#and it isn't that life isn't worth it without him
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mymegrokosmos · 3 days ago
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cheol bf brainrot that no one asked for bc smth a friend sent me sparked a thought tonight so thank k👑 for this one.
I am so sane and normal about this, yup.
seungcheol insists on carrying everything for you. From your purse to your amazon order and even the groceries. Why would you need to handle silly tasks like struggling up to your apartment with big boxes when he's there to do the heavy lifting for you?
On top of being his passenger princess one of the things you took a while to come to a compromise with in your relationship was being taken care of. Letting him do things for you without feeling like you're taking advantage. He insists he does these things for you because he likes to, that it makes him feel better to know you're eating good meals and that he likes when you take over the aux from the passenger seat or talk him through your day while he drives home after work with you on speaker phone.
At first it made you uncomfortable being so pampered all the time. You quickly came to learn the seungcheol's love language is acts of service. Doing these things for you like ordering you dinner when he can't be there to take you out, or picking you up after a night out with your friends when you lose track of time and miss the last bus. So when you eventually start taking joint trips to the grocery store, it's no surprise that you don't get to lift a single finger.
Pushing the cart? He's got it. Reaching the things on shelves too high for you? He's already asking how many you need. Getting your dairy products from the cold freezer section? You stand watch over the cart and stay warm while he picks out the exact brands and flavours he knows are your favourites. And, of course, he insists on carrying the bags back out to the car. You can take a couple of the lightest ones but only because you sulked about it. He insists that he needs you to have one hand free for the keys so you can pop the trunk for him but you both know that's just an excuse to save your pride.
He pouted when you even brought up the possibility of helping so here you are, watching him load the bags while you wonder what good deed you did in your past life to have earned a partner so full of care and genuine love for everyone in his life. It's also just a little bit unfair how handsome he looks in track pants, a plain t-shirt, oversized hoodie and baseball cap perched backwards on his head. He pauses to lift it when he finishes, running a hand through the dark mop of hair that just seems to keep getting longer every time you blink.
"Hey, honey?"
He comes over to see what you need. "Yes jagi?"
The crease in his brows only serves to endear you further. You don't answer right away, too distracted by your fond musings, and it deepens. He taps your cheek gently. You snap out of your thoughts. He looks concerned.
"Everything okay baby?"
You nod. One hand comes up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing over one half of the set of dimples that just make you want to eat him. He leans into your touch, smiling softly, but doesn't take his eyes from yours.
"You sure?"
You smile. "Yeah. I'm good."
Instead of explaining you just lean up, pressing a kiss to the cheek not currently nuzzling against your palm. He kisses your hand.
"Thank you Cheollie."
"For what?"
"For always being such a gentleman."
He blinks. You know it's just second nature to him. He doesn't think twice about the way he does these things. That doesn't make them any less meaningful or appreciated.
You take advantage of his confusion to plant a kiss on him. He just stares at you when you pull back. Your hand slides down to rest on his chest and that seems to snap him back into action. He pulls you in, one hand on your waist, and blinks at you.
"Baby?"
"Yes Cheol?"
"Do that again." You quirk a brow at him. "Please."
His smile when you pull away, much more slowly and reluctantly this time, is worth it. He isn't even looking when he tugs you a few steps back with him, out of the way of the small car pulling out of the parking spot beside you. When you blink up at him he's still grinning. He holds out a hand for the keys, not letting you go as he gets the passenger door and helps you in.
"Let's go home."
"Mhm."
The smile on his face didn't falter the whole way home. Neither did the hand on your thigh, fingers laced with yours even as he pulled into the parking garage under your building.
Needless to say, you now reward him with kisses all the time. It's the one response to spoiling you that he can't complain about.
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dreamingsnowflake2013 · 3 days ago
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As his evil alter ego fixes his gaze on him and tries to tempt him to the dark side, to give up on himself, because this is a seduction and mental manipulation to convince him all his struggles and efforts are hopeless and in vain, his fate inevitable, ZYZ never once looks at him, only through him, HE ESCAPES INTO HIS DREAM, where he finds refuge. He only sees his dreams and loses himself in it. A dream of mundane, ordinary life with Wen Xiao, it's a sanctuary inside his heart. It' a fantasy of a future either impossible or a mayfly one he can only enjoy for a few days because deep down he knows he can't escape his death - he made sure of it with the promise he got from ZYC.
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But even those few days, that fleeting dream, are worth it and shine like bright stars in the vastness of his life. It's similar to Miss Qi and Qing Geng - a dream becomes their reality.
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Despite the fire literally burning him from within, consuming him, tormenting him both physically and mentally, despite all the despair and desolation he's suffered, ZYZ still hopes against hope and there is only peace and calm in his dream, a dream where he isn't tainted, where there is no suffering, no pain, just happiness.
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His wish is to see his friends/family happy, he only dares to dream about his own future happiness.
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This is a literal and metaphorical battle between good and evil in his heart, which he fights with his kindness, love and hope; and even his evil alter ago gets rattled and mesmerised for a second and falls under the spell of his beautiful dream. ZYZ wants and desires so much, yet without any obsession.
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The most tragic thing is that he can only watch it from afar, his dream being so close, within his reach, but elusive. He can only watch and drink it in from afar, never live it.
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the-monkey-ruler · 3 days ago
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If you were given the opportunity to adapt "Journey to the West" into a movie, how would you adapt it? (No necesariamente tiene que ser el libro completo, puede ser un capítulo en particular o lo que quieras).
Oooo I actually thought about this before! It was a while ago but it was so much fun to think! I will say would would do a full-on adaptation with every single arc with every arc counting!
Again I would love it to be 2D with that stretch kind of animation, I think that allowing it to be more stylized would allow designs to be more creative and expressive overall. I would also say to make it more “adult” in that there is blood and death, similar to how Samurai Jack or Lupin the 111 Part 5 is treated with being watched for a younger audience but like in no way is it just for kids either or holds back on the violence.
I would still love it to be a completely character-driven series spanning 14 years, with explored relationships and realistic development. I would still lean into a comedic tone, but still balance serious elements, with the characters treating even the most serious situations with a sense of humor. I would love to see them face challenges and lose the battle not because they are weak but rather because of their lack of cooperation. They start off as dysfunctional and at odds with each other but as the journey continues we see all five pilgrims learn how to work together and become a team. Despite initial disagreements, they eventually come together to overcome their foes, recognizing the importance of relying on each other. Very found family trope which I eat up like candy. Also a like of highlighting quiet moments between scenes, such as cooking and cleaning camp sights, and filler episodes focusing on flashbacks of characters like Bajie, Wujing, and Bailong, who feel depressed and lose their sense of self due to their new positions. I would love to show each season changing cause this is FOURTEEN YEARS and how that could be shown with changing seasons in the background.
Would still love entire character arcs for each character. Bajie once being a Marshall instead becomes a lazy pig on earth and falls into a state of depression and acts on whim, seeking fleeting joy. Throughout his journey, he proves he is a capable fighter and starts caring for others and despite being a jerk, Bajie cares in his own rough way and starts showing that while he isn't perfect he always tries to get better. Wujing, initially soft-spoken and quick to rage, initially avoids speaking due to his fear of being blamed for a single mistake. However, as he sees his brothers' loudness and brashness, he starts to see that he isn't judged for every mistake. He learns that ribbing isn't punishment, and he can relax around new people who are also screw-ups. This experience helps Wujing build self-confidence and stand up for himself without being a doormat to others. BaiLong starts off as a standoff member who doesn't speak much but he is still expressive and aggressive, like in that horse in Tangled. He sees himself as responsible for keeping Sanzang safe and is often in guard dog mode. Despite lacking scales or horns, BaiLong is treated like a brother and the pilgrims provide him with support he never got from his bio family. He is not a trained soldier but he comes to see himself as part of the group as they all have their strengths and weaknesses.
I would like Sanzang to be seen as inexperienced in the real world. He has lived in a monastery his entire life but is sheltered from other kingdoms. Sanzang sees corruption in the palace and is given a sign by Gaunyin to make a real change without politics or face-saving. The story should follow Xuanzang's Pilgrimage, where Sanzang sneaks out of Tang without the Emperor's approval, finding it worth it. But he is arrogant and believes he has everything figured out because he got to the highest level of monk in his kingdom quickly. When he meets his new disciples, he is forced to see how people with different paths of life than him have different points of view and how this challenges his own thinking. He starts to be humbled and starts to learn just as much from his disciples as they learn from him. Would love to explore Sanzang's emotional disconnect from his family trauma, including his father's resurrection and mother's suicide. Despite kidnappings, he becomes more open with his journeymates, demonstrating empathy for the stress of new responsibilities. Also, a physical transformation from his 20s to his 40s would be a concise choice as he would be the only mortal in the group, showcasing his growth and transformation throughout his journey.
But of course, I would have Wukong completely leaning into his ex-warlord persona, characterized by arrogance, cockiness, and a tendency to threaten with violence. He is charming, charismatic, and funniest, giving people a chance to walk away. His expressive and cartoonish reactions showcase his range of emotions. However, Wukong's excess of power harms the environment and people around him, leading Sanzang to push for less violent means. The use of 2D animation would showcase Wukong's creativity and innovation, capturing the audience's imagination and understanding of his power. Wukong's strength is evident in his diverse powers, but he needs to be more considerate and rely on Bajie and Wujing for protection. He learns how to acknowledge them as equals and recognizes that being the strongest person doesn't automatically make him right. In a long-running series, Wukong should gradually come to understand that he has a team and a different brotherhood compared to his past. This would be particularly interesting in the Demon Bull King episode. Wukong realizes he also was kinda sheltered in his own world, as he was surrounded by more yes-men than equals. His past brotherhood allowed him to demonstrate destructive behavior, leading to a spiral of self-sabotage. Wukong focuses on growing empathy for others, a skill that is difficult to learn. He struggles physically, mentally, and emotionally in situations, questioning his decisions. This constant battle with himself is particularly evident during a pilgrimage, where he must become dedicated to his mission and become a deity.
Wukong realizes that his power doesn't make him superior, and he needs humility, also parading Sanzang's own journey. He acknowledges that his teammates, including Bajie, Wujing, Sanzang, and BaiLong, have something to offer, even if it's not immediate strength. He starts to accept his limitations and recognizes that others can do what he can't. He hasn't realized his faults and is starting to rely on others, especially in a new group that sees him as a fellow Pilgrim. This newfound equality allows him to see himself as just like anyone else, trying his best. I would love a focus on the interaction between the five characters to maintain balance. More scenes where the initial gruff attitude changes over time, affecting the entire group or the group as a whole. This approach may seem extreme, but they believe it would be suitable for the show.
BUT AS FOR ARCS
General Yin 寅將軍- 1st Month. The first demon we see against Sanzang, would love to see Sanzang having to see his two guards sacrificing themselves for him and how that guilt carries with him for the rest of the journey. Also maybe adding a connection with Sanzang and a fear of Tigers for late down with Wukong being connected to Tigers and Sanzang being turned into a Tiger
Sanzang found Wukong right after maybe a 2nd Month. Really enjoy the idea that Sanzang chooses to help Wukong without knowing that he is disciple but just cause he trusted Wukong when he said he needed help. A clear sign of his naive nature but also how Wukong relied on that nature to save himself in the first place.
I think they get Bailong much later, maybe in the 4th or 5th month. Would love to see how Wukong and Sanzang interact on their own but also to have Bailong join to showcase Wukong's power. Would also love Sanzang poking a lil fun at Wukong saying that he could defeat dragons but he can't this one.
Jinchi Elder 金池长老 - 6th Month. would love to see how this would highlight Wukong's initial bloodlust and how he chooses to escalate situations to harm others. He didn't have to burn down a whole monetary down but he did because he WANTED to.
Black Wind King 黑風怪 - 6th Month. Same with how Wukong sees another Yao in the same situation as him with the headband and how even someone EXACTLY in the same situation as him and he still thinks Black Wind should die and how this could be a lesson in how he needs to learn to empathize. He was given mercy to try again and how so should other yao as well.
They find Bajie about 8 Months into the journey. I like to think that Wukong and Sanzang had a lot of time to themselves and that the change in the dynamics with Bajie.
Yellow Wind Demon 黃風怪 - 9 Month. This first Wukong ever gets HURT like he is BLIND. He never relied on someone before and now he has to trust Bajie the man he just fought in the last arc. It is kinda a moment he really gets scared and also Bajie shows the first signs that he does care enough not to leave Wukong for dead.
Wujing is picked up around the 11th month, nearly a year into the journey for Wukong and Sanzang but they get him after a huge miscommunication.
Great Zhenyuan Immortal 鎮元大仙 - 1st Year. First group crime together. Kinda Wukong wanted to rebel but also tried to connect with Bajie and Wujing similar to how he did with his brotherhood. He has to see that the dynamics aren't the same and struggle with seeing them as 'equals' rather than 'underlings. Would also love Zhenyaun bringing up his friendship with the Golden Cicida a lot more and how Sanzang feels about his past reincarnations.
White Bone Demon 白骨精 - 1.5 Year. CHANGE IN MORALS. Sanzang rather than fighting for not believe Wukong that White Bone Demon isn't a demon, he is more arguing that she hasn't hurt them and that Wukong shouldn't hurt anyone, human or yao, for what they MIGHT do. And Wukong KNOWS she is about to do something considering that up to this point, Wukong has killed more humans than demons on the journey Sanzang has his doubts. Bajie also acted on this point as more trying to get back at Wukong for the Fake-Gao situation but didn't think this would lead to banishment. Wukong tries and succeeds in resurrecting his home and sees that one of his past sworn brothers the Jaio Demon King sacrificed himself to keep his monkeys safe.
Yellow Robe Demon 黃袍怪 - 1.5 Year. The main change is that the wife does love Yellow Robe but also knows he is in the wrong and wants to go back to her family, also her kids don't die from the 2010 series. A lot of Bajie has to humble himself and see that he can't do this alone either and how Bailong and Wujing are gone. Sanzang is turned into a tiger but also him being hunted by humans. He sees what it's like to not be believed when Yellow Robe changes him and how this affects him greatly on the journey. Would love a reunion with Sanzang acknowledging that he shouldn't have sent Wukong away but he can't give up the idea that one should see the best in people and how he should have seen that in Wukong too.
Golden Horned King 金角大王 and Silver Horned King 銀角大王- 2nd Year. the first time the gang is back together and things are still tense but Wukong trying to lighten the mood while Sanzang trying to have a 'serious talk' all while demons are trying to capture him. Kinda more light-hearted but genuine trying is seen. Kinda like it just increases with how it goes from the Horned Kings, to their Mother, and then to the Great Fox King and it just escalates more and more to parallel how Wukong would rather just keep running from the Talk than sit down and talk to Sanzang until the end.
Lion-Lynx Demon 獅猁怪 - 2.5 Year. The fake Sanzang arc but also Wukong asking the fillet to be used to see who is real. Kinda a big show of trust but also a slow understanding of Sanzang and Wukong in how similar they are in their dedication, and willingness to put themselves in pain for each other. Also Wukong being outed as never eating humans cause he has healing powers and Wujing and Bajie poking fun at him for lying.
Red Boy 紅孩兒 - 3rd Year. Wukong OVERJOYED seeing a connection to his past. He thought that he could be an uncle to Red Boy but became heartbroken when he found out he was never mentioned to the kid and in fact he never heard of Bull King's Brotherhood, like it never existed. Makes Wukong have to reevaluate his past friendships and whether he cares more about them than they care about him. E.I. he was more used for protection than pure friendship. Asks Guanyin to show the kid mercy and Red Boy gets to be friends with Longnu and Muzha. Wukong still wants to have a connection with Red Boy but he more upset that he sees so much in himself in Red Boy, acting like his actions don't have consequences. Also love the Bajie/Wujing saving Wukong scene with Bajie giving him CPR and refusing to think someone like Wukong would die like that.
Black River Demon 鼉龍 - 3.5 Year. BAILONG ARC! I need Bailong fighting his cousin since this was more of a Wujing arc. But just how Bailong's own older brother comes to arrest the Black River Demon and we see how cold his family treats Bailong, pretending he is not even there, and how the pilgrims make an effort to show how they appreciate Bailong like his bio family never could. I would like to think Wujing conforming to him as this was originally more his arc since he was fighting underwater but more Wujing stepping up as the brother that Bailong never had.
Tiger Strength Great Immortal 虎力大仙, Elk Strength Great Immortal 鹿力大仙, and Antelope Strength Great Immortal 羊力大仙 - 4th Year. MY FAVORITE arc. Pure comedy just Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing coming together for the first time to bully/heckle another group of three together. Nothing brings people together like a common enemy and these three make sure to win every challenge with over-the-top enthusiasm. Makes Sanzang learn how to unwind a bit and come to laugh along with the hijinks. But really just need these three to have a great time committing crimes and Sanzang being non the wiser like "my pilgrims would never." Oh they would.
Spiritual Touch 靈感大王 - 4.5 Year. A more quiet episode of Sanzang seeing a village with his family name, maybe a Sanzang flashback to his mother's death and how he couldn't connect with his father. Sanzang wanted a family so bad but even when he got them back he couldn't make up for years of growing up without them and that he feel more close with Fa Ming as his caretaker. Also, Bajie trying to help with his perfect joke "Sink To The Bottom" and how he used to be a Water god. This would be a great time to have a flashback to Bajie's human past and he misses being a deity and how useless he feels in his new body. Heavy on the backstory and less on the demon.
Single Horned Rhinoceros King 獨角兕大王 - 5th Year. Bajie THOUGHT he was HELPING cause Sanzang was freezing by leaving the circle. I would love to see Wukong REALLY struggling as he loses to this guy at least five times, almost having a mental breakdown cause he even loses entire armies, heavenly armies that trusted him, and how he flashbacks to losing his monkeys against heaven. Takes a lot out of him and in the end he sees it is that the Rhino King does have the SAME weapon the Diamon snare that defeated him in the first place.
Ruler of Women's Country 女兒國國王 and Scorpion Demon 蠍子精 - 5.5 Year. I am not a fan of this being seen as a romance but more a Queen abusing her power to trap someone against their will. Poor Sanzang has been kidnapped by demons before but this is his first time being kidnapped by a human and he has to fight himself with how humans can commit horrid deeds as well which changes his worldview. Bajie, Wujing, and Wukong really become protective as women keep trying to harness Sanzang. Would love to see Wujing getting more confident and maybe touching on his own backstory at this point. Almost I'm a fan of 1996 Bajie where he is more of a romantic and he feels uncomfortable being seen as "just a piece of meat" when the women want them just because they are men.
Six Eared Macaque 六耳獼猴 - 6th Year (perfect for this being nearly the halfway point in the journey to show the balance starting to change) Kinda seeing Wukong regress to his more violent tendencies due to the Queen in the previous arc. Kills bandits without mercy and shows them proudly to Sanzang cause "humans can be evil as well" and Sanzang still wants to hold on that anyone can change for the better. Wukong on the other hand still stands that if people don't want to change then they shouldn't be given the choice. This leads to the banishment BUT THEN Wukong being FORCED to face a version of himself that never wanted to change as well. Would he still go on the journey for the wrong reasons? Would he have lost all his empathy for even his own monkeys? Did the Six Ears deserve mercy like he was once given? A lot of self-reflecting on Wukong's part on what it means to forgive others but also to forgive yourself and I think the REAL turning point in Wukong's character development from someone forced on the journey to someone who wants to be there for his own sake. Sanzang and he might never see eye to eye but Sanzang starts to realize while he can see the best in others he can't be naive to the point of putting himself in danger and Wukong starts to accept that others deserve mercy like he was given as well.
Princess Iron Fan 鐵扇公主 and Bull Demon King 牛魔王 - 6.5 Year. HUGE ARC. The first arc which Wukong really comes to terms with his own changes as a person from a warlord to a pilgrim. Another this is about seven years into the journey as well. Wukong thought he could visit an old friend but Iron Fan is pissed as him and Wukong went to see Bull King himself but sees that it is very one-sided. Bull King USED to be a genuine friend but has moved on and had a family, seeing Wukong only as someone that he used to know and Wukong has to face that he lost a dear friend not by death but because they are two different people that have grown apart. Bajie and Wujing really step up to give Wukong backup, both in a fight but also in emotional support as while they don't know Wukong's old friends they want to show their support by being his friends now. Wukong used to be alone but he isn't anymore. Wukong mourns the loss of their friendship and asks Nezha to go easy on him. Iron Fan herself moves on to work on her own cultivation but ends on a small friendship between Wukong and Iron Fan.
Wansheng Princess 萬聖公主 and Nine-Headed Demon 九頭蟲 - 7th Year. Another huge Bailong arc and how he had his falling out with his family. I do enjoy the 1987 take that Bailong's fiance left him for the Nine Headed Demon and think this is another way that the pilgrims can be there for him as they fight the demons. Wansheng tries to get back on Bailong's side when she sees Nine Heads is losing but Bailong respects himself enough now to reject her and go back to his new friends who were there for him. Would also love Erlang and Wukong to have a moment to talk about how Erlang spared his family instead of doing the Nine Generations Punishment and how he is thankful hence why they are sworn brothers. I adore Erlang and Wukong's similarities and how Wukong is still going to do what HE wants but he is aware that he is trying to find out what truly needs now in his life.
The Tree Spirits - 7.5 Year. I really loved this as a quiet arc again with Sanzang just having a great time with Tree Spirits who kidnapped him who wanted to talk poetry. All the while Wujing, Bajie, Wujing, and Bailong are losing their shits trying to look for him. More comedic than anything and allows Sanzang to interact with yao that is not violent. Would like to keep out the end where they try to force Sanzang to get married and Wukong to kill them all again. Just that they get to escape and Wukong warns Sanzang that they could have killed him. But Sanzang reassures Wukong that he wasn't in danger, that people can be powerful but that doesn't make them bad and uses Wukong himself to make that point.
Yellow Brows Great King 黃眉大王 - 8th Year. Would love to see Yellow Brows kinda like how he is in Black Myth, someone delusional that he is right and deserves to be Buddha while running what is practically a cult. Still holds a grudge against the Golden Cicada and tries to take over the journey to one-up him. Makes Wukong kinda look at this guy and see a lil bit of himself, someone who always thought he was right and uses his might to enforce it. But Wukong knows that his own arrogance leads to his downfall.
Python Demon 蟒蛇精 - 8.3 Year. Just more of a joke demon, does not speak but they get to have hijinks trying to chase her and pin her down. Would love Bajie and Wukong trying to get her pinned down and leads to wukong being eaten and he has to grow to escape and just gets all over Bajie that he hates this part of the job.
Sai Tai Sui / Great King Jupiter's Rival 賽太歲 - 8.7 Year. huge on comedy, this is Wukong pretending to be a doctor, and Bajie, Wujing, and Bailong are being absolutely hilarious by playing along. Wukong actually has no idea what is wrong with the guy just finds out that he misses his wife and instead spends his time fucking around and seeing how much outrageous stuff he can get away with in the meantime. Also Wujing and Bajie being 'nurses' who just follow along to make the situation far more silly. They make this poor king eat medicine from dragon piss and snot the demon doesn't even really matter, just these four being bafoons.
Spider Demons 蜘蛛精 and Hundred-Eyed Demon Lord 百眼魔君 - 9th Year. Sanzang just trying to do something on his own to show that he isn't useless but of course leads to him being kidnapped. Kinda hits him hard how much he can't even get water/food by himself and hits his self-esteem. Would love to see Wukong kinda having another mental breakdown seeing his friends poisoned and how he really comes to care for them even to the point of panic. Kinda like the 1999 take where the sisters don't die in the end and Wukong spares them as long as they promise to change their ways after seeing how Hundred Eyes betrayed them.
Azure Lion 青毛獅子, Yellow Toothed Elephan t黃牙老象, and lden Winged Great Peng 金翅大鵬雕 - 9.5 Year. pure comedy. There are serious moments are this would be the first three-on-three since the Daoist arc but would love to see all of them fighting together side by side in a huge epic fight. These SHOULD be serious demons and they can be but this illusion is kinda shattered when Wukong first meets them by entering their army, lying about commands, going into their cave, and beating the crap out of Azure Lion from the inside out. Like Wikong defeats these guys practically single-handedly and Sanzang has to ASK Wukong to let them go. Sadly does lead to them coming back but does end with a big battle. Also, the Million Demon Kingdom that I love would to be fully explored.
White Deer Spirit 白鹿精 and White-Faced Vixen Spirit 白面狐狸精 - 10th Year. Another comedy as Wukong pretends to be Sanzang moments but would love to see how a yao family White Deer being an adopted father to White Fox and how she dies because of his plans. It would start more silly but gets serious when we really see how White Deer cared for his daughter but at the same point, they tried to kill like 10,000 babies so that would have been worse.
Lady Earth Flow 地涌夫人 - 10.5 Year. Big fan of the idea that Earth Flow was really in love with Sanzang due to his past life from the 2010 series. However, that love is one-sided and she is too blind to her own desires to see what he really wants. Really more exploring how Sanzang always feels overshadowed by the Golden Cicada but the pilgrims reassure him that he was chosen for who he is, not because he was someone else and how they are on this journey with Sanzang, not the Golden Cicada.
Ruler of the Kingdom of Miefa 滅法國 - 11th Year. Another good example of how humans can be horrible is that this king wants all monks to be killed. Treated with more humor as Wukong SHAVES the entire kingdom's heads but I do think that this would be a good point in which Sanzang can confront the king himself in how this king took out his rage on innocents and has reached a point where he understands misplacing rage. A good balance of how the King has to be accountable and also shows how Wukong is able to start solving issues without violence.
King of the Southern Hill 南山大王 - 11.5 Year. This one is a comedy arc but more tired with tragedy as well. The leopard demon here convinces Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing that Sanzang has died, leading to the three to have a funeral for Sanzang and cry over his body. Again leads to some good moments to show how the gang cares for each other but also cuts to Sanzang hoping that his friends come get him too. Kinda have a moment where the King thinks that once the pilgrims 'mourn' they will leave but they don't know about the 6 phase of grief REVENGE! Of course, all three of them try to kill the King for Sanzang but instead, this leads to the gang just being overjoyed that Sanzang is not dead. Also Wukong still 100% wanting to kill this leopard demon for tricking him.
Prefect of Phoenix-Immortal - 12th Year. This was a kinda a more dramatic arc where a kingdom insults the good on accident and how they are punished with drought. I am taking a lot from the 1987 series in how Wukong was insulted on behalf of the people, seeing that their punishment was unfit for the crime, and how his empathy has been able to grow for him to become seen as a hero for the people. Also would love to see how Wujing really related to the people and how his own punishment left him uncertain and insecure over himself but how he was able to overcome these challenges despite what he has become.
Tawny Lion Demon 黃獅精 and Grand Saint of Nine Spirits 九靈元聖 - 12.5 Year. This one was the most interesting as this wasn't one where Sanzang gets kidnapped but rather the weapons were taken. I would change that the lions don't have to die but rather more of a comedy arc of the Nine Spirits trying to ground up his grandkids when he had a good relationship with the neighboring kingdom. This is a good example of yao and humans able to live in together without conflict and how Nine Spirits fears that his grandkids have ruined this peace. And of course, Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing use silly stunts to try to get their shit back. Also touching more on the pilgrim's own disciples the three princes and maybe even giving them names. I would just like to think that these three princes do always keep their teachings to heart.
King of Cold Protection 辟寒大王, King of Heat Protection 辟暑大王, and King of Dust Protection辟塵大王 - 13th Year. This one is something where I would LOVE Sanzang just being done with being kidnapped. Like he is not phased. He even warns the three to let him go because it as been 14 years and he really doesn't want to end this with these poor guys getting their butts whooped by his overpowering disciples. Kinda comedy but really would enjoy a good battle three on three again.
Jade Rabbit 玉兔精 - 13.5 Year. this one plays more on the 1999 series where the Rabbit is clear she wants to do this cause she hates the real Princess. It is actually nothing personal against Sanzang but just HE HAPPENS to be the one she chooses to marry. More of a mystery of where the real princess is but the gang finds her to get the Jade Rabbit arrested and Sanzang can get free of a forced marriage again.
Squire Kou - 14th Year. This one I think is the perfect arc to really end on, paralleling the first 6 bandits that Wukong fought. He could have killed the family that imprisoned them, but instead, he uses his power to freeze the bandits, get them back, convince the family that their relative's ghost is haunting them, go to Hell to get his spirit back and save the day with hurting a single human. He does an entire arc using his varieties of powers, wit, and intelligence to get out of this, a vast difference from the pure fighting warlord he used to be. I think this would be an arc heavy in symbolism and references to the first bandits they fought and Sanang SEEING the change in Wukong.
Great White Turtle 大白龜 - Of course, they make it to the end but of course, there is one last thing. I think Sanzang lost his cool and had his own breakdown at 'ruining' the scriptures something he spent so long to get but the gang trying to tell him that people make mistakes and that doesn't define them. And that maybe an imperfect world needs imperfect scriptures more than perfect ones because people need to doubt and learn for themselves. Just like Sanzang did. In the end Xiyouji is a story of hope and I think that Sanzang sees that even if things ain't perfect that doesn't make them any less valuable or wonderful and how that sentiment is seen with the new family he has found.
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gaslightwestern · 3 days ago
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Hell's Half Acre
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Charlotte would be the first to admit hiding from the law behind a newspaper was an awful idea, what with her face and name spread across the front page.
When death comes to Fort Worth and strikes her new circle of friends, Charlotte O’Shea resolves to hunt down the culprit before they kill again. Murder isn’t the only mystery in the air however. Elijah Addison and Thomas Quinn, two headstrong cowboys and her partners-in-crime-solving, are determined to uncover what made the socialite run away from New York and why she is no stranger to firearms.
— Status: Drafting | Tag: #Hell's Half Acre — Genres: Historical Mystery, Western — Setting: Fort Worth, Texas & New York City (1874-1878). — POV: Multiple. 3rd Person. Past Tense. Dual Timeline.
Themes and Tropes: Love in all its forms. Anti-heroine. Found family. Being your own person. Organized crime. Queer cowboys. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions. Parallels. Obsession. Haunted by the past. Murder, mayhem, and other wild west shenanigans.
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Cast of Characters
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Can't a man visit his on-and-off-again boyfriend without all hell breaking loose? Not for Elijah Addison, a restless cowboy turned shrewd detective who becomes relentless in his pursuit of justice.
By his side is Thomas Quinn, who most write off as little more than a legend's son. Stubborn as anything and fiercely protective of his family and friends, he doesn't trust Charlotte in the slightest.
Sam Quinn is a three-time, war-hating, disabled veteran with a larger-than-life personality. A lifelong troublemaker, when he isn't sticking his nose where he shouldn't, Sam runs Quinn's Firearms.
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A seamstress and aspiring journalist, Mabel Williams is determined to expose the rot in New York City regardless of the enemies she gains along the way. Her talent for disguises often comes in handy.
Having grown up in the shadow of his brother, not being good enough has long haunted Warren Howard. But if life will not give him what he wants, he will take it for himself regardless of the cost.
Vivacious and self-absorbed, Charlotte O'Shea enjoys her place in New York's high society. Surrounded by friends and engaged to the wealthy Nathaniel Howard, her life is perfect. So why is Charlotte out west pretending to be someone she's not?
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Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist: @cirianne, @jacqueswriteblrlibrary, @oliolioxenfreewrites, @glbettwrites
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l-in-the-light · 2 days ago
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Chapter 1131 commentary
Finally the long break is over!! And no break next week :3 Let's start from the survey again, they're honestly quite fun to come up with :D
Now, let's move on to the chapter itself :D
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Luffy's so excited! And why? Because finally it's confirmed they're in Elbaf! Which means I was right, his excitement from before wasn't because he saw Elbaf (this is the reaction right here instead), it was because of the snow! :D
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Luffy is so excited and he's not even listening to Loki anymore, lol. Loki at first follows through, but soon he can't even sneak in a word anymore, haha. The manipulator having a hard time getting Luffy's attention. A moment later he snaps and scolds Luffy, I mean... for a master manipulator he's not overly patient or good at steering those conversations in direction he wants them to go...
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Hm, interesting how Loki treats humans. He clearly takes care of them, but thinks of himself as their master and requires they call and treat him this way. Reminds me of those thoughts I had in previous chapter commentaries, that for giant people normal humans will seem like toys, puppets or slaves. Though it is worth noting Loki seems to indeed take care of them properly, so maybe more puppets or underlings. I wonder why they wear gas masks... because of the putrid smell?
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Treasure Tree Adam confirmed!!! So it's actually not Yggdrasil!
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Seems Loki has the same issue as Luffy with remembering people's names, lolol. Loppy, can you imagine...
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The Realm of the Dead, lowest layer of Elbaf or also "the first world", where criminals and condemned are kept, a prison and execution ground. Where humans wander around as "walking corpses" (in clothes covered in "putrid smell", in blood from the deceased perhaps?), to disguise their presence to survive, otherwise they will get devoured by the beasts. They seem to be also servants (of the sun god?), they end up here by "defying Elbaf" or by trying to challenge it. It's indeed a lot like Rodo's detention centre roleplay model. Seems Luffy doesn't like the sound of it. Later in Hajrudin's scene we learn that it's also a hunting ground for the brave warriors (but who isn't brave in Elbaf, the land of war?).
It's worth noting that the accursed prince Loki apparently was held in this lowest layer since he was born (or soon after he was born). He says it himself: he friended the beasts because he knows them ever since he was a child. So the conclusion here is that he must have been kept in this underworld realm for most of his life? After all only those "who defy Elbaf, criminals and condemned" are living here. My hypothesis that he is called accursed because of some prophecy or mark he was born with, seems to line up with those pieces of information we got so far.
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I admit I'm impressed with Luffy. He actually did not attempt to free Loki, despite the fact he was so shocked that Loki was kept here for 6 years. He listens to him and stays with him, but doesn't agree to his ideas and doesn't even comment much. I'm proud of Luffy, Law would be proud too, Luffy is no longer causing random chaos without knowing more about the situation. Is Luffy finally growing up? 💔
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More lore. The World of the Dead belongs to the Sun, hm? Is that why Loki is kept here or is he calling himself a sun god as the result of becoming a master of this realm (by making everyone his underlings so now he is their god)? Interesting.
Also it's kinda rare to associate sun with underworld, not counting some indigenous beliefs of people from Amazon rainforest. I remember reading in anthropology books that sun can be linked with the realm of the dead, because everyday it makes a journey on the sky and finishes it in the underworld (then the night falls on the world). If you hop in on the sun god's carriage (it's actually a canoe swimming on the sky carried by two big birds), you can actually travel between the world of the living and the world of the dead. The god can be nice enough to transport back a lost human that ended up in the underworld because of grief and falling through one of the pekari pig's holes in the ground. But the human that is dead but returns back to the world of living will appear to humans like a regular pekari pig. Apparently after humans die they turn into pekari pigs and are kept in pens by the god of the underworld, who takes care of them. It's actually not clear which god it was. The myths refer to them as "master of the pigs". It might have been the sun god, or god of the underworld, or maybe it's one and the same being.
Amazonian myths are very interesting, but rarely ever referenced in modern fiction. I don't know if Oda is referencing it here, but the moment they called Sun the God of the Underworld, I instantly thought of that. I will be surprised if anyone in OP fandom even considered the possiblity that sun can be linked with the realm of the dead! Oh, it makes me have so many interesting thoughts and observations about the world of One Piece in general...
Also, nice worldbuilding intro to Elbaf. Seems Elbaf has "multiple" worlds, each located on it's own level of the tree Adam; it's very similar to the norse mythology realms that you can travel into by descending or ascending Yggdrasil :D
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Luffy already tamed those beasts, huh XD five beasts, a bear, a gorilla, a wolf (I think it's a wolf at least?), an elephant/mammoth and a snake. Snakes and gorillas often appear in important worldbuilding arcs of One Piece, somehow. I know the zoology of OP is often overlooked, but I feel like it will bite us in the ass before the end of the series.
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Because look at people's reactions every time Luffy tames the beasts easily. It's a really uncommon talent! It seems very important, maybe it's some special trait only passed down in Luffy's lineage? The picture Oda drew of child Garp taming some wild beast also comes to my mind... it might be a D. clan trait, or maybe it's just Luffy's lineage trait. Was Joyboy good with animals? :P I mean, that question just begs to be finally asked... at least minks and Zunesha have an important connection to Joyboy...
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I solemnly swear I'm up to no good, signed by Loki, lol. He said all this shit on purpose to provoke Luffy, but I dunno what his plan here actually was. If he realized that Luffy was so happy at the mention of Shanks, then calling Shanks names is not gonna get him what he wants from Luffy, quite the opposite really. And again, the triple dot of doom... We shall remember this moment, I guess.
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TCB is kinda failing with their translation a bit in this chapter. The last line is definitely spoken by Loki again, because it's another pissed off bubble, but they translated it like it was something said by a third party instead... The alternative translation also makes more sense: "if you can't move, then don't piss me off" as in "should you even provoke me if you can't fight back?" instead of the "whatever, I don't care" attitude. Makes more sense for Luffy's personality, he's not a "whatever" type of person. It was also a while since we last saw Luffy defending his friends like this :D
Loki doesn't seem to like Luffy very much, there goes the good first impression, haha. Already plans to kill him off in anger lol. (that will definitely not happen btw, he will 100% change his opinion on Luffy) Curiously enough Luffy seems to like him a bit, as long as he doesn't trashtalk Shanks.
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See? Now here it makes more sense. "I will tell you more about Shanks if you do something for me". The earlier "coward" approach was such a nonsense in comparison. Did Loki seriously just expect Luffy to sit there and listen to him trashtalking Shanks? For a master manipulator, Loki kinda falls a bit flat, ngl. People have already pointed it out that he seems more like Usopp-type, selling some lies to appear more important/respected than he actually is. That attitude might have the root in similar childhood: always staying on his own so telling talltales is his coping mechanism, just like it was for Usopp.
At this point we might question whether Loki will indeed bring any sort of end to the world or is it yet another lie (or perhaps he got banned to this underworld realm as the result of a prophecy told at his birth?). And he most definitely isn't a sun god, he just thinks he is because he considers himself the ruler of this lowest realm of Elbaf, which according to the beliefs is the realm of Sun God. So it's a natural conclusion: if he's on top of it then he is the sun god himself, right. But despite his name, he's not really a trickster or anything like that, Doflamingo would easily outclass him.
Also a moment of appreciation for cute blushy Luffy :D last time we saw his blushy cheeks from the cold was in Punk Hazard!
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Sunny spotted! It looks like a toy when Giants are carrying it, haha. Like a cool boat toy for kids. I can't with Zoro, always trying to cut up their problems, lol. Glad Usopp is the brain of the group.
I bet the Giants actually want to catch up to Strawhats to get them to safety, not to kidnap them again lol. Well, maybe except Rodo, he might want some payback 😂 though would he openly oppose Hajrudin, even if he refused to work under Strawhats? I'm not sure Rodo has it in him tbh, now that it's been exposed that he kept them hostage, lol. I wonder if he's now in trouble or what haha. Or maybe he lied and said he wanted to deliver them to the feast once they wake up but they escaped him instead lol.
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Random appreciation for Usopp the brave warrior getting over his fear of heights thanks to his fear of being chased by their captor :D
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Appreciation for their cute little song :D
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I wonder what's that all about? Sun stone? I guess I will have to wait for Japanese youtubers to address this, they might have something interesting to share.
I like how Hajrudin is still full of gratitude towards the Strawhats! Even preparing a feast for them. I have a feeling Giants really like to drink and have feasts all the time XD
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Woah, what a fun snake-like creature there in the sea!
Brook is cute with how anxious he is. I'm glad that finally he's around new people who are laughing at his skull jokes, because Strawhats are so used to it already that they just ignore Brook by now, heh.
Bonney's excitement :D Franky is suddenly becoming very nostalgic, no wonder, he met Robin at Water 7, his home, and they had that "adventure" at Enies Lobby together. (he really looks great in those clothes btw. Some people speculate his cowboy hat actually belongs to Robin and she borrowed it to him, I actually love that idea!)
Yet another triple dot of doom, this time coming from Robin hmmm.
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She looks cute indeed. Oda really highlighted this scene though, hm. her blush is adorable :D
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And another triple dot of doom. Third one already this chapter, and two from Robin alone. I wonder, is it time for callback to Water 7 finally? They even mentioned the events of that arc in this chapter, it feels like a build-up honestly. Are we finally getting the payoff from that arc?? Is it finally the time to share my Robin conspiracy theory with the world?! (yes, I do have one. I have it ever since I reread Water 7 for the third time. There are loose ends there and I think I know where Robin's story is going towards from now on. Hence why I'm so hmmmm over all those triple dots bubbles lol)
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Hm, TCB translated this as "he fell and can't get up" while other translation went with "he fell and he's not moving". Honestly the second one sounds waaay more dramatic. I mean, he might be just drunk, we saw Saul drinking while he was listening to Vegapunk's broadcast. But that would make this cliffhanger really lame, ngl XD
But IT IS very curious that we get this cliffhanger teaser here just before Robin and Saul can finally reunite, right?? I kinda want it to lead to some serious development, not a gag.
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Time to share the results of the previous survey! Technically, everything listed up there can *still* happen in the future, so I will keep it in mind to return to those results later as far, just to see how correct we all were, for the laughs and potential self-satisfaction gloating moment!
But as for this chapter alone, the second option seems to be the winner. "It's not Luffy's business" lol. So far in my surveys only the minority choices win and we all thought we know Luffy so well already! Hey, I was also completely off, I really thought Luffy would attempt to free Loki immediately :D
This break was way too long, I already need the next chapter please, it was hardly enough!
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morganski-19 · 1 day ago
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This the second part to my post about the Buck and Tommy break up scene, focusing on Buck's mindset on all of this.
This relationship was new, and exciting, but what new relationship isn't? Just because this is the first relationship with a man doesn't discount his excitement for being in a new relationship. It doesn't mean that Buck is in this relationship just because Tommy was the person who helped him realize he was bisexual.
However, that also doesn't mean that what Tommy said isn't true, in a way.
Buck is still figuring out who he is. Which is very much ok. Sexuality is something that is so hard to figure out, especially when you discover it later in life. It might take a while to fully unpack that, and figure out what that means for you.
And I think Buck attributed all of that growth within himself to this relationship. Much like how he attributed a lot of his growth while dating Abby to that relationship.
Relationships can help us grow as people, however, it is what we do to help ourselves grow that is the reason we change. Not the person, no the relationship, not the outward motivation to want to do better. A person can have all of that and never change. It is up to the person themselves to determine if they are going to change.
With Abby, Buck had the support to grow, to transform. I think he forgets that it was him who pumped the breaks when Abby first called him, it was him who hit the gas when he knew he wasn't going to fall back into old habits. It was Buck that grew because he wanted to, not because of Abby.
The same can be said with Tommy. Yes, Buck didn't know he was bisexual before Tommy. It was after that first kiss that he realized he liked men. However, again, it was himself that worked through that. It was himself that decided to explore this part of himself. Tommy made it very clear in the beginning of their relationship that he didn't think Buck was ready. Buck chose to show him that he was. Buck chose to reach out again and keep trying.
It wasn't Tommy that transformed Buck, much like it wasn't Abby that transformed Buck. It was all him.
And then Buck did what Buck does best and made an impulsive decision before he was ready because he thinks that's what he needs to do to gain affection. He feels like he has to make these big actions, especially after he feels he did something wrong, to be heard, to be seen. He's begging for Tommy to know that he's all in.
And it backfires. Tommy left, without a chance for Buck to explain himself properly. Bringing back that feeling of abandonment all over again.
I'd also like to address why I think Buck was never going to be the one to pull the plug on this relationship, and how it connects to everything I stated above.
I'd like to compare this to something that happened to a friend of mine. I'm going to keep is very brief for anonymity and privacy sake. Essentially, she knew that the relationship wasn't working but wanted to stay because he was her first. She felt indebted to him in a way, and thought that the connection they had was worth fighting for, even though she wasn't happy.
That's essentially what's happening here. Buck felt indebted to Abby, which is why he stayed so long even when it was clear the relationship was over. The same can be said with Tommy. He felt indebted to him because he helped Buck figure out something big about himself, and thought he needed to stay. Which is why he wouldn't have pulled the plug, as much as we all wanted him to.
I truly don't know where this is going to go for Buck, or how it's going to further the storyline. I have my hopes that it will allow for Buck to do some self reflection, and to continue to unpack his sexuality and what that means for him. And I can further hope that he can unpack what Tommy said, and realize why Tommy wasn't going to be his last. But other than that, it was just the same tune of someone abandoning Buck suddenly without any warning, and I'm tired of hearing it.
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yanderepuck · 8 hours ago
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AHHHHH DONT BE SORRY I LOVE IT ALL.
I love all feed back
Gonna put under it just in case
So pacing was a huge issue for me. I didn't WANT to write a full route. It was not my intention to write 20 chapters. I wanted it to be semi short.. like 8-10 like I've said..but then I didn't want everything to happen TOO quickly. I wanted to pace it out a little more. I wanted a LITTLE filler but I also didn't want to drag it on. Plus I couldn't really think of anything else to really add???
But I knew pacing would be a little bad. But I'm also writing this for shits and giggles..not as a real route so that's why I was like "you know what, it's okay"
I LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THE MC BC I HATE CANON MC. SHES SO DUMB I CANT DEAL WITH HER
So with Leonardo and Salaì...the thing is...his route isn't even canon. There's no way he would pick MC over Leonardo. So with all of that I didn't fully know how to word it all with it being so repetitive bc I worried about that as well. But basically Salaì realized that he shouldn't revolve his life around Leonardo, even though that's what he's been doing for centuries. Living without Leonardo is unthinkable to him. But he caught feelings for MC and he was like "know what I need to live for myself"
I hc that Leonardo has anger issues, and when he turned Salaì, he was technically VERY young considering he's a pureblood. So I tend to make him a little immature to make it fit.
Especially after Leonardo hurt his feelings. He's trying to tell himself that Leonardo isn't worth it, which MC helped him see bc in his eyes Leonardo could do no wrong and everything that happened was his fault and all on him. So he decided to move out to be away from Leonardo. He's hoping it helps him get tober him, but he still wants some sort of relationship with him.
BUT I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKED IT!!!!
There's a lot of his lore that I also didn't add bc it didn't really affect the story, plus like I said, his route isn't canon. I have a lot of info dump on him here
Art wise if you go to my blog and search the tag ikevamp Salaì art should come up if you scroll a bit. Or I could DM you the posts if that's easier.
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT ALL MAKES ME THO.
Ik it's not perfect. But for a fan made OC route I think I did pretty good so the feedback means so so so so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Salaì Route Masterlist
This is a FAN MADE route of my oc, Salaì. This means this route contains my headcanons for the characters and in no way is suppose to represent the canon story. This is just a fun little time because I know many of you enjoy Salai. Feel free to engage, talk theories, send asks (even to @ask-salai ).
DISCLAIMER: His route his not canon to his character. Also, all of his lore in not in the route for simplicity reasons plus please feel free to ask about him.
PS, this is not like a normal otome game route, it was only supposed to be 8-10 chapters, so keep that in mind because things WILL FEEL RUSHED. I am NOT a professional writer, I do this as a HOBBY. Somethings are not in-depth as I would like. Please do not go into this thinking it is going to be written the same as the game. Things will feel rushed, I'm sure I could have gone deeper into symbolism, but this is just a fun silly little project, which is also why I encourage you to ask questions. Everything in the route make sense to me because he is my character and I may have not realized I didn't add info. I am proofreading as I post but that doesn't mean I won't miss something.
Additional information
Episode 0
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Side Story | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Side Story | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Side Story | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20
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matchbet-allofthetime · 8 months ago
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Brb about to cry myself to sleep about Haldir dying in the films and the emotional damage that had to have caused Celeborn in particular.
I can only imagine Celeborn and Haldir being friends and becoming close for centuries upon centuries, and perhaps even Celeborn himself (not Galadriel, but him alone) specifically choosing Haldir to be Marchwarden.
Because he would trust no other more with such a title and task.
And then off Haldir goes with a final goodbye, off to Helm's Deep to fight alongside the race of Men.
And Celeborn waits. And waits. And until all the bodies of elves from the battle get brought back home to Lothlórien, he worries.
And he sees Haldir's bow. Then his quiver, then his sword, and then- his body.
And all he does for weeks is cry. He ponders leaving his own kingdom for Valinor- but what use is it, when his people need him?
Even so, until time comes where he finally leaves Middle Earth- he is miserable and dimmed and lonely, even with Lady Galadriel by his side.
He is only made happy again when he crosses to Valinor, and there are countless familiar faces waiting, banners risen high in honour of his arrival.
And out from behind one steps Haldir, face softened and chin held high, before he dips it to his Lord, like he always had.
Celeborn has never found himself moving faster, and he hugs his beloved Marchwarden so closely Haldir can feel just how much he trembles.
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rosemaryreality · 3 months ago
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If when Megumi and Yuuji talk again Megumi asks why Yuuji insists on saving him, and we get a callback to "personal feelings/selfish, emotional decision" i will die. You'll never hear from me again
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helenofblackthorns · 4 months ago
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idk why but sometimes I look in the anti tsc tags just because it's fun. the insane opinions you can stumble upon... for example I had no idea people were so passionate about jalec & jace/izzy that they sincerely believe they should have been canon. like they might the only people who think that but I admire the commitment
also I once saw someone say that the show is better than the books because it had representation. they were not claiming the books had worse representation mind you, they were explicitly claiming that the book didn't have any representation 😭 I think they must have read the wrong books because????
I also saw someone say that you could cut coa & cofa out of tmi and it would be perfectly understandable. they doubled down on coa having absolutely no storylines that are relevant in cog which. it doesn't have to be your favourite book or anything. but things did in fact happen. people died (mainly simon).
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monty-glasses-roxy · 3 months ago
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Ah fuck it whatever
There's something I love about the new Consequences AU and how it compares to the AUs and music it's come from.
Where things like Roxy's old kingdom being destroyed and her being almost drowned as a baby are metaphorical, there's a lot of things that strangely aren't. Roxy specifically denying the gods and the powers that be is something she does in most of my interpretations of her. The gods in most situations, isn't a spooky green rabbit, it's the people in the Fazbear boardroom making the world's worst decisions ever. To the animatronics, they are the gods. There's no higher authority than them, and they can have them destroyed without ever having met them, at just a moment's notice, for seemingly no reason.
Bonnie once believing in the gods and turning against them works like it does for most of the animatronics too. Even just questioning Fazbear isn't something many of them have been able to do, but all of them will eventually learn to. The more they learn through Roxy, despite what they might have known before, the more they realise what kind of company they've been forced to be a part of.
And Roxy's attitude towards these gods is always the same. She won't pretend to be nice to people she knows don't care about her. She won't put any extra effort into maintaining social etiquette if there's no point, if there's nothing for her to gain from it. Fazbear CEOs and board members have hurt her so much already, she doesn't give a flying shit about them, she's not wasting her time on them unless she absolutely has to. In this universe, the same can be said about the gods. She doesn't care for them and they don't care about her, so why bother? They've told like six people to assassinate her already, why would she choose to listen to them?
Roxy's relationship with the Minis and DJ? That's the same as it is across the board with most of the AUs I have. The attempt on Roxy's life when she's barely been born is shown differently in the new AU, but is still the same concept. Some things have been shifted around, such as the specific motivations, but not by a lot. I suppose Bonnie's dad in this fills the roll of Vanessa if Vanessa was also actually Mimic? He doesn't have an exact match here in terms of scale, but the comparisons are there.
The whole kingdom being destroyed, Roxy finding out that that's where she originally came from, that she was the newborn prince with a wholeass family she's never known, all lines up so well with everything else too. The pizzeria, scrapped storage, the old attractions there before her racetrack, it's all gone and she knew nothing about it. She's once again found out the truth in possibly the worst way imagineable, and she doesn't know what to do with this information, but honestly, who would?
The biggest difference there is that in this new AU, Roxy has the choice of what to do. In what's basically canon to the game, Roxy doesn't have that choice and likely never will. Where she's had to sacrifice her Raceway and Salon, sacrifice the vast majority of her life and her purpose for the safety of everyone around her, in this universe, she can choose not to. She sacrifices certainty this time, something she can regain as time goes on but in any other universe, there is never any certainty to get back. There will always be a Mimic threat and she can't get any of her old life back until it's dead and gone. She has to pay a price to keep Mimic contained, and while the Afton/Glitchtrap gods scramble to convince her otherwise, the Roxy in this new AU does have the choice whether she pays it or not.
But she will always still have to deal with the consequences of those with power. Every single time. And every single time so far, her entire existence is the consequence for them. Her life overall has not been the result of her own choices, but rather, the choices of people that never cared about her to begin with...
At least in this new universe she has a good childhood to fall back on and a cool ass horsie. And can actually do something about this shit. She can't normally do that :(
#not sure if that means she's winning or not hmm#fnaf security breach#consequence of the gods au#I should shorten that to just#consequences au#I guess#also yeah roxy can't normally do literally anything about... well anything really???#she can keep a lid on the situation but she doesn't have a choice. she HAS to make the sacrifice or people could die#and that sucks! she deserves better! and this time there's no blame to for her to carry only the burden of tragedy#which has maybe like... halfed the weight fazbear puts on her? maybe?#she's not okay is what I'm saying#though that's probably pretty obvious given the uhh#everything#this au is just super interesting to me it has a lot of parallels to other stuff and I like to give her a stick to beat people with#this time she can rally her friends with bonnie's help to drag the king to the fucking stocks#I just think there's maybe no greater punishment for a king like this than the humiliation pushed on the lowest class pick-pockets#cause the thing is. what she's chosen to do by not killing him is like breaking the cycle of revenge#but it's not mercy for him. she doesn't want his blood on her paws he's not worth it#him just. not being worth the effort of murder is incredibly offensive to him. he's the king god damn whadda hell#but he's never going to be sure for the rest of his life#he's going to have to live with the entire kingdom and every other kingdom knowing exactly what he did be it by afton's will or not#he has regretted it all this WAS pushed on him by these gods but finding out someone survived? that someone is on their way to get him?#it's a relief. it's finally over. he doesn't have to do this anymore... and then she just doesn't give that to him.#death was his salvation that was his freedom and she denies him that. she makes him live.#not without consequence of course but compared to the release of his execution these consequences are barbaric#they cut him like a knife by letting the local schoolkids throw tomatoes at his face#he still has to rule knowing that any moment roxy could change her mind and come back to finish the job.#or another survivor will do it for her. if I decide roxy gets a sister along with mangle and the old foxy?#then he's wondering where the OTHER one is. where is she? Roxy isn't who he'd expected to reach him at all she's dead#but surprise! she's not! he has lost the coin toss! she is the worst option of the two! by far!
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spamtoon · 6 months ago
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!
"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)
Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.
Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives
There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).
The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)
#snap chats#theres a note here about aoki's self hatred and ergo his inability to believe people could love him without 'worth'#and some kind of. I Dont Know occurs that comes with aoki accepting that love and ergo At Least Tolerating himself#and again becoming better as a person as a result. not WHOLLY you cant undo Everything Wrong With Him with one therapy session#but itd at least be a start and thats far more than anything else rgg has given since like. ryuji in dead souls#but w/e i- as per usual- have the vocabulary of a walrus so we're just gonna have to imagine i said something profound#AND THE LACK OF HUGGING IN THIS FRANCHISE IM GOING TO STAB ALL OF YOU. IN MINECRAFT.#with the power of delusions and this like seven-year-old wacom tablet i can fix that......#it'll never be enough it'll never fill the void in my soul but it'll be something i guess#BUT UGH NO SORRY IM JUST MAD NOW#nothing in my life has ever genuinely triggered anger in me than the y7 ending its just soooooooOOOOO#IT WAS SOOO CLOSE TO BEING PERFECT I CANT#im going to give myself a blood clot thinking about it anymore i feel my heart stopping Do Not Call An Ambulance I Cannot Afford It#so to stop myself from going in any more debt than i already am..... the possibility of any essays from me are very small#my ability to use words is near non existent. i feel like a right ninny sometimes#in any case im not sure what else i could expand on that isn't restating what you've said#cant ever be upset with bein on the same wavelength tho it gives my inarticulate ass a helluva easier time trying to explain LMAO#plus im petrified of trying to interpret anything from the english dub or english subs#and looking into language use is Very Much important when dissecting abusive relationships#i guess there's always just talking about general actions committed and not inspecting the exact words used#idk.. at the very least ill rotate the concept in my head and then fend off the urge to eat my teeth#i'm gonna throw up.... im still thinking of it........ gonna make an unrelated-but-arguably-related post in like three seconds#dont look at it its cringe
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lesenbyan · 1 year ago
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I think the Hilson is getting to me so much bc this is the first time I've watched the show since actually identifying as disabled and being in pain 24/7 and watching House get angry and fed up and selfish when he sees the people who force him to keep going and have made him quite vicodin twice do everything they can to not live a life in pain is like.
Yeah House. I get where you're coming from now. You're still an ass, but like, yeah, I would be too a little
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arcane-strangeness · 8 months ago
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#Delete later#There's so much shit happening in my life right now and this has been haunting the back of my mind for ages and I just ugh#What do you do when your boyfriend is going through some fucked up shit and won't respond to your texts asking if he's ok if he wants to#Hang out later or even just talk about things#Like I asked if he wanted to go to a mall later and it turns out he's going to mfing Arizona and. Didn't tell me at all?#He's going through a lot of stuff right now but I kinda want just like. Basic details of what he's doing?#So I can talk to him without sounding like a idiot? And not have to worry about him when he ghosts me for a couple weeks?#And the whole reason I'm questioning things isn't because he's being frustrating I've been thinking about this for a looong time#At first I thought I might have just been demi aro? Because like we were best friends before we were in a relationship#And I really do care about him I just don't know to what extent (what defines romantic attraction anyways? Never been clear on that)#And I'd break up with him and say I just need a couple weeks to sort things out and I think he'd understand#But also he really doesn't need that stress right now things have been getting really bad on his end#Our relationship isn't actively hurting me but if this trend continues it might eventually#I just really want to talk to him. About things. I hope I'm not doing a bad job handling this#Ufhfhdjajajajahrgehehh#Worth mentioning that Phoebe from Ghostbusters is making me question things as well.#Things are confusing all of the time :(
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whytheylosttheirminds · 29 days ago
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Don't Call Me Kid - Chapter 5 (part two)
(Rafe Cameron x Reader series, 3.8k words)
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series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
series content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
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Years later, you’d still wonder if Topper did it all on purpose. 
When you asked him, he’d just wink and say “bet you’d like to know.” 
As your group walked down the dock towards the rental kiosk, Topper pulled out his phone, grinning down at the screen.
“What’s funny?” Carter tried to read over his shoulder.
“Nothing,” he tucked his phone in his pocket quickly, failing to hide the cheeky look in his eyes, zero poker face. “Kelce is coming.”
The guy Carter had haggled with brought your group over to the three jet skis and gave you a demonstration on how to drive them. You weren’t paying very close attention, more focused on the uneven pairing of the five of you and how to ensure you didn’t end up on the same jet ski as Tom. His rudeness this morning was the final nail in the coffin of your crush.
The guy gave Carter three keys, and you met her eyes, knowing she was thinking the same thing. 
Topper looked at Carter hopefully, his big puppy dog eyes watching her with anticipation. You felt for him, the two of you really weren’t all that different. Sure, he’d gotten to hook up with Carter plenty of times, his crush not totally unrequited, but she’d never given him what he really wanted. At the end of the day, you were just two people who were really good at loving people who didn’t love you back. Still, you knew in your heart of hearts that Carter did love him back, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Maybe you would never get your dream, but you could make sure that two people you cared about got theirs, and that might be the only thing that made this all worth it.
You planned it out quick, knowing Carter was seconds from asking you to ride with her so you wouldn’t be with Tom, and also knowing that what she really wanted was an afternoon alone with Topper.
“I told Kelce I’d ride with him,” you blurted out. 
“Did you?” Carter asked skeptically, trying to figure you out.
“Yeah, I think he’s still worried I’m mad at him,” you made up off the top of your head. “Thought I’d throw him a bone.”
Carter watched you the whole time she boarded the back of Topper’s jet ski, telling him to wait up so they didn’t leave you alone. Tom and Sabrina didn’t seem to care about leaving you, speeding off the second they climbed on their jet ski, Sabrina’s over-the-top shrieks echoing through the air.
“That bother you?” Topper asked when he caught you scowling in their direction.
“Actually, I’m thinking they might be made for each other,” you concluded.
“So you’re not, like, into him?” Topper asked hopefully.
“Not anymore. That ship sailed so quick,” you snorted.
“Ah,” he tried to play it cool, “good to know.” 
“Don’t get any fucking ideas,” Carter warned him.
“I didn’t say anything!” He insisted.
“You don’t have to, you have zero poker face,” Carter said. “No Tom does not equal yes Rafe.”
“I’m just saying it’s good to know. Am I not allowed to know things?” 
You rolled your eyes at their bickering, less than surprised they were having this conversation right in front of you.
“Y’know, you guys can just take off, I’ll be fine waiting for Kelce,” you offered, desperate to move this conversation about your love life out to sea and away from you.
“Right, Kelce,” Topper nodded. “Kelce is coming.”
“Why are you being so weird?!” Carter squinted at him.
“I’m not! I just wanna go!” Topper revved the engine of the jet ski.
Carter looked at you one more time, checking that you were okay with this.
“Have fun!” You said to reassure her.
That’s all Topper needed to hear, he hit the throttle and pulled away from the dock as fast as he could. Carter’s laughter filled the air, she grabbed him tight and tucked her chin in the crook of his shoulder as he drove. She was happy, so you were happy. Your whole life, that’s really all it took, and you knew she felt the same way about you.
With that lovely thought, you climbed on the jet ski so you’d be ready to go as soon as Kelce arrived. 
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Rafe held the keys a little too tight, Kelce struggling to pry them from his hands.
“You gotta take it easy on the clutch, she’s sensitive.”
“I know how to drive, man,” Kelce wriggled the keys from his grip as he climbed into the driver’s seat of Rafe’s truck.
Rafe stalled by the door for a minute, his feet suddenly feeling very heavy. He looked around the marina, scanning for the group. His heart skipped a beat when he found only you, bobbing in the water on your jet ski all alone.
He’d texted Topper a head’s up that he was coming and asked him to let you know. He didn’t want you to think he was in on Topper’s dumbass scheme to get you two together. If he was gonna do this he was gonna do it right, not try to trick you into it.
Now you were waiting for him, looking so gorgeous with your legs on either side of the seat and your hair blowing gently in the wind. 
Usually, he didn’t call girls beautiful, typically opting for hot, or sometimes pretty if he was drunk. But the only word for you right now, and always, was beautiful.
“You gonna let me leave, man?” Kelce asked, gesturing to Rafe’s hands, still clutching the handle of the door.
“Yeah, sorry,” Rafe pulled away, wiping his hand against his board shorts when he realized it was clammy, the sight of you making him nervous in a way he had never been before.
“What’s got you so worried? Are you scared of her or something?” Kelce mocked him.
Rafe was surprised that Kelce had actually caught on to who he was looking at, giving him an annoyed eye roll.
“I’m not scared of her,” he defended himself.
“Don’t even worry about it man, I bet she’s still wrapped around your finger.”
Rafe shot Kelce a steely warning look he’d given him a thousand times.
“I’m just saying, you don’t need to worry,” Kelce explained. “You’re the man.”
Kelce was an idiot, and he spent a good ninety percent of their friendship pissing Rafe off, but he always tried to hype Rafe up. Usually he was annoyed by it, but right now, he actually needed it.
You used to talk about him that way, too. Oh, the money he would pay for you to see him in a good light again. He’d swim across this entire bay just to hear one kind word about him coming from your lips. 
“Nah, I’m really not,” he shook his head slightly, looking back toward you. “But I think with her I could be.”
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The audacity, the fucking nerve of him to come strolling down the dock looking that good. The sun actually broke through the crowds at his arrival, like he’d bribed the gods. He strolled towards you so casually, his grin easy, like he didn’t know he was the most attractive man you’d ever seen in real life. It pissed you off.
“What are you doing here?” You snapped at him when he reached you.
His grin faltered, like he was the one surprised to see you.
“Didn’t Topper tell you I was coming?” He asked.
“No, of course he didn’t,” you said, finally understanding the reason for Topper’s strangeness earlier.
“I asked him to,” Rafe swore. “I didn’t want to make you think I was trying to-”
“I think I’m just gonna go alone,” you cut him off, turning the key in the engine of the jet ski, desperate to put an ocean between you and him before he said another considerate thing that he’d just undo later. “You can rent your own.”
“No can do,” said the owner, arriving to hand Rafe a lifejacket. “This is our last one. You better take your boyfriend with you, sweetheart.”
You rolled your eyes at the situation and the misogynistic comment. 
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you mumbled. 
Rafe felt the correction was unnecessary, but you didn’t seem to be in the mood for constructive feedback at the moment.
“Is it cool if I, uh, can I come with you?” He wasn’t walking back down this dock without trying.
“Fine,” you agreed reluctantly. “But I’m driving.”
“Good with me,” he climbed on quickly before you could change your mind.
With a kick that sent you both lurching forward, the jet ski roared as you tightened your hand on the throttle. Instinctually, Rafe’s hands landed on your side, holding you both in place. You only had a second to feel the pads of his fingers clinging to the soft skin of your waist before he pulled them away.
“Shit, sorry,” he said.
The guy on the dock leaned forward to push the jet ski from the dock, redirecting you out toward the bay.
“No, actually you should hold on,” he instructed. “These babies go fast and it’s a little choppy out there today. Take it real easy out of the marina and then you can kick it up when you’re in open water.”
You could feel Rafe’s hands twitch with hesitancy before they rested on your sides again, so lightly you wondered if he was actually touching you at all.
With a push, you drifted out to sea, slowly picking up speed with the turn of the throttle.
“Do you want me to let go?” He asked, leaning in so you could hear him over the roar of the motor.
Somehow, you thought two completely conflicting thoughts at the exact same time:
Yes, now.
and
No, never.
You settled on, “whatever.”
Rafe started to let go, but the jet ski hit the wake of a nearby boat, and you both nearly flew off the seat. His grip tightened protectively, practically pinning your body down. With his strong hands on you so firmly, it felt like you could hit a tidal wave and he’d still have you in his grasp. You needed more of whatever that was.
Your laughter filled the salty air as you purposefully drove you and Rafe over the choppiest patches of the water, hair whipping behind you into his face, and he didn’t even care. He watched you in the side view mirror on the front of the jet ski, memorizing every inch of your smile like he’d never see it again.
“Jesus, are you trying to kill us?” He teased, yelling over the woosh of the wind.
“It’d be a fun way to go!” You yelled back, meeting his eyes in the mirror.
Rafe’s hands still on your waist, you felt him lean in slightly. Even with two lifejackets between you, the proximity of your bodies was electrifying. You could feel his strong thighs on either side of your hips, closing you in everytime you hit a bump, securing you in place. You wondered if he was doing it on purpose or if it was just his instinct, you didn’t know which was hotter.
The water rushed behind you, a foamy wake marking your path as you continued driving as fast as you could. The others must’ve gone a different way out of the marina, because they were nowhere in sight. The sky was darkening slightly, the shift in weather causing most boats to drive the opposite way, back to the docks. But you just kept going, and Rafe didn’t tell you to turn around, both drunk on the adrenaline of the speed and the feeling of each other’s skin.
After a particularly jostling bump, the engine sputtered slightly.
“Fuck, what was that?” You puzzled, turning the throttle harder but gaining no speed.
“Here, you gotta twist it like this,” Rafe’s arms wrapped around you, his hands covering yours as he guided you to turn the throttle in the exact way you just were.
“That’s exactly what I was doing,” you bickered. “It’s not working.”
“Maybe I should drive?”
“It’s not my driving, something’s wrong with the jet ski,” you argued, swatting his hands away. 
“Can you just let me try?” He argued back.
“No, you’re making it worse!” 
The engine continued to sputter until it cut completely, causing both your bodies to lunge forward as it came to an abrupt halt.
“Rafe what did you do?” You accused him.
“What did I do? You wouldn’t even let me touch it!” He snapped.
You turned the key in the ignition over and over. The jet ski growled a few times but never started back up. Eventually, you gave up with a frustrated huff.
“I think we’re out of gas,” you conceded.
“Well, did you ask the guy if it was filled before you left?” Rafe questioned.
“Oh, so now this is my fault?” You craned your neck to see him, anger in your eyes.
“No, that’s not-”
“I’m so tired of this, Rafe.”
“We’ve only been out here for like a minute.”
“No, not this,” you motioned toward the water, “this,” you motioned between you and him.
“Oh. Me?” He tried and failed to hide his hurt feelings.
“Not you, just, all this back and forth. One second we’re having a good time and the next you’re pulling away or snapping at me. I have fucking whiplash.”
“Are you sure it’s not just from the jet ski?” He attempted a joke, it only half worked.
“How are we gonna get back?” You redirected the conversation before he could see you were smirking.
“A boat will come by,” he said confidently. “We’ll be fine.”
No boats came by in the following minute, or the following five. You sat in tense silence, your previous words still hanging between you. Your head hurt from the wind and trying to figure this man out.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, almost inaudible. “I know I’m…difficult.”
You turned your neck, not quite far enough to see him, but enough to let him know you were listening, that he should go on.
“I don’t know how to act around you,” he admitted. “One second I feel like I’ve fucked it up so bad that there’s not even a point in trying to fix it and the next…”
This time, you do turn, twisting your torso so you could look him intently in the eyes, imploring him to say something right for once, begging him not to let you fall off this cliff alone again.
“…you look at me like that,” he almost whispered. “And then I think fuck it, I’d try forever if you let me.”
For the first time ever, he was with you on the way down, finally jumping together.
“Can I?” He asked, voice low.
“Can you what?” you blinked at him slowly, the moment so surreal you worried it wasn’t happening, that you’d wake up in Carter’s bed, all of this day just one long fever dream.
“Fix things…with you?”
“I don’t know.”
It was the most honest answer you could give him.
“Can I try?” His voice broke slightly when he said it, and you could feel the vulnerability leaking through the cracks.
“Yeah,” you gave in.
“I miss you,” he breathed, and your heart felt heavy with longing and resentment at the same time.
“I don’t think you ever really knew me, Rafe,” you said, turning to face forward again, sad eyes scanning the horizon. “You never paid close enough attention.”
He thought over your words, and you could feel that there was something brewing in his mind, a decision he was making. When he finally spoke again, it wasn’t the words you expected.
“What’s your favorite color?”
You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face as you said, “huh?”
“Just tell me,” he smiled back, even though you weren’t looking, you could hear it in his voice.
You answered him, and he followed that question up with another, and another, and they kept rolling off his tongue and you kept answering, until the strangeness of it faded and the two of you were just talking.
For over an hour, you drifted, leaning forward on the handlebars with your back to him as Rafe asked you questions and listened intently to your long, detailed answers. You were hesitant, just at first. No one had ever let you talk this long without interrupting you. No one had ever wanted so badly to hear what you had to say. He nodded along to everything, responding with thoughtful mhms and carefully worded follow up questions.
After a while, you forgot about the surrealness of it all, where you were, who you were with. It was just you and your old friend, sharing your lives with each other. 
I could do this for a long time, you thought, like maybe forever.
Everytime you thought he must be bored by now, he just kept asking, hanging on every word like he was collecting them for some secret project.
“What do you want to do after you graduate?” and “Who’s your closest friend?” and “Are you still into that one band?” and eventually, when he was running low on ideas, “what’s the last movie you saw?”
You laughed. 
“What?” He asked with a timidness that squeezed your heart.
“The last movie I saw was the last movie you saw,” you reminded him.
“Oh, right,” he chuckled, but there was an edge to it.
“It’s a good movie, though,” you leaned back toward him a little, trying to pull him from whatever thoughts were causing his spirit to fall. “My favorite.”
He nodded, “Tom did a nice job putting together that little shindig.”
“I guess so,” you said, not sure how to proceed.
“You know he plays football for U of F?” He said. “Or did I guess, before he graduated.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, he was All American,” he nodded. You’d give all the money you had for one glimpse of what was going on in his head.
“He’s an impressive guy,” he admitted. “I can see why you’d end up in his room.”
“Rafe, oh my god,” you huffed, standing suddenly. Your body rose above him, his eyes tracking every movement. You swung your leg over the seat, flipping around so you were facing him, sitting back down so you could look him in the eyes when you said, “I didn’t sleep in Tom’s room.”
“Oh.”
It was all he could muster up, his throat going dry from both the embarrassment he felt for being wrong and the sudden proximity of your bodies. He willed himself not to let his eyes travel down to the way your lifejacket was pushing your chest together, or the soft skin of your bare thighs, now spread open in front of him as you straddled the seat. He kept his eyes on yours, the most respectful option, though it didn’t help his speechlessness. The uninterrupted contact with your beautiful irises nearly put him over the edge. He almost hoped no boats would come by after all so he could look into your eyes for hours.
“Is that why you got up and left last night?” You questioned, not missing the way his eyes were trained intensely on yours.
“The floor was uncomfortable,” he mumbled.
“The floor,” you nodded, “the floor was uncomfortable. Got it.”
“You're mad at me again,” he surmised.
“When was I ever not mad at you?” 
“I dunno,” he shrugged sarcastically, “somewhere between the movie and your panties hitting the floor.”
You wanted to slap him. And kiss him. He could tell, teasing you with a sideways smirk. You tried to channel the newfound confidence you’d had last night, addicted to the taste of power.
You leaned forward, hands on the leather seat between you, looking up at him with hooded eyes.
“Did you like that?” 
“You know I did.” 
He responded so fast and his voice was so low you couldn’t tell if he was pissed off or turned on. Either way, he wasn’t fucking around anymore.
“Then why didn’t you stay?” 
It felt like that one question held so many questions, and based on the look on his face, you knew he could hear it too. You weren’t just asking about last night, you weren’t just asking why he went to sleep on the couch. You were asking about years of him coming up short, why he’d failed you so many times, why he never, ever seemed to pick you.
“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”
As he said it, the wind kicked up, and the jet ski began to rock even harder as waves rose and fell beneath you. One particularly choppy wave had you tilting a little too far off the seat, and Rafe’s hands landed on your waist again. This time, there was nothing hesitant about it. When you didn’t push him away, his thumb brushed an experimental circle into your skin.
“Do you want me to let go?”
In lieu of answering, your hands came to rest over his. He assumed you were gonna pull them off of you, and for a moment you thought you might too, but then his words echoed in your mind: he didn’t know you wanted him to.
You could do this. You could lean into it and just let it happen. You were supposed to fight it, make him grovel more, make him pay you back for the years you’d waited. It’s what everyone expected. You were only a few hundred yards off shore, but the rest of the world felt lightyears away, and out here, there was nothing stopping you letting him touch you, kiss you, have you. You could just let it happen, and no one would have to know.
But before you could decide if you wanted to, a deep rumble of thunder broke out across the sky.
“Shit,” you jumped. 
“We gotta get out of here,” Rafe looked up at the darkening sky nervously.
“But how?” 
“How well can you swim?”
That’s how Rafe ended up in the water, gripping the back of the jet ski as the waves rocked it harshly, water splashing up and landing on your feet. You tightened your lifejacket, feeling apprehensive about the whole thing.
“I can just push us if you want to stay on,” Rafe offered.
“No, it’ll go faster if it’s both of us.”
You stepped to the edge, hesitating, wanting to rip the bandaid and just jump in but not wanting to jump too far off and get separated. Your indecision cost you, your foot slipped and you dropped into the water, your leg scraping against the edge of the jet ski as you fell. 
Blinded by pain, you reached for Rafe as your head slipped under the surface, but your hands came up empty.
(Chapter 6: part one)
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a/n: as always, sorry for any tag errors!!! I never leave ppl off on purpose so pls let me know! to be first to know when a new chapter drops follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs 😘
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