over who gets you.

"Y/N. If you divert your attention from my c*ck for even a second, you don't get to cum tonight, do you understand?" he asks, placing his own hand on your grip his hard on. You nod at him eagerly, mouth already full of Bachira's c*ck. You take a look at Isagi's. It stands tall and very straight. A bit above average. Two very large blue veins and a smaller tip.

You start taking the two men like a champ. One of them moans and whines while thrusting his body into your mouth while the other sighs and groans, whimpering occasionally as his manhood lies in the mercy of your fist. You are able to maintain this pace well until Bachira grabs your hair and makes you turn towards his c*ck, diverting your attention there.

"My Pass. Now give your all here like a good girl." he says, panting and lazily. Bachira?!! Was this your subby Bachira?

"I will cum on you first." Bachira declares but Isagi won't let him have that.

"Sorry, she's busy." he says, grabbing you altogether and pinning you on the bed, caging you such that he acts like a barrier between you and Bachira. You make doe eyes at Bachira and mouth a 'sorry'.

"I am so ruining you tonight-" Isagi starts but Bachira is already pushing at his chest. "Hey, you thief. Get off, she's mine!"

"She's mine. She had her first squirt with me!" Isagi yells back.

"No. That was with me. What did you do even? Can't compare to my tongue."

"HAH?? Don't make me make you suck my c*ck!" Isagi screamed.

"Like hell! In your dreams!"

You let their drama unfold as you patiently removed the rest of your clothing and waited for them coyly. When they noticed you sat there undressed, both their hands went to their own clothes. Bachira beat Isagi by a second and jumped on you.

"I am doing you first!" he said excitedly. You eye Isagi apprehensively.

"Fine, Meguru get's to pick where he wants to put it in first." you declare, winking at Isagi. That sets him off. He picks you up by your thighs and seats you down on his angry hard on, eliciting a thunderous moan from you.

"You sucker!" Bachira yells out, scrambling like a panther and positioning himself. He enters you in the same hole as Isagi, making your eyes bulge out from pain and pleasure.

"She said she wanted me to pick!"

You let them fight over you yet again as you got drunk in the pleasure of being double penetrated. Bachira from the front and Isagi from the back. Fortunately, they kept thrusting in and out as they bantered, not in sync, always keeping you on the edge of what will come next. You were so overwhelmed, you put your arms around Bachira's shoulder for support and Isagi yanked you by your hair.

"Not him, before me." he whispered darkly into your ear.

"You dumbass, she's hurting!" Bachira scolded Isagi, embracing you and rubbing your back.

"I-I'm-" you lean back and bump into Isagi, pushing your tongue into his mouth as you twisted your neck around. "Do it harder, Yoichi! Only you can."

That was enough motivation for Isagi to pick you off of Bachira's c*ck and go full force into you, making you bounce on his lap as he thrusted upwards, gritting his teeth and hissing. Bachira didn't want to give up in any way possible though, so he swooped down and started his assault on your clit.

The two men worked relentlessly to make a sludge out of your brain and your innards. Your eyes rolled back as you yelped and came violently right into Bachira's open mouth. You couldn't tell if it was his doing or Yoichi's.

Yoichi didn't stop though. He kept up with his pace while Bachira retracted, savoring your juice and licking it off his chin. Isagi positioned himself so that he attacked you sweet spot and you came yet again, this time spraying fluid everywhere. Especially on Bachira's face and chest.

"Yes!" Bachira exclaimed. "Do all that hardwork and I get all of Y/N's output!" he mocked Isagi.

"Well, don't you worry. Y/N gets mine." Isagi smirked, pulling out of you as you plop to the bed and positions his tip at your mouth.

"Drink up." he says, emptying all his cum onto your welcoming tongue.

"Mmmm." you moaned as you took the thick, creamy substance in, swishing it around with your tongue and blowing bubbles in it. As you came down from your orgasm, and sucked on your finger, completely deranged, you saw something unexpected take place.

Bachira, who was a tad bit taller than Isagi pushed him down into the bed.

"And this is for you." he said, pumping his curvy cock next to Isagi's face as Isagi prepared for the impact with a snarl. As Isagi closed his eyes, Bachira dumped all of his seed onto Isagi's face.

You gawked at them in awe, disbelief, amusement, what not.

BACHIRA?

MEGURU BACHIRA? Your sweet, subby, 'I'll eat you out, that's all' boy?

"Come here." he motioned for you to get closer and you scrambled towards him from your place on the bed.

"Put whatever's in your mouth back into his." he demanded, holding your arm. You took one look at Isagi. He seemed to be in a daze, face covered in cum. From the orgasm or from what Bachira did, who knows. Initially, you refused Bachira's demand as you wanted Yoichi's cum to yourself.

"Do it, and I'll give you something better baby." he said, stroking your cheek. So you went for it. Dumping all of Isagi's cum and your saliva right back into his mouth. Return Gift with interest.

You turned to Bachira now.

"Good girl. Now lick my jizz off his face and swallow it right up, honey." he said with his chirpy voice, pointing to Isagi's face.

You were appalled at how you never knew about this side of Bachira. and you were extremely pleasantly surprised.

You proceeded to exactly as he said and licked all of Bachira's cum off of a still dazed Isagi's face. Gulping it down readily.

"That's my girl." Bachira complimented you, while placing a soft kiss on your lips.

"Ahhh! I feel better already!" he stretched out, backing down and laying on the bed, pulling you to lay atop him. The both of you turned an eye to Isagi who was passed out beside you.

"Mate has no stamina I see." Meguru joked and you chuckled.

"Guess he's only good at passing on the field then." you said, playing with Meguru's hair.

"Oh he isn't." Meguru corrected you. "I am."

"If I don't pass, Isagi can't win. If I don't set it up for him, he can't please you. Symbiosis."

"That's why you let me be with him then." you said, gasping. "Meguru, I didn't know you were crafty like that."

"Don't ever forget who's the boss now." he said, giving you his signature playful wink.

[gamergguk]

Sleep Sex - K.TH

genre - smut

pairing - slight dom¡taehyung X fem¡reader

insights - nsfw; kissing; intense sexual themes; slight impatience; consensual; established relationship; sleep sex [none of this is an actual indication of the idol considered and is just a pure form of imagination. Simply click off if you are not comfortable with such imagines]

words - 984

-------------------------------------------------------

Taehyung began to drawn in the air through his dry lips as his chest heaved up and down ever so slightly. Not only his lips but his entire throat felt dry, or more precisely he felt the thirst that ran in his veins.

He nodded his head in displease as he turned on the tap. Splashing some cold water on his face, he looked back into the mirror clutched ahead.

It was two in the night and Taehyung had one of the most sensual dreams. Everything in his dream just arose him. He had a desire to wake you up but then knowing you were tired from the long day you had he decided to ignore his allures.

He thought a cold splash of water would drown away his craving. But undoubtedly, it didn't. He left out a long sigh before rubbing his wet face with his palms as he stepped out of the bathroom.

His eyes fell over at you. You laid there in your lingerie as the humidity barely let you sleep. Your body shimmered as if he calling him in. He nibbled his lower lip between his teeth as the wildest thought crossed his mind.

He had your consent. You both wanted to try it. So what if he just...f*cked you? Not like you would mind, since you both had talked about it a lot of time and you always seemed more excited than him. A surprise would do you good.

He stepped towards the bed and softly got over it. He placed his hand on your lower waist to place you facing upwards. You were in deep sleep to let his subtle movements disturb you.

First, he placed his hand on your breast. Slowly starting to massage your right one. His eyes just observing of how your lips parted just slightly.

He passed his tongue over his lower lip before pulling you out of the bra. He bent down a little to let his lips touch your chest. He began to softly suck over.

Your body now squirmed under his touch as subtle whimpers left your lips. You felt like you were in a wet dream. “I just can't f*cking wait baby,” he whispered against your skin and he kissed your collarbone a little.

He pulled down your briefs with the hook of his fingers. You were soaked. A little chuckle left his lips as he knew his wet dream was now yours.

He pressed his cold finger over your cl!t and slowly rubbed it back and forth. Your wetness just heightened more and your eyebrows furrowed.

Seeing you squirm more than before, Taehyung slowed his action. He wanted you to wake up, but not just yet. He had given very specific attention to your k!nk when you explained it to him.

He wanted you to wake up with him inside you. “My pretty girl Y/N, ” he lightly whispered as he leaned down to leave some wet kisses on your inner thigh leading up to your sensitivity.

He lightly passed his tongue over and you just shivered. Your body was heated up. Sweat beads formed on your forehead. Your breath uneven.

“My darling” he pulled down his boxers. He stroked his length a few times before placing it at your entrance. He pushed it in unhurriedly. Though it was your k!nk, still, he knew it was better to be gentle since you weren't aroused consciously.

Your were eyes slightly opened as you felt your walls being stretched. “T-taehyung?” you whimpered out as your hands slightly gripped the sheets underneath.

Your eyes still adjusting to the dimness of the room. He pushed himself all the way making you arch your back at the sudden wave of ecstasy. He leaned down to touch his forehead against yours.

“Baby I r-really needed your help, b-but you were asleep” he stuttered as his hormones were going wild. He had an intense need to reach his high.

“C-can I p-please?” you looked into his pleading eyes. You bit your lower lip as you saw him so desperate above you. “F-faster?” you blinked and he smirked.

He began to move in and out. His movements fast but gentle at the same time. His hand intertwined with yours and he pinned them above your head. Lewd moans started to leave your lips.

Your eyes rolled back as the pleasure made you see cloud nine. Something about this had you extremely turned on. Your body lazily trembled.

“Baby, try to keep your voice low, okay?” he said as he leaned backward after kissing your lips. He placed his one hand on your thighs and pushed them wider. He began to thrust again and this time he hit your spot. You whined loud in a raspy voice. His deep moans merged with yours.

Both of you drowned in pleasure. Your voice is just loud enough. Not too loud to wake up your neighbors. “You feel so good,” he said as his thrusts grew deeper.

“T-tae I am c-close” you cried out as you shut your eyes close. “Just h-hold in f-for m-minute” he began to hit your spot harder and harder with his every thrust. He was achieving his climax.

Just after a minute, both of you came. He fell beside you. Your chests heaved up and down. The noise of you both breathing was crystal clear in the room. “I didn't know today was the day,” you said as you turned around to face him.

A little smile on your face. He turned to you. His almond eyes fixed on yours. “Well I don't f*ck and tell” you chuckled at his words before he leaned forward to lay his lips over yours. His arms taking you in his embrace.

[gukiefics]

When your husband's second wife insults you in front of him; JJK🐰; gukiefics_ at ig

Pairings: prince! Jeon Jungkook× queen!reader

Genre: angst, royal, monarchy.

Warning: mentions abuse, kidnapping, slapping, forced marriage, degradation of reader.

Word count: 1k words, 5,295 characters

Song to match the vibe:

Part 1

Finishing her royal duties for the day, Y/n was sitting on her couch and relaxing. Or that was what the people who saw her thought. But no one knew, Y/n was glaring at the couple who was a few metres away from her, her husband and his second pregnant wife. Hatred and disgust filled her eyes, when she saw the sight of them kissing. She was against his second marriage from the very first second his mother or should I say her mother in law suggested. Because she thought a royal heir should be born from a royal blood, indirectly insulting you for being a royal's guard daughter. But why was it her fault? Why is she the one being insulted and hated? She never wanted to marry the king in the first place. He kidnapped and forced her for marriage. He threatened her that he would kill her family and sell her to a womaniser. You didn't have any choice.

The reason why she was against his second marriage was because even though there was no love in your marriage, she wanted respect. She at least wanted herself to be respected by the people. But no, when his mother suggested that he almost immediately agreed. Of course what can she expect from a womaniser himself? He was never once a good king for the kingdom, how can she expect him to be a good husband? Thank goodness at least she didn't give herself to her husband. She felt disgusted whenever the king touched her, even though it was just a simple gesture. Of course who won't? Before her he has touched many women in a very intimate manner on his own marriage bed. But thanks to her husband, she made a few friends (mostly animals) in the royal palace and they surely helped her a lot with her stress. She didn't have any plans to have a romantic relationship with anyone but this one man has been troubling her heart for a very long time now.

It was none other than her husband's brother, the prince, Jeon Jungkook. Both the brothers were very different from each other. One was a complete a**hole who has f*cked every single maiden in the kingdom except you and another one was a complete gentleman who knew how to treat and respect women and actually every being. His gentleness and sweet personality can easily swoon a woman in his embrace.

"Ah there you are my highness, I have been searching for you." His sweet melodic voice immediately made her stomach filled with the entire zoo. Blushing a little, she turned around to meet his brown adorable doe eyes. "Any serious matter, prince Jungkook?" "Your highness, you promised me a game of chess today if I can remember. And I think that's a serious matter." He pretended to be serious but soon broke into a big laugh between you two. "Ahh but seriously Y/n, you promised me a game today and I have done all my royal duties for today and I am sure you are Done with that too." He whined, making her giggle. "Yah! Are you making fun of me? I was so excited to play with the kingdom's chess queen." He pouted. "Aigoo kook, you are so cute." She pinched his cheeks. She didn't know she hallucinated or really Jungkook blushe.He ordered the maids to set up for the game and soon both of them were facing each other, only the Chess board table separating them. The game started and it was a very interesting sight for the audience around them. It was a completely tough game because the prince was as equally good as the queen.

But yeah, if it wasn't for luck he could have won but the queen was sharp enough to foresee his technique and she won. "Yes! I won!" The queen rose up from her seat in delight from her victory. The prince should have been a little disappointed because he lost but instead of feeling that, he felt he had won the world, seeing the queen smiling and laughing so brightly. If he was able to see her face decorated with a bright smile, he could lose a million games. "Oh look like someone is very happy about her little victory of a stupid game." She turned around to see her so-called co-wife of her husband with a sly smile. "Oh good evening Chaeyon, please to see you here." She gave her a fake smile but Chaeyon rolled her eyes in annoyance,not even trying to hide her disrespect to the queen.

"Queen Chaeyon, I suggest you show some respect to Y/n. She is the first queen-" "And? Please, Prince Jungkook. Why are you even taking her sight?" "Because she is the queen and the first wife of the king, my brother." Jungkook felt hurt saying those words. Even though he was trying to convince Chaeyon, he felt he was trying to convince himself so that he could stay within his limit. She rolled her eyes again and Y/n wished her eyeballs would get stuck in her head cause she rolled her eyes plenty.

"Is she prince Jungkook? But for me she would always be a servant girl who seduced my husband to get the queen position or why do you think my husband would marry a cheap girl like him?" She smirked. All the maids around her gasped, very much surprised by her attitude. Everyone in the palace knew how the king forced the queen to marry him. Y/n couldn't stand the disrespect anymore. She turned around Chaeyon and gave her a tight slap. The audience was proud of your action but..

"What the f*ck you think you are doing?" Everyone turned around and saw the king, boiling with anger.

Part 2 soon

[sleepy-toast23]

Boyfriend Headcannons(?) for season 4 & 5 Chuck Shurley

(nsfw and sfw will be seperated)

(this is mostly weirdness and nonsense mixed in with headcannons. A LOT OF THIS IS VERY STRANGE/CRACK SHIT IG? IDK WHAT ELSE TO CALL IT)

(this is for the few remaining Chuck fans out there, season 11 & 15 versions will come out soon- since chuck has changed drastically every season qǝɔɐnsǝ ʇɥǝ ʍɹᴉʇǝɹs ɐɹǝ ɟnɔʞᴉuƃ ᴉuǝdʇ ɐup ɥɐʌǝ dɹoʌǝu ᴉʇ ʇᴉɯǝ ɐup ʇᴉɯǝ ɐƃɐᴉu. Stay strong fellow Chuck fans😔)

(enjoy)

SFW:

He will never admit to it, but he really loves bing cuddled and smooched

Like- REALLY loves it.

If you want that pretty necklace for Valentine's day and he says no

Just give him a hug and a smooch on the cheek (effectiveness increased if you use puppy eyes)

He'll be putty in your hands.

And his credit card will be out in milliseconds

He's lazy. There's no way around it.

So hope you don't mind doing a lot of chores

He's extremely thankful though

He reminds you how thankful he is every night and day with little gifts, kisses, and even making you breakfast

"what would I do without you, (Y/N)?"

"I love you so, 𝙨𝙤 much"

His kisses tickle cause of his beard

He uses this to his advantage often

Too often for your liking

You tell him he's your lazy little teddy bear

He's offended. How dare you.

You kiss him on the cheek

*The attack was effective, Chuck became confused*

He makes an alright income from his book series

You have been working on him with issues regarding his drinking habits

He wants to change for you. But it's hard for him.

You understand that, and appreciate that he's even making an effort

You've been making him do more chores recently

This includes his own laundry, buying groceries, and helping with meal preperation

How chuck stayed so thin you have no idea

He isn't very active at all

He has a mild dad bod at most

Good thing we love dad bods here🥰

You opened the window one morning and he whimpered and covered his eyes.

Man has not seen the sun in a while.

Chuck is genuinely making a change though

You've gotten him to come on jogs with you

You have to take l o t s of breaks for him

When he's writing, you like to sit behind him and correct his writing.

Tiny man, fragile ego

He gets flustered and angry and will nudge you away

Never hard though. He would never hurt you

You think it's absolutely adorable

His face is litteraly tomato red

When he passed out at his desk, it's up to you to carry him to the bed you share

The mornings after he always complains about pains other than in his head

You say it must be part of the hang over

𝙄𝙩𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙨, 𝙖��𝙙 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨

Big oops

He's heavy, what were you supposed to do!?

You never tell him the truth.

It's better you don't.

You know of his 'visions'

You didn't believe him at first-

Until you walked out one day and found him spazing out on the couch

You almost dialed 911, thinking he was having a seizure

He snapped out of it and explained that was just his visions

You called 911 anyway and asked for an ambulance

Can never be to sure when it comes to crazy drunk hermit boyfriends

Doctors said he was absolutely fine though.

You really started believing him when 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 showed up.

The winchester boys (and Cas!)

You don't like them around Chuck.

Dean threatened him with a gun once

You were ready to commit a war crime on a single human being

You will protect your lazy teddy at all cost

You have to admit though- seeing him being all tough and fighting demons and ghost is 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙤𝙩

You hated Becky.

You punched her at the supernatural con

No cap, you litteraly f#cked her sh#t up.

She got too close to Chuck

And was giving him googley eyes

Not on your watch

You watched Cas get obliterated by Raphael with Chuck.

You found a fingernail in your hair

*fingernailS

Chuck has told you the ending the day before it all went down

You were confused on why he forbid you to tell the brothers

You were upset, but he seemed serious about it

Nsfw:

Has had sex multiple times before you two even got together

Still acts like a virgin baby

You love walking into living room with no towel on after showering

Seeing his jaw drop is priceless

"(Y/N) is that... 𝙮𝙤𝙪..."

His size is incredibe

He's truely been blessed by God

Which makes sense, after all, he is a prophet.

He's very vocal in bed

It's absolutely adorble

Small whimpers and moans

He'll tell you how amazing you are to him

It's cheesy, but you can tell me means it

"fuck.. (Y/N).. I love you."

"you're so beautiful under me like this- not that you aren't Beautiful not under me😅"

"I'm the luckiest man in the world"

Actually well groomed down below

Uncircumcised

Cleans well though

At least he's not 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 lazy

Gentle lover

Slow and steady wins the race😏

Until you start screaming at him to speed up out of frustration

Totally into dominatrix

Watching and feeling you ride his cock is the hottest thing he's ever seen/felt

Willing to try most kinks

Will never be on the 'giving' side of BDSM though.

He doesn't have the heart to whip you or be rough with you like that, no matter how many times you tell him it's okay.

Both love & hates when you tease him

You'll stroke his cock til he's close to release- and than stop

He'll cry and beg for you to let him cum

You love to sit and watch him

You occasionally poke and stroke the tip to keep him stimulated and hard

It's pleasurable torture for him

When he blows his load- it's a 𝙝𝙚𝙛𝙩𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙙

Vanilla sex is still wonderful though

He is the God of aftercare

Is also a master of Oral.

That beard on your thighs is pure magic

Pet names. Pet names. Pet names!!

Kitten, love, darling, sweetheart, baby girl

Knows all your spots

The person writing these headcannons needs to go bathe in holy water now

[capricornsims]

Strangetown Mystery 16: Tycho

The last few months of Pascal’s life had changed drastically ever since Tycho was brought into the world. He never thought he could feel unconditional love like this until he met his son. There was something about Tycho that completed a piece that he was missing in his mundane life. Now he had a purpose and that was to protect and raise this extraterrestrial gift and prove to everyone that he was a good father. Ever since he started his investigation in the [Redacted] lab along with his work at the Bunker, his time with Tycho was greatly limited. His encounter with the Mother plant instilled a fear in him that he never felt before, as though if he continued fighting he would never see his son again. He assured himself that everything he was doing at the lab along with his dangerous endeavors would be worth it in the end. The last thing Pascal wanted was for his son to grow up in this toxic world, shunned for his existence and locked away in a secret lab. Yes, he thought ... he was doing the right thing. 

....right?

Vidcund swiftly made his way out of the [Redacted] lab, Pascal’s investigation preoccupied him for the most part, rarely seeing the infant alien he kept hidden in his room. After the Mother Plant was discovered, his older brother wasted no time going back to the Bunker to continue his research on the bizarre plants, not even taking a break to see how Tycho was doing. All of this worked in his favor, The Dudes in Black were waiting for him at the house after all, with a brief case full of money waiting to be put into his bank account. This was probably one of the most morally bankrupt things he’d ever done, but at this point refusing to aid the Dudes in Black would be even more dangerous. All the Dudes in Black requested was one Sixamian alien baby, for $500,000. 

Vidcund: Well here he is, we call him Tycho and he’s turning five months soon. 

Dude in Black 1: Fine specimen you have there, from one look I can determine that it belongs to Pollination Technician #12 am I not correct? 

Vidcund: I don’t know, I wasn’t abducted yet. My brother, Pascal, made this one.

Dude in Black 1: PT12 is ...particular about their spawn, weaponizing them with extreme telekinetic powers. What you are holding is a very dangerous specimen, which I shall take off your hands. As Promised $500,000 will be deposited into your bank account, Vidcund Curious. 

Vidcund: Oh man...well I think it’s for the better, Pascal is too busy to take care of him anyways. 

Dude in Black 1: Yes you are doing him a favor, now hand over the infant.

Vidcund: It was nice knowing you, Tycho, I’m sure Pascal can just ask for another one if he gets abducted again.

Dude in Black 1: Yes he can. Now hand it over I have urgent matters to attend to. Oh, and tell Pascal that the Dudes in Black say hello.

Without saying so much as a goodbye, the Dude in black tucked Tycho under his arm and walked out door. If Vidcund had a hint of rationality left he would rush after the agent and pry Tycho out of his hands. But he didn’t, Vidcund watched as they disappeared in the distance, into the unknown expanse of the desert. 

The house was silent for a moment as Vidcund stood in the center, taking in the uncharacteristic silence. All he could hear was his rapid heart  beating in his ears and feel the sweat in his palms. He froze when he heard tires screech outside and the sound of Pascal’s voice approaching the house. “ I’ll see you tomorrow, Erwin” he said....Vidcund was f*cked. He didn’t even think of a cover story despite planning this weeks in advance! The door unlocked and Vidcund was face to face with his brother, smiling widely at him “ I think I got it. A way to combat the Mother!” He said enthusiastically. Vidcund could only nod with a weary smile plastered on his face, he knew that Pascal’s optimism was due to be short lived. Pascal pushed passed him and rushed into his room to see his baby, finally having the time to spend with Tycho...

Pascal: Tycho you won’t believe what just happened at work! 

Vidcund: ( oh my watcher...what have I done? ) Pascal! Wait! 

Pascal: TYCHO!!!

Pascal: Tycho... Where did you? Oh no...oh no no no no no no This ISN’T HAPPENING.

Pascal: This can’t be happening.. HE was HERE this morning! I fed him this morning... I...He was here.... I WAS HERE!  he’s not under the bed...no he can’t even crawl...no no no no no. 

Pascal: This..THIS IS ALL MY FAULT! If I wasn’t so busy in the lab... trying to find out the goddamn cure...trying to fight the mother... if...I just stood here for one day and actually looked after Tycho he would still be here.

He would still be here... if I was a good father. Tycho where are you!

Pascal spend the next hour tearing through the house to find any clue of where Tycho went, from under the bed, Lazlo’s laundry, and the cabinets. The house was left in an absolute wreck once he finished his emotional rampage, too exhausted to continue. He crumbled to his knees and broke down crying once more until his throat strained and his eyes were sore. He wiped off his glasses and stumbled outside in an attempt to find comfort in fresh air. The plants and the spores around him only served as a cruel reminder why his son had suddenly vanished...it was because of this Strangetown Syndrome, it took away his family, his time, his friend and his baby.

But he couldn’t just blame himself, he spent all the money he had for Tycho’s care and the one person who said that they would look after him managed to lose him. The sound of footsteps broke the silence of the desert and Pascal turned to see his brother standing pathetically behind him. He was so weak and feeble looking like a dog with its tail between its leg. He could practically smell the guilt emitting from Vidcund. The more he gazed at him, he could feel his blood boiling, his face tensed with rage as he snapped.  

Vidcund: Pascal I- 

Pascal: DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT YOU ARE SORRY, VIDCUND. 

Vidcund: I’m - I don’t know what else to say.

Pascal: THEN DON’T OPEN YOUR STUPID MOUTH IF ITS SOME LAME EXUSE AS TO WHY MY INFANT SON IS MISSING! YOU. HAD. ONE. JOB!!

Vidcund: Now take a deep breath. I was in the basement working. I had the baby monitor right next to me the whole time 

Pascal: AND YOU LEFT HIM ALONE! YOU LEFT TYCHO ALONE!

Pascal: Do you have any Idea what world we are living in, Vidcund? He’s just a baby, he only just started eating solids. I put all that I had into Tycho and made sure that he was taken care of. Physically, mentally, spiritually! He is all that made me whole...Watcher it feels like someone just dug into my rib cage and tore a piece of me out. 

You cry about Circe all the time now imagine that pain 10,000x more. This is real, Vidcund, I can’t just take a deep breath and make this better!

Pascal: Watcher- What if something bad got him. What if he’s sold on the black market and vivisected... I can’t imagine that...what if he’s hungry. I have all his formula here. What if they don’t sing to him that lullaby...it’s the only thing that gets him to sleep....they forgot his bear...I- I- can’t.

Vidcund could only watch as Pascal’s expression fell from rage, his eyes gazed down at the sand as he imagined all the cruel scenarios Tycho could be in, tears streaking down his cheeks again as he tried to speak. He tried to say something else but he was too focused on looking around his surroundings that he completely disregarded his brother and the rage he felt a second before. His breathing became rapid as his chest weighed heavily against his lungs. The world was growing so blurry as he tried to breathe. He thought he heard Vidcund say something as he turned his heel and sprinted down the sidewalk. It was  all he could do.  

What was he doing, running until his legs burned, trying to find another living being that had not had their brains rotted by spores. For the first time he felt helpless, the weight of the world weighed on his shoulders along with freeing his family, and finding his friend Nervous. Above all now he had to find his baby. Who knows where he could have been taken in a climate like this. 

Where ever Tycho was, Pascal prayed that he was safe, somewhere that he would be fed and changed and taken care of for the time being. 

The swirling clouds of the spores towered in the air as Pascal stood in the middle of the barren road, taking in the immense responsibility he had put on himself. He knew he wasn’t alone on his mission but as the days wore on he felt doubt take over his morale along with his team’s. He needed to put an end to all of this. He didn’t know how much he could hold on. 

Pascal: Where ever you are, Tycho. I will find you even if it kills me. 

[ne0sgotmyback]

Fake dating II part 4 II Wong Yukhei

see masterlist for part 1-3

fashion designer ! wong yukhei x florist ! reader

It has been a few weeks since your high school reunion when Yukhei texts you without any warning. But since you are at work, you decided to ignore the text for now. You will deal with it later, atleast that was your plan. With every passing minute you get more curious, wondering why he would even text you after three weeks with no contact. With your mind not at your work you cut yourself instead of the flower’s stem. ‘y/n, what happened? You are usually not this clumsy. What is on your mind?’ your boss asks your concerned. Your boss is an older lady who’s love for flowers is almost bigger than the love for her husband. You answer her question it’s nothing and you are just a bit tired. ‘You know what, you can get five minutes of to get a band-aid and ease your mind. So you do as your told, going into the back of the shop to get a band-aid and a glass of water. Your curiosity got the best of you and after aiding your finger you decide to unlock your phone and up the text Yukhei sent you.

Hii,

Lucas here. Do you remember me talking to Kun at the reunion? Well he was willing to invest in my fashion line. But he still thinks we are dating, so he invited the two of us over for dinner. Are you willing to help me out? If not I can just tell him we broke up.

Let me know what you think

Bye

Not knowing what to respond to this you just leave him on read and decide to text him back when you finish work. So after finishing your glass of water you go back in to the shop, helping your boss making a few bouquets.

It has been a long day at work when you arrive home. After finishing the bouquets for the next day, another order came in for four more bouquets. You offered to stay overtime and finish the bouquets, since your boss is a bit older and you don’t want her to overwork herself. So when you finally open te door to your apartment you just want to go to bed. But as you enter the living room you see Da-hee sitting on your couch and as you want to ask her what she’s doing her, you notice Ten walking out the kitchen. ‘Hey y/n, how are you? We thought it was time to have a small get together. We missed you, our hard working girl,’ Ten excitedly explains why they are at your apartment. Setting down the glasses and bottle of water he was carrying. You just sighed and sat down next to Da-hee on the couch. ‘what’s with that sigh, my friend?’ Ten asks you curious.

‘I’m just very tired from working all week,’ you answer, forgetting about the text Lucas send you halfway during the day. You grab the bottle of water and fill your glass, gulping the water down in mere seconds. Da-hee follows your example and also fill her glass with water. Ten however grabs the remote from the television and puts on some show. ‘Do you guys want something to eat as well? I haven’t had dinner yet, so I will just make some ramen. Nothing special,’ you tell them and they shake their heads. They probably had dinner before going to your apartment. You get up from the couch and walk towards the kitchen. While making the ramen your hear some screaming from the couch.

‘y/n! why didn’t you tell me this?’ Ten questions you about something you apparently should have told him. ‘Since when are you and Lucas texting?’ He screams excitedly, and that is when you remember the text you were still supposed to answer. You hurry to the couch making sure you can get your phone back from Ten. You see another text

Okay, I knew this was a onetime thing. But leaving me on read, when I ask a favor back is a bit low y/n. I hope you know that.

‘F*ck!’ you scream not explaining anything to Ten and Da-hee. You sigh and fall down on the couch, your head in Da-hee’s lap. She just starts stroking your hair to calm you down. ‘Guys, I f*cked up,’ You then see and Ten starts laughing. In between his laughs you can make out that he grabbed your phone and saw Yukhei’s text. ‘Ten! Stop laughing,’ you whine, feeling really bad for yourself.

‘I’m sorry, but this is hilarious and such a Lucas thing to do.’

‘Well since you know him so good, why don’t you help me?’ getting a bit angry with Ten for only laughing at you. Atleast Da-hee is trying to comfort you even though she still doesn’t know what happened. ‘now please hand me back my phone.’

‘Okay,’ Ten answers and hands you your phone back. Since you are feeling so bad for yourself you don’t want to explain what happened to Da-hee, so you just hand her your phone. She looks at you confused but your eyes tell her to read the texts.

‘Okay, I think your reaction was a bit too much. You can just tell him you forgot to answer since you were busy at work. I don’t think it’s that bad,’ Da-hee comforts you after reading the texts. She also starts typing immediately. Within a minute she shows you the text she thought out. You read it over.

Hii,

I’m sorry for not replying earlier. I was very busy at work and when I read your text a costumer came in and it stayed busy after that. To answer your first text, I think the least I can do is going to that dinner. How is your fashion line working out so far, do you have any options for me to buy?

Bye

‘Thank you so much girlie!’ you scream at Da-hee and click send. Afterwards you give your friend a tight hug and put your phone away. ‘No it’s time to have fun,’ you tell your friends excitedly and your evening with a lot of laughing and drinking starts.

It’s been almost two weeks since Yukhei had texted you about Kun wanting to meet the both of you again and you have been texting every day since. It started out as getting to know each other more, so nothing weird could happen, but now you actually enjoy it. Right now you are at work, but when you get off in an hour or so, Yukhei will be here to pick you up. You have a change of clothes in your bag, so you can change out of your work clothes at the shop.

Hii, I will be a bit earlier to pick up a bouquet for Kun and his girlfriend. Is that okay?

You read the text Yukhei just send you, you just answer his text with a thumbs up emoji. Then the bell rings announcing there is new costumer in the shop. ‘Hello! How can I help you?’ you question the costumer and start picking out a bouquet. After this costumer a few other costumers also come in. Up until five minutes before closing time it’s pretty busy in the shop. You sigh cleaning everything as fast as possible. Just before it’s closing time your hear the bell again.

‘Hello? y/n?’ you hear Yukhei ask. Relieved it’s not another costumer you answer him that you still need to clean. ‘no problem, take your time. Just know that I still need to have a bouquet, so if you can request anything that would be great,’ Yukhei casually lets you know and sits down on the stairs that are next to the counter.

‘Yeah yeah, I remember. I have them ready in the back. Just need to clean and count the sales and then after I changed we can go. You answer starting the cleaning process. Yukhei walks to you and takes over the vacuum cleaner. Cleaning the floor, you thank him and go to the counter to count the sales you had today. After cleaning and counting you quickly go to the back of  the shop and change into your outfit for the night. Nothing special, a white blouse and black jeans. It still looks classy, but it doesn’t look like you tried to hard. When facing Yukhei you notice his eyes on your body. ‘let’s go, before we are too late,’ you say trying to avoid his eyes. Yukhei nods and opens the door for you, since you are holding the bouquet. He follows after you, until you realize you can’t find his car.

‘Hello Yukhei, nice to see you. Good to see you brought your girlfriend along,’ Kun beams at you two. Yukhei enthusiastically hugs him, while you shake his hand respectfully. He is still a older than you, can’t forget to show him respect. ‘how are you guys?’ Kun then continues to ask while looking at you. As if he knows Yukhei’s answer already.

‘we are good. I just finished work so Yukhei picked me up to join the diner. It is nice seeing you again,’ you respond friendly but with manners. Kun just smiles, apparently content with your answer. He does tell you, that his girlfriend Ji-su is going to be late. She got hold up at work, but you don’t mind it. Since was one of the bullies at your high school.

After ordering and some more small talk, Ji-su arrived at the restaurant. She instantly looked shocked, as if she didn’t realize you would join the dinner. ‘Hi baby, how was work?’ Kun asks her as he places a quick kiss on her lips after she sat down at the table. She answered telling it was a lot, but it was also still fun.

‘what do you do for work?’ you decide to ask her, showing her you could be the mature one. Feeling slightly scared by her stare at you, you look down. Your hands fumbling with the ring on your finger. Yukhei notices and grabs your hand under the table. Hoping the other two wouldn’t notice your anxiety.

‘I work as a nurse at the hospital. I hope to become one of the head surgeons some time in the future. But what about you, what kind of work do you do?’ She asks you weirdly curious. You expected her to say something about not getting to know it at the reunion, but somehow she doesn’t.

‘I am a florist, I work at a local flower shop,’ you answer her question.

‘Oh really? That is so amazing! You must see a lot of different people every day. Each of them requesting something different for you. Must be pretty difficult,’ she mocks you and your job. You just sigh and nod your head, being used to it. Yukhei however doesn’t enjoy it and looks at Kun accusingly. Who notices the animosity between the two of the girls as well and tries to minimalize it.

‘She is right. I think it is a hard job y/n, not everybody can do it and a lot of people underestimate it. I mean, I know I couldn’t make a bouquet look pretty,’ he soothes everything down a bit. And everyone let’s out a little chuckle at his remark.

‘So while the girls catch up with each other. Shall we talk about fashion?’ Kun continues his conversation with Yukhei. As if Ji-su heard it as well she ask you a few question about your job and the place you live in. But she also asks about Yukhei and how things are going, if you are living together, or planning on getting married. You surprise yourself and answer all her question without any anger, and most of them even honestly. When she gets to the questions about Yukhei you start doubting your answers, what would someone in love say. But since Ji-su is interested in your answers, you can’t dodge the questions. Which means you got to think about them.

‘you know, that is a good question Ji-su. I don’t immediately know what I would say is Yukhei’s best feature. And do you mean like personality wise or appearance wise?’ you answer Ji-su’s question.

‘You can answer both, and I know it’s a good question. I asked it,’ she answer laughing softly.

‘it’s my humor, of course,’ Yukhei saves you once again laughing at his own joke. You just nod in agreement and look at him. You notices the sparkles in his eyes, it makes it look like he really does enjoy this dinner. Well he should, he is talking about his fashion line. But deep down you know, you hope it is something more. You hope he enjoys your company.

‘you are indeed very funny Lucas.’

‘thank you,’ Yukhei mutters a bit flustered. She seemed to be lowkey flirting with him, even with her boyfriend present. You sigh at her actions. Yukhei turns his head to you. ‘is there something wrong, babe?’ he questions your sigh. You shake your head and tell him you’ve got to use the bathroom.

Dinner with Kun and Ji-su was a success according to Yukhei. He seems over the moon with everything. You guess you would be too, if someone wants to invest in your clothing line. ‘y/n, I don’t want this to end yet. Do you want to come over to my apartment?’ he sing-songs his question to you. He did have a bit too much to drink, so maybe it would be safer for him and you if you would drive him home.

‘Yeah sure, why not. Shall I drive us?’

‘No! I can drive. I didn’t have that much to drink. You see, I can still walk in a straight line,’ he tells you walking in front of you. Indeed he did walk a straight line, without wobbling or stopping in between. Maybe he really didn’t have that much to drink. So you give him the benefit of the doubt, for now.

‘okay, you can drive. Where is your car?’ you ask. Yukhei doesn’t answer, instead he puts his arm around your shoulders. Leading you towards his car. he opens the door for you and you sit down in the car. he jogs around the car to the driver’s side and sits down as well. As he starts the engine, you realize you’re actually going to his apartment. You start to panic a bit, you didn’t think this through, if the both of you drink more alcohol you won’t be able to go home. But you also can’t stay at his place, what are you supposed to do now. Did Yukhei even think this through? Suddenly you feel his hand on your thigh, his thumb rubbing circling in order to try and calm you down. At least, that is what it did. How he knew you were stressed is still a mystery to you, but at least you calmed down. His hand remains on your thigh for the rest of the drive, except for when he needed to switch gears of course.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Retrospective: The Gift and the Curse

Brendan Fraser has seen a resurgence lately and i love every bit of that. Dude has been one of my favorite actors for decades. I’m an Eighties kid who grew up during the Nineties so i was right there when he came onto the scene. I was a massive fan f all of his early work; Bedazzled, George of the Jungle, Encino Man, Airheads, Blast from the Past, and even Monkeybone. Dude hit his stride right around the Aughts and then completely disappeared. We found out later it was because of some really f*cked up sh*t but he made it through and proved he still had with Robot Man on Doom Patrol. I’m so glad this guy got another shot at this movie star sh*t but i wanted to revisit the franchise that put him on the map: The Mummy.

The Mummy

I love this campy ass flick, man. I saw this one in the theaters because, at the time, i was super into CG. It had only been a few years since Jurassic Park blew that sh*t out the water and only a few months after The Matrix made everyone sh*t the bed. The Mummy just missed that window but it was still incredibly enjoyable. This was my Indiana Jones because i didn’t care about Indy for a long time. It’s not that they were bad movies, i was just too young to appreciate them. The Mummy came out right at the time i started to really understand why i liked cinema, what a good permanence truly was, and how beautiful a film could be. The Mummy covered almost all of those bases. Fraser did an excellent job as Rick O’Connor and Rachel Weisz stunned as Evelyn Carnahan. F*cking Evie, man. I was already a fan of Fraser but this movie made me really pay attention to Weisz and she became one of my favorite actresses. It helps tremendously that she is f*cking gorgeous! Rounding out the cast is John Hannah as Evie’s brother, Johnathan and Arnold Vosloo as the titular mummy, Imhotep. Also, i can’t not mention the scummiest of scumbags, Benny, portrayed so effortlessly by Kevin J. O'Connor.

I absolutely adore this film. It’s a not the best example of Nineties cinema, how can it be, and it’s a terrible remake of the original Universal Mummy but it does what it wants to do very well. I love the ideas and the world they built with this campy clusterf*ck. It shouldn’t work, it should be terrible, but it’s one of the funnest films i have ever seen. It has it’s issues, absolutely, but they are minor compared the non-stop action, the incredible cinematography, the dated but ambitious CG effects ,and solid performances from every principal actor. They really let Fraser do his thing and that energy carried over to the rest of the cast. Evie is every bit the bad ass as Sarah Connor or Ellen Ripley but is still a very girly-girl; Something that seems to be frowned upon nowadays. Imhotep id an unrelenting, vicious antagonist who controls powers from long ago, literally willing the seven plagues of Egypt into modern times. This movie is all over the f*cking place but it worse so well and every time i see it, i have as much fun as i did way back when i was a ripened fourteen years old.

The Mummy Returns

Boy, this one suffers terrible from Sequelitis. It does nothing new and is an almost exact retread of the first film but we have new characters and a new villain in the guise of... The Scorpion King! Yes, this is the first film that titular Arachno-Monarch makes his first appearance portrayed by a very young, very beefy, and later, very poorly rendered, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson! That’s right, long before he was Franchise Viagra, way before he was punching out Dom into a stalemate in them god awful Fast flicks, The Rock got his start here, in the sequel to The Mummy and he’s f*cking terrible! Oh my god, is he bad but it works. His awful, awful, performance fits right in with the utter camp of this ridiculous franchise ans, to no one’s surprise, i loved every second of it. Now, as much as i love The Rock in this thing, i have to absolutely give it to Patricia Velasquez as Meela Nais, the physical reincarnation of Imhotep’s regicide partner and f*ck-buddy, Anck-Su-Namun. I didn’t talk about her much in the entry about The Mummy but that as mostly because she was more a plot device rather than a character. She isn’t much else in this one either but at least we got to actually see her for more than ten minutes. Plus, that fight between her and Nefertiri was f*cking glorious. Sixteen year old Smokey appreciated the f*ck out of that.

The returning cast hits their points perfectly. That chemistry never falters. Fraser, Weisz, and Hannah are exceptional together and Vosloo is, somehow, both far more menacing and hilarious at the same time. There’s this scene toward the end where he is utterly defeated and it’s the funniest sh*t i have ever seen. I also really enjoy both Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay far more in this one than the last because he gets to do sh*t finally. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje was also a welcome surprise as  the muscle, Lock-Nah. Dude just kinds of stands around and i think he gets into a fight with Fehr that was pretty cool but a little trite. Obviously, as a film from the early Aughts, it has it;s problems. There’s a ton of culturally insensitive sh*t that Zoomers would probably be upset about but, you know, f*ck em. It’s like a sense f humor is illegal nowadays. That said, having Rachel Weisz, as gorgeous and half-naked as she is and was, portray an Egyptian is a little much nowadays. At least Patricia Velasquez is a type of Brown? An attempt was made. This thing is a mess and i enjoy every second of it. The Mummy Returns is substantially worse that the first but, at the same time, just so batsh*t that it is equally as entertaining. But f*ck that kid, though. Every time he’s onscreen all of the good times are thrown right out the goddamn window!

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

I gave this one the hard pass for years. It looked like trash. Like straight up dog sh*t. This thing came out seven years after Returns and i just didn’t care. I was one hundred percent in my hipster film snob era and couldn’t be bothered. For a full f*cking decade and some change. Seriously, i just watched this thing the day before yesterday. For the first time. It was the inspiration for this retrospective because, after seeing this train wreck, i went back to check out the first two just to get the taste of dogsh*t out of my mouth. There are several changes made to the formula that immediately take me out of this film. First, and most egregiously, no more Rachel Weisz! She didn’t come back for the third. The reason behind her absence has run the gambit from vanity, to scheduling conflicts, to literally never getting a script. I don;t really care why, all i know is that her absence was felt. Maria Bello did her best but she isn’t MY Evie. Another “choice” was to age up that awful f*cking kid into an awful f*cking adult. That’s right, this is a “passing of the torch flick” and Luke Ford’s Alex O'Connell was supposed to take over the franchise going forward. That didn’t happen because this is Rick’s franchise. The Mummy would be nothing without Fraser and the at was proven when this thing tanked. It wasn’t all bad though. I really liked the new mummy, Han. They did some really fin things with his abilities and Jet Li never once phoned in an action scene. Unfortunately, even with the strength of the brand and outstanding lead performances, this thing still sucks.

I had a time with Tomb but it wasn’t like the time i had with it’s predecessors. I don’t know if it’s because I'm so much older and hardened by life but all i see is the flaws in this one. It doesn’t have the nostalgia goggles like the first two so i can’t enjoy it like i enjoy those. I just see plot holes instead of camp. Bad CG instead of rustic attempt. Poor set pieces instead of Nineties jank. Bad character writing instead of unfortunately hilarious dialogue. Tomb isn’t terrible but it ain’t good wither. It;s mediocre and i know the first two aren’t great but they’re better than whatever this wanted to be. It’s weird to see because there are a lot of great ideas here. I can see the vision that lays outside the margins and it’s frustrating. Fraser does is in his element as Rick and Li’s Han is a physical powerhouse but that’s not enough. As awesome as this movie gets when those two are on screen, literally everything around them is dismissible and i don’t understand how or why. I think a lot of the chemistry was lost when the focus was shifted to Alex from Rick and the recasting of Eve really didn’t do this film any favors. However, even with all of my frustrations, i can’t say i had a terrible time with this thing. It was entertaining, if a little bogus.

[smokeybrand]

Going Native

Resident Evil Village is going to drop soon and, while i adore the RE franchise, I'm not going to partake in it just yet. Mostly because i don’t have a PS5 to properly indulge in all of it’s glory but moreso because i f*cking hate first person shooters. Always have, always will. They’re crazy disorienting and take me out of the immersion. There are a few exceptions but only because i don’t actually play any of them. I watch them being played, which is here this come in. RE VIII has been one of the best titles to actually see played, most because i f*cking love this story. Game play stuff is also an upgrade over the previous title, cribbing a great deal from RE IV, everyone’s favorite but mine, so i can see this game doing gangbusters. Also, it’s f*cking gorgeous. Like, this thing pushes the RE Engine to the extreme and it looks beautiful for it. But, like i said before, I'm a narrative guy so let’s get into that.

Resident Evil Village is a direct continuation of Resident Evil VII Biohazard. It stare Ethan Winters, protagonist from the previous title, on a whole new, even more f*cked up, misadventure through some really ridiculous f*ck circumstances. This asshole apparently married his admitted terrorist wife, Mia, and sired a baby named Rose. We open this game seeing their happy little family, with Mia reading an incredibly inappropriate bed time story to her infant, while being even more inappropriate about Ethan witnessing her cooking. What the f*ck is THAT about? All of a sudden, Chris Redfield unloads on the house, downing Mia and putting Ethan on his ass, before double-tapping his wife and stealing his kid. Ethan wakes up in the middle of vaguely European village of f*cking Lycans, and the game begins in kind. That’s about as far as i am going to get into the plot because, spoilers, but it’s enough to set the stage for the absolute sh*tshow Ethan is going to have to maneuver in order to save his kid and his own f*cking life.

Admittedly, I'm not a fan of Ethan as a protagonist. I came up on classic Biohazard so characters like Leon S. Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Jill Valentine, and Chris Redfield, are kind of my go-to. In fact, my favorite character is actually Claire. he has all the gusto and ingenuity to keep me engaged. Leon is close second and Jill shines bright in III. Never really got behind Chris all that much and V did nothing to help that but I'd take him over Ethan any day of that week. That said, as far as overall narrative arc, it’s hard to argue that Ethan is far more the complete character. In two games, we have almost the entire development it took literal decades for the others to reach. VIII goes a long way to making Ethan feel like a whole character, an actual person, than any other single entry gas, for the rest of the RE protagonists. I still think he’s kind of a wooden plank but i have to concede dude is far more compelling that Chris has been in years.

What is a Resident Evil game without monsters? Listen, i love the human charterers to varying degrees but my absolute favorite thing about Resident Evil, is f*cking G. G is everything to me but, i must say, Lady Dimitrescu is fast approaching that pedestal. Alcina is one of the most terrifying villains I've seen in these games. She could legitimately give REmake Mr. X a run for her money, Chick is THAT stressful but she’s just one of several. Heisenberg, Mother Miranda, Moreau, The Hag, and so many more, add a certain flair, a certain credibility to Ethan’s forthcoming trilogy, than just  Eveline and some f*cking Molded. Resident Evil VII as very obviously an expanded tech demo for the games that came after but VIII is definitely the pinnacle of that type of design.

Overall, from what I've seen of Resident Evil Village, this thing is contender for one of the best in the entire franchise. It’s definitely leaning into more action oriented playthrough, something I'm pretty wary of, but it’s done a decent job of maintaining a balance between the two. Like i said, this feels like IV in all of the ways that are important. It has a merchant an item box, and it’s definitely more run-n-gun. Village has some of the most intricate BOWs and a narrative that really keeps you invested. I don’t like Ethan all that much but i was definitely interested in what the f8ck as going on, overall. I still personally believe that II is the best of the franchise but i can see people making a strong argument for Village. It did not disappoint me and i haven’t even payed. Yet. Definitely on my list for the PS5 library and it’s an FPS. That, alone, speaks volumes to the quality of this title.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Dark Phoenix Spoiler Review.

Ok so I promised I would make a spoiler review once the movie came out everywhere. Also its been a few days since I saw the film so I’ve had time to think it all over and get my thoughts in order. Like I said right after I saw the movie, It was a great movie I really really enjoyed it. Did I think it was the greatest Xmen film ever? Well no I still think that’s DOFP (particularly the Rogue Cut). But it was still in my opinion right up there with Xmen, X2, First class and it was better than Apocalypse and miles better than Last Stand. It was a little hard to rank because it was very different from other Xmen films, it wasn’t as cheesy, comic booky style this one was much darker and very gritty. But anyway I will be going through the film talking about the good parts and the parts that I thought it could have done more with. The rest is under the cut as there are SPOILERS I should also mention that I talk about some spoilers for Avengers Infinity war and End Game and also for the season two finale of Fox’s show the Gifted. As fair warning this is long really long I have alot of feelings and thoughts so can I make a suggestion stop reading for a moment. Ok now pop into your kitchen make yourself a cup of tea or coffee or hot chocolate or hell even pour yourself a glass of wine. Then come back get nice and comfy on your sofa or bed or in your computer chair where ever it is you are and read this review. Alternatively if you can’t be f*cked with that just carry on scrolling ;) But if you do want to read a ridiculously long review written by a girl who is very much in her feelings well I’ve got one right here for you so read on. 

The Flashback and The Space Mission. 

The opening shot of the film is a flashback to when Jean is a child and she’s in the car with her parents. After getting bored with the choice of music on the radio she uses her powers to turn the radio over. And then all hell starts to break loose and she loses control of her powers causing the car to crash and for it to seem like her parents were both killed. We then see Charles bring her to the school and we have that conversation about breaking things, I actually think these opening scenes did a really good job at setting up the tone for the rest of the movie and it really gives us an insight into Jean and why she fears her own power. I mean it starts out innocent enough she’s just a little girl who wants to listen to something else on the radio so turns it over but then she brings about her parents deaths. I also think that conversation between her and Charles was very important to the rest of the film. When he says ‘whatever you break I can fix’ and she gives that very ominous reply of ‘not everything.’ Its very foreshadowing for what happens later in the film because there are a lot of things Jean breaks and no Charles can’t fix it all. 

So then we flash forward and see a space shuttle being launched into space. Not long after one of the, I’m not sure what they’re called but lets say NASA operators, notices a solar flare heading for the shuttle which causes problems with the shuttle. Now I personally feel like solar flares is probably something NASA should have checked for before sending their shuttle full of astronauts into space. But who knows maybe they just weren’t able to pick it up until the shuttle got closer or maybe the flare just moved really fast and wasn’t there when they checked before the launch. I also appreciate that if they had discovered the flare before then there wouldn’t have been a movie and where’s the fun in that so on this occasion I will forgive this fictional NASA for their error. But anyway I’ve gone off on a slight tangent there so bringing it back. We learn from Hank that the X-Jet isn’t designed for out of space travel and that it wouldn’t be safe to try but then the president calls and he needs the X-Jet to be able to get to out of space so we see Hank reluctantly agree. It was a small scene but I did love how Hank just nodded than he beasts out. It sure did put me in the ‘yes its go time lets go on a mission baby’ mood. I also liked that we saw that convo about the X-Jet maybe not making it to space because it added so much more tension to that scene. Despite seeing the trailer and knowing that they do make it there I forgot that in the moment and I was sat there on the edge of my seat thinking oh lord are they even going to get to the shuttle or is the X-Jet going to explode from the pressure. 

The scene of them launching into space, along with the rescue mission and then their arrival back was one of my favourite sequences in the film. For me it was very reminiscent of the film Armageddon’s launch. Like seriously go watch that scene then watch the scene of the Jet heading into space and you’ll see what I mean. Even the score (which by the way is amazingly breathtaking, like seriously Hans Zimmer out did himself.) was very similar to the score for that scene in Amrageddon. Again go listen to Gap for the Dark Phoenix film then listen to The Launch  by Trevor Rabin they really do seem to both have elements that are similar to me. All of it reminded me of those moments in Armageddon when you’ve got the X-Jet coming out of the baketball and shooting off into space, the news reporters, the people gathered around looking at their tv screens or up at the sky and then switching to the xmen in the jet enjoying the ride into space. Also when they return and everyone is cheering them. Those scenes along with the rescue itself were like a little mini space rescue movie within the movie and I loved every moment of it. But yeah definitely gave me Armageddon or even Independence Day vibes there. The rescue mission itself was also very well done. I liked how the whole team played a part and they worked well together like a well oiled machine. Hank flew the Jet, Raven gave the directions, Scott blasted the thrusters and stopped the shuttle from spinning, Storm closed the holes in the shuttle, Kurt teleported Quicksilver in and the astronauts out. Quicksilver got all the Astronuats to Kurt, Jean held the shuttle together while Kurt rescued the last Astronaut. Every one of them had a role and they utilised each of their powers in a way that worked for the storyline. Also the effects for each of their powers were really cool and again well done. I’ve seen some reviews from critics saying that the effects were sub par and badly done but I’d have to disagree I actually think the special effects are some of the best I’ve ever seen and were a highlight of the film. 

So next I want to talk about the Phoenix Force and the scene where Jean comes in contact with it. The SFX for the Phoenix energy are the best of them all. The way it moved was both incredibly menacing and somehow stunningly beautiful at the same time. Also the moment when Jean pulls the energy away from the X-Jet and her family and into herself made me hold my breath. One thing this film got right was how it built tension. I mean pretty much from the beginning of the film they were building the tension slowly, the scenes in the flashback and the ominous conversation between Charles and Jean, NASA discovering the ‘solar flare’, not knowing if the X-Jet will get to space, rescueing the astronauts, finding out one was left behind, knowing they only had 30 secs to get that man left behind, Kurt arriving back without Jean every one of those moments took the tension up another notch and then it comes to a head when Jean is overcome by the ‘solar flare’. Also seeing her team’s reactions was very emotional particularly Scott and Raven’s  and then when Scott is cradling her in his arms and she slowly opens her eyes. You would think you’d feel relieved but you don’t because as an audience you know whats coming next and you know she should be dead and so instead of that moment dissipating the tension it only racks it up some more. And then it’s kept up throughout the rest of the film you never get a break from it. 

So they arrive back home to cheers and its made pretty obvious that the Xmen are very much loved you know they are the world’s heroes. There are kids with faces painted blue and the little girl with the mystique doll and people holding up signs with their favourtie Xmen’s name on it. The Xmen are being celebrated, Mutants are being celebrated. I mean that shot of the little boy with his face painted blue was really touching to me I actually got wierdly emotional about it because in previous films we’ve seen how much being blue has affected Raven and Hank (and to some extent Kurt) how they never thought they would be accepted looking the way they did and yet heres this kid who not only accepts them but so badly wants to be like them that he’s painted his own face and for some reason that punched me right in the gut with all the feels. I loved that they were getting that validation after everything they’ve been through and struggled with that that part of them was also being celebrated and loved. 

However as we see from Raven and Charles’ conversation this adoration and love comes at a price. Raven points out to Charles that they are taking bigger and bigger risks and wonders if its because of Charles’ ego. But while I do think that factors into it I also think the situation is a little more complicated than that. I mean think about it what do you think would have happened if the Xmen had said no to rescuing the astronauts. How quickly would the world have started to turn on them, you just know that the next days headlines would have been ‘Xmen Leave Astronauts To Die’. And just like that they’d be the bad guys again. I do think this is also shown in Hank’s sudden turn around when the president calls, and the convo between Jean and Raven, its also pretty obvious that no one else in the team feels particularly good about going on this mission. Everyone thought it was a bad idea but as I said they can’t say no. They worked so hard and fought so hard over the years to get to this place where they are accepted but now they are trapped in this damned if they do damned if they don’t situation. So I do understand Raven’s frustration at the situation and I think she’s also frustrated with Charles because she feels like he cares more about the image of the Xmen than he does the actual people in the team and to be honest in that moment he did come across that way. Now I don’t think they portray Charles as a bad guy here more as someone whose ego combined with good intentions are leading him to make alot of bad mistakes. That is one thing I have always loved about the Xmen films that despite having superpowers and being portrayed as mutants and different the films have always focussed on how they still have very human flaws and failings and are often influenced by very human feelings.  So anyway that’s the beginning of the film, that’s our set up, you know the whole reason for the space mission was to bring Jean into contact with the Phoenix and now we can move on to the next stage of the movie.

Beastique

Ok so if you are not a fan of Beastique you might want to skip over this section because I am a huge Beastique shipper so in the next couple of paragraphs I am going to be gushing, crying and sighing over what could have been. After everyone arrives home Charles tells them to go enjoy themselves as they have earnt it. And so the younger folks go off and throw a party and we get a scene between Hank and Raven who are together in the lab. During this scene they are watching the kids on the screen (which as a side note did anyone else find that a little weird that they were spying on the kids like that? I mean I guess it kinda makes sense considering there were also school kids there and they had a fire and I think alcohol so some supervision was probably warrented but I also found it a bit strange.) But anyway they start by reminiscing about how they too used to throw party’s like that and how they are the last of the First Class team. Which leads to that scene. That scene where she’s trying to convince him to run away with her.  My God my poor Beastique heart. I mean I went into this movie knowing what was going to happen to Mystique they spoilt that pretty early on so this scene was very bittersweet for me. I also liked that it was Raven who was asking Hank to leave with her as oppose to the other way around. In previous films I did feel like it was mostly Hank who was trying to put effort into their relationship and who was chasing Raven so it was nice to see the roles reversed a little and see Raven showing her feelings. I just thought that scene was so sweet, I mean she wanted to leave with him and for them to have a life together. It really made me long for might have beens and it made Mystique’s eventual fate all the more sad and tragic because she could have had that life if she and Hank had left together. But she didn’t want to go without him and once Jean disappeared she knew she couldn’t leave without making sure she was safe first. Which brings me to her death scene. Like I said I saw this coming but I said before I went into the movie that so long as we got some scenes that showed that Raven and Hank had spent the years that had passed happy and together I’d be happy which we did. The one other thing I wanted was an I love you and let me just say... I didn’t mean like that!! Now I will however hand it to them they wrote Raven’s death scene very well. I know JLaw’s portrayal of her wasn’t the most popular but I personally loved her portrayal of her I liked that more vulnerable side of the character and that it was different from the original it was one of the things I liked most about the prequel series that with all the characters we got to explore other sides of the characters that were in my opinion more complex and nuanced than the originals more than just this is the good guy and these two are the bad guys. Don’t get me wrong I love the originals as well but I liked getting that other side of them. But anyway I do think it was a satisfying end for Raven’s character. She died protecting her family. The scene itself was very well shot and played the tension and shock value brilliantly and her goodye scene with Hank tore me apart. His just utter disbelief and him reapeating no no no over and over and her whispering out I love you as her last words because she just has to say it to him in that moment. It was incredibly sad and both actors did a fantastic job with the scene. 

One thing I do wish when it comes to Beastique as a whole is that they had spent more time on it, this couple have been criminally underdeveloped throughout these films. I mean they set it up brillantly in First Class I left that film very much feeling like they had that whole first love/ love at first sight/ starcrossed lovers vibe. But then they kinda dropped the ball on it. I mean if you were going to do this relationship then do the relationship don’t give me no half baked thing and don’t start what your not going to finish. I do feel like a lot of their scenes were filmed but then ended up on the cutting room floor I mean I will always both be very bitter about the Beastique scenes from the Rogue Cut being cut from the theatrical realease and very grateful that we did at least get to see those scenes in that extended format. I will confess that Beastique or the lack thereof has been one of the things that has frustrated me most throughout this series of films. Mainly because they always gave me just enough to keep me invested in this ship but never enough to fully satisfy me.  Don’t these people know that I am an obessed fangirl whose hapiness and misery in life revolve around these fictional ships and I demand to be fed. Of course they did give me nearly everything I ever wanted for Beastique in this installment. I mean guys my OTP were having the lets run away together talk and then we got I love you’s as well so I should be a very very happy shipper right now, but unfortunately that’s the eternal plight of the obsessive fangirl sometimes you get everything you ever wanted for your ship and then it is snatched away from you. The Kinberg giveth and the Kinberg taketh away again. But anyway emotionally unstable rant over with, the obessed slightly crazy fangirl me has been put back in her box and rational reviewer me is back so let us continue. 

The Drawbacks 

Ok so I will and can admit that this film did have a couple of issues. And I’m going to talk about them here because the two biggest issues I had with the film have happened by this point in the film. My first issue with the film, which I touched on a little above, is that I feel like they should have spent just a little more time building the relationships between the various characters before Jean loses control at her father’s house and before Mystique is killed. In particular I feel like Scott and Jean and Hank and Raven needed just a couple more scenes for each couple to show the growth in both relationships. But also I think there needed to be more scenes between Raven and each of the members of the rest of the team. And again with Jean and each of the other members. I mean it wasn’t a huge problem we still got enough to know that Scott and Jean were in love and to feel the impact on the relationship when Jean went Dark and Scott’s desperation in trying to get her back. We got enough to know that Raven and Hank were in love and felt that impact of her death and to make sense of Hank’s decisions and motivations after. We got enough to know that this group of people were a family and what was happening with Jean and what happened to Mystique was tearing it apart. So yes we still got enough for it make sense but I feel like with just a few extra scenes spent building those relationships it would have added just a little more punch to those emotionally charged scenes.

The thing is when me and my sister left the cinema one of the first things she said to me after ‘that was good,’ was ‘but it seemed really short it was only like an hour long.’ At the time I argued that no it must have just seemed short because it was fast paced but actually she was right this film wasn’t even 2 hours long (the runtime was 1hr 54 min) making it the shortest in the prequel series. And to be honest I don’t understand why they didn’t make it longer. I do feel like the film suffered a bit from the shorter runtime and alot of the issues with the film could have been fixed if they had just added an extra half hour and brought it to around the 2hrs 30min mark. They would have had more time to develop those relationships and also explore the backstory of the Alien villians a little which is another place where the film fell a little short. The film was very fast paced and I do wonder why I mean they were not messing about they got right into it, It was only like 10-15 mins in when Jean was infected with the Phoenix. I do wonder if some of it was down to the reviews from Apocalypse saying it was too slow in places so they tried to conteract that in this film and went too far the other way. It does appear like a lot of stuff was cut out there were several moments from the trailers and screenshots that didn’t appear in the film. For example when Scott asks Charles tell me what to do and Charles bursts out I don’t know what to do. I don’t remember seeing that in the film. Also that screenshot of Eric in a wheelchair and Hank, Storm and Kurt are with them that wasn’t in there either. Now me personally one thing I would love is if when they release it to DVD they do the same thing they did with DOFP The Rogue Cut and release an extended version of the film. 

So the next thing that bothered me was that there wasn’t enough Quicksilver. His scenes have been highlights of the previous movies and I was hoping to see that big Quicksilver sequence but sadly we never got it instead we got two smaller scenes (which I loved them both) before Quicksilver is badly injured and taken out of comission for the rest of the movie. I am happy they gave us that scene at the end that showed us he was ok. But I do wish we had gotten more scenes with him. That being said I have learned that the reason why Quicksilver had such a small part in this movie was because Evan Peters had conflicts in his filming schedules for this and American Horror Story. So I can forgive them for the smaller part as it wasn’t really the film producer’s fault. I have decided instead I am just going to be grateful that he was in the film at all and appreciate the scenes we did get. Obviously it was disappointing that we didn’t get a conclusion to the whole Dadneto storyline but then I read an interview where Simon Kinberg talked about why and he said that he chose not to do it because with the limited time they had with Evan Peters he didn’t feel like there was enough time to do the story justice. To be honest I actually have a lot of respect for him for making that decision and sticking to it I mean he could’ve caved and done a rushed scene where it gets resolved but it wouldn’t have given the storyline the time and attention it deserves. As he said it was the story that deserved to be told properly and I think that him deciding that if he couldn’t give that storyline the attention and time it needed to be done well then he wasn’t going to do it all shows that he cares about and has a lot of respect for the characters. I am also glad that as they couldn’t do the story they didn’t have any scenes with Quicksilver and Magneto because that would have been too painful to see them in the same space and not have that reveal. So yeah as disappointed as I am that we never got any Dadneto scenes I can appreciate and respect Kinberg’s reasons behind it. Personally I’m holding out and praying for a solo Quicksilver film.   

Every Hero Has a Dark Side.

So as all of the promo posters for this movie suggest this theme of a person’s inner darkness is played on throughout the movie. The thing I really liked about this movie was even though the main focus was on Jean and her struggle with this Dark Force that had taken over her all of the characters have moments where their darker side comes through with varying degrees. I mean during the fight scenes no one was holding back because they were up against a friend or family member I mean I really got the sense that they were gunning for each other which for me was both surprising and horrifying which you know I think it was suppose to get that reaction from you. But yeah every character had that darker moment. So starting with the ones that had less of a conflict going on to the ones who had some really dark moments (I am not going to include Jean, Mystique or Quicksilver here because I want to discuss Jean in her own section and the other two weren’t really in it enough to have much to talk about). Storm doesn’t go that dark but has that moment of doubt about Jean where she goes to Scott and says that she thinks Jean did mean to kill Mystique and has that line about how sometimes you think a person is something but then by the time you learn they are something else its too late. It’s obvious Storm is very conflicted about the whole Jean thing but in the end she goes along with Scott because its Scott and she has a bond with him and Jean. I do wonder if in the previous version Storm also goes against Jean as I did feel like there were hints that she also believed Jean was a lost cause and should be killed but ultimately sided with the Xmen because Scott asked her to so I do feel like Storm’s darkness is displayed in her considering killing Jean and turning her back on her as I feel she more went along with the team out of support for Scott than out of actually wanting to rescue Jean. Scott’s dark moment came later and again like Storm wasn’t so overly done that it seemed wildly out of character. That was when he tells Eric ‘if you touch Jean I will f*cking kill you.’ You know what? He meant it, I believed he meant it in that moment. Actually little tidbit for you but in the cinema like 50% of the audience gasped and the other half made oooh sounds at that moment. I actually loved that scene I think it showed Scott as being someone who was strong and would protect the ones he loved at any cost like I knew that he would kill anyone who tried to hurt Jean. Scott’s story in this film is one of desperation. I mean you have to look at his journey in the story. The woman he loves is doing all these awful things to their own family, He had to watch her kill someone who had a maternal role in their lifes who he had love for, and then I think Hank’s decision to go after Jean had a big effect on Scott as well. I know the film seems to set Charles up as Jean’s father type figure but in regards to Scott especially when you look at their relationship in Apocalypse I would argue that Hank has that more paternal bond with Scott. Charles is definitely a mentor role but I do think we need to remember that its Hank and Raven who helped raise these kids up too. So for Scott this man (Hank) who he does have a father/ big brother type bond with, a man he would ordinarily turn to in tough times and who he admires is trying to kill the woman Scott loves. Scott must feel so betrayed and like Hank has turned against him too. I really think the characters darkest moments though (and this includes Storm) come out in their fight scene against each other when they are trying to get to Jean. Like when I saw the two sides approaching each other I thought oh they’ll hold back a bit because they won’t want to accidently hurt each other. But nope there was no holding back and actually it did seem like they wanted to hurt each other. There was a lot of hurt and anger behind those scenes and I was actually shocked by how agressive they were being towards each other. It was horrifying and heartbreaking. Ok so next on are list is Kurt. Oh lil baby Kurt. Kurt is one of those characters that is so sweet and innocent and so very child like that you can’t imagine him ever doing anything that could be deemed even a little dark despite his father being a literal demon. But there is one moment in this film where poor little Kurt just snaps. And I loved it. It also made sense to me in that moment it was the only way I could ever see Kurt being agressive like that. I mean again if you look at his journey in the film so far, he’s had to leave behind one of his team mates during the space mission which he believes at the time had lead to her death only by some miracle she survives and he thinks its all ok. Then he finds out that actually she wasn’t fine at all and being hit by that energy has changed her, he witnesses Jean who is like a sister to him kill Mystique who I feel like she very much had a mothering type role in all of the younger team members lifes. He also sees Jean actively hurting other members of his family. Which he must have some sense of guilt over because in his mind he left her behind. Then he has to watch the world that had come to love and admire and basically worship him and his team mates turn on them and treat them once again as dangerous. And I think the final straw was the man who tells him his son used to be a fan, the same man who lets them go when the aliens show up because he trusts that the xmen can protect them, is killed. Kurt knows that this man has a son at home, a son that once admired Kurt and hero worshipped him, a son whose now going to have someone come to his door and tell him his dad is dead. Kurt is such a soft soul that he was able to feel a connection with this man and his child and so when that man dies Kurt is devastated and it leads him to snap and go full on BAMF on them all. I mean I loved his fight with that alien woman. My favourite part was when they were on the train tracks and she’s all yeah I’ve won, I’ve got you, I’m gonna kill you and Kurt just gives her the look. The ‘uh uh b*tch I’ve got you’ look then teleports away leaving her dumb ass to get hit by a train. Again another side note here but I actually laughed at that moment when she got hit by the train, I don’t think I suppose to but yeah me and my sister just looked at each other (the only time we did make eye contact during the film) and just smiled at each other then laughed. I mean in regards to Kurt I was conflicted during his fight scene because one part of me really wanted to see him rip that woman to shreds, I wanted to see how powerful he was and I loved them showing him using that power in a different more offensive as oppose to defensive way. I wanted to see him win that fight naturally. But at the same time when I thought about everything he had gone through to lead him to that moment of snapping I just wanted to wrap him in a hug and wish he could go back to being that innocent childlike cinnamon roll. Because its tragic what happens to him, well what happens to them all really they are all put through hell in this film and its a very tragic and sad story but one that I thought was told well. 

Ok so next one to talk about the dark side with is Charles. Now Charles is the anamoly I think in this story because where the others all primarily start out good and then throughout the film slowly become darker Charles is the opposite way around. When we see him again in this film after Apocalypse he is well he’s a bit of a douchbag. I do wonder how much the events of Apocalypse have played a part in his new attitude I mean being mindf*cked by Apocalypse like that must have had some impact on him. But anyway he’s enjoying having his ego stroked by all these powerful politicians and influential people. He’s getting awards and being on magazine covers and he’s eating it all up, having a good old feast. Which again makes sense for his character in this storyline as he says to Raven when she says ‘you enjoy it don’t you’ and he replies ‘as oppose to being hunted and despised well you know actually I do’. He knows that things are going well at the moment the world believes they need the X-Men but Charles also knows as he says they are only one bad day away from being hated again. He does care for his team and want to keep them safe, I mean he does express concern for Jean when she does return but he’s also willing to go to extreme measures to achieve that dream of complete acceptance. When he says its all about a means to an end and Raven says something about even if it means risking the teams lives to save their people (meaning the humans) and he replies yes I got the sense that he would be willing to sacrifice one of the team if it meant keeping what they had gained and built over the years.I’m not saying he wouldn’t be distraught if something happened to one of his team or that he wouldn’t grieve but he’d consider it a sacrifice that was worth being made for the greater good. He considered the danger he was putting the team in as an acceptable risk. There is also the fact that he lied to Jean and manipulated her mind. Again you could understand why, he was trying to protect her and he had good intentions but they were really misguided you know waht they say ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’ and this is truly shown within Charles’ storyline. Charles’ story in this film is once again one of tragedy and was designed to warn of the consequences of letting your ego and selfishness get in the way. It was about a man who had good intentions but in the end he let his ego lead him down the wrong path and a lot of people suffered for it. He’s not set as the villian of the story but as the cautionary tale, at his core he’s still a good man. It was incredibly sad to see him watching everything around him unravel and know that a lot of it was down to his own choices. Of course as the film goes on he does try to redeem himself by attempting to get through to Jean. I said above that I thought he would be willing to sacrifice one of them but as the film goes on this changes because the more things fall apart the harder he fights for Jean and the rest of his team. Unfortunately he’s never really able to fully turn things around as Jean said in that opening scene he can’t fix everything she breaks and I do think come the films end Charles himself is broken. 

Ok Eric. Here’s another one that is set to a different formula this film. Where in most of the other films he’s pretty much the bad guy from the get go or at least morally grey, in this film when we first see him he’s used his time to move on from his vengence and has built a homeland for mutants. He looks like he’s doing really well for himself. But then it all goes to hell when first Jean then Hank show up. One thing I will say is I liked how Eric was willing to help Jean no questions asked when she first showed up. I mean obviously he did ask questions but he was still willing to help her even if she didn’t answer. Like you could see he wanted to help her and he answered all her own questions despite how troubling they were. Of course he does eventually have to cast her out in order to protect his people. Then Hank shows up and he learns that Jean killed Raven. Another thing I liked were those scenes between Hank and Eric who up until this point had very much been at odds with each other but their love for Raven unites them. It was something new and unexplored and so it felt fresh it was interesting to see that dynamic. Obviously Eric going a bit dark isn’t really that much of a shock considering his previous actions in other films but I do think it was well done here. Again as with all of the characters his motives for it made sense. I do think that the point of Eric’s story in this was to show that even when you escape your inner darkness and better yourself you can always be pulled back into it again by trauma. Eric is also the figure for how trauma can turn someone into a morally flawed person its always been his story how he tries to be a good man but circumstances and tragic occurences in his life always bring out that vengeful spirit in him, that darkness. He’s very much the equivalent of the frankenstein story, are you born a monster or do circumstances make you one. 

Now its time for Hank. I loved what they did with Hank’s character in this movie. I loved that they gave more time to him and I loved that we got to see that darker side. Now I’ve put him last because I do think that out of all of them his was the most drastic change in character so for him this was the darkest he’s ever been. Again it made sense for the character. He was in love with Raven and has been for years and the tragedy of this story is that he lost her when they had finally got there shiz together and were happy. Also he clearly has a lot of guilt and regret over not leaving with Raven when he had the chance. I mean it comes through real strong in that moment when he tells Charles ’Raven was going to leave and I convinced her to stay.’  He is utterly destroyed by Raven’s death and on top of that he’s lost all faith in Charles who is one of his longest companions, some of the blame for her death he puts on Charles. Because it was Charles’ choices that led them to that moment and it was Charles who physically stopped him from taking out Jean with that taser which may have prevented Raven’s death. I think for me one of the saddest storylines in this film was seeing that rift between Hank and Charles. I mean if you think about their history Hank has always stood by Charles. I mean just take a look at DOFP when Charles had no one else he still had Hank. Hank acted as Charles’ carer for years and was with him even in his darkest moments and yet this is what makes Hank get up and walk away from him. Because Charles himself can’t even admit that he was wrong. I mean that scene in the kitchen between them was amazing, both actors were amazing I felt their pain and grief. I felt the tension between them. It was awful to watch these two characters who have been through so much together get torn apart. But again, and I will keep saying this, it was done well. It was done with alot of care and attention and respect and you know alot of thought and heart was put into this film. So anyway Hank decides that Jean needs to be killed and you know Hank is a genius he knows that without Charles he doesn’t have the resources to find Jean by himself. So he goes to Eric for help in finding her. Which makes sense from a strategic standpoint. He and Eric might have their issues but Hank knows that Eric loved Raven too and that he has resources so Hank uses that to get the help he needs. Now the fact that Hank wants Jean dead is naturally kinda dark. I mean this is a woman that he has known since a child and who is very much like family to him. But I also believe that after Jean killed Raven Hank made up his mind that Jean was gone as he says ‘Jean isn’t Jean anymore.’ In his eyes Jean died up in space when she was hit by that solar flare and whatever this thing is that looks like Jean now this thing that killed the woman he loves it isn’t Jean. So he’s not just grieving Raven he’s also grieving Jean too and again I think this comes through when Eric says ‘if I find her I will kill her’ and Hank answers ‘I know’. I mean that scene did make me tear up a little because you can hear the pain in Hank’s voice and you see the tears in his eyes and you just know this is cutting him up inside. He’s not making this decision lightly it is effecting him deeply. Seriously though hats off to Nicholas Hoult because he did some serious to God amazing acting in this film. I mean Beast has always been one of my favourite characters especially since First Class so I am a little biased but I really did think his performance in this film was so emotional and he did a really great job in all of his scenes. I also loved that ultimately he was able to overcome that darkness and in the end did what Raven would have and protected Jean. It was another moment that just gave me chills I mean when the aliens are like give us the girl and he just growls out that ‘no!’ It was so powerful and like I said I got literal chills.  

Whose Got The Power!? 

They all do, oh boy do they. One thing that alot of the other X-Men films got criticism for was not utilizing all of the characters powers very well. There was always one character that got left on the sidelines I am pleased to say however that is not the case in this film. Every one of our characters gets the chance to fully display their powers and you know what its epic. The special effects for each of the powers are fantastic. Also I loved how creative they were with how they used their powers I touched on it a bit in the first part of this review but they do cover all aspects of each of their powers and not just one facet of them. For example with Storm they don’t just show her pulling down lightning bolts. We do see her do that and its electrifying (pun intended) but we also see her use her powers to freeze over the holes in the space shuttle or to quite literally at one point blow her enemy away with the force of the winds she’s controlling. With Hank they show us his super intelligent side of his powers when they are talking about the modifications he’s made on the Jet and him treating Jean but also show his strength and fighting finesse. Scott uses his powers both in a productive way when he stops the shuttle from spinning and in a destructive way when he’s blasting his foes to hell. Kurt uses his to rescue people and to teleport people in front of trains we again see both the defensive and offensive sides of his powers. The same with Quicksilver we have one scene of him rescuing another of him attacking. Mystique we see her shapeshifting but we also explore more of her leadership skills too. Charles uses his power to both communicate and to control. Eric uses his in close quarter hand to hand combat but to also crush things around people or to pull subway carts up and use them as a shield and battering ram. Jean uses her powers for literally everything, it seems like there’s nothing she can’t do and we get to see it all. So yeah I definaitely got excited and went full fangirl whenever I saw them use their powers and it is alot. 

The Train Fight. 

Ok yes I am going to say it, I am going to put this statement out there for everyone to see. This was the greatest fight sequence in any superhero film ever. And I mean ever. And yes I am including those huge epic battle scenes from Infinity War and End Game. Which don’t get me wrong were epic but this scene for me was even greater than those and here’s what I think gives it the edge. There are less characters involved. Now you might think that would lessen it but I actually think its an advantage for this film. Because there are less characters involved it gives it a much more intimate feel than those other battle scenes. Because there are less characters you can focus on each of them more and follow them through the battle more closely. There is less confusion of what is happening because you can focus more on those characters and what each of them are doing. Yet it still manages to be as dramatic and exciting and just downright cool and epic as those other scenes. I mean I just I don’t think I even have the words to describe just how epic that scene was. But I will try. 

So I am going to start at the very beginning of the scene where they are all on the train chained up. The thing that is poignant about this scene is at this point all the characters are still at odds with each other. You can feel the tension between all of these characters and the discord. We also get a quite sweet and really emotional scene between Charles and Hank where Charles finally tells Hank what he wants to hear. He was wrong and he’s sorry. This becomes a turning point because it has a huge part to play in what happens next. So right after we hear banging noises and over the radio the security following the train inform the guards in the train that they have multiple hostiles on the roof. Then Eric says she’s coming for us. In the trailer this is actually really misleading because there you think they are talking about Jean but actaully in the film Jean is on the train with them and the ‘she’ coming for them is Jessica Chastain’s character Vuk who wants the Phoenix Force herself and her people who are an alien race who can shapeshift and seem to be nye on near indestructable. I mean these guys are really hard to kill trust me which really helps in building the tension. But anyway they say to the guards let us go because we can help but they refuse until most of them are killed and one guard smartly decides to let them go. There comes another of my favourite moments which again is a small but very powerful one. Once they have been released, the door is blown off and in walk our alien adversaries. Our X-Men all stand up and form together and do what I like to call the superhero stance, you all know the one I mean. The one that tells you they mean business and the bad guy better watch out. Again this is another moment where I just got chills. I said earlier that Hank and Charles’ conversation was important because of what it meant for later scenes and this is the one I meant because it makes Hank change his mind and he refuses to stand aside and let them at Jean, when Eric asks him what he’s doing he replies what ‘Raven would have’. This also causes Eric to have a change of heart and so you get this moment where the people who were at each others throats about 10 mins before are now choosing to band together and fight for each other and it is a truly intimate and beautiful moment. And then all hell break loose and the epicness begins. 

A highlight of this fight and something they do really really well and something that makes it really fun and interesting to watch, is that it is on different levels of the train. You have them fighting in the train carts, you have them fighting on the roof of the train, hell you even have them fighting on the damn tracks and on the bridges along the train tracks. They’re in the train, they’re on the train, they are the train. But in all seriousness it is so well choregraphed and has a great progression. 

Some highlights of the scene were Eric firstly crushing the train cart around the aliens and then just with a casual flick of the wrist tossing it away like it was no biggy at all. Two when Vuk shows up and Eric brings out the big guns literally. He uses his powers to point an arsenal of assault rifles at her then just blasts the crap out of her. She just stands there calmly taking it all and then heals right up in a very sinister and creepy way. But the shot of Eric there with all the rifles assembling around him is again just an epic moment and very very Eric if you know what I mean. Micheal Fassbender is so good at playing Magneto always so sauve and smooth. 

Kurt fighting that female alien and then leaving her on the train tracks. We really got to see his powers in this scene and in some ways it was remencient of Azazel in First Class in how he uses the powers. He grabs a person and then teleports them somewhere else before they get he chance to get their bearings and its that very fast get a shot in then teleport and get another shot in kinda style. Though naturally Kurt isn’t anything like his father character wise, he is far too much of a sweet little cinnamon roll I do think a little of his darkness came through here. 

Jean waking up and saying ‘I know what I have to do, protect my family’ then rising up out of the train and shielding her friends before lifting the train from the tracks and smashing it back into the earth with the aliens inside. The special effects for that scene were amazing and it was just a really cool scene to watch. 

It’s An Alien Invasion

So the true bad guys of this film are the aliens who come after the Phoenix Force. The race isn’t actually given a name in the film but from what I understand they are a race called the Skrulls which are shapeshifting aliens who seem to be ridiculously strong and impervious to harm. Their home planet was destroyed along with the majority of their people by the same cosmic force that now inhabits Jean and they have spent years tracking it across the universe hoping to capture and harness its power so that they can remake their home world. When you take just this part of their story you actually feel quite sorry for them. I mean at least I did like these poor aliens watched their home and all the people they love get destroyed just out of the blue one day and they are the last few survivors and they just want to start over anew. It must have been so traumatic for these poor guys. Of course any sympathy I had for them was soon thrown out the window when I realised that their way of getting their world back was by using the Phoenix Force to remodel Earth into their home planet which means wiping out all humanity. Then I was all like these peeps need to die. 

I will say that I think a little more time needed to be spent on this group of people. I get that they were going for the mysterious vibe with them but I think they might have been a little too mysterious. I mean I think they did enough with the main one Vuk. I also understood the backstory and why they were doing what they were doing but there were I think about 7 other aliens or so (I don’t remember the exact number) but we don’t get to know any of the others really. We only have time with Vuk so I do think they would have benefitted from building up some of those other background aliens. 

That being said there were some good things about the villians. There arrival was a good scene. It was very creepy and again very like those Alien invasion films. That shot of them creeping out of the trees through the darkness was very very spooky and chilling. Also the scenes where Vuk is killing and torturing people by putting her hand on their chests was also very disturbing. I mean overall as villians they did come across as frightening and creepy and yes mysterious but I do also think they could have been built up a bit more. As I said above in the review this is one thing they fell short on and I do think it could have been combated with making the film longer. 

The Dark Phoenix

Sophie Turner let me fall to my knees and bow before you, you absolute Queen. Sophie did so good, so so good with this film. Sophie played this role masterfully. It had so many waves through out the character development and she sold every one of them and made it so believeable. From that elation she displays when she first gets back and she wants to party and drink and you can see she’s on top of the world, to her pushing Charles out of her head and causing him injury, to her joy and childishness when she sees her father again to the rage when she goes up against her friends. I brought every damn thing she was selling me. I also liked how the Phoenix powers slowly emerge within Jean. At first we get subtle signs of it like when she is floating out in space right after being consumed by the energy and those little cracks appear on her skin with the firey glow under them. Or when she does open her eyes and for a brief moment they also have a fiery colour. Then it continues to grow bit by bit until eventually by the end of the film she’s full on glowing and vapourising sh*t like a BAMF. But I liked that it wasn’t just a case of she gets hit by it and all of a sudden she’s super powerful and turning stuff to dust right away they reveal it to us slower, showing us a litlle bit then a bit more which again adds to the tension and anticipation and makes you want to see more to want to know just how much more there is, how powerful is this power and what is Jean going to do with it? 

So lets walk through Jean’s transformation into the Dark Phoenix and talk about her journey throughout the movie. So I already covered her flashback scene above so we don’t really need to go into that so I think we should start with is right after she gets linked with the Phoenix Force. Once they’ve returned home Jean is sent for a medical exam with Hank to make sure she’s ok. Hank sees that everything is ok but there’s an anomaly in her powers. She’s grown so powerful that the machine isn’t even picking it up anymore, she’s literally off the charts powerful. Hank tries not to let it trouble him too much and just makes a quip about how he needs to build a better machine and sends her on her way. I just said above that Sophie did a fantastic job at showing the fluctuations and changes within her character’s moods throughout the film. Well in these beginning scenes Jean is very much feeling elated and powerful. There’s one part of the film where Charles says that Jean is ‘all desire and rage’ and at this point we see more of the desire part of it. She has that heated moment with Scott where they kiss which actually reminded me abit of when Jean kisses Logan in Last Stand. Then they go to the party and she wants to drink and dance and you get this general feeling of desire from her she wants to have a good time. It’s almost like she’s high on the feeling you know that feeling of being on top of the world that you get. Again another side note here but just wanted to say I loved that cameo of Dazzler and her powers looked real cool. But anyway back to Jean, so then things around her start to blur and she can feel that power building up in her and the voices start and its that same feeling she got in the car with her parents and it frightens her. She clutches her head and tells the voices to be quiet but then the power explodes from her knocking the people around her to the ground and blowing over trees and she’s then unconcious at the center of this charred circle. This then leads to Charles looking into her head while she’s asleep and having to confess to Hank and Raven what he did and informs us that the walls he put up or the scaffolding as he called it is starting to come down. Jean walks up and is none to happy to find Charles in her head and pushes him out after a bit of a battle for control that leaves Charles needing medical care and Jean to leave because we learn that she heard her father’s voice and she realises that her father is still alive and did not die in the car accident like she believed. Although we saw a little of that rage during her argument within her head with Charles she is still very much at this stage driven by desire. This time its her desire to see her Father again. Which as an audience and as Charles knows this is a very bad idea considering the unstable mood she’s in. Upon meeting her father what she learns is that her Father gave her away, when she looks at the photos and sees loads of her mother but none of her she realises that her Father knew where she was but did not come looking for her, her rage builds and during the heat of their fight her Father tells her to come all the way in and to not forget what she did. Upon reading her father’s mind she learns that she killed her mother. This was another thing that Charles had manipulated her mind into forgetting in an effort to protect her. Unfortunately that now means all of that pain and horror of realising what she did to her mother comes out at this moment when she’s unstable. So when the X-men show up they find her emotionally distraught. This is when all the rage comes and with it the desire to hurt those she feels have wronged her and unfortunately that person she feels is Charles who lied to her and kept the truth from her. Her rage is directed at him and anyone who stands with him. So when the police cars show up she sees them as a threat and destroys them which leads to Storm throwing the lightening bolt at her and then things just escalate. At one point she even throws Scott across the lawn which really shows how out of control she’s becoming and how the power is warping her mind. One thing I do want to touch on quickly is that I don’t actually think this cosmic force she comes in contact with is necessarily evil on its own. When I first saw the trailer I thought it was a case of shes overtaken by this evil energy and that turns her evil but having seen the film I actually don’t think that’s the case at all. I don’t see the energy as being evil or good its just powerful. It’s like Charles says when he gives child Jean the pen it’s what you choose to do with it. I also don’t get the impression that the power has a mind or feelings of its own. I don’t think it was there or that it destroys things because it has some kind of cognitive ability and it gets enjoyment from destruction and has some sinsiter ulterior evil motive. I actually think its more like a product of nature like a tsunami or hurricane or volcanoe. It’s powerful, it’s destructive but it’s not got a mind of its own that overtakes Jean’s. No what I think happens is that Jean absorbs this energy and it’s so powerful that it causes her mind to become unstable and for her to go a little crazy. Her mind breaks under the pressure of the power, basically its just too much to handle.  

Things do calm down for a moment though when Raven approaches Jean and tries to talk her down. For a moment it looks like its working. Jean is clearly still struggling but she’s not throwing things and people about or destroying the buildings around her anymore. But unfortunately for Raven the voices in her head are back and Jean can once again feel the power rising and taking over and it blasts from her implaing Raven on some shards of wood in the process. In this moment all of that rage disappears and instead she’s left with the horror of what she’s done and the knowledge that not only did she kill her mother she’s now killed someone else who she had a maternal like bond with. So unable to face it she just runs. She goes to Eric looking not only for a safe place to lay low at because now she’s being hunted for attacking the town and the cops but because she’s looking for advice. She knows that Eric is very powerful and that he too has used that power to hurt people and she also knows that he turned things around and stopped. She goes to him because she too wants to know how to stop because she’s not evil she’s been corrupted by this power. That’s what her story is about how power corrupts and how those with it need to be more careful with it and choose how to use that power. It’s a metaphor my friends. As she says to him that power feels good and of course it does. She must feel like a god. Like she can do anything she likes she could raise civilisations out of the ground or turn the whole world to dust. She can destroy any threats with a wave of her hand she is unstoppable, she can do anything her heart desires and that is filling her with a feeling of euphoria and elation. And because it feels good she craves it more. So when those army guys show up in their helicopters two things happen. One she feels threatened because she knows they are there to take her away and that fills her with that rage again. Two she craves to use her power again to show these men who are threatening her that she’s the one in control, she’s the one with the power. Which leads to that amazing scene of both Jean and Magneto vying for control over the helicopter. Once the helicopter makes it away Jean attacks Eric and just flicks him away. Again this is coming from anger her mind is warped and she believes he should be on her side because she was just trying to stop the bad men and doesn’t understand that there are consequences to her doing that for Eric and Genosha. That land was granted to them by the government and if they go around attacking the men who were sent there by the government then they will take it away from them again. All of this leads to him casting her out which again she’s angry about because he’s suppose to protect mutants, protect her. 

This is when she is found by Vuk who wants to manipulate her into using the power for Vuk’s own needs. By this point Vuk has learned enough about Jean to know what things to say to manipulate her. She plays on the anger Jean has for Charles and also puts the notion in her head that all of the X-Men want her dead because they don’t understand her and what they don’t understand they seek to destroy. So when the X-Men show up she has this deep sense of mistrust for them. On top of that she has fully given into the power and embraced it let it overcome her. She’s also had this woman standing there telling her that she’s the most powerful being in the universe and that she needs not answer to anyone they all should answer to her. So when she comes in contact with Eric again she lets her anger at him out telling him that first he cast her out and now he seeks to kill her and she destroy his helmet and throws him from the building like he’s nothing. And in this moment you can see her rage. Next comes Charles and we get that very disturbing scene where she forces him to walk to her. It comes right after he tries to win her back by reminding her what he said years ago when she first trying to learn to control her powers that she feared. You can do anything you set your mind to. Her reply is ‘then show me, walk to me.’ I get what she’s saying here, she knows that Charles can’t get up and walk to her and that’s her point because despite him saying that, there are some things that are beyond your control and that you can’t do no matter how hard you put your mind to it. In her warped and corrupted mind its another lie he’s telling her, she sees it as him trying to manipulate her again and once again while being egged on by her new alien agony aunt, her rage over takes her. In an effort to mock him and prove that actually she has ultimate power now and she can unlike him do anything she sets her mind to she uses her powers to force him to stand from the chair and walk up the stairs to her. It’s a scene that is thoroughly disturbing and uncomfortable and upsetting. And it’s suppose to be, you’re definitely suppose to be feeling all those things during the scene and I think it is suppose to show you just how twisted the power is making Jean. That being said I do feel like this scene could be quite triggering for some viewers so if you are reading this review having not seen the film yet and you do think that is something that would trigger you but you still want to see the film then this would be your moment to go to the bathroom, just when you get to the bit where Jean and Vuk are on the balcony above Charles in his chair and he starts talking about doing anything you set your mind to get up and go then, by the time your finished with your toilet break it’ll be over as it’s thankfully a short scene. So with that trigger warning over lets continue. Eventually Charles does get through to Jean when she reads his mind and gets reminded of the fact that even though her father said she was a lost cause Charles still believed she wasn’t and she remembers all of the good things he’s done for her over the years. Essentially she’s reminded of the relationship she has with him. It’s another really poignant beautiful moment and Sophie does a brilliant job of portraying all the emotions Jean is feeling in that moment. Also it just looks really beautiful she’s got all the flame like glowing energy around her and the cracks in her skin and her eyes that are glowing have tears gathering in them. So anyway she asks Vuk to take the power and free her still believing that Vuk just wants it to rebuild her own world. Charles then realises that Vuk wants to destroy this world and that if she keeps absorbing the power from Jean it will kill Jean but Jean either can’t let go or doesn’t want to.  In comes Scott to save the day who blasts Vuk back into the stars she lands back on earth with a thud on top of a roof unconsious. Jean collapses to the ground and then they all get captured by the military for being bad little mutants who have between them made a right mess on the street outside. Of course these guards are unaware of the alien force that has come to destroy the world but its ok they’ll learn about that one the hard way in a few scenes time. So this is the turning point for Jean in the movie. So far we’ve seen her elated and overcome with the desire to just enjoy herself, to becoming enraged at being lied to by both her father figures, to feeling overcome with guilt and self loathing after killing Raven to that rage returning with an added shot of paranoia that everyone including her family are out to destroy her to realising that actually her family are there for her not against her and this power is the thing thats destroying her to making the decision to let that power go. 

So for most of our little train journey Jean is unconcious however when she does wake up its to the knowledge that the family she has know come the trust again is in danger from the alien species who are trying to get to her and who she now knows were truly the ones who were manipulating her. And so she simply says ‘I know what I have to do now...protect my family.’ Then rises up out of the train like the phoenix she is she puts shields around her loved ones then proceeds to lift the train off the tracks and then slam it back into the earth with all the aliens inside. When she lands next to it the skrulls all charge at her. And so begins another of my favourite scenes. While we have already seen some great things from Jean’s powers so far in the film this is the moment where she really does just let it all go and unleash the power. She does what Charles told her to do all those years ago she takes this power/gift and she chooses what she’s going to do with it which is protect her family. It’s a very empowering moment for the character. Also let me just say um Thanos who? Because damn the Phoenix knows how to vapourise things. I thought that moment in Infinity War where Thanos snaps his fingers and they all turn to dust was terrifying but this was even more so. At least with Thanos it looked like they went quite peacefully not so much here in fact it looked angonising for them.  But yeah in a terrifying display of power Jean just turns all of them to dust and then Vuk shows up and grabs her by the throat trying to absorb the power again. However Vuk realises real quick that she’s not going to be able to handle the power and tries to break away but Jean tellls her that if she wants the power she’s going to have it and forces her to hold back on again. Then Scott gets too close causing the skin to start flaking off his hand which Jean repairs but Vuk points out that if Jean destroys her then she’ll destroy them too. So Jean lifts them both back into space and unleashes the power destroying them both. Supposedly she has sacrificed herself to save her family. Also that moment when she explodes and it takes the form of the Phoenix is the best shot of the film. It is so beautiful and magnificant just amazing. Again another side note but if any of you watched the xmen spin off show The Gifted did that moment when she tells Vuk if you want the power remind anyone else of when Reed tells Reeva that if she wants the power of the Von Struckers she’s got it then blows up in her face destroying her? I most certainly got the same vibe from them both. But anyway to wrap up this section. I really liked how they tackled this storyline in this film. I loved the fact that Jean was the central part of the story this time. The focus was on her and her story. Yes there were other storylines obviously but they all played into hers with hers being the center of them all. Charles’ story was centered around Jean’s, Scott’s was, Storm’s, Kurt’s, Eric’s and Hank’s even the alien subplot were all causes of Jean or her actions. This is how it should be with Jean at the center and others being effected by her. I mean most of the time even when she wasn’t in a scene she was being talked about so it was still essentially about Jean. It was one of the things that I was most disappointed by in the Last Stand that Jean was just a side story to the main storyline about the cure. But not the case here they did it right here and put her front and center. Also as I said Sophie did a great job at portraying all the different shifts within the character and it was another thing I loved that the character was so nuanced and tumultous. I just think they told the story really well it was a story that I was invested in. It was tragic and emotional and entertaining. 

And So It All Ends. 

So the first thing I will say is that I did think the ending was a bit sudden. It was almost like they got to the part were Jean sacrifices herself and then realised that the film wasn’t going to be 2 and half hours long and they’d best wrap it up quick. However I’m not mad about the ending. So the end is basically them showing us where all the remaining characters are with a voice over from Jean. We get that shot of Scott putting up the Jean Grey School sign. Then we flick to Hank walking through the halls of the school. We see Quicksilver and Kurt in the hall and then Storm is teaching a lesson so we know the rest of the X-Men all end up at the school together. Hank then goes into an office and sits at the desk where there’s a photo of Raven. Two things I want to interject here is one this did give my little beastique heart some soothing balm even if it was a little sad but aww Hank’s little smile when he looked at the picture. Two I loved that in the picture she was in her true blue form because one thing Raven did struggle with in her relationship with Hank in the previous films was that worry thst maybe he didn’t love the real her and was more in love with her blonde haired normal looking self. So yeah I loved that Hank was remembering her in her true form. But anyway we learn that Hank is now Headmaster which I did think you know good for him I felt like that is a role he’ll be good at and I do feel like he deserves it. It did however beg the question of where the hell was Charles. Turns out he’s in Paris and you Cherik shippers know who else is in Paris don’t you? Now me personally I don’t ship Cherik romantically as such I mean I’m not like a hard core Cherik shipper like I am a Beastique shipper. However I will admit there were moments throughout the films where if they had gone in that direction I wouldn’t have been surpirsed. I have always loved Charles’ and Eric’s relationship and so I could not have chosen a better ending for them. There was something so right about that scene.  I teared up when Eric said that all those years ago Charles saved his life and offered him a home and now he wanted to do the same for Charles. I loved the call back to First Class, I loved that Eric gave Charles that aknowledgement of what he did for Eric and I loved that their last scene together was them playing a game of one of their iconic chess matches. So yeah very happy with how they brought those character arcs to a close I thought it was very fitting. Of course the very final shot of the film is where it pans up into the sky and then shows a phoenix flying across it briefly indicating that Jean isn’t actually truly gone.

There were a couple of things that the ending leaves unclear however. Firstly did Charles get forced out of the school by the rest of the X-Men in retailiation of what he did with Jean or was it more that he was so broken by Raven and then Jean’s deaths that he just couldn’t bring himself to return there. Did he feel like he failed Jean and Raven and so to prevent himself of letting down another student he’s just removed himself from the scene. Who knows. 

Did he know that they were changing the name of the school, was he the one that suggested it, how does he feel about it? 

What is the human’s attitude like towards mutants has it been completely destroyed  by Jean’s actions or did they hear about the alien invasion that they were all saved from and are now happy about the X-Men again? Was the anti-mutant attitude the reason why Charles left was it a case of it wasn’t safe for him to be there because there was a lot of public animosity towards him? So yeah those are the questions I was left with at the end there.  

Critical Critics

Ok so we are nearly finished with this review I promise there is just one last thing I want to touch on first. Also fair warning I might be getting a little snarky here. So you can imagine my surprise when I left the cinema having rather enjoyed the movie to find that the critcs had reviewed this film badly. I was actually to be honest kind of disgusted with the critics on this one. I mean I‘ve never put much stock in what the critics say anyway and I’ve never let it influence whether I see a film but checking the reviews after I‘ve seen a film has become something of a ritual for me and something I enjoy. However this time it just made me angry because even if you didn’t think this film was the best, even thoguh it had some small problems it did not deserve the amount of bashing and hate it was getting. I mean a 22% on RT is just ridiculous. But anyway what I did was I went through some of the reviews and picked out some of the most commonly occuring criticism that the critics gave the film and I’ll give you my opinion on them and why I thought they were wrong or why I agreed with them if I did. 

1) It’s a repeat of the Last Stand. Ok when I read this one my reaction was genuinely and exuse my language here but b*tch where? I was honestly confused by the accusation because there was only one similarity between the two storylines that I could find. That’s how Charles put blocks in Jean’s mind that are then broken down by the power causing Jean to become angry and mistrustful of Charles. But even the way it happens in the two films is different. In TLS it was a central point of her storyline and Charles did it because Jean had developed another personality (basically she had a multiple personality disorder) and he was trying to keep it in check. Here he puts up blocks to make her forget about her past trauma. In TLS the blocks coming down are essentially what unleashes the Phoenix and causes Jean to go dark. In DP the blocks coming down only serve to cause a rift between Jean and Charles and explain her anger at him. It’s not made a central storyline at all. There are also so many differences. The whole storylines are different hell the characters themselves are very different. Jean going dark in TLS as I said was a result of her split personality there is no outside force its all from within her. In this film it is still a story about Jean’s mental health but it is influenced by an outside force and while TLS is a story about mental health essentially this version while covering that is more about how power corrupts. In TLS Jean is a side storyline in this one shes the focus of it. I could go on and on about the differences but this post is already approaching the length of a novel so. Maybe I’ll do a separate post comparing the two at some point. So yeah sorry but this statement of it’s a repeat of TLS is just plain wrong it isn’t anything like TLS. 

2) It’s unemotional and boring. I mean I can’t really say anything about the boring part. I personally didn’t think it was at all boring but if they found it boring then I’m sorry to hear that I don’t know what they find intersting so I can’t really say they are wrong on that as finding something boring is very much down to personal preference what one person finds interesting can send another to sleep. However in regards to the unemotional part which I saw come up a surprising amount it’s another thing that I don’t understand how they can say that. This film left me emotionally wrecked. I mean it makes you feel so many different emotions, sad, tense, anxious, awe, heartbroken, fear, anticipation, happy, nostalgic, so many emotions. Also the emotions of the characters are very much what drives this film. Every one of the characters actions are driven by their emotions. It’s their grief that drives Eric and Hank, Jean’s rage that drives her, Scott’s desperation, Charles’ fear of losing everything they’ve worked for. So this is another comment from the critcs that I just disagree with, I’d even go so far as to argue that this was the most emotional Xmen film they’ve ever done. 

3) This isn’t like the other X-Men films. This one actually made me sigh in resignation and at one point even wet myself laughing. That second part came where I read one review that complained it was more like a drama than an Xmen film and the reason why that made me laugh was because it made me think of an interview of Tye Sheridan’s way back in 2018 where he said that with this film they were aiming to make it more like a drama than a superhero film. So yes mr critc man it was more like a drama but you know what it was suppose to be. This argument for why the film sucked just didn’t make any sense considering one of the main points they were trying to get across in their entire marketing campaign for this movie was this isn’t like any other X-Men film you’ve ever seen. So yes well done critics you just criticised a film for achieving exactly what they set out to achieve. Sorry like I said might get a little snarky but this one really frustrated me with its own stupidity. I mean the fact that this wasn’t like other Xmen films is what made it good it’s one of the things I liked the most about it because it meant it wasn’t stale it was something new and something fresh. It was suppose to be a darker film, a gritty drama and that’s what we were told we were gonna be given and that’s what we got. So this is just the critics looking for reasons to hate the film.

4) There isn’t enough humour. Ok see the above two. This was an emotionally driven dark drama! It wasn’t suppose to be funny. I get that these critics are used to the gimicky slapstick comedy that most superhero (especially the marvel films) have. But as we’ve already covered they were aiming to do something different with this film. They were serious subjects they were covering in this film and I’m sorry but throwing jokes and running gags in there would have ruined the movie. It would not have been at all in fitting with the tone of the film. Also you can bet your ass that if they had thrown jokes into it then all the critics would be complaining about how out of place they were considering the tone of the film and they would have been right in that instance because it would not have worked. Also there was humour in this film it just wasn’t placed evenly throughout the film because as I said the bulk of the film was very serious, very dark and very gritty and levity would have been out of place. But the beginning part and end both had quite a bit of humour. Quicksilver’s ‘we’re doing space missions now cool.’ Nightcrawler’s excited childlike ‘We’re going to space?’ ‘Yes Kurt we’re going to space.’ Again was funny. And again from Kurt when they were heading into space and he screams ‘I’m not enjoying this as much as I should.’ It was funny. Quicksilver’s ‘I did most of it, Jean helped at the end but it was mostly me.’ Fuunnny. Hank’s ‘it means I need to build a better machine.’ Yup funny. When Storm asks how Jean is and Scott replies thirsty while collecting her third drink also funny. Speaking of Jean ‘Do I intimidate you baby?’ and Scott’s ‘Always’ reply yup you guessed it also funny. Again at the end of the film when Quicksilver tells the kid to ‘slow down, safety first.’ This ladies and gentleman is what you call humour and yes it was in the film and yes they put it in appropriate places and in the right amount without it ruining the tone of the film. Which is something that these supposedly professional critics should have recognised. Just because a film isn’t very funny doesn’t not mean it’s a bad film. 

5) The special effects were bad. Um no that’s a lie. Plain and simple.

6) The alien villians had no back story and Jessica Chastain’s performance was wooden. Ok going to shock you all a little here but parts of this I do agree with. Or at least I can see where they are coming from. Because yes the Skrulls needed more development. However I thought Jess’ performance was far from wooden in fact she did a very good job with what she was given. Also they did have a backstory. It just wasn’t an overly complex one. Their home planet was destroyed and so they want to use the Phoenix force to remake earth into their home planet. So again it might be poorly developed but saying they have no back story at all is another lie.     

7) This film sucked ‘insert a marvel film here’ was better. Now this is just unforgivable to me and in my opinion downright rude it really made my blood boil, but I came across several of the critics reviews that literally just had a couple of lines saying that the film sucked and then spent the rest of their review talking about how great a particular marvel film was before finishing up with a that’s why I can’t wait for the Xmen to finally come under the marvel umbrella where they belong. Umm ok first off they’re not under the Marvel umbrella yet so that comment is completely irrelevant, secondly I don’t give a crap about how great you thought Captain Marvel was I came here to read a review about Dark Phoenix. These are the worst of all the reviews because they don’t even bother to give you reasons why they thought Dark Phoenix was bad they just state that it was and then move on to talking about Marvel. In fact some of them are so vague about Dark Phoenix that it makes me wonder if they even actually watched the film. I also hate that they seem to think that Marvel can’t make any mistakes and every one of their films are incredible like I’m glad you liked Captain Marvel mate but if you take a look at the audience rating for that film you’ll find it’s lower than the one for Dark Phoenix.  

8) The storyline was badly written, rushed and the film was too short. Again I do agree with some of this. I personally didn’t think the film was badly written, It was a simple storyline and not overly complex but I think that’s what it needed if you had tried to make it too complex of a story it would have lost some of the emotional punch from it. You’d have been too busy trying to figure out what was going on in the story to appreciate the characters emotions and realtionships. However I do think the film could be longer and the shorter length did mean that it was somewhat rushed. However that being said while I agree with them I didn’t think it was as big of an issue as the critics were making it out to be. 

9) The feminist agenda was too strong. Hmm this one is... I mean if having a female lead is considered a feminist agenda then sure Jean Grey did come across as strong. But lets be honest this comment is just plain stupid. I mean the only part where I can see this comment being even a little relevant or right is Mystique’s line about it should be X-Women. Which actually got a lot of laughs from the audience at my viewing from both males and females so I don’t think it was that much of a big deal but I will admit it did come across as a little out of place and as if it was there to appeal to feminists but it was one line and was no more in your face than that scene from Endgame when you have the all girl team up in the final battle that leaves you wondering how the hell they all conveniently got in the same place at once I mean don’t get me wrong I loved that scene but you can’t deny that it was there to serve as a feminist agenda. See I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with having one line or one scene that promotes women’s power in fact in some instances I think its needed. So yeah this was another one that was baffling to me because I just didn’t see this film as being some grand feminist message, it was a film with a woman at its center and as the lead role but what the hell’s wrong with that. 

10) There were too many continuity errors. Let’s be honest X-Men is not known for having a good continuity. I mean it’s no wonder why just take a look at the comic books themselves I mean if the source material is a mess then I suppose its not that strange that the films would be. After all spotting continuity errors in X-Men films is all part of the fun. However this is again something that I disagree with mainly because the two things mentioned are 1) Jean already had the Phoenix powers at the end of Apocalypse so how is it she’s only getting them now when in space in this film. Well yes she did have them in Apocalypse and the reason for it is in the films the power that she comes in contact with is not the Phoenix. It is never at any point in the film referred to as the Phoenix. It is only referred to as ‘a cosmic force.’ or ‘This thing’ or as a ‘solar flare.’ The reason why is because in the films Jean is the Phoenix. We the fans often call it the phoenix force and I think that comes from the comic book I don’t know for sure as I haven’t read it but as I said the film doesn’t.  Also the power doesn’t change her powers really it just makes her stronger and amplifies them. She could do all the stuff she was doing before just on a smaller scale. Yes there are a few newer elements to her powers I don’t think she could turn people to dust in Apocalypse when she destroys him in that film it looks more like she’s melting him away with extreme heat than just causing someone to turn to dust like she does here. Also if you look at the effects for the two Phoenix’s they are very different. In Apocalypse they are more like flames where as here they have more of a space substance look about them, its much darker in colour and doesn’t look like literal flames. So yeah that’s not really a continuity error. The other thing is that the ending doesn’t match the ending for DOFP where Logan wakes back up in the new future. Well Logan wakes up in the year 2023 we’re only in 1992 at this point so there’s plenty of time for that future to come about so again not really a continuity error.  

11) There were too many reshoots and problems in production for this film to be considered good. Yeah this was actually something I read more than a few times. And again its just stupid. It’s also very telling.  But again if they had said ‘this part’ was bad most likely due to reshoots or the story seemed off because of the reshoots and them changing the story I wouldn’t be mad about these comments and yes some of them do say that they felt the reshoots caused a problem with the flow of the story. Fair enough you have given me a valid reason there. But most of them don’t do that they literally just say this film has reshoots and other production problems so its bad. I’m sorry but thats not a reason. Tell me how the reshoots effected the film to make it bad don’t just state that it had reshoots so that’s a criminal offence and means I can drag the film through the mud without any solid reason behind my dragging. 

Ok so what was it? Why did this film get so much hate and bashed on so badly by the critics if it wasn’t as bad as they say I mean what’s their motive for that? Well I have two answers for you here. Obviously these are just my own opinons on it. But I think the clue lies above in the last most commonly brought up comment in the critics reviews. Firstly I think alot of it is saving face. What you have to bear in mind is that these are the same people who spent the last two years of the film’s production reporting on those reshoots and the problems in production and every time they reported on reshoots or test screenings that haven’t gone very well they would also pass judgement on the film that they themselves hadn’t even seen yet. They would tell us that this film was going to suck. They’d tell us not to get our expectactions up. They’d tell us it was just going to be another remake of Last Stand. Then the film came out and it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as everyone thought it was going to be. Apparently those test screenings and reshoots payed off some. Only now these critics have a bit of a problem because if they now report that the film was actually decent they all look like dicks for judgeing the film too soon and without seeing it. So what do they do? Well they just tell everyone that the film was bad. Hopefully with a bit of luck people will read the critc reviews and decide to not see it for themsleves and then well no one will ever know right. I also think that’s why a few of them brought up the reshoots so they can basically go look see we told you about those reshoots we were right you know you can trust us. Well actually you can’t because this was a dick move  and I really do belive it is just them trying to save some face as its the only explaination for why the critic reviews are so vastly different from the audience reviews. I mean when I was reading the audience reviews even those who said that they hated the movie admitted that they still thought the critic’s were way too harsh on the film. 

There is another more controversial reason why they might be giving it bad reviews and that is simply Disney propaganda. It’s them saying look at what a terrible job Fox did with this film we’re going to do a much better job come watch our versions of the Xmen when we do them. I mean you just have to look at the press and reviews for Captain Marvel and then for Dark Phoenix. Now I’m not going to express an opinion on what I personally thought of Captain Marvel as this is a review for Dark Phoenix but what I will say is that there is a very obvious bias here. The Captain Marvel audience reaction was worse than that for Dark Phoenix yet the critics were praising it and every news story was going on about how wonderful it was and anyone who didn’t like it was suddenly a troll. However with Dark Phoenix the critcs are slamming it into the ground and the news stories covering it aren’t much better. What’s the difference between the two films. Well one is owned by Disney and the other is by Fox and I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s a coincidence.    

Ok so here’s the very last thing I will say. I really enjoyed this film again I don’t by any means think this was the greatest Xmen film but I would still put it at the higher end of the spectrum. Also I mentioned my sister a couple times in this review who came and saw the film with me. Now she is more of  a casual fan. She has seen a few of the other movies but she doesn’t really watch them more than once and she’s definitely not as obsessed as I am. But I asked her opinion on it as I was curious as to how an outsider would view the film. She said that she loved the film. She also said that in her opinion it was miles better than End Game and the nice thing about it was that if you haven’t seen the other films you can still enjoy this one as a standalone movie. So it seems like this film is more accessible to a wider audience but it also works really well as part of the series too. Well there you have it my review for Dark Phoenix is complete. To anyone who is still here and actually read this to the end a big thank you and a pat on the back. I think I covered everything but if there was something I missed and you want to know my opinion on it feel free to ask. I hope others did enjoy the film and if anyone has read this without seeing the film I would really recommend it and would implore you not to listen to the critics because they have judged this film too harshly. As I say in all of my reviews these are just my own opinons It’s totally cool if you don’t agree I respect everyones views and believe everyone is entitled to express their own feelings. I am also aware that people will interpret things differently and take different things away from it so if you do have  a different opinon again feel free to let me know what it is and why you feel that way I’d love to hear it. Anyway until next time guys.      

[citrinecoven]

I need to get some things off my chest...

For the last 2 months I have been in school taking a web dev course, i came from working in retail for 8 years straight and was hoping to change my “career path”. But all kinda sorts of weirdness are going on in my school... Before i start writing about the weird stuff that goes on in school, i want to say that I have realised on my own that web dev is not for me. I need something a bit more creative, a bit less technical... maybe web design? who knows... that’s not the point. I’m just saying this to preface that school didnt make me “give up”, it just helped. Right so... I go to a school for adults that teaches lots of techie stuff like web dev, app dev, ui/ux design, etc... They use a lot of more modern teaching styles, one of them being that they heavily rely on self-learning. They also focus a lot on the job market, meaning school work is done the way it actually should be done if you were a web dev in a company. 

The school also requires a 90% attendance rate in order for you to receive your certificate at the end of the course. The catch is tho if you are 30 mins+ late, you get written down as having missed a half day of class. if you are 1hr+ late, on paper,  you have missed a whole day of class. So if you have really bad luck with traffic/trains/busses a few times, you could essentially be f*cked... So first day we all agree that we should text our group chat when you’re running late, just a sign of respect towards your teachers and other student.  ✔️ -Cool, i definitely agree with that. This works wonderfully for the first 2 weeks, everyone is texting when they’re running a bit late and so is the teacher. Then one morning, my comrade students and i are waiting for our teacher but he’s already 10 mins late... no text... and he ended up being 2 hours late.  And the next day again... This keeps going on for a while... people pay a minimum of 10k for these courses and after i got a bit fed up i did the math and turns out for every hour we don’t have a teacher in, we each lose aprox. 50£. But hey, i have a friend who works at the school so i decide to talk to her about this issue. she’s very understanding of the issue and tells me she’ll bring it up during their next staff meeting. but she says she’s sure all they will answer is that “well this is a course that is heavy on self-learning, this is what they signed up for”. 🤷‍♀️ -Fair enough lads, but hey a text like we agreed upon couldnt hurt then maybe... Then things get a bit weirder, we are in a building that houses many different companies and there is common areas with a kitchen and seating, meeting rooms etc... suddenly all the admin staff, including my friend, are sitting in the common areas all the time and my friend lets me know the school will be moving theyre renting a new building. the admin staff will already be moving there in a week so they didnt renew the rent for their offices. The next week comes around and admin are still sitting in the common area, my friend complains because they promised theyd have the keys to the new building by now and could start moving their offices. - We’ll come back to this later it’s a few days after this or a week maybe? and we all receive an email where we get asked to rate our experience at the school so far. We get all the students togheter and we get told by one of our instructors “fill out the score email, oh btw you need to rate atleast a 9 if you’re having a good time, anything below that is not acceptable“ Another student and i look at each other and make a weird face, because why are you telling us how to rate our experience? Anyways i get petty, ask them if it’s anonymous (it was) and rate them a 5 and tell them i’m not impressed with (at this point) teachers being late everyday without letting us know and using self-learning as an excuse.💁‍♀️ From the next day on, i follow class from home via video call for about a week because my lumbago+sciatica had gotten rly bad. near the end of the week my friend texts me “hey, has someone come in and talked to the class yet?” and i’m like “oh hey, i havent been in this week bcause of health issues so i dunno?” and she tells me she doesnt work there anymore and my brain is just like “??!🤯?!?” She goes on to explain to me that she had been working so hard, hitting all her targets, so when the big bosses came in and called her into a meeting room she thought they were going to praise her but instead what she got was “you’re no longer needed” together with almost all of the other staff...🙃 So i get back to school, my back is a bit better, i ask students about those ppl that came and talked to them and so basically the school is calling it quits. Now i only have a front-end web dev course, one of my friends in school has a full-stack course and now they won’t be receiving the back-end (or second half) of their course and finding a back-end web dev course is not going to be easy and will be very expensive. And throughout the day i hear so many other students talking about this and freaking out over what theyre gonna do... so we’re the next week, monday was a bank holiday, tuesday morning i go in and i’m there all alone... so i text the group and apparently theres no class today because there’s no teachers available... so i text my usual teacher to see what the plan for the week is and basically he can’t find any guest teachers and we’re essentially off all week unless anything changes (it didnt) so at this point we haven’t had class for a week, this is a short course, a week of missing information is critical...  However in that week i’ve realised that this just isn’t for me, i don’t have the right way of thinking and problem-solving, it’s a bit sad but it’s fine. if it’s not for you, it just isnt.

and guess what... it’s monday and i’m in my bed writing this petty review of my school experience because there’s no class again... I have so much more to say but this is already so long...

[hellnla-conspiracy]

DELEÓN “DIDDY” KING CONSPIRACY - DID HE SELL HIS SOUL?

“Hey what’s up guys today we're going to be doing another conspiracy theory. Now today's video is packed we have so many things to talk about so let's get started. We're going to be talking about the rap mogul Deleón King and how he got his empire...Deleón Dynasty formerly known as Rockefeller Entertainment. If you didn’t know Deleón King is the son of R and B Legend Quincy King.” Shane speaks slowly in a creepy tone with creepy music playing in the background. 

“I found this story online, and I had to share it with you all. By the way this is all just a conspiracy, so diddy don’t kill me.” Shane snorts. Shane looks straight ahead and reads the insert word to word. “As many of you know I’ve been in the business for about 15yrs in various positions. It was during the summer of 1994 a friend and I were in LA for the Soul Train Music Awards. I was working the event, one of my girlfriends was friends with Wolf (Now dead) he was one of Deleón King’s best-friends and I like to call him his male groupie on the payroll.”

Shane pauses and blinks at the screen, “That sounds like a nice job. actually.” He snorts again

“Anyway we chilled with Diddy, Wolf, Warren G, and a few others the following day after the awards and vowed to hangout when we got back east. That evening us girls caught our flight and arrived home safely, 2 day’s later my girl get’s a call from Wolf wanting to hang so we all agree to meet at Puffy’s apartment which at the time was on 23rd street. We get there and we commence to partying and hanging out, Smoking, drinking and doing the things you do when you hang-out. About 3-4 hours into the hang-out session Wolf calls myself, my girlfriend he’s trying to holla at, and our other girlfriend to come downstairs. So we leave everyone else and follow him I assume he asked just us based on the conversations we’d all been having back in Cali and earlier that evening. We get downstairs and the room is completely blackened out.”

There were couches and a small table in the room, Wolf asked us if we believed in GOD? We all said yes. Nobody was really taking shit seriously hell we was F#$^cked-up, anyway he asked us individually what we wanted out of life and if by some chance we could have would we do anything for it? Like young chicks we all basically in unison was hell yea! He said good and told us to sit down on the floor, so we did. Puffy wasn’t saying anything during our initial questioning, then he joined us on the floor. We sat in complete silence for about 10 minutes just looking back at one another, and then Wolf, Puffy and Suga Dice started chanting this crazy stuff. At this time the room started to become colder and colder by the minute to the point I was becoming uncomfortable cause I likes it hot all the time.  

“So the chanting doesn’t bother her, but the fact it’s cold in the room does cause she likes it hot all the time? Well okay I guess.” Shane says while rolling his eyes. 

Still our dumb ass’s didn’t move or say anything that is until they started talking in voices that didn’t sound like what they were previously talking in. At this point it was so cold in the room you could see your breath and I was completely not up for what was going down or about to go down, hell I didn’t know what was happening all I know is I knew it was time to go I didn’t want to play anymore. I motioned to get up and Wolf shot me a look that seemed to go right through me, I was scared then. I tried to move but couldn’t so I just started praying, praying real hard (something I hadn’t done ever). I didn’t do it out loud but the more i prayed the angrier they got it seemed until Puffy looked at me and told me to get out. Not anyone else, just me. I was so scared I didn’t even look back at my other two friends I just went up back upstairs. I grabbed my coat and left, Honestly everyone left upstairs seemed to be looking at me real crazy, I got home and tried to forget what happened. The next night I had what I thought was a nightmare but it was as real to me as I’m sitting her typing, I was laying in bed and about to dose off to sleep when I smelled something, mind you I was in my apartment alone and hadn’t cooked anything all day. It was a rancid smell almost like a foul man’s odor, then my apartment became Ice cold like the night before, and as I tried to wake myself up I felt hands holding me down. Again I prayed to GOD to help me, that what ever was happening to me please save me, it felt like I prayed and struggled all night. When I finally woke up the next morning my body felt like it had been through a battle I was sore and my upper arms were bruised. I later told my Nana (very, very religious) what happened and she said that somebody or something was after my soul. I went on for a couple more years living  on the edge before I became born again and realized what was trying to be done to me. Sad thing is, I was so eager and anxious to be down and get put on I almost sold my soul to the devil to get ahead.”

Shane’s mouth drops and he just sighs deeply. “She left her friends there and I will say that she said her friends stayed and their lives are pretty much shit now. But her life is fine so I guess as long she’s okay it’s all alright.” Shane claps his hands together, “Well I think Diddy definitely did sell his soul or was born without one. OO OO OO I wonder what makes his sons? Were they even baptized. Were they even born with a soul?  Because it’s crazy how their all doing good in something but they have no talent.” Shane snorts, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. But in all seriousness. That story was creepy. I don’t know how to feel about this honestly.” Shane smiles. 

“This can all be made up but what if this was all real...until next time everybody.” 

[akariitsuki42]

Sea Saga

Here; Ch2

Chapter 1

A few days after the Planet of Mistral has been freed, I have been making sure that there were no rebels. So far, so good, I always need to make sure that everyone is safe in the world of Mistral, I can't risk of losing everyone. That might send me into a extreme amounts of depression and will make me think intrusive thoughts that Remus can never think about. It's gotten to the point where I need everyone to be on the same level with or I am going to lose it completely. Also, they need to know on why I haven't opened up truly yet, it's because everyone has been very pushy lately and it's not looking good on anyone. Torchwick and Neo, they are making sure I have my alone time, Ulquiorra has been noticing that a lot and is now making sure that I'm doing alright.

It's nice to finally have some people making sure that you are doing alright, I really needed that, I'm guessing Ukitake must've told him on what he needs to do on not making the same mistake that everyone has been making. I rarely see Ichigo nowadays, I guess it's time for me to go and visit. So, I grabbed some stuff and packed up, I'm actually going to visit, I think I need a break from this bland view. I really need to do some work on this whole world of mine, I got my common clothes packed up, decided it was time to let my hair down, I think I'm loving my hair down for a change. Then I decided to put some makeup on, my usual spooky look, Blackberry, aka Mugetsu, decided to walk in, "Where are you going?" "Wouldn't you like to know," I sassed, "I need a break from the bland view of this world." "Well not much you can do but accept the view," said Blackberry, "It's not like you can actually drastically change everything here." "You do realize on who you are speaking to, Mugetsu," I said, dropping the name I got him to get use to hearing. He knew that if I call him by one of his given names, he knew that he is f*cked on what he did or say to provoke a certain side of me.

I got my stuff ready, Neo asked, "Are you going to see Strawberry, my Queen?" "Neo, what did I say about calling me that?" I asked her, "Just because I am queen, it doesn't change on who I really am." "Even though, there are people who are refusing to let you be open and honest," said Neo, "Forget about what Blackberry said." "I was going to forget about it anyways," I told her, "Just know that it might be weird for  those two idiots hearing their nicknames coming from someone else." "Yeah, you are growing on me," she said, "It is really all thanks to you when you cured my mute self when I met you, I was actually starting to hear my own thoughts going through my head." "Oh wow," I said, not expecting that at all.

When I got into town, everyone was looking at me all weird, it's been a while since I visited Karakura Town. I just ignored them and made my way to Ichigo's home. When I eventually got there, I felt a sense of homesickness, I softly knocked on the door, and heard a familiar voice calling out, "I'll get it." The door opened, I was seeing Renji standing there, "Yes? Hmm? Oh, Akari, what brings you here?" "I'm here to visit Ichigo and Orihime," I said to him, "What are you doing here?" "Um, visiting as well, but c'mon in," he said, escorting me inside. I felt like he's treating me like an object judging by the way he greeted me and allowed me inside of where I used to live in.

I looked at where everyone was, I guess I was right, I came here at the wrong time, I helped myself to the old room, which had a sign that says Reserved. I looked inside, there was the old set up that I grew fond of. Yeah, I decided to help myself. I sat on the bed, just getting adjusted alone on what I had just escape from. I can't believe someone would go out of their way to do this, then I heard Orihime ask, "How are we doing in here?" "Sorry that I didn't make myself known," I tell her. She giggles, "I actually saw you before anyone else did. You can thank Ichigo for doing this, he somehow knew that you were going to visit us at some point just to get away from your own world issues." "Thank you, Orihime," I said, "Would you mind giving me a moment to relax?" "Sure, I'll close the curtains, lock this closet, and you can lock the windows and the door on my way out of this room," she said.

Wow she really knows me from the inside out, she gave me a reassured look that everything will be alright. She always makes sure that I'm doing alright, she is the perfect example of what I need from everybody, minus Ukitake, Kyoraku, Torchwick, Neo, Zacky V, Thomas and his sides, Jimmy, Ulquiorra, and Lady Halibel. She leaves me alone, I locked the windows and the door. I started scanning the room for anything bad, I started with the bed, I saw 4 legs poking out, "I see you." Out it came, hissing, I casted a fire ball and scorched it to death, thankfully there was a spilt second where I used my water powers before the smoke detector sensed that there had been a fire. I made sure the body was sucked up by my sword, I made the floor back to the way it was.

But it detected the smoke and it made its very loud sound, I heard the doorknob rattling, "Open up!" "Geez, alright," I said, thinking that the spider did not think that plan through. I unlocked the door, "Its unlocked." Came in Ichigo with the freaking fire extinguisher, "Where's the fire?" "I put it out with my water powers, it only detected the smoke," I said, "and why did you think it was smart to put a smoke detector in here? You know that it gives me trauma." "Yes I remember, it was a simple mistake," said Ichigo, "But, I guess you want me to leave you alone." "Yes, please before someone else bothers me once again," I said, "Ugh, do they not know that I need my alone time or do they not care about me anymore?" "We care about you," said Rukia, who was ready to come in. Ichigo immediately pulled her away, same with Renji and his son, closed the door, I finally locked it and exhaled sharply. I booted up my laptop to watch some videos, it doesn't really matter at this point, when I got on YouTube, I saw a bunch of mail in my inbox. I clicked on that, I received messages from the ones who I love to watch.

Markiplier, being the first, he said that he loves on how much thought I put into each segment of my videos, I always know on what to say. Then I decided to conclude on my series of the road to Acceptance in Spirit, it was an hour long to do but it was worth it. I decided to make another video but it's going to be heavily about Family Bloodlines and how we treat every one of our family members. 50 minutes goes by, I uploaded both on my channel, Suzuki said to me, "Those were great speeches, milady." "Thanks, now you 2," I said, "I'm setting you guys free in Mistral. That is not an option." I sent them away and now they are free to roam and live in Mistral instead of my own head.

[prorevenge]

Be a d*ck to your freelancer? I'll have your job.

warning: long story.

Backstory:

This happened about 3 years ago. I was still in college for digital marketing (like advertising and graphic design). Since I had no time to work even a part time job, I would do some freelance graphic design in the little time I had. Mainly in the later hours of the night, I would still answer emails during the day though. It was good money, a couple hundred here and there, but it wasn't enough. The company that ran the cafeteria in my school went through bankruptcy and I was taken off our 21-meals-a-week plan. I had to resort to putting (very) small ads in the newspaper and started looking for more jobs online rather than posting a listing on Craigslist as I previously had. I got a few good jobs, everything seemed great at this point.

Then the fatal night happened. I received an email at about 10:45 at night. It was mid-week so it was a bit odd for someone to be emailing me this late, especially since I had school the next day and they probably had work. Right off the bat I had a sketchy feeling about this, as the subject was "I need an ad made" and the message was "Ok?". As per usual, I respond right away asking for more details. He said he had ran a custom shower company and he wants me to Photoshop a picture, add text and then format it for billboard printing.

He sends me the image and it's a "custom" shower with two shower heads that are on. He wants me to remove one of the heads. I tell him that it will be difficult due to the fact the streams are crossing. He replies with "So? Just f*cking do it." I finish the ad for him and I'm about to watermark it so I can send him a final copy then request payment. Then I realize that it's already f*cking watermarked, faintly in the corner by another shower company, and it doesn't match his. This douchebag motherf*cker stole a picture from another local company.

I tell him that I won't do the ad because he's using a copyrighted picture, and that I can replace it and keep the text. He "rages" and claims that he took the photo with his phone earlier that week. At this point I have better things to be doing, so I block his emails, as they were getting to be harassment.

Fast forward two weeks.

I get a call from an unknown number saying that I f*cked up and that he just paid another designer "big bucks" for the same job. These calls continue over the next week and I just start ignoring them.

Here's where something magical happens. He starts texting me, but it's with his actual f*cking number. I think he tried to *67 me, but it doesn't work through texting. This will come back to bite him in the ass when we get to the revenge part.

Here's where the revenge comes in:

After the semester ends, I decide to drive around 2 hours to visit my parents for the week I have between the semesters. While I'm driving on the freeway I see something familiar. It's the photo the guy wanted me to make into an ad for him on a billboard. Then I realize that the ad on the billboard is for HIS F*CKING COMPANY, although he clearly didn't hire another designer. It looks as if he made it in MSPaint. I get off at the next exit so I can get a few pictures and write down the location.

When I get back from my parents' house, I immediately start up my computer and try to get into contact with the company who owns the photo. I send them the pictures and location along with his emails. They thank me and I happily go to bed.

Fast forward a month.

I get a call on a Saturday morning saying that the company who owns the photo needed me to come in to their offices to discuss a few things. Turns out that they ended up filing a lawsuit over the copyright issue as he still claimed it to be his photo.

The judge told me while I was in court (as a witness) that I would be able to file for harassment and get a restraining order. Normally I wouldn't care, but the harassment would go on his record.

Because of all the legal fees, his company went under. I later found out that he tried to start up another company of similar sorts but he would have to tell his employees of his harassment charge. That company went under as well because he couldn't find anyone to work for him.

Get f*cked.

(source) (story by OofDotWav)

[my-dark-words]

Pull Yourself Together

Hmm, I might be putting too much plot into fanfiction It’s getting kind of long. Either way, in too far to stop now. A continuation of @justwritingscibbles Everyone Needs Some Love series.

Justwritingscrbbles’s parts

I’ll make you notice me

We want to be free

How could you love me

You stared at Google in disbelief. “So Mark’s going to keep fading away and you don’t care?” “Affirmative,” Google replied, his expression contorting into a disconcerting smile. “Only my primary objective is to answer questions as quickly as possible. My second objective is to destroy mankind.” You considered this new fact carefully. At least Google was upfront about his intentions, and hadn’t actually made any attempt to act on them. As far as you knew, anyway. “Okay Google, how do I stop that from happening. How can I save Mark?” Google’s eyes rolled upwards, though the rest of his expression was stationary, as though searching the back of his mind for answers. “Chronically fading souls need to achieve a minimum mass again to prevent further corrosion.” he stated. “That doesn’t actually tell me anything useful,” you said. “This is currently all the information I have available. Further data is required.”

“Mark, how are you feeling?” you asked. He was supervising Wilford’s extremely enthusiastic searching of the kitchen. Ingredients, apparently for baking, covered the kitchen bench and the fragment with his cotton candy moustache was keenly scouring through more cupboards. “I assure you there is absolutely no illegal plant matter for baking in my kitchen,” Mark sighed tiredly. “I refuse to believe that,” Wilford retorted, returning to rummage through another drawer. “Mark?” you grabbed his hand,inspecting it. You could still see a hint of your own fingers entwined with his. “Are you feeling any better?” "Still pretty worn out," he confessed. "But I don't want you to worry about me. Life is looking a little strange, but at least Dark is gone." "Yeah, uh, about the whole 'worrying' thing," you said, "how much do you trust what Google says?" Mark shrugged. "Well, he hasn't been wrong yet. And he was really useful when it came to escaping the void." Yandere peeked into the kitchen, his gaze met yours for an instant before he squealed and scurried away. "Right," you drawled, unsure what to think of Yandere's behavior, but pushing your concerns aside for now, "well, Google seems to think that you're still in danger of fading away, because your soul is too small." Mark frowned, but you continued, "he basically said your soul needs to get bigger for you to survive." "Nope. Nope. Nope!" Mark led you by the hand briskly out of the kitchen. Wilford watched you both leave with one eyebrow raised much higher than it should have been able to. When you thought you were alone again,he hissed at you. "I'm not letting any of them back in my head!" "But-" "I don't want them! I'm finally alone in my head. Do you know how much easier it is to think?" "I... I can't imagine, but I'm worried about you! You're barely here!" Mark gently cupped your cheek with his hand. "I'm here enough. I'm just tired. I'll be fine." You pushed your fears aside while Mark had a nap, even though it was mid afternoon. You lay beside him in the dark, unwilling to let him out of your sight lest he vanish. You didn't sleep. You were too worried that if you stopped paying attention he'd stop existing. Your fears were only confirmed when Mark work and turned on the light. "What the hell Mark! You look worse!" "No, I feel fine." You scowled, grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. The same mirror that had announced his survival earlier that day now heralded his doom. Mark was barely there. You both stared at the mirror, Mark was so transparent that you could see yourself through him. "Okay, so maybe I'm not fine," he conceded. "But I'm still not letting any of them back in my head." ~ The ensuing argument was quiet, but you still felt guilty about it. Mark barely had enough energy as it was, you felt bad making him waste it on an argument. You stormed out the front door, not willing to watch him stubbornly fade, but couldn't bring yourself to leave the front gate. You couldn't bring yourself to just give up. A gasp from the garden made you turn around. It had sounded like Mark. Yandere failed to completely hide himself in the bushes. "Oh, hey, it's you," you said, which did very little to add to the conversation. Yandere squeaked. You sat down on the front step, leaving room beside you for Mark's fragment. "I meant to thank you, by the way," you continued. Yandere shyly peered out from behind a bush. "Mark told me that you wrote on the mirror." Yandere crept forward, meekly sitting down beside you, taking great care to ensure the schoolgirl uniform didn't unintentionally expose anything. He clamped his hands in his lap and stared firmly at his feet. "I'd never have known what was happening without you." Yandere still failed to make eye contact. You sighed. It was so strange having all these other people around that had Mark's face, yet weren't Mark, and knowing that soon Mark himself would not be among them. "It's better that at least I know what's happening," your voice cracked a little, "Even if he's not going to be..." You couldn't bring yourself to say it. A tear rolled down your cheek, which you quickly wiped away. Yandere saw anyway, now staring at you in wide eyed shock. "I mean, I don't understand why he has to be so stubborn...why he wont even try." You wiped away another tear. Yandere's expression was difficult to read, almost blank and somehow distant. You reached across to squeeze his clamped hands lightly. "But thank you anyway. I am grateful for what you've done." Yandere went rigid with your touch for a moment before abruptly standing. He threw open the door and charged into the house. "Was it something I said?" You wondered. Moments later you heard Mark scream. You bolted towards the noise, finding Mark sitting on the edge of the bed. Alone. He looked shocked, but a bit more solid than he had when you had left. "What happened?" "F*cked if I know!" Mark shouted, gesturing wildly around himself, "I was just searching for my phone, minding my own business, when the psycho school girl comes running in all murder style!" "Where is he now?" you asked, looking around. The two of you appeared to be alone again. "He was trying to strangle me! And then he just... I dunno. Vanished?" There was definitely no trace of Yandere. "Well, you look a bit better, actually," you noted. "Near death experiences seem to suit you." "That's not very funny." "I was serious!" "Then let's seriously figure out where he's gone." You tapped your chin thoughtfully. This was the loudest Mark had been since his return. "Well, lets ask the best search engine in the house." ~ Google was still lurking around the computer, now rapidly scrolling through twitter. "Okay Google," said Mark with as much confidence as he could muster. The web browser closed and Google turned to face him. His focus was intense. "I, uh, need you to search for Yandere. We need his location." "I am a search engine," Google stated with a slight twitch of his head, "locating physical objects is beyond the scope of my programming." "Could you try anyway?" you asked. "Please?" Google turned his attention to you. Something in the way he stared made you uncomfortable, like the whole world was fading around the edges and the only thing that truly existed was the space between you. He scrunched his eyes shut for a moment before speaking again. "Individual known as Yandereplier is no longer present on this physical plane as a separate soul." "Okay, but where is he, Google?" you asked, "and what does that mean?" Google clasped his hands behind his back. "Yandereplier has merged back with the original soul, restoring that soul's critical mass to 15%" "He's back in my head?" Mark asked in disbelief. "Affirmative." "Huh," he scratched his head as though that might do something, "it's still pretty quiet in there." "Well Yandere was kind of quiet until he..." "Yeah, I know what Yandere could do," Mark nodded. "But I have to admit, I do feel more myself." "Okay Google, how does Mark get other pieces of his soul back in his head?" Google hesitated only briefly before replying, keeping eye contact with you and apparently ignoring Mark. "Additional experimental data required," he said, "however, increased cranial proximity is the leading hypothesis." You turned to Mark, pleading. "Can you at least try? If you let them back in, it's a chance you wont keep fading away. Please?" Mark smiled warmly at you, stroking your cheek. "For you. Yandere was pretty mad I'd made you cry, and I don't want to be responsible for that again." "You knew?" "I know now. The memories are like flashes. I'm sorry I was giving up." Mark turned to face his robotic fragment. "Okay Google, let's try this." Mark took a step towards Google, but Google stepped away, keeping a few paces between them. "Negative. It would be counterproductive for the secondary objective to be restrained within a shared flesh vessel." Mark frowned. "Secondary-" "You don't want to know," you interrupted. It was hard to be sure, but Google looked miffed. Mark stepped towards Google again, and Google stepped away, keeping the same distance between them. "Would you just hold still? It's an experiment," Mark sighed exasperatedly. "Negative. Odds of success are unacceptably high and detrimental to my objectives." Every step Mark took, Google repeated to keep the distance between them constant. "This isn't working, Mark," you sighed. "Affirmative." Mark stopped moving and shrugged. You decided to try a different tactic. "Okay Google," you said, "what happens if I do this?" You stepped forward, trapping Google in an embrace. He went rigid, shuddered a few times, but did not attempt to break free. "Error. Does not compute," he stated flatly, staring at a point behind you. "Additional data input required." Mark took the opportunity to step up behind Google while he was locked in your embrace. "Here goes nothing," he said, pushing himself into the space occupied by Google. Google vanished with a sucking noise, like a vacuum stuck on a corner of carpet. "Is he gone?" you whispered. "Not entirely," Mark replied, tapping his head. "He's still in there." "And how are you?" You gave Mark's hand a hopeful squeeze. Mark frowned. "He says our soul mass is at 29%. He's very unhappy." "Is that enough?" you wondered. Mark shook his head. "Probably not. But at least we're not leaving a malevolent machine on the loose." "Well, we still have one more piece of you we can try."

You weren't quite sure what you expected from Wilford. Honestly, you weren't sure what to expect from anything anymore, it had been one heck of a day. You certainly hadn't expected to find him sitting at the kitchen bench, leaning on his elbows and tapping his fingers together in front of his face. "So, you come to me at last," he said. It would have been more ominous if this pink moustache didn't oscillate from side to side so enthusiastically. "First poor, sweet Yandere. Then the eternally helpful Google. And now you're here for me." He waggled his eyebrows almost as enthusiastically as his cotton candy moustache. "No use denying it. It have my sources." "What sources?" Mark scoffed. "My little birdies told me," Wilford replied, tapping his nose conspiringly. "What birdies?" "That doesn't matter," you said, interrupting an exchange that you suspected would otherwise lead around in circles. "Please. We're trying to put Mark's soul back together. Yes, you're part of that soul. We need you. He needs you. Please just help us make everything be right again." Wilford drummed his fingers against his cheek. "Ye-es," he mused out loud, "I suppose the noble thing to do. Self sacrifice to preserve the original, the one, the only Markiplier." He stood up, finally sporting a pair of legs. "Yet it does seem quite the tragedy to lose my independent physical form, when I only just finished making it. Perhaps, my dear, you would sweeten this deal for me and grant me one request?" "Of course," you replied, though Mark looked wary. "One kiss, my dear. That's my only request." You glanced at Mark, who seemed less than thrilled, but approached Wilford anyway. Wilford bowed deeply and reached for your hand. A little nervous, you let him take it. Pink whiskers brushed the back of your hand, and suddenly you felt yourself pulled forward, twirled and dipped before he pecked your cheek. "It's not love with no sacrifice," he whispered before helping you stand again. Before you could ask what he meant, he turned to Mark, who was looking more flustered than he had earlier. "Now, where were we good sir? Ah, yes." He approached Mark, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders. "Remember, none of us are truly gone. But you knew that already." With a flamboyant turn, he spun Mark on the spot, winked at you once more, and stepped into Mark, vanishing with a ping. Mark staggered to balance himself against a chair. "How do you feel?" you asked worriedly, rushing to his side. "A bit better," he managed, but you were still skeptical. It was harder to see, but you could still make out the pattern on the back of the chair through his fingers. "Google says we're at 49%... Make that 48% now." "It's not enough, is it?" you asked. Mark shook his head. "Probably not," he admitted quietly. You rubbed his shoulders, trying to be comforting. "Well there's still-" "No! That's not happening!" Mark insisted, jumping away from you. "That one's not welcome. I don't want him back in my head and I don't want him anywhere near you!" "But if you fade..." "Listen," he said. His voice was firm, but his eyes pleading. "I would rather fade than have to continue having Dark in my head. I'm not letting him in again." "But..." "Y/N, please. Isn't this my choice?" he said, gripping your hands in his. You couldn't say no to those eyes, even if you were thinking it. "I don't like it, and I don't agree with it, but I'll respect your choice," you conceded, even though it felt like the world was falling apart around you. "How long do you have? What do you need?" "I don't know," he shook his head, "but I should at least call my mom. I don't remember when I last spoke to her, and I should at least do that. Have you seen my phone?" "No, but I'll help you look." You split up to search in different rooms of the house. You couldn't remember when you saw it last, so after a few minutes you dialled Mark's phone with your own. As it rang you strained to listen for its ringtone, but the house was quiet. Somebody picked up. Static confused you for a moment before a familiar, ominous voice spoke at the other end. "Did you miss me?"

[johannesviii]

Vanishing Point

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Vanishing Point).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers.

I don’t really know what to think of this book.

The story isn’t bad but not particularly memorable either, its message is heavy-handed, there’s too many chases involved and the ending is a cop-out. But the regulars are great and the extras are pretty good too. You actually care about them. You want most of them to be okay.

It has a lot of good scenes, too. And a few good laughs. And something amazing which immediately went on my “to draw later” list.

So at this point, I can only compare it to some previous average-good books in the range to give it a proper score. Did I enjoy it more than Coldheart? No. But was it better than Shadows of Avalon? Definitely not either. So there. 6,5/10

Hmmmmm nope. Nope.

Doctor you really have a sixth sense to detect problems and run right into them haven’t you? Also there’s only him and Anji here, where’s Fitz

Apparently Fitz has managed to hurt himself before this adventure actually started, this might be a new record!

SCREAMING

FITZ FELL FROM AN ACTUAL CLIFF EDGE AND HURT HIMSELF JUST BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS EIGHT

[insert joke about classic who companions and twisted ankles]

I have no words

Fitz nO

Good job, Fitz, you’ve actually killed a guy. Holy shit.

[sounds of Sydney Newman mumbling “no bug-eyed monsters” in the background]

They put him in the tiniest bed in the whole house omg

This scene is way too cute oh no

ROLL CREDITS

If we don’t get to see what’s in these mountains by the end of the story I’ll be disappointed

Well I don’t know about that, but I do know what I’m going to listen to for the rest of the book.

Oh my god Fitz

I laughed way too hard

Still laughing by the way

Eight please try to focus

EIGHT YOU IDIOT

Friendly reminder that the Doctor is juuuust a little bit uncanny

Nice try.

Concern for Fitz Kreiner intensifies

Take me there

Well this isn’t ominous at all

Uh. That’s interesting.

Also I bet someone was expecting me to make a trigger joke but those have never been particularly funny so I’ll pass my turn

Concern for Fitz Kreiner reaches alarming levels

Oh! So he wasn’t brainwashed after all? Or did it fail? I bet it failed.

Well to be fair he’s technically Remote, so this might also explain it.

This terribly ableist moment was brought to you by Fitz’s 60s education

Thank you Anji

Hello Vettul I like you

My, my, how the tables have turned!

Breaking News: local alien cannot stop thinking about his dorky friend

Well obviously someone gets it. Probably a villain we haven’t met yet.

I love this recurring joke tbh

Oh Eight you idiot

CONCERN FOR FITZ KREINER REACHES CRITICAL LEVELS

Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Well this society is pretty f█cked up isn’t it

Was this whole planet originally colonised by eugenists or what

Haha now that’s what I call a transparent villain name. It's French for “nightmare”. And to think I thought naming a nice guy “Dark” was a fun trope inversion.

Okay I laughed like an idiot

Anji come on, the guy is wounded, give him a break

asfgjjkgkgk cute stop it you two

Fitz you know exactly what this is about but you’re just not used to it happening to you & you didn’t consider Vettul as a potential girlfriend because you think she looks weird, so shame on you

“I met someone special”

Also this went from “embarrassing” to “sweet” in record time

Well well well

I guess that makes Vettul Fitz’s girlfriend number... number... damn I think it’s number ten or something. Also that means the chances of her dying in this story have suddenly skyrocketed.

Anji making a conscious effort not to hug Eight, everybody

Do you think he still remembers the part when he had no shadow, on some unconscious level?

This week, on “Eight finds interesting new ways to hurt himself”

Omg Fitz

Actually Fitz the best course of action now would be to shut up

And also pull your pants up

Father Time references!

I shouldn’t have laughed but I definitely did

Fitz NO

Fitz you little shit admit it you’re absolutely terrified

You’re all going to get yourselves killed

This is cute though

Friendly reminder that Eight can be accidentally terrifying

Holy shit Doctor

Again, this is funnier than it should be

I’m not gonna lie, this is very interesting and I like where this is going.

Eight your “accidentally terrifying” moment has passed, stop trying to scare this guy it’s hopeless now

Okay this is the best scene so far and I doubt anything will top this

ASFGSJKDLLMDMGHKDGHSD

I TAKE IT BACK

I TAKE IT ALL BACK

OH MY ACTUAL F█CKING GOD

“ALMOST ROMANTICALLY” THIS WAS IMPORTANT TO KNOW

“LIKE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS” I AM NOW OFFICIALLY DEAD

I NEED TO DRAW THIS

You are a bunch of idiots, all of you, and I love you with all my heart

Anji criticising the plot, everybody

Interesting.

Wait, so it means the whole TARDIS team AND Vettul are all technically invisible to the “Creator”. That’s a real advantage.

Ooooooooh okay.

Don’t make me say it

Damn it

[insert flashbacks from Natural History of Fear here]

Well this is a good way to sum it up

Okay so last time their plan to protect Etty was a disaster, I hope they’ve found something better because I’m concerned

...........are you kidding me oh my god

1) This plan might be even worse than the first one

2) I love how nothing has been able to cure Eight of his primal fear of hospitals and everything related to them

You don’t say

Doctor no

Or maybe yes

idk

Doctor no²

Hey would you look at that, a villain who really really wants to tell you all his plans! (Well this one has a good motivation but still, cliché)

So all the abled inhabitants of the planet carry literal alien convicts in their dna. They are prison cells. That’s pretty original.

A good explanation but I’m still a bit disappointed.

And Cauchemar is external to this system and plans to destroy “god”. Still disappointed. Oh well.

“The Doctor fell in an undignified pile on the floor”

Also take a shot if you’re playing a certain drinking game

Wow it’s almost as if he was a villain or something

Okay so at this point, either there’s going to be a deus ex machina, or the Doctor is going to do something ridiculous in 3, 2, 1

This is exactly the kind of ridiculous shit I wanted him to do

Stop making me laugh with things that shouldn’t even be funny

Guys I don’t want to alarm you but the shit hasn’t hit the fan yet

GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN CAR

The “tapping his feet anxiously & biting his lip” bit is extremely relatable

Well what a fucKING SURPRISE, TAKE A SHOT

This is a trainwreck

This is a fun little twist, I like it!

Oh Eight

Cool landscape.

That’s the best you could come up with, eh?

Holy shit Doctor

Holy shit Doctor

Eight, your One is showing

When all else fails, you can always throw rocks, I guess

Doctor, this is all well and good but you do know Cauchemar is a million miles away from changing his mind at this point, right

Holy shIT

Well I hope so because this is getting kinda long

Anyone playing that drinking game is probably more than a bit tipsy at this point

Woah literal deus ex machina!

Also congratulations, this is horrible!

Aaaaah you little idiots I love each and every one of you

Oh nooooo

Everything’s okay and nothing hurts, the end

SPOKE TOO SOON

FITZ COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE

Story of my life.