#and it talks about how to be healthy you have to respond not react- acknowledge emotions AND thoughts. not judt blindly react to feelings

[randomthefox]

Tangle is a terrible girlfriend. I don't understand how anyone can look at her relationship with Whisper and think it's cute.

Tangle has yet to fight or threaten anyone who's harmed Whisper by the way. I'm pretty sure Tangle basically tells Whisper to just take it until the perpetrator is finished. Lmao at all the fan art of Tangle getting angry at Surge.

And why is everyone fine with Lanolin attacking Whisper? If it's bad when Surge does it then it's also bad when Lanolin does it.

I don't understand idw stans.

Whisper is a pretty terrible girlfriend too honestly. They aren't a good couple at all. Whisper is too traumatized to be in a healthy functional relationship with another person. Because of her experiences she's extremely emotionally distant from everybody. Her initial reaction to meeting Sonic and Silver was to run away. She probably goes extremely long periods of time without even speaking at all. She's damaged goods.

Take this moment for example.

Now they're about to blow up and die, so I don't blame Whisper for prioritizing their safety from the bombs over anything else right now. But Tangle is extremely claustrophobic (a trait that was invented for this storyline and is never mentioned again but we're not talking about how dogshit this comic is right now). She was JUST trapped inside of that vault and was suffocating through a panic attack because of it.

So after the threat of death has passed and they're safe, this is what happens.

Whisper doesn't display ANY concern or sympathy for Tangle whatsoever. She doesn't reach out to comfort her. She doesn't offer her any support whatsoever. She doesn't even acknowledge what Tangle went through. Instead she just sends her away, something that Tangle reacts to like she's just been punched in the stomach. Not a very reassuring feeling to be hit with after going through a phobia experience.

Now you might respond to that by saying "that's not fair! Whisper is only sending Tangle away because she's concerned about her! She doesn't want to lose another friend! Whisper is speaking out from her own trauma and just isn't expressing herself in a healthy and articulate way because of the pain she's carrying!" And you'd be right. That's sort of my whole point.

TANGLE is the one who needs emotional support after what she just went through. TANGLE is the one who is mostly a civilian and almost died, TANGLE is the one who is claustrophobic and was locked away in a vault and who suffered through a deeply traumatic experience because of it. TANGLE is the one who needs to be comforted right now.

But because of how broken Whisper is, Tangle ends up needing to be the one who comforts HER.

I am so NOT okay with this.

Part of being in a relationship is give and take. Compromise. Averaging your misery. You need to be able to carry someone when they aren't able to walk on their own, and allow them to carry you. Whisper is unable to do that. Whisper always makes everything about HER and HER PAIN. She never communicates her feelings to others. She never allows Tangle to have any input whatsoever. She still operates as a lone wolf, making her own decisions for herself that she thinks is for the best without considering anybody elses feelings.

I'm not saying that Whisper is a "bad person" for this or anything like this. This is all completely understandable given her past life experiences. I'm not criticizing her actions or saying that she's being written badly for any of this. This is all compelling drama for her character.

It just makes her extremely bad girlfriend material. Tangle is not going to get ANYTHING out of her in a relationship. Any and all of Tangle's own burdens and needs are going to be completely and totally neglected and everything is going to need to revolve entirely around Whisper. That is not a healthy relationship. Whisper needs to work on herself before she can get anywhere close to being an equal and worthy partner for literally anybody. Let alone Tangle, who is her own walking disaster.

WhispAngle is a TOXIC SHIP as presented within the text of the comic. No ifs ands or buts about it.

[blvcklizard]

Hyde never bothered to tell his Eves a lot about the details of how a contract worked, let alone things about himself. It wasn't like he was keeping secrets, but what did it matter? They'd be dead soon anyway, they didn’t need all that info. It was no different with Licht, in the beginning anyway, and some things just never came up later, you know?

Now, Hyde knows some German, naturally; not that it mattered, he'd understand Licht anyway, and Licht usually doesn't talk to him in German either. He only seems to when he's stressed and not paying attention; the first time was when they were running late to a concert, a half-hearted insult about hurrying up, and Hyde didn't bother to respond. Licht, however, seemed to have expected a reaction, or at least drew the conclusion that Hyde doesn't understand German, because he started voicing minor frustrations in German more frequently, obviously not expecting Hyde to react. And Hyde being Hyde thought it'd be hilarious to see how long he can fool Licht.

Except that over time... things change a bit. What Licht says gets softer, contains less and less insults, all while the way Licht acts towards him or the things he tells him in English or Japanese don't change in the slightest. Hyde was able to brush it off long enough (acknowledging your emotions and dealing with them in a healthy way? never heard of her), but the stuff Licht mutters under his breath is getting... more intense, and it may only be a matter of time until he confesses his love to him or something. And Hyde is once again stuck in a situation where he absolutely missed the point to tell Licht the truth, and gets to use his full acting skills to keep up this facade.

Guil decided it was better not to tell Crantz about the translator. It's enough that one of them has to watch this disaster.

[loversj0y]

am i the only one who has a boiling hatred for fanon ghostbur?

Like--- I'm neutral about canon ghostbur.

But i really really hate how so many people went as far as saying that Ghostbur was all the good parts of Wilbur.

That is just so wrong---- ghostbur has the good memories, but not all the good parts. it just drives me nuts.

ghostbur wasn't good for c!tommy or anyone coping with wilbur's death

it wasn't his fault, but people need to stop depicting him as they do

ohohoho i specifically waited to get to this until i had my laptop because i love me some character analysis! so. lets talk ghostbur!

disclaimer: these are opinions, i didnt write the character, this is just how id analyze ghostbur and audience portrayal of him

so something i think people dont note about ghostbur a lot is the fact that he is not wilbur in a much more real sense than people realize. something that revivebur kind of touches on but people dont really note (in my opinion) is the way the memories and your actions during memories actually shape you as a person. ghostbur could never be all the good parts of wilbur because without the negative memories, he could never have knowledge of how he can be good in negative scenarios, like being good towards tommy in darker times. this is one of the biggest things that makes ghostbur not healthy for the characters around him, and why wilbur being revived is so important to wilbur's overall character arc

ghostbur is the image of wilbur if he never dealt with significant problems, never caused problems or engaged in them, because he only has good memories, he's never seen himself in a negative situation (think to how ghostbur reacts to philza telling him fundy wants to be "adopted" by someone else (i cant remember who at the moment))

when people tell him of his own negative consequences, he literally cannot react in a way of genuine remorse. he feels guilt because he learns that the living version of himself did those things, but he cant actually give any apology that would be beneficial to anyone involved. ghostbur cant apologize for something he cant remember doing because he doesn't know why he acted in those ways.

we can contrast this with when revivebur tries to later apologize (im thinking particularly to fundy) and how when fundy asks why he did those things, he tells him about how he wasn't well mentally. even though fundy doesn't accept the apology (in a very. drastic way), revivebur can actually acknowledge his own motivations, which allows him to actually have a chance as being forgiven.

ghostbur doesnt know any of those motivations, which is why his character is unhealthy. he is literally a ghost of the man he once was, so even though people want genuine answers, before knowing he was going to be revived, they had to realize that ghostbur is basically a punching bag for them to push their issues with c!wilbur onto because ghostbur cant actually respond in any meaningful way in terms of remorse and forgiveness.

also, as for the audience portrayal, i think people got very caught up on the "sweet ghost boy" image rather than what he actually is and how he actually affects the characters. he literally haunts them and reminds them of all the trauma c!wilbur gave them, while knowing that he can't actually answer for any of it because he doesn't remember hurting them

its a very famous philosophical argument (i believe by kant) about the concept of "if someone has no memory of committing a crime, can they actually serve time for it?" because if you have no memory of doing something, can you actually learn from and grow from your experiences?

because ghostbur cant. and thats what hurts the people around him so much. people like c!tommy and c!philza who geniunely care about c!wilbur and want him to be okay know that ghostbur is not that answer because he can't grow from memories he doesnt remember playing a part in, so it hurts to see someone you love be constantly stuck in place of never being able to grow and never being able to answer for all the things you want to ask.

ghostbur is so important to c!wilburs arc because he reminds people not to seek justice on those who can't answer for it. some people actually recognize this, some don't, and some just avoid him like a plague because it hurts.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Hello hello:)

It’s CMA-

Note to the other anon who mentioned me: omgggg hi!! I didn’t think anyone but dream read these LOL (they’re so freaking long) but I’m so flattered that you enjoy and read them! thanks for the shoutout:) 🫣🥰

Here for a GoS reread part 2 lmao let’s do this:

(actually this is like my fourth time rereading but shhhh just go with it) (picking up at the beginning of chapter 6)

In chapter 6 he talks about protecting clover and making sure no one can harm a hair on her head. He doesn’t strike me as a violent person at all, which is part of his appeal, so I wonder how he’ll react to meeting her parents and/or someone who tries to harm her.

(note: I had to delete like five paragraphs here because I realized I’d already said the exact same thing to you last time I reread LMAO)

Clover does the quintessential trauma dump and run in chapter 6, which is something a lot of people do, but it’s just funny to see in action (it’s actually something therapists see lot. Someone will go the whole session with idle chit chat or whatever and dumps the heaviest shit in the final five minutes then leave lmao) (I joke but it’s a real thing that happens and ngl I’m guilty of doing it too)

You know what is funny is the fact that in chapter 7, fainting is seen as a huge deal, which seemed like an overreaction when I first read it before I remembered that they didn’t really have medicine in those days the way we do now. Someone could faint because they had a stroke or they could faint because they have low blood pressure and they never knew which it was.

I only say that this is funny because then consider what was one of the most socially acceptable actions for young ladies to take when around someone they fancied? They swooned aka they pretended to faint. Here’s a time where they had no idea if someone fainting was the end or not and they just went ahead and pretended all the time for shits and giggles. Idk there’s something ridiculous but also hilarious about that- it makes an already preposterous thing seem even worse

(I feel like I had this revelation in passing with Anthony because he was always paranoid about something happening to cherie and freaking out whenever someone he loved fainted, but now I’m realizing that this fear doesn’t just apply to him)

In chapter 7 when teddy is concerned over clover fainting and very solemn, this is a great example of how adult emotions affect children. Teddy wouldn’t have known to be concerned if their aunt hadn’t freaked out, and her panic and concern translated over to his behavior, though he manifests it differently.

Idk I just thought it was interesting because I was just having a conversation with my mother who believes that as long as you don’t tell children something bad is going to happen, they’re never going to worry or pick up on the adults emotions, and so as long as you tell them everything is fine, they’ll believe it and turn out healthy.

I wish I could say that this is a frankly ridiculous claim (because it is) but a lot of people believe it, so it’s nice to see that particular nuance of children’s behavior picked up on in this story, and that you portrayed a great way of how to react to their fear. You can’t stop them from being afraid when the adults are because you can’t control your own or any adult’s emotions and ways that they behave, but you can change how you respond to your own fear and the fear of those, including the child, around you.

It’s also unrealistic for them to avoid fear and they need to learn how to deal with it because it will teach them emotional regulation and self control, and help them to manage themselves when they do encounter fear better. Clover’s response is a great example of what to do in this situation; I feel like it was take straight out of a textbook on the perfect way to respond. Denying and trying to shield them from fear doesn’t work; acknowledging them and their feelings and teaching them how to respond appropriately does.

(I’m so in love with her response if you couldn’t tell lmao. Listening to him, acknowledging his feelings, explaining the situation in a calm, rational tone and child-friendly language, giving him perspective, reassuring him that despite the problem, things will still be okay, giving him something to do as a reaction to what he is feeling, etc. 12/10 no notes)

Okay sorry for my mini rant, I just see too many adults in my line of work telling children ‘it’s nothing’ and ‘don’t worry about it’ and ‘I’m totally fine! Nothing’s wrong!’ to not get annoyed lol.

Wait I’m not done- this is also why I’m not concerned for teddy’s mental health. Despite her own mental health struggles, bad habits, and faults, clover is actually great at demonstrating healthy emotional regulation in front of teddy (most of the time- when she has her anxiety attacks when he does something wrong, it’s not always the best, but that’s not her fault and to be expected). Like even though she’s bad at practicing the things she’s teaching teddy, she’s still great at explaining and guiding him through them, it’s just a matter of her applying these lessons to her own life.

But yeah with a great role model guiding him through these lessons, teddy is building a strong foundation despite his rocky start.

For all of her talk about wanting to marry an old man and the fact that she expects him to hit her, if it actually happened she would be a total wreck. I think she’s lying to herself just as much, if not more, than everyone around her, trying to reassure herself that she’d be okay if the worst did come to pass. This is probably obvious to everyone else but I just realized it lol. She could never handle that happening; I feel like it would’ve broken her…

There’s this Netflix movie called to the vine about a girl with an eating disorder. It’s a really interesting look at severe mental health concerns imho (but if anyone is considering watching it, they should be very careful about being triggered because it is an upsetting movie). Anyway, I only mention it because when the mc hits rock bottom, she has this sort of hallucination/vision of being her future self and seeing herself as she is at this moment, and her future self is…. Appalled isn’t the right word and neither is aghast, but kind of horrified and sad and pitying at the state she’s in.

I’ve mentioned this term called anasognosia(?) before in relation to this story, but the definition is a person who cannot perceive the severity of their own condition. It’s seen a lot in very severe mental health cases, such as people who lose their ability to care for themselves and think they don’t need help, including those with eating disorders. It’s also seen in people who’ve sustained chronic trauma- they’re completely desensitized to their own condition and the severity of what’s happened to them. They lack perspective, they dismiss concerns because it’s normal to them.

I would even argue that it’s a survival tactic- victims would have a break down if they had a severe response to every trauma and wouldn’t be able to cope if their brain didn’t protect them by desensitizing them to what’s happening. But it’s people on the outside who are the ones who have to convince this person to seek help, and also to realize that this isn’t normal. It’s a hard realization for people to have, and if their case is really severe, they may not even be able to do that until they get out of the situation and heal more.

It’s a double edged sword though- how do you heal someone who doesn’t know they’re hurting?

I only mention it again (mostly because I’m fascinated it but also) because clover is such a great representation of that feeling. She genuinely does not understand the position she’s in and has been in. I do wonder if when she gets some healing, if she’ll be able to look back at where she’s been, and how she would react to that.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she went through the five stages of grief during the revelation; she kind of already is in the denial stage. But she would be grieving her own childhood, the childhood she should’ve had, what her parents did. She would be angry and frustrated (understandably) as if she’s only just now realizing what happened (because she kind of is).

(fun fact about the five stages of grief: they don’t actually progress in any particular order and you can also cycle through each one multiple times, and also not everyone goes through every single one every single time they’re grieving something. Idk a lot of misconceptions about them, which isn’t really relevant but kind of interesting if we do happen to see any of these with clover)

Idk I’m wondering if her parents showing up will push her to this place where she goes through that.

(also I’m totally not projecting lmao (lying). I feel like I go through these revelations like once a year where I go from ‘oh yeah that happened it’s not a big deal’ to ‘hey it’s kind of fucked up that that happened’ lmao)

Okay so I got distracted by looking for handkerchiefs (lmao) so I’m going to end this one where it’s at and send it in. Upon rereading though I’m like 99% sure I’m just regurgitating the exact same thoughts I sent in the first time and during the subsequent rereads LMAO sorry I have a shitty memory

Okay bye love u lots; see u soon for part 3 <3

Hi my loveeeee! 🥰❤️

Awww you two are so sweet! 🥰

Yayyy chapter 6, let’s gooo❤️

I actually have lots of ideas about this! Like, you’re absolutely right, Benedict is not a violent person at all but I also feel like Clover became his red-line so to speak? So while he is usually very calm, if someone tried to harm Clover, Benedict would not hesitate to attack that person, he would absolutely snap 😏

Aw I love reading them! 😍

Lolll oh it happens with me too sometimes, the conversation gets very serious all of a sudden 😂

Fainting was very popular those times😂 Which is very dramatic but also yes, they really didn’t have the knowledge we have now! 😁

Oh yeah, Anthony being paranoid when it comes to that….😏 Aw I miss Anthony and Cherie! ❤️

Wait it really is interesting! ❤️ Because I also believe children can actually like feel it, especially when it comes to other people worrying around them. And I do feel like it is important to both acknowledge their feelings and console them in a calm way, which Clover really tries to do -and I think she learned it from Josie🥰

Aw this is really nice! ❤️ Clover wants Teddy to have a much better childhood than she and Josie did😭

I actually do agree, if it did happen it would break Clover 😭 She expected the worst but it didn’t mean she was desensitized, she was still very afraid of even the possibility💔

Wait, do you mean “To the Bone”? I watched that one! 😱 It’s been a while though…

I can totally see that in her character, like she honestly isn’t even aware of just how traumatized she is and I think it will take her a long time to completely heal ❤️

I didn’t know that about the stages of grief! 😱 I thought it happened in a particular order! And it can happen multiple times? 😱

My love, thank you so so much for this! 😍❤️ You’re wonderful, ILYSM! ❤️❤️❤️

[energy-healing-with-jen]

TODAY'S LEARNING Channeling Your Emotions

Channeling emotions effectively is a skill that can transform personal and professional interactions, strengthen relationships, and even improve mental well-being. Emotions, both positive and negative, can be powerful motivators or destructive forces, depending on how they are managed. By channeling emotions, you can turn overwhelming or complex feelings into constructive actions and insights. Here are practical steps to start channeling your emotions in a healthier way.

1. Identify and Acknowledge Your Emotions

The first step in channeling emotions is identifying what you're feeling. Emotions are often multilayered; for instance, anger may mask sadness, frustration, or insecurity. When you take a moment to recognize your emotions without judging them, you gain a better understanding of their origins. Try naming your emotions—whether it’s anger, joy, anxiety, or excitement. Studies show that acknowledging and labeling emotions can help reduce their intensity. Journaling or talking to someone can also provide clarity and help you notice patterns over time.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques

Once you've identified your emotions, practicing mindfulness helps you stay grounded rather than getting swept away by the intensity of your feelings. Deep breathing exercises are a quick way to regain control when emotions become overwhelming. Techniques like the 4-7-8 method (inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale for eight) help calm the nervous system, allowing you to pause and think before reacting. This space between feeling and reacting is crucial—it gives you a moment to choose how to respond rather than acting on impulse.

3. Find Healthy Outlets for Expression

One effective way to channel emotions is through creative or physical outlets. Art, writing, music, or dance can help you process emotions in ways that words sometimes cannot. Physical activity like running, swimming, or even going for a brisk walk can also release pent-up energy associated with strong emotions, particularly anger and frustration. These outlets allow you to express emotions constructively, giving them a release that doesn’t harm you or others.

4. Challenge Your Thoughts and Perspective

Sometimes, emotions stem from thoughts or assumptions that might not be accurate. For instance, you might feel unappreciated at work based on a minor oversight, which can spiral into feelings of anger or resentment. By questioning your assumptions and considering alternative perspectives, you can prevent emotions from escalating unnecessarily. Cognitive reframing, a technique often used in therapy, involves examining situations from different angles, which can defuse intense emotions and help you see things more objectively.

5. Set Boundaries and Communicate Openly

When emotions arise in relationships, channeling them effectively requires clear and honest communication. Setting boundaries and expressing your feelings constructively helps you assert yourself without lashing out or bottling up emotions. Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel hurt when…”) instead of “You” statements, which can sound accusatory. Open communication allows others to understand your perspective and reduces misunderstandings, creating healthier and more empathetic interactions.

6. Reflect and Learn from Experiences

Reflection is key to emotional growth. After you’ve channeled an emotion, think about what worked well and what you could improve upon. Did you manage to express your feelings effectively? Were there moments where you could have handled things differently? Reflecting on your experiences helps you become more emotionally resilient and better prepared for similar situations in the future.

[renemesis]

if you got overwhelmed, how would your f/o(s) try to comfort you?

OMG forgor I still havent answered this one... really awesomesauce one tbh I'm the king of being overstimulated so 👍🔥💥 LETS GOOOOO

Ok so. I think all of my f/os would try to help to some degree. But the definition of "helping" ranges greatly and can be anything from making accidentally ableist 'encouraging' comments to having sympathy meltdowns JCJGJSJJGJD no goodness um. I think the ones who would handle me getting overwhelmed the best would be like... Dusa, Elliott, Raul and oddly enough Eric?? (They're not the only ones good at comfort but. Yknow .)

Dusa would definitely get sympathy jitters but all about healthy communication and finding good solutions/alternatives to problems so. Yes she is a quirky eccentric decapitated gorgon head BUT SHE'S COMPETENT!! She'd give the good ole steady breathing and "name five ___" distraction and reality anchoring tips it's so her I feel it. In my soul. Its obvious though that she's also struggling a little but like in a cute way. Like shes trying so hard and doing so good but it ends up being almost a mutual comfort situation but it's so sweet and funny that it works out in the end 👍👍💗💗

Elliott I think would worry alot but would mask that worry in favor of providing comfort and verbal assurance! Would acknowledge that the negative feelings are completely valid and understandable and would offer to leave the situation in question if possible/necessary, or just continue providing comfort unto the feelings pass. I don't think he's like. Not in the loop abt mental health or 'proper coping mechanisms' but he's a flowery poetry talk guy I can't exactly imagine him doing like cliche therapy talk at me yknow... hes just so♡♡♡♡ yeaj

Ohh Raul. Ok I very much do not imagine him being like Elli or Dusa whatsoever like let's be real here. That's not him. But also he's been alive for over 200 years and has loved and cared for people for just as long like he KNOWS ok. He's all about being honest and acknowledging the truth of the situation no matter how bad it is but nothing he says or does is meant maliciously or to make the situation worse. He's just stating what's happening so we can get past the situation quicker! So he'll give his input, offer solutions, and give assurance that no matter what choice is made he'll still be there no matter what (in his own sarcastic kinda well-meaning shithead way lol) like he's a well meaning realist who's cynical but loyal yknow... he also provides more classic comfort if needed but in an awkward old man way and I think that's so awesome 💖💖💥💥

Ok and Eric. Well um. I'll be real with you he's not a meathead or emotionally incompetent but he's so bizarre. He's so bizarre and ridiculous and especially after his death and resurrection (and the following immortality gained from it) he does not react at all like he mightve while still being a normal human. Like he COULD offer good ole physical affection or words of wisdom. And sometimes he does. But he could awfully make an awfully timed joke about the cruelty of the world or what death feels like or how he last killed a man. And like it's so out of nowhere that it makes the situation feel so ridiculous and instantly just washes away the previous negative emotions bc. How do you RESPOND to a goth zombie murderer vigilante saying whatever is going on in his mind?? Then he'll just laugh like yaay glad you're ok do you wanna feed the local stray cats now :3 LIKE HE'S SO??! And obviously I'd say yes. It's great it all works out♡

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY TWENTY-SIX

Signs of a healthy ego. A healthy what?? What an interesting discovery! Of course, I am not claiming to have originated this concept. I only recently found out about it when talking to a dear friend of mine.

So, a healthy ego huh? What defines a healthy ego? I had to look this up.

A few side notes before we get into the signs and my interpretations.

*We all have ego, whether we like it or not.

*We all need an ego to function in this world.

*Not all egos are the same.

*Take a full inventory of yourself for the purposes of education and improvement, not shame or discouragement.

Loving it so far! So there is a healthy ego, is the unhealthy ego defined in more detail? Sure is! A weak ego signals a lack of self-worth, talking down to yourself, and people-pleasing. A big ego is lots of confidence, self-worth, and pride but it goes overboard eventually leading to conceit. Both weak and big egos share battles with insecurities and seeking validation. Interesting!!

Moving forward, a healthy ego encourages authenticity. A healthy ego tells the world: -it's ok to accept your authentic self. -it's ok to embrace your authentic self. -it's ok to love your authentic self.

As the signs are mentioned and interpreted, you have the option of asking yourself if you already have these attributes and need to sharpen them, or if you need to attain and develop them in general. Here we go!

Sign #1: "Admitting when you are wrong or making a mistake."

My Interpretation: Accountability = Growth, Growth = Maturity, Maturity = Evolution. Accountability, growth, maturity, and evolution as a human being. We often rob ourselves of this by placing blame elsewhere when we fuck up.

Sign #2: "Making decisions without the fear of judgment from others."

My Interpretation: People will judge regardless and their bitter little opinions mean nothing when you don't give them power over you. That being said, just do what's right; just do what's right for you.

Sign #3: "Responding instead of reacting."

My Interpretation: Responses come from critical thinking while reactions come from emotional triggers. Honor your emotions but never allow them to make decisions for you. Even the happy ones will miss important details.

Sign #4: "Creating boundaries, even with those you love the most."

My Interpretation: Gotta love yourself too though! And a part of loving yourself is protecting yourself. Boundaries guarantee us safety. Doesn't matter if the situation is small or significant. Boundaries help! Even good people can hurt and disappoint us sometimes, we're all human here!

Sign #5: "Admitting you need help when you need it."

My Interpretation: No unhealthy sense of pride, just the acknowledgment that life is tough sometimes and many of us often need a helping hand. "Takes a village," right? So, no unhealthy sense of pride and no thinking you'll be a burden either. I bet the person or people you wanna reach out to has needed help at some point throughout the course of their lives. And they more than likely care for you more than you realize.

Sign #6: "Acknowledging and appreciating beauty in others."

My Interpretation: This can help ease feelings of jealousy and shows us directly that someone else being intriguing or attractive doesn't depreciate who we are, what we do, or what we look like. Diversity is wonderful anyway. How boring this world would be without it.

Sign #7: "Celebrating the success of others."

My Interpretation: Plain and simple: We celebrate others until it's our time. Nothing more, nothing less. We should never expect what we aren't willing to give.

Sign #8: "Listening with an open mind and heart."

My Interpretation: Go beyond getting defensive or offended and see where the other person is coming from. We are all human, not enemies. Better understanding often paves the way for compassion.

Sign #9: "Confidence in your abilities."

My Interpretation: It's knowing you worked hard. It's the absence of comparing yourself to others, the absence of insulting others. It is simply the act of believing in yourself. It lets you live more fully by allowing more comfort despite going out of your comfort zone.

Sign #10: "You realize perfection does not exist."

My Interpretation: No unrealistic expectations, no unrealistic standards. Those two things are frequently pushed on us by society, but the raw truth is we are all flawed and there's just no sense in striving or stressing over what no human being can achieve. Perfection is not a reality for any of us regardless of socioeconomic status.

Sign #11: "You believe you are enough."

My Interpretation: It's all about chasing your goals and dreams without delays or distractions. Approval from others should never inspire you. Instead, your determination to get shit done should inspire others.

Sign #12: "Embrace your real."

My Interpretation: Screw blending in. Why fall into the crowds like a star when you can stand out like the moon? Make your own wave and own it. You are a person, not a mass-produced object. There's only one of you! Unique, rare, original, and special. Don't hide yourself away.

More thoughts later.

[loversdelusions]

How would yandere Erasermic(poly) react to the reader not talking to then and ignoring them after kidnapping her but silently crying in the night in private

EraserMic | ♥ Ferberizing ♥ |

Buy me a coffee !

"Shouta," Yamada could have stumped his feet, though he knew overly childish actions don't entertain or amuse Aizawa, and they definitely didn't help convince him to allow Hizashi to do what he wanted with you. Really there was rarely anything they seriously fought about. Normal squabbles were a regular occurrence, but this was different.

They were at odds with what to do with you.

You didn't respond to anything. It was expected at first, Aizawa had reassured Hizashi of that a lot in the beginning. But now, you were so nonresponsive it was actually beginning to startle him. He wanted to be rational, but he couldn't be responsible when it comes to you; It was you. It couldn't be helped.

"We can't run to her whenever she is adjusting, she has to know we aren't her servants, she needs to understand--"

"She isn't eating," Hizashi interrupted his partners bullshit logical speech. "I don't fucking care about what she thinks. I want to see her smile again."

"You will." Aizawa tried to reassure him, he was struggling to stay calm himself, "I promise, you'll be fine, and she will be too."

"But she isn't even doing anything! She's not moving at all! She doesn't talk to us, I need her to adjust quicker." Hizashi was irritated. It wasn't whining, it was a mixture of anger and concern for you, he needs you to be healthy, "We did this, we risked everything, so we could love her correctly. Now, look at us," His hiss was bitter.

"What do you propose we do?" Aizawa tried to bite back his yell, he didn't want to blow up at Hizashi, it's not a fault of his to worry, but why did he want from Aizawa? He couldn't do anything!

"I don't know.." He sighed. "Should we talk to her?"

"No. We can't." Shoota decided while he watched your door. "Maybe we should ferberize her."

Yamada paused, turned to give his partner a death glare. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Okay, maybe that wasn't the choice of words he should have used. After that, he could not stop Yamada from entering your room. Aizawa didn't stop him, he only stood at the door, watching him interact with their new cute tiny new kitten.

Yamada knelt by your side, even though you completely ignored him, making sure you didn't spare him a glance. "Kitten, honey, please talk to me, I can't handle your silence anymore!" Hands held your shoulders, forcing you to turn and look at him. "Please, I'll do anything, honey. We'll do anything."

Aizawa saw your eyes shift, hesitation present in your form.

He wanted to warn Yamada not to promise things they couldn't do. It was too late, though. Because his partner was too emotional to stop, he just had to let it go for now, and deal with all of his shit later. Aizawa only tsked, worried that his boyfriend was overplaying his hand for something as irrational as gaining your approval.

"Come on, please, Y/n, honey." His smile was reassuring, even though Aizawa could tell that he was struggling to hold in his emotions. Contrary to common belief in the community, Yamada was a cold person when angry, he was ready to take action immediately.

Aizawa knew Yamada didn't know what to do with you.

Neither did he, of course, what could he do, really? Hurting you wouldn't encourage you to talk to him- it would make sure that you barely acknowledge them. It was eating at him. He was getting irritated because he knew you were lying.

He knew what you did at night. He knew when you look for escape opportunity and it doesn't pan out, the way you cry.

He was annoyed because you weren't being rational. All they wanted to do was make you feel better. But you never let them.

It made him fucking angry.

[tommybaholland]

hi hi!! i just wanted to start this by saying all your pieces are literally *chefs kiss* do you think you could do Sk8 boys with a s/o who’s not used to affection but they’re slowly starting to warm up to the boys? and how the boys would react to that? idk if that made sense fhdjdjd have a good day!! <333

sk8 boys + when their s/o is touch starved

yes, it does make sense as the sentiment resonates personally, anyone else? thank you for reading<3

reki enjoys a good, healthy amount of physical touch with the loved ones in his life, including all his friends so it was quite the adjustment for him after finding out that you’re not super affectionate. he used to think that you didn’t like him or something when you would move away from him when he’d get close or flinch when he would try to hold your hand or put his arm around you. he’s not the best about confrontation and his words come out all jumbled up when he asks you about it, “so i’ve noticed that you kind of shy away when i touch you? which is fine! i, i don’t want to force you or make you uncomfortable but just let me know if i’m being a creep, okay? or i mean--” he was obviously nervous but sweet about it and you just explained that you’re slow to warm up with touch. he breathes a sigh of relief knowing that you’re just as into him as he is for you, possibly more. over time, you become better with accepting his affection and eventually get to the point where you’ll just slide your hand into his or find your spot in his arms. he remembers being surprised but content by your closeness, “oh, well hello there, snuggles.” 

langa wasn’t too affected by the discovery of your aversion to touch but that doesn’t mean he had never noticed and questioned it. being an only child, his parents gave him a lot of love and attention, his mom still doing so today with regular hugs and kisses. he figured that maybe you were just awkward as he could be sometimes when it came to relationship stuff. however, there was one time when he tried to hold your hand as you walked side by side and you reacted by pulling your hand away quickly. it stunned him a bit, making him stutter in his reply as you apologized, “no, no. it’s okay. do you…not like to be touched or…are my hands cold?” you respond by saying that his hands are fine but his first assumption wasn’t wrong at all. you just weren’t used to the affection but hoped that you could get better over time and acknowledged him for never forcing or resenting you for it. at this point he’s confused by the gesture, “why would i force you? that’s not fair to you. we can start small if you want.” you agree and he holds out his hand again which you take this time, your grip getting tighter every few minutes as you walk the rest of the way home. 

joe is naturally a very flirtatious, touchy-feely type of person so there was no hiding from him. at the same time, he had never been with someone who wasn’t hanging all over him, which was somewhat refreshing for him. not that he doesn’t love attention but it can get exhausting at times. on the other hand, he can get needy and starved for affection, especially with someone who he’s really into like you. but he’s known to just start cozying up without warning, assuming that you’ll follow his lead. each time he’s done it, you’ve responded rather negatively either by shifting away or asking him to move over a little. he’s slightly confused but luckily he knows how to use his words, “babe, are you okay? i’m sorry if i’m coming on a bit strong, i just want to hold youuu.” you decide that it’s time for some real talk and tell him about your lack of experience and exposure to physical affection, therefore making you feel weird about it. if anything, this makes everything better for him as he sees this as an opportunity to better himself as a committed partner, promising to ask before touching you until you’re more comfortable. “i’ll probably end up corrupting you….haha, just kidding. may i wrap my arms around you?”

cherry shares a similar vibe and doesn’t display a lot of affection but he’s in no way unloving, he just understands boundaries. out in public, he keeps it more professional and tame but when you’re in comforting privacy, he wants to give you a little more attention. he likes to try to massage you like trying to pull your legs into his lap to rub your feet or rubbing the back of your neck and will ask first but you’ve declined every time. he’s bought the first few excuses you’ve given but then things just weren’t adding up and you seemed off, leading him to wonder what was wrong, “dear, is everything alright? you just…won’t let me touch you, which is completely fine if you’re not comfortable but i just want to take care of you.” you think he’s very sweet and clearly would like to understand so you help him by explaining your plight with affection. as expected, he doesn’t try to change your mind and accepts what you’ve told him. he reassures you by saying that he will always ask before touching you and you don’t have to feel any pressure to say yes. you feel lucky to have him in your life, making you feel safe and validated. you would be willing to work on being more open about touch so that he can love you properly. 

tadashi would very much be on the same level in terms of physical affection, which was nice because neither one of you felt forced to change that. he enjoys the company of your presence but there are times where he’s wanting to have you in his arms, hold your hand, feel your touch. he’s not sure how to initiate such interaction and knows that you wouldn’t receive it well. he feels like now would be a good time to have a talk with you about his intentions, “i would like to learn how to show you my love for you if that’s okay with you. we can learn together, my lovely.” you’re hesitant at first, sharing that you’re afraid of giving all of yourself when intimate relationships are known to be futile. he understands your fear, knowing it very well but he offers up compromise, “you don’t have to give all of you or any of you to me but i love you all of you and wouldn’t mind sharing that love with you.” you’re close to tears at his sincerity, nodding your head in agreement. the moment seems to call for a hug, making you slowly gravitate toward one another before ending in an embrace. he closes his eyes at the warmth that he feels from your body pressed tightly against his, making him never want to let you go.

until next week, wild card...anything you want to see next??

[angry-geese]

Fluorescent Adolescent

Itadori x Reader x Sukuna

Warnings: sfw. platonic/romantic (interpretable). some minor swearing. mostly fluff. mention of violence. poly (sort of). Gn!Reader

Notes: Yuji and the reader have a movie night together. Sukuna decides to tag along

Nights at home were rare.

There’s not a lot of downtime when studying to become a sorcerer. Gojo was always sending you off on jobs that his students were very much not ready to handle. The line of work doesn't really follow a set schedule. Curses rarely exorcise themselves.

You haven't even graduated and you already wanted to retire.

You wanted to do something to celebrate your time off. Yuji suggested a movie night. You had nothing else in mind, and it sounded nice. The two of you thought about inviting Nobara. Movies weren't really her thing; she had other plans anyway. It wasn't often you got to hang out with just Yuji.

Gojo side-eyed you when you asked to borrow a movie. Your first mistake was asking him. The last time you borrowed one from him, the disc had been switched out with a porno. It took Yuji quite a while to figure out what was wrong. Nobara couldn’t pause the thing fast enough. Whether he forgot, or he did it on purpose, you’ll never know. You have the sneaking suspicion he meant to do it. When you gave it back the next day, Gojo never questioned why Yuji couldn’t look him in the eye.

Maybe that’s why Nobara passed on this one.

Eventually you settled on a horror movie. You're not quite sure what it was about. It looked gruesome. The cover had fake looking blood all over it. Despite being a jujutsu sorcerer, you were a wimp when it came to things like this. In the heat of the moment you could deal with it, but when it came to movies you were squeamish. It didn't matter how many times you told yourself that it wasn't real.

In the other room, the microwave beeps. The smell of burned popcorn fills the room. He likes his burnt; you can't stand the stuff. Two bowls had to be made. Both with a healthy dousing of salt and butter. Not the powdered stuff either; the real kind.

"You're going to miss it!" You call out.

"No I'm not!" Only a moment later followed by: "maybe I am!"

Yuji flings himself over the couch, just in time for the movie to start. Popcorn spills over the sides of the bowl, onto the couch and floor. He shouts "five second rule" before popping one into his mouth. Immediately you tackle him. He’s a bit stronger than you, and easily struggles free. It takes you nearly sitting on him to stop him. You have to pry the rest of the floor popcorn out of his hands like someone fighting their dog for an item it shouldn't be eating.

"Are you going to stop?” You ask. “Or are you going back for more the second I let you go?"

Weakly he nods.

The moment you let go of his wrists he’s lunging past you, reaching for it. In one swift motion you have him under you, pinning him to the floor.

The movie starts off with a creepy looking scientist, and two women stranded in a forest. You admit defeat, and collapse on top of him.

"Man I got hit so many times over this one," he offhandedly mentions.

"What?"

His response is a grunt.

If he says something out of pocket, it's best not to acknowledge it. He could write an entire novel about his life and barely scratch the surface. It’s almost impressive at this point.

It intrigued you, though. There were about a million questions you had for him. Asking one only brought up a hundred more.

The first thing you learned about Itadori Yuji was how he was Sukuna’s vessel. The second thing you learned was that he was going to die.

You were told not to get attached. Against almost everyone's advice, you did. So did many others. Yuji was truly strange. He didn't have the look of a man given a death sentence.

You often wonder how you'd react in his situation. Maybe you'd go to your death with a lot less grace. But there's no way of knowing until it happens. You like to think you'll go out in a blaze of glory.

Your interactions with Sukuna had been few, and only in passing. Aside from stories, you don't have much to say about him. Generally you aren't around when they switch. The one time you were, they didn't stay switched for very long. It still made you wonder. Since they shared domes, could Sukuna see everything that went on in Yuji's daily life? How much control did they really have over each other?

Sukuna would often switch out with Yuji while he slept. You expected that. He was unpredictable, and a bit of a prick. He's the king of curses after all. What more would you expect from a demon? Strangely enough, he never did anything. It wasn’t a proper switch, more like a particular hand or leg was taken over. Sometimes he'd knock things over, or hide Yuji's things, but he was never much more than an inconvenience. The guy could be a menace, sure, but he wasn't nearly what you expected.

He lays his head in your lap. Instinctively your hand finds his head, gently carding through his hair. It's strangely soft. It feels nice between your fingers. Sometimes you wonder if he dyes his hair, or if it's naturally like that. Come to think of it, you've never seen a baby picture- or even a childhood photo.

It's almost horrifying how quickly Yuji began to doze off. You sat there the entire time in wide-eyed horror. Maybe a bit of disbelief. If he feels the way your legs tense underneath him, he says nothing about it. He's snoring in no time. He can't help it, your hands feel so nice in his hair.

Unfortunately, you had caught Sukuna's attention too.

Nothing went on in Yuji's life without Sukuna listening in. Every little detail about his day to day life was known by Sukuna. Most days he didn't care to listen in. Unless there was a fight, or something to piss off, he wasn't interested. He was the first to realize how fond his host was of you. Immediately he started plotting all the ways he could hurt Yuji with you.

That plan was cut short.

He's not sure when it happened. Slowly you became worth something to him. Your strength was promising. If you continued on your path you could prove to be a truly frightening sorcerer. He found your will to fight impressive, albeit naive. At first it was a reluctant respect. You had promise. He could use that. Either against your or against other sorcerers, it didn't matter to him. You'd work in his favor eventually.

There was one moment that stuck out. One where his feelings went from a general distaste to fondness. You were fighting a curse, of all things. Although it didn't hit hard, it could shrug off a lot of damage. It wasn't particularly strong, but it was tough, and smart, proving to be a pain in the ass to everyone involved. With a snap of his fingers he could have exorcised it. But he didn't. Watching you two fight it was much more entertaining. If his host was killed, he'd simply bring him back.

Something went wrong. He's not quite sure what. The moments went by like shots out of a badly filmed movie. One scene. Then cut. Then the next scene. Then cut.

You're clinging onto his arm, asking if he's—Yuji—is okay. You weren't even hurt, but you were soaked in blood.

His feelings for you weren't disgust, or hatred, or even pity. It was something much worse. If he was capable of liking someone, it would be you. Sukuna could never imagine himself feeling this way for a human.

He hates that.

The affection he feels isn't love in a proper sense, but that's the only word for it. A creature like him isn't capable of love. He's the king of curses, he'll never lower himself to the level of humans. He'll never view you as more than a pet, but he cares for you in some sort of way.

Sukuna's affection comes out as bullying. Well, as much as a lone mouth can bully someone. You've learned to tune him out or brush him off. He's harmless around you. Yuji seems to keep him on a short leash. His bark is far worse than his bite. At least to you. You really can't say that for any unfortunate bastard that decides to piss him off.

Jokingly, you began referring to Sukuna when talking to Yuji. It was only to make him roll his eyes. Everyone hated when you did that, because usually Sukuna would respond. You tried to see how long you could get him to talk before he realized you we're screwing with him. It usually took a while.

Yuji's snores have gotten awfully quiet. The movie is less terrifying than you expected, but it makes your stomach churn. His eyes are open when you look down. They aren't Yuji's; they have a different look in them. Sukuna’s eyes have no humanity in them at all.

Both sets of Sukuna's eyes are focused on the TV. You're not quite sure when they switched. He made no show of it. One second he was Yuji, the next he wasn't. His hand rests on your knee, his thumb gently rubbing across your skin. He feels a bit colder than Yuji. You can’t help but wonder if it’s a curse thing or just a coincidence.

You try not to stare for too long.

"This is boring." He says. "You find this scary? Let alone entertaining?"

He doesn't like seeing you distressed, even if it's directed at something that isn't real.

"Yes, thank you," you say.

Maybe if you keep scratching his head he'll stop talking.

"Why do you like these? Clearly you don't like being scared." He says.

"Keep talking and I'll stop playing with your hair."

His sharp nails dig into your skin. "No."

"Then I suggest you stop talking,"

He sulks. It’s almost impressive how quickly you get him to back down.

He's a bit like a cat; the second your arms are tired and you need to rest, his fingers are digging into your skin. He doesn't want you to stop. The moments where he wants affection are ones where you can't—or don't want—to give it to him.

It's almost a competition between him and Yuji. His host is always so open with how he cares for you. You’re very affectionate towards each other. You’re affectionate towards all your friends. He finds it sickening. He wants your attention to be on him and only him. Yuji is only competition. Unfortunately for him—and you too, let's face it—they're a package deal. Sharing isn’t exactly a skill he has.

He shifts so he's sitting up, his head resting against your chest. Your heartbeat drops off for a second, before picking up in pace. You rest your chin on top of his head. Your hands find his hair, brushing it out of his eyes.

It's not long after his breathing evens out.

His head nods, eyes half shut, gaze still on the tv. You're so warm, he notes. He doesn't remember human contact feeling this nice. However hard he tries to fight sleep, it's no use, he can't stay awake for much longer.

For now, he would settle on sharing you if it meant he could have moments like this.

[runningdownthatroad]

Okay seriously, if there was nothing else that was revealed in this case evidence wise, if I didn't hear either AH's or JD's testimonies or the witness testimonies, or the recordings except for that one text thread, I would know AH is the abuser automatically. What thread you ask? What Camille pointed out today: "Not go to bed mad?"

I already knew (based on those recordings when I heard them when they were made public before this trial) what kind of person she was, how abusive she was, but holy shit. This is exactly what psychological/narcissistic abusers do. They follow you from room to room, they don't let up for one second or a minute for you to cool down or get a thought to yourself, they talk you in circles and they will adapt their tactics/attacks to however you're responding/reacting. You beg them to stop, they keep it up. You yell at them, they gaslight you and ask why you're getting so upset. You refuse to talk to them, they taunt you and follow you. You start to cry, either they continue to gaslight and taunt you or if they feel they can get you back under their control and submitting to them, sometimes they might try to play the nice person, hug you, and tell you how much they care about you but you have problems or that they're only fighting with you or pointing this out to you because they love you. You need to see how wrong you were, how you screwed up and how you need to fix the mistake(s) you made, how you need to apologize, and how you need to acknowledge that they still love you and you should be grateful. And the fucking kicker? "Not go to bed mad." That is always said to justify their incessant attacks, their horrifying abusive tactics and bullshit. Because in the past, therapists and many others would tell couples it's best not to go to bed angry. (until recent years when some people started realizing that sometimes people need space to process and so nothing escalates and the toxicity and unhealthy stress doesn't continue, especially into possible violence; and tbf, there are some couples can actually take this advice and proceed in a healthy manner) To justify them not giving you a moment's peace. To justify the lack of need for a timeout or separation at any point. To justify them goading and taunting you into staying to continue the fight/argument with things like "you must not really care about this relationship if you're not willing to stay and work this out" or "you're fucked up and that's why you run" or "you know you're wrong, that's why you're trying to hide, there's something so wrong with you". THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABUSE!

People, if there is nothing else that convinces you out of the mountain of evidence that has been presented, out of the testimonies you have heard, out of the constant mixup of facts AH and her own team have presented in this case that the plaintiff is now going hardcore on (and they can because her stories and answers are not consistent) and tearing up, out of JD's attorney CV taking a hard tone with AH during cross (which is exactly how you deal with narcissists btw, as you can see, CV has been successful in getting AH to be somewhat snappish in front of the jury and court as well as tripping her up in her replies and getting her to keep talking outside of what she's supposed to respond to, CV is slowly lifting the lid so people can see what those close to AH actually see), and out of AH's documented history well before JD and her ever crossed paths, then you need to seriously re-evaluate your thought process surrounding this case.

WAKE. UP. It doesn't matter that she's a woman. She doesn't automatically get a pass because she doesn't have a dick (no matter what those recordings say). This isn't even woman on man violence. Okay, technically it is, but at the same time it's human on human violence. If AH was a man and JD was a woman, you would let those ridiculous scales fall from your eyes and see what's right in front of you. It doesn't matter that these people are celebrities or that they have wealth or that they're white or that this trial is public. It matters that one human being is an abuser and was abusive to another human being. That JD is not the first person she has abused and sadly, he most likely won't be the last. THIS IS ABOUT ABUSE.

I say I stand with JD because he's the victim here, the survivor. Not because I'm a fan of his movies or I think he's hot or because I liked Jack Sparrow or any other ridiculous excuse people throw out there. I could care less about JD (as an actor and a celebrity, I mean), but I do care about JD the human being. No one and I do mean no one should have to go through what he went through, what I went through for years, what others have gone through, what any abuser in whatever forms put other human beings through. Abuse is not okay. And that is what this case is really about.

Open your eyes, please! If you can't look at everything presented objectively, then please for the love of humanity, consider what many of us survivors are telling you. Question why so many of us are telling you that this woman is lying. Examine the signs we are all telling you are being exhibited by AH when presenting her testimony as to how she was "abused". She's the abuser here. And she needs to stop these behaviors and seek help so she doesn't continue to abuse others. That is what my ultimate personal wish is for the end of this trial. Along with a spotlight being shone on psychological/narcissistic abuse and male victims of DV. (I think the AH stans/support response proves how vital this topic being brought to light really is) This isn't about Disney or POTC or JD's career for a lot of us. It's about getting justice for an abuse survivor.

WAKE 👏 UP 👏

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.5)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Five) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,889 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Notes: This relationship is going to go ~downhill~ from healthy really quick. Please do not read if that is going to offend you.

Part Four || Part Six || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

You ate in silence at your dining table. Tears still stung at your eyes, no matter how you tried to hold them back. Your mind was racing, trying to still make sense of what had happened. Steve had never been that aggressive with you. Sure, he had been heated outside the club when he had found you flirting with Joseph. But he had not frightened you; he had not become an imposing shadow, stealing away your ability to speak what you felt.

He had not mentioned children more than a handful of times, commenting he wanted them. It had seemed harmless enough; wanting children was a normal ambition for people. But the way he reacted… he was showing a completely different side. Domineering. Maybe that is who he truly was and your defiance to his desire triggered it.

“That going down all right?” Steve questioned, genuine care in his tone, interrupting your thoughts.

“Obviously,” you muttered before you could stop yourself.

Steve stilled for a moment, tossing a scrutinizing look over at you. You ducked your head again, taking another bite. He waited a few moments, still studying you. When he turned away, you felt the tension relax in your frame.

You excused yourself to bed after finishing your soup. It was only 8:30pm but you just wanted to sleep. Steve informed you he was staying the night – not to your surprise.

He came up behind you, his strong arm wrapping around you. You sniffled and he peered over your shoulder. “Hey,” he said gently. His fingers came up underneath your chin, turning your head to look at him. “Oh, doll. I know you’re scared. But I’m right here. I promise.” He was calm, caring just like you knew him to be. And that made the situation even more confusing, more tears overflowing. He leaned down, shushing you quietly, laying soft kisses along the side of your face. “You’re going to be okay. I’m not leaving. Okay?”

You licked your lips and whispered, “Okay.”

<> <> <>

Thankfully, you had Fridays off having a four ten-hour day schedule, so you did not have to suffer the embarrassment of calling in for the fourth day in a row. You did not think it was possible for you to keep yourself together if you had to explain to your boss why you were not coming in.

You slept in past 8:00am. How you had managed to sleep almost twelve hours was surprising but you amounted it to the stress.

When you came out of the bedroom, Steve was standing in the living room, staring out the window, on the phone. You saw there was a plate of pancakes and bacon – that is what had initially roused you from your sleep. You were a little queasy but the carbs might help make you feel better.

Steve heard the floor creak and he tossed you a smile in acknowledgment. “Yes, exactly. On Monday would be perfect. We can get everything packed up over the weekend.” You stilled, your eyes moving to his back. “And how much is that going to be? I can have the money wired or if you need a card the day of, that works too.”

You slowly sat down grabbing an empty plate and taking some of the pancakes slowly, focusing most of your attention on his conversation.

“Uh huh. Yep, that’s the address, correct. Steve Rogers.” He paused and chuckled. “Yes, I am. No. No, it’s not my place. It’s my girlfriend’s. Mhmm.”

You realized you had poured too much syrup on your pancakes, not paying attention. You swore under your breath quickly upturning the bottle to place it back on the table.

“Perfect. Thank you.”

He hung up, turning around to face you. “Oh, good. I made that for you.” He began texting.

“What… who were you talking to?” you asked.

“Moving service.”

“A moving service?”

Steve did not spare you a glance as he continued to type, “Yes. I want you to move in with me. It would make me feel more relaxed having you close.”

“I can’t move in with you.” That caught his attention. You swallowed sharply seeing the look on his face, but you pressed on, pointing out, “It’s too far away from work. That is a long commute for me.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. You quit.”

Astounded at his nonchalant attitude about your career, you protested, “I don’t want to quit, Steve. I can still work. I’m pregnant, not disabled.”

“I’m sure you can,” he responded. “But I don’t want you to. And you don’t have to worry about doing it yourself. I already visited your employer this morning and let her know you wouldn’t be coming back. So, like I said, you quit.”

You felt like the air had been kicked out of you. You thought he had meant that you should quit, not that it had already been done. And done without your consent.

“You did what?” you asked in disbelief after a few moments of staring at him, gaping like a fish.

He stopped typing again and locked eyes with you. He explained slowly, “I went to your employer and explained to her you wouldn’t be coming back in. She understood.”

“She ‘understood’? What did you do?”

Steve narrowed his eyes, his hands dropping a little. He asked tensely, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Holding back an accusation of him being forceful, you instead switched gears to hopefully garner sympathy. “Steve! You… you probably just ruined my chances of getting a job again in this field. Word travels! I can’t just… quit! After being out of the office for three days. It’s not a good look!”

“This is how it was going to end up anyway. It just happened faster than planned.”

“How what was going to end up?”

“You were not going to be working forever. You don’t need to. Not if you’re married to me and we have children together.”

A scoff escaped, “I don’t remember being a part of that conversation. You’re taking everything away from me! And I’m sorry, marriage?”

He stalked over to the table, tossing his phone down. He placed his hands on the back of the char across from you, leaning on it. “Taking away from you? Y/N, I’m giving you everything!”

“How? By forcing me to have a child I am not sure I want? Or using your power to just up and quit my job – especially without my agreement? Making me move in with you – AGAIN, without my agreement? You’re making all these decisions about my life without speaking with me!”

“About our life, Y/N. This isn’t just about you. That’s a very childish way to think about it.” Your mouth fell open at that, him calling you selfish. He pointed at himself, “I am making all the hard decisions because you’re demonstrating to me you only want to take the easy way out. Is that how you solve problems, Y/N? I thought you more mature than that, but I have been proven wrong. It’s frankly disappointing.”

Scornfully, you asked, “Well, if you think me so immature, then why are you insisting we go through with this? I mean, what immature person could take care of a baby?”

“You’ll have help,” Steve said, piqued. “Pepper is giving me recommendations for nannies.” You scoffed again, looking away from him, trying not to cry from your frustration. Steve growled, “You should be grateful. With how loose you have shown yourself to be, it could have been anyone that knocked you up.” You snapped your head back to stare at him, hurt. He shook his head seeing your expression, his eyes cold. “Even after you showed you were all too ready to move on quickly and have another cock between your thighs as if I meant nothing, I forgave you. I had already fallen for you. I couldn’t let you slip away – I won’t let you slip away.” He pointed at you aggressively. “You should be thanking me, not backtalking me. I won’t tolerate it. Not from you. My patience is wearing thin, so drop the damn attitude! You hear me?”

You said nothing, glaring at him, biting your cheeks.

Steve said more forcibly, “Y/N, I expect a damn answer.”

Tightly, you got out through gritted teeth, “I heard you.”

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

“Good,” he said tersely. “You should think about what I said. I’m doing this for us.” He stared at you for a few more moments, as if he was waiting for you to retort something. You were past that, knowing it was not going to help you right now. He seemed satisfied with your silence, pushing away from the table and grabbing his phone. “Eat your breakfast.”

<> <> <>

Feet tucked up underneath you on the couch in front of the large fireplace, you texted Natalie.

What do you mean you quit?

Steve insisted I don’t have to work. I’m going to be taken care of.

So, you’re throwing your career away because you got pregnant? You do realize you can have both, correct?

Your instinct was to text back that you knew that, but you were afraid to. Because you were unsure if Steve would ask to see your phone and be irked by what he saw.

I know. Having some time off might be good during this though.

It’s going to be more than a year, Y/N. You’re going to lose a lot of time!

I know. But I’ll be fine. I’ll figure it out.

It had been tense with Steve for the last few days, you feigning sickness more often than usual. You thought he could see through the charade but he did not call you out as a liar. It was going to come to a head at some point; his lust seemed to be insatiable. He had told you as such that he was craving you and could only handle so much time apart.

What you told Natalie was true, you were going to figure it out. It was too much at once. All these thoughts had been rushing through your mind. Was what he said right? It had gotten under your skin. At least in the sense that you were immature? There had to have been many people in your situation faced with this decision and so many sucked it up and grew up. Were you afraid of growing up and being a mother? Steve had taken you to the doctor earlier this morning to check on everything. You were over a month along, which means you had gotten pregnant very quickly.

You sighed, thinking for the umpteenth time that day if being pregnant with Steve was actually the end of the world or if you were making a bigger deal out of it than you needed to.

Bucky strolled into the room and you straightened up, quickly tucking your phone underneath your thigh. He noticed and cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. You gave him what you hoped was an innocent smile. Before, you would have welcomed his company with open arms but now you knew you needed to be guarded with them all. They were Steve’s friend’s, not yours.

“Steve around?” You shook your head. “Hmm, he say when he was gonna be back?”

“No,” you answered quietly.

Bucky was eyeing you and you tried to be calm underneath the scrutiny. You were not doing anything inherently bad texting your friends, but Steve had made it clear he did not want you divulging too much. You were sure the other Avengers were aware of this and agreed with him; their livelihood was at stake if you spoke or knew too much.

Coming over to the couches, Bucky sat close by, leaning back, arms draped over the back of the couch.

“How are you settling in?”

You shrugged, “Fine, enough. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“It happened really fast,” you offered.

Bucky hummed in acknowledgment, nodding. “Seems that’s how it goes most of the time.”

You did not like it moving fast, that was the problem.

“I’ll give you an update after it’s over,” you sighed.

“You sound miserable.”

You just averted your eyes, giving a slight shrug.

“You’ll get used to it, Y/N,” Bucky said reassuringly. “Steve cares a lot for you. And he’s always wanted a family. This is perfect for him, so he’s going to be a little intense. He’ll chill out. Trust me. I’m his best friend and all.”

Being bold, you locked gaze with him and said coolly, “I just wish I had some say in it. It is my body after all if everyone somehow forgot.”

Let him tell Steve that. Maybe it would sink in differently if it came from Bucky.

Bucky instead of looking taken aback, actually looked impressed. “There it is. That fire Steve said you had.” You were unsure if you should take that as a compliment or not. He shifted forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He pierced you with a serious look, “Some advice though… you did give yourself to him the moment you got in bed with him. He’s going to have final say, and as I’m sure you know, he doesn’t like pushback. And I’m sure not especially from you.”

Wasn’t that the truth.

“I would realign that fire to becoming the wonderful mother we all know you can be rather than resisting him. It won’t end well that way. He’s not a man to cross.” He paused before adding, “He’ll give you the stars as long as you do as he asks.”

You were quiet, letting what he said sink in.

Bucky sat in silence was well, watching you closely.

Was this going to just be your life now? Living in this large house, waiting for your child to arrive and then continue staying here, rearing children for Steve? Bucky’s point was clear: you were not leaving here, let alone him, unless Steve gave you permission to.

“I need time,” you said stiffly. “It is a lot to take in.”

“I’m sure. But you are in perfect hands.” He got up from the couch. “I’ll go wait in his study so I don’t continue bothering you.” His gaze flicked to where your cell phone was hidden for a split second.

You nodded in acknowledgment, electing to stay quiet as he walked past you towards the stairs.

<> <> <>

As soon as Bucky was in Steve’s office, he shot him a quick text.

She’s being sneaky about her phone.

It did not take long for Steve to respond.

Don’t worry about it. I’ll see if she says anything I don’t like. She’s being good so far.

Bucky snorted reading the text. “Sneaky bastard,” he muttered.

<> <> <>

A week later, Steve was at it again. He came up behind you in the bathroom mirror, his arms wrapping around you as you dried your face after your face scrub. His hands played with the hem of your short robe.

“Don’t,” you said, pulling away from him.

Steve’s face darkened and he grabbed your wrist, stopping your forward motion. He yanked you back to him and you winced at the tug. His hand came up to grip your other wrist, holding them in between you.

“What did we talk about, Y/N?”

You tried to pull away again and he held fast. You pleaded, “Steve. Please. I just want to sleep.”

“You had all day to sleep. And you’ll have all night after I’m finished,” he told you, pulling you closer. His forehead rested on yours, his eyes closed. “I haven’t seen you all day. But you didn’t leave my mind, baby.”

You swallowed sharply at his intimate confession.

His hands left your wrist, finding the ribbon on your robe instead and undoing it. He pushed the robe from your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. He hummed in approval seeing the babydoll you were wearing; it was the pink, satin one you had put on when he had brought you home from your first date.

“You look gorgeous,” he murmured.

You gave in, letting his tongue slip past your lips. Steve’s hand ghosted up your thigh underneath your babydoll and in between your thighs. He groaned against your lips, his fingers delving past your folds. His thumb caressed you, working you up, despite your initial disdain about being in his arms.

Steve picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. On your back on the bed, he slipped inside you. He did not draw it out, going right for it, panting and groaning above you. Steve always made sure you came before he did, his stamina being superior to yours. He held you close as you tightened around him, your legs quivering. When he came, his head fell beside yours, resting on the pillow. You were pinned beneath his immense weight for a minute before he pushed away from you, hovering overhead.

Steve trailed kisses down your abdomen, causing you to shiver.

“Can’t wait to see you heavy with my baby. You’ll look perfect,” he husked against your skin. “I love you so much.”

He meant it too. He did love you. And that did not bode well for you for whenever you did escape.

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Would you please give me headcanons about how shigadabi caught feeling for each other? Loosely sticking to canon if you can🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

That "loosely sticking to canon" is a little tricky for me. Why? Because in the canon I see them as two guys that find comfort in knowing that someone understands them and they are free to do as they please because the other won't stop them.

This is gonna be a long one and I apologize for it, but I love them so much. I can't help it.

Still, here are my headcanons 😈:

In the beginning, Dabi is never around and when he is, he's being mean and annoying in the background. Shigaraki doesn't tolerate him, but he respects him. Since they met, Shigaraki knew that boy wouldn't stop to achive what he wanted, just like himself.

There was a moment between them, the seed of something. Before the summer camp attack, Shigaraki called Dabi apart so he could set the nomu to respond to his voice and his voice only. You can imagine Shigaraki walking up to him, telling him to follow and Dabi being a piece of trash about it.

Shigaraki them tells him why he's needed out loud and turns around, already walking. The rest of the League complains or comments in the background but Dabi leaves them without a word. He's too busy thinking Tomura must be really stupid to trust him when he barely knows him. Or well he could— He could be smart enough to see through him?

With the years, Dabi has learned to be careful of those guys. He doesn't trust people, no exceptions. He prefers to think Tomura is an idiot.

Being honest, that was the minute Dabi decided he would try to read Tomura. He was he new boss, Dabi was only only being careful. Nothing more.

Let's keep the imaging.

Tomura sits and he unceremoniously calls the nomu, gives him some commands and tells Dabi to use his voice to give him the same commands. They do it a couple of times until Shigaraki is satisfied and Dabi is free to go.

For someone else watching, it was cold and professional. For them, it was kinda weird. There was a little tension than neither of them was acknowledging and there was a quietness, a silence Tomura was used to. It was weird because it felt like they were alone, because they were used to being alone, but somehow they were being alone together— with the freaking nomu. It felt like visiting the vet. Dabi didn't like it.

Time goes by. Things happen.

They have a silent agreement that marks Dabi as one of Shigaraki's commander. He's a special one tho, because apparently he can do whatever the he he wants. He says he's gonna recruit? Tomura approves it with a simple nod and that's it.

Since we have only seen Twice's apartment, I'm assuming here that the rest of the League lived in the bar with Kurogiri and Tomura. Which makes sense because they wouldn't have anywhere else to go.

The only times Shigaraki and Dabi are together is when Dabi occasionally return to their base for whatever reasons. It is loud and crowded so they don't get the chance to interact that much. What they can do is observe the other.

None of them is ashamed of doing it. They stare and stare back. The League plays it off because that's probably two idiots trying to assert dominance or some shit.

It's stupid and they only find out about useless things. What they like to drink, how they walk or react to certain things, what throws them off, what makes them happy... Things you'd know about your classmate.

Their interactions change after what happened in Kamino and the night Magne died.

Dabi was taken by surprise when he saw Tomura walking in. He was calm, collected, even more honest than usual. When he took the hand off his face, the whole room held their breath.

His features were delicate, even beneath all the scars and dry skin. He's eyes were gentle, which was scarier than his maniac look. They held blood and the promise of danger, but not to them. Dabi brushed it off later.

Dabi keeps being his sarcastic self. Shigaraki doesn't react that much. Their barriers are tight closed as ever. Except when...

Well, those nights. The ones they don't talk about. The ones when Dabi is drunk and Tomura is way too sleep deprived and they find themselves insulting the other in hushes. They're normally out of the League's hearing range, alone in some abandoned part of their actual base.

Catching feelings for the other is a good expression. It's like they're catching a cold or something viral by accident. You just have to be in the wrong place at the right time to get yourself infected.

Their minds are blurry and their hearts are feeling raw the first time they interact like that. It's like Dabi is nothing but a young man trying to find his way back home from some bar because he was done with his working week. Or maybe Tomura is a tired student who's been dealing with a lot of stress and it's feeling bare and naked with his hair floating around with the wind.

They look at each other like they always do. Like trying to solve a mystery. Like trying to put together a puzzle. Like trying to decipher a code you shouldn't be worried about, but it distracts you from the world so why not.

Tomura is the one who notices Dabi is bleeding. He points it out. Dabi shrugs and then Tomura just shakes his head and starts walking, Dabi following him, recognizing that face from being a silent command.

For the rest of the night, Dabi teaches Shigaraki how to fix his staples and Shigaraki does so, taking the hand away from his face for better care.

They wonder about the other. How can Tomura know so much about fighting when it looked like he always lived alone? Why was Dabi drinking something stronger than usual? Where his scars always there? Had he patched someone else before? Was Dabi used to other people patching him?

They go to sleep. When they wake up, the only think in their heads is this can't happen again. They got distracted. Distraction means getting softer. That's a no no for them.

Except it happens again. And again. Until it starts happening when they're sober and they know they're screwed. They shouldn't be feeling safe enough with each other to don't feel the need to say something. They shouldn't be on the non-verbal stage. They shouldn't be taking turns what the other sleep to keep guard. Shigaraki shouldn't know where Dabi is most of the time, in case he wants to go and visit him in secret. The League doesn't know where they go most of the time, anyway.

If you're looking for a phrase to prove they have caught feelings for the other, you have no luck. They don't trust words, because most words are lies. But they can't lie when they look into each other's eyes

And against all odds, it changes nothing. No one suspects a thing, no one can sees them. Of course, what is there to see? Nothing at all. Just a king and his commander. Or maybe, just two guys sharing what's not there.

Because there's nothing there. If Dabi craves Tomura's fingers on his back, it's only because he's hurt again. If Tomura longs for waking up to the sound of Dabi's smoking by the window, it's because that means he doesn't have to sleep for a least a while now.

Dabi looks at Tomura across the room and thinks It's like catching a cold. It's gonna go away. A cold won't distract him from his revenge. When the time comes, he won't think about Tomura. And he's right. It's just a cold. Tomura is happy is just a cold too.

Ah, there's a problem, one we know but they forgot. It is too easy to catch a cold. They come back with the season, when we're vulnerable and cold. And if you catch enough colds and you don't cure them properly, it can become something worst. More permanent. More deadly.

For what they want, I hope they're being careful. Sure, they're fine right now, healthy, they talk and laugh and plan and murder. Do they sleep well at night? When they're hearts are freezing and they are too drunk or too sleep deprived, do they still go to each other? When their brains won't stop working, would the miss those nights? Would they wonder? Would they wish? We see only the surface, but beyond their walls...

Are they badly sick? Oh. Are they... Maybe.... No, of course not, but... When no one sees them, when no one talks, when they don't have to be something else, when they can just exists... When the remember their voices echoing in that room, that time, first time alone, just a nomu and their stares...

And sometimes, they'd look into each other's eyes just to make sure they still know how to do it. And they go crazy, becuase they must be doing somethinf wrong.

It is not an I won't see you die under my watch, so don't die until I'm back and it is not an I'll be taking care of myself too, so don't complain and it is not an prove it, come back safe and sound, come back to me.

That's not what they say. That's not what it means.

And still.

Red eyes.

Blue eyes.

And silence.

[sleepybutwriting]

Headcanons for: “My Hero Academia”

_____

Young hero overworks themself

_____

Pairing:  Hawks x Reader  |  Aizawa x Reader  | All Might x Reader  |  Endeavor x Reader

Request: “Would you be cool with doing some HCs of the usual suspects reacting to the young pro turning their family and friends away for a case and working themself to the bone, like maybe they ate a granola bar over the past two days, haven't seen another person since week 2 of the case and they haven't slept in who knows how long? The pro tries to talk to them and this kid just ignores them. sorry this is so long!😅 - Anonymous”

Notes: Don’t apologize this is a really good idea! I did a bit of a scenario instead because this was too cute to pass up so I hope that’s still okay.

[Part One]

_____

Aizawa:

It was your parents that had contacted him and told them that they were worried because they hadn’t heard from you in a while. You lived independently since your home was so far away and you wanted to live in town to make the commute to work easier. And they knew how Aizawa had been keeping an eye on you recently to keep you out of trouble, so he was the first person they thought to call.

He immediately went to your house to check in on you and when you answered you looked terrible. Bags under your eyes, hair was a mess, energy drinks all over the floor. He was understandably upset, not being able to wrap his head around the fact of why, you would let your health deteriorate so severely in such a short amount of time.

“I’ve been working on this case for a week now, and I still haven’t been able to solve it. I’m so close though. I know I am.” You began mumbling looking over all the files that were stored on your computer.

“Alright, we’re done for the day. Put your laptop up and go take a nap. You can pick this up later.” It was obvious now that it had been too long since you had slept. Who knows how long it had been since you’ve eaten an actual meal.

“I can sleep when I’m dead.” You respond typing away on your laptop reaching for another sip of your energy drink. He quickly swiped the can from your hand and slammed your laptop shut confiscating both while giving you a dark look.

“That can be arranged.”

You’re in bed ten minutes later fast asleep while Aizawa is making you dinner in the kitchen. (He does not get paid enough for this)

~

Endeavor:

You had skipped out on patrolling with him for the last few days and he was getting tired of it. He just assumed that you were upset with him about something that he did. So to get an explanation, he showed up to your apartment to see you in person.

He knocked on your door, and made his way inside when he heard you mumble “Come in.” He’s a big guy and this was just your average one-bedroom apartment, so he had struggled at first to enter. But when he made it inside, he was sure he had gotten the wrong address.

The person sitting on the couch in front of him, with papers spread chaotically across the living room floor as they frantically began switching from file to file, didn’t look like the Y/N he knew. He was almost about to apologize and leave until you spoke up.

“Oh, hey Endeavor. Did you need something?” That was definitely your voice.  Even though you acknowledged him, you still didn’t look at him, keeping eye contact with the papers in front of you. He demanded an explanation as to why you had skipped out on attending his morning patrol and you explained to him that you had gotten swamped with work and just couldn’t make time.

He’ll immediately hire someone from his company to do the work for you, allowing you some time to catch up on your sleep. Don’t even try to say no, because that’s not an option. All of your casework is getting handed off to his workers until he deems you physically healthy enough to continue.

“You can work on the case once you’ve caught up on your rest and eaten a proper meal. Until then, I’ll have my people working on it on your behalf.”

~

Toshinori:

He stops by just to check in on you one day, and is surprised when he sees what an exhausted state you’re in. He tries to convince you to take a break, but you just keep pushing him off in response. He knows that he won’t be able to reason with you into letting your body rest, so he has no other choice but to trick you.

“I at least know a good meditation technique to help you destress so you can look at the case from a new perspective if you’re interested.”

“Uhh, I don’t know..”

“Five minutes, that’s all I ask. Then you can get back to work.” You nodded hesitantly not thinking it would do any harm, and he just grinned in response.

“Alright, just lay back, close your eyes, and relax your body.” You followed his instructions laying your head down, “now focus on your breathing. In... now out. Okay, keep doing that.”

It didn’t take long before you fell asleep. Just like he planned. 

He gently pulled a blanket over you to keep you warm, and as you caught up on your rest, he works on the case himself, trying his best to do what he can so you won’t have to push yourself as hard when you wake up

~

Hawks:

He was stopping by your house because he hadn’t seen you around in a while and wanted to check in on you and see if you wanted to patrol with him. He was angry though, when he saw what a drained state your body was in.

He started lecturing you about taking care of yourself, and you just disregarded him not wanting to hear it. You were already in a bad mood due to the lack of sleep and Hawks wasn’t making anything better. 

You continued to flip through the case files while trying to tune out his lecture, hoping to find something you hadn’t seen earlier. He let out a loud frustrated groan before he yanked the folder out of your hands, holding it over your head where you couldn’t reach it.

“Ignore me one more time, Y/N. Watch what happens.” He threatened.

You had never seen him so...frustrated before. He was always so level headed and you felt bad that it was you that was making him lose his cool. For the rest of the night, he holds your file as ransom and doesn’t let you anywhere near it until you’ve gotten a minimum of eight hours of sleep and a full-course meal.

(If this is what having kids is like count him out. He has enough stress worrying about you)

[omegawolverine]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[rufousnmacska]

I have a lot of thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames, and since it helps me to write them out, I thought I’d share.

It’s behind a cut because SPOILERS and it’s long lol!

Nesta

I had expected we’d learn that Nesta had suffered some type of abuse or trauma as a child that Elain and Feyre were not aware of. I wasn’t expecting it to be so subtle, for lack of a better word. Abuse comes in a lot of forms, which I think SJM is good at showing. Emotionally manipulating your daughter for power, ignoring her in favor of your business and money … those may not be as visible as physical or verbal abuse, but they still cause damage.

I’m not sure how to convey it properly, but I thought it was important to show how the parts of her that were born from the abuse and trauma, while dark or not always healthy, were still useful. The wolf she became to survive her childhood helped her survive the cauldron. Not being able to “turn it off” is what hurt her. My favorite quote:

“So Nesta had become a wolf. Armed herself with invisible teeth and claws, and learned to strike faster, deeper, more lethally. Had relished it. But when the time came to put away the wolf, she’d found it had devoured her too.”

And as Amren said later “That’s the key isn’t it? To know the darkness will always remain, but how you choose to face it, handle it … that’s the important part. To not let it consume. To focus on the good, the things that fill you with wonder.”

I’ve seen a lot of fans upset that Nesta gave up her cauldron powers at the end to save Feyre and the baby. Although I’d initially hoped (post acofas) that her training would be more about her magic than physical training, I’m okay with how it worked out. She never wanted that power and she never liked having it. She stole it as revenge and she fought constantly to suppress it. Was she a badass when she wielded it? Absolutely! But ultimately, her giving it back was the final big step in her healing arc and acceptance of herself. (That doesn’t mean she’s “cured.” This will be an ongoing battle for her. I only mean this in terms of the story in this book.)

She chose to sacrifice it, unlike so many other times in her life when things were forced on her or happened to her. Unlike the future her mother had set out for her. Unlike when they were poor and her father did nothing to get them through. Unlike when she was thrown into the cauldron and then a war. Even unlike when she was forced to move into the House of the Wind, and her apartment – the one place she had chosen for herself no matter how run down it was – got demolished. I’m not going to go into the intervention too much. It was poorly done, but I doubt any of them had experience in doing one. A conversation acknowledging that might have been nice. And I’m not ignoring Feyre and Rhys’s hypocrisy of Nesta being confined to a place where she effectively had no way to leave on her own. The stairway at that point was not an option. But the bottom line is that Nesta needed help and was not in a position to willingly accept it or seek it out.

Regardless, she is still a lethal badass. She still has some of her powers, along with her fighting skills, which will only get better and better. So, the idea that she gave up what made her strong, or ended up as some meek housewife …  I don’t agree with that at all. She has the intelligence and potential to become a force in leading armies. Not to mention her skill as an emissary. (Which Cassian finally learned how to imitate lol!)

On a personal note, I’m intimately familiar with the depression and self-loathing Nesta experienced in this book. Although I don’t necessarily react to those feelings in the same ways or exhibit the same coping mechanisms (I tend to turn my anger inward rather than outward), I could still relate to her journey. Her stubbornness and feelings that she didn’t deserve love or anything good or kind were presented accurately in my opinion. Parts were hard for me to read because of that. But I loved that she was able to make her way through the pain and finally begin to accept and love herself. And I especially loved that she was helped not only by Cassian, but by her friendship with Emerie and Gwyn.

And the House! Holy shit. The magic houses in this world piss me off to no end because they are not real and I will forever need to clean my own place LOL! Her relationship with the house was beautiful and funny and I love that she Made it! She needed a friend, someone to understand her, not only what she wanted but what she needed, and boom! The House of the Wind came alive for her.

So, overall, I loved Nesta’s journey. I’m happy she ended in a place that brought her inner peace and the ability to better deal with her problems in the future.

 Nessian

I loved them before this book and I love them more after. The smut was a little shocking at first lol but I’ve read the Black Dagger Brotherhood books, which SJM loves, so really, it wasn’t that out there. I loved that Cassian showed that even with the mating bond, he could give Nesta space and freedom. In that respect, their relationship felt more mature to me than feysand. Their banter and the sexual tension was great! (The book is about a book.) They had some not great moments, as they have in past books. But those were realistic. People argue and say things they regret. But they also talk through it and apologize. This is a good time to point out – NOT ALL APOLOGIES INVOLVE EXPLICITLY SAYING I AM SORRY. There are other ways to show remorse and ask for forgiveness.

I don’t know if I had one favorite moment as there were quite a few. I think the most emotional for me was when they reached the lake. I know firsthand how difficult it is to speak aloud the things Nesta said. And I am also lucky to have people in my life who responded the way Cassian did – with love and support and kindness.

The nightmare scene, the prison scene, the dancing, the mating bond, Cassian turning the knife on himself … I loved them all!

The Valkyries

I fucking loved them! Gwyn and Emerie were absolute delights and I’m so glad Nesta made good friends of her own who she could be herself with. Their bonding over books, training, and their pasts was wonderful. Nesta urging them on and defending them from the Illyrians in the Blood Rite was a beautiful step in her healing. Before this book, I was hesitant about the foreshadowing that Nesta would take part in the Rite, fearing it would become some sort of white savior trope to help the female Illyrians. But I enjoyed the way it ended up happening. I know it seemed unrealistic for Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn to get that far against warriors who’d been training for years. But part of the point was the males were arrogant as fuck. They underestimated the trio, to their detriment. Nesta and her friends used cunning as much as strength and skill to get where they did.

And I loved the image of Emerie and Gwyn just sitting back, sipping tea and admiring the river after going through a week of pure hell and winning the Blood Rite.

I hope we get more of them all together in the next books.

ETA - I can’t believe I forgot! Gwyn writing their story because their stories deserve to be told 🥲💕

The sisters

Overall I liked how things turned out with them.

Elain is still a bit of a non-entity to me. I don’t feel like I really know anything about her. Which, to some extent, is the point I think. There will be a lot to reveal in her story and she has a shitload of healing to do. She may have the appearance of adjusting and fitting in, but I don’t buy it. Nesta telling Elain to fuck off was awesome and long overdue. But Elain was also right in pointing out how others treat her and the trauma she’s experienced. I think there is still more to be dealt with between these two in the next book.

Feyre and Nesta were the more interesting relationship to me. The eldest and the youngest tend to butt heads in my opinion (and personal experience). So I was glad they came to an understanding. And very glad that Feyre did not get angry with Nesta for telling her about the baby. Rhys deserved the wrath for that.

One thing I would have liked to see discussed was the role of their parents in their lives. Nesta holds a lot of guilt for how she reacted to their poverty and I think that is understandable. I think Elain does too. However, I do not think any of the sisters should harbor blame for what happened. Their father was responsible for them. Period. Even if he was physically unable to work or help around the house, he still could have been a father. Yes, Feyre stepped up and fed them. Nesta and Elain didn’t help. It was his role to make them. Not in an abusive way. But step up and tell Nesta and Elain to do something, whether it’s chop wood or gather food from the wild. I don’t know. In my opinion, it is wrong to place blame on young girls who had a parent that did nothing. His actions in acowar were noble, but they don’t erase his failures. That all of this was glossed over disappointed me. I think this was something Nesta needed to be told explicitly by both her sisters. She had things to apologize for and feel guilt for, but she was not the one who should have protected Feyre. All three of them should have been protected by their father.

 The Inner Circle

It’s kind of funny to me how blind they all are about each other. I don’t even know what else to say about their dysfunction.

Amren’s sudden desire for Rhys to become High King was weird, and though I should know better, I still really hope the series doesn’t end that way. The IC tends to have good intentions about things, but I don’t think they know how to handle a problem without some kind of force. And controlling all the other courts is not something that would happen easily, especially with perceived allies.

Amren and Mor thinking Nesta belonged or should be sent to the Court of Nightmares was a spectacularly shitty take. The lack of awareness and acknowledgement that Nesta was suffering from multiple traumas was just … unbelievable.

But considering how much this group does not see about each other, I guess it’s not a surprise. I don’t know how much is willful ignorance or just really, really poor people skills. I understand how this all makes for good angst and drama, I really do. But I’m just at the point where it’s grating. They need to sit the fuck down and talk to each other. It’s been five hundred years for fucks sake. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Rhys

Okay. I liked Rhys in acotar and acomaf. But the sparkly exterior wore off big time for me in acowar and acofas. I honestly could have done without him in this book. But I wasn’t foolish enough to expect him to not be in it. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that SJM has her favorites and Rhys is at the top of the list.

Having said that, he annoyed the shit out of me in this book. Someone really needs to explain to him that a choice between two awful things, one of which might be deadly, is not really a choice. I don’t have the energy for it, but better writers than me could write a thesis on the illusion of choice in these books. Which is, in my opinion, pretty clearly tied to the brand of feminism presented.

Not only is the choice given to Nesta at the beginning not a choice, Rhys doesn’t seem to consider Elain at all in his argument with Az. All other issues with that bonus chapter aside, he saw them. He saw the mutual attraction and consent. What happened to not forcing females to accept the mating bond? What happened to respecting her choice and autonomy? I considered the possibility that maybe since he knows Az, there’s a reason he thinks they wouldn’t work. But then, that pretty much flies out the window by him asking Az about Mor. Sure, Az is still hung up on Mor, but she is pretty fucking clear about her opinion.

The whole thing about not telling Feyre about the risky childbirth was awful. And not that I would expect it to happen, but not even mentioning abortion as an option was frustrating. That plot line was not good in any way. There were plenty of other things that could have gone wrong with the birth to push Nesta to act at the end. To be honest, the feysand dynamic is not great. While I appreciated her standing up to him about Nesta and other things, he very deliberately uses sex as a distraction to get out of arguments. Yet another way he never really seems to suffer consequences of bad behavior.  

I will say I was really glad he got the opportunity to experience the full trauma of what Nesta went through. And my petty ass loved him kneeling before her at the end!

Miscellaneous

Where was Illyria?? My one serious expectation for this book was that we’d learn more about Illyria and deal with the revolution that was hyped up in acofas. To be written off in one paragraph was disappointing. It makes me think that if we are to ever get more details about the Illyrians, it might be in Az’s story. It was mentioned a few times that he hates them (with good reason) and would wipe them off the map if it was up to him. So I’m guessing his arc will require him coming to terms with that.

Elriel-Elucien-Gwynriel

I’ve never been super invested in this story line but I admit I’ve leaned more towards Elriel in the past. Partly because I like some of the complementary symbolism associated with them, but mostly because I’d really like to see a story about rejection of the mating bond. Even with the extra chapters, I feel like we still don’t know much of anything about who Elain truly is. And the same can be said of Az. So, those chapters didn’t sway me that much. With the exception of Az interacting with Gwyn. I agree with a lot of others saying Az has a lot of work to do on himself before he can be with anyone. I think Elain and Gwyn also have a lot of healing to do. SJM can take this in so many directions that I just don’t know what to think.

I will say that originally I was expecting the next book to involve a love square of Elain, Az, Lucien, and Vassa, because I did see a connection between the last two. But now … Was Lucien annoyed by Jurian and Vassa because he’s jealous? Just annoyed? I don’t know. I still think Vassa will be in the next books if only because of Koschei. But I’m not so sure about her involvement with Lucien. I think we’ve got enough people in this love polygon lol! Jesus, what a mess. But maximum angst 😂