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arotechno · 6 years ago

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Carnival of Aros: February 2019

Below the cut is my submission for the first ever Carnival of Aros, hosted by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project. Thank you to Sennkestra, TAAAP, and everyone else involved in bringing this to fruition. I have wanted this for a long time, and it feels so, so good to see it become a reality.

Upon hearing that the topic for the first Carnival of Aros was to be a joint endeavor with the Carnival of Aces about the relationship between the two communities, I was equal parts thrilled and apprehensive. To me, this topic seems both incredibly self-aware and timely and yet also a bit tone-deaf. The call for submissions describes the relationship between the ace community and the rapidly growing aro community as having “growing pains”, and I frankly can not think of a better way to phrase that.

Because for me, reflecting on this topic brought on thoughts of a seemingly never-ending struggle that is both distant in the past and current, raw, and ongoing. For those who are unaware, the relationship between the ace and aro communities was the OG Discourse. Based on my own recollection and the confirmations of others, it was about 2014-2015 or so when the aro community was starting to stand on its own two feet and demand recognition as a separate entity from the ace community, particularly for alloaros, for whom being defined as ace was both inaccurate and incredibly alienating. As an aroace, the pain I felt during this time, as a baby aspec watching this unfold from a comfortable distance behind the relative safety of my computer screen, was a different kind of pain. I had only just come into my identity, and the aro and ace communities being cut completely apart was going to force me and other aroaces to choose. Before any of this could reach a reasonable, nuanced conclusion, the exclusionary discourse that we’re all unfortunately familiar with today started to crop up, and eventually took precedence.

But with both of our communities starting to rise up out of those ashes, particularly the aro community (which I’m substantially more active in), I can see this debate creeping up again. And frankly, in the years that have passed, some of the aro erasure I’ve seen from the ace community has made me extremely bitter. But I don’t want to talk about that, because I’ve talked about it enough, and quite honestly I’m tired of it. I don’t want to alienate myself from either of the communities that have given me the words to describe my experiences. My aro and ace identities are inseparable, and cutting all ties between our communities would absolutely devastate me. Our histories are intertwined, and in a relative post-discourse 2019 in which terms like aspec exist, I’ve decided to look towards a more hopeful future in which we can reach the kind of mutual understanding and solidarity that we never made it to before.

So what does that mean, ideally, for the future of the aspec community?

Firstly, aromanticism is not an ace umbrella identity. Alloaro friends of mine, upon hearing about the Carnival of Aros, expressed their apprehension at participating in an event that required them to describe their experiences in terms of the ace community. To them, as well as many aroaces I’ve spoken to, tying the first Carnival of Aros so heavily was tone-deaf and in some ways a reflection of the problem. A large portion of the aro community wants our arospec identities honored without being attached to the ace umbrella. The ace flag does not represent the aro identity the way it is sometimes used to represent acespec identities.

On a similar note, aspec means acespec AND arospec, not just acespec. I can’t tell you how many aro folks I’ve had tell me they had no idea the word aspec included them as well and wasn’t just shorthand for acespec.

In order for the ace and aro communities to truly reach a mutual understanding, it needs to be made clear that aces who are not aro cannot speak on aro issues, just as the reverse is true. Things that are relatable to alloromantic aces are often not relatable to aromantics, especially to alloaros.

It would be easy for me to spend my whole life griping about what’s wrong with the relationship between our communities, or lamenting the fact that I feel like I have to choose, or getting frustrated when things don’t go according to how I would like. Reflecting on this month’s topic, though, has led me to the realization that I am frankly exhausted. Being bitter is exhausting. I want to be hopeful. I want to reconcile my aro identity with the ace community and find a place in it again, like I found five years ago. So much of my aromantic experience has felt like a shout into a void that never answers. I just want the ace community to hear that voice and raise it up, instead of speaking over it.

My hopes for the future of the Carnival of Aros?

I hope it succeeds and one day grows to be as strong as the Carnival of Aces has been. I hope future topics are more inherently inclusive of alloaros, so that my friends no longer avoid participating for fear of coming across as overly negative (perhaps it would be a good idea to get some alloaro folks to host). The aspec community has been under constant pressure to defend ourselves with every breath for years, so of course we’re all hurting, especially when that pressure comes from within. It’s okay to be hurting, but we need to talk about it!

I’m choosing to be optimistic about the future of the aro community and our relationship with the ace community. We are, slowly but surely, stepping out of the shadow of the ace community and finding our own footing. Of course that is going to come with some growing pains, but that doesn’t mean things cannot change, it just means we have to open up the dialogue; things aren’t perfect and probably never will be, but things can change, they will change, they already are changing. The creation of the Carnival of Aros is just one step in that direction. It may not be perfect, but it’s still a step forward, and I applaud TAAAP for opening this dialogue.

I’m tired. I’m so, so tired, but I’m choosing to have hope. Reading the introductory post to the Carnival of Aros, it became clear to me that ace communities and aspec organizations such as TAAAP and Aces & Aros are becoming increasingly more aware of the widespread (and typically unintentional) erasure of aromantics and are attempting to correct those shortcomings through rebranding efforts and the creation of the Carnival of Aros. It wasn’t even that long ago that the arospec community didn’t have our own awareness week. My college ace group was officially renamed to aspec per my suggestion in an effort to include aros, and we’re having an event for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week for the first time this year. Progress is possible, even if it happens slowly. Sometimes you just need to give people a push in the right direction. May this month’s Carnival of Aros be that push, so that we can talk about where we’ve been and figure out where it is we’re going, as two intertwined communities on equal ground. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

#carnival of aros #taaap #asaw 2019 #aro #aromantic #aro community #aspec #aspec community #long post #op

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bethestaryouareradio · 4 years ago

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Apologies on Freedom Day

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MIRACLE MOMENT®

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.” Martin Luther King Jr.

MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN, Founder/Executive Director

Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day, marks the end of slavery in the South on June 19, 1865. As PBS proclaims, “in this sixth month of the non-stop stunner that is 2020, the country finds itself in a period of education and reckoning of the racism embedded in its birth.”

I write this message to apologize for using the “color blind” analogy in our previous newsletter. After sending out the newsletter to share solidarity, a few of our dedicated BTSYA volunteers politely emailed to inform me that the use of the words “color blind” is offensive in todays vernacular. (You may read excerpts below) I thank these brave individuals for their courage to stand up, express themselves, and educate all of us,

specifically me. One of my mottos has always been “Failure is fertilizer. Throw your mistakes on the compost pile and grow a new garden.” I made a mistake and from that I learned so much. I am sorry.

We are living in unprecedented times and the world is in chaos with Covid-19 and the largest wave of civil unrest since the 1960s, spurred by outrage over police brutality and racism. Here at Be the Star You Are!® we are INCLUSIVE. We don’t tolerate bigotry, racism, or any other negative attitude towards any race, religion, gender, culture, or viewpoint. We stand together as a colorful united family of brothers and sisters from many different countries and backgrounds. Take a peek at our website, https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org or our teen radio show at http://www.expressyourselfteenradio.com and you’ll see that our volunteers represent the nations of the world. We are very proud to stand for freedom and equality for all.

My acting union, SAG-AFTRA released the following statement from President Gabrielle Carteris and National Executive Director David P. White on the murder of George Floyd. It states more eloquently what we at Be the Star You Are!® believe so I share this with you.

“The murder of George Floyd is deeply emblematic of a corrosive inequality and injustice at the heart of America. As protests spread across the country it is not enough to condemn injustice. It’s not enough to demand change. We must recognize that racism lives in our culture and only we can change that. We must speak up in the face of injustice and fight back against the indignities our fellow citizens face every day. We must be defenders and allies. We must be better than this.The ugly truth is that Mr. Floyd's killing was one among many murders of black people over many years. Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Philando Castile, Michael Brown, Jr., Marsha P. Johnson, Emmett Till, and the list goes painfully on and on stretching back for centuries. It must end. Black lives do matter.”

Again, I apologize if the newsletter offended, Please forgive me. It was never my intention to be offensive in any way.

There is no room for bigotry, brutality, or racism in our world. We are all on a learning curve and open to all feedback. Although we are all sailing together in this time of pandemic, I recognize that we are not in the same boat.

This is a time to be kind. To help one another. To be inclusive. We will not tolerate injustice. When we embrace diversity we increase peacefulness. Let’s remember that love always wins when kindness prevails. Smiles will keep us happy.

Juneteenth is not currently recognized as a Federal holiday but by celebrating it, we take one step forward towards reconciliation and the fight for freedom for all.

We want to hear from you. How do you demonstrate that Black Lives Matter? We’re interested in your thoughts and actions. Send your comments (less than 50 words) to our Kindness Coordinator, Karen Kitchel at [email protected] by June 30. We will include a variety of responses (first name only) in our July newsletter.

I know I'm going to make many more mistakes. We all will. But let's learn and grow from them. We are COLOR BRAVE!

Be strong, be brave, be safe.

And don’t forget to also celebrate Father’s Day on June 21. A salute to all the great dads of every color and creed.

In solidarity,

Cynthia Brian Founder/Executive Director Be the Star You Are!® PO Box 376 Moraga, California 94556 [email protected] https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org http://www.BTSYA.org

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EXCERPTS FROM TWO POWERFUL EMAILS WITH RESOURCE LINKS

"I'm emailing you now about the newsletter I recently received that was titled Become Color Blind. I understand the need to be in unity in this fight against institutional racism and police brutality, so I do appreciate your response on this. But I feel that asking everyone to "become color blind" is counterproductive and incredibly tone deaf in light of recent events.

Saying you are color blind says that you ignore the fact that oppression/racism exists for people of color like me. As recent events have shown, we are all not treated equally, unfortunately. I in no way mean to attack you, but this was something I found to be offensive. Put short, I feel there are better ways voicing your support.

Here is a video that might help explain some of what I said better. https://www.ted.com/talks/mellody_hobson_color_blind_or_color_brave Sincerely, Anika "

"I admire all of the work you do in order to enrich the lives of young people. I received your email earlier this week regarding the Black Lives Matter movement and in it you stated that your organization is ‘Color Blind’, I know this statement is not meant to have malice or be hurtful. So I felt obligated to explain why this popular statement is damaging and can make people of color feel uncomfortable.

I am Latina and for me this statement, while well intentioned, can feel as if my unique experiences with being Mexican are overlooked. We can no longer be colorblind, we must recognize people’s experiences and understand that someone who is Black has had a different experience than someone who is Asian. To say that your organization is ‘Color Blind’ diminishes the experiences of POC. While we all bleed the same blood we are all experiencing a different reality, while some of us may never struggle because of the color of our skin others will have to live in fear because of theirs. And these differences need to be acknowledged. What you must strive for instead is to not be color blind, but to be actively Anti-Racist. Being anti-racist means that you are actively acknowledging other experiences while educating yourself on how to be a better ally. We must realize and digest how Black people in our country carry the weight of hundreds of years of systematic oppression and learn how to fight for a system that values Black lives. Color blind and anti-racist are not interchangeable and while one diminishes the existence of oppression and experience the other acknowledges oppression and actively tries to counteract it.

I wanted to contact you to explain this because I know that your email had the best intentions and did not mean to diminish any experiences. I am very happy to see your organization be so accepting and so against discrimination. I wanted to mention that I mean no disrespect in sending this email to you and solely wanted to let you know how this term has changed and evolved. I understand that the words I use today when it comes to fighting against discrimination will be replaced in the future with other terms better suited for the fight against racism. I am very happy that I worked with a group that has taken a firm stance on this issue and I wish you all the best.

If my definition was not very clear here are some resources that may explain it better than I could:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/10/05/white-parents-teach-their-children-be- colorblind-heres-why-thats-bad-everyone/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culturally-speaking/201112/colorblind-ideology- is-form-racism

Thank you for reading this and hearing my perspective in this issue. Best, Olivia"

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Summit begins on June 20th, 2020 with a special guest featured each day .Be the heroine of your own epic life. Watch and learn from a league of leaders and trailblazers to help you to lead a life you love. Your dreams can be your reality!

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joy, especially during tough times. For the next few months, make sure you are tuned in to both StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® on Wednesdays at 4pm PT for “Writers Wednesdays” LIVE http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2206/be-the-star-you-are as well as our teen program, Express Yourself!TM airing on Sundays at 3pm PT for “Super Smart Sundays”, https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself

Both programs broadcast on the Voice America Network, Empowerment Channel and will be archived on that site as well as iTunes, Stitcher, etc. It’s a giant artistic festival!

CHECK OUT BOOK REVIEWS

Our Star Teen Book Review Team is busy reading and writing reviews for you to enjoy this summer. Reviews are honest and the personal experience of each writer. Check them out at our website, http://www.btsya.com/book_reviews.html, and at our partner, The Reading Tub, https://thereadingtub.org/books/be-the-star- you-are/. Many thanks to our Book Review Coordinator, Stephanie Cogeos, for keeping us on track. If you are interested in joining our team, you can find the info at http://www.btsya.com/book_reviews.html,.

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Celebrate Freedom Day!

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

Be the Star You Are!®

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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO EVERY AMAZING DADDY!

#apologiesfreedomblacklivesmatterjuneteenthcynthia brianbe the star you are millennials to boomers be the star you are expressyourself voice

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goddessgardener · 4 years ago

Text

Apologies on Freedom Day

Read more: http://hosted.verticalresponse.com/672296/2c1f13214d/288055965/bbd34d3431/

Like 6 Share Click to view this email in a browser

MIRACLE MOMENT®

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.” Martin Luther King Jr.

MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN, Founder/Executive Director

Again, I apologize if the newsletter offended, Please forgive me. It was never my intention to be offensive in any way.

Juneteenth is not currently recognized as a Federal holiday but by celebrating it, we take one step forward towards reconciliation and the fight for freedom for all.

I know I'm going to make many more mistakes. We all will. But let's learn and grow from them. We are COLOR BRAVE!

Be strong, be brave, be safe.

And don’t forget to also celebrate Father’s Day on June 21. A salute to all the great dads of every color and creed.

In solidarity,

Cynthia Brian Founder/Executive Director Be the Star You Are!® PO Box 376 Moraga, California 94556 [email protected] https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

EXCERPTS FROM TWO POWERFUL EMAILS WITH RESOURCE LINKS

Here is a video that might help explain some of what I said better. https://www.ted.com/talks/mellody_hobson_color_blind_or_color_brave Sincerely, Anika "

If my definition was not very clear here are some resources that may explain it better than I could:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/10/05/white-parents-teach-their-children-be- colorblind-heres-why-thats-bad-everyone/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culturally-speaking/201112/colorblind-ideology- is-form-racism

Thank you for reading this and hearing my perspective in this issue. Best, Olivia"

FREE WOMEN'S SUMMIT

Don't live your life by default, live by design.

Passions into Profits Women's Summit

Hosted by Jane Applegath at http://JaneApplegath.com.

Cynthia Brian is the featured guest on June 25th. FREE registration.

http://www.janeapplegath.com. WRITER WEDNESDAYS and SUPER SMART SUNDAYS

Both programs broadcast on the Voice America Network, Empowerment Channel and will be archived on that site as well as iTunes, Stitcher, etc. It’s a giant artistic festival!

CHECK OUT BOOK REVIEWS

SHOP ONLINE WITHOUT A MASK!

Direct Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®

Celebrate Freedom Day!

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376 Moraga, California 94556 [email protected] https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO EVERY AMAZING DADDY!

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