#and it was fucking sickening. i put myself in many uncomfortable situations because i'd been taught to fear boundaries | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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Man, one of the most soul-wrenching realizations for me in recovery has been that the reason I was so bad at making boundaries wasn't because I was a coward. It was because it was a trigger. Every time I did make and enforce boundaries, I was pursued and chastised, and I was treated even worse afterward. I felt like I was such a failure of a person because I didn't know how to say "no," and I never learned how to say it without being convinced I would be treated horrifically.

All this to say that boundaries are so important. If somebody is stomping on your boundaries and treating you worse because you have boundaries, you are being mistreated, hell, you are being abused. If you are afraid of making boundaries, that is likely a sign. You aren't at fault. You deserve boundaries. You deserve to be treated right. I hope nobody treats you like your boundaries are an attack or challenging them to stomp on them.

#recovery #abuse #abuse tw #this is why i'm starting to force myself to stop sugar-coating my boundaries at this point #and i'm starting to make myself be okay with saying 'no'#and i'm starting to do that with this blog too #i used to feel like i *owed* it to people to have no boundaries.#and it was fucking sickening. i put myself in many uncomfortable situations because i'd been taught to fear boundaries #and i'm tired of that. i would rather have a panic attack after making a boundary because the other option has proven to be worse #anyway i won't stop posting about recovery i think i earned the right to be obnoxious about this because nobody else will be doing that

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