#and it just feels wrong to leave pierre and charles (and all of you!) hanging in mid-2023 forever

[singsweetmelodies]

intermission.

or; a chapter-that-isn't-really-a-chapter of my long-unfinished WIP, and a detailed, probably-too-personal explanation of why it's been unfinished for so long & what's been going on in my personal life, more or less.

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (16/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: You know what's coming - they don't call me queen of slow burn for nothing.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, swear words

Word Count: 3.4k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: thank you all for your kind words on my engagement! and I'm sorry for this part! love ya. feedback is appreciated!

Charles is so close to you that you can breathe him in. His warm breath gently brushes your face, you feel the pressure of his big hands on your back and the thought that friends shouldn't look at each other like that makes your heart beat faster. 

Because Charles is looking at you just like that. As if you weren't friends, as if the connection between you was more intimate than a friendship could ever be. As if he's willing to cross the invisible line that separates his lips from yours. 

Your hands, resting against his hard chest, feel the strong heartbeat beneath and your fingers lightly claw into the fabric of the thick sweater as a sign for him to please be bold. 

Take this step with me, it's supposed to say. Take this step and come to me. 

And Charles even seems to understand. His gaze flickers from your eyes to your mouth, and you're so close you can almost feel his tongue against your mouth as he licks his lips. 

And then his hands disappear from your back as he takes a big step backward. Your touch slips from his chest, his scent disappears from your nose, and a distance is created between you that you can not only physically see, but also emotionally feel. 

When you look up into his face - a little confused - his features are harder than they were just seconds ago. 

"Let's go," he says coldly, tucking his hands, which a moment ago had you pressed against him, into the pockets of his sweater. "I need some sleep before I leave tomorrow, and like you said, we also need to grab a bite to eat and head back home." He turns away from you, takes the few steps to the door, and leaves the store without looking at you again. 

Puzzled and admittedly repulsed, you look after the man. 

He had been so close to you just a moment ago - and all of a sudden there is an uncrossable ocean between you. What has happened that he is now withdrawing like this? Did you do something wrong? Forced yourself on him? Crossed a line? 

No, after all, he sought your closeness first, pulled you closer to him, and whispered all those affectionate words to you that fogged your head and made little butterflies flutter around in your stomach. 

But maybe that's exactly the mistake. Maybe you've completely misread the situation. Maybe he behaves similarly with his other friends. While you can't imagine how he would pull Pierre into such an embrace, every friendship is different, after all. 

And lastly, you don't know how Charles behaves with his female friends either. The thought of him hugging other girls like that, too, and whispering such flirtations in their ears, makes your stomach tighten involuntarily. A nasty feeling that you didn't even feel when Raphael was flirting with other girls in front of you back then. 

You suppress the nausea rising in you and follow Charles, who is waiting for you in front of the store, typing on his cell phone. You lock the door behind you and toss the key into the mailbox, which hangs hidden by ivy vines on the wall of the house next to it. Without looking at your roommate, you start moving. "Well, let's go."

The icy Nice night wind blows in your face and ruffles your hair as you walk back to the car, but Charles doesn't seem to mind in the least. "What do you want to eat?" he asks nonchalantly, still staring at his phone. He seems so far away, as if the moment just now didn't even happen.

You shrug, unsure how to handle the situation. "I don't care. You go ahead and pick something."

"We don't have a lot of options at this point," he counters as your car enters your field of vision. "It's really late and a lot of restaurants have already closed." He continues typing away on his phone as he unlocks the Renault. "According to Google, I think there's a bistro nearby where the sandwiches are supposed to be good. Would you be okay with that?"

"Like I said, I don't care," you reply to him, getting into the car.

"What kind of sandwich do you want?" he asks after plopping down in the driver's seat. "I guess they have one with lettuce, chicken, and avocado." He raises an eyebrow. "I think I'll order that." He tucks his phone away and starts the car before letting it roll out of the parking lot. 

"I'll settle for a plain ham and cheese sandwich," you say, looking out the window. 

The fact that Charles is pretending you didn't almost kiss just now unsettles you so much that you can barely look at him. And the fact that you wanted to kiss him - actually wanted to kiss him - almost makes you disappear into your seat in shame. 

Because, as it seems, he doesn't want to. He draws the line between friendship and something more much more clearly than you do. And he doesn't seem to shift it to suit him. To him, you're his friend, his roommate, a means to an end until he can move into his other apartment. 

You are his friend. Friend. Friend. Friend. 

"Here we are," Charles breaks through your train of thought. He's already parked the car and points to the bistro on the street corner in front of you. A young man is tidying up the few chairs that are in front of the building and wiping down the tables with a rag. "I'll just get us something to eat. Do you need anything else?"

You look over at him with raised eyebrows. "I don't think we can get anything to eat there anymore."

"Why not?"

Confused, you look at him and point to the young man. "Because he's closing up store?"

Charles shrugs. "Just let me try it. It'll work," he smiles, and when you don't reply, he gets out. He jogs the few feet to the bistro and greets the man with a handshake, then points to the place. A little confused, but very pleased, the employee escorts your roommate into the building. 

How could you be so stupid? How could you think Charles would want something more from you than friendship? After all, it's Charles - funny, caring, and so handsome that it partially takes your breath away and he sneaks into your dreams. Why would someone like Charles - someone who could really have any woman on the planet - want more from you when you couldn't even keep someone like Raphael?

You've known each other for three fucking days. What makes you think he could even feel anything else for you after such a short time? How delusional do you have to be to even have a thought like that?

You're on the verge of jumping out of the car and walking home. 

How are you supposed to look him in the face now? Charles is not stupid, he would immediately notice that something is wrong. And you can't lie to him either, because he would see right through you. You don't want to face your feelings either, because that would mean that you have feelings for him that go beyond your friendship - and you are not ready for that pain. 

When Charles steps out of the bistro onto the street with two bags in his hand, you feel sick. Your appetite is abruptly gone, and just the thought of eating something makes you scrunch up your nose. How are you going to be able to eat anything after what happened?

Pull yourself together, you tell yourself. That's not a solution either. 

The only reasonable solution is obvious. The line that you've been pushing back and forth more than frequently over the past few days must stand nailed between you from now on. And it must be drawn up so that you can't cross it as you please. You have to protect yourself, protect your heart - especially after the thing with Raphael - and that's the only way without banning Charles from your life. 

Because that's the last thing you want. And you'll do anything to stop that from happening. 

"Here," Charles says as he rejoins you, handing you a bag. "I wasn't sure which ham you liked, so I just picked the one that looked the best." He places his own bag on the center console before steering the old Renault onto Nice's streets. 

Silence settles between you as you drive home. While Charles takes a bite of his sandwich in the meantime, you pick apart the bread with your fingers. 

To build this wall that is supposed to protect your heart, you need distance, which is definitely not possible in your small apartment. And the fact that you share a bed doesn't make matters any better, of course. For sure, it would be smarter if you reinstate your old deal - one of you sleeps in the bed, the other on the couch. 

But how are you supposed to set that up after you just agreed on the new arrangement at noon today? Snubbing Charles would be too obvious. He'd notice something was wrong, and he'd definitely be able to conclude that it had something to do with your almost-kiss. 

The fact that he will be out of the country for the next few days could be an advantage. The physical distance and the fact that you won't be spending every single second of the day together could build the wall between you up brick by brick. After that, you could claim that you are used to sleeping alone again - humans are creatures of habit, after all. And by then you will have shared the bed only twice. 

That shouldn't really be so obvious - right?

"Don't you like it?" asks Charles as you cross the border to Monaco. His gaze lingers briefly on your sandwich, which by now looks a bit messy. 

" Um, yes I do," you answer quietly and bite off a piece of it. Under other circumstances, the sandwich would actually taste delicious, but now it seems to have no taste at all. You chew on it a bit before choking down the dry lump of bread. "Thanks for getting us something to eat."

Your roommate smiles at you. "I'm sure my nutritionist would scold me if he saw me eating an entire sandwich in the middle of the night." He looks at the rest of his meal. "Even though it has lettuce and avocado on it." He tucks the last corner of his sandwich between his teeth, then grins at you with his mouth open. 

You roll your eyes. "You're disgusting."

His grin widens even more. "You love me," he teases you with his mouth full before swallowing. 

You don't even think to respond. 

The rest of the ride is quiet, and even when you arrive home, you remain silent. The silence is not uncomfortable, but the tension between you is still palpable. As you stand side by side in the bathroom brushing your teeth, you avoid Charles' gaze in the mirror, which you can clearly feel on you. 

The silence, however, gives you the opportunity to prepare yourself for what is about to come. It will be the last time you share a bed with Charles - which sounds like something you've been doing for years. The fact that your friendship feels like this doesn't make it any easier. 

If Charles comes home from Italy and you tell him you prefer the couch, he will surely feel put out. And rejecting your closest friend in such a way may not feel right, but keeping you safe is a priority. One thing you had to learn from Raphael. 

When you enter the bedroom in sleeping clothes, Charles is already in bed. He's lying on his side, facing the center, and apparently the man doesn't own pajamas, because his bare chest glows warmly in the light of the bedside lamp. He scrolls around on his phone, his upper arm resting on his side so that his biceps look even beefier. 

"I set an alarm, hope that's okay with you," he says as you lie down on your side of the bed and slip under the covers. "I have to get out on time, and then we can have a proper goodbye."

You plug your phone into the charger and then place it next to your pillow. "It's all good. We'll be fine." You pull your blanket up to your chin and snuggle in deep, trying to block out the fact that Charles is lying shirtless next to you. 

The brunette sets his phone aside, then flicks off the bedside lamp. As the room is in darkness, it feels like he's lying skin to skin next to you. You can feel his closeness, his warmth, and you would love to build a wall of pillows between you to bring the imaginary boundary into the physical world. 

You turn onto your back and stare at the ceiling, hearing Charles move under his covers as well, and hold your breath as you feel him rest his hand on your bedding. It's like he's reaching out for your hand. 

"I was with my ex yesterday," he says quietly, as if he doesn't dare say it out loud. 

You try to suppress the tugging in your chest. You have no right to feel this way when at the same time you wish there were countless pillows between you. You have no right to it when you're trying to protect your heart. You have no right to feel this way about your friend. 

"With Annika?" Your voice mirrors his, quiet, calm, hesitant. 

You hear his pillow ruffle. He nods. "She's the reason you and I share the apartment. She's living in my first apartment right now. Well, I'm still letting her live there." 

You purse your lips. "Your buddy from yesterday - he said he heard about you two and that he was sorry." You fight the urge to reach for his hand and intertwine your fingers with his. Him revealing himself to you is something you didn't expect.

"Yeah, that was Nico." He takes a deep breath. "Annika cheated on me."

Confused, you turn in his direction, even though you can't see him. "And then you still let her live there?"

He turns as well, facing you. "I wasn't a good boyfriend during the years we were a couple. My job was always my priority, I couldn't give her what she needed. She tried - really tried - but I never really got into it and -" He rubs his palm over his forehead. 

"- and then she cheated on you." You feel like wrapping him in your arms. "Are you letting her stay in the apartment because you feel guilty?" 

"I - I don't know - maybe -" His breath catches and you can clearly hear him struggling with himself. "Maybe if I had paid more attention to her, this wouldn't have happened. If I had taken more time to be with her. If -"

"Stop," you interrupt him harshly, "We're not going to continue this spiral of thought. There's no point going through the ifs, ands, and buts because you can't change it now. You can't change the fact that she cheated on you, and you can't turn back time to make it better. The only thing you can do is do better next time."

The thought of Charles eventually having a new girlfriend and making a real effort with her makes you feel sick. You don't like it, this fucking jealousy that's spreading through you, creeping through your veins like battery acid and leaving a sickening taste in your mouth. 

You try to mask it, even as tears spring to your eyes. "I don't know how exhausting your job in the car industry is, but maybe you can find someone who can walk the road with you. Who can travel with you when your job requires it. Who will stay by your side and support you when things get tough and stressful." Your voice trembles, and you hope Charles can't hear it. 

"Do you think there's someone like that for me? Who's willing to give up that much for me?" he asks, scooting a little closer to you. 

The voice in your head almost screams at you - "me, me, me" - but of course you can't repeat that out loud, so you nod. 

In fact, you'd be willing to give up everything for him, even though it's not much, of course. You have no job, no responsibilities except for the apartment, whose rent you don't have to pay, and you'd give anything to explore the world. 

But Charles is your roommate, your friend. You want someone for him who can make him happy. Even if it's not you. 

"Of course," you answer quietly, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I believe that there is a person out there for everyone. A soulmate to share everything with. Someone who's there for you and with whom you don't have to pretend to be somebody else."

"Hmm." You feel Charles' breath on your face. Only then do you realize how close he is to you. "So there's someone for you, too. Someone who will make time for you, won't let you down, and will take care of you. And most importantly, someone who doesn't fuck other women."

You have to smile. "The latter would be enough for me. But even that seems impossible. After all, look at us. We've both been cheated on."

Charles shrugs. "But if that hadn't happened, we wouldn't be living together now. We wouldn't even know each other, we wouldn't be friends." He exhales. "The fact that we both got cheated on really sucks, of course - but we found each other through it. And I wouldn't trade that for anything in this world."

Something tugs at your heart. You place another brick on the imaginary wall between you. 

"I don't want to go to Italy."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice."

Charles exhales a breath. "You said you were just going to sit here and wait for me to come home." He sounds concerned. 

"I was kidding," you try to lighten the situation. "I'm going to work, of course." The lie tastes bitter on your tongue. "And I still have Kika and Pierre." You pause. "And Lando."

You can feel your friend stiffen beside you at the mention of the Brit. "I thought you're happy with the tiramisu you had here on site?" His voice sounds colder and more bitter than it did a few seconds ago. 

"I am." You turn away from him, onto your back, to put distance between you. "But there are other desserts to try, aren't there? Or sandwiches. Pasta. Or something else. I've got to get these few days over somehow."

Unlike you, Charles notes that the meals you listed are all things you've already eaten together. That you would want to possibly top those few memories you have with him with Lando leaves a sickening taste in his mouth.

"Well, if you have to work and you're meeting with Kika and Pierre and we're facetiming in between, you might not have that much time to try other dessert. Or sandwiches. Pasta. Or something else," he repeats your words. 

"We'll see. If there really is someone suitable out there for me, I'm definitely not going to find him on our couch." When Charles doesn't answer, you declare the conversation to be over. You close your eyes, snuggle deeper into your blanket, and try to block out the fact that the person you want - the one who might be right for you - is lying shirtless next to you. 

You already have, Charles answers you in his mind, taking a deep breath. Your scent still clings to his bedclothes from noon today, his skin tingling as he breathes it in. Me. Me. Me.

next part

[lightsovermonaco]

He Was a Gamer Boy (Pierre)

Masterlist

Just a little something to celebrate my love, @limp-wrist-max I hope you like it Mea! 🧡

Word Count: 1.1k

Recommended song: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

"Merde! Charles help me out instead of sitting there!"

Pierre's swear shakes you from your book and you glance up at him. Rarely did he get so heated while playing a game since he usually kept his temper in check while streaming, but he had long since signed off twitch and was playing in a private lobby with Charles. You had no idea what the game was; Pierre had tried to explain it to you on multiple occasions but all the combinations of buttons and menus you had to remember was just far too much when you weren't invested in the story like he was.

So your free Friday nights were spent like this, with Pierre seated at his desk gaming with his friends or some lucky fans and you laying behind him on his bed, curled up with your current read. 

"It's only a game, no need to get so worked up," you tease, "and besides, you're yelling into the void. You don't even have your headset plugged in."

"It's fine." Pierre makes no move to plug it in or alert Charles to his errors, instead grumbling to himself.

"Its not a big deal. Just restart if it all goes wrong.," you suggest, attention falling back to your book. It was an old favorite you were rereading for the thousandth time, something familiar that required little brain power to consume.

"Not when Charles is about to undo hours of progress in the space of a few minutes," Pierre grumbles, swearing under his breath again.

"He's trying his best," you point out. "He doesn't play as often as you do." Unfurling to your feet, you stretch your arms over your head. The movement catches Pierre's eye and he does a double take. His eyes eat up the sliver of your stomach revealed by your stretch and he immediately opens an arm.

"Get over here."

"I'm only grabbing a drink, then I'm going back to reading."

"No, I've got water right here. Come here."

You sigh but do as he bids, slotting your legs on either side of his thighs and wrapping your arms around his neck. You thread your fingers in his hair and peck his cheek before laying your head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you, simultaneously holding you and his controller while he continues to play. The soft clicking is somehow soothing, scratching that itch in your brain that begs for stimulation whenever you're sitting still.

The next time Pierre sighs in frustration, you press your lips to his neck. The way his fingers falter tells you the action had been noted and you smile. You grant him a few more minutes of peace before you slide a hand under the hem of his shirt to trace patterns on his skin.

"Mon amour," he warns, one hand flat against your back. "None of that."

"Why not?" Your lips brush his ear and he tenses beneath your fingertips. "You seem more relaxed now."

"Oh, do I? Because I feel more wound up."

"Well you've stopped swearing," you point out.

"Fuck this," he growls, setting the controller down and sitting off the console. He stands in and takes you with him in one swift movement.

"Hey!" You yelp and wrap your ankles around his back. "You can't just abandon your friend like that."

"Charles will figure it out soon enough. I want you."

Pierre's lips meet yours and his tongue swipes across the seam of your mouth. In a change from your usual compliance, you deny him and he pulls back to gape at you.

"Excuse me?"

"You're being rude. You can't leave Charles hanging, not when he wouldn't do that to you."

Pierre sighs and moves his hands to cup your ass, shifting you so you're more comfortable. "Fine. If I sign back on, will you sit with me and be good?"

You nod your head, a grin splitting your face. "I promise to keep my hands mostly to myself."

Pierre plunks back down in his gaming chair and lets you situate yourself before he texts Charles and turns the game back on. You slide a hand back under his shirt and are rewarded with a murmured reminder of your promise.

"Hands to yourself."

"I can't touch you at all now? That's just cruel and unusual punishment." You keep your hand still, simply soaking in his warmth. You're entirely aware of the effect the skin to skin contact has on him, his heart speeding up a touch.

Soon enough Pierre slips into the zone, falling silent as he concentrates on his objective. You pull back, careful to keep out of his line of sight to study his face. Eyebrows slightly drawn together and the light from the monitors reflected in his eyes paint a picture you'd love to frame and keep tucked away to pull out while he was on the road. It was so simple and domestic to be seated in his lap while he unwound and played a game, a luxury you were deprived of eight months of the year. Before you can stop yourself, you trace the curve of his jaw with a fingertip.

"You're the one who wanted me to keep playing," Pierre reminds you, eyes not leaving the screens. "Now you have to be patient."

"I'll be patient but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself while I wait." 

Pierre groans when your lips meet his neck, trailing hot kisses over his skin. You pull back the collar of his shirt to nip lightly at the skin of his shoulder, muscle going taut at the graze of your teeth.

"Please just let me finish this round." 

 "Better hurry up," you murmur, shifting the balance of the dynamic by stripping off your hoodie and tossing it over your shoulder.

His eyes flick to you for a second and he blows out a breath. "Merde, mon amour. That's not fair."

"Neither is your unbearable sexiness when you've got that concentration face on."

"Is that why you're always all over me when I play?" He laughs, eyes glazing over as he does his best to stay focused. "Guess I should play games more often."

"The sim is even better," you point out, sliding a hand over his shoulder. "I could watch you on the sim all day."

"Oh would you look at that," Pierre says suddenly, setting down his controller, "looks like I got taken out. How unfortunate."

"Did you?" You laugh lightly, wrapping your arms around his neck. "What bad luck."

"Now the only question is do I fuck you right here or take you to bed?"

Your wicked grin stretches from ear to ear. "Dealer's choice."

[someone-worth-racing-for]

is it just me or do carlos & Lando not seem close anymore? like they clearly still get on fine on the bus & things but it’s almost always Lando that initiates fhay. they never post anything of them hanging out or seem to do anything together & carlos seems to have much more in common with charles & pierre. idk maybe they just keep it much more private if they do stuff now instead but it feels like he’s leaving lando behind and it makes me sad.

Well, I can't say for sure, if you are only here to make trouble anon, or if you are really concerned/sad. But I think you are, why I just couldn't delete your message. If you are only here to spread hate, then my attribute to always see the good in peole has been wrong once again..

However, I actually think you really don't need to worry about that at all. Even tho we don't get so much content about them anymore (which is actually logical with them not being in the same team anymore), I think the "distance", not driving for the same team anymore, only did their friendship good and they became even deeper than they had already been before (and I'm really not talking about a shipping kind of way here at all).

Anon, they are close, even tho we don't see it, but they are. There are these moments, when you can actually tell they ate still friends and very close, like when they have both told us (Lando even three times!) that Lando had told Carlos on the phone before the race in Monaco that he had a big chance to get on the podium. So they actually still communicate with each other. Or when Lando had tried to call Carlos during the football match live on his stream.

Everytime they get the oppertunity to get close to each other, they do. As close as possible actually 😅 Only remember all those driver parades. They just can’t only stay next to each other before the We Race As One part, they just have to talk to each other.

Remember the podium in Monaco, or when Carlos was so happy to share a podium with Lando together and interupted his interview after the race. Them tagging each other on Instagram, Carlos' reaction to Lando’s accident in Spa. Carlos having a freaking framed picture of Lando on his nightstand, the way they are smiling at each other every time.

I could actually go on like that forever, so there is really no need to worry about their friendship or them not being close anymore.

Of course they aren’t posting such content, because I think they aren’t even allowed to do so (except when it’s F1 related, like Lando posted the pic of the two of them in Monaco). Even tho they are already allowed to get closer to each other on the driver parade bus or mixed press conferences on Thursday again, I think they actually still shouldn’t post any or too many pics together outside of F1. Of course they all still do sometimes and we also know or at least can expect that they do spend time together indeed, but they at least shouldn’t post about it every time. Like playing golf together is alright because of the distance and being outside, but not playing chess together in a coffeshop (why Carlos probably had to delete that story back then).

What I’m trying to say here, I’m sure that Carlando and also many of the other drivers are actually spending time together, but they just don’t post about it. Either because of the reason I have already said above or because they just don’t want to. And it’s okay, it’s their right. They really don’t have to share everyhting with us, even tho we would like them to do so. But just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

I think the last thing on earth Carlos will ever do is leaving Lando behind. He just has the biggest soft spot for him and even tho Carlos does spend a lot of time with Charles together lately (of course he does - he is his teammate) and also talks with Pierre before the driver parade or with someone else, doesn’t mean he isn’t friends with Lando anymore and ignores him.

I really think they have become even better friends now with not being teammates anymore.

I hope I have been able to take at least some of your fear away with my post here, because I think you really shouldn’t worry about it at all. 

Don’t focus so much on the content we don’t see, focus on the content we actually see 😉

[sleepyverstappens]

Your soul and mine

Title: Your soul and mine

Pairing: Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris

Rating: Gen/PG (bar a few curses)

Word Count: 2138

Tags: Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris, Alternate universe - Soulmate, Soulmate Identifying Marks

A/N:  Me writing a fic without Max *gasp!* apparently miracles do happen, because Max is only mentioned once in this one.J prompted me a Charles/Lando meet cute fic on whatsapp and my brain totally skipped over the meet cute part and instead this happened. I guess it's still quite cute though?Anyways hope you enjoy this one :D

Summary: Most people were very private about their marks, if they could hide it they would do so. So unless you were one of the unfortunate souls with a mark stretching over your face the mark would be hidden away from sight until you found your match. People would wear scarves and gloves all year to keep that little piece of them hidden if they needed to. Only openly showing their marks ones they had started moving, once they had met the other half of their soul.

Read on AO3

No, he thought, no it couldn't be, it was supposed to be Carlos. Carlos who's mark he'd seen just a flash of. A glimpse of it caught when he'd walked in on him unannounced as Carlos changed into his fireproofs. The intricate swirl of a tail peeking out on his shoulder before he could cover himself. Carlos’ eyes worried as they met his own, but Lando had somehow managed to play it off as if he hadn’t seen anything, joking about as if nothing had happened. 

Most people were very private about their marks, if they could hide it they would do so. So unless you were one of the unfortunate souls with a mark stretching over your face the mark would be hidden away from sight until you found your match. People would wear scarves and gloves all year to keep that little piece of them hidden if they needed to. Only openly showing their marks ones they had started moving, once they had met the other half of their soul. 

He'd only seen a glimpse of Carlos' mark, but that tail had looked so familiar, like the tail on his right foot. The tail connected to the little monkey that had been there since he was 15. The same monkey that was staring back at him on Twitter now, the intricate details just like his own standing out against the pale skin of Charles Leclerc's stomach.

Charles Leclerc who he had maybe spoken five words with all throughout last season, the Ferrari prodigy not interested in hanging out with the new rookies even though he'd been one himself only a season before. Happy enough to stick to Pierre or Seb’s side whenever they had some free time during the busy weekends. 

“Fuck,” he cursed softly. He knows the universe wouldn't just put him with Charles randomly, but then why did he hate the idea of being his soulmate so much? His mind had been so set on it being his teammate, the teammate who he got along with so well. Who would laugh at his dumb jokes, whose touches he would still feel long after his long fingers had left his body. Yet none of his touches had made his monkey start moving, not even a smidge. He’d held out hope, hope that maybe Carlos’ touches weren’t right, did they ever actually touch skin? His brain was coming with plenty of excuses of how it could still be Carlos, until he’d seen that picture, that undeniable picture. 

It had to be photoshopped right? People did that all the time and it wasn't like Sun of all tabloids was a trustworthy one. But then how could they have gotten it just like his one? This wasn't a random leaf or puzzle piece that anyone could think up, no it actually had the monkey missing one of its toes like his one. Unless the person that wrote the article was his soulmate there was no way someone had faked that soulmark. 

“Fuck,” he cursed once more, a little louder, some curious looks thrown his way from the other people in the hospitality cafeteria. What did people do when they found out who their soulmate was? Movies always made it so romantic, eyes meeting across a crowded room, the soft touch they’d share, eyes widening as their marks started moving, the rest of the world going quiet as they only had eyes for the one that made their soul complete. Yet here was Lando, sat all alone in the middle of a crowded canteen, cutlery clinking loudly through the noise of people chatting. He needed to get away from all the noise, get some fresh air, sort his head out.

The paddock was bustling with people, but the noise felt less crowding than it had done inside. It’s only the second week of testing and people seem a lot more chill than during the race weekends, waiting somewhat patiently for their favourite drivers as they go for their lunch break. He hasn’t driven yet today, Carlos racking up more miles in the morning before he would jump in in an hour or so. 

Charles has though and Lando wonders whether he’s seen the pictures yet. How the scums from the Sun had managed to catch the exact moment Charles’ shirt had lifted he doesn’t know. The picture showed the young man standing on the balcony of his Monaco apartment, hair a mess and eyes squinted closed as he stretched his arms above his head. People would say it was his own fault for not making sure the mark was covered, but he was at home, a space that was supposed to be safe. And he’d clearly only just woken up, his brain not firing on all cylinders yet and somehow the camera had snapped at that exact moment. 

He hadn’t realised how far along the paddock he’d walked, his feet stopping abruptly as his eyes caught the bright red Ferrari hospitality building. A lone figure sat outside on the terrace attached to it, the hood of his jacket up against the cold as he gripped his phone tightly. Lando could see the forlorn expression on Charles’ face, clearly he’d seen the picture, how they had zoomed in on his stomach, broadcasting his mark to the world. Seeing Charles like this made his heart ache, his head and his heart at war on whether or not he should go to Charles and tell him. Tell him that whilst it sucked what they had done it had made Lando find him, find his soulmate. 

He’s about to step forward, let his heart lead the way, when Charles glances up, their eyes meeting and Lando freezes. He can’t do it, he’s not ready, not ready to give up the possibility of someone else. Of brown eyes and a Spanish accent, instead of brown eyes and a French accent. He manages to make a small smile stretch on his lips before he rushes back to the McLaren hospitality, to the safety of his home away from home.   

---

The next two days of testing fly by quickly, they get through their scheduled programming without much trouble and he gets to set the fourth fastest time, just behind Lewis, Max and Sergio, Ferrari still struggling to find the pace even during the second week in Barcelona. He had tried to avoid the team of the prancing horse as much as possible, only catching a glimpse of Charles as he had walked into the paddock on Thursday morning, other than seeing his bright red car out on track.

So it’s a surprise to find himself sat across from Charles in the first class lounge at the airport. He’d been there first, lazily scrolling through the messages on various social media when Charles had let himself fall into the chair across from him. There’s only two other people in the lounge and yet he’d sat there, right across from Lando, the Brit’s eyes widening a little as he’d found Charles staring at him. 

They drag their eyes away from each other in sync, Charles’ eyes now also focussed on the phone in his hand. Lando can’t help but sneak a few glances up at the Monegasque, seeing a deep frown wrinkling up his forehead as he reads whatever is on the phone. Then Charles huffs loudly, his phone clattering onto the table loudly as he pushes it away from him. 

“What’s up?”

And now that frown is directed at Lando, brown eyes piercing into him before he lifts a condescending eyebrow. “Really? Like you don’t know, like the whole fucking world doesn’t know already.”

“Sorry,” Lando murmured, feeling embarrassed for even asking. He’d just wanted to be nice to the guy, maybe get him to open up about how he’s feeling with all the shit that’s going on and then maybe hint at the fact that Lando is his soulmate. But instead he’d already fucked it up, the angry scowl on Charles’ face really making him question the universe right now. Did he have it all wrong? It couldn’t be, he’d stared at that picture for so long, zooming in on every tiny detail to compare it to his own mark and he’d found nothing different. Fuck, how would he tell Charles and actually make him believe Lando. Show him his own mark before Charles could angrily run out of the lounge, thinking Lando was only taking the piss out off him.  

“I need to tell you something,” he murmured just as the tannoy was announcing that the flight to Nice was now boarding, Charles’ flight. 

“That’s me,” Charles shrugged apologetically, rushing to grab his carry on, wrapping his headphones around his neck and starting to leave. And in a moment of panic Lando reached out for him, halfway out of his chair, fingers wrapping around the Monegasque’s wrist. Skin touching skin. And it’s a fucking cliché, it’s a goddamn fucking cliché but at that moment everything seems to go in slow motion. Charles’s wide eyes finding his own as everything but Charles’s face becomes blurry around them.    

He can’t stop the gasp from escaping his lips, mouth falling open as the rushing of his blood becomes deafening to his ears. This was really happening. Charles really was his soulmate, the other half of his soul. Their body and mind connecting from that single touch. His fingers start to tingle where they are still wrapped around Charles’s wrist and he could feel his right foot starting to itch.

“It’s really you,” he finally managed to get out, the words somehow managing to break Charles out of his stupor as well. 

“What?” Charles said voice hoarse, unable to believe what was happening right now, his eyes flicking over Lando’s face to look for the answer to a question he didn’t even know yet. “What the fuck is happening?”

“We’re soulmates. I… I’m your soulmate. I didn’t want to believe it at first, when I saw the picture, but it’s really you,” Lando said overwhelmed. 

“But, wha… how?”

“The fucking universe thinks were meant for each other apparently,” Lando said with a shrug. Now that there was no denying it anymore, that it really was Charles that was his soulmate and not Carlos his brain gave in easily, not fighting this inexplicable force that had brought them together, that connected them. 

His foot really was starting to itch a lot now though, he stomped his left foot on top of the right one trying to stop it from itching, but it didn’t work. His movement had managed to direct Charles’s gaze towards where he was fidgeting though, his eyes focussing in on his right foot. “Is it there? Your mark?”

“Yeah, it’s itching like a bitch dude, how are you not scratching your stomach off right now?” Lando whined, finally giving up on trying to scratch his foot through his shoe and tugging the laces free. 

“Wait, wait Lando you can’t, not right here!”

“There’s no one here Charles, everyone’s gone to their flights.” He let himself fall back into his seat and tugged his shoe free from his foot, sock falling to the floor as well and then he gasped once more. Because where his mark had been stagnant before, the monkey on his foot was now moving its head to stare up at him, tail flicking as it scratched its cheek, before looping back around. The same movements would repeat themself on his skin now permanently, repeating themself until Charles would die breaking their bond. 

“Can I? Can I see yours?” He asked tentatively, fingers itching to reach out for Charles’s white t-shirt, to move it away and see the same pattern on Charles’s skin.   

With one last glance around the empty first class lounge Charles slowly lifted his shirt, gasping softly as he saw his own mark moving on his skin. The monkey moving its head to the side, flicking its tail, before scratching its cheek and on and on again. He gasped again, a little louder as Lando’s fingers touched his skin, tracing around the shape of the mark, following the lines of the delicate tail.

“Shit, sorry!” Lando cursed, drawing his hand back as if it had been burned. 

“It’s okay. Feels nice,” Charles murmured, sounding so in awe of everything that was happening right now. A bright smile was starting to appear on his face though, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Come here,” he beckoned, drawing Lando up from his seat again and pulling him into a tight hug. 

“Last call for Mister Charles Leclerc,” the lady on the tannoy announced loudly, but Charles just tightened his grip around him, not moving away from the hug, perfectly content in the little bubble they were in.    

“C'est vraiment toi.” 

[lightsovermonaco]

His Good Sweater: Chapter 11 (NSFW)

Masterlist

IT’S THE MOMENT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR BESTIES! Thanks as always to @acollectionofficsandshit I think I broke her with this chapter! She also found  the song for this chapter so special thanks for that as well ❤

Word Count: 7.6k

Recommended song: “The Man Who Can’t be Moved” by the Script

The steam of the shower cleanses your senses and washes away the sweat from your workout. Crisp September air rushes through the open window and raises goosebumps on your skin as you step out. You turn off the tap and wrap yourself in a fluffy towel in an attempt to ward off the chill. A glance at the clock tells you that you have a half hour to get ready before your date picks you up.

Peter was one of the few guys in your major that paid you any attention. Most of them tolerated you at best but it had never bothered you. You were independent enough that you could make it through class on your own and google what you didn’t understand afterward and learn it before the exam.

It had been fairly easy to fall in with Peter and a few others during the first few weeks of summer classes. What began with group study sessions and quickly developed into hanging out one on one with Peter on the weekends to go to coffee shops or play video games.

When Peter had asked you out two months ago, Pierre's voice nagged in the back of your head. He asked if you were ready to move on from him and if you could really forget him.

The simple answer was no, forgetting him was impossible. No matter how many years passed, he would always own a part of you. 

Peter was sweet and he cared about you but you were quickly realizing the bond you shared with him didn't run as deep as it had with Pierre. He started as your friend and you really didn't feel right letting it develop past that. Although you had agreed to that date and plenty more in the time since, it still didn’t feel like a relationship. You had to stop yourself from imagining someone else's arm around you when you lounged on the sofa or someone else's lips kissing you goodnight.

You slip into a form fitting red cocktail dress and sweep your hair over a shoulder, banishing the memory. The person staring back at you in the mirror is a stranger, a ghost of who you once were. You pull your lips into a smile nowhere near as bright as it was months ago.

A knock on your apartment door startles you from your trance. Peter holds a bouquet of flowers, a broad grin on his face. He was handsome in a traditional sense, with a sharp jawline and playful forest green eyes that promised a good time. He was adventurous; a night in wasn’t in the cards. Everything was an event with him and you didn’t mind the distractions one bit.

"You look amazing as always," he says, stepping inside and kissing your cheek. You sniff the flowers lightly. Daisies were some of your least favorite flowers but the gesture was too sweet to point that out.

"So do you," you respond, gaze sweeping from his scuffed wingtip shoes to his crisp blue button down shirt. Ocean blue, washed out against Peter's pale skin, but would have looked perfect on Pierre's golden complexion.

You had to stop thinking about him. You saw him everywhere. On more than one occasion, you dropped out of a conversation when you caught a glimpse of blond hair bobbing through a crowd or heard a laugh startlingly similar to his. You couldn’t escape the idea of him whether you liked it or not.

"Are you okay?" Peter asks, touching your elbow.

God, you were so far from okay. Your mind was a melted mess of memories of a blond Frenchman and all the broken promises between the pair of you. This was pointless. You were wasting your time with Peter. He was great and should have been everything you wanted but he just wasn't enough.

"I'm so sorry," you start, handing back the flowers. "I don't think this is going to work."

"Oh thank god," he says, shoulders drooping as he runs a hand through his hair. "I've been thinking the same thing, I just didn't want to be the one to say it." You both laugh, the tension ebbing from your frame.

"Don't get me wrong," he continues, "You're amazing. There's just no…"

"Spark," you finish. "Yeah, I agree. Friends?"

You stick out your hand and he shakes it firmly. "Sounds like a plan. No hard feelings. See you in class on Monday?"

"I'll be there."

You slip out of your heels with a sigh, glad you don't have to endure that form of torture any longer. For the first time in months, you allow yourself to scroll through Pierre's Instagram.

Instead of being flooded with personal pictures it had become mostly posed shoots.it was the kind of thing that seemed staged, like he was only posted because his PR team deemed it necessary.

As time went on the content became more and more clinical. He was giving fans less of an insight into his personal life and focusing on racing content. You knew he had probably thrown everything he had into the season in an attempt to move on and you couldn't blame him. 

If his Insta was to be believed, he had earned a handful of podiums in the four months since you had mostly lost interest in the sport. After Austin it had been nearly impossible to watch a full race and you had instead been getting your biased updates from Max, who conveniently left out all but the barest details of anyone’s race weekend but his own.

There was no point in trying to convince yourself you no longer felt anything for Pierre. Just scrolling through his page reignites the flame in your chest that had been burning far too dimly for far too long. 

Heart pounding, you double tap a photoset of him modeling for Alpha Tauri, the lighting accenting his eyes. Their distinct, rich blue had always been your weakness. 

Your fingers find their way to the charm at your throat. You hadn't taken it off once since the gala. It was pointless to deny the sway he still held over you all these months later. Maybe it was time you stopped pretending you were fine and finally give in to the pull. 

The past few months have given you plenty of time to reflect. The media would hound you like dogs but at least while you were in London they would leave your family alone. And really, enduring their scrutiny was a small price to pay if it meant loving Pierre.  

“I’m an idiot,” you mumble, pulling up his contact in your phone. Breaking up with him had been the dumbest decision of your life. You’d watched him from afar as he traveled from grand prix to grand prix, touring cities and sleeping everywhere except where he belonged: curled up next to you in your tiny London flat, whispering sweet nothings in your ear until you both fell asleep.

You couldn’t bear it any longer. Fuck what anyone would say. Nothing could be worse than knowing your soulmate was out there and you let him go.

Heart pounding, you type out a text. I miss you.

Shaking your head, you erase it. How are you? Seemed more appropriate.

"Here goes nothing," you murmur and hit send.

**********

 It started off as any other free Sunday did: Charles and Charlotte arriving at his apartment carrying snacks and beer which neither of them would tell their trainers about tomorrow and plopping in front of the television to watch the PSG match.

The trio roared at the screen at poor calls and yelled when a goal was scored, all completely lost in the sport.

Pierre absently registers his phone buzzing during the last few minutes of the match but ignores it. PSG comes out on top and he finally checks it, nearly choking on the pretzels he was eating.

How are you?

Pierre has to read it thrice before he’s convinced it’s real. 

"Holy fuck," he says softly, tipping the phone so Charles can see. 

"Told you mate." He takes Charlotte's hand and stands. Football match completely forgotten, Pierre lifts a hand in a wave as the couple leaves. His eyes are fixed on the screen as he tries to comprehend the gravity your words carry.

After months of waiting in agony and wondering if you still cared, you’d texted him.

He had no idea how he managed to keep his feet on the floor. He was completely weightless, reading your message over and over again until it sinks in.

He takes the three simple words as permission to finally delve back into your life, immediately scrolling through your instagram to catch up. He double taps every post save for the ones with you and some tall, handsome guy. His stomach twists. 

Fuck it. Even if you just wanted to catch up, he'd take it. If you told him you were with someone else and you were happy, he'd learn to live with it. He was starved of you and was prepared to beg for crumbs of your life.

I'm fine. You have time for a phone call?

It was a leap but he acknowledged and accepted the risks.

Yeah. That would be good.

You pick up on the second ring.

"Hey."

Pierre squeezes his eyes shut, pushing back the lump in his throat. Years of memories rush over him in the space of a breath. The shock in your voice when you found out he was a driver for the first time. Your smile and breathless laugh when you met him in the garage in Brazil after his first podium in Formula 1. The tentative glances he had thrown your way for months after he finally accepted that he had begun to fall for you. The way your velvet lips felt when he made a gamble and kissed you for the first time. The drunken lilt of your voice when you told him you loved him that night in London.

Before he can stop it the bad comes rushing back too. The memory of the terror on your face when he let it slip that you were together sends a chill through him. If there was one moment he could change, it wouldn’t be the time he fucked up and lost his seat at Red Bull. It would be to keep his damned mouth shut at that karting track and preserve the bliss of that day and tuck it away in a bulletproof case that he could pull out and look at whenever he wanted.

"Hey you," he manages, silently thanking whoever is listening that he keeps the tremble out of his voice. "Been awhile."

"Yeah," you say sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he says quickly. "You never need to apologize to me."

You were the last one that needed to apologize for anything. He should be the one beginning for forgiveness. It was his fault you’d panicked. He should have fought harder for you, proved that he could make it work and save you both from months of heartache. But then again, maybe you had moved on. He couldn’t expect you to wait for him forever.

He doesn’t realize he’s been silent for so long until you clear your throat. For the first time he can recall, the silence is thick and heavy with unspoken words. It had always been effortless, the stories and words flowing like a babbling brook between the two of you. Now the confessions on his tongue remain poised there, too terrified to give them the light of day. 

"How's your season been?" He’s thankful you break the quiet first but the question makes his stomach sink. 

"You haven't been watching?"

"Not really."

"Oh." It made sense that you would distance yourself from him and that was fine, but he couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. "It's been decent. Red Bull wants me to come to Milton for contract discussions this week, actually."

"You're moving back up?"

"Potentially." Horner had only called him earlier that week to discuss the potential of him returning to Red Bull next year. The informal agreement was that if he could make seventh in the championship in a midfield car, they would bump him back for the following season. 

It wasn’t a concrete guarantee- that’s why Horner wanted to speak with him in person. He had a year left in his contract and being in a Red Bull meant he would be able to prove his worth to other teams and potentially secure a world championship worthy seat at a team that actually appreciated his talent.

He draws a breath before continuing, "I'll be in London on Monday. You know- if you wanna get together."

You stay silent for a touch too long and he panics. It was too soon. He should have kept his mouth shut because now he’d driven you away again. “Nevermind, forget I said anything-"

"No," you interrupt, "no, I'd love to see you and catch up. I don't have classes on Tuesdays. Have any free time then?"

His eyes slide shut and he exhales. The flack he would undoubtedly catch for shuffling around a few interviews would be worth it to see you. "Yeah. I can swing by your apartment around seven?"

"Okay," you say, a touch of excitement lacing your voice. "I'll make myself presentable."

"I-" he stops himself before the words can slip past his lips. "I'll see you then."

*********

Pierre blows out a breath and adjusts his backpack. He stands at the threshold of your building, keys in hand, unsure if he should let himself in. The dilemma had kept him rooted to the spot for nearly ten minutes now, weighing the pros and cons of his options. 

“Hey you, blond fucker.” Pierre whips around and is met by Daniel’s girlfriend glaring up at him from the sidewalk. She tips her head to the side to study him. Apparently he wasn’t the only one that had to cancel plans to be here tonight. “You gonna grow a pair and go up there or just keep staring at the door all day?”

“I’m going,” he grumbles, “are you?”

“Oh, I was going to but clearly whatever you have planned is more important.” Her grin splits her face ear to ear. “About damn time she got ahold of you. I was getting sick of listening to her gripe about you twenty four seven.”

“Didn’t she tell you I was coming by? If you guys have plans I can come back later.”

She waves a hand and dismisses the offer. “Absolutely not. Go get your girl.”

“She’s not-” The glare she cuts him snatches the words from his mouth. She makes a shooing motion before setting off down the sidewalk, munching on whatever snacks were in her shopping bag.

Pierre shakes out his hands and tries to gather the courage to use his key. The hopeless romantic argued that you would expect him to use it because you would know he still had it. The rational side of him butts in to point out that it might catch you off guard if he showed up without warning. He settles on buzzing your unit, your answer fuzzy from the distortion.

"Pierre?"

Even with the warbly static in your voice, his name on your lips is the salvation he’s been dreaming about for months. "Yeah it's me."

"Don't you have a key?"

"I wasn't sure if I should use it."

You don't answer, instead letting the buzz of the electronic lock do the talking. He takes the stairs three at a time, barely winded by the time he reaches the third floor. He doesn't even have to knock, your door swinging open as he steps up. The sight of you knocks the breath from his lungs. 

It didn't matter that you were in a simple hoodie and jeans, feet bare and hair swept back in a low bun. You are the most beautiful person he's ever seen and after months apart he nearly falls to his knees then and there to beg for your forgiveness, to get lost in you until two souls became one and he never had to live another second apart from you.

"Are you gonna stand there or do you wanna come in?"

God, he had missed your teasing jabs. His fingers ache for contact with your soft skin and he curls them into a fist to resist the urge. “Coming in,” he says softly, purposefully brushing your arm as he skirts past you. Every inch of him sings from the barely there touch, his soul aching for more.

Just stepping foot into your quaint flat has the weight he had been carrying on his chest for months beginning to ease up. Nothing beat the elation of being back where he belonged, not even spraying champagne from the top step on a podium.

Determined not to scare you off before he could have a proper conversation with you, Pierre opts for falling into the same humor you had used earlier. The corners of his mouth twitch upward. "Is that takeout I smell?" 

You nod, your cheeks turning a pale pink. “I got you two orders of beef lo mein. I figured you might be hungry.”

As if summoned, his stomach growls. “Yeah. I haven’t eaten since breakfast."

“Figures,” you say, eyes glinting with mischief as you settle into the plush carpet and pull a takeout box towards you. "I got it from that place across town, the one you liked best." Pierre perches on the edge of the sofa and snags the plastic tray with his name on it, eyes never leaving yours.

Now that you were mere feet from him he found it increasingly difficult to deny himself the relief of kissing you here and now. He wanted to trace his thumb over your lips before replacing it with his own, to slot his mouth over yours until time was nothing and he was no one other than yours.

You clear your throat and drop his gaze first, sending him crashing back to reality. “So, ninth huh? Glad to see you cracked the top ten.”

Pierre scrunches his nose and spears a piece of broccoli. He was shit with chopsticks but you always got a kick out of him fumbling with them. “Not where I’d like to be but I’ll take it. Horner took notice obviously, but I’m not getting my hopes up.”

“I think an invitation to Milton Keynes is enough reason to hope," you say around a mouthful of sticky rice.

This interaction was reason to hope. The fact that you were once again on speaking terms, that things were finally returning to some semblance of normal, was enough for him to believe that one day everything would be back to how it was before. That maybe, just maybe, he could hold you in his arms again and fall asleep to the soundtrack of your heart beating in his ear. 

Remembering the guy from your instagram, he scans the room for any sign of a male companion. Finding none, he asks, “How’s your boyfriend?”

It probably would have been a good idea to go about this particular line of questioning with a bit more tact. Inquiring so blatantly betrayed his inner thoughts, laid all his cards on the table. He didn't have it in him to care, not when his world might be turned upside down by your answer.

“Oh, you mean Peter?” You sip your water, seemingly working up the courage to explain. Each moment that the silence dragged on it became more of a physical monster. Pierre could feel it growing until it threatened to sink his claws in him and drag him deeper into the pits of his insecurity.

“If that’s his name, yeah.” Pierre braces himself for whatever comes next, reminding himself to be happy for you no matter what you choose. It would take time but he could put aside what he still felt for you and learn to accept your choice if it meant staying in your life.

You shake your head. “He’s a friend from uni. He’s not my boyfriend. At least not anymore.”

“Oh,” he says, frowning down at his food to cover the way his heart skips. “But he was?”

He had expected you to move on, if he was being honest. No way in hell did you deserve to be as miserable as he had been since you'd left- you deserved all the happiness he couldn't seem to give you and more. And if someone else had been the one to grant you that happiness, he should thank them. 

“For a little while,” you say softly, like it would cushion the blow. “It didn’t feel right.”

He was familiar with that feeling. Nothing he did felt right after the break up. Just about the only thing that kept him sane was telling himself that you’d come to your senses sooner or later.

And now that he was here, his world was beginning to right itself.

“Earth to Pierre,” you say teasingly, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “I just- I’ve missed this,” he says, picking at his food.

“What, eating subpar takeout in my tiny apartment?” You laugh and stuff another bite in your mouth. God, you could be so oblivious. It was one of the many things he adored about you. 

“I do. I miss doing anything that involves you, actually.”

There it was. His heart laid bare before you for the second time, waiting to see how you would respond. You set down your chopsticks and wipe your lips. His eyes track their movement as you whisper, “I’ve missed you too.”

Four syllables and he melts. It takes all he has to keep himself from sobbing with relief. It was everything he had come here hoping to hear. He couldn’t endure this again, couldn’t lose you for a second time-

“Don’t say that unless you mean it,” he pleads, body thrumming with the need to wrap you in his arms. “Don’t put me through this again unless you’re here to stay.”

He wasn't strong enough to tell you to stop. He would let you wreck him and he would be completely powerless to stop it. He would welcome it if it meant you granting him a sliver of your time. It would ruin him for anyone else but he didn’t have it in him to turn you away.

You rise to your feet and pad around the low table until you’re standing knee to knee, his neck craned up to study your face. You just keep looking at him, the leash on his carefully controlled restraint slipping as he rambles, “Because I can’t take it if you leave me again, I won’t-”

You simply nod, as if that’s all the answer he should need. But it’s not enough. “Tell me,” he pleads. “Tell me you mean it.”

He didn’t care that he was begging. He didn’t care that you had reduced his normally impenetrably stoic mentality to a jumble of you. If he was being honest with himself, you were the light of his life, the reason he pushed so hard for results on track. Everything had gone black and white when you left and racing had been the only thing keeping him from falling apart at the seams. The need to make you proud still propelled him forward even if he'd had no idea if you still cared.

So no, he didn’t care at all that he was practically on his knees. He would grovel at your feet for his entire life if it meant you’d grant him one more day to be with you.

“I mean it,” you murmur and place a hand on his cheek. He draws a shaky breath, leaning into you. Home, home, home, his head screams, acutely aware of every square inch of contact between the two of you.

“I’ve had plenty of time to think about it, and I’ve finally come to terms with it- your lifestyle. If I love you, I have to accept it being public. I have to build myself a shelter to withstand the storm, but I’ll make it big enough for two.”

It takes everything in him to keep from crushing you to his chest and never letting go. He had to ask, had to be certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was forever. “Promise me you won’t leave again if things get hard. Promise me we’ll get through whatever they throw at us together.”

“I promise. I’m not afraid anymore,” you murmur. Pierre’s head falls forward to rest on your hip bone, your fingers threading in his hair. “Daniel’s girlfriend helped me see that it doesn’t matter what anyone says. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I haven't been the same since I…”

“Neither have I.” His thumb winds under your shirt to sweep over your soft skin. “You’re safe with me, you know that right? I can protect you from whatever they say and you’re right, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is this-” he finally lets himself look up at you- “what we have. I’ve never stopped loving you, not once.”

Your smile is soft and tentative as you climb into his lap. His hands slide up your sides to pull you closer, refusing to let an inch separate you now that you’d bridged the gap. “I promise I’m not going anywhere. I learned my lesson.”

You lean down to ghost your lips over his brow, his closed eyelids, his nose. He can feel himself reconstructing under your touch, that final piece of the puzzle clicking home after being lost for so long. “I promise that I’m yours until the last star falls from the sky.”

He had lost four months of time with you. He wouldn't allow another second to slip through his fingers. 

Anticipating his movements, you meet him halfway. Fireworks explode as his lips finally return home and his world is finally, finally righted. Your nails scratch lightly at the nape of his neck, drawing him impossibly closer as your body moulds against his. He had nearly forgotten how perfectly your curves fit against him after all this time. He was determined to memorize every mountain and valley of you by the night's end.

His hands grip your thighs and he stands. Your arms automatically wind around his neck to keep from falling. He carries you to the kitchen and sets you on the edge of the island, never breaking the kiss. Nothing mattered outside of this apartment; not his career, not any baseless gossip, nothing existed beyond the space where your skin met his.

Pierre pulls back long enough to remove his shirt. Your fingers dance over his skin, relearning the planes of his chest like you had all the time in the world. And you did; he would stay here as long as you let him, reveling in the way you drank up every inch of his body like it was the first time you’d seen it.

“I love you,” you say as he kisses along your jaw.

How many times had he dreamt of you whispering that to him the past four months? How many times had it echoed in his head before a race, taunting him? He could scarcely believe his mind wasn’t playing more tricks on him now. He had to be certain it was real.

“Say it again,” he breathes. “Please. Please, tell me again.”

“I love you,” you repeat, punctuating each word with a kiss. “I love you Pierre, my champion, my heart, my everything.”

Pierre groans against your mouth, knotting his fingers in your hair and tugging your head back to expose your throat. He nips at the soft skin, not caring that he was leaving a trail of tiny marks in his wake. His focus was entirely on the gasps he was dragging from you with each touch, your heels digging into his ass and begging for him to be closer.

"My sweet, kindhearted man," you continue breathlessly. He didn't know if the words were for your benefit or his. "My best friend. My one and only love."

In that moment, you could ask him to bring you a star from the midnight sky and he wouldn't stop until he found a way to make it happen. You could ask for his last dollar and he would hand it to you with a smile on his face, completely enthralled with the way his name sounds on your tongue, professing that you still wanted him as much as he wanted you.

You were his undoing.

“Off,” he growls, tugging at your sweatshirt. You obey instantly and fling it aside, neither of you caring when dishes clatter to the tile floor and undoubtedly break. Your jeans follow suit after he helps you slip out of them. He runs his fingers over the delicate black lace of your bra and panties and pauses to appreciate that you knew exactly where the night would lead.

His cock twitches as you reach between your bodies to run a knuckle over his clothed length. “Your turn.” You undo the button with practiced ease, taking your sweet time as his breath comes in ragged gasps. He’d had a taste of you and hadn’t forgotten how you’d felt around him. He needed you more than he needed the air he breathed, his desperation taking over as he swats your hand aside and strips off his jeans and boxers himself.

He drops to his knees and grips your thighs, pulling you forward until your center is inches from his face. The yelp that escapes you is intoxicating, your hands flying back to catch yourself. His teeth sink none too gently into the flesh of your thigh and he’s rewarded with a moan before he flicks his tongue over the hurt.

Your head falls back and Pierre places one of your legs over his shoulder. “Mon amour,” he purrs, garnering your attention. Your head lolls forward and he waits until you meet his gaze to speak again. “You know I love you, right?”

“I never doubted it,” you confirm, lips curling in a smile. “But why don’t you prove it to me again?”

He pulls your panties aside and blows lightly. You groan, thighs tensing under his fingers as your toes curl and he chuckles. “Sounds like a challenge.”

“Do you really want to tease me?”

“What I want,” he says sharply, “is to have you moaning my name until it's the only word you know.” His tongue flicks out to dance over your thigh, dangerously close to where he knows you want him. “What I want is to make up for lost time.” He rips through the thin lace of your panties and lets the ruined scraps fall to the floor.

“Those were expensive.”

“I’ll buy you new ones.”

He would buy you an entire lingerie store if he could rip every set of it off you. He didn’t care how much it costed, it was never too much when it came to you.

“What I want most, my love,” he murmurs, smiling when his hot breath curls over your dripping cunt and you squirm, “is to forget everything else and stay here forever.”

You cry out when his tongue finally flicks through your folds. Pierre hums approvingly at your reaction, one arm snaking up to pin your hips in place. He sucks lightly at your clit and your fingers tangle in his hair.

“P-Pierre,” you breathe. He pulls back and you whine at the loss of contact. He grins up at you, the wickedness of it dragging the moan from your lips that he was after. He was drunk on the sound, desperate to hear it again and again.

“There’s my good girl.” He runs his tongue flat over your sex, savoring the taste as you squirm under him. You let out a choked noise when he repeats the motion before fucking you with his tongue, his nose hitting your clit with each stroke.

He doesn’t miss the way your lip wobbles and Pierre knows you’re ready to cry with frustration. He decides he’s tortured you enough for now and relents, putting two fingers in his mouth to wet them before plunging them inside you.

His mouth is spelling his name on your clit a moment later, your walls already clamping down on his fingers as your orgasm nears. In the handful of times he’d taken you to bed, he had already learned that when your head rolls back like that and your breathing stops, you’re seconds away from climaxing. He doesn’t let up until you’re shaking beneath him, finally slowing to work you through your orgasm without making you hypersensitive.

“Baby,” you groan breathlessly. Pierre slowly withdraws his fingers and wipes them on his thigh before pressing a final, tender kiss to your center that makes you jump.

“Use my name,” he demands, uncoiling to his full height. He grips your wrist and hauls your boneless body up, wrapping his other arm around your shoulders to keep you upright.

“Pierre,” you murmur and he grinds his hips against you in approval. He captures your mouth with his, taking advantage of your hazy mind to lazily explore it. 

You hum into the kiss, managing to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. Suddenly the column of your neck is all he can think about and he wraps a hand around it, squeezing with enough force that you pull back with a gasp.

“Too much?” He murmurs, lessening his grip. Your brows knit together and your lower lips juts out, begging for him to take it between his teeth. He leans in and gives in to the impulse as he swipes his thumb under your jaw.

“Tell me if you want my hand on your throat, my love. I need to hear you say it.”

“Please,” you say finally. Your eyes are cloudy when they meet his. “Keep it there.”

He shows his approval in the form of a light squeeze. You angle your hips up, nudging his cock with your center. You reach a hand down to wrap around his shaft and drag the head through your folds, teasing him as he had done to you. The grip on your throat tightens to a point bordering blissfully between pain and pleasure, both a warning and an order to continue. 

If you knew how close he was to flipping you on your stomach and slamming into you, you’d call him crazy. Or maybe you’d like it, judging by the way your head falls back as he rocks his hips and inches into you.

You both moan when he decides the time for restraint has passed and he slams into you. You lift your hips to meet his with every thrust, clearly missing this just as much as he had. God, he’d lost months of fucking you, of feeling you clench around him and writhe beneath him. If he could stay like this forever he would, his hand around your neck and cock splitting you open as he laps up your moans like sweet candy.

“I’m- Pierre,” you squeak out, and he knows you’re barreling towards your second orgasm of the night. He pulls you up by your neck until you’re eye to eye and forced to look at him.

“Come for me,” he whispers, slamming into you again and again. “Come on my cock mon amour and I might just cum inside you.”

His words are your undoing, pleasure rippling from you in waves as your mouth falls open in a silent plea. He grants you no clemency as your cunt twitches around him, instead following through on his promise and following your lead.

You pants mix with his own as he struggles to keep both of you upright, his knees turned to jelly. Your head rests on his shoulder and he presses a kiss to your temple, slowly pulling out of you. A pitiful whimper escapes your throat involuntarily.

“I know,” Pierre murmurs, reaching over to start the kitchen sink. He wets a clean cloth and runs it between your legs, still supporting you as he doesn’t trust that your legs won't give out if he doesn’t. When it’s clear you can barely form a coherent thought, he scoops you in his arms and carries you to your room. He nudges the bathroom door open with his hip and sets you on the vanity.

The absence of his body heat makes you shiver when he goes to turn on the shower, adjusting the knobs until he’s satisfied with the temperature. He gathers you in his arms and steps into the tub, your sigh audible as the warm water hits your skin.

“Can you stand?” he murmurs before kissing your temple. You nod against his chest and he sets you down, keeping his hands on your waist just in case. You’re thankful for it when your knees wobble, a hand flying out to steady yourself.

“I’m okay,” you say after a beat and grin up at him. “I can stand, promise.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m taking my hands off you,” he says, grinning right back. “At least not for long.” He reaches over your shoulder for the shampoo and gestures for you to turn around. You obey, tipping your head back to wet your hair. A blissful sigh escapes you when his fingers meet your scalp, the cherry blossom scent blooming in the air as he works it into a lather.

Taking care of you was just as satisfying as the sex was. He cherished the intimacy of taking this small burden from your shoulders. The seemingly simple task was one of deep seated trust and it proved to him that your love ran bone deep. There was a level of trust in you letting him wash you that he didn't want to have with anyone else. It was reserved for you and you alone.

“Close your eyes,” he warns before guiding your head back under the water for a rinse. He cups a hand to your forehead to keep the soap from your eyes. Your smile is soft but unrestrained as you lean further into him until your back is pressed to his chest.

You both stay silent as he runs the creamy conditioner through the ends of your hair. His hand cups your jaw and tips your head back for a lazy kiss before he rinses that too and cuts the tap.

Once you're wrapped in a fuzzy white towel he finally dries himself off, fighting off a chill. He doesn't realize you're watching him until he turns around and notices you standing in the doorway.

"What?"

You push off the wall and pad back to where he stands to wrap your arms around his middle. His thumb traces patterns on your shoulder, perfectly content to stand there dripping on the tile until morning. 

When it's clear you're lost in thought he speaks up. "What's on your mind?"

"When did you know you loved me?"

"Like the exact moment?" He asks, caught off guard. You nod against his chest.

"When you visited me in Milan last summer," he says a few heartbeats later. That night insisted on making guacamole at two in the morning and woke me up because you couldn't find a lime. You told me you couldn't sleep because it was all you could think about after you saw that couple at the cafe eating it."

"Why then?"

"Because I knew I didn't have a lime but I was fully prepared to knock on every door in the building to find you one. Because in that moment all that mattered was seeing your face light up when I handed it to you and knowing that it was me that made you smile like that. I knew then that I’d do anything for you."

It still amazed him how a lime of all things was the tipping point. In that moment, a lime was important to you and it so naturally became important to him. If anyone else had woken him from his deep sleep he would have grumbled and told them off. But you, seeing your face inches from his, the light from the hall casting a warm halo around your frame as you whispered his name, he hadn’t cared at all.

"But then I found the juice in the fridge," you recall and glance up at him.

"Yeah, you did. And you felt so bad for waking me up- you had no idea that I had already fallen so hard that I had to keep myself from shutting you up with a kiss.”

The easy admission seems to stir something in you and you rise up on your tiptoes to press your lips to his. “I knew that time you sent food to my dorm at midnight when I was pulling an all nighter. I was studying for my calculus final, remember?”

Pierre nods. “I was in Barcelona. You weren’t answering your phone so I sent a message with the takeout guy.” He had been wholly enamored with you at that point, having quickly learned that trying to keep his feelings buried deep was an option that would never work. So he leaned into it, letting little bits of it shine through in hopes that you might pick up on it.

Your laugh rumbles through him. “It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me. I hadn’t eaten all day. I was too nervous.”

“Took us long enough to figure it out didn’t it?” He untangles himself from you and leads you to bed.

“I’m just glad we did eventually.” You let him guide you to the mattress while he stays standing and goes to your closet. He hunts for the shirt he wants to see you in, praying you hadn’t gotten rid of it. He finally finds it tucked back in the corner and pulls it out, the cobalt blue fabric a little faded from how often you’d worn it over the years.

“I remember that,” you say softly as he returns with it and slips it over your head. 

It was the first shirt he had ever gotten upon entering Formula 1 and somehow you had wound up snagging it from his closet while he cleaned up the mess in the kitchen during that same trip to Milan. He had choked on his guac when you reappeared wearing it, eyes lingering on the Torro Rosso logo on the chest and his name splayed across your back like a claiming.

"I don't have sweatpants for you anymore," you point out with an apologetic wince. "I got rid of them."

Pierre just shrugs and hands you the shirt. "I have a change of clothes in my backpack. I was planning on working out to blow off some steam if…"

He trails off and you nod in silent acknowledgement. He didn’t have to voice the thought, you were already in his head and knew exactly what he meant. Unable to help himself, he kisses your head just because he can before retrieving his bag from the kitchen. "I have something for you," he says and lets the towel around his waist drop.

You let out a low whistle and grin at him as your eyes slide over every inch of his body. He takes more time than necessary to pull out his shorts, appreciating your gaze. You're still watching him as he slips them on and brings his bag to you.

"Do you wanna see what I got you or are you gonna stare at me all night?"

"I think I'll stare."

Pierre rolls his eyes and chuckles, plopping down next to you. "Close your eyes and hold out your hands."

You do as he asks but not before cocking a brow at him. Knowing the sound of the package will give it away, he does his best to draw out the first item as quietly as he can. The second he sets it in your hands a smile splits your face. He'd tear down the energy station with his bare hands to keep that expression on your face.

"It's candy." Your eyes open and you gasp. "Laffy taffy? But you can only get this-"

"In the states," He finishes. “I got as much as the store had.” The chewy, fruity candy was your absolute favorite and every once in a while you craved it. His backpack was currently stuffed full of it and various other packages of sweets, having been collected at every gp he had been to since Austin.

You tear into the package and dig for a pink one. You hold it out to him triumphantly and somehow, it’s that simple gesture that makes him melt. “You like the strawberry ones don’t you?”

“Yes baby, I do.” He lets you pop the sweet in his mouth - Pyry would certainly not approve- and grins at you. “If you eat too many before bed you won’t be able to sleep.”

“It’s still early,” you point out but don’t hesitate to set the sweets aside and cuddle up to him when he lays back. “Got somewhere to be?”

“I have to be at Milton by eight,” he says, wrapping an arm around your middle. “But you’re coming with me.”

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