#and it still does!! I think it’s one of the cooler older art pieces

[the-owl-tree]

Why is your banner a cat being assassinated via drowning

it was an attempted murder :( no death in the banner don’t worry

and because i like it :)

[narsh-potatoes]

Never apologize for rambling abt your OCs on my post. I love y ou (and HOHHH THAT SOUNDS SO INTERSETING I'M LOOKING)

OKAY COOL FUCK YEAH THANKS

im using you as an excuse to talk about my very own home-grown blorbos now

So!!!!!!!!! i literally only have half of a design for the two of these ocs, i've only drawn one of them ONCE and i don't count it cuz i wanna redesign him COMPLETELY (that piece is not even canon, i had to do that for a class so i put stuff in there that doesn't even belong to the type of story it is </3), i've written for the two of them a couple times but im not even sure THAT'S canon anymore

(here's the art in case you don't wanna click on a link)

i think the writing might still be canon tho, i do still kinda like a lot of the stuff it went over with that. N E WAYS.

basically there's this pair of witches (they don't. really have. names. oops. they did but i don't like them anymore) who enlisted and then eventually rose to the top of fighting this war/apocalypse/encroaching disaster that has been ongoing for a LONG time. like, they're at the end of the world but turns out the end of the world is a hell of a lot slower than anyone imagined. they've been fighting it for a long time (and it does involve actual fighting? like i like to think that this apocalypse acts more as like. locust swarm but the bugs are big big buggy boys that hates you hates you hates you and eats the magic out of the world)

and the first (we'll call him A) is the one who rose up in the ranks to be best of the best very quickly, because his kind of magic is very powerful and was critically effective in the fight. and the second guy (we'll call him B) is kind of. worst of the best. SORT OF. he was best of the best because he fought alongside A and B's brand of magic explicitly deals with the bond the two of them shared. (i call it bonds magic cuz i can't think of something better for now) (yes it's power of friendship) (there more to that but whatever) it was IMMENSELY powerful!!! not moreso than A's magic, but still!! very powerful!!! so B rose up because A pulled him up (not entirely true!!! but you get the point. nuance)

BUT THEN. sometime after they had been in the war for a long ass time, A leaves. either from shame, either he's disillusioned, something happened, he won't say. and just kind of. leaves B behind. who still is very much part of the war and won't say anything to sway A's mind because he cares too much about what he thinks

years later, B's still part of the war/doom effort. and magic in the world has kind of deteriorated so much that it's. honestly kind of hard to come across a solid magic user these days. they still teach them and still get people to join the effort, but compared to the older days, it's a lot less. people can learn magic, everyone can, but it's hard to get like. a professional, someone who has unlocked the higher abilities of magic. people like A or B.

speaking of! yeah. B is still part of the war effort. and it's NOW at the period of time where he's the worst of the best, but he's the only one they've got. they still keep him around because who else is there, really, and also he can still utilize the powerful bond magic he made way back when with A, so he's still very powerful but it's just. different. ya know? he's standing in the shadow of just the IDEA of A, and he's not even here anymore. and it's not filled with resentment, never. never resentment. he could never tarnish that. it's only ever love. and looking up to A. it didn't feel like he cast a shadow because to B, to him, he only ever cast light.

but also. A left. left him. alone.

so he's dealing with that in a perfectly reasonable manner (not thinking about it)

meanwhile A has decided to live a pastoral life away from the apocalypse and is totally not repressing his issues either. <3.

and like!!! the council or whatever that's in charge of all the witches is like "hey. B. you know your way cooler friend? you still keep in touch right?" and sends him off to go find A again after all these years to bring him back to the war and there's a whole mess of meeting again and having to meet with all the things you left unsaid, and all the everything and OOUAOUGHFF it's a whole mess.

anyways i want to make this a comic but also i kind of need to. yknow. design and draw the comic if i want to make the comic. so like. rage.

[soapexclamationmark]

HAS SOME REFERENCES TO SPOILERS UP TO EGGHEAD

So i really really like one piece so ive been starting to re-read it the past few days and i just finished up orange town and i wanted to talk about it, because its a lot cooler than i remember! first of all, i really appreciate chou-chous part, i know thats a pretty lukewarm take, but its the first time in the whole series where we see luffy fight for someone else, and its the first time we see him get angry over injustice, and it does a GREAT job setting up the tone for the grand adventure that follows (note while im doing minor editing to make sure this post isnt shit, still probably is, but we also got to see luffy fight for the small girl in romance dawn, but chou-chou is cooler than her and i still think this example truly shines as an early example of this theme so im keeping it)

as always Oda does a really good job of making luffy's anger really *feel* impactful. the scene afterwards where luffy gives chouchou the bag of dog food that he got from the burning building is also amazing and really shows that going forward its not only luffy's wrath that matters, but his love for those facing injustice. honestly this arc does a LOT to introduce luffy's character, the moment when he smashed the mayor into the wall to knock him out. him doing this still works in his what we have seen previously, but alongside his interactions with the townsfollk after the battle with buggy we can see that even if luffy sometimes struggles to understand people (its ok my autistic king, we've all been there) he is shockingly emotionally intellegent. also, the art in this arc is SO much better than romance dawn. maybe its a personal thing but i dont really care for romance dawns art style, its a bit to simple and overly round for me, but orange town has a really great mix of what the artstyle will come to be while still mainly having that older one piece charm, and oda definitally flexes his art skills more in this arc. also reference to the sunken continent?????? in my chapter 19?????

im going to stop short of showing pictures of the art and talking about it because i dont know art that well, and if you want that you should go watch tbskyen's best panel in every chapter of one piece series because he does a much better job of art analysis than i could ever do. i remember there being more i wanted to talk about but i cant remember them right now so im just gonna end on the note that this arc was really funny! i still really like the humour in modern one piece but i found myself laughing a lot more in this arc than ive laughed at one piece in quite some time!! to end, im just gonna put a page that i thought was really funny and had quite a good laugh at.

[ellitx]

Frailty | Kazuha x Reader

No matter how many times you've run away from your practices, Kazuha is always able to find you.

art belongs to rivaiiwah

word count: 1.8k

           Here you are with the cherry blossoms sprouting from the branches, looking to the casual eye as flowers until they bloom. Who pays attention to their chaotic stems that twist in the joy of new life until they wear colors that soothe the viewer’s perception.

           Then there they are in the air that becomes more welcoming each day, a community of colors, a feast for butterflies and bees. 

           A new beginning. 

           A little pink petal was plucked off from the group, letting it float alone in the air as it landed on your hand. Your eyes peered over the frond and lifted it up to the sunlight to observe the bright colors of it.

           “[Name]-sama, there you are.”

           You whipped your head and smiled at the caller when he approached you. “Kazuha? What brings you here?” You questioned as you fixed your hold on the parasol. His brows scrunched up and let out a sigh as he fixed the sleeve of his outfit. 

           “Ayaka-sama, was looking for you.”

           “Ane? Why’s that?” You questioned.

           He sighed once again and pinched your cheeks a bit harshly. “You need to practice your purification rituals. Your siblings are looking for you again and now they’re worried about you.”

           “Ah— Kazuha, that hurts…!” You grasped his hand to release his hold on your face, but to no avail, he won’t budge. Seconds later, he finally and slowly let go and spared your cheeks from reddening to which you rubbed it to alleviate the sharp pain.

           His gaze went to the blooming flower of cherry blossoms and watched how the wind fluttered the petals. Ruby gems have softened at the sight of the newly sprung tree before focusing on the young princess of Kamisato.

           Your name uttered from his lips making you arch a brow at him in puzzlement. His lips parted slightly and waited for a moment before asking. “I’m just wondering why are you here. There are sakura trees at your residence, though.” He stated as he scratched his cheek with his index finger.

           Your throat hummed and looked at the sky in wonder. “Ah that… I think you already know the answer to that.” He knew for sure he saw your eyes glinted in mischief when you looked at him. 

           That smirk plastered on your face didn’t go unnoticed by him. He was quiet for a minute making you giggle and stifle it with your hand. Kazuha groaned in flicked your head much to your surprise.

           “Ouch!”

           “I’m taking you back to the Kamisato residence whether you like it or not.” 

           “Kazuha!! No please—“

—

           “Oh my, it seems like he already found her.” The young mistress giggled and watched both of you entered through the main gate with the swordsman pushing you inside. You were writhing and shaking your arm, doing your best to escape from him.

           At the sight of your face, your brother’s smile widened, and quickly wore his geta and engulfed you in a bear hug. “[Name], where have you been?! I was worried sick when I saw you weren’t inside your room!” He screeched and cried hysterically before glaring at Kazuha.

           It sent a shiver down his spine before averting his gaze away from Ayato and squared his shoulders. “Hmph, I could’ve found her on my own, but the archon must have graced you to guide my little sister back home.” Your brother grumbled as he patted your head in an assuring manner. You heaved a sigh and mouthed a sorry to your friend which he just waved it off.

           Ayaka reached to where the three of you are and deeply bowed to Kazuha in thanks. “Thank you and sorry for bothering you to look for [Name]. We’ll be sure to compensate you greatly.” She remarked and motioned for him to come inside.

           “It’s fine, Ayaka-sama. I was just happy and relieved to know she didn’t stray too far from here.” He peeked at you from the corner of his eyes before looking back at your older sister.

           “You can drop the formalities. And also, aniki, you’re suffocating [Name].” She respired and pulled you away from Ayato’s loving hugs making you sigh in relief and thank her.

           He pouted and huffed before crossing his arms and narrowly eyed you. His nature quickly changed in a blink and you know for sure you’re in a trouble just the way he lightly frowned at you.

           “[Name].” Your body shivered and avoided looking at him as you cowered behind Kazuha. “Y-yes…?” You muttered softly and tightly gripped on his clothes. 

           “Why did you skipped practicing?” You gulped down your fear and sheepishly smiled at Ayato, trying to think of an excuse. 

           “Well, it’s spring! You know how much I love sakura flowers and watch them bloom before me, aniki!” A peal of tense laughter slipped from your mouth and nudged Kazuha asking for help. Your [eye color] eyes were pleadingly gazed upon his for help as you shook his arm lightly to get him to understand your gestures.

           Sighing for an umpteenth time on this day. He faced Ayato sternly making him pause when he saw Kazuha’s face got darker. A bead of sweat rolled down his temples yet never faltering his stare onto him.

           “Ayato-sama, just lock the door if she ever escapes again.” Kazuha’s eyes returned back to their usual light and grabbed you by your shoulders, placing you in front. His fingers pointed at you and then grinned slyly at you.

           Your eyes widened but before you could open your mouth to speak out, his words made you stopped in your tracks and your face paled while your lips were parted a bit. “If she does run away again, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll make sure she does her practices frequently.”

           The cunning smile glued on his pretty face made you scared. From the other’s perspective he seemed like an innocent and nice teen, but for you, oh you know that smile very well. He didn’t want to indulge in your escapades and he’s going to pay you back with his own mischievousness. 

    —

           “Sein!”

           You threw a talisman onto the dummy as your index and middle finger were stick together and the rest were closed. “Sein?” Kazuha’s brow raised in bewilderment at your chant and stared at the dummy. He was expecting something would happen but sadly there was none.

           It only stood still, remaining unchanging. “[Name], it’s read as sho-shi-tsu.” Ayaka said as she removed the piece of paper on the figurine. “And isn’t sein something you would hear in Mondstadt?” 

           Your lips formed a grin as your optics shined brightly in excitement. “Sein sounds way cooler than shoshitsu!” A strong impact was thrown on your head making you cry in pain and place your hand on it protectively.

           “[Name]-sama, please take this seriously.” Kazuha exhaled through his nose and stretched your cheeks making you whine even more at the increasing pain. Ayaka laughed lightly at the sight of you two as she took the brush from your hands.

           “I guess we can practice next time, is that alright with you? I still have to practice my sword fight with Tohama.” Ayaka awaited your response while she kept the materials back to their rightful place.

           You merely giggled and shoved her playfully. “It’s fine~ Have a nice date with him!” Her face flushed and her silver eyes widened in surprise as she continuously stuttered. 

           “I-it’s not a date!”

           “Right, right.” You pushed her out of the room and gave her a hug before closing the door gently. You leaned your body against it and heaved a sigh at the exhausting purification practices.

           It really tired your mind and body so much. Even though you joke around sometimes to loosen up that stiff body of yours, you know you still need to work hard on it because of your duty as a shrine maiden. 

           Purifications are much needed and required in the Kamisato house. Ayaka has already mastered everything from arts to music and even poetry, and yet here you are, not even having the slightest talent like her to accomplish such things.

          Ayaka is the embodiment of perfection and nobleness, there's no doubt about that. Her form is even more elegant than yours and how she handles tea ceremonies more delicately unlike you who somehow still spills the tea from nervousness no matter how much you've practiced mastering it.

           It really tired you out how they expect so many things for you. 

           Being noble is really hard.

           The anemo-user noticed your destitute appearance and slowly approached you. 

           “[Name]-sama?” 

           You snapped out from your deep thoughts and shakily looked at him. “O-oh, Kazuha. I forgot you were still here…” You coughed and fixed your outfit, giving him a curious glance and asked.

           “Is something the matter?” 

           “I should be the one asking you that. It seems like something’s troubling you.”

                      His brows furrowed in worry and took a closer look at your well-being. “It’s nothing. I’m just glad I don’t have to practice anymore, it really tired me out. Ugh…” You grumbled and rested your hand on your stomach when you felt it rumbled.

           “Do you want to eat outside?” Your ears perked up and nodded eagerly like a child. For a second, you thought you saw him smile before it quickly disappeared. He offered his hand to you which you gladly accepted as he lead you to the exit of the room.

           “Kazuha’s treating me~” You sang joyfully, thinking of the foods from the stalls. Or maybe he’ll treat you to eat at a restaurant? Just thinking of it made your stomach growled even more from hungriness and excitement, imagining that freshly cooked takoyakis or even those crispy golden-brown tempuras.

           Even with all the smiles and laugh you give off, he can’t help but be bothered that you’re hiding something. You always shake off whenever he asks if you’re fine or if you needed anything.

           He wished that you could rely on him and trust him, to tell him all the troubles that have been piling up inside you. He has known you for a long time now, and yet why can’t you open up to him some more?

           If maybe, just maybe— one day he’ll be able to finally tell you how he feels. He’ll even go as far as looking for you if you escaped once more. He hopes you’ll notice the signs he’s been giving that he’s there for you and you don’t have to bottle it up.

           He wants to tell you that it’s alright to cry and feel vulnerable. He’ll love everything about you, even your own imperfections.

           Just the way you accepted and love everything about himself.

did i just write for an unreleased genshin chara? yes, yes i did, and im ready to simp for him

[theunderneath]

Hey! If you don’t mind me asking are you comfortable with writing for the Whitebeard pirate commanders?

Gonna be honest, I think I only know I few. Though I’m willing to learn any of the others. And to add a bit of meat to this ask, I will now go over my options for the ones I know.

Marco

Ok, so I find him very attractive even though he is a stupid pineapple. Like I don't know how he's so attractive because of his hairstyle but it's probably his personality combined with his body, glasses, and body language.

I find his personality very attractive since he is an older man (I have father issues yes) but is also a caregiver. Since he is a doctor he has this energy of care about him while also having some wise years. It's nice having a rock sort of character.

Now onto how this man acts, he is strong and he knows it. With Marco being the second-division captain of the Whitebeards crew, he has this authority to him that I personally love.

Also, his Devil Fruit is badass and cool. Kinda don’t like his dub voice, think it could be a little sleeper or older. In the dub, he sounds like a teenage boy who just hit puberty. Like I wish he had just a bit more age to his voice.

Ace

AHH BABY ACE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. This boy comes with so much baggage it's crazy. Like he has such wet sad dog energy as a yandere in my brain.

This man is a ball of guilt that hides behind a facade of charisma. He is such a good character and I love him for that. He is also a sad character but still. Our soft boy we all love.

I do find his looks very appealing as well. Like come on he is a shiftless man with loose pants. He is conventionally attractive as well with his slightly waving hair and freckles. I could imagine him wearing gray sweatpants.

Baby soft boy I wish he was alive LIKE COME ON HOW COULD YOU RIP OUT MY HEART LIKE THAT AND KILL WHITEBEARD WHEN WE FIRST GET TO SEE HIM IN HIS WHOLE ASS GLORY LIKE COME ON! I have some feelings about it.

Thatch

Ok so we didn't see a bunch of Thatch since he was pretty much just a character piece to cause conflict between Blackbeard and Whitebeard. So a lot of his characteristics are headcanons of mine or others.

So for his personality, we know he's a social butterfly and seemed like a pretty happy guy. Match that with his cooking attire and his being a Whitebeard pirate, mostly everyone sees him as a sort of a caregiver.

I've seen some art with his pompadour down in a long hairstyle which pleases my monkey brain. I've also seen some art of him getting the Yami Yami no Mi instead of Blackbeard which I find an even cooler concept.

Overall I very much like how malleable he is as a character. He is a nice person but there's a lot of stuff you can do with his character. You could make his backstory almost anything you want.

Izou

My favorite. I think it's my gay-ass mind and straight mind getting confused. They just see “Oh pretty face and nice hair.” then “Straight killer abs.” also men with long hair are just great.

Ok so I'm pretty sure Izou isn't transgender but is more cross-dressing. I think the trans one is his sister, Kiku.

I think Izou is a very beautiful design for my fangirl brain. He has a very feminine face while having a male body. While I do like manly men, there's something about beautiful men that does it for me.

There is also a little character change from his first appearance from Timeskip. He gets gloves in Wano which scratches my brain just a little more.

[mankaithings]

Miyoshi Kazunari

Kazunari was nine years old 

It was the first time somebody from his class invited him to a party so he was really excited! He looked around the room, a smile suddenly growing onto his face as he watched everybody greet the birthday boy a happy birthday and hand him his gifts and join the others in the ball pit to play. Around him, everyone was laughing while they all throw balls at each other, running around and having no care in the world

He joined the others upon singing happy birthday, clapping his hands and following the rhythm of the song until the birthday boy finally blew his candles. Everybody cheered as the fire went out and once again everybody was having fun

Kazunari decided that, he also wanted to have a birthday party 

Kazunari turned ten

He did everything for his birthday. He asked his parents if they can give him a party which they agreed on. He even made the invitations himself! He was really proud of his work, at a young age he already had exemplary skills for art and seeing how his invitation turned out made him even prouder of his talent.

 As he handed out the invitation, Kazunari felt excitement bubbling in the pit of his stomach. It was the first time he was going to spend it with so many people, he was even imagining the games they would play for the day! Maybe through the party, he could get closer to the kids in his class? Then he wouldn’t have to feel lonely anymore 

By the day of his birthday, everything was ready. The streamers that he helped made were hung up on the wall, accompanying the banner that said ‘Happy Birthday Kazu!!!’, the food was cooked and Kazunari wore his best clothes. Out of excitement, he waited by the entrance of his house until somebody decided to turn up

But nobody did 

From that day as he sang himself happy birthday and blew the candles, Kazunari decided that he didn’t need a party or even a gift. He just wants to be greeted a happy birthday by his friend and he would be content and happy 

The remaining years of elementary and three years of middle school yet nobody remembered his birthday. He couldn’t help but feel jealous as he watched both girls and boys greet their friends with a happy birthday and run to them with a hug or invite them out to karaoke or surprise them whenever the special day came 

Kazunari entered highschool 

He changed himself completely. He wore cooler clothes, updated his vocabulary and even became more extroverted in hopes of making friends and it did happen! He was always in the middle of his group of friends and the one to start the fun!

His birthday came and he had high expectations for it. He does have friends so there’s no problem if he gets excited by it, right? 

But despite the number of ‘friends’ he had only a few remembered to greet him a happy birthday. Maybe it was because he was always focused on making the other party laugh and never actually talk about himself or anything personal that had to do with him that nobody remembered it, but he had expectations and once again, he was disappointed 

By nineteen he found a family, he was turning twenty and after ten whole years he finally learned his lesson. He wasn’t even sure if anybody remembered or if they even knew it was his birthday 

Kazunari shook his head and headed down his bed, ready to start his day. He was happy enough that he found people who he could call his real friends 

The first ones to greet him were Omi, Izumi, Tsumugi and Tasuku and Homare

“Ah mornin’ Omimi, director, Tax, Tsumu-tsumu, Aririn.” He greeted the group merrily who sat among themselves discussing their plans for the day 

“Ah morning Kazunari, here you go.” Omi handed him a plate which was filled with his scrumptious breakfast

“Woah Omimi is this from a five star restaurant?” Kazunari asked, staring at the plate of neatly stacked pancakes that was neatly drenched in honey with whip cream and blueberries on top. He couldn’t help but take out his phone and snap a pic of the perfect instablamable food in front of him

“Well I thought it was a good way to start your birthday,” Omi smiled softly at Kazunari

Kazunari was caught off guard, so they did know it was his birthday. For once he was left speechless, he felt his chest swell with happiness at the thought of somebody actually thinking and making something for him 

“Happy birthday Kazunari,” Izumi greeted the art student energetically and ruffled his hair, “ You actually turned older today.” She smiled at him fondly as she handed him his usual mug of coffee, “You might need that for today,” Izumi advised 

“Thanks,” Kazunari looked down on his food, feeling bashful. 

“Happy birthday Kazunari,” Tsumugi said, “I’ll try to arrange the flowers later so you’ll be able to take a picture for your instablam.” Tsumugi suggested 

“Thanks Tsumu-tsumu!” 

“Miyoshi, happy birthday.” Tasuku said but despite the few words Kazunari beamed at him making the older actor’s mouth twitch up

“Ah for this special day I have made a special poem just for you Kazunari!” Homare announced proudly 

Kazunari spent his morning filled with laughter as he dug in to his food and listened to Homare’s poem, sure he got confused by a few verses but it was the thought that counts 

“Ah you’re finally finished,” Yuki’s voice cut through the adults as he walked in the dining area. “Everybody’s waiting in the lounge so hurry up Friendly mcExtrovert.” Yuki said and left the adults 

Kazunari looked at the adults in pure confusion but they just smiled among themselves and continued with their meal

“Kazu~” Misumi was the first to greet him as he went towards his friend and gave him a small hug, “Happy birthday Kazu!” He smiled

“Kazu-kun happy birthday,” Muku followed with his usual cute smile

Kazunari couldn’t help but laugh, “Thanks guys!” He said as he placed an arm around the two, “Oh Tenten’s also here,” He said, surprised. “I thought you have your own schedule for today?”

“Well…” Tenma trailed off, feeling embarrassed at the question

“He cleared it for today,” Yuki answered for Tenma who glared at him

“I just wanted a break, okay?” He looked at Kazunari, “Ha-happy birthday.” He muttered loud enough for Kazunari to hear

“Thanks Tenten, Yuki too.” He grinned at Yuki who remained silent. Kazunari wondered how many thanks he already said and it wasn’t even afternoon but he just wanted to show his gratitude to them who was actually making an effort for his birthday

“Come on let’s go!” Misumi ran outside, leaving the other troupe members no choice but to follow the free spirited actor

“I told him to wait for us,” Yuki sighed, running after the actor,

“Sumi wait up!” Kazunari called after Misumi who abruptly stopped and grinned at his fellow actors who were all out of breath 

“Sorry~ I got too excited!” Misumi apologized and went beside Kazunari

“Kazu let’s go find triangles!” 

Kazunari laughed, “Yeah let’s go!”

“Geh we should’ve just waited in the park.” Yuki looked at Tenma who was avoiding his eyes 

“How was I supposed to know it was going to turn out like this?!” 

“G-guys they’re getting away!” Muku went in between Yuki and Tenma pointing at Kazunari and Misumi who were already meters away from them 

“Hurry up hack,” Yuki ignored Tenma who yelled indignantly upon hearing the word hack leave Yuki’s mouth 

While the summer troupe busied themselves to make sure Kazunari had fun for the afternoon, everybody in the dorm worked for the evening party

“Come on Kazu! There’s a triangle here!” Misumi called up from the tree branch

“Sumi I can’t climb trees!” Kazunari called from below while Yuki and Tenma were beside Kazunari and catching their breaths 

“Oh there’s one there!” Muku pointed at the other side which Misumi easily jumped onto

“Kazu I’ll get you the best triangle!” Misumi grinned from below them, “So you’ll feel very happy today!”

Kazunari wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to. He was already happy with spending time with everybody 

“Thanks Sumi!” He grinned at Misumi who also smiled widely and continued to look for triangles from the tree

“That was dangerous.” Tenma commented after hours of searching for triangles, “Besides why would you take a traffic cone?!” He turned to Misumi, it was a good thing that there wasn’t any police or he didn’t want to even think about the consequences that they would have to face

But Kazunari didn’t mind if he spend his birthday in jail, if he was with his friends he thinks he could do it

“It was the biggest triangle!” 

“Still…” Tenma trailed off while Kazunari laughed

“Don’t sweat it Tenten!” He placed an arm around the highschool boy’s shoulder, “We’re here to have fun!” 

Tenma looked at Kazunari’s bright face and looked away, “Fine whatever.” He muttered while they all followed Misumi and Muku who were talking about today’s collection infront of them towards the park. It was the reason why they decided to head out anyways, to make sure that Kazunari haves fun

“Welcome Kazu!” Misumi spreads out his arms as he presents the picnic set out for him 

Kazunari could only stare in surprise, he thought they were still looking for triangles and besides, he wasn’t even expecting anything like this well, it’s not like he expected anything 

“Oi Friendly mcExtrovert are you just going to stand there?” Yuki cut off his thoughts as he sat down on the blanket laid on the ground, “Hurry up, we’re all hungry from that hunt.”

“‘Kay Yukki~” He basically skipped towards his four troupe members who were all waiting for him before they start eating 

“Woah this is totes so cute!” He praised as he took out the cupcakes and other foods from the basket 

“Hehe thanks,” Muku scratched his chin, “I helped Omi-san bake those.” He smiled widely, “B-but I’m not sure how it would taste.”

“Tastes good Mukkun!” He complimented the middle schooler as he took a bite after taking a picture of it. Muku smiled widely and nodded, also grabbing a piece of his own

“Should you be eating dessert first?” Tenma asked, grabbing a bento that they also made in the morning even before Kazunari wakes up

“Wah! You all helped make these?” Kazunari gasped in amazement 

“We did, hack almost burnt the whole kitchen.” Yuki pointed at Tenma who choked on his food and turned bright red

“Sh-shut up it’s not like I often cook!” He argued 

“Let’s head to the mall afterwards,” Yuki ignored Tenma who sulked, “There’s a sale and the hacks paying for what you want.” Yuki pointed at Tenma who just sighed and rolled his eyes 

“Really?” Kazunari once more asked in surprised, “Tenten you don’t have to-”

“It’s my gift, okay?” He looked away, his cheeks turning a light shade of red, “I wasn’t sure of what you wanted so this will be my gift.” He mumbled and focused his attention on the meat in his bento 

“Tenten…” Kazunari trailed off, no wonder the guy was always gazing at Kazunari the past few weeks and muttering to himself, he was thinking of potential gifts for him! But really, Kazunari was okay in whatever Tenma gets him, just like he said, it’s the thought that counts 

“Hurry up, alright! We have to get back-” Tenma didn’t get to finish whatever he was going to say for Yuki gave him a look that shut him up

Kazunari shrugged, and continued eating his meal as he listened to Misumi talk to the cats 

They got the idea that it was going to be chaotic, Misumi would run off once he sees a triangle (He almost did but stopped mid run and smiled at Kazunari) Yuki and Tenma would be arguing (They are but not as loudly as in the dorms) and thankfully Muku stayed as angelic as he is 

“Kazunari-kun, I think this would look great on you.” Muku pointed a hat inside a store, “Right Yuki-kun?” Muku turned to Yuki who stopped and thought about it 

“It does go with your usual outfits.” He nodded, “Do you want it?” 

Kazunari smiled, it was true that he already saw so much stuff already but he was enjoying himself more as the summer troupe hang out, with the usual noise with everybody in the troupe as they walked along store by store 

“We should head home by six.” Tenma looked at his watch, 

“Eh? That’s way too early Tenten!” Kazunari pouted 

“We’ll eat with everyone!” Misumi bursted out excitedly, “Director cooked curry!” He beamed as the other grimaced at the mention of curry for dinner that they already had the previous night and the night before 

“Okay, should I go for the hat? Maybe the shirt earlier?” Kazunari thought out loud, “Yukki what do you think would make girls go crazy?” Kazunari winked at Yuki who just sighed

“Buy all, the hack’s paying.” Yuki shrugged but Tenma argued

“Do I look like someone who picks money on trees?!”

“Hah? You make more money than all the company combined!” Yuki countered as they continued to argue in the middle of the mall, thankfully Tenma was wearing a disguise

“Besides why would he buy a shirt you already made him one!” Tenma’s voice rang, Kazunari blinked. Once again surprised at the revelation 

“Yukki made me a shirt?” He mumbled, slowly as if he was trying to decipher the simple sentence to himself. He knew the workload Yuki had as the designer for the whole company yet the thought that he still managed to make time to make him something… 

Yuki glared at Tenma and turned his head to the side, “What about it?”

“Nothing, thanks Yukki!” Kazunari grinned sheepishly, “Should I just get the hat then?” 

“Add the coat from earlier,” Yuki advised, “The color would look good together,” 

“But…” Kazunari trailed off as Tenma took out his wallet, he didn’t even need to use a card he just took out cash from his wallet like it was nothing

Perks of being rich 

“It doesn’t even cost that much,” Tenma said

“Show off.” Yuki commented which sparked another argument between the two which went on until they paid for the clothes 

“Ah today was so much fun!” Kazunari grinned as he walked beside Muku who nodded

“I’m glad to know you enjoyed today Kazunari-kun.” 

“Ah we’re almost there!” Misumi basically ran towards the dorm 

“We should’ve taken the car,” Tenma muttered

“Shut up if you didn’t get lost we would be home earlier.” 

Kazunari chuckled at the banter as he followed Misumi through the door and entered

“Wah it’s really quiet, did everyone leave?” Kazunari commented, he wasn’t going to say it out loud but he felt disappointed, he guess he was looking forward to partying with everyone

Their little group went towards the lounge and suddenly the lights turned on and he was faced with everyone wearing a party hat, a colorful banner behind them that screamed “HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAZU!!!” and food lined along the table as everyone in the company stood behind it with huge smiles on their faces as they waited for Kazunari to reach them and blow the candles 

Kazunari felt the corner of his eyes brim with tears, wiping them away he smiled widely and walked towards everybody that was waiting for him

Kazunari turned twenty 

It was the day he was already expecting everything to be minimal, but at twenty he finally got to have a birthday party, filled with food and laughter as everyone enjoyed themselves through the party. At twenty Kazunari’s childhood dream finally got granted, he was spending his special day with the people he can proudly call his family

[theyearsiturnedintoaghost]

Hello, Is This Thing On?

Hi! (as mentioned above). Do people still use this thing? I have no idea. Years ago, and I do mean YEARS ago, I had one of these. I didn’t use it for much, just reposting things, following humans I’d met in online communities, a ‘celebrity’ here or there, sometimes screaming about shit I couldn’t control into the void that is the endless scrolling interweb, and being pointless in wasting my time between classes, work, and twenty-something. Regardless, my previous tumblr had minimal followers, made minimal impact, and that was okay. It was honestly just a nice place to sort of hide in plain sight. Still be part of a social world without actually having to do much. This was also pre a billion other apps and social media outlets to express yourself or scroll mindlessly at a million other pointless things that people were posting to make you giggle or even just stop for a second and think.  

Clearly, the point of this, back then, felt like something I would use to help propel my writing career. Turns out, it did not. I did not write much, if at all. And most of the time I think it was because I was scared nothing was as good as any of the other stuff I was reading from people I liked, and thought were so much cooler and smarter than me; I still feel this way all of the time, but I do realize this was me being nervous, small minded about myself, and completely unconfident.  

Unfortunately, I am still most of these things a lot of the time, but recently, after getting fired from a job, having my heart broken by pretty much everyone on the planet, especially a few specific people, cancelled by all of my friends (?) - this is a thing btw. (It’s not as awful as being cancelled publicly, but it does still ruin your life, mindset, confidence, and overall physical and mental wellbeing) Getting a new job, hating it and feeling like I was going no where, and missing out on living a life I felt proud of and that I was actively participating in, I decided maybe I should just try to write it all out and see what happens. 

To be frank, I expect nothing of this. I can’t fathom a world where anything I have to say truly matters to people because lets be real - everyone has this own shit and everyone is going through so much all of the time.  And we all think we have something new, quirky, interesting, and important to say.  And in a world that constantly shoves perfection down our throats and works so hard to make each of us feel completely inadequate to every Kardashian, Beyonce, Grande, etc., it’s hard to really think that anything I have to say will matter to anyone; at all. 

(I also hate that all of my ‘perfectionist’ people were female, but maybe it’s harder to compare to Golden Boys when you are a female. Either way, there are many boys/men/theys/thems that are put on a pedestal and made out to be perfect out there, as well, and they deserve that notation as well. I just have no points of reference off the top of my head, so please forgive me; I am trying to do this in a stream of consciousness type thing.)

I mean, the truth is, I’m a fucking mess. I’m 33, single, living at home, afraid of my own shadow most of the time, and spend about 98% of my time alone. I pay for a phone plan that I literally only use to send memes to my two sisters, and that’s about it. I rarely receive texts, invites out, or even calls to make plans for something.  And while a lot of this is my own doing - again, I did cut off most of the world after I realized I was sort of the joke to a lot of people - it’s still kind of pathetic, and entirely uncool.  I am not a socialite, or someone cool and trendy, and to be honest, I kind of never want to be.  

Which is a semi-false statement, because years ago, when I had one of these previously, I sort of hoped it would work out and that I could write and be ‘cool.’ Whatever the fuck that means.  But now, years later, I’m honestly beyond glad I am not cool; not in the slightest. Maybe that’s making it to your 30s? Maybe the trade for having to create a daily routine of lathering up my body with like 9 different versions of FDA-Approved-Vampire-Juice on my skin to prevent me from looking any older than I already do, you in turn get to have a brain that finally realizes... having a ‘normal’ life is honestly pretty cool? Normal is clearly subjective here as everyone is normal, famous, notoriety, or not; They’re all still humans and people with feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is a hard thing to realize when you see stadiums full of people screaming at Harry Styles (Boom! found a male perfect in this scatterbrain) or hundreds of paparazzi lined up to take photos of every person on a red carpet wearing clothing that costs as much as my student loan debt (Which sidenote, is VERYYYYYY much). It’s hard to fully realize that maybe some of those people who became ‘icons’ never really knew what they were getting into when they signed that deal with the Devil to make them seemingly immortal; especially in a world with the internet where everything can exist forever (or until the world explodes, clearly).  But maybe getting into my 30s and removing myself from most social media outlets, even listening to the news, or caring about whatever fucking popular haircut was in this season (it’s always bangs, and I’ve already made that mistake. No thanks), that I learned to realize - the truly most important people in your life are the ones that stick with you when it’s tough. When getting out of bed is so hard your limbs ache and you cry every morning on your way to work, at your desk behind your computer screen hidden in a corner, or in a bathroom stall during your lunch break. The normalcy that comes with realizing your prayers to ‘just make it to five o’clock,’ are heard and that you are just so thankful for that that you don’t even desire the innate feeling in most of our egos to stand out, be seen, ‘Make it’ in a way that lets people notice we ‘succeeded.’ Maybe this only comes with the realization of how nice it is to go to a grocery store braless and unnoticed. 

Maybe this is also something I, and so many of us in this point and shoot viral world, are trying to still learn. 

Sure, a lot of days I still crave being able to make a perfect Pintrest project, practice my Late Night interview with Letterman where I sound funny, charming, and likeable to all walks of life, or recreate a recipe from the New York Times website so great that The Barefoot Contessa finds out through word of mouth, and comes to my basement hide out, and offers to give me, a fellow barefoot loving bitch, her title and crown along with a glass of wine and a kiss from her husband, Jeffery. We’ll both laugh at how lovely it feels to be Barefoot ladies who understand that wanting ‘fame’ or ‘recognition’ in your twenties is only really a pathway to destruction by your 30s. 

And this is not exactly something that I learned easy.  In fact, I spent most of my twenties destroying my body with drugs - plenty of hard ones - and alcohol - various kinds of the same things - in order to numb my brain from the sadness that is just... being young, lonely, scared, unsure of yourself, and nervous that all of your hopes and expectations for yourself in your ‘dream life’ are too much for what you and your actual self will ever be capable of ever becoming. That I would never become the comedian I dreamed of being, or sing the perfect song in front of a crowd of admirers, or write that best selling book to tell everyone who thought I was nothing they could go fuck themselves. It’s something I still have to remind myself, and my brain and ego, that are most likely things I will never do because those are lottery dreams.  And people you know don’t actually win the lottery. And at the end of the day, I am people you know. And sometimes it breaks my own heart to realize I may never feel that rush of making a crowd laugh, or creating a piece of art that makes someone feel seen, but as Pam, from The Office said, and I am paraphrasing, ‘there is beauty in ordinary things.’ And I think reminding myself of that as I sat on the beach this summer and watched a dad teach his son to surf, and how happy they both were when he got up, gave me that brief feeling of... being okay. I won’t lie, I did cry a little at this realization at that moment, and I am slightly teary now as I write it, but I think I’m not ashamed of that because being normal means I get to feel things as I do, in that moment, and that is something I think I lacked in my desiring-bigger-flashier- twenties; actually being present in the world and your place in it. Even if that is just as small as being kind to a random person on the street.

I think that is why everything I felt I wanted to write never came out correct.  It never came out ‘Perfect.’ And that was my problem for most of my life, even up until today, I’m afraid that I am a perfectionist in the ways that are preventing me from becoming... me. I’m still fearful that I am too late in ever ‘accomplishing’ anything I ever dreamed. I doubt I will ever actually write a book. I’m unsure I’ll ever make a decent living. I am beyond doubtful I am ever going to be loveable to someone whom I also want to love back. And maybe I’m a little scared that I’ll never have a kid, or that if I do have a kid, I’ll never be a decent parent. And I’m still working on breaking the cycle of thinking something has to ‘sound’ or ‘be seen as important’ to be meaningful. There is beauty in the ordinary. I’ve started to make it my mantra. Spoken in my head every time I see a teenage couple holding hands walking in town, a father holding their baby close to his chest, a woman dressed in a power suit striding through an office building or city on their way to make their own careers or push equality further. I’ve started to dream of how actual normalcy makes the real changes. How every 4th grade teacher has a chance to change some kids life.

Clearly, a lot of these personal fears I have about myself not being ‘enough,’ or doing something good enough to become successful at it and build a life out of it, are monotonous fears and privileged middle-class complaints. I’m aware they may not resonate with anyone, anything, or mean much more than just being an online public diary entry to my own meandering thoughts, but, still - I finally felt like I had to try.  

So here it is, the whole truth on how I let myself become a ghost for years. 

I hope someone will stick around while I just... try to explain it all, figure it all out, and hopefully make sense out of even being whatever a human who is hoping to grow even means. Hopefully, something here will resonate with someone else and we can create our own little weirdo corner of the world where we’re not seeking more than just trying to be honest with ourselves and what it means to be human.  Even if that means just posting a recipe for banana bread (thank you Gwen Steffani for keeping me able to spell Banana), reposting random memes about how we all want to scream for 30 seconds and feel better, or sad-girl diary entry posts about how I ruined my own life a million times over.  Oh, and maybe I’ll give you tips on how to stain your wood deck, because I spent my day doing that yesterday and basically, Home Depot is calling me to be in their ADs. 

But at the core of it all, lets be very real, it’s hard to be human in so many ways. And I’m just hoping this connects with anyone. Especially any of us who wished we were different - in any way.

xoxo

-K

[jcmorrigan]

Hey, wanna watch me cry? I found my old “KHIII wishlist” and let’s tick off how many things I got and how many things make me cry

·      Mozenrath as the secret boss - Yeah, I always knew this one was a long shot, but a girl’s gotta have a dream, you know?

·      Kairi being a complete and total badass - *LOUD SOBBING*

·      Guest stars from Square Enix properties besides FF and TWEWY (Ringabel would be really cool in the Restoration Committee) - I mean I guess there was a Gummi boss from another older game? Truth be told I think I just wanted Ringabel. I haven’t even played BD. I just like him because a friend likes him. Anyway, Squenix might be able to win back my heart again if Orpheus from BD2 ends up a boss but I don’t see that happening

·      Bring back Strike Raid and give it the EXACT same mechanic as KH1 - YOU HAD ONE JOB but I can’t be too mad because Attraction Flows are pretty

·      Terra gets his confidence restored - Hey, this one happened!

·      Eraqus gets called out on his bullshit - *SOBBING INCREASES IN VOLUME*

·      Ventus is just awesome - This one made it!

·      The return of Xion - YEAH BOIIIIII

·      And Roxas and Naminé but Xion takes priority - Hmmmmm. Okay, so we did get this, but Naminé was such an afterthought and didn’t get to play a plot role. Does it really count?

·      The ability to make a Gummi ship that looks like the Condor from Storm Hawks - Given the blueprints that exist, I’m SURE this is possible. I’m just never actually patient enough with the Gummi system to play around with it. But maybe one day I will, for shits and giggles, try to RECREATE CONDOR

·      Even actually being evil and continuing to be a snarky little shit - HE HAD US IN THE FIRST HALF. THEN *BREAKS DOWN CRYING*

·      Ienzo reforming and having an awkward friend dynamic with Kairi as he goes through his redemption arc - I mean, we were missing the Kairi dynamic, but I got this much!

·      Baymax as a Summon - Party member, not Summon, but we did get to team up with Baymax and I’m cool with that.

·      Actual brunette Rapunzel post-haircut at some point - Got her!

·      Hans and Demyx appearing in the same game - I CANNOT BELIEVE OF ALL THE THINGS ON THIS WISHLIST, THIS IS ONE OF THE ONES THAT CAME TRUE. I CAN’T BE TOO MAD

·      Return trips to Agrabah and Halloween Town (I don’t care that we’ve already been there 500 times; I never get tired of Al and Jack) - CRUSH MY DREAMS WHY DON’T’CHA

·      MORE DISNEY VILLAIN BOSS FIGHTS! - There were. Decidedly fewer Disney villain boss fights. But they did finally let me beat up the goddamn Kraken so I’ll take it

·      I know this one’s a long shot but a Monsters Inc. world SOLELY for the purpose of a Randall Boggs boss fight where he can turn invisible and shake your lock-on ability and you just have to guess where he is before he punches out half your HP - WHAT DO YOU KNOW. WE GOT THIS WORLD BUT NOT THE FIGHT. BUT RANDALL WAS STILL GREAT AND GOT TO DO THE DEATH TRAP GAUNTLET AND IT WAS LEGITIMATELY THE BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE GAME (well, okay, maybe not BEST, just...my favorite)

·      Also a Dr. Facilier boss fight needs to be singled out - Oh Facilier where art thou

·      Make the adorable Dream Eaters relevant somewhere - This was on me; all I said was “somewhere.” They put in the minimal effort to check this box and I should’ve specified I wanted them to be MORE THAN AN OPTIONAL SUMMON

·      Yen Sid with an actual Keyblade - I retract this because the Yen Sid moment we got instead was SO MUCH COOLER

·      Actually being able to travel to the Destiny Islands to do stuff instead of it being an intro or cutscene-only world - Let us access the forbidden islands Squenix

·      Expanded Twilight Town map (the spinoffs gave us expanded maps for Radiant Garden and Traverse Town) - HAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA

·      If Arendelle is a world and Elsa isn’t your party member, I want Anna to be hitting things with Kristoff’s guitar and that to be listed as her default weapon - Well, apparently we got frickin Marshmallow instead

·      Callaghan - No, I guess it was more important to fight DARKUBES

·      The return of every single leitmotif - BUT THIS ONE, WE GOT! Maybe missing a couple of the lesser ones, but almost EVERY piece Shimomura knocked out of the park came back and got badass new remixes! KHIII is altogether a mixed bag but its soundtrack is just aces.

·      Cruella de Vil - Fortunately she would get an antihero!AU origin story movie two years later that would kick all kinds of ass. As for KH, no, she’s still not there

·      The Emperor’s New Groove - They legitimately don’t want us to have anything nice

·      Mad Madam Mim, preferably to be introduced in Radiant Garden to oppose the Restoration Committee and Merlin just being fed up through the roof with this and Cid accusing Merlin of leading her here because SHE’S YOUR GODDAMN RIVAL - THEY DON’T WANT US TO HAVE. ANYTHING NICE

[eventidespirits]

Adam Allistair Freemont

Aliases: Edwin Lockhart, William Silva, Francis LaRue, Everett Brighton, James Fenwick

Apparent Age: "29"

Birthday: August 11th, 1897

Death Day: December 19th, 1926

Species: Vampire (Siren Bloodline)/Bloodbound Spirit

Gender: Cis Man

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: Primarily Heterosexual

Occupation: Photographer

Residence: Santa Marta, California; Morgan Kendrick's Psychic Realm

Universe: Primarily original lore but also Vampire the Masquerade where he's a Camarilla Toreador who defected to the Sabbat.

Appearance:

Height: 6'0

Build: Tall and lanky with angular shoulders and long limbs. He has a trim, lightly muscled physique with long delicate fingers and soft hands.

Eye Color: Luminous Yellow/Gold with slitted cat-like pupils and a darker, amber band around the edges.

Hair Color/Texture: Black, 1b hair texture. Just long enough for the ends to brush against his shoulders. Partially brushed back and parted to the right but a significant amount of his hair ends up falling into his face.

Face: Angular with a square jaw and high cheekbones. He has a mostly straight nose with a slight convex curve to the bridge. He has deep set eyes with heavy lids and dark circles and usually looks somewhat sleepy but in a strangely sensual way. Defined lips that are usually curved into a sadistic little smirk. He's quite attractive but in a way that feels vaguely dangerous or even predatory.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Adam has bright golden eyes with slitted cat-like pupils. He also has a rather large, jagged scar on his back, located between his shoulder blades. I'd include his *other* distinguishing characteristic but that's kinda NSFW ;)

Posture/Body Language: Confident, even arrogant, chin up, shoulders back but not in a way that looks particularly stiff. His body language is generally relaxed and easy, bringing to mind a big cat at rest -- there's always something about the way he moves that implies a predatory nature laying beneath his cool, collected surface. Adam walks with clear purpose and long, smooth strides and always knows how to make an entrance.

Voice: Soft and smooth with a deep timbre and confident inflection. Adam's voice is somewhat like poisoned honey or arsenic laced velvet -- smooth and sweet but with something slightly off.

Clothing Style: Adam prefers dark colors -- burgundy, blood red, black, charcoal, rich deep browns and the ocassional pop of gold or cream or a white dress shirt. He wears primarily expensive, tailored button downs made from things like silk, velvet or very high thread count cotton with the sleeves rolled up and the top three (or four) buttons undone. Sometimes with brocade, floral or striped patterns. If it's cooler out, he'll wear a black blazer or something similar. When it comes to pants, it's almost entirely black or charcoal tailored pants or pitch black jeans. He usually wears very few accessories -- a nice watch, a belt, a silver and garnet ring and a pendant on a thin silver or gold chain. Generally wearing pointed toe oxfords or other dress shoes. When it comes to outerwear, Adam generally prefers things like wool coats and the ocassional leather jacket (always real leather, too) (to get a better idea, check out his [Pinterest Board]

Skills

Social: Manipulation, Lying, Gaslighting, Flirting, Proper Etiquette, Public Speaking, Blame Shifting, Negging, Seduction

Physical: knife combat, some hand to hand combat, basic combat training (circa 1914), long range firearms/sniping, Ballroom Dancing, Fencing, Horseback riding, the carnal arts

Talents: Photography, Drawing, Poetry, Lying, Being an Asshole, Manipulation, Painting, Seduction, Sex

Knowledges: Fluent in French & Italian, Masters in Psychology (circa 1926), Photo Development (wet plate, autochrome, modern methods), some basic knowledge of financial law and property law

Hobbies: Photography, writing, breaking pretty girls, avoiding his deep-seated psychological issues, general hedonism

Special: Emotional Influence, Telepathy, Emotional Transference, Enhanced Stamina, Enhanced Strength, "Immortality", Enhanced Senses (esp sight), minor regeneration, sweet blood, emotional radar/supernatural empathy, hypnosis/mind control

Psyche

Strengths: Charismatic, quick-thinking, clever, good at understanding the thought processes of others, empathetic, deeply romantic, treats service workers well, dedicated, generally calm, high emotional intelligence, has critical thinking skills, polite*, can be incredibly sweet, adaptable, pays a lot of attention to his partners in bed, passionate, artistic, creative, protective

Weaknesses: selfish, self-absorbed, arrogant, manipulative, almost completley lacks compassion, disdain for basically everyone around him, dishonest, has a horrible temper, needs constant attention and praise, has a massive inferiority/superiority complex, overconfident, easily susceptible to flattery, deep-seated intimacy issues, can't stand being wrong, terrified of vulnerability, paranoid, detached from his own emotions/denies his own humanity, callous, sadistic, can be incredibly rude, actually a bit of a coward, condescending, possessive, jealous and generally kind of a dick.

Fears: genuine intimacy, abandonment/loneliness,true death, being buried alive

Goals: To finally create the perfect art piece (i.e., break someone in just the right way -- he's not even sure what this MEANS, he's just sure he'll "know" when he finally does it), to just enjoy his immortality.

Personality: On the surface, Adam seems likable enough -- at least, at first. He's incredibly charming and thoughtful, often anticipating people's wants before they're even able to articulate them, witty, intelligent and seemingly very polite...

But beneath that surface lurks a spoiled rich kid who learned early on in life that having money, being good looking and charming meant he could get away with almost anything. Adam is self-absorbed and arrogant and almost everything he does is a carefully crafted performance intended to get people on his side and manipulate them into doing what he wants.

Beneath even that, which he desperately tries to ignore, is a little boy who was spoiled by his mother and entirely ignored by his (largely absent) father -- a young man who was traumatized by being forced to fight in WWI and who is full of deep-seated fears and insecurities.

To make up for this, Adam is often sadistic towards the people around him -- but in that way where it's difficult to tell that he's actually being cruel until one looks back at the conversation.

He has difficulty genuinely connecting to others because of those insecurities and instead uses his powers as a Siren to make the people around him love and adore him-- no matter how badly he treats them.

Life

Best Memory: Being gifted his first camera, meeting his Maker.

Worst Memory: Somewhere between when he almost died during WWI and his actual death...

Biggest Achievement: Getting his Masters

Prized Possession: Silver and Garnet ring gifted to him by his Maker, his first camera, his black 2020 Ferrari Portofino (with the red leather interior), (he also has an engraved custom sniper rifle but a friend picked the model and shit for me and I cannot remember what it is for the life of me)

Favorite Color: Red, Gold

Favorite Food:

-Mortal Food: Partial to anything rich and flavorful, prefers food that's not pointlessly ostentatious (nothing coated in gold leaf, that's absurd), dry red wines, Italian Cream Cake, Eggs Benedict, Crepes Suzette

-Blood: Blood taken in the heat of the throes of passion from someone that's truly and deeply in love with and obsessed with him...

Favorite Scents: Blood, Gasoline, Cloves, Cinnamon, Resin, YSL Nuit, roses, vanilla, rain, the sharp smell of a cloudless winter night

Favorite Songs: Winter, 1st Movement - Vivaldi, Raindrops - Chopin, La Vie En Rose - Edith Piaf

Can't Leave Home Without: At least one knife somewhere on his person.

Birthplace: San Francisco, California

Childhood: Adam is the only child out of six in his family to survive to adulthood with four older siblings who had either in infancy, had been stillborn or died of tuberculosis when Adam was still too young to remember them. He had one younger sibling, a sister named Mary who was killed in an accident at the age of 6 when Adam was 8 years old. His parents were already a little bit older by the time he was born and his father was the owner of an incredibly lucrative railroad line and had profited greatly from the Gold Rush as well as owning multiple properties in San Francisco and neighboring Santa Marta...

Due to the loss of her other children, Adam's mother doted on him -- giving into his every whim, supplying him with the best education she could and basically just spoiling the ever loving fuck out of him. His father, on the other hand, was always busy with work and when he was home, had nothing but criticism for Adam who desperately tried to gain his approval to no avail.

Adolescence: Adam developed a passion for photography as a teenager and discovered that being good-looking, clever and rich meant he could get away with A LOT more than most people and also meant that he rarely heard "no" and accepted it as an answer even less often (though he rarely resorted to force to get his way, relying instead on bribery, flattery, blackmail and implied threats). All of this gave him quite an interest in psychology and he intended to become a clinical psychologist. During his adolescence, Adam would have a great many girlfriends and despite being a selfish and manipulative little shit, was actually not the world's worst boyfriend and no hint of the violent temper and genuine sadism he'd develop after being Changed.

Adulthood: Adam's education would be interrupted by the outbreak of WWI,which if asked he will describe as "incredibly distasteful and personally inconvenient." He was a skilled marksman and sniper but was otherwise unremarkable -- much to his father's disdain. After nearly dying in one of the trenches of France after taking a grievous bayonet wound in the last few months of the war, Adam would be sent back from the frontlines and would shortly begin work on continuing his education...

However -- despite the fact that he would complete all seven years necessary to get his degree, Adam's interest in becoming an actual psychologist wouldn't ever come to fruition. In 1925, he would meet Amelia Madeleine Smith -- an unbelievably beautiful and charming socialite from Santa Marta who would see Adam's potential as a source of money and influence for the Nightingale Court of Northern California. She would spend the next year carefully grooming him to become her protege -- manipulating him much in the same way he would later manipulate the women he dates as a vampire -- using emotional transference, mind control and mundane manipulation to cause him to fall madly in love with her... In December of 1925, Amelia would finally perform the ritual of transformation on him and bring Adam over into the world of the Supernatural.

Unfortunately for Adam, his Change would take nearly two weeks to complete -- two weeks spent in absolute agony beyond anything he'd experienced before. Amelia, believing the most important first step for a newly born vampire is to break their bonds to humanity would kidnap his mother during this change and leave her for him to kill upon waking. Adam would remain with Amelia (who used her bond as Adam's maker to control most of his actions and her abilities as a Siren to continue to influence his emotions) until 1980 when she was killed by a member of the Bram Park Wolf Pack in Santa Marta, leaving Adam behind. During this period, Adam would end up being "taken in" by a bonded pair of Stryza -- Camille Belikova and Lucy DeSantos and would act as their primary draw for new playthings.

Recent: Adam met Morgan Kendrick at the Velvet Box goth club in Santa Marta when Morgan was twenty two years old and would sweep her off her feet, intending to make her into his "masterpiece"... Three years into this relationship, Adam would finally Change Morgan, which would break the initial control he had over her and result in her, in a fit of rage, completely draining him and through a magical fluke, causing his spirit to become bonded/fused with her blood...

Recently, Adam's presence has disappeared from Morgan's psyche due to the machinations of Miss Belikova and her wife -- though it appears that the two of them are still inextricably linked in a way beyond the usual bond between Maker and Fledgling.

Relationships

Family: Lawrence Freemont (Father; Deceased), Anne Freemont (Mother; Deceased), Mary Freemont (Sister; Deceased)

Lovers: Amelia Smith (Maker; Deceased), Morgan Kendrick (Fledgling, Ex, Soulbond), Many other unnamed girls.

Friends: Camille Belikova, Lucille DeSantos, Jonathan Andreason

Enemies: Morgan Kendrick, the Bram Park Wolfpack

Acquaintances: Miranda Cortez (Queen of the Nightingale Court of Santa Marta)

Income: Moderately Wealthy

Vehicles: 2020 Ferrari Portofino

Residences: Penthouse Apartment in Vista Rosa, a small Victorian row house in Val Del Mar and a 1br/1ba apartment in Park Verde (all located in Santa Marta)

[kaaras-adaar]

Kaaras and Kilt Wearing

// I think I had some old headcanons on this, but they’re lost in the void and most likely outdated anyway. So I wanted to do a proper revamp of Kaaras and when it comes to kilt wearing.

Longer term Rpers probably remember parts of this, or art I’ve done, but for anyone new, this is PRETTY old, so I wouldn’t be surprised if no one knew Kaaras wore kilts in a more traditional (or when home farmlike) setting. Generally speaking, you will not see him wearing a kilt around Skyhold or the battlefield. Only on special occasions does he wear dress kilts, and only at home, working the farm, does he wear working (utility) ones.

It would be super handy to first of all read THIS POST, which I am heavily going off when it comes to Thedasian climate, history, geography and the reasons WHY I don’t believe that kilts = Starkhaven and why they would be seen more in Ferelden, or at least I think. Ofc, the upcoming games could always overwrite this headcanon, but until then, this makes logical sense to me and a cultural sense. You also have to remember that Thedas isn’t Earth. Most of the countries in Thedas are inspired by MULTIPLE cultures here.

The main reason for Kaaras being comfortable in kilts is because he grew up poor. These were easy to make, easy to wear, especially for the work around the farm. I could see them being more traditional in setting as well, for those of nobility who may wear them (which are far more pretty and made of higher quality materials). Kaaras’ kilts as a boy were not flashy, not tartan, they were just plain pieces of fabric, plain utility kilts. They helped movement, and with keeping cooler and warmer depending the months.

Kilts for him nowadays are mainly used for formal occasions.

I’m sure there’d be some history behind their creation in a Thedasian setting, but I’m just going to leave that ambiguous atm because this is just my own headcanons. I assume there are definitely uses for them in a formal way for Ferelden as well. For instance, here in Australia, our police parades use them, and our military (we’re not Scottish, but we are still under the Commonwealth of the UK–it’s a part of our heritage, too, and MINE personally considering my heritage is Scottish), and they also play the bagpipes. Can you imagine Fereldan royalty in them for special occasions, parades, etc. It would be amazing!

Kaaras didn’t have a lot of clothes growing up, in fact, most of his clothes were rags and oversized shirts or something that covered his nudity. To be honest, his underwear was probably just a cloth wrapped around his hips. Yes, Kaaras was that poor as a child. Everything that the rams gave them went right back into the rams. They had money to pay for food, make some crops, etc. Nothing to really be new or special, everything was second hand and used, or hand crafted from his mother, sometimes, they could afford a special treat if they earned enough from the farm at the markets, or someone gave them a good trade.

His father did some odd jobs here and there for the villages over, which earned them some extra sovereigns, enough to maybe keep a ram blanket for them every now and again. So, clothes for Kaaras were not really an option, he ALSO got used to wearing things that might be considered a robe/dress/lack of pants. He got used to being barefoot and his legs showing. This might seem a shock to those who know Kaaras now, because he hardly resembles the poverty he once came from (particularly since he’s been working with nobles the last few years in Starkhaven and has adopted some of their finery).

Wearing a kilt would be no issue for him. That’s at least until he changed and grew up. Kaaras is exceptionally insecure about his body, even more so as he grew into being a man. When his father died, he had no male figure, and therefore didn’t enjoy or understand his body. He also grew taller and the more he interacted with humans, the worse it became to being so very aware of how different he was. Thus he began to cover himself up and became exceptionally private.

Wearing kilts or skirts and dresses were normal as a boy. Many of the poor kids in Ferelden wore them also, so it wasn’t anything different to see on him. But as he got older, as he mingled with older children and of course adults, that changed a lot. He was more aware of how ugly his body was in comparison. He was also earning money, so he could purchase something of finer quality, something that could cover him more.

When Kaaras moved to Starkhaven, I feel wearing a kilt would have been seen as something almost… preposterous. Especially showing skin near nobles. Kaaras didn’t have a need to wear them anymore. So he didn’t. He also wanted to keep a professional look about him. His clothes are influenced over time to be a professional appearance, someone to be taken seriously. His clothes SPEAK for him, show that he is not poor like he once was, show that he demands to be heard and respected.

Only in a more traditional setting does Kaaras wear a kilt now. He has gotten used to wearing pants and prefers them greatly (because he doesn’t like his skin showing anymore). Nowadays, it is kept for something shown when he is representing his country, as a Fereldan man. He does not wear one at the Winter Palace because he goes by Josephine’s orders as she knows how to deal with Orlesians more than he does. However, he does wear one during his wedding, with whoever he marries (default verse or RP).

[mytwitterisdogtoast1]

Yugi’s decks and some other odd stuff that just makes sense.

This is a weird double kind of post where I focus on many things because of a little project I’ve been working on. So as anyone who has ever grown up and has been into Yu-Gi-Oh knows you just can’t not like the anime. From the ridiculous duels and cards to the ridiculous hair on every single character and I’m not talking about the newer shows so much as just the original show because that’s probably the “best” one to most people (partial to GX myself even though I know it’s not the best and Konami kinda messed up on it at the end of the series in USA). See if you watch the show a simple easy thing that anyone who gets it would like would be to get the decks of a character. Heck even if it was Weevil people would be a little excited but not as excited as if they got one of the main characters. Which was great because even though it’s old news I was very excited to buy the legendary decks for Yugi. See that is an amazing product idea that can bring in everyone who likes Yu-Gi-Oh. You bring in the casuals by giving them his decks, you bring in the collectors for cards that don’t exist yet here in the west or even those who have missed out on older cards, and you bring in the more serious crowd for cards that are in archetypes that might be harder to find maybe (probably not because the game has evolved to such a degree that even mirror force isn’t good anymore.) but still 2/3 ain’t bad. Let’s be honest though. This is Konami so they’re gonna find a way to fuck it up and I’m a decent guy so I usually try to have some faith in things. Even things like Konami who ruin most of their IPs in general but hey, I keep that faith. This was a simple thing to do but in the end they messed it up with really easy to do things. Now let’s just be really honest about this. if this product interested you. You would buy it if it hit the sweet spot of cost = product. I know I would and I’m sure many others would as well. Let’s assume Konami does its best in that it not only releases every single card Yugi has ever used before but also makes each card that doesn’t exist, to exist. They would have to make a handful of cards yes, but people would probably go and buy that product cause every deck he’s run is in it in their entirety. We can assume they would use his actual deck lists and make his actual decks. Yeah, his decks are not good but let’s face it fan, cosplayers, kids, adults and everyone and their grandma would buy this product. Nostalgia is a huge thing nowadays and even if we can’t play it in a tournament and hope to win we could just roll up, throw down a fiver and just play that sweet sweet celtic guardian. Now let’s be a little more realistic. Let’s assume we take the middle road which is absolutely the best idea. Heck we’ll take both sides of that road and give two middle road ideas that are the best idea. Make his actual decks and only use cards printed while printing about 5 cards that haven’t been made. That electromagnetic turtle is pretty dope not gonna lie. Point is even then we would still get a 4 card deck from each main part of the journey. 120 cards, 5 promos, the art cards for duelist kingdom, the god cards (playable or not even) would not set anyone back hard in printing since they’re all stuff already made in real life and would even bring cards like torike and horn imp into the west which haven’t even come here. Heck don’t even make decks. Throw in every card from every single season he has ever used. We don’t need to have 2 giant soldier of stones. (yes he uses two at one point) It would however be nice if we just got the cards the way he has them in looks and what he has. Call it Yugis legendary collection and it is the same exact thing. The worst thing you could do is just make his deck and just add in random shit like 3 dark magician girls. Which is what they did. Like This is a simple thing to make man how could you mess up by adding cards he didn’t use in decks when they didn’t exist then? Even detonate which is a card Kaiba uses. Look man it’s not the biggest of deals but the fact that the next set was stuff “based on their main cards” and Yugi had exodia? HE USED IT IN ONE DUEL. Make a dark magician deck. Sure it would reprint some of the same stuff but lets face it. THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WOULD WANT. We don’t want something LIKE it. We want that thing.  Why does this matter? Honestly besides how sad the product was it really made me want the thing I didn’t get and it is near impossible ( at least I assume) to get torike and horn imp in the west when I believe it has had one printing in the east only and the only way to buy the cards are to go buy Orica stuff. Which in their own way is nice too. Support artists. So I took it upon myself to make those exact decks and to in general just make it a small side project in my life. Duelist kingdom deck was mostly easy to do and I am missing just 3 cards so I can buy 2 of them no problem and the others are torike and horn imp. Cards we never got (fuck you Konami). That’s when I started to see the other seasons which are not cannon in comics but are technically cannon in the show. Filler is a very iffy thing to use but I’m super casual and actually like filler in things I like. Hell DBZ has some of the better filler in the side stuff it puts in because it never really changes much. However sometimes you can have too much filler or filler that changes the series totally (stares at bleach, Naruto, and one piece. You all know what you did).  Now why does this also matter? Because it raises a ton of questions about the series in general when you look at a characters decks. Did you know that as iconic as Gaia the fierce knight is he doesn’t show up past duelist kingdom? Even in the manga he only has it in duelist kingdom. This raises a ton of questions. Like Gaia the dragon champion is really good in the anime. Because let’s face it. If you are going to use chimera in your duels than why not have Gaia in there as well to make a stronger monster? It’s one of his boss monsters. I mean he still uses curse of dragon in every deck except waking the dragons which again I know it’s not fully cannon but that shouldn’t stop them from using him. Unless there was a decent enough reason. I think that reason is you don’t need the monster itself in duelist kingdom to make the fusion. Which I can actually make an argument for. Yugi has 2 monsters in his deck. First is Black skull dragon and Dragon master knight. I know one is filler but it would fit the same argument regardless because even if we take from the anime it might be a little different in the manga and comic for battle city but that is indeed cannon. So the point I’m making is it’s a little strange Yugi would have either of those mosnters in his deck. He never knew he was going to work with Joey or Kaiba ever so why would he just have them? Trade doesn’t really work that way in the show cause we never see it and I know that dude isn’t carrying around cards because let’s face it. He didn’t bring anything but his cards and a glove. He didn’t have replacement cards. Which makes you wonder where the time wizard was from when he gave it to joey. He isn’t carrying extra cards cause the world doesn’t have packs the same way and cards would be more diverse or shittier and packs are like 5 cards per pack. So having such a rare and powerful card like that and it just “being around” makes 0 sense. Which makes you believe that it came from his deck. So time wizard was an original card. We have to remember that the reason he never played it is he never drew it in his duels and then gave it to Joey. Which makes the most sense. So if we go by that logic it would be understandable that since time wizard doesn’t fuse into baby dragon that you don’t even need thousand dragon in the extra deck. That also means dark sage isn’t even in Yugis deck because if it was meant to pair with time wizard he’d have taken it out or he just simply never ran into it or was a jerk and threw it in to counter Joey. So by that logic the reason Gaia never made a return is he never had the fusion in the first place. This makes me assume many things about the decks written are kind of misleading. Firstly the fact that Yugi has the same deck kind of but changes it every season. It makes 0 sense that he would in a world where cards are not a common supply even though it is the most common thing in his world to have that he would just always remake his deck mostly alike and then in general change 10 cards out only to put them back in to only take them out again. So when mysical elf is in his deck in virtual world but he doesn’t put 2 giant soldiers of stone in makes me question if he actually even doesn’t have mystical elf in his deck normally but sure as heck has feral imp. I came to the conclusion that in every season Yugi is just running the same deck with no differences. If there are differences it would be he added them in later on because he got the card and the only reason we never see it is that the man has over 80 cards in his deck. No it’s not 40 no matter how many times he says it because anime rules. It makes even less sense to change the deck not just for every season but every duel that he would have life shaver in against Kaiba only and then never play it in a duel ever again or something along those lines. Why does this matter? If I am going to make his decks I want to be as “accurate” as possible and am going to make his decks but it’s not like anyone wants to just make 7 decks for the dude. Especially when you take the Pharaoh into account as well. And who even wants to actually just make a Yugi themed deck? It’s not the same as having his decks themselves. It is much cooler in the end to actually have his deck. Even if it is 4000 cards large.

[teruthecreator]

if you're comfortable, could you say what specifically you hated about the finale? i never got into amnesty but i liked balance so i would like to know how disappointed i should be ://

okay i’m gonna explain this in-detail exactly Once bc i’m trying rlly hard to just forget about the whole epilogue and keep it moving like that shit never happened, so for anyone else who is asking me why i don’t like the finale (and im not saying you’re wrong for asking, anon, it just seems that when you vocally do not like a thing there are hundreds of people who come out of the woodworks to ask you why and i think thats kinda Huh, Weird of everyone but like whatever) i’m gonna lay it all out here on the table and you can take this as you will. 

i’m not gonna be getting into fistfights with people abt this so if you disagree please don’t try and banter with me. i am running on

also, CRITICISM OF ART DOES NOT MEAN CRITICISM OF THE ARTIST. I AM NOT CRITICIZING THE MCELROYS AS HUMAN BEINGS, BUT RATHER THEIR ARTISTIC DECISIONS IN TAZ: AMNESTY. MORE PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A SEPARATION BETWEEN ART AND ARTIST, AND ONCE YOU (AS AN ARTIST) POST A PIECE, IT BECOMES SUBJECT TO CRITICISM. I AM NOT BRINGING GRIFFIN, JUSTIN, TRAVIS, OR CLINT’S CHARACTERS INTO QUESTION; I AM SIMPLY GIVING A CRITICISM ON THE SHOW THEY’VE CREATED AS A WORK OF ART. 

oh, this goes without saying, but i will anyway: SPOILERS FOR AMNESTY (IN GENERAL, BUT ALSO FOR EPISODE 36) 

i’m gonna start off by saying, i don’t think the whole episode was a total disaster. there are two things mainly that have ruined the whole experience for me, but for the most part i thought the like first 2 hours of this episode were a lot of fun! the fight scene was a little bogged down in the rolls imo, but it didn’t deter me too much from the overarching boss battle. the intro was a sick concept, i enjoyed the callback bits spliced in w newly scripted bits from mentioned past encounters, that was all well and good. i loved beacon in the episode, and god do i wish he stayed for the whole thing. 

my problem mainly sits with the epilogue, which is why i think the whole episode turns sour in my mind. because the epilogue is supposed to be what satiates your desire to know more, right? not to reference balance too much (bc these are two completely different stories w different premises, and for people to so readily compare them is kinda wack. that being said, they are two stories made by the same people that use an epilogue to wrap up the loose ends, so im gonna make this one comparison), but the epilogue told us, the listener, all the things we wanted to know about after the day of story of song. we got to know what they did, a little bit of their interpersonal relationships, and we even got a big group scene with the killarey wedding! 

this epilogue, though, feels like it left so much still on the table. one of those things i will swing back to later because it is the largest part of my argument, but after all of this time we still don’t know why everyone at the lodge got exiled! no one talks about it! we don’t know how dani ended up there, or jake, or barclay, or moira, or anyone! they don’t reference the banishments at all, which i think is a huge shortcoming figuring that is the core premise as to why these characters exist in our pc’s world in the first place. 

i also feel like the concept of the worlds being divided for a long time is kind of a dumb way to go about framing what they do After The Fact. like, they could have had those scenes happen without the looming concept of them being divided, especially when their big reunion scene is like 2 minutes long and basically does nothing. what would have been a cooler premise is if billy connected the worlds, and the worlds worked together in rebuilding themselves. we still could’ve had the same bits happen (for the most part), but i just think that whole separation bit kinda alienated the pc’s (especially thacker). 

but everything up to aubrey’s epilogue bit is fine. i have some problems, but it’s fine. where i started to completely abandon the work itself though is duck’s bit, and i’m gonna get into it by saying this: I know Justin Mcelroy is not legally required to make all of his characters gay, but this whole scene was just a big reminder to me that this show is done by 4 straight white men

and yeah, my big problem with this scene is the fact that justin had to make Duck/Minerva a thing. because it adds nothing to the story while also being a very skeevy concept in-general, and it reduces minerva’s character down to the Hero’s Girlfriend trope and it’s so comphet and she doesn’t deserve it. 

my first grievance with this: It adds nothing to the story. 

had justin not even mentioned the relationship part of their interaction before the scene actually took place, this scene would be like every other scene involving duck and minerva prior to this. duck says honey once, and even that could’ve been played off as duck just being affectionate to his friends (which is a thing, i call several of my friends “my love” irl and it isn’t a big deal). minerva doesn’t even use pet names, she calls duck by his full name, which is exactly how she addressed him in every other scene! duck’s speech is a genuine heart-puller, but it was completely soured by the fact that justin had to premise this entire scene by saying duck and minerva are a thing. 

my second grievance: it’s a skeevy-as-all-hell concept. 

this whole premise is nasty seven ways from sunday, and it is my biggest problem with duck’s bit as a whole. for starters, and i think more people need to mention this, minerva meets duck on the night of his 18th birthday. which means duck has literally just stopped being legally considered a minor before minerva appears before him. and honestly, i would still consider duck a minor in this case because he has literally just turned 18!!! his brain has not developed past one of a 17-year-old on the exact date of his birthday, and i argue it will not until he is at least in his twenties. keep in mind, your brain does not stop developing until you are about 25. so while in the legal sense, duck is an adult, in both the mental and emotional sense at that exact moment, duck is still a minor. AND he’s still in high school, as referenced in his response to her call to duty: “i got class tomorrow”. and minerva is old enough to have become the minister of defense for her homeworld, go through an entire war, and have several other chosen ones (including leo tarkesian, who is at least 20 years older than duck) before meeting duck. so that makes her much, much older than duck when she meets him. and i don’t care if they had barely any interaction after that first moment (though they did, as justin legit talks about when he introduces minerva as a concept to the show), that still establishes their initial interaction at a massive age difference. which, regardless of anything, makes their eventual relationship so genuinely messed up. 

sure, you can argue that when you get older age doesn’t make that much of a difference, and i would agree. my mother is 53 and her husband is 63, that’s ten years. but my mother and step mother did not meet at 8 and 18, they met at 50 and 60. the initial interaction makes all the difference between “older people meeting and having a relationship” and “a very messed up situation”. 

also, in this same argument, taking the mentor-student relationship and turning it into a romantic relationship IS SO MESSED UP!!!! GENUINELY AND HONESTLY MESSED UP!!! i feel like i don’t need to explain this because there have been so many examples already as to why this is a relationship you Should Not turn romantic, but i will anyway because it frustrates me so much that justin completely glosses over this!!! the power dynamic of a mentor-student relationship, in whatever way it is portrayed, displays a power balance that is heavily leaning to one side. there is not an equal distribution of power amongst the two because one person is teaching the other. the one person is weak to the others wills and whims because of lack of experience. think of your high school teacher or college professor; if you started a relationship with them, people would raise so many questions because you are not at equals to the teacher/professor. even if they treat you different, and even if they no longer teach you, it all has to do with the initial interaction. and minerva was still duck’s mentor up until either episode 34 or 35, when she handed off the title of Herald of the Astral Mind to duck. that means for nearly all of their interactions, there was a mentor-student dynamic. to have that turn into a romantic relationship is so sketchy and weird and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

my third grievance: it reduces minerva’s character down to a girlfriend trope, and it’s comphet as hell 

my friend tin (@taako–waititi) phrased this so well in the big group chat im in w her, so imma just quote her on this and then go into the comphet stuff: 

“i was dming max about it and they also mentioned, quote, ‘her story was never about romance. it reduced her down to ‘competent woman becomes endgame girlfriend’ trope’ and they are so right it makes me fucking pissed. regardless of any ‘mutual respect’ and ‘emotional intimacy’ kind of thing going on that some people are arguing for, it’s something that didn’t need to happen because minerva’s character becomes that. my thing is mutual respect and emotional intimacy between two people can. exist. without it being. romantic. like. friendship is. also valid. i personally don’t think that mutual respect and emotional intimacy are two buttons that you press to make the machine churn out a romance” 

not only does it reduce minerva’s character to tropes, but it also is extremely comphet for a woman who is so heavily wlw-coded or lesbian-coded and it just angers me. you could argue that she could be bi, but if we look at canon for just its face-value, the only romantic interaction she ever has is with a man, which basically makes her straight. this isn’t like aubrey’s situation, where travis clearly states she is a bi woman who is just in a relationship with another woman in amnesty. griffin doesn’t state anything about minerva’s sexuality and then she’s paired off with a man right at the end. and you could argue that she isn’t wlw or lesbian-coded, but i am not the only one who is wlw and thinks this, so i feel like i have more of a ground to stand on in this opinion. and this just feels so, like, textbook compulsory heteronormativity it made me feel physically sick when i heard this bit in the podcast. 

so that’s my first big issue with the finale, fully explained. my second issue with the epilogue is that ned’s death continues to be disappointing and his character arc is never completed, which just tanks the whole show for me. 

i’ve talked about this several times since ep 28 about how ned’s death was stupid and did nothing for his character arc, but i’m gonna reiterate my main points for the people who find this post without knowing my whole blog:

1. ned’s main interpersonal conflicts are just brought to the surface and never fully delved into before his sudden death. ned doesn’t ever get to explain his history with boyd and why he had to steal shade tree to mama or barclay or really anyone besides vaguely to aubrey. 

2. every character is just immediately expected to feel sad about ned’s death, despite the tension that still remains right up until the very end. aubrey shouldn’t have even known that the shapeshifter framed ned because that’s all explained once she goes to sylvain, but i think travis just assumed she did because he heard the interaction between ned, mama, and barclay. so she should’ve had Way more conflicting feelings about the whole thing, but ned’s death is just angst-bait so that doesn’t happen.

3. ned’s death doesn’t make roll sense because clint rolled a mixed success and mixed successes, by definition, are supposed to be less severe moves than a failed roll (which gives the gm the ability to make a hard move). there isn’t really anything harder to do to a character than kill them, but even if you wanted to argue that if clint failed the roll the hard move would’ve been ned failing and letting dani get shot, it still doesn’t change the fact that clint rolled a mixed success when slamming into the pizza hut sign at full velocity and came out of that alive (severely injured, naturally, but still alive). 

so, yeah, there’s that. and then theres the fact that griffin doesn’t ever give us any other scenes involving ned directly. ned only becomes a reference from 28 on, which is so disappointing given ned’s importance to the other two pcs. and i understand that the mcelroys have a lot of trauma related to death, but griffin shouldn’t have killed ned off then if he did not want to talk about death in graphic detail. we all have trauma. we all want to avoid topics. but to kill ned off and then never talk about his death in great relation to the others is a genuine disservice to ned’s character. 

the day episode 28 aired was the same day i buried my grandmother. i would have loved if death wasn’t brought up, but i don’t control the podcast. the mcelroys do; they had the ability to avoid this topic in a more servicing way to the characters and they didn’t. that isn’t to say they are bad people for not doing it, but it makes the finale even more disappointing because it means we never get the full rounding out of ned’s character arc. he becomes this like brief reference that is, once again, angst-bait or emotional fuel and i feel like he didn’t deserve that. he deserved a genuine reference, a genuine moment. even a dream sequence i would have appreciated!!! 

griffin had sylvain directly point at ned in aubrey’s flashback in ep 35, and then did nothing about what that could have implicated in the finale. it sours the entire episode in a major way and disappointed me immensely. there should have been more done with that topic and there wasn’t and i will never forget how deeply it hurt me and turned me away from canon as a whole. not to be ned kin on main, but ned was the backbone of this show and the exact moment he left was the exact moment the whole thing went downhill. it turned less into a story about growth and adversary and amnesty and more into a waiting game for when this very loose end was going to get wrapped up. 

i wanted to enjoy this episode. i tried so hard, y’all. but just the thought of ned loomed over me the entire time and i was waiting for a more proper completion to his arc, and it never happened. and coupled with that very bad and skeevy duck/minerva bit i was just so frustrated and hurt last night. 

so, yeah, that’s my whole spiel. you are free to disagree with me, but keep that opinion to yourself because i’m not getting into it with anyone. i will just block you; it’s better for us both, anyway. 

[mediocrity-at-best]

Leaf You Happy

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Title: Leaf You Happy

Prompt: jumping in leaves

Warnings: Remus, brief Deceit, Remus-regular dialogue

Pairings: Familial Creativitwins

Words: 1,450

@sanderssidescelebrations This is for the first day of Spooky Month! I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope y’all have fun reading! If there’s anything else I need to tag/warnings I need to mention, let me know!

Without further ado, my first submission!

Roman sits inside, staring out the window longingly. There is not a speck of green in sight, and he could not be happier. The trees stand as tall but bare guardians against the sky and their leaves litter the ground like some kind of giant’s discolored dandruff. Even with the window open only a crack, the most delicious autumn chill is creeping in the air and he can already smell pumpkin spice. He can’t wait to go to Starbucks for his first official Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season.

But that isn’t what has him so excited today.

Today, Roman is looking more specifically forward to a tradition he and his brother have enforced since they were children. Something neither one of them could imagine going without, and also something entirely undignified. It was maybe the least princely thing Roman derived joy from. But also quite possibly the best.

The Annual Leaf Jump. It has been called many things over the years, but the rules have never changed: you make a truly absurd pile of leaves, you run at it, and you jump in. It’s how they know that sweater season has started, and how they welcome Halloween every year. It appeals to Remus’s taste in the messy with the explosion of leaves and the damp ones on the bottom of the pile and Roman’s taste in the beautiful, cinematic splash of reds and oranges that make him look amazing if you get a picture at just the right moment.

He can’t wait to do it.

In preparation, yesterday he and Remus had raked all the leaves in their front and back yard into a pile and then even raked their neighbor’s leaves up too, free of charge. It was a lot of work, but now the giant pile of leaves was almost as tall as Roman and in all the most beautiful shades of red and orange and yellow. They dried in the sunny chill of the autumn day and now are perfectly crunchy.

Roman wishes Remus didn’t have class today.

Still, there’s nothing to do about it except wait until he gets home at two. Luckily, that’s only twenty minutes away. Unfortunately, that is still twenty minutes away.

Until the front door bursts open and Remus is spilling in.

“Remus! It is today! Are you ready?” Roman yells. Remus is already grinning maniacally.

“Ready as a juicy butthole.” Sometimes Roman regrets that Remus was given the power of speech. Sometimes he wishes he’d absorbed his twin in utero.

“Yeah, uh, okay,” Roman says. “Are you going to wear…that?” Roman gestures vaguely at Remus’s shirt, a dark green crop top proclaiming ‘BLOW ME’ and the matching booty shorts that say ‘NASTY’. Roman has accepted how Remus dresses. That doesn’t mean he wants to be seen in public with him.

“Well, why wouldn’t I? They’re my clothes. I think.” Remus looks down suspiciously at his shirt, and Roman decides the last thing he wants to do is ruin today by thinking about what person Remus found that would have the same disgusting taste in clothes. He will grin and bear it.

“I don’t want to know,” Roman says. “Let’s just do this.” He pulls the door open, ready to get them leaves, only to be greeted with Virgil’s face. Virgil is their neighbor on the left who occasionally has duets with Roman in exchange for art pieces. His roommate Dee always wears bright yellow dish-washing gloves and has never once even hinted at a reason why. Roman doesn’t trust either one of them as far as he can throw them, but they have good taste in movies, great pillows for pillow forts, and are willing to host up to twelve people in Disney Marathons. So they’re pretty alright at the end of it.

“Virgil!” Roman sings, doing his best to pretend that didn’t start out as a scream. “Hello! My brother and I are busy today, please come back tomorrow.” Remus shoves them all out the door and pulls it shut behind them. Roman begins to pull up the camera on his phone so he can record this epic moment and edit it later so it looks as amazing as it feels, but Virgil has yet to leave.

“Uh, did you need something, Dark and Stormy?”

“I’m going to Starbucks. Dee’s too embarrassed to admit he wants a Pumpkin Spice Latte so I’m going to get one to drink in front of him. Do you want to come?” Roman sends a look at Remus over his shoulder.

“What if you went bobbing for apples and found eyeballs instead?” Remus says as though it’s an answer and Roman knows that’s as close to acquiescing as Remus is going to come.

“Yeah, we’ll go. Right after this, though.” Roman pauses. “Actually, could you record it for me?” He shoves his phone into Virgil’s hands, and Virgil sighs.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re going to jump in the leaves,” Roman says.

“From the roof!” Remus adds, a gleam in his eyes and quiver in his mustache. Roman immediately throws a hand out toward Remus. There’s no telling what he’ll actually do and what he’s just saying because it flitted through his mind.

“No! We are not jumping from the roof.” Remus pouts.

“It’d be cooler,” Virgil mutters but says nothing else and holds the phone up. Roman decides it’s best not to comment on that at all, lest Remus or Virgil get any more unsavory ideas. Instead, he grins and looks to Remus.

“Are you ready? Actually, don’t answer that. Let’s do this.” Quickly, Roman directs Virgil to the front of the house and angles the camera how he wants it. He and Remus start on either side of Virgil, and then they nod to each other.

“One,” Roman says.

“Two,” Remus sings.

“Three,” Virgil sighs and they both take off. They whoop and scream as they launch themselves into the leaves, and Roman enjoys the feeling of weightlessness followed by a soft, (unfortunately) moist landing. Roman laughs loudly and he can hear Remus laughing next to him, for once a real laugh instead of his usual evil cackle, and Roman really feels like fall is here. This is, in all ways, the best season. He is heavily biased, but that doesn’t make him wrong.

“Whoo!” comes from the side, and Roman looks over to see Patton jumping up and down next to a confused-but-disgusted looking Logan. “That looked like a lot of fun, kiddos! Now I see why you couldn’t just leaf all those leaves lying on the ground!” Logan’s face loses the confusion and is now pure disgust, and Roman feels a little smug. Just a smidge.

Remus flings himself out of the leaves, somehow having already knotted multiple leaves into his hair and covered his face in dirt. His genuine laugh turns maniacal again and Roman takes that as his cue to leave. He jumps from the leaf pile and runs for Virgil, snatching his phone back.

“Thanks, Incredible Sulk. You ready for Starbucks?” Roman doesn’t wait for an answer, instead heading for the sidewalk. It’s just chilly enough for a jacket and the walk isn’t that far. It will be good to get some sunshine.

“Where are you kids going?” Patton asks. Roman can see the eye-roll from Virgil, supposedly two years older than Patton despite not even looking like an adult, and he can practically hear whatever nasty thing Remus is going to shout if given the opportunity to answer, so he answers for all three of them.

“Starbucks. Do you want to join? They’ve released the Pumpkin Spice Lattes again.” Virgil grumbles something about this being his trip, and shouldn’t he be in charge of inviting people along, but Patton enthusiastically agrees and loops his arm through Logan’s to pull him along at the same time Dee materializes behind Virgil like some kind of Pumpkin Spice summoned spirit, and Roman grins. Remus goes running ahead of their group for the most part, disturbing leaves and catching bugs to gross out Patton and Roman, and together the six of them head for Starbucks.

It’s a good day. Roman feels amazing. He feels so good, in fact, Dee might only have to ask him to order the Pumpkin Spice Latte for him twice before Roman does it. And he might not even make fun of him for wanting something so widely considered to be mainstream teenage girl culture.

But he probably will. And Patton will make puppy eyes at him until he stops, and then Virgil will take the torch. It’s a good day, and it’s setting up to be a perfect day. Roman can’t help but smile.

[harryswanderlust]

Overdue

where y/n’s the new library assistant and harry doesn’t actually show up for the books...

warnings: none

requested: nope

It wasn’t until the beginning of September that Y/n had really started to appreciate her job in the campus library. She’d been working there for only a few weeks, every night from six ‘til eight, and she enjoyed it. She enjoyed sorting through endless amounts of books and placing them back on the proper shelf. She’d end up finding new and exciting things to read from doing this, and at first, she thought that was the best part of her job, but after someone waltzed into her library during the start of September, she was given a new reason to love it so much.

She remembers it being a particularly cold night, which was surprising to no one since it was the beginning of the autumn season in upstate New York. Everyone already had their jackets pulled out by the end of August and were adjusting to the cooler temperatures. Everyone except Y/n. She’s always hated the cold, and she’s set on moving out of New York once she graduates. All she wants to do when fall and winter roll around is curl up in a pile of blankets and read until she falls asleep, but on that night a cup of hot chocolate would have to suffice.

It was a typical Thursday, and it wasn’t any quieter or less empty than any other day of the week since most kids couldn’t find the library even if they tried. She always finds it amusing when certain students come rushing in to find a book for a paper they were supposed to start writing weeks ago, but chose to wait until the last minute instead. It’s usually the same people over and over again, and thankfully it’s not a daily occurrence, but it did happen on this night as Y/n’s shift was coming to an end.

She’d lost track of time, so it was a few minutes past eight when he hurried in, but the library hours have always been clearly posted on the doors. She briefly looked up from what she was reading–Shakespeare’s Hamlet–when she heard the door swing open, and felt a gust of cool air blow in. She let out an annoyed sigh when she glanced up at the clock to check the time. She was hungry and planned on grabbing something to eat after locking up, but now she was going to have to wait because some idiot couldn’t read a sign.

She observed the stranger as he made his way inside, trying her best not to scrutinize him too hard or get caught staring. He was wearing a university hoodie that appeared to be in desperate need of a wash, and his hair is falling in disheveled ringlets in front of his face from being windblown. She cut him some slack for it because everyone on campus was only trying to stay warm, but it didn’t make her less irritated with him.

He looked to be a bit older than she was. Maybe around twenty-one? She didn't think there was any way he could be a sophomore like her or any younger than a junior really. His sleeves were half rolled up, exposing a trail of tattoos up his left arm and a wristband on his right arm with the name of his frat house. She decided to shrug it off, simply going back to reading her Shakespeare while he went about finding the books he needed. She was almost near the end of the third act when he walked up to the checkout counter, shaking his hands through his tousled curls for about the tenth time since he arrived.

It wasn’t until then that she truly got a good look at him, and she could physically feel her heart skip a beat when was met with a pair of forest green eyes, simultaneously shutting the play and nearly falling off her stool in the process. She stumbled before catching herself on the counter and flashed him a smile to try and conceal her embarrassment.

“That’s one of his longest plays isn’t it?” He asked her as he slid a few books across the counter for her to check out. Her brows drew together, his question throwing her way off guard before she registered that he was talking about Hamlet. Her eyes shifted back and forth between him and the play because she definitely wasn’t expecting him to ask her that.

“Uh, yeah. I think it is,” is all she could manage to say in response, working to grab the books he placed in front of her to scan them. She eyes him unsurely for a moment, and an awkward silence stretched between them as the scanner beeped a couple of times.

“It’s been a while since I’ve read that, but ‘to be or not to be: that is the question’, right?” He asked, quoting the play to her, and she swore her jaw practically dropped to the floor. She didn’t think he was dumb–hell, she didn’t even know the guy–but if someone had told her she’d be talking to him about Shakespeare she wouldn’t have believed them. But here he was quoting Hamlet of all plays. Her own friends didn’t even discuss Shakespeare with her, and they’ve always got their noses stuck in some piece of literature as much as she does.

“I think Hamlet should’ve let nature run its course, you know? I believe in fate, and by taking things into his own hands he only made things worse. Nothing was really resolved,” he said, reaching for his books as she handed them back to him.

She nodded, considering his words. She’s only ever heard people’s thoughts on Romeo and Juliet and everyone’s opinions are pretty much the same on that one. “I believe in fate,” he’d said. Was it fate that lead him into her library on that Thursday night? Was it fate that lead to him coming in almost every single night after that?

“I’m Harry by the way,” he added, introducing himself with a dimpled grin. Y/n’s not sure why she was finding it charming or why she’d become more endeared by him than she was several moments ago.

“And could you try to not look so surprised that I’ve read Shakespeare before?”

She frantically shook her head, stammering over her words as they quickly fell out of her mouth. “No, I’m not–I, I mean I wasn’t–I mean it’s, it’s just that–”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll let it slide since you’re cute,” he teased, shooting her a wink. Her entire face heated up at the compliment, but she didn’t know what’s worse: how little she thought of him or how he had called her out on it. “Definitely cuter than the last library assistant. What was her name? Callie or Catherine or something like that?”

“Caitlin,” she corrects, causing Y/n to remember how she heard somewhere that she was caught with pot in her room and got kicked out of school. Whether that’s true or not, Y/n doesn't know. But she hasn’t seen Caitlin around campus since so she’s definitely not around anymore. She also found a secret stash in between some books one time which makes the rumors seem more truthful than they are not.

“Caitlin, that’s right. I liked her. She’d write papers for me sometimes if I paid her enough.”

Classy, Y/n thought to herself. She mentally rolled her eyes at his confession, finding it unsurprising. She figured this guy may have known a thing or two about a famous playwright, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t another lazy student that only tries to pass so they can keep partying every weekend. She didn’t care for guys like that and assumed that everything she found attractive about him was all on the outside.

“Anyway, I didn’t catch your name,” he said.

“That's because I didn’t give it to you,” she’d shot back, watching as his grin grew wider and he licked his lips. She wasn't aware, but he was the type that liked a challenge. He loved having to work for it.

“Guess I’ll have to call you princess from now on then.”

The pet name didn’t earn any appreciation from her, nor did it make her want to keep talking with him at that point.

“If you think I’m going to write your papers for you, you’re wrong. And your books are due in two weeks,” she told him, ignoring his subtle attempts at flirting with her. He should’ve stuck to giving her his analysis on English literature.

“I’ll be back in two weeks then.”

That’s the last thing he’d said before shooting her one last wink and leaving with his books tucked under his arm. She didn’t know what exactly to think of the guy, and he even hadn’t crossed her mind until he returned to the library again. She had hoped that she wouldn’t see him again after that, but that proved difficult since he purposely showed back up two weeks later during her late night shift. As it turned out, he wanted to continue the conversation they had when they first met, but Y/n didn’t buy it. She thought he wanted to see if he could take another shot at possibly trying to get into her pants.

She was quick to judge him though, and soon found out how wrong she was about him. Sure they don’t run in the same circles, and honestly, they still don’t, but they have a lot more in common than she was willing to give them credit for at first. It took a while, but she eventually started looking forward to his infrequent visits. And after a couple of months, the infrequent visits turned into a daily routine.

At first, he’d act as though he was coming in to find a book he wanted so it didn’t seem like he was only there for the cute, alluring, library assistant, but he soon gave up trying to hide it. Not that it wasn’t at least a little obvious to Y/n. He only ever came in when she was there, and she knows this because she took it upon herself to ask the actual librarian if she’d seen him. She told Y/n she’d never seen or heard of him before. It’s possible that she could’ve simply missed him, but before Y/n started working there Harry had only seen the inside of their library a solid two times.  

So by the time the end of the fall semester rolled she had fallen in love with her job, and by mid-February, she had fallen for him. She tried to chalk her feelings up to love being in the air and all that, but she wasn’t just enamored by his riveting smile or adorable curls. She didn’t want the four walls of the campus library to be the only place she ever saw him. She wanted to be able to be with anywhere and recite her favorite soliloquies to him or listen to him play his guitar or sing to her.

That was their thing. He loved art and music, and she loved books and poetry...and maybe even him too. She hasn’t been able to find the guts to tell him, out of fear that he might not feel the same way. If he hasn’t asked her out by now then she doubts it’s going to happen. Besides, they’re good at the whole friend thing, and there’s no way she wants to ruin that.

“Did you read the book before you wrote this paper?” She asks him one day when they’re sitting at a table in the library. They’re going over a paper he had to write over Homer’s Iliad, and she’s pretty sure the only thing he’ll get credit for is putting his name on it.

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” He responds, and she shakes her head. He groans as he takes his paper back from her, running a hand over his face and through his messy locks. He tugs slightly at them with frustration, and she places a hand on his shoulder. She gives it a soft squeeze, offering a sympathetic smile.

“I should read it shouldn't I?”

She nods, murmuring a quick “yeah” before standing up. “I’ll go find it for you.”

She slips behind the bookcases, finding the book with ease since she read it herself a while back. She hears the light pattering of footsteps behind her, and she whirls around to find that Harry has followed behind her. She gasps when she almost collides with him, the book nearly falling out of her hands.

“What’s that?” She asks when she spots a cd in his hand. He shifts back and forth on his feet, his body towering over her as he looks down at her. His face flushes at her question, a pink tint blossoming over his cheeks as he twists his lips to hide a smile from her.

“I...I made you a playlist of all my favorite songs. I thought you might listen to it while you’re reading or studying or whatever,” he tells her, shrugging nonchalantly as he wipes his hand against his jeans. It makes her realize that he’s actually nervous. She’s actually making him nervous.

She smiles fondly at him, her heart swelling at the simple gift. He could’ve just thrown all the songs onto a Spotify playlist, but he went out of his way to make her a cd.

“Thank you. I love it,” she says, wanting so badly to kiss him for it. He’s standing close enough that it would be easy. All she’d have to do is lean in, and she’d be lying if she hasn’t spent some time thinking about how his lips would feel against hers. Like the beginning of a beautiful song is what she guesses.

“How can you love it? You haven’t listened to it yet, princess.”

She rolls her eyes, playfully pushing his arm.  “Because you made it for me, silly.”  

This gets him to smile, and she swears it makes her want to melt. His fingers gently trace over her wrist, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles. Her breath hitches at the contact. She didn’t see it coming, his gaze is cast downward at where they’re touching as he pauses for a moment.

“Would you wanna go to a party with me tonight?” He finally asks once he’s racked up enough courage.  

She blinks a few times. “What?”

“I mean, you totally don’t have to if you don’t want to. My frat’s throwing one tonight, but I’d understand if that’s not your scene. I just thought it might be nice to hang out somewhere besides here,” he explains, afraid that asking her out has scared her. He’s as terrified of moving too fast as she is, and doesn’t want to assume that she likes him.

If only he knew.

“Yeah, I’d love to,” she says, wrapping her own fingers around his.

He bites his lip, bringing his other hand up to push her hair behind her ear and cup her cheek. He slowly pulls her closer to him, their noses brushing against one another’s. It tickles and a giggle escapes past her lips as her eyes flutter shut, anticipating a kiss. But his lips ghost over hers, not giving her the one thing she wants.

“Great, I’ll pick you up in couple hours?” He whispers, pulling away from her and letting her go.

She nods, not trusting herself to say anything. She can hardly breathe, and when he leaves she leans back against the shelf full of books. Her head spins, unable to process what just happened.

He asked her out.

He finally asked her out.

————

Taking a nap wasn't her smartest move, and she was dreading how little time she had to get ready. She had an outfit picked out in her mind before she even left the library, but had to quickly throw on a dress and shoes in order to focus on getting the sleep out of her hair and face. She doesn't look bad, but she did envision herself looking better for a first date. Though, going to a frat party as a first date wasn’t exactly what she had in mind either.

She slides into the passenger's seat of his car when he pulls up, immediately noticing how he ditched the dirty hoodie and fixed his hair. He looks as nice as she does, and even more handsome than he ever has in their tiny, old library.

“You clean up nice,” she compliments, taking a second to buckle her seatbelt. It’s dark but she can still see him blushing as his hand reaches for the gear to back out.

“Only when I really like the girl,” he teases. “And you look beautiful too.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, biting back a smile. Her fingers wind tighter around the sweater she grabbed on her way out, the butterflies in her stomach starting to flutter faster. Somehow she’s more nervous that she’s ever been. He’s just Harry. The guy who stops by the library more times to see her than he does to read a book and is now probably going to become her boyfriend.

Wait.

Boyfriend? Now she’s getting ahead of herself. He doesn’t want to be her boyfriend. Sure he had her a mixtape–which is undoubtedly pretty romantic–and he did ask her out, but he’s not going to become her boyfriend all of the sudden. She’s not even sure what to call what’s already going on between them.

“You want something to drink?” He asks when they arrive at the house, surrounded by hundreds of half-drunk college students and someone’s terrible playlist blasting through the giant speaker.

“Yeah,” she nods.

“Okay, stay here. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait!” she frantically grabs his arm, pulling him back to her. He glances at her, brows drawing together to show he’s confused and making her mentally slap herself for acting like a crazy person. “I’m...I’m not really comfortable being alone.”

She releases her death grip on his arm, praying that she didn’t make herself seem like a pathetic freak. She shifts uncomfortably where she stands, avoiding his gaze. But he smiles softly at her and grabs her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.

“Alright, I won’t leave your side,” he tells her, squeezing her hand for assurance. She looks up at him, squeezing it back as a thank you.

He leads her to the kitchen, which causes an outburst from several of Harry’s friends. A blonde one comes from around to counter to pull him into a hug, engaging in some sort of handshake with him afterward. He pats him on the back, telling him that he was wondering when he was going to show up.

“I’m here now,” he tells him, stepping to the side and placing his hand on the small of Y/n’s back. “And this is Y/n.”

“Wow, Harry. You’ve always known how to pick them,” a lankier one says before winking at him.

“Is she your girlfriend? Or another one of your hookups you never intend on calling back?” Another one pipes up, tauntingly.

“No, we’re–”

“You’ve always been quite the ladies man haven’t you?” The blonde one nudges his shoulder.

Okay, his friends seem like nice people except they really don’t. But was what that one guy said true? Did he have a thing for hooking up with girls and never calling them? Was she really just another conquest to him? And if she was, why would he put so much effort into a quick screw?

“I think I’m going to go to the bathroom,” she lies, excusing herself from the awful situation. Harry calls out after her, but she doesn’t turn around and instead makes her way towards the stairs. She hurries up them, set on heading for the bathroom but stopping short upon finding something else.

To her left, a bedroom door is open slightly and inside she can see the same hoodie Harry was wearing earlier hanging off a chair. Now, she's in a house belonging to a bunch of frat boys that all play the same sport, so that doesn't mean the bedroom is his. But is that going to stop her anyway?

Absolutely not.

She presses her hand to the door, opening it further and stepping inside. The first thing she notices—besides the condom laying out on his dresser—is the Iliad laying out on his bed. So it’s definitely his room, and she definitely wasn’t expecting so many Fleetwood Mac and Pink Floyd posters. What also comes as a surprise is the bookshelf full of books, including classics like Hemingway.

“I see you got lost on your way to the bathroom,” Harry says, now leaning in doorway and watching her with a subtle smirk.

She ignores him, her fingers scanning over the spines of the books. “So you’ve got Wuthering Heights on your shelf, but you can’t get through the Iliad?”  

He shrugs. “Wuthering Heights was entertaining.”

She snorts, “Spoken like someone who didn’t understand the book.”

“Did you?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but can’t find any good way to answer because she, in fact, didn’t understand it. So that’s twice now that’s she’s not given him enough credit and put her foot in her mouth, right?

“You know this is like way overdue right?” She pulls a book off the shelf, holding it out for him to see as she points clearly at the return date sticker. He was supposed to return it a couple months ago, but she’s partly to blame for giving him a pass every time he forgets to bring his books back.

He walks over to her, one hand grabbing her waist and the other brushing her hair away from her face.

“What are you–”

“I think this is too,” he cuts her off, gently cupping her cheek with his hand and pulling her in for their lips to meet. The kiss is deep and slow, lighting up her body and she finds it hard to catch a breath. Her arms wind around his neck, her finger running themselves through his curls.

She moans when he pulls away, still keeping her body close to his. “I was wondering if you were ever going to do that,” she giggles, giving him another peck on the lips. “Could never really tell if you were into me.”

Harry nods, pinching her hips and causing her to giggle again. He could listen to that sound on repeat, like a sweet melody.

“Trust me, I am,” he says before pulling her in for one last kiss.

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jeff York on The Establishing Shot: MY 10 FAVORITE IMAGES FROM FILMS IN 2019

Every year at this time, I choose my 10 favorite images from films in the year. These are those particular shots that really stuck in my mind, made an impact, or became an indelible memory of the film for me. So, without any further ado, here are those ten that affected me the most. (Oh, and as always, there are spoilers ahead, so you’ve been warned.)

PARASITE The movie PARASITE, by filmmaker Bong Joon Ho, starts out as a comedy of manners. A low-class family cons their way into the home of a rich family to be caretakers of their children and household. It’s a dark comedy about the class system in Korea, but it’s really commenting on anyone’s station in life and how difficult it is to get to the next stage. Before they take over the Park family’s swank home, the Kim family thought they had it bad living in a below-ground-level apartment. Soon enough though, they’ll discover someone living a much lower existence – right there in the secret basement of the Park’s house. The little Park boy has seen him roaming the home at night, thinking it was a ghost. A flashback shows us exactly what he saw and indeed, it’s a terrifying sight. Hands down for me, it was the scariest and most memorable moment in any 2019 film.

MARRIAGE STORY My favorite scene in a movie this year is contained in Noah Baumbach’s MARRIAGE STORY. Charlie (Adam Driver) is a divorcing father, fighting his wife Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) for custody of their young son. He tries his best to impress the social worker (Martha Kelly) evaluating his worthiness one night, but then he accidentally cuts his arm with his pocketknife and tries to be nonchalant about it. As the bleeding continues, the social worker can’t help but notice. The hilarious and heartbreaking scene reaches its zenith when she can’t get the door open to exit. As Charlie watches her struggle, blood escapes down his arm, along with any chance of retaining custody. What a shot.

PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE At the end of the eighteenth century, Marianne (Noemie Merlant) is a painter, tasked with capturing the likeness of a reluctant bride-to-be named Heloise (Adele Haenel). What starts as a tempestuous relationship between artist and subject grows into friendship, then lust, and love. They bond over being outsiders, as well as similar tastes in art and literature. They find particular fascination in the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, leading to a lively discussion of why Orpheus turned around to look at his wife. As their affair ends, and Heloise’s arranged marriage beckons, she invites the exiting Marianne to turn around. Marianne does and sees her lover in her wedding dress, bringing a shocking and definitive end to their relationship, just like that of Orpheus and Eurydice. The way that director Celine Schiamma shoots the moment startles us as much as it does Marianne, finishing off the stunning image with an iris dissolve to black that makes it all positively chilling.

BOOKSMART Early BOOKSMART, Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) drives up to pick up her BFF Molly (Beanie Feldstein) for school. It’s not just a stop though, it’s an opportunity for Molly to make an entrance, and for Amy to join her in an impromptu dance celebrating their friendship. It’s sweet, nerdy, and hilarious as both are eccentrically awkward, lost together in their own little world. Director Olivia Wilde even turns off the soundtrack music halfway through their dance to reveal that the music is all in their heads.

KNIVES OUT Rian Johnson reinterpreted the all-star whodunnit for a modern era with his comedy-mystery KNIVES OUT. He twisted around Agatha Christie’s tropes with relish, yet stayed true to her mainstay of an eccentric detective. Johnson’s investigator Benoit Blanc is a Southern gentleman played to comic perfection by Daniel Craig. Johnson furthered the fun in how he introduced him. Blanc remains a blank for his first minutes of screen time, shot out-of-focus in the background behind the local cop (LaKeith Stanfield). Creating a mystery out of just who is the stranger plinking the piano keys in the background? It killed!

YESTERDAY The movie YESTERDAY isn’t a great film, but it is an intriguing one. After a strange cosmic accident, struggling musician Jack Malik (Himesh Patel) wakes from a coma to realize that in his new existence, no one has heard of the Beatles. Wanting to restore their legacy, as well as make millions singing and claiming their songs as his own, he becomes a worldwide phenomenon. So, if the Fab Four never existed, what became of the fellows who made up the band?  Jack looks up one of them, and the reveal of an older and happy artist living in the country named John Lennon (Robert Carlyle) made for a moment that transcended the one-not idea of the film. Imagine that.

CAPTAIN MARVEL The first superhero movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe featuring a female lead was 2019’s CAPTAIN MARVEL. Brie Larson played pilot Carol Danvers (AKA Captain Marvel) in the 1980’s period piece, and in one scene, flew high into space with fellow pilot Maria (Lashana Lynch) and tagalong tabby Goose. Co-directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck come from the world of comedy and it shows in wonderful shots like this one where the cat just floats about, quietly enjoying zero gravity.

FORD V. FERRARI In the action-drama FORD V. FERRARI, Henry Ford II wants an American sports car to beat the Italian-made Ferrari at Le Mans in 1966. Thus, he sets out to do so with an esteemed team of designers and drivers. Ford (Tracy Letts) is a bullying S.O.B. and when designer Carroll Shelby (Matt Damon) has had enough of his attitude, he loads him up in the sports car and gives him a 120 MPH test-drive. As Shelby spins him around the dangerous track, Ford is scared shitless, weeping like a baby. It’s a sublime moment with the marvelous Letts letting go as you can see in this hilarious still.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD Few films this year received more water cooler discussion than Quentin Tarantino’s ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD. His story of an aging actor (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his best buddy, an aging stunt man (Brad Pitt), reckoning with the new Hollywood of 1969 was both amusing and elegiac. Age is a bitch in any walk of life, but in Tinsel Town, it’s a horror show. Pitt’s old-timer Cliff Booth is lucky to get a job stunting for the TV show THE GREEN HORNET. Still, he can’t help when the young upstart Bruce Lee (Mike Moh) brags about his prowess as a lethal weapon. Booth calls B.S. on the show’s star and they have a friendly fight. Lee scores a knockdown first, but during the second round, Cliff throws his opponent into the side of a car. It’s one of the best sight gags in a film all year, one talked about a lot at that water cooler.

I LOST MY BODY Few animated films are stranger than I LOST MY BODY. It starts with a severed hand escaping the lab where it’s being held to start on a journey of self-discovery. That means back to the body it came from, as well as the history of the owner. Naoufel, the young man who lost the appendage is a lost soul, trying to navigate his way through a difficult life. He’s such a mess, he can’t even deliver pizzas on time. One customer named Gabrielle calls him out on his shit and their conversation over the building’s intercom becomes a makeshift therapy session. As directed by Jeremy Clapin, and voiced by Dev Patel and Alia Shawkat, the simplicity of this static shot becomes mesmerizing in its simplicity and intimacy. It proves that stillness, even in animation, can be more moving than any action.

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[wordsandshawn]

The Platonic Series ~ Co-Parenting

(2025)

“Ella, how was school today?” You question, looking into the rear view mirror at your seven year old daughter sitting in the backseat. 

She’s still staring out the window as she answers, “Good.”

“Did you learn anything new?” You ask her. 

“Yes, co-parenting.” She answers, and you’re immediately confused. Since when did they start teaching about co-parenting in the second grade?

“You learned that at school?”

“Timmy told me about it. His parents co-parent. And so I told him mine did too.” She says it so nonchalantly, you’re not even sure what to think at first. 

This makes you raise your eyebrows. “Baby, do you know what co-parenting is?” You ask, confused, since her dad has not been in her life at all these past seven years. He had made it clear he wasn’t ready for a baby before she was born, and even though seven years have passed, apparently nothing has changed. She doesn't ask about him often, but you’ve always been honest with her about him. She knows you had her when you were in college and that you aren’t with her dad anymore, that you haven’t been with her dad since before you knew about her. 

“Yeah, its when you have two houses and you live at both.” She tells you, as though its that simple.

You kind of have an idea where she’s going with this, so you try to clear up any confusion by telling her, “It’s when you have two parents that don’t live together but that both parent you.”

“I know, mom.” She says sassily. Seven year old sass was something you weren’t prepared for and you didn’t expect. Shawn says its part of her personality, but you’re not too sure, and you’re already dreading the teenaged years that are unavoidable. 

You don’t really want to remind her that she doesn’t know her dad, so there is no coparenting between her parents. Since you don’t respond right away, she explains, “Timmy said he was cool because he gets to go with his dad on the weekends. And he was being mean about it, so I told him that I go with my dad on the weekends too but that my dad’s house is cooler than his because I have my own bunk bed and there’s a pool, and I get to have ice cream whenever I want because my daddy always buys my favorite ice cream and he lets me eat as much as I want.” She rambles, but then her eyes get wide and she slaps her hand over her mouth.

You know exactly who she’s talking about. “You eat ice cream whenever you want at Shawn’s?” You question.

“No mommy, I wasn’t supposed to tell you!” She shouts. 

“I’m going to talk to Shawn about that, but more importantly, baby, you’re not supposed to lie.”

“Its not a lie mom. Only a small one.” She tells you, holding up her index and thumb close together to show just how small of a lie it is. “He was being mean.” She whines as though it justifies everything.

“Even if he was being mean, you shouldn’t lie to seem cooler.” You remind her.

“But mommy, its not really a lie.” She repeats herself.

And now you're torn on how to react. The only real lie she told was telling the kid that Shawn was her dad. Everything else, the pool, the bunk bed, and now you know, the ice cream, is all true.

"Okay, hunny, but you know that you're not supposed to lie." You remind her one last time.

"Yes, I know, Mom." She says.

And you nod, asking more about her day, and soon she's off rambling about an art project they worked on. You talk with her the rest of the ride back to your apartment, but that first conversation never leaves you mind.

You make Ella a snack when you arrive back home because she's always hungry when she finishes school. Just as you put the apple slices on the plate, your phone starts to ring.

"Hello?" You answer, holding it to your ear as you hand Ella the plate. She takes it and starts munching on an apple.

"Hey y/n, I just got back home. Are you home? I have the night off but Katie got called into work so I thought I'd come chill with you two?" He says through the phone. Katie is his girlfriend. They've been together for a year now, and its been really nice because you two get along well. You can't say the same thing for some of Shawn's other girlfriends.

"Yeah, we’re home. Come over because I have to talk to you about something anyway." You ask.

"What do you have to talk to me about?" He questions.

"I'll just talk to you when you get here."

"I have to shower and stuff but I'll be over before dinner. Are you cooking or should I pick up food on the way?"

You tell him you're cooking and that you'll see him when he comes before saying goodbye.

You're just starting dinner when Shawn walks in the door, not bothering to knock. Ella jumps out of the chair she was sitting in and runs straight for Shawn, meeting him before he takes two steps into the house. He picks her up even though she's getting too big to be carried like that.

"Hey, Ella!" He says, holding her tightly. He hugs her before putting her down, and coming over to give you a hug as well.

"What did you wanna talk about?" He asks.

"Ella, go watch tv, while I talk to Shawn, okay?" She nods, running off into the living room. You wait unntil you hear the tv turn on before saying.

"Well first, a little birdie told me that you let her have ice cream whenever she wants." 

He laughs a bit, "She wasn't supposed to tell. We had a deal." He says with a smile, but no remorse.

"Shawn, you can't just give her ice cream whenever." You chastise him. 

"Honestly, she doesn't have it that often." He shrugs.

"She's got you wrapped around her finger." You remark, rolling your eyes.

He smiles guiltily, just shrugging because it's true, and he can't deny it.

"What I really wanted to tell you was something Ella told me on the car ride home today. It was about co-parenting."

He raises his eyebrows at the word, "What about it?"

"Her friend’s parents are divorced. She thinks this is the same thing. She thinks we co-parent."

He's silent for a minute, but then he says nonchalantly, "Well we kind of do." He’s obviously not concerned or even caught off guard by this piece of news. He sees your expression, so he asks, “Is that a bad thing?” 

“No,” You say, then add, “I don’t know. Is it?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know why it would be.”

You sigh loudly then honestly respond, “I guess its just so different from the life I would have imagined for my daughter. Not that its bad.” You quickly add, not wanting to offend Shawn. “You’re so good to her, to us. You’ve always been there for us, and I’m so glad that she has you, and that you watch her so much for me. I just don’t want to confuse her.”

“You’re my best friend, of course I'd be there for you. And Ella, you know I love that kid. I know she’s not mine, but I don’t think she's so far off about the co-parenting thing.” 

“She called you her dad. To the kid with the divorced parents. She told him she goes to her dad’s house on the weekend, and that her dad is better than his.” 

Shawn’s eyes get wide at this. You’re not sure how you expect him to react. This whole thing is weird the more you think about it. She doesn’t know her real dad, but she’s spent most weekends at Shawn’s place since she was two years old, which was when Shawn moved to a place ten minutes from yours and you went back to college, meaning that you had to work weekends to support you and Ella. 

Since Ella was two, Shawn has been around a lot more, purposely trying to work closer to home. If you’re being honest with yourself, Shawn has done just as much raising Ella as you have these past five years. He’s taken on far more responsibility than would be considered normal in a situation like yours. The truth is you needed someone to help you figure out how to parent and to help you make decisions when it came to Ella. That someone just so happened to be Shawn. And despite the fact that his career kept him one the road a lot when Ella was an infant, he was still right there beside you for all the parenting, if not in proximity, he still remained close because you’d always be texting and calling him. 

“She said I was better than his dad?” Shawn questions, obviously not focusing on the part that you were. 

“Yes, but thats not the point.” 

“Y/n, you’re over thinking all of this.” He says gently. “Ella has people that love her. Lots of people, and she knows that. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t know her real dad. Its his loss, not hers. If she wants to call me her dad to a little punk, thats fine with me. Because even though I'm not her dad or even her stepdad, you’re my best friend and I’m always going to be here for both of you. The labels don’t matter. What another seven year old kid thinks doesn’t matter.” 

You know Shawn is right, about all of it. You’ve always struggled at least a little bit with the fact that Ella doesn’t know her dad and that her dad doesn’t want to know her. You never know how to explain it to her. You don’t want her to ever feel like she’s not wanted. That’s your greatest fear. 

“She asks about him sometimes.” Shawn tells you, and your attention snaps back to him. 

“What?” You question, alarmed, because you didn’t know that. She rarely asks about him. She’s only ever said anything about her dad to you maybe twice. When she was finally old enough to understand some things, you explained to her that her dad wasn’t in your life before you found out about her, and she never pressured you for information. 

“Yeah, she asks about him sometimes. She’s a smart kid, y/n. She knows things.” 

“What does she ask?” 

“Sometimes she just talks about how most people have two parents, but she doesn’t.”

“What do you tell her?”

“I just tell her that she has a mom that loves her, and I love her, and that if she wants to know her dad she can when she gets older, but for right now all she needs is know is that we love her.”

You lean forward, resting your elbows on the countertop and burying your face in your hands.   

“Hey, y/n,” Shawn’s voice pulls you back to the conversation at hand, and away from pondering the mistakes you’ve made in the past and the way they’re affecting your daughter. “You’re doing the best you can. You’re an amazing mom to Ella, and she’s an amazing kid.”  

“Thanks,” You say, brushing off the compliment. 

“I’m serious, y/n. I’m the lucky one that gets to be in both of your lives, and he’s the one missing out because he’s not around.”

Shawn’s making you feel a better, something Shawn does best. “Thanks Shawn, I guess she was kind of right about the coparenting thing.” 

“I only took it as a compliment.” He reassures you. 

“That’s good. But please stop feeding my child ice cream whenever she wants.”

Shawn laughs lightly. “Okay, mom. No more ice cream whenever she wants. But once a weekend is not too much.” 

That you can’t argue with, “Fine,” You respond right as you hear Ella’s voice from the living room.

“Shawn!” She shouts. 

“She missed you,” You tell him, “I’ll call you both when dinners ready.” 

“You’re the best, y/n.” He says, before leaving the kitchen to go and spend some time with Ella.